The Uneducated PT Podcast - Episode 100 – Roy Ritchie | Travel, Connection, Friendship, Death, Victim Culture & ADHD

Episode Date: July 16, 2025

In this milestone 100th episode of The Uneducated Podcast, we sit down with the insightful and candid Roy Ritchie for a deep, wide-ranging conversation that touches on the real stuff of life. From the transformative power of travel and the meaning of human connection to navigating grief, loss, and the nuances of friendship, Roy shares his raw perspective shaped by experience. We also dive into pressing cultural themes like victim mentality, the challenges of living with ADHD, and how society views mental health today. Expect honest dialogue, unexpected humor, and moments that might just shift your perspective. Whether you’re here for reflection, curiosity, or just a great conversation — this one delivers.

Roy Ritchie, it's an absolute pleasure to have you on the podcast for number two. Last time we spoke, you were actually in Argentina, if I remember correctly. Oh, yeah. Still figuring out the next move. So how has life changed for you since then? Man, that's a big question. You know what? The last, I'd probably say the last six months since I came back to, well, I came back to Europe

for the festive period and whatnot but then I went back over stateside for the last four or five months I tell you what though I really really miss Latin America like really miss it and there's just so much of it I just think it's one of those things you know when people go to places like I don't know a Southeast Asia or something and they're just kind of like oh man there's nothing like it like I've still got a lot of friends like genuinely good friends over there in different countries and I still speak to them loads. And I do at times just miss life in those different areas. Just like culture, friendliness, the way, like I said, if you attach, like the way, the way they live to the cultural side of things, I really miss that.

Like there's like the busyness, like people want to achieve things, but there's also the importance of connection, friendship. and it's genuine, really genuine. And I tell you what, I've really missed that over the last six months because I've not had that, because I felt like when you come into like westernised countries, like coming back, I came back here to Scotland over the Christmas period,

and obviously I've seen friends and family and tried to catch up with them as much as I could, but you do notice a big difference here. I'm sure it's similar in Ireland. And then when I went to the States, it was one thing I really, really struggled with. So, for example, I went to San Diego for five weeks. And unfortunately, my dad passed away, so I came back to Scotland for two weeks. But in that five-week period, I really, really struggled.

And I said to a few people, I feel lonely. I feel sad. I miss that connection. and I'm finding it really difficult whereas in Latin America it was it was bloody easy to make just genuine friends and very very quickly as well

you know. Can I ask you a question? What do you think is the difference between them cultures that makes it you can feel the emphasis on you know being around people and connection and you know going out for food and drinks and conversation versus maybe you know back home

or state side where it's a little bit more, maybe rushed or whatever. I think curiosity, like genuine curiosity. You know, I mean, I guess it was easier for me when I was in Latin America because, you know, six feet three, behold, Scotsman, there's a curiosity like, wow, I've never seen this before.

I want to get to know this person. But I genuinely think that gave me a bit of an advantage. But then at the same time, you know, you'd see it with other people and other cultures. It just feels like, I think, if I remember right, when we spoke the last time, I was in Chile and something I just noticed that people were just kind. You know, they'd want to get to know you. They would offer to have food with you, go for drinks. They would make time for you. And that's the difference.

difference how people use their time. Yeah. They still prioritize it, but they use it. Their priorities are different. You know, they still respect it. They've got like a career or hobbies or, you know, stuff going on in their life and stuff like that. However, you know, they genuinely prioritize. I saw this a lot in Argentina.

So in Argentina on a Sunday, I think it's similar in Spain and probably Italy as well, where Sundays are just genuinely like. like, you know, down tools. And I remember one day, I was out with one of my friends and we were visiting this like cemetery. It's like a famous one in Buenos Aires. And I was, I was traveling there and I just walked. It was like an hour walk, but I just thought, Buenos Aires, if you've never been there, it's a very walkable city.

Like there's so much to see. It's just really interesting. So I just thought I'll just put on my, put on a, podcast and walk there. And when I got there, when I was going through, the streets were just very, very quiet. And then when I got to the cemetery area,

you know, there's a, there's a lot to do around it. And, you know, when I went into the cemetery and came out, we went for food and drinks and stuff, everybody's just sat on the grass.

You know, I don't know if you're familiar with matty. You know, it's... Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the drink. Everybody's on the grass and just sit in drinking matty. with Bluetooth speakers, you know, they're just having fun, relaxing. Not a single person's like sat in their phone, you know,

no one's just sat doomscrolling or whatever folk are reading books. And that's, and it really hit me there. And I just thought, oh, this is, this is important. Like, you wouldn't see this a lot of, like, I think any Western Irish country. And it's like they just value it, whereas I kind of feel like the UK in Ireland are getting there where there there's more conversation around the importance of connection and importance

of Luke hustle culture has its place but there's context attached to it whereas what I found in the US and this was a huge eye-opener is the US live to work your value

is on what you do how much you learn how hard you work and all that and I just I was quite shocked by it. I just thought this is totally black words. Like no wonder people are burnt out and, you know, lonely and just, I think a lot, I just kept saying, I think a lot of countries could really learn from this, you know? Yeah.

It's a simple thing. I remember someone saying to me before, like in terms of like the, the work culture and how much they prioritize it in the States is like the difference between, I think the States. and Europe is when you meet someone who's American, they'll ask you, or if you meet some news, European, they'll ask you where you're from. And if you meet someone who's American, they'll ask you what you do. Yeah. Well, it's interesting you say that.

So when I was in Buenos Aires, I had a large group of friends. So I basically went along to, I would always use websites like meetup.com and stuff to go along to groups. And I ended up getting into a tag rugby group. And it was quality. mate it was a absolutely quality but the group itself even though there would be people going along every so often there would be a core group and we all just became like really good friends we would go a trivia and a Tuesday and all these things and it was great and there was one night in trivia I got chatting to a guy and his wife they were from New York and we were chatting for a bit and I was like so

mate you're from New York like like what are you doing here and he says we just the quality of here is better. And he said exactly that. He said in New York, people are only interested in what you do, you know, and are you good at it? Whereas in Argentina, people are interested in you. Like, they don't care about what you, like, for example, I mean, I'd probably say like 90% of my friends there. I couldn't tell you what they did. I only found out, I would only find out through, you know, a random conversation or maybe their Instagram stories. And I'd be like, oh, shit, like I didn't realize so-and-so did that, you know, because I only cared about them and vice versa.

Brilliant, mate. Yeah, that's very funny. You know, when you were saying that, I was just thinking about, like, two of my friends in particular. Like, I couldn't tell you what they do. I've known them since they were, like, five years of age. Now, like, I've probably given you their title, but, like, if you ask me what they actually did for work,

I'd be like, I actually have no clue. But it's like, you're right. It's like you're valuing the person, not what they do. whereas I think a lot of relationships now or people that you interact with, it's kind of like a, it's a value or a transactional based kind of relationship. It's like, oh, what do you do?

Are you good at it? Or how much do you make? Or how can this person be of value for me in terms of like climbing the pecking order or anything like that? 100%. Yeah. And that's a really sad thought, you know,

because if you've got two people and one of them is genuinely curious to get to know, no, the other, but the other one is, as you said, on the ladder. Yeah. And they're only interested on the value of that person. As soon as they find out that they're of no value and they cut off, they lose. Like, they really lose.

