The Wellness Scoop - Manifesting, creating your dream life and adaptogenic mushrooms with Roxie Nafousi

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

I’m joined by self-development coach, manifesting expert, and author, Roxie Nafousi. Roxie turned her life around by practising manifestation and shifting her mindset. She is deeply committed to helping others see the infinite power that lies within them so that they can create the lives they desire. We discuss: What manifesting is and why it can change your life The importance of being clear on your priorities The myth of willpower and discipline from a place of self-compassion How sitting in discomfort is the way forward Why letting go and stepping into the unknown is a power move How to cultivate self-trust and self-love Each week I unpack a wellness trend with GP Gemma Newman. This week on Fact or Fad we’re looking at adaptogenic mushrooms – are they healthful or overhyped? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh, hi there! I'm Norma, the unofficial mayor of the Town of Destiny. Speaking of, FanDuel's Kick of Destiny 3 is happening live Super Bowl Sunday. You should watch. It's gonna be a hoot! While you're at it, download FanDuel, North America's number one sportsbook. You can bet on touchdowns, turnovers, heck, even total kicker points, don't you know? Anywho, enjoy your podcast or whatnot. Please play responsibly. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connectsontario.ca.

Wellness. What on earth does it mean? And why would we need to unpack it? With over 58 million hashtags on Instagram, the topic has really never been more prominent. But, and there is a but here, three in five of us feel that wellness is incredibly confusing. We want to feel healthier, we want to feel happier, but we have no idea what's clickbait and what's genuinely health enhancing. Who's an expert and who's peddling absolute nonsense and look I am right here with you on this at times I've also found this world really hard to navigate. So welcome to Wellness Unpacked our new podcast hosted by me Ella Mills author entrepreneur and founder of Deliciously Ella. This series aims to do just as it states,

unpack the world of wellness with expert guests. These guests will be sharing with me and with you their three pieces of advice for a better life, to feel healthier and happier. This is a show and a conversation that's about progress it is not about perfection it's about helping you make small simple sustainable changes and within that I'm going to be testing out a different wellness trend every single week intermittent fasting celery juice, collagen, ketogenic diets, CBD, you name it, I'll try it. I'll then unpick the trend, separating fact from fad, with my friend and NHS GP, Dr Gemma Newman. And together we'll be equipping you with the tools that can genuinely make a difference to your life and well-being, and equally helping you potentially put to one side the trends that may make a little bit less difference.

So are you ready for episode eight? Our eighth guest on Wellness Unpacked is self-development coach and the queen of manifesting herself, Roxy Nafusi. You might have heard Roxy's story before or seen her best-selling book Manifest this year. In 2018, Roxy reached a crunch point, a real low in her life. After a decade-long cycle of low self-esteem, poor self-worth, drug and alcohol abuse, she listened to a podcast, podcasts of very powerful things things on manifesting and everything changed after that her three pieces of advice center around your relationship with yourself the idea that we've got to understand our values and the importance of realizing that not everyone is going to like us and that is okay it's honestly an incredibly powerful episode and I cannot wait for you to hear this

one. If you do enjoy it, we've got a new collaboration that's just gone live with Roxy on our Feel Better app. So get on the app or if you don't have it yet, there's still a couple of days left to take advantage of the one month free September offer. So just click the link in the Deliciously Ella Instagram bio. Well Roxy welcome to the show. Oh thank you so much for having me I was honestly so honoured to be asked. I was saying to you a second ago I started following you when we were both pregnant and my little girl and your little boy are pretty much exactly the same age so I've been following you while you've had this extraordinary it seems like both a personal and professional let's's just call it a journey, over the last few years. And I'm really excited to get into it because I think there's so much about what you share that will just resonate so,

so deeply with everybody listening. But before we get into all of that, we always ask every guest the same question. And just to understand a bit more about you, and I'd love it if you could tell us what wellness means to you. So I think wellness to me is just about feeling your best every day, which is also what manifestation is about. It's about empowering yourself to put your best foot forward. And wellness is an integral part of that and actually I'm so glad to be talking about wellness because I think people talk to me a lot about manifestation and not realizing that wellness is the heart of it how you treat yourself how you fuel yourself nourish yourself how you move and that for me is just an act of self-love so I don't know I don't know if I've answered that very succinctly oh no absolutely and actually before we get into your journey I'd't know if I've answered that very succinctly. Oh, no, absolutely. And actually, before we get into your journey, I'd love it if you could, because you are the queen of manifesting, it'd be fair to say.

