The Uneducated PT Podcast - Ep.152 - Anna Give The Lads Dating Advice

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

🎙️ Episode 152: She’s In The Way (ft. Special Guest Anna) This week we’re joined by special guest Anna for an unfiltered conversation on modern health advice, constant communication, and the realities of dating today. We kick things off with the controversy around Joe Wicks from marathon advice to extreme takes on sugar, ultra-processed foods, and whether influencers are overstepping their expertise when it comes to nutrition. Should people really be taking health advice from social media at face value? From there, we dive into the impact of constant communication are we more connected than ever, or just addicted to the dopamine hit of notifications? Has messaging killed the ability to miss people, and is it quietly ruining friendships and relationships? Finally, Anna puts the lads in the hot seat as we get into modern dating texting habits, red flags, ghosting, and what men are getting completely wrong right now. Expect honest opinions, a few controversial takes, and plenty of moments that’ll hit close to home. 🎧 Topics include:Influencers vs real expertiseThe dopamine effect of constant messagingDating, texting & ghosting cultureMale vs female perspectives

Because we just, we just come on here and just, you know, bitch about women. So I thought it would be more healthy if you came on. If we had someone to target specifically, you may. Yeah, we're just going to, we're just, we're just having you on here to shout at you, basically. The man's just want to know what they're doing wrong. I haven't heard you as bitch about women, to be fair, honest. No, I'm only messing.

We obviously turn off the recording and then do that. I'm heavoured, I'm heavut. We've just brought you on to try and prove ourselves not part of the manisphere. Oh, right, okay. Now, we, this is a, this podcast is a very, it has lots of value in this podcast. So that's why we got you on as the professional to talk about nutrition, obviously. Okay, so it's a professional angle. It's a professional angle.

Now, we're going to talk about show Wix. We're going to talk about constant communication because this is something that I want to get your thoughts on, all of your thoughts. and then we'll put you in the hot seat in terms of dating perspective from a from a woman's viewpoint but before we go into that i'm going to get rob to start because you just said you said to me that you don't know much you don't think you know much about joe wicks so give me give me your surface level opinion on joe wicks see when he's made made that he's made himself viral again um did a lot of good for for the youth and like getting them active and into well-being and stuff

and from what I've the very limited amount that I've seen about him recently has potentially damaged a lot of young people's views of how to look after yourself and what's good for you and what's bad for you potentially. What do you think, Jay?

I wouldn't say it was recent. Like, wasn't he talking about ADHD a while ago and how highly processed food was the cause of ADHD. Yeah, he, he associated your diet with... Yeah, and that was a while ago before he's come back with this fucking protein bear, and before that he was flogging his books.

I think he's been a bit of a fucking twat for a long time. It sounds like that's trying to shock, because the ADHD thing, like, yes, what you eat and what you drink and what you consume and how you look after yourself is going to affect your attention, like, in a way, but it sounds like he's just grabbed onto that. and run with it to too much of an extreme.

I didn't hear that bit about it. Yeah. Well, I don't think me eating ice cream as a child is the reason why I have... You never know. Did that trigger you? What? Yeah, I would say it would trigger me

because I'd heard a doctor say it before as well. They were like, well, if you change how you're eating, it will help with your symptoms. And I was like, I eat pretty well. Also, I know. Like, I know what medication I'm on, so I'm fairly sure that's not going to be the thing that would change us. You know, increase your fruit and veg and all of a sudden you'll be cured. Anna, as the professional in the room, what do you think about, what's your opinion on Joe Wicks, first and foremost?

I don't think it matters what my opinion is, to be honest. Like, we've all got an opinion. he's very representative of like you know RFK he's like like an English RFK you know putting out this absurd extreme nutrition advice when it isn't necessarily qualified to do so he's definitely I agree with what he's definitely had their positive impact in certain ways on getting people to exercise which is like that's his 40 you know so it's a classic thing of like stay within your lane he's come out recently and previously and spouted some absolute rubbish in relation to nutrition. And I just think that he's claimed with the latest thing that he's come out with that

it's been taken out of context. But anything that he does isn't even within context anyway. So I don't know how we can take it out of context. I seen that and I, when he said it was taken out of context, I was like, well, was it taken out of context? Because I actually listened to the podcast then and I listened. And exactly what he said was, I've run a marriage. with no water, no toilet breaks, no food.

The average runner, if you had a bowl of porridge and a banana, you're going to get around. That doesn't sound like out of context. He's not, he's not saying, oh, that's what I did. I just, you know, it was just an impulsive decision. Like he said, the average runner, if you just have a bowl of porridge on a banana, you're going to get round. and you know as someone who runs a lot I would never suggest that advice to someone who's trying to run a marathon for the first time

yeah and the reason that he said it was because he read a book and then was inspired by this book to just go out and run like basically raw dogging so not going to the toilet not eating any food not drinking so he basically said in his response I did this because I was inspired by this book but I'm not saying that everyone should go out and do that but then in the clip he says the average runner relies too much on all of these other things,

you know, the essential things like carbohydrates for energy. So it's like, well, what are you saying, Joe? And so I'm at a point now with him where I just wonder if it's just all a bit of a publicity stunt because he's never been so talked about and so much in the media. And it's like, actually, are you actually a really, really clever businessman? It's like Trump of the fitness world.

This is exactly where I was going with this because I'm kind of getting, like, I never really jumped on the Joe Wicks, you know, hey train. And this has been going back since, you know, you know, James Mick. kind of angle themselves against him to build publicity against the hit workouts and stuff like that. And, you know, I actually thought like James Smith was right in regards to what he was saying,

but also it's like, all right, now you just have a load of people just jumping on the Hey Joe Wicks train because, you know, it's popular to do so. So they're just looking for engagement themselves in regards to that. So I never really kind of bought that. But it's only been in the last kind of couple of years, maybe even the last year. It's like he's had so many things come out in regards to the ADHD thing. in regards to protein bars and now in regards to that as well. It's like he speaks to so many health professionals on a daily basis. You know so many like really intelligent people.

I don't think, I think he knows what he's doing. I think, I think he clearly knows that some of the, some of the things that he says, the takes are, are awful takes. Like I, in no possibility do I think that he doesn't know what he's doing. So that's why whenever he says, oh yeah, Everyone always frames criticism against them by first, you know, oh yeah, he's a really nice guy and he does all this for children and, you know, he's great at getting people to move their bodies.

But it's like, no, you don't have to, you don't have to frame that first. You can just criticise what he said because what he said is essentially misinformation. I also find him annoying since his recipe videos. Like when he first started, before the whole James Smith and everyone jumped around, like listening to him cook something and like, a little bit of pepper, a little bit of this, and then laying in 50.

No. But you mean you don't do that in your recipes? I don't talk like that. You're a little liverick-O-Ix out. My food is great. You can get back in your fucking boxes. The Limerick's your wicks. It's already fucking begun.

