True Crime Campfire - Tulip 22: A Story of Betrayal and Murder

Episode Date: April 4, 2025

Vengeance is such a core human urge that there are hundreds and thousands of parables and plays and stories warning us about what a dangerous path it is. In the classic Shakespearean tragedy, Hamlet destroyed himself and the entire Danish royal family in the name of revenge. Francis Bacon wrote “A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.” Today’s story is a good reminder that if you seek revenge, you should dig two graves. Join Katie and Whitney, plus the hosts of Last Podcast on the Left, Sinisterhood, and Scared to Death, on the very first CRIMEWAVE true crime cruise! Get your fan code now--tickets are on sale now: CrimeWaveatSea.com/CAMPFIRESources:Crime Traveler, Fiona Guy: https://www.crimetraveller.org/2024/12/fiona-beal-murder-case/The Independent, Amy Clare Martin: https://www.the-independent.com/news/uk/crime/fiona-beal-murder-trial-sentence-teacher-b2553200.htmlBBC News: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-68846713NN Journal, Sarah Ward: https://www.nnjournal.co.uk/p/im-not-a-total-monster-i-know-whatEmma Kenny, YouTube channel: Respected Teacher Conned Boyfriend Into Deadly Sex GameFollow us, campers!Patreon (join to get all episodes ad-free, at least a day early, an extra episode a month, and a free sticker!): https://patreon.com/TrueCrimeCampfirehttps://www.truecrimecampfirepod.com/Facebook: True Crime CampfireInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/truecrimecampfire/?hl=enTwitter: @TCCampfire https://twitter.com/TCCampfireEmail: [e-mail]! https://true-crime-campfire.myspreadshop.comBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/true-crime-campfire--4251960/support.

Hello, campers. Grab your marshmallows and gather around the true crime campfire. We're your camp counselors. I'm Katie. And I'm Whitney. And we're here to tell you a true story that is way stranger than fiction. We're roasting murderers and marshmallows around the true crime campfire. Vengeance is such a core human urge that there are hundreds and thousands of parables and plays and stories warning us about what a dangerous path it is. In the classic Shakespearean tragedy, Hamlet destroyed himself and the entire Danish royal family in the name of revenge. And Francis Bacon wrote, A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.

Today's case is a good reminder that if you seek revenge, you should dig two graves. This is Tulip 22, a story of betrayal and murder. So, campers, for this one, we're in Northampton, England, March 17, 2022. Northampton police were racing toward the home of Nicholas Billingham and Fiona Beale search warrant in hand. They weren't sure what, if anything, they were going to find. This could all be some kind of hoax or mistake, but they just received some evidence unlike any they'd seen before. strange, chilling evidence that there might have been a gruesome murder at this address. On the one hand, they were going into this search with quite a bit of information.

But as horrifying as that information was, the investigators weren't remotely prepared for what they were about to find in this ordinary middle-class home. It would mark the brutal end to a tumultuous 17-year relationship that had left one partner in the psych ward recovering from a suicide attempt and one in a shallow grave. But we'll get back to that later. First, who were Fiona Beale and Nicholas Billingham, and how had their home? A home they'd bought together with so much pride and excitement a couple years before. How had it ended up surrounded by police cars?

Born in 1973, Fiona Beale grew up in what sounds like a typical loving home in Northampton. Fiona was the youngest daughter of three, and according to her family, she was a joy to be around. cheerful, friendly, bubbly even. She had a pretty light-hearted childhood. But by the time she hit her adolescent years, Fiona started to have some mental health issues. Pretty bad depression, it sounds like, from the sources we've seen. Now, a lot of teenagers have to wrestle with their mental health. I mean, being a teenager sucks on toast, and most of us deal with some degree of emotional tumult at that age.

