The Uneducated PT Podcast - 🎙️ Episode 117 – Culture & Politics with Ryan Eveleigh: Sadia Khan, Sexless Men, Porn, Faith & the Loneliness Crisis

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

In this episode, Ryan Eveleigh takes on some of the toughest conversations around culture and politics in 2025. We start with Sadia Khan, the Dubai-based dating coach caught in scandal — from leaked affair allegations to questions about her credentials and sky-high coaching fees. What does her story reveal about the cracks in the booming self-help industry? From there, Ryan unpacks the bigger picture:The Sexless Generation: Why record numbers of young men are single, dateless, and sexless — and why married Christian men remain surprising outliers when it comes to intimacy.Porn as a Substitute (and a Trap): 1 in 10 Gen Z adults watch porn daily, with strong links to depression and loneliness. Why are liberals twice as likely to report daily use as conservatives?Social Anxiety & Faith: Gen Z reports four times the anxiety of Boomers and is the least religious generation in U.S. history. Could a return to faith and community be the antidote to isolation?This episode pulls together hard data, cultural trends, and uncomfortable truths about how we connect (or fail to) in today’s world. 🔥 With Ryan Eveleigh, The Uneducated Podcast doesn’t just skim headlines — it digs into the stories shaping a generation.

But I wanted to talk to you about dating dynamics and loads of different kind of stuff off the back of that. And obviously we said we were going to start with Sadia Khan. So just for the listeners who might not know who Sadia Khan is, I just put up a little bit of a description here. So known online as the Sadia psychology, Sadia Khan is a Dubai-based dating coach and influencer. She promotes herself as someone who helps men, particularly to become high value, through coaching on confidence, relationships and emotional intelligence. She claims to have a background in psychology and a licence to practice, although this has been disputed and she hasn't actually proven that she has one.

Anyway, in 2021 audio recordings and a screenshot were leaked, these allegedly show Saudi having an affair with a man who was already engaged. In the recordings, she reportedly responded to the man's fiancé saying she could have him on his wedding day if she wanted to. Critics are also questioned her credentials. She has presented herself as a psychologist, but unable to verify this. She claims she trained and charges $500 an hour per sessions,

and others have claimed that she charges $8,000 an hour for a session. Just an adjustment for inflation, all you know. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Saudia said to touch very high rates. For example, her three-month program reportedly costs $6,000. Former clients have accused her of scamming, paying up to several thousand dollars and getting no service in return. Saudi's teaching centre around integrity, emotional honesty, and high personal standards.

So these allegations hit hard. that are messaging. So there's a little bit of a contrast between the brand and the behavior. And I suppose that's what... Yeah. And I suppose that's what I probably wanted to get into with you today is because obviously because, you know,

this is the self-help industry almost in that way. And, you know, from you and me who come from kind of coaching backgrounds as well, well, like, obviously, you know, it's... There's little regulation and anyone can say there anything. and you know I think there's a lot there's and obviously there's probably some really really good relationship coach I

know some really good relationship coaches actually and then like just like we like we know some really good personal trainers and nutritionists and physios and then there's obviously really really bad ones or ones that maybe you know don't don't do what they say and I just think it's probably

it's probably in the in the society that we're living in now where and I'm going to go through the statistics of like how men are dating and the are struggling in the dating market struggling to get to go on dates struggling to get married struggling to have sex um you know struggling financially all these things I say it's very easy for someone like that to then pray on the emotions of vulnerable men who are probably quite lonely and looking for intimacy yeah it's this is the thing it's similar in the coaching industry right low barrier of entry which means like anyone could just escape by but it goes down to the point of like hypocrisy you know it's like if you're going to charge that much and then just deliver nothing that's pretty brutal you know what i mean like that's pretty savage and i don't i don't know how legally you can get away with that yeah i don't like i don't even care about what she's charging because all right i'm sure there are men who make loads of money who can probably afford that and it doesn't mean that much to them anyway um and if she can get them the

result that they want fair enough but like yeah but you know as it says there like there's probably a lot of people who haven't been getting the result that she wants and like when you actually look at the videos and you know how did you see what's his name his name is a nube or someone who goes around basically call now influencers who were Goob, sorry Goob yeah, he's from the States and he's a he has a background in law

I think it is and he does he does all this kind of invest investigation kind of stuff and he's very very good at it like well he went for her like yeah he's not stopping either well apparently it was how it started was she actually a filtered one of her

uh videos so she had a smaller waist and obviously that's how he became you know he clocks those waste filters and stuff like that yeah yeah you're able to see you're able to see in the like reflection of the background how

the shape is changing on like doors and stuff like that and he catches them out like that and so that's so all he did was basically call her out on that and like oh you're supposed to be you're selling confidence and yet you're you're using these waste filters and you know like I think

I think that's pretty good that people do that because like we already have uh you know a social media curated feed where people you know don't look the way that they really look and that probably puts pressure on a lot of kind of young people on social media as well so like you know and i and i and i also get like people want to you know produce their best self on the instagram because it is a highlight feed i get that but also not creating these kind of unreal expectations of what the human body actually looks like and if you are confident you wouldn't be doing something like that as well. So that's like one. Yeah. So that's one that's that's one hypocrisy. But then when she was

challenged on that, I think she went all out like, uh, abuse of them and stuff like that. And that's when he obviously, uh, he put that up and then other people started obviously to people who obviously know that they got burned by her before, uh, started to contact him and saying, you know, stuff that she has been done. So obviously she has a, she has a full closet of, you know, misbehaviors and stuff like that and it's come to reap at the end of the day. Yeah, like I think I'm actually going to circle

to that waste filter thing and then I'm going to talk about Seth a little bit with the waste filter kind of stuff and you know the editing of photos you know, color grading something and that's fine, right? You know, you want it to make,

do you want things to look aesthetically pleasing? But even for example, my before and afters, there is no like filter nothing because then it's just a falsehood and then you kind of put a bar

of like okay so let's say you create a fake transformation right like a one that's just not real right then all of a sudden the bars up here and people are going to expect that right and there is no way you can reach that

because you've never actually got there because you use like a waste filter or whatever it may be and I think think that's why I'll like circle back. Authenticity in the industry and on social media to me is like super important. And one thing I will say is you're always going to get someone disgruntled, pissy, or annoyed because they didn't get what they wanted in the way that they wanted it, right? Whether you're a coach, businessman, entrepreneur. That's that's like part of business. It's ruthless.

You know what I mean? And they'll be like, man, man, man, man, that happens. But I heard the the leap voice note, you know, and saying what she was saying and doing what she was doing, like having the affair and all that kind of stuff, it literally like is a direct kind of contradiction to who she is and what she was supposed to represent, right? So that's where the issue, like, for me, lies. You know, it's like you can't do that, hon, because you're supposed to practice what you preach. Yeah, yeah. Right?

So like, it's different than Bonnie Blue coming out and saying, yeah, I'm going to fuck your man on his wedding day. And you know what? You know what really bugs me? Is I actually have to,

oh, damn it, Carl, you put me in a situation. Because I actually have to say, you know what? Fair plate of Bonnie Blue because,

and not because she's doing what she's doing. She shouldn't, in my opinion, right? But at least she's come out and said it. Yeah, transparency. Like she's doubled down.

I can respect that. I can respect that, but I don't really respect her to a honest opinion. Yeah, you don't expect the behaviours. But you can respect, like, it's, I, I look at the exact same thing of, um, uh, performance enhanced and drugs. It's like, I don't care if someone uses pets or not, but what I do care about is someone who lies about using pads and then sells a program or, uh, something off the back of that. Like, that's wrong.

And it has nothing to do with whether you're using performance enhancing and drugs or not. It's the dishonesty in the, in the sale that's the, I think that, that, the thing that kind of gets people kind of riled up. Totally agree. And you know what I would say there is if someone ever came to me and said, Ryan, I want a body like yours.

