True Crime Campfire - When Nerds Attack - KVLT: The Crimes of the Norwegian Black Metal Scene, Pt 2

Episode Date: August 18, 2023

On the song “Freezing Moon,” lead singer of Mayhem howls,“Diabolic shapes float by/Out from the dark/I remember it was here I died”. It’s an oddly prophetic line, considering two members of the band would be dead by 1994, the year the album was finally released. Mayhem was central to the Norwegian black metal scene and most of the members were a part of the Black Circle. The Black Circle was a loosely organized group of black metal musicians who set about burning down churches and committing petty crimes across Norway. Stoked by two demagogues, the group told the public that their motive was to antagonize the Christian church and to do as much evil as possible. Last week, we set the stage. Join us now for its bloody end.Sources:Lords of Chaos by Michael Moynihan and Didrik SøderlindBlack Metal: Evolution of the Cult by Dayal Pattersonhttps://www.musicgenreslist.com/metal-music-genre/https://www.allmusic.com/artist/mayhem-mn0000335302/biographyhttps://metalinjection.net/black-metal-chronicles/black-metal-history-month/an-illustrated-history-of-corpse-painthttps://www.last.fm/music/Mayhem/+wikihttps://www.villagevoice.com/until-the-light-takes-us-a-norwegian-black-metal-documentary/https://www.macrotrends.net/states/minnesota/murder-homicide-rate-statisticshttps://knoema.com/atlas/Norway/Homicide-rate#:~:text=In%202021%2C%20homicide%20rate%20for,per%20100%2C000%20population%20in%202021.Follow us, campers!Patreon (join to get all episodes ad-free, at least a day early, an extra episode a month, and a free sticker!): https://patreon.com/TrueCrimeCampfireFacebook: True Crime CampfireInstagram: https://gramha.net/profile/truecrimecampfire/19093397079Twitter: @TCCampfire https://twitter.com/TCCampfireEmail: [e-mail]! https://true-crime-campfire.myspreadshop.com/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/true-crime-campfire--4251960/support.

Hello, campers, grab your marshmallows and gather around the true crime campfire. We're your camp counselors. I'm Katie. And I'm Whitney. And we're here to tell you a true story that is way stranger than fiction. We're roasting murderers and marshmallows around the true crime campfire. On the song Freezing Moon, the lead singer of Mayhem Hell's diabolic shapes float by. Out from the dark, I remember it was here I died. It's an oddly prophetic line considering two members of the band

would be dead by 1994 the year the album was finally released. Mayhem was central to the Norwegian black metal scene and most of the members were a part of the Black Circle. The Black Circle was a loosely organized group of black metal musicians who set about burning down churches

and committing petty crimes across Norway. Stoked by two demagogues, the group told the public that their motive was to antagonize the Christian church and to do as much evil as possible. Last week we set the stage. Join us now for its bloody end. This is Part 2 of Cult,

the crimes of the Norwegian black metal scene. So, Campers, when we left you at the end of part one, there was a spate of arsons happening all across Norway, mostly targeting historic Christian churches. The perpetrators were a group of young men involved in the local black metal scene. The mouthpiece of the group was Euronymous, who owned a metal record shop and black metal music label, and the ringleader was Varg Vekernus. Investigators initially thought many of the arsons were accidents, but as they continued, they began to realize that there was something wicked in the heart of their country.

But let's put a pin in that for a moment and discuss. discussed Bored A-tune. Bord was a fixture on the scene. He played drums for Stigma Diabolicum, thorns, an emperor under the stage name Faust, as well as producing a zine that focused on black metal bands in Norway. He initially met Euronymous when he wrote a letter to mayhem for his zine, and Euronymous wrote him back, about which I imagine he totally fan-boyed out. When Faust turned 18, he moved to Oslo from Lillehammer and started working and living at Helvetta. One of Faust's ex-bandmates describes him as pretty much the worst kind of true crime buff. He said, he had been very fascinated by serial killers for a long time,

and I guess he wanted to know what it's like to kill a person. Whether or not he was encouraged by the increasing severity of the crimes committed by the Black Circle, nobody can really know, but my money's on probably. And shit was about to escalate. In August of 1992, Faust traveled from Oslo to visit his family in Lillehammer. On the evening of the 21st, he left his family's house to go to a bar, where he had one drink before deciding to bail. Heading back toward his family's place, he cut through a park that had just been built in anticipation of the 94 Winter Olympics. I wonder if he'd already decided he was going to kill somebody that night.

