The Uneducated PT Podcast - 🎙️ Episode 86: Breaking Free from Diet Culture with Becky Jones

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

🎙️ Episode 86: Breaking Free from Diet Culture with Becky Jones (@the_empower_coach) In this empowering episode, Karl O'Rourke welcomes Becky Jones, the force behind The Empower Coach, to delve into the complexities of diet culture and the journey toward food freedom.Becky shares her personal experiences and professional insights on dismantling harmful narratives around dieting, embracing intuitive eating, and fostering self-compassion.The conversation explores how societal pressures impact our relationship with food and body image, and offers practical strategies for cultivating a healthier, more liberated approach to eating. 🔗 Listen to the full episode here: The Uneducated PT Podcast on Spotify

Hello and welcome to the uneducated PT podcast with me, your host, Carlo Rourke. The goal of this podcast is to bring on interest and knowledgeable people from all walks of life, learn a little something from each conversation and for you, the listener, just learn something from each episode. So don't forget to subscribe to the channel, press the box below, show some support, and I'll see you on the next episode. Becky, can you tell the listeners a little bit about who you are and what you do for work? Yeah, of course.

So, obviously, my name is Becky, and I am the empowerment coach on Instagram. So I help people, like, well, obviously I'm a coach, online coach that helps people with breaking diet culture, mainly. Like, the type of people I help have been growing up, like grew up in the 90s, the naughties. They're affected by the whole, you know, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, all those kind of quotes that came up. And I want to help break that cycle and fall back in love with their bodies, a better relationship with food, all that kind of stuff that, you know, that impacted. Why did you go down this kind of avenue? Is this something that obviously impacted you? When you're younger, can you tell me a little bit about your own personal journey into coaching

and why you feel so passionately about helping women with food freedom? Yeah, absolutely. Yes, this is something that I struggled with. I grew up in the like 90s and 90s, so I'm going to show my age now. I'm in my 40s now, 41, so I grew up very much. in that environment. I actually, like before I became a coach, I actually worked in the fashion industry. So I worked in the fashion industry for like 15 years. So yeah, with my own journey with my relationship with my relationship of body, it was quite bad during my teenage years, my 20s

as well. I had an undiagnosed eating disorder when I was like 13, 14, really bad relationship with food coming out of that as well. It's where I had a lot of mental health issues going on at the same time. But that's how I like, you know, worked on myself through, like, it obviously took some time, like, through my teenage years, through my 20s, because it's quite taboo back then to speak of, like, mental health issues. Like, it was quite shamed upon and, you know, people didn't really, you know, you weren't, I felt like I couldn't speak up about it. So I think that's why now, I feel like I've got a voice, which I never had when I was growing up. I was extremely. extremely shy. Like, I actually, I couldn't let people in the eye. He used to walk around, like,

with my head down and things. Um, so I've been my 20s and stuff. I started to build up confidence. Um, I started working on my relationship with food and my body, started going to the gym, probably not until I was, um, yeah, mid 20s, 25, something like that. Um, and then it's probably my latest 30s that started getting into weight training and things. And, um, I still, um, I still had quite a bad relationship with food and my body at that point. But that's when I started turning into kind of the mindset and inner work as well. And exploring that in more depth. What does like, just for those listening that want to kind of understand, like what does, you know, toxic diet culture look like in regards to like what were kind of some of the behaviors that you were struggling with?

you touched on body image and food, but what does that look like for people that don't understand? Yeah, no, that's a good question. So for me, it was obsessive behaviour. Like, I could not stop thinking about, like, food. Even though I was restricting it at that time, it just takes up every single waking moment of your thoughts. Like, it drains your energy.

Like, it's like all you can think about, which means you're not present. You're not present, like, with your friends, with your family. you're not enjoying life because you're just so like in your head about everything. Same with body image. Like you're comparing, comparing to others, comparing to like the magazines,

the celebrities, like growing up in that time, the magazines used to do like the circle of shame with celebrities. Like, oh, they've got a bit of cellulite or they're, look how much weight they've put on. They used to talk about celebrities' weights in magazines as well. And I remember comparing to that.

