We Might Be Drunk - Ep 121: Sam Jay with Gin & Tonic

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Looking for a comedy podcast that's sure to leave you in stitches? Check out "We Might Be Drunk" with hosts Mark Normand and Sam Morril! In this episode, they're joined by the hilarious comedian Sam Jay, who's known for her multiple comedy specials and recent appearance in the Netflix movie "You People". As they sip on Gin and Tonics, the three comedians dive into a range of topics, from their personal experiences in the comedy industry to current events and more. Mark and Sam's quick wit and hilarious banter are on full display, while Sam Jay brings her own unique perspective and humor to the conversation. Want to join the fun? Use the hashtags #WeMightBeDrunk, #MarkNormand, #SamMorril, and #SamJay to connect with other fans of the show and keep the laughter going. Whether you're a die-hard comedy fan or just looking for some lighthearted entertainment, "We Might Be Drunk" is the perfect podcast to brighten up your day! Support the show and get up to 33% off some sweet new metal art with the code DRUNK at https://displate.com/wmbd?art=6247414ceddb3 Save 10% by using code DRUNK at https://www.tryfum.com/ Visit http://babbel.com/Drunk for up to 55% off learning a new language. Mark Normand: http://marknormandcomedy.com/ Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/shows Sam Jay: https://www.instagram.com/samjaycomic/?hl=en Shop: https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com/shop Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod http://www.bodegacatspirits.com We Might Be Drunk is produced, recorded and edited by Gotham Production Studios. Head producer: Matthew Peters https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/

Hey, hey, folks. Here we are. We might be drunk. We're back. I hate dumb babies. Oh, say it again. We got Sam J here. We're talking peeves. What? My pet peeve is, like, dumb, dumb kids. Oh, yeah. So just kids. No. I think there's kids who, like, you you look at them and even if they're doing kid shit kids are gonna do kid shit yeah but they got like life in their eyes and you can tell

wheels are turning and they're thinking in there and then there's these dead in the eyes just like dummies yeah and i hate when people bring me those type of kids and want me to engage with them because i'm like i don't there's nothing i could do with this like the kid is dead in eyes you're carrying that entire interaction yeah and i already don't, there's nothing I could do with this. Like, the kid is dead in my eyes. There's nothing going on. You're carrying that entire interaction. Yeah, and I already don't really want to interact with a kid. No. But, like, at least let them be.

Will you never have kids, do you think? I don't think so, no. But you're in a serious thing. Mm-hmm. And you have been for a while. Yeah. But kids, it's come up or no? I mean, yeah, but we're, like, lesbians.

But there's ways around it. I know, but that's what I'm saying. You have to make so many decisions, and mean, yeah, but we're like lesbians. But there's ways around it. I know, but that's what I'm saying. You have to make so many decisions, and I just don't think we're going to make them. That's a good point. It's not like an oops. That's what I mean. It's mad decisions and choices, and I just don't think we're ever going to get there. If you did adopt, would you go different race?

Like maybe a Chinese? That wouldn't bother me. All right. That wouldn't bother me. I used to just joke about how i was gonna adopt the chinese baby um because that's how lesbians show that they got money and people people got mad at me that's funny people get mad over everything right hey but who's people is that the audiences get mad no like i think people like when i say people get mad it it's like, it's always usually after the joke is out somewhere, and then you're like, how dare somebody say that on

a Saturday night and make people have a good time? It's like, all right, bro, you're watching this Tuesday. You're coming in at the wrong time. Yeah. It's literally like someone opening the door during sex and being like, well, I wouldn't fuck you. And like, I'm not asking you to. Exactly.

What's the problem? Yeah. But, no, well, I wouldn't fuck you. And like, I'm not asking you to. Exactly. What's the problem? Yeah. But no, yeah, I would adopt another race. I always think maybe later in my life, I might like adopt like a teenager or something. But then just cause you know, I was like a teen with no parents and shit like that. But, and then I think like, I don't know,

teenagers is just a lie and I don't wanna have to stab a fucking 14 year old cause they acting crazy in my house. Yeah. You want to establish the dominance at a younger age. Because if they act up, it's like you really got to stab them or something. Exactly. A teen comes in hot.

That's right. You're missing this part of their life and you're going right to this. That's tough. Yeah. But the teens, no one wants them. Once an adopted kid gets too old, it's like a dog. That's why I would thought about doing it. Right. Because that's the ones who get left the most. And an adopted kid gets too old, it's like a dollar. That's why I would thought about doing it. Right.

Because that's the ones who get left the most. And you only have to put a few years in. You know, you're 18 now. I did my two years. Yeah. Good luck out in the real world, fatty. Why are they fat? Oh, wow.

He calls everyone fat. Oh, okay. I was like, dang. That's like his old buddy, old pal. Yeah. All right. Plus, the fat ones don't get adopted either. So he want to help them out, too.

Is it like the pound? Do you walk in and kind of point at the one? Is it like the pound? I don't know. I remember I was talking to a girl once who adopted a dog, and she goes, I said, did you adopt one? And she goes, none had that it factor. Wow.

Thank you. That's a pretty horrible thing to say. I don't think you're going in with the right attitude. Well, I knew a girl. She would adopt a dog and hang out with it for a week and go, it doesn't feel right. And she would bring it back. I was like think you're going in with the right attitude. Well, I knew a girl she would adopt a dog and hang out with it for a week and go, it doesn't feel right. And she would bring it back. I was like, you're killing this dog. People did that during COVID. That's messed up. It's like, if you adopt

it, you gotta stick with it. But that was a big COVID thing. Yeah. I feel like a lot of people were like, I want a pet. And then they got back to their regular life and were like, never mind. Yeah, totally. That's pretty fucked up. Oh, yeah. Kevin Iso did that. Really? Yeah, he was bringing the dog to shows and stuff for a little while and then i just i was like what happened to the dog he was like i

gave it back dog i was like bro what here's the question can do that with a kid i think you can actually really but yeah i'm pretty sure that you can damn that'll fuck a kid's head up yeah would you break up do you say it's not you, it's me? It's tough. I don't think you can bring a kid back. I think you can. Different orphanage. That's what I'm saying. If you can give up your real kid for adoption, I'm pretty sure you can give an adopted kid back. Right?

There should be a trial period. Or your biological kid, I should say. You take a car for a test drive. Can I get two days with the kid? Now you're talking. Can I see if we vibe? That's a good question. I don't know. I like that. You're thinking about having a kid. Yeah, I gave it a couple years. You're married now, right?

Oh, yeah. That's crazy. Crazy. I never thought anyone would want you like that, Mark. That's why I did it. If she was the first person to say it, I would. Are you married? It'll never happen again. I'm engaged. I'm engaged. Whoa! In the lesbian relationship, who proposes to who? I mean, I was like are you married it'll never happen again I'm engaged I'm engaged whoa congrats in the lesbian relationship who proposes to who I mean I think it's different

for every couple but I happen to be the man in my relationship unfortunately so the shit falls on me but I can't speak for everybody

it's different for every situation you know you do the one knee the capper neck I do the one knee I do the whole thing. Nice.

Yeah, I know what type of lady I'm marrying. She wants the whole show. I did it too. It feels weird. I was nervous. It's scary. Even though I knew she'd probably say yes, I was still freaking out.

I was pretty confident, but still, maybe not. Exactly. What did you do, a dinner, or what did you do it? I did it at my birthday party, which it was like my birthday was kind of like to hide the fact that it was really an engagement. Wow. That's nice. How long you been together?

I've been dating my fiance off and on for 15 years. We met in college. Holy hell. Damn. So the sex is over. We're not doing it a lot, but when we do it, it's bomb as fuck. All right. That's what i'll say like we don't fuck

a lot but it's really nice when we do fuck because it's like oh yeah your pussy is fire as fuck it's like you forget and then you're like oh shit no this shit is fire you know what i mean it's kind of it weirdly brings you back to each other yes oh hell yeah right this is this is why i'm in this into this as much as i'm into you like as a person you got fire pussy and i forgot about it was that the proposal do you know those wallace that light on fire get a ring that just blows up yeah fire pussy yeah damn a fire a fire pussy love a fire pussy but yeah it's it's great when you when you uh have that sex that old sex again and it comes back and you're like oh yeah this is what we were doing 15 years ago and i think now we're like we're at a place i think before it was like you gotta grow up you

know so at some point it was just like this contentious place where she'd be like why aren't you fucking me and i'm like stop making this my job you know what i mean like it just becomes like this weird back and forth. But now we're both at this place where we're like, we just want to be fucking more. So we're both just like doing things and making the effort to make sure that happens. And that's been working out like pretty fire. Like, we went to the Poconos like six months ago to like fuck like poor people. And that shit was fire.

We got a hotel with a circle bed and the nasty ceiling. And it had the champagne glass jacuzzi top. Oh, wow. I like that. Yeah, and everything was leather.

Like, all the couches, everything was leather. Oh, good. And we had a pool inside the room. Damn. A pool?

Yeah, like a little door you open and it had a little heart shape. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, sure. And then we just fucked like nasty people.

Well, it's something about a hotel. Because at your house, you get sick of fucking there. It's the same routine over and over in a hotel. You're standing up. You're scissoring. You've got to take the pussy to other spots. Exactly.

I'm saying that. That gets you really. When I take my girl out of the country, then I'm like, I want to see what this pussy do in Paris. You know what I'm saying? You got to travel the pussy around. So true. It's so nice to just throw a condom wrapper on the floor and be like, someone else will deal with it.

I don't use condoms. It's my dick's plastic bag. I'm talking about us. No, it's nice to make a mess of a room and not. Oh, dude, I'm jizzing on drapes. That's crazy. Oh, hell yeah. That's fire.

Yeah. I wish I could jizz. You can't squirt? I can't squirt, bro. Oh, give me an hour. An hour? That would make me depressed. If you were the first person to make me squirt,

I would have to reassess my entire existence. Yeah, that would fuck up your psychology. Wait, wait, wait. Mark does this. Comedy. Oh, boy. Squirter. I did it.

