We Might Be Drunk - Ep 108: Sebastian Maniscalco

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

Coffee is for closers, and we close out 2022 with Sebastian Maniscalco. Sebastian joins us from his home in California for our first guest over Zoom. Hope to bring him back in studio. We chat for the first 45ish minutes and bring Sebastian in to close out the show. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/Drunk and get on your way to being your best self. Get 60% off 1 st box by going to https://go.factor75.com/DRUNK60 and use code DRUNK60 Mark Normand: http://marknormandcomedy.com/ Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/shows Sebastian Maniscalco: https://www.sebastianlive.com/ https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com/shop https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod http://www.bodegacatspirits.com

Hey, folks, here we are. We might be drunk. It's early. It's cold. It's New York City. We're having a couple of coffees. Coffee for clothing. Yes.

Great movie. Oh, yeah. Dude, I'm fucking, I went after it this week, and I drank too much. Same. Yeah, I left Wednesday, got home last night at 11 p.m. From where? Buffalo. It's a long story.

I'll tell it. We got a lot to talk about. Love Buffalo. All right. Well. You go to Chef's? I didn't go to Chef's. I never heard of Chef's.

Salamanca, pull it up. Look at that fucking pasta. I don't even know what I'm looking at here. That's a brick of cheese over pasta. That sauce is next level. Chef's and Buffalo. I don't even know what I'm looking at here. That's a brick of cheese over pasta. That sauce is next level. That chef's in Buffalo. I got love for Buffalo. I like Buffalo.

Great town. Good Italian community. Good people. Good people. Hard nose. Ice cold. Salt of the earth. But look at this thing.

This is what got Peters in his shape. This is out of control. I ate that before I went on stage. I was like, this ain't good. Oh, man. That's worse than Artie Lang doing heroin before going out. It just weighs you down more. That's what all the women look like on Tinder in Buffalo.

Artie Lang. Jesus. That's true. Artie Lang now. We love you, Artie. We love you. All right. Funny guy.

The best He has one of my favorite jokes He's talking about What's the guy's name who's dating Khloe Kardashian Odom Yeah he was Odom Yeah so he's in the kitchen at the house

At like 3 in the morning Like making a sandwich And he's like He's like oh man This relationship with these women There's too many of these women I might start doing crack. And Bruce Jenner walks down and goes, wait to hear what I'm going to do.

That's a great joke. I might have fucked it up. No, that's a great – I love the one he did about, you know, all the NBA people are like, stay in school, and then like – he's like, yeah, yeah, go to college instead of getting millions of dollars in the NBA. He's like, that's why instead of – if they want to say stay in school instead of a dunk contest at All-Star Weekend, they should do a spelling bee. He goes, what would you rather see, them dunk again,

or Stefan Marbury try to spell Wednesday? Oh, Wednesday. That's a great joke. So perfect. Everything about that is damn he's good. Spelling bee. Then you have the visual of these giant seven-foot dudes at a spelling bee with the name tag.

Gold. Hilarious. You got another one. It's like, I never use the N- a spelling bee with the name tag. Gold. Hilarious. You got another one. It's like, I never use the N-word unless it's the fourth quarter. Only he can get away with that shit. He's like, that age is like grandfathered into those jokes. Right, right. Yeah, he's a great, great dude, too.

I miss him. Oh, yeah. I hope we see him around again soon. Oh, yeah. One of the funny. Great book, Too Fat to Fish. It's too fat to fish it's incredible so funny so funny also him on stern arguing with dice clay is one of the all-time great radio moments yeah he used to say something about how he used to wait three hours in line to see dice and now he dodges his phone calls yes exactly exactly dice tried to get money

out of him it's a whole thing wow but that's showbiz. It can just keep going, and then now you're fighting with your heroes. So tell me about Buffalo. All right. So Wednesday, got a gig in Toronto. Dan Ford Theater. What an amazing place. Did that. Beautiful city, too.

Great city. Great comedy town, Toronto. So we're at the theater, and I'm just chatting with the comics, and they're like, so what do you got tomorrow? I'm like, I'm going to Buffalo. They're like're like oh that's a quick flight or quick drive and i was like yeah let me look that up i'm connecting at seven in the morning to dc and then going up back to buffalo and i text my manager i'm like what the hell is this and i got the road guy on it everybody's on it like yeah what is that that's He's like, there's nothing left. So Rob Mayhew of Royal Comedy Club, he's like, hey, this guy will drive you.

Give him a couple hundred bucks. I said, I'll give you 200 bucks. You drive me. He's like, we'll go tomorrow at noon. We had a great day. But Jacob Silva. It's like an adventure every week. I know.

So I had to cancel my flights. I get in the car with this guy. And we're about to cross the border. And he goes, you don't have any drugs, do you? And I go, well, I use ed adventure every week. I know. So I had to cancel my flights. I get in the car with this guy, and we're about to cross the border. And he goes, you don't have any drugs, do you? And I go, well, I use edibles to sleep. And he goes, get rid of them. Get rid of it. We're going to get killed over there.

They're going to rape us. They're going to kill us, scalp us. So I go, all right. So we pull over to a guy's house. That would be funny if they did rape you. Like, what the fuck is this shit? We got to rape you. We have to.

We're sorry. Sorry. So I'm like, fuck. So now we pull over to a guy's house like a block before the border, just some random guy's house. I'm going through my bag. I got a million edibles in there, shrooms I'd just forgotten about. It must have been like thousands of dollars worth of merchandise. Oh, my God.

We throw it in some guy's lawn. That must have been painful. Brutal. Brutal. I hate throwing shit away. And then this kid, Jacob, is like, what are you doing? He's like, That must have been painful. Brutal. I hate throwing shit away. And then this kid, Jacob, is like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm writing the address. When I come back over, I'm getting

these. I was like, no! It's like Fargo. I know! Funny looking guy. So we go over the border. They go, where you going? What do you got there? I go, passport. They go, alright, get through. And I'm like, ah! So we did the right thing, but they didn't check anyway.

Damn. Brutal. That sucks, but the gigs were great. Gigs were great. Get to Buffalo. Sean over there is great. We had a Jordan Fisher opening. Oh, yeah, I like him.

And Kyle Turner hosting. We had a great time. Six shows sold out. Killer crowd. Sold merch. Then a guy goes, hey, I work with the Bills. I got your number from Shane Gillis. I'm the personal trainer.

You want to come to the game on Sunday? Whoa. And I was like, oh, I'd have to move my flight. But all right. Yeah, OK. So I call Sean Murphy. He's a Bills guy. He's like, I'm flying up.

I got tickets for everybody. I assume we're going to be in a big box. It's going to be great. 13th row in the snow. Freezing my tits off, no coat, brutal. Why don't you have a coat in Buffalo? Well, I was there for three days. I got like a bomber jacket, and so I had to get a coat.

I had to get a giant parka. Did you get a nice coat? Well, I borrowed one from this guy. It was very nice. But now you're just shivering, and I'm like, damn, I thought we were going to be in a box. I thought we gonna be shaking hands with uh gabe and the other guy josh allen and we were out in the snow and it was hell i have a whole new respect for buffalo people any town that goes out and supports in the snow like that those people like blankets out there

and stuff it's insane and they're hooting and how They get drunk at 7 a.m. They're tailgating all day. They look like hobos. They do. Yeah. But that's a strong group of whites over there. That's a great football town. Oh, yeah. And they've got a great team.

Did they win? I think they won. I bailed early. I was like, I've got to get out of here. I can't feel my hands. That's amazing. I was the diva. I was like, all right, I don't live here.

I've got to go. I never used to do that shit, but we were in Kansas City a couple weeks ago, and I did check if the Chiefs were playing because I got my home. So I'm like, I can see it live. I told Vito, I was like, we're going. Fuck your second baby, dude. We're seeing some foosball. Yeah, it's fun, but when it's cold, I don't know how people do it.

Yeah, dude, it's tough. Tough. The women out there are just like, ah! It's like Braveheart, you know? It's crazy. It's a lot of scary people up there, but they're good eggs, and they love their team, and they live for it. You realize how good we have it.

When you watch these people rooting for these teams, you're like, they need this. This is important to them. Buffalo's got an identity and culture. I feel like there's some other cities in that area where you're like this ain't this ain't right oh yeah syracuse that's a stinker rochester's rochester's got some moments got moments but i do remember nearly like we were veder and i were like we'll take a walk and then we i'm like oh yeah there's dealers on every corner we will get robbed. This is not.