I was thinking I had to be like eight stone was the magic number, but there was no context. There was no context about like how like tall they were, things like that. So it was just constant comparison, constant like, you know, obsession with numbers and what you're eating, what I shouldn't eat. Yeah. I hope that does I explain it a bit more. No, of course it does. And what do you think were some of the kind of main, what do you think contributed to you kind of getting out of that toxic kind of diet culture cycle?

actually when I started to educate myself around food and also around my body as well but yeah it was like I started going like I guess down rabbit holes with like educating myself around food and what that meant for my body like how I guess to see it as nourishment like what my body actually needed like oh it needed protein and it needed some fruit and it needed fudge and these are the reasons why I think the education just really helped me understand it. Do you think that like sometimes like it's hard for people to to find that information. You almost have to go on a journey before you end up finding that information. You have to get all the kind of terrible information and then it's like, okay, this, this doesn't work for me.

There must be some sort of alternative way and then, you know, you find advice that, you know, is more aligned with what you need. Yeah, absolutely because especially now with like, you know, I started researching it before, I guess, Instagram and stuff really blew up. So now you've got all this, like, misinformation. So it's even more confusing out there for people, especially when you've got, like, you know, people telling you that you can't eat fruit now because it's got sugar in it or something ridiculous. Like, and it's like, no, like, you just want to eat a healthy balanced diet and we shouldn't

be demonising certain foods. Every food has a place. And I think that's what's missing out there right now is just some real information. Yeah, yeah. Do you think it's hard for people to kind of come to grips with that kind of concept? Is that like, oh, I can actually have whatever I want because they're kind of holding on to this control that, oh, if I, if I allow myself to have the sugar or the chocolate or, you know, all these things that have been demonised, then, you know, I won't be able to control myself. Yeah, yeah. And there's definitely that guilt that's still wrapped up around certain foods as well. And like working with my clients as part of the work that we do is to help them, you know, um, see that it's all about balance and that it's every food has its place like I mentioned but it's also the experience around food as well it's not just food if that makes sense so yeah we do a lot of work around understanding that and letting go of the guilt and then

when they start seeing their results and start realizing they're not worried about it anymore they're like oh okay like didn't know how had to not worry about it so much yeah what um you said you you worked in the fashion industry for what a 15 years yeah yeah what's your opinions what was your experience like um what what what is that like yeah it's uh busy as i can say it's a lot um so yeah worked as a like a buyer and then i worked for um i worked in ted baker as um on the design team as well but it's very hectic like lots of deadlines lots of stress management

like overwhelm but as many offices are lots of people you know talking about diets and bringing in the bringing in all the foods and all that kind of stuff that's what I was going to ask you

did I have any impact on your relationship with field like in terms of your day to day yeah I mean luckily at when I started noticing it more and more when I was at Ted Baker actually

was at a point when I was starting to educate myself around nutrition. But I did start to notice how, especially at lunchtime, people like comparing their food, comparing their lunches, like always talking about what diet they were on or what food they should be eating. Like it was, yeah, very, yeah, like, which I think happens in a lot of office environments as well.

It's not as exclusive to the fashion industry. And after your 15 years in the fashion industry, then you decided to go into coaching? Yeah, so, like, I, was actually thinking for a while like I wanted a changing career because I just had I just kind of fell out of love with the fashion show. It became like it's just too corporate. I just felt like a number and like lost my passion for it. And I was like, well, what can I do? What can I help people with? Well, I had this draw to help people. I was already kind of helping people win in a fashion even though it's like a bit different. But the level that I was at, people coming to me for help. And then a lot of people start to coming to me when they're really stressed and overwhelmed and that I started to help them on. on that side as well. And then I was like, oh, do you know what?

I feel like I've got a straw to help people. And then I started like looking about like my own journey with my own, you know, issues, even around confidence, my body image, nutrition. And I was like, maybe, maybe I could do this. Maybe I could help people like, like, like if they're going through what I had, you know, help them in that way. And that's kind of how it came about. And it just all kind of started to fall into place.

