We Might Be Drunk - Ep 101: Bachelor Party Pt 2

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Shane Gillis, Joe DeRosa, Dave Attell, Godfrey, Gary Vider Sam Morril and Mark Normand for part 2 and conclusion of this epic bachelor party episode. Even Donald Trump shows up to let us know what he thinks of Joe DeRosa. Godfrey: https://www.instagram.com/comediangodfrey/?hl=en Joe DeRosa: https://www.joederosainfo.com/ Dave Attell: http://daveattell.com/ Shane Gillis: https://www.shanemgillis.com/ Gary Vider: https://www.garyvider.com/ Mark Normand: http://marknormandcomedy.com/ Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/shows Visit http://www.manscaped.com and use code DRUNK for 20% off. https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com/shop https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod http://www.bodegacatspirits.com  

Netflix is listening and I think they're biting at LaRudy now. He's already passing the sign. That accent did it for me. How about you, buddy? He's actually hosting The Daily Show. Listen, folks. Oh, just jump in whenever you want, Shane. But you know what?

We're so happy Shane Gillis can make it. Hey, good to have you there, Gil. I owe Shane a big apology. Oh! Oh! Shane Gillis can make it. Hey, good to have you there, Gil. This is the best bachelor party ever. This is a hell of a party. Party's over. Oh. We went from the hottest guy to the least hottest guy. From stripper to cancer.

Who ordered the cancer patient? Come on, sir. Make a wish. He is. God, Gnome is here. Fantastic. Just put him in Mark's pocket real quick. All right.

Get right between us there, little boy. There you go. That was great. This guy looks like a fucking moron, right? Was it hard crossing paths with Rudy on the way out? There you go. There's a hat to commemorate. You guys share a cab?

Your make a wish. Is it real? This is part of Gary's make a wish, guys. Let's make it count. Yeah. How's a hat to commemorate your make-a-wish. This is part of Gary's make-a-wish, guys. Let's make it count. Yeah. How's the leukemia going? How's the, what's that called? Oh, God, the laughs.

Chemo. Thank you. What is that? A moment of quietness. I'm driving. Are you? Oh, shit. Gary, I know your wife, you told her you're stopping drinking. I think for today, we mix it up a little bit.

What do you think? Have a drink, Gary. Come on. I'll take a sip. Gary, don't fold. Have a sip. Do a bum. Why'd you stop drinking?

Paper plane. Why'd you stop drinking? Something. You got two kids. Yeah, two kids. I don't know. I just slow it down. I drink with him every once in a while on the road.

Get Gary a drink. I'll do a paper plane. Hold on. Gary's I just slow it down. I drink with him every once in a while on the road. Get Gary a drink. Hold on. Gary's going to slow it down. We're not going to see you at the hyper pace we've witnessed you in for the last 10 years. I get pretty crazy. This breakneck speed can't stop. I can't help myself. Have you been drunk this whole time?

Yeah, I've been pretty fucked up. Really? I drink every while. I stopped after. I would drink for four years, then I went to Vegas for one night, and then I broke my sobriety. What happened there?

I was with Andrew Santino, and he was just like, you know, it's not a big deal if you drink or not. Santino's a fucking pig. We're in Vegas. He's an enabler.

Santino's an absolute pig. Oh, yeah. He's an absolute pig, that kid. He drooled. I know. I'm fucking holding him. He drooled. I know. I'm fucking with you. I've been like six of these cocktails, whatever these things are.

These will fuck you up. These planes are fucking me up, dude. They're good. I mean, yeah, they're putting their fucking lettuce dog, what's your whiskey called again? How dare you? I don't know what that means. That sounds like one of your sandwiches. All right. you. I don't know what that means. That sounds like one of your sandwiches. Boom!

Alright. Wait, real quick. Gillian Keeves is out. Gillian Keeves is out now, dude. Season 2. Hell yeah. No, it's behind a paywall. Make some money. It's GillianKeeves.TV. Are you going to put it on YouTube later like Schultz?

I don't think so. I think maybe like a sketch or two to try to get someone to watch it. But yes smart Some of the best news max Gary you're new. What do you think news max? Yes. I don't know much about Now it's hard for you to break away you You live in deep Jersey. You got a wife and kids. I have one kid, another one on the way. You're living his life. This is where he's headed, Jersey.

Go ahead. Tell him about setting up a trampoline. Where in Jersey do you live? Burton County. There I go again. Trying to get rid of all the comics. There I go again. Easy. get left off all the comics. Here I go again. Easy.

Easy. Someone had to be urban in here. I was parking. I don't know. Oh, my God. I had to pay for parking. Oh, my God. You were the first, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We all take care of it. The guy with the no shirt on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about the price of parking. How much more time do we have on this never-ending podcast? This is what everyone in the Midwest wants to hear about.

New York parking. Poor us. A long time. Really? A couple hours. Since two. It's quite a party. We're going hard here.

You're fucked up. Shane, we wanted to. Shane was supposed to come at 2 p.m. I know. I fucked up. I wake up to a Shane Gillis text with Mark on it. It's supposed to be a surprise. I didn't know it was a surprise.

And Shane goes, I can't make it. And Mark goes, Shane's coming? All excited? I was like, I don't know. That's nice. Yeah, I was excited. I thought you set something up. Oh, yeah.

Well, I did. I ruined it. You did. I didn't know. I didn't know. Hey, well, Matt Peters really set this all up. Yeah, Peter. Matt, you made it again.

How'd that stripper go? What was he up to? I wish I was there for that. That would have been nice. He was bummed that we didn't care. It was uncomfortably hot. Yeah, I bet. I was uncomfortable.

It was a slightly shaved body. You could see some stuff. It was like an intervention of strangers. You look at us like, what? This has nothing to do with my coding problem, does it? And now, to bring it home, Shane's going to read us the Turner Diary.

Good book. And now, to bring it home, Gary, tell us about the traffic cycle. Oh, my God. It is miserable out there. What are we talking, Holland or Lincoln? I took the Lincoln.

What are you thinking? I took the Lincoln. You seem like a bridge man to me. I'm a bridge man every once in a while, but every once in a while, I decide to take the Lincoln. See, there you go. I took the Lincoln. Yeah. You seem like a bridge man to me. I'm a bridge man every once in a while, but every once in a while I decide to take the Lincoln. See, there you go. You get them started, they won't stop. Gary's just all coke and college.

Oh, yeah. What? Very unsuspecting. Yeah, there you go. Are you serious? Exactly. Yeah. You still?

Yeah, yeah. I knew this fucker. He was ready. That perked your ears up. Where's my coke? Dude, give me a blue chew and some blow, dude. We were talking about that earlier. That's the Russell combo.

Back in the day, it was Viagra and some blow, but now it's blue chew. Hey, whatever keeps you behind that merch table, I say God bless. Sitting there for hours watching people walk out. I don't let features sell. Sam? Yeah, I let features sell. Can I apologize to Shane for a second or Sam? Yeah, no, I let features sell. No, but can I apologize to Shane for a second or no? Yeah, of course.

Because every time I'm at the cellar and I'm there late and Shane is just hanging out, you know, just wants to hang out, I always try to involve him, and he doesn't want to be involved, so I apologize for doing that. I love when you talk to me while I'm on stage. I like when all the comments do it. But I feel like it makes you very uncomfortable, and I i'm on stage i like all the comments do it but i i feel like it makes you very uncomfortable and i'm sorry yeah no it doesn't it doesn't you're just

yeah i'm not good at it and i genuinely met me back yeah i do no i i really feel i'm like this guy definitely doesn't want to do this well no i just i really want to watch the show i want to watch you want to watch the show and i even sit I don't stay in the doorway I sit in the corner where hopefully he doesn't see yes, and I'll be like Shane you like vibrators. Don't you like? Yes, he's like good answer dumbass When you're on stage and somebody goes I gotta pee but I don't want to walk through the room Yeah, Dave was gonna yell at me and you go fuck it. I gotta pee, but I don't want to walk through the room because Dave is going to yell at me. And you go, fuck it, I gotta pee.

I'm sorry for using you guys instead of writing material. As you're walking through the room, you'll, on your, just, you know. Yeah. Hey, so, uh. And we'll be standing. Sam, what do you think about this? I love when Dave insults you in the setup. And then if you don't, if you don't respond happy enough.

Gary, back me up on this. Oh, yeah, no, totally, I'm with you. I'm scared when you're on stage, I'm scared., back me up on this. Oh, yeah. No, totally. I'm with you. I'm scared. When you're on stage, I'm scared. We have a saying, all right? Only yes.

Agree to agree. Yes. If you don't respond snappy enough, though, I've had you go like this to me, where you'll ask me a question, and I'll go, uh, and you go, moo. You want to start a deep conversation? I just want a quick laugh and move on to the next. You can't see it, but in the back, if you hit a comic and we're with other comics, it's like, oh,

fuck. It's like, oh, he's getting you. Go, go, go. And then you say the wrong thing. I like how you guys hide in the doorway. Real Anne Frank of you. Either step out into the game or get out of the room. Well, we want to watch you. Anne Frank got caught.

We're just trying to. We're in the corner. No, Dave, we're intimidated. We love. Well, you got to step it up down there. I mean, look at me. I'm an old hack and I need all that. But should we be funny back?

Because then I feel corny. Oh, no. Now you're making me feel like it's a whatchamacallit. So I tried to just answer exactly correct. No, you should try and be funny. Try to be funny. We got to keep it going down going down there all right people on groupon love this stuff the people come down there i guess they love to see the interchange it feels like too much of a risk to try to be funny to you no what are you talking about i just answer i'm like yes killing it right now but uh no i'm saying no i'm just saying that i felt bad, and I really respect you,

because not everybody likes to do it. I actually do enjoy sitting down there. It's very fun. Now, I know right now you have your emotional paywall up. I just got it. Give me fucking 10 minutes. I know. I'm sorry.

God damn it. Give me 10 minutes. I'll be fighting DeRosa. There we are. 100%. That'll be fun. Yeah, right when I walked in with your little fucking... I said, Bert Kreiser's here. Yeah, what was that?

What's that mean? It means you're fat. Whoa. You're chewing right now. You're disgusting, dude. Joe, you... It's so annoying. It's so annoying.

I didn't say I wasn't, dude, but... Joe is definitely the... You're not even dude. Joe, you. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. I didn't say I wasn't, dude. Joe is definitely the, you're not even the fifth beetle. You're the sixth beetle here tonight. No, you're ugly. You're disgusting. Joe, you're really. You're ugly. That's nasty stuff, dude.

We have such a nice time. You always get drunk and nasty, dude. When I see your eyes like that. Joe can be a nasty drunk. Oh, when I see his eyes like that. Two straight birthdays. I left Joe's birthday, and I remember two straight years, Joe Oh, when I see his eyes like that. Two straight birthdays. I left Joe's birthday. And I remember two straight years.

Joe goes, you fucking piece of shit. And I was like, it's 2 a.m. on a Monday. Yeah. I came to your fucking birthday on a Monday because you guys have spots every other day. I know, but you can't curse people out for leaving at 2 a.m. Oh, we lost Dave. You know it's not a real curse. No, no, I know.

It's a lovingly curse. We love it, dude. Dave. You know it's not a real curse. No, no, I know, I know. It's a lovingly curse. We love it, dude. Dave's having an episode. No, my knee fell asleep. I see. That old war injury. Listen, you're a little weird, Mike. I need to massage it with punchlines.

Yo, what was it about on that Monday? I mean, come on. Now it's Tuesday, huh? Well, I think we've learned we've got to make a black friend. Well, stay tuned for your next guest. Oh, shit. This is not really the inclusive environment that Sam promoted. Who'd you get?

Sam J? You wish. Oh, actually, I think I know who it is. Uh-oh. When did you know who it is? I'm just going to say he was arrested recently. Okay. That's it.

DJ Youngfly? Who do you think it was? T.I. No. Who was arrested recently? No, I'm just going to say he was arrested recently. Okay. DJ Youngfly? Who do you think it was? T.I. No. Who was arrested recently? No, I'm kidding. He wasn't. He's just black.

Hannibal? Now that show is taking a horrible turn now that Rudy left. I knew it. That guy was the glue, man. That's a white rage. Oh, Rooney. Yeah, he was hot. Did he grind on it?

No, thank God. Is this airing as we speak or no? Huh? Is this airing now? No. no? Huh? Is this airing now? No. You got a few weeks, right? So I'll be at the... Yeah, where are you going to be, Dave?

I don't know. Which funny book? I don't know. You got a lot of work in the fall? I guess you got it now that you're married. So, you know, you got to... Is she going to go on the road with you? No.

Why not? Well, somebody's got to take care of the home. What home? That apartment you bought? It's an apartment. You still live in there? No one in it. Yeah.

Does she like that? She doesn't like that. Yeah, she loves it. The nine walk up to a closet thing that you got going there? It's a nice place. You guys won't be living there by next year. No. We're looking at Westchester.

You really? Are you? Are you joking? That would be impossible. I really are you i'm not allowed in the suburbs you know you will not yeah you gotta stay near the the clubs or something like yeah i'll be by the clubs yeah but you gotta get a you know a proper home yeah we'll get there what neighborhood are we thinking here i'm thinking fort green i like it all right you're the't you get a place? I did. Oh, you got a place in Park Green? Yeah. I kind of want to move to Brooklyn, too.

Come on. Yeah, we'd love to have you. The neighbors. Please. You'd be a good Brooklyn guy. We could not do spots together. Oh, dude, I'm an awesome Brooklyn guy. Yeah.

Gary, what do you think about the congestion pricing? Damaged waitresses? We're both drivers here. What do you think? About what? Congestion pricing. Congestion? Yeah, for the cars. I don't even know what do you think? About what? Congestion pricing. Congestion? Yeah, for the cars.

I don't even know what that is. What's congestion? Congestion pricing. They're going to charge you extra to come in during the day to drive into the city. This might hurt the podcast community. I'm paying a fortune right now. This might hurt the podcast community a lot. Yeah.

It really could. Gary's ears perked up when you mentioned getting ripped off. Oh, my God. I mean, any moment I get ripped off, I'm going to circumvent. I was in a cab once with this guy, and the guy, you put a $100 tip in on accident. Remember that? Oh, yeah. And the guy was like, oh, I can't fix it. I'm sorry, my friend.

And you were like, I'm not getting out of this cab until you fix it. Yeah, we almost fought. Yeah. Hey, what's with the accent? Oh, I can't do Asian accents. I can. I still got it. for it yeah hey what's with the accent i can't do asian accents but i can i went did a set came back you're still in the car get your money's worth for god's sake 100 bucks and the guy was like all right i'll fix it so he could do it i made him give me cash i'm like you know you have money yeah you solved it i was

i know i would have walked now it's a person who says they can't do something when they I made him give me cash. I'm like, you know you have money. You solved it. I was on a podcast. I know. I would have walked. It's a person who says they can't do something when they clearly can do it. Yep. Lady closing the door on you at the airport. Oh, yeah. That was a nightmare.

Telling you that they can't do something, but then they have the power to do it. She shut the door on me on a Connect flight. I missed the gig. Oh, actually, you were like running down there. I was running to get the Connect flight. She shut the door. said please don't and she goes i'm sorry and she shut the fucking door in my face that must have made her day though yeah you know what i tried to put myself in her shoes i'm like that must have felt pretty good there's another more i missed a gig it's like the titanic sealing the fucking sorry fellas like he's in the engine room i had to uh i watched the

guy get kicked off my flight this weekend what'd he do before takeoff he's on the engine room. I had to, I watched a guy get kicked off my flight this weekend. What'd he do? Before takeoff, I thought he was on pills, maybe blacked out drunk, but he's just vaping. Just sitting there vaping. And a stewardess comes over and was like, sir, you can't do that. And he was like, he fucking shooed him away and kept vaping. And I watched the gay stewardess go up there like into the phone. I knew it was on.

