True Crime Campfire - Ride or Die: The Murder of Jennifer Cave, Pt 2

Episode Date: March 26, 2021

When we left you at the end of Part 1, Colton “the Goshfather” Pitonyak was awaiting sentencing on a drug possession charge, partying like his plane was going down, and trying to coax Jennifer Cave back into his life. Colton’s new hookup buddy/ego fluffer, Laura Hall, was none too pleased about that. But Colton had never managed to squelch his obsession with Jennifer. And as he descended further and further into a life of speed addiction and violent fantasies, and Jennifer tried harder and harder to save him, they both drew closer to the point of no return. Join us for part 2 of this bizarre true story.Sources:Descent Into Hell by Kathryn CaseyCBS's "48 Hours Mystery," Episode "In Too Deep"https://caselaw.findlaw.com/tx-court-of-appeals/1578792.htmlhttps://www.fox7austin.com/news/15th-anniversary-of-murder-of-jennifer-cavehttps://www.kvue.com/article/news/local/person-involved-in-2005-murder-of-jennifer-cave-released-on-parole/269-527943075Follow us, campers!Patreon (join to get all episodes ad-free, at least a day early, an extra episode a month, and a free sticker!): https://patreon.com/TrueCrimeCampfireFacebook: True Crime CampfireInstagram: https://gramha.net/profile/truecrimecampfire/19093397079Twitter: @TCCampfire https://twitter.com/TCCampfireEmail: [e-mail]: https://shop.spreadshirt.com/true-crime-campfire/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/true-crime-campfire--4251960/support.

Hello, campers. Grab your marshmallows and gather around the true crime campfire. We're your camp counselors. I'm Katie. And I'm Whitney. And we're here to tell you a true story that is way stranger than fiction. We're roasting murderers and marshmallows around the true crime campfire. When we left you at the end of Part 1, Colton, the gosh father Pitoniac was awaiting sentencing on a drug possession charge, partying like his plane was going down and trying to coax Jennifer cave back into his life. Colton's new hookup buddy slash ego fluffer, Laura Hall, was none too pleased about that. But Colton had never managed to squelch his obsession with Jennifer. And as he descended further and further into a life of speed addiction and violent fantasies, and Jennifer tried harder and harder to save him, they both drew closer to the point of no return. This is part two of ride or die.

The Murder of Jennifer Cave. As he waited for the June court date that would decide if he spent up to two years in prison for drug possession, Colton kept right on selling and using the drugs. Meth in particular. He stayed up for days at a time smoking the stuff. Then he'd crash for a while, wake up. and start the whole cycle all over again. By this point, he was using more of the drugs than he was selling.

He was a mess, and everybody saw it. Even his closest friends, the loyal ones who'd put up with all his bullshit in the past, were pushing him away now. Before, he was funny and smart and fun to be around, but that Colton was gone now. Meth Colton was pissed off and paranoid, pretty much 24-7. One friend who did stay around, in spite of it, of course, was Laura Hall. In her eyes, Colton could do no wrong.

The other one who stuck around for Colton was, unfortunately, Jen. Colton was leaning on her hard, calling her up with one manufactured crisis after another, putting on the wounded puppy act he knew she couldn't resist, and when he called, she came running. Her thinking was, if he needed her and she didn't go to him, how would she feel if something terrible happened? She'd blame herself forever. Colton could sense this, and he used it to manipulate her.

And as you can imagine, it ate Laura's lunch like Madd every time he leaned on Jennifer instead of her. She hated it. So did Jennifer's boyfriend, Scott, by the way, and who could blame him. Colton's trial finally rolled around in June, and Camper's, his defense was hilarious. He tried to argue that the search that uncovered the Xanax and Ambien had been illegal. Now, y'all remember how this happened, right? Colton got paranoid that gangsters were coming to kill him and called 911, on himself.

And then invited the cops in to see his priceless collection of illegal. legal drugs, which were just right to feck out on a table in the open for everybody to see. So needless to say, that defense went over like a lead balloon, and he was sentenced to 60 days in prison, practically a gift considering the two years he could have gotten, and by Texas law, he could be out in 30 if he kept his nose clean. So while Colton was away at Con College, Laura stated his apartment to look after the place. Always the loyal little puppy dog. I'm sure she watered his plants for him if he had any. You know, I can't be sure of much in this world, but I am absolutely certain that Colton had a black thumb.

Yeah, probably. As for Jennifer, as had so often been the case, once Colton was off the scene, she started feeling stronger, clearing her mind and staying off drugs. But there was one problem. She was starting to have doubts about her relationship with Scott. It wasn't that she didn't love him and his little girl. It was just she was only 21. She wasn't ready to have a family yet, and she didn't like the fact that Scott was supporting her financially.

She wanted to find a job she could feel good about and live on her own for a while. So she started seriously applying for jobs and weighing her options. Colton didn't even serve half his sentence for the drug charge. He got out in 20 days for good behavior. He did have a productive stay, though. He wanted a little memento to remember his time in big boy jail, so he got a jailhouse tattoo that, that said fell on.

F-E-L-L-S-O-N. As in, I was so high on meth that I tripped over a pile of old pizza boxes and fell on my dumb-ass face. Fell on. So obviously it was supposed to say felon, like F-E-L-O-N, but, you know, you can't have everything. And the funniest part of this is that he didn't even end up convicted of a felony. So not only was his jailhouse ink misspelled, it was a lie, too. Oh, Colton, you scamp. I bet Laura really struggled hard to find that thing sexy the first time he showed it to her, don't you?

Because you know she had to find a way, like, to find it hot, as obsessed with Colton as she was. So she probably really had to reach deep. Like, oh, Colton, that's so badass. And, God, you know she's the type to correct grammar, too. When Jennifer told one of her friends. that Colton was out of prison. The friend said, stay away from that guy, Jen, please. But Jennifer said it was fine. He was really sweet when he wasn't drunk or high.

