The Uneducated PT Podcast - George Sampson - Being Alpha Isn't Misogyny.

Episode Date: February 2, 2024

In this episode of the uneducated PT Podcast we interview George Sampson.Sampo has helped hundreds of geezers get into the shape of their lives but it's much more that just body transformations.These men feel lost in life, have lost their confidence, have lost what it means to be a man.George creates a brotherhood where men can be men. Where men can feel safe to speak. Where men can become strong men so that society benefits. If you're a man looking to get in shape and find purpose follow sampo below. Sampo Instagram

Hello and welcome to the uneducated PT podcast with me, your host, Carlo Rourke. The goal of this podcast is to bring on interest and knowledgeable people from all walks of life, learn a little something from each conversation and for you, the listener, just learn something from each episode. So don't forget to subscribe to the channel, press the box below, show some support, and I'll see you on the next episode. Okay, Sambo, welcome to the podcast. How we doing, my man? You good?

I'm good, mate. Thank you for coming on today. So I wanted to just get straight into it because obviously I know you well. I know exactly what you're like. I think, you know, there's a lot of people who are trying to act different on social media and stuff like that. But from knowing you personally, like, how you act in person is exactly how you act online, which I love. And like the type of niche that you work with, the type of people that you work with, I don't think anyone really, I don't see anyone else doing that. And I don't see anyone else kind of being themselves. And I don't like to use the word fucking authentic because I think that gets fucking.

and, you know, used a lot. But when I think of you, I think of that. So I thought it would be really interesting to get you on today, especially for any of the lads who are listening to this podcast. So will you just tell the listeners a little bit about how you ended up working in the fitness industry, what you were doing before that and essentially what you're doing now? Yeah, sweet. So I got into the fitness industry because I had a bit of an identity crisis

when I was about 18 years old. The real, raw and honest truth I would always give. I was a drug dealer from about 13 years old going up to about 18. And quite a lot of things sort of happened within that space, which was not really me. Bit scary, a bit over the top, like, you know, a lot of violence and a lot of hanging around the wrong people, looking up to the wrong people, which is why we will probably talk about today, you know, looking up to the wrong sort of people, because there is not. not enough male role models out there at the minute, which is why a lot of young men look up to

someone who has a present, someone who has this materialistic things, because there's not enough men that, you know, don't look this way or at this way, so there's only a select few men can look up to, young men especially, right, which I'm very passionate about helping. So I've done a career pathfinder's course, and I was a naughty little boy at school, got excluded many of time. So it said be a PE teacher or be a PT. And I thought, well, if I was a PE teacher and I saw I keep getting bullied, I'll probably end up beating up the bully on my first day in. So, getting sacks. Let's not go down that route. My mum was a teacher our whole life anyway. So I saw the stress it sort of give her and whatnot. And I don't think she was overly fond of me going to

university. She wanted me to go university and mum and dad both went university to be honest with you. But just threw it out the wall and made it stick. I went to six four college, which is like the better college, got using everything because I was selling everyone 20 bags between fucking lessons. I actually had a hat that said your local dealer on the hat the whole time I was at college and I just had it stuck in my backpack with the non-smelly thing. I could just walk around with it all in the bag. I wouldn't give a shit, mate, because I've done it from such a young age. I didn't really think like I was never in like, never got caught.

Crime's getting caught, right? Like, I was just never had no scarcity around it, to be honest with you. And then I thought I've got to sort this out because a big few things happened. Throughout my childhood, I was always getting kicked out. You know, I've been homeless a couple of times as well. So for surfing. And a bit of a really tough upbringing in childhood. and I always know I had something to give.

Do you know what I mean? Like, and at school, people always used to say, like, you're very philosophical. Me being me, I didn't even know what that fucking meant, mate. But I always used to say things that made sense or people used to be like, wow, that's quite deep, you know. And I don't know why it was always like a personality trait that I'd have. Like, I was always called the one man vigilante taking power in his own hands and all this shit.

And I used to say in my report, that's a good thing, Mom. like it's not and I'll be like it is so you aren't going to win with me man but anyways yeah so I've done a PT course I was the fattest PT by country mile I couldn't even bench 20 KG aside on a bench yeah I only I was looking through I was looking through things that you put up before and I and I seen that you were quite out of shape when you were younger as well yeah I was obese growing up as a kid whatever I waited in age I was in stone until I started getting hot off my own supply at about 15 and then I started losing all the weight because it was just

not him yeah stimulants all the time you know and yeah just become a PT mate and fucking it just I've never been so into something like PE was the highest grade I got at school you know I got diagnosed later in my life with OCD and ADHD that's a common trait with that is that at school the kid if they like the subject they will do really really well actually got A-star in morals and ethics as well, which is crazy. But my best overall grade was PE, so it kind of made sense, right? And I actually remember the first day

I got qualified, a six-week course, intensive course. I come back home, and I've got changed outside, and it was like a storm outside my house, but they give us a PT top that said you were qualified PT. I went inside, and I told my mum and dad, I said, sit down, I've got something big to tell you. And I went, I'm a personal trainer. And the first thing my dad said was

when you're going to get a trade on the side you're going to get a proper job my mum sort of agreed with him right yeah because the people don't think you can make money in personal training fucking how are they wrong and like but like they the other

that was like I think that was a defining day of my life and I'm so happy they done that because that made me quit all the stuff I was doing before and it made me want to prove to them that I'm going to show them what being a PTA is. And also, like, one thing that might have been probably difficult for you,

because I know from other people in similar situations, like, if you're making a decent living off doing what you were doing before, it's kind of hard to walk away from that and then go into some, like, personal training where you're probably getting minimum wage to start off with. 100%, mate, but I had, I've, like, crack ads turning up with my mum and dad's door, like, kicking the door and, like, kicking the door and, like, like, I've been stabbed in my leg and stuff like that. It got pretty hefty, so I was like, and I got,

you know what, I've never got diagnosed or anything like this PTSD thing, but for that week when that thing had happened, something had happened to me again between me and this bloat. And I went into this spiral of having panic attacks, mate, for about, I'm not even joking you, mate. I swear to God, I had a panic attack every five minutes for about two months. I couldn't come out of my room. Yeah.