I knew something was coming. So they act like we're taking off. First class or coach? First class. And they rolled. I know this guy was first class on perks just. Yeah. Wow.

But they left the gate, circled around, went to another gate. Two black dudes came on and sabotaged him. They're like, sir, you need to come with us. And he woke up. He was like, I was just sleeping. What's the big deal? And he gave up right away. No fight. I was disappointed. I wanted to see his stats. I wanted to see a fight. He got up, hit himself. us and he woke up he was like i was just sleeping what's the big deal and he gave up right away no

fight i was disappointed i wanted to see his stats i want to see a fight he got up hit himself no harder job than a flight attendant like that's a real tough job well they have to fight now yeah they have to fight they're always like i mean that's part of it they just signed up for you for united anything being uh one floor over the cuckoo's nest it's fucking it's a mess i know yeah he got off without a struggle. I was ready to be a hero. Yeah, you wanted to... He was next to a black lady.

I was ready to rescue my black queen. Beat the hell out of someone. Beat the shit out of a white guy. Yeah. It would have been nice. You would have made the news. It would have been nice. But then I was thinking if he knocked me out.

Just get sucker punched by a guy on Perks. That would go viral. Yeah, it'd be rough. The vape on the floor. You got to know you can't do that. He kept vaping. Damn. The guy comes over and says, please stop.

Shoot him away. Damn. Is there a danger risk with the vaping? Yeah, with the lithium batteries. Right, Sam? They catch on fire. That's what they say. Remove them from your thing.

How do I get out of this shot and make him do it? Here's the thing. I will say this. When you are on drugs, you don't have any concept that things can go wrong. If you're doing coke, you're just like, nothing good. Everybody's doing coke. That's what you feel.

You feel like everybody's on drugs. Thanks. I didn't know we had an expert in the room. You missed it. We were talking about the airlines. There used to be a kingpin at the University of Buffalo. I walked away at 25 grand. You a kingpin at the University of Buffalo. I walked away with $25,000. You must at least miss the travel of being a comic out there. Where am I going?

Oh, delayed. All right, I'll have a quiet snack. But it'll give me a chance to work on my blog. Remember that time I got us out of Tampa on the United flight? Yeah, it was two weeks ago. Oh, shit. Ari never paid me. He said he did.

Yeah, well, I haven't seen a dime. Well, I got my money back for my flight. Oh, my God. You can use all these laughs for every podcast if you want. He didn't pay him. We were fucking jammed out in marcos i'm not saying a word let her talk we're like this fight is a hundred thousand miles and he was just like all right i got it i got it you gotta get those points a million miles yeah

let's talk points now gary what do you think yeah what you think? You seem like a Marriott Hilton kind of guy. Yeah, Bonvoy all the way. Yeah, yeah. Not bad. There you got it, Bonvoy. Treat yourself to a warmed up scone. Why not? You got Hilton honors?

I don't have Hilton honors. I got the, what's the one that gives you, oh, Doubletree gives you the cookie. Oh, I love the cookie. That's always a sad moment. The morning after Mark and his lady. Yeah. Enjoy all the pomp and circumstance of a, where would it be, NBC Suites perhaps?

Oh, free coffee. The two of you in the breakfast in the morning, the free breakfast. We were the residents in last weekend. My lady would be like a crate. Sorry. We were the residents in over the weekend, Gary and I in Omaha, Nebraska. I love a residence anytime you're in a hotel anytime you're in a hotel with dish soap

just fucking end it yes if there extended stay oh yeah oh the amount of divorced dudes in this hotel

oh well the vans the vans in the parking lot and all their shit in the vans yeah you're right you hear babies crying and shit

that was pretty good stuff dude bodega cat I like it yeah good shot definitely a good shot thank you hell yeah i'm not a story guy but i'll tell this one one time i was in pittsburgh and um we all went out and then we came back to the hotel and somebody had robbed the hotel which is really like robbed the hotel and we're like what did they take like the little soaps and stuff like that like did they take all that little stuff that you think but they like basically came in and was like can i help you and they robbed the hotel i was like how cool is that you know like just to like the guy behind the counter like you know because we all know late night in the hotel

they have that indian dude sleeping in the back. The security thing where you have to like buzz in. The buzz. That was before that. It's the Indian family behind the desk. The guy comes out at three in the morning in his pajamas like, hey, what's up? I know that guy. He's cooking something in the back. You can smell the ramen or whatever.

Good times. I kind of made a doc about that guy. It did not go well for him. Very difficult. I miss the poo. I like a nice residence in. Do you like it? I like where you can do your laundry. Oh, that's nice.

As far as the mainstream chains go, I like the Marriott. I like it more as a boutique hotel man. Give me a beanbag chair. Yeah, a little Airbnb. I like a boutique. Gigantic tic-tac-toe board in the lobby. You sleep inside of a boutique hotel man. Give me a beanbag chair. Yeah, a little Airbnb. I'd have a gigantic TikTok tow board in the lobby. You'd sleep inside of a Pac-Man machine. Yeah, yeah.

There's a hammock in there. No, I really, as far as the chains go, Marriott, I find, always kind of delivers satisfactorily. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Middle of the road is the best. Because the four seats is too much. It's too much. The Wi-Fi is $18. The breakfast is 90.

yeah what i hate can i say this yeah just be honest the w i can't stand the time i hate the w i'm with you really you talking about women the w is a little over the time the w is too much neon there's like oh look there's a telescope next to your bed an Etch-a-Sketch or whatever it's stupid the most overrated hotel chain I agree I agree

Keith Robinson it's his favorite hotel chain and I tell him I've said to Keith you are the most black white trash human being I've ever met in my life do you think that w is a you have to say it after right after a second stroke i didn't think hey different strokes same folks but he loves the w and i feel like slapping you joe because i know he can't no no with one side he can't

ah no you suck i hate it kimpton can be nice No, no, no. With one side, he can. No, W's suck. I hate it. Kimpton can be nice. Kimpton's aren't nice. Kimpton's all right. I'm trying to bring him back. You're saying he's half, he's white trash and black? Which side do you think is white trash?

Probably the side that's still working. Come on, Dave. Nice. I did that for you. I knew what you were doing. Now I get it. All right. I really need a black guest to show up to make that one land.

Who's this black guest? We need him quick. Where is he? No more black jokes when he gets here. This is talk you only hear at the Indy 500. Oh, yeah. Get some milk? You want to dump some milk?

Is he late? All right. Wait, who's coming? Guys, thanks for having me. We don't know. Could be anyone. Anyway, I stayed at a Grossman hotel. Your buddy.

Oh, nice. He has hotels? I didn't know he had hotels. You know what I mean. The ones that he puts you up in. Yeah, the one that he puts you up in. Oh, Sinesta. And it was just the worst fucking places.

Sinesta and Philly. Found pubic hairs in my bed in St. Louis. You sure it wasn't a condo? No, it wasn't a condo. It was a hotel. Found pubes? They gave me pubes in the bed, pubes on the towels it was a hotel. Some pubes? Pubes in the bed, pubes on the towels. That's a lot of pubes.

That wasn't coming from him. I know, yeah. Are you sure there were pubes? Oh, I was sure. Just curly hair? Probably just a black person. Curly? No, small, little.

Can you sleep through the night in a hotel? Because I have trouble. Even when I get home now, I feel like it carries over to there. It is. It's like some interrupted sleep. You know, I have to run out and smoke anyhow, but it's still like the hotel, like, I don't know. It doesn't really work for me anymore, you know,

sleeping in a hotel. How about you guys? I take drugs. You do? What do you take? It's called Seroquel. It helps you sleep through the night. You take that shit?

I mean, that's like hardcore stuff. Is it? You got it from man's, right? Yeah. That's ambient. You started taking it up with the alcohol. Yeah, because when you buy even like legit let's call them legit

drugs. It's legit. When you buy them like legit, let's call them legit drugs. It's legit. When you buy them from guys that aren't official, they're putting the, what the fuck is this stuff they're putting on all the fentanyl? Fentanyl. Dude, they've seized. You already took fentanyl once, you fucking idiot. What are you doing? That was a different.

You're talking about getting, they've seized thousands of pills at the border where they've said like, these are identical to like Adderall or whatever it is, and they're just fentanyl pills. You have to be careful with that. All right. All right. Well, the guy I'm getting them from is pretty up and up. That's what you think. You think everybody is.

Is it Dr. Oz? Are you thinking of Dr. Oz? I wish. No. He's got a John Fetterman. I'm not saying he's not, but you've got to be careful with that. All right. All right.

You've got to be careful with that. Fentany all right. You've got to be careful with that. Fentanyl, you better be very careful. You better be careful if you're doing fentanyl, dude. Oh, boy. That's the stuff you take easy. Make sure you do it well. Yeah, okay. You're down to just smokes and caffeine.

And drill wrap. That's my guilty pleasure. You give a shout-out on a corner where you're going to be and tell me to take care of business, I'll come down there. I will. Guys, thanks for having me on the podcast. Thanks, Dave. I love that you guys, you know, honestly, this is so much fun.

And Mark, really, congratulations to you. Thank you, Dave. I appreciate it. It's great to see everybody. It's good to see you, Dave. Great to see you, buddy. I'll see you tonight at the cellar. Fire and ice, my friend. Yeah, we to see you, Dave. Great to see you, buddy. I'll see you tonight at the Cellar. Fire and ice, my friend.

Yeah, we'll see you at the Cellar. Please don't talk about me when I leave. No, we won't. How long will this go on for? That's what I want to know. Apparently, we've got a black guest. Another year going, probably. Who's the next guy?

Dave's going to be in Skankfest in Las Vegas. He's also going to be at Mark Ridley's on October 20th. And he's going to be at Louisville Comedy Club. Yes, Louisville. And Helium Comedy Club in St. Louis. And Pittsburgh Improv. Yo, look a little excited. And Good Nights in Raleigh.

Check out Dave's website for more dates. He's a killer. He's one of the best. The best. The best. I can't wait for the good news. The roast is relapsing on pretzels. Dave, we love you.

Thanks, man. Thank you, Sam. You're the best, Dave. So who else is coming in? I want to know. Oh, it's a surprise. Is there really another surprise? Yes.

One more surprise guest. Who did we get? Linnell? I smell a ventriloquist. Please. Is it Piff the Magic Dragon? DeRosa, get over here. Piff was busy.

We tried. I want you here. Those Americans got there. I want you to instruct me this, sir. Yeah, I tried. How was that show? Was that a nightmare? That was the worst experience. Why was that so bad? You did it. I did you to strike me this, sir. Yeah, I tried. How was that show? Was that a nightmare? That was the worst experience.

Why was that so bad? You did it. I did it. I can tell you what it was, man. They keep you waiting. Yeah, they know what they're doing. What's this? The old America's Got Talent.

You feel like a piece of shit when you're doing the show. They really do ruin your life. Oh, yeah. I did Last Comic. It was the same format. I mean, the constant waiting around. I'll be fucked up here.

You have to bounce stuff off the bushes before you do it. It's not good. I'm gonna be drunk. I gotta drive. I can't fucking drink anymore. No, I'll drink here. Yeah, yeah. It's fucking delicious.

I'll catch up. I gotta go to dinner with my fucking girlfriend and her family after this. What? I'm gonna get fucked up. Oh, no. I don't know. You can limit on me, your friendly neighborhood boyfriend. Yeah.

She's a great ex. You don't know where you're going yet? We'll see. Thank you for saying that. Your girlfriend's awesome. Yeah, she's very sweet. Where are you guys going? She sent me a history book.

Yeah, that was right. Yeah. Where are you guys going together? I don't know. I don't know. But in the city? Somewhere in Long Island. Long Island?

Yeah, her sister and brother-in-law live in Long Island. So we're going to meet between Queens and where they live. Are you going with the family? Yeah, they're great. She's from Long Island? They're all like nice Midwest women that are like, Hey, buddy. Oh, you're having a couple drinks, yeah?

No problem with alcoholism. Yes. They're all of them. How long have you been dating her? Like, almost two years. Nice. She's good. She's a fun lady.

Yeah, she's fun. That's great. You know what she does? What's very nice is she gets so drunk, she falls asleep. Oh, wow. Every time. I'm polite drunk. My wife would punch me in the face.

She's an alcoholic. She's a plate thrower. Oh, my God. Oh, yes. It was a while. Every once in a while, I catch a bad drunk with my girlfriend. She's like, yeah, man. Like, out of nowhere, it'll. Oh, yeah, you seem like a cheery drunk. She is. Yeah She's very happy and then she falls asleep and it's like I the podcast is still going apparently taking a group photo thanks for letting me

smoke in here yeah yeah are you kidding me we're so happy you guys don't mind one one more cool

let me do it with the iPhone too we missed it Rudy would have been so good hold on alright there we go one two three

thank you guys cool thank you alright thank you Dave thanks Dave thank you we love you Dave alright I. Thank you, guys. Cool. Thank you. Alright. Thank you, Dave. Thanks, Dave. Thank you. We love you, Dave.

Alright. I'll see you guys later. Yeah. We'll see you tonight. I can't believe we got Dave here. Hey, man. We tried to put all the stops. I was like, who would make Norman excited?

You didn't tell me it was his secret party. I think I mentioned it early on. I thought it was just a partner show. No, I was kind of like, no, I think I mentioned it early on in the text, but it might have gotten lost. I was like, who will make Norman excited? I was like, Gillis, Attell. In my head, I'm like, who's a guest that will make Mark?

Peter. I just showed up. He just showed up. I didn't know. He didn't like that. He didn't pay for parking. He just comes here. He gets on the elevator.

DeRosa I knew would make Norman excited. I was thinking people that would like, that Mark's super pumped to see always. DeRosa's. I love DeRosa. Look, he doesn't know pumped to see always. DeRosa is at his best. Look, he doesn't know I'm saying this. I love DeRosa so much. We all do. He is such a little bitch, though.

He might be the most podcast goal, dude. I get why he's adopted. I get why his family dropped him off. Those Egyptians. They did the right thing. He's the best. They knew. He was adopted by an Italian family.

He does have pharaoh body, though. Oh, yeah. Very royal Egyptian body. Where are you going? Look at him. He's getting more fucking chicken. Possibly the most underrated actor. I swear.

It better call solid. Get a mic, dude. Underrated rapper as well. I've seen that. Rapper? Yeah, he can spit. What? Yeah.

You rap? I do still. Oh, I'm glad that's over. Sandwiches, rap can spit to us. What? Yeah. You rap? I do still. I'm glad that's over. Sandwiches, rap, comedy, acting. Beast, dude. Great hang. Arguably the best hang. Oh, yeah.

Such a good hang. I can't tell if you're being nice. No, we fucking love you, dude. You saved the best of the party. I never doubt you're sincere. I fucking doubt it. What are you talking about? Every time we're together, I need to note it.

He takes the first shot. Every time. True. I come in. I try to be nice. I don't want to take shots. You're saying that as if that's like a character thing. Joe has a drinking problem.

And a cook problem. So do I. I don't go around being mean. How dare you both. And a sandwich problem. You have a lot of problems. Actually, you got pretty good sandwiches, dude. Yeah, the body's a problem.

Those chicken nuggets are weird. They're like ranch flavored. Wait, where are the spicy chips? Because Beard, you want us to try these spicy chips. Where? A good catch. The one chip challenge. Should we try these one chip challenge?

Fuck that, dude. Ari did that on Taste Buds. I'm not doing that. Really? Extremely spicy tortilla chip inside. Now it's a bachelor party. Reaper pepper. Guys eating chips.

Damn. Thank God Attell's gone. We can be fine. I know. We can be ourselves. Holy hell. I love Dave, but I don't want to upset him. He apologized to me?

