The Uneducated PT Podcast - 🎙 Episode 93 — From Rock Bottom to Rising Up: The Journey of Paddy D Kelly

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

In this powerful and deeply human episode of The Uneducated PT Podcast, I sit down with the raw and real Paddy D Kelly — a man who has walked through addiction, battled weight gain, built a platform through content creation, and come out the other side with hard-earned wisdom.We dive into the real-life struggles your listeners might be facing right now the weight of self-doubt, the noise of social media, and the loneliness that can follow even public success.Paddy speaks from experience, with honesty, humor, and hope, sharing the lessons he’s learned not just in recovery, but in rebuilding his life from the ground up. Expect insights on:Breaking free from addiction and shameTransforming your body without losing your mindCreating content with purpose (not just for the algorithm)Mental health, self-worth, and what true success actually looks likeWhether you’re in the trenches or trying to find your way out, this one’s for you.Paddy doesn’t hold back — and you won’t want to miss a word.

All right, welcome back to the uneducated PT podcast. We have the handsome Patty on today. Patty, I wanted to start off this podcast by, well, obviously I want to go into things like addiction, social media, navigating social media, a little bit on weight loss and the and the dynamics and the struggles of weight gain and weight loss as well. But maybe can we just start off the podcast by giving the listeners a little bit of context in terms of, you know, your background and how you ended up working in the fitness industry and So I always start off any podcast or any introduction by how I introduce myself five times a week in rooms for an hour and I say hello my name's Patty and I'm an addict.

So as I say my name is Patty. I'm an addict in 29. I got into the background on myself as the fitness industry. Let's tie this into one. Would have been very, would have been very, what's the word? like very loud, very, like very loud, very boisterous, very, like almost positively obnoxious growing up, but it was all like as many people in Ireland. Like it's a, it's a mask to hide the deep shame, deep insecurity of my body, my, my, my achievements.

You know, one thing I always heard in life was in school reports was like he has so much potential. I fucking hate that phrase so much. Oh my God. So back when I was like 20, 21, I was. I went to treatment for drug addiction and that's only really when I saw my full potential and what I could do in a year

less than year I'd lost 40 kilos through some good means or some like some good dieting means some also bad dieting means was training got super into training super into running wanted to help

I felt great and this is one thing like I'm huge on like I didn't feel great because I lost weight. Yeah, it was a benefit of it, like, of course. But I felt great because I fucking did something for it that I could never imagine myself doing. And that's one thing I think people, like, I'll be happier when I'm skinnier type job

is one thing I'm huge on. And then COVID hit, was doing one-to-one, got onto online coaching, zoomed. Do you know, I was plastered, plastered all over those, like, fitness mentorships of like, Patty's done online coaching in two months and he's gone from zero to 10K in two months.

Yeah, you know, that crack. Of course, at the time I was super proud and I still am super proud, but it's also super fucking toxic as well. Yeah, when you take it back on it, you don't realize when you're in it, but when you think back on it, you're like... But that's the thing, when you're in it,

when you're in it, it's just like, for me anyway, I can relate it to it. It's just a little bump. You know, it's a little bump of just like validation, little bump is dopamine, a little dope of serotonin, like, you know, so... Then, yeah, moved to Dublin. I hated Dublin.

Move back to Galway. And when I moved back to Galway, that's when the kind of like this phase of my life, the last phase of my life started and ended around February, March of this year. By the way, I just have to say Galway is far nicer than Dublin. I don't know why you moved to Dublin over Galway, but anyway. I moved to Dublin strictly because down here it was like, oh, when you do your leaving service, you have to go to.

Trinity and then you have to move to South Dublin so I was like didn't do my fucking leaving search sorry I didn't see I didn't finish college but I have like I have a six-figure business cut like one year when everyone else in their third year university I'm moving to Dunmere yeah yeah that was literally the the mentality I had like so yeah you but you've made it when you've moved to the Dublin when I moved to when I moved to Honey Parkins in Donnery that's what I made um could you so so that makes that makes perfect sense and uh we'll go into even the the journey of I really like that point in terms of you like you felt better

due to the process of doing all these great things and then and then weight loss actually became a byproduct of that versus actually weight loss was was the thing that was going to be the pinnacle of your happiness and and fulfillment um but can you share a little bit more about the journey of addiction so like um what did your life look like and when did you realize that you know it was a problem and then you had to go into recovery because being 21 in recovery because being 21 in is very, it's very early into your life. And obviously that, that, that takes a lot of probably awareness at that age and, or, or, or like, we'll speak about it in terms of rock bottom.

Yeah. So one thing, like just one, on two things there. When I came into recovery and I came back to Galway from treatment, I was going to rooms where the next youngest person was like 35, 37, you know? Yeah. Now I'm going to rooms. And there's people who are like, I remember St. Paddy's Day I went to a meeting. There was a 15-year-old girl who rocked up to an AA meeting.

So it's getting younger and younger. It's getting more vicious and vicious. It's getting more just like, particularly with the younger generations of just like, I don't know, fitting in. Oh, it's terrible. Anyways. So addiction, right? There's one thing. There's a huge caveat to this that not many people understand.

It really bothers me, but it used to. really make me angry and I used to think people were ignorant when they said it but it's it's literally just it's literally just a blissful ignorance it's like it's through a lack of education addiction isn't the personality trait you like you don't have an addictive personality it's it's actually classified as a mental illness addiction so with most mental illnesses you're born with them they just kind of like exacerbate through life through trauma through all these thing. So when I was young, okay, when I was, was young, I can look back to my whole life and see, like, addicting, addictive, addictive habits were present in my life from as early as the age of, like,

three or four years old, okay? Whether they were harmful, destructive or not, they were there. Like, like, Lego was one. Like, it would, like, I would spend hours and hours and hours. Like, my dad, he's had one memory, he's like, you, you, you won. woke up at like 5 a.m. one morning, just like one Saturday after, one Saturday morning and you were not, you didn't move until 11 p.m. This is like a five-year-old kid, you know? And like through, I can remember the back pain, like having back pain as a five-year-old from leaning over and then and I just playing with Lego like, you know, crazy. So it's, it's a mental, it's a mental illness addiction. And it's, it can be generation. It can be generation. It can be generation. There's loads of people have pains on it. It skips generations, this, that, sometimes it doesn't. So I won't go into any of my, any familial, but it runs in my family. So in, as I said, when I was younger, I was very confident, very happy.

And the first huge problem with food, with the addiction I have was food. It's the most common one. It's seen as the least destructive. There's people I know who I can fully tell is like this person is an addict, but they will never assume that they're an addict, they'll probably go their whole life without it because they, you know, their means to, to let their disease pass through them is something non-destructive as food. Okay. So it's like, but like when the addicts, when the active addict is rife, they're very destructive people. So these people can have caused destruction and havoc their

whole life and it's because they don't know how to deal with emotions to eat food. They don't know how to, they are unfamiliar with this feeling, they don't like it, so they will look through means to calm those emotions feeling, self-talk beliefs. For me it was food

and then it quickly turned to like video games. Younger, younger years as a young man in Ireland, masturbation, porn. Huge, not huge, you're not allowed to talk about them. Well, you're not, you are allowed to talk about them, but like, you know, it's more like,