And it's obviously something, again, I'm sure our listeners have seen a lot in the media and it feels like a very big trend this year. How do you describe it? What does it mean? So manifesting essentially is using the power of your mind to change and create the reality you experience. But for me, manifesting is a self-development practice. And I would even say that manifesting is the umbrella and then all of self-development and healing really falls underneath this kind of manifest umbrella. And a lot of people think that manifesting is maybe just about visualizing

what you want, but really it's a practice of empowerment and self-belief. And it's about being the change you want to create and goals are a part of it, but really it's about making your life the best it can be and knowing that you're worthy of it. And it's interesting with that and the way you describe it, because I think sometimes the way it comes across, not with you, but just the word and the topic in the media makes it feel a bit like, I'll close my eyes and I'll imagine my dream house and I'm going to manifest it. But the way you talk about it is actually a much more internal project about understanding who you are and your values and working with that, being quite disciplined to an extent with that

every day to feel your best in order to create the life you want. Yeah, definitely. Because you can't just sit and wait and wish for anything to happen. I think it really is about being proactive and it is about work, both inner work and doing the work needed to get to where it is you want to go. And so, you know, there's nothing passive about it. And actually, there's also nothing magical about it. And I always say it feels really magical when these incredible things happen or, you know, when you put something on a vision board and, oh, my goodness, six months later, it's there and it seemed unimaginable. That feels really magical. But it's not magic.

It's actually just changing your energy, changing who you are and becoming so ready to step outside your comfort zone that you're able to make these incredible things happen. And you talk there about changing who you are. I'd love before we go into your three pieces of advice to talk a little bit about your own story, if that's something you're comfortable with. Obviously for me with Delicious Yellow, it all started from a very dark place and a very personal journey. And so I really relate to a lot of what you talk about. And could you take us back a little bit to what got you interested in this self-development and how it's changed your own life so I would say that before I discovered manifesting I truly I never ever knew what it was like to be happy and I never knew what it was like

to feel even an ounce of self-love I didn didn't grow up in, I would say, like an emotionally stable environment or with any emotional validation. And I started rejecting myself from my earliest, earliest years. And I certainly never felt I fit in anywhere. I felt I just hated myself. And that kind of took me through body image issues as a young child, which I think stayed with me for much of my life, and then went into addiction to cocaine, alcohol. I was smoking 25 cigarettes a day. And essentially, I spent my life escaping from my pain and myself. And I think when I was 27, yoga was one thing I had basically found at 21 for back issues. I was doing Iyengar yoga, and that had become my safe space,

and after many rock bottoms, I thought, you know what, I'm going to, I had no career at all, and I thought, I am going to try and be a yoga teacher because yoga is one thing that I really enjoy, and actually what I used to love about yoga thing that I really enjoy. And actually, what I used to love about yoga and going to classes was, you know, the beginning or the end where the teacher would say something inspiring to you and you'd have this moment. And I thought, I'd really like to do that. So I'll be a yoga teacher and maybe I can give some inspirational speaking at the beginning or the end. That's kind of originally what I thought I would do. So I went on this yoga teacher training course in Thailand and thought this will heal me because I'll be meditating and I won't have access to drugs or alcohol or cigarettes. And I was really determined. And I got back to London in May 2018 and within 24 hours I was taking drugs again and I thought oh my god I'm

never ever going to change this is just my life. And did you find as you were going through these cycles it was almost just making it worse because you continued to have that kind of challenge of self-esteem and the sense of I'm trying to make a change but I can't make a change. Yeah well it's like that thing if you if you keep saying you'll do something then you break your promises to yourself you break your self-trust and then that leads to shame guilt and that's why I say now actually following through with with whatever you say to yourself following through with your commitments to yourself is such an important part of self-esteem because it's building that self-trust and that self-confidence. I just felt hopeless. And my friend said to me, oh, you should listen to this podcast on manifesting. And at that time, my friend is very, she's like this ethereal

goddess. And I thought it was something really woo and magical. And I listened to this podcast on it and something just clicked and from there everything changed in such a rapid way and yeah I really truly have manifesting to thank for everything in my life I've achieved and all the healing I've done since then. So after you listened to this podcast and you had that kind of penny dropping moment what did you start doing differently in your life so the first thing I did was I wrote a vision board of like the kind of person I wanted to meet and then I started listening to positive affirmations at the very beginning and that's something I still do now and using mantras and that's really because I understood

that our self-worth was this driving force behind manifesting. We manifest what we subconsciously believe we're worthy of, and that we could reprogram our subconscious beliefs about ourselves. And then listening to affirmations or using mantras was one way to do this. And I read that as you're falling asleep, as you're waking up, and when you're in a meditative state, your subconscious is most susceptible to positive messaging. So I thought, okay, well, I'm going to fall asleep to these positive affirmations every night. And it's one of those things that you don't see the effects straight away. You just have to trust it's doing something. And I did trust it. Actually, my dad's been talking to me about neuroplasticity since I was a kid. So I feel maybe it was ingrained in me a bit.

But it wasn't overnight that everything got better. It was a really long healing journey. And it was, you know, you have to start to uncondition yourself with all these toxic beliefs we have about ourselves. And that is definitely a process. And it's a journey I'm still on. I was going to ask you that, which that because I'm such a believer in the fact that I think in this industry and the world in general we so often want like an easy answer and a quick fix I think you're very clear in the fact that what you're doing isn't that it's actually daily inner work to move forward but I wanted kind of how long did it start to take you to feel like something was shifting in your mind and in your mindset? I think because I fell

pregnant quite soon after finding out and I had really horrific prenatal depression. And so I actually went into probably the worst place of my life. I had no crutches to fall back on when I was pregnant. So everything came up for me. But I would visualize regularly when I was pregnant that once I gave birth, I would become the best version of myself that existed. And when I gave birth to Wolf, I would say that was almost my starting point. It wasn't even so much discovering manifesting. If I think about it now, it probably was the day that Wolfie was born that I was like, I'm, that's it. I'm going to change. So the first thing I did, because I'd