Unreal. And commit, so for. For people who will be kind of listening to your story and, you know, the struggles that you went to being preoccupied by food, struggling with body image issues, like, what does a healthy relationship with food actually look like? Because a lot of people hear people talking about all the time about a healthy relationship with food, but might not understand what a healthy relationship with food looks like. So what does that look like to you and, you know, in your daily life, what does it look like for your clients? yeah so for me i i describe it it's like feeling free like it's no like it's not taking up headspace anymore but obviously you think about what am i going to eat like today what meals are going to have but it's not a stress it's not an overwhelm it's not like oh but if i eat this can i have that

and like you know there's no it's not that heaviness towards it if that's the right description um but now it's like yeah think about these things but i enjoy my meals I like, I'm not stressed in, like, for example, like Alex, my partner, he does most of the cooking. He loves cooking and he's really good. There was a time while I would stress out if someone was cooking for me, what the ingredients, what they put in it, how much of this, have they got, how much proteins in it? Now, I just sit then and enjoy the meal, like, and appreciate he's cooked for me. So that, to me is, like, I've just let go and it just feels free. Like, obviously, I eat, sorry, no, go ahead.

I was going to say, I eat, like, balance and healthy, like, I make sure, you know, For me, it's make sure majority of my diets are coming from whole foods. Like we eat a lot of veg, fresh food and things like that. Alex cooks everything from scratch. But I'm not worried about it anymore. Yeah. What are some of the first steps to kind of create that? Like obviously, like you said, it's almost about feeling at peace, not being overwhelmed by food, being able to just enjoy a meal for what it is.

But, you know, for someone who struggles with their relationship with food, you know, feels like they need to restrict. then they need to be a certain way and they're constantly kind of stressed about food and anxious and all them things, food anxiety. Like what are some of the first steps we can do to help people get on the road to a healthier relationship with food and food freedom like you just described? Yeah, no, it's a good question. And this is where I always say, like, you can't out-diet a bad relationship with food. The work needs to come from the mind.

It needs to come from that inner work. Like, where is this relationship with food coming from? Where was that worry coming from? Like, getting into like the whys and the what's, if that makes sense. Like, and that's how I work with my clients is going deeper than this level. So do you have to have that conversation with them? Like, listen, I know you're not going to like this, but we need to stop you dieting. Yeah.

Like, I don't actually give like a set meal plans and things like that because I want them to look at the foods that they're already having and I never say things are off limits it's more like what can we add in here to make it you know like healthier more balanced um and work on it that way um but we we get that we do a lot of reflection and more about reflection as well in in the coaching like if say they did have a weekend where they felt things went off track they feel guilty they overrate it's like okay so let's reflect on it what can we learn from this what how did you feel what went on in that moment so So that's why like I guess it's a, there's not one answer really to like help people get over their relationship food. But it is, it needs to be deeper than just dieting if that makes sense.

Yeah. No, that makes perfect sense. I would, I would assume then like it's a very, because if they're coming from a culture where they're constantly diet and they're constantly on a diet, they're on a diet off a diet, then to come to you and to try this different approach where it's like, oh, we're not. on a diet. I would imagine that's difficult for people. So there has to be kind of trust and, you know, a safe place for them to to be able to kind of incorporate that. Yeah, absolutely. And we give guidance and like help them. Some of them prefer to track and have targets and that's fine. But what I start to do is get them to think about balance across the week and not hitting numbers every single day perfectly to start creating about flexibility and balance. And then some of the some of them,

we start practicing mindful, what I call mindful eating where they don't track on certain days and they just mindful of what they eat and things like that to start coming away from that, like the obsession with it, if that makes sense. What would you do if you had like a client who, you know, you've taken on and, you know, they're emotionally eating and like how do you navigate that with clients who are struggling with emotionally eating? And they might be like, oh, Becky, I've after ruin and everything. I, you know, at the weekend, I had ice cream and I had pizza and, you know, now I need to restrict my calories and because I need to, you know, make up for the damage that I did on the weekend. Yeah, no, that happens quite often when these people come to me say like, yeah, things have gone, you know, things that went wrong, it's been full of the part, I failed.