It was like that post you put up about the education right between girls and boys like you can't talk about it, people kind of look at you like this and then a huge majority of people don't give a fuck enough to get involved but they will say oh it's terrible do you know? So that makes

these you know as an addict anyway you feel ostracized who would agree. Video games is a huge one for better for us the amount of arguments I had with my parents over like them trying to curb how much time I spent playing video games, which naturally leads to arguments, which leads to fights, which leads to, and these arguments in fights, they lead to

deterioration of relationships and this, that, and the other. And there's one thing with an addict is like, as soon as you try and take away the high, like, everyone's seen movies, everyone's seen like, you know, breaking bad. It's, you know, I'm not comparing video games, like, lessening time of your video games to, like, a heroin. heroin thing, but like it is, it's recovering from heroin, but it's like we act out, we become the monster per se. And I remember sitting in school being like, I'll never smoke, I'll never drink, I'll never do drugs. No, I might drink, I will drink, I'll never smoke, I'll never do drugs, and I think, God,

I had my first drink, this, this says it all, like, you know, this, I had my first drink at 16 years old. It was actually quite a late bloomer for someone in Ireland. Yeah. but it was two nags yeah yeah you made up for it yeah I made up for it and I remember just that first night

and like I'm sitting here on a podcast talking about health and fitness and I am going to bait on it because that's just I need wanting like and I was looking back in that in life and just being like it was so excessive from the first time it wasn't like one or two WKD Blues

you know this that it was like two nags of Hussar and screaming at the girl I fancy just like why the fuck do you fancy my mates and not me, you know. That just gives me trouble of being a teenager again. Yeah, yeah, that was awful.

And then just like early ages, like school show, it's a week-long show, I'm barricading myself in my room and sneaking out the window because my parents only wanted me let out one night, whereas I'm like, nope, I had my bed, the whole furniture of the room piled up against the door, and I was sleeping on the floor next to it. I could have just slept on the bed.

Just things like that, do you know, there's the, that's when addiction, like I couldn't deal with anything else. I couldn't face life, Carl, I could not face life. I would look at, like, how do I say this? How do I explain something to an, like, okay, I, it, when you go out on Friday night or Thursday night and you could have, like, you could go out Wednesday night, have three or three pines to get up for work the next day.

Okay, that sentence to me in my head, I get two plus two is five. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't make sense. I don't understand how people do that. I could maybe have two or three. Maybe. I would just not be up for work the next day. I'd sit in bed the whole night thinking about who could I text to get up right now so we can use.

And who can I, who can I go and this that? And it's just like this massive snowball. And it's affecting more and more people in Ireland. And it's tough. Fast forward a couple of years, uni. arts in Goldway, 14 hour a week course. You know,

40 hours a week spent in the pub. Yeah, I was about saying. I was about saying a lot of time to do extracts of these, basically. This is, and this is, there's actually, this is the saddest thing I can remember from my years is, in arts NUIG, you can do psychology as an arts degree. If you finish in the top 100 or 150,

you can do psychological studies, still an arts degree. If you finish in the top 50, you can get, you can move straight to a science degree of psychology. I finished in the top 50, which means like,

I got my 305 point leave-ins here and could go into a 550 course. I turned it down because of the course hours. Yeah. Which is fucked. Yeah. Which is, and now I want to go back

and study psychology, you know? So, like, it's, it's, that's just the mind of it. It's destructive. It's like a self-sabotage. But you can, like, I would imagine, imagine you can you could go to war with yourself thinking of all the things you could have done or should have done in that time i i've

i can and in early recovery you do i just forgive myself now yeah uh like i just forgive myself do you know i can sit there sometimes and be like fuck you fucked up this that when it's like look it's you were sick yeah yeah you're sick man that's it self acceptance is a very difficult but necessary process i imagine. Step one is, step one in the 12th step says we have cramped to the realization that we are totally powerless and our lives have become unmanageable over the use of alcohol. Once you accept that is like self-ex, it's the toughest thing to accept because it's like your thing. The one thing that makes you confident that makes you talk to women that can that can get you out of the house, that can make you talk to people on night out that's like quiet people use drink just to talk,

you know, like that thing that has helped you, you think, accepting that your life is now fucked because of it is the toughest thing. Once you do, life gets a lot easier, do you know? And I would imagine in that time, therapy probably was a big part of this, was it? So, oh God, I think before I went to treatment, I had seen, I'd say every specialist in the country. Really? for anger, for depression, for anxiety.

I was on antidepressants at the age of 15, 16. Just so many. But then as soon as I went to treatment, I don't think I'd seen a specialist until I started this job. And this job, this job has triggered a lot of old feelings, beliefs. and self-beliefs, whether true or not, about myself that would have been totally overcome in, like, my first two years of recovery. So, and this job is inherently super addictive.

And we get into that in the social media, I kind of related into the social media part we talk about just like, like, when I was getting three male views, I wasn't sitting there being like, this is great. I've really worked hard for this. I'm like, give me more. Give me more. And that's that, like, that almost dark, if you've seen those movies where there's like, a demon and he's just screaming more. That's honestly like what a, the most accurate way I can represent it.

It's not fun. It's pressure. It's fear based. Any success I've had in life has not come from, has come from ambition, but has been fueled by fear and fueled by, you know, lack of self-work and this, that and the other.

And now that like I've dealt with those in this next phase in my life, I'm far less achievement orientative. Yeah. Because it's just not being fueled, which is another separate. issue I have to tackle now that's such a difficult thing though isn't it because there's always going to be this push and pull between like the carrot and the stick it's like I want to do this for a better life but it's also because I'm not

good enough and yeah again in any domain of any success whether it is weight loss whether it is being a content creator whether it is being a business owner it's like well like why are you doing this are you doing this because you're not enough are you doing this because you know you I don't know want a better life or enjoy the process or get fulfillment from the yeah the day today and I think there's always an element of bow isn't there always always it's it there always is and it's it's it's almost frustrating as an addicts because it goes against the 12 steps the program we live by to do things based on fear and thing whereas for a civilian we call you guys civilians um

it's it's like it's not as well i don't know i don't know i can't say it's as damaging because i'm not a civilian but it seems like you guys can just accept that get on with it and like still go do the thing and then once you get the thing you're super happy once we get the thing it's like what's next this has not made me feel it's like all like

what's one thing um yeah like you've had it I've had it clients who lose like 20 30 kilos and it's just like their whole life has changed but it's not enough and that's it's so inherent I just need to lose another kilo

then I'll be it's so inherently sad, you know? There's one person, I know you're going to make my ace the blues, potts is unbelievable in that line of thinking. I look at some of the stuff and I'm like, I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous.

You can not think like that, because I think like that, but like, be driven by that, you know? Yeah. So, yeah. What do you wish people understand, understood more about addiction and recovery? This one's

about addiction and recovery. If you have someone in your life, that's, that's 100% struggling with addiction. Trying, and this sounds a bit wishy-washy, but as soon as my family accepted it, it's like it made everything so much easier. It's not actually them that's like doing all of this stuff. It is like a voice in their head

that like just completely takes over their actions, their habits, their intuitions and this, that and the other. Like I've had someone in my life recently relapse and like they were doing all the right things the suggested work everything and it was literally just one one lapse of

it was just like one lapse of constant not even concentration of like on guard against the voice in your head it won and they have so much clean time anyway they've loads of work still done put into their their mind and their mindset put so much clean time gone. So, you know, go easy on them.

Never fight them. If you want someone to get help and you're like fighting about it, don't fight them about it. They won't work. The worst, the best thing you can do is just pull back completely. Like completely, like air the messages.

