The Uneducated PT Podcast - Ep 72 – From Stripper to Confidence Coach

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

Ep 72 – From Stripper to Strength Coach: Cheryl Skipper on Fear, Fat Loss & Fierce Confidence In this powerful and raw episode, we sit down with Cheryl Skipper – a fat loss and confidence coach who's on a mission to help women lose weight, feel strong, and actually enjoy the process. But Cheryl’s story goes way deeper than workouts and meal plans. A naturally shy and introverted woman, Cheryl spent 12 years working as a stripper and later stepped onto the stage as a competitive bodybuilder. She’s the embodiment of feel the fear and do it anyway – constantly pushing herself into uncomfortable, bold, and transformational experiences. We dive into:Her unexpected journey into stripping and how it shaped her self-imageWhat made her trade stilettos for dumbbells and pursue bodybuildingHow she now empowers other women to take control of their bodies and confidenceThe mindset shifts needed to stop hiding and start showing up fullyThis one’s honest, inspiring, and packed with real talk about self-worth, body image, and the courage it takes to rewrite your story.

Hello and welcome to the uneducated PT podcast with me, your host, Carlo Rourke. The goal of this podcast is to bring on interest and knowledgeable people from all walks of life, learn a little something from each conversation and for you, the listener, just learn something from each episode. So don't forget to subscribe to the channel, press the box below, show some support, and I'll see you on the next episode. Myself as well. But yeah, fat loss, confidence, all that jazz with females around 30 to 40.

Yeah, love that. And what pulled you into that kind of work? What pulled you into the fitness industry? It was a long road, to be honest. But I never really knew what I wanted to do. And I kind of always had a thing for fitness. Like at school, like PE lessons. I did GCSEP and A level sports studies,

but still didn't know what I wanted to do, but then decided, like, I didn't have the confidence to, like, be at the front. You know, like, as a coach or something like that, I didn't want to be like all eyes on me. So I thought, let's go behind the scenes and did sport therapy. That was what my degree was. Oh, okay.

So, you know, I could work behind the scenes knowing that no one needed to know who I was. I just did all the magic and got all the players like on the pitch and doing their thing. And yeah, I did that for a while. And then I got an opportunity to do my level three PT for three. I was like, well, why not? And kind of decided that I wanted to head down that way, especially after bodybuilding. as well, but I guess we'll get into that in a bit. Yeah, we'll get into that.

But you know what? Because you said that, it's intrigued me straight away and probably go into that. So, like, you said that, like, you kind of wanted to be, you know, not the face of anything or not kind of front and centre. But then two big things that you went into obviously was front and centre on stage. So was that deliberate? Was that, like, how did that come about? Good question.

one thing you'll learn about me is I am a bit of a contradiction when I say I want to do something and I do the opposite thing. Yeah, that's okay, I'm the same. But yeah, when I moved to lose, so I'd finished, I got a degree in sports nutrition and then I met my PT or was it the way around one way or the other, met my PT and he was the one that was like, I can see something in you, you should do bodybuilding competition.

and at that point I was still struggling with my weight but I'm also the kind of person that if someone's like gives me a little bit of belief I'll roll with it like well they see something that I don't see myself so let's see what happens so yeah I ended up bodybuilding and personal training when I didn't want to anyone to know who I was and what was the process of that like what do you think you've learned

what did you learn from that that I like a challenge I like a challenge. I'm actually not as unconfident as I believe myself to be. Like that was definitely a limiting belief holding me back from a lot of stuff. Yeah.

And I just wanted to help people. Like it was my personal trainer that helped me that drove my passion to then help other women. Because that he changed my life. So how long were you? How long did were you? Because I presume you don't compete anymore. But what, what,

how long was that process? Like what was the amount of time? that you stayed in that kind of role of bodybuilding? About five years. About five years, okay. What's something that, you know, people who, maybe the clients that you work with or, you know, just the general public,

what's something that they don't really know about that lifestyle of bodybuilding that you wish more people now? Just how hard it is. I don't know if it's relevant to my clients, but definitely other women that want to get into it, especially because I feel like the audience is getting younger. and I know if I did it when I was younger

I definitely wouldn't have had the mental resilience to get through it. What age were you when you started? 29. 29, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids are getting into it now. Yeah, they're like 20, they're 18, 20 and they want to step on stage and have these abs and their bodies aren't even fully finished developing anyway, are they?

