The Uneducated PT Podcast - Ep. 169 | 600 People Over 37 Shared the Advice They Wish They'd Known at 30.

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

Ep. 169 | 600 People Over 37 Shared the Advice They Wish They'd Known at 30.What would your older self tell you if they had the chance?After turning 30, Mark Manson asked more than 600 email subscribers aged 37 and older one simple question:"What advice would you give your 30-year-old self?"The answers were remarkably consistent.In this episode, Karl, Ger and Rob unpack the biggest lessons that came from hundreds of people who have already lived through the decades many of us are just entering. From money and health to relationships, family, purpose and taking risks, we ask whether we're making the same mistakes they wish they could undo.We discuss:• Why almost everyone wished they'd started saving earlier.• The importance of looking after your body before it's too late.• Setting boundaries and cutting out toxic people.• Why your closest relationships become your greatest investment.• The risks most people regret not taking.• Whether anyone ever really feels like they've got life figured out.• What success actually looks like as you get older.Finally, we ask ourselves one question:If your 80-year-old self could sit across from you today, what advice would they give you?A conversation about regret, perspective and how to build a life you won't look back on wishing you'd lived differently.

This man has never came, never once came to one of these podcast episodes prepared. Look, if anything, I'm consistent. All right. All right. So, all I type. We're not talking about Jir's previous week or so. You can fucking put me in the spotlight. No, we're not, we're not talking about personal, um, we're not talking about

Gallivant or anything like that. Rob, we're trying to be serious. We have, we have too much, we've too much to talk about. Nobody cares what Jare was doing. of those guys. All right. Well, they might, but we'll come back to it. All right. So I thought you would have obviously heard about this chair anyway. So it like, I heard about it, but I kind of just, it was like 15 coaches and predominantly, well, actually all of them were Irish. And you know, there's that big kind of like Marbea Irish fitness influencer scene that's yeah, well, it's been

going on for probably about 15 years. But I feel like with the kind of rise of online coaching and online fitness influence they're seeing over the last like six, seven years. It's probably, probably bigger than ever before. But basically there was these two coaches and they were putting on a photo shoe for like 15 coaches and they were all paying like two grand each or maybe four grand. I'm not sure. Between them and yeah, essentially they all went over to Marbeah to do the photo shoe and whatever.

And the videographer wasn't paid. the none of the most of these were fitness coaches who were prepping for this photo shoe and none of them got their photos or anything like that and then like multiple coaches put out videos basically not just giving out about these people but like allegations of like you know personal behavior um giving out about the coaching practices you know business conduct all that stuff basically um you like use your you can do you can use your imagination to some of the reports. I think I

only saw like a brief 20 second clip of some girl talking about it like I don't know do they arrive over and there wasn't even like a villa book. Oh yeah so sorry and also the two coaches advertised this as like they were going to get picked up in I don't know if it was like a Ferrari

or something like that then they were going to have this fancy villa and like none of that actually happened either and yeah and basically basically, you know, all their, everything that they said they were going to get, they essentially didn't get.

How do people think they'll get away with it now? Well, I'd imagine that he must, because it also came out then. There was a couple of coaches who came out and said about, about working with this person before and him being in their mentorship and saying, and saying, oh, basically that, you know, they didn't have, they didn't have nice things to say about this person, obviously. So, like, I think they were getting away with it for a while in terms of their conduct and their behavior.

But now it's obviously gone to a stage where, like, you've shafted like 15 people at a time. And they're all people who are well used to use in social media. so they've all come out with their stories. And like these are allegations of like, like physical harassment and stuff like that as well. So yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't look good for the two lads. One of them I think like just hasn't said anything and kind of turned off to his Instagram.

And the other was blaming it all on the other coach. But yeah, it just came out all these videos. And I was like, this, it doesn't paint. good picture for not only online coaching but also like you know uh prep shoots and just that you know fitness influencer marbaea seeing as well that that um that kind of scummy stereotype you have with certain parts of that side of the industry yeah super fucking highlighted with it yeah so yeah exactly the things that we already kind of felt yeah about out that side of the industry, it kind of all came to, came to the forefront. Now, I know there's

really good prep coaches out there who are very professional and can get people in an incredible shape. But there's also, yeah. Yeah, but there's also a lot of people out that see, that, out that side who they're probably not, they're not even that great coaches, but they just got really good at creating content and then massed a lot of followers and then just decided to move out to Marbe and live that lifestyle. What's, I can't remember was it. Some, some coach was saying like if you had the delulu of some of the people

you see on fucking line how far you'd go like if you weren't if you weren't so self-aware and critical you'd probably go very far yeah so here's my question

to you is then like off the back of that do you think that like online coaching itself has become has become more influencer first than coach second well you'd know more

about that wouldn't you like what are you saying? What are you trying to say? Did I'm an influencer or not a coach? Carl's dodgy Madeira trips. Hold on. You got exactly what you paid for.

I was promised health and wellness. You got yoga. You had workouts. You got you. I didn't do yoga. I definitely didn't do yoga. Well, that was because you were too hung over, not because of it.

I don't get hangovers, so there's holes in your story. Everything that was advertised was provided. There was hikes. There was yoga. There was alcohol. Half pissed. Half pissed getting onto the planet in going over. There was a pill.