I know, I know sometimes you'll sit there and you'll worry like, are they even safe? Are they alive? I haven't heard from this. That just, just, you know. I had a lad called Sean on from from America and he he was talking about addiction as well this was about 30 episodes ago and he was saying that the best thing that his father ever did for him was to just throw him out

of the house and not because not because he didn't love him or anything like that it's because he wasn't going to force him to go and get help and the best thing that he could do by showing him that he loved him was not to because he can't he your man Sean kept saying that I always knew that I had you know whatever I did I always knew that I had an like I had my my dad to come and fix things or to to get me out of the the whatever trouble that I put myself into and which was helping to basically feed his addiction and even though it felt like cruelty it was actually yeah yeah yeah it's like the first thing you said was he didn't come he kicked him out of the house not because he loved him he actually kicked him out of the house

because he loved it. Exactly, yeah. And that's, that's, that's it. Like, you know, and the sad reality of that is, and like, that's what I want people to understand is, like, you just have to cut them out. The sad reality of it is sometimes people will get help and sometimes won't. And even if, like, the unmanageable, the unthinkable happens

where that person either is no longer with you from that, the disease. Like, you did the right thing. There'll be so much, they'd have so much blame on themselves. Oh much guilt and blame. Yeah. But you did, that's one thing. Like the nuns, everyone I was in treatment with. Like I had their, everyone in treatment with recovery.

Like I have, there's, I want, I won't go. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of what I do, so I won't reveal names. But there's a part, there's a member who I know or knew. And he was in recovery. And so it was his son. And his son kept going in and out. And of all people he understood. and he still had to cut out said person

and sadfully like the unthinkable happened you know and you know he harbors no guilt or shame about it because he knows he did the right thing but like

a lot of work has to be done to get to that stage I'd imagine that stage yeah but even yeah even so like with all the work he's to like you know your son killer killer like

that's such a great point though is like separate and the person from the addiction. Yeah. Which I'd imagine is a really difficult thing. Did it change? Going through that process and going through then the recovery process, did it change the dynamics of your relationships, like the agenda popping to lose friends

or cut out different circles or and find a new people in new circles or were you able to maintain relationships with people? Obviously, you're able to maintain a relationship with your family. Yeah. Was there a change in dynamics that you noticed? So we're highly, highly manipulative people. Like there's oftentimes only through step 10, which is, step 10 is what we've been doing since the 1960s,

or the 19th, the 60s, 50s. It's now very popular in just like the form of reflection at the end of the day, journaling or just that and the other. Like we, it's the most spiritual foundation of what we do. So I realize like we're highly manipulative, people. I'm so good at making friends. I'm so good at making friends. I'm also very good at like, you know, someone messaged me on Instagram there recently and they're like, like, I followed you and I really liked you and then I really didn't like you. And then I like you again. And then I didn't

like you again, you know? And I read that and I was like, well, yeah, that's either like, you know, you were seeing me or you were seeing the addicts and thing. And like, it's subconsciously there. But yeah, there's one thing I realize is through my act of addiction, I was so good at making acquaintances and I was so bad at making friends. And when I came out of treatment and I got my phone, no phone for 30 days. Probably the most healing process anyone can do, no phone for 30 days. I would love to do it. Sadly, in the job we do, we just can't.

I came out, I spent my 22nd birthday in treatment and I had six, six texts. And I had two from people who weren't. not my friends who I did not like and they wished me happy birthday and I had four asking was I looking um so six people checked in on me and four of them are dealers and now I had my really good friends ring me while I was in there so I like you know I leave that off but I had two people who I wasn't didn't consider that close wish me happy birthday directly like through text message loads of the Facebook bullshit but you know but I have four people where you look and so when I came out of treatment, I didn't do the right things. I was still going to pubs. I wasn't drinking.

I was still going to like afters because I didn't want my life to change. I was still going afters and pre-drinks where like boys are doing ketamine right in front of me and I'm like nine red bulls deep and, you know, and quickly I realized I couldn't do that. And so then once I stopped going to those, I think I had, I was in like I had 15 to 20 people that I would talk to daily. and it quickly went down to three. And, yeah, I was living at home. I had to move out of the house for reasons due to recovery. Moved in with my older brother.

Got a really good relationship with him. Got a job. Got promoted in that job within three months. And then another six months I got promoted to a manager of another cafe that I was in. And then that was in town. so I had to move into actually this house. A couple of years ago with my other brother. I was living here for two years until I moved to Dublin.

So the dynamic with my family was I never wanted to be around them before. And then I just always wanted them as like around me. Always through that, I found that I am a home bird. I love Galway. I love being surrounded by my family. I love talking to them every day, even though they wreck my heads as everyone's family does. but the dynamic change from just being like they are a means for to get out of trouble to they are

the means that I can you know give back to them and they can give to me and we can have a harmonious symbiotic relationship of you know actions habits love and and and just like social account social accountability but also just like leaving all of that aside it goes down as simple as I want them around me and they want me around that. Yeah, yeah, there doesn't need to be a transaction. Oh, no. It's just I, I enjoy being around me. Yeah. Yeah. I was just, I was asking that question, just because I was even talking about this the other day in terms of personal growth and, you know, how personal growth can be quite a lonely journey because whether it's, you're going on a, a weight loss journey and, you know, you need to maybe dissociate with the people that, you know,

don't really have your best, um, you don't really support you in the way that they, need to or like there's there's always there always can be some sort of a little bit of a pullback between you know the people that you're surrounding yourself with yeah and then like it's it's it's very it's very it's it becomes very obvious after years of not being obvious that oh these people actually might not have my best interest at heart or they might not I'm not I might not be as close to these people as I thought I was because now I'm kind of staring away from this crowd to something else that I want and and and I'm not

actually getting the support that I need. And I think that can come in in all ways, whether it's recovery, and it's having a personal business goal, whether I'm having a personal, you know, body composition goal, whether it's just some sort of self-development in your life in some way where, all right,

I'm not actually, I'm not feeding what this person wants anymore, and now they're dissociating with me. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Like, yeah, I mean, the, The only other people I know that experienced this to the degree, because I've experienced it, is our job. Like, the amount of people I don't talk to from early days of online coaching to now is criminal.

Because, I mean, like, you might under, like, there's so much value-based friendships. It's like, what can I offer you? What can you offer me? And, like, some people I thought it was not a value-based friendship and, like, are now no longer around is like it's it's it's shocking with addiction it's it's like a it's a how do I say this I don't know the word for it but it was like I'm gonna be my most truest addict self around you because you don't you won't judge me and like I can hoff you know 20 bags in front of you and you can do like seven, eight or nine

and neither of us will judge each other will just like be be fucking miserable around each other you know? Yeah, that's that is the transaction between that's the transaction. That was the value of that friendship, yeah. Yeah, that's interesting.

I wanted to talk you about this, the rock bottom piece that I absolutely loved. I'm just going to quote it a little bit for the listeners as well. So focusing on the 2% you're not doing stops you appreciating the 98% you are doing. Then that 98% becomes 80% 65 50 25 until you lose it all rock bottom a place i found myself twice in life and it sucks

so good to the people who um are listening to this who who might feel that they're at rock bottom in their life um who can't see things getting better and who don't see a way out is there any advice that you would have for them from your own experiences um one day i'm two things I'm so happy you picked out that quote because I was a quote that said to me just the first part. The rest of it I've just through experience in life, that quote changed my life. Secondly, I've never been quoted like that. And the way you said it made me feel super important. So thank you for that.

Look, like anyone feels there are a rock bottom. I was actually at a meeting last night and there's a thing in addiction and recovery that says, true change happens when you're at rock bottom, which you might hear in the PT world of like, you know, you will only experience change when you've suffered enough pain. And I don't know if I fully agree with that statement. I don't think that has to be the case. I think it is a lot of the time. It doesn't have to be.

