The Uneducated PT Podcast - Ep. 145 Why Can't I Lose Weight?

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

Joined with Ger & Rob to talk about the difficult nature of navigating weight loss. 

The first one is biggest question of all, most common question of all, is why am I not losing weight? I will let you. You're eating too much. Yeah. Yeah. Well, agree it. Go into that. Nah.

I mean, effectively, is the very black and white, you're eating too much, you're not moving enough. But that's not necessarily helpful. but that is generally. Well, there's an angle to that you could discuss, which is, okay, like, why am I not losing weight? So a lot of people might start off their weight loss journey by trying to eat healthy, but eating healthy doesn't essentially mean being in a calorie deficit.

Yeah. And that's a common mistake people make, right? A lot of our health foods tend to be higher calories. Like, you see people, I find the biggest one is, like, going to coffee shops and getting javees. Yeah. Lovely, by the way. No, they're class. They are class.

But I'm not deluded that I'm putting chocolate and peanut butter into mine with a load of biscuit crumble and stuff. So it's big. There's a difference between eating your nutrient-dense food, healthy food versus high-caloric food that's going to drive you out of that deficit that everyone talks about. So like there is a difference between healthy food and processed food. But you could eat processed food and lose weight.

Yeah. And there is crossover, right? Like it's like if you're eating lots of vegetables and lots of fruit, they're probably going to be low in calories and there's going to be rich in nutrients. But then you can also get foods that are really rich in nutrients, but also really calorically dense. Like put it this way, I'm like obviously I'm going to Portugal next month.

And I probably want to shed a little bit of. body fat. It's like when we went over to Bali and I said I was I was going to go on a I was going to go on a fat loss phase for Bali and it's like 12 weeks later. I was like oh shit I forgot to start but I think this time I got to attempt it just a little a little cool but um I go out and I get my overnight oats every day and I go to like the little there's this little container and I get overnight oats and it's absolutely drenched in Bisk off. But like, so there's a huge difference between me having overnight oats and being like, oh, I'm getting my overnight oats so I'm really healthy, but it's absolutely drenched in Biscoff versus maybe me having a home and like, you know, having peanut butter or Biscoff that's, you know, controlled and not, you know, maybe weighing it out, maybe not, maybe just, you know, using a low calorie syrup or whatever it is. So it's like it's still essentially a healthy breakfast, whether it's the overnight oats outside or ones that I make a home. But I'm, I'm more in control of.

the calories then if I'm having it at home, right? But also, also being honest with yourself. Like, I even caught myself doing it yesterday. I was, I think I can't remember what I had for lunch. I made some kind of, made some kind of chicken thing. And I was like, geez, I haven't eaten a lot today. And then I was like, Jerry, you had six slices of toast with jamming this morning. Yeah.

Like, standing at the island. And now there's nothing wrong with doing it. But it is, the idea is like, everything counts. yeah everything counts for like that that little scoop that little like if you're loading peanut butter into your overnight oats when you make them at home that end of the spoon

that you take another mouthful of it's fine do it but be honest that you're doing it yeah see and this is the thing it's like just because being honest yourself doesn't mean being hard on yourself like it's it's very normal

to um like not realize how many calories you've had throughout the day. There's that great study. It's like calorie amnesia. It's like you eat throughout the day and you kind of forget what you had. And then there's that great study of the dietitians who like, they monitor dietitians tracking their calories and they found like even the professionals were like 150 to 300 calories off every day. So even if the professionals can't be

accurate with their calorie counting, you're not going to be accurate either. So if you aren't losing weight in a calorie deficit or like or eating health. healthy, you have to come to the conclusion that, well, I'm over, I'm underestimating the amount of calories that I'm consuming. And instead of being hard on yourself about that, just get curious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then there was another thing that you said, like, even in terms of, like, being honest with yourself, I think a lot of it is kind of weekend sabotage as well. It's like, you know, it's it's it's the, it's the common thing of yeah, I'm being good. But Monday to Friday. Thursday. Yeah. I always say Monday to Thursday because like, yeah, you know, nothing wrong with it,

but you always have that Friday night takeaway or you have that Friday night out. Yeah. Which then leads to, Joe, the next day hung over. You're eating all of whatever. And it's the fact that we're like, well, I was good, Joe, Monday to Thursday. Yeah. But you overdo it at the weekend. Like, I'm not deluded that when I go for a load of pints and a night.

toasty outside. I don't know what I'm putting in, but I know it's a bit. I know it's a nice bit. So, like, I'm not going to give up my points at the weekend. And there's also that big kind of red flag when people say, oh, I'm good Monday to Thursday, because you know, as a professional,

you know in the back of your head. Oh, so what they're saying is they're probably being really restrictive Monday to Thursday and they're probably just going ham Friday to Sunday. Unleash hell at the weekend. Yeah. Because if you're... Even if on the weekend,

even if on the weekend they're like taken into account that takeaway and the few beers after, if you end up a little bit too tipsy and then you do end up reaching in the cupboard, having a few snacks and then the morning after you have like a bit of a hearty of breakfast, even if you feel like you've just isolated those calories into a 12-hour period, you might be like, it was only a 12-hour period. It kind of affected it that much, but it's how much you actually consume in that period that matters, isn't it? Yeah. So you could, yeah.