Jennifer, baby girl, he's always drunker high. I know. When another friend asked why she's still hung out with the guy who once chased her into a closet with a knife and who she only felt safe around on the rare occasions when he wasn't high, Jen said, he's my friend and he's not always that way. Yeah, it's interesting. She actually sounds like somebody in an abusive relationship when she talks about him. Like that kind of rhetoric is really common for battered spouses. He's great when he's not drunk. He's not always like that, et cetera, et cetera. Mm-hmm, totally. Jen's friends were right to be worried. Once, when she hadn't heard from her in a while, Jen's friend Carissa called her on her cell.

And when Jen answered the phone, she sounded scared. Carissa could hear somebody talking in the background. Suddenly, Jen said, I've got to go, and hung up. A few minutes later, she called back. I'm hiding in the closet, she whispered. Then the line went dead. Carissa didn't know where she was, so she couldn't rush to help her. And Jen turned out to be okay. She'd been, guess where?

At Colton's. After a lot of soul-searching about their relationship, Jennifer finally broke things off with Scott. On good terms, though, Jen was determined to stay. in Little Madison's life, and she wanted to stay friends with Scott. For his part, Scott figured Jen just needed some space. He thought of the breakup more as a break. In his heart of hearts, he figured they'd end up back together in time. Jen moved in with a new roommate, a woman named Denise, and before long, Denise started to notice some worrying signs. Jen was losing a lot of weight, and she didn't seem to be sleeping much. One night, she walked in on Jen smoking meth.

The drugs were tightening their grip on her again, and she was spending more time with Colton and worrying more about his mental state. Once she told her roommate, I have to stop going over there, or he's going to kill me. I swear, one of these days, he's just going to kill me. Oh, girl. I know, it's like I said last episode. It's like watching a horror movie. Yeah, and by the way, we said this in part one, but just to reiterate, the main source for this episode

was Catherine Casey's terrific book Descenten to Hell, and that's where these direct quotes come from just so you know. Jen could sense what a danger Colton was becoming, but Laura had no such concerns. She thought he was just cats' pajamas. She bragged to her friends that her boyfriend was a powerful drug dealer. Oh, gross. It wasn't all rosy, of course.

Walter Scheid was not the most nurturing boyfriend. Laura was always lending Colton money, and then she'd complain when he didn't pay her back. and she didn't have money for rent. And I know this one's going to shock you. She also suspected Colton wasn't being faithful to her. Get out. Remember what we told you last week?

Colton's friend Justin said he treated Laura like a muddy little dog. Yeah, if I remember correctly, he didn't even really consider her his girlfriend, like capital G. Like if you'd asked him, he probably would have said she was a fuck buddy. But she loved him. Yeah, he'd be like, she's my girlfriend. She's a friend that's a girl. yeah and oh boy did she ever love him and colton pretty much used her as an errand girl one time she called up a friend to ask for a loan not for her for colton she said colton had crossed some bad dudes trademark and he was in big trouble if he didn't pay these guys back they were going to kill him her friend was like well if he's the one that's going to die why are you the one calling And that's a damn good question.

Yeah. Another time, Colton gave her a mysterious box and told her to deliver it to some shady contact or other. And of course she did it. No questions asked and brought back the $300 the dude gave her to give to Colton. So Lord knows how much jail time she could have gotten if she'd gotten caught doing that, but that did not seem to have bothered her. One time she told a friend that Colton had burned the shit out of her while they were high. She showed her a burn the size of a dime.

Her friend was horrified, but Laura thought it was horrible. funny story. She said, it's fun. I'm having fun. Oh, God. Well, I mean, enough said. Who wouldn't enjoy a good third-degree burn once in a while, right? And Colton, as we've already established, could be scary and violent. One night after an argument about money, Colton threw Laura out of his apartment, like literally. He ranted to his friends. She's driving me fucking crazy. I asked him, should I shoot her? I should just shoot her. I ought to just kill the bitch. And meanwhile, Laura's just sitting out on the front steps waiting to be let back in.

Yikes. Colton was feeling some pressure. Unsurprisingly, he was bombing the small number of classes he was still managing to take, and he was worried that his parents would cut him off when they found out. Remember that scene in Scarface where Tony Montana checked his grades for the summer session and realized he'd gotten a D and started freaking out that his mom was going to cut off his allowance? Honestly, that's my favorite part aside from the scene with a mountain of Coke. Oh, of course, it's iconic.

And Jen, bless her heart, was desperate to get off meth again and get her life straightened out. And as summer drew closer to fall, she scored an amazing new opportunity, a job as an admin assistant at a law firm. She was over the moon after the interview. She really liked the people there, and they clearly liked her too. She was excited, optimistic, happy to be moving forward. And historically, those were always the times when Jen was able to get clean, when she had something to look forward to. The night before Jennifer's job started, she watched a lifetime movie with her roommate, which more than anything else I've learned about this girl makes me love her.

Because I am all about those beautifully awful based on a true story, Lifetime movies. Oh, yes. I will watch that shit all day, as some of our patrons can attest, because our very first Patreon subscriber movie night was a lifetime thriller, and it was spectacular. It was a treat. So Jen watched a movie. She laid out her work clothes for the next morning. and because she wanted to make sure she wouldn't be late to her new job,

she asked her roommate to make sure she didn't ignore her alarm at 6.30. I guess she was a heavy sleeper. So it seems like she was planning on having an early night. But as we know from another friend of Jens who spoke to her briefly on the phone at 10.30 p.m., at some point that evening, Colton called her, wanting to come out for a drink with him. He was having some issues, she said. So she picked Colton up at his place and they went to a restaurant on Austin's main drag, where a few other friends were already hanging out.

and we can get a small glimpse of what was on Colton's mind that night from what he said to various friends. He told one friend he wanted to go back to school. I've fucked up my life with drugs, he said. I want to try again. But then, in the same breath, he said he had to go pick up an eight ball of Coke from a guy later that night. Good. Yeah. Around midnight, Colton and Jennifer broke off from the group.

