We Might Be Drunk - Ep 103: Fortune Feimster

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

Good Fortune on today's episode with Fortune Feimster. Mark Normand: http://marknormandcomedy.com/ Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/shows Fortune Feimster: https://www.fortunefeimster.com/ Support the show by going to sheathunderwear.com & use promo code DRUNK to get 20% off your first order. Visit https://www.ounceofhope.com and use code DRUNK for 20% off your first order. https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com/shop https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod http://www.bodegacatspirits.com

He's an animal. Did you do any shows with him? You did Bert. I did some Bert. Fully loaded. There's the sweater. Yeah. That's right.

He just asked us to do the cruise and we got to make a decision. Yeah. Cruise, really? Our health can handle a cruise with Bert Kreischer. It's only four days, but it's, you know, Bert four days. That's wild. I didn't know he was doing a cruise. Oh, yeah.

He's an animal. We just did Red Rocks again. He just doesn't stop. Yeah, he doesn't stop. Do you ever stop? You're like, I need a... Are you not going to tour until you have a full new act? No, I got to come up with stuff by the end of January.

Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. It's tough. But I took five months. I did an acting gig in Toronto. Yeah, it's with The Rock, right? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Whoa. Arnold Schwarzenegger? The White Rock. Yeah. Was he cool? He was awesome. He seems cool. He's really cool, yeah.

Legend. Yeah, yeah. And he's still pretty. He was pre-Rock. He was an original rock. Yeah, exactly. Years ago, she said that she was his trainer like lied to him just to like talk to him oh he's like are you my partner and he's like she's like yeah it's me she's like this five

foot five he's like okay let's go he has every woman of uh there his partner uh so you just bought an umbrella it's i mean this is not, we all have curly hair. This is not curly hair weather raining outside. Because of the rain. Brutal. Yeah, I just, I never buy, that's like my thing. I never buy an umbrella. Me neither. I can't do it.

You're a true New Yorker. I just, I do this. I do one of those. There you go. I don't want to look like a poodle. Do you like coming to New York? Wait, are we on? Oh, yeah.

Oh, is this on? Let's introduce Fortune. Her new Netflix special is streaming now. Good Fortune on Netflix. Fortune Feimster. Hey. Thanks for joining us. Good to have you.

Are we drunk yet? We're working on it. This is our whiskey bodega cat we told you about. Jamie, what's up, girl? Oh, yeah. Y'all got your own whiskey set. Oh, yeah. You better believe it, sister.

And you're a whiskey drinker. I love whiskey. Whiskey, bourbon, because I'm from the South. That's what we do. Yeah. Yeah. It'll rise again. Oh, my God.

Joking. I'm joking. You stop. This is sober, Mark. I know, right? That'd be a good blue chew tagline. It'll rise again. Okay.

Blue chew is an erection pill. Oh, is it? I wasn't familiar. You should have delivered that one to me. I'm not familiar with erection pills. I'm the one who's having problems. Yeah, this is, we're doing, Jamie, tell us what we're doing.

We've never done this, and our partner, Chris Hart, our whiskey partner, has given us a lot of shit for never drinking one of these. His favorite cocktail is a whiskey sour. This is a spin on that. Yeah, it's the New York sour.

So what the difference is, is that it has a float of dry red wine on top. I've heard about those. Oh. It's like the sweet and the dry. We're classy. I love it. Holy moly. Putting some red wine in that.

All right. I've never tried this. I'm nervous. This is exciting. It's not great. Red wine on whiskey? It's worth it. It's supposed to be good.

I'll try it. Don't knock it until you try it. I'll try it, but it sounds like something a real alcoholic would do. Put these two together. That's how most good drinks were created. That's true. You ran out of ingredients and you just threw it in. You got to just figure it out.

And that's your whiskey. What's it called? Bodega Cat Whiskey. Bodega Cat. At bodegacatwhiskey.com, folks. Is it flying off the shelf? It's flying. All right, guys.

Killing it. Y'all are entrepreneurs. Oh, yeah. Oh, there it is. There it is. Bodega Cat Straight Rye. I like my rye gay. Is old-fashioned your favorite cocktail?

Yeah, old-fashioned is probably my drinking choice. Nice. But I like a whiskey sour as well. Yes. You might be our first lesbian. Yeah? I think on the show. No.

Really? Who else? Really? Mark's like. Damn. You may be right. First lesbian. As a gay.

All right. You know, it's like. How do you guys feel? I feel good. Feels good. All right. Good. Good to have you.

I feel good too. Is your other right. Good. Good to have you. I feel good, too. Your other special is Sweet and Salty on Netflix. Yeah. And you did the half hour. Yep. And this is the first one since Sweet and Salty. Yeah. Sweet and Salty came out January of 2020.

Yeah. Not much else happened that year. Yeah. That's a good time to have a special come out. Yeah. Well, at the time, it felt like such a bummer. I was like, oh, I can't go tour. But then everyone was at home.

So it was nice because not nice being home because of the pandemic, but more people watched it, I think, because they were just chilling at home. Totally. And you went to the Capitol. Oh, my God. I almost went, yeah. You slide those in there. Effortlessly that I was almost like, yeah, I did.

Wait, what? It's a good gig. Who books that? So, yeah, this is the follow-up to Sweet and Salty. Nice. No fortune cookie. That's what I thought you were going to go with, Fortune Cookie. I went with Good Fortune.

That's better. I couldn't think of a name, and I was like, well, I got this. It's hard. It's a lot of pressure. Because you want the pun kind of, right? I always kind of want the pun in there, too. Yeah, I kept tossing around. We would send possible titles, and they were like, no.

So, you know, because Netflix has to agree too do they really? yeah they have to or at least where I'm at they like to sign off I mean if I really love something I think I could oh thank you I think if I really love something you know we could make it work

oh thank you JMO cheers alright mmm it tastes like Oh, thank you, JMO. Cheers. Hey, Mazel. It tastes like a whiskey sangria. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of nice. Kind of nice.

Very good. Yeah, that red wine is what cuts it because it's like there's a sweetness in there from the simple syrup and obviously you got the sour and then that's like. I like that. Yeah, you can use like a zim but it's better to use dry wine it takes a second but i'm i'm growing it's growing on me yeah yeah i think i got too much red wine me too i got a lot of red wine in here in the picture you want more of that straight whiskey you know sometimes there's egg white used oh it cuts some of the

red wine a little bit i do do like the multicolor. Okay. When you add it to the shaker. But during a podcast, we're not doing egg whites here. I think that's why it needs a little more bold light. Yeah. I see. Well, no, it's very good. It is red wine forward.

Well, we could switch the next round. Maybe we could do something else. All right. Oh, I don't think Sam likes it. I mean, it's good, but it's not my favorite whiskey. We have all these ingredients here. Yeah. Right.

It's good. Well, now Christopher Hart's going to kill himself. Sorry, Chris. He mentioned it. He got recommended, right? Yeah, yeah. That means we're partners on Bodega Cat. Do you guys drink different things that people recommend?

We'll take recommendations. Yeah. We love Rex. We're open-minded. I haven't had this before, so why not? Yeah. I know. I'm happy we're having it. I had an old-fashioned before the show.

Yeah, that's a good drink. You could also just do a regular and not have the New York style. A regular whiskey sour? That's just not without the wine. I could do that. Oh, well, get those ready to go. Because this is going down.

This might be too delicate of a drink for you two strong strapping guys. Yeah, this is a little dainty. I've never been called stronger strapping in my life, so I'll take it. I'm going to strap on. This sweatshirt's fooling people. Ironically, a Burt Kreischer sweatshirt is making me look better. Birdie boy.

Yeah, you look fit. Really? Yeah. I'll take it. You do. I'll take it, man. Itie boy. Yeah. Yeah. You look fit. Really? Yeah. I'll take it. You do. I'll take it, man. It's a fitted hoodie. It is.

It helps. I meant the H&M one. If the clothes, if they just fit well, I don't need anything nice. I just want the fit. Same. Same. I got short arms, too. So I have a weird body.

So I have to get everything tailored. You do? I never noticed your arms. They don't look short. But when you put a new jacket on, it's flopping off the end like a magnum. Yeah.

You know, so. Why are you delivering all your dick jokes to her? You're giving them to me. I have the dick here. He really wants me to get on board with these dick jokes.

Are you a gold star gay? I'm a gold star, yeah. What is gold star gay mean? That means I've never slept with a dude. Wow. Me neither. Nice. This guy. Yeah, that's a gold star yeah what is gold star gaming i mean i've never slept with a dude wow nice this guy yeah that's a gold star lesbian they've never i've never heard of that

why is it called gold star i don't know because you're a soldier in the army never that's was it was there ever a moment where you were attracted to men or not at all um i find men attractive for sure but i've just never had that like vibe you know i i think because i'm around guys a lot with comedy i have two older brothers so we immediately everyone has that kind of bro vibe like high five thing yeah uh that we just never it was never that thing you know i like you're literally on a drinking podcast we're like yeah this we're the reason she doesn't like men yeah guys like us but that makes no that makes no but it's not like i i'm not like one of those lesbians that's like oh the guy's gross yeah uh i like guys a lot but we but like they're not thinking of me that way

and i'm not thinking of them that way but I do find men attractive for sure Interesting. Really? Wow, but the dick is that's where the rubber meets the road. Yeah You know, cause then you're like, ah, I gotta play with that thing. I don't want any part of that. The vagina is objectively better looking than the penis. Yeah Yeah, I think so. For sure. It just is. My friend growing up was like I might might be gay. And we're like, oh, all right, whatever, you know, go nuts. And then. Literally. And then he said he kissed a guy.

And right when he felt the stubble, he was like, I'm not gay. Oh, interesting. And that's what got him. He's like, it was just a. I commend him for trying, though. Yeah, sure. We were all behind him. I mean, not literally.