You could be great over the weekend and Monday to Thursday, but that five to 12 hours could be a bit of a sabotage. Yeah. And it's so easy to just, like, you could be on point Monday to Thursday. You could be on point on the weekend. But like even dependent on like your height and your size, let's say like if you're a five two woman, like it might be just the one bottle of wine or whatever it is

or the two bottles of wine and one meal that tips you from being in a calorie deficit to back into maintenance calories. You have to take the average over the week and over the month. It goes with your movement then as well because if you're good Monday to Thursday but you've over-restricted calories, you also train those four days you're being good.

And then Friday to Sunday, you don't move at all. And then the calorie count goes through the window, that's also going to impact you as well. Like we don't, we always say don't, don't exercise to counter, counteract what you've eaten. But there's nothing wrong with going for a nice fucking walk if you're going to having a big takeaway or something that's not your usual. Well, here's the thing, right?

Let's say, let's say your meals are pretty consistent and maybe you only have a takeaway on the weekend. And it's like, okay, you are doing a lot of things right in terms of your nutrition. nutrition, but the scales isn't going down. But also, you're quite inactive. Like, you work at a desk eight hours a day and then you're not really, and you might go to the gym maybe two or three times a week, which is like an hour, three hours out of the whole week, isn't a lot in terms of activity. It's great in terms of your resistance training, but it isn't a lot in terms of activity. It's like maybe the only thing that you need to do then it's focused on going for a walk every night after your

meals. Like that could be, instead of trying to restrict more food and you're already, someone who is on low calories because you're short. Like I think the best thing to do for that kind of person is like just go for an hour walk after your meal every night and obviously you'll feel better. It's probably better for digestion. You're increasing your energy expenditure instead of trying to reduce your calories. I know you shouldn't try to out-exercise a bad diet, but if your diet is pretty decent anyway and you're not seeing the scales move, like a walk an hour or night is going to have it

Also, you're going to be in a better mood as well. Yeah, yeah, headspace. It's an underrated activity. You'll see people say, don't they go to the gym? Like, a big one is people say, I go to the gym three, four times a week. I'm eating okay. I'm not noticing a difference. But you spend eight hours a day sitting at a desk.

You spend your hour in the gym sitting down. Don't me wrong, sitting down doing your bench, doing leg extensions, doing whatever. That's great. but you'd be surprised what a half an hour a walk a couple of days a week would make a huge difference in what you're trying to do and going back to what you said before about honesty as well yeah you could be going to the gym for an hour a day every day or three times a week but what are you actually doing in the gym are you just there are you just chatting are you resistance training all of the things all of those things are good like resistance training cardio chatting all of those things

perks of the gym, but are you actually burning calories while you're in the gym? Are you tearing muscle? You need to be honest with that. And also, if you're just weighing yourself once a week, be conscious of what you're consuming the night before or the morning before you weigh yourself, because we've only said weight on the scale. That doesn't mean body fat. So if we're having a salty carbary meal the day before and drinking loads of water,

maybe one morning you go to the toilet before you weigh yourself, whether that's number one or number two, and you could have lost a pound or two just from getting rid of something. So if you're able to weigh yourself throughout the week, not necessarily obsessively, but if you're able to average your weight across the week rather than just Monday morning every week.

Well, I think that's a really good point because when someone says, why am I not losing weight and then you have a conversation with them and it's like, okay, well, how often are you weighing yourself as well? it might be that they're doing it sporadically and that's going to be an issue as well psychologically. Like it's either probably weigh yourself every day and take the average or don't weigh yourself at all and just see how clothes fit. But if you're just like I'm weighing myself today and then I weighed myself like 10 days later and you had a salty meal and you have water retention, you might be losing body fat.

But the scales has told you now that you've actually gained weight and now you've, you know, you're going crazy because of that and your second. guessing the process that you're that you're doing you're your your second guessing in your diet your second guessing your training and your second guessing uh you know your activity level you might be doing all them things right but because the scale says you've gone up even though realistically you know you're going in the right trajectory and it's because it there's inconsistency in your your metric measuring so you could do it in the morning or the evening and that varies as well yeah The post-shanigans weigh in, I find is a big one when people do that. They overindulge, they go on and night out, they get their two in the morning cabab and stuff of that.

And for some reason, when people are hung over and depressed, they're like, I better weigh myself and see what damage I've done. And then they see that number. And then they're, John, two days back to their normal routine. and they're like, right, I normally weigh myself in the morning before I'm doing this, I'm not losing weight and they're not factoring in the huge amounts of water weight gained

from one night. Like put down all your drinks, all the food you've had, all the salt, all the meals that you eat the day after, the reduced amount of activity because of that. But for some reason we like to just, that number mightn't change for ages.