It hasn't lasted. I'm just going to go for the rest of this. No, I totally agree with you. I think people, especially in our industry, people try and jump on the trends. And they will base. their opinions on what the people that they follow are doing. And it's like, actually just be brave enough to have your own fucking opinion and own your

own personality. And yes, of course, that's going to come with people who don't like you. But like, again, it's that self-development thing of like, well, you have to be okay with that because not everyone's going to like you. And if everyone does like you, then you aren't putting across your authentic self. And whether they, you know, I don't know Joe X as a person, so I can't comment on him as a person or what his intentions are. I don't know that I used to believe his intentions were good.

I don't know that I still believe that. I think these intentions are financial. Yeah, I agree. Because obviously, you can't read, you can't know, you can't know for certain what someone's intentions are. But there's just been too many things like, because I can, I can give anyone grace for saying something ridiculous and being called out for it.

And it's like, all right, we all say things that, you know, we might reflect and be like, yeah, maybe my take was, was wrong on that or a little bit stupid. But it just seems to be more and more constant where it's like, all right, that this is creating a lot of, a lot of engagement for me now. I don't know I've just been to a

literally just like in the last hour been to an undergrad nutrition public health campaign session so a load of the level five students are doing these public health assignments and they had to do a stall based on whatever topic they were they'd chosen so it was like UPFs

GLP1s, fibre, sustainability all up to date current stuff and I heard misinformation from nutrition students and one of the reasons that the lecturers had asked us to come in as master's students was because they were like, it's really important because they are influenced by social media that we have as many perspectives as possible talking about this stuff because misinformation is like a virus.

It just spreads and it's very easy when it's based on a grain of truth like Joe Wicks, you know, yes, people can under fuel and people can manage to do things without fuel but your mind doesn't get you through that, you know? So it's like how do we decept all of that and pull it apart? And then we've got nutrition professionals who are also influenced. It's really different. Yeah. And then you have to think like, right, if there's, if there's students who are actually studying this, you know, getting confused.

Like imagine how confusing it must be for the general population who will look at someone like Joe Wicks as a health expert and think what he says is, you know, is gospel. but does the look at him as being a health expert because I think there's probably two, well, three things. He's deemed as successful because he's got money. He's got a family. He's got all the things that the blueprint tells you you should have. He also has a huge social media presence.

So he's got that superiority complex with him. And the third thing is he's in shape. So why wouldn't people listen to him? He's got all the things that make someone, you know, be listened to. Yeah. But do any of them thing actually? qualify him to give nutrition advice, no. No, but that's, this is the problem then is like the general public aren't going to be

questioning that because most of them don't follow dietitians or nutritionists or people that will be like their algorithm isn't going to show them that side of, of, of the internet. It's just going to, again, it's the same thing with RFK as well. It's like people are just going to follow them and just assume that they know what they're talking about because people don't have the time. in their days to be experts on these things. They have busy lives. They're obviously just going to assume,

well, that lad, he loves training. He loves, he's focused on his health. I assume he's going to know what he's talking about in terms of his nutrition as well. Yeah, and if you're struggling yourself as well, and you see some guy on the internet saying something really confidently and smiling and like you say, looking healthy,

you're going to see comfort in that, aren't you? And you're going to be like, oh, this happy guy cares about me. I'm going to put my trust to them, which is dangerous. Go ahead, yeah. It's the approved societal aesthetic. You know, money, big following,

looks fit. You're going to, you are, like, that's what people look at. You don't want to sit there and listen to a nutritionist or a dietitian spout all the research to you because it's just people who are like, blah, blah, blah, no, right,

that makes sense, great. But that guy looks great, and he has loads of money. whatever he says is obviously working. Yeah. And he kept it simple and he said, Jaffer cake's a bad for you. Cool.

Simple message, trust them. Yeah. So how do you come about that? Anna. I've just had this conversation with the students. I think a lot of it comes from the bottom up. So like there was a really, really good store there that was target. And it was using a behaviour change model.

I'm going to bore you with all of this stuff. A behaviour change model to target pay. parents, education, because more and more of seeing parents who can't cook because they haven't been taught to or they haven't grown up with access to certain cooking equipment and things like that because we know that that like inequality gap is just getting bigger and bigger. And things like, people like Joe Wicks, things like the Zoe diet, these things are making this gap bigger, which is one of my biggest bug bears. It's not just like people say, oh, what's the, what's the, you know, the bad thing about

misinformation? It's just, you know, it's just someone saying something. And you're like, no, it has the power to do harm. So I think they'd really, really done a good job at targeting parents in a way that is accessible, it's budget friendly, they can incorporate into the day-to-day busy lives. And then from there, they were targeting the kids through the parents because until we start to empower kids and educate them, you know, we see it as kids get into the teens, body image starts to struggle, like these things on social media. We aren't really going to change much from the top, I don't think. Who do you think has more influence on kids these days their parents or their phones?

Oh, the phone's 100%. But if they aren't coming from a good foundation, because like my mom said to me the other day, we should have to have a license to have kids and I totally agree. Because the amount of people, like she works in schools and the amount of people who have kids and either, you know, for lots of different reasons

and we won't get into that today. We might. Well, we might, you never know. and a lot, you know, most parents, I will say, are doing the best with what they've got, but a lot of their shit just transfers to the kids. The kids then go through this huge trauma response and try to navigate this fucked up world

that we're in as best as possible. So it's like, right, well, there has to be some foundation there for kids. And how do we support kids to be critical thinkers? We educate them and we teach them about the world and we don't demonize things. And, you know, so again, it's like empowering kids with the basic skills so that when they do get, you know, tempted by the phones or whatever else, it's like, okay, but I've got a bit of nons about myself to think about it.

Do you think it's wild that we still don't, like, nutrition isn't a common subject that's taught in skills from an early age? Is it? No, no, I don't think it is. Is it? No, no. I got to how to make scones and a kish. I think that's all I learned at school.

I'm going to try. We never got that. I wish I got that. Yeah, we, um, we, um, we, we didn't do much. It's not, some schools are bringing it in. Some schools are trying to bring in like healthy lunchboxes and things and stuff around

that. But the basics of like energy balance and food isn't taught. I think they did in Japan. Is that correct? Does anyone know? No. He's spreading misinformation. Yeah,

yeah. The misinformation that in Japan schools are, they're taught about like, oh yeah, you should eat vegetables and fruit and like all their, their meals are kind of based around that and yeah they're like this is delicious. I remember reading it on Johann Harry's book about a connection, I think it was. Yeah, lost connection.

Yeah, lost connection, yeah. There was a study done in France as well, which I thought was really interesting about how people talked about food. So the more that people told themselves food was delicious and enjoyable and whatever it was, the more the aid of that food. So generally, French people have a really, you know, negative concept of all processed foods and don't want to include them because they don't, they tell themselves that all the other food is what they want. Yeah. So there's a lot of power in your mind in that sense.

Yeah, definitely. Okay. Right. I wanted to go on to constant communication as the topic at hand and overwhelm of constant communication. So first I'm going to ask, Jare, do you? Do you empty your chat box every day? My chat, like, WhatsApp and WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok if you're into that kind of thing. The whole riddled with ADHD and the tism I do not.