Last week we were practicing. We had a sex teacher come in who teaches cunnilingus. We did a bachelor party episode for Mark last week. And a woman taught us cunnilingus on melons. And Joe DeRosa was watching Mark and I lick the melons. And he said, you know, the stubble, it turns me on a little bit. Oh, wow. It was a weird moment.

It was weird. I forgot about that. Did you guys learn anything? We learned Joe's gay. Jeez, I forgot all about that. I think I blocked that out. Yikes. Oh, I learned that that melon was wet as hell when I was done with it.

That's how you know women are nicer than men. I know girls who have taken blowjob classes. Oh, yeah. But do you know any guy who's taken a... We didn't know it existed. I kind of was thrown at Peter as our producer here. I was like, what are good bachelor party activities? And that was one of them.

Yeah. I think it's great that you guys wanted to learn some skills. Yeah. I'm clueless down there. Yeah. You could teach a master class, I'm sure. I'd like to think I could. Really? Maybe. Yeah. I'm clueless down there. Yeah. You could teach a master class, I'm sure. I'd like to think I could.

Really? Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you have the equipment, you have more experience with it,

you know, so. Yeah. I've heard that sucking the clit is the move. Oh. Isn't that what she said? Or no?

Maybe she did say that, but that's what Nikki Graves always told me. We should not have had an instructor come on while we were getting blackout drunk. Yeah. That's true. That did not stick.

Any of that stuff. I love the melon. Yeah. I guess, yeah, that's maybe the closest thing. Well, you slice it in half. It works. It is a valley in there. Now every time you do that, you're like, it doesn't taste like melon.

It's so confusing. Oh, no, it does not. And I hate cantaloupe. Yeah. So that was tough for me. I was licking it. I'd rather lick a stranger's vagina than a cantaloupe. Ugh.

I hate cantaloupe. Sometimes licking a stranger's vagina can be very nice. That's true. I think cantaloupe, least favorite fruit than honeydew. Yeah. What about you? What's the difference between cantaloupe? Wait.

Cantaloupe's the orange one. Honeydew's for you. Oh, yeah. You don difference between cantaloupe? Wait. Cantaloupe's the orange one. Honeydew's green. Oh, yeah. You don't like cantaloupe? That's what you're doing it on. I hate it. The texture? I don't like the taste. Yeah. Honeydew is good. You get a soft honeydew. That could be a fucking... That's a good melon. There they are right there. I feel like it's a waste of a melon.

Wait till you're old. You'll like it for some reason. Oh, really? It just seems like an elderly food. That's true. There's that vagina. You're pregnant. What are your cravings right now? Fruit. Definitely fruit. Oh, you're pregnant? Hey, Grant. It's okay. She's drinking though. She's not keeping it. Who's the father? I think DeStefano.

He just finds his way to Puerto Rican women. I didn't even sleep with him. I just gave him a hug. DeStefano started a third podcast. Yeah. he did. Now I have to pay for it. But the honeydew, to me, honeydew has no flavor. It's like if I get a fruit salad and it's cantaloupe and honeydew, I'm furious. Yeah, honeydew doesn't have a lot of flavor.

What are your road snacks? I mean, if it were up to me, it'd be all fatty stuff, you know, like Doritos and Snickers. But my wife has laid the hammer down. It's more like carrots and hummus. Oh, come on, wife. Cashews, things like that. That's like my rider, basically. I do like chips and salsa.

Oh, yeah. That's fun. Yeah. Never gets old. Love chips and salsa. Yeah. That's the problem with the rider though everything you like like i have beef jerky because growing up we never had beef jerky it was like

6.99 for a bag of it yeah so we never had it so i put on my rider and now i'm like ah jerky and you but you get tired of it yeah i find that you have to switch up the rider yes otherwise it gets old my agent put natural wine in my rider so natural wine yeah so i don't because we drank it one night she's like this is great this should be in your rider and i was like yeah shit i was drunk and now every club i get to like we have your natural wine i'm like sorry diva sorry about that and then if i don't drink it they're like thanks yeah a lot of times i'm not even hungry because you forget that right that stuff's even to be there. And then the person's like, I looked everywhere for these

type of cashews or whatever. And you're like, I'm not actually very hungry. I'm so sorry. Yeah, it's true. My openers, I try to use guys who need a gig and they just pocket all my ridership. Oh, there you go. That's the best when you do gigs and you get snacks out of it. Oh, yeah.

We used to take all amy's stuff oh shuma would have a sick rider it was good amy has good taste in scotch which is like lagavulin in there we were like this is like high-end shit she's doing those big shows so that's some good uh treats back there it was just a spread of like fruit and meats and cheeses and all that shit and you know we were young comics we were eating dollar pizza so having like a havarti was like whoa shit yeah i'm like chips and salsa guys yeah did you ever hear about i forgot what i think it was one of the florida clubs eddie griffin's demands yeah he gets the air force ones you've heard this right he gets he needs a new

all-white air force one for every show and after every set he takes them and dumps them in an ice bucket so no one else can wear them and then i guess the guy i talked to at the club who ran the club was like yeah you know so i i told him i was like oh we couldn't find a fourth pair so i'll i'll go out and get it tomorrow he's like wait they send you to get it and he was like yeah and he's like don't don't do it it's all good and he's like yeah someone has to get that that didn't occur to you that someone's day is it? And he was like, yeah. And he's like, don't do it. It's all good. And he's like, someone has to get that. Someone's got to get it. That didn't occur to you that someone's day is ruined?

Yeah. When he was face to face with the person, he changed his mind. At least like nuts in a ride. Or it's like, that's fuel. Maybe you didn't eat before. I have like basic shit too, coffee. But the wine thing I get is douchey. I might remove it.

Well, natural wine for sure. It's douchey. That's a bit douchey. Although if you go to like Burlington or Portland, they're like, we have a special store. And they're like, you know, but if, yeah, but if you're in like, you know, Orlando, they're like, fuck you. Rightfully. I deserve it.

They're like, all wine's natural. It's grapes. What the fuck? It's Florida. You were just, he was just in Orlando. That's like the toughest flight. I think that's the worst flight because of all the kids. Oh, right. he was just in orlando that's like the toughest flight i think that's the worst flight because of all the kids oh right it's all 97 year olds you know on dialysis and like you know a kid yeah who's just screaming the whole time next to you yeah the disney years on and they're running up

and down the aisle it was it was brutal yeah i stayed in the airport hotel because i had a show the next day i had to leave for it like 6 a.m and and it was all Disneyland people coming in. I know. In my hotel, the walls were paper thin. I could hear the kids fighting over some game and I wanted to be like,

let the other kid play. I wanted to chime in because I heard every piece of dialogue. It's brutal. Oh my God. What's your favorite cities to perform in?

I love like Nashville, Dallas, Chicago. Oh yeah um all the major cities yeah well i did like uh i had a great show in like mobile alabama oh really i had never performed there that crowd was incredible chattanooga places like that really surprised me like the people were so pumped wichichita, that was a cool show. Nice. I think places where entertainment isn't as frequent. I mean, they have stuff, sure. Yeah.

But, like, it's just, it's not like L.A. or New York where it's, like, every second. Where they're jaded. Yeah. Right. There's, like, entertainment. Every corner, someone's like, come into this show right now. Yeah. And you're like, please, I don't.

Yeah. So, it feels like more of a night out, I guess, for everybody. So they're pumped. Oh, yeah. Plus, I started my tour June of last summer. So people were just kind of coming back out of their houses. And the energy was insane. Yeah.

That was the coolest, getting back on the road. The best. It was emotional. Yeah. It was crazy. I know. I never thought I'd feel that way touring. This is great. yeah that was like the coolest getting back on the road the best it was like emotional yeah crazy i know i never thought i'd feel that way touring this is great it felt like the audience liked comedy as much as we like it yeah the first time yeah i always feel like i'm bothering them yeah because i barked you know so when you bark you just assume everyone hates stand-up right

because they don't want to come in you know but then they were like which club did you i barked for the village lantern not even a club i did that one a few times but i that was i was always actually stayed away from there it was almost too close to the cellar yeah i wanted i was more uptown you know right i that room i took some of the worst bombs in my life oh really i mean just humiliated but you had to bark to get stage time yeah yeah but it was worth it was worth it. You weren't doing mics. It was kind of worth it at the time. In LA, you just had to bring friends to shows.

They just had to pay for the shows, and they'd let you do time. They have that here, too. But the barking, it's such a dense New York City thing. LA is too spread out for barking. It's such a New York city. No one's walking. They're on their cars running you over. You have to go on the 405 and be like, with those cones, go to this show. Because there's walking. Yeah. They're on their cars like running you over. You have to go on the 405 and be like with those cones.

Go to this show. Because there's no one. Yeah, there's no foot traffic. Yeah. I think it's something Mark says all the time on this podcast about how he thinks the best comedy clubs are blue cities and red states because you get the combination. And, you know, in your special Sweet and Salty, you talk about being a progressive and stuff. But, you know, you're sweet and salty like you talk about being a progressive and stuff but you know you're from north carolina yeah do you think that's that combination makes you like you just understand the south in a way that yeah i mean i'm from there my whole family lives there

but you know i'm gay so and i live in los angeles no Mark is crazy. But so I have like this duality, you know, where it's like I still talk to, you know, a bunch of friends from home and have family there. So I get that mentality of what's happened, you know, what the South is, you know, red in certain areas and blue in certain areas. But, you know, if my other extended family members have different political beliefs i'm not like shutting it down yeah i don't agree with it but we're not like not family because suddenly we don't agree on politics they don't agree with my stuff i don't agree with theirs but we find common ground because we're family yeah so you're an entertainer and you're good at that i mean that is like one of the great things about entertainment is like you know you become you do the road as a comic you find ways to connect with people yeah no matter what yeah i mean you know i

also don't do politics and stuff in my comedy because they're way more people that know what they're talking about more than me you know so why am I going to bring that to the table? So I do the thing that I grew up seeing, which was storytelling. And that's a big part of the South. I was always seeing a lot of people in my family and other like crazy neighbors telling stories. You just listen to people talk forever. And I just kind of picked that up, I think. So my stand-up ends up just being that

and I feel like the south much like New York has a lot of characters my uncle's a fucking nut bag yeah people that you don't think are real people and you try to describe them and you're like I can't even describe you because it feels so

bizarre that it seems like I'm making up a caricature of a person. I do that all the time on the road. I'll do like too many subway character stories in a row. And I'm like, they're not going to believe this shit's real. But they're real. They're real, yeah. There are some crazy characters back home and especially growing up.

