The Wellness Scoop - The Extra Scoop: How to Be Happy

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

Every month, "How to be happy" is searched 45 million times on Google. We all want happiness, yet so many struggle to find it. With anxiety and depression on the rise, what’s holding us back? This week, Dr. David Hamilton — a pharmaceutical scientist, with PhD in organic chemistry, and a best-selling author — breaks down the science of happiness and how small, simple changes can make a big impact. We discuss: Why happiness feels harder to find than ever The "productivity trap" and its impact on well-being Science-backed ways to boost happiness effortlessly Join us as we cut through the noise and share real, practical advice for a happier life! For more information on David and his books visit drdavidhamilton.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome to the Extra Scoop, our expert-led bonus episodes, giving you the need to know on the topics everybody is talking about. That's right, from gut health to sleep, hormones to skin, we are cutting through the noise with top experts, so there is no fluff, just facts. Exactly, it's all quick, practical, evidence-based advice to fit into your busy lives. So this is the Extra Scoop. Let's get started. Today we are talking about how to be happy and I was actually just thinking on our very first show Ree said that that was her goal for 2025 so this feels very relevant but also so relevant to us all because happiness is of course course, such a universal pursuit.

Yet in that, it does seem increasingly elusive. And did you know that How to Be Happy is actually searched 45 million times on Google every single month, which really reveals a stark reality? Happiness is, for most of us, the ultimate goal, but so many of us are struggling to find it. And recent stats actually paint a very sobering picture. So according to the charity Mind, one in six people in England experience a common mental health problem

like anxiety or depression every single week, while the annual World Happiness Report, which is compiled by the United Nations, places the UK as the 20th happiest nation globally. But there's a big generational divide in that because actually for those under 30 in the UK, we're coming at number 32. So that's behind countries like Moldova, Kosovo, El Salvador. That's wild, actually, when you look at those statistics, because in 2023, we also noticed that we had the stats that anxiety levels also surged. So with over a quarter of women, that's around 27%, were reporting high levels of anxiety and up to 22% in 2016. So I don't think we're headed in the right direction, LR are we?

And men definitely haven't been immune to this either with one in five experiencing similar struggles. And I feel like men often get left out of this conversation sometimes online. So we've got the perfect person to help us here today, unpack why happiness feels so out of reach. What can we do about it? We are joined by Dr. David Hamilton,

a renowned expert on the science of happiness and the mind-body connection. Hello, David. Hi there. Lovely to speak to you both this morning. It's such a pleasure to have you. And this just feels like a topic that, as we said, is so relevant to all of us, this elusive pursuit of happiness. Just to start from the beginning, why do you think happiness is now feeling so unattainable for so many of us today? You know, I think it's a lot to do with the fact

the world seems to be so focused on doing productivity. There's a big pressure. I've seen it happening all around me. I've even been drawn into it myself, you know, this focus on, I have to keep doing as much as possible. And I think it's related to the fact there's so much information, data available at fingertips, and that kind of draws us into that kind of world of I need to contribute, I need to be doing, doing, doing companies are doing the same thing. And I think in this, I think we've just maybe lost sight a little bit of

what makes us human. And what I mean by that is the importance of connection and the importance of relationships and family and love. And I'm not saying that it's just all about that and not about doing things. I think there's a balance to be found, a sweet spot, I suppose. But I just think in society, we've gone a wee bit too far over to the productivity side and just lost sight of these very, very important things that do make us human, of which I think happiness naturally evolves out of connection and relationships and family

and these sorts of things. That's so interesting. We were saying in our first episode that loneliness is obviously such a big cause of unhappiness as well and poor health actually overall. And you've mentioned society there. So let's start by saying, because I completely agree, David, first of all, I feel all the things you've just said,

I think everybody can relate to. Do you think we just need a complete overhaul? What would a better framework or approach look like for society today? I think, you know, moving away from what feels like a sort of transactional view of things, you know, like we're looking for quick fixes for things, like many of us when we feel ill, the first thing we reach for is a medical solution. Of course, that is a wonderful thing for a number of different things, but this is why I love the work that both of you do,

and flipping it around and educating people about taking some of the things that I can do for myself, like changing what I eat and changing the way in which I eat. And that's huge. And what that does is it shows people that there are things, there are approaches that I can take. It's not always the magic bullet, but there are things that I can take. It's not always the magic bullet, but there are things that I can do.

And I think in society, we've gone so far over to the kind of productivity and transactional. We forget that there's things that we can do for ourselves. Where I come into this, one of my major focuses has been on being kind as a thing that naturally, happiness naturally comes out of. We're actually wired for this. Let me share an example.

