The Uneducated PT Podcast - EPISODE 162 – She's in the way with Gráinne Gibson

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

EPISODE 162 – Gráinne GibsonThis week we’re joined by Gráinne — coach and researcher. We discuss her background in fitness coaching, her research in climate change, and how both disciplines shape the way she thinks about people, habits, and decision-making.The conversation also dives into:• First impressions & attraction• Red flags, green flags, and “the ick”• Humour and chemistry in relationships• Whether dating apps have helped or hurt modern dating• And advice for navigating dating in 2026A really interesting episode blending fitness, psychology, relationships, and modern social dynamics.If you enjoy the episode, make sure to subscribe, leave a rating, and share it with a friend.#Podcast #IrishPodcast #Fitness #Dating #Relationships #Psychology

Before we get into Grinian Gronia on dating dynamics, we need to find out off Rob his travel plans. Because Gronia, we are speaking to Rob, was it was the last week's podcast or the week before, Ger? About his, he, he, he, he, Rob's afraid of commitment, Gronia. All right. You know, I'm going to Florence on the machine now.

You're going as well. Yeah, Jared convinced me. It didn't take that much. All the limbercheds are going to be there now. I'm not as I'm referred so Robb's afraid of commitment not only romantically but also in terms of geography

and anything else and just commitment and work and just like committing to anything he feels like he's if he commits to one thing he's missing out on loads of other things which he's actually correct but then he ends up doing nothing at all

so Robert give us an update on your travel plans before we start travel plans what do you mean travel plans as a movement movement yes travel movement living location settling down

career girls so Bristol's not happening for a while because there's no actual work that I wanted to do up there that financially is going to support me living in the city I have

this is going to sound like a career chain but it's an pivot, but it's not. It actually would... Ron, you notice the signs, okay? Go ahead. It would actually support my coaching work longer term. So I've applied for an education mental health practitioner role through the NHS, which is basically working with kids in schools with like mental health stuff and personal development with that in the education system.

Don't use that lovely job to get out of the fact that to change is reminding. That's such a coach. That's such a coach. Oh, I'm going to go work with kids. Oh, I'm going to help the children. Oh, I've applied to help the children. We don't care about that. That's such a cope.

You said that you were going to get a job in a gym and become a PT and you are going to engage with the community and make a few friends. That's what he said, Grant. That's what he said. We have the recording. We actually have to record. The difference here, the only difference is the setting that it would be in. It would be in my pre-year.

professional background, working with psychology. Because, what's your confusion, Carl? Well, you can use psychology anywhere,

even on the gym floor, can you know? You can, but not, not in like a, as deeper way legally. You're not allowed to officially title yourself

as like a mental health practitioner or anything. Yeah, but you be qualified. You can't be arrested for using psychology. It's like, should have been.

What are you saying? What are you talking? So ultimately the work I want to do is working with students and young adults, with building confidence in just accessing life without relying upon others to support them. And this will be a really good way of having like getting a qualification, working with the NHS, working with schools, feeding the coaching work alongside it, working with kids with their mental health concerns and stuff. And Gronia's bored, so she's gone.

She's done with your bullshit. She's like, trying to get the trivia on the screen. I thought we talked. Grodia, Grodia spotted that a mile away. She was like, I'm done with this. I know. Fuck this.

Rob will be moving to Limerick by next week. So what are we saying then, Rob? So we're not going to go get a job in a gym anymore. Now we're doing another course in order. to do the thing that you were going to do anyway. Try that in a less accusational tone, if you can. Graña, what do you think? Not my life.

This is what we brought you on for because the lads all. I can't say shit. I can't say shit because I'm doing two different things. So I really like I can't. What are you doing? You're doing. What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? as I've coaching but then like my PhD is obviously very different so yeah but you're coaching and you're studying PhD

yeah but they're just like completely unrelated and you're ingrained in the community of Limerick and you love yeah I adore I just fully send what do you think about this do you think that

Rob's just procrastinating or do you think that this is a good do you know what it does sound like a great thing to do but I want to see him doing it in the next couple of weeks not having another plan soon enough you're going to come back this and you're going to move to Costa Rica after the holidays of a car

I've applied to the course as they start in September so I can't do it in the next couple of weeks but I can start in September it's like it's a pay role as well what are you what are you going to do for three months the coaching stuff like building that up gradually and tutoring as well

which is technically education coaching so yeah FYI Gronia we only invite people on to fix our problems not to actually talk to them about anything yeah so Gronia if you didn't know this is actually this is actually a men's dating

advice podcast masquerade and it's usually these two ripping me down and then getting the guest to try and help me out so you're gonna help you're the goal The goal today is that you're going to help

Jair and Rob solve all their problems, okay? All right. I think we should stop on Carl this time because we usually try and switch to that. I think we need a longer podcast to deal with care. Yeah, that's true. And I'm better at deflecting anyway. Anyway, the first question I have for Gronia,

most importantly, is why does Gronia hate Limerick? I don't hate it. I'm just not from here, so I have no, like, attachment to the place. I'm just here. Gronia, without thinking about the top five counties in Ireland. Goalway Corr, Kerry,

Gibrarie. That's another good county. Oh, Jesus. Come on, you have to be better than that. Oh, lads, where else is there? Duny Gaw is a good spot. I was going to say Duny Gull. I was going to say Donny Gull.

Do you want, no, Jare, I'll let you go next. I have to go Gullway in Cork. Went to college in Cork and Galway is just a great city I also spent a lot of time during college in Cork in Galway which wasn't a good thing

and Mayo the coast long Mayo is great I am going to Sligo and Duny Gould this weekend I'm going to Duny Gull for going to Bally Shannon for the Rory Gallagher Festival so I'd also say

Wicklow that's fucking time this is so he doesn't tear me down for the rest of the budget Well, it would you be, you'd be, what would be very incorrect if he didn't say Wicklow. I'm going to tell you what it is. I'm going to tell you what the top five counties is, okay?

So the top five counties is. The top five counties is Wicklow, Terry, Duny Gall, Claire, and it's Antrum, actually. Antrim. Now, West Claire is a good show. Yeah. Yeah. Why Antrim?

Um, it's, there's lots of seaside towns. that are hidden and people don't know about great for surfing, great for hiking, great for drinking. When was the last time you were in Antrim? About three years ago, I'd say. Okay, right. I've never been to Antrim, but I've heard good things. Exactly. And you'll go, now you'll go and you'll say, hmm, Carl was right again, you know?

You're just setting up your tour tour guide services. This is what it is. You're going to quit PT and. Go on a wheelchair. Will we get into like fitness and and feeling the prejudice there by the way I didn't get asked my favourite count as well yes of course okay right Rob I'm gonna let I'm gonna let you well Rob's visited a good few counties so he does he could I reckon I've probably only visited up to five there's been Donegal Limerick Dublin Wicklow that's probably it isn't it yeah well some solid counties there I mean in Dany Gall and Wicklow and limberlin Of course. It's driven through. I haven't been to Wicklow enough to kind of say it's the best.

It's very good. Wicklow has everything because it has all the best walks and hikes. It has the Wicklow Mountains. It is called the Garden of Ireland for a reason. But it also has seaside. It also has loads of nightlife. It also is very close to Dublin. It doesn't add for Tourism Ireland right now.