There was a villa. I provided everything and more. If anything, I went above and beyond for years. You know what I mean? Well, let's, and that's not, that's to do a hike and not a fitness coach. Anyway, we're going on a side tangent there.

Anyway, Rob, stick up for me. You enjoyed yourself. I had a good time. Yeah, it was decent. I didn't have a good time. I just said there was no wellness. I did yoga, so there was a little bit for me.

So do you think that a good bit of the industry? See, it's hard to answer this question because obviously you know a lot of good coaches, right? So you're probably going to have your, you have this kind of this biased towards. we know a lot of good coaches we know a load of great coaches

in this group it's that's also the bubble that's a bubble yeah that bubble is there because of the whole toxicity of the rest of it not saying all of them there's plenty of other great coaches but don't fucking have a clue but when you see when you see something come out like that about the marbayething and there's like 15 coaches

who've been shafted who were all also coaches as well yeah and you realize how many people who are actually coaches who still fall for people who are essentially charlatans and con men. Like a lot of the, a lot of, it seems like that landscape of the fitness industry is, you know,

if they're an influencer, they're put on a, on a pedestal rather than their coaching ability. Well, it sounds, it sounds like they got caught by, like a magpie effect. Yeah. You know,

getting pit. picked up in a fucking limo or Ferrari The rented villas, the luxury cars, the professional photo work, all that. But that's all marketing. That's what I mean. Oh yeah, yeah. And like that's, it's, you could equated to your

six to 12 week shreds. You know, same simple idea. All those fancy promises and, you know, if you don't deliver on it, it's more your fault. But I would presume if you were really serious about your prep and stuff for

shows or for your photos you'd be more concerned on the facilities for the gym while you're there the food you're going to be fed not getting picked up in a fucking Ferrari yeah you know that's that's what you

that's what I think you'd be looking for so like they targeted like they did very well you have to like how meant you said 15 15 coaches well 15 coaches came out with with what I think with videos

test testimonials about, so there's, there's alleged. Well, I would imagine so. I would imagine there's a couple of, there's a good couple of stories, you know. That's like, that's, that's, that's for one photo shoot now. That's so, it's, it's, it's like the fire festival for fitness. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what it is. Um, so yeah, I think, you know, you're, there's still, there's still a big problem with the fitness industry in, in terms of packaging, well,

something online but not not being able to be accountable to providing that well it's it's an unsanctioned industry yeah whether it's like I know we talk about qualifications to know verse like experience

and yada yada but like you're you're taking a pretty package yeah and you're selling it to certain people you're gonna everyone's you're going to find that. Like we've worked, we've worked with people before that

have worked with other, other coaches and you listen to some of the stuff you're told, you're like, oh, God, you find it hard to believe that thing, that stuff's still happening.

Yeah. Do you think online coaching should have stronger regulations? Because it's difficult as well, isn't it? It's like, there's lots of people who have certifications in, or qualified in certain professions that are still dog shit at what they do, let's be honest.

Oh, yeah. Man, you have fucking doctors that are still shit at their job. Yeah, yeah. You know, like I, I remember, I remember from my ADHD diagnosis, I was, I was told, I was like, well, would you use exercise and, you know, your, your diet as a means to regulate your ADHD symptoms? And I'm like, I run a gym and I cook very well. I've been doing that. I've been doing that for a while.

Like, you know, like, you do, I know you can take the, I don't know, was it at one point Joe Wicks used the whole sugar consumption when you're younger leading to ADHD in kids. And like, it's that kind of shit that's still there. So like, how do you sanction it? Yeah. That man, what is the story with that man and his terrible nutrition advice? Because he's been around industry for so long. You think he'd have picked up some decent nutrition advice.

I think he knows, I think he sometimes he knows what he says. He knows, man. because he changes his tune after he sold something. Yeah. Like, I think there was one book. It was some book he brought out. And then after,

like he wasn't like he was denouncing, Joe, calories in versus calories out. But he was saying it doesn't matter. Like, he wasn't hammering at home. And then, like, weeks after he sold a certain amount of million,

then he started talking about how calories matter. Yeah. But, like, what I find funny then is you look at the likes of, um, Oh, what's the fitness event in Dole? No, Wellfest. Yes.

Like they'll have all those kind of people headlining that. Yeah. Me no like that. Yeah. I don't, myself and Wellfest will never be one. My two things from going to one Wellfest that made me, actually not, there's one reason I liked it because there was Jerry Hussey and Richie Norton,

and I really like listening to them. The two things that made me hate. it were being given non-alcoholic gin and telling me it tastes great and fucking blueberry apple cider vinegar and I'm like if you have to fucking yeah put flavors into it to tell me about its health benefits I'm like fuck that but I they'll have they'll have all those influencer types there yeah to boost up numbers and make sales it's the way around going around with their assailles balls and their yoga mats and I am not well so I don't want to be at your wellness event. Let me just train

and I'll have some eggs on toast in the morning and I'll drink points at the weekend. I'll have a point of the weekend and that is my wellness and if that makes me happy, you know, I don't need to pretend to be fucking meditating out my nose for

with 2,000 people and then Joe Wicks get me to do fucking jumping jacks half an hour later. Fuck off. You know what? When are we going to stand our luxury retreats. Very soon, very soon.

We're not going to, we're not starting with a good marketing plan. It's the TV he was dissing my Madeira trip. Well, apparently that wasn't anything to do with wellness. Yeah, yeah, fair. It was a hiking trip, not a well- It was a hiking trip. It was just poorly marketed. So we'll know better, you know.

