The Uneducated PT Podcast - Ep74.Josh Hubbard / Fatherhood

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

Family Coaching & Military Mindset with @jhubbardfitnessIn this insightful episode of the Uneducated PT Podcast, I sit down with @jhubbardfitness to explore the intersection of family coaching and military discipline.Drawing from his experience in the army and his work as a fitness coach, @jhubbardfitness shares how the structured environment of military life has influenced his approach to coaching families.​ The discussion delves into the importance of communication, consistency, and accountability—principles that are foundational in both military training and effective family coaching. @jhubbardfitness emphasizes how these values can foster resilience and unity within family units, much like they do within military teams.​Listeners gain valuable insights into how adopting a disciplined yet compassionate approach can lead to positive transformations in both personal and familial contexts. The episode serves as a compelling narrative on the synergy between military principles and family coaching strategies.

Hello and welcome to the uneducated PT podcast with me, your host, Carlo Rourke. The goal of this podcast is to bring on interest and knowledgeable people from all walks of life, learn a little something from each conversation. And for you, the listener, just learn something from each episode. So don't forget to subscribe to the channel, press the box below, show some support, and I'll see you on the next episode. Josh, tell us how you ended up in the fitness industry. Give us the entire backstory, how you ended up where you are today.

So I ended up and it was kind of like a really slow road. Like if you think about the actual fitness industry and being in it officially, it's been since like May 2021 when I started J. Hubbard Fitness. But it goes a little bit further back than that. So obviously at school, that was like one of the only things I excelled at and really enjoyed. And my GCSEs, I actually came out of school. I think there's like 11 or 12 that you could get. I ended up with like one and a half and the half of a GCSE was was PE.

So clearly I was all right at PE and the other one was English. So I've always enjoyed like sports and whatnot. But then when I joined the army back in 2011, that kind of segued me into more of sort of taking it a little bit more seriously because obviously like you have to be fit to fight and that's like your main role is you get paid to be fit and look after yourself. in order to serve like king, queen, country, all that sort of stuff. And it just made your life easier. And then after about five years, I think it was, of serving in the army,

I got the opportunity to go on a PTI course, a physical training instructor's course, which was like an eight-week intense crash course from both a physical aspect, which were absolutely thrashed. But then also the education was very thick and fast, kind of like when you do like your level three. but it was like in person. So it was quite, it was good.

And you could ask the questions. It was very, they were very knowledgeable in their sort of responses and whatnot and mentoring you. And then after that, and I got my badge of honor of being a PTI in the Army, I was then left to train like the entire battalion and get them ready for,

essentially for war. And it was like my job. I was in charge of like my company, which is like 100 blokes. And obviously you plan their sessions. you come up with the training program and then you just take that every single morning. So that was like chucked in the deep end

on an instructor level, public speaking in front of like 100 odd people being the SMI in front of that. And then when I got to around about 10 years into my career, I'd kind of done pretty much everything that I'd wanted to. And at this point, we had our first child, Esme, and at the beginning it was fairly easy to sort of just have sort of one child and still be in the army but then I started thinking of the bigger picture like if we had more or when she grows up

what would then be the plan like with me being away all the time flying here flying there so then I started looking at to what is if I was going to leave I initially started looking at becoming like a like a lorry driver or just anything that could get me out of the army but then realized why don't I do something I actually enjoy and I'm passionate about, which is obviously health and fitness and helping people. So then took the plunge around about, it was 2020, yeah, 2021 at the end of May. So it was like during lockdown when I was like lay on the living room floor on the rug and I just decided to make an Instagram page, Jay Hubbard coaching, launched a page,

expecting it to take off. It didn't at all. it was like a proper, proper slug, man. Like one client, like no clients for the first year, like one or two clients in like the second year. Laura kept questioning like, is this going to be all right when you come to leave the army? Should you go back to the army, Josh?

Well, luckily, I was still in the army at this point. Okay, okay. And for that sort of safety net. Yes. And just kept, just, I was just like, right, in my head it can't fail, right? it's just like if you keep rolling you can't it can't fail where do you think just sorry to interject there where do you think that mindset came from um definitely from for the military like

the mental resilience that we sort of do there but also um and i think this is probably like i'll try and like instill and talk about this quite quite regularly for for sort of our clients is like when you push yourself like physically around like when you are doing um any form of exercise. That's like a great opportunity to to literally like challenge that little voice that crops up and build that resilience and just go that one extra step, that one extra minute or whatever. And it can prepare you so much in like real life as opposed to being

in those actual dangerous life threatening situations. That's a great way to do it in a safe environment and challenge yourself and build that resilience. So from from doing that definitely and being pushed beyond sort of limits through the physical aspect and fitness. Yeah, 100%. I see that in I see that in entrepreneurs all the time like people who had maybe like a background in sport or a background in the army

or even for myself I think going through the physical challenges of trying to say fit and healthy and going through training I don't think if I didn't go through that process and you know build a bit of confidence through oh doing hard things and actually you know feeling the benefits of it

and then kind of pushing yourself more more when you feel uncomfortable the ripple effects that has a new like backing yourself to open up a business or whatever that project is that you want to do. I think it's a massive thing that people, not under value, but don't really recognize the benefits of that. Yeah,

100%. So what happened then? So you were obviously struggling at the time to get clients. You were still in the army. There was a little bit of doubt maybe. Yeah, of course it was, yeah. But like I said, like in my head, like, it's kind of, It's like weird.