If he gripped the knife he kept in his pocket. If he was sizing up the passers-by. Faust always had a knife on him, he says, because he lived in Oslo. He told a journalist, I don't consider that. a weapon, more like an insurance in case something unexpected happens. It's better to have a knife you don't need than to not have one when you need it. When asked if he felt like he needed it the night of the murder, he said, I didn't need it, but someone got killed anyway. Quite incredible. Right. Incredible. It's like fascinating, Captain. Oh my God. So, on his walk home, a man in his

50s approached Faust and tried to strike up a conversation. Immediately, Faust could tell this guy was a lot drunker than he was. The man's name was Magna Andreasen, and what he said he wanted was a light for his cigarette. Now, Faust understood this to mean that Magna was a gay man hoping to hook up with him, and when Magna invited him to continue their chat in the woods, he agreed. He later told author Michael Moynihan, already I had decided that I wanted to kill him, which was very weird because I'm not like this. I don't go around and kill people. Yeah? Well, evidently you do, you fucking dick flute. I mean, what does that even mean? The two men walked for a long time to get to the woods,

with Magna following closely behind Faust. When they finally got under the cover of trees, Faust gripped his knife, turned on his heel, and drove his knife into Magna's stomach. He stabbed Magna repeatedly, even after his victim had fallen to the ground. Magna fought hard for his life, but he just couldn't get the upper hand,

especially after they were on the ground. He stabbed Magna. 37 times, the last time so forcefully that he had to brace his foot against Magna's back to wrench the knife out. At that, Faust started to walk away, but then he heard Magna make a little noise. He was still alive, still struggling. Faust turned back. He kicked the dying man in the head again and again until finally the sound stopped.

Then he went and washed his hands in a stream, though his clothes and face were still covered. in blood. Once he got home, he washed his clothes and showered. No one had seen him walking with Magna. No one had heard the struggle. No one had seen him walking home. It seemed like he would get away with it. So why are we talking about it? Well, because in true dipshit fashion, our boy could not shut the fuck up about it. The morning after it happened, he called Euronymous. True to Brand, And Euronymous asked if Faust had been listening to any evil music beforehand. Faust said he'd been listening to Hellhammer, the band, not the guy that we talked about last episode, but he said that it didn't matter what he'd been listening to.

He wanted to commit a murder and commit a murder he did. Yeah, I bet Euronimus was disappointed in him for that, don't you? He was really hoping he'd say, yeah, I was listening to your entire repertoire, man, and just woke the bloodlust right up. Dork. Dork. Later, when asked if he regretted the murder, Faust said, nah, he felt like it was semi-justified, really. After all, Magna hit on him. Oh, the horror. Yeah, this motherfucker said,

I don't like it when they're, meaning gay people, trying to get people who aren't homosexual. It's okay if they want to be homosexuals, but at least they must stay with their own people. They should not expect that every man they see around is homosexual. They don't, my dude. What are you talking? about. He goes on to say that any straight man approached by gay man might react the same way. Basically, it's the gay panic defense. Right, right. I mean, everybody knows that gay men can immediately ID each other on site. I would venture a guess that Faust has hit on women before, not once thinking about if they're interested in him or even men in general. It's so weird to me that

this is so threatening for straight guys. Like being hit on is some kind of huge. insult or puts them in some kind of grave danger. Here's the thing. If you habitually hit on women don't take no for an answer and then get violent with them when they reject you, maybe you're projecting that shitty behavior onto the gay dudes when they hit on you. Yeah, I mean, we're not sociologists or nothing, but that seems like a thing to consider. How about just no thanks and walk away? Ladies have had to learn to do it. Y'all can too. All right. So after the murder, Faust told Euronymous, Euronymous told Varg, and the night after it happened, Varg bragged to a girl about all the evil activities he and his little buddies were getting into. And pretty soon, it was an open

secret in the scene, like a fucked-up game of telephone. And of course, nobody thought to call the police. I guess that would be like super uncult of them to narc on these guys. The very next day, Faust, Eronomis, and Varg burned Holman-Cole and chapel together. For that one, Varg made some bombs, which, of course, didn't work right. So they had to set the fire the old-fashioned way. Such a fail-wale, Varg. Oh, Varg. For just over a year after the murder of Magna Andreessen, Faust was a free man

until Varg decided to talk to a journalist. See, initially, the police weren't able to make any connection between the fires and the gang of baby-brain Satanists until Varg took an interview with the Bergen's Teethana. You see, in general, In January 1993, two of Varg's friends presented the local paper with an anonymous interview that they wrote with him, identifying him as someone who knew about the arsons. They hoped that the paper would publish it in full. Instead, the paper sent a reporter, and Varg sat down with journalist

Finn Björn Tunder, who Varg derisively dismissed as a Christian. He led the man up the stairs to his flat at midnight, windows covered by carpets, and introduced himself as Count Grishna. to which the reporter was like, huh? Nerd. Anyway, the reporter seemed to have Vargs number pretty much within the first and seconds. I love this. He wrote,

The apartment is clearly not the residence of an ordinary person. It is either just an overgrown kid who finds Nazi paraphernalia, weapons, and satanic symbols exciting, or BT's reporters have come into a world few people understand. I know which option I'm picking. I love this reporter.

In the interview, Varg anonymously spilled the cultish beans. He told Tunder, our intention is to spread fear and devilry, fear of the powers of darkness. That is why we are telling this to Bergen's teezer. It started with Fantoft's stave church. We're not stopping with the eight church's fires so far. I figure that's how he said it. Yeah, it's exactly how he said it. Count Grisnach and all.