Rob, what are your thoughts? Have you ever fallen for any kind of services that didn't live up to the hype we don't want to know about your time on Amsterdam I actually don't know I don't think so I think I'm so so sceptical of things I almost hesitate unless I know for certain it's going to be

what it's supposed to be so I just don't do anything I just stay in this room my whole life and don't fall for any scams. That's nobody. I've probably signed up for like subscriptions on like for apps and things like that that of like just games and things like that. And I'm just like,

cool, be good to do that. And then it just scams you out of that. Can I ask you the question actually off the back of that? So what do you think actually protects the consumer? If there's someone listening to this now who, you know, is looking for an online coach. Like there's nothing that really protects them. There's not.

like well it's supposed to be consumer rights bodies in the UK I don't know if there are in Ireland but will that work

across across for online because you know that doesn't work that doesn't work on the fitness industry in the UK yeah

does it no okay are you telling me you're telling me there's you're telling me there's no

charlatans in the UK fitness industry oh no there will be um just wondering whether offco

I think it's called offcom if you've got that in Ireland or not. I don't think so. Like, the only way,

the only way you could know is by being able to freely contact some old clients. But then you don't know if they're old clients that were friends, that are helping them out or, and like that's, like, the only way is to change the qualifications then. And then you do stop a lot of people getting into

the industry that are very good in the industry. Yeah. Do you think that Colin this stuff out is justified? Yeah, they got robbed. I think it's justified, but it is potentially damaging to others that are in the industry that are doing good. Like people are going to be more hesitant to actually. But also what I mean by that is like, you know, you have public accountability. But also imagine like, imagine there was a lot of them facts were.

weren't true. You know, allegedly all this stuff has happened. Like, allegedly there's been sexual harassment and stuff like that, but at the same time, without a fair trial, you don't really know.

But yet, you're already considered guilty and your reputation has destroyed before. Now, there is, obviously, like, you know, 15 people have come forward that's talking about.

The little clip I saw, I'm quite sure, the girl was saying she wasn't going to name names, that's something I never understand. The name, the name was named plenty of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, okay, whatever clip I, but I'm like, well, that would be, I name and shame them straight off the bat.

Yeah, both of them were named. Okay. Are they well known? I didn't know them before, but again, I wouldn't be kind of down that rabbit hole of looking for a physique development coach because I'm already perfect as I am. As they say.

I think if you're stating stuff online that's literally happened to you, you've paid for a Lamborghini to turn up and the Lamborghini didn't turn up. You're just stating facts. But if you're, if you're re-sharing stuff that you've just heard from someone else,

yeah. You are just gossiping at that point. Like what we're down right now. Basically, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. well I don't I don't really know what we're talking about so I'm exempt I'm just saying words

all right so next question would just ever move out to Marbea and start your online fitness coaching I've never seen what Marbeia's like so I don't know sun that's why I assume sun and sand and beach

cheap drinks well I could tell you probably then yeah definitely no I wouldn't no. I don't think I'd pick Marbea. No, I hate that circle of, no offense, but I just hate that circle of

fitness coaches and they're everywhere. I think it's also the idea that if we were all to move somewhere with sun and sand, we'd like to go somewhere where there isn't a hugely populated fitness industry already. Yeah.

I don't mind that. Like I don't mind that. Like I don't, I didn't mind Bali, but it's just there's something about the Irish fitness scene in Marbea. that just fills me with ick

I bet you feel like you'd be more associated with it because you are Irish yeah maybe yeah I think so it is predominantly well like I know there's lots of English people over there as well but it's there is a huge there is a big group of kind of

Irish fitness influencers who go over there it kind of started with your man what's the Dublin lad called again I can't is it Rob Lipset. Yeah,

Rob Lipset. It kind of started with him and a lot of them. Oh, well, I'm not going to Marbaea then. That's, if that's,

if that's, if that's the group of it, I'm all right. Yeah, I'll go focus somewhere else. I'll go to Bray. I hear there's some okay coaches there. Yeah,

go to Bray. I call it, Mar-Brea. So, Mar-Breya. It's close. It's close. Oh, just stop doing that.

I like it. Anyway, right, because it's my birthday, right? And I'm another year into my 30s. I wanted to finish the second part of the podcast off with some life advice. And yous are going to elaborate on it. Okay. So this is from Mark Manson, who was one of my many favorite writers, right? And he wrote 10 life lessons to excel in your 30s.

So the first question I'm going to ask you is, Rob, I'll start with you. Are you excelling in your 30s? Um, not yet, but I'm about to. Yes, love that for you. Well done. What about you, Jerry? You excelled. Excelling more in my 30s than I did in my 20s. Very good. There's only one way, one way to go. Up was down to the directory. Yeah, yeah. I already, rock bottom had a basement and I lived there. It was fine. All right. So basically, um, Mark Manson basically asked his, um,

email list who were people in their 30s to basically email in their advice for anyone in their 30s. I got over 600 responses and then he kind of the same like five or six pieces of advice that came up over and over again. He condensed that down to to what he thought was good advice for people in the 30s from, you know, people who are now in their 40s, 50, 60s. All right. So this will be good advice for use to take. take stock of. All right. So number one, the most common piece of advice to come out was start saving for retirement now, not later. So this is from cash 41. I know I didn't like this either. So I spent my 20s recklessly, but your 30s should be when you make a big financial push. Retirement planning is not something to put off. Understanding boring things like insurance 401ks and

mortgages is important since it's all on your shoulders. Now, educate yourself. What do you think? What do you think? It's different in America than it is to the UK and I assume Ireland. But I've always been kind of like just spending money now. You're not going to have it when you're dead. Like enjoy life now and everything. But fingers crossed, there are going to be another 20, 30, 40 years. what's retirement age in the UK by the time I get there it would probably be about 70 or something yeah it's about it's 68 69 here isn't it

