The Wellness Scoop - Creating a more mindful life

Episode Date: June 4, 2019

We all want to be healthier and happier but how can we actually make it happen? Today we’re looking at simple, practical day-to-day practices to help create that internal transformation, focusing on yoga and meditation. From their ancient roots and philosophies to the idea of non-attachment, the power of the breath and the ability to see ourselves as enough just as we are, as well our favourite books, concepts, affirmations and intentions. This episode, with Steffy White, will help you find new ways of being present, create a sense of inner peace and calm and ensure that our happiness come from internal not external sources, most importantly it also shows that you don’t need to stand on your head to be a yogi! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com. Hi, everyone, and welcome back to the Delicious Yellow podcast. It's just me, Ella Mills, hosting today. So we've talked a lot across the podcast, across every season, about just sort of generally living a more mindful, conscious life. In that, we've talked obviously a lot about creating that positive change and finding that sense of peace and balance in our lives. And one thing that we come back to time and time again,

and that readers and listeners often ask is, okay, I want to do that. Who doesn't want to be happier, healthier, more peaceful in themselves, but how, you know, like, what actually are the practical things that I could do today in my life to feel a little bit better. And when I was thinking about this season, I wanted that to be a big focus. You know, on that, I've kind of had to draw my own experience and the things that I've found have really supported me. And the thing that has been transformational for me above anything else has actually been the practice of yoga. For me, that has helped kind of keep my mind in a better place than anything else. And it's been a really powerful constant for me. I did my yoga teacher training

um last year it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and when I was doing that I was reading this book by Iyengar um called light on life which is a great book if you are interested in this space and I was doing my training like a month or so after Matt's mom had passed away which I know we talked about in the first episode of this season and it had been a really difficult emotional year really stressful year at work and I was definitely feeling a bit all over the place and I read this and it really kind of brought home why I think the practice can be powerful and he says yoga allows you to rediscover a sense of wholeness in your life where you do not feel like you are constantly trying to fit the broken pieces together.

Yoga allows you to find an inner peace that is not ruffled and riled by the endless stresses and struggles. It allows you to find a new kind of freedom, one that you may not have even known existed. Anyone can embark on this inward journey. It is not a religion or a dogma for any one culture it is open to all regardless of their birth and background which I think couldn't be more true and you can't be good or bad at the practice just as a preface for what we're going with this so to talk yoga as a tool for internal transformation again tapping back into my experience I thought who's the best person to talk to you about this? Where did I get my initial inspiration from? And it was from this brilliant, brilliant yoga teacher, Steffi White.

And it was Steffi's class that made me fall in love with the practice and see it for what it really is today. So I'm very, very, very happy and honoured to have Steffi with us today. Oh, Ella, what a beautiful introduction. Thank you so much for having me. I'm truly, truly humbled. And yeah, Thank you so much for having me. I'm truly truly humbled and yeah so grateful to you for inviting me. Oh my pleasure and by the way just so you know we have Austin our dog in the studio again today so if you can hear any like gentle groaning or growling or kind of just paddling around then that's him. It's not us. Exactly it's not us.

So just to get started can you just tell us a little bit more about how you got into yoga and how it's come to have a powerful place in your own life? Absolutely. So I was lucky to be introduced to yoga at quite a young age. My mum and dad aren't like hippies or anything like that. But my mum, she used to practice yoga in her like local village hall. I remember she had this yoga mat that had the postures on it, but she wasn't particularly serious about it or anything like that. But I'd heard the word, kind of seen her going to practice. And then when I was about 13 or 14 for one Christmas, I the yoga with Geri VHS so do you remember when Geri Halliwell from the Spice Girls got into her yoga so I got that VHS and I remember you were a big Spice Girls fan

huge Spice Girls fan and was Geri your favourite she was my favourite I was a secret sporty Spice fan well yeah sporty for life come on but um so I had this VHS and I remember being in my mum and dad's living room, putting it on and learning sun salutations. But obviously back then it was on one layer. Like I had no idea about the depth of it, about the spirituality. You know, I wasn't stressed. I wasn't in a difficult place. I was just this curious, young, kind of weird child

learning these sun salutations at home. So that was kind of my first very small, basic introduction to yoga. Yoga with the Spice Girls. Yoga with the Spice Girls. Then, you know, I went about life and I went to drama school. So when I was like 18, I was at drama school and they offered yoga in the mornings. And I did a little bit of yoga then. And I just remember feeling like it made me feel amazing.

I wasn't really particularly in a difficult place. I didn't have that association of like, wow, it's really clear in my mind. You know, I was super young, so it wasn't like I was in this difficult place or anything, but it always made me feel amazing. So I was working as an actress moved to London was working in TV on and off but I was broke in between the jobs so I had a job at a cafe a job as a nanny and a job in a pub like three jobs in one day and you know I was doing bits and pieces of acting and then doing these three jobs that I didn't love this This is in my early 20s. The more and more I was doing this, the less and less I was finding time for myself. And also I had this such big dream of being an actress. And I was realising that that wasn't

my reality. And I just had never imagined that I was going to be in a place where I was running around working in a bar till three, waking up at six and working in a cafe. I began to feel really, really lost. I was thinking about the future all the time, worrying about the future. When you're an actress, you know, everything is up in the air. You have no stability. I didn't know when my next job was. Also, I was really young, so I felt like I had something to prove and I just felt like I was

failing and so the insecurities come the judgments I'm trying to prove myself and I'm just coming more and more away from the true essence of who I was so it was a very confusing difficult time and luckily at this time I lived in Clapham and there was this neighborhood yoga studio, like super community based. And it was called Hot Power Yoga Clapham. And I started going there. And at this time, I hadn't really been practicing yoga. And I remember the very first time I entered that studio and, you know, I was so caught up in what the hell am I doing? And worried the whole time, stuck in the future, stuck in the future stuck in the past you know just buying

things actually that was a big part of as well I remember always buying clothes like I had no money but I was stuck in the cycle of like I'm so unhappy what can I do okay I'll buy this and getting into more debt and just seeking happiness from other everything being external rather than internal totally and I remember I entered this first yoga class there and I went into child's pose and it was the first time in years or maybe my life that I had really noticed my breath we were in child's pose and I breathed and I literally like honestly it's giving me goosebumps talking about it now because I just was crying so much because I realized for all these years, and especially in these, like, hard few years where I was feeling so lost and stuck in the future and stuck in the past, there was no concept of the now, the present. My life was flashing before me.

And for the first time, I was in child's pose and I took a deep breath into the present. And then slowly I was just coming home to myself so as soon as I did that one class it was like holy cow I need to go back and then I went back the next day and I really saved money got a membership and then I was going daily and it was like every time I stepped into yoga I was I'd come so far from myself like stuck in this cycle of chitter chatter chitter chatter worry worry worry worry stress stress stress bye bye which is so common so common so common totally totally and I was so stuck there that breath by breath every time I practiced yoga it was like I was coming back to the essence a bit more.

And so that's kind of how I really connected the dots between the spirituality, the mental, the physical, and yoga being a healing journey. I love that because I think people think yoga isn't for them. And it's, you know, all about standing on your head or touching your toes or on the rest of it but as you hear from kind of everyone like happiness is so connected to being right here right now being grateful for that being happy about that and finding tools like we said at the beginning like practical tools to take you there yoga is incredible for that because as you say you get in and someone says breathe and you think oh my god I've just spent the last 12 hours being stressed about whatever I'm stressed about and I didn't even realize I was breathing and it's like the most human thing in the world just

to take breaths in and breaths out but it's incredible when you focus in on just doing that for one minute how different profound exactly but it's so simple. Yeah. I know for me, exactly the same. It was incredible. And it was like over the last few years where things were really difficult at work, you know, launching a startup, thinking you're going out of business each and every day. And then my parents were going through a difficult divorce. And my mum got very sick. And just life felt like you're just juggling too many balls.

And every time you walk in and you sit on your mat and you come back to your breath and your body and just like I am here and I have that it was so much easier to find gratitude in everything else because you suddenly kind of yeah you had that connection to yourself and how you were actually feeling rather than as you said getting so absorbed in that chitter chatter of everything I wanted to kind of go back I guess to the beginning and a lot of us aren't lucky enough to start yoga with the Spice Girls I think that's the best ever but I feel like a lot of us look at the practice from a very physical perspective like it's obviously offered at a lot of gyms and people maybe think about doing it instead of HIIT training or Pilates or something like that but actually the physical practice is just like a tiny fraction of what the philosophy is as a whole and

I think we all have a lot to learn so can we go back to where it comes from and the fact that it's not just exercise and how that all plays out? What is useful to know is Master Patanjali. So the Yoga Sutras is an ancient sacred text, which is really where the birth of the eight-limbed yoga practice, these foundations of yoga as a modern day yoga yogi comes from. And so these Yoga sutras is like it's kind of a path or stepping stones to bliss to enlightenment and I was actually going to share one of the first sutras that Patanjali writes about and it says yoga is the progressive settling of the mind into silence so we very quickly learn that when we look at the yoga sutras, the asana practice, the postures, the physicality, the exercise, like if we can call it,

it's a very small part. So this is where the eight limbs come from. So the eight limbs of yoga is a path, the royal yoga, ashtanga yoga, raja yoga. And these eight limbs, it's like this stepping stones, as I said, towards enlightenment by Patanjali. The first two, so the yamas and the niyamas. And then we have asana, which is the postures as we kind of see a lot on Instagram. This is what most people know yoga as. Standing on your head. Standing on your head, flexibility, strength. So that's the the

third and then we have pranayama which is the breath and the life force pratyahara tuning the senses inwards to explore the inner world dhyana is effortless focus attention dhyana is continuous flow of meditation and then samadhi is the end goal, which is bliss and enlightenment. So I think with your question that you just asked, what's really useful as the lifestyle of yoga, like how do we bring this into our life and what it means to take yoga out of just postures is to start at the Niyamas and the Yamas. So the niyamas and the yamas are morals and ethics as a yogi. So there's five yamas and five niyamas. And as a yogi, it gives us this framework of how to live our best life and how to be happy and the best that we can be. I really like to see the yamas as the correct behavior towards others,

to learn how to practice gentle, loving care towards ourselves and towards others. So this is kind of the basis of my lifestyle. So yes, I practice yoga, I do headstands and handstands or whatever. But really, the niyamas and the yamas the core foundation of the yoga practice these morals and ethics is really what my lifestyle is way beyond so there may be many weeks I don't do a headstand but I like to think every day I'm coming back to these core values of the yoga practice so learning to be gentle to be non-violent and we can see that in my diet and how I choose to, what I choose to eat. So non-harmful foods, caring about beings or things that have been hurt along the way, it's kind of part of the yogic philosophy. And being non-violent to myself. So checking in with

those really destructive thoughts, you know, I'm not good enough. I had it on the way here, like, oh my God, imposter syndrome. I can't believe I'm on deliciously hell's podcast you know and I can't believe I'm talking about yoga like I'm you know I'm still completely and will always be a student a very new student to yoga so just checking in with all that learning to be gentle non-violence is the first um truthfulness so speaking with truth not lying honoring our own truth as well non-stealing so I take this one the moral of non-stealing I take it as actually giving so give more take less brahmacharya yes so there's one of them that is about conserving sexual energy you could look at it as maybe not having sex, but I see it as

relishing and nourishing relationships. So choosing wisely who you let into that space and really nourishing and learning more about that rather than like restraint. So that's the first five. That's the yamas. That's like the practice of correct behavior and then we have the niyamas which is the things that we should really do the things that we should really practice in order to find this state of bliss and happiness and contentment which is to purify so you can look that in our yoga practice we do physical practice so that we can sweat and clean and purify the body and also the mind so that we can eventually sit still with ourselves. Contentment, so just being happy where we are. Discipline is a really big part of the practice and I talk about discipline a lot in my classes but more than

discipline, this niyama teaches me to have this burning desire to do my best. So it's less about discipline and it's about showing up in whatever I'm doing and absolutely having the burning desire to do my best and letting that be enough. Self-study. So observing myself, observing ourselves through the practices of yoga, watching our habitual patterns, chitter chatter and then finally devotion and this devotion does not need to be to an outside god but to the realization that we are all one sounds a bit out there maybe no and that's the thing is it doesn't really very basic and

simple when you break it down it is simple and it basic. And it just really comes down to love and compassion and living gently and kindly with ourselves and with one another. the world is so busy and we can feel pulled in so many different directions and you know it absolutely doesn't have to be something that sits at odds with any religion or have like any kind of really dogmatic approach but they're just really nice guides and things to be conscious of when it comes to trying to be happy because I think we've talked about this a lot throughout the series um and all of the episodes we've done really about how like actually happiness is a work in progress and like we wish happiness was something that we just clicked our fingers and we got and we kept forever but actually for most people almost everyone you have to work every single day at being happy

and a lot of that comes down to like actually creating discipline in your life to like do the things that can make you happy. So whether that is a walk, exercise, yoga, moving your body in some capacity because it on a really boring level, like it actually physically proven to have an impact on your happiness, whether that's cooking, like nourishing yourself, making an effort to talk to yourself in a nice way rather than an unkind way and actually what I love about these I think they're a really nice framework of things to think about for that work in progress that is happiness and I think seeing it in that way is really important because if we I always love the expression replacing expectation with appreciation and if we always expect just to be happy we're not going to be happy but if we go out there and we do all the things that we need to do to make it happen, then it does. Like going back to that book, Light on Life, which I love. Again, Iyengar describes all these different layers of your body as layers of an onion.

So it's not like you have your physical body here and your kind of emotional self here. They're absolutely one. They're just different layers of it and I know you have the five koshas which kind of are those five layers of the onion and I'd love to talk about that and I guess how the practice again can help us tie those all up so that we can again connect to ourselves and see how we actually feel and then work on that because if we don't know how we feel we're never going to be able to create that sense of transformation. These five koshas, it's like encasing the soul with the layers like an onion.

So the fifth layer, or like think about it like a Russian doll almost, you know, the littlest Russian doll, the one on the inside, inside, inside is the soul. And then the layers build up from there. So we'll start at the first layer, which is the layer that most people hang out in most of the time. And that's the physical layer. Oh, hiya, Austin. Austin's coming onto my life. Austin loves Steffi. So we have the physical layer, which is the skin, the bones, the muscles, the connective tissue, the fat. And what's amazing is that when we practice the asana, when we practice the postures, we become more conscious in the physical layer. And we have to start at the physical, right? We're physical human beings, so we have to start there. Tosi, and I actually think it's really important to kind of stress that, that that's not a bad thing to get into yoga or any other kind of practice because you're interested in the physical.

Like it's whatever gets you there in the first place. And I think sometimes in this space, there's a bit of judgment for people for using it as exercise or whatever it is. And actually, I think that's such a shame because as you said, like even if you only practice on a physical level, it still taps you like how does my body feel is it tired do I have a lot of energy today do I need to sleep a bit more rest how amazing is that exactly amazing is that and often like nine times out of ten what's going to happen is maybe your weight loss goal or the fact that you want to use that exercise brings you to the yoga class but the the more you do it, eventually you're going to find so much more from it. So whatever gets you there, amazing. But the more we practice yoga, the more conscious we become in the physical body.

So we're less likely to fall over or get ailments. And so that's the first layer. Bring consciousness there and then we become more aware of it. The second layer represents the energetic body and the subtle body and the life force. So this layer, when we bring consciousness to it, we're able to move stagnant energy through breath practices. The third layer is the mental layer and the emotional layer and our nervous system. When we are conscious and awake in this layer, we can see our negative patterns. We can see the people around us who are maybe

negatively influencing us. We can see our choices. And then maybe with awareness and consciousness, we can choose something else and the fourth layer is the wisdom layer and when we become clear here when we become conscious here we see that we've got all of this intuition we don't need to look outside for all of this there's this deep intellectual seat and the final layer obviously is the bliss body and the soul and when we get there then we're in the good life we're loving it it's pure bliss the sweetness of life and so yeah exactly it's using each one to get a little bit deeper into the next and I think people talk about it a lot about the importance of like trusting your gut and you know gut decisions and you know actually allowing your subconscious to be a part of your decision making

in your life and we're not always great at that we're so stuck in our heads and our kind of intellect as as human beings and actually again I think there is something amazing about getting that more almost like animalistic human sense of emotion intuition is the strongest isn't it they always say like a mother knows more than a doctor often you know yeah totally and it's and I think you see that a lot in life like you really there's some stuff you just feel and you know it's right and you've got to allow yourself to trust that and but I think again the more connected you are to yourself the more you allow yourself to do that because I've noticed that as well as like I think the more I do this the more I feel like a warm and open person and they're like warmer and more open I feel the happier that I am I think I'm

just like generally nicer both to myself and and to everyone around us and I think also because you'll probably have greater connections when you're more open and then connections what makes us happy at the end of the day. Exactly. And I think there is this sense when you physically open the body, you kind of mentally make space. It's like you have just that little bit more wiggle room in your mind, in your thinking pattern, your thoughts just slow down a little bit. And I think for me, that's what's caused that. And I think one of the things that we've talked about a lot in general, and I think is kind of key to happiness, no matter what you're dealing with in

life is that sense of being present, of being in the moment of being as kind of grounded as you can be. And with life as busy as it is for most people juggling as many things as they are, how do you use the practice to just be a little bit more present, stopping yourself from thinking, you know, I think we have such a when I complex in the modern world. It's like, oh, when I buy this, I'll be happy because I'll look like that. Or when I get this promotion or I finish this project at work, I'll be happy because I'll have time, money, resources, whatever it is for this. I mean, who knows what it is? But like we do so much live with that and I think it creates a sense of never being enough and one of the things that I found

powerful about the practice is that really strong emphasis on breath to bring you back into the moment and I'd love to kind of hear a bit more about how you found that and how you use the practice to stop yourself from relying on those external sources for your happiness and kind of bring it inward and allow yourself to be your own guide to be happy what a big but amazing question let's see where we go um so simple tools for like everyone yeah it all starts with the breath we come into this world on our first inhale and we leave this world on our last exhale. Breath is the cycle of life. Like I said about when I first started practicing yoga and I really got into it because I needed it so much.

And that awareness, that realization that I have not been aware of my breath. And then to come into it and to feel every breath that you are present of is presence and how that affects your whole well-being. And so now if I take it to today and how I bring that into practice or just easy lifestyle, just little changes here and there is simple things like, you know when you've been on your phone too long like my wrist gets sore like my elbow gets sore like you start thinking about comparing yourself and it's like put the phone down rest your hands on your front body take a couple of minutes conscious breaths you know I guess if you don't realize if you're just in this

treadmill of you maybe don't realize the breath so much but because where I am in the practice like oh my god I know when I am really far from it and it's like pull yourself back the breath is the anchor and yes starting the the morning with just a few moments of breath nothing has to be complicated it doesn't even have to be a particular breath technique your simple natural inhale and exhale and just closing your eyes and feeling that. And yeah, maybe your mind gets distracted. Maybe you get bored. Maybe you kind of wish you weren't doing it, but just trusting in the process. And the more that you commit to just a few minutes, a few minutes more, the more it becomes part of your life

and really with this stuff which you guys talk about a lot it's the small changes that make the big difference it's not the I'm going to go to three two-hour yoga classes a week or you know none of that stuff it's more about every day these small habits with the breath that makes the lifelong difference for me for sure and you can do that anywhere like you can do that on the tube when you're instead of being on your phone do the breath when you're walking somewhere do the breath like you could do it right now if you're listening to us like literally just like close your eyes and like take a deep breath in and let it out and you could just do that like three times I do do that all the time. And even the other day, we were away and it was Easter and Matt was really upset.

Just kind of thinking back on this Easter last year with his mom. And I was like, let's just breathe. That's just like, we're walking down the street and I was like, just really take a deep inhale. And then just like, you do that a few times and it's just magic. It is magic. And it's like the freest, most simple, incredible thing. And I guess thinking a little bit more about this, I know one of the kind of cornerstones of yoga is this sense of non-attachment.

And I think it can sometimes be a slightly confusing concept. And I know when I was first thinking about non-attachment, I struggled with it a little bit. Like I understood it much more from a materialistic stance in terms of not feeling like you have to define yourself by what you wear or how you look or whether you buy this top or that top or that bag or that bag but defining yourself much more by like your internal compass and your emotional side but I struggled with it on a kind of human level of not being attached to people around you. But I would love to talk a little bit about non-attachment and how, I guess, yeah, slightly trying to stop defining yourself

by, you know, whether you own this or own that or wear this or wear that and how that can, again, be quite powerful, just making you that little bit happier because you stop being so reliant on things that aren't you totally so if we go back to when I first started my yoga journey I was always known as being the actress my mom and dad say oh yes that's the actress and I was really attached I guess to this identity and I knew myself through the identity of like being an actress and so it was a real unravelling and journey in my early 20s when I decided not to take that route when from three years old it was everything that I said I was going to do everyone listen I'm going to be an actress and then spending a lot of my late teens and early 20s trying to prove to everyone, look, I'm successful, I'm doing it.

And then when I realized this is not the life for me, this is not making me happy. When I got rid of that identity and I was no longer the actress, who the hell am I then? And, yeah, letting go of the attachment of that identity I guess would be answering the question on that level in my experience from my understanding of it but in the practice in yoga practice we can look at it as well as being non-attached to the outcome so I think we're all especially living in London or a big city or living in the west it's likely that we're big achievers and we really want to do well and we want to show people we're doing well we're doing our best and it really comes from a good place but in society

a lot of the focus is on the end goal the outcome like what do you do how did you do what was the finish you know this finish line and it's really stealing the joy from the journey it's the same the minute you step into a yoga class that 60 minutes 90 minutes whatever you're doing we are going to steal the joy of the practice and all there is to learn and experience if it's like when I do that handstand I'll be a yogi it's like no let every breath and every experience and every fall and fumble be the journey and then go back to your life take it from yoga into your job and same thing like it's not the end goal because we'll die and we'll we'll be like god I missed my life yeah and so for me non-attachment means that like non-attachment to the outcome and coming back to that present breath

and allowing this to be enough without reaching for all the other things allowing this moment to be enough and breathing into it I guess allowing yourself to be enough as you are right now today. Doesn't matter whether you buy that or do this or lose that weight or any of the rest of it. You are enough right here, right now. And try not to be attached to anything that could be in the future because God knows what's going to be in the future. Absolutely. And again, I keep quoting my best pal Iyengar but there was something else they wrote down that really resonated and I think for me like obviously on a physical level my body's changed so

much while I've been pregnant and that's been a good like very humbling process I guess because your body's changing every single day and comes with a whole load of hormonal changes as well and again I found the practice quite grounding because I was like it just doesn't matter if I can touch my toes or I can go upside down I can do any of it what am I trying to prove I'm trying to look after myself to look after my baby and just be in a better mental space and like letting go of what anything looks like trying to be the best in the class I don't care if I spend the whole class just sitting in child's pose. I'm just there to kind of be grounded. And I think this quote for me is like,

it's come to see the practice in a whole different way. And he says, if you think that learning to touch your toes or even stand on your head is the whole of yoga, you have missed most of its bounty, most of its blessings and most of its beauty. And I think it's so true. And I remember one of the first classes I went to, because, you know, we had a lot of readers questions, which we'll come to in a sec. But, you know, people saying, you know, I'm not good at yoga. I went to a class and I was so bad. How do I start? You know, I feel like I'm not fitting in in the class. And actually, that's not what the class is there for. And I think it can be really easy. And there's no judgment to anyone who kind of walks into a class and thinks those thoughts

because I've felt them totally. And who hasn't felt them? But I think coming back to everything we've talked about, which is that that physical part is just like a teeny, teeny aspect. And the physical part is really just a tool to help you get that kind of quieting and that tuning in and that kind of quieting and that tuning in and that kind of framework to be happier rather than it being happiness coming from yeah like standing on your head or going upside down or or any of the rest of it one thing I wanted to touch

on I think this leads on to it quite well is Instagram yoga and I am certainly not one to judge on this and I actually think social media is amazing because for me like I get a huge amount of inspiration from seeing your practice or seeing other people's practice and quotes and things that people share and I love that but again I think this sense of comparison because you can see someone who's been practicing for 30 years and can do all kinds of crazy contortionist things or, you know, they're in unbelievable shape because they're a yoga teacher and they spend hours a day doing a physical practice, which of course is going to naturally change your body. And

maybe you do a 12 hour desk job. It's fundamentally different lifestyle, but it can be so easy to slip into that space of comparison. And I would just love to hear your thoughts on that and this isn't just about yoga but I guess how we can kind of I know you talk about that quite a lot about not getting too kind of het up in that yeah I think okay of course Instagram yoga there's there's pros and cons but we have to remember when we see a video of someone practicing or like we see a pose or something like that on Instagram or on the internet on any kind of media that there is a story behind how they got there so lots of people like will DM me or message me like how long did it take

to do the splits or like how long did it take to do the handstand and all of that is fine and it's natural of course I get it. But there is a whole story behind, just like what you were saying. These things happened over decades, like you say, or five years, or maybe you're teaching yoga, so you're practicing yoga a lot in the day, or you're very physical and you just can't even compare yourself to if you're just starting out. And I think like anything on social media, if you're following someone and it doesn't make you feel good or it makes you feel like you don't deserve to be practicing yoga,

unfollow just like any other realm that you would. And for the people that you see something and you're following them and it inspires you to move because you're like, God, it looks good to move right now. Like now like you know sometimes I'll see someone doing a flow and I'll be like I can tell that that feels amazing get me on my mat now they're the people I want to follow or the people that they write about yoga and it like hits you in the heart and you're like yes yeah and it gives you that reminder of changing your thinking in that moment in that moment absolutely I don't want to follow anyone like you know just just be mindful about who you're following it can be a great tool to be inspired but remember there's a big story behind

that person who's putting their feet behind their head and maybe maybe they're not even really practicing yoga and maybe they're being quite unkind to themselves you know maybe they're not even really practicing yoga and maybe they're being quite unkind to themselves. You know, maybe they're not even warm and it's hurting their body. So take it all with a pinch of salt. There's some really great people out there, but like all areas of Instagram, there's a lot of crap.

So just being really mindful and what feels good, follow it and what doesn't, just unfollow. Okay, so I have a few readers questions now this was the most common readers question lots of people saying they've tried yoga a few times the reason that they've really struggled with it is that they can't turn their brains off or you know basically like sitting down and being still basically sends their kind of thought processes worries anxieties into overdrive because they're sitting in that stillness.

And they find sitting in the stillness actually quite terrifying and challenging. And I wondered if you had any thoughts or tips that you've seen from either yourself or all the students that you've worked with on this. Well, totally. And I've been there and I feel you and it's normal. But leaning into the discomfort sometimes, although really not an easy thing to do that positive aspect of it of those moments where it really is challenging or you're like oh god like I'm so bored or my mind is running a million minutes an hour whatever that phrase is you know what I mean a million miles an hour a million miles an hour and when you're in that moment just like anything it takes practice it's not going to happen and be easy overnight and to remember these first layers of yoga and to be gentle and kind to yourself give it another try and if you can not run away for the meditation if you really cannot sit on your own or with yourself

these apps are great headspace a great app i'm sure you talk about it cam's a great app yeah there is help out there and like start small don't think okay today i'm good in our meditation you know like start small those few minutes few breaths is great these small changes make a big difference yeah i remember when matt's mom wasn't very well we would go down every weekend to stay with them and we'd come back on a sunday evening and we would go out for dinner every sunday evening it's like our date night and our chance to kind of re sort of ground and connect with each other but I would always go to yoga first and I would never want to go because I would feel very emotional after a difficult weekend often and I would be I guess as was saying kind of

scared of sitting with all the emotions and you know my biggest fear was like of not being a good partner to Matt and drifting apart from him and how to support him and all those kind of concerns that I'm sure other people have had and I would be so resistant you get in there and you're like oh oh oh and then after like half an hour you do feel a sense of softening and you start to think oh god and those thoughts come up and sometimes they are uncomfortable but you do start to again realize what it is that you're worried about what it is that you're genuinely anxious about and then I think I could often take that away and act on it and it almost like worked as a filter system to be able to understand that

and without tapping into what those things were it was quite hard to do anything about them and it really as much as sometimes it felt a bit sticky and not always that enjoyable it was really really helpful actually in a way of kind of forcing myself to sit with things that were uncomfortable because pushing them deeper wasn't going to make them go away and I think it's important to like bring that into the spotlight a bit that yoga it's not always going to be an easy journey and that's why it's so beautiful because we have to feel the difficult sticky crappy parts to really feel the amazing joyful parts we can't really be in joy without really feeling grief or whatever it is you know we need to experience all emotions and so for those at home who are new to yoga or they're starting out like god it's hard like my mind's driving me crazy or it makes me emotional it's kind of part of the journey and

there is beauty in in feeling it all I guess it comes back to what we were saying in the beginning this isn't even about yoga specifically like that's the same with everything in feeling it all. I guess it comes back to what we were saying in the beginning. This isn't even about yoga specifically. That's the same with everything in life. Totally. Life isn't just like this giant happy rainbow. You've got to sit through difficult stuff to find the rainbow. And it's just a tool to help you do that. And so one last really good question is,

how do you dive a little deeper into meditation? Well, you've got to start somewhere, I guess, to just show up. You ain't going to dive deeper by not doing it. Like I've said a few times already, it's this continual practice. So like showing up for yourself daily and whether that's five minutes, eventually 15, 45, whatever, great. What I like to do personally is 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at night that's what's most beneficial for me and it means I can do it and over the last few years that's how I feel my meditation is best and also to not like be like oh I have to do meditation like tick you know you see on Instagram it's like meditate tick yoga tick yeah washing tick it's like meditation and yoga is not another tick and my

friend Daisy is a brilliant example of this she's like do it because you want to do it and find that place in yourself that wants to do it not like oh I've got to go and meditate and yoga because then it's just like another torture it It's another to-do list. And really setting up the space where you want to go and do it. I know that's easier maybe said than done, but that's really how I find that you're going to have a deeper meditative practice and make it more like daily, you know, just a few minutes every day and then gradually more and more and more and more.

Yeah, and as you said, you've got to make anything in life life it's got to be enjoyable to be sustainable so it can't just be something that you're completely forcing so we're going to wrap up as we're doing with every episode this season with five or so takeaways for listeners who've been listening to this and they've been enjoying it and something's resonated with them. And what are the five things that you would recommend that people kind of take away from this? So we've not actually mentioned it, but for me, this is the biggest part of my practice. And every single one of the people who are listening to this can do it. It's so manageable and it's so profound and potent and powerful is intention setting. So every day and a few times in the day, like even when I was on my way here, I set an intention, like let's create this really beautiful space of sharing. So setting an

intention every morning, like maybe it's a statement. I have everything I need. I am safe here. I can do what I want to do, whatever it is, whatever it is that's calling to you, taking an affirmation, a statement every morning, and then setting an intention like when you walk into work or you've got this really big presentation or you're going out and meeting friends on a Friday night setting this intention like I really want to connect I'm going to connect with my friends from the heart and have these really beautiful intimate moments setting an intention and living with intention for me is the biggest change that you can make and it's instant as soon as you have an affirmation in the morning

and you repeat it a few times with the breath honestly there is a subtle change already like it works on such a deep level and anyone can do it whenever I'm having a difficult time I make mine so simple mine's just like I am grateful you say it to yourself a lot and then you go off the mat and it just gets into yourself a little bit and you do that every day for a little bit and it builds up and just reminds you of these really simple things focusing in on something like be kind be grateful it's amazing the difference it can have totally the second takeaway is to be of service to give without the expectation of anything in return so just simply maybe giving someone a

smile, making your flatmate a cup of tea, helping someone in need, volunteering your time. And maybe you think you don't have enough time to volunteer or to give, but honestly, when you do these things, you will realise that you get more time and what goes around comes around. So by giving you will also receive. And then some books I wanted to share with you guys, which I think are really, really interesting and useful are the Yoga Sutras, The Power of Now, Eastern Body and Western Mind is a brilliant book for learning more about the subtle body and more of the yoga philosophy. And then finally, an autobiography of a yogi. And then finally, sun salutations. So sun salutations on a physical level. We're working through all chakras. We're saluting the sun and it connects us to all the great yogis and everyone who's practiced these practices for so long and it's such an amazing way to wake

up salute the sun more than salute the sun salute this new day and this new opportunity yesterday maybe was shit but today is a new day and a sun salute it's completely that it's saying today's a new day and thank you I've woken up I'm alive here. Here we go. I love that. Steffi, thank you so much for coming in and talking to us. And I hope that you've all really enjoyed this. If you have, and it's been interesting, please do share it with your friends, with your family. If you are enjoying the season, please do rate it, review it. It makes a world of difference. And we will be back again next week. And you can flow with Steffi on our app as well she is the most phenomenal teacher you can probably hear Austin saying goodbye to you as well have a lovely lovely

day everyone don't forget to breathe bye you're a podcast listener and this is a podcast ad heard only in Canada reach great Canadian listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a pre-produced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Libsyn ads. Email bob at libsyn.com to learn more. That's b-o-b at l-i-b-s-y-n.com.