You don't certainly do. Like, I actually say to people, if you haven't heard back from me in a couple of days, you need to message me again because I forgot. Okay. So that does, yes, good. So that doesn't bother you. You just, you just. And how long

would you, would you just leave, so let's say with someone message you would just leave it there for eternity if that's the case. No,

it always gets to a point maybe in like a week, maybe two weeks where I'm like, oh shit, I never responded and then I'm like,

I flicked out and I'm like, oh, there might be a brief moment I'm like, it's going to feel weird now sending them a message. Sometimes,

most of the time I do it. And they know, I think everyone knows at this point that like, if I don't scroll down my screen once and see your message, then you're gone. Here's a question for you. Do you think it's rude not to respond to a friend on WhatsApp or social media?

I do see what I do as rude. You do see it as rude? Yeah, I take notes, but like, I also, like, I have a lot of people. Do you think people should have constant access to you like they do these says. No. And like that's the thing is it's my fucking phone. And so like I find, you know when someone's texting you and you're texting over and back and then they just decide to call you. I generally won't answer the phone. And I'll text them back whatever they were asking beforehand. They were like, oh, just answered the phone. I was like, no, I'm not,

I'm not committing to a phone call. You can have a text message or a voice note. Don't really like voice notes, but like you'll get a text message. What do you think you are? you know what if people do it to me I don't get fucking upset what about you Rob do you do you empty your chat box do you get up

do you think that's rude not to respond to messages off let's say friends and like do you would you regularly empty your inbox if I looked if I could screen share my WhatsApp inbox at the moment

and my Instagram and messenger I probably have an accumulation of at least 50 unread messages Right. Screenshot them and send them in with nobody. There's a couple of people. I'm just texting people.

You will. Sorry. Go ahead, Rob. Sorry, go ahead. That's in the archive. So you obviously don't think then it's rude not to respond to friends or family. If someone didn't respond to me for a long time, I think, I used to think.

I used to think that was really rude. Not necessarily rude, but I'd take that as like a personal slight against me. I'd be like upset that they hadn't thought of messaging me. But like through experience of my own and of friends being like, oh, well, I was going through this, like lost a grandparent lost. Do you think that you need to justify not respondent to a friend or a family member? I used to do it every single time. Every time I message back, I'd give them like an essay of why.

and apologising for it still but like trying to explain why just to justify it but recently I've kind of just started saying thank you for being patient with me here's my response rather than just being like... So AI yuck

it's AI because that's what chat GPT told me to do I just kind of I forgot Anna what's your opinion on do you like do you have set any boundaries do you have constant communication do you empty your chat box every day. No, I do have this like, I think this is it, I don't know what this is, what I can blame for this, but I like to have me to-do list done and I'm a bit like that with messages.

So I either have like a plan of when I'm going to reply or whatever it is because it's like I have to empty my head with it. So I've recently got a personal WhatsApp and a business WhatsApp and it's changed my life. I do I think it depends on the relationship so like there's certain people who I it takes me no effort to reply to but then other people that I'm like

okay I need to think about that response or whatever it is it also yeah it depends on how much I value the relationship as well and I think like you Rob I definitely would have taken it as a personal attack in the past depending on what I'm expecting from the relationship and I think a lot of it's about managing expectations.

Big thing that I do with clients is like setting expectations of when I'll reply and when they're going to expect a message back. Because otherwise, if they think they've got you're in your pocket, then they're going to expect that. And I think us as coaches, we probably are on our phones a lot more than most people, even though people are on the phones a lot. Like we are glued to our phones. So it's very easy just to be whack and replies back and then thinking,

and why aren't people replying to me? Yeah. Like it's a lot then to think that, I need to set off, I need to set this time to answer 20 messages to clients and that's business. And now I need to empty my inbox and message, you know, these people back who are my friends. And then, you know, go onto Instagram and answer these DMs that could be, you know, people reaching out for help or whatever it is. Like that's just you constantly give them access to people all the time. Yeah.

It's why it's why I don't like the way I do things. I'm good with it at work. I'll respond and I'll get that done. But then it just, I think it's because of, I'm surprisingly for my inboxes of work, I'm regimented with that. But as soon as I'm done, it's like, oh, I could not be asked.

Just come find me. If you need to talk to me with something first, just find me. I'll try and call me so that I can ignore you. Yeah, yeah, busy. Do you think, that constant messages or here's do you think that having a WhatsApp group with all your friends in it or like this ease to be able to contact people do you think it has lowered the quality of

friendships and relationships yeah in what way i think it's it doesn't necessarily it doesn't it doesn't it hasn't necessarily but it can like i think when you've got that when you've got a group chat going on and there's constant messages in it, you then you'll look at the messages and think that you've been a part of the conversation even if you haven't contributed and you haven't actually been there physically. So you can try, you get that kind of fix in your brain without the actual social connection. Would you say that you have like friends in your WhatsApp group who you think that you've like seen often and then you realize that you haven't actually seen them in months but you feel like you're still close to them because there's a WhatsApp group going to where people

messaging it every now and again. Yeah and you create an image in your head of what they're actually doing based on how they're interacting with each other if it's a group when actually you have no idea what actually happened when they were when they were together. You've just kind of picture memories that you've got. So do you think that's kind of like a low quality friendship or relationship that you believe in your head is probably closer than it is? It's definitely sure answer no, not necessarily, but I think that. I think that's think it kind of it makes you think like if you haven't seen them for 10 years and you keep seeing these messages popping on you think you've had that relationship with them for them 10 years

okay so actually the relationship you have is the one that you had 10 years ago you and do you think that's here's my here's my question so do you think that's a net positive or a net negative on the relationship oh depends typical answer what if you I probably I would say it's a relatively negative outcome. You've been able to stay in touch, which is great if otherwise you wouldn't have had the opportunity. But if they're down the road somewhere, going and seeing them would have been way better. Anna, go ahead. If you weren't in the WhatsApp group with them, would you have spoke to them?

I guess that is when you can work out whether or not it's a net positive or negative. If you never would have done, it's technically a positive, because you know what's going on in their lives, unless it's taken energy away from other people. But if you if you would have spoken to them individually, if you hadn't got your fix in that group chat, then actually it's a negative on what you could have had because you could have spoken to them directly

to find out what they've shared in the group. There's also conversations you can't have in the WhatsApp group. So like the WhatsApp... None of my WhatsApp group. No, depending. There's certain... Like obviously there's fucking jokes. and things that'd be said in a WhatsApp group, fine, that's grand.

Most of us would probably get cancelled if they looked at our WhatsApp groups. But it's the more personal conversations. Like, we went out Friday night with the lads. I'm not going to say what we talked about, but that stuff needed to happen face to face. What does talk about? No, I'm not fucking telling you that. Just a little hint.

No, personal things. So this is, this is what I'm trying to get at. I'll let Anna answer this one. Do you think like the constant access to each other through text message, through WhatsApp, through social media has destroyed our ability to miss each other? Yes, 100%. I think in relationships, I think I'd say in romantic relationships. I think in friendships, in other, whatever it is.