But for Fiona, it was more severe. And she was a proactive person, though, so she found herself a good doctor and started taking meds, and after a while, things started looking up. She was having more good days than bad. It was like the light had come back on, and her joyful and bubbly personality was back. Fiona pursued a teaching degree and got a job teaching year six students at Eastfield Academy,

and she loved it there, so much so that by the time our story starts, she'd been there for decades. Fiona got along great with her students and fellow teachers. She was a fun teacher, the favorite of a lot of her students. There's a video online of her dancing around in front of the classroom while showing the kids a video about nuts and legumes. She's just being a total goofball, and I'm sure the kids were loving it.

Teaching was a true calling for her, not just a paycheck. Fiona still struggled sometimes with depression over the years, but she really felt like she'd found her niche in teaching. She had a career she loved. She had her friends and family. She loved to travel with her sisters, but there was one important element missing in her life. she wanted a partner. And when she was 32 years old, she met a guy she thought would fit the bill. His name was Nicholas Billingham. Nick was a self-employed builder. I think that's what we'd call a contractor over here. He was handsome, charming, really well-liked, and they hit it off big.

Nick was seven years younger than Fiona, but it's not like that's a massive age difference at that age. I mean, mid-20s, early 30s, and if Nick was okay with it, so was she. Fiona was head over heels for this guy, and they had a ton of fun together. But it wasn't all peaches. For one thing, Fiona's family didn't really vibe with Nick. It was nothing they could put their finger on, at least at first, but they had their doubts about the relationship. One of the things that really worried Fiona's sister Jennifer was that the deeper she got into her relationship with Nick, especially after they moved in together, the less the family saw of her. Fiona and Nick had been together for 17 years by the time the event.

events in this story went down. 17 years just dating, and not that you have to get married, but it is kind of unusual to be together that long without making it official. And this might have been because by all accounts, their relationship was pretty rocky. They had some financial tension. Nick's building work could go up and down in terms of income, and he liked to gamble. According to some sources, he had a gambling problem. So he'd lost some money doing that, and then there were the women. If you want to put the best interpretation on it, as some of Nick's friends and co-workers have, he was a big flirt. If you put a more critical interpretation on it, as Fiona's friends and family have, he could be inappropriate with women.

One of Fiona's best friends says he creeped her out a couple of times. Once when she was pregnant and he made a gross comment about how her boobs were going to get bigger now because of the baby. And once when he told her, she was Fiona's best-looking friend. Yikes. Another one of their friends has told a story about having Nick and Fiona over for a party. She ran into Nick on the stairs, and he just flat out said, I want to fuck you. Made her really uncomfortable.

And it wasn't just talk. Nick had cheated on Fiona repeatedly throughout their relationship, prompting quite a few breakups and reconciliations over the years. The most upsetting affair for Fiona was the most recent. Nick met, we'll call her A, at the local pub where she was bartending, and before long, they were seeing each other on the regular. Nick told her about Fiona, but he said they were basically just roommates, no romance between them at all. Tale as old as time. That was the line he gave all the women he cheated with.

They're never basically just roommates, by the way. No. They're never going to leave them. Yep. And then A got pregnant. This was like 2018, 2019. The sources aren't clear which. Whether Fiona suspected anything at this point is unclear, but shortly before the baby was born, Fiona got a letter in the mail. When she opened it, a slip of paper fluttered out. It was a printout of a sonogram. Oh boy. The letter said, Nick, you forgot to take this picture after the scamp, our beautiful baby boy. To Fiona, A. wrote, Now it's clear he was lying to me, which makes me think he's not actually being honest with you either.

A. wrote that she didn't want Nick anymore now that she knew he and Fiona were in an actual relationship. I do not want him back after all the lies and walking out on us when we needed him the most. I will not forgive him or that. I'm just a mom that wants what's best for her child, she said. And she gave Fiona a sort of warning. There will be no trust. You will always wonder where he is, what he's doing, and who he's with. The excuses he gave you every time, I know all of them.

Oof. And the next part must have really twisted the knife. A said, Nick had told her he was only with Fiona for financial reasons, not because he loved her. Oh, man, that's the kind of shit that cuts you to the quick. Mm-hmm. A went on. It's such a shame if we cannot be grown-ups about this and come to an amicable agreement between ourselves or at least discuss it like adults. That's all I've been trying to do with Nick for months, but it seems he's not mature enough to have a discussion about this.