But it is a lot of the time. If you're at rock bottom, fuck. Reach out. You know, just tell someone. Like I had one of the worst days, probably the second worst day in my life in February. like three people showed up for me you know and i if they didn't show up if like god i'm super big on god at the minute whatever of my own understanding i don't know what it's like i'm not religious and very spiritual you know i believe that those people were free at the time and this all that like

i believe that was meant to be just like reach out if it's you know reach out challenge yourself like i'm i'm about to you know i was i was sick this morning and i'm trying i'm very forgetful of times. So I'm sick this morning. So I like didn't check my schedule. Completely forgot I had this on, even though I booked it yesterday, bit frazzled, made plans with my friend for coffee at one at half one. I'm like, fuck, I have a podcast. So I'm telling him, I need to cancel with him. He's like, don't worry, bro. I'm used to. I'm like, fuck, bro. And then, you know, the girl I'm seeing was given out to me. And like, you need to get better on reminders and this. That's so like, a challenge I have to do it myself is like take accountability for that. And I'm going to go an

apologize to him and like tell her she's right even though I got a little bit like who are you to tell me like you know and challenge yourself like um you know observe your behaviors uh I normally go and get a cinnamon bun and a coffee for my breakfast as well as a protein shake and I was a little not peeved off about those conversations but I was a little I was definitely just like little tense because like fuck everyone so instead of that I got two cinnamon buns all behavior kicking in like you know um be you are only through like years of failure that I've recognized these right so if you're at rock bottom reach out like be sorry but not because like yes because you want to help but also be sorry because you're fucking sorry um you know there's one thing I learned in life is that sorry being sorry and making amends are two completely different things um I had to learn that the hard way this here the really hard way um and if you're at rock bottom reach out say to someone and it's it's so frustrating because I know you're huge on this I'm huge and it probably not as vocal as you but huge on it just because like you know and it's I don't

even go down to young men anymore I do say it as young people in Ireland it's just like the refusal to say how you really feel is shocking you know because if you're a man you can't say it because you you risk you looking sensitive or soft or or feminine and as a woman to say how you really feel it's like, oh, she's, she's a disaster. She's emotional. She can't hold herself together, this, that, and the other. And it's like, it's like, do you know, boys? We've been shamed almost to need other people. Yeah, yeah, big time.

And like, this is like, yeah, shamed to need other people. People are the greatest thing, the greatest gifts the world has. Whether they're awful people or good people, the amount of lessons and experience and strength and hope you can get from a good person and a bad person is absolutely, insane. People are the greatest gift on the planet. You know, quickly followed behind you know, ice cream pizza and coffee.

But like people are just, that's why I'm in the industry. Like I'm in the job I am. You earn the job you do. It's because they're so good. Like there's no shame in needing people ever. Like my circles are small. And like I've had to lean on my circle a lot recently. And when you have to lean on people, you know, they will get fictitious and they will be like,

dude like it's been months fucking sort this out and I'm like I know I'm fucking this and you got to take that on the chin and just be like it has been months you've got to fucking sort it out in the past over the last seven years my circle have leaned on me a lot like you know so there's no shame and even people my best mate luke um you know my best mate luke has been probably god in human incarnate form for me for the last little while just like whenever i needed him showed up whenever I needed help did it without asking and just like my dad my dad man Jesus like there's no shame and just like saying how you feel and I had a conversation with my dad that like reduced us both to tears and like but if it did if it

didn't happen nothing would have changed you know yeah what in terms of like you said that you you hit rock bottom twice in your life and I think there I think the misconception for people is that like you get out a hole and you start to build momentum again. And then it's, you know, it's an upward trajectory and life's good and life's got to continue to get good. And then people realize I got hit with another blow or something happened. And then like you said, you know, I focused on the 2% that was wrong. And then, you know, more things went wrong and more things went wrong and more things went

wrong. And, you know, as much as we can spiral upwards in life, we can also spiral downwards as well. And I think that happens for. lot of people in many domains of their life. Yeah. So my first, this could be very long and convoluted story, but it's, it's, first one is very simple. My rock bottom was, you know,

just for like the last couple months of my using, there was, I was really suffering with sleep paralysis. And there was, I don't know if you've ever experienced it, but the man was standing at the end of my bed. My man had like a big wide-brimmed hat. And like, he had this big, like, almost, um, leg doctor knows and I could only see the tip of his nose every night for months he got closer to

my bed couldn't move and like the answer to get rid of it was more drugs and wasn't showing up to college I wasn't using every day this thing I was not like this is my mindset was I'm not going to be one of those people on the side of the street or like drinking every day like I'm just going to like do it with other people so I would like do use or drink three four times a week but I would the other three or four days I would just sit in my house curtains drawn in my my in my boxers playing video games on first name basis with the Apache Pizza Driver, right? You know? My rock bottom was the last night, not the last night I used, but the last night of me being like,

okay, I need help because I used a couple times after that, but it was never the same. Because I knew I was going to treatment. He was standing at the end of my bed. If I used to close my eyes, you used to see demonic tiki masks just spinning. And the last night, he took a step closer. And he smiled. And I woke up, never seen him again. It was texting my friend Edwina, who I credit with saving my life.

This big, long, like, just drug-fueled anxiety thing for, it was five hours of texting. I didn't stop texting for five hours. She woke up and was like, I'm going to get back to this. on my break. And I said, don't worry, that's just the drug's talking, disregard at all. She messaged me straight away,

and she's like, no, you're not like your friends. You've a better head on your shoulders and getting emotional to think about it. You've a better head on your shoulders. We're going to get you help. And I went and it was Valentine's Day, rag week all the way.

You know, I only made it to the Tuesday of that rag week because I started the Thursday before. Valentine's Day is my dad's birthday I went out to my mum and dad's house I looked rough it was my dad's birthday dinner they were like we'll speak tomorrow and I was like yeah and I just sat there and I was like I have a cocaine problem and never forget it my dad's like Jesus Patty I thought you smoked

a little bit of weed you know that was that one then walking into treatment at 21 nine days before my 22nd birthday and just think like how the fuck have you gotten here and then life spiraled up

because I started focusing on the next step, not the 100%, I've photos on the next percent. When the second rock bottom is a culmination over two years, and I didn't realize it until this year. I was back, I was with my girlfriend of four years. We were, I had good friend Barry McGuire, Barry's Bods on Instagram, had told me about a little course called The Social Circle. got into that

was making five videos a day from fear because I needed to be successful I need to be successful you know Sean still says to the stage like no one has matched Paddy's level of like output for those eight weeks he was just like

35 videos a week is unheard of and I would go to and this is out addiction I would go walk to the gym was an hour walk film five walk and talks go to the gym film five to ten videos walk back five to ten walk and talks that's 20 20 videos edited filmed in two in like in in in three

hours you know and then we'll just edit them and edit them and just do that going to bed eventually blew up the big like it was the biggest line of coke I ever got yeah was going from you know 5k followers to 10 in a week and then 10 to 20 overnight and then 20 to 100 and then 100 to 400 and 2 yeah And then it stopped. And it was like the worst year and a half come down. I have ever had. I sacrificed friendships, relationships. I poured money into like mental performance coaches to help to figure out what was going

wrong to figure out I could manage this. Like business was still fine. This is the thing. Like I was. It wasn't about business. It was about you needed the high of continuing. but I wanted the high of like 10 grand

going into my stripe account every week this is the thing like it went from and I'll use these numbers because I've no shame in them it's not bragging it's me like taking accountability that 10 became like eight so it wasn't enough and that eight became like seven and a half

and that like 500 quid drop weekly two grand a month like it destroyed me whereas like now I'm just like doing nowhere near these numbers and I'm perfectly like so much happier. But like this those like focusing on that one percent drop made me lose another 10 percent of just like a way that not in cash but just like input of my life focusing on that but I lost the input of my life because I would just sit in my couch

in Salt Hill where there's an indentation still on the couch of where I used to sit and just like rot watching telly saying the most horrible shit to myself daily wouldn't get back to clients, wouldn't do anything. You know I couldn't film video. because I could not face a video not doing like 100K views and then couldn't face it doing 70 and now my videos is doing like 8 and I'm like oh man I'm just like

like my whole thing about making videos now is not as a fear of like numbers it's just like I hate filming now you know I hate social media so it led to me watching TV again just for hours playing video games spending so much time on my phone and these things just led me

drew me into myself could not give energy to the relationship broke up with her then I felt free and then I worked on my crack-on community and I worked and worked I was putting in 14 hour days again I was like I'm fixed