Your whole body could change. Yeah. And that's such an important point, as well and I think I suppose if someone is on a weight of someone wants to lose weight like what what's your opinion on you know scale weight and and weighing yourself daily or not weighing yourself at all or weighing yourself sporadically because like you said when someone says they want to lose weight what they're probably saying is obviously I want to feel more confident than my clothes in my you know body composition and you know for some people some of the times it's like your the scale weight could stay the same but because you've been resistance training and and

having a high protein diet. You know, your body composition could look completely different but you may be, you know, similar in terms of scale weight depending on the person. And, you know, maybe in that regard, sometimes it's like, or scale weight

may be irrelevant to what you actually want underneath what you're saying that you want. Yeah. I kind of feel like weighing yourself and taking progress pitches and things like that can actually be kind of detrimental. a lot of time. If it was possible to stand on a set of scales, it record you wait and you don't see it. You just do it every morning, you have a look at it, and then every month maybe you're

allowed to see a graph of what's going on. Something like that would be pretty cool. Because otherwise you are just, you're giving a number more meaning than it needs than it deserves. And also the image side of things. Obviously, image is important for a lot of people mentally, well, for everyone, to be honest, everyone wants to look good. But focusing on, oh, I've got a little bit there, I've got a little bit there. Just obsessing over that. You're not seeing the bigger picture and you're not focusing on how you feel, which is kind of what you were getting at then.

Yeah, my biggest issue is that if you step on the scales and it says you've gone up and wait and like we said, that's water retention, or maybe it is even you went ham on the weekend and like it's a bit of water retention, a bit of body fat. If it derails you from all the other things that you're doing well, which are going to be the catalyst to change anyway. Like, okay, you've trained three times a week. You know, you got out, you went out and went for a walk every night. You know, you focused on, you know, having a high protein breakfast now,

whereas before you were just kind of running on fumes. You know, like you're doing, and you're in a better mood now that you're training. And you go home and you're, you know, a more pleasant person to be around. And you're actually feeling better. Like you feel like you've more energy. You're sleeping better at night because you're wearing your body out. And you're waking up earlier. and you know you're getting sunlight on your face and you're doing all these health seeking behaviors

that is going to be the catalyst to change in terms of probably weight loss anyway weight loss may be a byproduct to that but because you're so hyper focused on this one metric of scale weight now you're disregarding everything that you've done well for the last week two weeks for the last month and that could be enough for you to say oh well this isn't working so i'm going to stop even though you are 100% going in the right direction because of all these health seeking behaviors that you're incorporating. But again, if you only look at one metric of success and not going to spread yourself out, you know, it's very easy to look at yourself as a failure then when you're not failing, you're doing all these great things. Yeah, exactly. I normally say to people when I'm

starting off with them, I was, I'm like, if, if you progressed in whether it's strength, fitness and you felt more confident happier in your body and the scale didn't budge would it make a difference and that's when you that's when you start to realize that that number doesn't mean as much as you give it like if you say to someone if you were in the body that you are happy with and the scales did the exact same way what difference does it make what difference does it make I say the same thing about like I jump in and out of wanting to do different fat loss stages and stuff of that. There's good times. There's bad times.

I could look at not having lost weight in the last month and a half as a bad thing. I could also look at the fact that I can go out and run 14K now, my shoulders back to full strength. I've gotten stronger. I'm feeling better. No, it does. I, like, they're all the. positives. That's,

and if I focus just on the scale, I'd be fucking miserable. With, like, I don't feel that positively about using the scales, like I mentioned,

but also I do, I don't want to demonize it because. No. No. Why people want to see it, and it makes sense for people to want to,

because it's one of the only things that you can see that is a quantitative value that gives it an objective meaning. Whereas looking at, yourself, you have to, like if you look at yourself in the mirror, like lighting, how you feel, what you've drunk before, what mood you're in, whether you're hungover, whatever it is that's influencing you. It's all quantitative. Sorry, qualitative. You've got to, you've got to apply

meaning to it, whereas looking at an actual quantity is a safe measurement. You don't have to interpret it. It is just a number. So it makes sense that people want to see that change, because that's the thing that they can numerically control in a way. I suppose it's that we all agree that it's one factor alongside a load of other factors. It's not the only factor for your progress. And that's why I actually am such a big believer in coaching because what a person needs in that instance when they are second guessing themselves is actually reassurance. And you get that from like if you're just thinking in your head, what's working, what's not working,

you drive yourself crazy but when you can kind of communicate that with someone and they can kind of feed it back to you and also make you see the big picture the big game plan rather than you know the one move it's like okay yes the scales hasn't moved but um these are all the reasons that the scales may not have moved and these are all the things that you're doing well so you know when we spread it out and we actually look at the bigger picture we see we realize that you are moving in the right trajectory but the problem then is if if If people don't have someone to help them see clarity, then that's when they start to kind of self-sabotage

because they feel like it's not working. Have you read that book? I can't remember the name of it now, but it's a chimpanzee something. Basically, it's a book that I've only just started listening to it, but it's basically breaks your brain down into, there's the human, the chimpanzee. The chimpanzee.

That's the one, yeah. Yeah. And basically, when you see that scale, your chimpanzee goes absolutely mental. and just starts going, I've fucked everything up, I've made a mistake, I feel rubbish, I feel emotional. If you're hung over, obviously it's going to be in complete control. You need... What's it called your chimpanzee brain?

It's basically the emotional step part of your brain. I like that. I'm not saying that now when I start to go a little bit like, you know, bold or wild. And let's say I have a couple of drinks of me else. Sorry, that was my chimpanzee brains. So when you're drunk and feral, it's your ape brain. It's the emotional part of your brain, but you need almost the coaches in that situation,

the human part of your brain that's like thinking logically and going, actually, it's not that bad. Let's try and rein it in a little bit. Yeah, that makes sense. And that's not just for weight loss. I think that's for general life as well. Like I'm like, oh my God, my business is falling apart or my business isn't moving in the direction.