I did, I led, towards the end of 2024, I led a 21-day kindfulness experiment. And I got about 3,500 people doing it. And basically the idea was, every day for 21 days, I encouraged people to focus on a different aspect of kindness. I didn't necessarily ask people to go out and be kind. I just asked them to consider and focus on something

like connection one day, gratitude another day, noticing kind people on another day. And each day I ask people to do a kindfulness meditation practice. I sent them a little link every day to a practice. And kindfulness is any mindfulness based technique where at least part of it focuses on an aspect of kindness or compassion.

Anyway, what took me by surprise is the massive gain in 21 days, because we measured that, gaining people's happiness, relationships and connection with others and overall wellbeing, way, way, way better than you would get from say popping an antidepressant over that time. And that for me was just a demonstration that when we focus on something that we can do, which is just how you think about people, just how you speak to people, how you communicate, how you act around people can have a tremendous effect

on how you feel on an absolute daily basis. One of the things we can do is just remind ourselves that taking a kind approach, in fact, can I share another quick bit of science? A lot of the things that separate us from being happy is feeling stressed a lot of the time. And did you know that physiologically, neurologically, the opposite of stress is kindness?

And I know that doesn't sound right straight away because normally we think of stress as a state or a feeling and kindness as a thing that you do. But if I reword that, the opposite of the experience of stress and what that experience is like, and therefore everything that happens inside the brain and the body that follow that, the opposite of that experience is an experience of kindness and what an experience of kindness feels like.

And if you chart neurologically and physiologically inside the brain and body, you'll find that everything that stress does, an experience of kindness does the exact opposite. So my approach to this kind of stuff is helping people to realise that the simple things, you know, showing people some support, some encouragement, helping each other out, just that shift of focus can not only be an antidote to stress for a lot of us, but actually opens a door to more experiences of happiness. And it's not really difficult to do.

It starts with just thinking about people, caring about people. One thing I love that you said there, David, is this idea that it's not difficult to do in terms of reframing your thoughts, because one of the big strands of this podcast is that we appreciate how busy people are and how overwhelming, overhauling your diet, getting 10,000 steps, et cetera, in your day to day

when you're very busy is. But this idea that you can sit here at your desk, maybe you're on the tube, maybe you're walking your dog, maybe you're cooking, cleaning, whatever you're doing right now, you can stop and you can reframe your thoughts and it's free and it's pretty instantaneous. And I love that because I think we're so keen to break down these barriers to wellness. And I think, again, it's so easy to think that, what do I have to do to be healthy? Right, I have to eat 30 plants a week, I have to move my body, etc, etc. Oh, it would be too wishy washy to say be kind in

that list. But to your point, actually being kind is scientifically proven. And I wondered if you could expand on this experience of in the stress state versus a kind state a little bit more. I'm presuming what you mean is for example it's a reverse of the hormones so if you're in a stress state your cortisol levels are going up and if you're in a kind state your cortisol levels are going down but I think it would be really interesting just to get a little bit more in that just to prove that it does work it's scientifically proven and actually just add reframing your thoughts and being kind to your wellness list.

Exactly. I'm glad you asked that because a lot of it does come down to stress hormones versus what I call kindness hormones. And I refer to kindness hormones really just as I call them kindness hormones just to draw a parallel with stress hormones because stress hormones are, to scientists, they're the biological products of an experience of stress. So kindness hormones, what I call kindness hormones, are biological products of an experience of kindness and they pretty much go in the opposite direction. So for example, stress hormones dial up the activity, the intensity of regions of the brain that play a key role in stress, anxiety, worry and fear.

Kindness hormones dial them down exactly the opposite direction. Even in your heart, for example, one of the contributors to high blood pressure cardiovascular diseases is a lot of stress. And so stress hormones play a role in that. But kindness hormones turn it in the exact opposite direction. Kindness hormones actually dilate our blood vessels,

which takes the pressure off the heart, which for us means a reduction in blood pressure. In fact, let me share, you asked for a wee bit of science, one of my favorite scientific studies. Researchers took volunteers who had been clinically diagnosed with hypertension, so high blood pressure. And there was close to 200 volunteers. And for each of them, every week for three weeks,

they gave each of them a sum of money. And for one half of them, they said, take this money and treat yourself with it, each week for the three weeks. To the other half, they said, take this money and do something good with it. So be kind with them and use the money and kindness to help other people.