Let alone their brains. Yeah. So definitely like, it's not relevant to my clients, but any woman considering going in it, like they need to be going in. to it for the right reasons and my reasons weren't right like they weren't the right reasons it was purely because someone said you should do it and I wanted to get in shape yeah and I kind of got sucked into it all yeah but it's you know it's not not something I would recommend to be honest

no you wouldn't recommend it to your own clients no absolutely not absolutely not yeah and so what what do you think uh you learned from that like do you think that it helped you in terms of in terms of confidence like confidence is obviously something that you spoke about a lot about during the talk in London on the weekend and, you know, forming an identity. Do you think that helped you to form an identity of someone, you know, who can take on challenges and be centre stage? Yeah, definitely. And also gave me that confidence in myself that I wasn't destined to be the fat one forever. Was that an identity that you held? Yeah. Yeah, massively. I think there's still a little bit left of it, but it's my weight was always a struggle,

especially like in my formative years, you know, teens, early 20s, I was definitely, I definitely was not happy with who or how I looked and the person, like that identity. I definitely took on the identity. Like no one, none of my friends had been part, yeah, Cheryl's the fact one, but that was the role that I took on myself. I was like, I was that one. All my friends are slurring, cute and getting attention from boys and. Yeah, yeah, it's always the, it's always your own internal thoughts that are, are the most cruel. And like, is, is that something that you see in your own clients that they struggle with? And, and, and if so, how, how do people kind of challenge them to, to, you know, create new thoughts or form a new identity? So, yeah, with that one, it's, it's a hard one because there's a lot going on with identity and identity. I think that I spoke about at the weekend,

but the first thing is actually doing something for themselves. So whether they're getting fast results or slow results, like actually making progress and seeing themselves as, you know, I'm becoming someone different. I don't have to be stuck in this identity. That's like a massive key into changing. And on top of that, so let's say you have a client, like what are some of the other kind of limiting beliefs that they have that when they're coming

working with you? Usually, like I can't stick to a diet. I always fail at dieting because they've never found me or, you know, they've just been through the ringer with weight watch is slimming world. Yeah. All the facts. And I've been the same. So I can definitely relate to them on that, you know, that aspect. Did you go through that process as well even before bodybuilding where you were going

through kind of fad diets and stuff like that trying to lose weight and getting caught in this kind of, you know, on a diet, off a diet cycle. Absolutely. Yeah, it was toxic. So how do you help a client to get out of that cycle? So the first thing for me is to educate them on why these diets do work and don't work. Because obviously we know they do, they do get results, but it's not a long-term thing. Yeah, that's the problem. You lose weight rapidly because you might be putting out a certain food group

or you know, your time restrict in a certain time in which you can eat. So you will, like, what is it that they say? Like, all diets work until they don't. Yeah, exactly. But a lot of my clients come to me because they don't want to sacrifice, social lives especially. Like a lot of my girls are social. and I know that we do have to make sacrifices

and I do say to it, I do say to my clients like you don't have to sacrifice at all. Like you can have anything you want. You just can't have everything. Yes. So, you know, it's getting them into that mindset that like you're here for a reason. You've chosen me because I've promised you,

you don't have to give up carbs. You don't have to give up going out on a Saturday night. You don't have to give up this. So, you know, you've already got some sort of belief that this is possible. So it's just reframing like what is healthy for, and why these diets haven't worked and why this is going to work for them because this is actually what they want like this is this is giving them the cake and eating it essentially yeah it makes

sense but it's like what it's like that beginner fallacy once you start out you think you have to do so much more than you really have to do to get the result yeah that's when people fall into extremes isn't it yeah and i need to break down with them this perfectionist mindset which you know i need to do it all i need to cut down my calories i need to do 15 000 steps a day five trainings sessions a week I need to do it all. I'm like, I think using my own experience and like where I'm at now in my journey really helps them because I'm far from perfect. I do like to have a beer at the weekend. I know. I know. You're a lot like me. I don't know. I don't do all our journey sessions. If I don't want to walk, I won't walk. But, you know, also having that acceptance

that, right, my choices will dictate my my results. Yeah. I've got to be happy with that. If I don't want to go to, if I don't want to do all my gym sessions this week and check on my food and do all my steps, then I know that I'm probably not going to make progress this week, and I'm fine with that because I've chosen, that's my, that's my choice. That's a really important word I think that people forget is the acceptance one way or the other.