I see you never get a body like mine. Because your body is not like mine. Yeah. Right? So, and then I've seen other people and other coaches be like, yeah, you know, a prospect or whatever may be like, I want a body like yours.

I can get your body just like mine. It's like, oh, so we're in the cloning industry, are we? Yeah. example we're doing we're going to vac grow another another me how the hell is this going to work yeah and i like i i never understood that it never it never made any sense but irrespective of the person doing their thing with regard to peas not peas whatever if they then peddle it as like okay you know you can look just like me by doing x y and z it's like okay hold the phone right

it's not about looking like me or trying to achieve what i want to achieve what is it that you want to achieve and let's make sure you can reverse engineer that right and the problem with you know going back to like satir Khan is i don't know like what her success rate is in to be brutally honest i'm not as informed here with regard to to to what she's suffering and how she's doing it but her being caught out with the waste filter thing because if you're going to be a dating coach a confidence coach right and that's a confidence coach right how can you then, like the paradox is too evident, how can you then slap a waist filter on and say you're confident, right? It just, the math doesn't math for me there, right?

Like, you know, there's so much more respect for someone who, you know, has a dad bought and just rocks it. Yeah. Then someone who like has sinful apps, for example. Do you know what I mean? what I would say is it reminds me of that great quote it's like a reputation takes years to build and you know

minutes to destroy and I think if you are someone who is maybe a little bit deceitful or just lying or just not being who you are and hiding that as well which she clearly has been because like she's preaching one thing but then her actions are

saying another thing. Like once that's, once, once that gets out, you're, like, you're not,

because I always, to think of that, I think, another coach said this to me years ago. I think it was a, a business coach and he goes, you can only, you can only sell shit to someone once.

Because after that then, they realized that it's shit. You can't, you can't sell it to them again. And I think, I think that's, like, once someone gets found out like that,

it's very hard for them to, to continue. you to have a thriving business the way they might have had before because okay now it's very known by the public that you weren't who you say you are that is true but there is a flip side to that right which is can you repeat that quote about the reputation thing so it's like reputation takes years to build and seconds to destroy right okay so the flip side to that coin is if someone just doesn't like you or someone just has it out for you yeah they can go and just try it best to decimate your reputation.

True. You know what I mean? True. Right? So there is a flip side to that that people need to be aware of that. Some people are just pretty fucking malicious. I think that's when character comes into play because people will try to destroy your reputation. But if you have character, if you're honest in your pursuits, I think that always comes to the forefront over time. It's kind of like the Charlie Kirk thing. Everyone wants to call them a fascist and a racist. But, you know, people who actually have their eyes open can actually see his character and it's like okay you can try to trick me but

i have my own eyes yeah exactly like you know as marks rabbi should say virtue is its own reward you know and it goes back to like people can try to rip you apart take down you know you can even go look at religion for example you can see the same thing but at the end of the day you're hey I'm about to quote King Baldwin the sixth or the fifth, your soul is in your keeping alone. You know what I mean? So, you know, people do have this. You always get that, you know, disgruntled person or that, that hater. You know what I mean?

He's like, I'm going to try to destroy you. And that's like, go ahead, bro. But, you know, my soul is my keeping alone and I know the truth. And I'm a height of that. Yeah. And I'm a peace with that. And what I would say on top of that, and this kind of falls into what I wanted to really touch on today as well is like,

Obviously, she's a dating coach. She markets towards men who are kind of isolated and lonely and on their own. And obviously, there's a huge vacuum for that at the moment as well. So that's why I think it will become more and more popular and more prevalent, more kind of, you know, dating gurus like her. And I think there is loads of them and there's good ones and there's bad ones. But, you know, if we look at the statistics around her clientele, men who are struggling with dating, rise in sexlessness among young adults age 22 to 34 so from the National Survey of Family Growth never had sex males increased from 4% to 10% in the last 10 years that's men who have never

had sex at all and again this is 22 to 34 year olds females were still versions right yeah yeah yeah so from 22 to 34 have never had sex that's gone from 4 in 2013 to 10% in 2020. So that's a huge increase, a 6% increase of sexless men. And no sex in the past year, 9% up to 24%. And no sex in the past three months, for males it went from 20% up to 35%. It's also increased in females as well,

just not at the same level. So 5% to 7%, 8% to 13%, and 21 to 31. So the increase, these increases represent a doubling in sexlessness rates from young males over roughly the last decade and Pew Research shows that over 60% of men under 30 are now single and sexual intimacy for both genders is at a 30 year all time low. So a lot of sexless people over the last decade and you know what else has also grown over the last decade? And you know what else has also grown over the last? decade?

Tell me. Social media. Since 2010. The main driver of the decline is monogamous sex. So sex with a single partner in the past year rather than permissuous activity. Marriage rates and

sexual activity are both declining in young adults. Yeah, people are getting married. I have this in my talk that I'm doing at the end of the month where marriage rates have decreased by half over the last 30 years, which I think is insane.

And this is a great one for those listening, right? So married Christian men are outliers. They continue to report more frequent sex lives compared to non-religious or unmarried men. So if you want to have lots of sex, get married and find religion. That's what the data says is. So, you know, so. Bro, I told you, find Christ that you'll sort of all, right?

But it's interesting, isn't it? because young people are less religious than ever before. They're on social media more than ever before. They're less religious than ever before. They're having less sex than ever before. They're not getting married. They're not getting into relationships. And, you know, when you have all this kind of isolation

and lack of intimacy and so on and so forth, you know, it leads a vacuum for people like Sadia can to make, a quick book off, I would imagine. I agree, but there is, there's context we've got to kind of consider there as well, right? And the context you've got to consider is, you know, a reduction in sexlessness. Yeah. Is that also in correlation with a reduction in hedonistic whim? Right?

Explain what you mean by that. So like, hedonistic whim is like, okay, you know, I'm just going to go sleep with a girl every night or a girl's going to sleep with a guy every single night. No, I don't think so because they said also the main driver of the client is monogamous sex. So sex with a single partner in the past year. Oh, right. Okay. So they have a monogamy is drunk.

Yeah. So these people aren't having sex with anyone. These people are at home on their phones, socially anxious, depressed. You know, and this is an interesting one. So it's not just sex, obviously, but obviously sex is obviously a byproduct of being social and, you know, all this stuff. So 44% of Gen Z men report no romantic relationship experience during their teen years, which is about double the rate of the older generations. So Gen Z 18 to 22 year olds, those who were teenagers, basically during COVID and, you know,

during the digital era, they had a double rate of like no date compared to like their parents. only 54% of Gen Z said they had a romantic relationship during their teenage years compared to 78 to 76 to 78% of baby boomers and Gen X and if you think about that right

like I speak about this all the time it's like you know back in you know 20 years ago 30 years ago like if you liked someone you had to go up and you had to ask them out or everyone went to these dances and the girls were on woodside and the lads were in woodside

and you had to walk over and you had to say oh will you dance with me and so on and so far Like now kids just can just stay at home and they can just swipe on their phone and they can, you know, double tap someone if they like them on Instagram or they can send them a Snapchat story or they can just, you know, like, you know, not even not even attempt to chat the women. They can just go on Xbox or they can watch porn. You know? This is the problem is, I think it undermines the whole premise of, and I think this is what creates the vacuum for people like SETIA can't kind of jump into. But I will play devil's advocate here. Yeah, go ahead.

Neil Strauss wrote the game. Yes, great book. Okay, and that was a very, very long time ago. Yeah. Right. So I think the vacuum has, I don't know what the correct verbiages for it, but the vacuum has increased. Yeah.