But anytime I've ever tried to describe those people, people are like, I don't know. I can't relate to this story. And then'm all like you had to be there i think the people like progressive people who have uh right-wing parents are the most open-minded people i find because a lot of people who are super progressive like anybody who's republican you're dead to me fuck you and you're like you're progressive you're open-minded like you're dead to me, fuck you. And you're like, you're progressive? You're open-minded? That's not inclusive. Right. You know?

So I think that was... Well, they literally had to accept people. Yes, exactly. Who they disagree with. Yeah. You know, there's something about it. Like, you know, you go on Twitter and shit, and people are so divisive. And then we go out to our shows. I know there are people that came to see us.

But you're like, man, it's like, people are cool are cool people are chill i'll even hang out with them after the show sometimes i was hanging out after the show in lexington kentucky over the weekend with some people who came out and they were just really down to earth yeah they're human beings no i know but it's like yeah once you get off the internet you connect but you connect with people a lot better but people spend so much much time on there that I think they forget that people are basically pretty good. Right. And, you know, we went to the racetrack in Kentucky and it was fun. It was like little Keeneland, all the little kids in their blazers.

It's hilarious. You know, they're all big hats. It's like the fucking stock market in Kentucky. Everyone's just yelling like, go, go, go. It's the redneck stock market. Kentucky. Everyone's just yelling like, go, go, go, go. You know, but. It's the redneck stock market. You're right. That was my opener.

I said, everyone, I'm the worst dressed person here. I'm the only one in like a villain in Django Unchained. But they dress so well there. It's a cool scene. I mean, Lexington, Kentucky is a great city to visit. You know how they go, like they always say like, oh, you're racist because you had never hung out with black. You weren't exposed to black people it's the same with political if you're not exposed to other political affiliated people you're gonna just assume oh they're just

like punching women who are trying to go into planned parenthood you know it's not all that it's it's a mix it's some that it's some of that but i think everybody has like a little bit of differences but 86 of us are the same we all eat we shit we get horny we want to get drunk we have anxiety our parents are annoying but then we focus on like oh you you believe in god you're an idiot you know and it it's it divides us but we have so much more in common than we have different the 14 is like the extremes on both sides. Right. Both can be pretty fucking annoying. Oh, God, yes.

But how good athletes are your older siblings? All three of us played sports year round. Yeah. So we were pretty sporty. I was not much of a swimmer. I was talking about that. I know that bit. That's why I was thinking of that.

Yeah, but my middle brother was an amazing swimmer, like Olympic bound at one point. Wow. My oldest brother was a really great tennis player and baseball player, soccer player. I played soccer, basketball, softball. Wow. I played tennis and soccer in college. Jesus. So I love sports, yeah.

Holy moly. Tennis is probably my best sport which is funny because i don't look like a tennis player at all but i it's you can play i can play yeah when i moved to la i played in a league with just like one other woman and all men yeah yeah i loved it if i was gonna play pick up a sport i'd want to pick up tennis. Yeah. It's a classy game. It's classy. You're out there. You can play forever, too. But now everyone's into pickleball. I've not played that yet. Everybody's talking about pickleball.

Can you pull up? I don't even know what it looks like. I know LeBron and Raymond Green just invested in it. People are obsessed with it. It's a wooden paddle, right? It's a smaller court. And it's loud, though. It makes a like poof, poof, poof sound.

I don't even know what it looks like, honestly. And yeah, I don't know what kind of... Is it not a wiffle ball? I think it is a wiffle. Is it? It's a wiffle ball with a wooden paddle, I think. You can't escape Ryan Reynolds. Huh?

He's everywhere. What's he promoting now? I think Aviator Gin. No, he sold it. See, it's smaller, the court. Weird. And it's got that hollow sound. Yeah, you can it. Oh. See, it's smaller, the court. Weird. And it's got that hollow sound. Yeah, you can hear the pedal.

Apparently, people have been building their own pickleball courts, and their neighbors are getting pissed because it's so loud. It is loud, yeah. Because tennis doesn't have that. You can hear tennis, but not that same sound. Wow. So it looks like it's kind of more of a net game. Yeah, it's like ping pong when it's standing on the table.

I remember in college they had racquetball in one of the gyms, so I played a little. I was like, man, this is a really fun game. I get why people are into this. Big, yeah. I remember Wall Street. They all played racquetball or squash. They're all very close to each other. I know.

This game, this is for children and old people. I don't know. I think I want to stick with tennis. Yeah, this is for disabled people. This is pathetic. These guys aren't old, are they? No. I see people playing this at my gym as me and a bunch of old people.

They all died once Cuomo, you know. But it's all, this is what they play play because the ball takes so long to travel. It doesn't look like you can hit it as hard. No. That's what I see. That's what I love about tennis is the speed you can put. Yes. Yes.

An adult sport. I love it when guys serve like a hundred something miles an hour. That's my favorite. I like the grunt. Because then you hit it. You hit back on their speed and then your ball flies right back at them. Yeah. It's pretty great. It just seems cool. Federer just seems so

cool too. I really enjoyed his farewell and the hand holding with Nadal. Yeah, it was heavy. It was really a special moment. Nadal is such a hot man. He is a hot man. I mean like Federer is good looking. Pull up Nadal and he's got the bad hairline.

Well, that's just happened recently. Oh, okay. But he used to have a- Pull up his arms, dude. Are you kidding me? He used to have a big, full head of hair. It's thinning out. He's probably the best on the planet, I'd say.

Whoa, his arms. Look at that. That's what I mean, dude. But I love seeing them get so emotional with each other with Federer retiring. Oh, yeah. They were like, held hands at one point, cried together. He gave Federer the hardest time. I know, but they were like besties in real life apparently.

Tennis is like the number one sport for me that I don't seek out. But if I come across it on TV, I'm glued to the TV. Yeah. Look at that. These guys hit. When you see it in person, it's so. They hit so hard. Oh, look at that.

If that didn't make you too gay, I don't know what will. I want those jeans off now. Yes. I mean, that is a pretty erotic picture. He's been a bad boy. Jamie, what do you think? You're a heterosexual lady. Yeah, Jamie, what do you think?

It's trying too hard. I mean, that's a sexy photo, though. Just like look at it, you know? It really is sexy. It is a, that's a sexy photo. Just like look at it. It really is sexy. I've never seen that one before. Oh, God. See, I can find them attractive. I mean, that's a lot.

Look at that. I mean, look, he's got it. Why not? Go for it. Yeah, yeah. All right. I was wrong. All right.

Well, guess we're all gay now. You turned us. I knew it would happen. part a couple of whiskey wines i was worried it was contagious fuck damn i never knew he did underwear dang hot tamale oh and pulling it down in the back a little teaser okay is he a spaniard he is from spain oh nice i see one of them spaniards yeah the thing about louisiana comes out oh you ruled i'm coming up soon there jamo i'm still nurse i'm still nursing man oh nurse it yeah i'm coming up soon if we keep looking at these photos right here

any sport where it's one-on-one i watch i i prefer yeah mma tennis because it's all on you you know in team sports a lot of the time the best player just gets blamed anyway right so there is something kind of cool about you being like, yeah, it was my fault. Exactly. It was my fault. Yeah, I sucked today. It's why improv isn't fun to watch. You know?

I'm like, I don't want team. I want to stand up. Give me one person up there fighting for their life. Yeah. But I do love, like, I mean, I'm such a big basketball fan. I do love that they have to find ways to work together. No, that's fucking great. You like the teamwork. Who's your team? I'm a diehard Knicks fan.

Knicks fan, yeah. How about you? I don't really follow basketball too much. I like the college sports. I mean, Carolina. Who's your Carolina team? UNC. Oh, nice. That's a nice team to root for. Is that the Baby Blue? Yeah. Tar Heels.

Uh-huh. Tar Heel. What the hell is a Tar Heel? It't it's probably not great i don't know let's hope it's not a slur oh i don't really know what it is all right uh it says over there uh a rose and hero attire implied they worked in a lowly hold Hold on, go left. A lowly trade. So it's like a blue-collar person. Oh, Carolina soldiers. Flipped the meaning of the term.

I don't really know. Oh, all right. So they made it positive. That's the problem with the South. You're like, let's not look up the history. Let's not learn about this. I just like the basketball team, but I don't want to dig

too much into it. Someone will eventually write a letter and that'll go away. Oh no. I'm sure. Tar Heel is a derogatory term in both race and class. It's coming. But then the mascot is a

What is it? It's a guy in blackface, I think. No. That's true. Guys. Hey, folks. When you want a smooth high that you know is made right here in the U.S. of A, look no further than Ounce of Hope.

Based out of Memphis, Tennessee, Ounce of Hope is your one-stop shop for Delta 88, Delta-9, and CBD edibles, oils, and more. I use this stuff every night literally to go to sleep. I love it. It's not too high. You don't want to go into some edible coma where you can't see straight. You don't know when you're going to die, and you're panicking any time the phone rings. This stuff is just the right amount.

It's just perfect. It helps me sleep better. Harnessing the power of aquaponics. Ounce of Hope is the farm-to-table brand for getting high. Aquaponics combines fish and plant farming so all the nutrients released by the fish make an extremely healthy plant.

