The Uneducated PT Podcast - Ep.150 Self Harm On The Rise

Episode Date: April 16, 2026

We speak to Stacey on all things young girls struggling with self harm and social media. 

Stacey, can you tell us a little bit about what you do? Yeah. And also why that's relevant in the context of you speaking at this event in February. Yeah, so I'm a guidance counsellor. I've been a guidance counsellor for about four years. I've been in three different schools. So in Bray, down and Wicklow, back up in Dublin. Desh, mixed, boys, girls.

So kind of a mix of everything. Okay. And guidance councillors these days would be different from, say, when we were in school. But these days... In what way? When we were in school, it would have been... you go there for your careers appointment and that's it. Now students are being referred

for personal, social, educational and vocational needs. So whether that's bullying in school, mental health difficulties, anxiety, depression, all of that stuff comes through me first. And then I refer externally. Obviously, we know that there are so many, like, resources that are not available for students. Young people at the moment,

CAM's waiting list is like six months. Jigsaw, even hearing Bray is like eight plus weeks. You know, like, so I hold the space for the young people first. Sometimes they don't need to go any further than with me. Yeah. But a lot of the time they do. Okay. So, yeah, I work with mental health, young people's mental health every day.

And have you noticed, let's say, like a rise in people entering your office throughout the last couple of years? Yeah, yeah. Even, I think, obviously since COVID, people are, you know, being, I suppose, advised, you know, seek help. Should you feel X, X, Y and Z? Yeah. But I definitely. feel like we're becoming more accepting as a society. So it's like, even if there's a niggle, go and speak to somebody about it.

So some people don't know what's a guidance issue. Like, when do you go and speak to a counsellor? Is it because your one looked at me in the hallway and she's wrecking my head? Or is it because I have this thing inside me that is just ongoing and I just don't know how to bring it up. I don't know how to say it to my parents, for example, because they would be a different generation again. Yeah.

So, yeah, like, even I have a waiting list in school. Do you know this with kids now, would they like know the therapy terminology very much so compared to older generations? Psychobabble, yes. Like they're like, oh, I'm triggered. Or do you know, that way, like they'll say different things. And I'm like, well, no. And that's my job then to step in and educate them on what's appropriate. So, like, you know, kids these days, they're always like, I'm going to kill myself or I'm so depressed.

Or like, I have Matt's next. Like, that's so depressing. So that's when you kind of have to step in because there could be somebody. in that room who is feeling that way. But they then feel like they won't be taken seriously because it's just like a public it's just a throwaway comment. Yes.

So yes, they know it, but then when I say, what does that actually mean? Yeah. Then they kind of sit there and think like, I actually don't know. I suppose that's the double-edged sort of making something normalized

and then people using it out of context. Yes, exactly, yeah. Like they know how to use it in context, but when I'm a moment, mask, okay, so define that for me. Yeah. They're like, I don't know. I just know how to use it.

Do you know that way? So I do a lot of education, so I do classes as well as one-to-one appointments. And I do educational stuff like, you know, let's discuss what generalisation means or personalisation, like taking on other people's feelings. They actually don't really know what empathy is. And that's kind of the foundation to mental health, is to be able to connect to other people, whether in a therapeutic session or not. But they don't actually know what empathy is, and yet they can still feel triggered.

So it's like there's gaps and part of my job is to be able to figure out where the gaps are and to try and fill it with factual information. Do you know that way like what they're seeing on TikTok is not factual information and having to go back and then for them to give them the skills to be able to say well is the information I'm seeing on on TikTok actually real or not. Yeah. And some of it is and some of it's not. Is that the hardest part of your job is navigating the facts that they've grown up in a TikTok generation? No, actually. The hardest part of my job is probably wanting to fix everyone's problems, but obviously not being able to because I'm only human. That's probably, you know, a child might sit in front of me and be talking about things that are happening at home that's completely out of their control. And all I want to do is just take them and put them in my pocket and look after them. That's probably my hardest job. Or if a child says something, because I'm in a local apprentice and I have to report it and they sit and they're begging me asking me like, don't report it. But I have a duty of care to that. young person and I have to. In the end, they might hate me for a few days or a few weeks, but in the end, you know, it's for them and they do realise that. But those things are probably the hardest thing. It's like an moral thing for me personally when you can't, when that boundary

starts to come down to have that boundary up all the time and to make split decisions. Like you, if you were in with me for an appointment and you say something that concerns me and the conversation's flowing and then I have to stop you and say, okay. okay Carol, like you've told me this. That's a really important piece of information that I'm gonna need help with. Do you know that way? It's making those decisions like, do I stop them now?