And I told them, yeah, you 100% would have been robbed if you took that walk. Oh, yeah. It's one of those block to block. You're like, this is beautiful. Look at these old homes. John Kodak lived there. Then you go two right turns. How did it end for him?

Yeah. And you're like. The guy they named Rob as their dude, they're like, yeah, he commits suicide. Yeah. In his heyday. This is the guy? This is your guy? There's rumors he was gay.

Really? Never married. No pictures, though. The irony. It's a Kodak moment when he was hanging. All right. Well. Got sad there.

What about you? Where were you? I was in the city this weekend. I had a rare weekend in the city, just at cellar spots. Great. Nice. Lots of fun. Killer on a weekend.

Is it different for the weekend for you there? Because you're there during the week so often. But playing a weekend show, does that feel different to you? Yeah. You know, the village is an energy on the weekend. Oh, yeah. It's great, you know? Yeah.

Moved down there, so I'm like walking home now. So that's nice. Oh, that's right. Yeah. What an apartment, by the way. Have you been? No. Moved down there, so I'm, like, walking home now. So that's nice. Oh, that's right. Yeah. What an apartment, by the way. Have you been? No, come by. I almost blew you.

Did you? It is a panty dropper. Oh, dude, I didn't know it was that close. Oh, that's why I had to leave. I was like, all right, I faked a phone call. I was already on one. I was capper-nicking. Dude, speaking of my new place, I got a rec for you.

Peters, can you pull this up? Yeah. Or Salamancaca whoever has it got one of them uh toto toilets toto toilet cleans the butthole drives the butthole bidet a bidet yeah and uh yeah the toilet seat's dude really i'm like do you have the video i said that was a video is it of sam It's of me taking a shit. Oh, great. I want you to see it. Airdrop coming in.

All right, good. Wow. Now, did you install this? Of course not. Are you kidding me? No, it's like pipes and stuff involved. I'm useless. All right.

I paid a guy to do it, but... There it is. Yeah, let's see. Look at this bad boy. Whoa! Bad boy, see it in action. You're sitting on a computer here. Dude. Look at this thing. It's got lights and buttons. Look at that. boy. Whoa. Bad boy, see it in action. You're sitting on a computer here. Dude.

Look at this thing. It's got lights and buttons. Look at that. There we go. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, buddy. I like to get an out motion. Oh, hell yeah.

That's dangerous. I can hit the sack. Oh, no, it doesn't. It's in the right place. All right. Yeah, I mean, that's a strong stream, too. Really? The other day I came.

I'll tell you, it's a strong stream. Really seems to care. All right, all right. I got to get one of these. You can get one, dude. You got one? Nah. It's also, I mean, like, even if it weren't eco-friendly, I'd be into this, but it is.

So you're like, eh, it's kind of cool. I don't have to buy toilet paper anymore. Yeah, your ass is green. Oh, my ass is green, baby. Mine's pink. I'm wiping too much. I'm bleeding down there. I get the red paper. Now, anytime I'm going to have to take a shit in, like, a hotel, I'm going to is green, baby. Mine's pink. I'm wiping too much. I'm bleeding down there. I get the red paper.

Now, anytime I'm going to have to take a shit in a hotel, I'm going to be like, ah, what is this? I know. It sucks. It feels very primitive. And also, you don't have the wiping in the winter. There's something gross about, you know? Yeah, that's right. This just cleans the old butthole.

I want people to come over and take a shit. Take it for a test spin if you're not satisfied. I would love to. Yeah, come by. I could shit and blow you. Will you? Same time. Yeah.

Yeah. We're both getting squirted. I get squirted on both ends. I was friends with this girl for 15 years, and I just went to her apartment, and I went to take a leak, and she had one of those. And I was like, I've learned more about you in these two seconds than I've learned in our 15 years. Why?

Someone in this house eats ass, and I didn't know that. Do you think that someone definitely eats ass if they have that toilet seat? I think it's a big part of it, yeah. Interesting. Oh, yeah, you're cleaning house, you know, for the meal. That's not why I got it, but I mean, that's a bonus. You're about to join the club. Although, I'd hate to see that ass crack.

Just cut by the eyebrows alone. My butthole looks like Uncle Fester's face. to join the club. Although, I'd hate to see that ass crack. Just crunched by the eyebrows. A little. That's what it's gonna look like. My butthole looks like Uncle Fester's face. But the crack is like Questlove. It's got a pick in it. It's got a pick in there?

Yeah. Oh, you said this and we made the same. I'm an idiot. But yeah. Oh, and I saw the Charlemagne video. Tell us about that.

It was a killer clip. Oh, with... Pull it up. Dr. Umar? Yes. Yeah. It was three. It was you and clip. Pull it up. Dr. Umar? Yes. Yeah. It was three. It was you and two guys.

And Kazim from MSG. Yeah. I wish there was just two people on a panel just because you get not that much time on the show. Charlemagne's a great host. I mean, he's such a... No, it's not necessarily... He's a great host, but you get...

Oh, that's Brandi Chastain. We had her on the other pod that scored the game-winning goal for Team USA in the 90s. Oh, wow. Two rules, yeah. That's cool. Against China. No, don't play this. Are we going to get taken down for that?

There it is right there, the third one. This here? Yeah, oh, yeah. You don't have to play the whole clip. You don't have to play it. It's just cool. No, but, no, don't play it. Don't play it.

But, yeah, it was mad fun, dude. It was Comedy it. It's just cool. No, don't play it. Don't play it. But yeah, it was mad fun, dude. Comedy Central, it's crazy. That was Trevor Noah's last night. So we came on after him, and he was going on and on. I was like, oh boy, Comedy Central. I mean, they lost Trevor Noah. Now they're going to have a guest host, I guess. Yeah, yeah.

They're going to have Franken. That'll be interesting. Huh? Huh? What's that now? But yeah. Well, that's so, it's kind of,

there's a live audience there and that's old, that's kind of old school. It's funny, people, I love that. I do too. We're so used to that. That's like our comfort zone.

We kind of have to be on. Oh yeah. I was on so much freaking methylphenidate. What the hell does that mean? It's like concentrated Ritalin. Whoa. Is that what you're sick? It was popping.

What? What were you just hung over? No, I just fucking, I get nervous when they keep changing the topics day of and I want to have some jokes in my head locked and loaded just in case whichever way they go. Uh-huh. But I took too many, oh, I was sick last week, too. Fuck, everyone's getting sick here, man. Yeah, something's going around.

But let me just say it was cool because I was watching you tweet jokes about Griner when she got released. And then I saw the show, and it was a lot of the same stuff, and that's so cool to see the process. Yeah, well, that's what we all do. I know, but funny it should be the other way around you should be doing the jokes on stage and then tweeting because we have more followers on the social media than the 100 people you're performing for whatever the seller but yeah but we you know we don't give a shit about the tweet you know the tweets so it's like that's that's the workout for exactly it's an open mic basically what uh were you this weekend uh i guess we're back is this our new year's up oh geez geez we're gonna we're gonna be ready for this new year's i put together what do you got so the lady she did the whole wedding she killed it it was amazing yeah you guys were there so she's like you suck i hate you i'm done mic

drop you gotta do the honeymoon and i said ah shit all right all right fair is fair so we're going to africa as i mentioned but the dates got all fucked up because i'm booking it so there's like an open gap for three days before we go and i said fuck it we're going to amsterdam so i just booked two two tickets to amsterdam so you're going from amsterdam to africa yes is that how is that routing not great we gotta go through dc then up to buffalo no but some weird guys driving you yeah we got a guy on a boat some open micer you don't have to throw away the edibles for Amsterdam, though. Ah, good point.

Good point. But she's like, ah, so I let you decide where we go, and it's just right to whores. That's just fun. That's pretty good. That'll be fun. Yeah. It mixes it up. You couldn't be more different.

Africa, Amsterdam, that'll be. Exactly. Exactly. Is she excited for that? Oh, yeah. We've always wanted to go the canals, the weed cakes, the bikes, the people. Tallest people in the world, Dutch. Really?

Yeah. Not a lot of NBA players, though. Well, they're white. They tend to be. I'm sure there's a Dutch NBA, huh? Was Rick Smits Dutch? Maybe he was Dutch. The Flying Dutchman.