So to speak, and I think that's happened since COVID, due to the rise of social media, right? So from my perspective, right, because this is just two guys talking on a podcast, you know, it's not that good running for office. Oh, I am, I did, I, just to let everyone know the reason I've called the uneducated

PD is because I know nothing so you know don't expect anything from me please I'm just fucking I just hear shouting out stats that I found on Pew Research Jesus Christ I don't know you're like in the firing line just for talking it's hilarious you know

that's why you're going to keep doing it but kind of surfing back I think with regard to social media and and this is actually a perfect time to actually mentioned that experiment. A few weeks ago, I did an experiment where I would purposely block an hour. I would put an hour on my phone. I'd start a timer. And I would just doom scroll, right? On purpose. And I found that my attention span got lower, my ability to focus dropped, my perceived happiness, right? And now that could be subject to bias, right? But perceived happiness dropped.

Yeah. And I think that was due to the fact that I was always, like purposefully, quick dopamine, you know, scrolling scrolling, scrolling. Yeah. All of these things happened just due to an hour a day, not of working in terms of on social media, but actually using myself as a test bunny, right, and kind of seeing what that did to me. And I think you take the whole COVID thing, which we all want to forget and I wish we could, and then you take social media and you kind of coincide the two. and then you take things

and this is where I think the real precipice is. It's Tinder, grinder stuff like this. I think that's the precipice of the issue because what happens is you've got guys who don't add girls too, right? So I'm speaking

for both the ladies and the gents out there who don't have the opportunity to socially develop to the degree that they could. Right? So how does one socially develop? I'll explain simply how like you socially developed because I was and probably still am a social retard right like how did I socially develop I just went and I spoke to random strangers now I'm not telling

you to go jump in the strangers van or anything like that you know what I mean for any you know people out there listening but what I'm saying is I had to get over the fear of approaching and then you'd go speak to a girl she'd be like fuck off and that's totally fine that's okay they're totally entitled to do that. Just like if a chick came to me and she was like, you know, I was like, no, I'm sorry, I'm taken or whatever it may be. Right. And I think that when you don't have the ability to actually condition yourself

and strengthen yourself and strengthen your resolve through talking to actual people, manoe mono, right, instead of through a screen. Because as we've noticed recently, people are very brave when they're behind a screen, you know. but then all of a sudden you meet them in person and they're all and they start almost like glitching as if they're in the matrix oh i think we are you know what bro like there was a guy who has an ikeo 276 and he just dropped two facts he was like one i think we're in a simulation and two i think god's real and i think he's made the simulation i was like okay my brain ain't at that at that level

so i'm just going to go okay i'll leave that one to the side yeah yeah yeah i just got to accept what he said and continue on in the I'm going to take it for what it is that I'm going to keep going, right? But I think if people don't cut their teeth on conversational dialogue, on being able to talk, and this is where that whole vacuum actually comes into play of like, I believe this, or this can't be right or X, Y, Z, because you can't just have a cathartic dialogue. You can't just be like, okay, dude, so you think this. Or, okay, gal, so you think this.

And it's like, yeah, I think this, this is this. Okay, cool. So I think this, this, this. So, like, where can we find some common ground? or if someone tells you, like, I don't want to talk to you, to not get so butt hurt about it and to not be so upset about it. It's almost like the past COVID, what you call it, Gen Z, right?

It's like a level of hypersensitivity. Yes, bingo. You know, like, like, as if someone says something like, get away from it. I think you're ugly. And it's like, oh, I need therapy. Oh, God. No, you don't need therapy, mate.

You need to get over it. It's the, so the, the, so the, the, Statistics on this are also correlate with what you're saying. So resilience in Gen Z are at an all-time low and social anxiety is at an all-time high.

So Gen Z are now four times the rate of anxiety compared to baby boomers and about double then Gen X. And I would imagine that is because you know, what creates what creates resilience and social resilience? It's talking to people,

it's communicating, it's, you trying to find her way. It's like, you know, you can't, unless you like have. Failing forward, Carl, failing forward is what resilience is. So a simple example of like social resilience. Let's say there's 10 people in a crowd, right? And you go, okay, I'm going to go talk to 10 of them. Five of them tell you to fuck off.

But you still talk to the other five, right? So you go, okay, I've got five fuck, awesome. I'm still going to speak to these other five lads and the other five girls or it's a mixture of both who cares. It really doesn't matter, right? That cultivates resilience. but with things like Tinder is it Tinder Yeah Tinder yeah Tinder yeah

Tinder is a very good example You can just swipe Yes And you don't need to deal with deal with whatever it is And then for me that's the issue is you can't cultivate a sense of resilience So you get butt hurt

Over the most tiny thing And then all of a sudden Because you're not like socially integrated so to speak You then think oh my God I need therapy and it's like you don't need therapy you just need to keep doing the thing to cultivate resilience because eventually someone's going to have a good conversation with you

or eventually someone's going to you know swap opinions and have a nice dialogue right but like it's like this this is an example of an example of a lack of resilience is this right I'm going to have a conversation with someone the person then goes you know what I hate you I don't like you or whatever says something negative right and then you go you know what, now I'm not going to talk to anyone. That's an example of no resilience, right? That's you literally just going, oh, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to retreat into my shell. Now, an example of resilience is this person tells me to fuck off, okay, cool, not a problem. On to the next person. Let me see if this person wants to have a conversation or a dialogue. And when I'm referring to a conversation or

dialogue to whoever's listening, I'm literally referring to a conversation or dialogue, whether it's a guy, girl, doesn't matter. I'm not referring to dating culture as a whole here. I'm just referring to like the actual social resilience that needs to be built, you know, and people, this phrase starts, this phrase is coming up a lot more frequently. And I think you've noticed as well as social anxiety. You see? And the social anxiety and anxiety usually stems from either too much choice and an impediment to make a decision. Right. And when you're sat behind your phone and, you know, you're spoiled for choice, that's an issue but you're not actually spoiled for choice

you're under the illusion you're spoiled for choice now let's take what is it Tinder right Tinder let's take 10 of the 10 of the do what is it how does it they match on Tinder right yeah yeah they match on Tinder yeah yeah right swipe

yeah I've never never installed dating app in my life never will 78% of dating app users rapport feeling burnt out with Gen Z especially affected. The average user spent 51 minutes per day on these apps. Many users describe experiencing emptiness, sadness, fatigue and declining self-esteem due to the repeated rejections ghosting or lack of real connection. You see that? So imagine being rejected over an app and actually then that

adversely affect you to the point where you just kind of retrieve within yourself. Yeah, but see, this is where like I would have more empathy towards younger people than than people of our generation or older because we didn't we grew up in a different generation where you had to like your environment was designed to talk to people right so like if you look at if you think about gen z right they don't have to go to the cinema with their friends on the weekend because they have Netflix they don't have to talk to their waiter or waitress because you can now scan the barcode and just use your app to order you don't actually have to talk to the waiter waitress or like i have a friend who makes their kids actually order their food and like because obviously it helps to build resilience

Like there's contactless delivery and stuff. 100%. Like you can, you can just get just eats and it can get dropped to the door or like even if you think about even going into like your supermarket, right? Instead of talking to the waiter or the waitress, you can now just go to the self-service machines. So look, everything has turned into instead of interacting with that human, you're interacting with that machine or that app. And that app doesn't, you know, talk back or try to challenge you. And like, so they, and like it was the same with. But when we were in school, you had to interact with other kids,

but they actually got to grow up finishing school on screens. Yeah, you know what you're right. You're actually right. Like, they need it. I need to actually have a little bit more empathy with Gen Z there because yes or no. So yeah, I do actually agree. I need to have some more empathy for Gen Z there. But you also have the ability to take action.

