We Might Be Drunk - Ep 126: Noel Miller & Watermelon Gin

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

In this episode of "We Might Be Drunk" with Mark Normand and Sam Morril, they are joined by comedian and YouTube sensation Noel Miller. Noel rose to fame with his comedy duo "Tiny Meat Gang" and has since become a popular stand-up comedian. He joins the guys for a fun conversation about social media, internet trolls, and more, all while sipping on a refreshing watermelon gin cocktail. To make the watermelon gin cocktail, first muddle 3-4 slices of fresh cucumber in a cocktail shaker. Add 2 oz of gin, 1 oz of freshly squeezed lime juice, and 1 oz of watermelon juice. Shake well with ice and strain into a glass filled with ice. Top with soda water and garnish with a slice of watermelon and a sprig of mint. And now for a watermelon joke: Why did the watermelon go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little seedy! Don't forget to use the hashtags #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #NoelMiller #TinyMeatGang #WatermelonGinCocktail #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #CocktailRecipe #WatermelonJoke to help spread the word and share the laughs! Support the show & get 20% off & free shipping at https://www.manscaped.com promo code DRUNK Get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription at https://www.babbel.com/DRUNK Mark Normand: http://marknormandcomedy.com/ Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/shows Noel Miller: https://www.noelmillerlive.com/  Shop: https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com/shop Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod http://www.bodegacatspirits.com We Might Be Drunk is produced, recorded and edited by Gotham Production Studios. Head producer: Matthew Peters https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/    

yo hey we're here we're queer sam's hung over i'm hurting i'm down for the count oh yeah next game you just taped a special yeah yeah i was trying to get it off me oh look at that there it is that's a sally original that's a great shot great shot you got the lady the hot lady in the front smiling. Love that. Checking out the package. Got your ass right there. Yep.

How many shows did you do? We did four shows. First three were good. Like, I think we got something. But the last show was magic. That's what I heard. You need the magic. I was texting people for updates.

I was getting, Salacuse is sending me updates. James Webb, who's directing, was sending me updates. Little Garissimo was sending me updates. Oh, yeah. Everyone's sending me updates. Yeah, I told him that the first two shows you were playing, like, Prevent Defense. Like, don't fuck up. Yes.

Don't fuck up. I was stiff. Yeah. But I was nervous. Thank God I did four. You got to do a multiple. And Wilsilvince hosting. You forget, this guy's a pro.

He's been doing comedy since 81. I forget that all the time. There he is. There's Will. And so he's really getting that energy going. So that was huge. And then Gary comes in. And he's such a fun hang, Will.

I love him. Oh, great hang. He was bombing in the green room. There's Gary. Look at that. Doesn't even move. He plants those two tiny feet and just stays there this is why he thinks we can get away with eating like pigs on the road

because we don't move on stage right we're both immobile yeah yes and by the way he was in charge of ordering food all weekend and he blew it what he said i said we gotta get lunch on saturday he said i got it he picked the queefiest what was it it said rose all day on the wall there was a trans guy singing a melody you were there salakus walked in two girls are my dad's here oh sorry i mean it was brutal we were the oldest food stunk we didn't even eat we left because it was too queefy and uh we had to bail oh my god so we all gave veder shit then we went to a diner two bucks away him missing it is oh that's a great shot too holy shit look at that look at the asian guy with the give it a goog shirt up front wow yeah look at that i don't know that's the beginning of the end uh this is the end there

you go that's epic that's a great shot man s. Sally, killed it. Yeah, Sally, we got it. Should we bring our guest in here? I think he's taking a wee-wee. Okay. All right. All right. Well, yeah, man, that's great. I'm proud of you.

Thank you. Another special in the can. Yeah. Got to feel the good. Feels good. I mean, now it's just a matter of building new material, bombing all day. Well, you, this Norman pulls a fucking move on me last night. I got courtside Knicks tickets.