It was horrible. So it had to change. I couldn't be, I just physically couldn't do it anymore. So when I become a PT and I've done all of that, mate, it was just, it just felt like I blinked and every year I got better. I've done the mentorship. So, you know, I hired people to help me. I put my prices up and you know it.

In Colchester, I was known for the, you know, for the PT to go to really, like, to be honest. And just fucking hell, mate, just changed my life completely. Yeah. And like, that's a big thing. And I'm going to talk to you about that even in terms of your coaching hell. you know, getting into fitness and getting into personal training and stuff like that. You know, it starts off with that, like it's surface level stuff.

But the more you do it, the realise, you know, it's actually self-development for life. And you start kind of building resilience up here and everything else and everything else starts to ripple from that. And before we even go into that, I just wanted to ask you, could you tell me the story about the woman Maria that you ran into when you were obviously in that period of your life still? Yeah. So I actually put up on Facebook when Facebook was like the, bigger thing, yeah, about six years ago and it went, it went viral, mate, the original post. And so basically I was homeless at the tarla.

I was sofa surfing between friends and telling them that, yeah, I've got a place to live now, but it would just be another friends. Like every, and then I thought, fuck up, I'm running out of friends here. I slept on the streets like a few nights in a row sometimes when I couldn't get out and about and which was really disheartening. and I had to stop doing drugs because it was just making me just weird, mate, like, pack attacks. And I turned to alcohol and I had a tenor left and I spent, I was getting served at this pub, at 15 years old, like it.

And I bought three pints for a tenor and then I tried to get on the bus and I didn't have enough money. And I was so embarrassed, the geezer be army was like, I'll give you money and I was just felt so like ashamed. I said, no, no, I'm not. I can't take your money. And then I come off and this woman called Maria, who lived locally. I actually grew up with her son as well. And she come off the bus and sat with me.

And she said, you've taken this tenor, I'm going to sit here and wait with you. And you're going to go on this bus no matter what. And I told her a little bit about it. I had a little bit of a mini breakdown. And she gave me a really nice talking to. And she was a little bit like a hero to me. Fast forward, I think it was like six, seven years time. I thought I want to reward this woman for what she's done to me.

So I went and bought her a spa day for two. I just knocked on her door. I remember my mum giving me a lift and knocked on her door and I said, I've got this for you. And she was so happy. She said, I've just got over stage four viral cancer. And the whole time I've been looking at women going spas and I've never been before. And you've turned up to my house like a fucking angel.

And I was like, oh, let me come in for a drink, man. I want to, yeah. And then, as funny, I remember giving her some sweets. And I was like, they're my favourite sweets, Maria. Can I have a couple? Like, we just got on a lot of house on fire, man. And it was just so nice to give back. But then obviously it wasn't nice to hear that she'd have cancer,

but to hear that she got over such a vigorous cancer. But then also at the time, she'd been looking at people to go to spas and I bowed up with a ticket, you know. It was such a nice story, mate. Yeah, I love that. And it also shows, like, like, that's probably you in the round rock bottom. And for someone to just stop

and just to see you for who you are and show that kind of empathy and kindness. And, like, you know, that comes back tenfolds over time. And it's like you said, like, you went on the journey then of self-developing and improving yourself. And then you were able to give that back to her, which is, you know, massive.

Yeah, mate, it was just about a lot of to do it, to be honest with you, you know? So obviously, you've been on your own journey in terms of, you know, getting your life together and improving yourself in every aspect of, in every aspect that you can. And obviously, that's what you do now with other males. So can you tell us a little bit about your coaching the type of people that you work with the struggles that they come into and how he helped them? For sure, mate.

So I coach developing Deezers. So usually like, you know, where you are from in the UK or where from you're listening to, some people get confused what a geyser is. It may be different in other places, but realistically, a geyser is someone who is quite boisterous, quite alpha, likes a beer, doesn't mind, you know, like talking what he says. He might like going out on the weekend. He might like getting on it. You know, he likes boxing.

It's just like, I can tell you this. is right. Geezers always only have male friends. It's very like masculine, like we only have friends that are men like we're geeseers, like we go to the pub, we watch football, we do football, which I know women do, of course, but it's just very male orientative, right? So obviously me growing up, I used to look up to more like, realistically negative role models, male over, overly violent masculine men that have got this, have got that, but they've got a presence and a status. So, if

you would, if you would believe at school as a geyser, like, for example, like what I was or whatever, and you lack that authority, you will look up to someone who has authority, whether it's, in whatever instance, right? So I'm trying to coach the developing geys, I call it developing, because if I coached any geyser, they would,

you know, they might not have the right time to do working on themselves because if they're spending three 400 pound a month on gear still now they're not just going to join a coaching program and stop like they're simply not so like the coaching program is more for men that are like they stop one of burning candle at both ends they want to have a higher status they want to feel more alpha and masculine but do it in my sense the right way you know using your body as a vehicle towards happiness and confidence after your loved ones. But I've got a big thing about putting yourself first more. So these men will be working 50, 60 hour weeks for their misses, for their kids, for their

future, but they're lacking. They're putting on weight. They're then going out on the weekend and having too much to drink to relieve that stress. We all know what men do right as a reward system. So the way I coach men is I've got it, I call it the Giza's nutritional method. So it's essentially we're a Spartan Monday to Friday and then on the weekend we allow ourselves X amount of few beers and a takeaway but I'm coaching you the discipline that you only have that.

