We Might Be Drunk - Anthony Jeselnik w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

Mark and Sam are joined by Anthony Jeselnik for a deep dive into comedy writing, bombing stories, sobriety, touring burnout, Norm Macdonald memories, roast culture, and the evolution of stand-up specials. Anthony breaks down his writing process, why he refuses to change his act, and what it was really like working with legends like Chris Rock, Joan Rivers, and Jimmy Carr. https://anthonyjeselnik.com/the-jeselnik-book-club Sponsored by: Take Cheers Restore after your last drink or before going to bed and wake up feeling at least 50% better — or your money back. For a limited time our listeners are getting 20% off their entire order at https://CheersHealth.com/WMBD. #Cheers #ad https://mengotomars.com To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/DRUNK. https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Check out Anthony Jeselnik:https://www.anthonyjeselnik.com/ Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD:https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com@GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #AnthonyJeselnik #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, well, we're staying beyond us. So you keep doing that thing where you're like, ah, the hotel's right there. Stay another hour. And another hour. And then here we are. Yeah, I used to drink. I get it.

Wait, you quit? Yeah. What? I never thought I'd see the day. We're losing everybody. I feel like no one drinks anymore. You guys are the last two people standing. Even Swartson's not drinking anymore.

Well, he had to quit. Yeah. And Bert quit. Bert quit. No one saw that coming. We were in a bar last night where Swartson met me, and he rolled him with a green juice. And I was like, I never thought I'd see the day.

I was happy to see it. Yeah. And he had wings. He wasn't eating wings. I was like, all right. Well, he'll be like, Nick will be like, I'm sober now. I've been sober for two years. I'm like, when's the last time he had a drink?

He's like a year ago. I'm like, well, that's not. Damn, Swordson. That's like when Jordan went to basketball or baseball. It's over. He came back, though, so I hope not. That's true. He'll be back.

He'll be back. He'll be back. Don't say that. It's Nick. That's fucking bad, though. You want to root for people to fall back on who have a problem Well maybe he'll come back and own it Like he'll just have a beer or dinner

I don't think that's how it works Okay Did you have a problem or did you just I grew it I say You know like everyone around me stopped drinking And I was like I used to be the one who was like Still kind of in control And all of a sudden I'm the only one slurring

And I was like this feels weird As I get older that I was like I'm just I'm happy to leave it behind And it's been like You go to like I'm at dinner with Swartzen last night and the bill was like $200. And I'm like, this would have been a $1,000 dinner when we were drinking. That's true.

I don't miss it. I don't miss it. It's unnecessary at times. But yeah, I'm four years as a couple weeks ago. Damn. Do you ever get bored? I mean, that's the big thing from me. Like, you feel great, but I do get bored.

I was still smoking pot for a while. I gave up pot in October. And like, I'll get back to my hotel room after a show and be like, now what? Exactly. You know, like, now what do I do? But I've, I read a lot of books. Yeah. That's like my... I picked up a book from your rec.

Oh, you did? The Stoner one. So did Matt Peters. Cool. Yeah. Stoner is a, the Great American novel, I say. Yeah. I've heard it.

I've saw other people wreck it. And then I saw you and I was like, it takes like three people now for me. Sure. With a show or a book, it's like I need like three different. That's the hard thing about being a book guy is that you can't get into a conversation without walking away with three recommendations. Yeah. I can't read all of these.

so you're always just piling up books. Man, to go from booze to books is pretty good. That's like what our parents wanted. And here we are. Yeah. Booze to books. I don't regret my drinking days. I just truly outgrew it.

And it wasn't a health thing. It was just like, you know, as you get older, it becomes a worse look. Right. You know, when you're like, just like the sweaty, smiley guy at the bar, as you get older, it's like, what are you doing? Yeah. You have to hang out with other sweaty, smiley guys. And then you're like, look at this fucking louis.

Exactly. And then you're like, oh yeah, that's me. Well, I would come here and I would have like two beers before my set and I was the only one having two beers before my set. And I was like, okay, I don't miss not being that guy. Yeah, and the hangovers. I mean, just this is horrible. You wake up fresh as a daisy.

Not really. I don't sleep great. I thought like my sleep would be amazing, but it's just, it's normal. Are you coffee guy? Yes. That's the sleep? Yeah. Yeah.

Because I had to quit coffee for like a month and I was like, I'm falling asleep naturally. I'm not taking pills. I just do it for first thing in the morning. And I take pills because I grind my teeth so crazy. That I take a muscle relaxer at night. That helps me sleep. If I don't have that, like, it's a problem. Every night, a muscle relaxer?

Yeah. Whoa. That's why you seem so relaxed right now. You seem chill. Well, I've been waiting for you guys for like, 45 minutes. We were waiting outside for you. We were like, I want to know what car he pulls up. And we were like taking bets.

I was like he seems like a Porsche guy. No? I knew it. For some reason, I was like, he doesn't have kids. two-seater makes sense to me. I got a four-door. I got the green Audi out there. I called it.

Oh, okay. I said Audi. Yeah. Audi's comfortable. It's a nice car. I love close by, so it was easy to get here early. I'm not right next door like you guys.

How did you slip by? Did you go through the front door? No, I walked in. They were loading in booze, so I just kind of walked in. Oh, man. We missed you. Yeah.

Too bad. Nice outy. Now we're here. What's your routine when you write? Is it every day? It was like in the beginning when I am like starting the new hour. I just like every day as much as I can My big thing was like right before I went to bed I went from writing in a laptop to a notebook My brother had gotten me a notebook for Christmas and I used to hate writing in notebooks

But he got me one he got me a sketch pad by mistake and by not having lines all of a sudden I could just sit there like my handwriting so bad Yeah, the lines like made me feel like I was back in school, but just being able to write in like a blank page, I would write like five or six jokes in night right before I went to bed and then wake up in the morning and like remember the jokes. It felt like an elf came in the middle of the night and wrote jokes for me. Right. And I just like trying those out. And now I'm at like 50, 55 minutes of my set. And that last five minutes or 10 minutes is really tough. Yeah. Because I've covered so many things in the hour that now I'm just like trying to find, I'm trying to find it on the stage. You know, I've got a couple bits that I've come up with, uh, that I just try to

every weekend try to have something new to fill up that hour. But for, like, I mean, you know this, that like an hour of a guy who just talks. Yeah. You can do like an hour 20 easy. But when you're doing one liner type stuff, I'm like, hey, it's 55 minutes, but like you guys should be cool with that. Because it's like, it's back to back. Exactly. I'm not fucking around at all. No filler, no fluff. We have the same tour manager and I'll ask him with honest. I'm like, how much time does Jesulnik do because I'm doing jokes too so I'm like I want to know what's appropriate yeah you know but then you hear about some people doing an hour 30 which I'm like the fuck are you doing that's too long the other like the other like the other show's waiting I asked Brian one time I was like

Brian like I'm at 55 minutes is like what do are people like feeling ripped off and he goes you don't understand what I've seen people do to get to an hour you know I mean where they're like bringing people on stage and like shit that like your 55 is worth more than most people's hours that I hope to get to 60 by the time I go to theaters in the fall, but if it's 58, like, it's a rock solid 58. Yeah, there's going to be way more punchlines than that 58 than the other guy's one hour 30. Yeah.

It's more machine guns. The density matters, I think. Yeah, for sure. I think so. Because you think about, there's some movies that you're just like, okay, this didn't need to be three hours. Of course. But someone's always going to complain, and it's like how much does complaints bother you?

I'll see the, hey, he only did 55. And I'm like, only one person. Like, I still got, you know, applause. People were still happy when they left. Yeah. That I think it's okay. Yeah, well, I just put that out a special, I don't know, three weeks ago and you're back to square one. And it's kind of like drinking where I'm too old.

I don't know if I can keep doing this rapid fire this many jokes in a row again. So I have two stories now, which I've never done. Really? Yeah, it's hard. I always think that, like, people are like, what are you going to do now? You do something different. Right. And this time it like made me mad.

They were like, what do you like? I was like, I'm just going to make the jokes even shorter. And I always want to have a story. I've had stories before that I like burned on late night. Because I used to bomb on the couch on late night so hard because you can't just tell your jokes. Right. I'm like my persona and my me that I just wrote bits that I was doing on stage that were like doing great. Well, I'm like, it could be a 20 minute bit, but I'm going to burn it on Kimmel.

And I was like, what was I doing? What was I thinking? Yeah. But if I have stories now, they must have to be about jokes. Otherwise, it seems like the audience is like waiting for the twist. And then like, what is, what's going on that I just like, I like, I like writing jokes, you know, I'd rather do that. But it's hard to keep burning hours without, A, changing up the rhythm for a second because your rhythm, it's like danger field words. Like he would have to throw in a little crowd work to break up the rhythm.

Sure. And I've seen you do like a quick thing just to like throw them off a little, right? I used to do, I mean, now I have like sillier jokes to throw them off. I used to do crowd work a little bit. And then I stopped because everyone was doing crowdwork. Right, right. And I was like, this feels hacked to me. I don't judge people for doing it, but it made me want to stop doing it.

Sure. That now I'm just like, let me see if I can just go do the opposite of what people were criticizing me for and just make it like just double down basically. Right, right. Yeah, it's hard. I think when you're, when you, I always talk to Mark about this because Mark said all these great stories. tells and he never puts them in specials. And I just think, like, we keep burning material. Like, at a certain point, that's what I'm saying.

I also like having a story at the end just to kind of, like, change up the rhythm of what they're expecting because I can't do too many, like, set up punch in a row without them being like, all right, we get it. Right. I mean, that's why I stopped podcasting was I felt like I was like burning creativity. Even if the story I wouldn't use, people are like, I see so many comics now where they're like, I saw the show. I liked them better on the podcast.

And I was like, I'd rather be better on stage. But I've tried to tell a story at the end. You know, wrap it up. Like, I had, like, thoughts and prayers where I had, like, a big thing about social media at the end. And, like, the audience is like, tell some more fucking jokes. Like, we'd rather hear jokes from you. And I'm like, okay, let me just stick to that and make it great. And if you put yourself in a box, if you back yourself into a corner, you'll find a way.