They call him the Flying Dutchman. Yeah, there we go. There you go. All right. Going Dutch. You think they hate that? I wonder. Going Dutch. That think they hate that? I wonder. Going Dutch.

That must be from them. Yeah, so I think I figured this out. I didn't look this up at all. But going Dutch, I think, means split. Yeah. Like Dutch doors. Split. We're going Dutch.

We're splitting the bill. There's another one, too. Give it a go. That's pretty good. I think that means, what does that mean? It gives you money? There's Dutch oven, which is when you fart under a blanket with a go. That's pretty good. I think that means, what does that mean? It gives you money? There's Dutch oven. Dutch oven, which is? When you fart under a blanket with a kid.

With a kid? It could be anyone. It could be anyone, I guess. Why is a kid involved? Well, I did it when I was a kid to other kids. I'm not R. Kelly-ing here. But it's kind of a harmless crime. It's just a scent.

Yeah, that's always like when you've been in a relationship Too long And you're just like I don't give a shit And you do it And they're like What the fuck And you're like That was for me

I'm trying to end this thing Every once in a while It's for me Yeah That's the difference Between men and women Right there It is amazing

How like early on The relationship You just won't fart And then cut to like Two months You're shitting with the door open It really is amazing Completely The comfort is that Where you're just like I don't care yeah i'll be shitting and i'm like

can you hand me my phone and she's like here you go you must fart on a first oh yeah well first date i don't know that's depends on the girl i gotta feel it out but yeah sometimes girls love it sometimes like michelle wolf if you fart around her, she is on the floor. She's like, ah! She's a comic. She's a comic. But some girls are like, all right, I got to go. This is crazy. Yeah.

Oh, I got another fucking wreck for you. New York City, winter, Sichuan Chinese. Oh. Get a little braised fish with chili sauce. I went with my brother the other day, and oh, my God. Fucking find a Sichuan spot. I love Sichuan. So good. Oh, my God. Fucking find a Szechuan spot. I love Szechuan. So good.

I mean, three of us have done it a decent amount together. Oh, yeah. Now, is this Christmas Day? Oh, I'll be doing a Christmas Day for sure, watching all-day basketball. You better believe it. I got a pee for you that goes off this, too. I was with my brother the other night. You ever run into someone, and you say, oh,, this is the bottom of the cellar with me.

And I go, oh, there's my brother. And they go, I didn't know you had a brother. You've never mentioned him. Oh, yeah. And it's like, who is this for? Right, right. You're not making either of us feel good here. Right, right.

You know what I mean? He's uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable. Yeah. You've never, ever mentioned. It's almost like he doesn't matter to you. And he doesn't exist. It's also calling out your relationship with your friend.

Like, we're not close enough that I would tell you I have a brother. It's called out like everything. Nothing good comes of it. But people do that shit a lot. Isn't that weird? They really do, yeah. I've had people do that with girlfriends. They're like, you have a girlfriend?

You've never mentioned her. I'm like, Jesus Christ. This is my other girlfriend. Yeah. She's like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, second date. We're making moves. All right, but yeah, people do that.

It's brutal. That's a real peeve. Good peeve. Peeve. Could be a bit there. I got some wicked peeve. But let me just say, as a rec, since we talked about men and women, Neil Brennan's special, he's got one of my favorite jokes I've ever heard.

He's talking about how men and women. He wants to come on here. He's coming on soon. Oh, he is? Yeah. We tried to get him last week, but you were gone and then I was sick. So it was kind of just like a no-go. Well, he's got a great bit about how he's talking about men and women

and how women don't do sound effects. He's like like i've never heard a woman do a sound effects you know guys come in with a story they're like you've never seen a woman do that i was like that is such a great observation i love a good observation brilliant brilliant so true it's weird when it's like it feels so good when you notice something too that you're just like oh no one's noticed this i know i love that i mean that's like half sometimes the the observation is like the hard part is then having a bit right well fuck this up this observation's so good how do i follow exactly because you almost can't even follow how good the observation is with a joke and it's harder to catch an observation when it's something you never see. You see, oh, this happens a lot,

but if it's like you never see a woman make sex, you're like, oh, yeah. It's harder to notice the ones that don't happen. That aren't there. Yeah, which is even more impressive. Yeah, then you go with the act out. That's a good one, though. That's a great. Yeah.

Where are you guys at with act outs? Because I was with a comic, and he was like, I've got three act outs. I'm trying to get it down to two. And I was like, why? It act outs i'm trying to get it down to two and i was like why it works yeah if it works i mean you don't want to be doing backflips as your punch lines i guess but if it works i'm a big fan of uh humping stools no i think if it depends on your act obviously right like for someone like me i'm not a big act out guy but then when you do one it sometimes hits harder because you don't normally do it.

Right. You know, like sometimes you heard an old Nick DiPaolo album or something, and he'll do a sound effect out of nowhere, and you're like, oh, I didn't know he could do that. Yeah. So it gets an even bigger laugh. Totally, totally. Style change. Yeah, but if that's the whole act, it's not my personal preference, but there are people who are great at it, so it can be really good. But three in an hour is not too much for...

No. I think it all depends on your act. No, of course not. I mean, how many act-outs does Prior do? And they're great. So if you're great at it, then you're great at it. Yeah. You know? I got a couple peeves here. First... Love it.

You ever get this one? This is kind of similar to yours. Where do they go? So I'm in Buffalo, and they go, oh, you live in New York City? Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you know Bob Johnson? I don't know Bob Johnson. All right.

What about Rick Simpson? I'm like, no, I don't know. And they keep asking me if I know people who live in a certain town. They're like, you were just in San Francisco. Are they comics? I don't think so. They're just like, oh, you know this guy? Because he also lives in New York. Or I'm going to San Francisco. Oh, oh, you were just in San Francisco. Are they comics? I don't think so. They're just like, oh, you know this guy? Because he also lives in New York.

Or, I'm going to San Francisco. Oh, oh, you're going there? Yeah, you've been there before? You know Chet Sanders? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know anybody. And now you feel like an asshole because you keep turning the guy down. You're like, no, no, I don't know.

I'd love to know a Chet. Yeah. We need a Chet in the rotation. Chets are tough. Chets are hard to find. Well, that's the bully in Weird Science. Chet. Chet. the rotation. Chets are tough. Chets are hard to find. Well, that's the bully in Weird Science. Chet. Chet.

It was like the scary white guy. Oh, Chet Hanks. Chet Hanks. He's funny. What about, yeah, that's a weird one. I don't like, and also it's like, do you know what the population in New York is? I know. Exactly.

Because the thing is, you go to some of these small towns and they do know everybody like i i had a you know we were in springfield missouri and my friend uh liam nelson is opening and he has all these girls coming to see him tall kid he's like seven feet tall and all these girls come out to see him the show he's hosting and the guy goes he said let me see a picture of her he goes i might have fucked. That's how small the town is. Oh, my God. And he's like, I haven't. We're like, all right. That makes sense. Small town. Small town.

I think people just don't know what to say. So like, oh, New York, I know a guy. Maybe you know him. We can connect on that. But now I just feel bad because I keep saying, no, I don't know him. No, I don't know him. Like, assume I know no one. Tell the story.

It is weird. I mean, New York is, why would you know just a random person? If it's in your field, I get it, because comics, we know most comics. Right, sure. But, yeah, that's a definite annoying peeve. Brutally annoying. And I think he was also trying to show me that he knew a lot of people. He's like, oh, I'm friends with this guy.

You know him? What about this guy? He works for him. You know that guy? It's like, I don't know anybody. Before we go, have you ever seen this Chet Hanks clip? Oh, it's great. He was on Z-Way and she tried to get him to apologize for his Jamaican accent. He does

a fantastic Jamaican accent. Oh, does he? I mean, like, spot on. Anyway, she tried to get him to apologize for it. Can you make it louder? Hold on. Can you make that louder, Peter? I can't really hear it. I'm sorry, all right. Uh-oh, this is bombing worse than a Franklin clip.

Franklin, shit. Huh? All right, that was a big huh. All right, never mind. Yeah, it's a great clip. I've seen it. It's really funny. Yeah, he's an interesting guy.

Oh, yeah. Is his mom Rita Wilson? I don't think so. Oh, are there other Hanks's? I thought it was a nuclear family. I feel like she would set this straight. Nope. It's his mom.