I actually got a message from one of my clients who started about four months ago really in a deep dark place and we done a coaching call and he said I'm going to go out of my friends on this weekend but I'm not sure what to do I said you've got two options one of them if you don't trust yourself right now

you don't go. The next one is if you trust yourself, you go, you just drink, because he's trying to stop weed. You either go and just drink and then you just say no to the weed. I've got a message yesterday saying, I've chosen not to go,

I'm going to stay at home, I'm going to have a takeaway with my kids, and I'm just going to just take responsibility there. That, for me, is a massive win for my sort of coaching. You lose two, three pound a week. You've seen it, Carl, the physical transformations I've got over the past.

I do like 15, 15 photoshoots a year with clients, right? Physique development is massive, but that's, a lot of these men never come to me saying they want to do a photo shoot. They're always done by private invite when they're about two, three months in and they've got a taste of fucking development. So that's sort of like how my coaching goes.

Yeah, they start to build up the confidence and then they're like, holy shit, I can actually do this. 100%. It's very much mindset. at the beginning. The first task they do, all mindset, fuck the gym. The first week, we're working on goal setting. We're working on what your plans are in three, six, nine months time. A lot of them are like, what the fuck is this? But you invested in it. You got to do it. Yeah, yeah. You touched on there. You said something. He said, taking responsibility. And I think that's probably

a massive part of your coaching program for these types of people. Because like you said, you're, you're working with people who have probably, you know, they might be suffering mentally. They might be, low and self-esteem. They probably, their outlet has always been probably just going down to the pub and just drinking as much as they can, you know, doing the accumulators, going home.

So, like, it can be very easy to fall into the victim mentality that, oh, my life is shit. But then again, they're not really doing anything to improve that quality. So is that something that you really have to push home with them in terms of taking responsibility for their actions? Carl, honestly, mate, I said,

I've always liked to reply to this morning. He said that, um, I'm trying to, The main thing I'm coaching him on at the moment is to try and work less. Yeah. It's literally like the owner of his own construction company, but he fucking loves the tools. When he's on the tools Monday to Friday,

he's so tanked that he goes out on the weekend and fucks it. So he said the message is telling me this. I said you're on to the first point of, you know, getting there in his awareness. The second point is what is finding out how to do something about it. The third bit is doing something about. it. The fourth bit is being consistent and then the fifth bit is becoming a habit. I said you've done number one because he's self-aware. Number two is getting me as a coach. Number three is you've got the plans to

stop working. You don't need to as much. Number four is we just need to keep it more consistent. So we're like we're sort of nearly there yet, but his level of self-awareness has been coached by open-ended questions. I never told him this shit. Why do you keep going out on the weekend? I'm asking him that I'm making him figure it out for himself. I think as a coach, that's very important. Not, oh, stop going out on the weekend, mate, because you're fucking it. It's like, why are we doing this? Why are we doing this, mate?

You know, like, why do you think this is? What would you give advice? Where do you think it lies? Oh, stress. Where are you stressed from? Work. How many hours are you working? 70 to 80 on the tools and then in the office as well?

No surprise. So let's bring down your work hours. I've sent a coaching. I went through it with. him actually and done a training and then set it out to all my clients on how to build up your calendar and make more time for yourself and go to the gym in the mornings you know so that level of coaching with him is not what the average PT would be doing right now it's you you're creating that awareness and perspective for him so then he can actually make the changes but you can't make

changes if you're not aware of the problem he's like you have to make the client aware straight away yeah because it's hard very hard at times as you know but um with geeseers obviously I understand them so well. I've been there. I've done it. I've done 50 hours PT a week and you know, I've been there, burnt the candle at both ends at the point where I've been watching a film and I just fall asleep every hour of the day. And then my quality of work went down drastically so yeah. Do you think that the people that come to work with you when they are ready to work with you, it's like because they've essentially hit rock bottom because like you didn't you didn't make the changes that you've made in your life until you

essentially hit rock bottom. So it's like the pain of the pain of change or the pain of staying the same has to be stronger than the pain of change. Some people kind of get into that like they're they're comfortably unhappy and they just continue to go on until it gets so bad that they're like, okay, now I have to reach out and do something about this. For sure. So a little bit of detail is I do have people at different ends.

Yeah. So I actually have in my four. which you fill out when you come on, would you rather prefer, like, for example, I can't remember on top of my head, it's like discipline, coaching and massive physique development. I have, like, mann formation habits, and then mindset, sort of like, coaching.

If they pick physique development and discipline coaching, I know that they're on board to just get in sick shape, and they're not really struggling mentally. So these are the guys that I'm like, right, you're already, like, a bit of a spot, and you're ready to just take your physique to the next level, then I get, if someone teaches the boxes of transformation habits and like mindset coaching,

I know they're a little bit lowered down in the mental space. Yeah, their confidence down, their self-esteem is down, they need that built up. But guess what, that second person will be that other person eventually. Yeah. They're just geese on like a sort of like on a journey. So I have people that are at the start where they're really fucked mentally, basically,

and they want to just get better. then I've got men that are already in shape, but they see the shape that I'm in and my clients and they want to just develop it further. But they all still do the mindset coaching, all of them to get them to the next level. So it's not always men necessarily at rock bottom, to be honest with you,

because last year I had a problem onboarding a lot of party boys that weren't ready for change, Carl. Yeah. And I ended up having to do, like, I had to add a risk assessment to my onboarding for some clients to actually ask,

and then the questions, how much money are you spending on X and what are you doing with Y? And I would have to turn people down because within one or two months, they would just cause a lot of problems. And this is because they weren't ready yet, even though they say they are. They weren't ready yet. So, yeah. What does an alpha mindset mean? So obviously, this can get thrown around drastically. Like, as soon as you hear Alpha, you may think, some people may think,

misogynist. Yeah, a toxic masculinity that is there. That's what someone's going to think straight away. So my program has been for a year and a half since going fully online called the alpha male mindset, right? And after we go through some questioning, people watch my content, do do do, do, they kind of get what my gist of it is. An alpha to me, within like the alpha male mindset, the positive alpha male mindset is a man who takes care of himself, takes care of his family and protects and provides for his loved ones. Within that, there is nothing wrong with me telling men to feel stronger and be stronger within themselves.