Because ultimately, they're just going to surround themselves with people like them. And they might support each other's businesses or maybe not. They might, you know, behind the scenes trying to slash their businesses' wrists. And then that person just moves on. and then realizes, oh, okay, well, I'm in this great place. Let's just use ballet for an example because it's ballet. And they're in this place and they're putting up the photos, a sunset and all that. And they're a bit like, oh, I feel sad.

I feel, you know, my mental health is really declining or maybe I need some financial help or just reassurance, whatever it is. And it's like, I've got no one here to turn to. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Like, and I do think also, like, there, I don't think there's anything wrong with transactional relationships either because I do think that like if two people can work together and it's it mutually benefits the two of you like that can be fine as well and sometimes that can actually blossom into a great friendship over time. But I think like you said, it's like I think especially in the West, it's just very highly reliant on that rather than just let's just hang out and you know it doesn't need to be productive. of we don't need to be, you know,

collaborating on anything. Like, it's just, let's just hang out and chill. And I think, yeah, like, that's interesting about the kind of, on the Sunday where everyone just kind of sit still and chills out and, and like, you, like, it's like we're almost

conditioned now to feel guilty for having that rest even on a Sunday or anything like that. Did you see, there was a thing, I don't know if you've seen it. It was a couple, it was a couple of weeks ago, maybe a couple of months ago. It was in Spain, right so in Spain all the power went out all over the country and in Barcelona in particular and so nobody could like go nobody could go to work nobody could be on their laptop no one could

be on their screens or anything like that and it's just there's just really great video of just everybody out in the squares everybody's sitting down everyone's reading books playing kids are running around and like it looks like utopia like it looks unbelievable and i'm like oh fuck that's what it would be like if all like digital things switched off completely and like like i like i it's it's very hard to complain about like the digital era when like we massively benefit from the digital era right like some nothing more annoying than like giving out about being online when you're chronically online but at the same point it's like it's it's the amount of exposure isn't it really i think as you said it's also how

you manage it you know if you're aware of it if the self-awareness is there you know i mean you said, we both work online. It's my bread and butter. It's also my communication funnel to, like I said, friends and family who aren't close to me because sometimes I do put up certain pieces of content for them as like a bit of an update and stuff like that. But I think if you're aware of it, you know, I mean, again, sometimes, you know, I might be somewhere with someone and I will jokingly say to them, oh, I'm just going to take a... a quick video or a quick photo and stuff like that, then my phone goes away.

And I've just got a bit of a hard rule when it comes to spending time with people that the phone goes away. You know, and if there's a moment, like I said, I will take it in, like be present, take it in whatever it is. And then if I want to document it, whether it's for social media content or whether it's just for my memory, you know, because, you know obviously I'm showing my age here a little bit

but I've said to my mates a few times I kind of feel sad sometimes because there's almost like no documentation of our late teens and early 20s you know we've just got those stories and then you know when I was back over the Christmas period we went out for drinks a few times

and a few stories came up I just completely forgotten about and I was like holy shit I cannot believe you remember that and stuff. And okay, it's great to have the memory, but I'm a bit like, oh, man, it would have been cool to even have a Polaroid or something, but it wasn't the priority then, you know,

for someone to have the disposable of the Polaroid and that now. So that's how I kind of like it now is to, like I said, I mean, I sometimes go through my memories or, you know, I'll go through just randomly. like I've got all my videos and photos partitioned into folders on my phone and sometimes I'll go in and I'll be like oh man that was like you know

it just again just takes you back but it is it's how you for me personally is how you manage it and go there's that cost benefit of it right because like that's so true as well and I'm the exact same like I've no real pictures of or barely any anyway of like

me and my family when we're younger maybe me and my mum when we're younger like I've like two pictures of me and my mum together and I'm like, why didn't I have more photos? Because I never actually used the phone when I was younger. But then also the cost side of that, if you look at it from extremes, is that, okay, people have more documentation of memories than ever before. But then also, they weren't really there.

Like, they weren't really present. Whereas at least we can say it's like you were completely immersed in that experience when you were out with your friends or you were in the pub or you were, you know, down the road, kicking a ball or whatever it was. or getting chased off the crazy neighbour. You know, like you're completely immersed in that and it's like, it's like, and then when you go back and you actually see them people

who you haven't seen in maybe like six months and stuff like that, like that one story literally brings you back there, which is almost like nearly a photographic memory of it, which is also really cool. It's interesting, yeah, a part of what you said there is because I'm sure you've seen these profiles, there were someone I met over in the States

and we followed each other on social media and I just kind of looked at our page and it was just a bit like oh your life is curated your life is curated for your social media and everything it was it was the typical Instagram page

everything was perfect the perfect pose the perfect angle and all that. A real traveler, a real, like, I travel all over the world. I, but you're not actually there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me about it like Rome or something, you know, and it was like, oh, I didn't like it. Why not? Oh, it wasn't like, like I saw on social media.

And it was like, no, no, no, but did you make an effort? Did you go and do what the locals doing all these things? And it just kind of made me a feel a bit sad because I was a bit like,

oh, think I'm going to have anything in common with this person, you know, because I don't think there's, and this is obviously my perspective, obviously I don't know the person that well, is I don't think there's much depth

there because the whole thing just seems to be curated for attention as opposed to, oh, I was here and I got a few candid photos or videos and stuff like that, and I just dumped it online with, I don't know, whatever type of caption you want to do. And obviously that's

one example, but unfortunately you see social media, it's just covered in that. The other thing I found about sad was last year, whereas I met loads of really cool people who were like digital nomads and stuff, and when we'd follow each other on Instagram, I'd look at their bio

and their bio would be like, we'll list the number of countries they've been to. And I just thought, oh, it's a bit of a competition. It's like a, it's a bit of a look at me I've been to 46 countries and counting and I'm like I genuinely couldn't tell you how many countries I've been to

but I can tell you which ones I've been to and how they've had either positive or negative effect on me and that matters me to more than the number you know Yeah it becomes it completely comes external validation there of how many countries

you've been to whereas like I remember I was talking the last guest I had on a girl called Rachel and she was I was asking her about her travels through where she was in South East Asian she went to New Zealand and stuff like that as well but like it was the stories that like she puts up

on social media like it might be just like just a random picture of her and you know five hikers who are all in their 80s but then she tells me a story about how she brought them on a five day hike and they all got lost and like you feel like your like there's a difference between

I'll show me a picture of New Zealand like New Zealand's fucking huge but but tell me tell me a story of your personal experience in that country and like I felt when she was telling the story I felt like I was literally there and it's like yeah you could you anyone can fly into a country but like you know like what did you really experience like good or bad like did you like I didn't the whole point about traveling and I like I like I don't want to be like you can't tell someone what way to live or what way to travel and stuff like that like that's I completely get that but

isn't the whole point of like traveling to have like at the end of the day like good stories to tell when when you are at the end of your life well look at I mean I love you know the keyword you hit on there was stories you know I mean

he's and it also what what kind of bonds us in a way you know you know like my group of mates my core group of mates we've been mates like some of them since we're like three four some of them since like early teens now we

I live a completely different life to all of them, but I can still 100% tell you that I love every single one of them. And I'll be there for them if they need me. And I know it goes both ways. And it has gone both ways because there has been periods of time where, you know, when I was in Latin America, for example, I was struggling. And I would just go into the group chat and I would, you know, I'd be walking. and I record a voice note and I just say, hey guys, really struggling at the moment because of XYZ, I'm okay. I know what I need to do. I just want to keep you on board, to understand. And straight away, you would get individual texts and be like, hey, hey, sorry to hear this,

blah, blah, blah. But the reason, even though we don't have things in common in a lot of airs, what does keep us bonded is our shared stories. from the past. But the most important one for me is the continued stories because I'd hate for us to just be mates or for us to be together because we're just constantly like living in the past. It's like, no, let's keep us going. Let's keep building stories. And what you were saying about Rachel there in New Zealand, you know, for me as well

when I've been in different countries, is it like if you're speaking a local or somebody using an expot or traveling and stuff, it's like, tell me your story. Like, you know, they don't want to care about, oh, how did you,

how did you get a big chest, Roy, or blah, blah, but again, they're like, tell me about Scotland or tell me why you're here.