Yeah, that's true. But that is annoying when I read a bunch of my comments and they're like, say, stuff, same formula, come on, when's you gonna evolve? And I'm like, can't this just be my thing? Can't my thing be the jokes? You know, I thought about you because I saw some of those comments. I wrote a few of them. I was a little sick of it. But I think like when you're one-liner guy,

we're a joke guy like we are, it's about the live performance. When you're doing the show and you're doing joke after joke, the audience is going fucking crazy. And then when you're watching it on a screen, it's different. That like, we're built for the live show.

show. Yes. The special is just like, hey, I'm done with this stuff. You can see it. Exactly. But it's not the same as someone who's on their phone, on their couch, doing fucking dishes, listening to a story, you know, that it's like, what is your job? And I decided my job is the live show.

To kill it. I enjoy that more. Like, I'll take questions during check drop. And people are like, is this going to be a special? And I'm like, I'm performing for you live right now. Like, this is the special thing. I think your stuff translates very well, though. I disagree.

I think jokes actually translate better than stories to specials because the jokes can be clipped. They can, you know, stories you have to be fully engaged and people don't have the attention span these days. It works well for clips, but people can like tune out, especially for the same kind of rhythm. Like, and I'm just like, that's okay to not enjoy the special as much as the live show. Like with a live audience, the energy is crazy when you just go joke, joke, joke, that I'm okay with people being like the special gets boring. Like, then get bored. You know, everything is fucking boring if you sit there and watch, you know, whatever on, on TV all day. Yeah.

So it doesn't, that criticism doesn't affect me anymore. Okay, thank you. I was spiraling over that shit. You're welcome. I was really losing it. I was like, should I change? I get a new thing. I mean, I didn't say you shouldn't change.

I don't feel bad about the comments. All right, all right, thanks. Do you have any jokes where you're like, this is my favorite joke and it never hits? Yes. I have one that I like found a way to cram it in. Like I had to hide this joke that I wrote down like in my book late at night and I just started crying laughing. I was like, this is so funny to me.

And a lot of times that's a red flag. Yeah. Like when I'm like, think this is too funny and then I went to Largo and tried it out. And the audience was just like, no. But Zach Gallifanakis was on the side of the stage like crying with laughter. And it ran up to me afterwards and was like, that's so amazing. Don't listen to the audience. And I would keep trying it.

and we'd keep bombing. And I would see Zach and he'd be like, how's that joke going? And I'm like, you would not believe how badly it's going. And now I just do a thing where I'm like, I don't care anymore. Like, I've been doing this for almost 25 years. Like, this is what I like. I'm just going to tell it to you. You don't have to like it.

But I love this joke. And then that kind of sells it a little bit. But I have to literally set it up as like, this is a joke that horrifies people. Yeah. But it is the funniest thing I've ever thought of in my life. Once you say that, they're kind of like, All right, all right. It really changes the whole dynamic of the joke.

You're trying to make them feel cool by. Yeah. By liking it. Like, Jimmy Carr told me, like, I had a bunch of jokes. It was like an early special. I think it may have been Caligula, like, my Comedy Central special. And I was like, I've got these jokes that are like almost too, they get, it gets darker. Where like the darker stuff, I don't know where to put it in.

It's like, it should go at the end. And he was like, do what I do. And he's like, he just gave it to me. He was like, do what I do and just say, let's see how dark I can get. I'm going to tell jokes to get progressively darker. And we'll see. And then they love every one of them. And it's an easy thing to do. And I was like, oh, I can have that. And he's like, take it. It's yours. It's just the packaging of it. It's how you present it. That's smart. Because if you come out with a dark one, there's like, Jesus. But if you, you know, introduce it like that, changes everything. Yeah, I was opening my new hour on a joke. And for my crowd, it was crushing. And I got up stage one night and Neil Brennan was like, don't open the hour on that. You're just going to, you're going to lose people. Put it like seven minutes in. I was like, actually, I like that a lot. And I end up doing that but see you would have liked to open on it I have a Charlie Kirk opener right now yeah I and I have I was like you're gonna people gonna shut it off

immediately and I was like I have never taken advice from Neil Brennan he's giving me he's given me a lot and then he'll afterwards he'll be like you were right and I'm like I know like I think he was right about this one I'm glad I listened to it and actually it's segue better in the middle that it is an opener it felt like I was trying to be too offensive out of the gate you know sure I'm sure We have different Charlie Kirk jokes. Yeah, yeah. Wow.

Opening with it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just in, I mean, it's not even about him. It references him, but it is a Charlie Kirk joke, but it's not like, you know, I'm not trying to draw a line in the sand. Sure. Enjoyed doing that. Yeah.

My audience, like, knows me well enough now. Yeah, we leak. People know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Carlin used to come out with the worst thing where we'd run on stage and be like, hold on, hold on. Do you guys know that, have you noticed that the way?

Women Against Abortion are people you wouldn't fuck in the first place? And you're like, wow, it's a fun opener. That's a good joke. Great joke. I was in New York, and I remember hearing about a set. They were like Doug Stanhope's in town. And then it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen, where for 45 minutes, he's bombing. He's bombing so hard that Todd Barry and, and, oh my God, skanks for the memories.

Attell. Atel. Or in the back. And he's asking them, would you guys mind coming on stage at the end and doing some time? So the audience feels like they have a show. And they're just like, they don't know what to say. But it's like 45 minutes of bombing. And then all of a sudden, Stanhope just like turns on a dime and just starts ranting about his career and complaining.

And then murders. They were like murders for 45 minutes. And it was the best show they've ever seen. Yeah. And yeah, I don't know why people are too fucking stupid. They got to have a picture of him up there. But okay. Oh, that guy.

No, he took that picture. That's what he's showing. He's bragging. Okay, that makes a little more sense. He showed up loaded to our pod at like noon. It was a fun one. And I was like, that's incredible to bomb for 45 and then have the whole audience, even comics, being like, oh, my God, and then turning it around.

And I went to go see him the next night. And it was just 45 minutes of him doing a set. Like, I think you really just had a bad time that night and was able to pull it out. But I think stand up, I think is the greatest. The greatest. Yeah. He's your favorite comedy. I think he's the best.

Like he's like my favorite comics are guys like Dangerfield Steven Wright you know had the guys who were true one-liner joke guys But the people that I admire the most are guys like Stanhope who like donated his body and his mind To comedy yeah, he dresses like that for comedy guys like Chris Rock that I got to was lucky enough to tour with and I was like I'm gonna study everything he does for this like these like three months were going through Europe and after two nights. I was like there's nothing I can learn. He's a genius. Like I would watch how we prepped, but there was nothing I could glean from it. Right. He tried to give me a joke once. Really? It was like this, this reference isn't working. Try this. And I was like, I don't use other people's stuff. You never take a tag? Never. Never. People like try and I'm like, please don't. Like I enjoy writing too much. I'd rather find it on my own. And he was like, Louis got a joke of mine in his act. Like Seinfeld's got a joke of mine. Like don't be a dick. And the crew was like, Anthony, what are you doing? Like take his fucking joke. And after a week of convincing me, I'm finally like, all right, I'll try it.

And it bombed. And the crew starts laughing. And I've never seen someone so happy to have a joke bomb. Like, I was thrilled because if it worked, I would have had to keep it. But I was like, no, your reference didn't work. So I was very happy. So it's funny because it tells us Stan hopes the best, too. That's his favorite.

I think he absolutely is. Just like the stories he tells, the jokes he has. I think he like, because every comic's like, I don't give a fuck. They all like to say that. Yeah. But very few, like, really follow through. Very few go to Ukraine and fire weapons into Russia. Yes.

He actually gives no fun. I mean, they don't move to Bisbee and just, like, does what he wants to do. And everything he does is for comedy. Yes. That Bobby Barnett, dude. The one on someone to take the edge off, that closer, that story. It's all. Yeah, he can do social commentary.

He can tell a funny personal story. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's one of the, you know, he's one of the end of, the best of all time, I think, for sure. I mean, truly the greatest, I think. Yeah. Have you seen him going to the town hall meetings in Bisby, those clips? I've seen a few.

I mean, he's just doing like, what do you call those? It's like a community service or press conference where you can just go up and talk about shit, like complain about a pothole, but he uses it for stage time and he open mics it. You can pull that up. It's just hilarious. Have you guys ever been to Bisby? No. Have you been there?

Yeah, I went once. And he had like a party and I went with a friend and the party was really fun. But the, and like the town is like, it's a beautiful place. It really has the best like weather in the world. Like it's just like you're comfortable all the time. But then I went to one restaurant and I was like I would never fucking come back here. Like it was like one of those where you really have to be self-contained. But I, uh, I liked it.

I would love to go. I'm a huge fan and all that. But I feel like it would get sad after like three hours being there at his house. It was, I mean, there was a bunch. different comics there we did shows they had like bands play like it was a fun it was a fun weekend but I have not been back he said once he's like he gets more joy from making the greeter at a Walmart laugh when he walks by then he does from killing in front of an audience like just that like with that little joke he tells when he walks by someone brings him more joy and now the older I get the more I feel that the more like making some old person laugh with with some like offhanded comment was no idea who you are yeah is more fun than in an audience who's primed and paid money who wants to come see the act. That's true. Do you have the thing?

Because in New York, a lot of guys will do the, we'll kill on the road, you got your people, and then you kind of go back to the clubs, and you struggle a little bit because it's not your people. Do you have that in L.A. where you can work out in front of Randos? I only do. I only have the one act. You know, I've never had, like, oh, this is like, they're out of towners.

Let me change it up. Like, you see the movie. And so I'll struggle sometimes at, like, the improv. And it's like Chelsea Handler's crowd. Like Chelsea Handler's at the end. I'm like, why am I doing so badly? Yeah. Everyone looks like Chelsea Handler.

And I'm like, okay. Like, I get what's going on here. But I'm happy to struggle there because then when I go out and do it on the road from my audience, like I kill even harder. That it's like, it's like going to the gym, you know, versus like playing the game. Right. It's like I did my Netflix as a joke show Tuesday in like a theater of 2,000 people. And after doing clubs for like a few months, it was great just to feel. how different it was.

Then I'm like, I'm glad I was doing these, these like smaller shows to get to that. But I only have the one act. Same. If I'm going to bomb, like, let's bomb. But I don't have any saves. I don't have any kind of like, let me tone it down a little bit. Yeah. For this audience.