I was like, Mark, come to the game with me. And Mark says, ah, I got four sets. And I said, you just taped a special, so I'm not going to push you because I understand. I'm that guy too, who I can't take a night off. But you blew it. I blew it. I was on the Jumbotumbotron i know we could have been on that would have been a great we were together i know that that jumbo killed me i was like damn it i'm bombing at the cellar when you're on the jumbo you should have come with me i was wrecked i was

wasted at that game oh look at me look. Look how cute. Little collared shirt on. Oh, it's a make a wish. Adorable. And my Knicks throwback jacket, too. Dude, I was bombed at that game with my friend Chase. We were wrecked. It's open bar, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Forget about it. Open bar. There was like a little VIP room, and they take care of you. Yeah. I was in the elevator with Ed Falco, and I was like, don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. I just turned around. I anything i just turned around i was like my favorite show of all time and she goes thank you so much i was like i saw troy bond posted a bunch of pictures

with her and it just said mom she rules she's so cool and then uh randall went for 57 career high it was epic but we lost it was a tough just, all their, they were missing all their stars and the T-Wolves and they still somehow pulled it out on us. It was brutal. They couldn't miss. They were missing this star too,

I'll tell you that. I was pretty, I was pretty bummed that there'll be other times but come on Mark. There'll be other ones. That was the day of, I had,

I was, I had to shoot the wife. I get it, but that's why I didn't push you because I was like, you're fucking up. Yeah, I fucked up.

Because you need to, you need to do the fun stuff too every once in a while. You're right, you're fucking up yeah i fucked up because you need to you need to do the fun stuff too every once in a while you're right you're right and i'm also biased because i'm nick obsessed sure but yeah well also i i was so hung over on sunday on the flight back that i had some guilt with that now dude i'm dying today i thought i was gonna puke all morning yeah i mean i was like i was doing the the bel, you know, the preventative belching. Yes. And I was doing like, you know, the running, trying to sweat it off.

Just went. Oh, I've been there. Just gin coming out of me. Yes. And I was on the flight from Chicago and I was getting the salivation, you know, when you're about to yak. And I kept having to like, my stomach was gurgling, salivating, sweating. And I kept having to move and look out the window.

And the lady next to me was like, this guy's on drugs or something. It was bad. You ever have that happen? You ever have that happen and there's no Wi-Fi? And you're like, I need a distraction. I need something. I was so hungover the other day. I was trying to watch Jurassic Park on a flight.

And I was too hungover to pay attention to Jurassic Park. Yes. Do you know how fucking hungover you have to be to not pay attention to a blockbuster what do you do your head down what do you do how do you cope with that on a plane it's you watch something i'll watch i need to watch like a marvel movie something dumb as shit yeah you're like a dilophosaurus you're gonna yak in any minute deep cut anything that's gonna take my mind off the pain i'm in yeah and then a lot of coffee and a lot of water. Yeah.

There was one point on the ride there I was so hungover I couldn't roll down the window. I couldn't do it. Hey, let's get in here, man. Get in here. Noel. Noel. Noel. Hey, what's shaking, man?

Nice to meet you guys. Sorry. How's it going? Thanks for joining us. Yeah, of course. I like you guys going raw. No intro, nothing. No intro. Ah, no.

It's a hang. It's a hang. Dig it. Good to have you everywhere yeah yeah i've been following you guys a little bit ah everywhere i pass through i see you guys on marquees or whatever marquees yeah yeah oh on the road you're saying yeah yeah on the road yeah so in a weird way this is kind of that sounded grand but he's talking about like the toledo funny bone or something no not at all man what was that place you did in new orleans oh the uh joy the joy how was that

that was nice okay you how hard are you on the road right now uh shoot how many days we done now like yeah yeah you know you're working hard when your tour manager is wiped not just the comic yeah dude yeah no it's been a minute. How many days at a time are you out? Like five. Basically, so we did the sprinter for like three weeks. Oh, nice. Yeah, and then had a three-week break, and then we're doing the bus for the next five. I'm doing the bus hard. I heard, man.

I love it. Yeah? Do you sleep on it? Yeah, I mean, I think you get used to it after a while. But that first week, when you get the bunk cough, you gotten it yet? Yeah. You know what we get a lot is, I mean, first off, you eliminate travel. You just wake up in a new city.