Oh, it is his mom. Yeah. Wow. Uh-huh. But Colin Hanks, that's not his mom, right? He looks just like Tom. And a hell of an actor, Colin. He's really good.

He's good. Orange County was underrated. Oh, yeah. an actor, Colin. He's really good. He's good. Orange County was underrated. Oh, yeah. Great cast, too. You got like John Lithgow, Catherine O'Hara, Jack Black, obviously. But I'm like, damn, this is like kind of a stacked comedy cast. Was that fairly? I don't think it was fairly.

But they had a fucking run. Orange County? Yeah, they had a run. Underrated. Then they came around and did Green Book. Green Book? Is that right? Yeah, they had a run. Underrated. Then they came around and did Green Book. Green Book? Is that right? Yeah.

Yeah. He has another one out with Woody Harrelson. He's coaching a team of mentally challenged kids. And I'm like, all right, this is a tightrope walk. Jay Kasdan. I wonder if that's- Oh, he's done a lot of shit. Kasdan's son.

He is. Really? Yeah, Lawrence Kasdan. All right. Screenwriting extraordinaire. Hey, there we shit. Kazdin's son. He is. Really? Yeah, Lawrence Kazdin. Screenwriting extraordinaire. Hey, there we go. Didn't he write Body Heat? Mike White? Whoa!

From White Lotus. He's in it. Oh, is he? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's also in School of Rock. That's another great one. Another great one.

Dude, that's like Jack Black's greatness, where you're like, how many people can have done that role well? Exactly. He fucking killed it. That was like right after High Fidelity, I feel like it was a breakout, but then School of Rock, it was like, oh, you're a fucking star, dude. Yeah. Man, he killed it. He really popped, and then I feel like he's kind of fizzled. No, he's fucking, he was in the Jumanji movies.

He's in Tropic Thunder. Oh, yeah, he was great in that. Dude, pull up, do you see the clip of him in the new Weird Al movie? Oh, did you see that? I just watched a few clips my friend was showing me. The clips are so fucking funny. I gotta watch. I'm a huge Weird Al fan.

Dude, pull up, just go to like two minutes in. Are we allowed to play this, Peters, or no? All right, go to Another One R one rides the bus because Jack Black's in this scene no no go to go to weird out weird out movie another one rides the bus it's fucking incredibly funny how they do this so apparently movies very tongue-in-cheek like they're doing all the tropes all the cliche mocking the biopic exactly every clip I've seen is, I gotta watch the whole movie. It looks hilarious. Oh, I grew up loving this guy.

Me too, dude. Eat it. Yeah, this is the scene, I think, but can we get better quality? Uh-oh. Why is the audio working? Yeah, fuck it. Why are we even trying this?

Oh, shit. Is this gonna work with our guest later? Our guest is not going to. Oh, that's headphones. Oh, maybe we have to put headphones on. Nothing. Nothing. All right.

I'll do it for you. Well, I got one more peeve while you queefs are doing the tech. How about this? And this is where I become a cunt. But you ever walk into a restaurant and right before you open the door a group walks in right in front of you and it throws your whole chipotle day off because they gotta go in the line and they go what do you have here oh i was just in almost in front of you and now my whole day you knew what you wanted yes the slow order sliding

in oh the slide in it's same it's same thing when you're what you wanted yes the slow order sliding in oh the slide in it's same same thing when you're trying to get in the on the you know oh here it is yeah you got it now he challenged them to write a song off the cuff and says you can't do it and that's the guy from queen the bass player oh wow so he's saying you can't come up with a song for another one uh bites the dust with a song for Another One Bites the Dust. Yeah. Conan. Another one rides the bus. Another one rides the bus. Hey, hey. Another one rides the bus. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I mean, Harry Potter's playing it like Jack Black.

Yeah. That's true. It's really a fun idea to mock biopics because he's mocking. It's like it's meta. Yeah, it's the parody guy's doing a parody. I feel it. It is kind of clever. What a weird Al.

And, I mean, damn, Jack Black is never not amazing. He's a talent. He's so funny. We were at the roast, remember? We went to his roast. That's right. Schumer brought us. That's right. That was fun.

That was fun. That was fun. That was kind of old school. It was midtown, a lot of old roaster guys there. That was awesome. Yeah, to go off your peeve, though, I mean, the guy who slides in front and doesn't know what the fuck. This is a city where you better know what the fuck you want. Yes.

And you better know how to do shit. When you're trying to get on the subway and the guy slides in and then they just, it's always a dude who doesn't know how to work a metro card. I know. He's like, uh, what? And you're like, I had it. Yes. I fucking had it. Exactly. It's kind of like when you go to the grocery and some guy's got 900 carts and you're like, dude, I got one

pair. Let me get through with the pair. And he's like, alright, you go with the pair. They should be allowed to do that with restaurants. Like, hey, I know what I want. I'm in, I'm out. I'm a pro. You've never been to uh, what is it it just a salad or whatever the hell this place is called sweet green it's it is it's just lack of awareness like you ever see the guy on the uh like i said yesterday it was it was raining it wasn't like super hard but it was hard enough to be annoying three people in a row they all have umbrellas. They're blocking the whole street.

And I just watch a person trying to get around them the whole time. And it was like a chaplain thing. This woman's just like, just like so annoying. She's like, right. And they didn't even notice her. It was hilarious. Oh, that's good stuff. These umbrella people are, they're menaces.

I get somebody walking by, I go straight up. I go, you guys got it. And then the people that they try to to weave through people with the umbrella. I'm like, that's a sharp thing. Oh, yeah. You can take out a fucking eye with that thing. I know. I know.

Now everybody else ends up bobbing and weaving for your umbrella. All right, last one. Love these people. How about this guy? The guy who can't answer a question with a yes or no. You go, what are you from? You're from Denver? He goes, well, you know, it's a long story.

I actually was, my parents, they met in Saigon, you know, in 88. And I'm like, get to it. All I need to know is Denver, yes or no. You got me, you had me, it's a long story. That's a peeve. It's a long story. What do you think a peeve. It's a long story? What do you think this is? Your fucking coming out party?

Just fucking tell the story. And I don't even really give a shit about where you're from. I was just trying to make a small talk, but you made it big talk. It's a long story. What is this, a 10-part Netflix series? Yeah. Don't make me a murderer of this shit. Just tell me the fucking story.

Give me the trailer of the story. Yes, trailer. More trailers, less full-part series. Right. It's like your bit with the YouTube where I want to tap the fucking story. Give me the trailer of the story. Yes, trailer. More trailers, less full-part series. Right. It's like your bit with the YouTube where I want to tap the guys forward. Like, let me just get to the meat of this here. I don't need the full parents meeting. And it was everything.

I'm like, how much time are you doing? He's like, well, you know, I have like 40. I'm like, just say 20, 30, 10. I don't need to know how much time you have total. Who are these people you're opening for you? You know, there's another one. It's like, I always want to do, but I never did this, but like about how the, you ever tell, like someone's telling a story and you're just like, oh my God.

And it's like, it's like an Uber. It's like you're calling an Uber. Oh yeah. And then you're like, how long is this going to be? And then it's like, it's like when you look down, you think it's gonna be like four minutes when you look down, you're like, now it's nine minutes. Matt Ruby has a joke about that. Really? Yeah. Yeah. This was like years ago. I wrote this premise. I never, I never did shit with it, but it was like, I was like, oh, it's going to be like four minutes, but you look down and you're like, now it's nine minutes? Matt Ruby has a joke about that. Really?

Yeah, yeah. This was like years ago I wrote this premise. I never did shit with it, but I was like, oh, this is like, I don't know. He said the only way I can explain to you how time lapses when you're doing mushrooms is like you're looking at your Uber app and your Uber says it'll be there in four minutes. And you wait three minutes to look at it and it says six minutes. You're like, how is this possible? It's time travel. See, Uber's a cum guzzler because if you're not ready when the Uber's there,

they cancel, they charge you, but they can just keep going up in time. I'm like, you said six minutes at 1111. Oh, and they cancel on you all the time. And then they cancel on you. How about I get $5 if you cancel? Exactly. Yes. Where's your penalty?

No penalty. No penalty. No penalty. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Is that the right expression here? I've heard that, I think. I got another wreck. All right. We're in wreck peeve, Moe, because it's been a while since it's just been us.

