The Uneducated PT Podcast - Ep 138 Happy New Year

Episode Date: December 31, 2025

Solo ep talking about adding / approach goals: aiming to do more of a desired behavior (e.g., “Walk 20 minutes after lunch 4x/week”). vs restricting / avoidance goals: aiming to stop or reduce an undesired behavior (e.g., “Stop eating sweets”)

Hello and welcome back to the uneducated PT podcast with me your host, Carlo Rourke. It is New Year's Eve and obviously I haven't got any episodes uploaded in the last while because I was away for four weeks in Indonesia, training and relaxing and enjoying my life. Not that I don't enjoy my life all the time. I enjoy my life when I'm home or when I'm away. but yeah i wanted to get away and do a little bit of training and enjoy myself and i you know i didn't really have um time or the equipment to keep up with the podcast which is okay sometimes you can be a little bit inconsistent and sometimes you're going to be more consistent

uh and even if you're inconsistently consistent um at least you're showing up and trying and that's what i would say to anyone who's um you know trying in terms of starting their new year's resolutions and you know they might be getting into the gym come january um i know a lot of people shit on new year's resolutions and they shit on uh people who they they shit on like the gyms being busy during january and you know all the people who weren't training all year you know trying to better themselves like that's such a terrible thing i always think that's ridiculous when like someone who is, you know, a health and fitness professional whose job is to encourage people to, you know, engage in health and fitness, especially when we see the numbers of so many people being, you know, so many people just being inactive and not getting the recommended amount of exercise each week. Like, you should be doing everything you can to encourage people to embrace health and fitness at any month, January, July, December, doesn't really. matter anytime someone's trying to make a positive change and that should be

celebrated and anytime someone let's say you know ends up reducing the amount of effort or volume or frequency that they were trying to produce for a new habit like for me it's like I want to be able to do a podcast twice a week or three times a week that doesn't always go according to plan because life gets in the way and yes I know it's important to be consistent and it's probably better to be consistent than do one episode a week and be consistent with that all year then to be all over the place and like banging out three or four episodes and then only banging out one episode or no episodes but again inconsistently consistent sometimes it doesn't go the way we want it to and you'll have periods in your life where you have

time and the right environment and circumstances for you to really give something you're all and sometimes life is just not going to allow you them things and obviously you'll hear a lot of health and fitness professionals talking about this all or nothing mindset but there's context within that as well um you know if you can do a little bit every week that's great and then some weeks you're going to do a little bit more you think about it like a thermostat right sometimes you're going to turn the heat up and that's going to be you training three or four times a week consistently getting out for your walks eating your vegetables uh hitting your protein target getting to bed on time feeling absolutely amazing and then sometimes you life will just get in the way you'll have to

work late um you might have a newborn you might um get injured like there's you know you might go on holidays like i did and the routine that you had isn't going to be the routine you have anymore and you have to be able to adapt and change and also give yourself grace to say okay i wasn't able to be as consistent as i i wanted to but the most important thing i think and this is really really important whatever you're trying to pursue in 2026 is this kind of uh bounce back ability that we talk about in terms of a mindset it's like okay you know i missed them sessions because life got in the way you know i had to mind the kids and you know my girlfriend had to work or whatever it is okay bounce back ability is like okay but i know you know next week i'm gonna get back at it or i'm at least

going to get one session in and the the longer you leave it the harder it is to want to get back into something because you know you tell yourself that what's the point you call yourself a failure you have this negativity bias and you're beating yourself up um and it it prevents you from you know breaking through that kind of route that you're in and so you want to avoid that as much as possible obviously by just being like okay you know tomorrow I win tomorrow I win the next day you know I'm only one decision away from being back on track like that's really really helpful and but again even if even if you miss a month's training or you miss a month of doing them walks or them runs or whatever it is learning that new

language or um you know like for me recording the podcast like whatever the habit is that you're trying to make more frequent um even if you go a long time not doing the thing that you said you were going to do like you always have an opportunity to start again and it's not even starting again because you still have you know muscle memory to the thing that you were doing so it's not really starting again but it's given yourself great in saying that you know even if I've missed a month two months at three months you know didn't go any anywhere in terms of where I wanted it to go the mindset of just going again going again going again trying again and not just quitting and never doing it ever again like

that's so valuable like it's it's that you know meme that everyone sees it's like just when you're about to just when you're about to quit is when you're you know about to get that breakthrough um and it's you know that lad is digging the tunnel and he's like a centimeter away from like treasure and he's about to turn back because he hasn't seen any results or any progress or things that it's it's it's useless or it's pointless um but it never is it never is if you keep trying if you keep going um and i wanted to talk to you a little bit about new year's resolutions and about New Year's in general one thing that a lot of people do

obviously is shit on New Year's resolutions I'm actually a big fan of them I think they're great but there is a way to probably do them more productively and setting yourself up for

success and the research is quite clear on this is like a lot of people start in New Year's resolution by being like what can I give up what bad habits what am i doing wrong that i can you know restrict um so that i can feel better about myself i can feel more successful if i can look better all these things um they had this this large kind of one year study of a thousand and sixty six people who were making new year's resolutions what they found that people who had approach orientated goals um ended up being more