Now, during the Phantoft arson, he said that he and his associates, fellow nerds, were hoping to come across a local university student. They could sacrifice to the dark lords and whatnot, but they couldn't find one. Because, you know, it's real tough to find a college student wandering around on a Friday night. I mean, I get it, or too bad. So instead, they did the next best thing. and content warning for animal cruelty here, they caught and decapitated a rabbit

to represent the forces of good being burned in the fire, which I know you can't see me, but I'm given a double whammy flip-off right now because that suck. This horrific little detail was confirmed by a professor who worked at the Fantoft Church, which he said that he wasn't even sure the police were aware of,

which is pretty bizarre. I mean, I'm not sure how they'd miss a 12th century church burning down, but maybe they weren't investigating it as a... arson yet? I don't know. Now, Varg seemed to believe that if he didn't explicitly say he was involved, the police wouldn't be able to prove he had anything to do with it. Yeah, I'm not sure why, but it's a belief he holds to this day. In every interview he gives, he's like, well, we thought we would catch a rabbit or we were doing a lot of crimes. Who is we, Varg? But yeah, the police had nothing

on him and their investigation was flawed. Not sure about that, Varg. You said the word we about 50,000 times. Yeah, we doesn't usually mean like those other dudes over there. Nothing to do with me. Maybe it's a French guy in his name was me. Wee, we, we, we. It's in this interview where he confirmed that they intentionally set the fire on the sixth day of the sixth month at six o'clock in direct reference to the number of the beast, 666. Later, though, when to Discussing the crime with Moynihan, Varg insisted that the intention behind the Fantoft fire was to take back Norway from the Christians on behalf of Odin. You see, on June 6, 793, Vikings from Hortaland raided Britain for the first time.

Fantoft is built on a sacred heathen site, Varg insisted in this 2.0 version of the story. Burning it down was an effort to take the land back from Christianity. And I think this is the power. of Varg's personality. He's insistent that the church fires had nothing to do with something as juvenile Satan worship. And the first raid on English soil did happen that day on June 6th. But as to whether that's the true reason, I'm skeptical, especially since he still refuses to admit it was him and because he's the one that linked the fires to Satanism in the first place. Right. That's the frustrating thing about Varg. It's easy for him to change the narrative, and he can be

dangerously convincing. He told Moynihan, I might know what happened. If it turns out to be correct, well, it was just a lucky guess. The first church burned on the 6th of June with the intention probably to light a flame, to put dried grass and branches on the coal

and the fire to make it big. It's a psychological picture, an almost dead fire, a symbol of our heathen consciousness. What is this? O.J. Simpson's, if I did it? It's like Schrodinger's confession. It both is and isn't.

God, he's such a little wussy. Just own it, you massive knob end. Come on. It's just pathetic. Just say, if you're so proud of it. Right. Well, and especially because, like, he's the one that's, like, obsessed with Odin. And, like, none of the other dudes are.

They're still Satanists. So, like, they don't care. So if it's about Odin, dude, it's you. Yeah, they don't have a dog in that fight. That would be you. In his interview with Finn Tunder, Varg went on to provide explicit details of the Osana arson, details that the police confirmed to be true. He claimed that the Black Circle manipulated a, quote, less intelligent person to commit

the arson for them. This less intelligent... That would be you, Mark. God, it's true. Well, this less intelligent is. individual later spoke to the police just to spite Varg, which is just, it just shows that Varg really thinks that he has people under his thumb and he can just say whatever he wants. And then people around him are like, what the fuck, dude?

Varg closed out his interview with Finn Tundr with a fun little tidbit for investigators. He said he had been involved in the murder of a gay man in Lillehammer. Now, Varg thinks that Tunder broke his journalistic ethics to pass. his name to police. But I got to say, there had to be a shortlist of dudes with connections in Oslo who are constantly saying the most cringe-worthy shit imaginable. Yeah, and in truth, the police were already on Varg's trail. They brought him in before the article had even been finalized. They came across a flyer for Burzum's upcoming album, Oskah, which means Ash in Norway. The cover of the album features a picture of the burned-out husk of Fantof Chapel. Doesn't take Miss Marple to make

that connection. So they brought him in for questioning and he actually tried to say he'd never talked to the reporter, but there were four newspaper employees there that confirmed that it was, in fact, Varg. Wamp, womp. It doesn't help that Varg had been gossiping to his friends about what he did. He had photos of Fantoft that he'd carry around in his wallet and shoving people's faces like, look what I did. To be fair, not many of them actually talked to authorities. A member of Emperor would say that they felt a brotherhood when they saw the spree of arson. Oh, cute. The Brotherhood of the Traveling Corpse-Paint. Yeah, it's a heartwarming, isn't it?