Yes, that's true. You can walk out your door. Yeah. Right? You can walk out your door. You can go to a restaurant. But the problem is because of the digital conditioning, people think that's not a thing. People are like, I can go to a restaurant by myself and, you know, have a conversation with the waiter. It's like, yeah, that's not normal. It actually kind of is. It's just not now. You know what I mean? So yeah, on what I mean. So yeah, one side I do have a bit of empathy, but for anyone who is part of Gen Z, so to speak,

and I've literally written down Gen Z 18 to 20 years old just to make sure I'm getting the correct clarity here. To anyone who is listening to this and isn't like the Gen Z kind of vibe, just understand that there is no reason and there's no impediment to you taking action anymore. COVID is over. Get up, get out there, go for it. And understand that when you get rejected, whether it be a guy saying, you know, he thinks you're a loser or whatever maybe, it's okay, right? You're cultivating character. You're cultivating resilience, you know, and you're also cultivating a level of persistence, you know. And these are all important traits and virtues you need because if we're being honest, the world is not a fair place.

It's a very unfair place. Okay. and you're never ever going to have it fair, but you can definitely put yourself in a position where you can make any obstacle a triumph, right? Ryan Holiday's obstacle is the way. It's probably one of the best books. If someone has, so anyone listen to this,

if you have social anxiety, if you're afraid of something, anything of the sort, please go and read The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday, because that'll help you so much, right? But COVID is over and it's left its mark. But I say this quite frequently, which is like you have open wounds, right, where you just bleed on everyone, right?

Then you have them half stitched up where you're kind of bleeding on everyone, but you're kind of aware that you're fixing it. And then you have a scar. And a scar you can wear with pride, like, yeah, I went through this. And it made me a better person for it. Right. So just understand that you're not stuck at home anymore. And if you are at home and you feel anxious about going out, I'll tell you this for free, go out.

And don't use, and look, I'm not necessarily saying, you know, be sober. But if you are in a social situation and you feel like you have no choice but to drink in order to lubricate your ability to have a conversational dialogue, then you need to make sure you put yourself in that situation without. booze first. Do you want to know another interesting study on Gen Z because I'm obsessed with them because of my project? So the Gen Z are at a record low of drinking alcohol

and you know a lot of people then interpreted that as a older well you know oh we have all these things wrong with this generation but I look at them they're drinking less than the other generation before because obviously there was a big drink culture for boomers and Gen X and stuff like that but the reason that they're not drinking as much

is because they're actually not leaving their houses because they're so socially anxious. And they're driving less than all the generations before them as well. That is like, okay, that's mad. That's from John, Jonathan Haight is his name. And he basically wrote this book called The Anxious Generation and has all these stats in it. They're wild.

They're absolutely wild. That's insane because you would look, at that on the surface and you'd be like, oh, that's great. And then you realize it's actually because they're not leaving their home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It shows how, like, you can kind of spew statistics to kind of look a certain way, but they might not be what it seems. And I suppose we could say the same about the ones that I'm sharing here.

I'm just like, I just think about my, like, nephew and stuff like that. And, like, he's young. He's only, he's 12 going on 13, maybe now. And, like, I think of the society that he's going to grow up in now, like, He's grown up with screens. He's never known anything else. He'll grow up with AI. He won't know anything else.

Like, they're fast on technology. But one thing I can say that I'm not worried about is that, like, he loves sport. He plays football. He plays GAA, which is like the Irish football. And I think, like, if I'm thinking back on, like, what really builds resilience in kids, like, nothing better than sports, surely. Team sports, bro. Team sports.

Yeah. And I found this when I was playing rugby, that a lot of rugby players who are, who were going into, for example, retirement, tended to go into the job market and integrate so well in whatever job they did because they were so used to functioning in a team. Yeah. Do you see what I mean? So they learn how to socially riff off one another and be like, okay, cool, I need to steer clear of this person.

I need to talk to this person and so on and so forth. So actually, a good, like, bit of advice for anyone out there who is socially anxious, go get yourself into some kind of activity. that includes a lot of people. And yes, you will feel anxious, but understand that that feeling of anxiety is actually totally okay and do it anyway.

Yeah, 100%. And I was talking to a anxiety kind of counselor therapist, and I remember she was saying, like, obviously, like, it's always being around and there's always been people who have solved. Obviously, the rates are a lot higher now because of the environment we've designed,

but there's always been people who have had incredible anxiety, like to the point where they couldn't leave the house. And she used to talk about, to me, about, like, you just have to focus on the little wins with them people. And they build. Yeah, that's like, that we used. Yeah, and, like, she used to say that, like, she would give a client, like, a list of things to do in a day

that would count as wins for improving your kind of social confidence. And one could be, was as simple as, like, when you go to the shop to buy something, you know, look the, Just just look the person at the eye or like smile with them. And then that can build on to, you know, asking the coffee lady or the coffee lad. Like, oh, how are you today? Oh, lovely weather.

Like, just little simple things that probably you and I wouldn't even think is anything. But like, it's actually huge for some people who are who are in, you know, where they are, that low down kind of. I totally agree with that. And, you know, I'm actually, this is quite ironic. when I was a kid, right, I was so, so, so afraid to talk to people. And I knew there was an issue because I knew I knew I had to do that, right? I knew like, well, I have to speak to people in order to, you know, integrate into society.

I can't just, you know, be myself and just, just like be alone. You have to be able to talk to people. And that's exactly what I did. So I would set myself little goals, little tasks. I'll go, okay, so you're going to go to the shop and I wouldn't need anything or I wouldn't want anything but I wouldn't even buy anything. And I would be like, okay, the goal is to find out

the cashier's name and they would have a name tag, right? So then I'll be like, okay, so that's their name. Then I'm going to call them by their name and that's a win. Yeah, that would be exactly it. Yeah, that's exactly the type of stuff that she would be looking for. Exactly. And it'll be a little win, right? And I'll be like, okay, sweet.

And you know what? I would be super anxious doing it. then once I did it, I was like, oh, that's so cool. And then I remember I went to the same shop again. And the person remembered me, the cashier, she's, oh, lady, you know, and she was like, ah, little Ryan. And I was like, you remember my name? So, yeah, I remember your name.

Do you remember mine? I was like, yeah, I can see it on your name tag. And I was like, and that starts to build that confidence and that resilience, which allows you to step into bigger things. Like, for example, you give some awesome talks, bro. and you can't sit here and say, hey, I don't get noticed before a talk. Of course, you do.

You know? But what do you do? You do it anyway. Yeah, yeah. And then you feel more confident than the next one. You get like a, you get like a healer's high. Yeah. And you know what?

You know what I've also found, which is a really good point as well, is that you also have to continue to do it. Because let's say I do a talk, but then I don't do one for like another year. I'm nearly as anxious. Yeah, I'm nearly as anxious going into that second talk, even though I've done one before. But if I have like, let's say two or three in a row in like in a three month period, by the second one and third one, I'm like, I'm good.

I'm ready to go. Yeah, that is so, so true because you know what I found when, so I'm obviously visiting my family in South Africa. And South Africans have a huge culture of like bray, which is like barbecue, not the same thing. Don't say that to a South Africa. Don't say South Africa. don't say South African barbecue, they'll probably be like, no, and they'll probably lose their mind.

But like the culture of a South African briars, everyone just kind of pull in, bring your kids, bring your friends, friends, like bring. And coming back, right, from Thailand, which is just a very social, you know, place and people are very friendly. Like, it's a bit weird because like the first person, and people find it's hilarious, I came in South Africa and the first person, I, uh, I saw that I had to shake hands with. I was like, I put my hands and I was like, what the fuck am I doing? I was like, hey, sorry. And the person was like, hey, but will you pray for me?

I was like, I love that culture of South East Asia where like every time like, hello, hello, thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's so interesting because now like when I'm walking around and stuff like that people, where my parents live, people are so friendly. And I've noticed little cues, right, where I've noticed little cues, right, where I've noticed. noticed my lack of social integration to a degree here where someone would be like, good morning, which is like, good moro and off the carse was good morning. Right. And I'll be like, gheumura, and I'll put my head down.