Yeah, squirting. I feel like nobody mentioned squirting until 1999 and now it's all it's like eating ass it just came in one day yeah and it's like a big debate is like now like i see on the internet of lives like men be like mad like all of it ain't squirts it's right and now there's this argument is it pee or is it squirt yeah and i think i think the amount of women who are saying they could squirt i think some of them pissing. I think so, too. Because it feels like it's a real skill you got to hone. Oh, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Because as a woman, the pressure point feels the same. You know what I'm saying? It feels, when you feel that, even if there's a big dick in you and you're like, ooh, you feel a dick, you're like, I got to pee. And if you don't, that's when the pressure kind of makes you feel a little pee peeish interesting i guess it's pressing against your spleen give me the same feeling when your spleen's full baby i don't know you never done that i believe you it sounds like you got the real fast are you a gold star gay no okay so you dabbled with the the male

all right the male you lost your virginity. We did that podcast together where we talked about you lost your virginity to a guy. I lost a basketball game. Yeah. Ooh. Point guard? Playoff game. Oh, wow. No, I was watching basketball while he was inside of me.

Big Celtics fan. Wow. I've seen you roll in with your Jalen Brown jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's your guy. I'm a big Celtics fan. I like Jalen Brown a lot. Yeah.

Damn. Well, when you were doing it, were you like, this isn't for me? Nah, I don't think I had the, like, I was young and I didn't really know what was for me. I just knew, like, I didn't hate boys. It wasn't, when it was happening, I wasn't like, ew, oh my God, I feel so gross afterwards.

I was just like, yeah. Yeah. This is fine. And then I had sex with, I didn't understand what people loved about sex. I was just like, it's fine. Right. You know what I mean? Like, that's

where i was with it like my homegirls were like and it feels so good when you feel it in your stomach and in my mind i'm like i don't like that part i don't like feeling in my stomach or like that's not cool to me but like it's fine yeah but so i didn't have that like association with it and then when i had sex with a woman and i was like oh yes, it's fire. You know what I mean? Yeah. I just, you know, it was a little bit clueless. Sure. Well, we have the same sexual history. I started with a guy and then women.

It is weird to start that way. It is weird to like for the first, your first sexual experience is just not what you like. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But you don't know what you like yeah yeah that's true but you don't know what you like either so i didn't know that i didn't like it as much as i just was like i'm not feeling how everybody else is feeling right you know i mean but i didn't i i mean i came and stuff oh wow but i was just like i don't know it's it's fine yeah i don't need this to happen but it's a different come when you're with a woman oh for sure for sure. For sure. For sure. For sure. For sure.

But now you say you're the guy and are you doing all the pegging or whatever you call it? The strap bonding? I don't think it's called pegging when it's a woman. Oh, well, what do you call it? We know what kind of porn Mark is watching. You guys had me pegged all wrong. What do you call it with a lady?

It's just a strap on. Oh, a strap on. It's called sex. Sex. Okay. Yeah. But you're behind. Sex. Okay. Yeah. But you're behind, and you're doing the pumping. They don't got to be behind.

I like to look my girl in the eyes, baby. What's up? Not me. I'm a lover. Oh, yeah, no, I don't get strapped, if that's what you're asking. You don't like it? I mean, I'm good. All right.

I'm good. I like the power dynamic i got going yeah i don't need to add no no crazy shit to my to my household yeah they should make strap-ons that shoot a little load or something they do it's like spider-man you just shoot like this you like hit a button and they're like really yeah what is it bang it's little flag. Some of them is whipped cream. Whoa. Some of them is like a fluid.

It's all very stupid. That's a tough one to break out of the dinner table. It's very dumb. It's a lot of make believe going on to pretend. Sam has that button that's just in his butthole.

Milk the prostate. Oh, yeah. There's like the, they got vibrate straps, all types of shit. Whoa, man. man yeah we have a friend i don't know if i'm not gonna say him we all know him but he's a big peg guy really loves getting pegged and now i can't see him different i see him differently now wow yeah i'll tell you

after i wonder who it is oh very close really peg that's fire it's matt interesting yeah i mean i don't i can't say i would like maybe when i'm old and shit because Really? That's fire. It's mad. Interesting. Yeah. I mean, I can't say I would. Maybe when I'm old and shit. Because I feel like your sexual appetite changes over the years. Whatever. So I don't ever say no, never to anything.

I ate pussy. You know what I mean? So I know I'm open. Right. You know what I mean? But as of right now, I couldn't really, I couldn't see that. Pegging is like oysters. You can't come out of the gate with oysters.

You kind of have to develop a palate for it, you know? You don't see a 16-year-old eating oysters. Yes, yes. But if you're a little older, yeah, you give it a shot. But then they say a woman's sexual prime is mid to late 30s. Like that's when you're the horniest. Oh, like 40s or some shit yeah 40s too yeah okay it's a weird design because we're 18 19 20 now i'm still horny i mean i am too but

i think too like it might have something to do with biologically like uh your clock oh right and like your body feeling like hey we need to reproduce maybe yeah the shot clock's winding down you gotta fucking make a move i know i definitely like feel that now where it's like my body is going because i've never had kids and like my body is going into like hyperdrive it's like and is your body saying i want kids it's like you need to do this you need to get you need to get to it like my periods are a lot worse than they've ever been in my life because i feel like i'm producing way more estrogen and shit during that time because my body is like girl we need to we need to make something happen even women's bodies are passive-aggressive that's crazy we make something happen yeah

like my periods are crazy now like when i was young and girls would complain, oh this, that, I didn't feel shit. I'd have a three day period, I'd be like, this really ain't that big of a deal. And now I feel nauseous, my titties swell up, my nipples be sore. It's like misery, it's like misery. And I know it's my body being like, bitch, have a baby.

Being a woman's hard, man. Oh yeah, biology's the ultimate misogynist. Make a baby now, you know what I'm saying a woman's hard, man. Have a baby. Oh, yeah. Biology is the ultimate misogynist. Make a baby now. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, right? It's like, no. Damn. Yeah, my lady's got the IUD.

So no period. Shooting all over the place. That's good. All good. I'm happy for you. Shooting up the club, that's what we call it. It's Orlando in there. It's Pulse.

Yeah, but then she has to do the waddle to the toilet, which is always awkward. You know. Oh, for what? Well, if I shoot it, this is getting graphic, but if I shoot it in her, it's going to fall out. Oh, it definitely falls out. The IUD falls out?

No, no, the jizz. Oh, yeah, yeah. It slides on down. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So crazy. If the IUD comes out, I was like, that would be terrible. No, no no never seen

that shit but you can feel that thing sometimes on your head paper clip yes oh yeah yeah little pee hole action yes that stinks and it's kind of sharp it's sharp yeah it's awkward yeah not a fan i'm sorry mark but you know we were just just You said this shooting thing And I was just watching Saved by the Bell Like just was on TV today That Screech New or old?

Old one But Screech would have been A school shooter today Oh yeah The shit he went through He was just In love with a girl It never works out

Lisa Lisa Yeah that's the one I saw Like Zach is kissing Lisa Oh Screech always gets A little feelings hurt I know But that's always That's also like a, Zach is kissing Lisa. Screech always gets his little feelings hurt. I know.

But that's also like a good lesson to these new kids that act like nothing's supposed to hurt their feelings. Like, that nigga Screech was a dog. Because he used to just get his feelings hurt. Everyone was always kissing on his bitch. And he still hung out with them niggas. He still was like, yo, this ain't personal. You know what I mean? I just happen to be a nerd now.

He had no choice. This is just the world he also was like this is as good as it's gonna get yeah Screech was cool and then he also like

he just allowed himself to grow in that and then he became the principal remember like he took over oh yeah really

yeah right that's what nerds do they tend to win in the end yeah they struggle in high school I don't remember I didn't stick with it that long

oh the college years the college years. The college years. He was a principal? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was like a... Well, high up there. He worked at the school and shit. Exactly.

That's how it goes. You bully these kids all day, then before you know it, they're the CEO. I did watch college years, too. Oh, yeah. It's the edge of tomorrow. It was so bad. It's crazy how bad the writing was.

It felt like you could whip that script up. It was great. Oh, yeah. But you have to think, it was writing for our young brains. So it was good. I feel like kids need more of that shit. I'm like, I don't know. I see what they watch on Disney Channel now, and I'm like, ugh. Our shit was like, it had depth.

Yes, it was a little more adult. Hell yeah. Remember when Jessie was on the drugs? Yes. She was trying to study. I'm so excited. And she was all spun out. Just kidding. No dose. Word. Jesse was on the drugs? Yes. She was trying to study. I'm so excited. And she was all spun out. Just kidding.

No dose. Word. She was fucked up. There's no time. There's never any time. And Slater was like, Jesse, you need to fuck. Slater wasn't having that shit. No, no.

Yeah, see, that is drug addiction. It was like racial tension with Lisa sometime. It was heavy stuff. Hell yeah. Family matters, too. Yeah, I used to love that. I used to, I mean, shit. I was just watching the old clips

because I was thinking Larry Johnson. Remember, he was cross-dressing. That was ahead of his time. Grandma Ma on Family Matters. And Duncan. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and one- Gave us insight to the future of the WNBA.

Right. One guy became a porn star. One of the girls on the show. Screech became a porn star. Yeah, that's right. Dustin Diamond became a porn star. of the girls on the show Screech became a porn star yeah that's right Dustin Diamond became a porn star I'd say he was a star he has a huge dick that's all I know

does he? oh really? Screech is packing heat that's the whole thing good for him he earned it he needed something that was the whole deal

his dick big whoa and he stabbed a guy Dustin Diamond stabbed somebody oh yeah pull it up Screech was kind of badass so maybe he kind of did turn into a school shooter. School stabber.

Whoa! Told you. He's got meat. Damn. He's got a cut, too. He's got abs. Six pack? Screech has abs.

Is that him? His face looks a little different. Well. All right. More close-ups here. I think that's Screech, bro. Damn. Not a bad hog

Really became a school shooter People were like Screech got good Got good meat That's what I heard Yeah God he needed something Good for him

That must have been a tough You just You're watching that show And you're like If any one of these characters Dies first I got my money on Screech It also has to be tough

To be Screech And have like this huge dick And then every day For your like role They just emasculate you And you're just like With a giant dong in your pants and you have this huge dick and then every day for your role they just emasculate you. It was like, giant dong in your pants.