So obviously, when Nick got home from work that day, Fiona confronted him with the letter, Nick pretty much threw himself. on her mercy, but Fiona wasn't having it. She kicked him out of the house, and Nick immediately began a campaign to win her back. In one passionate letter, he wrote, You are the most beautiful woman in the world. You are so kind-hearted in every single way, and if there were more people like you around, the world would be a better place. He apologized to Fiona for making her doubt his love for her.

Did I ever make you think that you weren't the perfect woman for me? He wrote. I miss waking up with you and falling asleep with you. I miss relaxing with you, watching films and cuddling you, holding you tight with my strong arms. Whoa. I promise to never again belittle you or make you feel rubbish again. And he promised her, my body, my heart, my love has been yours since the day I met you and will be yours until the day I die. So laying it on pretty thick, either because he was genuinely in love with you.

her and realizing what a huge mistake he'd made or because, as A said, he relied on Fiona's financial stability. We can't be sure which. Might have been some of each. That kind of romantic letter would be hard to ignore, though, after 17 years of history together, especially since he's acknowledging his faults and apologizing for them, you know, that he's belittled her and been unfaithful to her. So possibly to take a break from the drama and clear her head a bit, Fiona went on an incredible 14-day vacation to Thailand with her family. She confided a lot in her sister Jennifer during the trip. Fiona seemed pretty determined to be done with Nick for good this time,

and Jennifer was glad to see her moving on with her life. She'd felt for a long time that her sister's relationship was toxic and bad for her mental health. Fiona's friends and family's perception was that she pretty much put up with whatever Nick threw at her and never seemed to pop off on him even when she caught him in a lie. But she couldn't help but notice that Nick was texting Fiona all through the trip, and Fiona was responding. And lo and behold, shortly after they got back from Thailand, Fiona told Jennifer that she'd taken Nick back. Again.

Life chugged along for a while with everybody assuming that Fiona and Nick were working on their problems. Opening up communication, I think they went to couples counseling for a while, and the people who loved them hoped for the best. These were both very well-liked and well-loved people, so they had a lot of folks rooting for them. In 2019, as part of their recommitment to each other, they bought a house together, a big step for any couple. Fiona's dad gave them a big financial gift to help him fix the place up, and they were excited. Fiona's sister was encouraged for a while. When she saw them together, Fiona and Nick seemed affectionate and happy. Most of the time, anyway, and Nick was making a lot more of an effort to participate in the family.

He wasn't acting aloof. He was fun and friendly, which is how his friends and colleagues always saw him. But behind closed doors, the old problems were starting to bubble back up. Nick would meet some other women, start an affair, disappear on Fiona for days at a time, then come home and woo her back. And then, of course, in 2020, COVID hit. Fiona and Nick went on lockdown with the rest of the world. This meant a lot of enforced time together. Lockdown put a strain on plenty of healthy, happy relationships. For one, with a foundation full of cracks like Fiona and Nick's, it was not great.

Obviously, they didn't get to see their friends or families much at first, and when Fiona's family did start coming around again, they immediately realized that the vibes had changed. The atmosphere in the house was just thick and tense. At a holiday party that year, Nick just planted himself in a chair at one corner of the room and sat there the whole time, not saying a word to end. anybody. Just sitting there like he had an invisible storm cloud over his head. He wouldn't engage with anybody. He took his plate back to the chair and ate by himself. And before long, he stood up and

announced to the room that he and Fiona were leaving. Yeah. Things were definitely deteriorating between her and Nick. Nick was becoming more and more exacting about the way he thought the house should be kept. He criticized Fiona's cooking. Jennifer saw him flat out refuse to eat if he didn't like the way she'd made something. They were fighting, a lot. And Fiona confided in her diary that she'd started sleeping downstairs on the sofa because Nick couldn't take the sound of her breathing or said she was tossing and turning too much. She wrote that she suspected he was cheating again because he'd, quote, up to the ante on belittling, moaning, and criticizing. This was how it usually went, Fiona wrote. He got mean when he was cheating on her, which is something that we've seen a lot.