So they brought in Uistine, Euronymous, members of the band Immortal, and Board A-Tune, aka Faust. Because Varg was so blatant in talking about the Andreasen murder, and because he said he did it, they assumed he'd done it. And so when Faust showed up, the investigators thought he was full of shit and just let him walk. Good job. The investigation, like most at the time, involving satanic rituals, was a little silly. In one of their reports, the investigators put in a satanic calendar, which seemed to be mostly influenced by the American satanic panic, so it featured a lot of holidays that centered around abusing kids. Hey boy.

So they held Varg for a little over a month, during which I think he had the time of his life. Once he told the cops that at the next interview, he'd lay his cards on the table and tell them everything. And when he walked in the next time, he took out a deck of cards and set him down on the table, which is the same kind of stupid shit that BTK was always doing. Now, if you don't know, our mutual enemy and target of our never-ending ire, Dennis Rader, boo, liked toying around with the investigators like this, too. At one actual murder scene, he ate a bowl of cereal so that he could make the joke that he was a serial killer. Yeah, he really should have gone on the Tonight Show with jokes like that.

He missed his calling, really. Yeah, they must issue these dorks a book of dad jokes at birth. Yeah, and this is fun. Varg once showed up at the Federal Investigators' temporary headquarters in Bergen wearing chain mail with knives stuck in his belt and two dudes following behind him like henchmen or some shit. And he walked up and demanded that the investigation be stopped. And when the feds were like,

Ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha, no. Varg proceeded to give a Nazi salute and left. Charming. Like, what is even happening? Can you all imagine what would happen here in the States if a suspect in a murder showed up in armor with knives at FBI headquarters? Like, ooh. But the Norwegians were just like, go away, Varg, and he went. Do they give Norwegian cops water guns at least so they can squirt the criminals like naughty cats?

doubted. But man, I would pay good money to see somebody squirt Varg in the face and say, no, Varg, go lay down. Go get in your bed, get in your bed. And he'd go, apparently. Apparently. So all in all, the police held Varg until March, but had to let him go for lack of evidence. Evidence of murder, anyway. They had plenty of evidence of him being a twat. But, you know, you can't keep a good nerd down. And at the end of March, Varg, Euronymous gave an interview to Kerrang, a UK-based music magazine. Still around, by the way. Kerrang.

It's one of the most notorious articles Kerrang ever published, but in my opinion, it was more of the same pizza cutter bullshit as the Bergen's Tidenda article. Pizza cutter bullshit? All edge, no point. It's going to like that. I'm easing that one. It's really what this whole series boils down to, is, all edge, no fucking point.

God. This is the interview in which Varg claimed that he admired genocidal dictators like Stalin, Hitler, and Romania's Nikolai Chaochescu. He claimed that he wanted to become Scandinavia's dictator. Which, yeah, later he said this interview was bullshit and he never said he wanted to become Scandinavia's dictator. He would, he would, we want Scandinavia to have a dictator. And if it happened to be him,

God, he's such a jackass. I hate him. The pair of boy besties also said, quote, we support Christianity because it oppresses people, and we burn churches to make it stronger. We can then eventually make war with it. I love that Varg says this shit and then has the nerve to, like, be mad

that people associate him with Satanism. It's like, dude, they're just listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth. from your lips to gods of your sister. The scene's reaction to this article was initially pretty positive. Fans made Count Grishnott Comics and Flyers. People were really digging the evil acts perpetrated by their favorite bands. This was the most PR any of their shitty bands had ever received.

They were already hyped about the churches, and to them, a few murders made them seem even more brutal. What's the average age of the fan base? Like, when you say people are making comics, please tell me it's 14. Because if these are grown-ass adults, I won off this planet. Everyone was startlingly young. Like, Varg is like 20. Eronomus is older. He was like 25, which makes sense, but he was like the centerpiece.

But, yeah, they were all like 18 to 20-year-old. Okay. I don't want to say boys because they were adult men. But the fans were young, yeah, too. 14, right? Yeah, babies. The Creepos, which is basically the Norwegian FBI, quickly said about investigating the crimes while Varg and Euronymous were about to discover the find-out portion of fuck around and find out. Shortly after the Kerrang article was released, Euronimus was forced to close Helvetta, partially at the behest of his parents who had invested quite a bit into the shop.

They did not enjoy the media and police attention that surrounded their son's store. He had a pretty close relationship with them, and they were able to sway him. even away from his evil persona. Asca had been released on Euronymous's label, Death Like Silence Productions, and had been selling pretty well. Unfortunately, despite being the consummate salesman, Euronymous wasn't a great businessman. He was the dreamer, pushing black metal toward its inevitable fiery demise. He owed Varg Vekernes money from the sales of Asca. He'd borrowed money from Varg's mom for the initial recording, plus money he'd borrowed from Varg for his businesses previously. Also, Varg wanted

to move Burzum to another label, but he was getting pressure from Euronymous to stay on DSP. Other friends believed that Varg had been simmering with jealousy over the fact that Faust had committed a murder and was getting clout from it. Oh, Lord. Some of their friends believed that Varg was jealous of Euronimus notoriety. Since he was the one constantly speaking for the scene, Euronimus was the first person that people associated with black metal aside from the music. By August, Euronimus had been consumed with some kind of beef with the Swedish black meddlers over what I'm sure was incredibly important stuff, like whether to wear Midnight Black or Onyx Black or like Anish Kapoor's Vantablack.