That was crazy. He did? Yeah, right there. He was like, sorry I don't want to upset him. He apologized to me? That was crazy. He did? Yeah, right there. He was like, sorry, at the cellar. First of all, it's not like I'm hanging out. I'm always right before him. Right. I'm always on the late show.

Yep. And then, yeah, I thought I did well the last time. Yeah, no. It was like, nice. What if we have like half a chip, Mark? You down on that exchange? Are you down for like half a chip? I need to That exchange. Oh, you don't have like half a chip? I need to have a chip.

Just a bit to get this open. Guys, I'm telling you, it's, it's, Ari ate one on taste buds. It's brutal. Like not fun. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Yeah, but Ari's. I like how you guys are still opening it, just ignoring the roast.

You guys can do it. I like it. Go for it. It's going to be fine, I promise. Jeez, it comes in one singular pack. Dude, I'm telling you guys. Do it. It's brutal.

Do it. You said your piece. Let him do it. He was literally like this. He was going like. By the way, your mouth's numb right now with the alcohol. He was like sweating and almost meowing. I can't handle this.

Oh, yeah. Get that oat milk. You're not going to be able to handle it. I'm telling you right now. Smell that. That's a weird scent. Yeah, that stuff. Jesus.

You'll be fine. Yeah. Oh, man. It already hurts. Just the tap on the tongue. You are the best. One chip in the whole thing? I know. That's how you know it already hurts. Just the tap on the tongue. You are the best. One chip in the whole thing? I know, that's how you know it's serious.

I don't like that they send it as a tombstone. Yeah, girlfriend. Shut up. Just tapping on my tongue, it hurts. No, I have to. This is going to be bad. It's kind of a wasabi where the nose is running. Oh my god, the fucking packet is spicy.

Oh my god. I got it. You're doing it? I already did it. How much do you do? My tongue is killing me How much do you do? I did a nibble I'm trying nibble

Have you tried this beer Jew? Beer Jew? Yeah That's what we call him The beer Jew Have you tried this? The spicy chip Oh yeah I did

Wait is he actually Jewish? No No I was going to say He's tall as shit Yeah he looks like Eli Roth. He'd be the tallest Jew of all time. Although, you're a pretty tall Jew.

He looks German. 6'3". Wait, should I call him Bear Jew? No, he loves it. That's a huge Jew. Can we get a round of shots, Bear Jew? Oh, we don't need shots. Oh, shut up.

All right. Don't disrespect DeRosa. Don't you dare disrespect him. Whose bachelor party is this? Don't you dare disrespect DeRosa. Yeah, is this? Don't you dare disrespect the Rosa. Yeah, I took a nibble and it's heavy duty. My tongue is hurting. Oh, you're fucked.

You're a goner. You can't handle anything. Fuck. You hate spice. I can't believe you did that. I like spicy food and I'm hurting. Ew, your mouth's disgusting. It's blue, dude. It's like eating ass. Oh my fuck. Ew, your mouth's disgusting. Oh, yeah, that's perfect, yeah. It's blue, dude. It's like eating ass. Oh, my God.

Jeez. Someone join me, please. He's done for. Thank God Dave's gone. We can have a good time. God, I was nervous. Oh, you're eating chips on a podcast. It's like, all right, I'm really sorry.

Yeah, exactly. I told you. Why didn't you listen? Because I don really sorry. Yeah, exactly. I told you. Why didn't you listen? Because I don't listen. Just a glass of oat milk. Oh, that's nice. Dude, that's that stripper's cum. Oh, no.

That's not your cum. Rudy. Why'd you do that, dude? I told you. Oh, my God. Hungover with that shit. You don't want any oat milk? Tomorrow is going to be hell. Hell. That chip in your belly tomorrow. Oh, my God. Hung over with that chip. You don't want any oat milk? Tomorrow's going to be hell.

Hell. That chip in your belly tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow. No, bro. Here we go. God fucking damn it. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's no joke.

I just took a nib. Get Vitor some Coke to sell. Yeah. I can't. I can't. I'm driving. How do people have that whole fucking chip? Jesus Christ. I'll crash. Dude, Ari ate the whole thing, dude. to sell yeah i can't i can't i'm driving how do people have that whole fucking trip jesus christ

i'll crash dude r8 the whole thing dude i'm telling you he was like the whole gag was you have to eat it and then like debate with us and he ate it and he was like as he was debating he was like shaking and like tears and sweat were coming out of his face it was yeah look i don't think i've ever said can we say probably him on taste budss is my favorite? It's literally my favorite clips possible. Come on, dude. I watch every one of them. No doubt. DeRosa being a cunt about food.

I love you guys. It's perfect for you. Because you can really dissect and just shit on a thing. And you're very good at the faces. Just like... You sound so likable and you're so unlikable. It's a perfect marriage. You're the least likable dude.

I don't know what the fuck I need to do with my body. That's really true. What are you doing to me? Let's do a shot. Cheers, dude. I'm hurting, but I took less than you.

I'm going to dinner with Shane and his girlfriend. Cheers, dude. Where are we going, dude? You're old enough to be her father. Where are we going, dog? How about the KFC

in Penn Station? There we go. Oh, yeah, we did that. How about the KFC and Penn Station? Remember the TGI Fridays? TGI Fridays. And the McDonald's, of course. With a late train. Me, Norman, I think James Smith, possibly. I miss James Smith so much.

I remember one night I was leaving Gotham and it was raining hard out. And I watched James. All these women were trying to get a cab and I miss James Smith so much. I remember one night I was leaving Gotham and it was raining hard out. And I watched James. All these women were trying to get a cab. And I watched James just cut right in front of them. Take the cab. They all screamed, you fucking asshole. And I just watched him laugh getting in the cab.

He didn't even know I was there. I witnessed that just as like, oh, this is James Smith. He's the funniest dude. He said one of my favorite things ever to me. We were hanging out drinking. It was me, him, and Rachel Feinstein. And he goes, James Smith. He's the funniest dude. He said one of my favorite things ever to me. We were hanging out drinking. It was me, him, and Rachel Feinstein. And he goes, James Smith goes. Oh, man.

He goes way back in the day. He goes, what the fuck do you do during the day, DeRosa? Right? And I go, I don't know. I'm a comic. I do shows at night, whatever. And he goes shame your days

aren't filled and I go what do you do during the day and he goes a lot of administrative work mate damn dude

and we were like what I don't get it like what are you talking about it's alright the rest of the telling story is great.

That shit sucks, but for real, you telling it is great. That was like one of my stories. But you're telling it's better. But did you lean in and laugh hard at your own story? No, no, no. That's how a guy tells a story. I don't know, man. I was gripped by DeRosa's story.

No, it was still good. It's funny that he said he does a lot of administrative work. I don't know, man. I was gripped by DeRosa's story. No, it was still good. I was gripped. It's funny that he said he does all of it. I don't get it. I get paperwork. I don't know. No, I didn't get what it meant. That's the point of the story. Nobody got what it meant.

Oh, okay, okay. Now, James Smith is a fucking great singer. Another shot. Let's run another shot. No, no, no. For the viewers at home, it's 11 a.m. What is this here? James Smithith i rode in a cab with him once and he's going oh oh the bo in this cabbie what's the deal mate the guy's like fuck you

fuck you and he's like oh why don't you get a shower mate and the guy was like fuck you and i was like shut up man what are you doing i didn't know you could do that yeah foreigners no problem yeah just the bo is coming through the glass. No, no, wait. Where's James Smith from? Australia. Yeah, that's what I meant. The foreigners, the white foreigners are like,

fucking Indians up here, disgusting. It's like, yo, bro, chill the fuck out. Exactly, exactly. It was weird. They have no idea how good whites are in America. You would love James Smith. That dude's a fucking... Sounds like him.

He's an Australian. Is he alive? It's wild. The shit he would say... We went into a deli once. When I lived in Hell's Kitchen, we went into the bodega. I haven't pissed once, by the way.

This guy's pissed more times. I've counted. I've seen it. We went into... His jaw kind of stick doesn't work. We went into my bodega at Hell's Kitchen, and he goes... Shut up.

And the guy's ringing us up, and he goes, when's the next attack, mate? Holy shit. And I was so embarrassed. And the guy started laughing. He goes, ah, fuck you, man. Fuck you.

And he goes, no, let us know, man. Damn. I was like, these guys can just, like you said, they can just get away with anything. Yeah, Australians should be, they should be the best at stand-up. They should be. I think they're going to be. Well, you got Jeffries. Give them another 10 years. Australia is going to be the best. stand-up. They should be. I think they're going to be. Well, you got Jeffries. Give them another 10 years.

Australia is going to be the best. I thought they were most politically correct over there than anywhere. They are. They're Canada now. Yeah. They're like pussies. I was just over there. Australia's Canada.

But when they come over here, they let loose. As far as like... Oh, it's been up on the floor. Yeah, it just came out of your mouth. But yeah, when I went there there they were like because i think they're so they're so racist that they go hard the other way like they overcompensate by getting mad at the you can't talk about aborigines yes that's the thing that yeah of course you're like hey listen this doesn't matter yeah we're allowed to make fun of aboriginals. Yes. And they're all like, no.

No. It was darn... Hannah Gatsby ruined it for them. No, that's fine. Look, it was... They were so fun and funny and now she's like... No, they're still fun and funny.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, probably their social pressure to make them more PC is going to make them funnier. You think so? Yeah.

You're going to get a bunch of Australian dudes being like, fuck that. Fuck you. That's funny. Because they're animals deep down we've met them they come to comedy shows they're fucking wild yeah they're the wild they're drunk yeah they're the wild it's like yeah it's like a real ragtag kind of uh thing but like what but like you're saying they're getting like soft yeah they got hit with like it was pretty strict during covid they got hit with like, it was pretty strict during COVID. They got like Canada.

Pretty strict. It was really. Yeah, they got strict. And they're very, so when we went through BLM, they got, every other country had to pretend they were also not racist. So they all had to be like, yeah, here's our thing that we need to atone for. So Australia went hard with Aborigines. Right. Aboriginals.

I hope I'm saying it correctly. Yeah. I don't want to offend the natives of Australia. You know what I mean? It's never a good word when you're not trying to offend. I think the term is savages. I thought natives is totally fine. Yeah, they're natives. They're usually like original people.

Guys, what are we off of? All the fucking different. Original people? No, but I thought I meant coming from other people, what are we off of? All the fucking different... Original people? No, but I thought... Good one. I meant coming from other people. What are we off on the fucking... Another round of shots.

I'll do another one. I remember... Wait, you didn't even do the last one? I'm sipping. Me and Steve will do one. Do it. Why me? I got a night ahead of me, too.

Do it. What the hell? We got four shows. Where are you going to go? We're going to dinner. Norman, me, and Vito. Oh, we are? Yeah, we're going to dinner. Oh, we're going toito. Oh, we are? Yeah, we're going to dinner.

Oh, we're going to dinner. I'm driving us there. You guys are going to dinner? You guys didn't invite us? You didn't invite us? You're all invited. Come with us. You didn't invite the rest of us?

Old Homestead, you in? Oh, are you kidding? You want to come? I wanted to go there last night. Come with us. Are you serious? Come with us. Shut up.

You see a cartoon? Fuck yeah, bro. You got to get a bump in you. You're on a level. I'll get a bump in you. You're on a level. He'll get a bump in him. Look how small he poured the shots. Hold on. That's a good bartender.

You guys, I know a train wreck when I see one. He needs one. Finish that one and get another one, you coward. Oh, who's talking? Where's yours? Right here, bro. Oh, shit, dude. You do got one right there.

I still got a full paper plane here. This is episode is the exact mess I hoped it would be. This is beyond mess. Dave left it there. Dave knows when to leave. God, I had six pink drinks. I'm flying. Pink drinks.

But now your cat's got you fucked up. That's true. That's a res at Old Homestead. 6.30. Oh. Do you have spots tonight? I do, but I might have to cancel. I do, too.

I'll tell you right now, you're going to have to cancel those, dude. Really? Wait, 6.30, that's two hours from now. Oh, shit. Bro, we're just getting warmed up here. Anyway, cheers. Hey, mazel tov. You better take that as a shot, Mark.

I just took the last one. Holy shit. Take this one as a real shot. Holy shit. I just touched my dick with the chip. Oh, no. The hand that touched the chip touched my dick, and I'm starting to feel the burn. Welcome to the party.

Fuck. Why'd you do that? That wasn't very strong. I wasn't thinking. Don't wipe your eyes. Yeah, how's your tongue? That's the worst. My tongue hurts.

My dick hurts more than my tongue. Well, your dick's not used to this kind of spice. A lot of guys don't know. I's worse than dick. Fuck. All right, hey. Cheers. So wait, is there anyone else coming?

Yeah, there's one more guy, and he's going to be ambushed. You'll see. Do the shot. I can't be sober around this. This is terrible. It's not Godfrey, is it? I was going to say, is it Godfrey? I can't tell you who's coming.

Is it Greer Barnes? He likes a cocktail. Is it Sherrod? If it's Sherrod, this is going to go sideways right now. I wish. We can't handle Sherrod. This is like Clue. We should get Sherrod.

Black guy with the beer. Or guess who, Radler. Sorry. Mark. Mark. Yeah. Yes, dude. You're going to die.

Yo, you're going to be dead. Dude, we're going to old homestead, dude. Hell yeah. You're gonna be full of all these... Is Hanley coming with his cigars back there? He could make a visit. He's coming to the steakhouse. Sweet. Man, you guys... I am actually hurt a little bit that you guys were like... You didn't invite me

to the... You are invited. Now. Now that I've addressed it, it did hurt my knee. I made a larger reservation. I would hope everyone would come. No, that's fucked up. What do you know about Old Homestead? My mouth is on fire. Really?

It's the most famous? It's my favorite. Oh, it is? It's one of the oldest. Ew, dude. I went to Smith & Wesson last night. Cancel with your girlfriend's family and come and get drunk with us. No, I can't.

You can come if you want, Peter. I'm going to go. Stop chewing into the mic. Bring her with us, dude. Who cares? No, I can't because it's not just me and her. It's her family and she was like, what day is going to work? That makes sense.

Here's one day. She was like, block it off. Wow. Old homesteads from 1868. Oh, nice. Liam Neeson died in Gangs of New York. Whoa. The dead rabbits.

No, it's not. Dude, my dick's on fire. My dick is hurting so badly right now. That sucks. Put your dick in oat milk. Should I do it? Yeah. Get me the cop uniform and I'll do it.

You wouldn't. No. You wouldn't be able to dip your dick into a cup. Who couldn't? It's a cup. You just fill it up high. My friend was a real piece of shit in college and used to fill people's beers up with his dick in the glass and you look at me And he given the beer. Oh

He was a bad guy real Yeah, the upper decker. That ruins the toilet. Really? That may not ruin it. Somebody's got to fish it out. I remember watching my friend. We were at a house party. It was one of those grates on the floor for the heat, and he shit in that.

Yeah, you're the best. You're the best. Yeah. Real fucked up for your ladies dinner. I don't give a fuck. At least I'll be able to talk. are you on good terms with the family already yes that's good normally i i'm pretty quiet if i'm sober or something like this i'm just same dead silent a little especially because the whole time they'd be like oh you're the sketch show came out i know it's you are so good at trump dude that's i will say i love all your sketches the trump one it hits me different just because you you it's to take trump and make it not hacky

is it takes a lot of skill thanks dude well that's why it takes a lot of love dude well no it does you kind of have to yeah you go. Dude, I was watching Colbert last night. They had fucking Nancy Pelosi. Really? Dude, it was nuts. She was on there? Yeah, she was the guest. And they were like, how about they showed a picture of Biden with Kamala Harris and her behind him at the State of the Union.