I'm fixed it was I just needed something to work on I just need to end that relationship really I just what I found was another out another escape the community flopped went and like just

I remember sitting in my chair when I saw those numbers come in and I was like Patty what what are you doing went to Bali came back from Bali you know that relationship ended on in terms of like

you know this is this is a breakup but it is just a break because we're both going to wait for each other rightfully so this girl decided not to wait for me and I could not comprehend that and for like six months I went just like like fucking basically harassing the poor girl who gave so much time for me and so much patience this is the difference of

saying I'm like I'm sorry in my comments I was I was sorry to her at the time but making amends right then I couldn't see it was just like leaving her alone it's gone do you know it's done that that chapter your life is done now I understand that through doing the 12 steps again rock bottom came for me in February where I just like I actually saw no positive things in my life anymore I was living in a house I purchased wasn't a positive um it felt like a prison um and I just started trying to do the next thing, the next 1% again. So I had everything I wanted in life at the age of 27. I had the six, seven figure business, creating another one, two pieces of property, wonderful relationship.

But I wasn't doing as great as my friends. And it's not the fact of like, it's like, oh, I wasn't doing as great as my friends. When you boil that down, it was like lack of self-worth based on other people's, positions in life. And that self-worth is the biggest thing that drives me towards, you know, addictive behaviours. I don't know how I didn't relapse. I think the whole time, because I didn't go to the rooms for five years, I only went back

in December last year. It was the only way I didn't because I was so accepting of step one that like my life will become even more unmanageable and I would be totally powerless if I use or drink again. It was the only step I was good at step one. Now I'm good at all of them. But that was my rock. bottom and that was February it's only June now so like I'm still getting my life back on track but you know anyone who's followed me over the last like year and you know they're like

patty lives vicariously with his emotions through his Instagram stories you know through his Instagram posts I had so many people messaged me in the last like four weeks being like you really do seem a lot better and I'm like was that bad you know I've a really I've a really important question because there's definitely a lot of personal training and online coaches listen to this podcast as well. And, you know, obviously, you know, that was, it sounds like that was always going to end in the way it was going to end in terms of like, very, very hard for someone to continue that trajectory of going from, you know, 5K to 10K followers to 20 to 400. Like, eventually it's going to slow down or stop at some point. And I, like, people, people might not be falling, falling into that trap on that scale.

scale where they're not going to grow as fast as you and they might not be at a level of feeling like, okay, they're their failure from not going from 400,000, 800,000. But they might still be in this kind of trap of, you know, constantly playing the algorithm and tying their self worth. Okay, you know, I'm, I have 5,000 followers, but I need to get to 10,000 followers because if I don't, then I'm not as good at my job. as you know X, Y and Z that I see online, stuff like that. Like how can, and you know, it's funny because, you know, as online coaches or as coaches in general, it's funny, we'll, we'll say the advice that we need to hear. So we'll tell a client that, oh no, don't tie yourself work to the scales. Like it's okay that you haven't lost weight this week.

But then we'll do the complete thing of like tying ourselves work to, I haven't gained any forward this week. Or that video didn't do as well as I thought it would do in terms of engagement and stuff like that. Or, you know, like, is there a, is there a, I'm trying to get this question out the way that I want to say. Is there a way of us, you know, in playing the social media game and actually enjoying it

and not playing towards the algorithm and more focusing on creativity and connection for the audience? Or, you know, can them two things coexist? Can you like, all right, if I, If I play the algorithm game, more people will see this video and this will help more people because, you know, my intentions for this video is, is to help people. It's kind of a difficult one because you kind of end up, you end up then being like, okay, I need to make sure that this video is seen. So I'm going to do the hook and I'm going to do the call to action and I'm going to do all these things. And then quickly enough, the video becomes about that rather than I'm going to help person by help someone by a, you know,

sharing this tip that I find. Yes. So it's funny you say that. Like I, when I made my exercise tutorials, I knew I was helping people. I knew I was, I had a niche that was talking into people's insecurities, their self-talk and this, that, but making it humorous. Yeah. And like giving instructions on a video.

But it wasn't, it stopped being about that. And like, my thought process was open with self-depreciation. line. Which you do very well, by the way. Yeah. To your detriment, probably. Yeah, to my detriment. Yeah.

Like, you know, one of my, like back when analytics were a little bit different, you could see how many follows on, I remember, you could see how many follows at a certain point in video. I remember I had one. It was like, if you feel the lap pull down in your lots as much as you felt your parents love and affection as your child, you know, follow for childhood neglect. 55,000 people followed me from that one thing, you know? and then it was like talk a little bit about the movement

funny line the second CTA I was putting two CTA I double down like I'm an addict I go for fucking broke you know and it's staff to be coming about helping people is there a way there is

the only way I've seen it done successfully really is through my good old best mate right or die for the past couple of years, Sean Casey. There's a huge caveat to this. By the time Sean had changed his approach to social media, he has a cult following.

Like, people, like, you know, there's some people in the world who think Sean Casey can do no wrong. I can tell you, Sean Casey can do a lot of wrong. I love that guy so much. So, like, if you look at Sean, for example, like, Sean's videos now are three minutes long, when they used to be max 40 seconds. and like because he wants to talk about the nuance he wants to like create that connection people like if this is you instead of making a video of like talking about one specific niche he will then be like he'll talk about the niche but he'll go into the nuance if that's not you this might be and it's three minutes and they're great yeah they're like they're great they're so good um they're definitely is the only way i can think of is like and it's it's it's not what i want people to do is like create the following and then and then and then

then to go into nuance and stuff because that's sometimes you have to play the game before you can break the rules yes yeah absolutely and i actually as much as because i've only seen like maybe sean or james smith do it um i would say don't because like sean and james smith are unicorns you know they are they are unicorns um i don't know how like i i will like you know i have 420,000 followers and falling. And I get like, do you know, on a good day, I get like, I think my highest story view day this year was the other week and it was like 22,000. Most of the time I sit between 1 and 3,000 and like less than 1% of those, less than 0.01%

of those are buying from me. But like, the ones I do have now, like I talk to each day, whether they're just a long-term follower or whether they're just like, you know, someone who like, like, took my tools and worked on it themselves or whether they're former clients or whether their friends or family like I just value that so much more so you know I was talking to one of the guys

I put up that story that it was like social media is just like shit it got so much feedback from online coaches even like successful ones at the minute I called out the the viral recipe reviewer crowd I didn't even call them out I just said like you know they all look the same

and I get that that's fine you know you're playing the game one of them replied and he's like i actually hate it he's like i hate that i have to do this but i can't not do it because the results are just so outstanding and i'm like that gives me goosebumps just even saying that because i know that pain like it's actually pain he he mightn't feel it yet until that stops working do you think it's going to just become more more prevalent of you hearing about kind of people content creators in general just burning out yeah yeah sadly i do the amount of people I know that have experienced burnout in the last year is

it's disgusting and like even people I haven't heard of people I can see like the amount of content creators that I know that are just like they're so silent on social media now and they just like point blank refuse to and I like who's someone that hasn't who's someone that used to be really Oshin Oshin Mulligan like you know I haven't chat with Oshin in ages

but Oshin is like Oshin took a month off No. Socials. Huge. Oshin now, like he'll post his videos a day. He might do like less than five stories a week.