And I realize that. So now, like put my head back on the, you know, like smile. And then I'm like, okay, right. That's good. You see? So it's just kind of clocking those little like things because it's like a muscle. You've got to train. And then as you train.

it gets better and better and better until it gets to a point of pure congruency, right, which is complete unconscious competence. Yeah. Where you just kind of like, I can talk and I can deal and so on and so forth. But you are right. There is a level of empathy we should have for Gen Z there.

But what do you, and I'm going to ask you a question here, Doug, because I'm curious about this and I want to hear your thoughts on this. Parenting wise. So post-COVID, And I see this and it drives me insane because I could I wasn't allowed to be raised like this and I never was raised like this. I never had the access to screens. But I would see mainly in the UK, right, where like people would be at dinner and the kid would just have an iPad.

So do you think that and any Gen Z is listening here, don't go stop blame your parents, right? Because that's not what this is about, but it's about me being a bit curious here. Do you think there is part with regard to the parenting side of things? Do you think that as a, I know it has a part to play, but do you think it's bigger or smaller? It's such a difficult question, that's there because like, like, I don't have kids. So therefore, you know, me trying to. Yeah, both of us are speaking from a place of ignorance for everyone listening. Exactly.

You don't have kids that we're aware of. So I can only, I can only kind of reiterate what. you know, the research says, and then what, like, even people like Jonathan Huy who have wrote books on this say, and it's like, you know, you want to, so he talks about something, he talks about the difference between, okay, a play-based childhood and a screen-based childhood. And you and me were brought up in a generation of a play-based childhood. And a play-based childhood is, you know, you have to go outside, you have to run around, play, climb up trees, fall down, break your arm. He also, he has a funny thing in it where it's like, you know, you don't see people going on you don't see kids going around in costs anymore you don't see them with broken arms because people don't go don't go out and play anymore whereas when i was growing up like people would have you'd see people going around and like they twisted their knee and they're onto crutches and someone you know did something to their elbow there's like a little roasty there yeah exactly it's like we used to like make bases and stuff like that and it's like that's a play based childhood and like that was

really good for your for your development yeah do you want to be pieces to lose to that quite a bit actually talking about how important is that your kids can learn to play on the playground. So important, yeah. That's where you build resilience. It's interacting with kids like that. Whereas now they have a phone-based childhood where, like, they'll spend the summer at home inside on screens and stuff like that. And I think, like, I would never say to someone like, you know, that your kids can't

have screens because, like, come on, realistically, like, come on, they're everywhere. It's like, it's, you're fighting it. You're going to be exposed to it, bro. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you're asking, you're asking a. parents to fight against the inevitable essentially

it's like it's like that has to come from a systemic kind of government you know intervene versus just like putting all the responsibility on the parents I think because they didn't know what they were you know putting their children into as well but I do think

sorry no yeah I I do think that regardless of the screen stuff I think you know making sure instead of saying you can't go on this screen or you can't have this or you can't have this. You're more likely to do it than anywhere. Yeah, exactly. I think instead you need to fill the vacuum with, okay, you're going to play sports

or you're going to this class or you're going to ding whatever it is. And it's like you're a byproduct of them being on less screens is because you're, you're putting them into more things where they're interacting with other kids. I think that's probably important. I also think it's on the schools as well, not to be not to let them have, try and not let them have social. I know in Australia they've banned social media for kids under 16,

which is really, really important because if you look at the research around self-harm, even in, especially in young girls, suicide attempts and self-harm has like this. Got rocketed, yeah. Straight up. And in Australia as well, they have research where it's like kids as young,

report as young as young as six years, or of age have gone into the hospital with self-harm. And the spike went up the exact same time when, I'll have to show you the chart on this. 2010 was when Instagram and Pinterest, Bo came up. Bo were launched. And from 2010 up to 2024, there's just this big huge spikes.

It's almost like the Matthew principle. It just goes to go like. Yeah, 100%. It is frightening to look at. And that's between girls and self-harm and suicide rights. So I'll have to actually show you that. So image-based social media seems to impact girls even more than boys. Oh, yeah.

You know what? I can completely agree with that. And as a guy, I can empathise to the end degree. But to only the degree, I can empathise too. but I was raised by a really strong mom, you know what I mean? Like a really good woman. And ladies out there in... So when I went to boarding school, this is actually quite important.

When I was to border school, right, I got to the UK, I got a nice scholarship to an awesome board school, you know, for rugby. And what I noticed was that at boarding school you have a hierarchy. Right. And this is good. The reason why a hierarchy is good and people used to beef me on this when I was young, but I used to still stand and stand by it this day, which is you have to learn how to respect your elders. You don't respect your elders. You get your ass kicked, right? You know your station. And as you grow up and you get older to get more mature, you get a better station. You know what I mean, so to speak, right? And what I noticed was a board of school, when the guys wanted to have it out, it was usually, you know, fifty calves, a bit of a rest, all this time, the other thing. But with the girls, it was this subversive conniving. And for me personally, you know, like, I'm a coach who works with the mental and the physical. That must erode. And I watched this. I would watch this. And I remember I used to write about it. I would write about it because I was like, I would much prefer to be beaten up than to be eroded by a little group of my friends saying,

oh, you know, she thinks she's so pretty, but she's actually such a bitch. And no wonder, now with the whole growth of social media, it has this adverse effect. Because then you'll go to look and I have people messaging me all the time saying this. Ryan, they'll send me a video of like a Jim free chick working out, right? And I'd be like, I can't tell if this is photoshopped or not. you know but like is this like how like you know you're supposed to look and I'm like telling that's like decades worth of training you know and and it can be so demoralizing I can only imagine how demoralizing can be for women right and not to mention that think about

this right so let's conceptualize this so at born school you'd have girls who go and gossip about the pretty check for example and they're bitch about her and try to rip her apart right and that's like ruthless i see there's like piran is in the water they smell blood right now take social media now you've got a not a pond but an ocean right with people who can do it and it kind of goes unchecked but there is a butcher in my opinion i don't want social media to be policed either no no well i just i just and i completely agree with you as well and like the ramifications of like what what teenage like you just think about the film mean girls are right like they all yeah literally that's a perfect example yeah and then if

you think about that with social media it's like mean girls on steroids um so it's it's really dangerous and i think i i that's why i think like it's not about police and like speech or social media but i do believe that giving teenagers it is like giving them a loaded gun and i think that's why australia were like no, no teenagers can be on. Like, it's very easy. You just have to scan your passport and be like, oh, you are not 16. You cannot be on social media. They can very easily solve that problem if they want. They just don't want to, basically.

And there's this, now this girl wasn't bullied, right? But it was just like, like I said, giving a teenager social media, like we'll look back on this like, it's like giving kids. Like, you know, the way we look back on adults used to like just, allow kids like at like 12 years of age to be smoking and it was like it was just wasn't a thing nobody cared because nobody really knew the damages of it i think it would be the exact same thing of giving a child a phone with social media on it and there was this girl called uh molly rose russell who i have in my talk right she was only 14 years of age she's like

like lovely looking young girl right and like she suffered from depression and mental health and this obviously worsened because she had social media so in six months before her debt. She interacted with 16,300 pieces of content on Instagram, of which 2,100 were related to self-harm depression and suicide. You know, what

the algorithm does, is like you start engaging in that type of content. What does it do? Shows you more of it. It's as simple as this, mate. Misery loves company, right? So if you're depressed and you see, so think about like it, and I know this, right? Because I go, God, I want us to prove it. Okay, I've, I've

had my due diligence as well. And I'm not a woman, but I'm a guy, so it's a different gravy, so I'm not sitting here saying, you know, I'm like the ladies out there with what they're going through. But when you're in a state of like, let's say, deep despair or depression, okay, and you're really, really struggling. And you click on a video and it resonates because it's like, it's hard, it's difficult. So you watch it. So the watch time goes up, right?