We're not sponsored, we swear. Well, I'm just saying. I could. I could argue against anyone that Wiclow is probably the best county in the country. It's the Martello in Wicklow. The Martello's in Wicklow. Yes, Rob. There we go.

So Rob knows. Rob knows Bob. The Martello. Okay. Right. Rob's favourite. Yeah, he's right. He is right.

He is right. Okay. All right. Well, we'll move on from that. We'll get onto a little bit of fitness and then we'll ask Gronia to solve the lads problems. For the listeners who don't know who you are, who are you, what do you do? Where are you from?

Why are you here? Why am I here? I can't. She's asking herself that question right now and hangs up in real time. Okay, what's my elevator pitch? Okay, well, I'm an online. Yeah, I'm an online coach for women, lifestyle based, that crack. I suppose I'm technically an economist, allegedly apparently, as well.

I'm from to Berwick, but I live in Newark. We've established this. And why am I here? I really don't know why I'm here to be quite honest. I ask her the same question. Like, are you sure? Why, why, why coaching? If you're studying for, you're studying economics.

How did that happen? I started coaching. I got qualified in 2019. and I lived in Dublin and I started coaching in like six years ago now so it was like the peak of lockdown the first lockdown

and so obviously there was no gym so I couldn't start there so I just went straight into online and just kept going. Where in Dublin were you living? I was out in Fairview so I did the I did the part time

in PET course so every Monday Wednesday and Saturday out in Tella for us soon. How did you find going straight from the qualification to online coaching? I know you don't have a comparison, but... Well, I was still in my undergrad at the time, so I was only up in Dublin because I was on an internship placement. So I was doing that alongside the full-time job. And then when I went back to Limerick, I was in my final year of college,

so I did nothing. the qualification purely out of interest. I purely did it just because I wanted to and I could and I was up in Dublin to do it. So I kind of said, feck it, I'll do it. I never had the intention of being a PT or a coach. And then when I finished my exams, yeah, I just started. I can't even remember how or why it just started and then went from there. Do you think you'll be a PT after your studies? I don't know. I've thought I'd have the answer to that when I finished my master's. I did not. I thought I'd have the answer to that when I got two years teaching experience. I did not. My brain doesn't want to give up either. We have another rob on our hands. Yeah. See, that's why I said I can't, I can't judge him because I have two things that when I think of giving up the other, I don't like it because when I think about not coaching, I do miss the elements of. it. Then when I think about giving up,

like research and all of that crack, I kind of miss that because it's stimulating and it's a nice break from coaching or just the fitness item general sometimes. Are you saying that counting up the 12 isn't stimulating? Do you know, it has its limits to know. That also means you know how to count a 12 all the time. Do you think that by, let's say, doing your studies, how long have you been studying for?

I started my undergrad 10 years ago in September Wow So do you think that then it would be A little bit of a waste to do all that Work in college And then just continue to do What you're doing in terms of a job

Or do you think that You know, you can still take what you've learned And apply it to your life I think it'll ever be a waste Like I don't I don't agree at all When especially like fitness go to some mentors, go down the whole

college is useless and a pyramid scheme and all that shite. I really hate that argument just because they dropped out or didn't like it. There's so much more to study than the actual studies. I mean, obviously it's not like

I'm using economics and I'm doing my check-ins. Like, it's not, I'm not necessarily using it, but I don't know. like will it be use if I was to do coaching look there's elements of study especially the PhD that carry over just you learn a lot in life in general and it's probably one of the most mentally challenging things you'll ever go through in your life and I'll die on that hill um so that carries over you develop some level of resilience anyways but there are two very different things you know like there's

definitely crossovers but they're they're very very very different obviously maybe if the PhD was in something fitness related there would be much closer crossover and it would make more sense but they're just polar opposites what's your what's your PhD on this is where you're now going to see like a massive decline in viewership or download don't worry we don't have a lot anyways that's okay this is this is purely our project anyway so it's basically um related to economics of innovation and climate change. So I'm kind of effectively looking at how climate change impacts firms in Ireland, so businesses in Ireland, how they respond. And then also things like the twin transition,

which is digitalisation and the green transition, how that impacts firms. And then also how government and their supports can help firms to navigate the likes of climate change. so kind of policymaking as well is intertwined in there what's your opinion on the policymaking of the government and the let's say the pushback on the rise of prices for everyday workers especially let's say farmers right

I now I enjoy listening reading to politics etc but I'm not a politician um look I don't I think when it comes to economists as well like something that you learn or when you study and I learned in the master's is like nothing is just really ever black and white there's so much more nuance so

you know we have to be in a position where you're able to look at both sides and understand what's actually going on. So, you know, people were dead right to obviously, like, protest and stand up and kind of say we can't do this anymore, like, where we're really struggling. But at the same time, the rise in prices isn't being driven by the government. Like, they are not behind the rising prices. And equally, I don't think people fully understand in Ireland that the government cannot just create more money tomorrow. It is not what in their remit to do. that is up to the European Central Bank

so the only thing the government in Ireland can do is either change their spending or change taxes. That's all that they can do. They can't print money. Some people say you need to give more money out or complain about the 10 cent drop in petrol and diesel. I don't think people fully understand

that that makes up millions and millions of euro. That millions of euro means that when the next budget comes around and there's no giveaways for people in the budget and everybody gets pissed. People don't realize, hey, there's no more giveaways because you wanted that drop in petrol and diesel there a few months ago

and there's only so much money we can give out on a yearly basis. You can't just keep spending money because that actually will drive inflation more. And that's what effectively can lead to a boom and a bus cycle is the more you spend, the more you overheat the economy. and then effectively you have to raise taxes or you have to cut spending and that comes from health, education, etc.

So it is just a case of people are right to obviously have backlash, etc. But if you give more money to people in some way, it has to come from somewhere else. Well, instead of giving more money to people would reducing taxes on grain initiatives in the now not benefit them in terms of the income,

the money that comes into their pocket by the end of the month? So, yeah, like, I think the environmental in the green is, it's really challenging, right? Because the environment is something where it comes in and out of fashion. Yeah. So even with my PhD, like, when I was getting funding, having an environmental angle on my research was strategically a very good move because research is needed in that area. So that meant getting funding was probably easier. than having a project that had nothing related to the climate.

So I was lucky in that case. But obviously, it's one of those things where if people are struggling with the cost of living, they're not going to give a shit about climate change and its effects because that's not directly affecting them if they can't buy food for their house, which is, again, really fair. But then people don't take account of there is long run impacts of this. So if you are experiencing, like the weather we've experienced, that's going to impact farmers.

That's going to impact produce down the line. So at the same time, yeah, you could cut taxes, like the carbon tax, etc. And that would save people money. But then we still have this climate crisis. And even if we're all dead by the time, you know, real big effects, actually no, real big effects are being seen.