They seem to be getting everything at you know what I mean? Like it's, yeah, it's probably that personal side of me as a human that's probably the hardest part of the job. What are some of the common issues that these students have when they come through your law? Like what is it that the UC is coming up that young people? are struggling with most. Depends on the age group, to be honest.

Depends on what time of year it is. These days, I'm seeing a lot of self-harm. Yeah. Around 14 to 16-ish, that gap. Girls or boys? Girls. Yeah, yeah. That skinny talk thing is all back now,

so eating disorders are also on the rise. They would be two main ones that I see day-to-day, generalised anxiety disorders that're coming in and they're like, on all this medication that their doctors have put them on, they're not getting any sleep. but they're not doing anything for themselves. What does your day look like?

I go home and I go to bed. You're like, okay, well, where's the connection? Where are you getting out of your default mode network and into your flow state? Like, what part of you is helping you? And a lot of the time they're not because it's their fault, but because they don't have the skills, parents aren't parents anymore.

Parents are afraid of this talk because they don't know. And that's fine, that's not their fault. But they also are the primary. educators of their children. Yeah. And they continue to push it back on the school all the time. And I'm willing to help, but I'm not the parent.

Mm. You know? Why are they, why are they afraid to have them conversations? What's changed? I think lots has changed. Stigma of that generation. So the generation of parents, of the kids that I'd be teaching now, yeah.

Would be maybe 40s, 50s. And I have siblings in that age bracket. So I can see it. Those are the parents that are saying, if you ever need anything, come to me. but they're also the parents that can't hold it because they've never been taught to hold it they haven't had their emotions held for them

in the same way that their young people need their emotions held so while they say I want to be there for you they don't know how to be there and because of the stigma passed on from their parents that intergenerational thing they don't know how to ask for help and again it's not their fault it's just that societal influence generation on generation

and unless you're passionate about it And unless like you've actually had a mental health crisis in your own life, you're not going to know. You know. Why do you think self-harm is on the rise in, you know, teenage girls in that age bracket specifically? So through my work, so I obviously do a lot of like upskilling and CPD and stuff. And through my work with young people at mental health, a lot of, it's not an attempt at their life. A lot of what they say is I'm trying to, not in their words. Yeah.

But what I put it down to is they're trying to move the site of people. pain. So if they're doing, if they're experiencing anxiety in their brain and it happens inside the middle of your brain in that kind of rumination place, they don't know how to get out of there. So instead they take the pain somewhere else. So they might end up doing any type of self-harming. It's not always the conventional cutting blades, that kind of thing. It's not always that. There are other forms, more hidden forms that you might not see. What would they be? So I have seen burning.

I have seen hitting your head against a wall, specifically if they've long hair, back of their head against the wall. So if there's bruising, things like that, they wouldn't see it. And I suppose, like, for me, if somebody discloses self-harm, I'm not like, oh, my God, that's awful. I'm like, okay, what does that do for you? You know, so to destigmatize it in a way, like, that's not your fault that you feel that way. They're just trying to move the sight of pain. So if they're feeling something deep in their brain, then if they move it to their arm or their leg or whatever, it kind of pauses it for a moment. Which is exactly what we do when we move the rumination, that overthinking out to our prefrontal cortex and we get into that flow state.

That's, you know, mindful coloring and your puzzles and your gym and you're running all of that stuff. That's all there. And that's why that helps, you know, mental health struggles. But they have not been taught the skills to do that. So that's their, you know, especially like, I remember Tumblr years ago, it was just a whole thing. Do you know that way? Like, it was just like, oh, you feel this way and this is what you should do for that. Yeah.