Like, if I will say that I'm planning on doing something or I'm thinking I'm doing something, I always just think that it's going to work out. Like, and Laura will probably say, like, in quite a funny way, to be fair, like, my partner, like it's Josh Hubbard's way or no way. Like, whatever it is, it's going to work out, like, in any way. And obviously, that'll bite me in the ass nine times out of ten with sort of being like that. But it is very, it works in a great way, like, most times. So you only have to be right once

And then it's like you can be wronged them nine times But if it works out once Then it's like what you know what I told yourself It was going to work out again But I think I think you need to have that mindset Because it's the same way like It's same with someone like pursuing a weight loss goal Right like it's like you're training really hard

You're getting your steps in you're tracking your food Or you know you're trying really hard You're getting to bed early And like nothing's happened Nothing's happened And then if you just have the mindset Well nothing's happened So I'm just going to stop

then you're never going to get the results you want. But if like you're a firm believer that, okay, just continue to, you know, immerse yourself in the process, don't give up. And like eventually things do fall into place because you're essentially pushing the door down. Yeah. And I've literally had that conversation this week with a client. Like it's one of those frequent questions that doubt creeps in. And obviously that's your sort of role there is to sort of rationalise that, help them.

and then of course steer the course and then guess what they see that progress and it just reaffirms it to them that they can do that if they just sort of um have that conversation with themselves can't they yeah what did you learn about yourself during your time in the army like what what type of lad were you before you went in versus when you came out of the army completely like complete different people i don't know i don't even know if there'd be friends now if i'm being honest like um and and i've seen some of that you put up the other day actually about like nowadays

it's glorified to not sort of have children and that grind sort of culture and that hustle culture and you were saying like some of your best friends that were absolute lunatic one of a better word and then having a child

becoming a father is literally just put them to that next level and it's matured them and changed them and it resonated really really like so much with me because that's exactly who I was a young lad in the army living in London absolute tear away

even before that, a lot of drink, drugs from the early age of, like, 13, up to, like, mid sort of 20, like, 25, essentially. Like, the army didn't essentially cure that. It just invited me into, like, even bigger drinking culture. Obviously, as the army is, it's just full of absolute lunatics who enjoy it. Yeah. You didn't get up in the morning, go for, like, an eight-mile run, and then they're good to go. Like, that was, that was me.

Yeah. I was a proper lad's lad and then got to a point where I probably was kind of forced actually from living that lifestyle it catches up with you at a certain point not like physically physically I was still fit able it was more the sort of the mental

yeah burned out at both both ends of the candle essentially yeah absolutely in that anxiety like triple anxiety start to creep in and then I'd start to like use use drink to sort of mask that. And then that sort of opened up another sort of can of worms. And then I decided to go like completely sober.

And I went sober for like just over just over five years. And then that's when this all came about, to be fair. With me starting the business, having children and this is the person I am today, business owner, completely different, different person to who I was. Quality. And do you think like having that personal responsibility has really, helped you to be more of a responsible man. Like the fact that, you know, you have a business that you have to show up for,

you have a family that you need to show up for. Like, like, I presume, like a lot of people are kind of afraid of that responsibility, I think, but I think it helps people to grow as humans and build their character through having responsibility. Yeah, it gives you, and I know like everyone says, like, live life on purpose and you must have a purpose, but when you've got little tiny human beings that they has to be here, you brought them into the world in whether it is intentional or intentional. Like, they're your responsibility and you need to make sure you can, one, show up as that role model for them.

But also, give them the best life that you can, do you know what I mean? And that's what I plan to do is I didn't have a bad childhood. It was absolutely mega. But there's things that I want my children to experience that I didn't get to. So that's what my sort of plan is, obviously, we're. that. Yeah. And I want to talk to you more about fatherhood as well. But before I do, just so I don't forget, because you touched on how you were like training lads in the army and stuff like that as well. So what have you found where are the key differences between you, you know, coaching people in the

military and getting them fit versus like now essentially training civilians? So the main differences, the motivations are completely different. Like in the army, it's, if I'm being honest, in the I mean, it's relatively easy to motivate somebody because you can, you can give them burpees, you can give them push-ups, you can, you know what I mean, you can take them on the back area and you can like get them to run like different drills. They're in that environment anyway to train, aren't they? Yeah, exactly. So you could just turn that training into something that's a little bit more tailored to be, like,

torturous. Do you know what I mean? You can motivate them with that. And also pay as well if they disobey or if you disobey or do something that you shouldn't then you'll have pay taking off you, you'll get charged. So there's loads of different things. Get sent to prison. So motivation a little bit different.

But with civilians, like you can't speak to people like that. Like they're paying you to help them. And also from what I realized through my time in the army and through instructing recruits at that higher level when they were coming through, the instructors or when I was being instructed as well that were screaming, shouting, trying to like belittle you and just, just make your life hell. You never learn anything from them. Their message, their noise, it was just lost.

Like it just went through you, you just switch off to anything they say. So if they had anything valuable to say, you had zero respect for that person, so you'd never take it in. So that's the way I like to, I like to coach is being on that sort of human level and having that compassionate approach as to see and what it is that's actually causing that problem and trying to get the motivation from them as to why they want to do it. Yeah, that makes perfect sense

because when you're in the army, it's almost like you, you're just kind of blindly following instructions and they're going to do it regardless because of all these kind of external motivators and punishments. But like when you're outside of that, like the person in front of you has a choice

whether to listen to you or not listen to you, whether to do the thing or to not do the thing, whether to show up or to not to show up. and essentially instead of external motivators, you need to kind of create that internal motivation between themselves to actually do the thing. So it's like it's a big difference between coaching and instruct them probably.

Yeah, massively. And encouragement as well. And encouraging that person because most people probably don't really have anybody that actually believes in them. Like they probably did once upon a time like when they were little and their family, their mom and dad probably did when they were little.

But as you get older, there's not many people that you, have that really sort of encourage you and remind you that you're doing well and and sort of praise you. So that's a huge part of it because then it just instills that belief in them and they're like, you know what? Yeah. I'm glad you pointed that out because no one said that before. We're a good motivator. We all love being told that we're doing well. I love being told that I'm doing it. I love it. Validation. Absolutely love it. I don't think, I don't think, I don't care where you are in your life or your journey or how high up or where you're starting. Everyone, everyone,

positive positive reinforcement for something good that they're doing. So what type of clients do you work with now at the moment? What are the kind of struggles that they have when they come to work with you? So we work with women and I don't really put an age range on it, but we typically work with nobody under the age of sort of 25. It's like quite a broad bracket of like 25 to like 57,

no, sorry, 60, I think 65 is our oldest client. And to be honest, from the age of 57 and upwards, my ideal client, absolute legends. They're incredible, incredible humans. So yes, we work with women. And the majority of the struggles we tend to find are, obviously, weight loss is a huge one. That's the main thing that we sell is, obviously, we help with fat loss. But obviously, as you know, it's much deeper than that. We also, a lot of the struggles are women who don't want to be in.

the photos or they're sort of erased from that family memory because they'll go on holiday or whatever. So body image is also a big thing that we focus on within that. But then also, again, just trying to sort of capture the main sort of three, it's just having little to no activity or not having that education around what they should be doing in terms of those sort of how seeking behaviours from how to structure a meal, how to be active, how to be active, how to structure training, how long they should be training for. What are some of the misconceptions they have about weight loss before they start? What are some of the things that you see coming up?