And at 1 a.m., Jen called her friend Michael, said she was with Colton and he was really upset. He lost his phone, she said, and she was trying to help him find him. it. And while she was on the phone with Michael, Colton unzipped his pants and pissed all over some poor stranger's car and then tried busting out the window of another. Why, who the hell knows? Michael was a little worried for Jennifer. They hadn't known each other for long, but he liked her and didn't like the idea of her hanging out at night with the kind of jagweed who'd whizz all over somebody's car. Yeah. But she insisted that she was fine. She'd be heading home soon. And that was the last time anyone heard from Jennifer Cave.

Laura Hall texted Colton again and again that night, but he ignored all her messages. At 2 a.m., Jen's sister Vanessa woke up out of a dead sleep and felt a looming anxiety. About what? She had no idea. But it took her an hour to fall back to sleep. You know, you hear those stories all the time. It's fascinating. Like people will get this feeling of foreboding that they can't explain. And then later they realize that. that it happened right as their loved one was being murdered or dying in a car crash or whatever. And, you know, I'm a skeptic. So I don't know how to explain it other than that we all have a, I think, largely untapped well of intuition.

And I think that sometimes we're more in tune with it than we are at others. And I mean, obviously, Jennifer had been spending a lot of time around this guy and people were worried about her. And maybe that just all came to a head for Vanessa that night. I don't know. But it's really, really interesting and creepy that that happened so often. I agree. Late that night or early that morning, Colton's neighbor Nora was unpacking boxes when there was a knock at her door. It was Colton. He asked her if she'd heard any gunshots. She said, no. What? Why? Looking disheveled, Colton told her there'd been a gunfight in his apartment.

Mexican gang members, he said. He told her that he'd had to shoot one of them. Norah thought he was full of shit. She hadn't heard anything, and she was only a few doors down. Colton asked Nora if he had any blood on him. She did see a smudge of something red on his arm, but that was it. She wanted this goofball off her front step, so she just said, okay, good night now, and shut the door. At 5.30 a.m., Colton texted Laura Hall. At 6.30 the next morning, Jen's roommate Denise heard Jen's alarm go off. She went went into the bathroom and started her morning routine, figuring she'd see Jennifer in a few minutes. When she got out of the shower, though, she could hear the alarm blaring. She went and knocked on Jen's door. No response, just the beeping of the alarm.

She opened the door a little bit and peered in and immediately knew something was wrong. Jennifer's bed was made, and her work outfit was still laid out on top of it. Clearly, she hadn't come home last night. She was concerned, but Jen was an adult. after all. Maybe she just decided to stay over with a friend. And as many of us would in this situation, Denise tamped down on her worry and went off to work. According to phone records, at 7.30 that morning, Colton called Laura Hall. They spoke for 13 minutes. Then Laura hung up, and according to her friend, she said she needed to go see Colton right away. At 8.30, Jen's new boss noticed she hadn't arrived yet. He called her, but got no answer. So he left her message.

A couple of hours later, Jen was still a no-show. By now, her boss was a little concerned. Jennifer didn't seem like the type to not show up and not call, especially on day one of a job she was really excited about. So he called the management office at Jennifer's apartment complex. He asked the manager, Would you mind to go knock on the door? We're just a little bit concerned. So the manager agreed, but there was no answer at the door. And so it went, all morning and into the afternoon. Slowly, the realization hit Jennifer's friends and family that something was askew. Finally, her boss got in touch with Sharon, and at first, Jen's mom was furious with her for sabotaging this new opportunity. But as the day wore on and she couldn't reach Jen on the cell phone she was never, ever without, anger turned to fear.

Sharon started calling all Jennifer's friends, and eventually she reached Michael, the one she'd been on the phone with the night before when Colton was peeing on a stranger's car. Colton Petoniac, it seemed, was the last person known to be with Jennifer before she went missing. Around three that afternoon, while Jennifer's friends and family were calling around, trying to find her, Colton and Laura left the condo to run some errands. While Laura made a casual call to her parents to talk about her class schedule for the upcoming fall semester, Colton ran into an Ace Hardware store. One of the employees there noticed him. He looked lost, and although he seemed to be sober, he smelled strongly of booze.

Colton had a handwritten list in his hand. It included paper towels, ammonia, febreeze, carpet cleaner, latex gloves, and dust masks. Once he'd gathered all that stuff, Colton had a question for the employee. Could he recommend a good saw? He needed it to cut through bone, he said. He was planning on cutting up a frozen turkey. Okay. Frozen turkey story aside, I feel like when a customer comes in reeking of booze and asks for that

particular combination of stuff, clip you the paper clips, you did really just pop up and say, I see your customers putting together a murder kit. Do you need help calling the police? It's so true. When you say it together like that, especially like it really is kind of obvious. On the way home from the hardware

store, Colton went through the drive-thru at Burger King and got himself a whopper. No onions. At one point that day, Jen's ex-Scott called Colton. We can't find Jennifer, and you were the last one to see her. You need to call her mom. Colton said he had no idea where Jen was.

He said, that bitch is going to get me arrested. Oh, fuck you. Anyway, so we don't have time to go item by item with the timeline here, campers, because it would get kind of tedious. You already know from part one that eventually Jen's mom, stepdad, and sister headed to Austin and kind of camped out outside Colton's apartment building. Jim ended up climbing through a window and finding Jennifer's body in the bathtub. Just so you know, all this stuff,

Jen not showing up for work, everybody trying to find her, and calling friends and rehabs and hospitals and whatnot, the caves trying to get the police involved, and then finding Jen's body and calling in the investigators, all that took about 36 to 48 hours. During which time, Colton and Laura were every bit as busy as the caves were, on disturbing errands of their own. When Colton heard from Scott that Jennifer's mom had called the police, he and Laura hauled ass out of town. And by the time the body was discovered, low rent Bonnie and Clyde, had about a two-day head start on the detectives. The investigators found a wealth of evidence at the scene.