Yes, we're loaded up. I was watching TV the other day. Almost Famous comes on. Oh, I love this movie. That's a great movie. Great movie. Philip Seymour Hoffman, that movie, holy shit, he's funny.

So good. Golden God, Lock the Gates, Penny Lane, Maren, yeah. So good. That movie, you feel it. That's a real Cameron Crowe. She's wonderful in it. Kills it. Kate Hudson is so good. It's a great movie. That's her peak, I think. She's wonderful in it. Kills it. Kate Hudson is so good. It's a great movie. That's her peak, I think.

I think that's where she peaked. Yeah, yeah. Well, she was in a lot of bad movies after that. But she's still- Don't be her peak, then. Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. I mean, when you do a shitload of big commercial blockbusters, I mean, they all-

This was like her artistic peak. Okay. How to lose a career in 10 days. Oh, my God. But, yeah. I think she's doing all right. She's doing- I'm joking. But I've got think she's doing all right. She's doing, I'm joking,

but I've got a thing for her and her mom. Isn't that fun when you want to fuck both? Do you still want to fuck Goldie Hawn? Oh yeah. Really?

Oh, I would do it. She's got to be up, how old is she? She's got to be 90. Would you bang a 90 year old Goldie Hawn? I would definitely take old Goldie.

Oh, look here. Oh. Oh yeah. Yeah. I've done worse. You take a Goldie shower? Oh. I was going with Oldie Hawn, but yeah I've done worse. You take a Goldie shower? Oh, I was going with Oldie Hawn, but yeah, that's good. She looks like Bruce Valanche, but yeah, I'm not opposed.

She's got the big mouth. I love a big old mouth. She got implants over the years. A mouth implant? No, no. I'm going to give her a mouth implant. She got bosom, breast implants, these things. Yeah, and is she still with Kurt?

I think so. Wow. That gives you hope, huh? He's a hunk. That's a cool Hollywood marriage. Great couple. Hopefully he doesn't listen to this podcast or he's going to go hateful eight on your ass. Hateful 80.

Do we get an age? Oh I'm sorry no But yeah she looks I would still do her Obviously I'd do Kate 77 She's up there Hey

Underrated Good chick flick Everyone's one of those That's a chick flick That's actually a good chick flick Oh yeah First Wives Club Really?

Solid Peters Salamanca, anyone? What do you think? Goldie. Diane Keaton. Diane Keaton. And Bette Midler.

Midler, hey, that's a good trio. No Bette Midler? 1996. I think it was pretty funny. Yeah, I've actually never seen it. It looks like a Nora Ephron. All right. All right.

We got a lot of range on this part. I got another. Oh, oh no don't play the whole trailer what happened how did we get the audio going though now i the uh i gotta did i did i mention the fatty arbuckle thing last week with ari or no oh i love fatty arbuckle did i mention this book called frame up about roscoe fatty arbuckle yeah the trial about how he was like fucked over and his career was ended and he didn't do this is the most cinematic book i've ever read i'm like how really in a movie the stories are insane it's like literally you know the worst childhood horrible horrible dad and uh there's a story about him going to... He goes...

Takes a long train ride to go live with his dad after his mom dies. And if you don't know who he is, he was a big silent movie star. The biggest silent movie star. Huge. Most highest paid before he was framed for killing a woman. Maybe the first... What was his shtick as a movie star? He was the fat guy.

Yeah, he invented the pie throw. Wow! Isn't that crazy? And it's hilarious the way they write about it. Like, Fatty could throw pies all sorts of ways. Behind the back. Like, he could do all kinds of throws. But he's a kid.

It's like the most tragic childhood. Oh, yeah. He takes a train ride to see his dad. And his dad, I guess, owned this hotel. And he went there to go see his dad after his mom died and when he gets there the dad had fled town because he heard his son was coming so he sold the hotel so he goes in there and they're like oh poor kid so they feed him and they're like laughing at how much he eats and then they have a talent show one night and he goes on and sings and they're like holy shit

he's got an opera voice he's incredible and course, it's like classic showbiz. Once he starts blowing up, the dad is like, Sonny boy. Oh, wow. It's so dark. But, yeah, crazy. And, by the way, a woman that he did all these movies with, her name, Mabel Normand. Whoa. I wonder if there's any relation.

But, I mean, all the stories. Like, the studio head was fucking her. And then, you know, it was on and off again. He never fully committed to her, and she walks in on him with another woman and hits her head and had to have surgery, and she was never the same. She hit the other woman. No, it hit her in the head. Something landed on her. She hit her head somehow.

It wasn't completely clear, but she's never the same. So what's the frame up? Is it the bottle incident? The rape thing? Yeah. How is he framed? I don't know. I haven't finished it yet. I'm like 150 pages in, but it's great.

Where's that movie, by the way? They should make a movie with it. It was supposed to be Chris Farley. Oh, that would be something. But it was like a Hollywood party is what I think. Let me finish the book and I'll tell you. Crazy that dad. Just started this and it's great.

The lengths the dad went to hide from the sun. Selling a hotel and all that shit. Terrible person. Insane. It's a kid. You could just say, ah, he's full of shit. He's deranged.

Shout out Dana Gould for telling me to pick this one up. It's a good one. Hell yeah. He's obsessed with this story. Great comedian, Dana Gould. Follow her. He's been posting great clips on Instagram. Oh, yeah.

You sent me one the other day. It's killer. So good. So good. Love the Gould. One of the best comics working. Gotta get him on here. Oh, me one the other day. It's so good. So good. Love the Gould. One of the best comics working. Gotta get him on here. Oh, that'd be great.

Oh, yeah, and The Simpsons. That guy's got such a resume. Great resume. By the way, I've been watching Family Guy. It's amazing what they get away with. Yeah? They are dark. Which one?

Which clip? Oh, well, there's so many, but I just saw the one where it's like the Olympics, and it's a row of runners, and they shoot the gun, and all the white guys take off, and they're like, hey, look at us, we're doing great. And then the black guy's like, all right, I guess we should start now. And then they take off, and the white guys are like,

they're going to get our wallets. But it's wild. And there's three other jokes I'm forgetting, but good stuff. Yeah. It's funny, but black'm forgetting, but good stuff. Yeah. It's funny, but black dudes love that show. Oh, yeah. I remember we'd watch it. I went to Sixers basketball camp in Philly when I was like 17.

I went for like a week, and we all were just in this bunk with one TV, and we would just watch Family Guy every night before bed, and it would fucking murder. Oh, isn't that the best? You've never seen people laugh at this shit like it was like it was like back in the day when you go to a movie theater yeah there aren't many movie comedy movies you go to a theater and get the laugh i love it you know what movie i just saw that's killer the banshees of in a sharon oh i'm dying with colin farrell yeah i'm dying he's

phenomenal and brandon gleason it's that playwright, Martin McDonough, who made all those plays, you know, Pillow Man, Cripple of Anishinaan, The Beauty Queen of Linnane. I'm sorry if I'm butchering the names. Yeah, it's dark as fuck. Oh, yeah? Is it funny like the other one? Yeah, it's funny.

Great. It's weird and funny and uncomfortable as hell. I was out with my mom, and she was laughing really hard. Oh, shit. And there were parts where I was like, this is funny to you? Wait, let's get this clip real quick, because this is a classic. Oh, what is this? Excuse me, ma'am.

No porn at the bar. Oh, it's okay. I'm transgender. Oh, I had no idea. Do whatever you want all the time. Oh, my God. What did he say? It's okay. Do whatever you want all the time. Oh, my God. What did he say? It's okay.

Do whatever you want all the time. That's pretty fucking great. That's comedy for you, folks. Damn, they really get up for Fox. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're grandfathered in. They are.

It's like South Park family guy. They're kind of just like, sorry, this is what we do. Well, once you throw married with children out there, 20 years ago, people were like, all right, we're out. You guys just run the asylum. We can't even touch this shit. So good. It does seem like there's a sad thing now.

And look, you can look at it either way. But a lot of people are going back to Seinfeld, going back to The Office. The Office is like the number one show, and it's 25 years old or whatever the hell it is, maybe 20, 10. But it feels like we've got to go back a little bit to see some comedy sometimes and that's a bummer i guess stand-up is really moving but shows i don't like all these articles were like wasn't it the viral thing with mindy cameron yeah all these characters would be canceled i'm like they're characters i know and you wrote them and you're rich on it but it's just weird to me when we're

like these characters will be canceled it's like yeah that's we're laughing at the characters right exactly i don't get why this is yeah that's a great point i it's so strange to me it's like um all in the family number one show in the world hilarious show we're laughing is the guys of fat idiot like he's a racist bigot, and we're laughing at him. Yeah. That's part of the fun. Yeah. I mean, it's weird how we have to.