And again, and you bond over it. Sometimes it's in a street, sometimes it's a group thing or whatever. Again, you're looking at connections and stuff. You're not going to make a connection because I tell them my,

you know, my monthly income. or how many people I coach or how many clients or whatever bullshit. They don't care about that. They cared about like you said. I mean, cool, like cool tattoo on your finger. You know, where did you get that?

What does it mean? And then you find out more about the person. It could be nothing, could be something deep, could be something funny. It's such a simple thing, man. And yeah, yeah. And I guess that's why, like, I don't know if you're the same,

but I guess that's one of the reasons why I love, say, like movies and books and all these, different things. It's like, for some people, a movie can be amazing for me. It's like, oh, man, I didn't really get it because there was not much there, you know, or the other way around. There's some movies I absolutely love. And it's because I see it from a perspective of like character development and stuff like that. And to other people, they'll be just be like, oh, shit, there was not enough explosions. I hate, I honestly, I hate, like, it's like,

Fast and the Furious number 15 or something and it's just like, fucking, I've spent a billion on just explosions and there's absolutely no depth or anything to it. Like, it's like, the best movies are, are great stories.

And I, and I, I think you're right. People, like, we, for all of eternity, we've,

we've bonded over stories. And I think even if we go back to, like, the American versus European kind of style, like, what do you do versus, you know, where are you from or, or tell me your story.

It's like, yeah, like, you can, you can, you can, you know, find the surface level things of what you do and stuff like that.

But it's like once you start to talk to someone on a deeper level and find something really about them that like brings you together like, you know, your brother did this or whatever it is. And like I think that's, that's that's really cool. And I think another thing you said there as well, which is important as well, even on the like concept of friendship and stuff like that. Because obviously everyone will have like the group of mates that they kind of grew up with and they bonded together over stories, whether that's stories out on the estate. and that's what brought you together and like you'll always have them stories as well but then like you said it's I think it's really important then to continue to

create them them stories as well by by because it's it can be so hard then to obviously you know people grow up and they get on with their lives and they start families and they have like busy work and like we said like there's this pressure to always be productive and there's this pressure to always be doing stuff and so I think it becomes more and more difficult

for friends to kind of come together and like continue that path of you know creating memories and creating stories together um but i think it's really important for a friendship that you don't just have the past to talk about that you're still trying to create them experiences even if they're less frequent than you would have been when you were in your teens and then at the end of the day it's about effort you know as you said people people as life goes on they're played comes more full, you know, whether it is family, career, hobbies, whatever it is or a collection of them all. So you can, it's less likely you're going to do stuff off and a win, you know,

hey, hey, what you're doing this weekend, if it's going down to London or whatever. No, like, I've got, I've got my next five weekends are booked up. So it does become a bit more of, cool, let's plan down the road. Let's plan for like six months down the road. But let's get something in and let's get buy in, but not just like let's get buy in, but why it's meaningful to do it. And I speak from experience because I've been trying to do that with two groups I've made at the moment. I've been trying to go like, hey, you know, I'm more in Europe in the second half the year. Let's plan something for October, November, long weekend somewhere. It doesn't need to be anything fancy, just catch up and stuff. And may, it was like pulling.

and teeth, you know, folk are like, oh, I've got this, I've got that. And I'm like, it's, it's like five months away, you know what I mean? It is,

it is difficult, though. I think that, and I think that's the difference between culture as well, when we, when we talked about the difference between like Latin culture

and maybe, uh, American culture and Western culture is like, like, the difference between being, like, living in a close-knit community where you're still close to everyone. And then the buying to hang around,

isn't as big because it's like okay we don't need to do something grand like go away for the weekend to London or to Manchester or something like that we can literally just go around the corner and hang around with each other

and you know have a cup of tea or just like sit out on the balcony and have a glass of wine and like everyone's just chatting and having a good time and it doesn't need to be something it doesn't need to be something grand but I think with society

we've made it so difficult to be able to just hang around with each other or to hang around with your friends when you get into your 30s and your 40s and your 50s because like people start to live further and further away from each other and you know careers become a number one priority rather than relationships so it's like it's a culture that prioritises career and moving for your career and living in a bigger house and it means moving away from your hometown versus like a culture

maybe that it doesn't prioritize as much the rat race or hustle culture and it's like okay we're We're all going to, we all live in this little town square. We can all sit down. And there's not a huge, even if, like, we've had kids and they've had kids. And, like, we all still live so close to each other that it's just like, you know, we can go out on a Wednesday and just have a glass of wine and everyone just running around and chatting. And you're creating memories without having to be this big boy in. Why, the thing is as well, why can't it be both? Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Like, you know, I mean, it's your same with cultures there in a digital age and all. digital age or something about 50 it's like it has to be this or that there's always trade-offs and this is something I've

I've been thinking about with the fitness industry recently is how much like inter inter like almost behind the scenes fighting between folk like folks saying you can't do stuff like

tracking calories or do photo shoot and stuff like that because you will get disordered and you will get bodies of smearth. And then you've got the other side of the fence. It's basically like pro those things, but they're like, oh, there's no such thing as intuitive eating or you've got to be all in and stuff like that. And I'm sure you've seen it as well. Like there's some big, big, like really, really intelligent folk who are doing amazing work in their area, but they're so tied into their area that they're really,

refusing to move away from it and go, you know what? There's such a thing as the middle. You know? You can't, oh, you can't train like a power lifter and a bodybuilder. You can't use two different splits in road to trade it or something like that. It's just nuts, man. And it's like, yes, you could develop disorderlyt in.

If and however, in all these things. And then again, like, come on back to what you just. said there with the whole like live locally, live, live internationally or whatever that means. And again, it's like, how can you not enjoy both? And I've got to be honest, that's actually something I've learned. Because I remember, I can't remember if we spoke about it in our last conversation, but something I did before I actually left Scotland. I was, you know, I was working with therapist for two, two and about years. In the last six months of it, we were doing a lot of like grieving.

We were going through this process of grieving because she said, you know, you're no longer the guy who came in, came into therapy. Also, you're this new guy, but you're also a way to change your life. You're moving away from your old guy and you're moved away from your old life. So we went through this like grieving process and sent me up for going into that. And I remember thinking, right, okay, who do I lead behind? And it was an interesting one. So I remember having conversations with one of my closest mates who I do lots of hiking with.

And I was like, I think I've outgrown X, Y, Z because of, you know, got nothing in common, different areas in life. I'm going to go even further in that direction. I don't think they value me and stuff like that. Now, some of these thoughts, which I have now learned, is attached to my ADHD, which I also learned I have over the last year. So I can see where, in hindsight, a lot of, you know, the thread going through it.