There was that bloody machete in the dishwasher. The handle would eventually test positive for Colton's DNA. There was a buckknife with the logo of Colton's dad's machinery company. Two bullet casings in the living room, one in the bathtub. Eventually, they would turn out to be a ballistics match for the gun Colton had in his possession. And then, of course, there was Jennifer's body. Jim hadn't realized it because so much of her body had been covered by the bath mat, but in addition to her head, she was also missing her hands.

CSIs found the head and hands in a trash bag on the floor next to the tub. So content warning on this next park campers, because we're going to describe Jennifer's wounds and they're pretty bad. So if you don't want to hear it, skip forward a minute and a half or so, that should be enough. At autopsy, medical examiner Dr. Elizabeth Peacock positively ID the body as Jennifer. her caves and determined that she had died from a gunshot wound to the torso. The fatal bullet had gone in between her fourth and fifth ribs, then through the lower part of her right lung, before finally cutting right through her aorta. It was a catastrophic injury. There was

no way she could have survived it. In fact, she would have been dead within a few seconds. But that wasn't the half of it. Jen had been subjected to horrendous post-mortem mutilation. In addition to the decapitation and removal of her hands, she'd been stabbed 18 times in the face. More stab wounds covered her arms, legs, and chest. And there was a perimortem slashing wound on one of her palms. Now, perimortem means at the time of death. So this was a defensive injury, most likely. And most bizarre of all, an x-ray of Jennifer's head revealed a bullet behind her left temple

with no evidence of an entry wound. Now, what did this mean? Well, it was chilling. It meant that someone had fired a gun into Jennifer's severed neck after they cut off her head. Someone had played with Jennifer's body. It was just absolutely ghoulish. So Jennifer had died quickly.

The defensive wound on her hand suggested that her killer may have started at her with the knife and switched to the gun when she started fighting back. She died quickly. Her killer didn't torture her or go out of the way to make her suffer. But the post-mortem mutilation showed a huge amount of rage, especially the wounds to Jennifer's face. Like when you see those kinds of injuries to the face, you generally think, you know, this is personal. This is, I hate you. Somebody wanted to obliterate Jennifer's essence, her personhood, her beautiful, blue-eyed sunflower of a face.

Her funeral had to be closed casket because of what had been done to her. She was buried in blue pajamas with her childhood blanket. Her family was shell-shocked, devastated beyond words. Jen's younger brother Clayton called her cell phone over and over again just to hear her voicemail greeting. Obviously, Colton Potoniac was suspect number one, and the investigators got to work trying to find him. They snagged his cell phone records and saw that his phone was pinging off towers heading south, heading, in fact, toward the Mexican border. Colton's car was still in its parking spot at the apartment complex,

so they didn't know what he was driving. Frustrating because they didn't know what to put out a bolo on. But the U.S. Marshals put out a wanted poster with Colton's picture on it. It said, approach with caution. Colton was officially a fugitive from Justice. Yeah, I wonder how he liked it. Somehow I suspect it didn't live up to all the hype. Yeah, not very glamorous, huh?

Mm-mm. Meanwhile, a receptionist at a small hotel called the Casablanca Inn in Piedras, Negris, Mexico, looked up from his desk to see a young couple waiting to book a room. The young woman handed him a credit card and two student IDs. One was for Laura Hall and one was for Colton Potoniak. They seemed in good spirits, just a little tired from travel. He checked them in with a smile and handed them the keys to their room. Back in Arkansas, Colton's friends.

parents were, as always, scrambling to give him a soft place to fall. Not unlike clowns under a trapeze artist. They called the attorney who represented him on the drug charge months ago. He said Colton needed to come to his office and turn himself in. Yeah. Well, something tells me Colton wasn't going to go for that plan. Nope. In fact, back in Mexico, he'd already asked the hotel receptionist if they had a computer he could use. As Laura watched over his shoulder, he browsed for information on flights leaving her Quirnavaca in the next few days. He also logged into his Facebook and noticed that he'd lost almost 50 friends from his list since Jennifer's murder hit the news.

By now, Laura's friend, Saeed, had figured out that she was probably on the lamb with Colton. He made an anonymous call to the Austin PD to let them know that wherever Colton was, Laura most likely was with him. Laura's dad called too. The genius Laura had been in touch, he said. She told him she'd cross the border into Mexico And she told him Colton had killed somebody Oh, that was thorough

Right? Give him the run down Yeah He of course, as any father would be Was worried sick about her Wanting her to found ASAP And this Colton maniac taken into custody Yeah, his little angel princess was in danger

Drag to Mexico against her will Oh boy Meanwhile, as they were searching the web for plane tickets to Quirnavaca, Colton and Laura struck up a pally conversation with the hotel manager, Pedro Fernandez. There was a UFC fight on that night, and Colton wanted to know where he could go to watch it. This was what was on his mind 48 hours or so after murdering Jennifer Cave. Fernandez, a friendly guy who liked getting to know his guests, said, well, why don't you come over to my place and watch the fight? So, they did. They had a great time at first, chatting about

the UFC and martial arts. Before long, Colton was visibly drunk, and chatty. He asked Fernandez for help selling the green Cadillac they'd driven there in, Laura's car. They needed fast cash, he said. Only problem was they didn't have the title to the car on them. They left it back in the States. The day before, they'd gotten turned away at a checkpoint because of it. Fernandez said he'd like to help, but without the title, there really wasn't anything he could do. If they wanted to sell the car, they'd need to go back and get that paperwork. Colton didn't like that answer. No, no, they couldn't go back across the border, he said, no way. He was so worked up about it and so adamant that it set off alarm bells in the back of Fernandez's mind. They clanged even louder and

minute later when Colton said, do they extradite from Mexico? And Laura poked him in the ribs and said, Colton, shut up. These two, I swear to God. Ah yes, the imperiled princess in Mexico against her will. Sure, Daddy Hall. Sure, bud. Colton wouldn't let it go about the car, no matter how patiently Fernandez tried to explain to them that there just wasn't any way they could sell the damn thing without the title. Finally, Fernandez stood up to go to his computer and look up the procedure just to prove what he was saying, and when he got up, Colton followed him. Fernandez, uneasy feeling flashed into fear. People like Colton