And you just see how much the goalposts is, like, coming. It's, like, more in the last 10 years, probably, than in any 10-year period. Oh, yeah. Comedically. For sure. Well, it's social media, I assume. Because now everybody can be like, no, no. And then corporations Are like alright

That's what it is We don't wanna get in trouble Yeah They're more scared than ever But whatever I mean we're We're having fun That's why it's great

To be a comic You really can do it If you want Yeah and For the next Whatever two years This podcast shit lasts And then we'll be

Out on the street By the way 100,000 subs On YouTube Oh Hustletop Hell yeah That's what Fatty Arbuckle ate has shit last. And then we'll be out on the street. By the way, 100,000 subs on YouTube. Oh. Mazel tov. Hell yeah. That's what Fatty Arbuckle ate.

100,000 subs. All right. Buffalo, I mean Buffalo, I almost said Buffalo Trace. Bodega Cat Whiskey. Yeah. Suck it, Buffalo Trace.

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We're everywhere, everywhere. I mean, this is good whiskey. Hell, yeah. Get some quick. Get on the Patreon. And I'm a little excited and nervous about our guest. This guy's a big get. We've never done a Zoom, but he's in L.A., and we figured, you know,

we just had a special come out. It'd be cool to have him on. So he's our— Mark? The Italian himself, Sebastian Maniscalco. So we'll be back in a minute with Sebastian. Oh, yeah. Welcome to Hoodie Hour with Mark and Sam.

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Let us know, Peters, and we'll start going. Hey, hey, folks. Here we are with our first Zoom guest. We're honored to have you. We're big fans. Sebastian Maniscalco, everybody. What's up?

What's up? So do you normally do this on the – was there an option to come sit on the couch with you guys? Yeah, we're in New York. We'd love to have you. Oh, you're in New York. You're in New York. Okay, that's fine. If you're in New York, come by and have a drink with us.

We got a full bar, you know? Oh, yeah. We're alcoholics. Do you drink, Sebastian? Yeah, yeah. What's your drink? I'm a wine guy, but if I'm not doing wine, I'll have a tequila on the rocks, but that's kind of where I live, in those two neighborhoods.

Yeah. Well, you're so busy, you can't be hungover anymore. I could be hungover. But you have a full day. I feel like you must, especially now with a special out, you're doing, there's a full on. I see you everywhere. I turn on my TV.

I'm like CBS Sunday Morning, Sebastian, everywhere. So is that exhausting right now? Well, you know what? i'm not really busy right now i mean i kind of did all that press leading up to the release of the special but now i'm just chilling out hanging out at the house i got two small kids five and three so uh yeah right now right now it's not a busy time for me it It was, but I'm taking some time off touring. I think I'm going to take about a year and a half off and just kind of relax, live my life a little bit

because I've been kind of burning with touring for the last, you know. The only time I took off was really COVID, so now it's time to take off again. Yeah, I mean, please take off because we have the same manager, and they keep comparing me to you. Like, well, Sebastian did about 38 shows on saturday and i'm like come on i can't move the tickets it's a little different yeah um no it's not a pressure to sell tickets you know when you're out there you always want to like you know fill the room make sure uh people are buying tickets uh so yeah it's a little nerve-wracking.

Yeah, I mean, I saw you at the Garden, I don't know when, eight months ago. And then you did the Barclays, and then you did Prudential in Jersey. I was like, this guy's an animal. I didn't know there was that many guineas in this tri-state area. I'm telling you, man, I'm pulling them out of the basement. When I come to town, the whole Italian community apparently comes out, which, you know, is nice. I mean, it's been, you know, I did a couple of jokes early on in my special that I didn't really know would land because I thought they were too specific to the Italian community. And I'm really glad I did because it brought a lot of those people out to

the shows uh so uh yeah the italian i got the italians on lockdown oh yeah and the jewish wife that doesn't hurt hey you know you bring the jews over too and you got a nice little arena oh yeah oh yeah what do you or temple you uh your rise was kind of old school and kind of quiet. I remember like when you first started selling out of clubs, I would hear about it. And I'd be like, oh, I've never I don't know this guy yet. And they'd be like, oh, he sold out this many shows. I was like, yeah, it was the first thing that really popped you up. Was it the Vince Vaughn comedy thing? up was it uh the vince vaughn comedy thing so when i did that uh that that came out in 2008 and that kind of uh launched me into just headlining clubs for you know what i think was like a thousand dollars a week or fifteen hundred dollars a week whatever the pay was

and i got to quit my job waiting tables and and that's kind of what put me into just working as a comedian and then you know every year you know you guys know you do a club and then the next year you go back to the club and more people come and you know it just kind of happens over a course of for me it was about 10 to 12 years just kind of hitting the club scene and and and really working at it and then uh yeah so you're right there was no like big tv film or anything that kind of launched my career with stand-up was just kind of just doing stand-up comedy that's impressive it's very it's very old school It's a few people like that I mean, it's like you, there's Gaffigan Regan

Regan, Burr is like that, I feel like But it's hard not to blow up these days without something else Yeah Especially now with these podcasts A lot of people do a podcast It becomes extremely popular And if they're stand-up comedians, they then, they tour off the shoulders of their podcast and the podcast listeners come out to see them do

stand-up. So I think that when I came up, I started in 1998, there was really no other outlets for comedians. I mean, social media wasn't as big as it was now so the way i just went about it was if i'm going to be a comedian i'm going to have to get up on stage every night and kind of work at this and um and that's that's kind of the way but but now it's it's a whole different game i mean you got you got people calling themselves comedians uh when i hear the word comedian i don't know how you guys look at this i just I just think of stand-up. Right. I don't think of like you're funny because you're doing something on your Instagram page. I just, I look at it as strictly stand-up. But comedian, I think over the last five to seven

years has become very broad. And there's a lot of different opportunities for people who are funny uh that are excelling through these channels and platforms that maybe weren't readily available 20 25 years ago totally like you know will ferrell obviously hilarious guy tried stand-up and was like this is too hard and i i love that i secretly selfishly i'm like hell yeah bitch you can't do this shit we're in the trenches it's hell we're getting heckled the drunks check spot chicken wings come on does any party you miss that now that you're you're doing arenas and stuff does any party you like man it was it was kind of fun fending off drunks late show in tampa is any any part of you miss it?

No, I love the comedy club experience. I think that's the way comedy should be enjoyed in a comedy club, 200 people, 250 people, whatever it is. You lose a lot of that intimacy once you start doing a theater or arena. You don't have that kind of connection you might have with a small group of people. So, yeah, I mean, I live out in Los Angeles,

love going to the comedy store while I'm here and working stuff out. Those nights are actually the most enjoyable nights for me is the kind of comedy club working out the material opposed to showcasing it in front of a large audience. I still like the comedy club days. Yeah, I i mean i used to see you at gotham and mazilli the owner of gotham would always tap me and go like this guy's the biggest guy no one's ever heard of huge and you would sell out like six shows yeah gotham was uh one of those clubs that was, I don't know, it was really good to me. And then I didn't even, I was a little apprehensive to move on to a theater crowd because I'm like, I don't even, you know, I'm selling out a comedy club, but I i possibly could but it got to be a little bit

tiring you know doing two shows a night right for six seven nights it was just a little too taxing not not not like i'm breaking concrete but you know just you know when you're talking up there for you know two shows a night your voice you know gets gets shot so um yeah, the comedy club is no better experience. And you're also performing. I mean, you're really putting on a show. I mean, I told my agent I was sick as hell in Phoenix a few weeks ago, and I did the show. This is how I perform.