And he probably has just lives a really happy life now. Yeah. You know? And like he still posts the same videos because Oshin, I think Oshin's just like, I don't fucking care about growing anymore. He's like in the beginning like, and I mean Oshin were like,

he probably would be, I won't speak for him, but I feel like he might agree with me now. Like in the beginning, we were so growth orientated. I'm really pulled back. from that now. I don't know what like orientation I am

just like helping people. Do you know I think I have like even the capacity to help people from burnout is like I could have helped 70 people before I can do you know but I push the bounds at like 25 one to one now. You know and I'm not sitting there and I don't want to get there for a while

you know I'm just like let me go let me get good at like 15 now again. Yeah. Well I'll tell you my experience so I for five years I post it every single day, maybe one or two videos. And, you know, eventually it was one video that went viral. And I went from like 5,000 followers to like 100,000 followers.

And then when I got there, I was like, at the first I was like, oh, this is amazing. I feel so great and stuff like that. And then after a couple of weeks, I was like, oh, this actually, everything I worked for over the last five years, it's actually not giving me as much fulfillment as I thought I would. Or it was very short-lived. And then I was like, oh, fuck, this isn't it.

This is, I was actually enjoying it more when I was working towards the goal versus when I actually got the goal. And then I was like, oh, shit, if I continue to do this, I'm just going to be continuing to like push the goal posts to something. Push the goal posts in terms of something that hasn't, hasn't actually fulfilled me now. So then I was like, all right, well, I still, I'll still use social media, but I don't want to continue to, um, play the game so much that, you know, I'm just, it's, it's, it's never end and or so I was like, I need to, I need to try and change how I, how I view success in terms of this landscape. And that's when I was like, oh, well, I actually want to dive deeper into, uh, the podcast world and, and, and substack and doing writing and stuff like that and longer form content and then get enjoy in terms of the, the process or like the process is like this valuable conversation. Regardless of, of the analytics and, and what it does online, how many people listen to it. It's like, I'm getting something out of this conversation. Absolutely.

Yeah, like, and it's the process that's making me feel good. And it's the same with substact. It's like trying to, for me, trying to gather all my thoughts into like a neatly tired article that makes sense that like provides nuance, but also. And I get fulfillment out of that. And I was like, if I keep doing this, then I can continue to get fulfillment.

But it's like the, the Instagram and the TikTok, and like shorts and just you know real fast viral videos it like it just becomes it feels like it becomes a bottomless pit and I was like uh I think if I continue to and I think that's why Sean's probably three minute videos do so well as well it's because people are probably craving out more nuance and longer content as well rather than you know just quick gimmicks we essentially what we like this conversation like even when I was blowing up my favorite conversations were the ones where, and I should have spotted it back then, where, like, I think I was on a podcast for two podcasts every single day for, like, 12 weeks. Everybody wanted to talk to me. I was the fucking, you know, this is like, this sounds like I'm gloating or this.

No, you're a hot shit at the time. So everyone's like, I want a piece of that because, you know. Because it'll add to me, you know. And then I knew it was a value thing. Like, I remember some person said to me, I said on the podcast, I was like, if you go on to TikTok right now and you put in P, you'll see pasta puppies PDK fitness pizza.

And they did. And after the conversation, they were like, you know, I really, like, had an image of you and what we were going to be like on this talk, but you're actually like,

you're so down to earth and you're, you're very emotionally intelligent and you're like, you're very deep. And I was like, yeah, and that's the rat race because you only show of like social mature to form content you show the you show the the the the stuff that's going to get a hundred k views like this conversation if we like just did 30 second clips of this whole conversation

none of them would get like max 5 4 6 7 you know it's people this conversation itself like it's it's it's crazy that this is the first one i've spoken to you face to face considering we both like post this now i post similar like the same content i used to post before i went viral and like this value is like connection people are craving connection you know but the problem is is like people are craving connection but they're so used

to the to the dosage of just like edits and fucking big flashy stuff and this that like Owen McDonnell McDonnell PT like one of my favorite people in the world um do you know he's in over and I beat at the minute

I miss him desperately like I miss him desperately. He only lives about two hours up throat. He's always in Galway. He, I had a conversation with him. And this is a guy who I have, I coached, help him set up his one-to-one business. And like he'll say, he's like, you gave me the tools to coach myself to get this insane result.

He's now coming to me and he's like, I don't focus on going viral anymore. I post what I want to post, you know? I don't know how me and him came across these tracks, but I've been following him for ages that I really look forward to and meeting him in person as well because he seems like one of them

people who very much is assured of himself so i've never met so like when i first met him he wasn't sure of himself okay the last like he was but he was very like young cool guy but now he's like just like very settled in himself and he's done all that work himself um you know it's actually like he told he rang me actually he rang me when you um to for a thing and he's like should i do it i started crying i was like there's no way that like you and i are going to have to do this together considering where we came five years ago. He's like, fuck, that is sick. And like, there's a guy who's like just, he probably doesn't see connection the way we see

connection crave it because we've lacked it. He's just always been connected, you know? And it's like saying that out loud that like, for me anyway, that's a sad understanding for myself that like I lost connection and now like can see it. You know, I've recently just like started deep cleaning and now I can see dirt. I never saw it before, right? But there's someone that's just always been connected. And like, yeah, people want connection.

People want, you know, you'll tune out so many, 90%. I think, like, less than 1% of my audience sees me now. But I'm just like, way less pressure, way less stress. I'm happier. You know, I'm not doing anywhere near financially as well as I used to. But like, I also kind of don't give a fuck. I mean, I'd love to fly, you know, business all the time again. But like, that's, that's a minor, right?

But like the fact that I can. But it's like the, it's the hidden metrics that you don't say. It's like, okay, you might be, you might be, your social media's blown up. You might be making more money than ever. You might be getting all these views online. But what are the hidden metrics? It's like, okay, do you have peace of mind? Like, do you feel like you're connected to the, to the people around you, to your world?

Like, these are all the things that don't get glorified but end up being the most important thing in the world. The amount of successful coaches are just like business people I know that work online, that do social media as a thing, the amount of them that are now hugely successful people, loads of money that are setting up one-to-one separate in-person businesses, whether it's like one-to-one coaching or whether it's just something completely different, that will operate at a loss. They know it's going to operate loss that will be subsidized by their other businesses just to have connection.

Does that not say like, I'm willing to operate at a financial loss? have human connection. Yeah. That says it all. That's literally what I did. I had an online business. I had 35 really good one to one paying clients who I really, really love. They really enjoyed.