At the end of the three weeks, those who'd done something good with the money, who'd focused on kindness with the money, had much lower blood pressure, both systolic and diastolic, than those who just spent the money on themselves. And what was amazing is the magnitude of the effect was comparable to exercise or taking

antihypertensive medication. And this was really just a product of shifting the focus onto kindness. And it's because there's two actual two reasons. One reason is kindness being the opposite of stress. It relaxes our nervous system. So that takes some of the pressure off the cardiovascular system. But secondly, it's these kindness hormones, which actually act physiologically on the lining of our blood vessels to cause a reduction in blood pressure. Isn't that, I think that kind of stuff amazing. I mean, I can only almost relate when, you know, Ella and I've obviously got children and we're told,

oh, that bond is formed with oxytocin. It really helps you get through difficult times. Is that almost one of the types of hormones that could be produced or something like endorphins? Is that what we're talking about here? Yeah, absolutely. In fact, the main kindness hormone I refer to because of its biological effects is oxytocin.

In fact, I would say oxytocin is the key kindness hormone because it's produced as we connect with one another, when we connect with someone through kindness, which could even just be how you're thinking kindly of someone and you feel that connection and it's the connection itself which is entered into through having a kind approach, whether it's through thinking, speaking or doing something that produces the oxytocin. What I love about it is lots of research has added to, we had a wealth of data in the past that said, you know, that oxytocin helped us to bond and to trust each other. But now we actually know it's a major cardiovascular hormone.

It plays a huge role in maintaining the health of the cardiovascular system, which is actually partly why I call it a kindness hormone, because it's so involved in lots of the different nuances and aspects of kindness. It even affects our immune system, it affects even how our muscles repair and recover after exercise, it affects our digestion, our loads and loads of different things. David, it's absolutely fascinating understanding this and seeing that there really is this extraordinary body of science behind just reframing your thoughts being kind. But in terms of being kind to ourselves and the way that we think, one

of the points you made at the beginning that I'd love to quickly pick back on in this productivity trap that you're talking about, but I think so many of us see in our own lives as well, and the challenge that that has with happiness. Where do you see the role of that desire that you mentioned for quick fixes coming in and then the disappointment when, surprise, surprise, there isn't a magic one that will solve everything? Because I think with this sort of relentless pressure to keep up with the Joneses in the sense we can see everyone else's lives and we think, oh, they're doing that one thing, it's solved it for them. Do you see that as one of our

biggest challenges and how do we escape it? It definitely is. And, you know, I think you mentioned in that about, you know, self-kindness. I think it's about, you know, sometimes flipping the switch, the focus. I think, you know, if I can frame this in terms of kindness, I think there's a, I'm not sure if this will answer your question properly, but I think there's a sweet spot somewhere in between two extremes, in one end of the extreme, because I focus a lot on kindness where we've got lots of time and space and energy

with which to help other people. But at the other end, we're absolutely exhausted. You know, we've got no energy left. We need to fill up our own cup. And we know what that's like. You know, I think somewhere in the middle of that, there's a sweet spot, there's a balance point where we recognize the importance of doing

whatever we need to do to support our own mental and physical health. And then we act upon it. So, and it's in a different space for different people, a different, you know, it's different in different times of our lives. Sometimes in our lives we do have lots of energy with which to be present for other people,

but there's other times in our life where we don't. And I think just recognizing there's a wee balance point in between and doing something about it. One of the things that I personally do, and I said, I'm not sure if this will fully answer your question, but one of the things I do is I put in my diary, because there's so much focus on productivity and stuff, I recognize that if people need my help in the family or in my close circle, I'll always find the time for them.

And I'll put a wee, I'll move things around in my diary. So what I do now is I put a space in my diary that says meeting with self. And what I'm doing is I'm elevating the importance of looking after my own wellbeing. I'm elevating it up to the same level as everything else. I'm making it visible. And that meeting with self might be like 10 minutes or 15 minutes, it could be an hour,

it could be a whole morning. In fact, it's not uncommon for me to watch an episode of Star Trek in the middle of the day. That works for me. But for me, that's a uncommon for me to watch an episode of Star Trek in the middle of the day. That works for me. But for me, that's a demonstration of me. I'm elevating the importance of looking after my own wellbeing. I'm recognizing a lot of the wellbeing

comes from my own actions. It's not just about looking outside myself for a quick fix somewhere, which we get from society. It's recognizing that there are things that I can do for myself. And again, it flips back to what I particularly love about the work that you both do, is you empower people, you help people to realize

that there are things that I can personally do myself to support my wellbeing. And you do it so eloquently, so wonderfully through educating people about diet and nutrition and how to cook things. I think it's amazing. I think that for me as a game changer and my aspect of this is saying, okay, what else can we do? And taking a kind approach is one of the things we can do. In fact, you know, one of the simplest things, my favorite word at the moment, and you've probably never heard of it, it's called confelicity. I only heard it myself recently.