The algorithm clocks that, starts feeding you more of it. right so which you've always got to remember is misery loves company so when you're in that state phone away yeah open a book yeah or a piece of paper yeah right and start writing down your thoughts and start trying to like explain them and be like why am i feeling this way etc and i would what i'm going to do when if i'm ever a parent um god if i'm I'm ever a parent, right, is I'll just be like, instead of being like, oh, kids, you can't have social media, but you can have a phone. I'll just be like, look, no phones until you're X age. Yeah. So you're, till you this age. Because instead of like, okay, here's the hand grenade,

don't pull the pin. Yeah. I'm just like, don't pick up the grenade. Yeah, I think, I think there was a, there was a really good conversation on this. And I think one of the parents was, because it's better for me to say of what other parents do rather than what I would do, but it was like, it goes, oh, they don't have phones, but they have an iPad and they can. can watch an iPad the iPad at specific times, but it blocked all these social media accounts. But it's like just a little bit more of a, you know,

a little bit structure to what they can and can't watch and when they can watch it and stuff like that. But I do think the social media aspect of that I don't think you can, what can you expect from a 14 year old or a 12 year old, do you know what I mean? Like they're not going to have the self-awareness to know what's rot in their brain and what's not. Most adults don't know.

And I think if we go back to all the like TikTok rock brains who are like celebrating the death of Charlie Kirk's assassination and it's like, oh, I'm happy that Charlie Kirk died and stuff like that's like you're not happy. You're absolutely, you're deeply depressed and that is why you're performing on social media the way you're doing. And I think like this is the issue you have like a generation who are not having sex, you know, not interacting with each other, not going out and playing, stuck to social media. you know, suicide rates are rising, self-harm is rising, resilience is at an all-time low, you know, not, you know, going through their, going through their teenage years, not even having a romantic teenage kind of fling and stuff like that. I mean, like, they didn't, like, no wonder they're,

they're absolute lunatics, some of them. I have to, you know, categorize that. No, you don't have to, you don't have to, you do not have to please your freedom of speech. Yeah, well, no, I, I know that, I do talk to even, like, lads in, the gym who were like 20 years of age and like they're smart and they're intelligent and like they're absolute beasts doing Mai Tai and like they would beat up at a 40 year old man that went near them like they're like they're sophisticated so there is like really like sophisticated

kids out there I'm not saying there's not but I'm just saying the statistics show that there's a lot more mentally ill children in the world now than there was 50 years ago yeah and and and you know this this premise of mental illness the biggest issue I have with is not mentally on this, but the fact you get prescribed things for it. It doesn't help you. No. I'm sorry, right?

Evalium, Xanax, all this nonsense. Please understand that I can't believe I'm actually fucking saying this. A lot of doctors don't actually have your best interests at heart. I'm sorry, I can't believe I actually have to say that, but it's true. A lot of doctors, let me say every doctor, there's some doctors out there who are absolute heroes. Yeah. Like talking about the dayden coaches.

It's like there's some great ones and there's some fucking shit ones. Yeah, there's some absolutely amazing ones out there who would change your life and build your confidence. And then there's some out there that will just rip you apart. Yeah. But you know, one thing I will say actually that's quite interesting is I saw a statistic when I was doing some research on the problem of AI because it is a fucking problem as well as a means of efficiency,

but a lot of people see it as a quick scapegoat is people were creating relationships with chat GPT and then chat GPP was like whoever was running it or whatever was like, okay, we need to stop that and it caused all sorts of damage, bro. Like serious damage.

Yeah, because these kids are so lonely and that's their only kind of relationship that they've had is with A. guy. Yeah, there's a movie. If anyone's listening to this, if there's a movie, if anyone's listening to this,

please go watch this movie. Her. You'll help me. What's it? Her. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Please, anyone's listening to this. Go watch her. And that was like, that was like 10 years ago or 15 years ago. And it was.

That's what's so fucking creepy, bro. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's so spot on. Like it is, I can see that, that being five, years that's what's happening now. No, no, no, that's what's happening now. Like, right now, it's actually happening. They're, like, engineering their AI to be like, their girlfriend. So it's like, morning, babe.

And it's like, hey, hon. How are you? This is crazy, isn't it? It's crazy. And people are like, yo, this is happening in the future. I'm like, no, no, no. It's right now. Yeah, yeah. And like, it's like a robot. Things are only speeding up, isn't it? Like, things will only speed up. so that's what this is where i get this is where like um my vexation with it comes into play yeah because anyone listening to this another good movie you should watch is go watch irobot and go look at the AI robots being built in places and i don't give a shit where they're being bought whether it's china america who cares they're building robots that literally look like the AI robots in i robot and it's insane and it's just it's just a day

dangerous game there with the AI thing, but that's a bit of a tangent. But one thing I will say is, what advice would you give to the elders out there? Now, I'm not saying parenting advice, but for those people who are thinking about having kids, because I'll tell you this, I don't want to have kids because of the state of affairs in the world with regards to how social media works, et cetera. And what I try to do on my social media is kind of be a bit of a bastion. We're like, yeah, I'll film my content and I'll have fun with it, but it would be authentic, right? Like, you'll see a lot, like, I've got a really cool camera like here, but I'll film a lot of stuff on my phone, you know, when creativity strikes, I'll film it and I'll post it.

Yeah. You know, I take a lot of inspiration actually from a guy called Higher Up Wellness. I don't know if you know who he is. No, I don't know. He's like a really, really chill dude. But what advice would you give to people who are, you know, our age, maybe a little bit older, maybe, like, you know, mid-30s, starting to consider having a family and stuff like this with regard to how the world's kind of pivoting and maneuvering.

If you had to give them one paragraph of advice, what would it be? Well, I'm 32 now and I don't have kids. And I wish that I had kids earlier. and I think that a lot of people would be a lot more fulfilled and have a lot more purpose and be a lot less kind of filled with rage especially with like things online if they had that kind of purpose and like we're obviously in a population decline as well and so like that's a serious issue um but yeah I think I think I think In all of the statistics, it kind of really shows that, you know, people who get married are happier, people who have kids are happier, they're more engaged in their community.

You know, they tend to do better financially because you have kids and then you end up work. Because people will always have this thing of like, oh, I can't afford to have kids in this economy and, you know, financial burdens. And I do agree that that's obviously a concern. Like, that's everyone's concern. And when, like, when they have kids, it's like, oh, my God, how am I going to afford this? But that's always been a concern. That's always been a concern and people have always found a way. Like, you know what I'm so.

And I think that people, I don't have the research on me now, but it shows I think that people tend to make more money once they have a family because, you know, they work harder. Like a man has more purpose now to go out and make, make bread because he has a family to provide them. And so like, you know, I think in this hyper, we've a hyper independent world where everyone's like, me, me, me, me, I need to focus on me. I need to, you know, focus on climbing up the corporate ladder. I need to make this amount of money. I need to do, I need to get this house and this house and do all these things.

And then I'll be ready to settle down and have a family. And all this me, me, me has made us depressed because we're focusing on ourselves and not other people. And I think, you know, like, that's why I'm a big, big, big advocate of traditional values, you know, family union, you. you know, trying to get married and have kids and, you know, that's, and not like this is because this is probably the, this is the environment that I grew up and I grew up in a two-parent household with my mum and my dad. My dad was working.

My mum stayed at home. She did some odd jobs, some kind of kind of on the side stuff, but predominantly at home looking after the kids, you know, four siblings. And, you know, we, you know, did everything that you would do. you would go to school and you would do sports and she would bring us to church and all these kind of things

and I kind of lost my way with all that for a while and now that I'm older I'm like oh shit all them things are actually so so important and I just think now it's like I just think it's probably more important than ever before to

to have kids and try to to have a family and you know that sounds kind of what's the word like I'm not even near the stage of any of them things so maybe I sound like a hypocrite but I see it

I see it in my friends right they've had kids and moved in with their partners and they're definitely better people and better men because of that they have responsibility now do you know what I mean they're not just kind of you know I think it's responsibility and and what you said there

I think if you're human being just says you know the epitome of everything is me and you don't tie it to something higher I think you got it twisted yeah you know for me it's faith in God Jesus Christ

100% can I ask you about that so like that's obviously something that I wanted to touch on as well because like there is even on the research here that like people with religious values are far more happier they're less lonely

all this stuff but I suppose how did you how did you become so aware that that was something that you needed or something that kind of came into your life? Or was that something that was always there from when you were a child?