It's just static. I'm a loser. Let's make a podcast. to give to my clients. Do you know? So it's like, but I think you could say that in any domain of life, whether it's fitness, business, relationships. It's like you start to narrow in on one little thing and you're like, oh no, I'm doing

terrible in life. And then you need to kind of sit down with someone and they make you realize that. Like, because we all have our blind spots, don't we? There's a tranquilizer and put into a patent cell. Ladies and gentlemen. Okay, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me go on to the next one, which is also a common phrase you'll hear people say. And we can kind of break this down as well. So people say things like, why do I bingey or fall off track every time I'm doing well?

Chimpanzee. Explain. What is, it's kind of the, yeah, the emotions taken over. that's a really strong, like your emotional part of your brain is a very strong, um, unreasonable thing. And you need a lot of, um, what's the word? It's not resilience. I guess resilience in a way, but self-control.

There's a word I'm looking for. Emotional regulation. Is that as well? There's just something else. There's a kind of battery that you've got. As you go through the day, you've got, you've got, something will. Anyway, as you go through the day, you are resisting things.

You're resisting temptations. You've kind of, you might walk down the street and see someone that you're not supposed to look at, look at them. You're not supposed to buy something, you don't buy it. You see something you want to eat that you don't need that actually might make it for worse. You don't eat it. So when you get home, is it self-will?

What's the word? Willpower. Willpower. Thank you. Basically, your battery is drained. And shut up, man,

math teacher. I thought you were thinking of something more complex. That's why I did. Yeah, I was just like, maybe it can't be willpower. Yeah,

my brain only does complex. It doesn't do simple stuff. That's okay. That's okay. But no, yeah, it's decision fatigue really, isn't it?

That's the one I was looking for. Thank you. So when you're human part of your brain, that I'm going to keep referencing this book, but when that's exhausted, the chimps going like,

I can really do some damage here. And like your emotions just take over and you've got no logical thought process anymore or very limited. Yeah, what do you think the solution to that is, let's say if someone is constantly in their terminology, their self-sabotage and, you know, they're emotionally eating

and they have that, I've blown it now, mentality. And because, probably because of, you know, the situation that you said is that they're making all these decisions throughout the day. Is it to kind of simplify their life a little bit? Do you think their life might be a little bit too hectic? I think you kind of need to, you need to analyse your day as well that leads up to that situation or the couple of days before. Like if it's, it all depends, is it, are you binge eating, sabotaging because you're over-restricting during the week? Are you binge eating?

because it's an emotional response to stress at work or stress in life and is it you fill your house what's the one I saw the other day it's like I didn't buy a lot of snacks because I always overindulge in the evening

so I bought all these healthy foods and I'm now looking around my house going I have nothing to eat it all depends on what the situation like I think myself like Josh Phil has talked about the emotional eat and still do it There's different triggers here and there.

What I do find for me when it comes to emotional eating is having things in the house that are easy to make, easy to eat, so pre-made meals in a freezer, or certain types of snacks that I can put together that will satisfy that emotional craving, but it also not make me feel like shit after doing it. Yeah. And also we have to remember that like, you know, when people say, oh, I wasn't good last night, I ended up bingey. And a lot of times it's like most, most of the general public don't understand what binge eating actually is. And they're not actually binge eating because binge eating, you know, you are, it's an out of, out of body experience.

And they're, they're just overeating or they just had a couple of chocolate bars more than they usually would. And they, because they have this poor relationship with food, they're seeing. it as some like catastrophizing thing when it's not and it's like oh yeah maybe they had a stressful day in work maybe they had too many calls maybe they had too many meetings maybe they didn't have any relief that day and the only relief they got was that chocolate bar and like yeah it's emotionally and because we are humans and we have emotions and the only way you get rid of emotional eating is to not have emotions and that's not going to happen so sometimes it's like under it's sometimes it's just improving your relationship with food and understand that yeah you're not being

eating you just had a stressful day and you had something for comfort and you're allowed to have something for comfort and then maybe if you're overdoing that comfort eating and that's causing excess body fat over time it's like okay you need to find it's it doesn't mean that you'll never emotionally again or comforty but you need to find a substitute that will do the job on top of that so it might be okay my my stress relief is going out for that walk or my stress relief is doing a training session or my stress relief is, I don't know, like going out with your husband or your wife or, I don't know, whatever. The majority of situations that people like call binge eating now, I've noticed from coaching or like listening to like friends talk about, normally they've eaten a small breakfast or they've skipped breakfast.

They haven't had time for lunch that have a long day. All of a sudden it's just six o'clock in the evening. and they haven't eaten most of the day. They're absolutely starving. They don't want the things in the fridge that they know are going to help keep them on track. So they go to a press. They eat the stuff that's easy to just grab.

It's got a high calorie count. So it will eventually drive you out of that deficit quite fucking easily. And they're still hungry later on. Yeah. And your decisions, you always make poorer decisions on an empty stomach anyway.

Yeah. Like I got sushi the other weekend. And if someone saw the amount of sushi I got, they might go, oh, that's binge eating. I was like, no, I had big breakfast, went for a run, didn't really have a lunch, and I knew I was getting sushi. I knew what I was getting. I don't look at that as binge eating. I wasn't emotionally eating.