Some of the things coming up are, again, like Martin, McDonald touched on this quite well with obviously the aggressive diet where everyone always says, I prefer to lose it slower because then that means I'm going to maintain it for longer. So they think like slow, and I'll completely get it. and in some cases, yeah, like sustainable fat loss is going to be great for that. But that's one thing they believe if they lose it fast, then they will regain it just as fast.

So I think that's probably like an industry sort of wide one. Yeah, I think that definitely comes from coaches, which like there is wisdom to that in terms of like, like if you're going to build behaviour change and habits, it's going to take a long time for that to happen. It's going to take, you know, a couple of months, if not years. But then people think that that has to be the same way, you know, reducing people's calories when in fact like if people see weight loss rapidly what does it do

it motivate oh my god i've got to lose three pounds this week so what are they going to do they're going to be more engaged in the process that they want to achieve so i think that's where a lot of coaches kind of get miss uh get a little bit confused about the actual the strategic uh the strategic way to lose the way versus the actual behavior change as well uh you have something on your instagram about the four five method i think it is and the spark method could you explain a little bit to the listeners what that is. Yeah, so the 4 by 5 method. This is, so all this came about recently from

I work with a girl called Ella. And the whole thing of this was, I've been trying to work on a client journey for, since I started, since I've started, I'm always constantly evolving and trying to like, how can we deliver the best journey and whatnot. And I was just going around in circles. And then I came across Ella from

speaking to Lewis. And the main thing that we focused on there was, obviously, building a client journey that's unique and then looking at your unique sort of processes and frameworks. And at this point, I didn't really have any. There were just like regurgitated things from that you see and you pick up and you're like, that works well from like precision nutrition and you know what I mean, little things like that you'd use. So when I started working with her, I really sort of done like a bit of a deep dive into it to see if I had a. any methods and how it would essentially come across in the coaching. So the four by five method came about from mainly, as you know, from clients, they always want like new meal ideas,

recipes, this and that. And it's like, it's not the thing that you really need. You've already got it all day. You just need something that you can look back on and you can just go, right, that's what I enjoy most of the time. And there it is. So it's essentially you'll pick five breakfasts of your favourite breakfasts, five lunches, five lunches, five. dinners and five snacks and you just put it down on the sheet and that way then you can even laminate it put it on the fridge so whenever you come to doing your food shop you're like boom yeah because most people are creatures a habit anyway and they eat the majority of the same foods but they just need it in front of them to be able to see even if you've got like two sheets do you know

I mean like that's probably all the foods you're going to be eating and you'll just recycle them so then we created that sent it out to everybody and it's been a massive hit and it's reduced that overwhelm of their sort of eating. I was about to say it probably reduces that decision fatigue. It's like I know what I'm going to have now. So once people have like an overwhelming schedule, they have to bring the kids here. They have to go to work. They have to do things.

The last thing that they want then is to be like having to try and figure out all themselves all the time. So yeah, I think that's really good. Is it Ella Khan? Is that the girl? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I had Ella on the podcast there. I think last year she's very, very knowledgeable. I really enjoyed that episode I did with her. Yeah, she's great, man.

She's like a psychologist from like for that's like her background. Yeah. Yeah, she's really, really good at what she does. And the way she gets it across, it just really resonates. Yeah. Yeah. What other misconceptions do you find that your clients have? Because I think this will really resonate to anyone listening in terms of they might be just starting off their weight loss journey. And, you know, they've heard, you know, they should do this, they should do that.

Like, what about even exercise? Like, what are some of the misconceptions that you find that your clients have before they start with you? what are kind of some things you have to coach them on or just guide them in regards to their exercise? It is that they feel, and this puts them off across the board. They think they need to be training multiple times a week for 60 odd minutes. And it has to be in a gym is what they tend to think. And then obviously that's like a huge barrier to entry.

And they're like, absolutely not. Like one, they can't find that 60 minutes. And then two, like the transition to him from the gym takes 30 minutes. Do you know what I mean? But yeah, that's the biggest thing. And then when we break it down, so we've got a thing called, again, it's called 320 fit. So it's just three 20 minute sessions scattered throughout the week. Again, each session is tailored to if they are in a gym or if they're at home or whatever equipment that they've got.

So it looks different for everybody. And then if they can't commit to that, then we'll just drop it to three 10 minute sessions across the board. And usually what we tend to find is once they get going, you know what I mean even if it was 10 minutes they get going they end up saying oh I've I've added extra sets on I've done an extra one of this I went for a walk after so it's not necessarily saying here's a 45 minute session follow it to the button absolutely nail it because that for a lot of my clients particularly they're like oh it's too much for me but you do that that sort of dangles a carrot and then they tend to do more themselves yeah you're you're reducing the barrier

to entry like if you're telling something that they need to do an hour workout and they're like where am I going to find an hour in the day I remember talking to a PT before and he thinking like it was because it was for the gen pop client someone who hadn't been you know exercising or moving or was completely sedentary and instead of like three or two one hour sessions a week he was doing like a 15 minute session every day and like it was just like three or four full body things and like again it's like you know once a client starts that the the motivation is really high and you don't want to kind of diminish that either whether that's like you know oh your calories are too low well I'm losing weight and I'm feeling good

well then like don't get in the way of them if they're feeling good and I think it's the same way exercise as well it's like if they're if they're feeling good and they're moving their body then like I think we have this kind of misconception as coaches that it has to be you know three or four one hour sessions because that's probably what we do and you know

the calories have to be just like 500 calories under our maintenance because you know that's the generic advice that we would give but yeah I really like that even like just three 10 minutes sessions a week and I think you had something on your Instagram as well where you got some client really, really fantastic results and they weren't even going to the gym.