Oh, you're getting high thanks to fish shit. Visit ounceofhope.com and use DRUNK for 20% off your first order that's o-u-n-c-e-o-f-h-o-p-e.com with promo code drunk and start saving on the best delta 8 and delta 9 products here it is get on it god bless america and god bless sheath underwear let's show mark we're both wearing them right now look at that yeah sheath underwear keeps your balls off your leg which i mean i love that little pouch right there oh yeah the idea for sheath came from its founder u.s army soldier robert padden during his second tour in iraq this guy is a fucking veteran dude oh yeah

it worked for him it's gonna going to work for you. I wear sheath underwear, and they're great. It's like my favorite. You have your favorite pairs in the drawer. Yep. I have a few crappy Swiss cheese undies, and then I get my sheath ones that don't break down. They're good. Support the show. Support this awesome veteran-owned company. Mark, tell them how to do it.

Go to sheathunderwear.com. Use promo code DRUNK to get 20% off your first order. Every order comes with sheath's 100% money-back guarantee. That's sheathunderwear.com. Use promo code DRUNK to get 20% off your first order. Every order comes with Sheath's 100% money-back guarantee. That's sheathunderwear.com. Promo code DRUNK. Get Sheath Underwear and let them support your balls. It's like that thing. It's like a bull.

Is that a bull? A ram? A ram? It's a ram. Ramseys. Ramseys. I honestly did not know that. Ramseys is kind of a cool name.

Yeah, Ramsey. Ramseys. It's the ram mascot. Ramses. I honestly did not know that. Ramses is kind of a cool name. Yeah, Ramsey. Ramses. It's the Ram mascot. All right. There you go. What's your routine on the road? Because you're doing theaters and you're like every day you're probably going to a different city, right? Do you do the bus?

Do you fly? What do you do? I'm not doing. I didn't do the bus thing because I have to go back to LA during the week. Radio. Yeah, I do the bus thing because I have to go back to LA during the week. Radio. Yeah, I do the radio show with Tom Papa. And then I also do a lot of acting stuff. So that's usually something I have to fly back for.

You were on the Mindy show? Yeah, I did Mindy show. I just finished five months in Toronto. I filmed this action show with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wow. Yeah, it's cool. It's going to be on Netflix sometime next year. That's huge.

That's amazing. Do you like the show? I loved it. Arnold. I never. So you have a big role in it. Yeah, I mean, I'm in every episode. I'm in the CIA.

I'm like in the field, guys. Wow. We got a little ear thing. I'm doing action stuff. What's that? Did you get the ear thing? Yeah, we had the ear things and the weapons. What?

I mean. Get down. Get to the chopper. Three sets of the maid. That was a trip, like shooting guns beside Arnold. That's insane. We're like army crawling across the floor, explosions everywhere. He hasn't done something in a while, I feel like.

Well, he's never done TV. Wow. This is his first TV show. TV's different, though. Guys of that era, I think they get caught up. Yeah. Or at least did for a period being like, I'm not doing TV. Well, movies were so prestigious back then.

And all his movies made like a bazillion dollars. Totally. So, yeah. But he was like a kid in a candy store. He loved it every day. Wow. He was the governor of California He loved it every day. Wow. He was the governor of California. Yeah.

And Mr. Universe, he's done so much. He's cool. We went to his house. We went to his house a couple weeks ago. Yeah. Well, what's his house like? Oh, great. I mean, awesome.

It's all awesome. Wow. He's just so- Does he have a crazy gym in the house? I didn't see his gym, but he has like a statue of, you know. Of young Arnold. Yeah. Pumping iron Arnold.

He has some cool paintings of himself. He's a legend, dude. It was cool. I held the Conan the Barbarian sword. Lesbian's dream. That's right. Wow. What are you?

But he's like, like yeah he's like has so many cool stories like he's friends with like everybody of course

you're like who wouldn't want to be friends with Arnold yeah he's been doing this for decades oh yeah and he's a smart guy

if you hear him speak he's a very educated cool guy yeah they're smart yeah so it was it was awesome doing that so yeah so then i'll go on the road and do uh i'll do like three or four nights and then come back and then go back out i'm finishing up

my tour right now uh here in the northeast so i'm driving everywhere you're enjoying the last few shows you're like i can do these older jokes i'm enjoying working this material until my special comes out and then you know now i've got to write a whole new act i mean that's where i'm at it's that's where you're at stress i mean that's why i'm doing these like weird yeah smaller cities just because i'm like let me try to build here in smaller clubs you guys seem to write a lot like you guys seem to always be pumping out material right i love it i mean i love it i mean it's really like mark and i have been bouncing bits since we were like open micers almost y'all always talk to each other about yeah that's right we would always be like hey has this been done or is this fun you

know it's like stuff like just have a friend to be like is this horrible tell me this is horrible right uh but then you kind of yeah i mean i'm more confident now i don't feel like i have to do that as often but we still do it i still text you that's nice maybe with an idea yeah i'll run stuff by some friends who are your comic friends uh i i talk a lot with aaron foley oh i like aaron yeah yeah she's really good at like i'll i'll we'll zoom and i'll tell her like a a story that i'm thinking about and she'll kind of like you know say like oh that's you know there's something there or like maybe you know expand on that more if neither one of us are really like responding to it we're like no maybe we'll just put that back in the notes just even having a

friend to like let you go yeah yes you know and let you talk it out I do with Stavros a lot you know we're like uh our friend Ron on Hirschberg as well. But like, just have a friend to let you talk it out. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice. You find the bit. Yeah. Sometimes I'll ask Tom.

Tom Papa. You know, he's such a good writer. We love him. I'm like, is there anything to this premise or whatever? He's got a great laugh too. When you make him laugh, you feel good. Both of you have a good laugh. You're both very positive.

Yeah. Your show is fun to do because you're both easy. Yeah, we're just like, one of them talk to people about comedy. Yeah, then you do Jim and Sam

and they're like, you fucking homo. It's eight in the morning. We can say that to you too if you want. Yeah, right? What,

who were your comics growing up? They were like, that's, those are the people that got me in the stand-up. I think I was more of an SNL gal. Interesting. Yeah, because I actually started at the Groundlings in LA.

I started in sketch and improv. Those people. Hey, I did improv as well. Yeah, so I started more in the sillier version of comedy, like crazy characters. I still have so many characters that no one's ever seen. Oh. Because I never put them online or anything. I did them at the Groundlings, and it was like YouTube was just kind of becoming a thing.

Can you hum a few bars? Can we get the wacky neighbor? I mean, it's always like some, I like to play older women who are like, you know, have short spiky hair or something. Very sparkly outfits. And you would dress up? I would dress up. Oh, that's fun. I like lots of makeup.

I like just being someone totally different than myself. Sure, sure. I would play like a lounge singer who was like talking about her signature cocktail. Yeah. And, you know, just like crazy people. I played crazy people. That's fun. Very big, broad characters.

So, yeah. So, that's where I started. So, SNL was always the thing I watched every weekend. Who were your favorites on SNL? Yeah. What was your class? Well, the first class was the Sandler, Farley, Spade days. Molly.

Rock. Yeah. Then it went into Molly Shannon. Oh, I love Molly Shannon. She's the best. Sherry O'Terry, Will Ferrell, that crew. They were the most influential. Yeah.

Because that was when I was younger and really watching the show a lot more. Yeah, yeah. Molly Shannon is so insanely funny. So funny. Killer. And a great serious actor. Yeah. where she uh had cancer yeah i forgot the name of it but chris kelly wrote it from yeah um she's should have gotten an oscar for it she's incredible yeah she's really good have you heard the rumor about her what you've heard huh what is it she banged a guy and the

sex was so passionate that he had a heart attack. For real? Yeah, that's like one of those Hollywood stories. No. I don't buy it. Pull it up. Is it in her book? Probably.

Her book was very popular. Yeah, I read an interview with her in the LA Times and it was tragic. Her life story is tragic. War accident? Something like her. I wrote her a fan letter as a child when she was on SNL and she wrote back. I still have the autographed picture.

That's cool. I wrote Robin Williams when I was a kid. And got a letter. I found that letter when I was home recently. He wrote back? Yeah, I got a signed picture. Did you ever meet him later in life? I met him very briefly. I was doing a show at the Meltdown comics place

okay all right all right it's been disproven i'm glad we have a fact checker though i guess the rumor was two men oh all right i didn't know that fuck two men to death there you go so funny oh it was a plot of curve that's where i heard oh okay i thought it was i like how that stuff catches on though oh yeah that's how they're richard gear gerbil that's our gear look it up yeah um but uh i forgot what you asked i don't even know oh molly about robin williams oh yeah yeah that was oh i met him at meltdown Comics. Oh, yeah. That was a hot show. He just, like, showed up and was, like, watching in the back of the room. And I, like, was leaving and I saw him. He had left the room and he was kind of, he was very shy. Yeah.

I was just like, I just want to say I'm a big fan. He's like, thank you. That was very funny. Wow. Like, head down kind of thing. Oh, oh, oh. Fortune. Peepster.

Very funny. Definitely wasn't on. I mean mean that was probably like eight months before he died a year ah you did it you pushed him over the edge i did it i met his daughter um uh like a year and a half ago really lovely two years ago something like that yeah yeah damn but yeah i loved him i didn't watch a ton of stand-up. I watched like him and Whoopi Goldberg, Ellen, people like that. Those big. Have you met Ellen?

Just from like across the room. Oh, really? Yeah. But we've never met. It was one of those like, hi, hi kind of things. Oh, yeah. New Orleans. She's from New Orleans. That's right.

Yeah. She never reps us, but. That's weird. She don't Oh, yeah. New Orleans. She's from New Orleans. That's right. Yeah. She never reps us, but. That's weird. She don't want to talk about New Orleans. It's weird to just get away from a person that famous. That's how I met Larry David. Just a wave. Oh, yeah?