And they were like, isn't it cool that you broke the glass ceiling and now there's two women behind the president? And it was obviously they wrote this out. And she was like, what if it was just three women up there not a female president and two females and that's oh crap dude there was literally a dude in the crowd that was like you can listen to the crowd react and there's a dude going for real the gayest dude of all time it's so weird you didn't hear the gayest dude of all time. It's so weird. You can hear the gayest dude of all time. Yeah, what happened to Funny? He's like, dude, that would be incredible.

Oh, he's for it. You know, the lineup is, ratings-wise, it's Gutfeld, then Colbert. Gutfeld dominates, dude. Dominates, and then Colbert. Folks, I got to be honest with you. I call her Pigrosi. Pig. Nancy Piglosi.

She's hot she's got great cans I want to see those cans yeah well they're old now no but people

are saying that they're not old that she got implants oh no I want to see those cans clearly they're saying they're

subsidized you think you think those are real she's like 80 yeah she's got work done you think 80 year old tits look that good well obviously there's a brassiere holding them up Pull him up. She's like 80. Yeah, she's got work done.

You think 80-year-old tits look that good? Well, she has a brassiere holding them up. No, but even still. She has massive cannons. We all agree on that. Huge cans. Joe, you're a statesman of jacking off to older women. Joe, you've got massive cans. You're the Nancy Pelosi of comedy.

Old and giant tits. Joe's never done Colbert. She's got huge cans. It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. Colbert brought her on, and then they talked about how important it was to vote during these elections so that the Democrats came in there. It's Godfrey! It's Godfrey! Yes, dude.

Last night, we said hello. Hey, get in here. I called it. I called it. I knew it was going to be a Nigerian. I could called it. I called it. I knew it was going to be a Nigerian. I could feel it. I could feel it. Even though we didn't make it to World Cup.

It's all right. You guys have made some noise before. Hell yeah. Look at all this money. I need it. I'll be right back. How many spots did you do yesterday? Yeah, I did four or five, I think. It's like weekend spots here, right?

You just missed David Tell. David Tell just left. Of course he did. Yeah. He had to go do a spot at the Port Authority. Fucking Joe. Man, Nigeria didn't make it? We were trying to guess who was going to show up, and we were like, is it going to be

God? Really? You just guessed it? I knew. I just saw him yesterday. Oh, yeah. No JJ Okocha this year, huh this year huh no one coach out at old school shit huh yeah what's up what's up dude do you need a drink are you good yeah coke all right all right give him alcohol joe's got coke i'm not good at alcohol wait you never drink not really. Even in college.

You'd be a good drunk. Or the worst. But it's strong. A lot of Pacino. We're doing fewer planes right now. They're not too strong. Oh, you know what I do? There's a thing called a shandy. You ever heard of that?

You take like... No, no, no. You get like Sprite and mix it with Guinness. That's a Jamaican thing. It's so good. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Dude, Jamaicans.

Yeah. Nigerians love, my father always had a lot of Guinness. We had a lot of Guinness. Guinness was an Irish drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the lager, it's thick. So I always had Guinness in the house. And we'd mix it with the seven.

It's so good you know what that's a nice red bull and guinness oh really red bull and guinness red bull and guinness yeah yeah yeah that's the jamaica that's the jamaican drink yeah you think it'd be terrible it's not bad i mean you will you're gonna throw up really i drink some of it and i i can't drink like you guys you know jamaicans invented chocolate milk. I can't. Fun fact. Is that true? Yeah.

It's gross after a while. Fun fact. Wait, what's up? I said Jamaicans invented chocolate milk. Hey! That's crazy. I like that black history. It ain't even February.

Go ahead, Mark. Yeah, I got one. Go ahead, Mark. You know what's nice about the steel drums? You know why that's Caribbean? It's because it was all the steel drums that they were using to ship out all the exports they were using but the the black dudes down there were like of course we can make some drums hell yeah yeah yo what is all this black history amongst white men finally well we we do love mark i got you i got you some oat milk for your bachelor party real shit real shit I love it. God.

Mark, take a sip of the oat milk. Uh-oh, is that jizz? What? No. Is that oat milk? No, fucking don't drink it. Wait, what are you doing? Why are you doing that shit? Why are you guys doing drinks?

Why are you guys doing this? He dipped his penis in it. Why would you do that?? Nah, man, don't do that shit. Why are you guys doing this? He dipped his penis in it. Are you fucking serious? I almost drank it. Why would you do that? It was on fire from the flaming hot shit. Why would you do that? He told me to do it. I didn't drink it.

Thank God. Why would you do that? Because he told you that it would be funny for the bachelor party. That's disgusting. I didn't think it was that funny. This is the type of shit. You know what this reminds me of? When I went, I did, when Eddie Iff and Jim Jeffries had a podcast on Venice. I did years ago.

And it was me, Segura, and some other. And they were all jerking off in glad bags. What? No, no. Ziplocs. He was like, let's see if we can jerk. And I didn't do it. I was just like, what the fuck are y'all doing?

Because that's gay. And that's why it reminded me of. You did stick your dick in there. You did, didn't you? That's fucking disgusting. How fucking despicable do you feel? I feel like I have a lot of growing to do as a person. No, no, that's cool as shit, dude.

Don't worry about it. That's cool. That's cool as hell. God damn it, dude. Our first black guest just showed up. You're going to do the whiteest guest just showed up. You didn't do the white. The whitest shit possible. Fuck. You're predictable.

I knew some shit was coming out. The whitest shit possible. Balls and a dick. Yeah. Jizz. It's never. We got Godfrey showed up. Yes.

I am the control of this. I control your antics. We had a sleepover when I was a kid and we had our one black friend stay over and we put his pinky in water because we wanted him to piss himself and he flipped. He woke up and he was like, what the fuck? We're all standing above him and he just started swinging. We all got hit.

Courtney Reynolds, he's a comedian. He's a Jamaican dude. He's from Philly. I do this nice little fun trick I do. You see where the horse hit me? It's always I did that to him. He's grabbed my balls. I did that to him. Gil is just grabbing my balls. That's a fun joke.

What are you, black or black? But you didn't even flinch. He can't feel his dick right now. He went to summer camp. I did it to Courtney and Courtney with no hesitation socked me in the camp. I did it to Courtney, and Courtney, with no hesitation, socked me in the dick, dude.

I dodged him, and he goes... And I was like, all right, all right, I got to take this. I did. I do deserve this. Normally, that's a fight. When you play ball, right, we do a lot of locker room shit. They always fucking did that. Of course.

It's always like, oh, they're going to twist your nipple. Here's my dick. Snap your... Yeah, weird shit up your ass. But then it's funny, because now you got, like, the black dudes in the locker room, they're going to twist your nipple. Here's my dick. Snap your, yeah, weird shit up your ass. But then it's funny because now you got like the black dudes in the locker room. They're like, it makes it funnier. You go, you show everybody your dick and the black dude's like, man. We would always get our clothes on quick because the white dudes would be naked the longest.

We're like, what the fuck? Black guys came up with no homo. Right. Oh, really? Yeah, before they said something, they go, yo, no homo. I think Hitler. I think Hitler. They even say no homo. I think Hitler. They even say no home.

I think Hitler came up with no home. Pretty severely. In Switzerland? In Switzerland? They were on the train. Dude, I literally tweeted that I was watching the Kenberg. Something about watching the Kenberg and Talico stock. Oh, shit.

Is that your shit? A management company who's trying to sign me literally wrote me a text today saying, we want to sign you. We also watched the Ken Burns Holocaust doc, and we were equally disturbed. And I was like, this is your fucking method? Wow. We found the Holocaust to be horrible. How would you like to team up? No shit.

Jared Logan had a really funny no homo joke he's a funny guy yeah we're talking about how guys say no homo when they compliment each other yeah when they come yeah and he goes he goes he goes he goes i compliment he goes i compliment guys and i say and then i drop to my knees and put my mouth up to their crotch and go. Jared Logan is fucking. Remember Jared Logan's bit about you go to a friend's home and you're like, oh, you own Great Gatsby where the red fern grows a separate piece. You seem to be a huge fan of required reading

it's a great jared logan bit he's funny dude he's funny so alive right okay yeah yeah no he just moved to la that's how we talk about people who went to california that's a death no we think he's alive we're not sure yet you leave that you leave the east coast you fucking die bye it's never too early to play holiday music and it's never too early to start thinking about gifts. Whether it's just for a friend, or the friends of your pants. It's your penis and your balls. You can make this season to be jolly with Manscaped.

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That's 20% off with free shipping at Manscaped.com and use code DRUNK. Manscaped, Get your jingle balls ready for the holidays. Wait a minute. So the Jerusalem Post picked up your Free Palestine heckle. I had a heckle in Nebraska over the weekend. A woman yelled out and Gary was there. By the way,

Free Palestine, you fucking dirty Jews. You told me on the phone. Yeah, Godfrey called me over the weekend. Really? Yeah, I said, I want to do your fucking bug. Yeah, yeah. And he told me on the phone. Yeah, Godfrey called me. Up the rock. Really? Yeah, I said, I want to do your fucking bug. Yeah, yeah. And he told me about this. So what happened was this woman, this woman out of, I'm doing an Epstein joke. And she goes, free Palestine.

I was like, weird timing. All right, whatever. Actually, she's exactly right. He was Mossad. Go ahead. So we start rolling with it. And she just keeps going. And it turns into a whole thing.

I'm trying to be as calm as possible and nice as possible, but I fucking post the thing because I think it's a hilarious encounter. And the Jerusalem post, the headline is, a woman at a comedian show yells out, free Palestine. The Jewish comedian offers her a drink. Really? That's the headline because I said, what are you drinking? I'll get you a drink. The Jewish comedian offered her a drink. That sucks That's the headline. Because I said, what are you drinking? I'll get you a drink.

That was my. The Jewish comedian offered her a drink. That sucks to be identified by a race like that. How about the San Marino? The Jewish comedian. The Jew offered her a beverage. In the article, it says openly Jewish comedian. I was like, openly Jewish?

I didn't know I had a choice. I didn't know I could have come out to my parents. Mom, sit down. My foreskin is gone. The Jerusalem Post. The Jerusalem Post. Folks, my remote control has more of range. Was that Andy Kindler or Dice?

I couldn't tell. Andy Dice. Andy Dice. Kindler. Dice? I couldn't tell. Andy Dice. DeRozan's fucking wrecked. Look how drunk DeRozan is. The Jerusalem Times, folks. Folks. My exercise machine has more strength. This is a fucking mess.

You know how much I want to fucking Sparta kick him right there? That was a great bit. That was a great bit. Your adoptive is showing. I want to fucking Sparta kick him right Well, we made a plaster We're the expert in here we objectify black people It's a fetish that's a fun thing we do as whites I know you right man I love this man you woke man yeah you'd be surprised I'm not surprised motherfuckers I should spar to kick you down dude for that just being a disgusting Egyptian, dude He's in North Africa Patrice you say to me

You talk to you what would he do you call me every Thanksgiving and we go here we go. Yeah, you go you go Joe man It always sound like it was like a thing I burdened him with. The invite was a thing I somehow burdened him with it. You know? And he'd go, Joe, man, I'm just trying to, I'm having Thanksgiving, man, so I just want to invite you. You know what I mean? And I'd go, Patrice, I can't. I got to go see my mom and dad. And he go, Joe, you a dirty African motherfucker like the rest of us.

Stop upholding your bullshit white traditions. He would call me for the summer barbecue and he go, hey, African, listen. He's like, I know you don't gotta get a lot of food but listen African, you can wipe the flies off your face

and come over to the pool. Oh my God. Oh that's how Patrice talked to us. He just shouted, but he wanted you to come but he had to shit on you

first. Yes, yes. Before, that's what Patrice was. I remember one of the last conversations I had with him was he trashed me on Opie and Yes, yes. Before, that's what Patrice was. I remember one of the last conversations I had with him was he trashed me on Opie and Anthony. We were on Opie and Anthony together

and they were plugging my dates and he goes, he goes, after they plugged my dates, he goes, Joe, who you opening for on those dates?

Right? And I was like, ah, ah, yeah. And then he called me later that day. I remember I was at my mom's house.

I go, hey, hello? And he goes, Joe, man. Listen, man, the only difference between me now and me then, I wouldn't have called a motherfucker back then to say I'm sorry, but I'm sorry. And you're like, dude, you're calling me to apologize right now.

And you sound like it was my idea. Damn. I didn't think you was going to pull out of that story. Yeah, yeah. He got out of that. You sound like it's my idea. I didn't ask you to call me to apologize. Remember the fucking, what was it, Charlie Sheen roast?

Was it Charlie Sheen? Yeah. He headlined it. He called me after that. Who? Patrice did? I remember when I was living in Brighton. He called me.

He said, hey, did you see that shit last night? I was like, yeah, I watched it. I said, you were dope as fuck. You made it so different. It was different. He goes, yeah, they just wanted to see the fat nigga fucking bomb. All right, motherfucker. He said.

They got me last. He was mad that he was last yeah yeah he was so angry but it's also tough to go first and they always put geraldo first that's a tough spot too yeah i'd rather go first though yeah knock it get it out the way well patrice said that was the 20 years of experience he pulled out of his ass just to make that work. Yeah. All those rough gigs. They didn't feel like jokes. It felt like riffing. Yeah.

That was his genius. It was really dope. With William Shatner, where he was going, Captain Kirk, you a fucking asshole. Fuck you. I was like, like you said, I was like, I think he just is riffing this. Yeah. Jelzinek, that was the last white name I want to remember. Galifianakis was hard enough.

That was all. You could tell he was writing that while sitting there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, Jeselnik, I don't know. It's an open mic or some shit. No, no, no. I'm trying to remember how he said it. He goes, Jeselnik, and he goes, I refuse to know his fucking name.

Yeah. I refuse to know his fucking name. Yeah. I refuse to know his fucking name. That was it. And he goes, Gallop Van Anken was the last goofy white name I learned in this funky town. Yeah. That's a great sentence. Yeah. Goofy white name.

Amazing. That was a good one. Whatever happened to him? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I didn't even know he was sick. Were you really close with him, Godfrey? Yeah, very, man. I was very close to him

I would sit in his truck and he'd just be talking shit you know and I remember he'd talk about gigs like he said I don't leave the house if it's over

if it's less than 5,000 I ain't leaving the fucking house damn like I'm like oh well I got a gig and I'm going

I gotta get it for 4,500 1,500 I gotta go to West Niagara yeah I'm going to get it for $4,500. $1,500. I got to go to West Niagara. Yeah, I'm going to hit that. But he wouldn't leave the house. Then he would say, yeah. He goes, man, listen, man, I fucked up a lot of shit on purpose.

Because I was talking to him about Twitter at the time. I said, yeah, man, I'm trying to get followers. He goes, man. Yeah. He's like, I would rather have 10,000 motherfuckers that fuck with me than 100,000 that ain't shit he said yeah he would talk he would give me a lot of good advice

I wish I was black I could say stuff like that I know fuck I'm sorry I gotta be white and I'm like well you need to look on your social media Robert Reed Bradybunch. Well, Bobby, you know what we always say. Social media is very important. Better to have quality

than quantity. TikTok, YouTube shorts, and reels. Can you bleep this name if I tell this story? Oh, shit. I need to say the name in the room to get the laugh, but can you bleep it? Keith Robinson.

No, we were both being managed at the same time by the same guy, and so was this other person. And I was standing on the street waiting to go in and meet with my manager, and Patrice was coming out from a meeting, and he was sitting in his car, and Patrice was walking down the street. Uh-oh. his car and was walking down the street and was going up to have a meeting with them too. And he kept walking up and

Patrice just went and pulled his window up and said hi to the guy walking. Patrice put the window back down and he goes, I'm sorry Joe, I just couldn put the bag in the wagon. Patrice put the window back in, and he goes, I'm sorry, Joe. I just couldn't get any of that on. And I know that's the thing.