60 yeah 68 is it got no but I thought it was 67 I thought it was I thought it was 65 and it went up to like 69 like I'm fairly sure in the job I'm in I'm just gonna get carried out one day in a box yeah I think it's gonna I'm trying to train myself

just to do lots of different stuff that I can do until I die. Like teaching, I know PT and stuff it's going to be difficult to do, but you can teach people what to do. Yeah, but does all that stuff really have anything to do with having a savings account

and a retirement fund? I remember, I remember when I was setting up my business, an accountant said to me, he was like, if you're focusing on your saving rather than investing in your business, you're not going to win in the end.

So like, I, yes, I do fucking indulge and spend money on myself, but like I put a lot of money into the business that it will return. I also have to make it to fucking retirement. I'm happy I'm aged at 36. I mean, if you're, if you've set up a business, that is kind of your retirement fund in a way, isn't it?

Like there's a lot of people that work and work really hard, but actually when they leave their job, what they're leaving with is either nothing or a pension. like they don't have something to sell on afterwards or... But do you think that's right? Do you think that's right? It is for some people.

What do you mean? As in they're working so hard for it and then they don't get anything back? No, as in they've worked somewhere, let's say in a company their whole lives, but they have no savings to show for it. Yeah, well, it's a little different. You don't own, like outside of your house and your car and stuff, you don't have anything. Like I can 100% see you with a Zimmer frame inside in a gym,

roaring at people to do stuff. You know, I don't think it's, I don't think it's ever going to fuck it in, because we, we live a good life now. Yeah, but I'm worried that I just, I know, I have no savings, by the way,

I do not have a retirement plan and I have no, like, shouldn't be so, I've just, I've just been thinking about this now as I was reading that, and as I,

and it's always, it's been subconsciously in my mind is that, like, I really need to, like, get a hold of having some sort of, just consistently small, small saving stuff.

He, He broke this advice into make it a top priority to pay down all your debts as soon as possible. Keep an emergency fund. There were tons of horror stories about people getting financially ruined by health issues, lawsuits, divorces, bad business deals, etc. Stash away a portion of every paycheck, preferably into a 401k. Obviously, we don't have to worry about that, our savings account. Don't spend recklessly. Don't buy a home unless you can afford to get a good mortgage with good rates.

don't invest in anything you don't understand don't trust stock brokers one reader said if you are in debt more than 10% of your gross annual salary this is a huge red flag quit spending pay off your debt and start saving another road I would have saved more money in an emergency fund because unexpected expenses

really killed my budget I would have been more diligent about a retirement fund because now mine looks pretty small yeah I do think it's different when you are self-employed or own your own business. Do you think it's more important or less

important in that regard? I actually think it's less important because like you're going to keep it's money you're making for yourself. Like yeah, I look at the plumber next door. He retired for a little bit. He came back to work. He's retired now. There's no local plumber in the village. Like, you know, what if you're you're self-employed,

right? So what if you're self-employed now for the next 10 years and you don't really save anything and then you end up getting sick and you can't work anymore. I have no debt. I pay my health insurance. I pay my insurance for my business. I'm covered if I get sick. Okay, so you do put money into that?

Yeah. But like, I'm not putting money away. Like, don't know wrong, I bought a pair of, I bought myself a nice, two nice linen sets yesterday, and then I bought myself a new weightlifting belt, and I bought flights for the August bank holiday.

And then I was like, I think you need to relax a little bit. Yeah. I don't like but I have no debt. Yeah. Yeah, fair. All right, let me go on to the next one because there's loads to go through here. Okay.

So essentially what user, user, user opposed to saving. All right. I would say drip food save them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, same. I know I should. I'm, my problem is I'm self-aware, but it's not resulting in actual action. Oh, yeah, that's, I know that. Okay, grant.

All right. Number two, number two is start taking care of your health now. not later. Your mind's acceptance of age is 10 to 15 years behind your body's aging. Your health will go faster than you think, but it will be very hard to notice. Not the least because you don't want it to happen. That is very, very true because in my mind, I'm... I'm 20. Yeah, I'm 23, not 33. You said it to me Saturday in town after Florence. When I talked about going to a late bar, you're like, you're clubbing day. are behind you and I was like how fucking dare you?

I'm like I can still fucking go. I was like and I'll be fine the next day but yeah. We're in Popwell's. We're in Topweld till 3am in Birmingham. Man I was in Birmingham I was sitting at the table with a sweet and sour chicken at four in the morning having a great time. And I was up the next day fresher than anyone else. I fully do not believe I'm 36.

Yeah. Well does your body tell you that you're 36? No. What does your body fail like? 70. Yeah, I'm dead. No, man, I feel pretty good. Like, I don't, I know people younger than me that complain about feeling old.