Like, it's like, oh yeah, I enjoy, like, I haven't lost any weight this week or I haven't kind of pushed the needle in terms of my performance or whatever or that, but I've got to go out and enjoy a couple of drinks with my friends or my partner or my family and stuff like that. and then having the self-acceptance that, all right, well, I'm not going to make progress this week. I might only maintain, but I get to do all these other things that I still want to do as well and value.

Yeah, exactly. And I think like taking, unless it's a wedding or a holiday, like taking the pressure of a time frame of it, and their time frame works really well. Yeah. But we're all here. We're only here once. I say to my friends, we're only here once. We're going to enjoy it.

Yeah. When you want to push, you're all push. Like when I was getting ready for my wedding last year, there was sacrifices and like I was on it. But right now, you know, I've got a holiday in 10 weeks, 12 weeks, and I'm not that bothered. Like, I'll be happy however I go. So, you know, like on Friday, I didn't eat on plan

and I drank quite a lot of alcohol to celebrate my talk. And I'm okay with that because I don't have, like, if I wanted to get lean, if I wanted abs, I could do it. Yeah, yeah. And that's what I tell as my clients. But I think them seeing me at different points in my journey where I'm just like, do you know, I'm accepting of this, I'm happy. because there's other things externally

that make me happy rather than just... Yes. And that's the big thing as well is that like when a lot of people go on a weight loss journey or fat loss journey, especially if it's the first time

or if they haven't achieved what they wanted to achieve you. It's very easy to be very like narrow focused as this is the thing that I want to achieve and nothing else matters other than this. I'll be happy when. Yeah, exactly.

And this will define whether I'm happy or not or successful or not. And then they kind of have the blinkers on to all these other things that are really important in their life as well, like spending time with their family, spending time with their friends, you know, feeling productive,

feeling energetic, all these things. And I suppose that's when it ends up going into extremes. And even if they get the results they want, they actually realise that, well, I'm actually not fucking happy because I've been sitting at home in my room,

afraid to consume excess calories the whole time. And that's exactly where I got to with bodybuilding. Yeah. When I started it, it served a purpose. Yeah. It filled a hole in my life. But then,

because I just moved to a new city, and I didn't want to meet new people basically. So I threw himself into the gym. Where did you move to at the time? I moved to Leeds. Okay. And where are you now? Leeds.

Are you still in Leads? So you never moved out of Leeds after you moved in? No. Okay. All right. Yeah. So the body building's scene didn't scare you away from Leeds now? Yeah.

Well, a little bit. Like, I've definitely distanced myself from it. Well, that makes sense then, like in terms of, all right, like, bodybuilding was it? It was an avenue that you went down. but like it sounds like that's not really part of like your core values as a coach or as a person now so it's like why would you

why would you push that message at your clients not to have balance and not to be able to enjoy life while also still pursuing fitness and health. Yeah like my mindset when I was leaving bodybuilding and now looking back I'm grateful for it and what I achieved and that I actually did it.

However I also missed out on five years of my life like five great years but you know my early 30s I could have had a really good time. There's like a lot that I missed out on for this sake. These trophies in the back and abs. Yeah, yeah, it makes sense. But it's like, it's like anything in life when you pursue one thing, you end up sacrificing other things, isn't it?

Especially if you take it to extremes. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, obviously there are some of the things that you're probably enjoying now and that you value more. And I suppose bodybuilding probably gave you that in a sense as well, because although it was five years of dedication where nothing else probably mattered

other than training, nutrition, physique development, it probably also gave you more of an insight into actually these are other things that I want to experience in life that are just as important. Yeah, definitely. I really open my eyes to how much I did actually enjoy life before, even though I wasn't happy with like this, the body.

Yeah. I wanted to talk to you a little bit more about confidence as well because obviously that is something that, you know, a lot of people struggle with. And I think, I think especially for trainers in the fitness industry. Like I always say that, like, fitness trainers are the most insecure people on the planet. That's why we end up getting into fitness or getting into the gym in the first place. And then we end up coaching other people. When in your life did you feel probably the least confident?