But do you get mad? You go, hey, this is good stuff. You're psychos at the improv? Like, if it's good. I learned to be a professional. I learned from, like, being at the improv on a bad night. And I see Sarah Silverman go up, who I think the world up. And she's just acting like it's going great.

And I'm like, oh, that's what a professional does is like people are still there to see Sarah Silverman. And they might be a bad crowd. But I'm like, if they're seeing Anthony Justin, like, I want to give them that experience and not be like, you guys are terrible. Or like this is a bad crowd that I just like act like I'm still the best. You know, like you aren't giving me the reaction that I would want. Maybe it's a half-filled room. But I'm going to give you the act to the best of my ability. Yeah, I like that because you see a lot of these guys like third guy in a row like, you guys suck, fuck you and the crowd's like, we do?

We didn't know that. I don't do that, but I am, I can't just tell jokes and bum. I have to be like, I'm aware this is not going. I need to do something. Sure, you got to acknowledge. I won't blame them, but I'll be like, okay. Like I need to address it somehow or I just feel crazy. I feel like I'm out of date with someone who fucking clearly hates me.

And I'm just like, this is good. I'll say things, but it's like in a positive way. Like, you guys are an amazing crowd to try new jokes in front of, right? This is my target demographic. Sure, like sarcasm. Yeah, that they understand, but I don't let them see me sweat or think anything is wrong. Because, again, there are people there who might never see me again. And I want to just do, I want to just be professional.

I learned that from Sarah Silverman. I remember seeing Tom Popper perform the day Greg Gerardo died. And we all went to the cellar to, like, mourn, and everyone's, like, crying. And I'm like, I can't imagine going on stage right now. And I walk through the room and Tom Pop is up there killing like nothing happening. He's doing Greg's jokes. He's stolen. I was like, that is professionalism and that kind of like, I'll never forget that.

Yeah. So I just tried to make it as professional as I can. I saw Tom, I went to the Geraldo Benefit at the Beacon and Tom hosted it was like such a fucking masterclass. He's a pro. On emcee and just people were coming in. It was a hell gig to open and he killed. It was awesome. He doesn't get his due as one of the great.

comics. I used to open for him. He does. He does, I think. I think no one throws him in the ring. We love you, Tom. He's opening with a Charlie Kirk joke now. It's unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that was a stack lineup. That benefit. It was cool. Seinfeld came in and, like, Attel and Lewis Black. It was all these people just, like, bringing their A game. It was cool. Yeah. I didn't get to know him that well at the cellar because he, like, I knew him from

the roast a little bit, and he was always great to me. But I didn't realize that the cellar, like, he would, like, miss spots for, like, a week. And I was like, what's going on with Gerardo and everyone knew but me. Like I didn't know like what was happening. And then after he passed, I would hear stories of how miserable he was kind of toward the end and like doing the roasts. He like hated doing the roasts. Really? Hated them. Like liked it in the beginning and then just felt like he was stuck doing them. And one of the reasons I like did three and then got out. It was like I was just thought about Geraldo. Whoa. And like having to repeat it doing jokes. Like Jesse Joyce wrote a lot of his material toward the end because he was just like, I don't care.

Right. Some of those are amazing jokes, though. You know the Artie Lang story, right? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's like flying him there. Had to help him. Yeah, and then trashing him as soon as he got on stage. His opener was Artie, you fat fucking drug addict? Yeah, and then they just hit him like this.

Like, you gotta do what I gotta do. Yeah, gotta do it. Damn. I miss Artie a lot, too. I hope he's all right. I mean, one of the best dudes. He seems fine. Totally.

Totally fun. The fact that he outlived Norm is crazy. And Saga. He'll outlive. everyone that's true so old Stanhope probably it's like Stanhope is our Keith Richards oh that look like me this morning in the mirror Jesus I remember Artie Lang's joke about how MBA is all about education he's like oh yeah don't go from high school the NBA yeah right if you're really about education then get rid of the dunk contest and have a spelling bee

he goes would you rather see them dunk again or watch Stefan Marbury spell Wednesday remember being like holy shit that's a good bit that's great love Artie Yeah So quick too on pods and everything was so fucking quick D'Roldo was fun too Because it was fun to see a guy that smart That prolific and also a mess I feel like we've kind of lost that in the arts

You used to have like a Bukowski type and all that But now it's everyone's He was like a rock and roll But also had the Harvard law thing So you're like oh you got a little bit of everything It was kind of cool That's true I was wanted to like hang with him

And like get to know him at this At the cellar And it would just be him Like on the phone with like Sprint corporate like yelling at the them about his plan, like, that I was like, I don't want to talk, I can't, what am I going to say now that I've just heard him screaming at someone. Like, he was just never in that place, but during the roasts, he would, like, the last roast he did, I was a writer on it. And I had to do audience

warm up where they were like, they were talking about putting me on that roast in the middle. So, I'm like waiting to hear the news. Like, am I on this roast? And they call me in and they're like, we'd love for you to do warm up. And I was like, so dejected. And they was like, which rose was this? It was the Hasselhoff roast. I thought you were on that, no. I was on the Trump one, the next one. And Jeff Ross had been like, he's been giving away his best jokes for two weeks. Like, don't stick him in here.

And Hasselhoff didn't want me. Hasselhoff wanted like a bigger star. And rightly so. But they call me and they're like, you're doing a warm-up. And I like, I can't say no because I think if I say no, maybe they don't put me on the next roast. But I was like, this is the worst gig you can get. You're also so not a warm-up. Exactly.

A great choice. Exactly. And look, respect. You need warm-up guys. It's a thankless gig, but it's not your act. I would go in first myself, even not first on a show. Oh, yeah. And they would tell me, they were like, you get a laugh,

and then you wait until you sell the next joke so we can use your laughs for the roast. And I'm like, you're not making me like this more. Yeah. But Geraldo, like, I saw him before at the red carpet, and I'm like, yeah, I'm doing warm up. And he's like, you're doing a fucking warm up. And then he, like, pumped me up.

And I remember walking out on that stage, and Gerardo, because the dais is out there. And Gerardo stands up and gives me a. standing ovation is like, yeah. And I was like, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Like, that was like the mental world to me. Wow. But he like got me through that.

I've got like Pam Anderson heckling me behind me, but Gerardo's like standing up at every joke and clapping. And I didn't understand what my job was at doing warm up. And so I'm roasting people in the audience. And I remember Jeff Ross even after it was like, I can't believe how you called, you did like eight fat jokes about Nicole Eggert. And I was like, I thought like she would be cool with it. And they're like, no one's cool with it.

They're in the audience. They didn't know they were getting roasted. Like, it was a terrible, terrible gig. But Geraldo, like, truly got me through it. And then we talked, you know, after the roast, hugged him. And that was the last time I saw him. Damn. I remember we watched Geraldo at comics back in the day.

Yes. And we were just super young. And it was like 2009 or 10. Something like that. It was his last headlining gig there for sure. But I just remember there's just audio of us. It's like high-fiving in between. We're so happy.

Oh, my God, that joke's fucking, it was a great hour. Oh, my God, it was the last hour, I guess. But he was a dude that did social commentary. He did, like, the self-deprecating stuff. Like, he kind of, he hit every part you'd want as a comic. I mean, his bit about the worst president of all time is still. What's that one again? About, it's about, no, the worst, they were saying Bush is the worst president of all time.

And he's like, oh, yes, Selena. Yeah. Yes. The president of the Selena fan club. Yeah. And then he added that tag, too, about Cheney at the end, remember? No. Yeah, she got shot in the face.

That's more vice presidential behavior. Oh, that's fun. So he just, it's like, oh, he always had that one last, like the fucking joke about, remember the joke he had about, he heard a guy in the track of, yo, Monica, you got AIDS. And he's like, which is already hilarious, but he's like, that's how they tell you? Oh, so good. He's like, that Michael Moore's right. We have the worst fucking health care.

Always added the extra. You're like, all right, the joke's done. No, it's not. He's always got the one last punch. Yeah, he was one of my favorites, for sure. His bit about soulmates, a gay lion tamer, got with a gay lion tamer. Oh, man. Brilliant.

He was great. Whatever happened to him. No, one of the best, man. And then it's interesting because he did a lot of, like, we're talking about Rock. Rock does a lot of that stuff that were, he kind of pushes you away in the setup and then brings you back in the punch. I mean, Rock's process is like, it was. would kill me. It would truly kill me to try to do it the way he does. What do you mean? Like, just standing on stage, looking at the ground going, hmm, what else? For like minutes.

Crazy. And the audience is wrapped. They're like, the audience isn't complaining. They're not like, what's going on. But if I'm not like joke, joke, like I'm losing it where he can just stand up there and find something. And a lot of times nothing comes. But his process is just like, I'm going to hang out up here. Yeah. The audience is totally cool with me being up here. I'm Chris Rock. But I would just, I would melt. I would, I would be just a ball of sweat. And he is just so calm and composed doing it with nothing. Yeah.

Nothing. And not just nothing. Kind of controversial topics, too. Like he'll come out there and say, like I remember he had this whole bit about these movies now where women beat up all like a lady action stars beating up like 10 guys. And he's like, ma'am, I could beat your ass. All three of you, if you came out, I could kick all your asses. And the women, they weren't into it. But he's just locked in.

That wasn't a bit. He was threatening some women in the club that night. It was pretty weird. tell me jokes, he would tell me jokes that would make me like fall on the floor laughing. Like, like, this would be the centerpiece of my act if I had this joke. And he was like, I can't do it because I don't want to like hurt my family's feelings. And I was like, I would throw my family under the bus for that joke so hard. Yeah. But he just has like, incredible stuff that he's like, it's not worth telling. Like, he really thinks about his image and

in a way that like, beyond the joke that I would not have the, uh, I would not have the ability to do. Yeah, he told a story years ago about it. They asked him to do the porn awards. And he was like, nah. And then Jeff Ross did it. And then a year later, he got offered Madagascar. And he's like, they wouldn't give me that if I did the porn awards. I can't be on this Disney cartoon.