Yeah, or who could make the most incomprehensible album or wear the biggest studs? Who has the most depressing winters, Norway or Sweden? You know, you can weigh, y'all can weigh in on that one in the comments, you know, just critical stuff. And all that, plus the friction reaching a critical mask, gave Varg some pretty nasty ideas. Varg recruited two friends, one being Snorri Rook, to help plan the murder of Euronimus. Snorri, who lived in Bergen and had been in bands around the Oslo scene, said that he didn't really know Euronimus that well, and it only agreed to help because Varg had pressured him to. When asked to elaborate, he said, Varg is very authoritarian. He gets people to go along with him. On August 10, 1993, Varg decided that the unnamed friend would stay in Bergen with one of Varg's ATM cards, so they could withdrawing.

withdraw money from an ATM, providing an alibi, while Snorri and Varg drove to Oslo. Prior to their departure, the three made sure to be seen renting a VHS tape from a video store. The movie was one Snorri and Varg had already seen, so they could explain the plot if they were ever questioned. Varg also brought along a copy of the renewed record contract, which Euronymous had sent over signed, with Varg's signature and dated the previous day, so the police would think that Varg had been in Oslo the day before the murder, not the day of. Truly genius stuff. The cops would never think of somebody changing the date on a piece of paper.

Evil genius. In anticipation of the murder, Varg and his two conspirators burned a photo of Euronymous with the words, Death to the Red Rat, written on it, along with the magical incantation. Oh yeah, we told you there'd be magic with the K. Unfortunately, though, their plan was almost immediately fucked because Varg gave his friend the wrong ATM card. So there was no alibi withdrawal. So we can't build a bomb. We don't know how to tell one ATM card from another, apparently.

And y'all, this next part is just delightful. Apparently, Varg was so convinced of his fame that he told Snorri to drive. So, you know, Varg wouldn't get recognized on the way from Oslo to Bergen. Instead, to keep the hordes of screaming fans at bay, the King of Evil hid in the backseat of his Volkswagen Golf under a pile of t-shirts. Hang on. Yep.

The Prince of Darkness drove a golf? Yep. And he rode all the way to Bergen in it under some laundry. Okay. Do you think it was like Burzim merch or dirty clothes?

I figure probably a melange of both, really. But I really do want it to be dirty laundry. Preferably like his own skidmarked underpants. Yeah, two girls can dream, you know. And I hope he had to hide under there for the whole entire drive. Please. Okay, so they got to Oslo at 3 a.m. and found themselves outside Euronymous's apartment. Snorre offered to join Varg upstairs for moral support, and Varg agreed. Outside of the apartment, Varg rang the buzzer and Euronymous answered, grogly. He seemed a little shaken at hearing

that Varg had come to visit and tried to get him to go away. Like, I've been sleeping, come back tomorrow. But Varg told him he'd brought the Burzum contract and wanted the business done and over with. Reluctantly, Euronymous buzzed them up. Snorre opened the door, taking care to wipe fingerprints from the knob as they entered the building. That's creepy.

Varg, criminal genius that he is, had meant to bring gloves but forgot them. Just, is anyone playing bad? Bad criminal bingo. Anyone? We might get a black out here. Snorri waited on the stairs as Varg went into Yoronimus's apartment on the fourth floor where Yeronimus was waiting for him in his underwear. What exactly transpired in that apartment?

Only two men know. But whatever happened, it quickly spun out of Vark's control. Euronimus, already bleeding, stumbled out of the apartment screaming for help. He rang his neighbor's doorbells all down the hall as he sprinted away from Varg. Varg chased after him into the stairwell, swinging the knife the whole way. In the stairwell, Euronymous knocked over a lamp and tripped, falling onto the shards of glass and cutting his feet in the process. Varg passed him at that point, trying to head him off at the exit. Finally, Varg raised the knife over his head and brought it down into Euronymous's skull, with such force that he had to wrench the knife

free as his friend's body tumbled down the stairs. Euronimus' official cause of death was exanguination. all in all he'd been stabbed 37 times that's the same amount of times isn't it so creepy yes it almost makes me wonder if it's on purpose like he wanted to make sure he at least was level with faust yeah that is and that is really interesting and the detail about having to wrench the yeah the weapon out it's like the same story it's so weird is these two creepy little bookends yep it's it's it makes me sick and it kind of validates the fact that he was jealous of Bord, of Faust. Yeah, oh, yeah, I think so, too. Afterward, Sauri and Varg were concerned that Euronymous might have survived the attack.