gained over 30 kilos while I was pregnant with Wolfie, because I was just comfort eating. And of course that not so much about the weight gain, but as you know, what we eat is directly impacting how we feel, our serotonin levels, everything. So the first thing I did was change my diet and start exercising when it's safe to do so. And that was actually the catalyst for me. And when Wolfie was five months, I hosted my first self-love workshop. So actually, because I was so determined and so disciplined and I was so clear on my priorities, I knew I never wanted to go to that place of mental pain again. Actually, then it was pretty quick, the change. Within six months, I felt like the best I had ever felt in my life.

And since then, I always say it's a bit like this upwards journey, but within each up, it's a little dip, you know, and it's two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward, one step back. But, you know, after every low or rocky patch, I always know there's an up level on the other side and a greater level of healing. I love that you acknowledge that and that it's's I think we often look at other people and we see their journey and it feels very linear and the fact is is I think that's probably impossible but I feel what you said there leads us so nicely onto your first piece of advice which is the importance of being clear in your priorities can you tell us a little bit more about why that's so important to self-love and self-esteem. Yeah, so it was actually when I had first met Wade, I was in it amongst all my other toxic addictions. I had a really bad binge and

restrict kind of cycle going on. And it was so extreme on either end. And I was constantly feeling rubbish in myself. And I hated the restriction because it was self-punishment and I wasn't happy and I wasn't enjoying that, obviously. And I hated the other side where I would binge and I would binge on sugar and things that made me feel horrible, lethargic, and then guilty and all those things that come with it. And Wade has just always been a very healthy, mindful eater. And he just said to me, like, what is your priority? And I was like, huh? He was like, well, your priority is clearly to feel good. So you really should stop binging on shit and then having to go on some like extreme diet or retreat afterwards to feel better about yourself. And I was like, oh yeah, my priority is to feel good.

So I should act from my priority. That should be my decision maker. And it sounds like it's the most simple piece of advice and yet it changed so much for me and I realized that having a clear priority is your decision maker so imagine you've got a you know when you're trying to make any decision and you go to your partner or your best friend and you go oh what should I do should I go to this restaurant or this restaurant for dinner should I wear this or this oh you might be asking the biggest thing should I break up with my boyfriend or not? Whatever it is. You always go to your friend to help you with these decisions. But actually, you should be using your priorities as your decision maker in as many instances as you can. And that means that you

don't always need to look to everybody else to help give you the answers, but you can find them internally, which of course will make you feel more confident and make you feel better. And so if you know, okay, right now my priority is to reach this goal at work, then maybe that means that actually, okay, for example, last night, I am so exhausted. I won't lie. At the moment, I am exhausted, but I have something I'm working towards. And so last night, when actually all I wanted to do was just like switch on the TV and watch Kardashians and do nothing. I was like, do you know what? I know I just need to sit down and get this to-do list out my way because I know that I've got a busy day tomorrow. And right now, that's my priority. And maybe in a few weeks, my priority will be rest and recharge. And right now, that's my priority. And maybe in a few weeks, my priority will be rest

and recharge. But right now, I know this is what I've got to do to feel my best. And so that made the decision for me and alleviated any of that kind of should I, shouldn't I, what should I do? And the same goes with anything. And just being very clear on right now, what's your priority, and knowing that that can change day to day, week to week. It's especially important, I think, and I don't know if you'll agree, when it comes to rest, because so many of us don't rest guilt-free. You know, I always see people on Instagram going, oh, I feel so guilty. I did nothing today. Or I have been feeling really unwell. I'm so sorry I haven't been showing up on Instagram.

You know, and they make these apologies for resting. And I've definitely done, and I'm sure you have, where you just want to do absolutely nothing. You feel like you should be doing something. And I hear that all the time. I feel like I should be doing something. But actually, when you can say, right now, my priority is to just recharge because we all need to recharge. We cannot pour from an empty, I never know, is it an empty tank, cup, jug? All of the above.

You can't pour from an empty vessel. And so, you know, by knowing, right, today my priority is rest, actually we can enjoy that rest and sink into it so much deeper. And it sounds to me like a lot of this prioritization which by the way completely agree with is very personal though and it's really having a good relationship with yourself to be able to understand what those true needs are and to be able to separate that from what other people expect of us or what society expects from us as you said in terms of this culture of busyness and go go go have you got any advice or kind of any experience in your own life on how you become very clear in your relationship with yourself to understand what you genuinely need irrespective of other people and I don't mean to get rid of your responsibilities obviously you

know you're a mom you know that that's you know key part of it it's not, you know, you're a mom, you know that that's, you know, key part of it. It's not to bypass that, but you still need your relationship with yourself, as you said. Yeah, I think there's actually two things you can do. I think the first thing is using something like a vision board or a goal setter so that you know what you want and what your goals are, and then you can't be so easily influenced by other people's opinions all the time is helpful at the beginning and then doing so in a like sacred and quiet environment with yourself and then reflecting and having that initial space of clarity is going to help you so that like you say when you know you have this societal pressure or pressure from your friends you were like actually I know this is something I created in my own time, my own space, and I know what I want and where I'm headed. But also, I think so much of it is about developing self-awareness. And so I created this journal with