Is that correct? Yes, I think you're referring to Violetta. Yes. Yes, so her circumstances were, again, completely unique to most people's where she was a stay-at-home mom. She had two kids. Her husband had recently been in a car accident, so she was having to care for him as well.

So for the first sort of four months of us working together, she couldn't actually exercise. So there wasn't really any scope for her. Or the conversation was that even if she identified a little bit of time, we just sort of agreed that it would put too much stress on the sort of day-to-day life. And fat loss was the main goal with this whilst obviously trying to support everybody. So she was in like a fairly mild deficit. And the two things that she did is she was very consistent with a nutrition.

and she made sure she made the most of getting out walking with the kids and getting sunlight, etc. And she lost like four stone in like four months by sort of following that. And then obviously went on to then join the gym when life sort of allowed it and yeah, completely changed her life. That's, I think that's like a really good message there. It's like because a lot of people will think that, you know what I mean? I have to suffer in order to get the result I want. and you know if you understand

your client's specific situation and all these kind of external stresses that are kind of out of their control you just thrown like intense exercise at them or a really like extreme deficit at that stage like it's probably going to be the last thing that's going to help them because they're already

you know on high alerts, high stress and you know you're just contributing to their struggle rather than trying to make the process as easy as possible which will actually give them the result in the end in the end run yeah and it was nice as well because obviously being able to sort of support her through that as well um obviously being like a stay-at-home mom's but i mean being a

mom being a dad it's quite a lonely sort of job um particularly with what she was going through she said if it wasn't for the coaching um she said it would have turned out very differently so she was very great for that and i was very privileged than honored to be able to um sort of be there at that sort of of time of her life and you know what you use a really important word there where you said i was I was able to be there to support her. And I think that's what a lot of people kind of forget what coaching is. Like people think coaching is the meal plans, the workout plans, the step targets and stuff like that.

Like that's that's not it. Them things are fine. And like obviously there are add-ons that you get with it. But it's it's the support, the accountability to having someone to kind of walk through ideas or circumstances or situations. Like that's essentially, that's where the value. comes from and that stops people from you know self-sabotaging or quitting on themselves and stuff like that when they're able to kind of have someone there to support them or probably to help them to see that

they're you know they're not doing too bad they're actually doing really well and if we look at all the circumstances that they're under you know whether that's they're supporting someone else you know they're working a full-time job they've kids to look after like for you to be able to do a little bit under all that all them circumstances that's a huge win and it's it's being able to do them little things

consistently over a long period of time that's where the results are going to come from anyway just like your client showed yeah and you just reminded me there like mainly sort of reflect on the conversations that we have on like a daily basis with everyone and even on like the coaching calls it's very rarely about

your calories your staffs it's not about it's not about any of that. Like, yeah, some of it's going to be like looking at the training, movement patterns and all that sort of stuff and increasing weight there. But it's not, it's about like the behaviours. How can they do this?

How are they feeling and this? And then asking and having them conversations back and forth. Yeah. I don't have thought of it like that before. But yeah, I don't really talk to them about that. Yeah. Yeah, it's very true. What advice would you give to someone

who's just starting out their weight loss journey? All right. So maybe it's someone that is listening to this call now. Maybe they can't afford a coach at the moment. and maybe they're looking to get started on their journey. What advice would you have for them for someone starting out? Probably the first thing that I would look at doing, and the reason I'd focus so much on this one,

is because it would like spill into every other area and give you that energy to actually do other things. And that would be focus on having three meals at specific times and looking at breaking that plate up between, a source of protein, carbs, and then having vegetables through some fibre on there as well. And then look at maintaining those times at breakfast, lunch and dinner. And then seeing how when you start fueling properly, that starts to one, you can start thinking a little bit clearly.

If you suffer with any sort of natural stresses and you are fueling yourself with food, it's going to bring that stress down a little bit more because you're not got the hunger as an added stress, it's not going to amplify it. and then you'll probably see that you'll want to do more things because you've got more clearer mind and you've got more energy to fuel that. So I'd probably say that to begin with. Yeah, that's that one spill into a around. I think that's a great, great piece of advice.

It's something that I relay as well with my clients. I think one of the mistakes that we make or people make is that when they want to lose weight and they're already under a kind of stress with their life is they just enhance that stress by trying to be over restrictive, whether that's, they cut it down to like one meal or two meals a day. And, you know, they're essentially running on fumes.

And they don't really understand how, you know, they, yes, while you might need to cut down your calories to lose weight, you also need a sufficient amount of calories to perform throughout the day, you know, not just in your training, but just in general life as well, whether you're minding the kids or, you know,

you're trying to perform and work, or just bodily function. Like, you need energy and energy, comes from food and having maybe three meals throughout the day at the same time with all them nutrients that you said is a great way of feeling better so therefore you move a little bit more you have more pepping your step you feel more motivated than maybe to get out for that walk or to train or you know not home to bed hungry and having a good night sleep and all them things will contribute to you getting the results you want yeah exactly and if you've already

living a fairly stressful life anyway you cutting down even more so on food while trying to do effin house, you're probably going to snap at some point, and that's going to then create a big drama, and you're probably going to then look to food to then get past that, which is going to be counterintuitive. Whereas if you said, it's going to minimize that chance because you're not going to be as grumpy or you're not going to snap. So that, again, it works quite well with that. Yeah, I think this is why people get a little bit confused. It's like, we're telling you to eat, so let you lose weight. And they're like, the problem is that I've eaten and I'm not losing weight. But yeah, it's all them external things that, that makes us that drive to kind of eat them hyper-palatable foods instead. That's why I always say to like my clients, it's like, yeah, you can have snacks, but snacks aren't a meal, and I'd rather you have a couple of meals because it will keep you satiated, to keep you full, and, you know, you'll probably reduce your overall clark intake as a byproduct of, you know, eating proper meals rather than kind of, you know, on the go, having a fucking protein bar and a red bull and running off steams and then being exhausted

and hungry by the end of the night. And that's where maybe stress eating or overeating and that comes into play. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's why it's designed to fill you up, man. I wanted to talk to you a little bit about then coaching. So we have a couple of kind of personal trainers

and stuff like that that listen to the podcast as well. What challenges did you face? I think you kind of alluded to it a little bit as well, but like what challenges have you faced on your journey as a coach and how have you kind of overcome them? Mainly the feeling of, and I obviously was at Lewis's event when I sort of spoke about that quite briefly, but the feeling of not being good enough as a coach. And this only comes not through sort of fear of speaking to clients or delivering to clients or anything like that. It's if I'm around other coaches, I will always fear that they're judging me because I'm not good enough.