And what pulled you out of that, do you think? It's a harder one because I feel like confidence is subjective. and like I said, I'm a massive contradiction because I say I'm not confident, but then I do things that people like, whoa. Yeah. I've never been confident to do that. Like speaking in front of 60 coaches at the weekend. Yeah, right.

And when I was 20, I dropped out of union and moved to Tenerife by myself for a year. Really? And then, you know, then I got into stripping. I used to be a dancer as a kid, so I used to step on stage and actually dance. But there's just been there always an undercurrent. I wouldn't say more shy, more shy than like less confident if that makes sense. I know they're kind of on the same spectrum. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think confidence is subjective and you put me in a task where it's, I guess, sink or swim and I will be confident I will do it because I don't have any other opportunity, any other option. But in day-to-day, I don't know, sometimes social situations, day-to-day life, I am quite shy, introverted. and for me, my perception of that makes me feel unconfident because I'm not like the loudest one in the room. I'm not the most talkative.

I don't have the best chat. But do you not think like I completely get that as well? And a lot of people mistake me for being confident when I'd go into the room and I'd be like, anxiety through the roof. But then it's like I know exactly what you're saying in terms of like you can get on stage and be the front and center,

but also inside almost be dying. a little bit, you know what I mean? Yeah, I think I am a bit of a performer. Yeah, yeah. Like it's a performance until you get to name me and then it's real. Yes, yes. That makes sense. Do you think, though, stepping up and performing,

whether that's, you know, on stage bodybuilding, whether it's on stage stripping, do you think, did that help even, like, when you're not feeling confident or when you're feeling self-conscious or when you're feeling shy, still getting up and doing the thing anyway, do you think that helped with building confidence over time

or even like on the weekend stepping up and speaking in front of 60 online coaches? Do you think like even if inside you're feeling you know quite anxious or quite nervous or quite shy doing the thing regardless of how you feel obviously helps with self-esteem, self-confidence, all that stuff. Yeah and confidence comes from competence right. like you'd keep doing something and you get better right

and you'll you become more confident at it. I was going to say something, I completely forgot. Well, you know, that goes back to that saying that I love. It's like feel the fear and do it anyway because I always say that to clients when they're starting off in the gym. It's like they don't want to come into the gym

or they don't want to walk through the door because they don't know what's on the other side. They're nervous, they're anxious. They don't know what machines work, what they do. They feel like people are looking at them. And I'm like, I understand that it's perfectly normal to feel like that

and you still have to do the thing anyway because if you avoid the thing that makes you anxious or makes you scared, it only becomes bigger and more scarier whereas if you do it, it becomes less than than I think. Yeah, I've just remembered what I was going to say as well. I think with the confidence side of things, what I've learnt is me personally, I need to actually like sit and like sit in the moment

of what I've just done rather than, because just like going through the motions like doing these things like I've done some huge things in my life it's only when I speak to people like you and other podcasts I've been like actually done fucking lot. Like you've got to be confident about. Yeah.

And when you actually stick with the emotions you're actually like yeah actually you know I'm a boss. That's very interesting because I think you're 100% right with that and I would do the same in terms of when I'm coaching someone else and I would make the same mistake as that I'll do all these things and I won't sit there and reflect on it. I'll just be like, okay, what's the next thing? And then always feel, like, not good enough or insecure or whatever it is. Whereas, like, you have a load of evidence there to tell you that,

you know, you can do some incredible things. But we don't ever, like, stop and reflect on what we've done to actually. And that's what, like, getting clients to share their wins basically is. Yeah, I literally said it in my talk on Friday, like making sure that you're celebrating every single win that they do and big in them up and making sure they believe themselves. And that's not just a about I don't change that. It's about confidence, but we don't do it for ourselves. That's very. Yeah. It's, it's so funny. But I think that's why it goes to show like everyone needs like a coach or someone to bounce ideas off because we all have these blind spots. It's like we're telling some someone to do something or like we're we're painting that picture for them to see how great they're doing.