the head plan. And one of the reasons I have in it on the first page is self-awareness checker, and it's how am I feeling emotionally and physically and part of self-love I think is understanding your humanness and knowing that some days on that scale you're going to be quite low on it and other days you're going to be feeling like superwoman and self-love is honoring where you are at each day and when we practice self-awareness and that check-in every day it becomes more ingrained with us but if you're just starting out doing a kind of like morning check-in of like how am I feeling and then maybe an evening check-in how am I feeling any better what did I do today to improve that or what today didn't really work for me and was actually making just gaining that like

self-awareness that clarity understanding yourself um with practice at the beginning really helps that long term and i'm i'm quite obsessed with this and i know it's something that you talk about this idea the willpower doesn't work and that this isn't an easy journey it kind of sounds easy to some extent to say just check in with yourself but you know you i'm sure be the first to say it's like sticking to that and continuously showing up for yourself especially when work's busy or you've got things in your life that are really difficult and emotional both personally and professionally I just wanted to understand your take on the importance I guess of acknowledging the fact that there's being happy in the long run requires that sense of kind of discipline and that I assume your own journey hasn't been easy yeah yeah I mean it's

such a good question and I would say that actually the thing and I you must hear this as well is that what people always say is I started it and I gave up or I had good intentions and I was feeling really good I was really committing to you, more nutritious eating plans or intuitive eating principles or checking in with myself every day. And then I stopped doing it. And I think what the balance has to be is this self-love from a really compassionate place and self-discipline from a place of self-respect. And really everybody's priority should be, one of their priorities should be to feel better, to experience life in the most

fulfilling and enriching way possible. And to do that, we have to implement these healthy habits and stick to them. And they have to be non-negotiable. And ask yourself, do you want to feel better in your life? Yes. Why? Because feeling better will enable you to improve your relationships, to feel better at work, to reach your goals better, and to stop accepting less than you deserve. And so to do that, what do you need to do? You need to commit on days where you don't feel like it. And knowing that some days it's not going to feel like you're jumping out of bed to do it is okay. Nothing has to be easy all the time. It doesn't mean we have to shy away from it. It's okay to feel uncomfortable and to sit in discomfort. That's not going to kill

us. You know, I think sometimes we just want everything to be, feel easy all the time. And it doesn't. It doesn't always feel like that. We were talking about exactly this on the show last week about the importance of physical discomfort because that is the reality of life. And as you said, we're quite quick to shy away from it

or to potentially take up habits that we don't particularly like for ourselves in order to hide from it but you can't really hide from it you'll be hiding forever and running forever and I guess in that willpower isn't the answer it's not about whether you've got good willpower or bad willpower we're all effectively the same yeah absolutely it's just your priorities where do you want to go how How much do you want it? And can you understand that self-discipline is self-respect? And you've said this a few times and it moves us on so nicely to your second piece of advice, which is that as part of this, you've got to stop settling in your life and in yourself.

Could you tell us a little bit more about what you mean by that? Yeah, so this is, and actually I would say this is a really big part of manifestation and spoiler, in my second book, Manifest Dive Deeper, there's like a whole section on this. We manifest, like I said earlier, from what we subconsciously believe we're worthy of. And I say that the universe, which is just an energetic force greater than ourselves, is always listening to everything that we're doing, everything that we're thinking, the way we're treating ourselves. And settling is a sign to the universe that we don't believe we're worthy of more of the things that we really want to attract into our lives. And we settle for a number of reasons, but mostly because of this insecurity or insecurities that we can't really have the things that we want or out of fear. And that could be a fear of offending someone. It could be a fear that if we let go of this thing we have, we won't find something better.

And we allow fear to constantly drive us and cause us to settle in our relationships, our jobs, and in ourselves. And I think everyone would agree that they probably would like more from their lives in some way. And I don't mean materially, but most of us want to feel better. Like I keep saying that, but most of us want to feel better. Like I keep saying that, you know, we want to feel better. We want to have more joy in our lives. We want more contentment. We want more adventure.

We want more. But we can't have more in a lasting way whilst we are settling for less than we deserve. And settling for a life that doesn't really bring us those feelings, those feelings of joy and contentment and fulfillment. And so, you know, we have to let go and create space for better things to enter our lives. And again, that requires you to sit in that place of discomfort and that unknowing and that unease. And that takes being brave. And I think that when we do that,

we not only create space, but we also prove to ourselves that we are capable of expanding ourselves, our minds and our realities. It feels to me, because failure is such a big topic at the moment, something we were actually talking about last week on the show, but it's, you know, it's a very, and rightly so, big topic. But it feels, as you were saying, with this culture of fear holding us back and allowing us to settle, almost feels like this kind of quite ingrained fear of failure stops us from trying new things and saying, you know, I actually do want, as you you said I don't think there's anyone on this planet who doesn't want more whether that's just more in a relationship or more in their career or as you said like a better sense of self I think we'd be lying to ourselves if we said we were perfect in every aspect of our life it feels semi-impossible but do you feel like a sense of nervousness of failure and vulnerability and putting ourselves out there is a big part of the reason that we settle so we're scared of being judged yeah it's so funny