Holy shit. I love him. Wow. It was awesome. It was amazing. Remember that game show? Did you do that? Which one?

The game show you were hosting. Oh, it never took. Remember that game show? Did you do that? Which one? The game show you were hosting? Oh, it never took. Who were you hosting? I got called in to host this game show because somebody dropped out. Who dropped out? Do you know? I don't know. But it was bigger than me.

It was more important than me. And so they called me in. And I did my thing. But I don't think my thing is what they want, you know? Yeah, especially the guns. Yeah. Should have blown on them. Price is right.

That's what I did. That's what I did. He'd be like, you don't like it. You got it wrong. You thought you had the right answer, but no. He's the winner. He's a sociopath. You are a psycho, dude.

You're a sociopath? You are a psycho, dude. Well, I'm doing comedy. You're the biggest psycho. You are crazy. I'm doing comedy. I thought that's what people were thinking. You're a good psycho. But he's a mellow psycho. Sure. You are.

You could have gone the other way. That's true. You could have dommered out. I could have murdered people. Yeah. Instead, you just do okay on stage. Yeah. You could have murdered people.

I thought about it. I thought about it, obviously, I thought about it, obviously. I got a family now. I feel like I let them down. I got to think about a little one.

I was trying to get a couple guns to head up to Mandalay Bay. That sounds like a great idea, actually. Get some guns, dude. Get a hotel room. Get out there. I know.

In New York, you can have guns now, man. Really? Yeah, you can get a license to have a gun in New York. It's about damn time. You know how I knew it was going to shit?

Finally, people on the subway will be packing heat. Artie wants to get guns. That makes me... So what he's hosting... He's got to have posters with those tight suits. He can't even have

the red strap. He goes in on show through his jacket. I can just see him showing it going, yeah, huh? You like that? Like that gun right there. And he'd have a new vest every time. Yeah.

Let me get them some champagne. By the way, that does, they should, if I was a Democrat, I'd be running a commercial of Artie buying a gun. And just being like, are you sure you want Second Amendment rights? Just a dude dressed like Conor McGregor buying a fucking handgun. He's taking a lady's purse. Keith Robinson called me one day and he goes, I saw dumb Artie last night. That's really good. You might be drunk enough to be nailing Keith Robinson.

I'm drunk. I'm stroke drunk. I'm stroke drunk. I'm stroke drunk. You're handicapped. He goes, God damn stupid, Arnie. Holy shit.

I was making fun of his peewee Herman suits. He's like, hey, Arnie, I'm sick of you. You bug me. Can't stand your suits. Can't stand nothing about you,

Arnie. Do Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey? Oh, hell no. I'm going to tell you right now. This is a goddamn good podcast. That's unbelievable.

I'm telling Sam and Mark, you some bad motherfuckers, boy. Do Steve Harvey. Do Steve Harvey as Mark hosting a game show. Jews. I'm going to tell you something. Jews. Top five answers. Hey.

Who's the winner? Black family, white family? Controversy. Controversy. Controversy. David Tellhole said, oh, look. The black family's leading the white family. Racist.

Oh, wow. Do you still do Stath family racist oh wow do you still do Statham oh yeah I did Statham for Statham really on Opie and Jim I did it for

cause Jim called me and said dude you gotta come Statham's Statham's promoting a movie you gotta come and so I come over there

I meet Jason Statham. I'm like, holy fuck. And I'm like standing in, we're talking, I go, when the fuck am I gonna get embarrassed, right? So fucking, Opie just kinda finagles his way and goes, you do Statham, right? I go, fuck. And Statham is like,

alright, ain't waiting or shit. Oh, that sucks. He's like, I told you I'm the transporter. He's like, you do me better than me. Fuck. Wow. It's on YouTube. Shut up!

You're walking around now that a black guy's here. What the hell is that? Now when you hear a joke, you run around. Why'd you got to run off like a... Yeah, start smacking his neck. Stop acting like that. We's Egyptians. That's bullshit. Statham's a... Yeah, start smacking his neck. Stop acting like that. We's Egyptians. That's bullshit.

Statham's a cool dude. That's a great impression. He's a fucking amazing little guy, man. He's a fucking amazing little guy, man. Like, you know he was a diver. He was a professional diver. I didn't know that. When he had hair.

You could look it up. He's like a diver. Like, they show him dive, hide divers. My mustache dominates people. Really? Yeah. Wow, he keeps getting sexier. Yeah. Damn. Yeah, it was cool. He was very cool, people. Really? Yeah. Wow, he keeps getting sexier.

Yeah, he was very cool, man. Really? Oh, man. Sexy guy. Cool guy. Badass. Badass. You know, just a bad motherfucker.

You go, oh, I see why. Yeah. He's that dude. He'd be a decent Bond. He would be fantastic as Bond. Yeah. I kind of want Elba for Bond, man. I want Elba for Bond, too. I want Elba. Look, I usually I want Elba for Bond, too. I want Elba.

Look, I usually hate black people taking white roles. Jesus Christ! Fuck! Spider-Man. They better not do that. Rocky. Fuck that multiverse, dog. I'm just saying, like, Daniel Craig was a sweet-ass Bond.

He was a good Bond. I thought he was great. I like a more seasoned kind of badass. Rocky is a white guy taking a black roll He's a boxer from Philly that should I thought the Wepner wasn't a Chuck Wepner story Rocky What about the mermaid Chuck? We're maids white dude. Yeah, no mermaids are from Syria fuck out of here with that The coast of Africa in Syria, yeah, they're white. In fact, very light-skinned Arabs. Okay, okay. Their call is different.

Yeah, man. Now, the lobsters and crabs, they're black as shit. They're Jamaican. That's the catfish. They're Jamaican. Under the sea.

So, it's always going to be Little Mermaid, L-I-L, Little Mermaid. The flounders? Blacker than hell. Shut up, Joe.

You wouldn't have dark skin if you were underwater. Yeah, I saw that guy. The sun reflects and goes through the water. Fuck you. That's embarrassing. True. He was like, listen, fine. We don't have to put too fine a black.

Although, honestly, anglerfish are definitely black. Your skin would be dark if you were down there. My thing is. Deep sea creatures are translucent. It was wild fucking. Now, he brought up some good points. If Paul Mooney were alive. Uh-oh.

Let me tell you something, Joe. If Paul Mooney were alive, he was like. Dude, it was better than Paul Mooney fucking with Anthony on you guys ever listen to that Paul Mooney

goes on on opening Anthony he fucks with Anthony so bad really like I remember the first time I listened to it I didn't understand

how funny Paul Mooney was he's so god so I was like you know I was a white guy from mechanics where you're like this guy's saying stuff I don't like.

And then you get a little older and you realize he's literally just fucking with Kuvia. Wow. White folks don't want to hear the goddamn truth. They don't want to hear

the goddamn truth. Oh my God. Mermaid, a mermaid can be black. They want it to be a goddamn catfish. Was that? That's a great Paul Mooney. Was that a mermaid? That was a goddamn catfish. That's a great Paul Mooney.

Was that a mermaid? That was a goddamn seal. Goddamn seal. Dude, Paul Mooney was so fucking funny. So funny. I didn't see. With Paul Mooney, there was a lot of the racial stuff

at white people. So I didn't understand it. So I was not in on the joke. But once you know. Once you realize he's being a dick. Right. And he knows he's being funny. Right.

But the thing is. With him and Anthony, like, he knew what he was doing. Dude, I remember. He was fucking with me. You got to know where Anthony was like, oh, shut the fuck up. But you got to know where he came from. These guys came from the 50s, bro. Like, these guys were from the 50s bro like these guys were from the 50s and the

60s when he was legitimately going i used to drink out of colored water fountains yeah i got a problem white people yeah he had people think it was like yeah dude by the time we were around him and richard pryor came from richard pryor's from peoria illinois not that far from chicago shithole he had yeah he had to fucking drink out of they had to go through the back door and shit like that. You ever see that roast of Richard Pryor? It's fantastic. About being gay? He's like, Paul's a

faggot. Really? Paul doesn't suck the dick, Zach. I just wanted to get ahead of it because Paul's the immediate faggot. It's incredible. He's like, I'm gonna say this before he comes up here. Yeah, he got it on him first. It's wild. He goes, I'm going to say this before he comes up here. Yeah, he got it on him first. It's wild.

Remember I did a roast at the Friars Club when I was 21, and Paul Mooney was the roast master. What? And I bombed so hard. I was a kid. I was 21. I shouldn't have been there. But I fucking killed some things.

Oh, you were Jewish, so you were there. You were Jewish? You were already in. I killed an audition to get in there, and they fucking, and then the actual roast, I bombed so fucking hard was it Omarosa Yeah, yeah, Paul Moody's intro for me He goes this next comic said he's a he's a fan of Bill Hicks George Carlin Richard Pryor and Sam Kinison. I knew all of them all dead all close friends of mine

Samorella everybody That's my intro. Wow. Did you wear the sailor hat? I did. Wow. And I went down with the ship hard. It was fucking ugly.

No, Mooney was cool. He was a cool dude. Even though I bombed my dick off, he was still very cool. But you were around some greats. That was fantastic. I remember the first time I met, this is a great story. I remember the first time I met Godfrey. I was in school.

I was at Kutztown University. I was on the student activities board when I was there. And I booked a comedy show. And it was you as the headliner. Because we saw you at NACA. Oh, God, I remember that. The National Association for Campus Activities. show and it was you as the headliner because we saw you at naca oh god okay jason went out bombed his ass off did pop locks and breakdance. And I was talking to Jason and he goes, I don't get it, man. Jason's always fucking kills. In a black club.

But you went up, you crushed and then I was talking to you afterwards because one of your credits in your intro was, it might have been your only credit at the time, was he's the warm-up for the Cosby show. Yeah.

You didn't know that? Eight hours I have to do that shit on Thursdays. Sure. You got a good Bill Cosby. For the second Cosby. Do Bill Cosby. I know you got a good Bill Cosby. Hey, man, you know what you got to do.

I know you got a nice Bill Cosby. You know what you're going to do for it. Nope. I was talking to you outside because I wanted to. I thought that was Bill Cosby. You know what you're going to do for it. I was talking to you outside because I wanted to. I thought that was Bill Cosby. I was so enamored. I was so enamored. Yeah.

And I was like, because I wanted to do comedy. I hadn't figured it out yet. You still haven't. Yeah. I figured it out. Godfrey. I don't like this guy. Yeah, and you did.

I hadn't figured it out. Godfrey. Godfrey. Now you've found your voice. Can you do Cosby talking to young Joe DeRosa? No, listen, listen. I can do Cosby talking to me in his office. This is what I'm getting to.

This is what I'm getting to. This is the story. No, I'm getting to what he's saying. This is the story. Okay, go. I said to you, what was it like? What is Bill Cosby like? And you said, you know what's funny?

People think he doesn't curse. Oh, he does. But he cursed. It was crazy. And then you started doing Cosby cursing, bitching on the set. So please do it. He would do this. First of all, other than all this fuck shit that's been going on, he was genius.

He was genius. I'm not going to say that. Motherfucker. When it came to say knew what they were getting into those girls. Yo, my man, please, please. He would be like, what are you doing? The motherfucker said, and he would do motherfucker. No.

What the fuck are you doing? Like the fuck are you doing? But it didn't feel like a curse. What the fuck are you doing like the fuck but it didn't feel like a curse what the fuck are you doing wow he would slur it like what motherfucker listen you suppose when i come and then you put in that point to put and it's what the fuck and then he would you know of course when the cameras roll he wasn't cursing it was it felt like it was it was the first time i'd ever talked to anybody that worked in actual show business.

And when you were telling me that, I was like, this is it. I felt like I was my own private tabloid. When I lived in Queens, I lived in Queens. That's yeah. It was stay with style.

Call from the story of studio right next door to Sesame street. I live right by there. Didn't fucking know. I remember I'm warming up the crowd. He was like, it's like two, 300 people. So you're talking, you're showing everybody the different parts of the studio. Cause I have to bring Dr. fucking know i i remember i'm warming up the crowd he's like two three hundred people so

you're talking you're showing everybody the different parts of the studio because i have to bring dr cosby out bring cosby out felicia rashad madeline khan the good doctor and another guy pharmacist yeah sanjit chowdhury was a famous indian comedic actor dougie doug i brought him out and and then i saw the lady one of the lady from sesame street like hanging out in the top and i look i go oh this lady from sesame street everyone's like oh my god it's the lady from sesame street i said why are you over here she goes you know we're right next door holy i didn't know and then i see gordon the ball head black dude in the elevator yes i saw kevin whatever and i went and they took me on a tour almost teared the up all hit black dude in the elevator. Oh, motherfucker. Yes. I saw Kevin,

whatever. And I went and they took me on a tour, almost teared the fuck up. It was unbelievable. Wow. They're making the move, doing the puppets. And I was like,

what? It fucks you up. I don't give a fuck who you are. You're going to be like, holy shit. Yeah. It's Kermit the Frog. It's fucking crazy. Yeah.

I met the Kermit laying on the ground. Did you see some of them like the puppets? Yeah. Yeah. And you see snubble up because, you know, Kermit laying on the ground. Then you'd see some of them, like the puppets. Yeah, yeah. And then you'd see Snuffleupagus, you know, on some rigs. Kids would be crying if they see him, like, fucking laid out. That would be a big deal. We did the Nasty Show in Montreal.

Otto and George came down and watching Otto take the puppet apart. And it was disturbing. It was disturbing because he was, like, he was sitting there with the puppet apart and it was disturbing. It was disturbing because he was like, he was sitting there with the puppet across the room and he's like, that crowd fucking sucked, man. Boo.

Whips the head off. Puts it into a trunk. And it goes into a compartment which makes it more upsetting. It's like, here's the head compartment. Joe, you feel like you're in Vaudeville. It was wild. Joe's fucking ancient, bro. You feel like you're in Vaudeville. It was wild.

Joe's fucking ancient, bro. Yeah. Yo, because I remember, because I was there when Cosby's son was murdered. I was working at the time. I was roommates with Mike Epps, and I go, and Leslie Jones. You were roommates with Mike Epps? And Leslie Jones was sleeping on our couch. Wow.

I didn't know her. Just big motherfucker in a couch. I was like, who the fuck is this? That's a huge guest. My next guest, wow, big. Good stuff. That's a big guest. You're going to be a star.

And I was like, yo, and when his son was murdered, I came to the studio. I said, oh, where's Dr. Cosby? Oh, he had an emergency oh okay i didn't know this yet then i go back home and i turn on tv and it's his son his car murder this motherfucker came back a week later and did stand up he did stand up about his the funeral killed murders you know the thing about funerals. No doubt.

Really? He talked about what should we put in the casket. It was fucking dope. And had people crying and laughing, crying and laughing. And he just tosses the mic to me, and I got to follow that shit. Oh, my God. How do you follow that? And then you just keep going, Dr. Cosby, everybody, and just keep going.

You guys ever murder a guy's son? Speaking of murders. Murder? Murder, dude. And then speaking of murders, the Menendez brothers challenged him. They're in the news. I remember when Cosby challenged me one time because I would be on a roll. Sometimes I'd be killing, killing.

And then one day they said, Dr. Cosby wants to come out and do a set. I was like, oh, really? Because he never comes out. They go, he wants to come out. So I was like, oh, really? Because he never comes out. They go, he wants to come out. So I was like, yeah. So he came out, destroyed the place, tossed the mic to me and said, follow that. Wow. And walked away.

I said, I love this shit. I brought his punk ass out. He was that. I was only four years into comedy. Wow. I was fine. I was like, what am I going to do? I have to work.

I have to keep going. I have to keep talking to the audience. But he told me to follow that shit. But because he was hearing me, he would hear me. I would be killing, dude. Oh, he'd be in the green room just like this guy. He's like. I bet you can't stay awake.