And yet we can't do it for ourselves. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about stripping because I think that's really interesting. So like what first drew you. you into becoming a stripper and how long did you do before? So this is stripping is probably like the longest part of my lifespan. Really? Yeah, yeah. So I before going to uni, get my degree and all that, I just worked behind bars in like like industry.

Like that was what I did from the age of 17. And then I started working behind the bar in a strip club when I was 22, 23. in Lincoln, which is where I'm from. I don't know if you've heard of it. But it's a little city. Everyone knows everyone, but I was working in the strip club, and it was sick. It was a good laugh. And because it was in Lincoln, it was more like a sort of dysfunctional family.

Like we didn't have many different girls coming in. We always had the same girls working. Obviously different guys because stag parties and whatnot, just the nature of the industry. But the actual core group of people that work there were pretty solid. And me being someone that kind of struggled with my own identity and fitting in and feeling like I had a place, I found this place and this weird dysfunctional family. All the girls were great. The staff was great.

The manager ended up being one of my best friends. I felt like I'd found my tribe. Like I've got my best friends outside of this. Don't get me wrong. But I just felt like I had a place. Yeah. And a little misdemeanor on my part. and I ended up losing that job.

Come on, tell us what you did. I kissed a customer, but because I was female, kissing a male customer, the owners of the club are like, that's not on because she's female. And obviously the female dancers are not allowed to fornicate with customers.

So it could have, but I was wearing uniform. Like, I was definitely not in a bra and knickers. Anyway, they were like, no, it's not on. We can't have that. So they were quite strict. bosses. Oh yeah. Yeah. Because it, well, there are some strict clubs that aren't as strict, but there is a law. There is this

thing called the law. And you know, women aren't allowed to do this for money. Do certain things for money, sorry. Yeah. And yeah, so, but I was speaking to my manager who had to fire me on this, on the orders of the owners. He was like, but he was as gutted as I was because we were like best friends. And I was like, I don't want to leave. Like I literally found where I belong. And I was like, it was like, it's a, only chance I can come back as a stripper because they're not employed. Oh, okay. Right, right, right. He's like, do you know what? I'll ask, I'll ask the owners. And he did. And they were like,

tell her to take a month off and then she can come back as a stripper. I was like, right. So literally, like, that was it. Like, I wasn't ready physically, mentally. But I was like, I want to be back in this club. I want to spend my evenings here and make money, obviously. So I kind of just bring myself into it. what's some of the biggest misconceptions people have about a career and stripping because I presume not a lot of people have know about that kind of a career path and the ins and outs of them what looks like day to day so what are what are some misconceptions you've found in that industry or people think about that industry I think a lot of people think that the girls

I'm going to say we in this instance I know it's not I'm not that in that industry anymore Yeah. But we're just piss heads. We just go there, take advantage of money or get taken advantage of. We're degrading ourselves. There's obviously a lot of negative stigma. I think it's been turned around quite a lot recently with like a lot more sex work being prevalent in just day-to-day life. I think it was only fans and things like that.

But, you know, we would just get quite a lot of shit really. like you know you're putting yourself down you're worth more than you know who do who do would you say uh where that that all the negative um comments and backlash comes from do you think it comes from the general public do you think it comes from on social media does it come from like family where does it come from for me personally i say general public um not so much people in my circle like my friends and my family understood it i was very like forthright with it from the start because I didn't want, because it was in Lincoln and everyone knew everyone. I didn't.

There's nowhere I could have hid it for long. Yeah, you had friends and family in Lincoln, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the first thing I did was told my mom. I actually didn't tell my dad and he did find out. Did it impact your relationships at all or did they, did they grow to accept it?

No, they agree to accept it. I think like as my parents, they would obviously rather I chose a different path. But also, they can't deny that in that. time that I was doing it, I did it for 12 years, I was very self-sufficient. I was very, you know, careful. I wasn't relying on that in which I was a bit of a bugger for doing before, you know, because I had a lot of money. Yeah. I had a lot of independence and I used it well. I wasn't stupid with it. And like, yes, there is, um, there is that obviously the worry, like, especially from my parents that I'd get involved in the wrong crowds, do the wrong things,

do things that are illegal, but they also had to have that confidence that they'd raised a daughter that knew right from wrong. So here's a question for you then. So if you were in that career for, let's say, 12 years, what advice would you have for, let's say, like a young woman who's in a career like that?