Like my man, for example, would have a panic attack if I shouldn't hear from us twice a day. I factor that into my life It's very low effort for me to do that To make sure that her anxiety Doesn't go through the roof So that's something that I can manage And I'm happy to do that However, I don't think it's

A positive I'm very lucky, I think I don't have a lot of friends, right? And I think I'm very lucky in that sense I have a select handful of people I'm not really in a lot of WhatsApp group I'm not in like a group with 30, 20 people whatever it is

So the conversation that I have are quality conversations all of the time, no matter how often I speak to people. I do think, though, when you are establishing or you are having a relationship with someone, romantically, it can definitely take away that ability to miss someone because it's just this expectation.

I would also argue that sometimes I think, and I'm not saying this is the case, but sometimes I think when you're in these big WhatsApp groups, especially guys I've witnessed with a lot of guy mates, is you can be lost in the ether and be struggling away, and nobody really sees that because there's all this banter going on. And actually, are those friends or acquaintances?

So when I say, are you speaking to them on a one-to-one basis, it's like, well, are there somebody that you would reach out there and speak about personal stuff? Or do you just have the small talk when you see them, how's the misses, what's the crack, what's going on? Or would you actually touch base with them and say, right, let's have a bit of crack and meet up or whatever? 100%.

And I'm in loads of WhatsApp groups with big numbers as well. But mostly I created. But no, but I completely agree with what, and I said, because like, it took me a while to realize that actually I haven't spoken to half of these people in, you know, months, years even. Or it's kind of a thing like, you know, it's someone's birthday. So, like, it's very, it's low cost to just send a happy birthday into a WhatsApp group and you think that, you know, you're close with that person. But when is the last time you actually made the effort to, sorry, it's that person's birthday, go up to their house and, like, with. them happy birthday, have a cup of tea with them or whatever it is, or like make the effort to go out for food once a week or even once a month. It's like a lot of people, especially lads, think that they have more friends than they do because of the illusion of constant messaging on WhatsApp, on social media.

But then it's like, how many of them people have you actually spent quality time with in person? And I know, like Jair said, you know, sometimes you're going to have someone who lives far away, who you are really close with. And it's nice to be able to kind of, you know, keep an eye on what they're doing in their lives and stuff like that. But I think that the danger of it is it gives the illusion of closeness with people and that closeness may have been long gone for the last 10 years. I do find lads are also crap at organizing that quality time. Yeah. like you really have to kind of keep like I am like we talk about

the different WhatsApp groups and stuff like the core old friend group we are good and bad at getting together we've really like there's a lot of different schedules you're trying to put together but the conversations when you're when you're around each other you can call them heavy

they are heavy you don't there's no small talk there's no fluff and people want to know how you're getting on you don't get to say I'm fine. No, that's, and I think that's the difference then when, like, it's nice then to have those WhatsApp groups, we're just sending in stupid gifts,

fucking pictures of points, and you know when you actually get to talk to each other, either one-on-one or through the phone, that it's going to be a proper conversation. But that's the difference between friends and acquaintances. But do you team, right? Sorry, go ahead, Anna. Sorry, I was just going to say,

I also think I've got a lot of admins who, that's how they communicate. And when they get together, they have the deep chats and they do all of that. But other than that, they communicate through me, and gifts and then it's like but if one of them's in the shit they'll ring each other and it's like they know when and that's again a proper friendship but here's the question do you just think that we fall into the trap then of because you can see someone on a regular basis online that you don't miss them as much so then if you actually didn't see them as often online you probably would miss them more and therefore you would probably reach out to see that person or make the effort more

Do you think it's creating less effort in people to maintain relationships because they're almost believing in their brain that they're seeing this person on a regular basis? Yes and no. I see your stupid faces online every day and I miss hanging out with you. Yeah, see? I still have made it that it wasn't too sensitive. Okay, let me bring some bullshit back in a video. Yeah, I feel I feel all icky inside because it's too powerful. Yeah, see then.

Look how uncomfortable is. I want to hang out with you. What do you mean? What do you mean you like me? Miss you too, Jan. My avoiding nature is coming. I regret. I regret being nice.

I need to leave. I need to leave. I need to know something. I need to watch myself. Rob, what do you think? What was the question? Oh, right. Social media ruined your friendships.

I think I probably did that. No, I think it's a mix. So for me, personally, if I don't see someone's face relatively regular, I think it's like an object permanence issue that I've got in my brain. Like if I don't communicate with that person or see their face, it's not that they don't exist. It's just that they're not brought to the forefront of my mind. And then I find it difficult to think what's going on in their lives,

like how should we interact over? So if I see someone online that I actually like, it might then go remind me, message that person you were thinking about them. It's a reminder. I think if you see someone too often, then yes, if I see someone too often, yes, it has that negative impact.

But if I don't see them online, unless, I was going to say, unless they really, really mean something to me, they possibly won't cross my mind, which has probably flipped my answer a little bit. So you, so you're saying then that social media has created a net positive on your friendships and relationships. No.

It's helped with certain people. I'm confused. Yeah, me too. I don't know who my friends are. Let me think about that for a bit longer. Apparently not. Okay, I'm going to go back to Anna and I'm going to ask this question. So has texting ruined dating?

Hmm. In my opinion, there is a place for it. but it's got a shelf life and you almost have to move with it so like fine you know message get to know someone but for me then you have to have some kind of face to face contact you have to have something like if you're just aimlessly messaging

for weeks months and you know there's no say if you've never met you're online dating or whatever and there's just these messages going back and forth but you don't know if you like I'm very authentic in when I meet someone that I need to know like what they look like, what the smell like, how tall are they? Like, all these things that you don't get through a phone, even through FaceTime, it's just not the same.

So I think it's got a place. However, if you're in a relationship then and you feel the need to always be messaging or, like I spoke to somebody who said that their niece replies to her boyfriend with AI because she's so busy. So I said it again. So a friend of mine, her niece replies to our boyfriend, use an AI because she's so busy at work.

Oh, jeez. and I'm like I mean I don't know the quality of the relationship or anything but if you're applying to I mean anybody with AI I would be questioning I think I read something like that I think I asked you I read this to you on the podcast before where it was like

someone's AI boyfriend was talking to someone's AI girlfriend in regards to keeping the relationship going that's sad I mean if that's the world we're living I want to stay single that's mad isn't it but at least it takes all the work out like I'll be honest

the thoughts of having to message someone back and forth to keep a relationship going would kill me inside. Yeah, yeah, me too. And because you, again, you do it for work. Do you know what I mean? I hate texting people. Now, I resent, I resent texting anyone. I resent texts and my friends. The lads will know the minute this podcast goes off, I won't even say goodbye to them.