I mean, a lot of people, when they're cheating, they get kind of hostile with their partner because they feel guilty, you know, and they take it out on them. Yeah, they have to find reasons that their partner is the bad one, actually. Yeah, so they'll pick fights and stuff. That's really common. On November 1st, 2021, the headteacher at Eastfield Academy Primary School answered her phone to find Fiona on the other end of the line. Nick and I both tested positive for COVID, Fiona said. So we have to isolate for the next couple of weeks. So sorry for the inconvenience. Fiona's colleague told her not to worry about it.

Better to play it safe. Get well soon, she said, before the end of the call. But if he had COVID, Nick didn't seem to be taking any precautions. He got up and went to work that morning as usual. It was the last anyone would see of him. Fiona called her mom that night in tears. Nick had left her, she said, for another woman. He was leaving Northampton to be with this one, Fiona said.

just packed up a bunch of his stuff and took off, and now he wasn't answering her calls or texts. She felt like he might really be gone this time, for good. Her mom thought Fiona seemed sad, but also kind of relieved to have the relationship over and done with, but she didn't want to talk about it much. She let the family know that she just needed some space to process everything. Ten days later, Fiona was back at work, COVID-free and a little subdued. Her friends all consoled her about her breakup. Meanwhile, a few people in Nick's life were getting his side of the story via text.

His mother, Yvonne, got one that said, Mom, I've moved to Essex with a woman named Faye. He told her not to worry that he'd be back in touch once things calm down. Most moms just want their kids to be happy and safe. Yvonne adored Nick. They were a close-knit family and it upset her that Nick wasn't coming home for Christmas that year. so Fiona had her over during the holiday break for some tea and biscuits and a nice chat to help reassure her. They'd been part of each other's family for 17 years.

They didn't have to end their relationship just because Nick had left Fiona. As time went on, Fiona seemed to perk up quite a bit. She lost some weight. Her friends and coworkers noticed she looked brighter and happier and she was getting back to her fun self in the classroom. When her mom and sister went over to the house, they noticed, she'd made all kinds of pretty home improvements. She'd put up all kinds of new decor, repainted the bedroom. She'd even done some work in the back garden. Maybe she was finally moving on from the stormy relationship that had defined her life for almost two decades, entering

her second act. Nick's friends and family were still getting occasional text from him. He'd been to see Manchester United, he told his mom. He thought 2022 was going to be a great year for him. When they texted him, he texted back, always kind of vague, but friendly and reassuring. One friend got a text that said Nick had gotten out of Dodge, gambling and women, mate. In February, Fiona called her mom all excited. She'd been chosen to go on a four-day teacher's workshop in East Sussex at this beautiful hotel. Her parents were so happy for her, and they wanted to hear all about the workshop once she got there. but Fiona didn't text her call.

Kind of strange, but not a huge deal. Fiona had always been the type to need her space when she was processing big things in her life. They were fine to let her reach out in her own time, but then a few days after Fiona was due home from the work retreat, her mom got a call from the head teacher at Eastfield Academy. They were all worried about Fiona, the woman said. She'd called in sick with COVID like three or four days ago,

and they hadn't heard anything from her. The headteacher had tried several times to call and check on Fiona, but she hadn't responded. Her colleagues were starting to wonder if something was wrong. Fiona's parents were confused. She called in sick, so she didn't go to the workshop in East Sussex? The head teacher paused. What workshop? She said.

There wasn't any workshop. This freaked them all out enough that they decided to call in a welfare check on Fiona. She'd been doing well, or so they thought, but, you know, she had a long history of depression, and they weren't willing to leave anything to chance. Fortunately, the police were able to get in touch with Fiona pretty quickly. She was in Cumbria, a gorgeous part of the country that would be the perfect place to take some self-care time. She'd checked herself into a beautiful bed and breakfast there. Fiona told the police she felt bad about lying to everybody about where she was. She just really needed some time to get her head straight and relaxed, she said.