How can you, like, survive 12 years in a career like that when making sure that, like, you do no harm to yourself? Always vet the clubs that you go in in, because some are dodgy. some will allow extras to go unnoticed and if you're not willing to do that then you can't compete with girls that are going to do that

so that's first and foremost like you're not from a business perspective that doesn't work also from a safety perspective if guys are expecting extras and you're not doing that we know what like I don't want to point the finger at men but you know how a drunk one could be if he's not getting what he wants and he's expecting

something and he's paid as well so safety is the first one like making sure that you are in a legit club that's going to look after you have you found like obviously you obviously were in a legit club like if you were able to be there for 12 years while also keeping yourself safe

do you think that's the norm across the country or do you think it's a mixed bag I think it's a mixed bag and I have travelled I've travelled the country a lot doing the job I had my set clubs that they were where I would frequent most weekends because I knew what was what. But as, you know, you hear in the industry in the circle,

like this club's really good, this club's really good. This girl made like X amount of thousands at this club, which maybe go try it. So we'd like travel around to different clubs. Yeah. So you walk in the door until you find out what's like. Yeah. So if there's going to be a dodgy club,

you're going to know about it straight away through someone else who's already probably done it. Well, potentially, but you might not. and you might walk in and have to complete a night there and she's like, right, we won't be back here. So always travelling like two or three of you. I would never go to a club by myself that I didn't know.

Yeah, yeah. What were some of the hardest parts of the job that people don't see? The effect it has on your perception of men. That makes sense because you probably, I presume, you probably see the worst of the worst, yeah. And it's not all bad.

Like I wouldn't have done it for 12 years if it was all bad. But seeing some things like you're just like, really. Like I don't need to know that about you. And then that obviously puts strains on any relationships that you might have or try to be building because it's quite hard to distance yourself once you're, you know, I was doing that four or five nights a week. So more than half my week I was Sasha.

and it's hard to switch that off and then just be like normal kind of girlfriend. Yeah. So is it, is a, because you're married now, aren't you? Yes. Did you meet your husband after or during your career? It was after, well, kind of after. I was only not doing it when I met him because we were in lockdown. Okay, right, right.

And the intention was to go back, but then I fell in love. That's interesting. So do you think it's, would you say for women who are in the industry? now, do you think that do you think for do you think for them to get into a relationship like a functional relationship that works? You think it's difficult to be in that industry

and also to have a kind of striving relationship. I think it's definitely difficult. It's not something I ever managed to do. Yeah. I've got friends like that have. They've been, you know, one of my friends she was a dancer 15 years, she's married for 20, you know, like,

but I think also the industry, and the world's changed. So when I started doing it in 2010, when I started, we were coming out of like the golden age of strippers because it wasn't as taboo. Like before that, it was different. So I feel like the girls could have had their family life and their strip life very much separate.

But then as we've like merged through into today and how things have changed and how it's less taboo and it's so out there, it's definitely going to be harder for a partner to accept it because it's not tucked under the table anymore. like everyone's out and proud of sex work or a stripper. Yes, yes. So, yeah, so everyone knows your business kind of thing.

That's interesting. What lessons or skills do you think you took away from that industry? That you almost can even take into your career now as a coach. Do you know, one of the biggest ones is, and it is to do with, I guess, body image, because I think there's a lot of like noise at the minute about your body being your business card as a coach. But as a stripper, as also starting overweight, like I started overweight. I was bodybuilding and stripping at the same time and then like coming back into this sort of normal shape.

Like the acceptance. Like everyone actually like something different. You're not defined by how you look. and if I could make money at all the different stages in my career based on how I looked, obviously it's not just that about how I look. It's about what's on the inside. And I've obviously got something to give. So that gave me a lot of like self-belief.

Yes, that makes perfect sense. So would you say like when your business was most striving or when you were most successful financially at least, it wasn't because you were at your smallest weight? Absolutely not. do you know, when I was in bodybuilding I made less money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I thought I looked sick.