Potoniac can smell fear a mile away and never miss a chance to make it worse. Colton pulled up his shirt to show Fernandez the knife he'd slid into his waistband. He said, I could take you. Fortunately for him, this was not Fernandez first rodeo. So he grabbed the knife right out of Colton's belt, and I wish I could have been a fly on the wall because I would have loved to see the look on Colton's big dumb face, wouldn't you? Could you take him, Colton? could you?

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clamped over its nose and mouth. Laura was mugging for the camera, grinning ear to ear. Fernandez drove them to the bar, purposely taken the long way so these two wouldn't remember where he lived. On the way, he asked Colton, what did you do, man? It was obvious to him that Colton and Laura were on the run from something. Colton just said, don't roll on me. And again, Laura told him to shut up.

Oh, Laura. You're such a protector. Such a little mother hen. As they said goodbye to Fernandez, Laura begged him not to tell anybody they were there. When he got back to his house, Fernandez saved the picture he'd taken of Colton and Laura at his computer. He had a feeling he might need it someday. So obviously, the Austin PD got in touch with the Mexican police as soon as they got the tip from Laura's dad, and Mexican authorities moved fast to get Colton the fuck out of their country.

They quickly located Laura's green caddy, the one they'd been so desperate to sell at the Casablanca in. And soon after that, a team of U.S. Marshals and Mexican police spotted the two dipshits smoking on the second floor walkway of the hotel. About an hour later, the Mexican cops put the grab us on Colton. The whole time they were being arrested, Laura kept screaming, You can't arrest us. We're American citizens. You're violating our civil rights. Uh, what? I think you'll find that they very much fucking can arrest you, you smug bitch. Before long, the dynamic duo was being driven in separate cars back to the U.S. On the drive, Colton asked what he was being arrested for.

The marshal said, murder. Colton said, If it's a murder charge, I know what it's about. Later, he told another officer, I really fucked up. Yeah, Colton, you sure did, you absolute sack full of rat vomit. Back in Austin, they put Colton on suicide watch at the jail. When the investigators tried to talk with him, he asked for a lawyer. Which is the first smart thing I've seen him do.

Yep. As for Laura, they had no grounds to hold her. No evidence yet that she'd done anything wrong. It was clear she was firmly on Team Colton, though. At the border crossing back into the States, she'd said, I'll kill anybody that hurts him. Okay, settle down there a little bit. This ain't natural-born killers.

Laura's dad picked her up, and once she was home, She just couldn't wait to tell her friend Syed all about her life on the run. She said, you wouldn't believe the shit coming down. Colton's been arrested. The Mexican cops broke our hotel door down. I can't believe they found us so fast. Seriously? Bless your heart, honey.

You checked into that hotel under your own names with a credit card in your own car. Colton practically told the hotel manager y'all were running from the law. And lest we forget, you told your dad where you were. And you're surprised that they found you so fast. Good gravy. It's just so stupid. Wow. Laura's friend wanted to know how Laura was involved in all this.

She told him, I've been up in this shit since like two hours after the shit started. And then she said she was planning to tell the cop she didn't know anything about Jennifer's body or the dismemberment. Colton had just taken her on a vacation to Mexico. Okay, good plan. a plan, except a key element of that plan would be keeping your feckin' mouth shut. You daft twat. But of course, she didn't. She called yet another friend, Andrea.

And this is just chef's kiss astonishing. The first thing she said to Andrea was, my phone's probably tapped. And then she proceeded to outline her master plan to stay out of jail. I didn't do anything. We were just on vacation. Crafty. So crafty. Hello, friend.

Let us have a normal everyday conversation in which I assert that I am not guilty at all of the crimes I am suspected of. And hey, if the cops happen to overhear... Oh, my God. During another call with her buddy Said, he asked her why the hell she was staying so loyal to Colton after what he did. Like, Laura, he murdered a girl. Someone like you. He butchered her. Why would you help him? Laura said, you shouldn't judge him. He told me what happened. It was an accident. There's a difference between manslaughter and first-degree murder. If I help him, he might walk. Oh, my God. And Saeed, of course, was completely baffled. He was like, Laura, there's no way this was an accident. Look what he did to her. Why would you want him to get off? And Laura's response, I love him. That's just how I roll.

Right or die This accident horseshit by the way This is what Colton told his attorney at first That he shot Jen by accident And panicked and didn't really remember most of what happened Unsurprisingly his lawyer didn't buy it When Laura spoke with detectives Gilchrist and Fuggett

She said she had no idea what had happened to Jennifer And she said in her opinion Somebody was trying to frame Colton He's not a sicko She insisted he would not shoot this girl on purpose Just as she told Saeed she would do, Laura swore up and down that she never knew they were on the run from the law. We were just on vacation. Unfortunately for her, by now the investigators had spoken to our old friend Pedro Fernandez, the hotel manager.

He told him all about Colton's big knife, the cryptic comments he'd made about being on the lamb, and how desperate he and Laura were to unload her green Cadillac, which, by the way, the detectives now had in their possession. But Laura refused to budge. And as Colton sat in jail, she embarked upon a period of truly mind-bending dumb-bitchery. On Facebook, she wrote, Colton is innocent. He's the most generous, kindest person that I have been blessed to spend time with. There is no way he is anything but innocent.