She'd been through a bad breakup recently. When they asked her if she was having any thoughts of self-harm, Fiona reassured them. No, no, nothing like that. Please tell everyone I'm okay, and I'll be home soon. Her parents were relieved, if still a little confused. But then a few days later, relief turned into panic. Jennifer answered her phone to find a sobbing Fiona on the other end of the line. She wasn't making much sense, and she was slurring her words. It sounded like she was really drunk or possibly sedated. Jennifer could just make out that her sister was begging for help.

Right around the same time, Fiona's parents and other sisters all got the same text from Fiona's number. I am so sorry, it said. I love you all so much. The family called the Cumbria police and told them they needed to go check on Fiona immediately. When they forced open the door to her room, one of the officers noticed a little slip of paper on a table near the door. It said something like,

please stay out of the bathroom. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. The officers immediately beeline for the bathroom door. And inside, they found Fiona. And just a heads up, this next part has to do with self-harm. So if you are not in a good place to hear that, skip forward about 30 seconds or so. Fiona was lying in the bathtub with her wrist cut. She was so still that at first they thought she was dead. But then they saw her take a labored breath. Paramedics gathered her up and rushed her to the Royal Lancaster infirmary where she was put on a mental health hold. Worried for Fiona's mental state, the police talked amongst themselves. In her room at the B&B, they'd noticed some journals lying on a table. The doctors might need to know what's in these,

they figured. So after some back-and-forth discussion, they decided to take them to the hospital and hand them over. Maybe Fiona's journals could help her doctors treat her more effectively, which I have no idea if this is a typical thing in the UK, or even if you're in the UK, or even if we do this here in the States. It seems like an incredible violation of privacy to me, but you know, if you've tried to self-harm and your doctors think it would help, I mean, I don't know. Seems bizarre to me. Let me know if you've ever heard of that, because that really struck me as odd. It's a good thing they did, though, in this case. Anyway, as Fiona lay sleeping in her hospital bed, the nurses began to flip through the journals. They went back quite a ways,

and they reflected the ups and downs of her relationship with Nick. As the journals wore on, there were a lot more downs. Fiona had poured hurt and anger into these notebooks, writing about the fights they'd had, the things Nick had said to her, like, you're a fat, boring teacher, and you're a passive doormat. All really sad, but pretty much par for the course in a toxic relationship that should have been over years ago. But then they opened the last notebook and read more recent entries. Shortly after, the police got a call from the hospital. You need to see this. And once the Cumbria police had a look at what was in Fiona's journals, they immediately got in touch with the Northamptonshire police.

Fiona had begun writing in a different persona in these later journal entries, what she called her darker side. She called this alter ego Tulip 22, and Tulip 22 was angry. She called Nick a sociopath and a Jekyll and Hyde. She wrote about, quote, 17 years of him being argumentative, mean, cruel, nasty, lying, cheating, gambling, narcissist, controlling, emotionally abusive, verbally abusive, sexually demeaning.

In one entry, she wrote, everything changed last year. There's a quote from Thelma and Louise that feels appropriate. Thelma, you be sweet to them, especially your wife. My husband wasn't sweet to me. Look how I turned out. And in one entry, she wrote, I guess I have to confess, so here goes. On a night in October, she wrote, Nick had threatened her during sex and spit in her face.

I knew then that redacted name had been telling the truth. I thought about leaving, but the things he said and did fueled my dark side. Tulip 22. She's reckless, fearless, and efficient. Ruthless. I started plotting as Tulip 22 after he'd gone. on to bed. Once Nick was asleep, Fiona wrote, she'd get high and quote, let Tulip 22 out. I knew I couldn't let him get away with it, she wrote.

Halloween sealed it. He was vile. I sat on the kitchen floor and wept as I witnessed the abuse I'd allowed to happen. I allowed so much bad to happen. That night I planned. COVID rules meant I had a guaranteed 10-day isolation period from positive symptoms. I called Claire on the Monday and said we tested positive and had symptoms. He went to work. Tulip 22 smoked and planned.