I just turn it off. But I think that's just constant. That's something else. well it could be as well but all right but anyway the reason that we'll move on what do you think broth

I lost focus in terms of the connection you text you text a lot of girls that you're potentially going to see so what in what way do you think that helps or hinders the connection I'll retract your first statement

but I don't like it I used to think it was important and I used to think, oh, if they haven't replied to me my text within like half an hour, they don't like me anymore. But again, developing security of myself and knowledge of what other people go through, that's not a thing anymore. And it almost annoys me when people message back really quickly because it makes me feel like I then need to. And I'm like, why didn't we just have a phone call? Especially, like I kind of said, early on in getting to know each other, I think texting has its place to begin.

with but you can develop an image like reading a book you can develop an image in your head that actually isn't what the author intended it to be like the person that you're meeting could be very different if you've had a month of texting them and building an image in your head so i i tend to quite like to have like at least a phone call if not a video call if if a in-person meetup can't happen within like a week or two okay do you want to do can i read us out my so so this a conversation came up or this topic came up because I was reading a substack article on it. It's called the constant communication epidemic, right? So I'm just going to read out like a little part of it and all these can kind of understand why I brought this up. Right. So every time your phone buzzes with a message from

someone you're interested in, your brain releases a small hit of dopamine, the anticipation before you open it, the relief when it's positive or the tiny anxiety when it isn't. This is the same variable reward mechanism that makes slot machines addictive. You don't know if the message will be good, neutral or slightly anxiety inducing. The unpredictability is what keeps the loop running and over time your brain starts associating the relationship itself with this dopamine loop rather than the actual person. So the relationship becomes a dopamine delivery system which means the moment the dopamine slows down, the moment communication becomes less frequent or less intense. Your brain interprets that as the relationship dying because your neurochemistry and for your neurochemistry they're the same

thing this is why people in constant communication relationships panic when someone takes a few hours to reply the anxiety isn't about the person it's dopamine withdrawal and it gets worse so the constant contact also prevents the neurochemical conditions that genuine desire that genuine desire requires desire needs distance to build oxytocin releases more powerfully during reunion after absence think about how good it feels to see someone when you've genuinely missed them that feeling is oxytocin oxytocin doing exactly what it's evolved to do but if someone never really leaves if they're always there in your pocket sending memes and there's no actual absence to create the conditions for that release you've replaced deep periodic reconnection with shallow constant contact and you're

your nervous system is bored even if your anxiety is through the roof now that's good isn't it does it doesn't make sense daniel it doesn't make sense to me now because i hate texting people like i i i don't get i don't get like dopamine hit from someone messaging me i'd rather block them but i understand for for yeah go ahead secure attachment please call as well because if you think about if you've got quite an anxious attachment style. I'm definitely not secure, Anna. It's not a secure, I was about to say. It's definitely not a secure attachment.

I think I'm on the opposite side of that. But I guess it's how that plays out in your life. Because if you, depending on what's going on for you and like what your attachment styles like, what your previous history's been like and all those things and what your rejection's been like and all that kind of stuff, it's like, whether it's a text message from a certain person,

whether it's the treatment that that person's given you, whether it's a phone call, whatever the communication forum is, is it what you're basing on that, not just a text message, but, you know, other things as well. I think if you've got an unhealthy attachment style, whatever it is, whether it's insecure,

whether it's anxious or whatever, then you may well put more on something than what it actually is, if that makes sense. Yeah. Or attach more to something in it what it actually is. Yeah, I think it is. Do you like, do you any is get that when you're texting someone that you've just met and, you know, the text comes in and you get quite excited because it's someone new and it's exciting?

Yeah. Yeah. You know, all fucking pussy's afraid to say, yeah. I say ass about it. So that's that's that's that's what it is. It's a dopamine hit, isn't it? But it's like if you can constantly get that on your phone, then that's obviously an issue. But is this not the problem with with a lot of date and stuff as well because it is.

That's what's designed for. Yeah, it's designed for that. It's designed for you. It's this catalogue of people. And it also, it feeds into so many negatives with relationships because it's creating this idea that like, oh, well, the grass is greener. Or, you know, this one isn't tick all the boxes.

So I'm going to go to the next one. And it's, it's inhumane. Yeah. And that's what, like, you swipe with someone and then you get a match and then you get that dopamine release. And it's never about the person. Then it's about, oh, yeah, I got a dopamine release. And then you want to do it again and do it again and do it again.

So the person is forgotten about it. forgotten about then and you're literally just chasing the dopamine release. And do we not all base relationships on how they make us feel, whether positive or negative? Like we all want people in our lives who make us feel something, whether it's an emotion, whether it's like something about yourself. And I think whatever that is, like that's what we want in our lives. And I think like you touch on before, but when you see somebody and you're like, all right, actually, I know I need to reach out of them. Like, again, we make an effort with people because we're getting something from it because we're inherently selfish and that's not a

bad thing that's how we survive so again it's like if you're seeking certain things for certain reasons then that's maybe going to lead you down an avenue of going for certain type of people or certain relationships yeah but does that mean like are we creating an environment where we need constant stimulation from people and then you end up getting in a relationship with someone and if you're not constantly messaging each other back and forth and there's any sort of boredom you can't handle that as a person now because you have been you've grown up designed to get constant this constant reward loop of messaging a new person or swiping right or whatever it is yeah i think yeah i think for some people there will be conditioned depending on what their experiences have been i also think

there's a lot to be said for consistent communication over constant communication and a lot of people like get the two misconstrued. So they think consistency is constant. I need to be constantly thought of. This person needs to be. I need to be the priority of this person. And actually, that is an unhealthy coping mechanism.

It's like you need consistent communication from someone. And that's shown in very different ways. And a lot of people maybe might not have experienced that or, you know, might not know what that looks like. I also think with the friendship side of things, if we're taking away the in-person and stuff that probably takes more effort and time, then people's lives are just getting busier and busier.

And I've got some friends who are having to, like, slot each other into the diaries. Like, literally, like, you've got a two-hour window here, but that's the only time I can give you in three months, and you're like, fuck off. That's not an effort to me. Like, there's no way in three months you've only got two hours to see your best friends of 10 years. Like, so it's because we're now having these gaps in where we would see people, whether it's dating, like, whoever it is,

It's like everything's becoming faster and do you know what I mean? We're being programmed for efficiency rather than like depth of connection. Yeah. And then you go and meet someone and you're not really there because you're thinking about the next thing that you have to deal. Yeah, and you think it's to do with them. Yeah, you think it's to do with them boring you, but actually it's you not really given them the time of the day

to process who they are as a person. So what are you saying, Rob, are our brains fried? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. We're fucked. We knew that. We already knew that. What about my brain being fried?

Yeah. Is your brain fried? I'm talking about all of us. I didn't say just you. Yeah, that's fair. Okay, we need to put Anna in the hot seat before she goes. Sorry, Colby. Just quickly, what would you say is the, like, what's the ideal dating scenario?

Like when you're stipped or talking to someone? Ooh, I short answer, don't know. and that is why I'm still single. The ideal, the ideal. Like if you're not exter, do you know? I'm a big believer in not putting all your relationships into one person. So I'm a big believer that, you know, you have friends, you have work friends, you have a like community of lads, you have, you know, you're a partner,

you have whatever, loads of different kind of outlets. So for me, it would be, okay, whether you're, you're meeting someone online or in person, kind of like what you said in terms of, you know, not constant communication, but consistent. Although I'm like, I'm just full of shit by saying that because I am very inconsistent. All right.