successful after a year versus people who had avoidant orientated goals um which basically what that means is you know people who looks to add things into their life um versus taking things out and restricting things tended to do better so like an adding in or approaching goal might be i'm going to you know ensure that i go for a 20 minute walk every day um or i'm going to make sure that i add in protein to each meal and i'm going to have three meals a day every day or that i'm going to to go to the gym three times a week for the next six weeks eight weeks 12 weeks um so you're adding things in versus taking things out like you know restriction i'm going to give up chocolate i'm going to give up sugar i'm going to give up alcohol and yes you can do them things and them

things can't have a positive impact on your life i'm not saying they can't a lot of people especially in nutrition space think that restriction is you know this bad word but like restriction is very very if you want to see success in any domain of your life, all right, but it's like how much restriction because if you're going to go from, you know, I'm not allowed to have carbs, I'm not allowed to have sugar, I'm not allowed to have fat, I'm not allowed to drink, I'm not allowed, you know, and you put all these barriers up that you have struggled to maintain in the past anyway. You might be just setting yourself up for failure and you might be just making the process more difficult than it needs. needs to be. And if you're miserable pursuing your goals, it just makes it more difficult to achieve them. Like someone who's having fun doing the same thing, doing the same process as you is obviously, you know, more dangerous, more capable, more likely to succeed. Someone's enjoying the process, enjoying training, enjoying being active, enjoying eating healthy, quote unquote healthy, whatever that means you know eating enough calories getting enough micro um macros and microbes and vitamins and

minerals into their diet drinking enough water and like people who are enjoying that process enjoying how they feel are going to be a lot more successful than someone who feels like they're you know pulling themselves out of the bed to go to exercise because they have to burn off calories because they need to punish themselves for look in a certain way and feel in a certain way versus someone who was trying to add things to their life to have a positive. impact and a positive outcome I mean and then people are probably going to be more successful the research suggests this what I've seen and throughout my years of training people suggests this so you know instead of like I'm

gonna stop scrolling and you could be like all right I'm gonna you know make sure I read 10 pages of a book at night now that's you focusing on adding something in rather than the pressure of you you know have putting up all these barriers and rules of, oh, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this. So looking to add in, I think, is going to be a very successful way for you to continue your new year's resolutions long past January, long past the first three months of the year, and hopefully maintaining that habit for the rest of the year, and that's where you're really going to see success. So that would be my piece of fitness and nutrition advice for you for the new

year is to focus on adding things in that is going to have a net benefit versus looking to restrict and punish and making things as hard as possible for yourself. You know, focus on abundance rather than scarcity. The next thing that I wanted to just touch on you real quick is New Year's Eve in general and the holidays in general. And I wish I was able to talk about this sooner, but obviously being a way I didn't get the opportunity to. But Alain the baton, uh, talks about this really really good and he talks about like this expectation that we have that you know sets us up to be miserable during the holidays and i found this myself throughout my life that i always felt like i was i wouldn't say depressed but definitely definitely

unhappy to a very intense point where i hated my birthday. I hated when my birthday would come around. Christmas, not so much, but definitely had times when I've had hard Christmases. And New Year's a lot as well. I've never really celebrated New Year's too much. And even though when I did go out, I wouldn't be happy. But birthdays and new years especially, I've found them quite difficult throughout my 20s, especially. And it's what Alain de Baton, I can't even pronounce his name, probably Alanda Baton, what he talks about is, you know, you're expected to be happy during New Year's. You're expected to be happy on your birthday.

And then when you aren't, that just, you know, creates this big void of disappointment, that expectation to be happy. and then you look around and you compare yourself to everyone else and everyone else is enjoying themselves and having fun and laughing and smiling and with their partners and with their loved ones and then you're you feel alone and you think that there's something wrong with you because of that and it's you know the the days when i have been happiest the days that i've been most content and when i found myself at peace is when there was no expectation to be happy there was no expectation to have a good life or have everything figured out or have the perfect moment we put all

these expectations on having the perfect moment and it essentially ruins it so I think a lot of people struggle with the holidays a lot of people struggle with New Year's a lot of people struggle with birthdays it's because of this expectation to be happy and when you're not happy then this creates disappointment frustration guilt maybe envy envy for other people and there's a great example of this in the film forest gump so you'll see this probably you'll see this on social media probably it'll probably get shared around but in the film forest gump lieutenant dan it like it's new year's eve and there's the count down and then you know it goes to new years and everyone's celebrating and then the camera turns to