If anyone has anything to say on the contrary, I dare you to say it to me. Look out. We got a badass over here. Oh, yeah, everybody stay back. For your own safety. She also went out and got a tattoo. Colton's name on her ankle because she wasn't already enough

of a sad cliche, I guess. Had to go the full night. I wonder how she's feeling about that tat these days, by the way. It's probably been turned into something else. Maybe the lyrics from I'm only happy when it rains or something. That would suit her. I only smile in the dark. That's Laura right there.

Oh, my God. It totally is. Shut up, you twat. And by the way, at some point she found out that Her dad had dimmed her out to the cops while she and Colton were in Mexico, and she was pissed at daddy, which is hilarious. The detectives had established by now that Laura had an alibi for the actual time of the murder, so she hadn't been the one to kill Jennifer. But they also knew that she was up to her eyebrows and everything that happened after her, which is exactly what she said to Saeed, by the way. Whatever she tried to say to the court into 48 hours mystery later, she said, I've been up in this shit since two hours after the shit happened.

We remember, we heard you say it. So don't even try. So they finally put the grievous on her for hindering apprehension and slapped her with $175,000 bond. Ouch. Laura went white as a sheet when they arrested her because she really didn't think it was going to happen. So Detective Gilchrist tried to offer her a lifeline, asking her for more info on Colton. And I got to give it to her. She held out for a while, still trying to protect him.

True love does exist. Oh, yeah. That's how she rolls. but of course she eventually cracked at least part of the way she admitted Colton had called her to come to the apartment after he killed Jennifer she said at first she thought the body in the tub was a mannequin she said he threatened her she had to help him she was a victim too yeah the problem with that though was

Laura had left Colton's apartment alone after this she went and got gas she got cash out of her ATM she went home and took a nap She had phone conversations with her parents and a friend, so if Colton had threatened her and she was in fear for her life, why the hell wouldn't she call the police? Or tell her dad, or her friend, or just skip town. And she had ample opportunity and time to do that

with Colton nowhere around, but she didn't. She took a nap instead. In Laura's statement, though, Colton was a horror movie villain. She described him stabbing Jennifer in the bottom of her foot. The autopsy, by the way, showed no such wound. She described him laughing maniacally and licking the knife. Seemed like Laura was, for the moment at least, in self-protection mode. The prosecutor had no interest in giving her a deal for her testimony, though.

He didn't want her on the stand. It was too likely she'd get up there and try to protect Colton. So the investigation continued. Meanwhile, Laura sat in jail where, and I am shocked to hear this, the other inmates thought she was stuck up and rude. No. Right? Her cellmate was a 60-something woman named Henriette Longenbach, who was doing time for embezzlement.

Longenbach was highly intelligent. She spoke something like six languages, but Laura treated her like she was beneath her. She spent hours ranting and raving about her dad, who had refused to bail her out of jail or hire an attorney. She was indignant that she was being represented by a public defender. like a commoner. She said he wasn't a real lawyer. This could have been because Laura, who wanted to be one herself, didn't really understand what lawyers do. She said, I want a lawyer to help me and Colton concoct a story so he can get Colton off on a lesser

charge and me on a misdemeanor. Longenbach was just floored. She was like, uh, Laura, that's not what an attorney does. they're not even supposed to put you on the stand if they know you're lying. Dear God, I feel sorry for the poor bastard who drew the short straw and ended up with her as a client. And I love that she's getting schooled on legal ethics by a woman who's in jail for embezzlement. You know, this case just gets more and more like a TV movie every minute. Right.

Well, that is our theme for March, cases that could be lifetime movies. Her poor beleaguered defense attorney would later say that Laura was the weirdest client he ever had. She seemed to really enjoy the attention she was getting from the case. When he tried to talk to her about making a deal in exchange for helping the cops Nail Colton, she told him no. That's my homeboy. I love him, and I stand by him. One does not turn on one's homeboy.

Even when said homeboy has dragged you into a murder plot that could land you in prison for years. Yeah, tattoo that on yourself, Laura. There you go. Christ. He also told her to keep her fucking mouth shut. But, of course, that is physically impossible for Laura to do. She's afflicted with a fatal case of verbal diarrhea. Never shuts the fuck up, Idaeus.

Yeah, with comorbid dumb bitch flu on top of it. Bad news for a lady in the kind of trouble Ms. Laura was in. She told Longenbach her dad wanted her to talk to the cops, but, quote, What the fucking bastard doesn't get is that I am federally fucked if I do. Yes, an innocent victim. That's our Laura Hall. Federally fucked. I like that, though. I'm going to have to use it sometime. Thanks, Laura. That single phrase is the only thing your miserable life is good for, you gangrenous limb. Damn. She also couldn't resist flap in her mouth about Jennifer. Now, hold yourselves back, campers. Buckle in. Because this might bring on a rage stroke.

She said stuff like, I don't know why they're making such a big deal about Jennifer Cave. She wasn't anything. Colton's brilliant. He had a full scholarship at UT in the business school. Jennifer Cave was a fucking waitress hoe. Oh, my God, gross. She was still so jealous of Jen she couldn't stand it. Even now, sitting in prison.

Mm-hmm. It gets worse than that. At one point, she said that Jennifer was so worthless that her murder should really be considered a victimless crime. Fucking disgusting. That is horrifying. Laura told her Sally, Henry at Longenbach, that on the night of a murder, Jennifer and Colton were arguing about money,

and Colton just shot her. When she got there, Colton was out of control. She said he couldn't even tell her who he'd shot. He was so emotional. She claimed it wasn't, and Sally went to the bathroom and lifted up Jennifer's severed head that she knew it was Jen.