that's quite a huge one and I think from Lewis's last event last week that was a big highlighted thing that come from a few of the speakers from MT from from Ali as well that coaches aren't going to buy from you like you don't care what they think

like that's the thing if that's the one thing holding you back from impacting and helping more people then you're doing your potential clients a disservice because you're not being out there enough. And I am. I do know enough. I am a good coach. We get great results. We change people's lives on a different level. So that is just that sort of self-doubt within myself. And I'm not too sure where that comes from, if I'm being honest. I think I might have an idea, but I'm not entirely sure. Yeah. Well, like, it's, I think it's, I think it's

really valuable that you say that because, like, I think we all have that to a degree in any kind of area that we are. Like if you look at your clients, for instance, you know, they might be in the gym and they might be comparing themselves to other people in the gym and, you know, how they look or what they're lifting and stuff like that. And, you know, us as coaches will turn around and say, oh no, you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone else and then we'll go and do that the exact same thing, but from a business perspective. I think it's just, it's, it's in us as humans, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. But like you said, you're different context. Yeah, different context.

And so how do you think you've not, like, it's like anything else. Like it's not a on off switch or I, you know, first I felt inferior, now I feel superior and stuff like that. It's like, you know, it's obviously a constant, a battle. There's obviously just constant tension between. But how do you, how do you deal with that? Because I'm sure there's personal trainers on here and online coaches on here who experience the exact same thing as like they might be in a room and they might feel inferior or they

might be on social media comparing themselves to, oh, that coach has that many clients, that coach has, you know, this many subscribers or that coach is making this. So, like, how do we navigate that while still trying to, you know, pursue whatever it is that we're trying to pursue? I mean, there's no right or wrong answer for this, but my, this is like my immediate sort of response, and that helps me and gives me that instant gratification

from not feeling like that, and that overwhelm is, I literally just went on to Instagram and I just started unfollowing all the coaches that I would either feel sort of jealous off or would compare myself to because when I'd see them pop up, it would just give me that instant feeling of and then it will then

affect the rest of my day or what I'm going to do next that could have a massive positive impact. So I just try and protect my energy that way just around myself with a group of individual like yourself, like inside the amplifier, that are all here trying to raise each other up. And then, yeah, I just trying to eliminate that and sort of ignorance is bliss, I suppose.

Yeah, I love that because it's like, and I always say that to clients as well. It's like your diet isn't just the food that you eat, it's also what you consume. And if you're consuming things on social media, that's having a negative impact. I think the problem is a lot of people, like they're following things on social media

and not having the self-awareness that, oh, this is actually making me feel shit about myself. This isn't actually helping me. they continue to scroll and follow and I think that like you should curate your feed to you know be more positive to help you like my my feed is literally just memes and dogs that's all of this just memes and dogs that's what that's all my algorithm is and like I think you're right I think if you if you take that back to like the perspective of a client it's like you know they might be you know all their their feed might be curated with like lots of diaculture or stuff like

that or you know cosmetics and uh you know companies telling them that they need to change their nose or change their eyes or you know that they have uh cellulite or or hip dips and stuff like that and you know then you're essentially as a as a client who's looking to lose weight you're constantly at war with yourself and constantly picking yourself apart so again i think it's like you know you have the perspective of a client who probably falls into that category and then you also have the perspective of a coach who falls into that category as well it's like oh this person's this amount of money, this business coach is telling me that I'm not making enough money, this person selling me this. So yeah, I think looking at your diet as a whole, not just food,

but also what you're consuming, especially on social media, I think that's going to be really important. So I think that's great advice. What misconceptions did you have about running an online coaching business before you started? How did you think it was going to go compared to how it goes now? well i for some reason in my head um i had no idea about business never ran a business in my life never even wanted a business do even know what a business was essentially like i was just in the army always in full-time pay no dramas get the paycheck at the end of the month go blow it and then i knew it was coming back um so the misconception i had is that when i launched it i was like i was saying to laura i was like i'll be sold out this will this is going to go off for two years

it didn't go off Carl. Two years, man. It made less than like a thousand pounds in two years, the business did. And that was a really humbling, important sort of learning curve for me. And it also gave me a bit more of a fire in my belly because I know a lot of people who I would speak to coaches at the same time. Because like back in like 2020 COVID, loads of people went online, right? And it was like a real big sort of craze. So there's a lot of people. And there's a load of people who were we were all supporting each other at the time, like, liking each other's content, all that sort of stuff. None of them are in the business anymore.

They all packed it in. So that gave me a real sort of drive to like, no one will stick this out long enough. So if I continue to stick it out, then I'm going to succeed. That's a great mindset to have, by the way, because I, and I think there, I can't remember the statistics people use it all the time that, like, most personal trainers

or people in the fitness industry leave after two years, like a significant number. So I'd have that mindset that, oh, well, if I, if I just stick it out a little bit longer, a little bit longer, a little bit longer, then I'm going to get ahead of the pack kind of thing. Yeah. And I mean, that's exactly what sort of happened, really, not through them dropping out, of course. It's not like I dropped out and there was more people for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's like, it's the mindset of just stick at it, stick at it, stick at it, while also getting better or more efficient at the tasks that you need to get more efficient at. yeah like when i first was delivering it i think i was using um like a platform called like train heroic where it was just like literally training plans um and you'd build it on there checkings were done via WhatsApp from me sending a message manually out of like six questions on a on like a Monday because i couldn't afford type form or couldn't afford anything for the coaching light um but then it slowly evolves doesn't it slowly picks up a little bit of software gets introduced

and then it starts snowballing from there. But I thought it was going to be really easy. I really, really did. I was really naive to it. I didn't understand anything about it whatsoever. And I was quickly humbled. Can I ask a question? And do you think that it was better to go in ignorant

and to not realize how difficult it was going to be to run a business? Yeah, absolutely. But I think I'm always, like, people ask me, so obviously when I quit drinking and went completely sober for like just over five years, people were like, oh, do you wish you'd have done this sooner? and then I really sort of instead of just going

oh yeah, of course I did. Like I actually thought about the sort of response and it wouldn't have come any sooner. Like yeah, people always tell you, don't they? Alcohol is bad, drugs are bad. But like you don't, no one cares. Like you don't care if someone tells you that advice. You need to actually live that advice.