Like, it's not normal for the likes of Galway and Cork and villages to be flooding. Like that's not normal. That's not okay. It's not normal that we had 30.5. degrees recorded in the country and may like that's not normal like it's not actually okay so the the government do have um it's a it's like a future Ireland fund and a climate restoration fund so they're basically putting money into those funds kind of like a savings or a rainy day account yeah so they can

actually cope with the likes of climate change and all of this so like again do i agree that you you should cut those taxes. I don't know because it is a hard one where I can understand why they're there and why they're needed. Like Ireland are,

we're behind when it comes to the targets that we have. So bigger picture, we have to reach certain targets set by the EU by a certain time.

If we do not, Ireland are going to owe, could up to anywhere estimated from like 8 to 26 billion euro. That's not,

not a small amount of money. And that's going to, and that will be, we have to pay that money. That could come out of having to raise taxes again or cut spending. That's going to lead people to be pissed that the government aren't spending money on certain areas, infrastructure, etc. But that's because we're not fighting climate change at the rate we need to. Yeah. And things have improved to some degree.

But it's just, people are free to have their arguments, but they don't go beyond their initial fighting point of well why would we pay carbon tax like if we reduce that I'll have more money to spend yes you will but what happens in a year down the line when we face those fines or five years down the line when we're so far

behind on these targets you actually are feeling the effects in your food because you didn't want to pay that tax so it's not that easy it's not that black and white no we could we could look at reducing the money we give out for foreign aid I know it's not a like per capita we do give out some of the highest out of all the countries in the EU.

So like we could reduce that money that goes out. Yeah, I feel like Ireland are going to be in a very, in July, is it July we're hosting the presidency of the European Council. So I think Ireland are already on, not bad terms with the EU, but still on a bit like touchy terms, especially with the Mercosur agreement and all that crack that was happening. Yeah.

And Ireland's saying no. So I think in a way we're going to be pleading. We're the best people don't hate us. I think there's like a moral, I don't know with foreign aid and stuff, Ireland feel this moral obligation to obviously. It's famine guilt. It's the amount of immigration we've had and everyone living abroad that we feel like if something happens to us again,

we'll build up some good deeds. But then it's also people argue for that as well. you know, obviously it's still important, but when there was that maybe two or three week period where everybody was shouting and sharing about Gaza and they're needing to be more support, everybody was calling on the government to obviously support people in Gaza and send aid.

But then there's the whole other side where people will say, oh, you're giving money to all these foreign people look after your own. Which one is it? Do you want to give them help or not? You can't just change your stance every other day depending on how you wake up and feel.

What would your argument be to people who say, okay, well, Ireland and the UK, even between them, in terms of the percentage that we impact climate change compared to, let's say, China, who aren't going to have the same policies as the European Union wants us to have. So it really doesn't make a difference in that effect. what would your pushback be to that?

As in their big omitia, because China are actually, they have a lot of net zero policies. They're actually doing a lot when it comes to developing clean tech and policies. There's a lot of research and evidence done in China for what they're doing

in terms of net zero goals and climate targets and all that. So there's actually kind of probably a rise in competition from China, in that sense, that they will outpace the likes of the EU in terms of technologies that will support climate change, that will support the environment, etc. If anything, that probably acts as more of a

motivator or for the EU to push towards sustainability and they do. Like it's a whole EU have, what's called an industrial strategy that basically has like sustainability at the core. And they talk about, out of from, obviously, Ireland being part of the EU is it's a whole EU-wide project. Yeah. And we have to, like we, if Ireland want to use certain European funds, for example,

they have to show that a percentage of those funds are going to the likes of decarbonisation or digitalisation. So you don't get money from the EU for nothing. You have to show what it's being used for and the progress that you're making. otherwise they'll give you the money. Okay, that makes sense. So do you think that, you know, net zero targets will ultimately come down to, you know,

initiatives like, you know, the digitalisation, like you said, and things like even, you know, like, you know the way China would be kind of ahead on tech more so than most countries? Do you think it's them kind of initiatives that are going to reduce carbon emissions more so than, taxing on things like, you know, people's feel?

So there's kind of an argument for both. So there's the argument for you need the likes of, so you need the kind of, let's say the carrot. So you need to give businesses and firms financial support, let's say. So that could be like R&D grants, R&D tax credits so that you can go do this type of research and development innovation. Yeah. And you actually develop these technologies that you otherwise would not do. So that's kind of part of what I research. But then the other side of it is you need like the stick. So you need

to use the likes of taxes, carbon taxes to actually boot firms into action because again, there is this sense of like sustainability kind of comes in and out of fashion. Like firms care about it. Then they don't really. Then they care about it when they think all eyes are on. them. Then obviously you can look like you care and like you're doing something for the environment, but you're really actually not. You're just plastering a sustainability label on your business, even though you're not at all, which is real. It's like it's called greenwashing. So yeah, you need both. You need the kind of incentive through like financial help, but you also can use the likes of a taxes needed to. So it's not one or the other. Often it's both. And it can matter

what way they're implemented. So getting, let's say, a grant followed by a tax can actually be better than just doing one on its own. I can see why it's hard to get the crossover between that type of work

and helping people with their nutrition and trained. What do you mean? Did that not all relate to a calorie deficit? I'm trying to rack in my brain how that could cross over but I'm finding it quite difficult.

If anyone else has any suggestions, Yeah, they don't cross over at all, at all, you know, could have done health economics, did not, landed here. I mean, you could also say, like, the type of personalities that I like to follow online from the fitness industry don't necessarily, it's not necessarily even about, like, yes, they have fitness as their career and, you know, but they also have like something unique about them that's the reason that you follow them or you remember them kind of thing. of even if it's irrelevant to fitness. Well, I've been an educational mental health practitioner. No, we're not talking about it. I was more like, I was more thinking like being in a band or something like that. Yeah.

But, you know, that's, that sounds good as well, Rob, to be fair. He's going to come back next week and say he's starting a bend. Anyway, Gronia, let's move on to Dayton Dynamics and you helping Rob and Jair with their lives. So what's the biggest mistake that Jair and Rob are making when going on a first date, do you think? Not getting them as the first. I feel very unqualified to give opinions here. Ron, you're the only female on the podcast. You're the most qualified.

Do you think that Rob needs to commit to something? In terms of job. In terms of Adi Tick. This is why myself and Carol have matching tattoos. and Rob doesn't. Do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you think. The show answer is yes. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to

create the scenario for you. Okay, right? You're on a date. You're on a date. And, you know, you're on a date. And, you know, you're trying to impress you. You're trying to impress you. You're trying to impress them.

And then, um, throughout the conversation, you realize that this person, uh, hasn't really committed to say anything, but they're, you know, they, they, they have lots of lots of of ideas to do different things. Would you find that attractive or would you be like, this person seems to have commitment issues? See now I'm like, that could be me. Do I have?

Someone on my side. To be fair, I never actually open that I'm a coach. So I probably don't. I stick with the research. Why is that widely not say to your coach? I don't know. I just kind of got Do you identify more

as a researcher or a coach? I thought it was probably easier to get across. I also just didn't know what the perception of like coaching would be so maybe it's different for a guy,

but I thought maybe a girl saying it would give just this idea of oh, she's just this one on Instagram and that type of thing and it would be like that type of all right, okay,

it doesn't have a reason. That's interesting. Why do you, why is that your perception? I don't know. I know you're going to say that, but I also then get really about saying the PhD thing because I've actually had this conversation with other female PhD students and they've actually said that like they've struggled on the likes of dating apps because lads will be kind of, they'll see it as intimidating. So they can't have a conversation with them. And I'm like, oh, okay. Do you find that? Do you find that? Do you find that? Do you find that men are intimidated with intellectual conversations? I don't know if men can have intellectual conversations. Oh my God.