And confelicity means shared happiness. It means taking pleasure in the happiness and successes of other people. And it's the simplest thing because you don't have to do anything. You don't literally have to even make space in your diary. You simply recognize when something good happens for someone, oh I'm so pleased for you, oh that's so wonderful, I'm so happy for you. And confelicity comes from the word shared happiness and it's an aspect of empathy. Because empathy you can think of as I feel with you but we usually think of I'm empathizing with someone's pain,

you know with someone's discomfort and their pain, I feel with you, I'm sharing your pain here. So conflicity is a kind of positive extension of empathy where we're not sharing in someone's pain, you're sharing in someone's successes and good fortune and the shared bit is where the magic comes in because the act of literally being happy for other people makes you happier yourself. You don't even have to do anything. You don't literally have to go out for a run, physically do anything. You just happen to say, damn it, I'm so happy for you. I'm so pleased that that wonderful things happened in your life. And nature gives you a little squirt of happy hormones for

you doing that. It's amazing. It's beyond amazing. And do you know what it really goes to show is that we are unbelievably disconnected. And I almost wonder if this is an education topic that should be in schools today, because people actually find it very difficult today to be happy for others. And I think it can result in how you're raised, the profession you're in. You just mentioned what Ella and I do for a living, and I can imagine it's how you feel as well. And people working in a hospital, for instance, or a doctor that's helping somebody, I think some professions automatically give you

that shared happiness, let's say, for instance. And a real take-home message for our listeners today is that we probably all need to do a lot more work on ourselves and start prioritizing basic human connections again, because we've all become, and this is a common theme throughout the podcast now, I know Ella has raised it in our episode today as well, but we are addicted to this gratification online, this online doom scrolling type approach. And this stems through society on so many levels of every age group, doesn't it?

The happiness and the connection that we just seem to have lost. So that's given me a real kick up the bum, excuse me to say, just to remind myself, hey, I'm in control of this. And actually there are active things I can do every day. Obviously we've got the SMARs trials data that food is more effective for data that, you know,

food is more effective for people that are clinically depressed, you know, if you're following a Mediterranean diet, and that's cool. But for me, the shared happiness vibe, I'm going to stay on top of that. Ella, what do you think? Me too, honestly, David, you've left me with such a big smile. And it's just so reassuring, you know, on those days where there's a lot going on, as you said, you can't get out for a run, you don't have time to cook something healthy,

but you can sit here and you can reframe your thinking and you can reframe your thinking towards yourself. You might be able to find even three minutes for yourself to find that piece and kind of reconnect, but you can also look at your neighbor, your colleague, your friend, someone you know, and think, I'm really pleased for you that that happened. And I think it's so reassuring

and such an important message to people that wellness doesn't need to be expensive. It doesn't need to be deeply time consuming. It doesn't need to be trendy. It's as simple as thinking, gosh, I am thrilled for my mom about this. I am thrilled for the person I sit next to at work about X, Y, or Z. And that is, it's just gorgeous, isn't it? I am thrilled for my mum about this. I am thrilled for the person I sit next to at work

about X, Y, or Z. And that is, it's just gorgeous, isn't it? Because it's so simple, but as you said, it's deeply effective, and there's a huge amount of evidence behind it. And do you know why this actually happens? It's because as humans, we're supposed to be kind. Believe it or not, we have kind genes.

They're some of the oldest genes in the human genome. They're at least 100 million years old in the genome. But the roots go back almost 700 million years. And what that means is they've played a crucial role in the survival and the thriving of the human species. You see, a lot of eons ago, our ancient ancestors learned through experience that looking out for each other, helping each other,

sharing with each other was healthier than try to do everything yourself and it was safer as well. So we evolved genes that ensured that helping each other was a practice that was innate to the human species and looking out for each other and sharing each other's happiness, supporting each other was part of what makes us human.

And nature also ensured that doing that was a pleasurable experience. So every time you say, I'm really thrilled for you, that things happen for you. I'm so happy for you. Or even you do an act of kindness or think kindly of someone. I think of it as nature's reward. Nature's saying, thank you. Well done for acting in such a way that's helping all of us to connect and to survive and thrive. Oh, and here's a wee squirt of happy hormones for your trouble kind of thing.

I think of it as nature's reward. It's why we have these positive effects from being supporting each other. Well, David, nature's reward is what we're all going to take away from today. Thank you. Where can our listeners go to find out more? Cause you've got some amazing books, haven't you? Well, all my books are on my website. My most recent one that covers a lot of this kind of stuff. I'm not sure if I can say the full title on your podcast,

but it's called the joy of actually giving a F-U-C-K. But the yous get a wee smiley face cause I'm pointing out that it's about giving a FU-C key about each other and all the different ways that impacts your mental and your physical health and why we're actually biologically wired for this. Love it. I love it. I've got that at the top of my reading list now. It sounds absolutely brilliant. So thank you so much, David. We really appreciate your time today. Thank you. It's been a real pleasure. I just love chatting with you both.

It's been absolutely a great part of the day for me this has been.