But I couldn't face showing up on another Zoom call. And then I was like, and then I was like, okay, I need to make a change. And that's when I went to kind of in person again and just doing PT, just so I could have a reason to leave my house. So I could see people in person. And at the start, it was a huge. huge loss like a huge loss and over time now it's it's grown to to a point where it it looks like it was worth it financially now but it was worth it even then because again i had peace of mind i had a reason to get out of the house i get to talk to people again like i was

i was like getting anxiety going into tesco because i'd been sitting at the desk all day scrolling through social media being on the computer not interacting with people and i would consider myself quite social person anyway but I was just I wasn't getting any of that and you know it was just impacting even like little small things like like day to day tasks. I was like yeah I need I need to to make a change I need to make and I think that's a really important point that you said it's like they might not and other people might not emphasize how important connection is because they never lost it but when you when you when you feel it missing in your life then you realize how important it is

and that's when again you can you become aware of it and that's when you can kind of help other people with that advice as well because you've felt that pain of feeling disconnected in the world connection is like me and the girl I'm seeing right now we had like

a super fast first four weeks super connected and then like we live in different cities so like it's super super fast burns a super slow one and like now like you know we're just like we had a conversation was like I just want to feel connected with you again. I don't want the same like, you know,

huge bit of burn we had at the beginning, just a big connection. Like, I have people reaching out to me all over the world at the moment, asking me to sponsor them as a sponsor for AA because of connection. And I'm like, there's just no way if I was still hammering the point of calorie deficit and, like,

think that that would ever happen. Yeah, people would laugh, which is a form of connection. But I'm not laughing with them. They're laughing on the toilet on their phone. Or like in the living room on their phone when the ads are on the telly. And then they just go back to fucking rotten. And I'm sitting halfway across the world stressing about,

how am I going to refill the fifth Romanian deadlift video to get views? And I think it's also, it's okay for your message to change over time because you've changed. changed over time or you've seen that this isn't like like I did the exercise videos I did the die of videos I I played the algorithm game as well and I think that's okay as well and to know that okay that doesn't give me any fulfillment anymore and and you know this is something that I see as being really important because it's impacted my life so you know I want to talk about it and it's okay to talk about it yeah that's it like I have a post I have a post going up today and it's

I was sitting thinking about people who are overweight last night. Just like how are people who like myself back like seven years ago and like the things I used to say to myself. So the post is like a message to the person who feels fat today. My posts all now are slide shows with text written on them. Because I couldn't be fucked. Like as soon as I sit in front of a camera, my my my thing is to be like funny. And I like being funny. I'm a funny person,

but like I can get that emotional connection through, as you say, through copy or through text way better. And you can be funny with your friends and it's in the right environment and context. It's like I can be funny and know that I'm not going to be judged because these people understand me. That's huge.

That's huge because that's something, you know, through being my full self. Because you can't really. be your full self on social media. You can't. You know, being my full self with my friends, you know,

and being like a, how do I say this without giving too much away? I almost can predict what you're going to say. We'll try to keep this podcast unconsled, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, let's leave that one. But I think you know where I'm going with this. But anyway, yeah, like. That is friendship, isn't it?

Friendship is like, okay, you know, I can say nearly anything and get away with it because we understand who each other. We understand who we are as people as well and know that there's not malice in the things. There's no malice. It's not, there's no fuel behind it. It's just like the sometimes the audacity of something said is funny in itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of like being fueled by just all, anyways, I'm not going to cut that one.

There is no lies. But also, even when you touched on that weight loss, one question that I did want to ask you about weight loss, which I think will be valuable for the viewers who are listening to this, who listen to it in the context of their health and fitness journey. Like some people feel embarrassed to even begin. Like, you know, going to the gym or, you know, healthy eating spaces,

they feel like it's not for them. And, you know, fitness is getting even more and more trendy, run clubs and stuff like that is getting more trendy. and it can be difficult for people who feel like they they don't deserve to even start. And I suppose my question for you, because you've been on both sides, and it's like, did you ever feel like that way? And if so, how can people kind of push through that? You know, I only felt like that way when I got into the fitness sphere.

And my feed became filled with just other coaches and other, just like people who were hugely into fitness. When I first got into fitness, nobody I knew was like, resharing like you know you know she hurt me so i hurt me in the gym type crack like you know i just i just went i like when i first started getting to it i like my whole thing was when i first got to fitness carl was i now cannot drink or do alcohol cannot drink or do drugs which took up a huge part of my week i need to fill it somehow i knew i was overweight let's go to the gym you know i went to the gym every day for eight months, every day for eight months. And I was drinking heel shakes and one meal at work. And I did feel good. Like I, like I, like I was actually filling myself with

nutrients, opposed to just like takeaways and this, that. And they're not enough. I like, not enough for 140 kilo man. But I was then doing, you know, running and I was just, I was, and yeah, at the beginning, you know, seeing the scales go down was great. But there was no exterior influence of like what was acceptable. I just did it. my way the way that worked for me i did it for me for no one else you know obviously i did it to get fucking women talking to me and this that and the other like you know but like i did it because i i wanted to do it now every second person i know has run a marathon every second person is is a part of a run club there's you know like every third person owns a new reformer palates studio and the next person is

still posting low calorie recipes there is so much noise that like and there's so much like you know if if mary who's anywhere between the ages of 20 and 50 and she's you know 20 30 kilos overweight sees all of this she's going to get overwhelmed and like the my former coach employed or he worked for me charlie um charlie wandsall unbelievable god he was so much better than me at this in coaching. He was so good at coaching people through choice paralysis. And there's just so many ways to start now. Like what's the best way?

What's the one that's going to work for me? Like I'm just getting back into training. You know, I definitely overeating food yesterday. Do you know, I'm in a fat last phase, but I'm also going to just enjoying fitness again phase. And I'm just like doing it. you know, I'm not even thinking about it. I'm like, I'm going to go to the gym today.

I'm going to go and walk because, like, I know the importance of steps. And I also, it's time where I can listen to my audible book and, you know, listen to music. I don't like listen to podcasts and walk. It's either books or music or FaceTime and someone, you know, and then I'll, like, as soon as I take all those boxes, I will sit down on the couch and play video games, you know? It's just like, I want to do the thing because the thing makes me feel good. Now it's like, I need to do the thing because I know I'll, feel better once I've done the thing and achieved the thing, but to achieve the thing,

I have to do all of these things. And I don't know if I have the capability and mental capacity to do them all. I don't even know if I have the ability to cook that well. I've never cooked. I've always had my parents cook for me or this, that I've, I'm just going to order to deliver it. Yeah. You know, and that's, there's a, there's an over productivity over, at least to look aesthetically pleased and needs to, you know, it's like, it's the curated social media feed that, you know, your life has to look like this and like, I'd rather just not start than, then see all of this.

Yeah, and like, as much as I say, like, you know, obviously, like, changing your body won't make you happier. Like, transforming your life will, and the easiest place to start with it is your body. It is like, you know, it is the easiest thing to start with. But starting with that, starting with actually that start has become increasingly more difficult. even without like like low calorie meals and stuff they're great but they're also like

you know the amount of people who I know who who who aren't in fat loss but just stick to low calorie meals that have like you know they might have like 10 grams of fat in a day and they feel fucking dreadful they're not going to continue anymore you know like there's so much nuance to to starting a weight loss journey now whereas before like as toxic as it was, but it was as simple. It was just like, eat good, train good. There's a certain, like, as much as it's like, no, there's way more there is to come to that.

It's like, if you do that, you'll probably feel better. But like, even with that, there's nuance. And now we've gone the other way of like, there's so much nuance that it's over-stimulating. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's, when you have a goal that you want to achieve and you're not in the place that you want to be, sometimes your superpower can be just be,

be one dimensional, and just like, this is the path that I'm going, just go and do it. Exactly. There's just on, on, one last thing on that is like, when I was 2021, 22, 23, all Instagram was, was, you know,

eat what you like to lose weight. And like this, that and eat what you like, make sure you're in a calorie deficit. And I'm still like, you know, I'm still super, I'm going to have my cinnamon bun every morning. I'm going to do these things. But now the youth are like, eat real food and like train hard.