I was emotionally eating it because it's fantastic. Yes. Well, I always find that it's, I always make, I won't call them, well, they are like the decisions that I didn't want to make in terms of my nutrition or reactive decisions. It always comes from when I either skip breakfast or skip lunch. Like if I'm regularly a little, if I'm, if I'm eating, if I'm preparing to eat like half an hour before, you know, I get hungry because I'm in, I have structure. Like I eat breakfast at the same time. I eat lunch at the same time. I eat dinner at the same time.

My nutrition is always on point in terms of, you know, keeping my caloric intake down, getting the right amount of macros. I just feel like I'm like structure is such a it's for I think for a lot of people it's less of a no willpower or no self-control or you know emotionally eating or

binge eating whatever you want to call it it's more it's like you're not organized Richard with your day yeah you know yourselves if you have three if you have three solid meals a day you don't over snack you don't like

so if you if you get it right, if you understand a certain level of the macros you need and you actually hit that target three, maybe four times a day depending on how you eat, you won't overindulge in other areas, you won't be able to. You snack because you want to eat

that thing. When you had the three males you snap because you go, ah, do you know what? I really would like a cream egg and I'm going to enjoy that pre-meg. Whereas when you don't have that you go fuck I need that cream egg. That wasn't enough. I now need a box of cream eggs to keep me going. Yeah, that's the difference between, okay, it's a physical hunger or emotional hunger. It's like or, you know,

cravings, whatever it is, because like an apple isn't going to serve your cravings. But like, if you're, if you're physically hungry, you can hop off 10 Easter eggs. And that's the difference. It's like, and I would always say that if I've, if I've boxed off my meals for the day, if I've had them three meals, that breakfast, lunch and dinner and I've had them in a, and I've stuck to my kind routine in my structure. I feel even better than having a snack because I know, you know, like I'm having this snack. I'm in control of it.

It's not physical hunger. I just need, you know, something to hit the cravings. And, you know, I've hit all my meals for the day. So I know I'm, I'm pretty good in terms of, you know, I'm not under fueling, right? And I suppose that's the difference between, you know, if you're, if you're hitting your targets in terms of making sure that. you're fueling yourself and you're achieving that physical hunger. And if you want to have a snack or you want to have a chocolate bar,

like that should, you probably need that to, like the best way to get rid of your cravings is to give in to them, right? Like I don't think you should be trying to fight that all the time because that's how it's like, okay, right, I'm restricting, restricting this chocolate and now I want chocolate even more. And because I've restricted it, now I crave it more, because I crave it and then I give in. and then I have that

fucking mentality and it's like now I try to eat as much of it as I can because I've put this kind of rope of control around that certain field yeah it's like you're kind of

creating tension in an elastic band rather than just going oh do you know what we'll release that tension and just it'll be calm you keep on pulling it going no I'm resistant I'm resistant and then things just explode

it's made me think of Easter eggs right so right Easter eggs have been in shops for about the last two plus months right And I've always had this notion that I'm like, there's a load of different Easter eggs I want to get, right?

And I want to have them then over the coming weeks well beyond Easter. So I've been seeing them left, right and centre for the last seven days. So I'm like, I'm going to go in tomorrow, Saturday, I'm going to buy a pile of them. I've now kind of realised that it may not be a very good idea for Jar to go buy 14 Easter eggs on a weekend because chances are I'm going to smash through loads of them. over the bank holiday weekends because I have restricted them.

I could have got an Easter egg a month and a half ago and had one. It's still chocolate and makes no difference. Now I've built it up in my head that if I have 15 Easter eggs sitting in my house, I'm going to, I'm going to massacre them. Yeah, I think environment plays a huge role as well. It's like you can set your environment up for success without being like, you know, all these types of food are banned from the house because I've put these rigid rules on myself versus kind of a mindset well i'm just going to make sure i've set my

environment up for success and not habitual over eating it's like i'm going to make sure that there's a little bit more protein in the fridge and you know i'll have some you know i'll have some snacks in there but you know i don't need to i don't need to like have this thing where like there's there's high chloric foods at hand, at arm length, at every, every room and every turn. Because, you know, you know, we are creatures of habit and that's just going to make it more, more, you're, you're essentially creating an obisogenic environment in your house as well as the entire world. And I think that's where you need to, you need to set your environment on the days where you're feeling good about yourself and you've, you are like satiated, you're feeling good rather than

just going, oh, feel good today. I can do that again. easy and then to tomorrow not having a good breakfast and then just every like chaos just ensuing if on that day you feel good try and set yourself a plan up and maybe like a fallback plan just in case at least then you can kind of go oh and you know that that work today I can trust my I can trust myself a little bit better I'll do that again yeah it's all self-trust really myself like I don't have any snacks in the house but it's just because I don't think about buying them. Like, if I really crave something, I'll just go down to the shop and I'll get it.

And I don't feel guilty about it. And I know if I got down to the shop to get it it's because I really, really want it. And sometimes it's like, I'm just not arsed and I just don't get it. But then if I go to my dad's house, he has like biscuits everywhere and I'm just like, all right, let's get a couple of biscuits and a cup of tea. So...

Just a cup of tea and few biscuits. Yeah. I do that when I go home. Like, I've got a sweet two from my dad. And like, he's got a sweet two to the point that like he'll put a tart in the fridge and he'll leave a knife in the pack. It's ready there to cut away. But like he's got buns in different places. I know all his hiding spots.