I'm about to knock this kid the fuck out. And you could walk into his office and talk to him. He was cool as fuck like that. And I remember walking to his office. I said, hey, his office i said hey uh and he had his cigar man it was all cosby i remember explaining this to pete correale when it happened the day it happened i saw pete after that and i was he was just had a cigar you know he was like hey how you doing you know and i said yeah i just you know some advice you know i don't know what the fuck. I said, your advice, I've been doing it for you. He said, and I remember, he goes, writing.

You've been doing it four years at that point? Four years. He goes, writing. You got to write, son. You got to write. You got to put it on the paper. I remember this shit. You got to write, man.

Boom, boom. He goes, you know, Sinbad, he knocks it out the park. Sinbad, he loves Sinbad. Sinbad's fucking funny. The baddest mom. Really? Sinbad doesn't get the respect he deserves. I like Sinbad. Sinbad's a Sinbad Sinbad's fucking funny The baddest mom Really Sinbad doesn't get the respect I like Sinbad Sinbad's

Black Dan Cook Eh Sinbad's better than that No no I'm saying as far as Disrespect goes That a guy that does kill I love Sinbad

I love Sinbad There's a guy that murders No one says Dan Cook I love Sinbad By the way Dan Cook His presence was incredible His presence I loved his half hour

His presence and half hour Dan Cook's first half hour Dan Cook's first half-hour. Dane Cook wants to come on here. Dane Cook's confidential percentage. Dane Cook wants to come on this pod. When he goes... I would love to have Dane Cook. That's incredible.

When he goes... I love Dane. I thought it was dope when he came into the camera. When he goes to the aliens, when he goes to the aliens, there was a wet and shit and he dumps the whole fucking bottle

of water in his head and he starts doing the fucking alien. I was like... I loved it. This fucking guy is so fucking... And then he starts doing the fucking alien. I was like, I loved it. This fucking guy is so fucking... And then he had a tank top on. He said, fuck a suit. Fuck it. He had a tank top on. Then he jumps in the camera. What's the movie with Arnold

and Sinbad? It's amazing. Turboman. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah. Yes. Jingle All The Way. Jingle All The Way. Classic. Great movie. Arnold and Sinbad. The Dane joke in the half hour when he goes, when you were talking, he goes, waiting on the line of DMV.

Yeah. He goes, you're all just waiting there, and he's doing, like, all the shit you do when you wait. And he goes, but we're all thinking the same thing. Go! Are you telling somebody else's funny story again? Jesus Christ, that joke is so funny. I got one.

Do you want a slap, dude? Please, dude. You need a slap? Do you need a slap? Are you guys trying to get bald again? Do you need a slap? Oh, boy. First time I saw DeRosa.

Uh-oh. Please, dude. What are we talking, OTB? Yeah, first time DeRosa, yeah. Jenny Craig. No, first time I saw DeRosa. That's all I could get one. No, Zach?

Take it easy, dude. I don't want to say one mean thing in podcast but Gotham Gotham Gotham Comedy Club it was a benefit and

it was a terrible show I was in the audience this is like the first comedy show I've seen maybe it was a terrible show Joe was doing great no but he was killing I found it very funny

hold on dude I think there's a comic a compliment coming it is it is a compliment you were bombing but you didn't deserve to bomb you weren't doing well and you were talking very funny. Hold on, dude. I think there's a comic. I got a compliment coming. It is. It is a compliment. Joel Hassan DeRosa. You were bombing, but you didn't deserve to bomb.

You weren't doing well and you were talking about your ex-girlfriend. You said, I already feel bad about the breakup. Now I got to feel bad about the breakup jokes.

And I was like, that's just such a funny line. Yeah. DeRosa's a damn genius. DeRosa, we love DeRosa. You were constructing a joke, bro. And he saw that.

It hit scaffolding over here. We got to get you to do comedy again. We'd love to have you. You know what you do? I'm still doing it. You're not. You know what you reminded me of? When you said, yo, just calm down.

There's a fucking video of Richard Pryor shitting on Milton Berle. Oh, wow. He's going like this, man, shut your ass up. Goddamn. This motherfucker here, shit. Oh, my God. God. Milton Berle goes, Pick your spots, baby.

Pick your spots. He's fucking getting pissed. Really? That was a fucking, pick your spots, man. That Pryor was fucking next level. Dude, when Pryor was, did you see the Pryor

when he's in drugs outside? Yes, yes. And the guy's like, what do you think about Charlie Chapman? That motherfucker didn't say shit. Fuck him. Shit, goddamn. That's the one where they go

what's it like we're going to Gene Wilder and he's like I'm not going to say it what's it like with Gene Wilder he says Gene Wilder is an F that motherfucker is an F give us some impressions you can do

that we haven't heard I know you can do that we haven't heard. Because I know you can do everybody. I can't do everybody. You can do a lot. No. He does a mean Paul Mercurio, but no one knows who that is. Hey, what about the black guy? Paul is an 80s bully.

By the way, that's a very good joke. If you fuck with my girlfriend again, you'll be wearing your nose in the back of your head. Just get out of here. Dragons, move. Hey, hold on. That's my entire act. You're just doing a white guy. Hey, hold on. That's my entire head. You're just doing a white guy. Hey, hold on a second.

That's exactly what I did. That's the white guy. That's the 80s white guy. Give us another that we haven't heard. Because you do so many good impressions. You got a good Trump. Your Trump's good. Oh, fuck.

Can we do a Trump off? No, we're not doing a Trump off. Trump off. Trump off. We're supposed to do a Trump thing. I'd do it. I've never heard not doing Trump off. Trump off. He's supposed to do a Trump thing. I'd do it. I've never heard yours. Very good.

Very good. Oh, yeah. It's very good. There's a lot of guys doing... A lot of people doing me. You're a very good impersonator. He's nice at it. It's not bad.

No, Jamie. Joe DeRosa, what a pig. Disgusting pig. I would love to put the country on your shoulders, but Joe, it might slide off. I'm a very good comedian. I could be a comedian. A lot of guys say Joe's built like a worm. I don't say that.

But Joe is built like a worm. I don't say that. But Joe is built like a worm. He looks like the men in black aliens grew up. Mike Turner. Mike Turner. Very good. Very good. That was incredible. We did it.

That's the only impression I have. We can still do something visually it would be nice to do a white and black trump it would be fire it'd be nice to just can we do it two dudes that watch trump enough that they adopted it and then our lives like just us going to a store yeah i'd like uh mintull Do you have Mint Skull? I would like Detergent Tide is the best I need the pods We could do

paint on the street type shit That's Joe Why do they I'm blanking on the guy's name He's on Fuck He's on Twitter But

J.L. Colvin J.L. Colvin J.L. Colvin does a nice Trump Bob De Bono He's a funny guy J.L. a nice Trump. Bob De Bono. He's a funny guy. J.O. does some great impressions. Bob De Bono's is nasty. Oh, his is good, too.

Bob De Bono? Excellent. I'm not sure who that one is. Bob De Bono. The video where he responds to Jamie Foxx doing the Donald Trump impression, and he responds to that Donald Trump, and he goes, he was in a show called In Living Colored. I know you can't say that anymore.

In Living Colored. That's hilarious. And he goes, the white guy was the funniest. I know we can't say that. That's awesome. Because I know Jamie started doing that. It was Jim Carrey. And everyone sent me a thing.

Yo, Jamie Foxx doing Trump. I go, I don't give a fuck. Are you buddies with Jamie Foxx? Not at all. But do you know him at all? I know Jamie. I opened up for Jamie in Indianapolis. What do you mean not at all? I mean, I just don give a fuck. Are you buddies with Jamie Foxx? Not at all. But do you know him at all? I know Jamie. I opened up for Jamie in Indianapolis. What do you mean not at all?

I mean, I just don't hang with him like that. I know him, but I know I'm not his best friend. But you're friendly. Yeah. Good for you. I'm quick to be like, yeah, me and him are best friends. I've talked to him twice. No, not Jamie.

The last time I saw Jamie was on talk to twice, I'm like, yeah, we're good friends. The last time I saw Jamie was on the set of Law-Abiding Citizen, because I'm good friends with Gerard Butler. So Butler called me. It's Philly. They shot it in Philly. Law-Abiding Citizen. And Gerard's like, yo, come down, man.

Hang out. So I came down, and I saw Jamie on the set, and that was about it. Gerard is cool as shit, right? Unbelievable. He's the nicest dude in the world. How did you not get in any given Sunday? You have some football background i mean i wasn't a baseball really doing shit do you do do you do a denzel uh-oh all right i saw the twinkle in the eye denzel is my favorite impression of all time there's a guy named C King was that the guy who was doing it on he's dreads he's

un-fucking-believable his his Denzel it's like you close your eyes you go motherfucker but that's his best one everything else he tries to do Steve Harvey but he's trying to copy mine which I get what you have Steve Harvey Steve always goes I'm gonna whoop your ass

boy dude you know what was a rough one for me? I do Nate Diaz. He got me. Who's Nate Diaz? Who? He's a UFC fighter. Me and him went out to dinner.

You guys are buddies, though, right? Yeah, but we went out to dinner. Nate Diaz, do him. Yeah, we've talked twice. We're best friends. We went out to dinner, and he was like, I don't sound like that. Oh, damn. For real.

Genuinely, I was like, yeah, you're right. Meanwhile, people are like, dude, that's for real. I had Shannon Sharp. I was on a podcast with Shannon Sharp. You got Skip, listen, Skip. I'm going to tell you right now, Skip. I've been in the NFL for a long time, Skip. And my grandmother always said, if you a frog, you better jump, Skip.

But I do it. And he was on a podcast with me. And the dude was like, yo, God, will you do a fucking Shannon Sharp? I was like, God damn it. And then Skip was like. Don't make me do it, man. He was on the podcast with me. And the dude was like, yo, Godfrey, you do a fucking shanshan. I was like, God damn it. And then Skip was like, you know, I used to get mad at the time when people used to imitate me. But now I see once you at a certain level, that means you're famous now. That means, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. That fucker warms up with 250.

Have you seen that shit? But you had to do him in front of him. I did him on a podcast, like on an audio thing. And he was cool to you? He was cool as fuck. Dude, getting drunk and having a coffee coming up. I'd be like, do it, do Denzel. You do a Denzel.

I'm like, what is this, David Frost legs? Turn it on me. I'm complimenting you. You do a Denzel, I'm like, what is this? David Frost legs? Turn it on me. You do a Denzel, don't you? You do look like a dead frog spread out. You look like about to be dissected frog. You know who started Denzel?

It was Dean Edwards. Who was first doing Denzel. I never thought about doing Denzel. Then I saw Dean do it. I go, oh, wow. He found nuances of Denzel going, yeah, all right, all right. You know, that whole shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so I was like, fuck. So I came up with my own. But it was more like a subtle Denzel. I was like, all right, so what are we going to do, huh? Is that what you're doing? Everybody in here, huh? So that's where I got mine from Dean. Dean was the one

that set it off. Who was the guy on Comic View that did it as his set? Comic View? There was a dude that did it as his set. Black guy right? There was a... No. Big Jay Oakerson. Rich Boss.

Boss? Jason Andor? Who's the dude who did Poppy on BET? Poppy. He's like, Poppy's never going to tell on you. Poppy will be like, no, no, that's none of my business. Now, obviously, that's not how it went. What the fuck is going on? I thought you guys would know.

I thought you guys were students of the game. I didn't know you were making sandwiches and gave up. Yo, how's your bar? Why are you going so hard, dude? You've been hard to deal with. Why are you going so hard, dog? I'll be honest. I did eject and I tried to put it on you.

Yo, is bar in Canada? I apologize. You closed your bar? No, I was open. That was great. The bar's open. I thought you shut down after you said you made sandwiches and gave up. No, I was just being mean because my story sucked.

So I tried to blame it on him. My favorite Denzel is the equalizer two when he's at the kitchen table with the guy that plays Mandalorian. And the phone rings and he goes, tell me it's not true. Tell me it's not true. And he knows he caught the guy that he killed that day. That was a good man equalizers I mean so give no please Hey knock it off dude, he's ready crushed. I don't like these are building scenarios like I literally made sure Godfrey was the last guest cuz I knew he would energize us and

I literally made sure Godfrey was the last guest because I knew he would energize us you guys are ready to go I knew we'd be fucked up I was trying to book guests and I was like Godfrey's gonna come with fucking cause I'm undrunk you're undrunk and you're at the cellar all the time I knew you'd come and it would be fucking pure

I'm at the cellar because I got shit to do during the day what are you doing during the day there's auditions all the time. They always got me tap dancing for that. I gotta be like, I told you! Fuck that! So you'll

dance for that, but you won't give me a little dance out right now. You motherfucker! We're friends! I just gave you something! A little subtle dance out! I remember everybody was doing Christopher Walken. Yeah, that was big. I remember everybody was doing Christopher Walken. Yeah, that was big.

Like, Jay Moore was doing it. A lot of people were doing it. I said, can I do Christopher Walken? I don't know. Then I was, and I watch, everybody has this, you know, a man. Everyone's doing that shit. Then I was listening to Christopher Walken. Okay, he's from New York City.

So I was just very, like, subtle. Like, you know, comedy, very difficult. You know? I've always wanted to do stand up but I'm scared yeah so I got it how about Nicholson can you do Jack Nicholson no I don't do Jack who else can you do man Jack was like such a mainstay

of every happy everybody would be like hey hey, hold on. Hey, folks. Turn around, put on glasses. I'm Jack Nicholson. They would always turn around and go.

You know what? It might be hack. By the way, the whole crowd would be like, holy shit, that's him. I can't believe Jack's here in Harrisburg at the

Conner's. It never didn't put a smile on my face. I love movies, so like a Nicholson hack impression, I was like, yeah, why not? It's wonderful. It's fun. I had a great joke about that. I love movies, so a Nicholson hack impression, I was like, yeah, why not? Yeah, it's wonderful. It's fun.

I had a great joke about that where he goes, I am one of the 10 men in America that does not do a Jack Nicholson. Actually, that sounded like Jack Nicholson. I remember Byron Allen with Comics Unleashed. You ever watch? He's in a big lawsuit right now. He won. He won?

He won against McDonald's. He won. Hell yeah. He fucking won. By the way, this is basically Byron Allen. We're like, all right, so you know. No, wait, wait, wait. No, this is what I'm going to tell you.

So my first Comics Unleashed 2006 was with Dennis Miller. And Byron goes, yo, God godfrey i got dennis miller okay cool dennis i love dennis miller his off-white album is my favorite album so i was like uh cool he goes and people like yeah be careful he's like a right wing i don't give a he's a comic man who gives a he was the nicest man he loves comics he loves comedians so we're standing we're all we're sitting next to each other. We're laughing. Everybody's having fun.

And he goes, hey, Byron, you want to make this a little more carny? Huh? Hey, I heard you like dogs. Go. He was fucking with him because they know each other,

but it was fucking hilarious. Then he's like, we're talking. Then he gives me his number. He said, anytime you need some advice, blah, blah, blah. So I leave a message for him say mr miller thanks for being cool so i used to have you know how i used to put like sounds on a voicemail you know how you put shit

you know i'm not here right now leave a message you know shit like that oh yeah definitely i did that he left he left a message it was around christmas. He goes, hey, cha-cha. I guess that was Bruce Lee. Nice. Merry Christmas, Dennis Miller. Bam. Wow. Coolest shit ever.

I kept it for years. I met him once. I did a show. He took over Larry King's old weird interview show, and it was me. And I was kind of so starstruck that I was just off. I sucked. Really? Because he was just so nice. Yeah, he is.

Yeah. Okay, babe. Ugh. Ugh. Easy babe that was weird yeah that's a very gentle that was weird that hurt you got a deep tissue on that hurt dude hurt give me some dead jelly you're doing you're doing wingnut left wing fucking Dennis Miller impressions right now. They're not even in your repertoire.

You won't give me a little fucking. Easy, Joe. You're going to pop an artery. You look like you're in the middle of your act. You won't give me any of that, too. I just gave it to you. I've never seen this worked out. Give me some more.

I don't want more. Like you. You're pulling shoes. You know what I tried at Christopher Walken once? I did it. I gave you a piece and and I tried a Christopher Walken once. I did it. I gave you a piece and it's a wrap. Son of a bitch. You're my damn nurse.

I'm tired of you, Joe. You're bugging me. You're bugging me. You dumb Godfrey bugger. I'm tired of your passion, Joe. You dumb passion. Tired of your talk show legs. Godfrey bugged me with his dumb radio show.

Joe, stop it with your talk show legs. Jim Norton would be like, ew, I hate you. You're the worst. Look at your legs. I woke up to a voicemail from Guy Robinson once 10 years ago. I see it on my phone.

I listen to it 10 a.m. He goes, I'm just sitting here thinking about your dumb face. I'm going to drive up to Harlem and knock your fucking teeth out. We always do that. We'll send messages to each other. Knock your teeth out. We'll send messages to each other.

We just go, hey, Joe, yuck. But you call me. You call me. You call me. I was on a road trip. I was driving my car back from – I bought a Bronco in L.A. and I was driving it across country back to New York. Beautiful car, by the way. Old school Broncos?

The new Bronco. The new one, but it looks old school. But I bought it and I was driving it back from L.A. to New York and I was driving through – I dipped all through it. I was driving through Nashville and you all through, and I was driving through Nashville and you called me when I was in Nashville and you go, hey, stupid,

where are you? I'll tell you what, I'm walking out of a nice racist cracker barrel. It makes me feel good in my heart right now. I should tell him what you really are. He's one of those Egyptians. We were laughing so hard.

You and Dante called me. I was walking out. Yeah, it was awesome. I was literally walking out of a Cracker Barrel. Two of the most militant brothers are like, where you at, bro? Cracker Barrel. Walking right out of a Cracker Barrel. Not bad.

If you're on the road, they're not bad. Oh, no, I would go there. My mother would take me to all that shit. Chicken fried steak is solid. Fuck. I heard the breakfast is fantastic. It's very good.

I haven't had it in so long. It's been so long, too. I went in for breakfast and I got potatoes with the sausage gravy and I got fried chicken as well. Hey, you got fried chicken? It was very good.

Way to save it. Vitor and I, Vitor is such a food snob. I forgot you were here. I know. Shut up. Vitor will always... Dude, we were in... Where were we?

Buffalo, and Vitor... We got fucking takeout oysters. The dumbest decision of our lives. You want to sit down and eat that? It was, they ordered, we ordered the food and then they didn't have the app that we wanted. And then the waitress took it upon herself for the, at the club. It was like, oh, they should like oysters.

So I look at it. I'm like, oh, we can't eat that shit. That's not even on ice. And Vito goes, shut up. We're fine. So Vito eats them. And I'm that idiot where I'm like, yeah, I'll fuck it. I'll eat it.

So I did too. Vito gets off stage. He goes, I can't stop bur can't i was fucking up my entire set it was brutal i was burping and everything that's good take out oysters bro oh dude we had yeah from buffalo we were slurping it out of the show i figured they wouldn't know no home box and it's a go box i figured they wouldn't allow it if it was gonna be bad yeah if you didn't need it i never would it should be on the ice, man, and you sit down and eat that shit. Yeah, we realized that. The fact that we only had

vicious diarrhea. Put it in a plastic bag. We got so lucky. Yeah. We didn't feel well for it. I didn't feel well for it. The oysters were terrible. Yeah, it did not feel good, but. On the road trying to. Oh, oyster. That's wild. No, never again. We got lucky that we only had diarrhea out of that shit.

Did diarrhea hit you on stage? Next day. No, yeah, it was next day. Diarrhea never hits on stage. Stage health. Whatever reason, your shit about it. Something about the stage where shit shuts down. Yeah, you can't fart.

You ever have that? Your shit goes whoop. You can't fart. It's like your body knows. But five seconds before you're cold, you might shit your pants. Oh, then you have to shit. Well, everyone takes like a dump before. It's like the adrenaline dump. It's amazing. You don't even have to your pants. Then you have to shit. Well, I shit. Everyone takes like a dump before. It's like an adrenaline dump.

It's amazing. But you don't even have to eat anything. You just go, boom. Then you're ready to fucking go. Take 10 tiny dick pisses. Yeah. I hate those little dick pisses. Little dick piss.

Little dick piss. Disgusting diarrhea. Yeah, spit something out. You can fart on stage in between. You can never fart on stage. I can fart a little bit. I've walked a little bit on a fart. You can fart on stage. I've never farted on can fart a little bit I've walked a little bit on stage You can fart on stage

That's why you're a psycho dude I shit straight Michael farted in the mic Yeah I love farting Wait you farted in the mic? Yeah Wow Me and my friends have always talked about this

Like that's the best Are you farting in the mic? Holy shit It's almost impossible What? I've done it on Rogan with you Farts can happen No but I mean like on stage

You did it in front of people? You just said, burp? Oh, no, but I'm farting up there while talking about Jews. That's crazy. You're like a girl. That's not nice. Like quietly farting. Did you practice?

Did you practice all the- Could you get hit by practice? I mean, I'm just saying, it might not be practice. Yeah, we took jump shots. Let's give Mark a shot of whiskey. Two jumpers, you bastard. Three shots of whiskey. Pistol cheat.

One shot of whiskey from Mark. One, two, three. shots of whiskey. Pistol cheap. One shot of whiskey for Mark. One, two, three. Four. You guys are worn out. You guys are... For everybody. All the Deuxa has left is to order shots. You're getting married in one month?

Fuck. I love you. I thought you were doing it here in New York. Is it Louisiana? Yeah. You're getting fucking married, bro. I don't want you. Really?

When? I am wasted right now. October? Are you not? I'm pretty good. I'm going to buzz. What day is that? Saturday or something?

I love you, Joe. I'm going to do the comics so I can still do the road. Maybe. Yo, you know, I'm going to look. Fuck. He's getting married. That's why I got married in New York, just so I could freaking. Yeah, that was a great wedding.

People wouldn't have to fly. So that was considerate. Godfrey, will you do a shot? Yeah, man. I did a... Do half a glass. What's it called? The cinnamon one?

The fireball? Fireball. I've done that before. Can you get Godfrey one too? Godfrey's going to do a shot. Whoa! Shut up! I've never seen you shoot.

I knew you'd say something. I just saw you warming up. Godfrey, will you do some type of funny impression while you do the shot? As we toast to Norman, will you do some sort of... Hey, man, why don't you do Christopher Walken? No, I didn't want Christopher Walken. I wanted Denzel. Can you do Trump?

No, I didn't say that. We've got a lot of gay guys here. Hold on, my shot's too small. My shot's too small. That was for your own good. We've got a lot of straight guys, too. Pretty straight of them. Pretty straight.

John, what do you got? Cosby for Norman? I could do Norm MacDonald. Norm MacDonald. I did a show with Norm. I did a future. Norm MacDonald toasting Norman. You'd either catch

Shaved Norm Drunk Or bearded Norm Sober Or bearded Norm Drunk I would catch him And he goes

Yeah I got him man I saw you up there man You're talented man You know He's like You're really Really funny He's like

You ever do SNL You ever do SNL I go no He goes fuck them He goes they fuck them. He goes, they hate me. NBC hates me, man. Yeah.

He called me and hit me with that. He was like. Really? Yeah, I thought, you know. He was like, comedy, I thought. Not a lot of guys in comedy anymore. You know what he means. Yeah, yeah. You know what he means.

Exactly. For real, I thought it was crazy. Pussified. It's been pussified. Sean O'Connor was opening for him, and I was in Atlanta, and I was going to interview Sean O'Connor. It's Bodega Cat. You got that right. It's the hit new whiskey.

It's Bodega Cat? It's their whiskey. It's your whiskey? Yeah, we're selling it. You have a whiskey? We have a whiskey. Look at that. He didn't even know it was theirs he said that wasn't so bad yeah meanwhile

there's always a cat in a bodega it's a good whiskey i don't care what you're doing we love joe wrong on this one incredibly well yeah it was's like alright well it's Mark so shut up hey it'd be nice it'd be nice meanwhile I love Joe Roon Joe Roon's the greatest of all time we all love Rogan

but he's wrong on this one you guys really cut my story out and I'm like yeah what's your story no no no I'm not saying that to like tell the story I'm saying like

ah shit alright nobody wanted to hear this story is Joe on camera yeah we want to hear your story I don't want him to be we're not using this camera right I don't want my sloth hey we want to hear this. Is Joe on camera? Yeah, we want to hear your story. I don't want him to be. We're not using this camera, right?

I don't want my sloth. Hey, we want to hear your story. You know what I like about Joe DeRosa? Joe, yeah, very funny. He's got the best stories. Every time I see Joe DeRosa,

I'm like, oh. We love DeRosa. Yeah, Joe. It's going to be a great story. You're the best. You're one of my favorite dudes, DeRosa.

Everybody thinks you're the best. Everybody loves you, Joe. dudes, DeRosa. Everybody thinks you're the best. Everybody loves you, JoJo. Everybody loves you. Wow. This is pure drunk love at this point. Everybody loves you.

Pure drunk love. I'd say Mark probably has the most friends out of anybody here. Mark has a lot of friends. Yeah, which is weird because he doesn't like anyone. Exactly.

He doesn't. But he has a lot of friends. Everybody's sponsored by Mark. Snide remarks. I do love a snide remark. I watch a lot of their videos. Really? Oh, I'm always watching.

You're the one. I watch yours. Do you have a lot of clips? I don't. You watch my videos? I watch your clips when you're in the suit. No, you don't. I watch you going live sometimes, and I'm like, I hope he doesn't see this.

I hope he doesn't see me. I love your videos. I think you're funny. All I do is just try to go with the flow. I get on live. I just try to do it. You know, if you're not on a hit show and you're not selling out within weeks, you got to do this shit. Yeah, right.

You know, I'm one of those guys that everybody's on fucking podcasts going, what the fuck? How is Godfrey not? What the fuck's going on? Yeah. So I got to use. You should be doing more podcasts. Look at, Jesus Christ, you can't hear. Everybody was like, go, go, go, you go.

And you speak movies. Shut up. That's what I was like before you got here. We were sitting here, we were going, Gary. But then you know what? You know what's fucked up, though? Stories and impressions. But you know what's fucked up?

Is people, when you have, you know people in positions, they don't bring you in. They don't, they just don't do it. And I know a lot of people in, and they just kind of, nah. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like I can do a lot of voices. And my buddy from high school, my fucking high school teammate created Dexter's Laboratory. Gendy Tartoski. Yeah, Gendy Tartoski. That's my, from 16. I know him since we were teammates, high school teammate created Dexter's Laboratory. Gendy Tartoski. Yeah, Gendy Tartoski.

That's my boy from 16. I know him since we were teammates, high school. He did, he's Transylvania. He's Powerpuff Girls. He's Samurai Jack. He's doing Popeye. He was doing Popeye.

I don't know if it's happening. But yeah, that's my high school buddy. I've never done a voiceover for him though. Damn. I don't ask, but I just never did a voiceover. De, though. I don't ask, but I've just never done a voiceover. DeRosa's never asked me to come down and make a fucking sandwich. Yeah, you're like stingy.

You want to talk shit, dude? I'm sorry. Vitor's actually voicing Bubbles on Powerpuff Girls this year. Pretty awkward. I'd love it. Hey, shut up over Yeah, motherfucker. Yeah, motherfucker. I'd love it. Hey, shut up over there,

dude. Yeah, Samurai Jack and Clone Wars. He did all that. He does so much. He's an animator. He's like,

I mean, I remember when he was. Oh, dude, let's get on Clone Wars. Let's get on Clone Wars. Get this guy on. Get this guy to get us

on Clone Wars. Dude, let's get on Clone Wars. Where's paper going on Clone Wars? Why you fucking with me, fatty dude? Oh, shit. For real, why you call me fat? Your fucking gigantic, beautiful jugs jiggle.

You've been here like six hours now? Yeah, yeah. Shit. We had a headburn. We've had everybody. Headburn. Yeah, he was here. Me and Mitch Hedberg. We've had everybody. Crazy Hedberg. Yeah, he was here. Me and Mitch Hedberg did New Faces in Montreal.

Me and him were the last two guys at this horrible showcase at the Comedy Nest in Montreal. And it's just me and Hedberg. Everybody's bomb. It's fucking horrible. And I'm the last. I'm just coming from Chicago. And Hedberg is long hair. He's like, hey, how you doing, man? What's your name? I said, ah, Godfrey. He's like, oh, Mitch. Mitch Chicago and Hedberg is long hair. He's like, hey, how you doing, man?

What's your name? I said, ah, Godfrey. He's like, oh, Mitch, Mitch, Mitch Hedberg. I said, oh, cool. He's like, I'm going after you. I said, I'm going after you. I said, oh, cool. So everybody's bombing.

I go up. I'm used to killing and shit with my goofy shit. I did OK. I did decent. Didn't do what I wanted to do. I was like, ugh, that that motherfucker murder because no one had ever seen that style before right he was just down there like this he was different he never looked up he just was like yeah so oh i just want to say it was just like what the fuck that's how

i knew mitch for a while i knew mitch since 98 wow and that's why he always showed me love he's like god man what's up man hey man and then when I saw him when he was limping when he was doing the heroin shit I saw him at CVS in LA

like some not too long before he passed away I saw him limping yeah it's weird where's he from Minneapolis Minneapolis

yeah for some reason so when I started I knew this dude in Florida that was like he claimed he was a manager of his and he was like when I talked to him that was like, he claimed he was a manager of his.

And he was like, when I talked to him, I was like, man, you got to stop doing these drugs. He was like, you think the Beatles came up with Sgt. Pepper Sober? I was like, all right, good comeback. Keep going. I think it was more than just the drugs. That was me quoting somebody else that was funnier than me. That's all your stories, you bitch ass. I feel like Michael Jordan might have pulled it off.

You're lucky I don't titty fuck you, dude. I might titty fuck you, dude. I told you that. We used to do comedy for Mike. Yeah. When I started in Chicago. I'm sorry. I love you.

It was me, Bernie Mac. Bernie Mac had an open- This guy used to do comedy for MJ. Yeah. For Michael Jordan? Jackson. It was when I was just like, my first two years in comedy was me,

Dion Cole, D-Ray Davis, Corey Holcomb. It was all the Chicago guys. And you know, Common would be there. I knew Kanye for a long time. And a lot of,

it's all Chicago people. White Lives Matter. Yeah, yeah. Do you still talk to Kanye? I know what you guys are. Last time I saw him was a few years ago. I remember when he got his jaw shut, his thing.

And then they brought his video to my house in Harlem before they released it. Have you seen the documentary? Isn't D-Ray in the video? My buddy Cootie did it. He's from Chicago. Oh, yeah. That was great. Cootie's a filmmaker.

I'm sorry to cut. Isn't D-Ray the one in the video? Without an arm, I spit. Right. Through the wire? the wire through the wire yeah they brought that to my place before they released it

they said yo you gotta check out this video we're about to release I said well bring it I was on a to great song to Lennox they brought it

I said oh that's gonna be dope it's so Chicago blah blah blah and then um we used to do open mics Bernie Mac had a variety show at the Cotton Club on South Side

Top Five and so we would go there Top Five. And so we would go there. Top five. Bernie top five. We would go there and, you know. He is a legend. Bernie top five. Yeah.