And as much as my brain is like, yeah, but we have to teach them to be a little compassionate food and enjoy it. There's such value in just like boiling it down to like eat real food. And like I don't want to sound like a sport idea of you and all these boys like, but the fact of just like making it simple and like an old almost classic

like style. There's like people find success. It's bowling barriers in a way. do you know that just keep you lined up and maybe there needs to be more bowling barriers maybe there needs to be less it's it's it's like it's i just complained about the nuance of nuance now i'm complaining about what nuance again it's sort of the inception yeah i know it's it's it's i don't i wish i'd had the fucking antidote for that because it's frustrating to watch people well the thing is even when you speak about nuance it is there's there's always going to be a

different answer for for each individual when it comes to getting started or or breaking through them barriers and like you said there is a lot of noise and fitness is very trendy i mean i was watching a i was watching a video there the other day and it was people at a run club and like the interview was interviewing like women and he was like oh what's your ick for people at run club and like when they don't have these types of runners and all i was like like you're just you're just creating barriers for people that want to get into exercise like you're not being helpful and it's like sometimes um I think with fitness, like you said, we overcomplicate it.

And it needs to be trendy and it needs to look a certain way. And you need to do it this way. And I think that for a lot of people, that's not helpful. They're just like, I won't even start. Yep. Yeah. You've been through addiction, transformation, build an online present, build a successful business, created a life where you can work on your own terms.

What's one true you've learned about life that? you carry which every day from all these experiences um the things that you crave the things that you want your goals and ambitions are usually never what they're made out to be once you get them there's just the like the chase i hate that word and the process is always more fun than the destination uh even when the process can be soul destroying like i've been brought to my knees metaphorically and physically through processes. And once I got the thing, it's never been the kind of like high that you imagined. It's never, maybe this is my addiction coming out.

It's never enough. Yeah. Do you think so, like, it's very, it's a very hard concept to get around of, okay, if I chase this goal, I might achieve this goal and realize that I'm not happy. But if I do nothing and sit on a hammock all day, I might not be happy either.

Yeah. And I think a lot of high performing people fall into that difficulty. Like, I've done a lot of work on purpose and this, that and the other. And I think a lot of, like, you know, purpose was first brought to me in recovery and then it was re-brought into me

in like a fitness, a fitness mentorship. And they're like, what's your purpose? Your purpose is to help people, which is their way of, fucking instilling in you is like work harder so you can make more money so you'll pay us longer, you know?

A lot of them probably, like, I don't think a lot of them consciously think like that. I think a lot of them, like, think they have the right message behind it, but it never, like, when you go through it, it's never like that. That's also similar. to the personal trainer and the client who are you doing this for you're doing this for your kids

now lose more way so i can put a transformation photo up you yeah and i'm like i've been that guy you know without knowing it or or at times regretfully knowing it like you know we all have a we all have a bias towards what we want to achieve there's an outcome that we want and and our messaging ends up going towards that yeah yeah so my purpose now is like it is it is just to help people, you know, whether it's in the form of fitness, whether it's the form of like, you know, I really think, like, I've had a lot of conversations with God. I think going back to study, you know, psychology or psychiatry, which is a commitment, a very long time, or probably 40 by the time I start to get work on that. Or addiction counseling or just counseling,

something full stop, you know, whether I do psychology and then can tie in, like, because there are a few, there aren't many, like psychologists who are also, fitness coaches. You know, my previous coach, Becca, Becca O'Leary of Sullivan now from, she works for Amelia Thompson. She's now both. And the value in that and like, I think the way the fitness and weight loss and weight gain world is turning now is immensely valuable, or whether it's just to sit with someone who's like, you know, I don't like life. And, you know, that's where I think my purpose lies now because I've been there.

I think finding out your purpose is a is a journey in futility, a journey of pain in itself. Yeah. Because you'll sit there and you'll like, you know, get overwhelmed by eye life. I'm like,

what is my purpose? What am I here to do? Is it just to like, I have, I know a guy who is like my purpose is to find out the quickest transfers on, on on football and i'm like you're going to have a tough time beating out for bit to him or man o man but like go for it you know now he's doing it like that's his he's a podcast he's doing well like you know um so it's like even if your purpose is something so simple there's there's a way you can

find connection and value in it yeah yeah what's your definition of success now and how has changed over time um my definition of success is happiness my definition of success is happiness and the ability to provide. That for me is success. What does that look like? You know, I own the home I'm in right now and I'm happy. Do you know, I'm not as happy as I want to be,

but I'm happy and that's enough for me right now. There's a couple things I'd love to have a little bit more financial security. I'd love to be able to, like when I was flying it with work, I was able to send my sister like a grand just because she was struggling. You know, my definition of providing now is, like, I have living the home I'm in,

I have a housemate who rents from me and there's a spare room and if there's a, if there's an young alcoholic or an old alcoholic or addicts that's struggling, they have, they have a place and I can provide that for them in the middle of town. There's success for me is like, you know, my parents aren't wondering as like, is Patty going to relapse like or, you know,

success right now is Patty is going to help someone from avoiding really? laps like you know or helping you know Josh one of my longest clients in Texas like helping him you know just get into the gym three times four times a week because then his week snowballs from there yeah um yeah ability to provide and happiness that's my definition of success yeah and as you're saying that like what made me think I think a lot a lot of happiness and fulfillment and purpose, it comes from service. And I think that that's a lot about what you're talking about there as well. Yeah, service, absolutely service. I can't believe I didn't say service.

I, Monday, Monday, every Monday I'm the secretary for a cocaine anonymous meeting. As in I open it. I make sure the door is open for people to come in. And that's a position of service. I hold a position of service to my clients to family, as we all. do like you know service yeah the ability to be to to serve yeah i love that um potty where can people go to keep up with the work you do or to to reach out for coaching or even just to send your message and and you know there might be people listening to this who are struggling with addiction or just self-work in whatever area it is and you know they might want to reach out and and and say thank you for this conversation and also for being so vulnerable with this conversation as well which i think

is also needed to have these conversations yeah you can reach me on just Instagram I would say TikTok but I don't post TikTok anymore you can reach you on Instagram PDK Fitness and you know

if you're if it's like self worth and stuff throw me a message on Instagram you'll get fired into my primary inbox because I'm big on helping people with that if it's anything to do with addiction you'll get fired into primary but I'll give you my phone number

because you know the value of one addicts helping another is the only way that we can get more people sober and clean on the planet so um yeah Instagram, if you are in recovery or want to get in recovery and you live close to Galway, there's meeting lists for AA rooms and CA rooms and NA rooms, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine, Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous.

You will definitely find me in one of those. You know, I'm probably the least anonymous person. But you can find me there if you live in and around or close or willing to travel to Galway. I met someone who was like willing to travel to go away just to have a conversation. Yeah, I would, I would imagine there's a lot of people who, you know, are in these situations who would rather travel and not be so close to home when they're trying to,

trying to start this. Yeah, I know a lot of people in the Galway Fellowship, who would do most of their meetings in like Tipperary or Cork. They would take a three hour journey just because they are like, you know, I'm not, don't want some jobs, some lines of life the anonymity is far more important than others i'm just kind of like meh four hundred and twenty thousand people know i don't care patty i really appreciated this conversation and i will see you very soon on the fifth of july anyway i really really

really uh really appreciate this conversation today thank you mate