Clip, Clipping that. Clipping that. That's getting shared everywhere. You want it. You wanted the views. You got them. You got them.

I'm going to send that. I'm going to send that straight to Andrew Tate and he's going to put it on the manosphere. You know. Aside from this conversation, this group of people, it must be the people that I'm talking to. No, don't be, don't be, don't be, right. Don't be trying to roll a back now. You've already, the damage is done. Yeah, we probably have the same thing where you could be talking to someone and it's like, is there, is there any, like, speak, use your words, say something that is actually you can do something with?

So I don't know if that's just a lad's way of chatting to someone, but it's like, hello. knock knock who's there say something like have a conversation what's one thing that would make let's say you're on a date with with a man right chair Rob take down some notes there what's if you're on a date with a man what's one thing what's one trait now that makes him instantly

more attractive I think it probably is like just actually being able to have a conversation and like ask questions like if you're the one that's holding up a conversation and always the one asking questions, it's so annoying. Like, it's frustrating. So somebody who's actually present in the conversation and is genuinely interested, like,

even with the PhD, I always open for some reason with, like, I know it's not interesting. I won't get into it because it's interesting to probably very select few people. But if somebody actually engages with it, even if they couldn't give a shit, but they still ask questions. It's like, thank you. Because I might not understand your job or necessarily care deeply about it, but I can still ask questions about it and get interested in it. Even if you're faking it, just fucking fake interest. So lie to women. So we need to lie, yes, yes.

Okay. Right about what you do. That's what you took from that. That's fine. That's fine. And here's a question for you. So why do you think that your research isn't interesting? I think it's interesting to people in my field and who care about it.

But in terms of to, like if I was to hop on Instagram and start talking about it, I don't think I'd have many people who are interested because I also think within the fitness space and maybe this is the reason why I also like having something that's not coaching related is a lot of, and understandably coaches and fitness are so in great. in the fitness base that they forget there's a real world happening as well outside. You hate coaches. You hate the fitness industry. I've got that vibe off you. I don't. I just... Do you? No, I just may be similar to you. I like the fact that you talk about more than just

fitness and coaching. Yeah, you're sick of talking about fitness. It doesn't stimulate you intellectually, so you're bored of it. Would I be correct? Maybe there is parts of it. I am bored. Like, I don't really want to talk about protein all day. Like, that does kind of bore me. But maybe it's just the thing. case of I've been through the obsessive phase of fitness. I've been through the it being such a huge, huge, huge part of my life. And now I'm a little bit older that I'm kind of thinking, yeah, it's still a huge part of my life. But there's more important things happening, you know, than arguing with somebody around whether or not you should do cardio before or after your weight

training session. Like I just don't have the capacity to have those types of conversations anymore. Like, there's bigger things happening. Yeah, it doesn't stimulate you anymore. And now you resent it. Don't resent it. What do you reckon Carl's doing wrong on his dates? Just based on the last two minutes of conversation. I have another question.

I have another question before. We've run out of time today. I have a question before we get into that. So what? I'm just taking a question to my head so we can move on from me. Okay. So the most important thing is curious. curiosity you think in a conversation on the first day for Rob?

I think curiosity in general is that is probably just like a good trace. Just, you know, you can dip into every and any conversation. Like you could literally talk about it doesn't even matter. It doesn't have to be one topic. It just goes into absolutely anything. It can just be random. Literally, top of the stars, I don't care. But just being able to have an easygoing flowing conversation.

That's, it just makes. there were a little difference. Is this not just highlighting how low the fucking bar is? It's on the floor, it's in hell. Holding a conversation and asking a question, asking a woman questions

about what they're interested in or what they're doing. That just, you know, I think the conversation is a skill. What? Holding a conversation as a skill. I think it's pretty important. I'm not saying it's not important.

I'm not saying it's not important. I'm not saying it's something you can work on, but like she's like that the bar yeah as she said the bar is on the fucking floor like i fully fully thought that like re-entering the dating pool in like mid to later 20s was going to be not bad like i stupidly thought that because we're all older and i'm not like 21 on this anymore 20 whatever i was that it would be easier but i've realized actually many lads in their Curtis are the most immature people that I've ever come across in my life. Is it harder, is it harder gone or do you just have higher standards, which isn't a bad thing,

by the way, but I'm just, I want to ask that question. Because you know the way when you're younger, when you're in your early 20s, you have more tolerance for people. You have more tolerance for people's behaviors and personalities. And when you're older, I think you have, you give you give less people the time of day, in my own experience. I can. Yeah, no, I actually thought about this too. It's interesting when you look at it because, yeah, when you're in your, when you're in college and you're on it, whatever, or you're looking for someone, you don't really care about jobs, you don't care about security, simply anything. Like, you just really couldn't give a shit. Everything feels so far away. And then obviously when you come back and you're a bit older, you can not care about those things, but then there's always like a voice in your head that does care about. out those things. So you're trying to be realistic as well because you don't want to waste your time.

You don't have the capacity to deal with stupid shit. So I think it's both. Like you've got more standards probably as well because when you're earlier or when you're younger, you don't know much about yourself and you're not that aware. Like I'm much more self-aware now than I ever was. So it's interesting even I can clock certain things when I engage in conversation with someone or I know when my insecurities are coming out. Whereas when I was younger, I never would have seen that. So I think standards are higher as well when you start thinking of the future. But then also I think it is harder because the whole thing is just like gamified.

And it's like a validation tool for so many people instead of actually. connection. It's funny. You know, people treat it as though like why are you on a dating app if you don't want to, I'm confused. Like why? Just get off. You're wasting time.

That's why they're on there. Dating apps are net negative or net positive for dating? I don't want to say negative because my first and only and long-term relationship was from a dating app. So I have a positive experience, I would

say from that but like there's definitely negatives that come with it as well for sure do you think in okay that's a personal experience but let's say over large as a researcher over a large scale data do you think it has helped or hindered people in finding relationships no i'd say probably hinder yeah yeah i because you just it's so much easier to be it's easier to disconnect. Like if you're in person with someone and you're chatting with them, you're in that situation.

You can't just click a button and disappear and never see them again, whereas you can do that and that happens all the time where you could just be in the middle of conversation and it's gone and you're like, okay, cool. That brings us on to ghosting. What are your views on that, Carl?

No, before we do that, we have to go on to so. Do you think Rob should delete his dating apps. But if I said, yeah, then I'd say we don't, I'd have to delete him two. And like, I just, I don't know. I go to your phases of should you or shouldn't you? I don't, I don't know. Rob, what do you think? Right now, I think, yeah, I should.

But it's more circumstantial because I'm not in a position where I know what I'm offering someone else, I guess. So I probably should. Well, I don't know what I'm offering myself. What do you mean? At the moment, as in I don't know what my, I'll stop. with the wise, wise, wise, getting deeper. What about you, Carl? How's your thing?