And I'm like, no, you haven't failed. Like, that's in the past. So now you have the power to make the next decision. and we can move forward from this. Like we're not going to stress about what happened in the path, but we can reflect on it, we can learn from it, but what we can do now is focus on the next steps and next steps forward. But what we don't want to do is, yeah, go into high restriction and things like that because that would just go into that cycle again.

So we want to avoid that. You want to kind of reduce the shame around the food decisions. Does that tie into like this binge restriction cycle? And could you maybe explain that for the listeners who might not have, and might not understand it. Yeah, and this is something that I experienced myself as well. Like, it's a lot of people in there in this diet culture.

They will restrict heavily in the week, say Monday to Friday, they're like, I've been good. Like, you know, like keeping their calories really low, you know, just salads, like basically usually not eating enough as well. But obviously that it comes to the weekend where people's, I guess, barriers come down a little bit. They're introduced, like maybe going out for meals and things. things and then they binge on all those things that they've restricted during the week and then

they get these cravings and then they yeah and then they can't stop and that's yeah what happens in those kind of cycles yeah and what are some kind of strategies to help people avoid that so there's depends on the person and what they're actually going through but things like being realizing that things aren't off limits like you don't have to save things for the weekend um and and Like you can have bits of chocolate in the week. Like I do. Like I have like chocolate probably both evenings. But I just have a little bit and that's fine.

And that helps me. So it's just understanding that there's not this like off limit. I can't have this. You know, doing that in the week. And then you know, and then that's what starts the cravings off. Yeah. You know what?

As someone said to me a while ago and I always thought it was a great essay and it's like the best way to get rid of your cravings is to give into them. And I think it's like really smart. Like it's like because if obviously if you restrict something you feel deprived if you feel deprived then you want it even more. So by someone telling me that I can't have the chocolate, it's like okay, maybe I can go a couple of days without wanting it. But then it's like now I actually want it even more just because the fact that I can't have it. And I think by just giving in to your cravings and knowing that nothing's off limits and you can have anything you want, it's like the deprivation or the depriving of that thing is no longer, you know, pulling at you

to have it even more. And then even like in terms of like just bringing up your, like just basic things like, okay, have you been in a restriction cycle, just bringing up your calories and being able to kind of perform throughout the day because you're eating enough, I think is obviously really, really important. Yeah, absolutely. I've got a few clients that are on when it came to be very low. calories and like just introducing like um food to bring it back up um and they're obviously nervous and

scared and they're like I'm going to put on weight and I'm like just try just trust the process and then each week I'm like how do you feel how's your sleep how's your energy like I don't ask about weight actually like we don't I don't actually ask my clients for weight weighings at all so it's not what we focus on but um I get them to focus on how they feel if that makes sense so yeah yeah And speaking of how they feel, in terms of like, obviously this is very much correlated with body image issues and self-perception. I would imagine that a lot of the clients that you work with have struggled in the past with kind of body judgment and, you know, trying to kind of fix how they look. How do you go about improving that, helping someone to create a more positive body image? image or maybe even a better question is how did you go about your own journey of improving your

body image um so the reframing kind of exercises is what um we do a lot of in in the coaching and it's something that helped me when i was going through mine like so instead of like picking at all the parts of my body which i didn't like or like catching myself in the mirror i would challenge the thought and be like no my legs are like my thighs are that fat they're strong like look what they can lift what they can do in the gym and just like, oh look, what they enable me to do. And it's just like, and I always say to people, it takes time. Like, you have to keep challenging those thoughts because yeah, if you've been doing it for so long, it becomes a habit. Like, that neuro pathway in your brain is super strong from telling yourself the same narrative over and over again. So what we want to do

is break that and create a new one. So like, um, I explain to clients like, if you know, when you go on a walk and you see a footpath and it's well trodden and that path is well trodden and that path is well trodden. and that's where you're at the moment with your negative self-talk. So now we want to step onto the grass and we need to create that new path. So that's, yeah, that's how I kind of visual. I love visual cues.