I mean, I think there's only a few people that would go unless they had like a major traumatic event, like their dad was an alcoholic and they grew up to not, you know what I mean? Like, but I think for most people, you have to live it to be like, you know what, yeah, fair enough. And then it comes that perfect time

where you've experienced enough to then make the choice, like, no, enough is enough now. No matter what people say, I think you've got to sort of live it. Well, that's the thing, isn't it? Like, there's all these lessons through history that, like, people constantly come up and say, and, like, but it doesn't matter how many times people say it,

you have to experience it yourself to learn the lesson. I think that's far more powerful. Like, I think there are really smart people who can learn off other people's mistakes, but I think, like, there are some mistakes. stakes that you have to make yourself in order to really understand them. Like, you know, I don't know, money, money won't bring me happiness, but like, some money will, do you know what I mean?

Or like money won't make me happy, but, you know, I'd rather, I'd rather figure that out with money than without it. Yeah. And that's probably the most important one, really, the money one. Yeah. And if you were to start all over again, what would you tell yourself? Buckle up. it's a really, really good question, man.

I don't know if I'm being honest. It would probably, I don't know, Carl. Not even let's say, because like you just said, it's like the lessons are only going to come when they're going to come, right? So it's like, it's not like, oh, would you have stopped sooner? No, you would have probably continued. You probably would have went on the exact path that you were going to go on. even in terms of your coaching business,

even in terms of, all right, for the first two years, I'm going to suffer. But is there any kind of words of encouragement that you'd give yourself, even if you wouldn't change anything in terms of the journey that you went on to be a successful business owner? It would probably be to reach out for,

probably to reach out for help a little bit sooner than I did in terms of like a mentor, just because it takes that thinking out before me, like you were saying, like you can learn from those sort of mistakes that you don't necessarily have to suffer. But it's kind of one of them, isn't it? Where you can't afford a mentor at that point. Like it's very, do you mean, it's kind of like two different paths, isn't it?

You're even fortunate enough to be able to afford a mentor and go down that route or you go through and you go that tough route where you suffer for those two years until you get to the point where you can go and do something like that. Yeah. I think that's exactly right. like I would say to myself as well, I would say reach out and get, learn up. What I did, what I actually regretted was actually not. So like I started off and I worked in a gym and then I went straight into me being the business owner and kind of figuring out for myself before I eventually kind of invested in mentorships, which was obviously really helpful and interjected what I knew and what I needed to know. but I think I would have liked to have, let's say, worked under someone who was really successful or effective before maybe going out on my own. Not to say, like, my journey into the business that I created happened the way it created, you know what I mean?

And it's the exact same as you're saying. But then I also see, like, coaches who maybe worked under someone who was very established. and like when you're when you're not the main man and you're kind of under someone and you're kind of watching and observing how effective they are in terms of how they run their business and how they tree people and you know how they show up for themselves i think you can learn a lot very quickly to them be like okay i'm going to go out on my own now but now i have all this kind of experience of observing someone else um do it the way that they do it i think that would be valuable yeah kind of like um like an apprenticeship

essentially. That's exactly what it would be like. I think I think that I think that would be really helpful for for young coaches who you know go out on their own straight away and be like I'm going to start my PT business and then they're looking for clients and they're like oh shit this is actually really difficult. I don't know how to talk to people. I don't know how to sell my services. I don't know about systems and stuff like that whereas you know I do see some coaches who who have worked under like really successful coaches like I was thinking about. Maureen who was at the event that we were at and she worked under ESG I think was Emma Story Gordon and I'm like that's really valuable a really valuable experience to then decide that right now I'm going to go out on my own

and start my own coaching business. Yeah, 100%. And again, that would have been an incredible position to be in, wouldn't it? Yeah, yeah, I think so. So I wanted to talk to you a little bit about fatherhood as well because obviously like you've seen something that, you know, I'm quite vocal about on my social media as well.

I can't wait to be a father. And I see you on Instagram and like I see the way you show up and I love it. I think it's amazing. So what surprised you the most about becoming a father for the first time? You have three kids, isn't it? Got three, yeah. Three, yeah, yeah, yeah. What age were you when you had your first?

I was 27 when Esme was born. And I was still. So at that point, so Esme was kind of like the real sort of turning point of me looking at changing who I was as a person. So I was still like an absolute like social hand grenade through those years with like alcohol through the army. So Esme was kind of like that first sort of wake up call for that when I started thinking about it. And then Hudson came along when I was 29. maybe nearly 30, I think. So there's 18 months between them.

I was like 28, 29. And then I'd already quit drinking before that point. So before Hudson was born, while Laura was pregnant with Hudson. And the thing that really surprised me with that is that freedom. And I know everyone talks about, like being, obviously being a father,

being a parent, it's an incredible, it's amazing. But also as well, no one really talks about the sort of the freedom side and things that you can no longer sort of do and that adjustment period through that time was quite challenging because before I was obviously living away Monday to Friday

not caring the world and then come back and the weekends with my own sort of thing but then obviously coming back for the weekends then we had our little girl so it was a little bit different and I probably kind of rebelled for the first for the first while where I would just come back quickly say hello

and then literally be the biggest piece of shit in the world and just go straight down the pub but I don't really know what for maybe just across scapeism maybe I think it yeah I think so and at this point as well we weren't in our own house as well

we were living with with Laura's mom and it was just a real sort of well as confinement very stressful environment and I just use the only coping mechanism I knew, which would go down the pub and just run off. Yeah. And I think a lot of men are dealing with that at the moment as well, because like, obviously in Ireland now, like there's a housing crisis and, you know, most men who were in

their 30s are, you know, living in their girlfriends or their wife's parents' house. And, you know, I know with my sister and her boyfriend, they had two kids and they were living in my dad's house and there was about 10 of us in the house at the time. It was like a three or a four bed house. Like, it was very, very confined. and like that can be difficult. That can be really difficult, I'd say. It is, it is, yeah. But then obviously when we moved into our own house,