I do I talk about that in the book as well and I say that um letting go isn't a failure it's a power move and it's exactly about that because we are definitely afraid to say, this isn't working for me anymore. Because what will people think? Will people think that I couldn't do it and I didn't reach the top and therefore she's bailing? Or, you know, is that fear of judgment? Is that fear on ourselves? We also keep ourselves stuck because we think that we should want the same thing forever. And you might have just changed your mind about something. We all change our minds all the time because we're always evolving and changing and growing. But what we do is instead of just saying, hey, do you know what? I've just

changed my mind and I don't want this thing anymore. We think, oh no, have I just changed my mind because it didn't work out for me? And then does that mean that I failed or I'm not good enough? And actually, it's just going, it's not that big a deal. It's okay to just go, this isn't working for me. It's not serving my highest self. And I just got to change direction. And that's all about your perspective on it. but yeah I think releasing that fear of failure and seeing it as a power move instead it's a it's a powerful thing to go I've changed I want something to change I don't want this thing anymore I'm ready to step outside my comfort zone go into the unknown um that's powerful I know it completely is and I

wondered if there's this sense of kind of pushing forward you know as you said earlier isn't linear by any means you know you set goals for yourself in any aspect of your life and likelihood is you'll take a couple of steps forward a couple of steps backwards and hopefully over a period of time you you do go in the trajectory you want but how do you kind of pick yourself up because you know as you said inevitably there are setbacks and those steps backwards how do you kind of personally sit in that discomfort or find that sense of self-belief to try again I mean on a personal level I think that I firstly totally allow myself the space I

need to process it like I don't I don't know if I should say this but just before I came out sat in Leon and I have had a I just had a really big week and like all of us everyone I speak to is busy overwhelmed exhausted and I just reached my limit and I just burst into tears and I was just like sobbing and Leon calling me. And I was like, oh. And you know what? It was just allowing myself going, oh, my God, I'm just so tired and I'm just so drained and that's okay. And because I've become so adapted, feeling and processing my emotions, I was able to let them out, not judge them, not judge myself, not overanalyze it. And I just went, wow, today is not my favorite day, but I've actually got something that I'm

about to go do and I'm really looking forward to. And I just took some breaths. I know I'm absolutely fine. And do you find in that it's really important? Because I think this is something we all do a lot is like define ourselves by how we feel at that given moment so you define yourself as I'm burnt out I'm exhausted I can't do this as opposed to as you said look I've had a big week and I am I am really tired but that's what I am today. Yeah so you're so right I think that's such a nice way of thinking about actually that we shouldn't define ourselves by how we're feeling. A feeling is transient. It's always going to pass. And it is just this space for self-compassion. And self-compassion is such a vital part of the whole self-love journey. But yeah, it's processing our feelings. It's not

judging them. And for me, the biggest thing and the biggest thing about going through these lulls is this trust. It's this unwavering doubt that I will come through the other side and I will have learned something and I will have grown and I will be ready for the next day or the next chapter. My belief in the whole manifestation process, for example, no matter what I'm going through, has never wavered because I know that after every down day or down patch is an up level on the other side. I truly trust that everything is taking me a step back for me. It's still in some ways a step forward because of the growth that you get through that I think we're all just healing growing evolving creatures and it never ends and do you

feel like within that and it does I guess semi-leaders onto the third piece of advice though that we need to be because I feel this strongly, so much more compassionate towards both ourselves, but also each other in that sense. Which, as you said, like everyone, you know, so many of the people around us are trying their best. And, you know, everyone listening to this, you know, is going out into their world and trying to be the best version of themselves and trying to make changes in their life. And that we're just not always as a collective society kind of gracious and compassionate enough to each other to say you know good for you completely agree and that's why I talk quite a lot about turning envy into inspiration and we do go to like judge other people or we find it really hard I think to be happy for other people as well because this envy is kind of getting to us.

But actually, whenever something good has happened to someone else, when you go to kind of think, God, I can't believe she got that, I can't believe... How about we just start being happy for each other? Because whoever that person is has been through their fair share of shit, right? And heartache and insecurities. Nobody is void from it. And if we could just look at people and just make that mental shift from going, oh, I can't believe she got that or having those negative thoughts about other people.

And if we can just try and go, I'm so happy for them, or I'm sure they're going through a lot as well. Because whatever we're going through the person next to us is as well. So I think that leads us on kind of perfectly actually to your third piece of advice which everything you say I really relate to but this is something that is a quite a personal passion of mine at the moment which is that it's okay not to be liked by everybody. How did you come to that conclusion and why do you feel like that's so important? Get groceries delivered across the GTA from Real Canadian Superstore with PC Express. you come to that conclusion and why do you feel like that's so important? And this is a podcast ad heard only in Canada. Reach great Canadian listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a pre-produced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Libsyn ads.