I'm sure he got laid though. Like in the early 90s, I'm sure he was, you know, he was on TV. There was some novelty fucks coming his way. He was getting butt for sure. But Zack Morris

was definitely getting bad at bitches and I'm sure he was like, my dick bigger than his though. And how about Slater? I mean, he was fucking epic. Slater is the man. Still looks good. AC Slater. Looks better now than his, though. And how about Slater? I mean, he was fucking epic. Slater is the man.

Still looks good. AC Slater. Looks better now than he did then. You have any Slater stories? Never sat in a chair frontwards. Just a goddamn, the coolest guy on the planet. Tank tops to school,

guns out. Cut off a plaid shirt and shit. A shag. Yeah. The curly mullet's rough. Come on, man. That's a bad look. He was a hunk. As people of color, we call it a shag. We don't have mull Yeah. The curly mullet's rough. Come on, man. That's a bad look. He was a hunk.

As people of color, we call it a shag. We don't have mullets. The curly mullet? We don't have mullets. It's a shag. He's a white guy, though. No, he's Hispanic.

Lopez. Look at that. Look at the dimples. Come on. What a hunk. Come on. A little cut off of football.

Oh, yeah. Showing a little stomach. Uh-huh. Get the fuck out of here. The shag. He's still ripped. He's on ET. I would have

fucked slater for sure really damn would he still fuck slater not now is there any dude that you'd get a hall pass for oh like who i like love yeah yeah what if jaylen brown was like i want to fuck you i don't like those type like it's like when i think about the fucking guys it's like it's not usually the guys like i like admire it's usually like i have a very particular type it's not that type uh-huh i like i like dreamy white guys like you gotta be classic california like blue eyes like a hemsworth yes like dreamy yes okay give me like that give me me that. Or you got to be like, hmm. I got like Paul Rudd. Oh, yeah, he's cute.

There's a fact that he's kept it together, do something for you. Because he's in his 50s, but he looks great. He looks amazing. I'm attracted to older women who have kept it together. Who I saw at the Knicks game and I had to let him know. I was like, you fine, for real. What'd he say? I was like, sir, I am very gay,

but you are very fucking fine. That's the ultimate compliment. He's fine as fuck. Really? I don't normally like your gender, but for you I'd make an exception. Oh my God, he is fine. It's like classically,

he's just very good looking. He's a handsome guy. He just oozes like, fuck me. What did he say when he said that? He just laughed and smiled and I got wet. So he's still got some stuff in there for the guys. I mean, I think there's a level of hotness. It's just like, who doesn't?

Yeah, I hear you. You know what I mean? It's like, you fine, man. Yeah, I'm not into dudes, but if I see a good looking guy, I'm like, whoa, that's a handsome son of a bitch. Yeah, like, you fine. And then you have to think I took dick, so my pussy remembers. It's like, hey. It's true.

It's like pussy flashbacks. Yeah, the pussy never forgets. It's like an elephant. Damn. Yeah, you ever hooked up with a guy? I made out with a boy when I was a kid. Whoa! It's in my special, that bit. You know the bit.

Oh, that's right. How old were you? I was in second grade. Oh. You were just figuring shit out. I was pretty innocent. Like a full make-up, though? Like tongue?

Yeah, we made out. You can remember this tongue. Yeah, yeah. Who is the boy gay now? I don't think so. I think he's just weird. I think he just kind of grew up to be kind of like a curious kid. I'm curious because I'm weird, you know?

How did you leave feeling? Do you remember the feeling? I remember telling my mom, I think I'm gay and my mom was like, you're not. She was just like, I know you're not. She didn't even let you be interesting. She was just like, I know you're not. I can tell, I'm your mom.

She didn't even allow you to be interesting. She would have been fine if I was, but she's just like, I know you're not. No, i'm your mom allow you to be interesting she's like she would have been fine if i was but she's just like i know you know that's what i'm saying it wasn't like uh you can't be gay it was more like you don't got it like you don't got it she said the same thing when he wanted to be a comedian she's like you don't have it i know you think you're interesting but no baby no but i definitely uh i would have taken it further with this kid. He was kind of the prude. I was like, I remember I said to him, I was like, what do gay people do?

And this is how much we knew about homosexuality. He said they rub dicks. And I couldn't get a hard dick at that point in my life. So I was like, I said, let's do it. And he goes, no. I got shut down. You got rejected. I would have taken it to that place if he

yeah i got rejected second grade is not really boner time no but i think i just was like well this is in my head you were really liking this dude i liked it i he had big i feel like he really liked this kid he had big pouty lips he was kind of feminine i think that's why i like deterred him from being gay. This rejection, you might be gay deep down inside. Yes. When this early rejection fucked you up. I look back at it and he had pouty lips. He was kind of chubby, so he had tits.

And I was thinking in my head, this is the closest I can get to a girl right now. He's hairless. He was hairless. Yeah. You're not gay, you're just a pedophile. Hey, folks. We Might Be Drunk is brought to you by Fume. Cold turkey is delicious, but cold turkey is a terrible way to break your bad habits.

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and can access podcasts, games, video stories, and even live classes to help you on your way. Plus, it comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee. That's pretty good right now get up to 55 off your subscription when you go to babbel.com slash drunk that's b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash drunk for up to 55 off your subscription babble language for life You were just in the movie You People. You had a big role. I haven't seen it yet, honestly, but I heard it's... Well, then we're not gonna talk about it, Sam. Why? I don't know. I saw it. You were great.

Thank you. Yeah. No, I heard you were hilarious in it. It was fun. It was fun. A lot of good jokes in the movie. Yeah. It was fun. Can't deny that. I had a good time. Yeah. I mean, what a cast. Yeah. I mean, Eddie Murphy and Julie Lee Dreyfuss, two titans of comedy. What was that process like?

Did you audition for it, or were they just like, we want you? The second one. That's pretty damn cool. That's a nice place to be. Did Jonah write it for you? Who's the other writer? Kenya and Jonah wrote it together. They originally wrote the role for a guy and then um kenya just called me

and was kind of like yo i got this part and i think you could be dope and um that was it damn real shit in there yeah some real facts about racial relations in our country that i wasn't ready for okay that's cool that's dope the muslim jews stuff you mean that's stuff yeah yeah yeah it's fun let's dive in you know we're getting away from that in comedy let's go back to that where we just talk shit yeah go go towards the the shit i mean that's what like honestly out of out of all of it that's what kind of attracted me to it at all was like they are trying to have an honest conversation yes in this as much as you can in a hollywood vehicle with all the hollywood tools kind of twisting it and turning it they're they're they're trying to pull a real conversation and like a real dialogue out of this shit and that

was like super interesting to me hell yeah that's about time because we got all kinds of shit going on and then we we can't discuss it i think it just gets weirder no the it's almost like a relationship you know when like it's getting weird in the relationship you don't discuss it it just keeps getting more weird there you go talk about it it's just gonna fester and it also creates extreme energy on both sides of things well that's the problem with not having all these news networks. It's all just for one group of people, and then you just get angrier and angrier, and that's social media now.

It is. Everything's happening in a silo. Right. Did you see the Jon Stewart thing where he did the lab leak thing a year ago or whatever with Colbert? Last week he showed the backlash he got. And he's like, look, look how bad this is. Everybody says I'm anti-Asian, I'm racist, I'm alt-right.

I didn't see that. I thought you were talking about the gun interview. Oh, that too. Well, he said it was made in a lab on Colbert. And Colbert was like, well, I don't know. He was nervous. And then it came out that it probably was from a lab. And he's like, well, look, I was kind of right.

And everybody trashed me. But that's the problem. Like, I was just having that conversation. I'm like, everybody has to make a choice to tell the truth and not this choice to not make people upset. Yes. On both sides. People are just fucking be honest. Because now, truly, and from reputable news sources not just like wild people screaming things into like a twitter sphere right reputable news sources at this point are saying

yeah we're pretty positive this came from a lab yes and we're pretty positive this is the situation right which on some level isn't that better yeah that that it was an accident but it's like also i don't know when that happens the the the fucking liberal media and liberals in general who when trump who i hate most of his opinions right but when trump was saying this is probably some lab shit right and everyone was like you fucking dumb fucking dummy you're so fucking dumb exactly you have a responsibility to say hey we were fucking wrong i know no one will ever go back wrong this was actually not that dumb because when you don't validate and step up and own your mistakes and own whatever the what the truth is you're compromised what you do yeah what you do is then

value validate the extreme right who's like, don't listen to nothing. None of them say eat a horse tranquilizer. Nobody knows what the fuck they're talking about. You know what I'm saying? You fuel that fire because you're not holding to honesty and truth. No matter good or bad for you, you have to hold that beacon, especially if you're like news or any type of source of validation that we look to as a society. Because all that misinformation from both sides just creates distrust. And then you can't fault these people who are middle America sucking down horse tranquilizers or not believing shit because it keeps coming to be that this shit ain't true.

I think even the people, even saying it was horse medicine is like kind of misleading. Of course. But the you're right and that's kind of where we're at now, right? I mean, I think they got so caught up with hating the messenger in Trump that even if there was a message that had truth

to it, they became obsessed with just and you have to say, you know, though we disagree with this person, there might be some truth to what he's saying here and that's actually how you keep your viewers long term hating the messenger with anybody yeah they hate the messenger with anybody everybody's caught up in hating the messenger to the point where like knowing some of the truth and that's dangerous when it's news sources in the fucking government like these are the two things like like society needs these things to be honest yes it's the metric so if you don't have that no one knows what the fuck to believe i know the problem is also that they get their ratings by saying outrageous shit to keep

you on the channel when there's a 24-hour news cycle you keep people watching by saying outrageous shit and that outrageous shit is often like a real a news channel that would be reputable and actually trustworthy would be kind of boring probably ah but but now it's entertainment no that's of course it is like when i was in um uh europe i did this joke and i'm sure mad other people if you are a comic and observant you did this joke but i was like y'all i watched I watched the BBC news and I was like, and this shit was just news. It's just boring.