I'd planned it mentally so many times before. She planned very thoroughly, in fact. She got on Amazon, and using her own card, and Nix, bought a list of things that should have snapped our friend Clippy the murder paper clip to attention. It seems you're planning to clean up a crime scene. Do you need help? Fiona bought cleaning products, window blinds, a mop, a bucket, heavy trash bags, clothes, bed linens, and a new mattress. She went out and bought a knife.

On Monday, November the 1st, Fiona wrote, I'd smoked all day. I had a bath. I left the water in. He'd been pushing for sex. I encouraged the bath with the incentive of sex afterwards. Whilst he was in the bath, I kept the knife in my dressing gown pocket and then hit it in the drawer next to the bed. I brought a chisel, bin bag, and cable ties up, too. I got him to wear an eye mask. It was harder than I thought it would be.

Chiseled. Holy molly. Fiona had lured Nick into bed, slipped a satin eye mask over his eyes, and secured him to the bed with zip ties. Then she brought out her knife and stabbed him in the neck. Nick's last word was why, Fiona wrote. So you won't do to another woman what you did to me, she said. Hiding his body was bad, she continued. Moving a body is much more difficult than it looks on TV, which a lot of killers have said that, and I don't get it.

I don't know why people would expect it to be like the movies and TV. I know, right? That seems to me like another example of the kind of boneheaded thinking that got you into the best in the first place. but yeah it was definitely true for Fiona she totaled her upstairs banister getting the body down the stairs it's like the people who Google how to get away with murder why do you think the answer is is in Google somewhere why would you think it would be anything like the movies it's just with someone who got away with murder write it on the internet like exactly use your head people for love of God

after the murder Fiona went to a DIY store and bought bags and bags and bags of bark chip the kind you use in flower beds. She bought Cotswold Stone and a plastic trough for plants, and she got to work. She had ten days, and she spent it cleaning, repainting, buying more supplies, and burying Nick's body in her back garden. So, the police felt like this journal was probably just fantasy. The ramblings of a woman who was clearly mentally ill. So they didn't really expect to her.

find anything when they went to Fiotta's house with a search warrant. Imagine the prickles on the backs of their necks when they found a blood-stained mattress sitting up against a wall in the basement. Zip ties. The knife. Blood spatter on the bedroom wall. A trash bag full of blood-stained bedding and clothes. And in the garden, a strange patch of mulch that just looked wrong. It didn't fit with the rest of the yard. And Fiona had almost sort of blocked it off with stuff as though she was trying to hide it. The patch was right under Fiona's kitchen window

where she could see it when she stood at the sink washing dishes. Not far from where she'd sat with Nick's mom at Christmas drinking tea and reassuring Yvonne that her son was just starting a new life with a new lady, that she was sure he'd be in touch soon. Investigators began the painstaking process of excavating the patch of garden, and before long they found what they were looking for. The body of Nick Billingham, wrapped in plastic with a sleep mask over his eyes. The sleep mask, pink and and satiny, said, this is my morning afterface. Oh, my God, that's creepy.

Apparently, Fiona had begun to come apart at the seams a couple months after the murder. She'd written in her journal that at first she was able to convince herself that her cover story was true, that Nick had really left her for another woman and was starting a new life somewhere else. But, quote, flashes interrupted, memories of what she'd really done, and she started to fall apart. In the dark times, or just at random moments, she wrote, I remember what I've done, what I am. People are cruel and work is overwhelming, where my mind goes to dark places, she wrote. My self-torment is nothing new. I'm sorry I didn't leave him. I'm sorry I let him rip my self-esteem