He was like where Matt is, about that far away. And Amy Schumer went, hey, this is Mark, Larry. And he went. Yeah. I want to like hug him and kiss him on the lips but you got to play it cool well it was right when things were like opening back up in la after the pandemic so people were kind of not coming near each other and we were outside on a patio of a restaurant and and i really noticed my wife was like kind of staring at somebody and i'm like who is she staring at I look behind me and it's

Ellen is sitting down and I we make eye contact and she's like hi she's like I'm a fan oh wow you left that you left that part out that's a big part yeah that was nice and I was like oh thank you me too you know and we just had that kind of like

then she dumped hot coffee on the assistant's head as she was walking away. And that was, yeah, that was them. Yeah, if I caught my wife looking at Ellen,

I would start looking at Portia. Are they still together? Yeah. Oh, all right. That's impressive. That's been a long time.

Yeah, like, how many years have that been? Yeah, at least 15. 18 or 20. Yeah,

good for them. Yeah. Even stuck through the, you know, the bad times for Ellen when she was young. Wow. Now they're trying to drag Bill Murray. That's the new one.

I know. You see it on Twitter. They're like, Bill Murray's inappropriate. I'm like, so now people are getting canceled for being mean? Oh, yeah. It's Hollywood. You can't be me, baby. I know. That's the point of getting to be a celebrity. You can be me. I've read a lot of old Hollywood books and I'm like, some of these people, I'm like oh shit they're lucky they're dennis hopper is lucky he's dead

sinatra all these guys like i can't wait to be me yeah you gotta be nice coming up and then once you get there it's like hey i don't need friends oh yeah sinatra was like a manic depressive who was like awful to people oh really yeah i didn't know that. Oh, my God. He said to Bob Evans, he's like, get my wife out of that movie or I'll kick your ass. And he called her and he's like, if you do that movie, we're getting divorced. And she's like, I'm doing the movie. And he sent divorce papers to the set. Oh, wow. Broke-haired baby.

I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. And by the way, he was 60 and she was 21. Oh, wow. Problematic. Maybe you should date someone not 39 years younger than you. And you won't have these problems. He's like, a woman my age would listen.

But like, dude, I mean, Mia Farrow, can you get more opposite than Sinatra? I know. And then who's the other guy she was with? The famous conductor, right? Oh, um. Philip Glass. I know, who is it? I don't know. I mean, like,

she does not have a type. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, for sure. It definitely varies. Uh-oh. Mia Farrow. Spouses. Andre Previn. Yeah, there we go. Oh, wow. She doesn't have a type. That's my point. Oh! That was him back in the day

to the right. Oh, okay, okay. It looks like if you mush Sinatra and Woody Allen together, you get him. Aging does not look fun. No, no. Aging is bad. It's better for some than others. Man, it's a. That stopped the whole pod and it tracks.

We're all pondering life now. He's a handsome guy. He's a handsome younger guy. She doesn't look great there either. She're a handsome guy. You're a handsome younger guy. She doesn't look great there either. She looks a little lame. Well, that haircut's not the best. It's not. It doesn't suit her.

A little page boy. But she, no, she was beautiful. Yeah. There you go. Wow. I got to ask you about the gambling stuff.

Is that real? The gambling stuff? The parents? You said your parents were gamblers in one of your books. Oh, I said I had someone in my family, not my parents, where they had gambling situation and my grandmother paid off a lot of those debts.

Wow. So that didn't help my family's financial situation. It was like, because my grandfather was a prominent uh contractor he designed a bunch of houses and schools and churches in north carolina and had and built them he had a company so he did really well for himself um but he died unexpectedly when my mom was 17 and my grandmother was just like a housewife and she's like i don't know what to do so he left a hardware company this was like pre-lose and home depot and she it eventually then those big stores came in they were going under but she was too proud to file bankruptcy

it was just a series of bad business things where so eventually all the money he had left her was totally gone so when i came when i came through my family had that like history of having money but no money and my dad was like from a trailer park and never had a dime hitchhike to school never had a birthday cake a whole different situation so i i come from this duet like this weird duality of like my mom's from like high society but no money right but she had it back in the day and my dad's totally from a trailer park and you know eating chicken wings and you know watching nascar so yeah i have this whole weird dual thing yeah you have so much to pull from i mean there's so much stuff in your stand-up that i'm like i it felt so like it feels so real yeah all those stories are are real it's all based it's all based on totally true things i just embellish

everything you gotta you gotta be like there's a story in my new um special where i talk about proposing to my now wife and like the guy that was part of the um the the waiter in the story. He's like, that stuff happened-ish, but he's like two people combined. I took traits from like another person. You know what I mean? And so, you know, if- Sometimes we'll say you made that bit up. I'm like, I combined two characters in one.

It's different. Sometimes you just have to save time. It's editing more than making up. Yeah, you have to edit for the story to make it more interesting and moving along. You're not telling like a bio- I'm not telling a biography. Right.

But all the stories are true. It's just you're pulling from different parts of life. Yeah. I don't even mind making up because then it also shows some creativity. Yeah. It's fiction. Yeah. Or, you know, if somebody.

Unless the laugh is like, it's true. This happened. Yeah. Unless you're doing that. But yeah. Right. I mean, of course, people make shit up. Yeah. Or you like. But as long as there's some truth in there. This happened. Oh, yeah. Unless you're doing that. But yeah, of course, people make shit up. Yeah, or you like.

But as long as there's some truth in there. For sure. As long as there's some part of the story is 100% always going to be true. Everything I tell is based on something that happened. But it's like, how can I make this? How can I? Because some of my stories are like eight minutes, ten minutes. You're like, how can I get people to sit there and listen to that for eight minutes?

You got to make it more interesting. No, it's impressive. Because I'm not. Mark and I aren't really storytellers like i'll mark is just pure bits yeah you have some stories no i do i usually will close each hour on a story because i i just for rhythmically it's my i think my structure will get predictable if i don't mix it up somehow and also i usually have one story i don't know where else to put it except the end i think it's kind of an interesting way to end it but uh but i'll be watching your story sometimes and i'm like i'm kind of like you know i'm watching because i'm like enjoying it but i'm also watching like

how the fuck is she gonna end this yeah because that's the hardest part of the story for me yeah that's a compliment well it really no it really is and uh sometimes you watch a story and you're like i don't i don't know how it's gonna end and the ending is so hard yeah oh yeah do you usually when you write a bit do you have the ending you know the ending or are there times when you're going along and you're like i gotta figure out something yeah i i try i on sweet and salty and good fortune i try to make both like beginning middle and like a narrative like we we're going to follow a timeline. But I worked really hard to try to find what can I pull from the beginning and bring back at the end. Ah, the wheel of fortune.

That they don't see coming. So that I don't ever know. It takes a while to find that. Whatever that thing is that brings it back around that's tough but i never you know i only go into every story with like a sentence like oh that's crazy like uh i you know proposed to my wife and it went wrong right well what happened let me think about it you know that ropes you right in yeah because i want to hear what happened yeah exactly so it so everything is like yeah the stuff i'm trying to work on now i'm

like okay i have like a an idea of what could be an interesting premise maybe but i don't know what the story is yet you know oh i don't envy you guys because this is a tough you just put out a special both of you and i'm in that sweet spot where I got my hours really cooking. It's like 90 percent done. So anything I add is just is just land. Yeah. That's extra awesome. That's the best fun.

But editing is tough. And I'm in that point right now where like I'll have 50 minutes. It's brand new. And I'm like, I get 50. It's not all working. I got 50 to play with. Yeah. That turns into 37 very quickly. Then I get back up to 45 then i'm down to 32 it's this weird dance

where i just keep cutting shit that's a good comic yeah it's very because a lot of people would just stick with their stuff even if it wasn't working well then you kind of cut the stuff and you're like this is an award document and i guess that'll either be later in this hour or it'll be for the next one because i kind of get rid of stuff if i can't crack it yeah we'll revisit it in like a month and a half fresh eyes but yeah i mean when you have a story it's so much i'm just interested because it is it's just different than us so i i watch story comics like you know someone like you or like i remember ari shafir gave me really good advice once with the story where he said, you know.

End it with Kobe. I thought it was interesting advice. He said, add a line in here and then go back to that line at the end. Like, add something. So it almost gives you an out if you can't crack it. Oh, interesting. Like, don't force a callback. But he's like, there's a way you can add something here yeah you know like my mom said this you know to me

and then at the end you go well my mom didn't think you know something like that almost like you would go back to the line that you add yeah if you can't crack it and i thought that was like yeah someone who only tells stories like ari is yeah it's interesting that's good yeah huh i heard some advice was uh you're telling a story and maybe you're not mentioning something the whole time, but the audience is kind of thinking it. Uh-huh. And then if you say that thing at the end, they're like, oh, he knows that we were thinking and they kind of give you a big pop for that.

Uh-huh. Like I have this whole joke about going to see a slave movie with my black friend and it was super awkward. And at the end, I go, I shouldn't give away my joke. But at the end, I go, and that's how I made slavery about me. Right. And it kills because they're like, oh, we kind of thought that throughout the whole thing. Like you're making this, like you're the victim.

Right. And at the end, I say that and they're like, all right, he's aware that he's a psycho. You're self-aware. Yeah. Self-aware is points. Right, right. And then at the end, I say that, and they're like, all right, he's aware that he's a psycho. You're self-aware. Yeah. Self-aware is points. It's points. Yeah, it's true, yeah. You know, when you go, that joke bombed, that gets a huge laugh, because they're like, oh,

he knows it bombed. Yeah. Yeah, I'd rather them at least know I'm not doing, I know I'm not doing well. Right. I'll do that sometimes when I'm bombing. I'm like, I know this is going badly, and they're like, all right, at least he knows. Yeah, exactly. At least he's not bad and delusional.

You take some of the, like, pressure off of them. Right. And they're like, okay, we at least he knows. Yeah. At least he's not bad and delusional. He takes some of the pressure off of them. They're like, okay, we're all on the same page now. Which is the essence of comedy. You're basically saying like, I'm aware of what's

going on here. I know what you're thinking. Yeah. Well, if I'm following the same sort of timeline that I've been doing with the last few specials,

the first one was very much about me finding myself, figuring out who I was. The second one was like, now I'm an adult. This is how I am as an adult. It's not necessarily what you would think. And I'm married. I'm getting engaged, married.