I'm used to America. But this shit was just like, this happened up the street at three o'clock. Right. Then this shit happened on, like it was just. Al Jazeera was the same way.

News. Right, right. It didn't give you anything else. It was just like, here is information. Yes. There was no opinion. It's foreign.

You're like, what is jarring? There was no none of that. It was just news. here is information. There was no opinion. It's foreign. You're like, what? It's jarring. It was just news. American news is like emotions. It's just emotions. It's opinions. A lot of times, it seems to be factless at this point. That'd be great if they delivered

the news like you did. Some shit happened over here. That's it. I was like, no matter what, because even the bad stuff, I didn't feel like the anxiety I feel watching American news

because they weren't like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Fires in the Bronx. People burning up. Da-da-da-da. It was just like, there was a fire in the Bronx.

Yeah. At 2.30. Exactly. On the street. And that's how the news should be delivered. Monotone is how you should get the news.

There's no energy. Somebody actually said that recently. Like, we should bring back Walter Cronkite. And they're like, what do you want to bring back? Racism of the 60s? Like, no, no, no. I want Walter Cronkite back. Just give me news.

Just give me news. Because this news is crazy. And it's crazy on every level. It's not just politically crazy. Last Halloween, I was watching the news. And they were literally like, flammable Halloween costumes. And then they had a blowtorch thing and they were just setting costumes on fire. Wow.

And it was like, bro, I don't even know why I need to know this. Yeah, yeah. Like, truly and honestly, what are you trying to do to me right now? I know. Just make me fucking terrified. Well, if you see what the most popular in the New York Times articles are, it's always something like Harry and Meghan, and that's probably bad for them.

I also, you know, because this is kind of mindless shit, you know? Oh, yeah. And then you look at the op-ed section in the New York Times. I remember back in the day, it used to be like four people. Yeah.

Now it feels like most of the fucking newspapers. That's true. Halloween costumes or something like that. It was like, truly, and they were like, these costumes costumes burn and then you're just doom scrolling you're just seeing school shooting hate crime it's terrible i did two weeks in london last year on a writing on a show and it just feels so much lighter there there's not that tension and everybody's angry it just felt just a little more laid back and it was weird but it was great tension as much though in person i feel like i feel like that's mostly on twitter right right and news and news

news is like pro wrestling now it's like two sides ah you gotta pick a side and there's no truth to like it just feels like the truth is just gone and like now you can't i just feel like if you're a liberal you can't keep calling these people in middle America fucking stupid for believing what they believe. They call them fucking dumb and they don't get it and they don't read enough. Because the government and the media is lying to everybody consistently and constantly. So no one actually knows what to believe. Like they truly sat around for a long time and told us aliens don't exist. And then one day

kind of loosely they were like they probably do and we probably and we probably seen one and then just moved on with their fucking day and it's like

okay so people are right to mistrust of course it's like a toxic relationship where they're gaslighting you and then and then you're just like well I guess you're the only person

I can be with yeah like honestly weirdly when it comes to certain things like the alien shit like the lab shit i believe trump the most because i know that he's dumb and he probably is telling me shit he's not supposed to tell me oh good point good point because he's stupid you know i'm saying so i feel like other presidents knew how to keep

all the white secrets yeah and he's just like ignorant as fuck and he runs his mouth too much. Right. So he be saying shit like they probably told him a long time ago, yo, we think this is some lab shit but don't say nothing. And he was immediately like,

it's lab shit. Yeah. Because that's how he is. Yeah. So if it's shit like that, I kind of lean towards like, this nigga probably right. The longer he's gone,

the longer he's gone, the funnier I find him. That's hilarious. China. From China. probably right the longer he's gone the funnier i find him from china also isn't it weird that we it's less racist that it came from a bat in a wet market to me that's way like all these dirty chinese people making a fucking soup with bats in it yeah yeah that is way wild than just like a contained thing yeah in a scientific space. It's weird. That was the racist one. Right.

It doesn't make sense. But we were all like, bat from Wuhan. Yeah. That makes sense. I know, right? Because everybody's fucking garbage. Yeah. I know.

Bats do carry a lot of diseases, though. I think they made sense. They were like, well, they were disgusting animals. And you know what else fucks it up? I feel like Instagram and TikTok be feeling that stuff because they always want to like, I feel like all the Asian media I get, because I'm not Asian, is like this skewed American shit that we want to see Asian people do. And it's always like, look at them eating a live squid and pouring the sauce on it.

It's all racism. I'm sure they do more than this. They invent a lot of shit whatever this is it's a lot of Asian art yeah it's like look at them eating stuff

we would never eat and it's like I'm sure there's also other things yeah there's all these like great cinema and art over there

and we're just like we're like put on one of the game shows yeah I want to see them fall that's what I'm saying we're not even tapping into like the essence

of their culture right right we're just like Ninja Warrior watch me the live octopus we're fucking dumb while on tiktok i got sent just videos of an asian lady slamming her face into bread did you guys see that one and i loved it it was great yeah that's the problem i mean we are getting dumber oh yeah well they say the tiktok is going to go away they've been saying that for a while though well i mean trump trump was gonna get rid of tiktok remember that oh yeah that's right they got rid of it in um canada you can't have it if you work for the government you can't have it

why they feel like it's bad no it's run by the ccp that the communist chinese government and it's it's their property it's a data collection exactly this might sound ignorant but what isn't who isn't taking data right now everybody everything everything you log on i mean look look at facebook look what facebook has done well they don't want them taking china of course that's all it is of course but i mean it really is amazing that like every time i mean apple caught shit for like going on they say ask app not to track apple caught shit for that that's like pretty pro people i would think yeah yeah yeah you know well that shit's crazy you ever talk about like dildos then you get a dildo ad oh my god there's a new squirting dildo i just learned

that's the world we're in that's crazy they're fully in our lives baby i know facebook has a thing called the off i think it's like the off security track or whatever it's called. But you have to go to your Facebook settings and turn it off. So you basically have to be like, I don't want you to spy on me. It comes with them spying on you. Uber was tracking you five minutes after you got dropped off. Uber? Uber was. They still tracking you walking around?

Walking around. Why? Why was a good question. They said we were doing it to know where to better drop you off next time. So like if we dropped you off here, you walk still five minutes but also that doesn't make any sense because who says i'm going back there next time they don't know where i'm going exactly yeah i go different places that might not be my house you gotta be like how do you know where you have patterns you go to madison square garden to the next game what entrance should we drop mark goes

to mexican blowjob shops you want to know what's crazy? That's fucking true. Because now, damn, I didn't think about that. Now, whenever I type in Madison Square Garden, it automatically pops up 4-Pin. Because that's the entrance I always go to. Oh, shit. There it goes. I didn't even think about that.

It happened to me the other day, and I thought it was weird. I was like, damn. It went right to 4-Pin. There you go. You're a big Hoops fan. Yeah. You yeah who how'd you get into basketball who was your first team was it that 90 celtics team no i wasn't at celtics i was too young like like the celtics were too bad to be fans of them when i was like you had like the dino raja years i have one of my younger basketball years it was squads because i my city sucked boston was losing at everything

for a long time like every sport they were bad at hockey they were bad at baseball they were bad at football they were bad basketball so it was really hard being a boston sports fan especially like in the 90s and so i would just pick like squads like every basketball season i had a new group that i liked how they were playing yeah so at one point it was like the Bibby Kings. Yeah, they were sick. Webb, Bibby, all them. Then there was the Allen Houston. The Knicks, baby.

Yeah, Starks, Knicks. I liked them for a little while. You know what I mean? I was just kinda, then I was a Kobe fan. I was a huge Kobe fan, so then it was like the lakers for a while but even with the lakers because i wasn't from la like that i would still be like i like lakers and i like right whatever whatever whatever team or whatever whatever team like that you can't be a

boss in person rooting for la exactly so i had to kind of pick or pick other shit to also be into what a great fluid way to be this is how how sports fandom should be. They should draft you. They should go for your, be like, we spent this much. You should follow us this year. Fuck your hometown. Sorry,

fuck your hometown. Fuck your hometown. Isn't that a little fair weather? Fair weather? Who cares? It's like, build the best team. I'll follow you.

I mean, I had to be at the time, like really, like Boston had nothing going on. It was like, if I was, I didn't want to be miserable, dog. It was like, to be a Boston sports fan at that time, it I was, I didn't want to be miserable, dog.

It was like to be a Boston sportsman at that time, it was like I wasn't the one to watch anything. And it was some exciting teams and exciting players. Oh, yeah. And I started to just like what I like. Like I love Peja. You know what I mean? I started picking players. Like I love how this motherfucker play.

I love how this motherfucker play. I like how this motherfucker plays. And that's how I kind of like got way into basketball. And then like the pierce you know kg that era then i was like a boston fan and then i stayed like a celtics fan but the way i watched basketball if the celtics started like losing bad for the next three years i would follow another team now i'll be honest i never bought another team's jerseys i never bought like i couldn't bring myself too much of a bostonian to like put on a kobe joint

and just stand in that joint like if my if my team sucked now boston was also competing fine i wear a kobe joint and a brown joint and whatever. We got competitors. But when we were like bad, it just felt wild. Like cheating. Yeah, it felt wild, disloyal to do some shit like that. So I never did no shit like that. You know what I'm saying? I just didn't buy nothing. I was just like, I just don't wear jerseys.

You know what I mean? My first jersey was a Celtics jersey. Yeah, there you go. You know what I'm saying? Like my first football jersey was a Tom Brady jersey. You know, I just didn't participate in sports in that way until I felt proud of my own city and the shit that we were doing.

That's why I didn't wear FUBU. Felt like cheating. I like that about you, Mark. You stay true to your white man. Some people may not like that about you, but I respect it. Thank you. Some white men gotta go down with the shit. Everybody just can't jump off

that ain't no I'm staying on the Amistad oh my god you fucking nut joking this is crazy they're gonna run

this shit back in like 10 years and it's gonna be like that clip they show Chris Rock I know doing CK and saying nigger a bunch

and Chris is just like hey my buddy that was a real that was a real heat check from Louie that's what they're gonna do that was Louie being like I know. Doing CK and saying nigger a bunch. And Chris was just like, hey, buddy. That was a real heat check from Louie. That's what they're going to do. That was Louie being like, I can do no wrong. Let me drop the N-word in front of Chris Rock. I didn't say I'm punch Mark in his fucking face. I'm serious about the FUBU, though.