Yeah. Also, his career is going well enough. He doesn't have to do the porn awards regardless. Wow, that's true, too. Yeah. Remember when he did the MTV music awards and just roasted everywhere? Yes. Like, I remember he introduced in sync as, who likes lip syncing.

but he likes lip-syncing He didn't even say their name And then that was it And this was when like you could kind of He was a big enough star And MTV was a big enough thing That you could do that But he truly didn't give a fuck

I heard he called Nicole Egert Fat too No he That's a brutal gig too Oh brutal Oh my God you bombed it I did the warm up I didn't do like actually the TV stuff But like I remember Sebastian had a weird one

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They're there for themselves. Like it's, those are truly the worst gigs you can have. The Oscars for kids, basically. It's even worse than the Oscars. You have to just pretend like it's going. Like those award shows. Yeah.

Joe Koy doing the Golden Globes. Like nobody wants to hear your shit. The audience at home does. So you have to pretend that it's like going great. Just pretend. And if you try to play to fucking Jack Nicholson, who's like six martinis deep, like you're going to bomb that it's just a horrible, a horrible gig. And like award shows, I remember someone described it as a room that just fills up with losers.

Like as the awards go on, people are just like, my word's over. I lost. Yeah. And it just gets worse and worse. So it's a total hell gig. Hell gig. When seeing Jimmy Kimmel just crush it because he just has the timing, knows what the reaction to it expect, and knows he's playing to the TV at home.

Like, it's masterful. Yeah. Conan too. It's really host. Conan too. Conan's incredible. Conan's unbelievable. I feel like Rock kind of got screwed a little bit when he hosted the Oscars because

that was like right when the sensitivity was turning. Sure. And I remember Sean Penn came out like, Jude Law. Is a great American actor. You're all rich and getting laid by everyone. Take a fucking joke. He's joking. Yeah.

But, yeah, Rock has so many of those. He gave me confidence in a joke that never fucking worked. I saw him and he was like, I've been telling people this joke of yours. And I was like, it's never worked. But then I told it for like another two weeks because of him. And I was like, nah, it doesn't work. That's what I always loved when comics would make talk you into bombing. Yeah.

And he'd be like, that joke, like, don't listen to people. Like, that joke. And then like after like six months, you're like, why am I? killing the momentum in my set I'm gonna drop this I did the thing where I'm like finding different lead-ins and it's still you know it's one you stick in a word document

I may or like maybe someday but yeah but that you have those you know I gotta ask was it weird doing last comic standing because that's such a weird networky industry show it just didn't feel like that was cool they hired you but norm was on that season too that's true norm was I only did it because of norm

and I thought if they're hiring me they want me to be me. Yeah. And they did not. They never do. They were like, you have total script control. So I sat down with Frank Sebastiano and we wrote the scripts. Like we would just write our script.

Who wrote dirty work, right, Frank Sebastian? Yeah. One of the best joke writers of all time. And we sat and I had a joke for everyone's intro, got cut. Every single person I introduced with a joke cut all of them. They cut all of my, anything that I would have wanted to do. And I remember like Norman, I would get into fights. live on the air.

Yeah. Like, it did not work out between us for the first, like, four episodes, and then we figured it out. And we're, like, far apart. Like, Keenan and every Wayans wanted to fucking kill me. Roseanne was, like,

was being, like, as nice as she could just, like, to avoid my wrath. Because I was roasting everyone, treating it like it was my show. Yeah. Like, who cares about these comics? Like, this is about me. And then they told me,

I remember, like, Wanda Sykes and her producing partner were like, don't worry, we cut out anything that made you look like, an asshole. And I was like, I did the show to be an assail. So I remember hating it and sitting backstage, waiting for the comics to finish. And there's 100 comics. And they're all doing the same like the gluten-free cookie bit. Yeah. Like gluten must be the best part of the cookie. I want a cookie made out of gluten. And I'm just like, this is awful. Yeah. Norm is like,

I remember Norm saying to someone, what the fuck is going on? To a girl on stage who's who would whose dad introduced her. Like they had the dad introduce her. And she finishes and she's like, and she had had a good set. And Norm goes, what the fuck is going on? Because I was told I'd be here to see the funniest people in the,

100 funniest people in the country. I don't think you're one of the hundred funniest people in the room. And it's like a room full of like cast audience members that I was like, oh my God, this is going, I thought this was going to be like an amazing show because of the tension between me and Norm because of the fights. Like,

have to like go and calm down. We would get into fights. Yeah, but then we'd come and meet afterwards and be like this is gonna be good TV and then they cut all of it and by the end you and Norm were We were bodies. We were cool. Yeah, because I saw that in the special you talked about yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah we figured we just figured out how to work together But norm was I mean norm was out of pocket as a judge with the shit he would say and I felt like I had to defend Some of the comics. Yeah, and you really didn't know what he was gonna be into from like Sometimes he'd be like I didn't like that I went darker and then someone come up with the darkest shit and I'd be like, no, I must have loved that. And he'd be like,

why do you think I would love that? Oh, weird. And I was like, oh, okay. And then we're like, there's tension there. But I'm like, tension makes good TV. Sure. Especially reality TV and last comic standing, they wanted none of it. Where if someone bombed and the three judges and I are like crying, laughing and like how bad they did, we're like, this is going to be the best part of the episode. Cut. What is that? Because they didn't want to embarrass any comics at this point in the series. There's a reason that you can stream every season of Last Comic Standing except for mine.

It was just bad and banal that it was terrible. But that's the problem with TV is like I feel like if you had that as an internet show you'd leave all that in and it would be way more entertaining. Of course. That sucks. I wish, I mean if someone told me we have all the fights between you and Norm

on it on tape, I would be like this is going to just like shoot it into space so that aliens know what greatness is. Like it was hard to be dealing with an idol and have it just not be going well. But like neither one of us was going to back down. And I thought, like, this is amazing television. Yeah.

And they took all of it that I was like, I was pretty upset. Did you kind of want Norm? Because if I had tension with Norm, I would crumble because I want him to like me. Of course. I mean, I really wanted him to like me. He gave me no choice. And I felt like I remember saying to someone, I was like, just because I'm Ringo, doesn't mean I'm not one of the fucking be.

Because they were like the judges are getting paid more than you and I was the one gig where I took where I'm like I'm taking less money so I can do whatever I want not realizing That when you take less money you can't do anything you want They don't give a shit about you right when you're getting a lot of money then you can like you have power But I was just like they were just cutting anything they were like you do whatever you want We're cutting it yeah so it was and I realized that almost immediately You know it was it was tough you had a great line with a Joe List when he was on it I think he got like second He went pretty far, but Norm loved Joe.

And Norm was like, Joe, you are a great writer. And you went, wow, Joe, Norm just called you ugly. That was maybe the one joke that they left in of the whole of all. Like, I was always trying to riff and find a moment to make it more than just like these like terrible comics bombing. Like Joe was great on that show. Yeah. The final 10 I was happy with.

There were people like Miss Pat who didn't make it that. But I was like, Miss Pat is like going to win this thing. Yeah. And then they would just, it was just a weird, weird show where they had one segment where they would make, they had Wanda like, like reconstruct people's acts and be like, do it like this, do it like that. And then they would come out and not do that well. And the judges would be like, we didn't like this. And they'd like, Wanda told me to do that. And they would cut that. And Wanda's furious that it was just like a weird. I hate that. I mean, it's terrible. It was a bad show. I'm glad it's canceled. Same. Reality TV is just, I feel like you don't watch a lot, do you? No. Yeah, I mean, it's tough. I don't watch a lot of TV.

Yeah. But when I find something I like, have you guys ever seen the show, Mr. In Between? No, what's that? It is fucking, someone recommended it to me like a week ago. And it was on like 2018 to like 2020. It's an Australian TV show was on FX. And it's about an Australian hitman.

So he's like going around killing people. He's total badass. But he's got a daughter. Yes. And everyone's chill. I've seen clips of it. He's like, got to kill you, mate. And then, like, that's the way it cracks.

Like, yeah. So it's like, you can watch it and it just, like, kind of washes over you. Yes. But I watch, it's like, I think it's like. He's got a daughter or something in the show? Yeah. It's got, like, 22 episodes, half hour. And I watched it in like three days.

And it's like my favorite. I wrote the guy and was like that shit. Your show is fucking amazing. They ended it perfectly. Like, it's an awesome show. Yeah. I loved it. Funny.

Funny. Funny. Good monologues. Yeah. He'll have a good, he'll have a whole. rant about something. It's like big on social media now. You see a lot of clips.

The mystery in between is the jam. Wow. How the hell did you come across that? Someone just like someone, I was, like I have a book club now. And I end up by saying like TV's bad, movies are bad,

like read your books. Because I truly believe that TV and movies have gotten really bad in the past couple years. Corporations, studios forming together. Like there are fewer movies.

They're all trying to be Marvel now, which is fine, but like they're all the same. and TV is now, like the streaming, it's like you get 10 episodes every three years and someone was like, watch Mr. Inbetween. And I just looked it up and if you tell me shows about a hitman and it's good,

I'm excited about it. Yeah. Yeah. Back to just the last comic thing. Don't you get annoyed with these shows where they tell you, they hire you to be you? It's kind of like the morning TV when they bring you on morning TV

and you act like yourself and they get mad. Doesn't that drive you crazy? That's what we do. Yeah, but when it's the network, They never want. They're full of shit, you know? It's like what he's saying about movies right now where it's a big studio. They want, they don't want something unique.

They don't want a chance. They want what they're like, this will hit. Yeah, but that's why you like Norm is because he's Norm. I don't know. That's why we do comedy clubs. They want to not get fired. The executives on TV shows just want to not get in trouble and not get yelled at. They have to have you on for whatever reason.

The club has a deal with them. But I don't do morning shows. And, I mean, I went through this phase where I had to. And it usually went terribly. But I've done, I'm doing some show in Australia that's online that like went pretty well, but they were like, don't swear. Like, don't do any of your jokes. Don't tell us what the jokes are about. And I ended up just like roasting them.

Yeah. But it's like there, it's just, there's a fear there. You're not giving me a lot of options as a comedian here. Exactly. Right. Exactly. But yeah, I just, I try to avoid all of that stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you watch a lot of old movies? You seem like you would watch old ones. I just watched, someone recommended point blank to me. I literally was talking about that movie last night. I love the book series too, the Richard Stark series. I read so many of the Stark books. And it made me want to be reading the book instead of watching the movie.