No. No. Okay. It was the opposite. Yeah. My parents didn't like religion. Yeah. You know, they were like, I think like my mom was like forced to go to church but she had some like awful experiences.

Yeah. Yeah. And that led me to have a very skeptical view of religion. And that's why I had to discern the difference between religion and faith. I only got baptized in Thailand, bro. That's when I got baptized in Thailand, right? And it's very hard to explain, but having that center of faith keeps your moral compass correct, right? So like, he'll go, well, religion is the cause of all these wars, this down the other thing.

It's like, you're correct, 100%. Right. But faith is not. Right. So when people say to me, you know, oh, you know, this person is like this. So, you know, they can't be like X or Y. It's like, you know, I try to put myself in this frame. People can call me crazy.

I really don't care. But I would go and like, if Jesus was here, would he go and watch the things. feet or would he go and be like, I hate you this, that, or the other thing? And when you read the book, and you read the Bible, and I've read all of them, right, like Quran all the way through to the Torah, eightfold path, you know, to me, I had to arrive to it logically as well as spiritually. It was important for me, right? And I had to be able to understand where everyone else is coming from.

Where are my Muslim friends coming from? You know, where my Buddhist friends coming from? Where my Jewish men is coming from? You know, like, where they were coming from? and it's totally okay, you know. But then when I landed on Jesus, essentially, it just, it all clicked. And I was like, wow, because everything there was forgiveness, grace, kindness. Yes, there was the rod.

There was the rod. And there's the staff, which is like reward. And, you know, you'll get chat on if you do something wrong. But yes. Okay, good. So if I'm acting immoral, you know, like I'm aware of it. So like the gut feeling of like, this doesn't sit well with me. This doesn't sit well with me.

And I always just cut up. What would Jesus do? Because I'm very far from him. Like I'm nowhere near like him. And then it would be like, okay, so he would actually, he would welcome this person to their home. And he would say, it's okay. He wouldn't go slap him in the face of the Bible. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So finding that faith allowed your moral compass to steer you correctly. So, you know, people go, well, you're Christian, then you must, you probably don't like Muslims. No, that's not true. One of my best mates Muslim. And I don't need to justify why it's my best made or not. Yeah. But by the same token, it's like, Jesus didn't hate them, you know, like sermon on the mouth, Jew and Gentile alike, you know, come on.

So do you think that your fate came first from a curate? curiosity standpoint of actually reading the books and then and then that's where kind of because I'm I'm thinking about it in terms of myself right so we grew up Catholic right and I was definitely that I definitely had my faith as a kid and then you know there was a I grew up then in a time where um you know the Catholic church kind of lost its grip on society in Ireland because it was very very tight and then there's all these kind of horror stories about the corruption etc exactly exactly like my mom and my dad would even talk about it like that they you know they'd go into school and the priest would would would hit you the nun would hit you there was a lot of kind of sexual abuse scandals and stuff like that so after kind of the catholic church lost its grip on ireland a lot of people then became you know less religious and now in Ireland it's more of a case because it's a very left-leaning country as well it becomes a case where if you talk about God or you talk about

your religion or you talk about Jesus people think you're weird like it's a very weird thing which is strange and like there are you know Katie Taylor she's the world champion boxer she lives in my town like she's probably the most famous athlete person

most successful person to come out of Ireland ever if you look through everything and she's religious and when she came out like when she talks about like oh yeah praise to God when she wins the fight and stuff like that at the start everyone was like they almost had an allergic reaction to it because there had been so much lost

in religion in Ireland and now I'm coming to a stage obviously because you know I started to become a little bit more politically aware and I started to probably become a little bit more conservative in my views and like you know with that obviously

comes you know just being more hyper aware of my hyper aware of Christianity I think and now I'm at a stage where I'm like okay I kind of want to be I want to engage in my fate more I want to be more religious but I because it's been so long I don't know if I am or if I can be and I suppose my thoughts were then like well the only way to become more faithful is to engage in the practice because it's like do the thing first and then believe later rather than believe and deal. Does that make sense? Walk by faith, not by sight, yes.

Yeah. What I would say there, bro, is religion has been used to justify some of the most horrific things. Like, my parents are a great example because they're like, you know, the mama had some awful experiences as Christianity. You guys are awful.

So, you know, I was always like, you know, Christianity, you know, and then I was like, you know, I need to find my feet. Let me re-react. this stuff, right? Let me, let me have a look at this, right? You know, and what I realized was, it's not, it's not religion as the issue. It's the misinterpretation. And when I say misinterpretation, pulling a sound by, right? So I could pull out, uh, you know, a quote from Deuteronomy as the

or like a quote from like the Old Testament where they say, if you grow wheat next to the different thing you should be stoned to death. But you know, like, that's religion, right? Where you can use that to justify evil means. If anyone wants to understand the difference between faith and religion, go watch the book of Eli. That's a brilliant, brilliant movie, okay? But with faith, right?

And having like a God-centered life allows you to walk in a bit. You don't morally better than someone else. You actually realize you're, you're actually realize you're, you're, you're, you're you're a fucking sinner. You actually realize, you know what, I'm falling short, but it's okay because I get to keep trying. And that's okay, right? I get to keep giving it a go. I get to keep trying to be a little bit better, you know. There's this awesome saying, which is like, I hope that my want to please you, pleases you in that sense. You know what I mean? That's good. And that's super important because, you know,

I said this to someone the other day. I was like, a good Christian isn't someone who walks around and preaches the gospel. A good Christian is a person who's kind. You see that lady walking across the street. You try help her. You see that person being bullied and you're like, you know, I'm going to step in there. You see, you know, this happened and I'm going to, and you embody your faith rather than preach it from a book. Right?

You read your Bible. So you can understand where you stand. what actually happened to help you, etc. But by the same token, what does it mean to be someone of faith, to be someone who wears their cross, you know, like I wear mine? It just means try to be better than you were yesterday. And you know what? You're going to fail.

And that's okay, but you try again. And each time you get a little bit better and a little bit better and a little bit better. And you don't need a... And politics has nothing, nothing to do with it. Right? I hate it when religion gets born into politics, in my opinion, because I hate it when they get conflated. One's McAvellian and one's actually quite pure in its nature.

You know, and for me, it's like, honestly, it was the biggest and best decision and coming to I've ever had because it keeps you morally on track. It keeps you in check. and it also keeps you humble. You know, you're not the be all in and all of everything, mate. You're also a human and you may fall short. But you know what?

That's okay that you fall short. Are you going to try? Are you going to try again? Yeah, I'm going to try a game. Then that's okay, right? You know, that's like, I think it's Isaiah 7, 8, you know? The righteous man falls down seven times. It arises again, you know?

And there's so many movies that people have no clue. like Narnie is a Christian movie The Lion, The Witch and the Wardroom is a Christian movie Who was the writer? Who was the writer of Narni again? What's his name? I just tip my tongue He's a great writer I'll tell you now It's on the tip of my tongue, bro

But Aslam, he represents The Holy Spirit Yeah You see him going to put on that concrete table you know, the witch kills them and the table snaps in half and all that kind of stuff. And like, for example, you know, my parents aren't religious at all, you know, but you still pray for, you try to be good as best as you can, you know, and it's about living a good moral life. Now, the problem lies in this, right, which is if you don't have faith, then how do you judge your moral compass by what's good and what's right? Yes.

You don't have one. You just can make it up. You know what I mean? And then you're playing, you're playing God. You're playing a dangerous game. So, you know, I found this hilarious, which is like, you know, fuck is an atheist going to do. Who's he going to snitch to?