Email Bob at Libsyn.com to learn more. That's B-O-B at L-I-B-S-Y-N.com. I think of all my pieces of advice, this is my favorite. And I think almost the most important above anything. I was always desperate to be liked by people. Like, I remember from when I was at school, my mom used to always pack me chocolate and sweets. And so I remember that I used to give the other kids at school, my mom used to always pack me chocolate and sweets. And so I remember that I used to give the other kids at school my chocolate and sweets because I would want them to like me. And since then, I've always thought I have to give to receive love or to be liked. And whether that's give myself to men or always be the one to help others but never want it in return.

Or if somebody was nice to me, I would get so panicked that I would have to be triple as nice back to them because I would feel like I owed something to everybody. And when I started really wanting to kind of carve out my own career, I recognized that I kept on having these thoughts of, oh, it's not cool to talk about mental health. And people are just going to think, what if they judge me because I'm talking about my depression or my addiction? Or what if they judge when I talk about this? And I think really quickly I realized that I could never be authentic and I could never grow if I didn't just commit to being myself. And I like to be open and vulnerable and share because I love it when other people are like that because I feel like I can connect to them and I really feel comforted by hearing

their stories. And that's who I am. And so I had to begin to slowly but surely, just every time I wanted to post something on Instagram or go for a job or reach out to somebody, I had to recognize when the fear of what if people judge me or what if that person rejects me and all those, you know, annoying thoughts that we have all the time, I had to recognize them and do whatever I was going to do anyway in spite of them. They were there, those thoughts were there, but I had to rise above them and do what I wanted to do that was to be the most authentic version of myself

that exists because authenticity is magnetic. And so I started doing that and then I realized, you know, especially as I've been growing as an individual and professionally, I'm putting myself out also to more criticism. And I made this realization and it changed my life, which was that nobody on the planet is universally liked. So if I look at any of the people I admire, any celebrities, any of my friends, my family, they are not liked by everyone. There are some people that love them and adore them. And there are people that cannot stand them, judge them, criticize them. And then there are people that are completely indifferent to them and don't know who they are. And that is the same for me. And that is the same for you. And that is the same for absolutely everyone. And knowing that, for me, gave me freedom. I was totally free because I thought I'm never, ever going to be liked by everyone. And I'm totally okay with that. And by being okay with it, I was able to attract my tribe because I could then flourish in my authenticity. I could

flourish in being myself and just put my best foot forward and do me and I would enjoy it more. And my community would grow because of that. And it would be the right community. And I would enjoy it more and my community would grow because of that and it would be the right community and I would have the right people in my life that love me for who I am and yeah it's been the best thing personally but also from a manifesting point of view it's actually essential. Did you find kind of advice one and two had to come before advice three so you need to have that clear sense of who you are really accept that really embrace that and then in that strength you could be vulnerable and say it's okay I'm going to stand up here again both personally and professionally say I'm Roxy this is what believe in, this is how I want my life to look. And I respectfully

let go of any expectation that you're going to like that too. Totally. Actually, I hadn't thought about that, but you're completely right. It's so much easier to relinquish the need for validation externally when you are clear on your priorities, when you know what you want and where you're headed, because you've got a focus that isn't about other people. It's about yourself and your growth and where you're headed. And yeah, and I think anyway, you know, once you begin this healing journey, and even with actually the self-discipline stuff, I would say that comes into this massively because that is building that self-confidence. Everything almost, yeah, does lead into this last step, doesn't it?

You're right. I've certainly just found that in my own life. You know, I definitely found, especially in the early days of Delicious Cielo, existing in any kind of public space, I found it so much more difficult when people didn't like me or were critical of me and I think the clearer I've become in who I am on a personal level and why I want to do what I do the easier I've found it to say don't get me wrong I don't love it when people personally you know like a good old personal attack isn't you know it's not brilliant but I don't mind it in the

way I used to like it used to make me feel very very anxious and really upset and you know do I want to do this is it worth it am I getting it all wrong yeah and now it's as I said I don't love it but it doesn't derail me and make me feel you know I want to pack the whole thing in totally and I love that and I think that's it you don't have to pack the whole thing in. Totally. And I love that. And I think that's it. You don't have to welcome the criticism, but you can also not let it affect you or take you away from what you're here to do. And I think actually you make a really good point, which is that you were clear on your why.

And I think your why and your purpose is actually what's going to be more important than the opinion of others, especially if you're doing something that's to help other people and that you're being of service to others. You know, when I go on stage, when I get nervous before, I say to myself, it's not about me, it's about them. And then I take it away from even myself. So it's not about me or people like me or like the way I speak or whatever. It's about how am I making them feel? And that is more

important than anything that I might be judged or criticized on. Yeah, no, I think that's so, so true. And I guess it links back to your first point, which is that you've got to know your own personal priorities. And those are so individual for all of us. And I have one last question, which I guess is slightly in line with advice three. You know, you're obviously incredibly busy. You've got this incredible career, but you're juggling being a mum. You know, it's so creepy, isn't it? The online world. I follow you online.