So now full fledged adult. And this is what it is. So now I if I'm going from that, then whatever is next would be like, what is the next thing that I'm dealing with as, you know, seven years into a relationship, two years married and kind of digging into that material. That's good. And then the audience grows with you. Yeah. So it's like so every special is a mini evolution. Right.

I don't know. Bargatze is similar. Yeah. He does that. I'm doing a thing where i'm aggressing fully and he's special i'm getting slightly worse yeah well that's a journey and they're watching me spiral and it's fun well i think that this one i want to bring more of my mom and my wife into stories together does your mom like your wife she does but it was at first like that feeling of probably feeling replaced a little bit wow yeah like i know men have that you should meet my mom i'm about the

same men experience that yeah more so i think than women but my parents split when i was 12 so i like weirdly sort of took on this like husband role uh for my mom i was like she was like my plus one kind of person like i oftentimes like when i got older i would come home for christmas and my brothers were married with kids and i'd be the single one so i was like my mom's companion the like dinner partner the we went on a cruise together wow yeah like a five-day christmas cruise together i mean how was it i wanted to jump off that boat yeah every day i wonder how many people have just purposely commit suicide i don't because they're with someone they couldn't we talked to the chaplain and a lot of people die on cruises a lot of old people like

like not yeah they're not jumping off the boat but like they're just old and they die yeah so he's like constantly giving like last right just died on the boat four people will get that google it yes so yeah i think i want to dig in so when i met my wife i think my mom knew right away it was a significant person so she was uh it took her a while to warm up to her like she was no longer i like now at a new plus one yeah jacks is the one that i'm gonna be traveling with and taking the thing so sometimes i'd fly my mom every week what's that to shows yeah not everyone but like one weekend on one off like that kind of thing that's a nice balance yeah but my my mom

like she's always like i want to go to europe i'm like no you can't no thank you um so it's so i think there's got to be some stories in there about that's great and at navigating that those relationships yeah my lady what those stories are yet they'll come i used to have a bit about how my mom would always say like you know i'd be dating girls my mom would be like i don't like her and i'm like yeah of course not she's you that's why i don't like her and then my dad would always go i think she's great yeah there's no threat there yeah my gal always says always says that every guy she's dated, whenever she meets the mom, there's tension. Yeah.

It's just instinct or it's innate. Well, because normally you do find that with men introducing their mom to the new girlfriend. It's not as common with women, but yeah, that's lucky me. Yeah. I think the heterosexual women get the dad who's like, get away from my daughter. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But you seem close with your mom, though.

Very close. Yeah. So I just, my mom's provided a lot of material over the years. So I feel like there's got to be fun. True the Hooters story. That was totally true, too. yeah that was totally true too um but yeah just kind of navigating the two of them you know the two strong women in my life has been a journey yeah how did you meet your wife uh at chicago pride oh wow look at that yeah i never thought you could meet a significant other

in a pride event you know where everyone's hammered. We ran into each other and kept running into each other all night. Just kept somehow ending up in the same space. Wow. And scissoring. Then we scissored. That could be your third special title. You keep growing.

Then we scissored. That's not real, is it? It's not really a big thing. I didn't think so. That's like porn for men, I feel like. Yeah. Yeah, it's more fun for guys to think about two girls just, you know. Just rubbing. Yeah, it's a very male thought.

But it doesn't do it. We don't like women with strap-ons because then we're like, yeah, we're being replaced. Yeah, exactly. You don't like that. Exactly. But yeah, people are not really rubbing like that as much. Yeah, exactly. You don't like that. Exactly. But yeah, people are not really rubbing like that as much. Yeah, yeah. And then every girl I know, she's like, I watch lesbian porn over man-woman.

I've heard that too. Every woman. I think it's a, you know, balls are gross. Because they know what they're doing? Yeah, maybe that. Because balls are gross. Yeah, I've heard a lot of my straight lady friends like the lesbian porn. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. That's fascinating. i don't know do women like men i have no it's debatable are we calling that this episode do women like men i don't know it's debatable what do you guys bring to the table you're going tiktok it's just like men are the worst whatever so you're like maybe they don't like when are you gonna ask me to marry you and i'm like wait so do you hate me or do you want to be with me? Which one is it?

These drinks are going down smooth. I'm feeling this. This is great. Pregnant waiter. This is a new thing. I know. Or a bartender. Pregnant waiter.

Did you like that other one better? I do. Honestly, I prefer the whiskey sour. Sorry, Chris Hart. Sorry, Chris Hart. Sorry, Chris. You bought me a sweet ribeye, though. It did look nice, yeah. It looked classy as hell,

but I like my wine and my whiskey separate. Yeah, I think so, yeah. Exactly. That's what we learned today. We're not bi. No. No, we tried. We tried it.

As long as you tried. Open-minded. Oh, give me a, does anyone have a rec? Anyone? Either of you? I got a rec. Yeah, what do you got? Well, I try not to do movies because I feel like I do movies all the time.

We do so many movies. We watch a lot of movies. This movie really just tickled the taint. And it's a horror slasher movie, which is not my favorite. Okay. But it's so well done. Scorsese's raving about this guy. Spielberg loves this guy.

He's like a new guy on the scene. The movie's called X. X. Pull it up. It's called X. Like the X or just X? Just X the letter. Oh, I've not heard of this.

Peter's has seen it. You liking that? Oh, you haven't? Oh, okay. It's a throwback to like a chainsaw maker. A24. A24, they make some interesting stuff.

They are so good. So good. Go to Rotten Tomatoes. What are we looking at? Critics and audience. I'm nervous. It kind of shakes up the genre. 94, right?

Oh, 94. Look at that. There you go. Audience score is 75%. All right. I'm shocked the audience was not higher. Sometimes the audience gets it wrong too, though.

But yeah, it's really good. You can't predict it. It's different, but you think you know it, but you don't know it. It's one of those. You watched it with the lady or in theaters? I watched it on the road with a comic in a hotel room. I was like, let's not get hammered tonight for one night, and we watched a movie, and we had a couple white claws.

White claws. But it was really good kid cuddy's in it kid cuddy kills it kid cuddy and it's a hell of a premise i don't want to give anything away maybe i'll watch this i got a i got a movie rec too it's an old one though but it's a great i revisited it it's a fucking masterpiece it's an old movie it's a robert altman movie it's called nashville if you haven't seen it oh i've not seen old movie. It's a Robert Altman movie. It's called Nashville, if you haven't seen it. Oh, I've not seen it, but obviously I know the movie. It's a musical. It's a brilliant movie. I feel better.

Thank you. It really is. Keith Carradine won the Oscar for Best Song. Oh, really? For Best Song. I've never seen it. Lily Tomlin was nominated for it. Oh, man.

It's a great fucking movie. Altman's a genius. I couldn't stop listening to music on the road this weekend. Really? I don't know. Something about being in the South, I'll just start listening to country music. But it's great music. And damn, it's like Altman.

It's like they sing country music in it? Yeah, but it tells a story. It's incredible. Altman really was a genius. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, The Player is one of my favorite movies, too. Yes's incredible. Altman really was a genius. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, The Player is one of my favorite movies, too. Yes, Smash.

I got to rewatch this. Nashville is my friend Ronan Hirschberg's number one movie of all time. Wow. He thinks. I think it's one of the best. I feel like there's a lot of movies I need to see. Karen Black was great. Back in the day.

Five Easy Pieces, Karen Black. Yes, yes. Wow. All right. I'll rewatch i recommend but going in it is a musical and it takes alton movies take a minute yes yes but you gotta let it settle in let it settle it's not it's the same for your tiktok where you watch it online it's not yeah you can just rent it on Amazon. It might be streaming too. Oh, they have an 84% audience score. It's a classic. Okay, it's a classic. Shelley Duvall. Shelley Duvall.

She disappeared forever and they just found her again. Oh, really? Yeah, she went out to the desert or something. What? I can never tell if these people are happy or if they lost it. I think she fell on hard times. But man, if you look at her resume, she was in so many things. The Shining, Annie Hall.

Popeye. Yeah. She was olive oil, for Christ's sake. Olive oil. Wow, okay. All right, Nashville. I'll tell you, Roxanne. I used to love that movie.

Yeah, that was good. Yeah, no, she was great. I haven't watched any movies. Really? It's hard now. I don't have any good recommendations other than I went to that, a lot of people would know this place, but I had a sandwich at Potbelly again.

That place is so good. It's not bad. I don't know why that came to me. As far as the sandwich seems, I think it's actually toward the top. I think it's pretty great. It's great and the soups are good too. The sugar cookie was phenomenal. I think that not a lot of people know about their cookie situation.

The sugar cookie is awesome. Good sugar cookies. It's a better Jason's Deli. Because Jason's Deli is fine. They kick it up a notch. And you can get these peppers on the sandwich that are tasty. I love it. I don't know.

We don't have them in LA. I don't think they're in the West Coast. It feels like a Midwest thing. Yeah,'t think they're in the West Coast. It feels like a Midwest thing. Yeah. I think it started in the Chicago area. But I had one recently, and I forgot how much I really like Pop Belly. Good rec. That's a great rec.

I used to always go there when I played Zanies in Chicago. So it makes sense. It's almost next door to there. Right. There's one in Midtown, Pop Belly. So, yeah. R.I.P. Sarah Doms, Midtown. A Potbelly. So, yeah. R.I.P. Sarah Doms, who used to be the interviewer for the Interrobang. We did an interview

in there. Oh, really? Potbelly, yeah. She was a good person. Big comedy. Wow. And you can get your sandwiches toasted. It used to be that only Quiznos did that. That's right. Quiznos is underrated while we're on it. Yeah. I haven't been there in forever. But Quiznos ain't bad. But I think I like Potbelly.