I talk like this. This is it. It's monotone. It's no performance. I said, if I were Sebastian, this weekend would have been fucking crazy. If I had to actually perform and do real you know because your your new special is one thing i really like about it is like you're like an old school guy you're in vegas you it's old vegas the vibe you get people in the crowd to dress up yeah there's something really old time like almost out of place in time about it you know

yeah i've always been an older soul you know growing up uh even in my early 20s i was you know i just felt like i was older than my years and for this new special i decided oh you know what entertainment to me has kind of i don't't know, used to be like something about it. When I was growing up and I was watching, whether it be a performer, singer, comedian, whatever, it just seemed like even before, even I should say not growing up, before the 50s, the 60s, seemed like it was just uh entertainment was like man where where is Hollywood it didn't even feel like it was a real place and there was like a mystique about it and I think over the years that mystique has kind of been lost and I was like oh you know it'd be cool to kind of pay homage to that time by doing a special and wearing a tuxedo I was a little I don't normally perform in a tuxedo and it was a little

um I wasn't as physical as I normally am just because of it was a little restricting performing Plus, I had gained some weight. And performing in the tuxedo was tight. So, yeah, it was a little bit more of a different vibe than I normally would do. But, you know, as performers, and you guys well know, it's like sometimes you get a little bored doing kind of the same thing day in and day out. You want to mix it up. You want to try new things. And, yeah, it's just kind of like evolving as a comedian. Hair, hair, yeah.

I just got married, so I also know what it's like to perform in a tuxedo. But let me just say this. you know but let me just say this we got a connection here and i uh i gotta ask you about this because i only share this with a few people jerry is a fan seinfeld i think he likes me i'm too scared to text him what's your move i want to i want to build a bond with him but i i can't i don't want to bother him i wrestled with this so you're not alone thank you i don't think jerry seinfeld is much of a texter oh um not that you will not get a text back, but I feel like talk about old school. This guy's like a I want to talk to you. Right. Okay. So, yeah, I in the beginning of our relationship with I didn't know what was appropriate.

Right. Like. Like, can I go, hey, did you see the game? I didn't know what. It's like a hot chick. Yes. You're just like, don't fuck this up. Don't fuck this up. Yeah, exactly. It's a good analogy.

When he came to your show, I remember being at Gotham, too, and Chris Mazzilli was like, Seinfeld came to see Sebastian the other night. I was like, whoa. That's huge. Were there people that come to your show i remember being a gotham too and chris mazzilli was like seinfeld came to see sebastian the other night whoa that's huge what is that were there people that come to your show does it ever throw you off when it's someone like that or are you ever a little extra nervous well when he came i was actually excited because you know i've been a big fan of seinfeld since i was a kid so when he was in the room i wanted to you know make sure that i brought my not that i don't bring my a game but like when he was there i'm like oh jerry seinfeld's here i'm gonna smack him in the mouth with this material uh so for him it was a little bit more like excitement. Sometimes when somebody's in the crowd, I can't say that I worry about it. I don't really worry about it.

No. All right. But do you still chat with him? I was in his movie. Whoa. Well, yeah. What do you play in his movie whoa well yeah he who what do you play in the in the movie i play a security guard at the uh pop tart it's about it's about pop tarts right i'm a security guard at the pop

tart factory and when i went in uh again i'm i'm a little nervous doing movie roles just because that's not what i do day in and day out now i go to the set i sit down and he's directing and he's also starring in it so the scene had himself myself jim Gaffigan was in the scene. And I start doing the lines and he would say, cut, you flubbed the line. And now in my head, I'm like, oh, shit, I'm screwing this up. And I go, what did I say? He goes, you said guy and the word is man I just I just would I said it like I would probably normally say it but here's the thing about Seinfeld he wants it word perfect how it's written is how you say it and I was screwing up the lines because i was just doing it the way i would normally say it

and i start getting in my head and i start sweating now i'm sweating nervous and uh i'm starting to smell like bo now i don't smell. I don't have BO. I've never had it. I don't wear deodorant. I just don't emit odor when I sweat. So at lunch, I went in and I talked to the wardrobe and I go, I don't know if you've ever heard this before, but I think the jacket that I got on has BO. but I think the jacket that I got on has BO.

And he goes, no, it's an older jacket because it's a period piece. So it's like, it's takes place in the sixties. So I'm wearing like this tweed jacket and sure enough, he's like, we've heard about this. Let me blast the jacket with this commercial grade spray. I'll leave it out in the sun and maybe that will do it. So I put it back on again. It didn't do anything.

It still smelled. So I had to tell Seinfeld and the rest of the actors, listen, if you start smelling me, it ain't me, it's the jacket. Yeah, so that's the last time i spoke to seinfeld there hasn't been really any communication but if i were you i would maybe start picking up the phone and giving him a shout what's going on how's it going because he loves to talk comedy right okay no it just feels bold to just, hey, ring, ring. Hey, Jer.

To our generation, it is bold. Yeah, maybe. If someone calls me, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. I want to text. Right. But if Jerry Seinfeld called you, would you go, what the fuck are you doing? No, I would punch my wife and kick her down the stairs and answer the phone.

No, I would punch my wife and kick her down the stairs and answer the phone. No, I say you go with the call, man, because the texting, you're not going to get much. OK, this is big, but that's going to take I'm going to have to prepare for three hours, meditate, take a walk, have a list of topics. Well, if there's a reason to call, I would say you don't just call and ask what's going on. I would call and ask him with like a specific question or because you know what? This guy's been through it all on the stand up side and the TV side. So having him as a friend and kind of a mentor is really a real add value in your life. Just because if you ever had a question about anything in regards to stand up, what a guy to have in your pocket to talk about it.

Totally. No, I'm, I'm honored. Just the fact that he knows my name is insane. Uh, one last question or whatever. I don't know how much time we have,

but love the special. I felt like you've done how many now uh that was my sixth special wow this one felt like you were the most uh open you opened up like you let the crowd into who you were more than you because you're so observational but this one i felt like you kind of like all right i'm being me screw it, I think that's just growing up and evolving as a comedian and being extremely comfortable on stage to share things that maybe you weren't able to share 10 years ago. Maybe shed some light on some of what's going on in the world

and poke fun at it. Yeah, so I appreciate you saying that it was, you know, still growing as a comedian, still learning and, uh, still trying to challenge myself. So, uh, you hope, you hope people enjoy it, you know, uh, as a, as a comedian, when you put out these specials, you hope it does better or people like it more than they did the others. But, you know, and i'm not a big

review guy i don't look at a lot of things that what people say or or whatnot but i skim some of the comments on this special and i noticed like some of the core fans were like oh we like when you are a little bit more physical or or animated this one we didn't really care for that much. But I think in the course of a career, and I actually heard this from Judd Apatow last night, that it takes 10 years for something to find its legs. You know, you can judge it right now, or anything like a movie, but maybe when you watch the same movie 10 years from now,

it has a different effect on people so i don't think it's you know i don't know you just put it out there and and however it lives it lives yeah and you got to do you i mean bill burr saw the the he said that about george carlin he's like this guy would reinvent every special and he's like i don't care if you're coming with me this is kind of who i am yeah i think and also you're kind you're getting you are kind you don't have to look at reviews when you are focused testing this material by touring throughout the right you're getting a read i mean this you do it long enough we have a thing on this show we mark and i complain a lot a lot of pet peeves a lot of your stand-up is pet peeves yeah you have a lot of complaints about the world

one that sticks out to me which i can't believe it's never made it on here is you used to do a bit about dudes and flip-flops are there any any pet peeves recently that just about humans that just bother you uh you know what bothers me and i don't know if you're picking this up as we're talking here. Ring lights. I'm not into people. I got one on right now, but I don't like it when I'm watching something and I could see the ring light in the person's eyeball.

Oh, yeah. Bothers me. I can see that. eyeball. Oh yeah. Ah, there's me. Another thing that bothers me is face timing in public with no earphones. Crazy. That's a great peeve. Should be killed in the street. Psychos. Who is that? I don't know. I just, I don't know. I think there's gotta be like a technology edit etiquette class implemented into the public school system, teaching kids how to, you know, behave with technology and what's appropriate moving forward. forward yeah i was on a flight the other day the guy's doing the music just on his phone no headphone it wasn't even like listening quietly just full blast you're like there's other people

around what do you think this is oh it's even more awful i've had the guy do the facetime next to me without headphones and i was like i'm i can't move i can't move away from you i'm stuck listening to your boring on a plane station yeah i mean at least if they're doing the street which it's still awful right and get At least you can get away. True. The hostage situation, public FaceTime, inexcusable. Yeah. Awful.