Exactly. But if I was, if I was the ideal human or the ideal partner, it would be like even if it's, you know, seeing someone twice a week and then it was just for, for an hour or something like that, in person, it's consistent. and you're where your feet are. So you're not thinking about, you know,

doing your other things and stuff like that. But I also wouldn't want, like, when I'm, when I'm not with my partner, I don't, I want to be where I am, like, whether it's work or whether it's with friends. And I don't want to be hounded to be like, oh, well, you know, why haven't you texted me back? or, you know, just overbearing, smothering. And that's in a relationship, but that's also in like my everyday life as well. It's like I can't,

I'm not going to open my Instagram inbox and message you back. Like, even if you're, even if you're a close friend because I just, I don't find, I find it surface level anyway. So I would rather, I'd rather, you know, meet up and go for food and talk to you rather than having this kind of constant access to me at all times. And then I just feel like I'm drowning in, you know, other people. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Does anyone agree? Anyone agree with me? Just feels like you feel trapped all the time. I feel, I feel smothered. When you said he liked me earlier, I was like, oh my gosh. Yeah, run away. What are you doing you say, buddy? Cancel the podcast.

But we're going to kiss. I feel like if you think that person's smothering, they're not the right person to be dating, or you're not the right person for them to be dating. If you, I know you're just saying it fleetingly, but if you think that dating someone and seeing them twice a week for an hour for a consistent period of time is...

I'm not attacking you, Carl. But if like two hours a week is the relationship, and that's what you're assigning to it, I wouldn't class that as a relationship that you want to be in because realistically, if you're meeting someone, you ideally want to be with that person for as long as it ends up being.

So, yes, if you only have an hour, cool, see them for an hour. Yeah, but Rob, do you not think relationships, like the whole point is that, like, most relationships these days, they start like a fast train and then they die. off whereas like realistically I would rather spend two hours with my best friend who I've known

for the last 10 years and build an actual relationship with over this person that I've just met and yeah there's potential here but like I only know you so like I'm not going to have so many things to do I'm not going to spend the next 10 hours a week with you I yeah so you haven't even earn that right if it's early days then yeah I get that but if it's like you've been seeing now not like if not like we're getting married and I'm only seeing her twice two hours a week I'll see you at the wedding and then goodbye for a week but even then if even then in terms of a relationship like I even if I was married to someone I wouldn't want them you know hanging out of my pocket either I always say this like my ex was very much like we had to like be one person and live our lives together and it was smothering and we hence why he's next but I used to always say I have to have my my life, you have your life and then we have a life together. And that to me is the healthy mix of the whole situation.

Yeah. I think so. All right, well we put Anna in the hot sea? Yep. Okay. And we're all cromically sick. All right. Anna, the three of us are chronically single, so you're going to help us solve that, all right? So first question I have is, what's something that men think women care about but actually don't at all?

Oh, God. What's something that men think women care about. Other than hopefully the obvious. Yeah, I was going to say. I mean, this is probably going to be like through my own lens. That's okay, that's the lens that we want.

Women's lens. Materialistic things. Or like being kind of whined and dined. So the majority of girls who I speak to, women that I speak to, don't want things that don't want things like they want gestures and I think they're two very different things

okay second one and then I'll let Rob go so statistically men are dating less than ever before is it because men are worse than ever before or women's standards are higher I mean my standards are through the floor at the minute so I wouldn't say that I wouldn't necessarily say men are worse I think men have probably never been as self-aware and emotionally mature and, you know,

have done more self-development than ever. Like, you know, if you think back through generations, I think the gender gap is wider for lots of different reasons, which is causing a problem, whether it's that women are... Can I ask you a question? This is... I have to make a personal as well. Would it, would it bother you if your future boyfriend or husband earned less money than you?

No, it wouldn't bother us at all. How much less? I wouldn't care as long as they could support themselves and whatever life we wanted to live. Good answer. That's a politician's answer. All right, last one. What's the biggest mistake lads are making

in dating right now? Oh, fuck. Sorry, Ger. Go on. Give us, give us some tips. I mean, I'm hoping none of you three are doing this because I'll fucking care. Give us a whole list.

Go. people just stop it just have a conversation even if it's that you're a piece of shape if you caught if you've ghosted here I'm gonna kill it I don't I don't ghost anyone I ghost everyone I don't I get them to leave

I don't even I don't even I don't even get to that stage so it's No but I was gonna say what point are you ghosting them He makes them leave first the second text Fine like that's absolutely fine But if you're meeting up with them and then ghosting them We're having words Yeah that's fair

right because so go like just honestly just send someone a message because especially if somebody has like

there's so many things if someone's got previous insecurities and you're just not replying to them they will come up with an answer in their own head

and that's not fit so if you give a shit about humanity stop ghost and people and the second thing is yeah but what are lads what are lads

do what are what are the mistakes that lads are making right we're thinking about lads who are chronically single here. Well, that one probably is because even if it's not a mistake for the women that you're speaking to relationships, you are treating women like objects or commodities or whatever phrase you want to use. And if you see them as that, you're going to reduce your ability, potentially reduce your ability to develop a human connection with someone because you already see them as disposable.

Well, and also you're dilute in the pool. So like if a lot of women are being ghosted, by or vice versa, like because women ghost guys as well, but if people are being ghosted and then the quality of dating is going down, you know, so people's expectations are getting lower, hence why my bar is currently on the floor. So,

but to me as well, communication, like get your ego out of the way and fucking communicate. If you like someone, tell them that you like them. If you don't like them. How soon should you tell someone that you like them? I don't think there's a soonness. Again, like Rob said, if someone's the right person

or the right person, they're not going to be scared away by it. If they're mature, they're going to be able to communicate. What's your opinion on love bombing? Being a recent victim of it. I struggle to recognise love bombing because my ADHD makes me just want to fall in love with everybody. But I feel like, emotions a lot, like quite strongly.

So if somebody's saying to me, if the connections, then everything's going great, and somebody's saying to me, I really like you, I like spend time with you, I'm always going to have my red flag signal up a little bit and be like, okay, is this a bit of a red flag? But if I've got no reason to question it, then I'm not going to question it.

So love bombing, I'm an easy target for that. There's this great meme, and it's, I wasn't love bombing. I really did love you for them three and a half weeks. I thought that was pretty funny. Yeah. Like I had a guy recently who invited me to a family party And I was like, it's a bit soon for that

Like, you know, it's been three weeks And he was like, yeah, totally respect that, you know, blah blah blah In hindsight, that probably should have been a red flag And then I was ghosted and I'm like, How would you go from inviting someone to family party To ghosting them? And Jay was like, because that's love born. Yeah, that is.

It's intense emotions straight away And then the complete opposite, isn't it? Where you want a slow burner. They're trying to make you what they want at the end goal or that relationship, what they want at the end goal. And then kind of freaking out when they haven't managed the steps up to that point. Well, I mean, that also ties into what we talk about with constant communication. It's that dopamine loop of, already, something exciting, someone new, texting, this dopamine rush that you're getting. And then the minute, you know, that dies down and you get bored, it's like, okay, on to the next dopamine here.

So, Carol, you need a slow burner, like a half an hour a week for the first month. and then maybe an hour slow building it up. This podcast is about Anna. It's not about me. So let's kind of frame this back towards Anna. All right. Anyone else?