that pressure was sort of lifted a little bit. And I'll probably, it probably gave me that space to think a little bit clearer and think, right, okay, like now we're kind of, I'm an adult now. I've been an adult for a very long time. But I was like, this is me now becoming an adult. Like I can't do, I can't be that person down the pub, causing drama, running off, disappearing,

like my missis having to ring people to find out where I am when I'm in someone's kitchen, and I've been there for like three days. Like, that can't happen anymore. Like, I can't be that person. Like, if my daughter was to grow up and I was still doing that, it'd just be like the worst thing ever. So it was, I need to now become that role model

that I'm someone that she can look up to and be proud of. And also someone that isn't setting that example with obviously having two girls now. I want to make sure that they've got that strong father figure around so that they don't have to then or it doesn't spill into that sort of the daddy issue sort of thing where they're going to seek like validation or love from somebody else

who's going to potentially treat them wrong. Yes, that makes perfect sense. I think that's a really good, a really good lesson for people or like a really good story to tell because like I think people will have the misconception that, okay, and you hear it all the time and that, and like I'm sure that's right as well,

that like you have a child and that changes your life but like you've kind of put it is like sometimes it's a slow burner to like any kind of transformation of your life or grow in terms of the person that you're becoming like it's not a an over dating as like okay I was this person and now I'm this person it's like it takes time it takes steps yeah it's a very slow process like I'd be lying if like like like most people right where if we like relate that's a sort of like diet like Monday that's it starting it never going back to doing this, this isn't this. Like when Esme was born, I was like in my head, right, yeah, not drinking anymore, not doing

this, complete changed person. Of course, that's a load of bollocks. It's never going to happen like that. And it didn't happen like that. Like, generally, like two weeks after she was born, like, I was down the pub causing drama. Do you know what I mean? Like, it was a very slow process. But that was just one of those, whether or not it's sort of had to happen.

But very quickly I came out of it once we'd sort of, I'd realize I had a baby. and I was like, can't be doing this anymore. When you say it had to happen, sometimes I think sometimes it does have to happen because sometimes you have to feel that kind of pain or how you feel after. And that's why sometimes I say like, like, even with weight loss and stuff like that,

like if you overeat or whatever it is, like they're not mistakes. They're not, they're just lessons. And it's like, okay, this is a lesson that I have to learn. I'm feeling a certain way from doing a certain behavior. What can I learn from this? And I think sometimes you have to go through that kind of pain because we're like if you're if you don't,

then it's like, all right, you've just, what, you're just the perfect human and you've never made any mistakes. And therefore you don't need to learn any lessons or to help you to grow as a person. There's a great quote I love that I think it was Jordan Peterson said and it's like, uh, like you you fall forward when you're trying to kind of grow as a person. so you're like you'll make mistakes, you know, on your way up to being a better person. And I think that's, that's completely normal that, that we go through them lessons. Yeah, yeah, 100%.

And it's, yeah, it's like people who know me now, it's like clients and whatnot. And like you, for example, like you'll see the, like, the polished version. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, look, he's a great dad, he's always with his kids. He's doing this. doing that. But then the old me, not that I wouldn't go around, I wasn't antisocial, I wouldn't go around being rude, being rude, mean or anything like that. I was just a lad's lad, like, just loved it, do you know what I mean? Like, it was just that. But they are completely

two different people, but also that sort of behaviour hurts people as well, like people that love you most, you know what I mean? Like, it's not respectful to them. That's the one thing that really sort of had to change. How do you balance being present as a dad with your kids? And also trying to run a business and because obviously that can be difficult for people to be when you're trying to run a business you're you're you're almost thinking about it all the time and uh like i i notice myself even when i'm out with people or you know when i'm with my family it's like trying not to think about the next task that i have to do and be like oh if i'm here be here um do you find that difficult or do you find it easy or no so i've got a really strict

regime that I follow. So I wake up at half past three, straight into the ice bath, I'll then journal for three hours, I'll then go through a walk. No, I find it very difficult. There is like you were saying again, like routine is freedom essentially, right?

And it really is. So we try and keep as much routine as possible within the family one because it's great for the kids. So like, bed, bath, breakfast, lunch, dinner, all that sort of stuff. Trying to keep as regimented as possible because it helps regulate them. But that also gives us that sort of time left and right

to do the things that we need to do. But if I'm being completely honest, like I'm not going to give the answer and a bullshit answer of, oh, we do this, this and this and it makes life easy. It's very, very challenging. And it doesn't go to plan like nine times out of ten. It doesn't go to plan like just before,

obviously, I came on here. It was complete chaos. My little boy was having, he was on the toilet, had to go and wipe his bum. There was like, the little one I was putting her in a carry cart ready to get her in the car. Esme was running around in the garden with no shoes on. They were about to go out. And I'm like, your feet need cleaning.

Like, it's just chaos all the time. But you've got to kind of live in that chaos. Yeah. I tried to fight it for like so many years. Like Esme now, she's like seven next month. Hudson's five. And Havana's like four months old. So those two have been really good learning curve at me not running around constantly trying

and be like, oh, need to tie to this, need to do this, need to do this, just get consumed in that stress. So, I mean, I'm not saying I don't do that still. I definitely do. I take more of a step back and I'm just like, I laugh at the chaos that goes around. Like I just look around and just sort of embrace it and just it's kind of cool to be fair, and just laugh at it and then just try and pick the pieces up as I go. Yeah, and that's some of my favorite content of yours is when, the kids are running around riot and you're trying to do some sort of an activity and stuff like that. I really enjoy that.