And I'm like, really? I have friends now that like, they're feeling the difference. Like, they're all starting to get into fitness. They're all starting to get into the gym and mind themselves. But no, I think the problem is people don't feel old. They feel young. But then, but then they don't. look after themselves and then before they know it,

they feel like they're, they're 20 or they're 25 or they're 30, but then they literally can't move, can't run, can't, you know, do a bodyweight squat to depth because they haven't moved in the last... 10, 50 years. I think that's,

I think that's the thing is, unless you put yourself in positions to do that stuff, you don't realize you're aging. Yeah. Like, I did a two hour run broken swim on Sunday. I'm pretty fucking happy. what my body can do now.

Yeah. And I don't take it as seriously as I probably should. Yeah. Well, I think I think that as you're getting older, you're fighting every day just to stay still rather than go backwards. Why I shave the side of my head so I can feel younger.

I'm going to hide those greys, man. Streamline as well. Why am I shave off the beard? What do you think, Rob? Do you think you're, do you feel young? Or do you feel old? Or does your body feel young? Do you feel, do you feel,

feel mentally immature so young mentally but body wise I think partly because I've most of my work the last decade or so has been sat at a computer and talked to a screen I think my body definitely feels older I think it could feel older for sure because I've trained a lot over the last decade as well and I've looked after my body generally speaking yeah but there are definite weaknesses because of how I've lived so yeah body wise I'm I you know I I don't know. I don't know how the typical 40-year-old feels, but I'd say I feel older physically than I'd want to.

Can you still do everything that you could have done in your 20s? I don't know if I'd be able to play football at the moment because I'd probably end up crippled for a few days after with my ankles and knees and stuff. So your ankles and knees are not what they used to be? No, but joints-wise, not great. But also in my 20s, I wouldn't have been able to hike up a mountain in New Zealand,

because I wasn't fit enough. Really? Yeah. See, this is the problem with this, like, when people are like, oh, I wish I was the same as when I was in my 20s, I was 150 kilos morbidly obese. Like, even when I got back to sports a couple of years later,

my ankles were at me. Like, I used rolled them all the time. I had to have them specially strapped for matches. Don't have that now. Yeah. Like, I'm better now than I was when I was 20, 21. So you're younger now than you are when you're 20. I'm younger, man.

I'm aging backwards. Yeah. I'm just, that's chronologically no, but biologically, yes. Yes. Okay, nice. All right, number three, don't spend time with people who don't treat you well. Learn, this is from Haley 37. Learn how to say no to people, activities and obligations that don't bring value to your life.

After calls to take care of your health and finances, the most common piece of advice from people looking back at their 30-year-old self was an interesting one. They would go back and enforce stronger boundaries in their. lives and delegate their time to better people. What do you think about that? Generally, I agree with that one. I think as long as you're not, it depends on where you're drawing the line. Because if, like, we hang out, I mean, we don't hang out with each other in person that much. But I feel personally like, hopefully we all bring a bit of value to each other's lives.

If on one day. How dare you. Bring a full plate of value. You fuck. Go on, anyway. If there's one day where if we met up and I was in a terrible mood, I wasn't bringing anything to the table for you guys, you were sat around me,

you felt miserable, all of that. And then you went, do you know what, there's some evidence that it doesn't bring anything, any value to our lives. Therefore, I'm going to cut him out because that's what negative.

When you're looking at evidence, you have to look at evidence across the entire board. Not a day. And I think some people struggle with where to actually draw the line. So just have a fair statement of, if this person stops bringing you value, get rid of them. Yeah. I think something you need to be a bit careful with.

But yeah, generally, people can have a bad day, you know what I mean? And it does not be themselves. But I think, I think you know soon enough if you don't feel right around a person, like they, they give you like backhanded compliments or you know, you're supposed to go to a thing and you know you really don't want to go,

but you've already committed to it. Like all that kind of stuff. I think... I was, I was shit at that. Yeah, same. I was shit at that for a long time. I was shit at that for a long time.

And even just being around, John, just low, like, low energy people that just dragged you down, the conversations you were having, the things said about other people. I think my therapist said something about kind of like the lobby, being in a lobby surrounded by elevators. And you're there on level 10. and you want to go up to 13 and you're holding on to the people that are down in 10 trying to bring them up with you because you do care about them in a certain aspect, but they're holding you there. So like the surrounding, I think one of the life advice I was going to get is surrounding by surrounding yourself

with people you'd aspire to be more like. Yes. Even if you're on their level, but if you believe they're higher or like you, there's characteristics of them you'd like to reach, then that's the people you should. surround yourself with. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I think I'm a lot, it's a lot easier for me to just, and I'm not like, even people that I do like, but I know that when I spend time with them,

I'm like, oh, you know what, I actually wish I didn't waste them two hours doing this thing. This feels more like a chore than it does me, you know, feeding off someone's energy and two of us having like enjoyable conversation or whatever just because I feel like I am obliged to do that because I know this person so long I've I've stopped doing that I've just been like oh no sorry I can't make it out today you know and it's just like this doesn't align with my values anymore I would rather go train with someone I would rather go do this podcast I would rather you know whatever it is go for points with someone who's going to be funny and silly and you know not feel I feel if you feel drained after being with someone that's pretty good indication that looks it's

probably not your people all right number four be good to people you care about show up with and for your friends um you matter and your presence presence matters that's jessica 40 conversely while enforcing stricter boundaries on who we let into our lives many readers advised and making more time for those friends and family that we do decide to keep close. When you started saying it, I was going to say with boundaries. Yeah. That's like obviously, yeah, care, like show the people you love that you care about them, blah, blah, blah, but then like instill those boundaries because if it's going to drain you, you're not going to be able to care about them too much. Yeah.