And I pushed them away. And I'd probably say about a month or two before I left, I actually then went into, I went to them and I apologize. and I said, look, I'm sorry, I've been really distant. Like, I push you guys away. You know, I was going through like a bit of a process. I was really struggling.

I was very conflicted. And this is how I feel. Do what you want with that. And they immediately pulled me back in with, you know, open arms and stuff. And it was almost like I needed to do that to come to the realization. No, these are the people that I do value. And what I quickly found out as well is, I did leave, you also found out who you were meaningful to and who you weren't.

Because some people who I did think were meaningful to me, just this shut the door on me. And then just became Instagram stories, observers, but never actually like communicate with me and whatnot. And then at the other side of the coin, there was the opposite folk who were, you know, communicating almost daily, you know, FaceTime, texts, whatever it is. so I don't think there's like a right or wrong answer to it I think sometimes you do have to kind of explore a path but you've got to explore a path with open eyes and be willing to learn the lessons of them but if you do learn the lesson

you've got to also be willing to hold your hands up and say hey this is what I've learned here and you know and step forward with it and again I kind of come back to the whole ladder thing so I feel like if you if you're too proud or you're too egotistical or whatever it is, then again, you lose. You lose because you put yourself in a position

where it didn't work out or it wasn't what you thought it was. But if you're unwilling to then step back and take your medicine, but you take the medicine to move even further forward, if you're unwilling to do that, then again, you're just stuck. Yeah. Do you think that's a common team where, you know, people go on some sort of like a personal development journey, whether that is traveling across the world, whether that is, you know, getting into our health and fitness? And they quickly find that it's not just them that they're trying to discover. It's also now the relationships around them, which is difficult. I was going to say it has to be. I don't think it has. has to be, but I think that intuitively becomes part of it. And I think I also think that whether you're looking for that or whatnot, it's core almost because it kind of comes back to what we said

before. If you're traveling or you move to a different country and stuff like that, you are going to struggle if you're just too proud to reach out, put yourself into discomfort. And that's really what it is. It's discomfort, you know, because for me, to start when I first went to Spain and Mexico my Spanish wasn't great but it's like well the only way it's going to get better by speaking to people and I have to and the number of countries or places I went to

that there weren't many people who spoke English I was having to go and join gyms like sign up having to navigate memberships and I was like fuck I don't know half of what they're saying. My Spanish isn't there yet. But I'm just going to, I could run away,

but now I've not got a gym, you know? Or if you're unwilling to go to a bar or something, just again, you have to be yourself in a position to go, well, I'm only going to get better by being in this difficult position. Best way to make a gym rat learn a new language.

Just send them to a gym where they don't speak English. It's either single. go so if. Some of it was brutal, man. There was one in Chile where, I don't know if you've ever been to Chile, but Chile and Spanish is like the Scottish version of English. It's so fast.

It's completely different. And everybody I tried to speak to, I was like, oh, fuck, I'm done. I'm done. And when I first went into the gym, I was just like, oh, I just want a memory of shit of it. And she's trying to yell up to me.

And I was just trying to cling on to certain words. I was like, oh, I think she said this. So I would reframe it and go, is this what you said? And she'd be like, yes or no. I was like, oh, my, just hand me the payment machine so I can pay and go in. Like, this is horrible. Tell me about going back to Scotland after your dad passed away. What was that like?

Because I know there's probably a lot of people. people out there who, you know, were traveling and something tragic happened and trying to navigate, you know, living a different life and also experience grief on the other side of the world can't be easy. It's, oh man, I think the difficult one was to decide to come back when I first heard. So I heard he was dying first. So basically my mom text, I woke up, you know, I was in California, so I was eight hours behind. And my mom text me and says, oh, you know, your uncle's just going in contact, you know, your dad's passed away.

He's in hospital. So my mom and dad separated years and years and years ago. They don't talk or they never spoke. So I got in contact My uncle and he kind of gave me the update And he says You know He'd been taking into hospital the week before

The doctors let him out Against my uncle's wishes My dad also wished to come out of hospital as well And over the course of the week He just got worse And then he basically got rushed back in So my uncle said He came back in the day before

But he says He's going to got basically days to live. And I think I read that. It was like seven o'clock in the morning. And I remember just going for a long walk. I just went, right, work, working weight. Just, what does this mean?

You know? Like, what do I do here? And that was it really, like, I just kind of just thought, I just went through many, many thought processes. I thought, right, I could jump on a flight today. But again, it's 20-hour, you know, 15-20-hour flight. I could get back and he's already passed.

The time was gone. You know, I've missed it. Or I could just wait, find out more news and spend a bit of time with myself. So my uncle did say to me, like, you don't need to come over. But again, you've got that, like, pool anyway. So rightly enough, the day passed, I woke up the next morning, had the message. He passed away in the early hours. And it was...

So I never spoke to my dad for years. And I tell you what the... You know, I don't want to go over the universe or any of that shit. But when I came back at Christmas, I was getting ready to leave you know the two weeks beforehand I was just you know making sure I've seen people and getting things in order

and stuff like that and my mum actually pulled me aside and then she says I think you should go and see your dad and I said you know what I've been thinking about that eh and I just went oh well I'll make a point and then she pulled me aside again you know a number of days after and she's like have you if you go on and see her dad yet and I was like no no no I will I will I'm just making sure this is in place that's in place and whatnot

and then it got to the point where I just ran out of time and I thought well you know what I'm back in July I'll go and see him then and that was there is no July you know what do you think um you know if if that was a lesson for people to learn who are putting things off what do you think what do you think that means for you?

I mean I don't regret it I'm a guy who really tries to not live with regrets I don't think it's I think there can be a moment for regret I think there definitely can be but I think in most cases

if you hold on to regret you're holding on to grief you're holding on to you're holding on to too much and it prevents you from moving forward. But if anything, what we've been talking for now, like 40 minutes, everything that we've spoken about here in terms of the importance of

whatever you are in the world, what growth means to you, what forward movement means to you and whatnot. It is about just prioritizing, like, those things, like the connection. And as I said, I don't regret it. The last time I did see my dad was a very, very good exchange. You know, he was my dad.

He was smiling. He was cracking jokes. Okay, his dementia was really, really far on then. But we had a really, really good exchange and I hold that. But not everybody does. Not everybody gets that, has that memory. Some people, their last memories are, you know, a negative. one like an argument or what could have been and you know it kind of comes back to what we said before

people are too stubborn to to see the real person or sign out their own way and it kind of comes back to what I said before you know sometimes people are refused to take the medicine to move forward so they sit there you know just moving their face around and refusing to take the medicine you know and who's right or who's wrong or whatever and I just feel like you know, look at us right now. Like, okay, we're having a great catch-up and a great conversation and stuff like that, but I'm going to go back to work after this, and I'm sure you are as well. There's things to be done.

And, but equally, after my work day today, I'm meeting, I believe you've had it on, Claire Dunn. Yes, Claire, what a legend. Absolute legend. So she's a good friend of mine. We've been friends for years. So I'm actually meeting her tonight. But I've got tons of work to do at the moment that I need to kind of quote-unquote catch up on. Now, I could work until whatever time tonight and I tick that box.

Or I can go, you know what, invest in my friendship. Yeah. What's more important? The social media post will get done tomorrow. The whatever else needs to get done will get done tomorrow or Thursday or whatever day it is. they're going to get done. But me spending time catching up with Claire is not a thing that I just get done. It's an investment.