I agree. I got to ask you, too. I mean, you got a movie coming out. De Niro's playing your dad. I'm sure you've been asked this to death. But, I mean, first off, insane. Insane. Second off, any good de niro stories so um well de niro

wanted to talk to my father because he's the the it's autobiographical the movie um it's basically uh it's a love letter to my father and And De Niro wanted to talk to my dad about how he holds his cigar, how he wears his hat. What does he do when he's cutting hair? Because my dad's a beautician. So he said, I want him on set for the movie.

Now, my dad is still cutting hair. He's 76 and he's still cutting hair. So he goes to the set and De Niro wanted him close to mine. Now, my dad is like, I got to go back home and work. So my dad and De Niro kind of became, I don't want to say friends, but you know, they had like a, you know, he spent three days with him in Oklahoma. He spent some time with him in Alabama while we're shooting. And I'm sitting there looking at this and i couldn't believe my dad is teaching robert de niro how to do a dye job on this i uh i co-wrote so yeah it just again when i got into comedy in 1998 i could have never imagined that you know de niro would be playing my father in a movie which again was like anxiety

I had so much anxiety uh during that whole process because you know I'm working with arguably one of the greatest actors of all time and uh I just want to do do my best so uh yeah I lost a lot of hair that's insane and then I'd be so worried about my dad's a big dork so i'd be worried about what he would say to deniro you know uh cape fear that was scary like shut up dad what are you doing to me yeah i mean that's that's insane and you had a great part in the irishman too i mean that's some comic representation sebastian norden oh Oh, yeah. Was that a thrilling thing to be a part of? Yeah. I mean, again, ironically enough, the first scene,

the first day I'm shooting that movie, it's in the Copacabana. What they did was they took Gotham Comedy Club, they rented it out, and they changed it into the Copacabana. So that scene is actually at Gotham. We were talking about when Norton's playing Don Rickles, that scene. Yeah. Wow.

So that's at Gotham Comedy Club. And it's the first comedy club that I ever performed in in New York City. So it was kind of like a full circle moment where moment where man I started doing stand-up here whatever 15 years ago now I'm doing a scene in the same club with uh with De Niro and Pesci and uh yeah I mean crazy man come on I was like I had posters of these guys on my growing up and now I'm in a scene with them. It was, it was, it was really a great experience. It was, it was an acting lesson too. I mean, they, they really,

really kind of helped me through the whole process. Oh, amazing. All right. Let me ask you, we'll wrap it up, but you're doing great. Multiple specials, selling tons of tickets, millionaire is the wife ever happy? The wife is, yeah, the wife, I got to know, the wife is always happy. My wife walks around with a smile all day long. It's me that's the problem. I just got to learn to relax and enjoy the experience a little bit more.

I don't know if you guys feel this way. Sometimes you got to smell the roses. You can't always be worried about like what's next or what are we doing next? Sometimes you have to enjoy what you're actually doing because before you know it, it's over and you look back and you go man i wish i would enjoy that moment a little bit more right so i'm trying to be more in the present because i'm a big thinker i'm always thinking down the road so that's the uh that's the the the the goal moving forward is to be a little bit more uh just enjoy is it possible to do that as a

comedian though because i've heard people say that and I, and Mark and I are similar to you where it's very hard for us to take small victories. It's very hard for us to, to feel joy. I think part of it is just like the curse of living in your head. I mean, that's where we come with material. So it's like, you're going to overanalyze shit. Yeah. You know, it's, it's like a blessing and a curse you know it's what you need as a tool to be a comedian is the constant thinking but then that also could like uh

bite you in the ass if you are constantly in your head so it's trying to find i guess that balance where you know you could uh enjoy life a little bit more and not constantly uh hyper focus on things yeah well and you're also a great uh example of someone who moved to la and stayed funny all right sorry i had to get an la knock in there oh god well i appreciate you guys having me on the show and for reaching out. So, yeah, next time I'm in New York, maybe we'll call Seinfeld and go out for a cup of coffee or something. And come in studio.

We'll get you some good wine, natty wine, whatever wine you like. We'll get tequila. We got a bartender here. So whatever you want if you're ever in the city. Hell, yeah. Check out the special. Is it me? Netflix, Vegas, tuxuxedo it's a hot one

thanks guys i appreciate it have a happy holiday you too man enjoy your time off got it bye-bye comedy hey folks we did it that's it uh hot app we got sebastian we got uh road talk peeves i got another peeve oh please i hit another peeve. Oh, please. Can I hit another peeve while we're here? Hit me. People who say, have I ever done this? We drink on this, so I can never tell what I've done. But people who say, yo, I might fuck around and do this. Like, I might fuck around and watch this movie later.

Just tell me you're going to watch the movie. Yeah, it's never that crazy of a thing. Yo, I might fuck around. It this movie later just tell me you're gonna watch the movie yeah it's never that crazy of a thing yo i might fuck around it's never good either so i never i might fuck around and volunteer at a soup kitchen that's true it's never like productive that's true yeah i might fuck around eat a full pizza that's easy it bugs no, I get that. I might fuck around and read a book. Just go do it. Why do you have to tell me? Yeah. No, I'm with you on that one.

I might fuck around. Get out of here. I also hate when people go, when you're like, hey, do you ever go to the bank today? He's like, look, I'm not trying to go to the bank. I'm not trying. You didn't go to the bank. What do you mean? You got to try to go to the bank. Just go to the bank. You don't have to try. Yeah What do you mean? You got to try to go to the bank. Just go to the bank.

You don't have to try. Yeah, you want this egg roll? Hey, I'm not trying to get diabetes. Well, no one's trying to get diabetes. Just do it. Or don't do it. By the way, Happy New Year to everybody. Thanks for listening to We Might Be Drunk.

We're thankful for Salamanca, for Peters, for Gotham Studios. Beer Jew. Beer Jew, Jamie, everyone who's a part of this, and for you. And for you. Yeah. Oh, Jamie had a kid, by the way. The kid is out. Yeah, so it's cute.

Cute little guy. Cute. So congrats to her. Was she pregnant last time she was here? Yeah, she covers it well. She was throwing them back. Wow. Yeah, she was.

That was weird. She was trying to kill the thing, you know? Yeah. Didn't take No Apparently not Anyway The kid's hands

BodegaCatWhiskey.com Tour We're on tour I got OKC It's my last club Before it's all theaters So it's you know Austin

We added a second there Please come out Yeah Austin Paramount Yeah That's a great theater New Orleans Austin Dallas Tulsa I can't read St. Louis Austin. Paramount? Yeah. That's a great theater. New Orleans. Woo!

Austin. Dallas. Tulsa. I can't read. St. Louis. Dallas. St. Louis. Vegas.

Vancouver. Vancouver, yeah. Portland. Seattle. Salt Lake City. Salt Lake City. Huntington, New York. Huntington, New York.

We just added that one. Long Island, maybe. Atlantic City. It's a great theater. I opened for Jim Jefferies there once. Oh, wow. Royal Oak, Michigan just added that one. Long Island, maybe. Atlantic City. It's a great theater. I opened for Jim Jefferies there once. Oh, wow. Michigan, Minneapolis, Madison, Milwaukee, so many more. New Haven, Boston, out of the third.

So please come out to that one. Miami, Orlando. You'll go to samro.com. Coming everywhere. samro.com slash shows. Hell yeah. All right. You heard it here first, folks.

I'm going to a uh special next year early next year so i got a bunch of hot rooms coming up i gotta prepare and polish this son of an onion so i'll be at zany's in nashville doing a ton of shows blue note in hawaii and i'm going back to the clubs miami improv sp, Spokane. Is this to build back up? Build back up, yeah. Build back better. And what's that? Comedy at the Carlson.

I'm going to the rooms, baby. I'm going to Jacksonville. I'm doing all the shit boxes. So you heard it here first, folks. I'm coming to your dog shit town. Buy tickets to one of the shit boxes. Yeah, you know you need a laugh in that horrific city you live in. And I'm coming to it.

I'll tell you that right now. Rochester, you name it. MarkNormanComedy.com. Get a bottle. Happy new, happy holidays. Get a hug going. Be grateful. Bring in the new cheer.

Let's cool it with the anti-Semitism. Thank you to Sebastian. Yes. And keep listening. Subscribe. We're over 100,000 subscribers on YouTube. And you're listening on the audio, too. So we appreciate you guys.

Hell yeah. Sunday's the day for my next bender. A bit of Pivarec. You know the beer juice close. I've had a little too much bourbon. And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like a cop's coming

And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be true