Lieutenant Dan and you know you can just see the disappointment and sadness in his in his face he doesn't even want to be there and it's it's a good representation of you know everyone is happy but you and everyone has a great life but you and what you don't see in that scene but if you watched the film, you would know that by the end of the film, Lieutenant Dan finds peace eventually. And I think that's a good representation of, like, although you might be suffering now, that doesn't mean you'll suffer forever. And eventually, you may find peace. But what Lieutenant Dan had to do was he had to find peace after the frustration and the grief and the pain of obviously losing his legs and not um his life not working out the way he envisioned his

life working out like he he was supposed to die in war and he never did and then he was then he ended up becoming a cripple and that's not how he envisioned his life going but that's how his life turned out and he had to create acceptance over the life that he now lives and find new meaning in his life. And I think that's something that we all have to find because we all have a vision of how our life is going to turn out. And then when it doesn't turn out like that, that's when we, you know, start to really suffer. And then we look around that everyone else and how our life turned out and again, we suffer even more. And I think that's just part of being human. That's part of the human experience that we will suffer and life won't go the way we want

to. And I would just, I would just get you to reflect on your own year. and be like, okay, you know, maybe your 2025 didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, you know, maybe you had expectations for how life was supposed to turn out this year or the last few years and it hasn't turned out that way. And now when everyone's celebrating on New years, you're suffering. You're like, what's wrong with me? You're like, this isn't how life was supposed to be for me. But it is. And a lot of the time, then, if we can ride them moments of sadness, of grief, of envy, of frustration, of disappointment, you know, after that and without expectation for how life is going to go, you know, we do find meaning in different ways.

I do believe that to be true. I do believe that if everyone is to like ride them waves of hard times, you know, on the other side of that is acceptance and then peace and then maybe even happiness for for a short time and i think that's what that scene in far as gum shows is lieutenant dan finally finding peace and although he wasn't happy on new year's eve you know eventually he lived a really good life and i think you can as well. I think all of us can. So like, you know, maybe you're, maybe you went through a breakup this year. Or maybe you lost a loved one. Or maybe, you know, you started a business and it didn't work out the way you wanted to do. Or maybe, you know, you lost your job and you're, you don't

know what you're doing with your life at the moment. Or maybe you're just feeling alone at the moment. And you're not in the mood to celebrate, you know, and you're looking around. And you're looking around that everyone else being happy and you're feeling guilty for not feeling happy and not celebrating and that makes it harder but like lieutenant dan and like that scene it's you know when you ride them waves and and it create acceptance in your life eventually you can't just you can't create acceptance there and then when you're going through hard times you have to actually go through and we have to feel i think all the emotions that need to be felt and it might be years after when you finally, you know, have a life that you're happy with.

And I don't even like using the word happy, maybe just, you know, content, at peace. I think that can happen, but sometimes you just have to go through the suffering. So all I'm trying to say is that, like, if you're not feeling very, if you don't feel like you're in the mood to celebrate these holidays, that's okay. you're allowed to feel grief, feel sadness, feel loneliness. But I think meaning will come into your life eventually if you just ride the waves and hold on and not give up.

And I think that's an important message to give. Whether that's your New Year's resolutions and you're just trying to start a new habit, it's all about not giving up or whether that is in life when you're just not feeling like you belong here. I think to know that if I don't give up, you know, things will eventually take a turn. Things will get better.

I will find meaning I'll be able to accept this kind of strange life that, you know, I didn't expect. Because again, I didn't expect. That's the word there. It's them expectations that can ruin the fun of life and, you know, just having fun in general. and I said this I think I said this on a post today basically that you know some of the best nights out you'll ever have are the ones when you weren't expecting to go out like it ends up just becoming a random night out and it's like you had so much fun and you weren't expecting it like I love them nights out when when it's not expected you end up meeting up with friends and you end up going out and everyone's having a great time and it's like I was just a normal Wednesday it wasn't expecting this to happen and i think that's the thing about life it's like when you're not expecting it that's when or when you don't have expectations that's when life can be really great but when you're when you have this grand expectation about what everything is going to be like

and it doesn't live up to that or you know it's far worse than expected that's when that's a recipe for unhappiness so it's completely normal to not feel happy on your birthday it's completely normal to not feel happy at new years um but just know that it's just another day in the year and you know although tomorrow is the first of january and you will be starting your new year's resolutions and you'll be setting all these grand goals and i do it too i think it's a great thing to do but again it's just another day and i think if you just take every day as it is and just enjoy your day and enjoy the small moments as much as you can and appreciate the small things and really focus on gratitude and focus on the friends you have, the family that you have, the fact that you might have

a roof over your head and, you know, the fact that you can afford food and the fact that you might have an able body that you can run and walk and hike and lift weights and, you know, do all these amazing things. I think if you're grateful for the small things, you will have a wonderful life because it's it's the small things that make up your life and it's it's the days that make up your life so if you can enjoy your day you'll have a you'll have a good life and you can only take one day at a time so get through tonight and then from tomorrow by all means you know start your health and fitness journey start your self-development journey try to improve your life as much as you can but you've really improved

of your life by improving your day and I think the best way to have a good day is to be grateful for the small little moments in that day because that's what's that's what compounds to make a great life so look I just wanted to leave you with that message and to say happy new year and I hope we have plenty of great episodes where you know people a lot wiser than me coming on and I hope you get value out of what we're going to create in 2026. So happy new year and I'll see you in 2026.