And they've made like eight different versions of point blank. Like the milk dips and payback. Yeah. Point blank's the best one though, I think. It was great. It was great. But again, I just was like, I'd rather be reading the book right now. The book series is awesome.

It's the Parker series. So that's a good wreck, too, if you haven't seen that. So great. But, yeah, that's, like, kind of like a forgotten cool. I found a first edition copy of, I forget that it's, I don't know if it's called Playland. It's a Westlake Parker book, but it takes place in an amusement park where, like, mobs is chased him into an amusement park. And it's basically diehard, like, 30 years before diehard came out. Where he's in an amusement park, like, killing all these guys with the rides and shit.

It's awesome. It's awesome. Those books are funny, too. That's the thing, too. is like they're just blunt and funny and yeah awesome awesome series yeah i don't know what point blank is a movie yeah leave Marvin yeah oh okay it shot really cool too it has like a weird vibe of that it's i think it's like the late 60s or something i don't know when it was late 60s like the dean from animal house is one of the villains oh yeah it's just like dean warmer it's great all right i'll check that out

yeah dean martin huh oh animal house no dean warmer i think of ned betty never mind yeah And had bady deliverance. Yeah. Tough role. Tough role. Especially he recognized for it. Good for him. Yeah.

Someone had to do that role. That's a tough one to be recognized for. I was feel bad for him. You heard the story that like the director was like, what would, did you ever get bullied when you were a kid? And he was like, yeah, they would tell me to squeal like a pig. They called me fat. And then he had the actors say that to him without telling him anything where he's like having

like a fucking like breakdown on like they got the performance. But it was. That's a great actor. Yeah. To let that in. Yeah. He's a hitman in another movie. He's a hit man in, I think, Mikey and Nikki.

Ned Beatty? Yeah. Wow. Good flick, too. Not very intimidating guy. That's a 70s flick. That's a cool one. I got a movie wreck.

Please. Anatomy of a murder, Jimmy Stewart. Entire score by Duke Ellington. Really cool. It's like if you like the courtroom drama type, great dialogue. Is that a Hitchcock movie? No, it's Otto Preminger. Okay.

But it's awesome, dude. It's an awesome. I've never heard of that. Yeah, very cool. Yeah, that's an old. That's a fun one. That's a cool one. Peter Fock and Casavetti's.

Elaine May directed it. Whoa. Slow as fuck. First 25 minutes you've got to get through, but then it's awesome. Okay. But, uh... All right. So you've toured with Rock.

I mean, I think we were talking once when I was out here. You were saying that you don't go out to you have 45 minutes on the road. On my last tour, because it was like my 20-year anniversary, my agent was just like, just go. pick six clubs and go and I had 30 minutes. So I had to fill 15 pretty quickly. At first it was like, let me do like jokes, my favorite jokes, my old specials, hated that. Like it just felt like, it felt hard to do.

And I was like taking questions. And a lot of my last hour came from that, but people would be like, talk about norm. You know, so I've got a norm story. Talk about the roast. I had my like Tyson story, like jokes that would get cut. And now I'm taking questions and it's all bullshit. Like none of it's gonna make it into my act.

That I don't know what, Maybe I just used up all the things people were interested in. Yeah. But now I had like, I went out with 45 minutes to clubs and now building it for, I'm doing clubs until, I just went out a few months ago. I'm until September and then going into theaters. But I've got like 50, 55 and hopefully I'll have the hour by then. Well, you kind of have a level, like a standard that you can't go under it. You know, people expect a certain amount of quality from you, joke wise and all that.

So if you dip, that's a bad look. Yeah, and I think people like, I mean, if I pull up the paper and I'm trying out new jokes, people are thrilled. Whether they're bad or good, you know, they enjoy me making the checkmark or being like, oh, geez. Yeah. I'm laughing at how bad it is. I could never do what, and I don't judge comics for doing this when they're like, it's a workout weekend. Yeah, I can't do that either. Like, I'm going to a club just to work stuff out, come and check it out.

Like, I just feel like I've set my bar. Yes. The comics I respect the most now are the ones who just have a high bar. Right. It's like you see a lot of people, I won't name any names, but you can tell almost who got a two special deal from Netflix. Because they will, they'll say you get a two special deal. You're ready with this one. The first one's pretty good.

We need the new one in six months. Yes. And you can tell which one is that six month one that I'm just like, I could never do that. That I've always done like one special, when I'm ready, we'll do it. And I'm happy to take longer. But I want to be able to just tour it everyone. And I tape a special because I've run out of places to go with it. So it's not like I'm just like, all right, time to put out a special.

It's like I enjoy the live performance so much. And I want to go everywhere. Totally. I want to go to like some fucking casino in Mississippi where everyone's in oxygen tanks and see how it goes there. Because once it's done, once the special's out, it's over. And I have to almost mourn the material before I get into the new one. And I always say I might be retiring. Yes.

Because I have to feel that way in order to put everything into it. And then when I'm done, I'm like, well, let's, if I get one more joke, then I kind of have to tell that joke and then I need to build an hour around it. Yeah. But I never know what it's going to look like. It's very daunting that this, this truly might be it. We're like, now I have the book club.

I'm getting into that book world. I'm being asked to write four words for books that I really like or like interview authors. And so I think my next chapter might be more on the writing side of things. But, and travel has become like the bane of my existence. It's a nightmare. Like airports have gotten worse than worse. Like my new thing is I don't take connecting flights anymore. Ah.

I just fly as close as I can get and then get driven. Right. To wherever I have to go because I just hate the airport experience that I could see this being the last hour and I'm going to milk it. Like every other weekend, if I tape a special years from now, that's okay. There might not even be a special market in like three years. You know, if people decide when I'm doing this anymore. They feel less special.

But Amazon and Hulu got in the mix. So it became a competition again. but when they're like, we'll license it. Like, you're not licensing shit. Like, not from me. Like, you either buy it or I'm not doing that. I don't want to put anything on YouTube at just at this point that I might not do a special.

Like, Tosh hasn't done a special in 15 years. I miss Tosh. But we also came up before us. We needed YouTube. No one would buy our shit. So our first specials that pop us were YouTube. It was, you know. That was before it got saturated too.

Yeah. And YouTube is the future. Like, again, I don't judge. I understand why. But, like, for me, it's like, I just, I've gotten paid double for every special I've done. Whoa. You know, and if that continues, you'll get another one.

But if they're like, we'll give you the same. Wow. I'll keep it. I'll keep the hour. Like, Tosh has the hour and just tours when he wants to. I'd love to see that. And once you have enough specials out, like, you don't really need more. You know, if somebody's like, you have a Netflix special, it's like, I've got three.

So, like, what does a fourth do for you compared to just having an hour? Yeah. You make so much more with that. That I like the idea of just having an hour. and never retiring. Yeah. Just taking my time and doing what I want to do.

Like a Leno. Just have your hour. Yeah. And never post it anywhere. But don't you feel like to me it's about the boulder pushing it up? You know, it's just something to do. Work on the new hour.

Of course. Then when you put one out, you work on the next one. Of course. But the boulder is getting heavier. Yes. And I'm running out of things to talk about. You know, that eventually, like,

I'm very happy with and proud of my new hour, but I'm surprised. Because I was like, maybe I'm done after the last time. but I'm like, you find the way, and that is fun. But I'm like... But don't you say that every hour? Every time, but I'm getting older.

It's a young man's game. The traveling, the jokes are so short, it's hard. Well, you have this postpartum funk after you get rid of the material, and you're just, like, depressed, and you're like, what the fuck am I? Because you feel like you are the act. Like, I identify as like this. I feel, it's tough because towards the end, you're like, I'm killing, but I also feel like, who gives the shit?

I know these work, because I'm about to tape. So they better work. It's kind of, but like, I'll tape the special. And right when I'm like right about to be burned out. And then I kind of get a second wind and go to Europe and do other things where like, and I'm like, I want to kill myself if I have to do this again. Yeah, yeah. And then the last show, I'm on stage being like, I wish there were six more months at this tour. Like you all, it's like it's a mental thing where I thought about like going to a hypnotist to be like, make yourself think every show's the last show.

You know, and then you have that energy because if you're doing two shows in a night, the first show, you're thinking about that late show. And the late show's like almost easier. And they're both good shows. You wouldn't be able to tell the difference because I'm professional, but so much of it is mental. Yeah. I just think like when I'm in my 50s, which I will be when I'm writing the next hour, like, what is that? I know. That the idea of having something else to do would be nice.

So who knows what happens and what the industry looks like. Yeah, I heard Jim Jeffrey say, I think he's done eight YouTube specials and he's like, do I need a ninth? Does that make a difference? What are we doing here? If you turn me to the bar and he goes, I've done nine specials and each one is worse than the next. Oh, that's scary too. Oh, no, is in the last rather. Yeah.

Yeah. But, you know, I mean, yeah, you're right. You get burnt out. You want to add ideas, especially your style, which is like you're hiding the ball. You're tricking the audience, you know. But your style is like weirdly palatable. Like, I can show clips of you to my mom and she'll laugh because of the writing, you know. So in a weird way your style doesn't.

seem that like I hear you get called as a dark comedian but you don't seem like a dark comedian to me it just seems like it's you know it's it's a it's a turn it's a right turn I have dark subjects but it's not always a dark joke right it's like making light of something and that's one of the things that that makes appeals to me to doing another one after this is that like when your back is truly against the wall then what do you come up with and I'm getting better you know just because of like doing it for 25 years that like what does that look like which always makes me think like, what if I did it again? People are like, what if you just did stories, or it's more like your podcast where you're

just kind of talking? And that's fine, but I feel like my audience wants to see the hard work. Like, they're like, wow, this guy really, like, carved this sculpture out of, like, ivory. And we get to, like, appreciate it for 45 minutes to an hour. Yeah. That, who knows? But I have to treat each hour like it's my last, just for my own mental well-being. Yeah.

But I'm sure when I'm done, I'll want to get back on stage. and do it again. Yeah. That's going to kick in, I think, later. A couple years go by, where you're doing the book club and you're going to be itching. I've got to get back out there,

got to do another hour. But it's good to miss it. Yeah, of course. We talk about the whole time. The burnout is real. Like, I do feel burnt out from the road. This is the first time I've taken, like, real time off the road,

and I feel pretty good. I'm every other weekend now because the worst part for me was landing at LAX on a Sunday knowing I had to come back on Wednesday. Oh, the road out of L.A. is so much worse. That was what was like murder to me, that like now I come back on Sunday,

I have the next weekend off, and I come back the next Wednesday, and I'm like, okay, this is much easier than it used to be. But I'm happy to take the time before I felt like I would get rusty if I wasn't out every weekend. Same.