Like she's investing in me, I'm investing in her, and that kind of takes things forward. So it's really, really taking a step back and looking at where your priorities lie. I know that's such a cliche quote. But it's stunning how many people just repeat these types of quotes. but they don't they don't understand the quote they don't actually practice it themselves you know i mean you look you go on social media like i don't really follow fitness folk um like you'll know that i rebranded last october november and one of the rules that i said to myself was don't follow fitness professionals and only follow friends and like

potential like mentors and stuff like that um so i'm sure that there's still loads of these folk on the fitness industry that are like they you know they put up the cliche post oh drink water go for steps do these things but they probably don't do it themselves they just see it as a data metric they don't see the quality of it and and then you'll get these folk like potentially gaslighting folk on their content like if you don't prioritize it um you know or in all these different things and and just trying to act a certain way of almost like bullying culture. I mean, there's a time in place for having that type of language.

I certainly use it. But again, context, the right person, the right conversation. But half of these folk is probably more than half of these folk don't even do these things. So this is where I kind of come back to, we all talk about time, priority, I should do this. It's meaningful. I care about these people. I care about these relationships and stuff. And it's like, well, show me.

Or don't even show me, like show yourself, like actually go and do it. I mean, Jesus Christ. And again, I'm guilty of this as well. We're all guilty. Nobody's perfect. But it's not hard. It's genuinely, genuinely not hard to step out of your own way and reach out to somebody, make an apology or just a, doesn't even need to be anything negative. You know, the relationship with my dad.

It probably, it probably did warrant an apology from both of us. I knew I would never get an apology from my dad. And that's probably the reason that I never reached out to him because he's of a generation. You know, he's, he was in his early 80s. He's one of these people, I am who I am, such, so, you know, so forth. He was probably, he was probably never going to apologize to me. for the things that I needed in the past. And that's probably why I didn't reach out to him.

But I would have been more than willing to apologize to him from my side of the coin. And I think, and in hindsight, I didn't need an apology for him from him, sorry. Just the connection would have been enough. And what I've learned to understand is not everybody, you know, we're looking at us too, we're better growth-minded and whatnot.

Not everybody is like that. Yeah. They're really not. Yeah. I think that's something that I've come to realize about, like, relationships, even, like, if I'm thinking about, you know, you've, like, I think we've, we, it's, it's also, like, I've also found this when I'm, when I'm talking about connection now,

because obviously it's become such kind of a big part of, like, my message and my identity. and stuff like that because I felt I've I felt what it's I know what it feels like to to feel disconnected so that so therefore that's why I feel like I've the right to talk about it because I don't just say I feel it just like you've been talking about there actually kind of go through it but I also feel like um when you're talking about with the importance of connection and relationships and stuff like that it can also be overwhelming because like like we know more people now that we you know ever have before it's very difficult trying to maintain all

relationships or leave every relationship or every conversation in a in a in a positive light and uh oh did i make time to did i text my dad or did i text my mom or did i did i text my brothers or did i make sure to go for that coffee with my sister or what about my lifelong friends and there's fucking five of them or what about you know the co-worker who i got on really well with for 10 years and we made a great relationship and i haven't messaged them in in that amount of time and like it can also be kind of overwhelming of like how am I post how am I supposed to you know prioritize because like you said you have to prioritize the the relationships that are important to you but you know when we live in this

kind of busy culture that can be really difficult to do so as well or to navigate that I completely agree with you um you know I kind of come back to my ongoing learning and navigation of ADHD and one of the things that I've recognized how my brain works through that is overwhelm and also ah what's it called rejection sensitivity dysmorphic i think it's called that a lot of ADHD people get that so basically you can perceive something that isn't as you know a negative yeah like for example if i text you and you don't I'm asking you a question, you know, reply back to me. Basters.

Does he not like me anymore? Navigating, that's been quite interesting, and especially when you attach it to things like anxiety and overwhelm. So when I, you know, you've been, obviously we met through a quote-unquote business mentorship, and a lot of them do this, like, oh, you need to send a fuck-ton a message, every single day, blah, blah, blah.

And I can't. I can't. I know I can't. And I am not less than because of it. I'm not going to go and send 40 messages to randomers or whatever. I'm just not. And I don't want to. And I know how overwhelming that can feel to do this every single day and go, right, this is what you must do.

so instead when I look at my DMs sometimes I'll just check out my DMs for a couple of days and I'll jump back in and an old version of me would have apologised and been like oh sorry I haven't replied to you in a couple of days it's because of you know over-explanation now I don't now I just go back in and continue the conversation if I'm having a quote like the DMs I've got at the moment

they've got nothing to do with coaching they've got nothing to do with like lead generation or nothing like that. They're just me and some other person getting, like, I'm speaking to a guy at the moment about the new Superman film and how we both thought it was shite. Like, I don't see him as a potential client. He's just a guy who he seems interesting

and we're just chatting. And even when I look at my WhatsApps, like I get the fear when I see other people's WhatsApps. Like mine, if I scroll back, my last maybe 15 messages are like from the last X number of months. If I go further back in that, then it's stuff from months and months ago. And it's really just because, again, I just do what you just said there. Like he kind of keep core conversations or if I've forgotten about someone and I feel like

I'd like to see them more or whatever. And it's like, oh, I'm just going to reach out to this person. But again, that's how my brain works. I don't know how people, I can see how people can become overwhelmed because I've seen some people's DMs and their WhatsApp and whatnot and I'm just like, nah, that gives me the fear, man, like, absolutely. And the reason I brought it up as well, because like, it's, it, it then becomes when something tragic happens to something, let's say, like an old friend who you went to school with who you

really got on with and, like, they pass away out of nowhere and then like the, when you hear that, your brain automatically goes to I should have made time to meet up with him and now he's gone or something like that and I think on top of living in a society where it makes it far more difficult

for us to be connected to a sole group of people in our community now we have to be trying to be connected to people all over the world and then we have to feel guilty when something tragic happens and we didn't make the time for them that we never could have made time for in the first place. Yeah, that's a good, that's a really good point, actually, you know.

And the word that you use there is guilt. And it shouldn't even need to be there. No. But it is because, as you said, you know, some sort of connection with it. And I think it's what, I think there's like just this pressure as well, you know. I mean, we're talking about time and we're talking about routine. Obviously, we talk about it as fitness professionals as well. And I mean, the folk I work with, their lives are full.

Like, what I help them with is, you know, what we try and do for ourselves is manage our routine, manage our time, prioritize certain things in certain areas and whatnot. And a part of that is, like, we cannot possibly spend our times on our, like, all our time on our phones and or email, like, if people still email or anything. else because what about the time that we give to ourselves? Like, what about that? You know? I mean, you know, I said earlier on about when I heard a news from my dad, and I just went for a walk. It's stunning how often you even catch yourself and go, I mean, at the moment, this is going to sound ridiculous. After watching Deadpool last year, have you seen it,

by the way? Deadpool and Wolverine, you know, gambit with the cards. I was like, how fuck cool would it be to do that shit with the cars? So a couple of days later, go to the supermarket, buys a pack of cars. Watches a few tutorials online. I was like, cool, cool, like, and folk keeps saying on the tutorial,

oh, this is one of the easiest car tricks. I was like, amazing. So I'm going to learn it in no time. And it says, but you just need to put in five or ten minutes a day. So that habit lasted four days. when I was packing my bags to come back here, here was my pack of cards. I was like, shit.