But I think so Ed said this. I think sometimes I may have taken some relationships for granted. and when that person is gone, they're gone. Unfortunately, the older you get, things start to happen and it will affect those closest to you. It's difficult as well because you do

nostalgia is a thing. You get 10 years down the line and you go, ah, do you know what? I really valued that aspect of that person. But actually sometimes your judgment in that situation is it's right. You've just, you've removed all the fluff 10 years down the line

you go, ah, I really enjoyed going for pints with that person, but actually the whole package that they brought to you wasn't actually a good one. Yeah. Or it could be like, I like to think of things like, oh, this is my one, one hour friend, my one week friend, my one month friend, or whatever it is. It's like I can spend an hour with this person and it's really enjoyable, but if it's any longer than that, then I'll start to resent it because it's no longer is good for me. or like I can spend a week with this person and we can have great time. But any longer than a week, it's like, all right, I need to, I need to rain it in and have, you know, my own time or like I can spend a month with this person.

So like instead of instead of you resenting someone because you didn't understand how much time you can allocate that person would, that's on you rather than on them. Yeah, you're resenting yourself because you didn't respect your own boundaries. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Number five, you can, can't have everything focus on doing a few things really well. Everything in life is a trade-off. You give up one thing to get another and you can't have it all except that. That is from Elder who is 60.

In our 20s we have a lot of dreams. We believe that we have all the time in the world. I myself remember having illusions that my website would be my first career of many. Little did I know it took the better part of a decade to even get competent in this. And now that I am competent and have a major, I have a major advantage. and love what I do. Why would I ever trade that in for another career? What do you think?

That's what I need to listen to or have listened to recently a bit more. Like I think in my head I'm like, I want to do this, I want to do this, I want to do this. When am I going to slot them into my life? Whereas actually just focusing on one or like at least an area, a more clear area of things. It is a really difficult thing to do because I can understand wanting to do everything and everything excites you and and when you do pick something you're giving up on and you're essentially given up on another life. I think partly why I like the work that I do in shoot room but also going into the mental health stuff, all of the people I work with will become these different, potentially

these different aspects of the person I want to become. So like some might become sports people, some might become doctors, some might become they might work in, in fitness industry, and leisure, whatever. There's certain areas that I wanted to try. And I'm like, cool, I can help these people become the people they want to be and that I might have wanted to be. Like, there's two things.

I'd love to get into psychotherapy and running my food truck, but I'm not in a place to do them right now. Or do both of them. Or do both of them. No, both of them would kill this business. I think one of them would kill this business right now. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, but you've been, Jare, you've stayed in the fitness industry for a long period of time now. So you have, I'm six, six years running this business,

a couple of years before I'm starting out and then rugby coaching for a few years before that. Which ties into this? Which ties in? I think this is probably the one thing I've stuck with the longest. Like I've got half, I got a half a half a year.

year of, no, I've only got a year left in being a qualified health and safety officer. Stocked after a year because I was like, I can't fucking do this. This is not me. This is terrible. I feel like you have from the outside looking in, but do you feel like you've been present in that the whole time? And same to you, Carl.

Because you're saying the numbers of years you've been in there, I've been teaching for, what, eight, nine years now? And I just feel like my brain's been elsewhere. the whole time. I don't know if it's because of job satisfaction towards the end, but I committed to it for that long, but I didn't feel like I was properly invested in it, if that makes sense. Yeah. I don't, I think there was times where I forgot how long I'd been doing it, because like you're always trying to grow it or expand it to a certain point. For mine, it was like security and being in a stable enough position that, like, I do think a couple of years ago I lost sight of

that and I got bogged down on the expansion side of things and I think was it a couple of weeks back where I joked about like the inquiry inbox that I didn't know anything about like two years ago I every month was telling my business guy Dan that my business was failing it most certainly was not but that was the way I saw it now I'm quite happy the way it's running like I'm trying to set up an automated system there and I could barely explain how it runs because it's It's my organised chaos. Like I feel a lot more present in it now in the last year, two years than I did before. Here is advice number six that just flips this on and said.

So don't be afraid of taking risks. You can still change. While by the age of 30, most people feel like they should have their career dialed in. It is never too late to reset. The individual that I have seen with the biggest regrets during this decade are those who stay in something that they know. is not right. It is such an easy decades to have the days turn into weeks turn into years, only to wake up

up at 40 with a midlife crisis for not taking action on a problem they were aware of 10 years prior but failed to act. I've taken enough risks in my life that I'm not stressing the idea of doing something else.

I would say, I would say the first piece of advice probably dials more into your circumstance and and this one probably dials more into Rob's circumstance, would you say, Rob? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was going to say I kind of resonate with that a lot. And I think when I turned 30, like, I was pretty happy. Like, you know, a lot of people turn 30 and they go, oh, my God, I'm turning 30.