And I'm like, you know what? I'm almost better. Really? I'm almost like, I'm like, people are like, I've never seen you have so much fun on stage. Like you're laughing on stage. And I used to know, I'm stone-faced. And then it's like, because it's still fresh to me

that I can enjoy it more instead of just like being a machine. Yeah, it's kind of like seeing a girl every other weekend. You're like, ah, it's still fun. But if I see every weekend, it's brutal. Aren't you married? Yes. But that's why I do the road. Quite a bit. It is good to miss things. It is. You need to miss things to still love them. Colin Quinn was like you don't get you don't get, you don't like forget how to do stand-up. And people think you have to get up every night. Like, no, you don't.

You feel a little rust, though. Don't you have that little like, oh wait, I'm a little slower here? A little rusty and that like I have to kind of like my. memory, I'm using more of my memory to be like, where am I? But in a way that makes the show better, I think. You know, if I have to look at my set list for a second, okay, I'm glancing down when I take a sip of water, but it's still like, it's more fresh in my head. Like, a lot of actors will say, like, they like memorize the script and then forget about it for a week. So when they come in, they're fresh. Right. And I think there is something to that in standup that you can only get once you've been doing it for like over 20 years and you kind of just have a little more

confidence in it will come to you. Yeah, I have a theory that comics have the least dementia because we're constantly using our brain. We're trying to remember stuff. We're writing jokes. That you meet a million people. Then you have to get on a flight. You have to look at everything.

I think that keeps us sharp. Is that true? That's my theory. Well, you know, these old guys. It's certainly a theory. I forget, I've met so many people with it like, hey, how's it going? I'm like, hey, what's up? How's it going?

And then they walk away and someone's like, you hate him. Like, why are you so nice? I'm like, I have no idea who I was talking to. Like, I have no idea who that was. But it's someone you hated? Yeah. Or, like, we had a bad experience. Like, I'm like a club owner that I got into it with.

And then you, like, see him at Montreal and they're like, how's it going? You're like, great. How are you? Great. How are the kids? And they're like, yeah, you despise that person. Yeah. Well, I mean, like, I just think, you know, my dad will do these little puzzles because he's like,

I'm trying to keep my brain fresh. But I think we're doing puzzles every night on stage and set lists and all that. That's a theory. Maybe like, maybe Harlan Williams is dementia. But, you know, I think, I think we're just. staying fresh all the time. We don't need the puzzles. It's a theory. I can see what you're saying. You've got to memorize your act and then you have to be able to be quick in the moment. Where's like actors are trained to like memorize everything and then forget it forever.

Lawyers are trained to memorize everything and memorize it forever. Yes. Where they got like know the rules of the law that like everyone's brain works a little differently. Yeah. I can see the comic brain being better. And then we can go. Look at Don Rickles goes forever. Joan Rivers goes forever. I got bad news about both of them. We were deprived some good Joan years at the end. I feel like she should have had a few more years. I think she's underrated.

I got to meet her. I got to work with her. I got to have her on my show, which was great. Like, Joan Rivers was huge for me. Yeah. I still have, like, a framed, like, no card she sent me. Whoa.

Like, just thanks. She had a show called In Bed with Joan. And I sent me a card to be like, thank you. And when she did, died. She was, like, scared of me. It was when I had to Jessen look offensive, and she thought I was going to come on and roast her. But I was like, no, I think you're the most pure comedian there is. I never apologized.

And I think the episodes got taken down. They might be up back again. Oh, I remember this. But when she died, I was upset, and I went back and watched it. Wow. I had seen it the first time and then turned it off. But at the end, I just let it keep running. And at the end, it's her sitting at her kitchen table, kind of deconstructing the interview and being like, you know,

thought he was going to be mean, but he was actually so sweet, and I think he's just so funny. And, like, her talking about me felt like, like, that was the goodbye. Like, it was just, this, like, amazing moment to be able to watch after, after she had passed. But I thought the world of Joan Rivers. And it felt good to be able to help her, like, be with the kids again. Right. She was thrilled to be on Comedy Central. And I'm glad she got to be back on The Tonight Show, you know, before she passed.

That was so stupid, dude. So dumb. You can't do that. So dumb. What do you mean? Carson Bander. Oh, that, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to take work as a comedian.

But I get why Carson Banter. Yeah. Because she didn't ask permission to be on the show. I don't know why Leno didn't have her back. Lennon was like if Carson Bander, it's almost like when Pete Rose got banned. And then the guy died like a week later. And so the next guy couldn't reverse it. Yeah.

Because Roselle was so beloved that it's like, why can't reverse this? This guy just died. Right. Because if he had lived maybe like a year. or two. They let him back in. But I also think that's stupid. But I get it. But I was glad that Fallon, like the first thing he did was bring Joan Rivers back.

She was thrilled to do it. And talk about not giving a fuck. There's a montage of her on YouTube, just if you ever get bored of her doing the red carpet roast. And it is, she says shit where you're like, Jesus Christ, that was on NBC or whatever? One of my, and I love Joan to pieces. But one of my favorite things was when she died.

Twitter was like an outpouring of comedians being like, we love her. And then some Someone was like, Anthony, you've got to see this. And it was all of her writers from fashion police or whatever where she would like, they wanted to unionize and she fought them on every step of the way of like, we're too, we're too expensive for unionize. You're not getting, we're paying you what we're paying you. You're lucky to have this job.

And they were celebrating her death like it was Osama bin Laden. Really? And it was like to watch all this outpouring of like heartfelt tributes and then to see people being like, I'm glad she's dead was even to me it was funny. I'm sure she would have appreciated it. Yeah. If she had seen it. Damn.

It is interesting because you're a dick on stage. So if you're, I think the bar is lower for you offstage. So if you're like even kind of nice, you're like, oh, that guy's really nice. Yeah, yeah, I hear that all the time about you. He's actually a nice guy. Yeah, people, I think, and I think it's easier for me to be nice because people come up afraid already. Yeah. So it's easy to kind of like, okay, let me downplay this where it's the guys who seem nice on stage.

Cosby. Have to be dicks. Not that nice offstage. But I think of like Louis Anderson, like, if you saw Louis, you're like, Louis, you want to come up and like, touch his belly. I think he would have to be to keep your boundaries. I bet Brian Regan, like drives him crazy. I've heard Seinfeld will, like, just ignore people completely because they want to come up and like, I loved your show. And he's like, I know you did.

Yeah, yeah. You know, that like, because of that, he has to be. We all know how psycho Nate can be. Remember hanging out with Nate in the early years? You're like, you're terrifying. And now he's the squeakest clean guy. Great guy, but he'll bite your head off. I don't hang with Christians.

Nice guy is kind of a trap in the rest of your life. Well, Regan's a booze bag. I mean, yeah, you got to compensate. If people know you as nice, they just want to, like, the people who... You can't have a bad day. Yeah. Like Sarah Silverman used to say that her fans were crazy because they all thought they were the only one. because she would get so much shit

that everyone, people would be like obsessive that she had to protect herself. Why I think people just think I'm like a psychopath. So if I'm, you're just like, oh,

you're normal. It's, I'm not like that nice. I'm just not like going to kill you. Yeah, evil. I don't carry knives. Do you ever find that a crowd

just doesn't get you? Because you have a thing. And sometimes, uh, they're just like, what's up with this guy? He's just mean and dark. Yeah.

I mean, it happens a lot if I'm on like an improv or like a showcase show with a bunch of people. Yeah. But I remember my brother came to see me once and I was like, oh, I just bombed. And he was like, you didn't bomb. He was like half the audience was laughing and the other half had their jaw on the table. Like, oh my God.

Like, what's he doing? Where they're not like upset, they're just shocked. Yeah. Then I'm not like other people. Most people think of comedy as like airline food and they want, they want hack. You know, they come for hack. Exactly. And they expect it.

So when you're like the opposite, they're just kind of in shock. But you're not having a bad set. They're just experiencing it. in a different way. Maybe they're not laughing, but they're not like, they're enjoying themselves. Yeah, but you're still established now. People know who you are. But in the early days, that must have been hard. You must have wanted to pivot so badly. Just like, maybe I'll switch. It's not, they're not getting it. I knew if I pivoted, I would fail. Wow. I knew that there was no. And I have friends who have said, like, they changed their act on the road and they come back to

LA and their act doesn't work anymore. That's crazy. And I was like, I'm just going to, I'd rather bomb until people figure it out. And I thought there was a, a job. And I thought there was a joy in people watching me. And like, no one's laughing, but it makes them laugh more because the table, like, I get a lot of letters of like, I loved you more because the audience next to me hated you. Right. And so that made me like you more. And so I just like, let's lean into that. Yeah.

And I mean, I like the energy. But if, like, the audience is kind of like, fuck you, like, that's fun too. Like, it's still entertaining. And I believe in my jokes. Yeah. I just think it's commendable in those early years when you're like, you're, like, you're Grounging. But you stayed in the pocket.

I had that period of about eight months from when I quit Fallon and started headlining. Yeah. Where I had an album out. So I had some fans who knew what I was all about. But people who got flired into the room and I'm like eating shit. And then the Trump roast happened. And the next day it was sold out with everyone knowing it's dark jokes. Yeah.

And then things were different. But going, I mean, if I'm at a show with like Nikki Glazer and Chelsea Handler, they're there to see Nikki Glazer and Chelsea Handler. And I am a shock. And it's fun because it reminds me of when I started out. Right. And when I was just a big surprise. Yeah. That was interesting.

There's got to be moments of self-doubt, though, in those eight months where you're just like, what the fuck? Like those bombs to the hotel when you're in the room and you're like, fuck. Like, those are long nights until the next set. It was a long night. I mean, opening for people as a feature act was worse. Sure. It was worse. Who were you paired with sometimes?