I obviously a lot to explain things. Yeah, no, that makes perfect sense. I would imagine, like, you know, practical advice, like maybe if you're really suffering with kind of body image issues and constantly picking yourself apart in the mirror, like, trying not to kind of body check and look at yourself in the mirror constantly is probably

is probably something wise for people to do. Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, and oh, I get them to put like little post-its, cues up on the mirrors. That's very good. Things like that kind of break the cycle of like that negative talk that's coming up. And I'm like, those thoughts will come up. It's normal. And it's also, it might feel a bit icky and weird to tell yourself something positive to start with because you're not used to it. But keep challenging it and keep doing it. And then it kind of starts breaking that cycle. And yeah, that's what I find the most. What I always, I always say this about CrossFit and that style of training is that, like,

if you're looking for a healthier body image going to a gym where it's like there's no mirrors versus like a real like, like bodybuilder, like physique obsessed kind of gym, it's obviously a lot it will be it'll be a lot more productive in terms of improving a healthy body image because you're going into focus on performance

rather than appearance yeah yeah like a lot of my clients actually train at home as well because they don't feel quite comfortable for going to the gym and then we start transitioning into a gym and they feel confident enough but yeah

like it unfortunately sometimes we don't have a choice of when we train us that that's the problem. Yeah. Do you have any tips for people who are listening who might not have a coach and want to start training in the gym, but obviously are at that stage where they don't really feel comfortable or they don't feel confident? So when, yeah, with like building up confidence in a gym, I would always say like where where you feel comfortable in as well. Like you don't have to be wearing like certain gym outfits or anything like that unless you're comfortable to. I'm a big fan of headphones and getting in like a powerful playlist that makes you feel confident.

You know, you sometimes have those songs that make you feel good and make you feel more confident in yourself. Yeah, put some of those on. And if you're like first time in the gym as well, you're not sure, I'd always say if the gym does it, always get a, you know, the introduction where they walk you around, show you the machines so you can get familiar with it. But also, it's okay to just spend some time on the mat, stretching or in a corner somewhere just to familiarise yourself with the environment because I think like sometimes people think they've got to jump straight in and it's like, I can just take your time with it, you know, get used to the environment. Yeah, that makes sense. What's your opinion on, because I know a lot of people talk about the difference between kind of body neutrality and body positivity.

It's like if you're someone who, you know, is struggling with your body image, it might be a little bit more helpful to get to, a neutral position rather than like a positive position because you might not you know it might be just too difficult for you to almost say something nice about yourself if you're in if you're in them places yeah absolutely like having a body uh like i can't say it now neutral body neutral yeah i i sometimes i say uh like focus on functionality in terms of like what your body can do versus what your body looks like. Yeah, absolutely. And just like if you can just get to a place where you're indifferent, it doesn't matter. Like you just put some clothes and you're like, it doesn't matter. I don't care what I look like today. That's like you get into that point. I mean, that's me probably most

days. I'm like, oh, that'll do. But I think that it, I think you're, I think you're absolutely right. Like that is a place that like most people should aspire to be at. Like, I, I wouldn't say that I, like, I don't go around thinking like I'm in love with my body. I think my body's the greatest body in the world stuff like that. I think if I was to. if I was to start saying that to myself, I think it would be, I just wouldn't believe it. It's just not a place where,

you know, but being just like neutral about my body and just like, you know, it is what it is. Like I'm, it doesn't, it doesn't impact my way in a negative way. It doesn't prevent me from doing the things that I want to do.

And I also, you know, I'm indelusional about like, am I the biggest person in the gym? Like, am I the sheriff? the most treaded person in the gym. Like, am I the talls?

Like, I'm realistic about who I am, but, you know, I don't, uh, berate myself either, which I think, like, there's a lot to be said to being in that kind of neutral position where it's like, you're just unfazed one way or the other. I think,

because a lot of people aren't at that stage and that's actually a huge step to get to. Yeah. And yeah, I'm probably very similar to that now. Like, I just, I just don't really think about it. Like, you know, it's not all about,

you know, telling yourself how great you are all the time. Sometimes it's just being comfortable with who you are. And it's okay that like, you know, I'm like I said, I'm a 41 year old woman. Like I go into the gym and there's like 20 year olds there. I'm not trying to compare to myself to them. I'm just like, this is me. And I'm quite comfortable with that.