I didn't want to wear it because it was literally for us, by us. So I'm not wearing that. No, I'm saying that's rude. Like, white boys who did it were annoying. Yes. I like that you just stay loyal to your white shit. Of course. And you do do it to this day you're just a white guy and i'm a white guy here here i mean we're all there's a lot of white guys you don't try nothing else that'd be annoying if you did i agree no i don't like it and i like mark mark will say some

offensive white guy shit and he don't even know why. Yeah, well, I'm trying to be on a joke. I'm like, what are they mad about? I'm like, you're just so white in a guy. What up? I don't know. It's a good equalizer

saying fucked up shit. You know, because if I don't say it around you, I feel like that's weird. Yeah, for sure. For sure. I appreciate that honesty.

You can only be Mark. The way you say Manny being Manny, it's Mark being Mark. That's who he is. Who's Manny? I appreciate that honesty. Manny Ramirez. Ah appreciate the honesty. You can only be Mark. The way you say Manny being Manny, it's Mark being Mark. That's who he is. Who's Manny? I appreciate the honesty. Manny Ramirez. Ah, Ramirez.

When are you going to tape another special? June. Oh, damn. That was quick. What are you taping? June 17th. What? Yeah.

You just did one. What, six months? Three years ago. No, the Netflix. Yeah, it was a while back. Was it three years? That's why I asked when you're doing one. Yeah.

Well, she had like Ten TV shows and movies I felt like that was She's doing other shit Like a year at the most Damn Like three years ago bro Alright

Where are you gonna tape it Brooklyn Steel Oh okay Ooh good one I don't think I've been there I think Che did one there Oh shit is that the one In like

The warehouse he kinda Yeah but that's why I thought Che did it too But it wasn't at Brooklyn Steel He said it was somewhere else But I thought that's where I think i have been there actually yes that's why i thought it was too but he said no oh okay i was like how he shot in there what it was like but he said no but i think ricky's last one was oh gotcha the hbo one yeah i like the space because you can kind of make it what you want right right it's very like and i wanted to i looked at that well yeah it's

like near the water it's like yeah yeah i wanted to do new y It's very like, and I wanted to do New York. I looked at that one, yeah, it's like near the water. Yeah, yeah, I wanted to do New York. I was like, ah, it's time to do one where I live. What was the last one? Atlanta. That's right, okay. Atlanta's a good comedy city too. Great town. But yeah, that's exciting.

So you've been touring with this one a lot? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. All right. I've been touring for like down there six, seven months. Wow. Yeah. So I'm trying to like down there six, seven months. Wow. Yeah. So I'm trying to get 50 more shows in before tape. Oh, I saw you at the Cellar like a few weeks ago and it was fucking hilarious.

Oh, thank you. It was really fun. I'm trying, man. Yeah. Can I ask you about the rock special? You were there? Yeah. What was it like being there? Crazy.

Yeah? Just the energy was crazy. Seeing someone do it live and like that's a big deal, you know? Yeah. crazy seeing someone do it live and like that's a big deal you know like yeah that's not easy to do um to just go for it live at five because the truth is you can't predict the energy you can't you can't predict energy you can't predict how the room's gonna be and that's why we like to take two right that's what you do. Yeah. I taped seven last time. For real? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Typically, you at least-

That's not normal, but you do at least two. At least two. I feel like a network, unless they love you, they'll give you a budget for two. Right. You know what I'm saying? If you shooting for HBO, you shooting for whatever. Unless you like rock and you're like, I'm shooting a week of fucking shows and then we gonna figure this out. They'll let you do two. But at the minimum, you're like, I'm shooting a week of fucking shows and then we gonna figure this out, then let you do

two. But at the minimum, you're doing two. And of those two, you're picking the best. How it works. Because the energy is so unpredictable. You just don't know what group of people you're gonna be getting. And laughter's so infectious.

And the crowd dictates so much of how it works the the community just show up with the jokes you gotta show up with the jokes but if they're in a mood and they make a decision and off that first one they're like no and then you perform worse whoa that could set this whole world so to go like fuck it i'm gonna grab my nuts and go live yeah just take it as it comes well there's like a weird pressure on the audience, too, to bring it. You know, it's pretty stressful. But I feel like Baltimore, you get what you get.

I don't feel like Baltimore is like, we're going to be nicer because it's a special. Yeah, and I mean, that was intentional. Like, Chris purposely was like, I want to do it for that reason. Like, I'm going to come to Baltimore and like grab my dick and see what it does. So, just watch that energy and she was fired. Was there an opener in that room? Because I saw that it was on TV. No.

That was it? He went in cold like that? Yeah, no. Doesn't he normally as Rick go out, right? All that TV shit was happening in LA. Did they broadcast that in the room? No. Wow, he just walked out on stage?

Wow. Yep. With those boots? I didn't notice the boots. That was a risk. Yeah, no. He pulled it off, but yeah. We all watched it, and it was fun.

Yeah. I watched him run it a couple. I didn't actually see the special, but I watched him run it a couple times, and yeah, I loved the material. I thought it was great. Yeah, he just walked out. He just, only one. Wow.

Only act that night. That's crazy. I saw some video. I'm a. Only one. Wow. Only had that night. That's crazy. I saw some video. I'm a huge rock guy. Bring the pain of Bigger Blacker to be a top 10. Oh, my God. I think Roll With The New got me into stand-up.

Oh, wow. I remember hearing that album, and I probably got half the jokes. I was so young. Fresh off kissing that boy. Yeah. I remember listening to it my mom was like what are you listening to and grabbed it

and I watched her put the headset on and I watched this look of horror on her face followed by like 30 seconds later her laughing

I was like oh that's fucking beautiful that a joke can do that that like he can kind of push you away with the premise and then bring you

right back that's Rock's gift you know he can say something really polarizing and then just immediately unite. It's a beautiful thing. But, yeah, I mean, Rock is one of the great comics ever.

I mean, it's insane. But what I was going to say is I saw a video and it was this lady, black lady, saying that he doesn't play to black audiences. Like, he's trying to perform for white people. And I'm like, are you kidding? He's, like, doing it in Baltimore. I don't know. It's such a crazy accusation. When did you see this?

Like, a week ago. So, this is the crazy thing, I feel. It's like, people's memory is so fucking selective. And it's gross, in my opinion. Because it's like like to say that is incredibly ignorant you know what i'm saying what was it bigger and blacker a bit of pain was at the apollo right you know what i mean it's like you just don't know what the fuck you're talking about totally cb4 is for white audiences you just don't know what the fuck you're talking about yeah no sex in the champagne

room which for white audiences like he was literally being a black voice and the only black voice in comedy like that for a minute good hair was for us on that level yeah for a minute you talking about the chris rock show right for white people you sound nuts and the problem i have especially when black people do that is that they equate success to whiteness so because he is successful in this thing and he's not in some dark corner right doing comedy only in fucking mississippi right and now all of a sudden he's doing it for white people and it's like shut the fuck up you have no idea what you're talking about it's totally disrespectful to the man's legacy his history the amount of shit he has done for black people the amount of spaces that he has been in and represented for black people in those spaces

just because you went to some show and now that he's fucking a mega star there happened to be a lot of white people there. Yes. Shut up, bitch. I agree. That's stupid. Yeah, white people like him because he's funny. That's it. I think he's, yeah, he's, and when I see someone like Megyn Kelly post how funny this special

is, and then people are like, this is part of the problem. All you can do is put out the jokes. Whoever's going to like it is going to like it. Oh my God. is put out the jokes. Whoever's going to like it is going to like it. Oh my God. There's been times

where I've done jokes and the fucking most whitest, whitest Republican man has come up to me and been like, I fucking love that fucking shit about da-da-da-da-da. And I'm like,

I guess, bro. I don't know. I just said what I said. If it's good, it's good. I can't. I wasn't saying it to you. Right. And by the way,

the job is to kill. The job is to kill. The job is to have a good set. So yeah, I mean, if you're making people, it's a good thing to bring people together. And also there's a lot of other shit too. Like it's like, he doesn't have to do all the work of blackness. He's doing his corner of his thing.

There's also motherfuckers writing books. There's motherfuckers making writing books there's motherfuckers making movies there's motherfuckers painting pictures so like if you're not getting the thing from chris there's other motherfuckers doing comedy like just go search for it somewhere else he doesn't have to hold up the whole job that's so so well said i mean it's like it how unfair is it that that would be his duty to i know he He's an entertainer. I've always said once people start putting this weight on comic shoulders as being more than just a comedian, it's kind of dangerous for comedy.

I agree. Once you have this duty as a citizen, you know, to be this, even to be like an artist. But all these people can kind of like suck my dick because it's like, also, you're not doing any of this in your day-to-day. It's like, yo, you're walking around the of this in your day-to-day it's like yo you're you're walking around the world you're interacting with people all the time yeah you're

having these encounters in the world are you doing this shit are you doing this work that you're just throwing on all these other people to to do because what exactly because they're on television i think often these people are not you're right they're not going out into the world and when we tour with material, we're at least seeing, you're honing a set based on every state in the country liking it. You really are making it work. And you're having real conversations. After your show, you're sitting at the bar.