And from that point on, Laura took charge. She told Colton they needed to get rid of the body, At one point, Laura had to use the bathroom, and Colton, like the gentleman he is, closed the shower curtain on the body. Get you a man who's considerate, right? And when Longenbach, understandably horrified by this story, said, how could you use the bathroom with a body in there like that? Laura said, when you're very intelligent, you're able to compartmentalize things. Just let that one sink in a second, campers. When you're very intelligent, you're able to confess to all the,

crimes you've committed to someone you repeatedly call stupid. I cannot with this woman. I really cannot. She said that at one point Colton was kidding around and held the machete up to Laura's throat. Langenbach asked if she was scared of him, and Laura said, no, of course not. Laura said she was the one who wrote the shopping list that Colton took to Ace Hardware. And she said if she'd taken control of that little errand, they wouldn't have gotten caught on camera buying the stuff. Such a backseat driver, this bitch. You know, like, well, why didn't you then?

Where were you 10 minutes ago? The plan, she said, was to cut off Jen's hands, feet and head, all the parts that could identify her and dump her body in Mexico. When Langenbach asked her how she could cut up a human body, Laura said, think about it. How many grandparents can tell their grandkids they cut up a body? Yeah, the thing is, most of us just haven't given that a lot of thought, Laura, honey.

Bless your heart. I guess dismemberment was a key item on her bucket list or something. Laura also told her Sally that she'd offered to take a polygraph because she was sure she could pass it, you know, on account of her big brain and all. And because she was ice cold, man, ice cold. Not so ice cold that she didn't want to stack the deck in her favor, though. She took a jailhouse meditation course and got the prison infirmary to load her up with antipsychotic meds, which she told Langenbach would mask her emotions and make it easier to beat the test.

For her part, Langenbach thought Laura was a disgusting human being. She was horrified by the way she talked about the murder, about Jennifer, and she was grossed out by the fact that Laura wanted to get more tattoos in honor of her relationship with Colton. She wanted one with her and Colton's initials, and an F for Felon. Or fell on, as the case may be. Fell on. Oh, boy.

Langenbach was so deeply disturbed by the whole thing, in fact, that she started keeping detailed notes about their conversations. The night before Laura's preliminary here, She had a bad dream. It started screaming in her sleep. Get away, bitch. You're dead. You're dead. Which is just so creepy. I can't even stand it. Like, was it Jennifer? She was yelling at?

Oh, so creepy. And then she launched herself in her sleep from the top bunk straight into the wall. Got a big knot on her head and two black eyes. And she joked later about suing the jail over it. So this makes me wonder, you know, maybe not so ice cold after all. Oh, Laura? Maybe the horror show you participated in made a little. little bit more of an impression on you than you thought.

Finally, her parents posted Bond and got her out of jail pending trial. She moved in with an old co-worker and quickly began running her mouth, as always. She told her new Rumi that she'd helped Colton cut off Jennifer's head. She joked about it. Don't worry, I won't cut off your head. Ha-ha. Hilarious. She spent a lot of time moping around about not getting to see Colton. Didn't stop her from dating one of his friends. Well, briefly, anyway. He dumped her when he realized what kind of.

kind of a train wreck he was dealing with. According to him, one night Laura got drunk and asked him, do you know what it's like to take a life? Laura, keep your mouth shut, honey. She just can't do it. So we can't get into all the details about the trial, or we'd be here for two more episodes. So just suffice it to say that Colton's trial happened in 2007.

Colton tried to claim the shooting was an accident, and he barely remembered what happened, and he blamed the dismemberment and post-mortem mutilation 100% on Laura Hall. And he did not do himself any favors on the stand, as I'm sure you can imagine. The defense tried to paint Colton as a good kid, trademark, who just got sucked into drugs and drinking and took a wrong turn. The prosecution called him out for using his addiction as an excuse for murder and for playing the victim. His defense also tried to prove that the gun Colton used to shoot Jennifer could go off by mistake

pretty easily, but the prosecution did a pretty nice job as showing otherwise. And they had the surveillance footage from Ace Hardware, with Colton shopping for his creepy little murder kit. Colton was convicted of the murder and dismemberment and sentenced to 55 years in prison. He'll be eligible for parole once he's served 50% of his sentence, which is unfortunate. I hope he never sees daylight again. After Colton's conviction, it was Laura's turn. By now, prosecutors had become convinced that Laura was involved in the mutilation of Jennifer's body.

For one thing, they found her DNA on the murder weapon. Content warning again, campers, because we have to mention a couple of upsetting details about the post-mortem treatment of Jennifer's body. Skip forward about 30 seconds or so if you don't want to listen. Because Laura had an alibi for the time of the actual murder, they took this DNA to mean that Laura was probably the one who fired the bullet into Jennifer's severed head. they also found Laura's DNA on a shop towel in the living room and on a flip-flop sandal in the bathroom. So by the time she went to trial, she'd picked up a tampering with evidence charge on top of hindering apprehension. Laura seemed to enjoy the notoriety. She smiled and posed for the cameras. Behind closed doors, though, Laura seemed to be getting a reality

check. She finally saw the consequences looming. She couldn't go to law school with a felony on her record. But what about your F tattoo, Laura? What would it stand for if you didn't get convicted? Fucking bitch? Failure? Full of shit? Fabergette egg

enthusiast? Furry? Frotage? Laura's defense was no big surprise to anyone. Her attorney tried to portray her as a victim of Colton Potomiac, just as Jennifer was. Oh, bar.

It was a strategy that could have worked if Laura hadn't spent her time in jail doing everything in her power to make sure it didn't. Her former cellmate, Henriette Longenbach, took the stand. She held everybody spellbound with her account of Laura's callous attitude towards Jennifer, and the jailhouse confessions about murder and dismemberment. Once during the trial, Laura and her mom went to use the restroom at the same time as Jen's mom, Sharon, and her sister Vanessa. A family friend of Sharon saw them coming and asked Laura and her mom to please wait. That would have been the classy, mature thing to do, so of course, Laura didn't do it. She stormed into the bathroom and snapped, there's no law that says we can't use a public restroom.