The audience on my page very much agree with me. When I boost the post and then someone who don't know me might leave a little comment on my bits and Bob saying, you shouldn't be promoting this person, that's disgusting, you're this, you're that. and I'm like, I never said I've promoted everything about them. I said I promote the message of men trying to be stronger, right? I never said, oh, I'm being like him and I'm and I want to act like him. The message of a man feeling stronger is key. Well, I think that that's one of the most important things he can do

because I've known personally when I've felt my most capable and most, like when I've achieved things and I feel capable and I feel strong and I feel like a man. Like, that's when I'm at my best and everyone else around me benefits. Like, it's weak men and men who are insecure and men who are struggling that end up doing things that goes against what society wants. Exactly, mate. And that is the point I'll always make.

So I like to try and document my journey as I go through this more positive gentleman. okay so I have been more of a negative man in the past right but this is why I talk about developing geezers so there was a time not too long ago um when I was living at my flat I always used to walk my mrs down to her car and I didn't this time and it was late at night and she rung me and saying there's a really weird man outside like you need to come running down like my heart I was like to me I don't know what the fuck that means so I've run down there the guy's walking off really really quickly she said this man come over to me try to kiss me like follow me around my car but he didn't come near me but he was being really really weird

i then my whole body started shaking like my legs were started shaking like the the the the fear i got in me for what i could do to that man down that road i to pull me back i just had to try so hard because I know if I would have ran over there like I just know something really would have bad so I stopped myself and I was proud mate I pulled out my drive the next day who'd you think I fucking saw I saw and looked at me dead in the eye I swear to God and I've got the feeling back again yeah right mate so I pulled over the car I've got out I'm in all my gym gear and I went you can keep walking my man but i will walk until my feet fucking bleed until i'll catch you so i'm just at this point i'm actually like yeah i'm gonna hurt this blow you know what i mean and as and i can't it was my

subconscious saying yeah don't chase him walk because we're trying to talk you out of this george so um anyways he was really scared bro i'm sorry i was drunk like do da da da da and to be honest with you mate like he looked like he did actually have something wrong with him yeah so like Like, I don't mean that in a horrible way, but like he looked like he may have had some sort of like disab, like he just didn't look right, okay? Like, he looked like an alcoholic or a little bit like a homeless man and he looked like he weren't fully with it being honest with him. And so I kind of realized that and I knew if anything was going to happen if it was broad day, like do da da da. So anyways, I thought I'll chase this guy around the car. Okay, so I started chasing him around the car screaming, mate, right?

And I said, how does that fucking feel? Because you done that to my missus yesterday, right? And, mate, this was on a busy road, right? And I'm pointing at him and I'm saying, you ever fucking make anyone feel like that again, any woman, any person, you make women feel this scared. I've gone to the pub down the road where you were. I've gone to the car.

I've got all your pictures. I'll post them anywhere. I said, you do not make women feel this way. You are a weak man. Yeah, you are emotionally weak. not do this to a woman late at night. Do you know what you turn around and said? He went, he started crying and he said, I can't believe it? I made someone feel like this. Please, can I shake your hand because you've given me a life lesson today? Right. I said, you ain't coming anywhere near me,

mate, because I'm a fucking not. But if I did do anything to him, the power goes to him. Yeah. he's going to go home and feel terrible about that. Yeah. And a lesson was like, I put it on my Instagram, that story. I was ready for someone to tell me I was a pussy. I was ready for someone to tell me I should have done this and that and the other. But actually, I got about 15 messages from what we were called out of the men saying,

you've done the right thing there. And I got two messages from saying, you were a fucking this, fucking that. Cool. Like, look at you, look at me. Don't worry about it. right? What would happen? What would happen if I'd done something? Who's going to look after my missus? Who's going to look after her son?

Yeah. When I go prison, fuck it. If he'd have touched her and done something out, bro, different story. Well, this is the point. It's like, because you have put the work in both physically and mentally, right? Like you said, an alpha mindset, someone who is a protector, someone who is a provider. So, like, you have the capabilities to protect someone when they needed to be protected. but you also have the discipline to be able to understand

when to pull back and when to go forward and that's the problem is that when people aren't you know looking after themselves you have weak men like that who will do stupid things but if you have strong men

who can protect that actually prevents violence from happening yeah like if I had a coke habit and I was on a hangover that day I would have probably run over there and done something stupid right or if I was on coke or was and drunk

or feeling depressed and feeling I needed to make a fucking big show for everybody. Then it's just two people who are both basically mentally fucked to kill each other on the street rather than you essentially keeping the peace. Yeah, exactly. So a lot of men obviously seem to be struggling in modern society. Obviously, you see this on a daily basis. So how can men take back control of their lives? What would your advice be to them people who are weak men who are struggling?

physically, emotionally, mentally, you know, who have lost their confidence, lost their self-esteem, don't value themselves. Like, what would be your advice to them, people who want to kind of take back control their life the way that you help your clients? Yeah, so depending on the severity of the situation, and if you are on the verge of ending it,

I suggest you fucking talk to someone about it straight away because I've lost men in my life. It was actually horrible. I went through my WhatsApp contacts yesterday. I don't know why I did. And there's like three or four dead men on there, man. Like, and like two or three of them are through, you know, three of them out of the four through suicide.