And because I walk in the door, I'm like, I know this bucker has gone to the market and got all these different like little cakes and stuff with that. And I'm like, so I go in there and you start picking away at them. And he's like, what are you doing? I'm just looking. Just looking. And you're walking away with a handful of everything. Here's a question for you then.

Right. So say if that happens, let's say someone in. their eyes, binge eats or overeats, and they are on a weight loss journey. How did they recover from that binge episode or that overeating without spiraling? I would suggest not trying to view it as I need to recover from this. Just that happened, what's next? Not trying to like go, I've had a rebound and I need to rebound the other way to a certain extreme. Just go, okay that happened let's just

wait a little bit all the energy kind of sink in let's have a logical next step yeah do you find that people right they ovary

and then their logic is okay well on Monday we're going to start again and then they're going to undery 500 calories on Monday yeah

yeah just just move on don't don't start again just go back to your routine unless you have to change that routine that's also something you need to look at as well

because it is the whole analysis thing and being a little bit of critical of what you're doing. If your plan is working away fine and it is a good plan, you ask someone else, you have someone have a look at it or you're honest about it and you've just overindulged, then just go back to normal. Don't change anything, just forget about it.

That's such a good point because like let's say, right, let's say your coach has given you, you're on 2,200 calories or 80,000. hundred calories or 2,000 calories or whatever it is. And then you end up like having a weekend where, you know, you let the reins off. You're having kebabs. You're having McDonald's. You're having all the good stuff.

Like the last thing you want to do then is go come in on Monday and be like, right, I've, because I've over at so many calories, I need to be on 1,200 calories. Like that's not going to work. That's just going to be, all right, now you're going to under eat again. And then you're going to have, you're going to be hungry. You're going to have physical hunger and you're going to make poorer food choices. You just go straight back onto the calories you were assigned and, you know, basically just kind of be curious about your weekend. Okay, why did that happen?

Is there any way that I can improve my structure? So, you know, I'm a little bit more in control of my food decisions at the weekend. But yeah, it's like if you ovary and then you undery and then you ovary and then you're going into this kind of yo-yo dieting cycle, which isn't going to be good. I also find, I also find the over-correction after an indulgence from. joy makes you then overindulge from a negative space and it impacts you worse. So like if you go... Explain that. If you go, let's say you have a night, you're going for dinner with mates, you're all going

having drinks. And you do overindulge because you are with friends or family and food is about a community experience, enjoying it. And majority of times when you go out, you're not eating some shit salad that's going to keep you in your deficit. You're going to eat high caloric food. But you had a great time. So then on Monday you decide, well, do you know what?

I probably did the dog in it. I'm going to overcorrect. You reduce your calories down loads. And you're good Monday to Thursday, Monday to Friday. And then because you're so, you've restricted so much during that week, you're then absolutely starving at the weekend and you have that moment where your willpower dips. And then you overindulge because you're absolutely, you end up beating yourself. up more. And I find

when you keep doing things, the overcorrection after a joyful experience, it leads to more overindulgences where it's sad, emotional, overeating and you'll beat yourself up more and it'll be harder and harder to get back to

a normal, get back to normality. Yeah. Don't be reactive, be proactive. Sorry, I should have to get that out there. It was rattling around with my brain. Go ahead. With the label overindulging as well,

I think that's too loosely, just in general, too loosely used. So like the example you gave of going out with family and having this nice meal, having the drinks, if that is like a one-off occasion that happens every few months,

it's not overindulgent. It's you living with your family. And that shouldn't be labeled as anything. Yeah. If you're doing that, every night or every weekend and you can see it's going to have a negative impact on your health and everything.

Yes, we maybe determine that as like overindulging because it is. But yeah, just having that night where you or that day where you have lots of food, you have lots of fun, you have lots of drink, you don't hydrate as well, don't have as much protein, don't move as much. Except that's going to have a negative impact

on the day or the days coming. But it wasn't an overindulgence it was you were having a nice time with family yeah that's my that's good one there's another aspect of this as well that we didn't talk about so like why did why do I keep falling off why do I keep bingey and why do I keep self-sabotaging and then you could also think of it in terms of maybe like from a psychological perspective which Rob you could touch on is like you have that fear of success or that kind of identity shift is I'm no longer that person now who, I don't know, goes to food for, you know, that is the thing that I would always go

for. That is the thing that gives me joy. That's the, you know, that's going to be a difficult aspect of it as well that people don't really consider. It's, it's almost, you know, part of your identity. So if you went to eat a chocolate bar every night, that is your joy every night. and if that stops happening, you've removed an aspect of joy. Is that kind of what you mean? Yeah, well, I'm the person who, you know, overeats. I'm the person, I'm the, you know, the, you know, the feud. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I can imagine that's a difficult thing, especially if you're used to hearing it from yourself, mainly in your head, but from other people going, yeah. Oh, so and so, elite that, oh, we'll finish that off. And then as soon as you're not the person that will finish that meal, people look at you differently. They might be disappointed because that was part of their expectation. of how the night would go, whatever it is.