What values are important to you to pass on to your children? So the main values to me would be one of them would be courage to pass on. I mean, this is important whether you've got boys or girls. But to speak up if something isn't right and to sort of voice that opinion and be brave enough to do so. in any sort of situation, because that'll be important through wherever, right, and have those sort of difficult conversations. And that's one thing that we are really proud of, like, if something isn't going right, whether it is in their sort of nursery setting or they're out somewhere,

they'll either, if it's to another human or another person, they'll say like no or whatever, they'll vocally sort of speak it out to them, which then alerts us, but also they'll come and tell us if anything's going wrong. So I think that's very important for children to sort of have and to, still in them because I know a lot of children won't and they'll sort of keep things quiet and then that can obviously cause bigger problems if something happens. So trying to instill that they can, like their voice is important and having that courage. Yeah, I love that. Is there anything else? I say honesty. Courage and honesty are the two main ones

that we do try and instill in them. And the way that we try and get like honesty across is obviously kids love to lie and they love to tell a tale all the time. It's very difficult to distinguish what's real and what isn't. So if they've ever done anything wrong, or we suspect that they've done something wrong. Like, for example, like the other day, my little boy took the head off his electric toothbrush

and drilled a hole through the plasterboard in the living room and it's all over the sofa. And I know he did it, right, but I couldn't prove it because he'd run off and whatnot. So the way that we try and get around that is instead of like screaming and shouting, which is naturally going to withdraw them and they're going to lie because they don't want to get in trouble.

Look, you're not in trouble. We just want to know what's wrong so we can obviously fix it and then we can move on. You're not going to be in trouble. So that sort of parents in style that we have encourages them to tell the truth a little bit more and be a bit more honest because I know that there's not going to be a huge repercussion from that.

And then we'll have a... I like that. It's like you're creating a safe environment where kids or whether it's clients to have the ability to be able to be open and honest and I'm vulnerable or whatever case maybe. Yeah, I love that. Do you do anything for yourself, anything to reset?

Because obviously, you know, being a dad of three, running a coaching business, you know, being a partner, is there anything that you do for yourself to recharge the batteries or to fill your own cup up? There's two things that I really like doing. One of them, most people tell me I can't use that as like a way to relax because it's exercise,

it's training, which kind of isn't, it's stressful, but I really, really enjoy it. It's just that you can handle and you enjoy. Yeah,

like if I don't, like, for example, like since Havana's been born, it's been very difficult. Like, I thought having, having an extra one

wouldn't really make too much of a difference. And it doesn't, but in terms of logistics of me sort of nip into the gym and all that sort of stuff, it's put a big, a big dampener

on that. So I'm lucky if I get one or two training sessions a week at the moment. So it's trying to navigate that, but training's one. And then the next thing is, sorry, I want to touch on that real quick because there will be dads listening to the this who probably are going through, probably have similar hectic schedules, whether it's working kids and stuff like that. Being able to, like, and also that's breaking down barriers that, well, like, if you can get two sessions in a week, you're doing really well and you can still maintain and what tell me a little bit about them two sessions is it more so for you know stress relief mental health is a how do you structure them sessions how long do you get into the gym

all that kind of stuff yeah so it's for it's mainly for that stress release um to give me energy i notice i'm very energized when i come back and i'll just blitz the whole house dishwasher gets done tumble dry is on i'm just absolutely on it um but uh but yeah the mental health aspect as well. I find I'm not as, I'm way more optimistic when I've trained. And I can see things like I can see the rainbow, like I can see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So that's really important. But the way that I structure them sessions, I'm a member at a high rock's gym. So the classes are put on. So it's like a typical sort of CrossFit, crossfit box style where the classes are put on for you. So I go up and attend one or two classes

a week, one strength class and I jump on an endurance class, just so I get sort of best of both worlds with that. At the minute, it's a bench block and I've just done 100, one rep max, big doll. So I love it. I'm well happy with that. But yeah, just those two things there, that's me managing to sort of maintain my strength with that, which I was really, really pleased about.

But also the social aspect as well, like the people up there, absolutely love it it's absolutely class like at the end of every session the coach everyone that's there don't even know some of them know most people up there just a good old fist bump and just encouraging each other and to be part of that community is yeah it's nice man and it's talking to actual people instead of like little people that have got a proper attitude giving you giving you abuse all day yeah literally getting like mentally and emotionally abused on a day to go up there and be spoken to like an adult. Josh, I've really, really enjoyed this conversation.

I'm going to ask you one more question. What advice would you have or what advice would you give to someone who, you know, is potentially about to be a father for the first time or, you know, has aspirations to be a great dad one day? What advice would you give them from your experience? My advice on this would be, who do you want your children? to sort of look up to, what do you want them to say about you when you're older? Like, so I know a lot of, a lot of, well, particularly sort of my friends,

don't really have a good relationship with their mum or with their dad, and obviously they're adults now. And there was a really interesting, I can't remember who said it, but it was like, obviously when you're little, you believe sort of, like your parents, they know everything, you look up to them, and then all of a sudden when you become older, you look at them and think you're absolutely full of shit. like you see them sort of thing and I don't want my kids to ever have that opinion about me I always want to be that person that they can sort of either look up to and sort of confide in so I try

and live and be the person that I want them to sort of look look up to and speak positively about but trying to like act upon that on a daily basis yeah and I think that's the that's the big thing as well as like you know when you say act because I think a lot of a lot of people can fall into the of, you know, telling someone what to do versus showing them what to do by being the example. Like the second one is far more powerful. Yeah. And anyone that's got kids, like actions speak louder than words. Like you can tell your kids, please don't do this, do this, do that, do that. And they don't listen to a word you say. But then you start doing certain things and taking action on it. They always start to mimic that.

And then you've cracked it. And then you've passed on that, especially if you exercise or you speak positively about yourself or whatever, they then start doing that. that. I love them little videos online where it's like the dad's working out in the garage or something like that. He's doing a deadlift and then the little toddlers behind them with his little small bar like replicating what he what he's doing. Yeah. It was like last summer I was doing overhead squats with a barbell in the garden and I just set the video up. The kids weren't out there at this point and then as my elders come running out and all she there wasn't any bars out there. So I was doing that. She picked up the little table that they've gone.

put it over red and started doing over red spots with this table. It's class. Yeah, I think that's brilliant. Listen, if anyone wanted to reach out to you and ask any questions or follow up on coaching, where can they go to find you? On Instagram and the

Instagram handle is at Jay Hubbard Fitness. All right, deadly. Okay, well, we'll leave all the information and the show notes. Listen, thank you so much for today. I've really enjoyed having this conversation with you. Cheers, Cobb. Pleasure. Thanks for watching. If you like that episode and you want to see more content like this, make sure you're subscribed and I'll see you on the next one.