Also, they'd made a lot of noise, so someone might have seen them in the building. They wanted to call the third guy who was waiting at Varg's apartment to tell him to leave in case the cop showed up in Bergen. They stopped about 20 minutes out of Oslo, dumped the knife in a pond, and found a payphone, which was out of service. As they were standing there trying to get the phone to work, a police car drove by. That freaked them right out. And I'm sure they looked suspicious as fuck.

Like two, like, I don't know, black-clad gremlins trying to, like, get a pay phone to work. They hopped back in the car and the police car followed them, trying to get them to pull over. Apparently, VW golfs are speedy cars, though, so they managed to get away. By the time they got back to Bergen, the two were well and truly paranoid. They saw undercover police and every passerby. Now, Varg's version of events differ greatly from stories, as you might imagine. He says the whole thing wasn't his fault. He insists that Euronymous's death wasn't planned at all and that the other members of the scene hated him too.

He's like, they were fed up with this big talk and lack of delivery. All he did was eat kebabs from the Pakistani shopkeeper next door and drink cooking. Coca-Cola. How dare he eat non-Norwegian food, right? And he's like, he wasn't even Norwegian. He was half Sami, which made everybody hate him more. Now, the Sami people, of course, are the indigenous people of Norway, Sweden, Finland, and parts of Russia. It's so weird.

All his complaints about people are so, like, specific. You know, it's like food, check. Patronage of immigrant-owned small businesses, check. Non-viking heritage, check. Varg, have you considered the possibility that you're just a miserable bastard? Look into it. So, Vard didn't do it, but if he did, he had good reason to. But he definitely didn't do it.

But if he did, he was just defending himself. See, some other band dudes had called Varg up and told him that Euronymous was going to kill him. He was going to use a stun gun, kidnap, and torture him. And Euronimus had a big mouse, so you know that if he wasn't serious, he'd have, like, requested an interview with the New York Times to announce it or something. So Vard believed it was a credible threat. Reasonable as he is, he decided to drive over seven hours to Euronimus home, in the middle of the night and demand an explanation, which is a totally normal reaction, right,

to walk up to someone who allegedly plans to torture you and kill you in cold blood for no reason and be like, what the fuck, bro? I thought we were good. You know, just reason with him. Anyway, in Varg's version, when Euronymous led him in the apartment, the guy panicked.

Kicked Varg in the chest and scrambled to get a kitchen knife. Now, campers, this detail in committing murder Vargs version stopped me in my tracks, and I had to do some additional research. Now, Varg Vekernus is 5'10. Euronymous was 5'6. Bit of a short king. We usually love our short kings, by the way.

No hate. I'm 5.6, too. So Katie actually texted me one afternoon, because this is kind of friendship we have, and asked if I'd try to kick my 511 husband in the chest. I mean, sure, you know? I mean, not actually. Just mime it, like, see if I could.

And, I mean, I did it, because, you know, years of yoga. classes and stuff, but it definitely wasn't natural. I mean, it would not be my first move if I was trying to defend myself. I would go for the nuts, obviously, because it's nature's remedy. Let's all take a second and fantasize about kicking Varg Vekerness and the nuts. I can't lie, I've already done that many times over the past couple of weeks, but I'll do it again. It's nice. With all your might, just rear back and, oh, right in the cleft. that felt good so I guarantee you he drops like a sack of hammers

and we don't hear from him again for the foreseeable future so anyway the point is I think Varg is probably full of shit here I very much doubt that a sleepy man barefoot and in his underpants would immediately go for the chest kick over like the squishier bits you know I know it's not very sporting but if you're scared for your life you're going to go for the nuts

So Varg said that he managed to stop Euronymous from grabbing the knife, stabbed him once, and Euronimus immediately ran toward his bedroom. The bedroom, Varg knew, was where he allegedly kept the gun that dead had used to shoot himself, as well as a stun gun. So Varg chased him and eventually herded him out of the apartment where the final moments of Euronim's life took place. He dismisses the official story as bullshit. He didn't even have an ATM card to leave in Bergen, and he actually didn't forget the glomis. gloves and the autopsy called the cause of death blood loss, but he stabbed Euronymous in the head. No one's ever survived that, I mean, right? Yes, they have many times, by the way. Also, there was no way he stabbed Euronimus 37 times. Of course not. The dumb medical examiner that did the

dumb autopsy must have mistaken the dumb wounds from the dumb broken lamp for knife wounds. Varg only had to stab him three or four times because he's so tough. also god we're so stupid he had gloves on him the whole time so if he planned to commit a murder he would have used them for sure because he's not stupid he literally said that he's like they were in my front pocket dude when asked if any of the neighbors open the doors to youronymous's screams he smugly said they didn't dare they thought it was some drunken fight. It's the worst neighborhood in Oslo. And then he mentions that the population was 60% people of color. He actually said something way more rude, but we're not repeating that

shit. In true black metal fashion, no one seemed particularly sad about Euronymous's death. They all mostly agreed that it was stupid and pointless, but in one interview in Lords of Chaos, a friend of Eronomis said, I was kind of shocked because I knew him quite well at the time, but it didn't change anything else for me, Euronymous being dead. Nice. What happened to the brotherhood, fellas? I thought, I thought, I thought there was a brotherhood? Was that just a bunch of posturing bullshit? I'm shocked. A few years ago, Necrow butcher, remember him from the last episode? Anyway, he told a reporter that he was actually on his way to kill Euronimus himself, but Varg got to him first.