No, finish what you said. I think what I would offer someone at the moment is more turbulence than comfort. What does that mean? He does know what he wants. I don't want to say. You don't know what you want? Yeah, basically.

Like my life direction at the moment, there isn't one. I'm in like a spinning vortex at the moment trying to pick which way to jump out of it. So unless someone wants to jump me and they jump me. If someone wants to join me in that vortex and spin around with me, then that's fine. But I don't really, yeah. I'm not in a position where I can confidently say this is where I'm going to be, this is what I'm going to be doing. So effectively all I'm offering is short-term low commitment. no real expectation outcome thing.

And even that, I don't really want. Brian, what would you say to someone if you're on a date and they said that to you? This is why I'm not on dates. Now, you should probably read the signs in some things, like take their, take lad's words at it. So people can actually say in their profile, obviously they don't want anything long term.

You should probably take that as, as Bible of okay no why am I shocked they said this so why am I surprised but yeah you also something that probably a lot of girls fall into the trap of when they're younger is they get into those situations of people who don't want something long term or it's like um something that they think I can I can change them type of type of situation no you can't that's the way that they are take it or leave it just don't

what is it saying like don't date for potential like date what's in front of you so if what they're showing you is what they're showing you and they say like

I am a turbulent person like just take that you're not you probably won't necessarily you can change it yourself so if somebody's going through a shitty time

yeah you can be there but you can't change their circumstances so on your own so you have to choose okay have the self-aware to say, okay, like, this is great crack and all, but no.

But do you think that too much self-awareness means that you don't give people a chance? Yeah, I think you have to, it's, I'd like to know what it's like from a lad's perspective as well when they're, because I've never actually obviously seen girls pages, so I don't know what girls are like on apps. But yeah, I think there's, um, you can take it too serious, which then, takes the fun out of it because if you're kind of if you're going into it you have to have low expectations and that's not saying like of the person but more so you can't go into every conversation like here I'm going to I want to marry this person you know because your everything becomes really serious and you you forget to just like have fun with it and like mess around

and find out like just have a bit of crack so there is it's kind of trying to be both you you you want to be self-aware because you have to have your wits about you and not get messed around but then you also just want to say like fuck it like you could chat this person once meet them worse meet them once and never again

but like it could just be fun like that that's it like nothing could come out of it but it's a bit of crack fine do you think that every person deserves a second date because they might not they might not

you know show their best selves on a first date because they might be nervous or whatever. Do you think lads deserve a second day? I have truthfully never got to, ever since I went back into the dating pool, I've actually never went to a second date or been on one. You're ruthless.

No, that's, I mean, that could be on my, that could be from my end too, I don't know, but I, I do get the, the, I do get it that in, like, the first day could be shocking just because of nerves or it can just be awkward, like there's that level of awkwardness regardless. So fair that you I wouldn't say you shouldn't just because maybe

the first one is not great but I also think you have an instinct and you kind of know so like you could have I have it both experiences of find you very attractive but I can't talk to you so this is just no this is pointless

like you can't hold a conversation you're very pretty but no then the opposite where they're really easy to chat to but you just don't find them physically attractive. I prefer the first option. Someone's talking about me.

I haven't actually, it's very rare to get both things together. I'm like, if I could just like take a part of that and a part of that and put it together, amazing. But do you not think some people might be a slow burner,

you know, and you just have to give them more of an opportunity? But then I don't know, like lads aren't that forward with that type. I haven't come across I find that many lads don't just outwardly say and this is why I stupidly thought

that lads would be more like forthcoming and open and transparent as they got older no but they don't just say this is the crack it's you're still playing riddles of I'm not in your brain do you want to just let me know what's going on there please for the love of God like if you're not attracted just say it

to know, it's not that big of a deal or if you don't want to like chat anymore, just say it. That probably plays into the ghosting thing. You can just say it. Like I've been honest and said it to people too and I've had it said back to me if they like, don't say it going anywhere.

I'm like, cool, thanks for telling me. I actually just appreciate that. I think most girls do. In terms of being in Rob's head, do you think that he might be just do you think when he says that oh i have nothing to really offer right now because i don't know what direction that i'm going in do you think that could just be an insecurity okay can i correct that i think i've got a lot to offer and that kind of addresses what you just said there

just don't feel confident in the fact that i can actually give it in a stable environment right now but also yeah it probably is to do with insecurity as well i kind of want to know carroll your relationship and dating status right now i've done I'm just enjoying... Doesn't have one. I just enjoy having the chat switches. That's all, you know. I think he's...

The questions he's asking are actually about himself. He's just picking and choosing which ones related. Yeah, yeah, just taking down notes. We haven't spoke to Jared all about his life. That's perfectly fine. Well, anyway... What do you think is the problem with girls, though, when it comes to dating? Like, guys, I know what's always placed on men and, you know, hashtag not all men.

But a lot of men... I think a lot of the issues we bring up about men women also do as well. Yeah, like I don't think that we're not problematic. I just don't know what we do wrong. I think I do.

I think there's lots of similar issues, but I also think it comes down then to selection process. Can I talk about hypergamy? Yeah, go on. You're going to do what you want to do anyway. No, Mo, I think women's problem is that they take

the top 10% of men who are probably really, really attractive, have a really great date and profile, who have access to plenty of women, and then they have a bad experience with that 10% and then they portray that as all men are scumbags and all men are blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you finish the sentence. And then they disregard 90% of men who maybe aren't dating or aren't given an opportunity today. Because like we said, with dating apps as well, is like, okay, you're just scrolling on a profile. You're judging that person straight away from a picture or whatever it is. Or they say that they're not highly educated or, you know, they're not making a certain amount of money or they're not a certain height or whatever it is.

So then a majority of men get disregarded straight away while the top 10%, 5%, whatever it is, you know, go around doing whatever they do. And then that's what's the word I'm looking for? in terms of your brain, you've a distorted view on what the male population actually looks like in the dating dynamics because of dating apps. That's my two cents, if anyone cares. I mean, yeah, well, isn't it a thing though as well

where, like, for some, because lads can just be, you know, like really shit taking photos or having photos of themselves, like a lot of lads actually are better in person than they are on the apps, whereas it's like the reversal for women because you can doctor yourself up for photos, but you can do that in real life. Yeah.

Yeah, I, do you know, I actually, I don't know why I thought, because, Carl, I know you, like, read this stuff, but I did read now because there's more women educated, actually in going to, like, third level education than men. There's now more, like, college-educated women marrying non-college educated men, and that's having an impact on the non-college educated women

who typically go for non-college educated men. I think there's That's interesting I never even thought about that That was economic that's economics research But I do think you have right So there is

And I think most women will realize It is definitely a selection thing Where you do look at Okay yeah The first photo that pops up fine whatever But you do automatically scroll to maybe education, not all the time, but somewhat. Job. And if it's not there, you're kind of like, why?