I couldn't even make 15 minutes a day to sit with myself to practice a little card trick. You know, and it's stuff like that, 15 minutes a day to do some yoga, go for a walk along the beach, I don't know, just tying to yourself to be present with something creative

or a thought. You hear about meditation, and folk are like, oh, I can't meditate. Like, you can't sit with your own thoughts for like five minutes. Like, that's, that's pretty problematic. Yeah, well, we, I think, I think it is that's more and more of an issue all the time now. Because, like, I don't, like, I even find myself, like, I don't go for a walk without having a podcast on or something. It's like, me, me going for a walk without headphones in is, you know, it's novel.

It's non-existent. But, like, I used to be able to do that. Or I used to be able to go running without having headphones on or music. playing and now I would never even consider doing that and then I also find like you know you people can't even go for a shit without having their phone on it's like scroll I can't sit I can't sit on the toilet with my own dots for less than five minutes and yeah I think that I think that is worrying I think that that that that's that's kind of pretty much why I think so many people are are probably fucking going and saying it because they haven't they haven't listened to themselves or what what they're

actually thinking and feeling and in such a long space of time. Oh, I bet. I mean, you're looking at the amount of, I think as well, I'm kind of on there, I go back and forth of this, you know. Yes, there's a lot, you know,

I talk about the ADHD thing. I go over the last year, I've seen some folk posting going, I think it's fake. I think it's attention seeking. I think everybody's now got ADHD. And I was like, no, no, no, there's just awareness.

it's just more diagnosed now yeah and but then again you're looking at ADHD you're looking at forms of depression like there's autism there's all these different things now so folk are being like recognising all these different trades

regardless of their circumstance or age or where they're at and that now but there's also when you look at social media there's almost like a bit of a competition to have something wrong with you a little bit. And it's,

and don't get me wrong, like there's been a couple of times where I've jokingly said something about, like I said, my attention or whatever. I take it very, very seriously. I'm just, I just try and be humble with it, if you want to say that.

But then it's almost like, I need attention, so I need to say I've got this or I do that or whatever. And it's like, like, this is ridiculous now. a competition for anything. Yeah, I think we've definitely,

we've definitely turned into a society that whoever is the most victimized, has the most virtue. I think that's definitely become a thing. It's like, you know, you get, and I think it's also to do with the fact that we live in a, you know, whoever gets the most attention, wherever the most attention goes,

that's where, you know, attention is the currency. So if you're, someone who is extremely victimized or, you know, pretends to be victimized, you get the most attention. And again, attention is currency, which, you know, can be difficult because then, like, or you're not really, you're not really trying to solve any of your issues. You're just trying to, you know, broadcast them as loudly as you can. Yeah. And then you look at the other side of the coin though where people I mean

you've spoken about this you've covered this topic like very very well on social media and when you've got people who are genuinely struggling you know committing suicide harming themselves they they live in isolation mentally physically all these other things these are the people who are

really really in trouble and they're scared to come forward yeah there's a huge paradox there isn't there it's like the people that are you here about being victimized are probably the least victimized or to and the people who are really struggling you don't hear about which is it's crazy and the thing is as well the people who probably you don't hate about they probably want to come forward like i mean i've been that person i don't know if you have but it's very very difficult because stepping forward and saying something

but you see these people who like thriving victim who and also people get sick of it. So you might even hear the conversations around you going, oh, for fuck's sake, like Davy's saying this again, like, ha, ha, ha, is that all he does? So when you hear these narratives, you're like, oh, geez, is this, is this how I perceive the fight come forward and I'm genuinely struggling? Well, that's a great point even on the ADHD,

because I completely agree with you there as terms of like, because it's more diagnosed, more people have it, and then therefore you'll have this almost, push back on social media people like everyone has ADHD and you know people giving out about it and then someone who has ADHD and struggling with that feels like that they can't come forward and say well this is why I am behaving like this because of my ADHD it's like all right now I can't even talk about it because now that it's more diagnosed people are giving out about it and

now I can't you know express my actual issues that are causing me problems in society. It's a tough I think it's a tough one. I think it's it's it's never going to go away, you know, I mean, you're looking at the woke culture thing, you know, there's been about, it's been quite nice to see a bit of a kick back and fight back to that. And, you know, and obviously it's, of course, it's taken celebrity to do that, but, but then it requires people like myself and yourself and people listening to this conversation to also contribute to that as well. But I think as well as, I mean, you've obviously got a group chat with your mates and you send reels back and forth with folk.

We all do. Some of the stuff that goes back and forth is a bit like, oh, you know, stuff that you couldn't like, you could put in your eyes. I love that. There's a meme online. That's like when the group chat gets leaked and then everyone's walking out and arrested all your friends. But it's that. It's a bit like, I mean, that's always going to be the case.

but it's like we're still allowed to speak about these things. We're still allowed to laugh at these things. It doesn't mean to say we are these things. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. And it's bringing that back in a bit. Like recognizing, okay, like there's things that are genuinely highly offensive or people genuinely need attention in these areas.

But we can't go too far to that side to then like forget who we are. And what, you know, this is where we, you look at our grandparents, or great grand patents like oh if i did that but i got a smack across the face and i just pull up and it's like okay well that's obviously that's not the answer but if you look at the funnel to that is it's basically saying hey like take a bit of responsibility yeah well i think that's i i remember listening to someone talk about this and i think he was a comedian and he was talking about the difference between stand-up now and stand-up like uh back in the 80s and stuff like that it was because like you literally everyone would go to a room and there would be no phones and

you could literally just say anything you want and you know you were going to get away with it whereas then like cancelled culture came in and everything was broadcasted and if you said the wrong thing then like you were cancelled straight away and it kind of you kind of stifled free speech and it's like just because I say that just because it's it's a joke doesn't mean that I believe and then like you said yeah and then if we if we turn that back to victim culture it's like because everybody has a thing now and if you say something against that person then you you know that's you know, I feel victimized and therefore it also give them that little bit of power to be like, okay, you've you've slagged this in group and, you know, now you're going to suffer for it by,

by being cancelled because you can't say that thing about me or my group. And I think that, that that kind of causes, causes issues as well because I think, you know, we need to be able to, we need to be able to say outrageous things because everybody's thinking them everywhere. Anyway, everyone's laughing about them in their, in their safe circle, WhatsApp groups or, friend like when you're with your friends you can say the most outrageous things ever and because you know that that's your friend and you know you value them as a person and you know who they are as a person then you know that them saying that thing doesn't actually mean that they are that thing yeah it has to be man i mean and the thing is as well when you're looking at social media um

this cat pisses me off about it's like you get all these folk are chasing virality like that's never going to stop. People want attention. They want the lowest, the lowest barrier to entry to attention. It's as simple as that. Yeah, all these like, hey, I'll give you an example. I saw a post yesterday and I was just like, I was going to comment on it and I just thought, move on. Just, just move on. And it was some, some lassie with like 40

or000 followers and she had a whiteboard and she says five things that are holding you back or something. So she writes one and then she gives like a one or two sentences about a context of why. So the first three come up and I was like, I agree with that, agree with that. And then the fourth one,

she just writes seed oils and then says, Nuff said and moves on. And I was like, no, no, no, no, enough said. Like, please tell me why, because you clearly don't, don't read research. So you clearly don't understand

that seed oils aren't a price. problem, but because you want virality and attention and stuff like that, because it's the trendy thing at the moment, especially in the US to shit on seed oils, just write seed oils and save enough setting. It's like, no, but you don't

even know what seed oils are. So she just basically writes us, and then I look at the comments and everybody's like, oh, you're so right, you're so right. I was like, she's not, she's leading you all down a fucking garden path for attention, clerks, views,

whatever. And then I quickly looked at a few of her other posts to find out a bit more about her. And I couldn't because it was all just viral, viral, viral. Now coming back, like, I'm not going to turn around and say that I'm a social media expert by any means because I'm far from it. But the number of times that folk will say to me, it's not hundreds, by the way, it's more like 10. where they say I just I like you I like you

I like how you just talk about things I like your personality they don't they don't say oh I really like that post that you did about you know how to calculate my protein or you know whatever

and I was like because I don't post stuff like that because you can just Google that shit or chat you PT or whatever I want you to work with me because you genuinely believe I'm the we we we align in values and beliefs and whatnot and you generally believe I'm the right person to work with. And again, you touched on Rachel beforehand.