This was a 50-year-old man trying to steal clout from a decades-old murder. Christ, dude. Go touch grass. Get a life. God. The investigation into Euronymous's death was definitely not lacking in suspects. Euronimus had pretty much alienated every non-Norwegian black metal band in Scandinavia. The cops initially focused on the Swedish bands that Euronimus was currently antagonized.

but it seemed like none of them had been in the country. The man had no lack of enemies, especially when you take into account the negative media attention that had placed him in his record shop firmly in the spotlight. The cops brought in anyone who had a passing familiarity with Eronomus for questioning. That included Faust,

former mayhem band members, and Varg himself. Most of them either assumed it was a stranger murderer or that one of the Swedes finally snapped. Varg insisted it was the Satanist Swedes. But that rumor was put to bed by a 16-year-old girl who told the police that Euronymous had squashed the beef with the Swedish dudes. In fact, she and the other black metal folks knew who killed Euronymous, but said that the black metal scene will exact its own revenge against him. She spoke with them for eight hours total, dropping breadcrumbs like a corpse-painted Gretel. She said that she couldn't tell them who it was for fear of her life, but Euron's,

Oronimus wouldn't have let a stranger into his apartment. That wasn't his style. She also mentioned that Faust had gotten away with murder. She might as well have played hangman with them with Varg Vkerness's name. Oh, oh, is there a V? Score two of them? So they interviewed this girl on the 13th of August, three days after Euronimus death. On August 19th, they had enough to put the habeas grabus on Varg Vekernus,

snorri Rook, and the third accomplice. Snorri almost immediately confessed. He was basically like, yeah, our story was bullshit. The cops knew anyway, and I wasn't going to go down for this other dumb motherfucker. Good for you. Varg thinks that if Snorri and the teenager could have kept their mouths shut, he wouldn't have been caught. He also called this poor 16-year-old girl a stupid bitch, as well as using a slur for the Romani people. Ain't he a peach?

The question Varg isn't asking is how a 16-year-old got this information in the first place? Is it because of his big fat mouth? Because I feel like it is. It's like we said last episode, these dudes are gossipier than a seventh grade cafeteria. And for the record, it's also absolutely not true. There was a mountain of evidence pointing to Varg. They might have taken a bit longer, but they would have gravest his habeas eventually. Snorri pointed out, he left behind fingerprints in the blood and the contract.

His excuse about the contract was going to be that he wrote the wrong date. He claimed in the media to have difficulty knowing what day it was. Actually, I would believe that because he is dumb as shit. But that, as you can see, doesn't make any sense. Varg has delusions of grandeur that I think would put Ted Bundy to shame. Because Snorri turned on him, he's Vargs' enemy number one. Varg speaks of him like he's trash. The first thing that happened is that I was arrested after a guy snitched on me, Snorri.

He's a nobody, a loser, a sick, feeble guy. He now wishes he'd killed him, because if he'd done so, he'd never been caught. Sure, Varg. Faust was arrested for murder shortly after Varg, along with several other suspects in arson. Because this wouldn't be a nerds attack episode without someone having the fortitude of a wet paper bag, they all confessed pretty much immediately. Faust was convicted of murder and sentenced to 14 years in prison. He was released after serving a little over nine.

Snorri was convicted and sentenced to eight years, which he served every bit of. He and Faust are both currently on the roster of several bands, which is disturbing. Oh, my God. Varg Vekernus was convicted of murder and sentenced to 21 years in prison. He served about 15 years and was released shortly after an escape attempt. Well, I say escape attempt, but he'd been allowed to leave the prison on his own recognizance and just, like, failed to recog. Fun fact about Norwegian prison, it's basically adult daycare. Okay. And I mean, I wish our prison system was a little gentler, but holy shit.

Yeah. Like, y'all, bless your hearts. They don't punish prisoners for trying to escape because it's human nature to try to escape. Really? And I have family in Norway. It's a beautiful country, but holy shit. That just cracks me up. It's human nature to try to escape. Bye. Well, please come back. There was another escape, quote unquote, escape attempt where a couple of neo-Nazis were armed to the fucking teeth and planned to break him out of prison.

And that's normal. That's a normal thing to do. Super. Would they have just like allowed that to? No problem. It's human nature. Bye. Please don't kill us.