Yeah. And just to see that good looking bloke fucking charmer, one of them, the other one, like really smart. The other one, just an absolute geezer. Like, it just pains me to see it, you know. And I think if you're at that level, you talk to someone fucking straight away. You go get therapy.

I am not the biggest advocate of medication, but I think you need to be on something to stop your brain from thinking this way. If you're at that end, make, take a pill, fucking go and see a doctor. Like, if that's what you have to do, I massively advocate you for doing that. If you are feeling down and depressed as a man,

there is only one person whoever's going to make that change, and that is you. Because there is so many people in this world, and I reckon 99% of the time people are thinking about themselves anyway. People are self-obsessed and I feel like they probably always have been. You need to let people know about this matter. I would suggest that you start listening to stories or listening to podcasts of men that have got themselves out of ruts

and following people that you can relate to, following people that you can resonate to. You know, because not enough man talk about it. I couldn't believe it, mate. I went to a football game and after the football game I don't know how the conversation comes to it without a couple of beers and we were all talking about

how I've had anxiety and taxed that before and I went home and I thought I am so proud of that and they don't really know each other mate Well this was what I was going to ask you I was going to say like do you find that the men in your group are more inclined to open up to each other in your group than they would outside of that group

to like a missus or a family member or friend or something like that I reckon I get to the point from each of these men that are struggling within month one, I've never told anyone this but X.

So they've never told anyone but me within a month. Yeah. And not even tell their misses. And my go-to is you need to talk to your misses about it. However, Well, there's no judgment.

When they're speaking to you, because they only recently know you, there's probably no judgment there to be able to feel like to open up. It's not a non-biased, like a neighbour. Yeah. It's really odd. Sometimes talking to a neighbour about a problem is really cool because they're like, you're in the comfort zone, but they don't, they're not going to judge you, hopefully.

Yeah. It's really cool to talk to like just some random cunt on the train man, like, or do you know what I mean? Like, try and find someone like this, but you need to find relatability. The only thing that I want to throw out there, which some of the viewers might agree, might not agree with, is you want to talk to your misses about it, which I have done before, depending on their level of emotional intelligence and what happens. strong the relationship is or who they are, they can use that against you. And men need brotherhood. Yeah. Well, I was going to say, I was going to say, you used the word relatable there. And I think that's really important that,

like I think there were, I think there were studies came out. Like even in therapy, right? Most of the men that are going into therapy, they're going into, most therapists are females. And there's nothing wrong with that. That doesn't mean that females can't help men.

But sometimes I think if you're a man who's struggling to be able to talk. to other male role models is probably very powerful. And we don't have a lot of that at the moment. We need brotherhood. And what did I just tell you the other, what did I literally just tell you, Carl? Everyone opened up randomly after a football game.

We just all protected and defended each other and had a laugh and then a beer after brotherhood. Like one of the actual things I say to men is like, are you part of a masculine sort of group? Like, are you playing rugby football? Are you doing this? Are you doing that? Are you part of something where you can release some masculine energy?

obviously the gym's a good start right because i'm a coach as well but are you doing something else because you can't share men problems with women like some of the problems you share you can't and it's the same the other way by the way women shouldn't be moaning about all of their mates and all this shit all the time with their man because the man's all i don't really get it yeah yeah yeah if that was me i would just call up my mate to say what the fuck's going on like and then it'd be sorted right we're not We're not the same, no matter how much they want to put us in the same box. Like, men need men for certain things. Massively, man.

Like, my woman is like, my, like, you've actually, there's a quench, you're going to ask you soon about the most respected thing, but we'll come on to it later, but my woman is up the top tears. But we'll carry on talking about what we were, but men need, men need the brotherhood, 100%, but men need to also realize if they overshare with a woman, and then the woman uses that against them, that will massively, massively impact a man. Carl, I want to quickly tell you something off subject here.

I would love for you to do what I've done once. I've done a poll, and this is crazy here. I've done a poll on Instagram. Would you rather your misses firstly, respect you or love you? I would say respect. Yep. I had 98% over 200 boats say respect. For a man, I would say respect, yeah.

But the women, the women didn't get it. And I was like, yeah, you're a woman, you won't get it. But for us as men, we aren't, they probably went like that straight away. When I've met couples on holiday, we have a few drinks, we get into it. I'm straight away, I ask the guy, I love asking that question, because I'm like, I love this shit. It shows the difference because women would definitely, most women, I would imagine would definitely think that it, love, like, equals respect. But men probably think that respect equals love. well that's how I would see it.

And then the girls always go, fuck, like, maybe that's why he got annoyed at this, maybe that's why he got annoyed at that. Yeah. So what you just said there, you summed it up really short, really nice there, Carl. I wanted to ask you,

so I just wanted to go through a few quotes that I've heard you speak about and for you to kind of touch on them a little bit. So I heard you speak about the positive treadmill. So what does that mean to you? So I think in life, obviously I like to use it because I was a coach, right so as people know what a treadmill and what a treadmill is i think in life we are always guaranteed

one thing and that is reaction that comes from a book called a man think it which i think was made in like 1912 or 1880 one of the oldest books ever it's like this big it's amazing they give it to a lot of men in prisons actually one of the first books they give to men in prisons they're so because it's about reaction one thing we're always guaranteed in life is reaction let's say for example god forbid one of our family members passes away. Reaction straight away. What we're going to do, we're going to turn to a bottle, we're going to self-arm, or we're going to ring up

all our family and get us together and sort of funeral out, and I'm going to do the speech. Am I going to say, I'm being a weight bearer? I'm going to take that plunge and be the weight bearer. Or am I going to say, no, I can't do it enough because I'm too, I'm too upset, I'm upset, I'm doing drugs, it's making me go this way. Positive, negative treadmill. The positive treadmill is the reaction of any sort of

circumstance. Let's say you lose a job. Negative treadmill, you go and get a shitter job because you don't think you're worth enough. You like go to... Damn the doll and drink. Yeah, start drinking. Mrs. Leeds you. Negative treadmill would be just stop seeing girls. Like, fucking just put it all to the side. Positive treadmill would be next. Like, I actually coach my men as much as I can if I could to have that next confidence. That positive treadmill. If a girl leaves you, fuck you next. Like, that's the positive treadmill.