You seem very busy. But when you say it's okay not to be liked by everyone, I also wondered your stance on this sense of kind of doing it all, because I'm sure people look at you and they're like, Roxy's got it all figured out. do you feel that we can do it all you can do it all or actually you know is it like a constant juggle yeah I mean it's definitely a constant juggle I think that for example I have like basically no social life at the. And that has had to just take a back seat because my priority right now is my work and Wolf. And that can be hard. And I think anyway, I don't know if you find this, but I am so new to being someone that, yes, I'm a writer and a manifesting artist, but I'm also running a business. And I have never run a business before, as I'm sure you will have experienced.

And I do feel I think I definitely find it hard not having a business partner or someone that can help you or like a business manager. Or it does sometimes feel really overwhelming making big decisions and yeah I'm still overwhelmed and I'm still juggling but you find the joy in each day and you keep reminding yourself of why you're doing it and you make time where you can and you know one thing that I would say I'm much better at with the juggle is that I'm so much more present with Wolf. I think for a time I found it really hard. It was probably in COVID. You know, you're with Wolf or you're with your children, but certainly for me, I was still also like one-hand emailing

and trying to cook him dinner, and I was feeling so overwhelmed. Whereas now, and I think it's easier now, we're back in work and Wolfie's in nursery, and when I pick Wolfie up emails are off like I'm with Wolf I'm present with him which makes me feel better as a mom it makes me feel better in myself because I've not got that conflict constantly and then when he's in bed I finish whatever I've missed in those two hours you know for an hour or two and then I can quickly have my rest before I go to sleep so being present in what I'm doing and being mindful has been really important for me.

Yeah it's a great answer I only asked you that to close because I do think there is this sense of watching everyone else and feeling they've got it all figured out and they can practice self-love and self-care because they wouldn't know what they're doing but as you know as you're attesting to I think the reality is it is a kind of daily juggle and as you said it's just fitting it in around your priorities and where it works for you and it is that kind of discipline to keep coming back to it even when you've got a lot else going on in your life but honestly Roxy I can't thank you enough for this it was just absolutely brilliant so so enjoyed it and I'm sure everyone listening has taken a lot from it as well thank you so much having me and you have like such a calming energy and aura honestly I feel so comforted being around

you so thank you so much. Oh my god honestly no it's genuine such a pleasure. I think for me personally I just relate so deeply to everything that Roxy talks about obviously my own journey with my own health stemmed from being in a very dark place and really digging deep to try and turn that around and I just think that the way that Roxy's framing the importance of our relationship with ourself on this journey that so many of us are on is just absolutely brilliant and I hope you got a lot from it and it is now time for our fact or fad where as you know every week Dr Gemma Newman and I hope you got a lot from it. And it is now time for our fact or fad where as you know every week Dr Gemma Newman and I try out various different wellness trends and see whether they're based in science or they are passing fad. And our fact or fad this week is adaptogenic mushrooms.

These herbal health products supposedly increase the body's resistance to stress, which is something we probably all could benefit from. But are they a fact? Are they a fad? Let's find out what Dr. Newman thinks. So Gemma, this is a trend that I've just got a lot of personal curiosity in. I've tried, obviously ahead of recording this, different adaptogens. I've tried obviously ahead of recording this different adaptogens I've definitely been recommended them by nutritionists in the past I've definitely noticed sometimes taking them you can feel a big effect sometimes less so but definitely as a consumer that doesn't know masses about the world of adaptogens I do walk into high street shops and see them now everywhere and feel very confused

by what I could be taking, why I would be taking it, how much I would be taking, which ones work and which ones don't. And I'm sure our listeners are resonating with that as well. So what is the lowdown on adaptogens? Well, I mean, I could talk for hours on this because I have a huge excitement about fungi, basically. We love mushrooms. I love mushrooms, I do. And when we think about adaptogenic mushrooms, we think of things like reishi and cordyceps and lion's mane. These are kind of names you might see on the shop shelves these are all types of adaptogenic mushrooms and basically these are mushrooms that help reduce the effect of stress on your body and they tend to act on the hypothalamic pituitary axis and sort of regulate then your sort of

hormone control in various ways they also have a known effect on regulating your immune system in various ways. They affect the amount of cytokines the body produces and cytokines are sort of a type of protein that control various processes in the body and it's really complex because you can have different ones that have different pathways that affect other pathways. And so it's actually quite hard to study the specific effects. So there is some emerging really exciting data on cancer, for example, both the effect of adaptogenic mushrooms on chemotherapy, how it could potentially augment the effect of chemotherapy, how it could potentially reduce the side effects of chemotherapy, how it could even be therapeutic on its own. But there are so many questions left still unanswered in that field.