Yeah. It's interesting, isn't it? Because I think that's what, like we all fall into that perception. If I only looked this way or if I was only this little bit leaner, then all the things that I wanted would come to me. But in reality, like, you know, if you feel like shit on the inside,

it doesn't really matter what size you're at or how much body fat you have. Yeah, people will see it. They'll see straight through you. Speaking of your husband The two of you seem to have a really good relationship Of what I can see from the outside and stuff like that And he was obviously with you there on the weekend

What do you think is the key to having a How long have you been married? It'll be a year in June Oh, congrats And what do you think makes a successful relationship? I think you need to understand each other on a level Especially for me because I've had insecurities And various different things going on in my life

I needed someone that actually saw me for me and was very like he was very open about everything that he enjoys about me and loves about me and we're just very I guess complimentary like we sport each other always big in each other up like I've decided that we wanted to move to Bali we need a business I'm like getting to coaching like you know your shit with fitness let's make this a thing and then we can like travel well we can do what we want just having that belief and support with each other. Obviously, communication is a huge one as well. Did you think, do you think you have that communication with him that you didn't have with other partners? I think it's been a process. I wouldn't say, I'd say communication is one of my weaker points. I'll hold my hands up to that.

But then he's a very strong communicator. She drags your log? Yeah, yeah, he carries me. what do you think has helped you become a better communicator over time? Spending time with him. You know, paying attention to what he needs from me and how I can best articulate that, you know, better and get across my point and be his equal, like be the person he needs me to be.

Yeah, that makes sense. I'll ask you a couple more questions, more so to do with coaching as well. So what is one of the biggest kind of barriers you see in your clients that prevent them from, you know, getting the results they want, achieving success, you know, things that even, you know, maybe you see in them what you seeing in yourself maybe when you were younger? I think it's definitely down to, a lot down to belief. Like they've just had so many hits and knocks and failures over the years. is so stuck in this belief that it's not going to be possible for them.

They feel like, you know, the person, like, it's all right for everyone else, but it'll that'll never be me. And that's something like I've struggled with myself with the, with the way and also in coaching. Like, that's why I threw myself into Friday. I was like, because I was like, you know, it's all right for everyone else, but I'm not them. Like, I don't have this presence.

I'm not like, like these people. So I had to prove myself that I was. So do you think in terms of that lack of self-belief and, you know, not perceiving you to have that identity, do you think that action needs to come first before you kind of reinforce that belief that you are that person? Yeah, I think so, definitely. Which is a hard thing as well if it's like, okay, you're constantly telling yourself that I'll never be this, I'll never be this, I can't do this, I can't do this, and then having to go and then actually do it. Yeah, yeah. That's where I said, but I think the performer side of me definitely helps

because I can put on a performance and get through it and then reflects back. And I understand like not everyone's like me, not everyone's a performer. But for me, like, I would say, I can't remember who I was saying it to on Friday. I was like, I think I would actually rather put on a G string and dance on that stage in front of you lot than do this talk. Then be, yeah, for the intellect that you're acting. that's that's funny it's like yeah it's like you even when you're dying inside

you just have to like stand up there anyway and do you know what I mean get it done and then because again like if you don't like you're always going to feel that way like if you don't feel that way it probably doesn't scare you and it probably isn't going to challenge it and you're probably not going to grow from it anyway so like like that's the cost of entry to

to grow as a way to grow as a person in any kind of degree of personal development or your career or anything like that, you probably have to feel like that. You have to feel like an imposter a little bit. You have to be like, oh shit, I'm not like on my stomach. I don't feel like I can do this, but you just have to kind of put on the brave face and do it anyway. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. All right. I've three more questions for you and then I'll let you go. So what's something that you used to believe was true that you no longer do? About myself or in general? About yourself. that

good question I would say it's definitely going to be something along the lines of the shy introverted unconfident person that I believe that myself that I was

but I keep proving to myself that I'm not but I still will revert to that I will still say I'm shy yeah so I guess I still do believe it a little bit but I keep trying to prove myself prove to myself that that isn't actually the case. Well, you know what? It's interesting

that because it's like even when you, and again, it goes back to the kind thing that we're talking about, like even when you're scared to do something and you do it and, all right, you've done it, but it's still then, I think it has to be like done multiple times over to

reduce, but not, like, that voice in your head will probably never disappear that I'm the shy person, I'm the not confident person, but at least it's probably a lot smaller than it would have been if you didn't do the things that actually challenge you.