Classy. The jury found Laura not guilty of hindering apprehension, which is very odd to me, since that part seems like a no-brainer to me, but whatever. When she heard the not-guilty verdict, Laura immediately started visibly celebrating, until the foreman read the second charge, tampering with evidence. For that, they found her guilty. It was a felony charge, so that's lucky for her. Her F tattoo would have meaning now. After the sentencing, Jen's mom, Sharon, finally got a chance to confront this young woman who had been trashing her daughter's name, calling her worthless, saying her murder was a victimless crime. She said, Laura, I want you to know that this would never have been a victimless crime. Unlike you,

people love Jennifer. Unlike you, Jennifer had a beautiful soul and heart. Unlike you, Jennifer will be missed. I hope Jennifer haunts you every day of your life because what you and Colton did was horrific. Boop, boom, boom. Someone called the burn unit because Laura just got roasted. Fucking unlovable shrew. Laura sat at the defense table, ashen white and staring daggers at Sharon as she spoke. Sharon ended her victim impact statement with, if there's a I hope you burn in it. The judge gave Laura a six-year sentence. And this is delightful.

In 2009, Laura appealed and ended up being granted a new sentencing hearing. She hoped to get time served and get out of prison for good. But while waiting for the resentencing, the prosecutors got hold of a recorded phone call between Laura and her grandmother, where Laura decided to live up to her family nickname, the mouth of the South.

Her grandma brought up Jennifer 's mom Sharon, who had been on an episode of 48 hours mystery about the case, and Laura, a little peach that she is, said, quote, she's going down. I don't know how and I don't know when, but she's going down. She said Sharon had looked like a real moron on the show. Her grandma agreed, by the way, charming. Lora capped off her astute observations about Jennifer's grieving mom by saying, then we have garbage like Sharon be heroes. God, God help us. The trash gets pity. God help us. Yeah, don't worry, doll, baby.

The trash ain't getting any pity from us. We're not talking about Sharon. On another recording, when her mom refused to pay bond for her to get out of jail pending resentencing, Laura said, I will kill you. She said if the sentencing didn't go her way, quote, I'll get an assault charge, possibly even a murder charge. I don't have to act crazy. They know I'm crazy.

I'm beyond crazy. I almost attacked somebody yesterday. Okay. Way to burn us your reputation there, sweet cheek. Smart move. So at the new sentencing hearing Laura's dad got on the stand and claimed that Laura suffered from bipolar disorder

As if that somehow explained or justified what she'd done So on behalf of the millions of people Who suffer from that disorder And manage to, you know, not cut anybody's head off Fuck you And fortunately, the court didn't buy all that bullshes either Because instead of getting a lighter sentence She got a harsher one instead

Ten years instead of the original six Plus a $16,000 fine You love to see it. So Ms. Laura was released in 2018, and hopefully she's keeping her nose clean out there. If you want a good look at her, watch that old 48 hours episode about the case. So, Katie, obviously we don't know for sure who did what in this case.

I mean, we know Colton committed the actual murder, but I agree with the prosecution that the most likely culprit for the most vicious post-mortem stuff was Laura. Because to me, she's the one that had that kind of venomous hatred for Jennifer. So do you agree, not agree? Oh, I totally agree. Colton strikes me as someone who's very impulsive. So I think he impulsively murdered Jennifer.

Right. For whatever reason. Probably in the middle of an argument. Probably she was threatening to abandon him again or whatever in his eyes. Well, I do think it was because she was, I have a theory about that. I think she was starting a new job and she was finally going to tell him, like, listen, I don't want this life anymore. I can't be around you anymore, exactly. Yeah.

And maybe he did say, well, now you have to pay me back for all the drugs. Yeah, I think that's why he... But Laura is not impulsive. Right. Laura does things with a purpose. Now, the purpose is may not make sense to a rational, not piece of shit human being. But I think she wanted to live up to the hardcore girlfriend of the drug lord. And she hated Jennifer.

And I think that's what What drove her to do what she did I think she did all of the mutilation Yeah, I have a strong suspicion About that myself And obviously we don't know for sure Yeah, I think psychologically To me it makes a lot more sense that Laura

Would be the sort of the angrier one of the two At that point Like after the original argument had calmed down And, you know, and then I mean, it could have been that Colton suggested Well, we should cut off the identifying parts of her body but then the stabbing in the face, like, that doesn't strike me as something Colton would have done at that point. So I agree with you completely, actually.

Yeah, and I think she viewed it as I'm destroying my competition. Mm-hmm. Exactly, with all that anger over all those times that he called her instead of Laura, that, you know, he was obviously so obsessed with Jennifer and, you know, treated Laura like an errand girl and a sex doll, essentially. Mm-hmm. You know, maybe just figure out that Colton's a piece of shit and move on with your life. Right. You and Jennifer could just be friends. Yeah. You guys could have both just gone on with your lives and, you know, two girls in

their early 20s. It's just, it's an incredible shame to me for both of them because they're both intelligent, like beautiful girls. Laura could be a lawyer right now, you know, instead of a felon, fell on. And to me, it's just a, it's a shame that Jennifer never had a chance to really blossom because she was somebody who's having a lot of trouble in her life, but she was starting to get a handle on it, I think. And I wish she'd had a chance to grow into the person that she wanted to be. But even in the short time that she lived, she really blessed the people around her. You really get a sense of that

from that Catherine Casey book. And I'm sure they still love her and miss her terribly. So it's very sad. So that was a wild one, right, campers? You know we'll have another one for you next week. But for now, lock your doors, light your lights, and stay safe until we get

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