Like, she's a perfect example of that. There's many of them. You look at these folk who aren't chasing short-term attention, but are actually looking to build something of value. So there's substance there behind the message. Aye. And so these people, in most cases, aren't scared about being kind of. sold.

You know, they're not, like, can I swear? Yeah, yeah. They're not scared to say things like cunt or fuck or whatever. They're not scared to, like, offend somebody or whatever. Like I did a post, I think it was back in January where I did a reaction post. And there was context to it. And I actually pulled up research and all that. But I basically, I didn't even, like, criticize the guy.

I just says, like, here's more evidence that you can get your personal training. a certification in a serial box and um and folk attacked me and a couple of folk attacked me now they oh I can't believe you're attacking someone in the industry you should be helping each other blah blah blah blah blah

and I was like you've just missed the point I wasn't even attacking them I was I was criticing the idea that's also just another way for people to kind of shut down your argument I think I've seen that a lot where it's like all right someone's someone says something that's outrageous like, you know, seed oils are

killing you or whatever. And then you come back and you like, you dispute that by showing the, you know, scientific evidence that hold on seed oils aren't actually harmful. And then oh my God, because that person might have been a girl, it's like, oh my God, you're sexist. How dare you attack

this woman like that? I didn't even mention her gender. I said none about whether she was a woman or a man. I was literally crazy. And like that's what they do. Like that is the, the comedic version of of cancel culture

it's like oh you can't say that because like you know you're that means you're attacking my ideas which means that you know you're a terrible person

and I feel victimised so you need to shut up dude I can't imagine how much shit you must have took in your old videos you know when you used to work online yeah

do you I don't get I don't get as much pushback now with the new content although when I when I do talk about when I do talk about like family unit and the importance of that

and community and stuff like that, I can get pushed back off like, you know, turn away feminists who are like, you're trying to take away my freedoms. I'm like, if you don't have kids, that's fine.

But before then, obviously it was more of the, you know, you're attacking my, my, my, you know, my identity is wrapped up in my diet

and therefore I'm going to attack you. It's wild, man, it's what. And the thing is, it's just going to be, it's obviously, you mentioned the,

the attachment to the version of it and the 80s and stuff. It's just like a new version of it. And the thing is as well, like when I think about being a father, and it's something I'm just forever proud of. And it's something I just forever, but not so much now. I used to give myself tons and tons of shit about it and being like, I should be doing better, you're better or whatever.

But now I just kind of look at it as I'm just, I can only try. Like if I'm an example and if I show up, if I show up in different ways, I can't helicopter this kid. I can't monitor him. I can only try and teach him about the importance of values, how to treat people, how to treat himself, like how to identify fear, how to recognize. how fear is beneficial, you know, how to follow what's really, really important for him.

You know, something that I think is very, very rare now, unfortunately, is people who just stand alone or are willing to stand alone. Then I'm trying to just equip him with the tools to navigate where life is going to go for him, and cultures are going to change. like, you know, we're talking about AI and stuff now and all these things. So I don't know what all this means. I'm trying to navigate it myself. But he's going to live, well, you know, hopefully he lives longer than me a lot longer than me.

So I'm trying to help him have the right tools and the right thought process as an emotional or the capability to be emotionally mature to go on and have an effect of life and whatever way, shape or form. Because it's like, you're getting too many folk who think they've got a sussed. And this is, again, I kind of come back to what we're saying before, and with all these like mentors and stuff,

there's a new thing and everybody's like, well, how do I use this to make money? I know what I'm doing. How do you know what you're doing? It's just happened, you know? Like, it's, like everybody's an AI expert now, buy my course, blah, blah, blah. And it's like,

fucking, you're joking? You know, I don't know, I'm kind of bambling. No, no, no. And I think that's also, if we go back to, if we go back to like the, the, the, the, what we're talking about travel and we're talking about, okay, you, well done, you were, you were in this place or well done, you were in this place, or you were in 43 countries. And we're talking about, well, like, in that country, like, where's the substance? Where's the story? Like, how do I feel like I know you were there?

How do I feel like I was there with you? It's like, it's back to the stories. And I think if you go back to the AI thing as well, it's like, everyone, everyone, wants to be an AI expert or everyone thinks they're an AI expert and everyone wants to kind of, you know, monetize it and, uh, you know, just do the quick captions. But like, it's that something I really like about your content as well. It's like, you'll put up a picture, but then like underneath you will actually tell a story in your captions. Um, and I'll read that and I'll feel like, oh, I, I understand his experience and now he's, he's taking his experience to

relate it to this, uh, to this concept or this topic, whether it is, you know, something like eating enough protein or making sure that you train even when you don't want it or you know showing up for yourself and all that stuff but like it it's related back to a story and only a story that you can tell as well and I think that like that's something that you when you see these mentorships and stuff like that they they never talk about that like where's the substance where where you win the story of like because that's what that's what ultimately gets people to to change their behaviors I think it's like oh I I get where you're coming from and now I get how you made that change and that's actually now

inspired me to want to change because I can relate to that because I also don't have the same 24 hours in a day as someone else even though someone wants to tell me that I do. I agree. It's an interesting one because I can imagine you've also got your version of it. Even working with clients, you know, I'm sure you've done these posts, I've done these posts where we go, oh, you sign up for a coach and you get the same template and the same whatever as everybody else. Don't call it personally because it's not. But when I look at coach and we can only teach people a framework and we can only say, look, here's a framework and this is how we can apply it to you. And it's unique to you because no one thinks your way, no one has your life, responsibilities or whatever.

and we can only apply it and make adaptable and give it a direction and whatnot. And it comes back to what you were saying there about the mentorship, because I was in one about a year ago, and it was actually pretty good. It did actually give me some key insights. But one of the things that I, one of the things that I recognized quickly, one of the quickly actually, it took me a few months. was everybody was following the same instructions.