If you've offended someone, like, we're not rappers. You get what I'm saying? Like, we don't, especially at this level, when we're at this level of comedy, you know, notave level or chris level it's like bro it's not like i'm getting rushed off the stage under a fucking jacket and no one's allowed to talk to me i go to the bar and if i made someone mad they walk up to me and they go you made me fucking mad same and i have a conversation with them what were you actually fucking mad about right well i was mad about this and i was mad about that well this is why i said this and this is why i said that and i take that and continue it into my act and i go

out and i keep building and i'm having these conversations with people in fucking utah and i'm having these conversations with people in fucking la and i'm having these conversations with people in wyoming and i'm having these conversations with people in fucking atlanta so when i finally stand in front of you with a fucking special and I say hey I think this might be the temperature nigga I did a job exactly yeah I'm not just fucking talking and also maybe you happen to be just fucking talking you haven't talked to anybody but your fucking friends so maybe you don't know what the fuck you're talking about right maybe you're in the echo chamber maybe you're in the echo chamber and I'm not i mean the humility it takes to hone an hour i mean you have to you have to suffer a little bit not really suffer but bomb a little

bit and sometimes you have to be wrong there's been times where i've done shit and then someone will come up to me after a show with their real life experience and i'm like goddamn i gotta reanalyze what the fuck i'm saying it is help me before. Because I did not consider that. I did not consider that life experience. I did not consider that when I was talking about this. And now I do need to because now I've heard it. It's my responsibility to now incorporate this or at least consider this

as I continue to say these words and put this shit out into the world. So it's like, no, you who just goes to work and talks to your four friends and comes home and that's all you're doing and you're not actually out here seeing and feeling and I'm not knocking that but you don't get to come and tell me what the fuck I should be saying

yes that's not that's not how we're doing if they come at you in a non-combative way I have listened and it has been you know a positive experience for me I remember I had a joke in like 2014 but I'm saying like people who just get on the internet and be like. The fact that they assume the intent is malicious is.

Nobody wants to hurt anybody. Right. We're trying to get a laugh. Most people don't. But I mean, you know, I remember a woman came up to me after a show in like 2014 and said, I had a joke where I say the word tranny in it. And she goes, just so you know, I have a trans kid. It's a slur. It's like a shitty word for us. And I said, I didn didn't know that i'm glad you told me i the joke works she said to

me the joke works without you saying that so i said that's a good point all right it's gone but that's real that's only all do that this is a nice way to do it you know yeah that's what i'm saying and that's real but that's what i'm saying because you're going out and you're doing the shit and you're being tried and true and you're standing in front of real people and doing this yeah so it's like you're getting that real feedback. I feel like sometimes people see it especially. It's like, you think that's the first time I said any of this shit?

I know, right? I've been saying this shit for a year. I think some people might think that. Probably. I've been saying this shit for a year. I've been touring this shit for a year. I've been tweaking it. I've been tweaking this for a year.

Like, what are you, what are you, I didn't just write this in the bathroom this morning. Right. I think some people think that we do though. It's so frustrating. like yeah what are you what are you i didn't just write this in the bathroom this morning right i think some people think that we do though it's it's so frustrating but also just because you perceived it a certain way it doesn't mean that's how i meant it just because it went in your head a certain way it doesn't mean also i was going for that i just wasn't fucking talking to you

just because you didn't get it doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to exist yes because you didn't like it doesn't mean it shouldn't be around maybe i wasn't fucking talking to you in the first place maybe this isn't the conversation for you there's a lot of other shit to go see there's a lot of other shit to go watch find the conversation that is for you yes but stop trying to eliminate conversations from the fucking world because you don't like them it's weird i agree it's so fucking weird what if we did that with everything hey this hot sauce burned my tongue all hot sauce has to go that's insane behavior i don't know i'm not any of this shit like there's there's white dude comics i'm like i don't give a shit about whatever this guy's saying but like there's some white guy somewhere who does and he's listening and he's podcast he also deserves to be

like affirmed yeah you know what i mean he's a person and like it just isn't for me so i'll go do the things that are for me and you should go do the things that are for you and that's the great thing about being in america and having fucking options you know yes having freedoms and and and it's interesting like sometimes watching a comic struggle through this is way more entertaining than watching them kill like i've seen you kill i've also seen those sets of yours where you're kind of working it out and it's not quite clicking and those as a comic are sometimes more entertaining for me i like watching a comic battle a good comic i don't like watching a bad comic bomb i like watching a good

comic bomb sometimes because they have to adapt right and it's and it's interesting to me sure and you're gonna bomb like you're out here doing the shit you're gonna bomb and that's also another thing is like sometimes i'll like like it's like maybe you just caught me on a bad night baby girl i'm a person yeah exactly i'm a person out here just talking out of my mouth i don't have a filter i don't have an edit happening in between this. It's just me and you and thoughts. So sometimes things may get convoluted, misconstrued, misunderstood,

because that's how fucking conversations work. Yes, exactly. And I think in this world now, everything's so curated. You order Grubhub, gluten-free, none of this, none of that. But comedy, they show up at a show and they're just like,

whoa, I didn't sign up for this shit. And I'm like, well, you kind of did because this is a comedy show for a live performance experience and that means you don't know what the fuck you're gonna get yes exactly but isn't it great that comedy elicits this type of response because i think that means we're taken seriously as a form of entertainment now we lost he had to pick up his kid but don't you think that's like... Think about how mad people would get Spike Lee or Tarantino, and now I think

comedy gets that type of attention. I think it's kind of good. Yeah, but I do miss those old niche days when we were in a basement. I think it's good and it's bad, though, because it's getting that kind of attention, but because it's getting that kind of attention, this is the problem. Tarantino, all this shit, it's getting that kind of attention, this is the problem. Tarantino, all this shit, it's getting that kind of attention from people that have been enough familiarity with movies to get the medium.

I feel like it's all these motherfuckers just coming to comedy that don't even get the art form at all. Oh, of course. And then they're just like, it should be this. Yes, exactly. Bitch, do you even get what it is we do? the art form at all of course and then they're just like it should be this yes exactly bitch do you even get what it is we do but movies have been around longer than stand up that's what i'm trying to say like there's a consciousness of what it is right it's just embedded in the american right right i want i want brian regan people don't get the job that we do they don't get the process that it is well there's people that do

but i don't think the average just person who only watches specials is never you know people never been to a live stand oh yeah do you know what i mean i get a lot of that but this only watch specials and go like i know what this should be yeah but the frustration also comes with like we're turning over material that's the frustration so you have to bomb and that's frustrating and the comics who are just going up and killing all the time who these people might have no problem with are comics that they might actually hate because that's a comic that's not writing new jokes that's what i'm saying that's what i'm trying to say they They don't understand. Exactly. Yeah. Like this, this, this woman went under when I was promoting the movie and she goes in my

comments and she's like, I don't know. This bum got a movie. I was just at the cellar and this ass hat sat around and did a whole set about Jeffrey Dahmer and it was shit. And she was looking at her phone the whole fucking time. How the fuck did she get it? And I was like, you're not wrong not wrong lady that's what happened that night it was a tuesday i was trying out a

dollar bit you're working out i didn't have it quite down i was in my fucking phone that was the night but for her it's tuesday and i went out to i'm yeah they don't understand they had a big night out but they're getting smarter like i will you know what i'm saying so she's just like who fuck me yes i'm shit exactly but i think the crowd is the audience has become much more sophisticated i'm sure you deal with this on the road too but like we talk about this so much on the podcast like new bits and all that shit that i will like take a notepad out on stage sometimes and people will like applaud like they want to be a part of it now yeah i think comedy crowds have gotten more hip yeah no i definitely think that but i'm but not every crowd obviously yeah i think like a lot the average that's a comedy

crowd right yeah right i think the average person is like i come in you off the top of your head bust my gut and if you don't you don't deserve to have this job that's that's a comedy seller that's a comedy seller where you might be following someone who is playing the hit so if you don't come up and just murder that's why the seller can be hard to work out at sometimes sure because you're following some fucking murderer yeah who's just doing 15 that's gonna crush and then you're like let me see what and they're just like what but they don't understand that it's a choice they think it's just you right right yes they're like no you suck like no no this will be great and you're like no baby i could have hit you with

the hits yeah yeah i just didn't want to darling because this is where i work at right i work out at i gotta i gotta get good yeah exactly this is how i get good you know what i'm saying but they don't and that and it's and it's weird because then they watch stuff like chris that way and they watch you know what i'm saying they what is what's the first thing chris says when he pops into the cellar lower Lower your expectations. Yeah, they watch this stuff without the context of what it is that we're actually doing, and then they judge it on this scale of like,

well, Eddie Murphy Raw, and you're like, baby girl. It's Tuesday. You thought you were going to get Raw here? You spent 15 bucks to get here. Exactly, and I know we've said it a million what? Oh, at five. Oh, shit. We don't want to hold here. Yeah, exactly. And I know we've said it a million... What? I was told the same as to go.

Oh, at five. Oh, shit. We don't want to hold you. I don't have a Zoom call anymore. All that shit got moved. Oh, great. Yeah, yeah. No, y'all, I have nothing to do.

Well, it's been said a million times. It's called a comedy club, but you wouldn't just have a music club because you could have reggae, country, rap, rock, and you don't know what you're getting but like comedy club it's it's uh you then it's uh you know caitlin palufo then it's you then it's charade small it's all over the place and so but that's what i'm saying they also don't know like the difference between you're coming to a club on a tuesday or you're going to a club on a Tuesday or you're going to a Sam J show that's two different things right if you come to a Sam J show

and for an hour I'm in my phone doing weird shit about Dahmer and you pay 30 bucks yell at me because I'm being bad if you come to the cellar on a Tuesday a lot of I might not have even been on I might have just showed up and be like yo

can I try some Dahmer shit out and they were like yeah you can this is a different situation you hear all these stories though about like these rocks these behind the music videos these rock stars have to be like carried on stage on heroin oh yeah and then i'm like i had one bad set where i was one of like seven comics right but every other art form they understand that right like if they go like back in the day when fucking you had punk at its height and they're like we're about to go on a tuesday to see they knew they were just going to see these niggas jam yeah you know what i'm saying they're like that's dope we're gonna go see these motherfuckers jam or you know when you're just watching that's why players shoot around and you're like i'm not expecting

them to give me game right right every time we on stage they want the game yes they want the game but the but the thing about the game you are bad at comedy but a musical a musical but the musical bomb is is a harder uh bomb to notice than a stand-up bomb like if we're not connecting you fucking feel it if you're like it's not it's uncomfortable but, horrible. Yeah, yeah, he's still playing music. It's rare that you're, like, watching a musician, and you're like, I hate this person. But that will happen to us. They decide, like, I don't like you. I know.