So. Knowing them knowing their worth and... Yeah. So knowing what the reaction can be of... So space three time, we just talked about that man with my missus outside my flat. The positive treadmill, I tried to ride as long

as I could, right? The negative treadmill would have been straight away just doing an act of violence, which would have been a reaction. So what I'm talking about, the positive and negative treadmill is the reaction of what we're trying to do here, if that makes sense. Do you find that the people that you coach, like a lot of your coaching is, okay, things happen to them and you helping them create perspective.

So they react in that positive manner rather than that negative manner. 100%, mate. So, for example, someone cheats on their diet one day. They already know that they can make it better the next day. Because I sent a really cool messaging to my clients two days ago. this study show that 90% of our thoughts today are yesterday's thoughts. So if you can try and control your reactions as best as you can today, by following the morning routine, which I get all of my clients to do,

by, you know, putting yourself first and doing this, you're a lot more likely to get them rubbish thoughts from yesterday and produce better ones today. Because if you produce the better thoughts today, 90% of tomorrow's thoughts for today's. So it's about this positive, reaction, this perception of the coaching that I give people, you know, like rather than going, oh, I fuck it all week.

No, because, like, I touch point Monday, Wednesday, Friday without fail, but I talk to my clients most of the week. So I'm educating them on what can we do better next time. How can we get back on the horse today? Let's take it day by day. Stop thinking about the future. Oh, I've fucked it this week. No, you haven't, mate. It's Tuesday.

Yeah, yeah. A lot of the problems that they come in, really is like it's not really the situation or the circumstances how they react to that like you said mate it's all about reaction like come on man like i've had a lot of times in my life i've fucking reacted badly enough that it's nearly cost my life probably a more than once cost my future more than once and then the other reactions is that it's built me what i've got now yeah yeah and you even even to touch back on what you spoke about in terms of the alpha my mindset and taking responsibility, even if you do have a negative reaction to that, it's like,

okay, sitting back and reflecting on that and then taking responsibility to say that, okay, that's probably not how I should have reacted and I probably couldn't do better next time. Straight away. Straight away. I know that because my dad's never said sorry in his life. He's going to take that. He's never taking responsibility in his fucking life. Once, I'm not even joking me, he had his hood up like this.

like this right and he opened the boot of the door the boot of the car and the boot fell on his head and he hit the fucking boot and he went fucking boot fucking things wrong I went

you still couldn't even take responsibility of you blind siding the boot not putting the stick up so it fell down on your head like what is this shit another record that I wanted to get you to touch on as well

something that you said So our bodies change over time. So does our brain. But I can tell you one thing, if you're always trying to chase constant improvement as a man, you'll always be able to say that I tried to do this. So my question for you then is, how important is chasing self-development in your life

so that you don't live regret at the end of your life that you didn't kind of live up to your potential? Well, actually, mate, I read a book once and it said to go to a lot of old people's homes and ask them questions. about their life. And I found a lot of them who didn't work on themselves a lot, always started with, I wish I did. I've done my own self-research here, mate. I went out there and I've been to a lot of care homes. And I used to go out there and ask, you know, how's your life been? You're at,

probably nowadays, you're not allowed, but about six, seven years ago. And I used to go to homes and ring a mark if they were lonely and say, come, I want to just hear about your life. Like, sometimes I was going to make up I was a journalist and shit, so they just tell me, I'm the best blacker in the history of mankind. I am. And you just used to start with, I wish I did this, I wish I did that. But then some would be like, no, I accomplished this and I've done this. And I'm so glad I've done this. So I know that there's another quote which adds on to the one that you just said is it's basically about the man who doesn't care about the destination, but enjoys walking, would always be willing to walk first. than the one who just cares about the destination. So if you're just constantly looking at the end, you will never enjoy the now. And there's also a book I read. It's a really spiritual book.

I can't remember what it is right. It's one of the top ones, begins with A, anyway. There's a bit in it. He gets the guide to, I think it's called The Alchemist, to be fair, have you heard of this? Oh, I've heard of that.

I haven't read it now, but I've heard of that book. Yeah. So he gets this boy to walk through this house and balance water on this spoon. And when he gets at the top, he said, what did you see along the way? He went nothing, because I was focusing on this. He said, did you not see this here and that here

and all this really cool? There was a gold statue. And he said, no. And he said, well, you need to take it a little bit slower and enjoy the journey. So stop fucking worrying about the destination. You still have the fucking spoon. I didn't tell you how long.

So if I didn't tell you you were going to die at the end. Sometimes I had this pint, one of my best mates, he kept saying, every checking, I've got 10 weeks left, nine wings left. I said, bro, have you got some sort of terminal illness? You're not fucking told me about it. Because what the fuck? Stop fucking saying that all the time.