Which is cool. But I do feel like every day you're like, are we all sick or is this just allergies? Yeah. And then you're like, I think it's allergies. But then you hate to be that, I'm the stereotype Jew where I'm just like, Nasacort, where's the fucking Nasacort? Nasacort, I don't even know these terms. You sniff it up. Oh, you know court, where's the fucking nasa court? Nasa court, I don't even know these terms. You sniff it up.

Oh, you know who's really doing the bus is Jay Moore. All right, he's fucking genie bus. Oh my God. It was a leap. That took me a second. You have to know about him, fucking genie bus, whatever. But he's doing the bus. Yeah, yeah, the bunk cough. I've never heard of that.

Yeah, it's like from the little air conditioner. Well, you've got to turn that off, dude. You can't have the air in your face all night. Yeah, that's the mistake I made the first time. I've done the bunk jerk. Have you? Where you try to not move. You're like Anne Frank in there. On the burst?

Anne Frank. You don't want to make any noise and have anybody hear you. Yeah, lying beneath the floorboard. That's the Attell joke. Bunk bed is a good training noise and have anybody hear you. Yeah, lying beneath the floorboard. Exactly. That's the Attell joke. Bunk beds are good training for jail. What are you doing up there? Nothing.

Watch your eyelids. Watch your eyelids. Yeah, yeah. You've done the jerk. Not on the bus. Wow. Dude, bunk jerk. How many have you had?

Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Dude jerking off in the little thing? Well, I mean, the shade's open. That's true. The, bunk jerk. How many have you had? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. You're jerking off in the little thing? Well, I mean, the shade's open. No, the shade's closed. And it's four in the morning. You know, you wake up and you're like, I got a phone. I got a sock.

You know, that's like the hazing of the animals. Just like some dude just jerking off. Remember the, what was it? The frat, the ookie kooky? Ookie kooky. Oh, yeah. That and the elephant walk. Oof. Yeah. The Limp Bizkit. Huh? jerking off the remember the what was it the frat the the ookie cookie cookie oh yeah that and the elephant walk oh yeah that's where limp biscuit comes from really oh that's how fred dirsch was born on an ookie cookie yeah he comes from a cookie he came from eight frat guys

but oh damn yeah that that's the shit i we were on a bus and our bus driver this guy jeff is awesome he's like a character i just saw a jar, and our bus driver, this guy Jeff, is awesome. He's like a character. I just saw a jar of pickles by where he's driving. I was kind of like, I love to just eat pickles. He's like, well, I don't want to get too dependent on coffee late at night, and the acidity keeps me awake. That's crazy.

That's interesting, actually. That taste, yeah, it does wake you up a little bit. That's a pro. It's a pro, but he was telling me, I was like, who's been a lot? And he's telling me, dude, he drives bands around. Do you ever ask your guy, like, who's been a lot? And he's telling me, dude, he drives bands around. Do you ever ask your guy who's been a pain? Honestly, no, because we've had some pretty, we've had character bus drivers, but in a way where we just kind of leave them alone.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll let you finish. I'll tell you about this one guy. This dude is great. And he was telling me, I was like, give me a comic who is a lot. And he goes, Tom Segura, you're not supposed to poop on the bus. Oh, yeah.

That's a rule. You're not supposed to poop, but he would do, I guess they're called hot bags. Yeah. And he would just say, hey, we left three hot bags for you. So you just take a bag and poop in it, and then you're like, all right, that's it. See? Bus jerk. Better than bus poop.

Way better. All right. Which one do you feel more regretful after, though? True. Either way. Jerk. Yeah, what's your story? Oh, well, I don't want to out him.

I mean, it's a pretty common name. His name's Bill. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark. Yeah. Everybody knows that pooping on the bus is okay. Kids are stupid.

There is no God, okay? Bill, he had like really big stature. His eyes were kind of crazy. Big Bill. Yeah, Big Bill. Is it a comic? