The Wellness Scoop - Cultivating Happiness and Living With a Glass Half Full, with the Happy Pear

Episode Date: October 30, 2018

Looking at happiness and purpose through community, self-care, living with passion and building a glass half full attitude. How to stop living with a When I Achieve X or When I Have Y outlook and start being happy where you are. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hi, everyone, and welcome to the Deliciela podcast with me, Matthew Mills, and my wife and business partner, Ella Mills. Hi, guys. So over the last couple of episodes, we've looked a little bit in different ways, but at mental health and the fact that at the moment, we seem to be struggling with it a little bit. And at the beginning of September, I was in Dublin on my book tour. And I was invited down by the Happy Pair, which I'm sure lots of you will know, to come swimming with them at six o'clock in the morning in the Irish Sea. And I had this moment and I've been working since five in the morning. I'd done two radios, two TVs, two events, a photo shoot, four interviews. I've never, and it was like 10 o'clock at night and I was so tired and I was driving down to the middle of nowhere on my own. It was like 10.30 and I was like, what am I doing? I'm going swimming at six

o'clock in the morning with two complete strangers. Like, have I lost my mind? And then I got there and it was one of the best experiences I've ever had in my life. And I realized I definitely had not lost my mind and arguably found it. And I met Dave and Steve from The Happy Pair and they are literally the happiest people on the planet. So today... I can vouch for that. We've had 10 minutes together and I am buoyed. So basically we want to talk about how on earth you cultivate such a brilliant glass half full attitude how do you create a life that you really really want to live where your kind of passion your purpose everything your hobbies all come together as one and you basically have as much energy as you guys that's what we want to know. What a wonderful intro.

That was beautiful. I feel like, what do I say? Well, first of all, welcome. Thank you. It's an honour to be here. So can you guys just give us a bit about the story and then maybe from that we can pick the bits of... So I guess we grew up in Greystone's little small town in Ireland

and we're identical twins. We're both now 38 and we're super into health and happiness, but that wasn't always the case. Dun, dun, dun. Intro, intro, backstory. We were studying business. We were a pair of overachievers, like hyper-competitive identical twins. So at the time, like first year business, it was all about, right, Steve, we're going to be millionaires.

By the time we're 30, we're going to be billionaires by 40. And like, we're just going to kill it. And that was kind of our definition of happiness. And by the time we finished university, it was like, I don't know, there's got to be more to life. So we ended up kind of questioning things. And we went on separate voyages of self discovery, like little kind of, it was like, it sounds really twee, but that was the kind of reality of it. I went off to vancouver and mostly i went there because as a twin you you live up your whole life as a wee so it's like how to learn

how to be an individual and be vulnerable and for the first time in your life be called steven because most of your life you're called dave steve flinner which one are you but it was like i'm steven wow on my own it felt but i ended up going and i met a guy from greystones and he said i could sleep on his floor and in the apartment was a guy from Australia who I just met. And we kind of got talking and he was cooking his dinner. And he was this cool surfer dude and I was 21 and highly impressed. I was like, wow. And he was cooking lentil sweet potato and coconut.

And we grew up in Ireland eating the standard meat and two veg diet. I didn't know what the hell a lentil was. I didn't know, what's a sweet potato? In Ireland, potatoes are everywhere, but a sweet potato doesn't exist. And coconut milk is like, how do you milk a coconut? I was genuinely baffled. And he cooks this soup, and I taste it. I was like, wow, those lentil things are gorgeous.

And we got to talk more, and he told me he was a vegetarian. And I was like, a man can be a vegetarian? Because up to that point, I'd never met a man that was a vegetarian. And if I did meet a girl that was a vegetarian, I was like, oh, sorry. You know, because we were such carnivores. So I got talking more and I kind of said, can I eat what you eat for the week?

Like, I'm genuinely fascinated. So for the week, we were eating like black beans and quinoa and millet and like what I would have called hippie food at the time. And at the end of the week, I called Dave up and was like, Dave, we're highly competitive. I was like, Dave, I think I finally have one up in you.

I've decided I'm a vegetarian. And lo and behold, I decided the same thing a few days earlier. Yeah, like, so I feed him to it, technically. Who's the better vegetarian now then? Or even vegan? Or even vegan? Well, that cues the next part of the story. Thank you, Matthew.

We ended up, I guess, being hyper competitive. We ended up, like, he became vegetarian, so hyper competitive. We ended up like he became vegetarian. So I became a vegan and then he became a righteous vegan. And then I got into raw food and he got into raw food. And then we got into cleansing and fasting. And over a couple of years, we really explored diet and wanted to see if we could eat ourselves to enlightenment or to perfect health or what it was. And we were trying everything alternative. We like spent a lot of time on organic farms and living in spiritual communities and meditation centers and anything alternative, anything alternative. We like spent a lot of time on organic farms and living in spiritual communities

and meditation centers and anything alternative. Anything alternative. Like I lived in a cave behind a waterfall in Costa Rica for a few weeks with all these yogis.

So we tried, we hitchhiked right the way from Central America up to Canada. We lived on yurt farms. We, and anyway, one day Steve calls me up.

We were 24. This is 2004 at the time. And Steve said, Dave, Dave, do you want to try and start a health food revolution? And I thought, oh, cool. Yes, that's great, Steve.

And he says, do you want to start a vegetable shop? I said, a vegetable shop? What's that got to do with a revolution? He said, Dave, trust me, trust me. So at age 24, we came back into our small little town in Greystones and we borrowed 100 grand from the bank and we started a little vegetable shop.

And we'd left as two, like, I guess, two guys who'd done degrees in business and we were very much bought into the American dream of money makes you happy, all about materialism. We came back two hippies with long hair, polyester shirts, plaid pants, painted fingernails, and a strong offensive body odor because soap was bad. And a lot of people in our town and village was like, what happened to the lads? Like, you know, they were going places

and mum and dad's friends from the bridge or golf club was like, they're definitely selling drugs out the back. I know. You know, there was this kind of like... And just to clarify, we weren't. But it was a sense of pity. It was like, jeez, the lads have really lost their way, haven't they?

And I guess that's, you know, it's gone from that to now where there's, you know, that was 14 years ago. And it was always the next step. So you had the vegetable shop. Vegetable shop. And it was really, we wanted to set up as a charity. He was adamant, this is a charity.

This is about a social movement. This isn't about money. It was about using business as a vehicle for social change. And it was all about trying to create a healthier, happier community. It was, and in essence, at the most, if we look at it at the most selfish level, we had come back and changed our lifestyle so much that if we wanted to sustain it, we needed to get community support. And at that time, like our friends from the rugby club or the golf club, it was like they wanted us to go out and get drunk and chase women. And like our days were kind of done with that. We wanted to do yoga and drink green juice and like talk about lentils and swim in the sea.

So we kind of had to get new friends. Yeah, because I wanted to ask you guys about that because there aren't very many as you said at the beginning like actually there's a bit of a stigma around kind of males and vegetarianism veganism but that in general one of the questions we get all the time at deliciously i don't i'm sure you guys get the same as i've changed my diet i've kind of gone on this spiritual path i feel amazing my friends think i'm nuts how do you get people to kind of come on that journey with you i think like when we first started we were very righteous and preachy and we found when you're righteous and preachy like i hate being told what to do i'm quite

thick-headed and i'm sure everyone no one really likes to be told what they do so we found over a number of years that it's much better just not preach and just do your own thing accept people where they're at and try to if you do want to sustain it try to get the support of others around you that are into it like if there's a lone vegetarian

that was always slagged go and be mates with them and talk about lentils or you know do whatever it is and you'll support each other because ultimately if you do want to sustain

a lifestyle change it's about having a community around that will support you I've got two interesting things in that I was going to say one is a friend always says he says you'd attract more people being a lighthouse A lighthouse attracts more people than kind of preaching to people. And then the other kind of metaphor is you attract more wasps with honey than you do with vinegar. you're living a happy fulfilled life if your life has changed people will be quite curious as a group they might not but individually they might go I've had this funny digestive thing you seem

to have cleared that up when you turn what are those lentil things you know like like I remember mom and dad you know it like when we first changed our diet they like being an Irish mother she mom was always like love was food like she was if we didn't eat her food we were we were refusing her love so that was a huge contentious issue. And she was like, what? What kind of a man are you? Like, you're a vegetarian. And she said also to the things, but like, she certainly didn't come to it initially, but she's probably been eating a vegan diet now for about 10 years, you know, her own dad.

Yeah, I found the same with my friends and family. The first time you start, they're like, what? What are you doing? You remember, like, the first time I made a green smoothie, they're like, it literally looks like you're drinking a swamp. That is disgusting. And then I would just be like, oh, I've made a little bit extra. Does anyone want to try it?

And then they try and be like, oh, OK, it's quite nice. Exactly. And then just over time, they would kind of share. Now my family exactly the same. They're mostly all vegan, vegetarian and absolutely love it. And never in a million years would have, I think, believed that they would ever go anywhere near that direction if you'd asked them kind of six, seven years ago. So it went from me and Steve with a total, a pair of hippies with this crazy idea 14 years ago.

And it's kind of grown into where there's three cafes, two shops and a farm. And we produce a whole lot of products employing about 130 people. So it's changed like from this crazy little idea to where it's kind of grown over time into a business, I suppose. And kind of a movement, really, like the way we kind of describe it as a movement to try to create a happier, healthier world. That's kind of it in a nutshell. It's amazing. It's a great laugh.

I think the thing is a lot of people, what's I think inspiring about that, and I'm not sure the stats, but the stats are kind of massively high at the number of people who want to be freelance, who want to start their own business. And I think there's a huge kind of rise at the moment in entrepreneurship, in trying to create a life that actually makes you really happy. Because

ultimately, like what you do day in day out, if you hate it, it's going to have a big impact on your well being. And you guys took an idea that was a little bit nuts at the time, you know, wasn't exactly kind of of the norm. And you brought it over and you made a career out of it because you loved it. and i'd be really amazing to hear like a few tips or ideas for people listening on how they take their passion and maybe start to make it kind of their reality so they can actually start to cultivate that life that they really want to live brilliant i was going to say i read a really good quote yesterday that as a kid you're kind of told you're encouraged i follow your dreams follow your dreams for your

dreams but then as a parent you're once you're an adult you're told oh don't be stupid that's mad oh geez you're crazy just get a job you know so so i think it's more you've got it like society kind of quells you almost and you're kind of set up from school you're kind of told what to do and then you go to university and you're kind of told what to do and then you get out and like now you're meant to start thinking for yourself so it's almost you've got to really look inside yourself and trying to find what you're really passionate about. I think that's the biggest journey. I remember when we went away

as 21-year-old, Steve said, right, I'm going away. I don't really know what I'm interested in. I don't really know myself. And he said, I'm going by to win my ticket to Canada and I'm not coming back until I'm happy

and I know what I'm interested in. And that was his journey to go figure out what he was interested in. And I think it was fortunate for us in that we're twins so there was immediately a support. There was this we, this protection that if anyone gave out to me, David, jump on and protect me. And I think

if you do want to start your own business, anyone listening there, try to get support of someone that believes in it and someone that brings a different skill set. Because often someone starting a business is quite creative and quite different. But a business that exists within capitalism needs to be financially responsible. So I think it's good to have someone that's good with figures, you know, just because there's contrasting skills. That's why we started working together. I think that would be my little advice

is try to get support and try to enjoy it. The more you can enjoy it, the more it's fun, the more it's sustainable. Can I build on that one? Yeah. I was going to say that I think like, if you're starting with the right reasons where you really want to have an impact and you want a meaningful life I think you've got to

if you're having fun you're going to attract people to help you whereas if it's work and toil and hardship it's going to be more of that like it's people aren't going to want to help you

you'll find more roadblocks whereas what I found with me and Steve we started and we were literally like like we that was we were having so much

fun. Like, this was, we wanted to do it all day and night, and the amount of people that wanted to help you. Like, they didn't want money, they just wanted to help you. And, oh, did you try this? Did you try that? And it kind of just snowballed and became this thing. It is infectious. Yeah, and the roadblocks just seem to kind of move to the side, you know. So I

think if you can find something you're really interested in is number one, because if you're passionate and having a ball, people will get in behind you, and before you know it, the ball, you know. So I think if you can find something you're really interested in is number one, because if you're passionate and having a ball, people will get in behind you. And before you know it, the ball will be rolling. But I think back to even just aside from business, the other purpose of this episode is about happiness. I think the other thing about happiness, we've done a couple of episodes on mental health

and Ella raised some stats earlier. And I think that when it comes to happiness, happiness is a proactive thing that you have to go and seek as well. You know, it's not like you can just sit there and hope that you'll be happy or it's going to hit you exactly or if you're not happy continue to do the same thing and and hope that it's just going to somehow change happiness is something you have to go out and proactively seek and you have to do the activities each day find um different practices different people you can hang out with different ways that

you can proactively seek to go and be happy just like you guys talked about you know you went to canada to go and seek your happiness yeah you have to you have to properly go find it it's not just going to come to you and it's something that you have to really internalize and and create the ways forward for yourself something on that that uh according so the blue zones are the areas of the world where the people live the longest kind of, you know, there's the most amount

of centenarians. So there's kind of five parts of the world where they've lived the longest kind of proactive, wholesome, healthy lives. And according to the blue zones, the number one thing

we can do for our happiness is the people we surround ourselves. It's our tribe. It's our community. It's not, it's not kale. It's not yoga.

It's not meditation. It's the humans we surround ourselves because we're such, you know, social creatures. And I think nowadays the biggest cause of disease in the planet, you know, it's not heart disease. It's not cancer. It's really loneliness and isolation. And you see it like I think community. We're all humans that need to collect. And particularly as young kids, you know, I see we've got five kids between us, not together.

Like when I bring them to the playground, they immediately play one another. And they make friends and they're so like, they've such a sense of belonging. Whereas adults, we have to be more, you know, we have to kind of step outside of ourselves. You know, there's that study that said you typically become like the five people you hang out with most. And so surrounding yourself with that good tribe is absolutely key. And I think social media can get a really bad rap, that it can be negative and it can create more of this, you know, faraway fields are greener. But I think with the intention behind it,

I think for us, social media is incredibly connecting. And I wouldn't have got to hang out with you guys if it wasn't for social media. And I think everyone listening to this podcast is unique, is specialist, idiosyncratic, is weird, is strange, is unique. And I think the more you can find other people that share that same unique, special weirdness, the more you can connect and share and feel like,

oh, you understand me. You know, the way you get me. And I think social media can enable you to connect with these niche areas of culture. And the more you can find people that are like you or your tribe, the more you're going to feel fulfilled and happy and, you know, understood. So do you guys have any other practices that you do on a kind of day-to-day basis that help because i know you have your swim yeah just and this happens every single day three or six five days yeah yeah yeah yeah

break things down to practicalities like we're humans where where we have a full range of emotions as well as happiness overwhelmed and sad and all those kind of various things so we're not complete lunos we're normal um but like we have set up certain things that help enable us to stay up probably more than possibly other people i don't know if i'm right or not there but five tips for health five tips for health and happiness okay number one i think it's the basic and what you guys stand for completely into delicious health is eating more fruit and veg because eight out of ten people in the uk don't get their RDA of fibre, recommended daily allowance of fibre. And 55% of calories, according to a friend, Dr. Alan Desmond, who's a gastroenterologist,

55% of calories in Britain and Ireland are hyper-processed foods, ultra-processed foods. So I think as a nation, as humans in the West, we really need to eat more fruit and veg because it's higher in fibre. We're eating too much refined foods. And by that, it's not about being veggie or vegan. It's just making baby steps and starting with where you're at. Then point number two, I'd say, is movement. We're mammals.

And, you know, modern day lifestyle is set up to be sedentary. You know, you get up, you turn on the light, you turn on the heat and it's a little cold. You cook your porridge, you boil your tea, you get in your car, you drive to work, you get to work, you sit down at your computer and you work. And then at the end of the day, you go to the gym for an hour because I got to move. But what I guess Dan Buettner's work in the Blue Zones is it's not like an hour strenuous exercise a day.

It's continuous movement throughout the day that's much more beneficial to our health. What they found is that sitting down too much is it's like the modern day smoking. So a simple metric for that is to try to get 10,000 steps per day. Because I used to think, Mom recently got a Fitbit, you know, one of those little... I was sitting, I was up at breakfast with Mom there the other Sunday, and she had one of these Fitbits, and she's 67,

the great Ismae Flynn, and I was sitting there going, oh, she's got one of those Fitbits, and I was thinking, oh, that's just for you and your friends, you know, like ladies who play golf and whatever. And I was sitting there, I was going, oh, how many steps did you get? And she says, oh, about 22, 22 000 that's my daily average i was 22 000 yeah that's what she said and at the time i had no reference i thought oh she's cool and uh and she says to me oh i think your phone counts them for you dave and i take out my phone and i start looking i'm like

7 000 6 000 8 000 she's like oh she go on. And here we are as these kind of, we're always talking about health and everything and I'm kind of going, wow. So 10,000 steps I think is a really basic thing that if you live a busy life, particularly if you've got an office job, I think it's something that's a really basic measurement. And I think if you do have an office job, drink lots of water so that you're hydrated

and you've got to go to the toilet so it gets you to move. Because our primary fuel source is oxygen and then it's water and only then is it food. So I think the more water you drink, the more hydrated you are and the more you have to get up and go to the toilet so you've got to move like because our primary fuel source is oxygen and then it's water and only then is it food so i think the more water you drink the more hydrated you are and the more you have to get up and go to the toilet so you gotta move yeah so it's nice so that's number two what's number three number three is back to what we were talking about it's community it's humans we become the products of the five people we surround ourselves so it's about connections we all want to feel

belonging we all want to feel accepted and part of something. So I think community is such a massive thing and something that's been a huge part of our lives, you know, which we've tried to really build and cultivate. And even like, say, we swim in the sea at sunrise, and that kind of just happened by chance. And even like the idea of it when we first started to swim in, why did you do it with a group of people?

Yeah, but it kind of started out, we used to go down to the sea at sunrise. Like we were total anti-tech, because like if you start an organic food business or fruit and veg shop, tech isn't necessarily your, you're kind of going an opposite direction. And this is in 2004 where there was, you know. Yeah, phones were kind of coming out and we were quite, you know, a bit luddite in our approach. But we were asked to cater, do juice and smoothies at the, what was it called, the Web Summit, which was, which subsequently has become the world's biggest tech conference.

But it started out in Dublin by a friend. And we went into the mansion house and we were making juices and smoothies for this fella called Jack Dorsey that founded something called Twitter and this fella Reid that founded something called Netflix and some fella Nikolai that founded this thing called Skype. Didn't know what any of us, didn't know anything about it. They were just dudes that we were serving. And afterwards I was going, wow, this tech stuff is kind of interesting and quite sexy.

It must work out what a Twitter is and what a tweet is and how you work this thing. So he bought smartphones, and Dave was walking his daughter, Elsie, to sleep, as you do as the sun was rising in Greystones, and took a picture and put it up on Twitter. And people seemed to really engage with it. I was like, wow, the sunrise kind of symbolizes hope,

a new day, innocence, purity, connection with nature. It's like, wow, we'll come back tomorrow. So we started going down to the sea at sunrise and we'd take pictures and some days we'd swim. And I was down one September and it was a manky day. You know, it was raining, it was windy, it was horrible. And I was like, I was taking a picture because it looked beautiful. And there was a guy there who was coming out of the sea and said, are you getting in? And I was like, no.

And he said, listen, I'll mind your stuff if you get in. And I was like, you know when a man challenges you, you can't back down. Male pride. So I was like, okay, right, I got to get in. So I got in and we got chatting after and he told me his name was Neil. And I was like, okay, cool.

And he said, see you tomorrow. Same time, I was like, okay. So I went and met him the next day. And then the next day, Caroline was in the beach and Caroline, Caroline, you want to come join us? And she came and joined us. And the next day, Hugo came and joined us, then Fran did.

And kind of, we just took it day by day. And before we knew it, the sense of togetherness and the sense of facing this obstacle together, the sense of community meant we did it all winter. And it was such crack. And it sounds obscure. And like even say I'm walking down in the middle of winter and it's raining, it's manky, it's miserable, it's cold, it's damp. And you're kind of going, am I crazy? But then you get in the water and and that cold water just shocks you.

It brings you back to the present. Suddenly, you're kind of like, wow, I can hear the birds. I didn't even notice there were birds. You kind of forget what you're worried about. It's like the sea reminds you how small and insignificant you are. So how many people do you do it with typically every day now? It varies. Like, say we do a public one where we invite people.

You could have 500, 600, 700 people. They're amazing days. But on an average day, it varies. If it's raining, a people and they're amazing days but on an average day it varies if it's raining a manky day could be three on an average day it could be 50

you never know and I guess it was the most amazing experience when I did it honestly it was absolutely incredible and it was such a great reminder as you said

of kind of nature just the simple free things in life totally and that's what we were talking this morning just prepping for the podcast and saying I think there's this sense

that happiness as you were saying is so connected to the materialism. And it's like when I earn enough money that I can buy a Ferrari, I'll be happy. When I earn enough money that I can buy one of the biggest mansions in London, I'll be happy. When I can earn enough money to do all these huge things. But actually, it's realizing that actually we have so many amazing tools in front of us right now that make you happy and that bring you back. And everyone always says happiness is about being present. And it's about being in the moment with the people around you, with what's around you. And there is something amazing about diving into the ocean or something like that.

It's a simple free thing. And even for those of us who aren't lucky enough to live by the sea, there's so many things like getting up, going on a run, going on a walk, going to yoga. Meeting friends and going to whatever sport you're into. Just sweating. We all have like a couple of hours before work. You know, if your work starts at 8.39, you've got an hour or so before work to actually do something that's for you, that's for your happiness. And yes, you might not want to get up when your alarm goes off, but you will always feel

3,000 times better for it. And it's just, as you said, you have to go to the happiness. The happiness doesn't come to you. So if you wake up, roll out of bed, get on the tube, go to work, sit at your desk all day, go home, watch Netflix, go to bed, you're not really chasing the happiness

and the happiness doesn't magically fall into your lap. And it's almost like a self-fulfilling cycle. Totally. You make one simple change that you go, okay, me and my friend, we're going to get up and go for a walk for half an hour every day before work. And what you might find is through this half an hour work, you might walk.

You walk, you make a friend, you make a connection and they introduce you to some another friend and something else happens. And then, oh, geez, maybe I'm going to start eating a little bit better. And it kind of it tends to be like a snowball effect that one positive change kind of might lead into another. And before you know it, over a period period of a year you're a totally different person than you were. One topic that you raised there

which we've been kind of I guess having enjoyable philosophical debates about is like when is enough because in modern day society we're all pushing we're all striving What if kind of drives everything

when I drive everything I must get more likes on social media when my business is bigger when I have that big fancy apartment or house in London or whatever it is.

And I think ultimately, like it's something that we all struggle with. But I think it's, as you said, ultimately, it's to try to come back to the present moment and appreciate what we have. Because for many of us, we can be caught up with wanting the next thing. But ultimately, if we can come back to the present moment and realise how lucky we are to have these bodies. And I know I'm saying a cliche and something that many people go, rolling their eyes, but it really is the more you can do anything that brings you back to the present moment,

the easier it is to experience joy and to contentment. What I was going to say, like if you think about your perfect day, like if anyone is listening, just close your eyes for a sec and think like, what would your perfect day be like? If you were told you've got one more day to live,

you probably wouldn't be off shopping for a Ferrari. Maybe you would, I don't know. But there's a high probability it would be simple things. It would be, I'm going to have breakfast with such and such. I want to go out into nature. Point number four is sleep. Sleep, yes. Sleep.

And it sounds so, oh my God, sleep. But as like where two men that grew up in a family of four boys and went to all boys schools and like males were our role model like it was like sleep was for weaklings we don't the less sleep the better and this was the kind of the role models which we grew up in and so it kind of took us until we had our kids that we realized oh my god like sleep is and in the last few years we've really got into we've really read a lot about it we've listened to a lot about it and we've kind of read really talked about and prioritized it and what we learned is do you want to tell one thing okay even even two simple things

men who get six hours sleep or less typically will have the testosterone level of someone 10 years their senior and testosterone as a man is really important obviously for all functions of our body and also for muscle mass and generally anyone who's listened who's curious about weight loss typically anyone who gets six hours sleep or less typically consumes two or three hundred calories more and of those calories choices what are they like if you imagine okay so say you're you've only had six hours sleep you're feeling a bit tired you come into work and work has decided to buy brekkie for everyone and it's a big spread and on one side you have like you know there's chia seed puddings and there's like coconut yogurts and there's porridge and there's lovely bircher

mueslis and all this and the other side there is croissants and donuts. You've had six hours sleep. You're feeling tired. You're feeling a bit, you know, just a bit groggy. What are you going to pick? The croissant. Absolutely. And probably a donut too. And you got any coffee? You know, because typically if you do get six hours sleep or less, you're going to consume 200, 300 calories more. And those calories are going to be largely refined calories. So if you are curious about that, I think three simple, anyone who's listening, who kind of wants to sleep better, I think three simple, I guess, tips. First of all, regularity is most important to sleep. Try to go to bed at the same time. It works with your circadian rhythm. Might sound weird. It might sound crazy. You go, I can't do that. It's easy

for you. But it's to do your best with it. Let's say on a Friday night, you go out and you stay super late, you know, try to get up at the same time and just have a nap because the more you can keep regularity the easier it is your body cycle is going to be consistent and smooth second thing is light

so artificial light typically has a blue spectrum which reduces our melatonin production or slows down our melatonin production so try to reduce the artificial light

light candles reduce your exposure to artificial light so typically someone who goes to bed say at 10 o'clock and lives in an artificially lit environment, if you bring

them out say camping in the Rockies where there's no light pollution, typically they'll get tired and want to go to bed at 8 o'clock, two hours earlier because their melatonin production, their sleep hormone is a lot higher. So things you can do is to try to reduce your exposure to artificial lights, set your mobile phones where it's on that night setting so there's less blue-green

light, try to reduce your exposure to your phones and screens. And if you can even, if you're hardcore, we both have those amber glasses which they block out the blue-green light. So I do wear them

from about 8 o'clock in the evening but I'm obviously a bit extreme. And that supposedly helps in the production of melatonin and I light candles and I do all the, take the boxes. And point number three

is to try to have your bedroom slightly cooler in temperature to the rest of the house. boxes point number three is to try to have your bedroom slightly cooler in temperature to the rest of the house yeah there's three top tips and sleep sounds boring it's like ah sleep

but it's the foundation of health it really is and anyone who's young kids out there can totally relate to you know you go around

like a zombie and you're just not you know you're not at your best function at your optimum and brings us around to our last one point number five

I think many people think health is kale, it's yoga, it's turmeric, it's the next superfood, it's tai chi, it's qigong. Health isn't just that. Health is a combination of many factors. Like, at least in Ireland, we have many kind of grandmothers who are, you know, 95.

They've smoked 50 cigarettes a day. They drank a bottle of whiskey. And many people go they're not healthy, but they lived a long life because they weren't stressed. They had a good laugh. They had people around them and they probably were very active. So I think health isn't just one thing. And it's to try to joy is an incredible, incredibly beautiful thing.

And it's extremely beneficial to our health. There's no point you sitting there eating kale going, I hate kale. That's not healthy. You're doing yoga going, yoga's for, you know, do things that make you happy and do more of it. I love that. Beautiful. Was that love that beautiful was that good yeah no it's so true and i think it's so easy again to put off your happiness it's like i don't have time to be happy now like i've got a big deadline at work and busyness is almost a currency that we trade in now it's like how are you i'm really busy and if you say yeah i'm really good things things are things are great people are like oh you must be failing oh are you unhappy oh you're

not working hard exactly it's like can I say one last point 5b 5b okay authenticity 5b 5b authenticity I think in modern day society at least growing up in Ireland and England we're in an ultra positive environment you must be happy you must be really on the go you know in at least in Ireland we say as a means of greeting it's like how are you and the response is good good good and you you know and it's the same in England it's you know you seldom go I'm tired I'm overwhelmed I'm stressed you never like we we grew up our business is called the happy pair and we grew up in I guess this very positive environment and my wife's a clinical psychologist and Justina would regularly go so like tell me

your range of emotions and i go i'm kind of lucky i only have like three emotions pretty much i have like happy i have horny and i'm tired and hungry hungry hunger is an emotion isn't it so i wasn't raised with this great emotional awareness and she was like all emotions are good they're so important and if you don't express them they're going to just come out and be expressed in a different means and probably more stronger and more traumatic. So she's been really helping me to become more aware that it's okay to feel overwhelmed or anxious or worried or stressed.

So I make it a conscious effort when people ask you, how you feeling? I'm going, I'm a bit overwhelmed or I'm a bit tired or I feel a bit stressed in my back. And really making an effort. And the more I do it, the more the person who would have gone great they go yeah me too and then suddenly it's like oh wow we're actually yeah being honest and there's a greater connection so I think that's a really important thing because even again I'm becoming more aware of intimacy

and the key to intimacy is exposing our vulnerability so if you do want to connect and be honest you must show what you really are. So we wanted to do a little quick fire round more on your food. So I know I saw you guys do some videos recently, which I loved, which were about cooking healthy food on a budget. Because just bringing it back

to more kind of practical sense of cooking healthy plant-based food, there is a sense that it's expensive and there is a sense that it's connected to superfoods and things like that what are your kind of top tips on doing it on a budget many people think like you know as you said it's superfoods it's goji berries oh i need acai powder i need all these expensive things like medicinal mushrooms and things yeah yeah it's all about chag it's reishi whatever it is but like what we recently did is we went to the local supermarket and we gave ourselves okay let's see if we can cook a dinner for a euro.

You know, let's. So we got five euros to cook dinner for at least five people. Yeah. And we did a whole series of videos in this. And even we went there with 20 euro and we said, OK, see if we can cook enough food for a week. But one hour because one of the biggest things we say, I take so much time and it costs so much money on like it's just I'm just going to have the pizza. I'll just get the burger and the pizza. So we kind of gave ourselves 20 euro.

We spent 17 euro for it, and we couldn't believe how much you get for 20 pounds. Because even if you think about it, it's seldom you leave the supermarket or wherever you shop going, oh my God, the broccoli was so expensive. Those lentils. Generally the most expensive parts in people's shop, it's the refined food, it's the animal food,

it's the meat, it's the fish, it's the cheese. Typically you don't go, oh, those pui lentils. My God, they're ridiculous. Because in essence, if you're trying they're ridiculous because in essence it's like if you're trying to eat more whole foods it's traditionally what's known as peasant food you know it's fruit and vegetables or as pulses which there's so and that was like that's what we've done a hundred of videos in this and that's why we've really shifted our focus onto quick simple dinners that are really democratic and that's what you do with all your books yeah

and i guess exactly trying to show people it doesn't have to be that way because that's such a big barrier yeah huge barrier and like we brought in a book earlier this year which was recipes for happiness which is all totally on that

which we've got budget things we've got meal plans it's all quick and it's simple to try to make healthy food accessible and make it less baffling

and it's amazing when you meet people who really aren't into it and wouldn't be at all and they go I cooked your chilli and you're like you cooked our chilli I know I get like that that as well i think the great thing as well is there's

so much awareness now about this food and people are eating it for so many different reasons for ethical reasons for health reasons for environmental reasons and so even my dad who's been like a devout carnivore and cheese i'm pretty sure he thought i was mad the first time he met me and i had lunch with him yesterday and he said he's eating a vegetarian diet for all the last week and i was like oh my god like what yeah so it really is it's happening okay next question and favorite breakfast at the moment i'm loving cheesy puddings i know it sounds very tweens what way you would a chia seed pudding yeah i love chia seed pudding I usually have a few breakfasts, two or three. I thought yesterday's breakfast

was hard to beat. Dave took two Alfonso mangoes with us, which sounds very aspirational, but many people will buy like 15 euro on a bottle of wine and they won't spend three quid on a mango.

But we had a mango each, like big, and we peeled it and just ate it like cavemen on the floor of the airport. We had a punnet of blackberries and we had a bowl of porridge and it was beautiful.

It was so simple and it just felt beautiful. Fresh figs are hard to beat at the moment. Yeah. Favourite speedy meal? Dal. Dal. Yeah, simple five-minute dal.

I'd go with sourdough with toast and kimchi. Nice. I love that. Yeah, and hummus I think is a great meal. Oh my God, hummus. That's my favourite food of all time. He hates hummus. It's the worst thing.

I know, can you believe it? In what way? I don't know, just like the texture of it hummus it's the worst thing I know can you believe it in what way I don't know just like the texture of it smell just the whole thing just kind of weird

I'll always be eating in the car and he's like open the window yeah it's so bad it just freaks me out wow we produce

we produce so much of it my little son like literally would swim in hummus I would swim with him in hummus we used to as kids growing up we used to have ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch that was just what

it was and white bread or mom used to get us deep brown bread but like my kids go to school with hummus hummus is the new butter like they have hummus and wholemeal pita breads and that's their you know that's the kind of sandwich bit i would love their lunchbox okay um and then um best tip to getting your friends and family kind of happy to come over for dinner that might be plant-based when they're not sure about it? I think just invite, don't even mention anything. Like immediately don't mention anything that's going to jar them. Like invite them over, tell them,

oh, I've been exploring Thai food and I'm going to cook a Thai, you know, focus on that element as opposed to what they're not going to have. So just focus on the positive, the deliciousness. And they might get swept along with the excitement. I think even when we started our business, The Happy Pair, it's in a small community, like 10,000 people, and we never labelled it vegetarian or even, dare I say, the vegan word. It was just healthy food.

So people would come in regularly and they'd see on the board, it would say chickpea curry and they'd go, could I have the chicken curry? And you'd go, yeah. And you wouldn't tell them. And they'd go, and they'd go, geez, that chicken curry was lovely. And then the next day they'd come down and they'd get maybe the shepherdless pie, but they'd think it can I have the chicken curry? And you go, yeah. And you wouldn't tell them. And they'd go, and they'd go, geez, that chicken curry was lovely. And then the next day they'd come down

and they'd get maybe the shepherdless pie, but they'd think it's a shepherd's pie. And it'd maybe take two, three weeks and they'd come down, I never knew it was vegetarian. You know, so it was, I think the main thing is don't even mention it's vegetarian or vegan

because it's binary. Just say, we're cooking healthy food. It's going to be a Mexican night. Can you bring guacamole? Something like that or something just simple and inclusive. Like I think when you're new to this lifestyle it can be it can be a big deal you know it really can it's like it's the center of a lot of conversations and it comes you eat that way yeah whereas i think as you get more comfortable and you don't want it to be the

topic of every conversation so it's like it is what it is it's just life and i think when that happens it becomes a lot easier because people roll with you and as soon as you can predict how they're going to react that you can kind of counterbalance

or you can just diffuse it okay and favourite food of all time mango or figs no I'm just going to go with black mission figs at the moment

they're in season okay so anyone who doesn't know figs right they're the most elegant fruit I just think they're incredibly beautiful and if you can get

organic Spanish organic French ones the black skinned ones and you rip them open and there's just this big pink flesh that's like jammy and gooey and then you break it in

they're magnificent I just cannot recommend them more we get the idea there is passion for figs here like I've never seen in my life I love it Matt what is your favourite food

quite clearly as well hummus no I don it Matt what is your favourite food quickly as well I don't know if it's just food but Ella cooks this Sri Lankan curry that is just absolutely off the chart you can eat that

for breakfast lunch and dinner I'm pretty sure we had some friends over on Friday night and Ella cooked it and it is just so good the balance of it

it's seriously good and now Ella you've got answers it's going to have to be hummus. Just to run it on my face. It's going to have to be hummus, but in every different variety. So like a smoky garlic beetroot one, like a smoked paprika red pepper one, I made a sweet potato miso one yesterday with steamed sweet potatoes,

miso, almond butter in it. Oh, it was like, yeah. And so one question we asked all of our guests that come on is what's one mantra practice saying that you guys live by each day?

To create happiness. The easiest one ever. Our granny, the great Mae Flynn, she was like our role model and the queen bee. I love that she's called Mae Flynn. My daughter's called Mae

and I named her after her. But she was, she was just such a special person in our life and she used to say our motto was be happy

have fun that was it you know she said life is you lads just like having fun that's it so I think there's no proof

that life is serious we all go around taking it very serious but really there's not like if you look at kids that are free and kids on average smile 200 times a day

whereas as adults we smile 15 times a day. Really? Yeah, 15 times a day. And a good one would be 50. Like a human. So I think

if you look at kids they move a lot more. They're a lot freer. They don't take things serious. They're much more present. So they're very friendly. Like they immediately they'll strike

like I watch my kids in the playground literally they'll go up and we'll leave and they'll have made five friends versus as adults if you say hello

to someone it's like what do you do whereas kids don't even what do you do they just suddenly go and they kick a ball and they start playing yeah it's not like who are you and what's your social background and it's just more box gonna put you in yeah yeah so i think the more we can do that the more be happy have fun i think it's nice to have fun it's brilliant okay so for everyone who's listening to this they're gonna leave and you guys have an incredibly infectious personality and they're gonna be like'm going to be like the happy pair today. So what are three things that they could do today? Like three just little switches in their thought process or three things to be kind of conscious of to cultivate that happiness, to flick to the glass half full.

I would say number one, be kind to yourself. I think that's most fundamental because we can be our own worst critics. But the most important relationship you have in the world is with yourself. So you have to start by being nice to yourself. I think that's most fundamental because we can be our own worst critics and we're looking at... But the most important relationship you have in the world is with yourself. So you have to start by being nice to yourself and if you can't be, you've got no chance. And that's a habit which you've got to really be conscious of yourself when you start criticising yourself.

Oh, I'm too, I don't look good. You know, it's like be kind to yourself, be nice to yourself, be forgiving. I think that's the most fundamental one. I think in our experience, like having someone like, we're very fortunate that we're twins and it might sound facetious if I say if you can find your twin it makes life a lot more enjoyable.

Find someone that you can share the journey with whether it's business, whether it's sport, whether it's relationship, it just makes life more richer. Someone that you can laugh with and not take it too serious. I know as a twin it makes it a lot easier to just, even really stressful things, you can end up laughing and having a great crack.

And it was like, oh my God, that was hilarious. And crack is fun, just in case. In Ireland. In Ireland, that's the Irish word for fun, C or A-I-C, just in case you think we're talking about drugs. Okay, so today you're going to be kind to yourself. You're going to find your person. And then what's the third thing we're all going to do?

I think eat more fruit and veg and move a little more. I think those are just so simple, such basic, simple little things that are, you know, as you said, what habits and activities can we do that help? Last and final one, we were training with cool friend Tony Riddle, a natural lifestyler, and he was saying typically people who live in an urban environment spend over 90% of their day indoors. So he was trying to challenge people to spend two hours outdoor a day. That's a lot.

And he was asking people to just time themselves, just because many people get a bit of a D deficiency. Many people just don't get out in nature in any shape or form. And London can seem a really urban, very concrete environment. Today we walked through, I can't remember that park, but it was stunning, like the autumn trees. It was just like, oh my God, London is so beautiful. But it's like, it depends on what lens

you look at it many people get up straight into their tube and the tube can feel like a rat race straight to work straight back but if you can take

a few minutes just to walk in nature it can be very remind you of your own insignificance and just like wow we're part of a greater system

that's magnificent I love it well guys thank you I'm definitely leaving feeling inspired honestly this has been seriously seriously uplifting

I've actually had a really stressful morning. I came in here and I was a bit like, and then I feel like a new guy. Thank you. It's a pleasure. Thank you guys very, very much. And if you have any feedback on this episode,

we would love to hear it. So please do review it. Please do rate it and share any of that feedback with us. And otherwise, I hope you can tune in for our next episode and definitely subscribe. There'll be a new episode coming out for you every Tuesday. Thanks so much, everyone. You're a podcast listener, and this is a podcast ad heard only in Canada.

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