And then Michael would come because the Bulls were winning at the time. So it would be Michael, Scottie Pippen, who was a dick the whole time. See, before Larsa Pippen was dating Michael's son. Yeah. Pippen was always kind of mean. Scottie's ex-wife is banging Michael Jordan's son. That's crazy. That does suck for Scottie. Jordan was always Scotty's ex-wife is banging Michael Jordan's son. That's crazy. It does suck for Jordan.

Jordan. Jordan was Jordan was Jordan was always cool right now. Jordan was cool. I met him a few times and they're not on good terms. So it does suck for Scotty. We go. Yeah. That was that was right in the middle of that.

Scotty. Scotty. Scotty's top 50. Scotty's and Bernie were like Scotty. And whenever they when they won their second championship they were going who you with because bernie would say hey motherfucker who you with and so jordan would go who you with it was like it was god for you the best nba players larry bird no pistol pistol pete maravich. Pistol Pete. Louisiana. Oh, was he from Louisiana? Oh, yeah.

Louisiana, baby. Oh, wow. Look at that, dude. I think Bob Cousy. Fuck that. How about that underhand? White people invented the no-look pass. No, dude, I would say... Now, the slam dunk? I'll be honest. That was you guys.

Of course. The no-look pass was when they were like, I don't want to look at the black guy. Let me just give it to him. I can't face him. That was in the 50s. It was actually a racial thing. They didn't want to look at the black guy, so he just threw it without looking from his peripheral.

You do, Denzel. That's almost like, okay, you please. Well, you guys lost, Dylan. Shut up! You do, Denzel. Well, you guys lost. Shut up! Dude Denzel talking about the Nova Pass. God damn it. I did it already. Shut up.

God damn it, Godfrey. Dude Denzel. Stupid. Dude Denzel. Stupid. I love his. I love Joe DeRosa fucking Robinson. Joe DeRobinson.

You're Joe DeRobinson. He's like, dude, they're crazy. He's like, keep me on earth here. He's Joe DeRobinson. I fucking, I'm Joe Robinson. You're Joe Robinson. You're like, dude, they drive me on earth here. He's Joe Robinson. I fucking love it, dude. Yo, you're Joe Robinson. Good fun.

Good fun. I'm so glad you didn't bail. I was so pumped Shane was coming. I was always going to bail. Joe Robinson, he goes like this, dude, they drive me.

Joe Robinson. You're the best black player. You're the best black player of all time. Tim Duncan, dude in jail. Joe DeRobinson. You know who the best black player of all time? Tim Duncan, dude. Fundamentals. He passed. Bo Jackson. He played all the sports. I would say Dennis.

What is it? Wolfberg. Dennis Rodman. No, no. Dennis fucking the other guy from the Boston Celtics. Schroeder? Dennis Johnson? Dennis Johnson? Dennis Johnson.

We talk about basic, just never fancy. Fuck it. What's his name from the Pistons? Dumas? Isaiah Thomas. The white dude from the Pistons. Bill Lambert. That's you, man.

Shout out to Bill Lambert. You should do a Bill Lambert. He just elbowed, motherfucker. Dude, I had Lambert. You're like the White Hammer. Dude, I had a sports show Gary sucked he just elbowed motherfucker dude I had Lambeer he was like the white hammer they were like alright dude dude I had he's white charging

I used to have a sports show on the Knicks network and Lambeer was a guest and we had Phil Lambeer's goat we had such a shit budget that Vito was on that episode

that's how shit the budget was we our budget our budget was so bad that we couldn't get a second guest so we literally switched people out

while Lambeer was on the panel and Lambeer turned to me after the episode goes did you trick me into doing two episodes and I said I'm sorry

and he goes respect he like he respected that I fucking caught him how big is this guy he look big seven feet

he's a unit by the way and he can shoot it I gotta get a Bill Lambeer Notre Dame he went to Notre Dame did he go to Dame monster he's a great he he can shoot I gotta get a Bill Ambeer Notre Dame he went to Notre Dame did he go to Dame monster he was such a nice guy

white guy seven foot he was a mountain obviously he was good at basketball he played he could shoot at three too

they were like these are the bad boys of the NBA literally all he did was foul the shit out of us I love the documentary that doc is fire that was awesome

the pistons they made Jordan better the bad boys pistons with Mahorn I love the documentary. That doc is fire. That was awesome. The Pistons. They made Jordan better, actually. The bad boy Pistons with Mahorn and Isaiah Thomas. Dumas and... No, no, wait a minute. It's John Sally, who was a good friend of mine. John Sally. Biggest penis, Lisa Ann said.

John Sally. The porn star? Yeah. She said he had the biggest dick she's ever seen. Well, he matches his height. Yeah. Fun fact. John Sally, he's a yoga guy. Dennis his height. Yeah. Fun fact. John Sally.

He's a yoga guy. Dennis Rodman. Ah. Rodman was the chef. I've seen Rodman. At some party. There was a microwave. Vinnie Johnson.

You microwave with the threes. Nasty. Yeah. All right. Let's go back to Bill M. Beer and how great he was. Basketball is a shit, dude. That's the beat. Dude.

Dennis Rodman. I think Rodman is trying to get Griner out of jail. We love basketball. You guys switched. He's trying's trying because for some reason he went to north jews love to be uh baseball we used to fucking badass the nolan ryan doc on Netflix is, I love him. What a good guy. Same girl, same wife. Just a regular dude with a fucking heater. And then Bo Jackson charged the mound and he said, I'll never be.

Not Bo Jackson. Sorry. No, it was Robert Ventura. Robin Ventura. Yeah. Charged the mound. He can't. He hesitated.

Bo Jackson charged that mound. Nolan Ryan's dead. He's dead. I Jackson charged that man. Nolan Ryan's dead. He's dead meat. I'm sorry to say. Somebody charged him out and he goes, that was a mistake. I'll never be the non-aggressor. Bo Jackson hit a home run off of Nolan Ryan. Robert Ventura charged him out and Nolan Ryan beat the shit out of him.

He probably gunned it in his head the next time. Yeah, Bo Jackson broke bats on his leg and his head. Bo Jackson's the biggest freak in sport. Remember when he ran up the wall? There you are, Gary. He ran up the wall. He ran up the fucking wall, dude. I know.

I realized that could be perceived as bad. What did you say? Bo Jackson was the biggest freak in sports. Oh, don't be racist. I know. That's fucked up, dude. He's one of my favorites. But Deion Sanders was kind of a freak, too.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Playing baseball and football. Have you seen Deion Sanders was kind of a freak too. Playing baseball and football. Have you seen Deion lately with Jackson State? No. It's pretty fun. He's like, I'm going to tell y'all right now. I love him. I can do that.

I'm going to tell y'all right now. We got to win. You got to have that attitude. Don't disappoint your mama or your daddy. Or me. He's like very like. Prime time. I'm Deion Sanders. You guys are lucky to like. Prime time. I'm Deion Sanders.

You guys are lucky to be here. People thought I was Deion Sanders. They thought I looked like him. I used to say, people used to come up and say, yo, Deion Sanders. I'm like, come on, man. Nah, that's pretty good. What the fuck am I doing here with you? I apologize for that.

That's actually pretty nice. You get Deion. No, I love that. Deion's the. His son's the quarterback of the team, too. His son's the quarterback? Yeah. Deion Sanders is the quarterback? For Jackson State, right? Does he have the speed of his father? I don't know, but his son's the quarterback of the team, too. His son's the quarterback? Yeah. For Jackson State, right?

Does he have the speed of his father? I don't know, but his son's the quarterback, freshman quarterback, and he starts. But Deion got his toes, like two toes amputated. Oh, is he a diabetic? I don't know. You know what was nice? Watching that You documentary where they were like, everybody that went to Florida State was a fucking preppy pussy.

All the You guys were like, fuck Deion Sanders, that fucking sellout. And Deion was just like gold chains, like, fuck those pussies. He hung out with MC Hammer. Deion rules. Deion does the shit. Deion was fantastic. Ran a 4.1. Get the fuck out of here.

He was fast as shit. I remember people didn't believe it. They didn't believe he ran a 4.140. Then he goes, I'm going to do this shit one more time. I'm doing a podcast with Julian Edelman right now. Damn, 4-1. I hated his perfect routes. Oh, he rules.

Hey, that's just good white route running. He's like Steve Largent. He's Jewish. He's the coolest guy you'll ever meet. And on top of it, it's hilarious the amount of respect he gets versus what the guests look at me as. Literally, Kurt Warner looked at me like, you disgust me. You should have told him his movies. Really, Kurt Warner?

I knew he would not like me, so I doubled down and kept making Jackoff jokes. And every cut to him is just like. He didn't like you. Why didn't he like you? Isn't Kurt Warner worked in a grocery store? Yeah, he did. Yeah, but he's also religious and he's a good person. Yeah, they made like a Christian movie recently.

Ay-yi-yi. Yeah. But Julian's the fucking man. He's cool. He's the greatest show on turf. Yeah, he's a Jew. But Julian's the fucking man. He's a great dude.

Tori Holt was blessed with white God. Isaac Bruce. Isaac Bruce. Isaac Bruce. Turns out Isaac the Bruce. Ricky Prohl. He's a wide receiver. Marshall Falk was blessed with white God. Marshall Falk was the nastiest running back I ever watched.

Really? I mean, just live. That dude was on another level. He just burned dudes. I like Peter Falk. Barry Sanders. Barry Sanders, too, for sure. All right, who do you think the best?

Top five whites. Go ahead. What, football? Hitler. Anything? No, no, sports. Oh, sorry. What happened?

Top five whites. Larry Bird. Top five whites? Oh, wait, in what? In what? Gretzky? In everything. In Gretzky?

He's up there. You had Gretzky, Babe Ruth. You had Bjorn Borg Novak's up there Jake LaMotta American whites Oh American You gotta pick Randy Johnson

No you just pick a sport first Yeah but you gotta pick a white that like stays a honky Jack Lambert Jack Lambert That Jack Lambert? That's white as fuck. Yeah, Bradshaw. Bradshaw?

Bruce Jenner was pretty good. How about Joe Namath? He's even better now. Joe Namath is a little flashy. I'm talking like Brett Favre-White. Taking people's money from the poor. Brett Favre is in some deep shit. He's fucked.

He fucked himself. He fucked that. And he had money. I mean, if we're going boxing, Tyson Fury. But he's the greatest white of all time. British. Greatest is white. The greatest heavyweight of all time.

Well, that's when Italians were considered white. They weren't considered white at first. Every time we talk about boxing, we're going to bring him off here. We're going to bring him off here. We're right on the head. Rocky Marciano? Tyson Fury. I'm talking about white, white. Jack Dempsey.

Jack Dempsey. Lou Furpo. What? No flair. I'm talking white. No flair? Randy Johnson. He's one of the greatest boxers ever, yeah, but he was Italian. I don't know if he's super white, though. Italians are Mediterranean.

Oh, that's a good one. I'm talking white, white. But he's considered white compared to a black guy, yeah. If we were talking racism, I said, no, no, he's Italian. Italians were categorized as white after a while. When they got to Ellis Island, they looked like they were from India. Go watch the Ken Burns PBS Italian-American, and you'll see what the fuck they look like. Shout out to Ken Burns.

Ken Burns, baby. I know his daughter, Lily Burns. Italian counts as white. Lily Burns, they married to the fucking line producer of Louis Fernandez, Tony Hernandez. The new Ken Burns Holocaust doc. Shout out, Ken Burns. Is it dope? You guys, get him. Is it dope? You guys get him.

Is it good? That's a good one. Pete Rose is one of the great whites. Pete Rose is one of the great whites. Pete Rose is actually a good call. Who should be in the Hall of Fame? Now, then we're talking like Ric Flair. No, no, no.

How about Randy Savage? Yeah. That's a good one. I got Ty Cobb. My psychiatrist said I'm OCD. One cool dude. Yeah got Ty Cobb. My psychiatrist said I'm OCD. One cool dude. Yeah, brother, yeah. You don't understand what the red is saying.

If you're going to talk wrestling, why it's greatest of all time. Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan is the next level. Hulk Hogan is the Britney Spears of wrestling. I've met Hulk Hogan when just the... Hulk took it to the next level. Hulk Hogan is the Britney Spears of wrestling. I met Hulk Hogan when Shaq was wrestling.

I was doing a show with Shaq. And he said, you want to meet Hulk Hogan? I said, yeah. He's like, you know, I'm wrestling now. And we meet Hulk Hogan. And we do a little sketch. And he's like, what's up, brother?

How you doing, Godfrey? It was fucking amazing. Me, Shaq, and fucking hulk hogan you got jack godfrey what shack oh shack oh shack dm jack's wall facetimes me every other week do denzel before you do another ancillary very impregnated. For the love of God. Shaq likes to, let me try and call him. This is better pizza. Better pizza. That would be good for Sam's thing. You're taking requests

and you want to do Denzel. He doesn't want to do Denzel. Dude, shut up. Man, shut the fuck up, man. He's trying to get into a movie with him. That's how he's doing Chicago. Man, shut the fuck up.

Yeah, bitch. When you do it like that, even if someone's talking to you, man, shut the fuck up, man. We got to wrap this up. This has been a fun time. No, we don't. Oh, we got

dinner reservations. Whoa. I think one more shot for you guys. You got to come to dinner then. No. We've been here

for four hours drinking. You've been here. We've been here longer than that. No, I got here before you did. No, DeRosa was our first guest.

Jesus Christ. We've been here for four hours drinking. DeRosa was the first guest. Jesus Christ. We've been here for four hours. DeRosa was the first surprise. One more shot before we go. One more shot before we go. I think we should do one more shot. One more.

One more. I don't know if I could. God, you can do one more. But you've got to play the real American Hulk Hogan song while we do the shot. So Sam, we're going to hold Hulk's stick? I am a real American. You're the greatest. He has to work, right? You're the best. Are you coming to dinner? Oh, yeah. I'm going to drive you guys. You're the greatest. He has to work.

You're the best. Are you coming to dinner? Oh, yeah. I'm going to drive you guys. You're the best. We'll pay for parking. I mean, when we get over there. Shut up.

I got to go home. Shut up, dude. Unfortunately. First off, I love all you guys for coming out. This has been a special out. Is it under TDS? No, it's good. Hey, hey, hey.

Give him a full one. Y-G-O-K. Before we wrap up, can I make one quick toast? Godfrey, everybody, can we make one quick toast? Okay. Oh, my God, dude. I don't know how I'm going to get through it. It's going to be great.

I made it. All right. First off, Matt Peters, thank you for helping put this all together. Great producer. Second off to Mark Norman, who we love and who's getting married soon. Hey, good. Hey, Mark. We all love you. Mark, great choice. Thanks for having me, guys.

Hey, great choice, Mark. And you're all here. Honestly, you're all here because we love all of you. So thank you so much. You guys are part of this. And Mark, great comedians. We're so happy that this could come together. We love you, buddy.

Awesome comics, man. I'll see you all in hell. We love all you guys. You guys are the great whites of comedy. As a black man saying it to y'all. Can I please be the Bill Lambert of whites? Oh my God!

Enough, Joe! He doesn't want to do it! Thanks for listening, guys, and thanks for coming. We might be drunk to be for listening, guys. And thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. We might be drunk. We might be drunk. We might be drunk.

We might be drunk. We might be drunk. We might be drunk. We might be drunk. We might be drunk. We might be drunk. We might be drunk. We might be drunk.

We might be drunk. We might be drunk. We might be drunk. Yeah, you're welcome. Comedy. Sunday's the day for my next offender. A bit of Piverec. You know the future's close.

I've had a little too much bourbon. And Norman's talking shit about the fucking post. And I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like a cop's coming. And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way.

And I get down in the same way We might be drunk