apart. I'm sorry I took him back. I'm sorry for what I did. In early February of 2022, happened that probably kicked Fiona's anxiety up a few notches. There'd been some rough weather in the area, and a traffic cop had noticed that Nick's work van was sitting under a big tree. The officer was concerned that if there was high wind or a lightning strike or something, the tree could fall on the van. So they got in touch with Fiona trying to find Nick to advise him to move it. It had all culminated in her suicide attempt at the bed and breakfast. Police placed her under arrest for murder, and she was held without bail. Fiona's attorneys didn't dispute that she'd killed Nick Billingham, but they did want the

charge reduced to manslaughter. Nick was abusive, they argued, and the abuse had warned Fiona's mental health down over time to the point where she just couldn't take it anymore. She snapped. Unsurprisingly, the prosecution didn't see it that way. They saw Fiona as calculating and devious, a woman who had meticulously planned this murder, killed Nick in cold blood, and buried him in the yard, quote, like building waste. The family didn't buy Fiona's excuses either. She wasn't afraid for her life. She didn't do this in self-defense.

She didn't even claim to have. She did it because she was angry. She did it for revenge. A block button is cheaper than a lawyer, campers. Remember that. So the first trial ended in a mistrial three months in for a frustrating reason. One of the defense's witnesses, a woman who claimed to have witnessed things that made her feel like Nick was abusive to Fiona

was a court officer who had done welfare checks on Fiona and her cell. She knew her before her arrest, obviously, but the fact that she worked for the court was a major issue. She also hadn't seen Fiona in like seven years. Now, my problem with Fiona's

defenses, this murder was about as premeditated as it gets. She admits that. For weeks, even months beforehand, she let Tulip 22 come out and plot. She bought the knife, the week before, she stashed murder supplies in the bedroom, cable ties, and trash bags. She ran him a bath and lured him into bed for sex, put a sleep mask over his eyes so he couldn't see what

was happening, and then she attacked. This is not a woman who snapped. And then after the murder, Fiona did all kinds of devious stuff to conceal Nick's death. She buried him in the garden. She sent text to his family and friends pretending to be him. She had his mom over for tea, for God's sakes. Now, does all that mean that she never experienced emotional abuse from Nick or that she couldn't have been seriously unraveling emotionally in the months leading up to the murder? Of course not. I mean, we know a few things about Nick. First, we know he was very well loved by friends and family. He was popular at work. He was fun to be around. He obviously had a wonderful side. We also know that he himself admitted to belittling Fiona and making her feel

rubbish, and we know he admitted to cheating on her, having a child with another woman. Their relationship was pretty awful. This is a complex case, and I don't think it does us any good to try and make it simple. The story is almost like a holograms, like you turn it one way, and you see a woman who suffered years of mental abuse, a woman who finally came apart at the seams and did something brutally out of character for her. You turn it the other way, and you have a woman scorned, who found out her partner was still betraying her, plotted bloody revenge, and then used abuse as an excuse to try and escape consequences. And then there's always that point with a hologram where you turn it just so that it pauses between the two pictures, showing the two kind of overlaying each other.

That could be true in this case, too, that the truth is somewhere in the middle. I'm not a total monster Fiona wrote in her journal. I know what I did. Mm-hmm. And even Fiona doesn't blame her mental health issues for the murder, at least in her journal. She wrote, People will blame my mental health. Yes, it is a factor, and I've always had issues there, but I could have, should have, fixed myself. Exactly. The second trial got underway, and the jury heard from the medical examiner and other forensic experts. Nick Billingham had died from one single stab wound to the jugular vein, very efficient and controlled. He literally had one wound. This isn't true 100% of the time, obviously, but when somebody's in the throes of psychosis or even

sudden passion, we tend to see overkill. Right. This almost seemed like a professional assassination. It was so efficient. It's creepily efficient. Yes. The medical examiner said he wouldn't have died from his injury right away, so there must have been a period of time where she just sat there and watched him bleed out. In addition to the bloody mattress in the basement, CSI's found blood on the bed frame. It would have been extensive. Her body disposal method was efficient too. She mixed concrete. She wrapped Nick's body in plastic, tied up with wire and an old garden hose. She buried him and covered him with compost and bark and decorative plants. She did an excellent job of hiding the grave. Nick's body had been partially mummified when they found him. They had to make