I would be, I was pretty lucky and then I got to go with established people. But if I opened for Doug Benson, I bombed so hard that people would leave before Doug. This guy's not talking about movies. They would be so mad at what I was doing. But if I opened for Brian Possein, they loved me. Like they loved me. Or Sarah Silverman, they loved me. And I was lucky enough to get to go with Benson and Possein mostly.

But Benson, I would eat shit. But he liked you. He liked me just because I was like fun after the show. And like I would get wasted and have a good time. By the way, comics don't know enough about that. A lot of it, just be fucking pleasant. Be a good hang. I remember Doug saying you didn't, when you got wasted, and I would be like blackout.

He was like, you didn't try to wrestle me or hug me. I think it's the guys who like get like modeling or start crying or like one hug or like, this is the best time in my life. He's like, you just didn't touch me. And it's like, yeah, don't be the guy who wrestles when he gets drunk. Don't be the guy who sings the Humpty Dance, you know, in the back of the car. and you can get as fucked up as you want. Damn. Shouldn't have touched Doug.

I fucked up. Where is Doug? I haven't seen that guy in 10 years. He's around. Okay. He grew his hair out. He's doing his thing. Oh, all right.

Yeah. I used to do Doug loves movies once a month. Remember that show? It was huge. He still does it, but he, I don't know. He just doesn't ask the same people, I guess. He's doing it as part of the festival, I think. It's around.

All right. Great. What's your favorite part of Europe to hit when you're traveling? For crowds and just to chill. I mean, it always changes. I loved Amsterdam. I used to think I would like move there.

And then the last tour, I was there for like a week and I was like over it by the end. Yeah. The narrow streets are tough. The bikes, it's hard. It's a walking city and then it's hard to walk. You just walk through all of it and you're like, all right, I'm good. Yeah.

But I really like, I mean, I love Dublin. I think of it like more is what the audience is like. And the audiences were always fun. But I would wake up in some countries where I was like, where the fuck am I? Like, I don't know where I am. I'm in like Cyprus or some shit. Right. Where I didn't know.

I liked all of Europe. I really liked Berlin. I loved that audience. I loved Scotland was really fun. Edinburgh was like one of those beautiful places I've ever been. Doing that festival was great. You did that? Yeah.

Did you do the full month? No, I did like two nights. Oh, that's the way to do it. I used to want to do the full month because I remember Morgan Murphy went one year a long time ago. Yeah. And so she did the full month and ate shit every night for like four people and hated it. But when she came back, she was bulletproof. Whoa.

Like, nothing could throw her. And I was like, I want that. I want to feel like that. And my agent would never let me go because he was like, you're not going to make any money. And now when I was going through on tour, and I got to just do it for like two nights and it was great. But just walking around that city. It's fucking just Harry Potter. Yeah.

It's like Harry Potter in real life that I enjoyed that. I just watched that Hannibal. Did you ever see a Hannibal dock about Edinburgh? No. It's pretty great. And he hates it, like 23 days in. And then he just snaps and then he turns it around. He loves it.

But there was something about those gigs early on where you were like you dread those Tuesday through Saturday gigs. But then you come back doing like an hour or night, two hours a night. And you're like, holy shit, I added. So there was that value of just running shit into the ground, whether the crowd's good or not. You figure shit out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's comedy.

It's like you're miserable. You hate it. You get on stage. You have a great time on stage. And so you're like you're having the worst time of your life for like two months. Yeah. But you're getting better. And the shows, again, the shows are like everything.

Where if you had like a week off, like I went and did Asia. I did like Hong Kong, Taipei and Tokyo. Brutal. Because I had like a week off in between. I'm just sitting in a hotel room and like Taipei during monsoon season. Ah. Paying for three hotel rooms for like my opener and my tour. I think I message you about this asking you about this and you were like, this is a lot.

It's a lot. Because I just in Australia and then New Zealand and it was like I was ready to go home. So you're just sit in this hotel room. and it's raining too hard to even do anything outside. And then the show was like, they don't understand English humor. So they would come to kind of see a show and it was interesting, but then that's it.

And it's like 200 people after you've been doing like 1,000 seat theaters everywhere. And your word choice is so specific. It's not like a big cartoonish act that might translate. It was all expats or like people just not understanding, but you're in this weird venue. I was like never, never again.

I would go there and visit in a heartbeat, beautiful places. Yeah. But doing a show there was like, why? Yeah. And the week off is too much. It's way too much. Yeah.

It's way too much. And you don't think about it when the agent sends you the schedule. You're just like, yeah, I want to do all these. And then you get on the plane and you're like, wait, what? Yeah. I mean, for how long that I need to pay more attention to what I'm doing. Yeah, I had that with Australia. I've done Australia a couple times, but the last one I did three weeks instead of two.

And I was like, I wish I was home. At that third week, it was too much. I thought about going to Australia and like staying for a week before the shows begin, Because you get and you're like a day or two and then you start. Yeah. And that first show you feel like you're on NyQuil. You're won't. Like you're just like, I don't know where I am.

I started in Perth last time and I was like, why am I in Perth? It's on the other side of the fuck. Like you land in Australia, you have another like four hour flight. Yes. I was like, I just want to give me Melbourne and Sydney. And I got to do the Sydney Opera House. And it was like insane. Whoa.

It felt like, like I've done Sydney Opera House and Carnegie Hall and they were both like, oh my God. Yeah. You really feel every moment of like, this is a career high. You know, I don't know if it gets better than that. People talk about arenas, but I'm like, give me a perfectly built theater. Agreed. Where the acoustics are incredible, and that is the best you can get.

Wow, opera house. That's really when you made it. I remember being like which room in the opera house. Yeah. The opera house. Wow. I remember like just killing, having a great time killing. And then right at the end, my last joke, a woman just got up to use the restroom.

and the acoustics are so insane that I could hear every footstep and I'm still killing but it's just like wow like this place is really built for like the greatest symphony of all time but it's just you telling fucking dick jokes and it just felt incredible I can't wait to go to that Cardi Gullis it was built before speakers

so the sound is supposed to be I open for Jimmy Carr there and that was a hot show because his crowd just wants jokes but the problem was Louis was in the front row so I'm just looking at Louis while doing jokes and he wants to be supportive so you do a joke and he'd be like this is brutal you're killing me sit in the third row or do a sit first row's rough yeah oh when they sit your family up

like what are you doing i know telling a blowjob story i see my mom's face like oh i'm like yeah she's heard it a million times where you had on jimmy car i think he's uh top notch oh he's great i mean he's been almost like like a like a mentor to me where like i always feel like my I try to be prolific. And I think about how, like, my idols, I've like, like, Stephen Wright was my idol. He put out two specials, you know, put out like five or six, you know. But Jimmy Carr is so far ahead of me. Like, it's put up so much.

Yeah. That he's a guy that I will really sit and try to learn from that I absolutely love. Love him. I love Jimmy car. I thought was, the last time I heard from Jimmy, he had done that special where he was like, I'm going to get canceled. Like, this special will get me canceled. Yeah.

And then he got in trouble for the joke about the Roma, about the gypsy. The gypsy, yeah. And he was like, would you send it, put out a tweet or speak out about this? And I was like, motherfucker, the special is about getting cancer. What's your problem? And he wanted you to be like, this isn't offensive? What does he want you to write? He wanted me just, like, defend him as a comic.

And I was like, I'll talk about it on my podcast and like how this is, like, stupid. But he's like, I mean, he's, like, you know, escaped through the vent of many a cancellation. Yeah. You know, having jokes about, like, soldiers being amputees where the soldiers come out and say, he's visited the hospitals. Like, he can say whatever he wants. Right. Where he said that he had a joke about the Royals or something.

I think he, like, a tax evasion thing that he got, like, a scandal. Oh, I remember that. But then, like, uh... He did a greatest hit's tour, right? Yeah. The new king, like, sent him a letter being, would you write jokes for me? You know, and he's, like, has that frame that he's like, I mean, he's bulletproof now. Yeah.

But I love, I love Jimmy Car. Yeah, he's got gears, too, like. Everybody thinks he's a one-liner guy. I saw him at the cellar a while ago, and he was running a Fallon. And it was killer. But then he did his five minutes. He's like, all right, let's have some fun. And he just shifts gears, and he goes filthy.

And the crowd is like, the walls are shaking. Then he could do crowd work. He could riff. I mean, he's got it all. Yeah. He's great. He's always been supportive. If I go to London, he'll come to the show.

And you hear that fucking laugh. Yes. You know, like he's great. Weirdly open about his surgery and the transplants and all that, too. He's got a lot of wisdom. Like, I'll see him on these smart guy pods, these intellectual pods, and he says shit where you're like, that's great. That's really smart.

Yeah, I mean, he's concise in every way. Yeah. Jokes, thoughts. Yeah, he's good at that. I went to London once, and it was a terrible weekend London. My first time ever there, I'm doing the Soho Theater. And it was like during Edinburgh, so that none of the comics are in town. Yeah.

So it's the loneliest week of my life. I'm just like miserable. It's so hot. I'm just doing a 7 o'clock show. and there's no opener even. It's just me doing it for an hour. And Jimmy has me over to his house. He has me and Jim Jeffries over.

He's showing me around. He's showing me everything. And then he comes to the show that night. And I make a joke about like the cab driver drops me off at the house. And he's like, wow, what do you got to do to get a house like this? And I go, tax evasion. And then I tell that joke at the show and everyone laughs. Jimmy laughs.

And then Jimmy had these TVs. He had like his like, flat screen TVs outside. that he was like, I got these from children's burn units because they have to keep it so moist in there and they have a TV that was special coding so it can rain on it. And then he's got these TVs and like people are laughing

and Jimmy's laughing a little bit less. And I'm like, oh, I'm telling too much about your life right now. I need to stop this. But he's always been, he's always been fantastic. And a guy, I would ask advice of Jimmy Carr, as much as I adore Chris Rock, Jimmy Carr is more like me.

Sure. That he would be a guy I would go to for advice if I did that kind of thing. Jimmy's also- Tax evasion? Yeah. Exactly. Well, you never saw him start, really. Like, I felt like he was, I just saw him, he was amazing.

I never saw, like, the early years. Remember on Comedy Central? Oh, yeah. You really blew up your own shit? Yeah, what was it? He was fatter then. Distraction, right? Was that it?

I don't know. I think it was distraction. You had to, like, put your own stuff on, like, in a box. And if you got the question wrong, they would destroy. your thing instead of winning the other thing. Yeah. I don't remember this. It was on comedy.