Yeah. So yeah, yeah. That's the interesting thing that I think is that, I think most relationships to, like, broadly speaking, now this is just my, it's, I've no data to back this up, but I would imagine that most, in most relationships, the female is probably a little bit more intelligent or a little bit more educated. But if the man has a decent career and is making a decent living, that probably subtracts from that. Like put it this way and tell the truth, Gronia, and don't lie, okay, because we'll know if you're lying. Okay, if you're on a date with someone and he's not more educated than you, maybe he only finished secondary school and he also earns a lot less than you, will that, will that have a,

will that dictate your process in terms of a second day, third day, fourth day? I've actually had like this conversation with myself of questioning this because I feel like I'm probably not in a great position to judge that

because A, and this isn't like a cocky thing, I probably will be more educated than the person that I win unless they also have a doctorate, I'm going to have the highest level of education that you can have if I make it to be. end. So that that's not really a barrier. But with the like the income thing I think is interesting because

more women now anyways do have really good jobs or may earn more than that. They definitely do earn more. It is a, I think it's more of a case of it's maybe less about how much they earn, but more you just don't want to feel like you're maybe constantly a provider for them or you don't want to be seen as the person who's, you know, you still want to see that whatever job that they're in, they're still aiming at something. Like they still have some level of drive towards it, our ambition, and they're not just thinking, she can cover me. You know, I would never want a lad to think because, let's say,

strip out coaching, if you're a PhD student, you're earning less than minimum wage, right? You're basically under the poverty line. You wouldn't, I would never, ever want a lad to see that. as she can't pay for something or she can't look after herself I would hate that to be a case in any relationship like I'm fine on my own

you do I don't think I don't think it's the same dynamic for men and women men don't really care how much a woman a woman earns I don't think as much as women care about how much a man earns maybe like maybe for some women genuinely yeah they will look at what a lad is earning and say you can match a lifestyle that I want, right? So it also is like what type of a lifestyle that you want?

I don't you, okay, maybe maybe it's like subconsciously you could look at somebody's job on a day nap and you're kind of tallying, oh, that's. Yeah. I don't think I don't, and I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that in like a sadistic way. I'm saying it in like like a biological response to this person after me. Yeah. Yeah. I think women, and genuinely I do think it is a case where as much as this is a narrative around like women have an independence, financial independence, all this, I think that's true and women do want that. But I also do think women want to, and that cliche of like step into their feminine energy where they don't have to be the provider and the person who is like head of the household all the time, etc. I think women want to have the choice to be able to do that. But I also think that they, for many women,

maybe not all women, they also want to partner where they don't have to be that like leader dominant person in their relationship. Yeah. And maybe that is the whole biological kind of thing coming back. It's you're maybe looking at a guys or a man's job, just more so thinking stability and security rather than how much money it is. It's just can they offer stability and security?

So a million. question would you date a failing artist a failing artist I just in what way I don't know it doesn't matter yes so let's in a band he's in a band he's on the doll he no he's did you hear that Rob don't go don't start a band put down that guitar so sure look put down that guitar Aesaf But it's just one of those things that okay if you've been doing that

for how many years of your life and you haven't got many other places and you're not trying to do anything else. What if he's a comedian? He's a little bit, he's kind of funny but he's not selling out anything at the moment

and he's a little bit broke and he needs like a hundred euro off you to, you know, get the bus down to Limerick to do a gig in town. No. No, no. No, that's,

that's a red fly, but you have to like, come on now. But what if he's really funny? yeah but if he was really funny he'd be selling out something because humor because humor because humor can combat against okay right I might not be highly educated I might not be financially stable but I'm really funny yeah but like that's like humor is great and all but also I mean your humor pay rent and bills or a mortgage no well kind of jog on no offense I guess it also depends on where in the relationship you are. If you're meeting up with someone that's basically coming up to you and saying, I've got no money, let's go on this date. Can you buy the drinks and actually can you lend me a hundred euro just to get the bus?

I don't have to get home. That's not a good start. But if you're dating them, they've got a successful-ish career. That's not getting a second day. But they were forthcoming. They told you the truth. You asked for honesty. They pretended to be interesting.

Thank you questions. Yeah. Like, okay, that's appreciate the honesty. Like, that's not, it's not the best kind of start now. Right. Like, that's something that would be head. That's a date and title for like the Irish independent or something of something that went wrong. Like, that's just that would sum up.

Graunya, this question is going to distinguish whether you're more progressive or more of a trad wife. Should a man pay on the first day? I what's the date? The date is dinner and drinks. That's a terrible first day anyway. Is it? What's a good first day? Rob, Robert Dock. Something more, well, that's not for me to decide.

I want you to answer the question. More of an active date. I personally would say an active date one way, not just facing each other, interviewing each other one that you're actually doing something together. Yeah, you'd love an active date, wouldn't you? Yeah. How's that working out?

You dirt, yeah. Oh, I can't provide. you anything right now but let's go to bed what would be a good what would be a good first acre on you for the lads I think that could also depend like how long you've been you've been chatting with someone too

not that long let's say a week you're text on an Instagram when you're like what you want to go on a day yeah then I suppose the default is always kind of coffee and walk isn't it that's kind of like the default you can eat that doesn't have to be long

or it could progress if it's actually going well or it could be now. Okay, here we go. Here we go. So we're on the first date, right? There's coffee involved. You're waiting for him to pull out the wallet to pay for it. And he goes, will you get this?

Yeah, no, I wouldn't love that now. Wouldn't love that. I think as soon as someone says, will you get this, regardless of which way around it is, that's not all right. I think. Yeah.

Like I would, I would prefer like again more down the line I'm a very very 50-50 person like I'd never expect a lad to always pay it or never ever and I wouldn't like it either

that would that would annoy the shit out of me but on a first day you'd be kind of assuming they they just would like is that not the thing would what right you're on the you're on the walk

you're going to the cafe you grab a coffee and he goes and he just pays for his own he doesn't pay for yours yeah I feel like that would that would be on my head for the rest of the walk can't lie I'd be a bit like sorry now

but what so we've come to the conclusion that the man should pay on the first day you should pay for the first he should pay for the first coffee and the first dinner yeah I think it's more just and it's not it's not like you can pay like I wouldn't mind

I think it's just I don't know what it is but it's more so you don't even want to have a conversation about it if they just go up and pay it's just I don't know like it's a nice thing to do but then I don't know like let's say if a girl let's say if you were out

to a date with a girl or whatever and she she paid and you didn't even know how would you feel personally oh no oh no you paid for my drink on a date, what'll I do?

This isn't going to work. This isn't going to work. You've emasculated me. No, but if you let me you're out for dinner and then you didn't realize what she went and stayed. I'm not going to lie. I'd hate it. I would hate if we were like on a first date and it was a dinner and she paid for her.

For the first date. Because I'd be like I'm paying. Why? Are you less of a man because she paid for your dinner? Yeah, I think so. You can buy the second dinner. Yeah, but yeah, I know. I can't. There's Carl's argument. as well as like does a girl wait for the lad to pay because that kind of

makes them feel good so you're like I'll let them do that and then in future dates you obviously would buy them a drink or whatever like that's absolutely fine but is it a thing of just you let the lab pay because it makes them feel good but I'm just I don't know I'm very traditional I just don't I just don't I just don't like it I don't I think I would feel like the the word that chair used there is exactly how I'd emasculated. Yeah, I would.