a positive ID through dental records. And then, in the middle of the second trial, Fiona suddenly decided to plead guilty to Nick's murder. Murder, not manslaughter. It was a huge relief for Nick's loved ones. His mother told the press. Nothing will ever make up for the pain we have suffered for the now more than two and a half years since, but at least we can sleep safe in the knowledge that his killer will be locked away for many years. Yvonne is still haunted by the hour she spent that day at Christmas, drinking tea and chatting with her son's murderer as his body lay in the garden. God, right? Nick's death has been terrible for the mothers of his children, too. He had two kids.

Nick clearly had his flaws. It seems like he didn't treat Fiona well in the later years of their relationship, and he copped to that in the letters he wrote her. But people can always change. People can learn and grow and do better. And the fact is, Fiona Beale didn't kill this man because she was scared of him. She wasn't scared of him. She was angry.

And when she took it on herself to end his life, she ended any chance he had of becoming a father to his son. Any chance that son ever had of knowing him. That's the thing. People can learn and grow and learn to do better if they're alive to do it. His youngest son's mother A says she hasn't told her little boy about his dad's murder yet. She'll tell him when he's old enough to understand. She told the press, why would she want to kill him? He didn't deserve this.

It makes me really sad. He was a bit of a lad, but he's not a bad person. He was a person that tried to keep everybody happy. He never disputed he was the dad. He was fully aware. She said that when Fiona found out about the baby, she was furious. And her statement is really interesting to me because this is another woman who was romantically involved with him. And she clearly still has affection for Nick and wanted him to know his child.

So however Fiona tried to be. portray him in court, I don't necessarily think this guy was an awful human being. I think he may have done some awful things in the context of that relationship, because it sounds like it was absolutely poisonous, and they should have ended it a long time ago. But even if he was an awful guy, maybe he was. We weren't there. Even if he was, the fact is that she did not have the right to take his life. She could have walked right out the door and not looked back. And I know that's hard to do in an emotionally abusive relationship. Trust me, I've been there myself. But murder was not her only option. It shouldn't have even been on the list. Fiona was sentenced to a

minimum of 20 years in prison. The judge pretty much ripped her a new one in his comments from the bench. She has demonstrated extraordinary evil. Behind her facade is a kindly school teacher. She was secretly planning the cold-blooded killing of Nick, he said. Once the deed was done, she went to great lengths to conceal his body, dumping him in an impromptu grave like rubbish, before carrying on with her life as if nothing had happened. He called her cruel and calculating. And I'll leave you with this interesting little fact. Fiona used Nick's credit card to buy a lot of things on Amazon right after the murder. Some of it was stuff to clean up the crime scene.

But she also bought herself a pricey vibrant. greater. I mean, obviously, no shade for having one of those. But if you just murdered your partner of 17 years, would that be your focus? Yeah, that's bizarre. She bought a weed grinder too. And then later she claimed she didn't really remember the murder because she was so high at the time. But I don't think I believe her there because she sure as hell remembered enough to write a detailed confession in her diary, right? This is such an interesting case to me, because you have to wonder what would have happened if Fiona hadn't fallen apart and ended up on that bathroom floor in Cumbria.

Would we be talking about this case today? Would Nick still be buried in her garden? I think this might be the first time I've ever seen a murder solved by a diary entry. It's like something out of a movie. And it's a good example of a case where somebody was putting on a happy face to the world while absolutely drowning inside. Fiona was just marinating in her own depression and rage and I wish she'd have reached out for help before letting it get to this point

if she had Nick would still be here his family's hearts wouldn't have been broken and they'd both be getting on with their lives so that was a hell of a wild one right campers you know we'll have another one for you next week but for now lock your doors light your lights and stay safe until we get together again around the true crime campfire and we want to send a special happy birthday shout out to our superfan hope your husband hank loves you a whole bunch obviously to do this for you so we hope you all have the best day and as always we want to send a grateful shout out to a few of our lovely patrons thank you so much

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