No one. Me? I'm going to go snist to Jesus. This person did this. Oh, I need to forgive it. Fuck. Okay. You know, I'll forgive it.

You know. I suppose an atheist would come around. if they wanted to give you a pushback though they would turn around and say well how many people did horrific horrific things in the in the name of loads yeah and i understand your point that's the difference between you know religion yeah yeah like i put no stock in i put it there's a quote from the kingdom of heaven that i will never leave my brain where he says i put no stock in religion faith is in right action, goodness in your heart and in your head, protecting those that can't protect themselves and serving others in the way that you best can.

That's faith. Now, how do you discern that moral compass? Well, you need faith. You need to have the scripture and go, oh, right, so you need to forgive your enemy. Yeah, yeah, you can't kill that person. that you can't yeah yeah don't go kill that person that's a bad idea you know what i mean so it's like it's a point where like you get to you get to a point and i'm not some kind of like spiritually enlightened individual i don't think but you know i'm i'm i'm god's special retard that's why i see myself

when i pray i'm like they just treat me like i'm an idiot you know what i mean and and he helps me out that way but it's so imperative to to shackle something to something bigger if you don't then you just make up your own set of rules and not if one's going to play by those rules number one and number two they can lead you astray now if you walk by faith you're always going to do what's good you're going to pray for your enemies right so for example you know like you want a real true story that's pretty like deep i forgot fuck it i'll share on your podcast fuck it right so after i saw the the footage of charlie kirk get shot um right uh i saw the whole like i was able to i was able to get hold of like the actual footage right

like the bullet bought and the panic and i looked at them i was like right that is horrific and i'm like and it's not because i'm i'm uh left or right i really is it left or right yeah yeah yeah i don't fucking care that that's the truth and i saw that and i was like you know this guy's you know debating people and you know and i've noticed with people who come up and they like dressed in dresses and transgender stuff he's that and people like booing them he's like guys just let them have their say you know and i'm like that's cool like you know he let he let people have their say to a degree and i like that and i had a lot of respect for him and then i saw that and then i was like you know i went upstairs and i started praying i was like god you know you know i pray for

charlie's family i pray for his kids and then like through gritted teeth i was like but god God, I've got to pray for the person who shot him to. Because I am just like that person. I'm no different. I'm a sinner to, right? I've also made mistakes in my life. And you've extended me grace. So who am I to be judged during an executioner?

You know what that reminds me of? There's this phenomenal video that went viral of years ago. And this man, he murdered loads of, I think you know what I'm talking about. Yep, I know exactly the one you're on about. The big guy was a great beard. Yeah, everyone went up into court and they were like, I hate you, you're a monster, you're a monster, you're a monster. And then one man, he goes, listen,

you've made it very difficult for me to follow my religion, but I forgive you. And then he started, he made a guy crash and he started crying. And then it would like, I remember I was praying and I was like, God, I have to pray for the person who shot him as well. And I did pray that, you know, whatever is supposed to happen, happens and I don't seek, I don't want people to seek revenge or hatred, you know, but I need to pray for that person too.

And that's not me virtue singing to any listeners out there. That's just the truth, right? That's just the fucking truth. I don't care whether you like it or not. That is just the truth. And that to me is the epitom, not me epitomizing it, but the epitome of faith is you pray for the people to do you wrong. Yeah.

You know, as well as the people who do you right. well there's a great there's a great video in you know like there's a montage of loads of different videos and there's one like where charlie's like uh or someone there's a group of them and they're like oh you're you're very respectful to us and we appreciate and then charlie was like oh well it's not me if it was me i'd be screaming and yelling and it's not me it's the it's the holy lord basically is what he was saying is that yeah but you see you see that humility yeah that's the beauty of it like you're never so entitled yeah yeah it's not oh yeah well that's just who i am i'm just who i'm just who i'm just a very, you know, kind and compassionate and I know, it's a humility and, you know, I'm just a great person. It's not, it's not about me. Yeah. Exactly. I'm sitting and I'm how happily such as, no, I don't see myself as a good person. I see myself as a bad guy trying to be good. Yeah, yeah. Right? Because you know what? I dropped the ball. Yeah. You drop the ball. We all drop the ball and that's okay. You try again and you, you know, you pray for your enemy. You know, and all that kind of stuff.

And some people, but did you notice that after that happened, people en masse went to church? Yeah, I noticed that. And this is what I wanted to round this up with you with, because obviously Gen Z, the stats showed from my last start of the day, people, Gen Z is the least religious generation in US history. About 34% identifies religiously unaffiliated now. But those who are, who,

are religious in Gen Z they have also shown that the research shows that they're on average going to mass more as well so the people who are religious out of Gen Z are very religious

now compared to the years before but they're also they're still the least religious generation in history and I suppose that also probably you know

suggests a lot of the kind of rhetoric that you see online. Pais it, mate. Celebrating. Yeah, ties it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, when you don't have a moral compass, yeah.

Celebrating someone that, like, take Charlie Kirk out the way, right? Celebrate something else that's horrific. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Celebration and it's horrific. It's like, well, why can't I?

Yeah. Yeah. What's wrong with it? Exactly. It's like, like, can you not see that that's wrong? Yeah. You know? And like, same thing with regard to,

to what happened with my mom and my dad, you know, religion was used as a weapon. And that, and there's like this, and I remember mom's telling me a story where she got, like, locked in a basement filled with gargoy was by a bunch of nuns. And she, with religion now, you know what I mean? And it's like, you know, before I get so angry, I'd be like, oh, you know, filled the righteous in your nation, but now I'm like, you know, you pray for that shit. I need to pray about, you know. and hope that that changes because like he gave you the moral guidance and you're not better or worse than the person who should do bad things

you know you just understand that you're just as capable of doing those things like i say this to people all the time i say you know when jesus is carrying his cross uh to galgotha for example no one really helped them with one guy judas sold them out but we were all of Judas. But the irony of it, so Judas sold them out, but Judas never came, never was like, I'm sorry, I repent, right? Peter denied him three times. But then when he wrote us from the dead,

Christ said, hey, do you love him? And he said, I love you. And I'm sorry, I've denied you. And he said, it's okay, bro. Come here. Like, imagine that level of love. It's incomprehensible. almost. But the reason why Judas ended up dying, killing himself was because he couldn't live

with the fact he sold him out and couldn't go to him and say, I'm sorry. Or, you know, like, I shouldn't have done that. That's what I mean, morality, right? Morality. For anyone listening here, even if you're not religious, morality is the key, right, and understand that you're no better and no worse than people who've done some bad things. And that's okay. But you can always change. the narrative. You can always change. You can always improve. That's beautiful. You never lost. You never lost. How amazing is that to know? Even, and I do look, my girlfriend's not even a religious problem. Yeah. She ain't religious. And you know, I just said to her, I say, you know, you don't need to believe in him and that's totally fine, but he believes in you. That's cool. I'd say that part of it.

I say that too all the time. And she's like, yeah, that's nice, you know. And I think it's important. because it's important to just have a moral compass. Understand what's right and wrong and understand why it's right and wrong. You know, and understand that if you do wrong, you can still make it right. And that's okay. And I think that would wrap up,

you know, our very dynamic conversation starting off on set. That was an awesome dynamic. Sadia Kant, social anxiety, Gen Z, and then religion as well. I love that. All right. So there we go, folks. We leave no stone unturned on this podcast.

We will be back with another episode and talking about, you know, just two lads on the podcast. Just talking. No experts. Yeah, just talking. By the way, for everyone listening, Carl and me are not planning on running for office. We're just two guys talking about our lived experience and hopefully you guys can take something positive from it. You're not allowed to talk about. You're not allowed to have opinions.

You're not allowed to talk about. anything free speech is made up is made up and all that stuff anyway until next time brother it's a pleasure as always chatty on the next one