Varg was also given access to recording equipment in prison with which he recorded two albums of really terrible ambient music. He also had access to enough of the outside world that he allegedly started a political movement, the Norwegian Heathen Front, which is basically neo-Nazism for people that insist they're related to Eric the Red. In support of his cause, Varg says very genius things like, it's very racial. Look at the sky. It's blue. The sea is blue. The flowers are blue and my eyes are blue. Behind the heavens are the stars. They are eternal wisdom. The ocean is a sea of wisdom. My eyes are blue. Everything is in the blue eyes. But if I look into brown eyes, I could just as well be looking up their ass. Brown is like shit. I know.

I know. Screw you, man. I have brown eyes. You can shove right up your ass. All these brown-eyed people are heartbroken. But fear not. Talk to Van Morrison about it. Brown-eyed girl.

But fear not. He gives us the solution. which is if you have brown eyes, have a child with someone who is blonde with blue eyes. Your kid might have booty hole eyes, but there might be hope for their child. Oh my God. This man did one punnet square in sixth grade

and used it to organize an entire belief system. And, you know, he's one to talk about looks. He's got a beard that's basically just like a rat king of split ends. And it looks like it has egg in it, like always. It's permanent egg. And not to sound offensive, but brown is also the color of stone, of wood, of, like, fur. Like, shut the fuck up, dude. Autumn leaves.

Like, what do you mean? Like, he's so stupid. It's such a stupid, stupid take. Blue is the color of wood stone. Not all of them. Some of them are orange and red and yellow. What are you talking about? Shut up, Varg.

I really hope he listens to this. Years crossed. I'd never even heard of the dude before this, but I really hate him now. It's honestly, it's crazy making. Like, it's literally one of the, like, most, like, I felt crazier the past two weeks than I have, like, my whole life. As Michael Moynihan put it in Lords of Chaos, Varg hopes to one day purify Scandinavia by getting rid of, quote, Jews, political dissidents, homosexuals, and bisexual men. Bisexual women will, for some reason, be allowed to live. Maybe for their potential use in a wholesome national socialist minagetois?

Yeah, these guys are always fine with bisexual women because they think bisexual women will be their bangmaids instead of like having thoughts and feelings and opinions. Can I watch? As deep as a kiddie pool, this guy. Varg now has a wife and eight children. Apparently they moved to France, where in 2013, Varg was arrested in connection to a potential tail. terrorist attack targeting the French prime minister. Don't think anything came of that, nothing I could find at least. Wow.

Now that Vargs out, he's mostly being annoying on Twitter, where he'll show up like the ghost of Church Burning's past to tell you about some racist opinion or another, or that gravity isn't supported by science. Not now, Varg. Not now, Varg. He also made a really terrible tabletop roleplay. game called My Farag that has four editions. It seems like incredibly boring, but bafflingly has four point six stars on Amazon. This man has a definitional difference between a light and a gentle

breeze, for God's sakes. Get a grip. Because I know, I know it's his little fanboys that are like Varg so deep, Varg so cool. Of course that is. God. Ew. Ew. Ew. It. Ew, ew. He's probably got a whole chapter about blue, this is blue, and that is blue, and that is blue, and my bulge are blue, and the sky is blue. Shut up. Oh. I guess now is the time where we say that Euronymous, for all of his many, many flaws, didn't deserve to be murdered. We were pretty critical of him because, well, he's a pseudo-fascist dork that orchestrated the nerdiest and most violent music scene I've ever heard of. But we want to be clear. He did not deserve to die.

or you know what even if you think he did okay here's the thing that bothers me about this about like prison violence and stuff which is why we don't tend to make jokes like oh i hope he's getting the shit kicked out of him in prison or whatever like even though i can sometimes like understand that impulse but we don't tend to make those jokes because here's a thing varg did not have the right to kill him okay why should he get to have that power he's a sniveling little piece of shit it's not like he's some frigging angel eronymous was a very flawed person yes but varg had no right to do that to him or to any anybody else? Snorre, you know, the guy who helped kill him, said that Euronimus was actually sensitive, that his bluster and evil were all a show. He said, I like Oistine for what he was, but he refused to admit that he was like that. He took away what I found to be sympathetic about him. After a while, when we were in the same room, he refused to be the cool guy that I knew. He refused to let go of his mask.

But often, Euronimus' death overshadows Magna Andreasens, whose only crime was being gay in the wrong place at the wrong time, or the unnamed firefighter who died trying to put out a fire that these skid mark set for some imaginary kudos. Metal fans to this day go on pilgrimages to Fantoff Chapel and other arson locations, dressed in all black, posing menacingly for photographs. I have to wonder if they know the full story of what happened in Norway in the early 90s. If they know the kinds of people they're idolizing. If they know the ideologies these people espouse.

if they even remember Magna at all while they scowl at their cameras. Colts of any kind, campers, however you spell it, are not to be meddled with. So that was a wild one, right, campers? You know, we'll have another one for you next week. But for now, lock your doors, light your lights, and stay safe until we get together again around the true crime campfire. And as always, we want to send a grateful shout out to a few of our lovely patrons. Thank you so much to Meg, May, Emily, Jess, Cat, Lara, and A.

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