So watch this video, you've got to come into the group call, this is what you do, go off and do it. And then I was like, yeah, but what does that look like for me? Like I'm struggling to build my business because, again, I was looking to redirect. I didn't know what that looked like, but no one was actually helping me with it. They were just saying,

if this isn't working, then your business is failing. like, cool. Well, like, how do I change this? And then again, when I wanted to redirect it and I wanted to change my niche and who I worked with, it was like, oh, just do this exercise and you'll find out. And I did the exercise. I was like, but I need actually somebody to coach me and listen to me and bounce. And it wasn't getting any of that. And then I eventually got told, I'm not going to name names. I got told oh there's this guy in our mentorship

he's doing really well at the moment he's a bit similar to you go and look at his content and do similar to him and I didn't because I went but that's him I'm me

yeah that's crazy that's crazy and it's the same like if we put that in the listeners if we put that in the context of oh you know Michelle down the road follow this diet and she got this result so therefore if i follow michel's diet or if i follow michel's exercise plan all look like michel and it's like well no first and foremost it's like you have a

completely different life to michel so we can't guarantee that that plan will work for you because it works for michel and she's also a different person you know why and it's it's trying to help people understand that because at the end of the day good marketing or any form of marketing is it'll good tapping into folks' emotions, the pain points. Like, we've been taught this. We do it as well, or I do it at least, within context and

without being a skumbug. But unfortunately, we are in an industry that sometimes feels like we are insanely outnumbered. you know it's like the david and goliath thing and it and it does feel very very exhausting and tiring at times because like for example we know that we can help ex person

and then they'll go oh yeah well i haven't signed up with jimmy the ifbbb pro in dubai huh you like really like you know it's it's like you know it's like you know it's seen in the matrix where Keanu reads characters before he becomes Neo and he opens the door and he was like like fuck this I'm off and then Trinity stops them and she says

you know where that road goes like he's looking down it and she says you've walked down it a thousand times you know you want to keep doing that and in our content and even in our content conversations whatever it is we can we the number of people that we say that to

but they still choose it because it's easier to feel like you're doing something productive it's safe but it's familiar yeah then actually like make the change and change is scary like change is so fucking scary sometimes

especially when it means turning your back on something or completely flipping it something on it familiar on his head in that. I totally understand it. You know, when you're talking about traveling, I've got friends who will never leave here, like Aberdeen. They will never leave here. I've got friends who, that the idea of even going to the west coast of Aberdeen is scary, let alone going to somewhere like Australia or bloody Peru or something, you know. And that's okay. Like, maybe they know that and they're okay with it and they're okay with never know inputs on the other side for me personally

like i think it's a really really sad outcome but that's their choice and when you're looking at people with in the fitness industry you know you're looking at like people who struggle with their body whether they're overweight or whether they like to get a muscle or improve their performance whether it's lifting running swimming whatever if there's potential there but they're too scared to find out what it is and where they're supposed to go to achieve that. I mean, at the end of the day, that's their choice. It's not for me new to judge or make any comments with, if they decide it's time, then I'd like to think there's someone like yourself or myself available to support that, you know? Yeah, you can't force people to live a life

that you think would be beneficial for them or you can't you can't force people into change or you can't you also can't like if they keep going down the the road of the of the trainer that they know

isn't or hasn't helped them before but you know they might gravitate towards it because of what we talked about in terms of attention culture and that also comes for like fat diets and stuff like that because that's obviously grabs attention as well. I don't think you can stop people from continuing to make that mistake.

You can only be there ready to create the frameworks that work for the person when they're ready to come into your coaching vicinity and try a different approach. But again, it's like the analogy you use. They'll continue to walk through that door and repeat the same behaviours and get the same outcome if that's what they want to choose to do. and it's like you deciding to go traveling around the world and also having to grieve the person that you're going to lose because it's like you choose a different outcome and you will end up becoming a different person as a as a byproduct of that as well and that and again I think

that's a big reason why people don't leave Aberdeen or don't leave their their community or don't go after the job or don't try to change their their health outcomes or their body composition or whatever it is. I think it's rude than fair because it's like if for me to do that I have to leave behind something that I'm not ready to leave behind whatever that is. That's pretty scary.

It really is. It's exciting. It can be exciting. It can be, yeah. It can be because no, it doesn't need it because just can be. Let's let's wrap it up here. What's next for Roy Richie before we leave you and and try to drag you back on in another couple of months.

What's next on the cards for you? Well, I would, I would love to start a podcast. For anybody listening, I love to yop. I've been told I'm a big yapper. I don't do small talk, but I've been told that that's an ADHD time. Well, there's enough, there's enough shore form content on the internet and attention grabbing their hook so i think uh i don't think that's a bad idea i think i think i think you'd really enjoy it uh well this is it so it's something it's on the cards for me

not yet so probably in there what about what about stateside what's the what's the um stateside i would love i would like to i wouldn't love to just because the states is a bit of a nervy place at the moment. Yeah, it's a bit of an eye-opener, mate. That's for sure. It's like, ooh, this is what people,

like, only know, you know, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it,

is it, is it, is it, is it, um, long term, like, I've got to be honest,

no. And I just feel like there's, there's too much in terms of, like, the medical system. the education system. Like, I don't know if I've spoke about it on my content,

but I'm going to need a heart surgery, heart surgery at some point in the future. Like, I don't know when it's just going to happen. If I get that in the States, I'm in at least $40,000 a debt. Just that. If I get it here, it's free. You know?

It blows my mind. I don't know if you notice. I'm kind of coming off the back end of an eye infection. And I tried to put it off. I thought it was a stye. And I tried to put it off. And I was like, I'm going back to Scotland in 10 days. And I eventually thought, no, you know what? It's my eye. I'm not willing to roll a dice here. And I went to see someone and it was 170 to get seen. And it was going to cost me another 150 to get the medication. but the doctor she put in some sort of code into the prescription and I got it for 20. But even then I was like 190 just to see someone for a half an hour and get a prescription like, fuck that man.

I think there's too much with the US in that terms, education system, political system and stuff like that. And also what we spoke about at the start of the conversation, what my needs are. in terms of connection, community and stuff. I met loads of people, and I met some people every week going to group stuff, but it was only ever that. Like, I knew them, I would see them and be like, hey, and sometimes I would try and get to know them.

I'd be like, oh, so what do you do? Like, what have you been up to this week? And it just kind of felt forced. I, like, they just felt like no one was willing to meet me in the middle and go, hey, what's that? you find going for food sometime or whatever and and like I said I just found that very very difficult but then I did hear the Americans are very much like that and but then you could say the same with the UK and Ireland yeah do you think it's different though if you meet

Americans when you're in somewhere like South America where um you know people are almost forced to slow down so that so they don't even feel guilty having that conversation or like they have to be somewhere. I think if you're meeting people like that in those places, then they are a certain, they're cut from a certain cloth. Yeah, that's true as well. That's true as well.

But no, I'm here for another two two and about weeks. As I said, I'm going to, I'm actually taking a break from work. I'm taking a full week off to go to Madeira and connect. Walk to walk

as we're just talking about. walk to walk put your put your phone down be present I love that Roy where can people contact you if they want to talk about coaching the easiest one is Instagram funnily enough

my Instagram handle is Roy Richie with a T Roy Richie dot coaching I'm sure you can find me on the same thing on Facebook or that's probably the two best ways all right I appreciate you

but I appreciate our conversation conversations until the next one. Keep doing your thing. Keep helping people. Keep up up the great work that you're doing and make sure you tell Claire that I was asking for. No, that's certainly well, mate. It's here. The same goes for you. It's like I genuinely, I really appreciate you as a person. Like I always love your thought process, watching your stuff, reading your stuff, sharing your stuff, telling other people about you. And you know what? I'm just going to to come Ireland someday. I think I'm wait I'm waiting for I'm waiting for it so we'll get you I'll get you up on stage to talking to all the school fitness members for me all right.

Oh my man you won't be able to pull me off. All right. I'm all right my man until next time I appreciate you. Take it easy man.