I prefer Potbelly to Quiznos. Probably. Okay, then, yeah. Both no pedophilia. Oh, yeah, maybe it started in Chicago. I remember I tell it a bit in one of his specials where he said he was doing a show in the Middle East. He goes, I couldn't remember the guy's name.

It was something with a lot of Qs, Us, and Zs. I called him Quiznos. He even mispronounces it, which is funny. Queeznose. So stupid, but it could kill me. I just picture him

walking by a Queeznose and being like, that's a funny word. Six years, I'll write a joke about that. He showed up at Mark's bachelor party and he was in such a bad mood.

Oh, really? We did the episode here and a teller showed up just like, he got up at one point and was looking around and goes, oh, I'm sorry, I'm just looking and he was in such a bad mood. Oh, really? We did the episode here, and Attell showed up. He got up at one point and was looking around and goes, oh, I'm sorry, I'm just looking for some punchlines. Oh, no. Was this the bachelor party?

He did one in Florida, and I couldn't go because I went to Dana Gould's wedding in California. And then a lot of comics went there, so we did our own thing here. We had a bunch of comics on. We had Joe DeRosa, Godfrey, Shane Gillis. Yeah, it was a while. Sean Patton, David Tell, Gary Vee. You guys had a big orgy.

Yeah, and we did the- Big orgy. We did have a male stripper come by just to mix it up. A cop. A hot Dutch guy. Was your thing with Bert, was that what the Florida one was? Yes, yes. That was where a bunch of you guys were at like a pool.

We rented a giant house. He'll be at the bachelor party and not the wedding. Yeah, exactly. He flew on a private jet to come meet us at a party. Did he really? Yeah. Respect. Dang.

From Italy. I'm in a rental car driving around the Northeast. Have you done the private jet for your own gigs yet? No, I have not. You'll be there soon. I'm not quite there. You will be. I don't know.

I've never been in a private jet. What? I don't know you guys have. I'm shocked. Yeah. As openers, though. As openers, yeah. Listen, you're in one.

And Epstein's Island. Yeah, yeah. But that was a cool island. I'm not in one for the environment. Oh, there you go. That's a good save. I feel the same way. Although I did hear that Leonardo DiCaprio flies environment. Oh, there you go. That's a good save. I feel the same way. Although I did hear that Leonardo DiCaprio flies private.

Oh, does he? I think he's a big climate change guy. He does make up for it, though. He raised a lot of money. Yeah. And a lot of women. I was going to raise a lot of kids. Always with the zingers in here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So was Chelsea lately one of your first like really big breaks because i i remember you really popping off in that show i'm thinking people that really josh wolf was another one right who like really moshe kasher natasha was on was moshe big i didn't remember joe was big yeah bobby lee uh-huh um yeah it was my first big gig. I did Last Comic Standing in 2010. That was my first TV thing. And then got Chelsea six months later. Last Comic's a tough experience.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, when I did it, they had been off for like two years. But before, they were all living in a house together and stuff. Like very reality show-esque. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I was like, I'm not living. How can you make that show worse? I don't know. I mean, I was like, I cannot live in a house with a bunch of comics.

But they were like, no. We already do that. It's called Home. Yeah. They're like, it's just stand-up. So I said, well, I can do stand-up. I mean, I've not been on TV before. I'm not one of them to be picky about.

I remember when Gabriel Gleises was on it, they kicked him off for texting someone while in the house. Oh, really? And I was like, you can't text? Wow. Yeah.

I used to survive. Oh, yeah, there's Lonnie Love. God, I really... Look at that. I really... This was back when TV was fun. My wardrobe choices were dicey for many years.

You got a tie on. My hair was really dark. I got a tie on dark you kept it classy yeah what's chewy he died he did yeah uh two or two or three three years ago maybe sad if you're that small the life expectancy isn't time has no time is really off for me right now because of the pandemic yeah i can't remember what was pre-pandemic and i know almost like the last two and a half years have kind of stood still do you think you and your wife got closer during the pandemic or do you think it tested some shit that is a test we got

married in the pandemic i think that i think we we passed the test yeah the other way well you learned that like no one here you learned that like that you're kind of each other's people right you know like when we couldn't see anybody else he had to lean on each other what was your pandemic uh routine what did you was there anything you did like i was a slob oh my god well because i i didn't realize how much i'd been hustling yes exactly once you shut off it's like it's it's almost like being an athlete and you don't work out anymore and you're like, well, I guess I'm just out of shape. I put on so much

weight. But then getting back into shape is so painful. I mean, getting back on the stage, I was like, this is really painful. I had a stutter when I first got back on stage. Oh my God. Wow. I was really worried. I remember I came to New York last July and I did the cellar and I was talking to comics. I go go i have a stutter right

now i don't know where it came from but then it eventually just went away that's wild but yeah i think because i had a nervousness i don't know if or just not talking like that on stage you know i couldn't like my words just wouldn't come out it's a muscle you lose it quick it's weird how quick stan yeah so i think i like was i just didn't realize how much I had just been constantly working, constant, constant. Like, and, you know, it's a business where having one job is never enough. You have to have five, six, you know, whatever. And so, everything stopped. And for the first time in, like, 15 years, I had nothing to do.

And I was like, well, at first I was like super bummed out. And then I got way too comfortable. I was in sweatpants and flannel and Ugg boots and drinking wine every night and watching TV. I kind of like started to like it. Oh, my God. It got to a point where, you know, my ex and I were watching a movie like every night. We're going to the grocery store store we're just like sampling different candies let's try let's see what twizzlers doing with this like cream filled flavor here

yeah rolos well and it was like the the i mean obviously i would never want to go back to that time but there was no fomo or whatever right you know what i mean because it wasn't like there were other comics out there doing a bunch of stuff and you're feeling like you're lugging behind. It was like an equalizer. Like we're all at home. We all can't really do anything. And so you

didn't feel like you were in this rat race that is like, because you know it's comics you're always kind of like, oh I gotta be doing more and more. I mean, isn't that crazy? I more. Right, right. You feel guilty. Isn't that crazy? I still can't believe we lived through that shit. I know.

I know it's like been said to death, but I think about it. I'm like, we lived through, that's insane that we just shut down as a country. Somebody said it well. They said it's the only time in hundreds of years that the whole world had the same problem. Yeah. At once. The whole world had the same problem at the same time whole world the same problem the same time that's not true kanye west but uh no uh no that's uh it's crazy it's uh we all we all were just stuck we were all at home we were we were all in like a state of just

no movement yes for a long fucking time like i also i also man, Zoom cashed in. Skype, really? Oh, my gosh. That could have been Skype. Yeah. That could have been Skype. Yeah, the plastic dividers cashed in. The outdoor heater for restaurants. A lot of people cleaned up. Also, if you're a therapist, your life just got so much better.

Oh, yeah. Zoom therapy. Every therapist is like, yeah, I live in Miami now. It's all remote. Yeah, the mass people. Yeah, a lot of people are still Zooming. Yeah. Yeah.

I do it still. Yeah, we do our radio show. I just do it. Oh, really? Whoa. Well, you know, you're with a big company, Netflix, you know, for your radio show. So they can just Zoom it in where it looks pretty good, actually. Yeah.

Right. On the show. But sometimes comics, a lot of at-home setup can be rough. Right. Yeah, I mean mean i do another podcast uh with a football player julian edelman and we we zoom in all our guests because they're all football players or famous people who don't want to come to the fucking studio whether in la or something but it actually looks pretty good because it's a company if you get a if you get a

legit engineers on that it's yeah we have an awesome producer so everyone sounds fantastic you're like that you don't miss being in the studio but it allows tom and i to go on the road and do all the stuff we're doing do you do episodes from the road yeah yeah doing it this week from out here just my little home setup you know headphones with the mic yeah yeah you never get the i mean sometimes sometimes yeah certain hotels but you know tom is tom is such a chill great dude i mean we love tom papa here uh i look for a flaw with him i can't find it's gotta be something guys that he must have killed a kid ran over somebody and he hid the body no but he's like a dude he did a great he was great when he did our he did this show too and uh yeah he's one of those dudes every time i see him at the

cellar i'm just like excited yeah he's got that like because you know what i think part of it is that he's an older guy who still drinks yeah that's nice so i think that's part of it he's got his like little round hat on oh yeah he's got a martini and i'm just like i'm like there's something about this energy that's almost at a place in time yeah like you expect to be slapping a secretary's ass while he does it like i'm like this shouldn't be around anymore enjoying life yeah he's a great he's a good advice guy too i call him sometimes when i need a certain life advice he's always got good he's wise nuggets of wisdom oh yeah smart guy and he's he's he's been through it yeah he's got a couple

kids two kids yeah yeah yeah he's a good egg yeah i wish he was my dad that's what this all boils down to his last name is papa yeah that's right holy shit everybody's damn blow my mind he was the first big guy ever opened for too so that was scary yeah he murders like people don't give him his due for how he kills he's got his he's very respected i hope so but you know i know you mean like like there's a lot of comics we see just rip a room apart we're like that person should be rich yeah you know yes but like tom is very respected he does very well but you know i don't we don't mean to say that at all. But like we see so many people and I'm sure it's the same with like actors or musicians. You see someone just tear a room to shreds and you're like more people should know this name.

Yes. And much like you, he has this positive light about him. Like sometimes you go to the cellar and like that guy's there. He's going to tear me to pieces. He's going to shit on me. Ball busting is very common. Yeah. Which has its place,

but when you see Tom or you, it's like, hey, let's hug it out. How about those, how about those new potbellies? We do a segment on here that we don't do enough. I'll do a toast.

It is my toast. To people who are not a lot. Yeah. A lot of people are a lot. They're weighty. Like energy vampires. They're brooding. people to people who are not a lot yeah a lot of people are a lot they're waiting they're waiting yeah they they kind of uh they just suck from you at all times their energy sucks yeah and i'm if you're struggling i'm not saying don't tell someone i'm not saying don't confide but there's people whose whole personality is that and then there's people like tom who every

time you see them you're just like this dude's just fucking fun yeah it's like a light a light it's a light yeah there's a light yeah there's something exactly and you guys do a show together so it's like there's something about that that's like really i mean shout out to people who fucking bring that light a toast to those people i don't know raise the roof? I don't know. Let's raise that shit. We'll do it. We're bringing it back. Never went away from me. I'm always raising the roof. You're positive, I feel like. Yeah.