Someone give Anna a question. Go on. So I've a few times over the last, I guess, a couple of months, been asked the question, how long have you been single? How much does that actually matter?

Oh, that's a good one. Oh, good question. I, again it's going to depend on the girl right like but I don't think it it matters I think if you've never had a long-term relationship that sometimes stands you in bad stead um why because people like to know that you are able to whether this is right or wrong people want to know that you were in a failed relationship well I think people want to know that you know what it's like to be in a long-term relationship I think is the thing.

But again, if you've never been in a long-term relationship, that doesn't mean that you're not a good candidate. Does it matter? Does age matter in this context? What if someone has never been in a long-term relationship into their 30s? I mean, that... That face tells us everything. Yeah, yeah.

For anyone listening to... For anyone listening on an audio, she doesn't approve. But this doesn't have to be like a five-year thing This could be like an 18 month Do you know like I've had a medium A medium relationship Do you know just something where you've Give me something

Something like there's been some level of commitment to somebody That like you would be able to be faithful Of that person for that amount of time or whatever it is But I think when it comes to like How long have I been single If it's 10 years or like you know I've dated in between that or whatever I haven't met the right person

It's to me it's not necessarily a negative Because you've got standards You've got things that you want I think the problem that a lot of I don't know if guys have this a lot of girls have like a tick box and it's like right well you don't tick that box so that's it you're off

you know you're off the list Is that not quite toxic? Massively yeah and I think the biggest thing that everybody are toxic too guys I think the biggest thing that everyone should consider is

how you talk about an ex yes I think that's the so even if it's a I've been dating someone for six months it's like right well how how do you talk about them what do you mean because if everybody else is the problem then you're probably excuse me what are also also the opposite if you're i guess if well i don't know about for yourself anna but if they're talking about them a lot quite frequently in a really

positive way then that suggests that they are still pining over that person so what's the what's the what's the happy medium here. Just never talk about exes. No, no, I have to, especially as you get old, like, I'm, I've just turned 36, right? I know it's not like old, but like, you know, as you get older, everyone's got a past, everyone's got a background, you have to talk about

exes, and I want to know about people's exes because I want to know more about them. So to me, it's not a negative to talk about past relationships, like you say, if they're talking about them and they're pining over them, or it's like, all the issues were on them, I think the best thing is like owning your flaws. I had a conversation with a guy, I was dating

once and I was like driving somewhere and I'm just chatting shit and I was like what would you say like is your biggest floor and he was like no one's ever asked us that I don't really know what I'd say to that and he's like what's yours and I was like oh this this is like do you know that'll be I'd give I'd give the interview answer I'm like I just care too much

yeah that's yeah that's why you're still single okay so so you so they have to own their mistakes they can talk they can that you want them to have an X even if it was just for a short period of time, they don't have to earn more money than you. How many relationships is too many relationships?

It's still my question time. Oh, sorry, go ahead, Rob. Go ahead. No, no, no, no. That's a good question. All right. Anna, how many relationships are, so you're dating this lad and you try to question on them.

How many people have you been with? Well, being with or relationships. We'll start with relationships. so they will move on to being like two. They're two different questions. Yeah. Honestly, Carl, I'm going to say. Tell the truth now.

If someone said to me, I've been in like... 50 relationships. 15, like, I don't know, whatever. I mean, one, I'd be like, how are you counting? Do you know what I mean? Like, how have you kept counting that? But I'd maybe question if they'd never been in, if none of them had lasted past like three years

or two years or something, I might be like, okay, is there something going on here? Is there a commitment thing there? It's not necessarily like, oh, that they're not a good person, but it's like, are you just afraid of commitment?

They're in their 30s. They've been in 10 relationships. Then I'm probably thinking that there's a commitment thing going on there. There's something that they get, there's a reason, either they haven't met the right person and they probably haven't,

but there's a reason why they can't maybe get past a certain point. I'd probably just want to know more. wouldn't necessarily be a massive red flag. Yeah. And they've been in two relationships, but they've been with over 50 people. Where are you pulling these numbers?

I wonder. Honestly, again, like, I've dated guys in the past who have had real issues. Like, I had an ex and I couldn't talk about anybody else that I'd been with. And it was really difficult because I'm like, whatever your judgments are there

like if you have you're going to have life experience so as long as you're getting as long as you're being tested like I don't want to sleep with every other person that you've slept with so as long as you've been safe and you're getting tested then you know I don't really say a massive issue with it unless you're a complete sex pest and you're not being open about that

how many kids should they have or can they have Oh I think So I've only recently opened up The idea of dating someone with kids Because I'm now at that age where I can't really avoid it So it would have bothered you before Oh yeah, I had a strict no kid rule

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah I didn't want to take on somebody else's kids But I would say in the last three years I'm at a point where I maybe don't want and probably won't have my own kids. So dating somebody with kids is a potential option. What if they had four kids?

I mean, personally, I'm probably... It's all personal? Well, I'm not going to look to date someone who's probably got more than two kids just because of the amount of time that it would take up in the life that I want to live. They wouldn't fit my lifestyle.

No, go on, go on, go on, go on. I want you to finish that sentence. The biggest thing for me is about, it's not even, I used to think everyone's like values have to be the same and, yeah, have the same interests and all that kind of stuff. And I've learned that that's not the case. You just have to be able to support each other's,

what each other want. Like, I truly believe that somebody should, whether it's a friendship, a romantic relationship, whatever, they should make you be a better person. So that's calling you out on your bullshit. That's supporting you to do what's important to you. that's allowing you to go off and have time in solitude if that's what you need. Like somebody should be able to work with you and I think that is important.

Good answer. Rob, give us your question. We've really much in the hot seat today, Anna, haven't me? It's a thing or is it just the wrong person? I hate the word ick. So do I. do you guys get aches? Yeah, but I've got it. You just don't like them.

I've got one thing that if anyone does it, my brain can't compute. Like it just freaks out. What is it? They want you? Eating with your mouth open or like slapping your lips while you're eating.

And like my brain just, it makes me angry. I want to punch anything. What do you mean slapping your lips when you're eating? Like just really noisy. Oh, right, right, right. So, yeah. I mean, that's just manners.

Just be a bit of them. Not like that. I'm not slapping your lips physically. What if she was really, really good looking? Nah, instant. You pause. Instant ick. See, do I? See, do I pause?

Just never eat with them and it's fine. The reason he paused is because Jair was right. It's like if you fancy them enough that you don't, I don't think you care about their icks. If you guys got things that you have to have, like, is there like a certain thing where you're like, oh, yeah, the girl's got that. I'm going there no matter what. No. No, no way. Sorry, said it again.

No matter what. Like, if a girl's got like, I don't know, X, then you're like, yeah, that's, that's, that's a winner. Like. A vagina? Well, to be honest, that's what most guys. I'm joking. I don't even, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm scared of. I don't even like that.