Yeah. Yeah. That makes perfect sense. But, yeah. Sorry, sorry, go ahead. Oh, they're just going to say like that's why I post a lot as well on, on my Instagram around showing like a natural body in the gym

like you know I do have cellular I do have stretch marks because that's not I don't feel like that's shown enough as well to be like it's okay to have these things like you don't need to worry about it yeah do you think that like I know you spoke about how like when you were growing up

it was like celebrities and magazines and stuff like that do you think it's even um do you think it's gotten worse in a way in regards to say okay you have social media now where you know young girls can be looking at the like 0.001% of the population who are probably have the best physiques on the planet and you know they have this kind of distorted view that that's what everybody looks

like and you know it's really hard um it's really hard for kind of young girls not to compare themselves to you know these tic-tock models and whoever else it is um so kind of like and even with gym culture as well it's like okay like you had diet culture and you had like tin spo and you had these like you know tiny models who were all on cocaine who you know were not the pinnacle of health and now i think it's kind of it's kind of almost formed in a different way where even like you have like the gym shark models who you know have unbelievable glutes and small waists and you know um these insane like physiques that you know probably people are still aspiring to and probably look at themselves in the mirror and say like oh i i don't look like that

and you know it's probably important that people do show up as themselves and you know show off cellulite and show off the you know the unflattering angles and stuff like that because i i would imagine most kind of young people are having disordered views about what a what a normal body looks like yeah no absolutely agree because yeah at the moment yeah we see this like kind of highlight real of like what fitness or what people think fitness should be i mean i get trolled on my instagram post about my natural body because people go like there's nothing fitness about you you don't look like you work out do you even know how to use the machines in the gym and i'm like people have this real warped view of what you know fitness looks like um because

they see, yeah, the fitness models, the gym shop models. And it's like, well, no, like, not everyone looks like that. And that health shouldn't have like this, I guess, this, like, you know, being ripped and, you know, having no spiziques. Like, it's just not possible for a lot of the population. Yeah. I think, I think a lot of people get confused about what health is, because the people look at people who are shredded and think that's health. And most of the time, like these people are underfed. They've been excessively done. dieting, they're probably on pads. Like, there's, there's nothing

health about them. But, like, that's what now young people probably think the standard is in terms of what your physique should look like. There was actually a, there was a trend going on on TikTok. I was talking about this the other day with someone. And it was like these, these lads

who have been, like, training in the gym for, like, the last 15 years. Just normal people, like, good physiques, like, look well, look in shape. not on steroids or anything like that, just normal lads. And then they would go, this is what a normal, this is what a normal body looks like after 15 years of training.

And they would do the front and the side and the back and stuff like that. And then you had all these like teenage boys who's like reality is warped about what like people should look like. And they're like, do you even lift, bro? I'm going to give you a couple of tips and stuff like that. And like it's like they're, they don't actually understand what a, what a normal healthy body should look like. And I think that's going to be damaging in a couple of years in terms of boys suffering more with muscle dysmorphia and young girls, you know, suffering with obviously eating disorders

and body image issues. Yeah, absolutely. I was literally talking about this in the gym. And Alex and I were talking about it about how, you know, the men's body image issues are becoming, you know, even more prevalent right now, especially with like, you know, this, like, like, you said, like with the men's body image issues are becoming, you know, even more prevalent right now, like with the muscles and like looking a certain way as well, which is scary for me, because then I saw what happened with my generation in the diet culture.

But then that's even coming back because talking about TikTok, the skinny talk is a whole thing that's happening right now on TikTok, where these kind of diet culture sayings are coming back, which is pretty scary. I did like a reel on it the other day, because it's like, oh, we can't go back to this. This is like, you know, we've seen the damage that this is done. we don't want to go back there. So yeah, it's scary to see how this is happening on these platforms at the moment. That's my, I haven't seen that yet, but I actually, I actually don't use