I mean, but I think it's like just a natural demeanor for me. I don't know where it comes from. shoot a pillow? No, I think at home I'm more just chill. I'm not like... Are you edibles?

Anything? No, not really. No. I like... I don't know. I know I'm very just chill. I'm not like out of charge. Are you edibles, anything? No, not really, no. I don't know. I know I'm very lucky to have this, but I genuinely wake up pleasant and happy. Wow, that's nice. And I know not everyone is lucky to have that. Chemically, people are just built different ways. And not to say that I don't wake up being moody or bad days but i would say my my

norm is pretty pleasant don't look at twitter yeah right so it's just to have social media for the most part i mean i have to be on there for work and you know but you don't linger i don't linger don't linger i don't i try not to read a lot of comments uh good and bad yeah so because you want to see the good but if you are gonna see the good you're gonna see the bad so i just kind of i i'll go through some like if someone's like you know came to a show i'll be like oh thanks so much so i don't like ignore everything but i don't dwell on right comments and stuff just because i do want to be happy. You know, I do want to genuinely enjoy my life.

I don't want my entire life to be wrapped up in this business and what people think of me. Here, here. It's not, it ain't going to end well. I don't want, yeah, I don't want my value as a person to be dependent on what people think of me. Oh, boy. That's's good advice right there. I should take a lot of that advice. Because what goes up must come down.

You got that right. People are going to like you. Some people will like you, and then other people will hate you just looking at you for no reason. That's just the world we're in now. Yeah, I know. And you can't do anything about it. So why seek out that?

I think for me, I'm like, why? Why? What did I do to that? You just start racking your brain. Then you have so many insecure thoughts that it kind of starts validating shit that you've thought. Then you go down a whole spiral. I just think it's a slippery slope. It's like, obviously, as as comics we love to hear laughter

we love to hear praise as part of our job but I just don't want to hang my hat on all of that stuff very mature and good and bad yeah I mean yeah it's the same mentality with a bad show I mean you're not as good as the as the best said you're not as bad as the worst you gotta kind of have to keep in a safe middle area yeah but yeah the comments are right there yeah you really have to like it's like right there it's brutal sometimes i mean you know i've been doing this since 2010 so i've been called every name in the book you get kind of used to it but you know what matters is you do these live shows and the people that come seem to have a really good time. They're laughing.

They feel good. You're like, that's what matters is that stuff. And that's reality. Yeah, that's right in front of you. You're seeing that it is real and it exists. Comments on the Internet. Yeah. That's a whole other. Well, comments are a lot of people that are literally like you're in a club and they're opening the door and being like, fuck you.

Yeah, exactly. That's not one of your people. Exactly. That're in a club and they're opening the door and being like, fuck you. Yeah, exactly. That's not one of your people. Exactly. That's just a person who's peeking in. Yeah. I mean, I get like, every now and then if I tweet something that happens, I get a joke and it gets a lot of views or comments. I start having heart palpitations. I don't want that kind of attention.

You know what I mean? I know what you mean. Palpitations I don't Attention you know Even if it's like a funny joke So similar to you guys where it's like we're entertainers we're trying to get the laugh We're trying to unify a room of people and they're just laughing yeah and i had a thing a few weeks ago where someone i'm in the omaha funny bone someone screamed out free palestine after a jeffrey epstein joke and i'm like all right let's let's investigate this i'm just having fun with the

person just being silly with the person it becomes a thing gets i post it because it's a funny clip starts getting picked up by like the jerusalem Oh, really? All these legitimate news sites are picking up. Then people start coming at me hard. Like, this guy is pro-apartheid. I'm like, watch the video. I don't say that at any point of the video. Right. But people are really...

But then the guy saying I'm pro-apartheid gets a ton of reposts. And I'm like, I didn't say shit about that. I was literally making fun of someone. Wow. I literally just said, do you think the Omaha Funny Bone is the place for your protest? I'm literally just being silly with the person. How do you even get to apartheid? How do they even connect that?

She yells out, how do you feel about apartheid? I said, how do you feel about fucking up my show? Oh, yeah. That's not even. Jesus Christ. I'm just trying to. I'm like, literally, it's a live performance that I'm trying to keep funny because the crowd is uncomfortable.

Right. Yes. Wow. But that's my point is like, you can't give them that. No, no, no. Because that person, so much of the internet is people not even doing their research and just attacking. Yeah.

That person clearly didn't watch the clip. Right. That's the person just attacking me. And they want the attack. They don't actually want reality or justice or rationality. That person clearly didn't watch the clip. Right. That's the person just attacking me. And they want the attack. They don't actually want reality or justice or rationality. And if you're like, I never said that, they don't listen. Nuance doesn't get retweets.

No. Or headlines. Nuance doesn't work on social media in general. Yes. You know, it's not the place for that. So, I don't know. I just try to make people laugh at my live shows and put up silly videos and tell stories. That's how I feel. That's the lane that I know.

Totally. It's a good lane. Yeah. It makes people happy. I try to put out that positivity and hope that it makes people feel good. And that's the only thing I can really focus on. Yeah. Yeah.

I hear you. It's sad. But sometimes people will write a mean thing and I'll like it. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. It's just, it's sad because sometimes people will write a mean thing and I'll like it and they'll be like, oh shit, I didn't know you would see this. And you're like, what are you doing? Like, so you just caved instantly so you don't even mean it?

Like, that's even weirder. You're like, stick to it. Yeah, I'd rather you hate me. I hate you. Call me a piece of shit. But I think I'm so weak-minded. You know that old Chris Rock joke where he's getting pulled over and the cop's like, you stole this car. He's like, damn, maybe I did. That's how I feel.

I'm like, you're a whatever, a bigot. I'm like, maybe I am. And you start thinking, but you're like, what the fuck am I listening to this guy in Cleveland for? Yeah, but you hate that guy. Not only is he a piece of shit, he's spineless. Yeah, yeah. I know. The picture of him is his profile is just like a piece of shit, he's spineless. Yeah, yeah. I know. The picture of him, his profile is just like a handgun or something.

And you're like, Jesus Christ. Always. Always a rifle or something. An AK-47. Yeah. Yeah. The point of this story is follow us all on social media. And leave a comment.

Yes. We'll read them. All of them. Alone. The new special is on Netflix. Good Fortune. Good Fortune. Oh, yeah good fortune oh yeah yeah your stuff's great i mean it really is hilarious and uh sweet and salty is a great special so check that out check out the other stuff it's on there as well you're on the road listen yeah i'm doing some club dates yeah uh plug some day they're not all up there you're

rebuilding i'm doing like huntsville, Alabama's club. Ontario, California. Oxnard, California. San Jose. Oh, yeah. And Irvine. All the California clubs. Those are fun rooms. I did not do well in San Jose.

Oh, yeah? I'm doing like working it out. Like good material kind of stuff. It was a lot of, they were coming from that big jazz fest all them all day. So they were just laying there like. They were jazzed out. They were jazzed down yeah yeah yeah comic comic audiences are so savvy now to comedy like if you go i'm working out they go oh cool yeah this is interesting it's the crowd is so sophisticated now yes well i like building stuff know, in these clubs and them seeing the progress that you make when you come back around. Oh, yeah.

But yeah, I'm just announcing a whole new tour that will start the end of January and I'll be going everywhere again, so. Nice. It'll be busy. Alright, well, go see Fortune on the Road. Killer Act. New stuff. Thanks for coming in.

Thanks for having me. Thanks for the whiskey there, J-Mo. Cheers, everybody. What do you got? You plugging some dudes? Oh, yeah. I'm at the Wilbur in Boston. I'm at the Joy. I'm at the College Street Music Hall in New Haven. The Fillmore in Philly. We added a show. Buffalo.

Cobbs in San Francisco. Zany's in Nashville. All kinds of fun. They're going to Hawaii. Who knew? So, yeah. Fun stuff. Come on out.

MarkNorbinComedy.com and get Bodega Cat. BodegaCat.com. I got Kansas City, Tacoma, Spokane on New Year's, and then theater tour in January. Please come out. New Orleans, Austin, Dallas, Tulsa, St. Louis, Vegas, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, Salt Lake, Huntington, New York, AC, Royal Oak, Michigan, Minneapolis, Madison, Milwaukee, New Haven, Boston, Miami, Orlando, Jacksonville, Atlanta, Charleston, North Carolina, and Durham, Charlottesville, Norfolk, DC,C., Wilkes Bar in Port Chester,

samorell.com slash shows. Dang. Somebody's been busy. Oh yeah, somebody's single. I'm very unhappy. BodegaCatWhiskey.com Great having you here. Thanks for having me, guys. I appreciate it. Always a pleasure. It was nice drinking with you.

It was awesome. Anything, J-Mo? I got a foot in my ribcage. J-Mo. Oh me, guys. Great stuff. I appreciate it. Always a pleasure. It was nice drinking with you. It was awesome. Anything, J-Mo? I got a foot in my rib cage. J-Mo. Oh, yeah. Pregnant. Go see The Birth. Oh, yeah. She's putting it on Zoom.

Yeah, I don't know when this comes out. I usually do, like, Greenwich Village, Comedy Club, or Broadway, but I'm going to definitely have to take a pregnancy leave at some point. Yeah. Yeah. You better get some rest. All right. That'll be fun, too.

All right. Well, I mean, Ali Wong, Christina P, Schumer, they've all done the pregnant shows. All right. Well, that'll do it, I think. You're great. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I've had a little too much bourbon, and Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope, and I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like a cop's coming, and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans, this woman doesn't look like I remember her, And I get down in the same way We might be true