Not as a comic, but as, like, a human. Like, I don't like this human. They think they know you. And I'm like, these are jokes. And they're like, I don't like you right i'm like i just said the worst thing to get a lab i don't believe that people have been like you need to be nicer to your girlfriend and i'm like what hilarious what yeah i proposed to her like david tell one time was like what do you do the guy goes i work in nickelodeon he goes no wonder i'm hard

and obviously he's not attracted to children, but it's the, it's funny to say that because that's the wrong thing to be. And that's comedy. It tells another one who, when he gets a bad crowd is one of the funniest dudes to watch. He's slamming the stand down. Yeah.

He's just getting cranky and oppositional. They make you oppositional. And it's like, you don't want to be, but when they're bad, you're like, all right. Yeah. Fuck y'all.'all exactly exactly now i'm going harder i'm leaning in what was the vibe at the after party for rock was it fun yeah but it's like them niggas have been there and done it right so they don't it don't have the energy of newness. It's just like, we're going to have a couple of drinks and go home.

That's kind of better at this point. Yeah, yeah. That's what I heard Chris say. If there's no food, I'm leaving. You know, like that energy of like, I got to be here doing this shit. Like, they're not chasing no more. And they're 56 or whatever, too. Yeah, they're not chasing no more.

Right. So the energy was that of a bunch of seat because dave was there it's like these motherfuckers are seasoned and knowing they ain't chasing nothing i kind of like that better because no it was it's cool to see yeah see the other side because you know the after party is kind of another performance and then everybody goes that was great you killed it you gotta go yeah thank you yeah and, yeah, and it's more work. It's another job. Yeah. It's another job, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, like I'm doing a special in two weeks, and they're like, where's the after party? And I'm like, don't do it, Chicago. Oh. Oh, yeah. The Vic. Oh. Where you putting it out?

Netflix. Hell, yeah. Are you doing Netflix again? That's exciting, no. No. That's exciting. Do you know where you're doing it yet? Is this live?

No. Oh, HBO. Chris Rock? Oh, okay. Oh, cut that. What's going on? excited no no that's exciting do you know what you're doing yet is this live no oh chris rock okay uh oh cut that what's going on lifetime oxygen tyler perry bought a bt or he's buying bt that's what i mean he already owned it every show on bt is a tyler perry show he's got like 20 shows on that fucking channel. Oh, jeez. I'm so happy. I got cable again for the first time in forever, and I'm so happy I got it.

Cable's the shit. I never let it go. I don't know why anyone would let it go. It's necessary. Yeah, I was just flipping around the other day. I was like, yeah, fuck it. I watched the last half of Cape Fear. It's fucking great to have that option.

I love flipping. It's my favorite part. It is essential. It's fucking great. To have that option. I love flipping. It's my favorite part. It is essential. It's like radio. I have every streamer, but I've always kept cable because sometimes I just like to

hang it out, land on some shit, and I'll be like, damn, it has been a minute since I watched House Party. Right. You stumbled.

You're making it. It looks pretty bad. I saw the reboot. It's already out. Oh, is it good? I don't talk bad about black art, so it's amazing. Do we still have her? Are we still picking her up?

All black art is good art. Put the captions in. There's no bad black art, bro. I don't know. Did you see Pootie Tang? That shit's fire. I'm joking. No, Pootie Tang's funny. I think Louie wrote that, actually. I love Pootie Tang. That's funny. Pootie Tang? I'm joking. No, Pootie Tang's funny.

I think Louis wrote that, actually. I love Pootie Tang. That's fun. Pootie Tang's a fun... Is this a controversial one? Really? I think it's pretty funny. It's funny.

I don't think Pootie Tang is funny. Robert Vaughn? Yeah. Yeah, it's funny. We're doing a lot of long bus stretches. We're doing the tour bus coming up, like a couple 11 day stretches. And I just have like booklets of DVDs I'm bringing.

And you're like, okay, what's a good movie, but what's a good bus movie. And you know, I've got like the dumb shit. I've got, I've got like road trip on there.

I got, don't be a menace on there. What are your black movies? Oh geez. What do I have? White men can't jump. It's number one. That's a black movie.

Yeah. He's so white. How is that not black? The title is White Men. Can't Jump. There's an insult in the title. Great movie. Boys in the Hood.

Trying to think what black movies I have in there. I mean, I do have a good mix of movies. I even have some foreign shit in there, but those aren't good bus movies, so I have to move them out. I don't know off the top of my head what's in there. Friday? I actually do have Friday in there.

Friday's great. I fucking love Friday. Oh, yeah, Chris Tucker steals it. I saw Friday in the movie theater. Really? Wow. John Witherspoon was so good. In the black movie theater.

Wow. Shit was lit. Damn! Money Talks is in the black movie, but I have that in there. We'll take it. Black people will take it. I love Chris Tucker.

If Chris Tucker's in it, we own it, besides Fifth Element. Oh, yeah, That's very white But he still killed it He's always good Dude Money Talks Is a fucking hilarious movie

It's so good It's so funny It's so good I wish that he and Sheen Did a couple more together Yeah They had a good chemistry It was a good vibe

I need more of that back We don't got Everything's so motherfucking Heavy now man I know I'm like just bring back the fucking. Because they won't put out very few comments. It's like, just put out the light shit.

Like, everything. Like, did you see the new Pinocchio? No. Is it good? No. It's crazy. But good? Sad.

But good? Sad, heavy. I couldn't finish it because I was like, who is this for? Yeah, right? It starts starts first of all it starts they showed a real kid which is like we never want to know who the real kid was that's already too much so geppetto kicking it with the real son there is a bombing a literal bombing the son dies in a bombing geppetto becomes an alcoholic jeez this is is a kid's movie. You're like, yo. Wow.

It sounds kind of amazing, though. No fuck. The art is dope. Isn't it Guillermo del Toro? Yeah, the stop animation. Yeah, he's amazing. The stop animation is dope, but watching it, I was just like, why does it have to be all this, bro?

I'm convinced that's why Ted Lasso became so popular. It's just so light. The director also said, don't show this to your kids. Well, what the fuck? It's Pinocchio. But it's like, bro, this is great. Like, he's a whole alcoholic, like, getting drunk under a tree. Whoa.

And, like, ready to kill himself. It's like they insinuate, like, he's on the brink of suicide. Right, right. And then, like, the fairy come and the tree, and they're like, we're going to make you a kid. But the kid's all, like, scary looking. Like, Pinocchio's all gangly and like, it's just crazy. You know what started that? Up. Remember Up?

I was sad as fuck. Great movie. But in the beginning, I cried. I know. It was like a fucking montage of this guy's wife dying. It's just like shit's bad heavy. It's heavy. Even House Party, like, and I think it's good, but it's like the start of the premise of him

needing money for his daughter. And I'm just like, why can't we just be throwing a party? Yeah. Yeah, give me Goof Troop. It's so heavy. Yeah. I get it. I heard Rush Hour 4 is opening with a rape.

You see what I'm saying? We don't need that. No, it is. I do love when a movie can just be fun like i was telling mark i watched uh megan that new movie i heard it's good it's fun i watched this it's a fun movie it's lit it's a fun ronnie chang ronnie chang was killing me every time he popped on screen he was killing me and and it's just like a fun yeah movie she's just killing people i guess it is dark the beginning is dark but like but it was like comedy yeah it's campy a fun movie. She's just killing people. I guess it is dark. The beginning is dark. But it's like silly comedy.

Yeah, exactly. It's campy a little bit. You know? It's like, come on, dog. I was into it. And then once you start dancing and shit, you're like, this is just goofy. Yeah, you're right, though. It is harder.

Everything's heavy. It's all serial killer docs, true crime, all day long. I'm kind of over the serial killer. I'm done with it. I did watch the Murdoch one just because it was on the news. I watched it because it was kind of good. That's a hell of a story. Once it got to the point where the maid got pushed down a flight of stairs by dogs.

They killed the maid, bro. Of course. That's not what dogs do. But you know what's shady? He also lied to the family like, I'm going to hook y'all up with the bread. And then he didn't give them no bread. I was like, at least give them the bread. You know you killed the maid well oj commented on the the jury that was fun i feel like he's become a legal course i don't know if he killed his wife and his

kid he did but i know that he killed enough people that he needed to go yeah oh yeah yes exactly you didn't do this, you was a part of so much foul shit that something was going to catch up to you, bro. You just was laying too many foul bricks out there. Also, one of the sons was clearly either gay or, yeah, I mean, they killed this gay kid. Buster, yeah. That was fucking dark as hell.

Buster. And they still ain't even talking about what they did to the gay kid. They kind of glossed over it. I'm like, this family's committed so many murders, they can't even get to the hate crime. The hate crime was the lightest part. They were like, yeah, that's how they do us gays. So they're like, yeah, and it was a gay kid murder.

It was in the credits. We were like, what? They're like, bro, what? Wait, what was the other? So him. Oh, and the woman on the boat, obviously. Yes. That was the major one.

Yeah. That was the start of the nefarity. Yes. They are some Southern trash right there. Oh, yeah. I was like, this is turnt. It was kind of fun. It's good to have little insights into like this like like white shit that

you like because like as a black person you like they they be doing crazy shit and then every once in a while you get a little window oh yeah oh i know it white collar crime is crazy i don't know why but like the rich ones are easier for me to take like making a murderer where they're just fucking with like poor people it kind of it really depressed yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they're rich piece of shit they'll go down i mean they did kill a lot of people but nah the maid was the fucked up that was the fucked up yeah the maid was just a casualty of of addiction and needing bread right you know i mean like it was just like we need bread i get high too much who can we take out it's like they out they were so powerful that they told the cops that dogs pushed a woman down a flight of stairs

and the cops were like that's good enough for me they were so powerful they went to a crime scene and took out the major piece of evidence they removed the boat they took the boat out it was like what and then the boyfriend was like can I see my girlfriend they're like we're not comfortable with that.

Yeah. No, baby. And then even people in the interviews were like, we're kind of nervous talking about this. That's how scary they are. Still. Still. How did they time it to come out with the jury? That was amazing.

I mean, that's probably how you do it. That's incredible. I also wonder, though, is that going to be something he uses to try to turn over his conviction? Oh, like cereal? No, in the sense of. Magic spoon. It's like jury tampering a little bit, right? Because it's like, can you guarantee that they didn't hear nothing about this documentary?