I feel like if the issue on the date is who's paying for what, it's not going to work because you're not actually interested enough in the person that's actually in front of you. It shouldn't be a conversation.

Even if I absolutely hated the date and I was like, I'm never talking to this person again. I'd still get their dinner. I would pay anyway. Yeah, but if they, if they sneakily beat you to it, I'm not going to be like,

oh, fuck no. No, I'm like, no. I would just revoluted them or something but like, yeah. I wouldn't, but I also wouldn't like that she did that. I'd be like,

I think that's my job. I think it kind of sets a tone in a way of if the lad, if you don't speak about the price of that then the cost of anything paying for anything, I think it's a nice thing because it's not front and center. If she paid that behind my back, I would think straight away she's going to be a nightmare in the future. Or it's just something.

You know why? Or if you know why. There's logic behind it. someone something. Yeah, but you know what? You feel in death into her. There's logic behind us.

Now, she's too independent. Uh. See, I would think the opposite. I would almost be like... Like, she's going to fight me on everything. My brain would go to... They've paid for this to entrap me into a second date, almost.

That's where my brain would go. Your brain would be like... Are you looking at it? Baby? This is the problem. This is why there's, like, a disconnect between men and women, because the way you think

or interpret things is different to how we interpret things. So you would never just, you would never go on a first day and then just slightly pay for it. I actually don't think I've had like a pay issue where somebody hasn't just paid without being, and it has never been a thing. It wasn't ever like, I'll fight you on this or I needed to like take out my purse

and like go about paying. So I don't, or maybe I have. Is that why you only do first dates? Because that's the one that you don't have to pay for. I'm joking, I'm joking. Free day dinner, is it? Right, another question. What is something that men should stop doing on a first day?

I haven't had like that money to actually have this like A4 list of reds and greens going on. So what is, here's a question for you then. is getting the ick about someone a real thing or do you just not like them? Oh see I did see this thing before where it was like if you're not attracted to a person you'll find something to be an ick but if you are attracted to them you can play it off and it's more maybe like funny or just something that kind of irritates you but it's not an ick which I also think goes for you know when people say they don't know what they're looking for it's probably a case of you don't know what you're looking for it's probably a case of you don't know what

you're looking for if you don't want that person but if you liked a person you would know what you're looking for. You would suddenly think actually maybe I do want this relationship because I'm attracted to them but I don't want a relationship and I don't know what I want because I'm not attracted to you. I hate the word dick.

But do you not? Yeah I know I know You just don't like them. That's it. But do you not think right? Let's say if we go back to the first date thing right and you're you're having a good first date with this person this person's all right and then they say will we split the bill or whatever it is. Does that and and then that can literally change the whole dynamic of the day for some women.

So surely then the ick is a real thing then because it's like oh this lad's not gonna, this lads, this lads. So then the it's the ick is that you're after losing and trust in them to a degree. Like that is, it's less that it, that's an it, but it's more you've just kind of thought, oh, like is this going to be, is this a thing now where like he never just wants to pay for anything on his, like, or does he need help with money or like I'm just a red a red warning that he's not going to he's not going to provide for me.

What if it's yeah well there you go if it's not if it's 50-50 then it's just they're paying their part. I'm not saying I'd do it but like how do you get the ick from someone who doesn't want to spend all of the money let's say it's a big dinner date or something of that you both agreed to go out in a date.

It's not. We're going to pay devil's advocate on it like no it's what would you get the ick on someone going 50-50? It'd be different if they said, I'm not paying for it. But what if, Ger, you asked this person out, right, Jerry? You asked, or right? Whoever asks the person out should pay for the first bit of whatever the date is. Oh, question.

Is it, would you prefer to be the person who ask the person out, or do you like when women ask guys out? I saw funny meme the other day where it was the difference between guys and girls walking down the street getting cat called and like obviously don't agree with women getting cat called or harassed on the street but when it happened to the man he starts blushing and it's like oh you're so handsome

and he's like oh thanks of course you'd enjoy someone asking you out on a date yeah Carl probably not well I suppose it probably depends on it but I don't know yeah I don't know I don't know I don't know I feel like

Rob but this is the thing of do lads actually like girls who quote-unquote know what they want and who are forward and direct or do they actually not like that really and they say they like that but actually no they don't i think it depends where the guy is like if if the guy's a bit insecure not quite sure what they're doing and they're not sure what they want if a girl then comes in and goes this is what i want we're going to do this they're probably more likely to resist it whereas if they're looking for the same thing, they'll be like, oh, sweet, breath of fresh, yeah, I don't have to. That's double standards, though, for men and women, because lads can be like, oh, I'm taking, like, it's not even a question of do you want to go on a date? We're doing this X time.

And then that's meant to be taken as, oh, a lad who knows what they want, nice, assertive, great quality, good characteristic, whatever. But then if a girl does it, you're like, oh. no why I'm okay with that okay with that yeah but it can go the other way

then when a man is leading in a server it's like no he's not gonna fucking tell me what I think I think that in today more men are afraid to approach more men have approach anxiety than they did

back in the day because they're worried that they're going to be put up on social media and be like oh this lads this lads are creep this lads creeped me out or whatever like you had that whole trend of the

Joey Swelting of like a lad looks in the direction of a girl in the gym and next minute he's on TikTok and the girls are like I really hate that stuff of like when girls kind of go berserk at lads in a gym I'm like you know you're the same person

who says you find it really hard to meet lads because all you do is sit at home and go to the gym and then you complain when a lad approaches you in the gym I'm so confused like there's a difference between being creepy and someone just coming up for a chat or like smiling at you from the gym like that's fine

but do you think that line has become blurred because a lot of men were kind of I don't know criticised for looking in the direction of a woman yeah I like there's a lot of things where obviously support women and everything but some conversations or some narratives just

do go too far and I I don't agree with them like you stare people in the gym it just happens and you might not mean it. Like you just end up looking at someone, they look back at you or, you know, when you get that blank stare, you're kind of staring and you don't realize you're staring at somebody. You just can't look away. You're like, I'm very, very sorry. It just happened. Like, you look at people in the gym. Who doesn't? It's same as when you tell like a newbie to the gym,

no one's going to see you. People see you. Like people know. If people are there long enough, they know you're a newbie. They know you've never been here before. Doesn't mean it's a bad thing. They just recognize that you're there and you're new. That is it. Similarly, if a lad looks in your direction, they're not stalking you necessarily or being a weirdo, they're just looking. You're looking at them too. So I mean, girls look at lads in the gym.