Yeah, definitely. Like when you asked me to go on the podcast, I was like, oh God. Oh, no, if the talk is they're going to hear me. I didn't, like, and you know what, ever, I don't know any person who doesn't feel like that. Like, I've felt like that multiple times, but I think the more podcasts that I do,

that voice starts to, you know, just reduce, reduce and reduce. I don't think it ever completely disappears. Like, let's say I didn't do a, podcast for like six months then the next one I do I'm going to be like oh shit I'm about to go on a podcast or something like that but like it's when you

repeat and it's the same probably in the gym as well it's like if I hadn't been to the gym and ages and then I go I'll get a little bit of anxiety my stuff like door but like when I'm there constantly every day it's like I don't think about it as much because it's just you're kind of in a flow with it then yeah

yeah I guess you're definitely right there yeah and I suppose it would be even the same with you let's say you did a talk next week as well with the 60 coaches. Like I don't think you'd feel as nervous or anxious as you probably might have last Friday. And then if you do it every week, it's like the act of doing something over and over again, you're constantly proven to yourself that, okay, you can do it. So then them internal voices kind of quiet down a little bit.

Yeah. And the first time is like stepping into the unknown, isn't it? So that was. It's awful. And I think it's a good reminder for us as well. It's like, okay, for you walking into the gym might not be scared. though at this stage, all right? But you walking on stage and delivering a really, really important talk is going to be.

But then, like, you feeling like that is probably the exact same as a client having to walk through the gym for the first time. So it's important, like, to be able to remember what that feels like. Yeah. So then you can empathize with it. Yeah, exactly, because it's like, oh, now I remember what it feels like to be in that, in that position. And I know I had it with myself as well.

I remember, like, when I was younger, I walked into a gym that I didn't know. I got all the way up to the door and I had like a panic attack and I had to turn around and walk away and then sometimes I have to remind myself that when I have a new like client coming in like how nerve wrecking it actually is for them to walk through the door.

Yeah. Like it's a big thing. Yeah. Yeah. And having those reminders for ourselves because we're so much further down the line in our journey is important. You're right there.

Yeah. If life taught you one lesson over and over again, what would it be? you're a great performer I don't know maybe that maybe if you can't be confident just perform anyway

perform anyway yeah I like that though it's it's true you know yeah last question I'll ask you Cheryl so what would you tell your younger self not to protect them but to empower them so let's say you in your 20s

in your early 20s What advice would you give to your younger self? I would just try and get myself out of my head about my physical appearance because it is probably the least important thing about myself. Like, and, you know, I got bullied as a kid, like a teenager. For stupid things like the size of my bum, I literally, I would go back and be like, that's going to be fashionable in 10 years. Like, I didn't want that.

The girls. Flaggingly are going to be getting BBL very soon. Literally, literally. But yeah, I just literally drum it in that what you look like is the least important part of you. It's the least interesting part of you. You've got so much else going for you and you'll do so many amazing things. Love that. And any last pieces of advice for, let's say, your clients listening or potential clients,

people who are, you know, in that position where they're struggling with, you know, getting the transformation that they want, they struggle with self-image, they struggle with body image. you know, they're constantly trying to look for the next diet to, you know, become the smallest version of themselves as possible, thinking that that's going to make them happy. Would you have any last words of advice for them? Yeah, like we don't need to shrink ourselves. I think physically and emotionally, spiritually, we do not need to shrink ourselves, like take up power. I know it sounds like quite a feminist thing, but so many women are shrinking themselves, not just physically, but, you know, making them smaller, making themselves less heard

when really we've got all this power now, like step into your power and embrace it, embrace who you are because also when you are happy with who you are and what you've got going around you, then the body will follow. Yeah, yeah. It becomes, it could be, it all, everything else becomes a byproduct of you, you know, feeling, and the best version. Strong and confident and happy. Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. Charlotte, if people wanted to go to find out a little bit more about what you do in terms of work, if they wanted to kind of ask you any questions or if they wanted to follow up on coaching or anything like that, where can they go to find you? Best place is Instagram and it is coached by Cheryl.

And Cheryl's with a C, I know. All right, deadly. Well, we'll put it in the show notes and listen, thank you so much for today. I really appreciate your time.