It's pissing me off. Stop saying you've got nine week, eight week. You put so much pressure on yourself that you're not fucking having a chance to enjoy it. So it's just like I feel like men that are always trying to progress in some area of their life will always be that little bit happier. but it's not the destination it's the it's the it's the face in the storm

and you're in it and getting through it which matters and all of that all those things you learn from that man so that's what the men is integral I used this line with my group the other day and it was the exact same as you but just in a different way

and I said like the goal isn't about what you get like what you get like to lose 10 KG to be leaner to fit into the jeans it's not about what you get it's about what you get it's about who you become in the process. You know, someone who, you know,

respects themselves as ambitious, as hard work and as discipline, someone who, you know, will get up and go to the gym even when they don't want to someone who will prep the meals, even though they don't want it because they know it will set them up

to be a better person throughout today. So it's like who you become in the process is more important than what you get. And if you can understand that and realize that, well, then you can stop being in a rush to get to the end. Because once you get to the end, it's the end. once the end is debt and life is over

and then you realise you haven't fucking enjoyed any of it mate you hit the nail on the head there mate 100% agree what uh how do you want to look back on your life when let's say you're at your debt bed how would you want to look back in life how do you how do you say you wanted to live love that question mate um it will be lit up every room that you ever walked in and was always there for others no matter what impact for you

impact yeah like I want people to know that I always left them with a good message or help them along the way, some way, shape or form. Whether it was a talk that I've done in a school, whether it was what I coached you through, whether it was what I told you on a football pitch one time when you missed a shot or a goal or you were upset in the changing room after.

Whatever the fuck it is, just I had a positive impact on your life and I'm remembering that way. Yeah, people feel better after you leave for being in their personal. presence. Who in your life has done that to you? Who has impacted your life where you are like you know what? I feel better after spending time with them or having a conversation with

them. I know you even talked about Maria at the start which would have been someone who Maria definitely I had a social worker when I was younger as well called Kevin and he helped me a lot and he was like the first role model

I had. Yeah. And as deep as it sounds. I was getting kicked out a lot from my house and I turned around to my dad and said once, like, it's horrible to start and I wish I had Kevin as my dad because you always wish that I wasn't your son. So I'll tell you what, I wish I had him as a dad and I just kept, every time I thought of it, break down in tears, break down in tears, but he was one of the first positive role models I had. When I was younger, I was into like spitting bars and being a little gangster. Do you know what? He was accepted it and he said, how are you getting on with it? And he really, he

wanted to push me away from it. But he used to take me boxing, right? Mate, I even told my Mrs. son yesterday, we done a bit of sparring, mate. He fucking chin me the second time. When I say chin me, right, I'm talking like, I went down to get him in the ribs and

he uppercutting me as I was coming down. The trainer in there went, Kevin, is your fucking social kid, mate? He's doing. He went, I'm sort of trying to teach him a lesson. I thought, I barely even fucking see what's going on at the minute. At the start, him and apart from that may probably just people that i've learned from it it pains me to say that

there isn't anyone that overly stands out to be honest because i feel like it's been a journey of learning from people like i could sit here and say tony robbins you know what i mean i could sit here and say somebody like it would be different it would be different people at different stages of your life though isn't yeah but for the now it's probably my misses like meeting the one who cares like honestly mate the small every morning since I've been home she's from me she's done all my lunch all my dinner all my water on my desk here

because she knows I need to work hard here today she brings that to me every single morning you know like so she's my rock at the minute like since things have just changed so positively do you think okay for men who who probably want that in their lives they want like a a woman

who they can depend on who can be that rock but they're not that they're not the man that they need to be yet in order to meet them like i presume like you wouldn't have been with your missus if you were still like you were a couple of years ago can i tell you something i've had to massively leave my ego behind from when we first got together but if my missus was sat here right now she'd tell me she could easily walk over me if i let her yeah so my missis is i've got a uh that's probably what i love her but honestly mate if if if i gave my Mrs. Anish, she'd take a mile.

Like, she's, she's, she's, she's left, she's walked over men before. But, like, that's because I have this alpha mindset. Alpha mindset that keeps her in line. Yeah. And when the first one on our first date, she said, I need a man to keep me in line. I thought, you fucking, oh, you met the right cunt here, mate. Jesus Christ. And I said, I sort of need you to do that as well, like, and fuck me.

We've had, we don't argue, really, but we've had some big fireworks at times, you know. And then we've always come out a bit well and talked about it. So now, yeah. I've one more, I've one more question for you. And then, and then we'll wrap it up. So one piece of advice that you would have for all the men out there who want to get more out of our life. Start working on yourself.

Just start working on yourself. And if you don't know how, then if you can, honestly, like if you haven't joined a gym yet, go join the gym and do your first training session. If you haven't talked to someone about your feelings or emotions yet, start. If you haven't joined a sport team ever or something like that, start. If you haven't got the confidence to do that, start building confidence. Start building self-esteem.

The word self-esteem, as Tony Robbins explains it, is you have to give yourself self-esteem. How do we start building self-esteem as a man is usually by building discipline, right? So usually doing tasks and completing them will build self-esteem. I'm going to tell myself I want to go to the gym today. I've done it. That built my self-esteem. I'm going to tell myself I want to lose two pound this week. I've done it.

That built self-esteem. That's two self-esteems now. I told myself I was going to perform better in my job and hit this KPI, for example. That raised my self-esteem. I wanted to do overtime this week to gain more money that raised my self-esteem. So it's just like doing more for yourself. Yeah, you got to, you got to do things,

you know, root the benefits from them, understand that you have the ability to, you know, do things, push past things that are hard and that builds up your confidence over time. But it's a, it's a journey over time and you slowly build up all these wins to become the man who you want to be. I think so, mate.

I think so. It was a very hard question to answer because it was just one word of advice. Yeah, it could go anywhere. I think working on yourself, I think that's got to be a good answer. Because I think if you are too busy putting other people first all the time and other people's wants an emotion. I tell you one thing that men really struggle with is in a relationship, at first they try and impress.