TikTok. I tried to stay away from it as much as possible, but like sometimes I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll go on just kind of see what the, the culture of, of young people is like. Still try, try to keep a little bit of relevance, but, um, yeah, that, that's pretty much worrying it. So it seems just swing around and roundabouts, don't they? Yeah, absolutely. But, yeah, I'm just saying I try to stay off TikTok, but people bring this stuff to my attention. And I'm like, I'll go go and check it out. As someone who obviously being a content creator is part of the job of your coaching because, you know, you want the people that you want to help, they obviously, there needs to be a voice

out there so they can resonate and then come towards you asking for help and stuff like that. So my question would be, well, like, what's your relationship with social media like as a content creator and as a business owner? How do you kind of navigate that? because I know it can be difficult for a lot of coaches. Yeah, it is. And obviously, like, I absolutely really do enjoy creating content because I see it as I want to be the voice that I didn't have

when I was young. And it took me a long time. Like I said, I struggled with my mental health and being extremely shy, always, like, worried about what other people thought and stuff as well. So for me to be able to now have this confidence, to have this voice, like I see it as like a privilege that I can talk about this stuff. and that like why I get excited about it I think because I'm like I feel like I can talk about this and I want to stand up for you know I guess for for for for me my younger self when I couldn't yeah 100% so that's how I view it and in terms of that like obviously do you ever feel pressure to kind of look or act a certain way when it comes to social media expectations because I know there will be kind of this tension between what social media wants and what the algorithm

once and then obviously people's people's own values in terms of the message they're trying to put across yeah with regards to like how I show up and it's like I tell you now all those videos that I do in the gym are me first thing in the morning I've got no makeup on I've been brush my hair so I just like I'm literally taking reels of myself like how I how I usually am I've stopped caring I'm just like that's what I'm selling is showing like you know your real self so why would I try like I try not to perform and things if that makes sense. But that's why a lot of my content is zero

because it's just me in my day to day. But yeah, sorry, what was the other part of the question? Yeah, no, I think, I think you've pretty much to answer in terms of like showing up as yourself, which, like, it's a funny thing because people feel like they need to perform on social media for an audience. And like the minute you actually get comfortable with just being yourself and showing up as yourself. Like it's when people actually gravitate towards you. Yeah, absolutely. And that's what I get a lot of when people, when I talk to people on Instagram, they're like, you're just yourself and I like

it. I'm like, well, yeah, I'm not. And again, I think from my own journey, like, I struggled with who I was and my identity. So it's like, well, why am I going to try and be anyone else? Now I've worked so hard to get to this point. Like, I'm not going to try and perform or try to anyone. Like, I've gone through that and I'm not doing it. I mean, yeah. And that's how I want my clients to feel. I want them to feel empowered to be themselves, whatever that looks like to them.

Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, can I ask you three more questions? So what's one belief about health and fitness you wish more women would unlearn, if that makes sense? So what's one belief about health and fitness you wish more women would unlearn? That's a good question. I guess this belief that we always have to be on a diet or restrictive diet like diets or always having to lose weight.

Like it doesn't have to be that way. You can just, you know, live a balanced lifestyle and be happy. Yeah. And why do you think people fall into that trap because they think that, you know, if they don't go on a diet, then they're not going to look a certain way and then they're not going to be happy. So they tie their, they're almost a tie in their self-worth to maybe the weight on the number on the scales or how they perceive they're going to look from, you know, people. Yeah, absolutely. Like, they tie their worth to their weight, like what it says on the scales and dress sizes and things like that. It's always numbers. It's always numbers that are tying themselves to it. It doesn't have to be that way. And if you could go back to yourself 10 years ago, what would you tell her?

Oh, this is always a good question. What would I tell her? What would I be 31? So, yeah, it'd be, keep working on yourself because it will get better. And you were in the process of working on yourself then at that time? Yeah, that was definitely when I got more into the mindset side and like the inner work was in my 30th.