Yeah. Jay, you could even, you could even touch on that in terms of, okay, like, you could, maybe even the identity of,

okay, the big rugby player. I is a big boy, he'll eat that meal. He'll finish, he'll, he'll finish his play or whatever it is. Like,

that can be, like, I'm, I'm the food guy in the group, you know, like, and not just that he'll finish that. It's,

so I do love my food. I do get joy from food. I went to there's this little brewery inside in Limerick and they make these toasties and I wanted to go in and try them out

and I went with a few people big cheesy beautiful fucking toastie I was in heaven having it and they come with a load of like I don't know crisps or something on the side of it but like a big mound of them

and I looked at them I was like right I've already had a bit of a breakfast I'm going to be eating later on today this is a big hefty chicken cheese stuff and toasty and I'm having a couple little craft beers. I don't really need those crisps.

I don't really need them. And everyone at the table was shot that I had left them behind. And I kind of just slid them over. And I was like, well, you can have them if you want them. So I don't need them. And like, it is that kind of thing. It's funny that people will, I don't get it at home, right?

At home, they're probably more mindful of what you're eating, even though it's probably where all the food relationships started. It started anyway. But people will, I'll get it. offered spoons of everyone else's food. Now that is more of a he'll enjoy it. I want to see what he thinks of it.

There are times where he out for meals and you'll see someone has a fish something. You might be like, yeah, do you know what? I'm still kind of hungry. I want that. No, it's okay to do that as well. I always think it has to go back to the being honest about it. Like, did you get a meal out with people that you actually enjoy? You know, like I don't want things.

I'm trying to behave myself and then there's a tray of chips left there and you're the one who was eating the salad but you're there eating the end of all the chips because you're absolutely ravenous. I remember speaking to someone on the podcast before he was an emotional eating coach and he used to suffer with binge eating

and he was a big boy when he was younger essentially and I remember him speaking about he had to trace his identity kind of back to childhood and what it was was he used to get ignored when he was a kid and then when he would go to the chipper um you know the the chipper lady would always you know give him a smile and chat to him and he associated then going to the chipper and um getting food as you know almost connection of a of a you know someone sees me

and and uh and he had to trace it all the way back to that and and and essentially do the psychological work of, you know, I don't need fields to be my identity to be seen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get that. I like that. And it's, I would imagine like that's, well, like, obviously we're talking about like the more practical work of, you know, making sure your, your feel true today so you don't make reactive decisions and make sure you're having enough protein because that's going to keep you satiated and, you know, maybe like having a, having a meal out every now and

again isn't a big deal and you just need to give yourself grace. But then there's also kind of, there's also that side of weight loss that. It's very deep rooted. The deeper workings of the brain when it comes to that stuff, it's, it's the whole, the whole eat less, move more.

That's why it became a movement because it was just simple and straightforward. Like, just move fucking loads and don't eat and you'll lose weight. But like, I, I think we talked, I did a talk for your clients once and I was looking, and it was actually quite fun to look, back at it and see where all the negative impacts towards my relationship with food came from. You know, from the way you were eating or what was told was good or bad and the dopamine hit, like as well as being neurospeicy, that dopamine hit I get from eating certain types of

food or when I'll eat it. the big we would be shocked how much you're influenced by growing up I noticed now my parents

now put Greek yogurt with their dessert rather than what they used to ice cream or anything like that and I found a tub of ice cream

in the freezer and my dad was like no we can't have that now it's because it's bad and I was like there's not a fight

I'm going to take on today not today not fucking today but I just stood there and I was like but I having this scoop of fucking ice cream.

But that's such a good point about how deeply food is rooted in our psyche. Like, think about it. If you went through your whole childhood going to McDonald's as for birthday parties and with your family and you associate McDonald's of a place of comfort and

happiness and then you get to an adult and you're trying to lose 20 kilos and you're asking yourself, why did I choose the McDonald's over the salad? Yep. And there's another point as well that I wanted to make as well in terms of all right, self-sabotage and identity is, if you're someone who is a people, please,

or like a yes person, it's like, oh, yeah, you know, Carl will always go out for the drinks or Carl will always go eat out with me or, you know, Rob will always, you know, hang out with me. And, you know, you're on a, you're on a diet, and they ask you to go to Eddie Rockets and you say, yeah, because you don't want to upset that person because that person is your friend or Jared, that person asks you to go out for a couple of drinks

and, you know, you're trying to, you're trying to stay in at the moment because you want to get in a better routine and you know that alcohol if you're going to night out is going to probably disrupt your routine you probably have to train in the morning you probably have your meals prepped but i i have to i have to go out with that person like that's a big aspect of it as well that because you're you're essentially changing your routine and your life for this goal now and you're always been used to you know i'll eat what i want when i want and i'll go out and i'll enjoy myself and i'll have the drinks and i'll have the food and now you have to, you do have to put restrictions on yourself to a degree.

That's a big change for people and it's difficult to say no to them things. You're, it's, as I say, you're not just saying no to yourself. You do have to say no to like, I'll take myself out for pints and food. So like I've enjoyed doing it my own, but like there are times then when you do try to set that, like, I'm not doing this, I'm not doing that. And you will have to say no to lots of people. Yeah. You will, like, I've never enjoyed, because I'd done it before, like, in the height of the eating disorder, I was the one that brought a Tupperware to different places.

I might have to go outside and don't eat something or not eat when you're in different places. And that's a whole other level. Yeah. But there are times where you just have to take yourself out of the situation. Yeah. Like, I won't meet you there. I'll meet you later. Yeah.