So they let things slide. Say, for example, I know you didn't ask me the question about if a man was joining a relationship. One of the biggest things I could tell them to do when they first start is set boundaries your fucking boundaries very very early on Because if you don't Three four months down the line and she says this and does this and you're calling her up on it She said you never said about it before

You know so it's taking control straight away Trust the right woman they fucking that turns them on Yeah, like when a woman when you tell a woman at first what you sort of like and what you don't like they're like oh this guy's got his head kind of to screw you on that. Yeah. Yeah. He's not being controlling. It's just telling me what he wants. Well, this is, this is where I went back to the, the comment about you and your Mrs. meeting you when you were at your very best. It's like,

for a man to set them boundaries and to be very comfortable in their skin and what they'll accept and what they won't accept, they need to do to work first before they even fall into that relationship or else they'll end up in a toxic relationship. Mate, this is going to sound horrible, right? You're going to have to deserve it. Yeah. You're going to have, if you want good things, you're going to have to fucking deserve it, my friend. Yeah. Yeah.

If you're a fucking bastard yourself and you're out, you're completely out of shape and your mind and your body and your emotions, then you're not going to attract the women of your dreams in my personal opinion. You don't deserve it yet. So again, that, that what I said, start working on yourself. Yeah. I think it's going to be the best advice to give. Everything you want in terms of rewards, whether it's, you know, money, success, a decent body, a good looking girlfriend. That will all come for you when you are the person that. deserves them things and that means you're going to have to put the work in in whatever area.

They'll just come to you, mate. You ain't got to do no more lead generational girls. Samva, I just want to, we'll wrap this up with also saying like the type of people who will be listening to this conversation who will want to reach out for you for help, you know, our males who are struggling. And like you said, like something that's really important right now that a lot of males don't have at the moment is that brotherhood or you know uh male role models to look up to so like like you said like and a lot of the lads as well you know they might have played football or rugby or whatever

when they're younger and a lot of people then stop for whatever reason they get into work or they get paid and other things so they kind of lose that brotherhood they lose you know surrounding themselves with men on a daily basis they might only have their misses and stuff like that so like even even joining programs like yours where you get that back is is going to be really vital for them type of people. 100% mate. I definitely agree. A lot of men just say you've given me my spark back. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that's usually down to me coaching you,

hoping that you can be more of a man again, coaching you to be that manly man again. Like you said, a lot of people, do you know what? It's just something really coming to my head here. Very, very off topic. I will talk to this to Rob about this once. This is a controversial subject. I was with one of my ex-girlfriends before, and we were sat down. this is he lives in the household of women okay so like this three sisters one mum and he just lives there as well right he didn't really seem to have like a lot of like friends like okay that's not the moral story so the girl who i was with at the time she said it once when we were together just me and her she said it again she went ever since i've been with you and i think i was only 20 at the time

honestly she goes ever since i've been with you i don't get no likes on instagram anymore like or from i said and i stood up and i went do you know what you said this enough to fucking time to me, yeah. If you don't fucking like it and you want to get more likes on your Instagram, then I'll just fuck off. Right? Yeah, in front of all of her family, I don't give you shit because you're pissing me off and you're disrespecting me in front of you.

She said it from men as well. She wasn't joking when she said it. Fucking disrespect. I've got up. Anyways, her dad's followed me to the door and I've turned around and thought, like, what? Like, what do you want? Are we going to have a go here? what and he went to me and this pained me and at the time this is the big toxic music it

cringed me out at the time but now it pains me because i'm more developed he went i wish i had more balls like you had you had and this is that yeah i was like fucking hell mate i'm 20 years old and you're like living here and i've kind of just swore at your daughter in front of you and i was a little bit over the top right but you didn't know the delo that she'd said it a few times before and it got to me, and he turned around to me and went, quite, I wish I had a bit more bollocks like you did, and I thought, fucking hell, mate, what's going on in the world?

But that's exactly what we've even just spoke about. When men lose their confidence like that, then they get walked all over and that's probably what's happened to him. If he turned around and went to me, right, you, don't talk to, and do you know what, if he actually did have that presence about him,

I wouldn't have done it in the first place, but he'd turn around and went, look, mate, fucking talk to my daughter like that, But also to his daughter said, you don't say that to you, man. Like, you're with him. It don't matter. Yeah. Like, why do you want attention on Instagram off men when you, when you're in a relationship?

I would have gone fair enough, mate. I'm sorry for saying that. I'd just stood up and shook his hand and he probably would have gained more respect to me again. Yeah. But, like, the fact that that happened, I was like, fuck, men this age are really made to feel weak. I put a poll up, you know, a men are made to feel weak this day. Yeah, get 100% yeses. You know, so I'm here to try to make.

them feel stronger. And if that's you going to the gym, if that's you trying to better your mental health... Do you think men feel weaker or are weaker because life is just a lot easier for them? Yeah, I think so. And I feel like compared to our older, older generations, mate, they had it a bit tougher in it.

You know what I mean? Like, they had it quite tough. Like, if we went to war right now, mate, fucking, I would... Like compared to somewhere like Russia, where these are hardened fellas, mate we are but I think yeah

it's got an easier it's got an easier to make money it's got an easier to find any woman you want it's got you know you've got porn and all this shit now everything's accessible I think it's just made men less more masculine do you know what I mean yeah so if anyone

wanted to reach out to you let's say they're feeling like this they're feeling like they're not really being challenged in life they're not feeling like they're living up to their true potential. Where can where can people reach out to ask you about coaching to follow your content, all that stuff? Yeah. So like mate, I have, I have my door open to any man and I wouldn't ask for any penny if you're in any need. I will talk to you no matter what I have DM's open for

everyone. So it will be Sam Po Transformation Coach on Instagram and if you haven't got Instagram it will be George Sam Po. I'll leave all that in the I'll leave all that in the show notes but Sam Bo, thanks for today, mate. I really appreciate it and I know this would be really valuable to all the men out there. Thank you, Karl, mate.

Thanks for having me on my geese. Thanks for watching. If you like that episode and you want to see more content like this, make sure you're subscribed and I'll see you on the next one.