Do you know? And I think that that's what's happening now for that same age group. Yeah. And it's not until they come to me. I'm like, okay, let's try something different. When you feel like this, why not do this instead? And I'm like, let's see how long we can do that for before you feel like you have to self-harm again. So they might, sometimes they're like, oh, like, I did self-harm and I'm sorry.

and they start apologising to me and I'm like it's not you know you don't have to apologise to me they feel an obligation then in the agreement that we have to uphold this you know whatever they take on if it's mindful colouring or puzzles or whatever it is that they enjoy

to do instead of their self-harm then they feel a sense of guilt and with that sense of guilt then they might feel worse and continue to do it so it's just cyclical but if I get a disclosure of self-harm I have to because I obviously

I'm just a professional. I'm not the parent. I'm not the primary caregiver. So I do have to report that. But I can still hold that space for them until they're seen outside. So whether that's CAMs or anywhere else, any even private counselling. That's interesting when you talk about flow state and rumination. I suppose it's probably more common with young girls to ruminate more as well. And even in terms of flow state, I know myself, like when I'm having a, you know, a low mental health day, there's nothing I like more than going out for a run or going out for a high. or just kind of moving or whatever it is. And I suppose like you can't really, you can't think your way out of a thinking problem. You have to sometimes use the body as well.

Absolutely. And you're probably seeing then with a lot of teenage girls is that all they're doing is going to school, going on their phones, and that's obviously not conducive to... Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, and like sometimes, like I do lessons around,

like I always do like exam, stress management, that kind of thing, expectations of themselves, social comparison, all of this. And I'm like, first question. I'll ask is like, so what are you doing for yourself? And I'm like, what you mean? I like to scroll, I like to watch Netflix, and I'm like, okay, I get that,

but what are you doing as well as? Okay, you're watching a movie and then a theme comes up that puts you right back in that space. You're scrolling on Instagram, TikTok, you see something that puts you right back in that space. Why not do something that take you completely out of that space? So for me, that's yoga. I always give that example.

I'm like, I'm in my body, I'm present in my body, and when I'm in my body, I'm not in my head. You know that way. So it's like, same with running. I haven't experienced the runners high yet. I'm waiting to get there. I've been told it's coming. I'm like, I can't get there yet.

But for me, it's yoga. It's like if I'm totally present in my body in the here and now, the past doesn't exist anymore. The future doesn't exist anymore. What only exists right here right now is right here and right now. And what I can do right here right now will affect my future choices. So if I'm worried about what's going to happen next week or the week after, or even next year,

what I do right here right now will influence that later. So if I'm sitting about here thinking about next week, I'm actually not in the present. I'm in my head because the only place the future actually exists in my head.

Is that something that they could implement in skills, like things like yoga or is that something that already happens in regards to kind of getting kids out of their head or off their phone and, you know, into their bodies? 100%. So there's a huge movement now

towards like well-being and like every, education expert in the country will be like, oh, well-being, it's that trigger word. It's like, yeah, yeah, well-being, whatever. But it's actually just, it's mental fitness. Yeah. So the same way as you go to the gym for your physical fitness, if you are resilient enough to be able to carry weight in your brain, in your head, it's that mental fitness, that mental flexibility. So I bring it into my school, so we have it. I'm actually only training to be a yoga teacher at the moment because of what it's done for me in my life. And I'd love to be able to pass that on. But I'd love to be able to pass that on. But

I do bring it in to the school where I am. I don't know what it's like in other schools. I don't know if there are practitioners, maybe as passionate about it as I am. I also don't know what's kind of coming up. Do you know, in other schools? They might have different themes coming up in their schools. So things might be different, but it's definitely coming.

It's just slow. The education system feels like it's the last thing to respond to everything. You know, like we had training recently and it was like, oh, do the X, Y, and Z. And I was like, that's 15 years too late. Do you know that way? And it's only coming now.

So we'll probably solve today's problems in 15 years. You know what I mean? Can you tell us a little bit about the upcoming event that you're going to be speaking at? Yes. So with the three panels, it's a team, I suppose, of people trying to influence one another to hopefully instill this sense of community in the locale to say, it's okay not to be okay. It's okay to feel your feelings. And if you see us around, know that there's a familiar face that knows, that feels, that can be there.

You know, I think in a stage or in a, yeah, stage of life, I suppose, where we are the most connected as we've ever been. I could literally pull out my phone and phone Australia right now if I wanted to. Even though we're so connected, we've never felt more disconnected. And I'm hoping that this event actually does bring that sound of community and that connection back to the people who really need it.