What have I done with my? Like, I just thought, I've done loads in my 20 years. And I was actually listening to our podcast episode the other day, just to vet them, about giving advice to ourselves as 20-year-olds or as the 20-year-olds. I think one of my main things was taking risk that I wish I'd done like taking risks but actually there was a lot of risk that I applied into my 20s

but then I kind of felt a bit safe with my work financially and stuff and then turn 30 and thought cool all of my 20s I've done quite a lot and now it's this last two or three years that I've kind of gone I've done a lot still but career-wise it's not right for me and I felt really uncomfortable in me and what I was doing and what I was contributing.

So yeah, I'm glad that I've kind of jumped ship and shifted into this. Because I think if I'd have got to 40 doing exactly what I am doing now or was doing, I'd have regretted not trying to get into psychology, I think. Yeah. Here's one that IEDA, who is 49, said about risk as well, which ties into taking more risk and change into the trajectory that you're on. Less fair, less fair, less fair. I'm about to turn 50 next year

and I'm just getting that lesson. Fair was such a detrimental driving force in my life at 30. It impacted my marriage, my career, my self-image in a fiercely negative manner. I was guilty of assuming conversations that others might not have been thinking about, thinking I might fail,

wondering what the outcome might be. If I could do it again, I would have risked more. Yeah. I'm sure there'll be people that are the opposite side of that, though, that just like I took too many risks I wish I'd kind of just accepted

where I was for a little bit yeah I mean it depends what the risk is yeah yeah like going on certain benders or difference of that or trying a new career two different things yeah I didn't calculate it risks are good

but I think some people are just reckless on purpose because because I'm maybe subconsciously they want to self-sabotage their life is that you dear that are you projecting that's definitely more projection if I wanted to ruin my life

I could fucking do it care yeah I well I confess I've took less risks I feel in the last well actually that's a lie okay and move on number seven number seven you must continue

to grow and develop yourself so Stan 48 says you have two assets that you can never get back once you've lost them your body and your body and your mind. Most people stop growing

and working on themselves in their 20s. Most people in their 30s are too busy worried about too busy to worry about self-improvement. But if you're one of the few

who continue to educate themselves, evolve their thinking and take care of their mental and physical health, you will be light years ahead of the pack by 40. I love that one. See, I'm going to do devil's advocate.

Go ahead. I complete, like I personally agree with the majority of that. It's just being cautious of constantly trying to improve yourself and never actually accepting that you are doing all right as you are. Very close.

I think I've slowed down the last few years because I'm just not reading, I'm not learning, I'm not like a load of these things that you discuss. I'm like, oh, I should know that kind of thing. Like all this information that you're grabbing, like it's great to take that in. So I've definitely stagnated a bit in some ways, but I think accepting that you are, you are enough. Is that not the ultimate growth

Where there's things you want to work on But you're quite content with who you are See I wouldn't say I'm content with her Yes yes that statement that you just I would say yeah Yeah Well I understand what Rob's saying Because it can be it can be self

It can be insecurity disguised as ambition Yeah I'd say so But I do agree with that I think trajectory wise from birth to death, it should be like that in terms of your personal development. Obviously, towards death, it's going to go down a bit. But yeah, just average line, it should be up.

There shouldn't necessarily be like 20 years of just being here. Like, in some way in your life, you want to be improving. Well, there's a great question to ask off the back of this because you've brought it up. So, like, when are people pursuing self-improvement and self-development out of fear and disgust for themselves and when is it a positive action? It's negative when you're doing it

because you feel like you need to impress others or you're doing it for another person's... But do you not think some of the greatest people who have achieved some of the greatest things in the world achieved them true fear of not being enough? Yes, but probably... Not probably, but potentially not healthily. Like they might get towards, they've achieved it

and then they go, oh, this wasn't actually for me. It's not like that intrinsically valuable to me. What am I going to get my kicks out of next? You'd have to look at, you'd have to look at how they look at things years down the line after. You can start something out of fear or negative views of yourself and it can help change the way you look at things. So here's that's my point. So if you even took the example of, let's say, fitness or whatever, some people will try to get in change. out of insecurity of not feeling good enough,

not feeling attractive. It might even come from self-hatred. It can come from body dysmorphia. It can come from poor body image. It can come from eating disorders, all that stuff. But... Go on. Go on.

No, go on. I would look back on my days with an eating disorder, the being overweight, like actually hating, hating myself at the time. and I can look back at it now and like you could say I wish that never happened

but I also wouldn't be me right now if it didn't happen like the darkness in me brings off the darkness brings the brightness that's in me now yeah that's what I'm saying so you're so even your unhealthy mindset around ambition and self-development

and grow still developed into self-improvement in a positive manner as well yeah so what I'm I'm saying is I don't think you always need to accept yourself in order to pursue self-improvement. But I also feel that if you don't address it at some point, then you will end up self-sabotaging in some negative way. I can 100% in the last year say the work I've done in the last year has been way better than the two years before it.

there has been an acceptance but it's it did start from uh it did start from a negative mindset yeah here's so so he so he wrote many readers related to the choice of going back to school getting degrees in their 30s and one of the most useful things they have ever done others talked about taking extra seminars and courses to get a leg up or others started their first business or removed to another country, others check themselves into therapy or began a meditation practice. As Warren Buffett once said, the greatest investment a young person can make is in their own education, in their own mind, because money comes and goes, relationships come and go, but what you learn once stays with you forever.