It's difficult to set boundaries. you're setting boundaries for yourself and setting boundaries from people but then you also don't want to be so restrictive that you go the opposite way of things either yeah

like I have thought I have thought about going on a dry spell going on a dry spell and I see Robb smiling I have thought about going on a dry spell and getting back into my meal prepping a little bit more and then at the same time

I'm like, I'm also quite happy with the way training is going, the way business is going. I enjoy that couple of points down inside in the pub, especially like I said to someone, I was like, if I have to go run 10K, I deserve two points. I know we say we shouldn't say that. So I deserve something or I deserve food. But like, it's, it's okay to have those little things that bring you joy. Like, Rob said about the chocolate bear. Like, you don't have to cut it.

you don't have to cut it out to make that progress but you have to be you have to be more regimented then well the thing is it's like we all know that you're allowed to have joy through food and drink but if you're someone who can't set boundaries

and not setting boundaries is causing you distress from a health perspective or just even your mental health because now you're in a position where your health is deteriorate and you're not comfortable in your body you don't feel well you feel lethargic, you feel sluggish. Like how do people, how do people set them boundaries? Like,

what's the first step for someone who is, you know, used to being the person who goes out for food or goes out for drinks, but now they want to take on this kind of health journey and they're finding it difficult? I think just to approach it with almost false confidence or false arrogance to begin with and just go, like you mentioned about, um, Tupperware before, I used to, so there's someone that I know in Cornwall who used to turn up to meals and stuff with Tupperware because they were doing bodybuilding shows and things. And they'd get negatively judged for that. And I initially thought when I heard that, I was like, oh, why would you do that?

Like, you're ruining the experience by not using, like using the menu as well. But actually, they're still turned up. They're still with people. They're still socialising. then assuming they're not going, oh, are you sure you want to eat that? I'm eating my salad. As long as they're not doing that,

they're just turning up and they're socialising. If you turn it with your head held high, the person that you always have been around other people, even if first once or twice, they go, oh, you're not having anything from the menu. Like if that happens and you just go, no, no, no, I'm all right as I am, and you just present yourself as you are, people will start to not question it very much.

Whereas I think if you demonstrate an aspect of vulnerability, then people start to worry about why you're doing it. And then they start to question it even more. And then they're going to be on your case or they're going to be thinking about it a little bit more. Yeah, that initial change is really, really difficult, I think, for people. Because it's the same as like, all right, let's say you're the person who goes out and goes on the piss.

And then people are expecting you to drink. And then you say, oh, no, I'm on the non-alcoholics today, especially in Irish culture. They're like, what are you doing? Why don't you have a point? and that's that like they they get stressed about you not drinking because they feel like it's going to ruin their night and you have to be able to set them boundaries and be like no this is what I'm doing I'm still here and I'm enjoying myself but then you also have the aspect of like

I have friends who will always go out and only have non-alcoholics and I expect that from them and it's just it's just a normal thing and I don't even question it that's why I smoked when you said about going dry Joe it wasn't necessarily me not believe in you I had this I don't believe there was this video in my head I can't remember the guy's name but he's quite big on instagram and tick tock i think and he basically turns up to the pub and just goes does anyone want um anyone want around or like do we want this this this is and one of them says i'm on the i'm on the zero i'm all right and he went okay i'm on dry january or something he'd be like all right turns around and said i'll see you in february then

and just leaves and it just made me think of that that video which is funny but i don't agree with it at the same time and i think it's partly funny because it is so stupid. Man, I often make jokes when it's not, I won't give out about someone else not drinking, but like people will say to me like, why don't you go to the pub and just have zero zeros?

And I was like, I could also go to a brothel for a hug. Do you know, it's like, I don't, I don't see the point myself of drinks. I know love to hug. I'll pay you anything for a hug. I'd pay more for. a hug right now. Anyway, we should probably leave it there before we get into Jair's brawl experiences, to be honest. I have no brothel experiences. Thank you very much. All right. So we are, I think that's,

I think we wrapped up a lot on weight loss there in terms of our practical advice and maybe even the psychology around it and identity change and stuff like that. Go ahead, Ger. Could I say one thing before I saw your questions. On that whole set in boundaries and doing all this stuff, there's like two things. One, you have to start being really selfish. If there's something you want, you have to put yourself first to do it. Two, ask for fucking help. If you, if you struggle

to say no to people suggesting doing things, tell them. Yeah. Tell them, I don't want to meet you for drinks because I'm going to overdo it and it's going to impact me doing this. Can I meet you there? And I need to get you to do, help me with this a little bit more. People want

to help you succeed. Yeah. Or you shouldn't have them around. Oh yeah, and sometimes you need to also just maybe expand your social group, but like if you only have friends who only go on the piss and only like, you know, do them sorts of things or eat out, maybe you need to like, you know, join a hiking group or a walking group or a gym or, you know, the tennis club or like you need to surround yourself in, in that kind of environment if that's the person that you want to be a little bit more of. Yeah. Rob, final thoughts?

Just with what Jess said then about, um, at least. for help. A lot of the time, I think people respond emotionally to you changing what you're doing because they don't understand it and they see a risk around it, but they don't understand what it is. If you actually communicate why you're doing this thing, how that person can be helpful in your life still and what value they still have, they're much more likely to help you kind of sustain what you're aiming to do, I reckon. All right, we'll wrap it up there. Thank you very much, folks. That was very insightful. I appreciate it. I'll see us next week. Cheers, boys.