So why are we saying that the lads can't look at girls? Double standards. I'm like, tell me as a girl, you've never looked at a lad in the gym before and just thought, oh, he's good looking or he's attractive. Like, yeah, you have. Can can a lad

approach a girl? girl in the gym, task girl. Is that allowed or is that a no-go area? I don't have experience with it

so I don't know but I would you would you mind if you're doing your workout you're in the zone and then

a lad comes up to you and is like Grania Nando's later what we say what we're saying I'll pay no split Nando's a red flag

no splittes I'd probably just prefer them to try and have a conversation than go straight in because then you're kind of trapped. You've never actually spoken to this crater before in your life

but they've just decided to ask you out. I'd rather just have a conversation. What could they say to not be creepy? No, like you're just like a general I don't know or whether they I don't know like if you're doing something or no maybe I shouldn't say like put a weight back because then somebody would be like

I can put my own weights back. I don't need them to. See what I mean? man I'm just getting an island and a load of dogs that's I think the easiest way to go I don't know if I would use that in the moment I'd ask them out but I would probably just say if you've never spoken to them before maybe try and wait in the car park

I was watching you in the gym so I waited until you got out here I've been waiting here for the last two hours like you can do it creepily but it's the same as if you were just like if you're out in, let's say you're out in a pub or whatever and a lad approaches you. Like you don't see that as creepy. So why is it creepy in the gym?

You're obviously both clearly into exercising going to the gym. So you have a common interest. Talk about that for a second. Is the difference between it being creepy and not being creepy how attractive they are? Probably, to be fair. Or like their age or something. Like if it was like a really, if it was like an old man or something and they were like chatting you up, you'd be a bit like that's, that's.

creepy now. A lot of people is going to pay for the first day. Pretty privilege. And he asks you questions. Pretty privilege is a real thing. No, it is.

It definitely is like a real thing. Like it is. It's the same with like skinny privilege or whatever. Like they are real things. So it's, you know, you can fight as much as you want. But like they are,

they are real. And this goes back to my final point on, what did I say? What did I say about? Hypergamy. 80% of the men. Don't get a chance. 20% or 10% are the dogs who give the rest a bad name.

And then women say all men are. I do think like, I know women or a lot of women do have that as well where their whole perception of men is just your shit. Like pipeline period. And that problem, I don't know, they got messed over when they were in their younger years. They got cheated on all that kind of crack.

so they have like severe trust and insecurity issues. And so understandably like, yeah, and social media. Maybe that's also why I don't like saying I'm an online coach and stuff because I don't want people to automatically think like that you're going to put everything on social media. Like I didn't really have my last relationship on social media. Like I had the standard post that you would have with your partner, but I wasn't doing like reels and shit with them.

Not that they would have anyways. They didn't care for it neither did I. But it is just, I think, one of those where, wait now, I've lost my trail of thought. About women, what was it again? Women,

oh yeah, women Hayden on men. Oh yeah, I don't have like a really shit experience because A, I never was attractive with lads when I was younger anyway, so that didn't a kind of trauma from something that didn't exist.

And I only had one relationship and that was a net positive. It didn't end negative either so I wasn't coming out of it like hating all men. So when I went back dating or even after dates I tried to like wipe the sleigh clean with every person. So even if the last person was just like a piece of shit, I wasn't trying to say right, the next person's just going to be a piece of shit because it is unfair. Like it is because then you are more standoffish. You're more defensive. You're really cutthroat

and like it's not fair because they could just be a nice lad who is like a slow burn and they don't get the time of day. So that's what I mean. I don't think it's always on like men's fault. And we talk about modern dating. Like women have a lot to answer for it too. And I feel like I'm just after coming against women more so than men in this. Yeah, we love that. We love that. Well done. We taught you were, we brought you all to be the enemy and you're in the alliance now, which is great. Last question because Jair has to go. Do you think that Jair is isolating himself to protect himself from a broken heart? Who said I'm isolating myself? You said, you're going to live on an island with two dogs?

No, after doing this fucking podcast, I might do it. You think that's a thing, Gronia, that a lot of people in modern dating now just kind of opt out of dating because they're like, ah, I'm just terrified, aka Jair. Before she jumps into that, I'd like to say that, like, not isolating myself, but I am currently enjoying building the life I have at the moment. Do you think people, Gronia, do you think people jump into work to distract themselves from, from Hardache. Is there like

that's someone that does that quite a lot? Doom scrolling, whatever you want to. Yeah. Yeah, but like there's, I think I think there is going to be that there probably already is where people have maybe been single for so long that they're so comfortable being single, that it's

just like the effort that goes in to actually meeting someone and chatting with someone and getting to know them. Like it's so, like it is actually draining. It is, when you actually want to get to know someone or you put an effort, it's so draining. If, if nothing.

especially if nothing comes out of it, and then it's a cycle. I do probably think there are a lot of people who are just, you know what, be on my own, do my running, my higher ox, whatever it is, work away, and I don't need anybody. And that's obviously, I know there's the whole male-onlyness epidemic, so it contributes to that, but then also it means that women can't find someone because all the lads that they would actually probably end up in relationship have just like opted out of the dating pill, and they're not in it anymore.

They're up Wicklow Mountains every day They're doing triathletes. They're out swimming without a wetsuit. That's what I mean. Like the good ones are there out in the sea, doing the sea swims or just like at home and you're also at home.

So you and all just like... Everyone's at home, basically. Basically. So how are you? That's why also you're kind of led to just going on dating apps because maybe that's where a lot of the good percent are. High day. The summary of the podcast is don't become an online coach.

I thought this was a fantastic episode. This is my favorite episode. Yeah. Now, Grania, I know you don't want to be associated as an online coach, but you do have a coaching. I am an online coach. You are an online coach.

If people wanted to follow up with the work that you do, that has nothing to do with calories and protein and exercise and everything to do with the economy and dating dynamics. Go on. Where can they find you? Dating dynamics. Well, my Instagram is probably the, is my main spot.

Gronia underscore Gibson. And then I hope by the end of this year I will have my first published paper. Hopefully by the end of, maybe by the end of summer or early. I don't know. It's a fucking fitness definitely in coaching, teaches delayed gratification,

as we all know. That's a nice crossover into research because if you don't have patience and delayed gratification, you're going to end up in. Why don't you just coach, why don't you just coach PhD students? Yeah. I would say I have, I have two, actually. And it is nice because we understand like the struggles and the mental gymnastics of it all. Yeah. But it's also, it will be a, you would definitely probably need more like a group model as opposed to one to one because also there is the financial dynamic of a, of a, of a, of a people.

like you're quite possibly one of the Brokest categories. Make it low cost. Make it low cost. Get a load of them in a Zoom group and then he's going to all talk about your PhDs and what he's there studying and what he's learned. Do you know what I mean? How interesting would that be? Yeah, no, I do have like a I do have, there's a whole actual and I found it. Was it last year? Maybe last year over a year ago. There's a whole network or side of Instagram that's just like people who have basically become content creators because of, their PhD. So it's a whole side of just them. And actually a great group of people. It's also

really refreshing because they're a group of people who they don't actually care about fitness and they don't care about bodies or anything like that. Like it's, it's like, how do you organize your day? And what apps are you using to structure this? Nobody gives a shit about what you're eating and your protein and your calories. That's quite refreshing to remember that there's people out there like that as well. So no, I don't hate fitness. I just do like when I can converse about shit that is not fitness. Okay. She hates fitness guys. Hates fitness. Hates fitness. Ask women questions. And I don't, sneak up behind them in the gym. Be curious. Don't talk about fitness. Approach at the gym. And wait in the car park for two hours.

That's all I got out of this podcast. Wait outside the gym door. Oh, God. Thank you very much, Groni. You have been an absolute pleasure. Goodbye folks. Thank you.