You like it? Do you agree? Rob? Of course. Yeah, I like that. All right. Should have dropped the mic. We'll move on then.

Number eight, nobody still knows what they're doing, get used to it. So unless you are already dead, mentally, emotionally and socially, you cannot anticipate your life five years into the future. It will not develop as you expected, so just stop it. Stop assuming you can plan ahead. Stop obsessing about what's happening right now because it will change anyway. And get over the control issue about your life's direction. Fortunately, because this is true, you can take even more chances and not lose anything. You cannot lose what you never had.

Besides, most feelings of loss are in your mind anyway. a few matter in the long term that's from Thomas at 56 so we need to work on our control issues care yeah do you have control issues sure yeah I do 100% 100% I remember back at my event

when multiple people asked me to help and I was like no I'm okay because if it all burns down it's my fault but I'd rather that than fucking being annoyed with people for doing things Rob you think you have control issues yeah yeah

I know you do care no we're not talking about me we're talking about Rob we're on to Rob right now I think I've started to or I'm gradually learning to accept

that I don't have control over everything and actually it's sometimes better to not have control over everything do you think that control is what makes you indecisive sometimes in your decision yeah yeah for sure like because

I think it's actually in a voice of control is part of my issue is like I look I guess if something goes wrong it's someone else's fault if I haven't been involved in it so maybe it's the opposite of yours chair it's like I can pass the blame onto some I won't blame them that's part of what it is I guess if if it's someone else's responsibility it's their fault but I know I won't judge them negatively for it so there's no real negative aspect to it whereas I should doing that for myself, but I don't.

It sounds like we all need to go on a holiday again and Rob needs to make all the decisions. I'll plan a holiday. It's going to have to be in two years time and I actually have some money. Shirley said with you, Rob, Shirley said, Shirley who is 44 said, I'm 44. I would remind my 30-year-old self that at 40, my 30s would be equally filled with dumb stuff, different stuff, but still dumb stuff.

So 30-year-old self, don't go getting on your high horse. you still don't know it all and that's a good thing. I think that's going to be the same every decade as you go on, isn't it? Yeah. I don't think it's going to change.

So do you ever get wise? I think you learn lessons whether you apply them all the time is different. Like we joke about being self-aware, but doing the things differently

is where the issue lies. I'm fairly sure I can see us in our 40s doing dumb shit. yeah it's not far out no it's well maybe for you how old do you know how old do you know car

33 oh you're still a youngster for some reason I thought you were older than me because you're more mature it's my wise head yes of course and not the wrinkles around my eyes anyway last one number 10

be kind to yourself respect yourself be a little selfish and do something for yourself every day, something different once a month and something spectacular every year. That is from Nancy who was 60 and I think that's the best piece of advice of the day.

Yeah. I say that to my clients. I think you have to be a little bit selfish. Something spectacular every year. That's cool. What does that mean? Like our trip last year. Yeah.

Yeah. That's, it's kind of mad to think it was what? Eight months ago. Yeah. That's why, that's where, that's the way you should now, your spectacular thing, Jay will be doing that swim from Scotland to Ireland. Yeah.

Ireland to Scotland, but like, yeah, I'm looking forward to that. I was even thinking about getting a tattoo to fucking commemorated afterwards. I think it's a scale thing, isn't it? Because when you're one, being able to, or one or two, being able to walk, that's pretty spectacular, right? When you start

walk. Whereas now we take that for granted. Like, one of my students just had a session with him before and he he's just been to Switzerland. And it's the first time being away without family. Like being bored without family. It was with like a school thing. Big deal. That's obviously his spectacular thing.

Yeah. For the year's first event the other year, that was to be a spectacular thing for him. Now moving on, doing more events is less spectacular. Yes. And from what you can't. But you know what?

That's an interesting point. So it's like, if you were to live forever, right, and you were to experience everything, then nothing, you're not going to be able to get any more joy out of life. Okay. Because you're not saying it against.

Well, put it this way, right? So remember the first time you get on a flight when you're a child. Yeah. Like how spectacular was that? I hated it. I hated flying. Bad example.

Bad example. You hated flying even as a child. Yeah. Yeah. I hated it. I didn't like heights. But for some reason, I want to jump out of an airplane. Like, you know, it's just my, I don't make sense.

I don't know. Well, maybe I'm wrong, actually, because I was just going to use the example of the first time you get into the sea, it's amazing. But, like, I still enjoy getting into the sea now. I, man, yeah. So some things don't, some things don't wear off on you, do they? No, because, like, the other side, I was actually doing this was this. We went to, we went to dogs bay until, at the weekend.

Nice. I'd never been there. Yeah. And I only thought about it. Like, Ireland being such a small country, I've talked about getting a map of every, like, lake, beach, river that I can start taking them all of them. I haven't gone into every place I possibly could swim in.

But if you've been to every place, if you've experienced every place on Earth, would it not be hell then? I don't think, it's like I said, I don't think the joy of getting into the water will ever be lost on me. Even if you lived for eternity. Yeah, because I think there's so many things

that will never get done. done in our lifetime. Yeah, but does that not make life even more precious and spectacular? It does. It does, but I'd also like to do everything. Yeah, same, same, same.

But like Rob, like Rob says, you can't do everything and sometimes you just have to commit to one life. Yeah. All right, well, we'll leave it there. Yeah.