I'm just, I'm just, I'm just answering the question for, for men all over the world, you know. Realistically Really good Like you don't have like Any kind of I'm gonna use the word fetishes But I don't mean like sexual fetishes What I mean is like

Oh you've got a thing like Oh they've got like My things like Oh they've got really nice arms Nice bum That's a good question Jerr I don't think I have anything in particular

I think I don't know I don't think there's a like I like a woman I like a woman who can play an instrument I know I know where your brain was going there Rob but I actually meant like like like like a trad like it's like on it in a trad or something you know so I'm flus your tin whistle like a violin or something you know oh right yeah yeah yeah but that's where it could be like it could be like it could be an ick or it could be an attractive quality. Like, for an example, because I think it's downplayed how much you can actually be

physically attracted to someone. I think it's really important to have that physical attraction. Yeah. And I've dated someone before where like they ticked all the boxes but there was a certain body part that I just could not get past

and it's not what you're thinking. But I was like... It's not what you're thinking. You got a massive forehead. this wide his ears were swollen yeah but I think it's important to like to know what you're attracted to do and what you're not attracted to do

what boxes did he tick what was the body part legs his legs were skinnier than mine now that's a big thing with women though I've heard that before as well because I know a few of the girls would be the same they're like they won't date they won't date a lad who's smaller

smaller legs than them Yeah, I'm not, I'm not too Like, looks for me People get more attractive You know, there could be literally Brad Pittston in front of us And he's a dickhead And I'm like, you are the ugliest man in the world

Like attraction isn't about Yes, you have to have sexual attraction But it's not just about looks But there are certain things for me That I'm like, yeah, I couldn't I couldn't be lying in bed with you And your legs be skinny than mine Like I'd get the ache

What, what boxes did he take? As he said, he took all the boxes out and his skinny legs. So, like, the communication was consistent. It wasn't constant. There was never any small talk. I'm not a small talker. The connection was there. He made his laugh, we had fun together.

He made us want to be a better person. He was in my corner. Like, he celebrated the thing. You know, just there was all of those great personality traits. He was self-aware. He had a passion, I think, is really important. Yeah. none of that was about looks really.

Food for thought there, guys? I feel like you're all sitting thinking, I've got any of those qualities. Need to start squatting a bit more, I think. No, but again, like that might, that won't be a thing for all girls. Do you know what I mean? So I just, I think it's about,

it is about finding the right person, but it's just getting harder and harder to do that. I'm trying to think, what's the last hot C question that I have for you in regards, to men dating. Do you have any questions? Yeah, go ahead, Rob.

Go ahead, Rob. I can't take one right now. I don't really know how to wear it other than like if, so this is kind of charged from me a little bit. I'm really bad at reading signals unless it's been like a swipe right on Tinder or something. I'm really bad at reading signals

as to whether or not someone's interested in me in that way. If you see the signal, or you feel some sort of signal, is it always going to be damaging if you act on that, obviously politely, but if you act on that and it's not reciprocated? As in, like, putting yourself out there to someone. Yeah, yeah.

No, I wouldn't say so. I think, I laugh about this with the girls sometimes, and it's not in a derogatory way, but it's like girls think too much and guys don't think enough when it comes to dating. I think my guy mates anyway when I've chatted to them about it they're like oh I didn't even think of it like that

where the girls like massively ruminating on it and I don't know if you've seen that meme or the real where it's like it's a cartoon and it's like from a girl's on a guy's perspective and the girl gets a message and it's like hey good morning and the girl's like oh my god why hasn't he asked us out and the guy's like oh I've sent a really lovely

good morning text and it's these two different perspectives and the girls always like that's not enough it's always the negative and like overthinking and ruminating on it whereas the guy doesn't see that the communication isn't being received the way that it's intended. So I think with girls, we are predominantly crazy

and you have to over-communicate almost and just say what you're thinking, but do it in a way that isn't like, I want to marry you and I'm full on and, you know. No, I have another question on the back of that. When should a lad approach and when should they not approach? Oh, well, again,

girls will play hard to get so um they want to push you away and for you to still push forward but doesn't that then turn in that's just fucking ridiculous now i'm in jail because i'm harassed also the communication thing is a lot of products right there sorry Anna told me Anna told me to pursue and now I'm in court now I'm in court you know I don't mean physically and again And I think that's a massive issue Because I support of guys They were like, I wouldn't go up to a girl in a bar anymore Because you're gonna get some allegation made against you

It's a huge thing, yeah. Lads, Especially younger generation, stay down, approach women anymore. Yeah. Large groups are women. One of the lads got told to fuck off The last time he did it by a friend of the person he was talking to. Yeah, it's insane.

But then that's just fucking dickhead people as well. Like, I'm like, you know, and I get if you've had a bad experiences and stuff, I think if you're if you're gauging that the signal there and you're not really sure, like even just if it's say you're in a bar, like going over to someone and saying like, look, I don't know if you know you're interested or whatever, but this is a crack. Not expecting anything back. Like I've had some...

When do you not want to be approached other? Um, for me, for me. And this isn't because I'm like desperate to meet someone because I'm genuinely quite content. But I was thinking about it on me morning and walk this morning. I was like, this is probably the only time when I'm, I don't want to be approached because I'm in the zone. I'm clearing my head. I'm getting sorted for the day ahead.

Like, other than that, I would quite happily, like, if I'm doing anything else, someone come over and be like, I've just noticed you. I would like to give you me me number, blah, blah, blah. What if you only seen you walk and, you know, on your morning walk? Wait till you leave the bag. That's his only opportunity. Follow you around to the right. For me now, that's like, all right.

Like, you know what I mean, you can't even approach a girl now when she's on a walk, you know? that's my perspective because I haven't brushed my teeth I haven't washed my face like literally that's why it's like I'm at my worst now if a guy sees me then and wants to approach us absolutely but again that's from I'm quite secure and open minded

and I'm also quite confident walking around I don't really feel unsafe and things like that I think which is an anomaly as a woman so yeah of course there's going to be situations where like you don't want to be down alleyway and some guy comes over to give you his number because it's fucking creepy

but at the same time Don't approach, don't approach women in dark alleys. Yeah, exactly. Can you repeat that reason? I'm taking notes. I write that down for Rob. Hide and find the bin. Wait for his opportunity to ask someone else.

Unless that's where you've arranged your first date. I don't know where you take them off. All right. So I think we've, we have, you know, gone through some very important notes here, right? So what someone makes isn't that important. important. Don't approach in dark alleys. They can have at least two kids. What else? Also, never give up. Also, continue to, continue to harass them, even if they say no, because. No harassment. No harassment. Not harassment. For too, in a healthy way. Dedication is attractive, you know,

resistance is attractive. And also, it's okay not to, not. not to answer all your all your inbox messages. But it's not okay to have small legs. Yeah, and it's not okay to, um, ghost someone as well. Exactly all. I'm glad you took that away. Right. That's, that's the, what I got out of this conversation.

You could do a part two dating special. We're going to, I think we're going to half them. We're going to have to. We're going to have to. We've got a lot more to go in you. I feel like none of that comes with any context. And you guys are all now just overthinking everything. All right. Well, I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed a little bit of nutrition advice. I enjoyed the Dayton advice. I think we're all, you know, more knowledgeable, especially Rob, all right? What am I? I'm glad you're getting a big job. I have to go, but thank you, Anna. I appreciate it. All right.

Thank you. Bye, folks.