Right. Can you guarantee that they didn't hear anything about this? Like, if I was a defense attorney, I'd be like, hey. I hate this guy. Can you guarantee that the jury didn't get any of this salaciousness? Well, that is amazing. You're right.

I mean, it came out at a time where it could have influenced the jury. That's insane. And this is a bunch of opinions and skewed opinions running right in line with this shit. Yeah. And I don't know. I don't think the jury was sequestered. I didn't see this shit yeah and i don't know that i don't think the

jury was sequestered i didn't see that yeah i don't know yeah so i didn't hear anything about a sequestering so then how do you you know yeah it's really it came at the perfect time because i feel like there hadn't been a good murder crime uh true crime doc in a while i i'd been pretty they made so many and they were just bad what i love about it too is the root of it is just a bunch of trash southern boys that like to get drunk yeah like it's not it's not even like high level shit it's just like trash motherfuckers who drink too much crash a boat yeah push a bitch downstairs it's not? When you say push a bitch, it's kind of funny. Yeah, it's funny.

But you know what I mean? It's like the crimes themselves are just like trash. They're poor white trash crimes from people with money. This thing is just strung out on an oxy. It's a weird combo. Yeah, he's just strung out on an oxy, making rash decisions. And the other kid's in some Ivy League school plagiarizing. You're like, you're just shitty people. Y'all just shit.

Yeah. Yeah, it was a, but there hadn't been a good one in a while. I tried to watch the Hulu sex cult one, and it was like. I watched that one, the cum cult, the domestic. Anytime I watch it like that, I just get annoyed with white people. It's just like, y'all just be participating. Just stop. The cult thing is crazy.

They don't even be real shit going on. They just be like, and she got in my head, and told me i had to and so then i did it and it's like nigga just go home i know i never got that just go just say no yeah go to your house you're a little annoyed they fell for it i'm annoyed that they be acting trapped in things that are like right that are just it's not even crazy like even when i watched the scientology one and the dude was like then he pushed me and it's like sock that nigga i know what are we doing i don't get it like they kept acting like this guy was like this high level con and then i'd hear everything he'd say and i'd be like that's not that impressive yeah it's a guy named greg or something you know in a bathrobe oh i thought you're talking about

the lady one oh no there's a new one there's a new one too many sex calls too many sex calls where it was like a woman and she her whole thing was like uh power to orgasm and making motherfuckers nut and the power of nothing and stuff but then when you got into it she was like on some crazy shit and would watch people get like uh like self-abstation and other people touching other people's clits and be like you gotta fuck this person because you're you're clouded right now and then the people just go fuck someone they didn't want to fuck yeah she said they were clouded and now they're all abused and it's like everyone could have went to their house

i know i don't get everyone could have left. She wasn't locking no doors on nobody. Nobody was stuck there. Yeah. They were all in San Francisco up the street. It just shows that people need a group. Go. Yes. People need somewhere to go. I mean, look at COVID.

Everybody went nuts because no one had anywhere to go or hang out. I wonder why when shit like this happens, it doesn't get introspective ever. People never go, what was wrong with me? I know. They just go, he's wrong with me then that i was looking for that that i needed that that i allowed that into my life and my spirit that i allowed myself what was happening with me because that's the first question i asked for all my shit yep all my shit good or bad i'm like what was what was going on with you yeah yeah that you let this go this way. People don't do that.

They just go like, she crazy and bad. Yeah. But also, something was wrong with you that you let a lady tell you you had to fuck a stranger and you did it. Exactly. How about internalizing a little? What was up with you at that point in your life? And have you fixed that?

Yes. Because if you haven't, you're going to meet another person. Exactly. And then they're going to lead you to do some other shit. If I was a cult leader, I'd watch these. Maybe fix your shit. Maybe fix your shit. Yeah.

Yeah, you're a cult leader. You're like, round two, we can get him. If I was a cult leader, I'd just watch other cult movies and be like, all right, we'll get her, we'll get her, we'll get her. You're going to recruit him. Yeah. Based on. One more ride.

That's evil, Mark. I'm not saying, I'm just saying, if I was a cult leader. I don't want to be in a cult. It's it's too much work mark you are not a good dude in your first life whatever your former life was i was a janitor wow that's funny as fuck because it's true you know where the victims are yeah it's so weird to me because i'm like all that shit is just someone playing on your on your weaknesses yes insecurities acknowledging recognizing and just pulling those things out and twisting them around yep and it's like you gotta fix that shit you have to fix that shit i know because it would make you vulnerable all the time and if you never go then you know i'm not saying don't get these people but there's a bigger conversation. Right, right.

There's a bigger conversation. Why motherfuckers be so ready to go to this type of shit? Right. Yeah, there's agreeable and then there's maybe you should fix that. Yeah. Yeah, can't no one tell me I got to fuck another person to clear myself of whatever the fuck. And I'm just like doing it and I don't want to. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And they get to wear a robe while this all happens? I don't want to. It doesn't seem fair. Or then I go back and report to them after I fuck the person. And I'm like, I fuck them. Am I better? And they're like, yes.

What the fuck game is this? Are there cultures? I know how to be a hoe by myself. If you need a hoe, just go out and hoe. Just say you in a hoey phase. Right. Why you need a group to hoe? We don't need be a hoe by myself. If you need a hoe, just go out and hoe. Just say you in a hoey phase. Right. Why you need a group to hoe? We don't need a hoe leader.

It's a bit much. Yeah, why do you need a group to hoe? You can hoe on your own. You can hoe on your own. But I think a lot of people are followers. They need a group. That's the thing, and that's the shit. It's like, it's important.

Like when I was a kid, that was the biggest thing my mother drove into me was not to be a follower. Yeah. Like, and when i was following like it was like i got in trouble for that type of shit for not having my own mind like why did you do that and if i was like because such and so that was more punishment that was if i was like because i there's a different conversation but if i was literally like because my friend that was like you were in trouble trouble right because now you're not thinking for your fucking self your

father motherfuckers think for you so now we have a real problem yeah so now we have we have a real conversation to be had and i don't think people get that it's like that's important well people want to give your independent brain yeah but people are scared they want that acceptance so bad that's what hashtags are it's like oh we're doing this now all right i'm all in on this like well i've never heard you bring that up once in your life well now i'm all in oh i hate that shit i know it's crazy i hate that shit because it's like also you can't care about all these things how much do you care for real when you hashtagging 30 things right oh i think about like cecil the lion no one gave a fuck about that lion exactly a day before that happened can't care about all this shit no it's

too much shit to care about and you can't really care if you just like hashtag lying hashtag diabetes hashtag stop asian hate and then you find out that person's like a deadbeat dad on top of it right and then they feel better they go hey look at me i'm hashtagging all day long i'm a hero like you've been on the beanbag chair you ain't been doing shit yeah you didn't do anything well like our asians good now does that just end like i don't get how that works like all right yeah in a sense of our asian goods like is now do they not have their issue exactly like the shit they're going through in the world the discrimination they're going through in the world the negativity they're going through is it now over because you hashtag

exactly i hate that shit i hated the black square shit it's also kind of it's also kind of fucked up to do it for just like a month because it's almost like you're just forgetting about it yeah so just how about that shit yeah and it gives you a false sense of i feel like i got i feel like i got forced into one of them it was like one of them where it was like y'all niggas is making me do this because it's black and if i don't do this oh and i hated how i felt i can't remember what it was but i hated how i felt and i like took it down pretty quickly because i was like this feels good for you gross and you get resentful you're like fuck i gotta do this now you're mad at the group gross like what what what is this yeah what is this fucking weird

ass nobody cares but everyone's pretending to care but everyone's a piece of shit thing that we're trying to fucking sell right now i know and who are you selling it to exactly who are these overlords we're trying to please selling it to because everybody's bad right we're all twisted everybody's fucked up up the chain and down the chain ain't nobody living fully right you got that right i'm trying to start a cult. Marshawn, start a cult. I got a robe and a basement. Well, Sam, so you're taping it

on April 17th? No, June 17th. June 17th, I'm sorry. Oh, we got some time. June 17th,

we're at Brooklyn Steel. Any other road dates you want to plug? Nah, man, I'm outside. Catch me outside. I love that girl.

I'm an outside boy, you know, I'm outside. You can see her I love that girl. I'm an outside boy. I'm outside. You can see her at the cellar a lot. Yeah, I'm at the cellar. Yeah, we're all over it. I be around white boys when I'm doing white boy stuff. And I be around

a lot of black people when I'm doing black people stuff. I love that. You can just catch me doing stuff. You know what I'm saying? There you go. San Diego, LA. That's where you're going? That's where you're going?

You're plugging your own dates on your own show? SF, am I not allowed to do that? Fucking gay. I'm a big homo. All over. More dates at samro.com slash shows. I'm coming all over.

Same. Get a bottle of Bodega Cat. Bodega Cat whiskey. What's Bodega Cat. Bodega Cat whiskey. What's Bodega Cat? That's our whiskey we sell. You got a whiskey together? Oh, yeah. Is it your whiskey or just you're peddling another man's whiskey?

That's our whiskey. Why have I never heard about this? It'll be at the cellar soon. We'll be drinking it together. Why not ever have this? We'll get you a bottle. I hate y'all. Well, there you go. You heard it here first, folks. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming, Sam. we'll get you a bottle I hate y'all well

there you go you heard it here first folks yeah thank you so much for coming Sam you're welcome I'm gonna get yelled at for this

why this was all in the up and up why are they gonna yell at you for this I'm talking to two white men and I'm not yelling at y'all it's already a problem well you can get one in

before you go hey y'all stop being bad and stop being white and stop being men and stop being men. And do what you need to do to uplift the black community and the gay community. What are you pointing at me? She's yelling at you, too. I'm trying to get it on you.

Oh, shit. Oh, all right. You're part of the problem, too, Marge. It's both of us. Yeah. Hey, I donated to the trans woman. Yeah, and I don't agree with nothing y'all said because y'all white. There you go.

So you're wrong. And I just want that on the record. You heard it here. Thank you. Thanks for coming, Sam. You got some black points. All right. Too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope And I get down in the same way

Up on the roof like a cop's coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be true