You put Comedy Central. Oh, wow. Yeah, I remember it's late night sets. Killer. I feel like we were like, maybe we were the last era of comics that were like desperately trying to get on late night. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That was a thing. I mean, it's, some comics are pumped to do Fallon once or something, but it's not a thing really. But it was even before the internet made it a thing where it was like just to have the credit. Yes.

For them to say, seen him on Kimmel was like a huge uplift. Totally. We used to care about, I don't know if you guys, did you guys ever care about premium blend? Was that a thing for you? We were right after that. That was for us.

Like it was like you got premium blend, then you got a late night, then you got a half hour. Yep. And it was before even, like half hour seemed like the biggest thing. Yeah. You could headline off that back. You can't headline off that anymore. Because now they're going against TikTok people

and YouTube people, but you got a Conan set. They're like, all right, I guess he could maybe do an hour. And it was a life changer. But I remember there were like five, it was a five-year period where the only thing that sold tickets was if you said you'd been on Chelsea Handler. Now, I remember that. That was the only, and I had never been on Chelsea Handler. Yeah. But that was the only thing that sold tickets.

And Netflix changed everything. Like all of a sudden, Comedy Central was doing a lot of specials. And then Netflix just took over. Yeah, yeah. That handler was like Bobby Lee, Moshe, Natasha, Joe Koy. Yeah, they were killing it. But now with podcasting, I mean, podcasting at first, like it cut out morning radio. You could go sell tickets without having to do morning radio because of your podcast.

And now it's cut out comedy clubs where you people go, I feel like people go straight from, not everybody, people go straight from the podcast to a theater. Because they have that market where they can sell out a theater where a lot of these comedy clubs I'm going to, they're like, thank God you're here. Really? Because the big names just are skipping clubs altogether. Wow. Or it's the guys who have the same act every year. Yeah, yeah. And it's diminishing returns.

That's fine. I need the clubs. I'm back in the clubs now to work out. I'm going to have to start back up soon. I'm not enough time yet to do it again, but I hopefully soon, you know. I love the clubs. And then when I go to theaters, I'm like, thank God I'm out of the clubs. But I love that, like, give me brick walls and a low ceiling.

Same. It's so much, it's so much fun. Yes. And then you get to a theater. Like, I did the theater Tuesday. And I was like, I'm so glad I had that club experience to get. Otherwise, I wouldn't be appreciating. I wouldn't be feeling it the same way.

Yeah. But it's, uh, clubs are nice. To build up and also right before. you tape. There's something about like the repetition right before you tape where you're just like, oh, I'm, I feel fit. And when you're just building up, you're like, oh, I can, I can bomb here a little more than I can. And I can't do this in the theater. I can build up. Yeah, yeah. Theater is more of a presentation. Here's my act or a club. I feel like I'm tinkering. Like, I was talking to Bert Kreischer, and he was like, he's like, arenas are the perfect way to get ready for a special.

I was like, please tell me why this is. That's crazy. He's like, because everyone's watching you on the screen. Ah. So he's like, it's like, as if you're taping the special every night where you just know how it's going to play on a screen. Yeah. Versus when you're in a club when you just really don't know what it looks like. Yeah. You know, that was like, oh, I could see that making sense to you. Say it a little bit.

He knows marketing and like those little tricks. Like, you know, his special, two of his specials have the most retention, like, record. And he knows all these moves. Like, put the closer first or cut out this, cut out that. Like, he got, he gave me shit for he's like, don't talk about the city you're in on a special. don't have like an intro, just get right to it. I think he kind of started a lot of that. Sometimes the intro is, like, it depends who you are.

I thought the Rory Scovel did one of those intros that was really funny. That great. Yeah, I mean, it depends who you are. It depends who you are. I don't like this one-size-fits-all, like, this is what you do. He's dialed in with that shit. Yeah, a lot of people are. A lot of people who have hit a certain level of success are like, it's this or nothing.

It's like, every fucking comic's different, you know? Seinfeld's like that. He's absolutes. You can't gain four pounds or you're different You can't wear leather on stage or whatever You're like, alright Yeah, I don't believe in any of that Yeah

I've talked about the city I'm in Like I don't have it All my specials start with me on stage Like mid But I talk about the city you're in Like why wouldn't you? Yeah If you have a good joke

Exactly If you're just like New York City And then like yeah Like who cares But you have to have something to say about it Yeah agreed Well where are you gonna be coming up On tour Anthony

Fuck knows Let's see Let's click on On the link, Brea, Spokane. I love all the clubs around L.A. Yeah, me too. And I'm just doing, like, clubs I really like. Fort Wayne is awesome.

Talk about brick walls, low ceiling. Oklahoma City, I love, I just did move that. It's a good one. It'll be there. And I'm doing that Eugene, Oregon, Olson Run Comedy Club. Kevin Young. I hear great things about it. Really? Yeah, I never heard of it.

And they were like, and you set your own ticket price. What? That, like, you say what you want. And then, like, Ali Wong came and did, like, $80 tickets for like two weeks, just two shows a night and killed it. And I was like, okay. And they're like, what do you think, Anthony, $45 for your tickets? And I was like, I think so.

And then I look at the website and it's all, everyone's less than 45. People are like 25, 35, whatever. And then there's someone named Ashley Gavin. Oh, I know, Ashley. Who had $50 tickets and I was like, 55. Like, I don't know who this is, but I got to be more than her. But yeah, that's sold out. And then I'm ending, I'm doing that some fucking thing.

in Canada, part of that, a great outdoors fest. Oh, that's fun. Which is, it's always fun, but they're always like, it's going to be you, Sarah Silverman, Chris Rock,

and Bill Burr, and I'm like, awesome. And then they announce it and it's like, Jesselnik, Pete Davidson, like Jordan Jensen. And I'm like,

what happened to the other people that I agreed? Yeah. But, but no, that'll be fun. And then I'm going to announce the theater tour in June. Nice.

And do every other weekend theaters. And I want to do a thing where I like, I go to the city and I can enjoy the city. You know, like, I'll go to Minneapolis and see how many shows I can do in that theater and just hang out. Instead of, like, you get there, you go to the hotel, you shower, you go to the show next morning, like, you're flying. And I'm just, I want to try to just chill it out.

Yeah, yeah. And the airport's ruin it, man. I hopefully will do a tour bus for as long as I can physically. But I just like waking up and getting a day in the city. It kills your profit margin. Would you ever do the private? I've done, the only time I take a private is if, uh, is if it's like I've got to fly to a city that day

and I've got to take a connecting flight. You know what it's like, it's not that far. It's like just far enough not to drive. Right. But it's going to be like six hours and I'm like, give me, I'll pay the 10 grand for a private jet. But that's like my limit.

It's like one hour in the air on a private jet just to cut that out. But I hate that expense. My new thing is just go, let me go by myself and meet the opener there. I'm tired of having the team. I had the tour manager and the opener and the photographer.

and I was like, I feel like I'm like hosting a party. It's too much. That I just want to like get off the plane, walk to my car. Yeah. And then have everybody meet me there. I agreed. Yeah. These entourage people, I don't get it.

It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. Because you got to save that for the stage. Mm-hmm. All that socializing. Do you watch special still? No. I watch it.

Occasionally I'll watch something. I just rarely I go to see shows. I went to Sakura's new hour right before he taped. I think he's like the best one working right now. So funny. Because a lot of people, like, you just, you get to a level and then you're kind of coasting. You're hanging on to what you have. And it's great.

But Rory just like has been stepping up that I really love. I love silly, you know? Yeah. I don't want to see some. I'm like, I'm dark. You'd love it. Like, no, I wouldn't. Yeah.

Like, that's what I do. But I really love Rory. He's like what, like, I used to talk up, um, I came live in blanking on his name right now. He's the biggest comic in the world. Nate Bargazzi. I talked about Nate Bargazzi so much. And now I think it's like, I think he's like, now he's at the top where it's like it's a little bit less silly. You know what I mean?

That he's just like the establishment now. Right. That Rory, I think, is the new, the new Nate. Nate was like a secret. Yes. When you saw him, you were just like blown away by it. That I think that's, I think that's Roy now. He's claiming to take a break now, Nate.

He's talking about stepping back a little bit. He's building Christian amusement parks. He's Willy Wonka. Yeah. There's a couple guys, Rory, Sean Patton, Sam Talent. Like, I feel like almost a screen doesn't show out their magic. You got to see them a lot. I like Sam Talent's book.

That was a really good book. Best book about stand-up that I've a best novel about stand-up. I'm getting an advanced copy of his new one's about a hitman. I can't fucking wait. Yeah, no, he's awesome. Awesome guy, too. I got a-book. I got Turning Stone Casino in Verona, New York, June 6.

Then I'm doing Europe. There's another fart mark. Sorry, trying to keep that one little. Then I'm doing Lisbon, Athens. Athens, Budapest, Zagreb, Vienna, Warsaw, Helsinki, Sweden, and Copenhagen. I'll add some other stuff when I have more material. But, yeah, special hopefully coming out around then, we'll see. Back in the clubs, we're adding shows.

I'm doing those 4 o'clock Saturdays. Those will sneak up on you. Milwaukee, Philly, Irvine, Tempe, Detroit area, Mark Ridley's hilarities. Emerald City. Have you done that one? Seattle, Emerald City? I've never done it either. I'm nervous.

Side splitters in Tampa, Cobbs and San Fran, and Houston and Nashville. Come on out, get some bodega cat. We were drinking it last night. I'm hurting. And yeah,

check out Anthony on the road. All right. Enjoy my book club. Book club. That's the important thing. Just on the book club. Put your email address in or just go to you,

YouTube and check it out, but it's, uh, it's doing well. Peters and I just picked up Stoner, we'll let you know. I'm pumped to read it. Please. Does Mullaney have a book club as well? Kind of. Uh-oh. Melania, and I wish everyone would have a book club.

People are like, are you guys competitive? It's like, not at all. But Malaney is just like, here's three books I'm reading, and then that's it. Yeah. I'm like, I have like an, I talk for an hour about the book. You can email me. I answer questions about the book. I, like, really want to get people to read and love reading as much as I do.

Hell yeah. All right, thanks folks We'll see you all in hell Praise Allah