So as a business, sound around a coach what advice would you give to kind of people who are starting off that journey um as a like starting off coaching business or do you mean starting off like yeah um so yeah when i when i started my coaching business it wasn't as in depth as like it was now with the mindset side i had to explore that so i always like say it's okay to like um you know experiment explore and find out exactly what you really want to help people with. Like there's no shame with changing things to see, you know, what resonates with you and what you get passionate about. And what advice would you give to kind of Becky, who, let's say, was at the kind of depths of her, you know, body image issues and struggling with her relationship

with field. What advice, if you were to have a coaching call with her, what would you say? Yeah. So, oh, where would I, where would I start with this one? These questions are always going to always make this thing. Yeah. I have to put myself back in that sheet. I'm like, where was I at that point? I would probably say, you know, it's, it's okay to feel what you're feeling right now, but just keep walking forward, keep focusing on the next step, and each day it will get better. you might not be able to see the bigger picture right now.

But if you keep walking, you'll get there. It's difficult, isn't it? It's like when you just don't, like when you're feeling miserable, it's very hard to see a stage of your life where you don't feel like that. Yeah, absolutely. Like when you're in the thick of it, I used to call it like the ditch of doom or that I was like in a forest, like with loads of trees and I just couldn't see the way out. like so it's just someone sometimes having someone to guide you

just walk that path and show you the way out well that's that's the beauty of coaching isn't it's like if you have a client who you know is feeling like that who's you know struggling with you know being preoccupied by food or constantly uh belitting belitting themselves in terms of how they look and picking themselves apart and like you know we're very much we all have our blind spots even though no like we can see the positives in other people or we can see how well other people are doing, it's very difficult for us to, to be that for ourselves. So like having someone who can be like, okay, well, you know, what are the, what are the positives of this week? What have you done well? Like, being able to kind of force you into focusing on, on the good and the,

the things that you enjoy about yourself and about your life, like, because that does take kind of mental, a mental push by someone else or just a nudge in the right direction. And, I think that's what, what having a coach is, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, someone there to like just say like, yeah, I understand that and then help guide you. Like I say to my clients, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I'm going to help guide you. I'm going to help guide you. I'm going to help guide you to get to your own answers. Because I might not know them right now, but it can help you get there. Yeah. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Like you can't tell people what to do. That just doesn't work. And that's not the, that's not the role of a coach. A role of the coach is to kind of be there to help kind of create a path or like, you know, and. And, you know, and. Nudge in the right direction, but ultimately it's up for the person to walk down that path. Yeah, absolutely. And then Becky, last question that I'll ask you then. So what do you think is the most rewarding part of your work right now?

I get so excited when I see my clients have a breakthrough. Like when they send me like when I have their checking forms and I ask the non-numeric wins every week. like I said, nothing in my coaches based on numbers. So it's all very like what they feel. When they've told me like, oh, I went out on the weekend and I ate out with my friends and I didn't feel guilty. Or I wore the clothes that I'd been wanting to wear for ages and I felt amazing. Like those little things about how they're feeling and actually how they're showing up

for themselves every single day, that like brings me so much joy to watch people go through that. Yeah. It's true. It's you're improving the quality of their actual lives. It's like now I can actually go out and enjoy myself and like, be. present with my partner or my friends or go out and have a drink and not be worried about the calories knowing that you know I will be fine I'm like I live a healthy

lifestyle and like I can I can have both things I can I can pursue health and fitness and also pursue having a life without you know being obsessive about things yeah absolutely and that's what I say to them I'm like I want you to enjoy life like you you know you don't want to be trapped in a cycle forever where all you're like do you want to look back on your life and feel like all I'm stressing about was what I made, how I looked, what I was eating. No, you want to be enjoying those memories. And you can really do that if you're fully present in that moment.

Yeah, 100%. Becky, if people wanted to reach out and ask any questions or they wanted to inquire about coaching, or maybe it's just someone who is kind of struggling with their relationship of food at the moment, struggling with body image, wants a better quality of life, doesn't really know where to start, constantly on a diet, and kind of wants to get off that kind of yo-yo dieting cycle

because what they've been doing just hasn't been working. Where can they reach out to find you? Instagram is best ways to get hold of me and that's the underscore Empower underscore coach. Okay, amazing. Well, Becky, thank you so much for the conversation today. I'm going to leave everything in the show notes and if anyone wants to reach out,

they can just go in there, click on the link, and then they'll be directed to your page. Becky, thank you today for this conversation. Thank you, Sweden-Beezy.