So it's something that I'm really excited by, what could be the benefit? Are there benefits of taking these sorts of supplements? And how do you start to know which ones at which doses to take? And there may be one more question. Sorry, Gemma. Does it matter how you take it? Because sometimes you see, you know, adaptogenic mushroom coffee, or you have kind of supplements in a pill form. I presume that does make a massive difference because the dose would be very different. Yeah. And these are all really good questions that we don't have really, really good answers for. So just to give you an example of where the data can be conflicting, there are quite a lot of animal studies, rat and mouse studies on the effects of various adaptogenic mushrooms, reishi especially, which is known as the mushroom of immortality. And these have shown that the ability of the mushroom to protect the animal against multiple

stresses is something that they've been able to measure but they are not humans and things like cordyceps again that's another one that's been researched in animals which has shown reduced stress related markers increased resistance to sort of physical stress as well like forced swimming in these poor creatures. There are various studies that have been done in the animal model that show resilience to stress, improved immune function, but human studies on specific adaptogens are lacking. There was a derivative of turkey tail mushroom, polysaccharide K, that was given to patients who had stage three colorectal cancer and it was given at a dose of three grams a day for two years in conjunction

with standard treatment therapy and then they assessed the survival and the researchers found that the control group had a 60 survival compared to 86.8 percent in the group found that the control group had a 60% survival compared to 86.8% in the group that combined the treatment with the turkey tail mushroom extract which was statistically significant and then there was a recent trial again with the same type of mushroom which showed that radiation induced decline in natural killer cells which help our immune system was improved again by about a six gram dose of turkey tail and then we have other studies to show late stage cancer patients lung cancer patients treated with reishi which was a 5.4 gram a day dose, showed an interesting improvement in their

immune function, although not everybody had the same response to that. So the mechanisms of these differences amongst and between patients aren't known and haven't yet been studied. So I think, you know, we know that the immune system is affected by mushrooms. We know that our T cells, our natural killer cells, our macrophages all have a response based on how the mushrooms affect our body. But we need more information about how to use that and what doses and if it's something that is even going to be potentially useful for people who don't have conditions that may benefit from it. So, yeah, it's a really promising area of treatment or adjunctive treatment for many people. We just don't yet have enough data.

So I'm going to just second guess this one, that it's almost impossible to categorise it fact or fad because it sounds like it's fact very much in the sense of the research sounds pretty groundbreaking and extraordinary but that there aren't any specific recommendations for people at the moment so recommending everyone goes to their nearest shop and buys x y or z Z in the way that we would recommend that people ate more carrots, ate 30 grams of fibre or moved this many times a week. And that's a kind of classified fact. Exactly. But that's quite difficult. Exactly. It is difficult because it's not something that you can put in. Certainly you wouldn't put it in any kind of cancer guidelines or anything like that because we just don't have enough data by any means, mostly animal studies, a scattering

of cancer studies, and of course, you know, people's claims over the years. And it's hard because I do think it's a fact, but like you say, we need more studies to show therapeutic dosages and regimens and have an understanding of what practical advice to give people. And also just to say that it doesn't come without side effects, just as it can be exciting and useful, it can also be something that you need to treat with caution. Reishi, for example, can cause side effects like dizziness and headache, and you shouldn't necessarily use it if you have bleeding disorders or people with high blood pressure medications or those who are pregnant or breastfeeding.

And there's one or two small studies to show liver toxicity when you are taking too much of one of these adaptogenic mushrooms. And also they come with other things. Many of the supplement type of products you see on the counter, over the counter, will have adaptogenic mushrooms with other herbs which could be working in synergy could be beneficial most likely are but actually we don't know all of the interactions and it's difficult because it's a big industry that's not really very well regulated. Do you think a decade from now if we were sitting here having this conversation the world would look quite different and actually we'd have much clearer examples of potentially if you're really struggling with stress x grams of this could be incredibly helpful

or if you're struggling with x y or z or you're on these medications don't take this or don't take that yeah i hope so and there is some burgeoning research it's definitely exciting and i'd say to most people they can try it and see how they feel. But yeah, it would be nice to have more specific guidance. Yeah. And especially again, I just feel like this is so relevant at the moment, you can't say enough. These aren't, especially if you're going to get good quality ones, that's not a cheap addition to your life. So I think that's why it's also really important to say, try it. If you have the money and if you want to exactly yeah it can be so expensive to get something that's good quality and is likely to have even potentially have a

benefit exactly and I think that's what becomes quite overwhelming with this space is kind of you could try this you could try this you could try this you could try this could work might work but you could end up spending 200 pounds on supplements which may or may not have an effect yeah exactly so yeah it's a minefield out there people it honestly is I feel it so much as as a consumer as well but I think it's fascinating absolutely fascinating so thank you for debunking that for us you're welcome I have to say I was surprised by that fact or fad that it came up Trump and I can't tell you how much I've actually just enjoyed this whole episode and I hope you have as well as I said earlier if you want to find out more about Roxy come and check out the collaboration we've done together

with a beautiful manifesting meditation from Roxy all these amazing affirmations you can make them the background of your phone and feel uplifted all day long just get on to feel better now and as always I would love to hear from you just get in touch email podcast at deliciouslyella.com or at deliciouslyella on social and just remember if you're making any big changes to your lifestyle always check with a doctor we're going to be back here next week joined by psychotherapist and relationship counsellor Jessica Baum looking at the importance of attachment theory which is fascinating and for fact or fad we're going to be looking into the alleged health benefits bone broth. A bit of a weird one given that Gemma and I are both plant-based but let's go with it.

So thank you for listening, I will see you back here next week. And big thank you to our podcast production partners Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a pre-produced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Libsyn Ads. Email bob at libsyn.com to learn more. That's B-O-B at L-I-B-S-Y-N dot com.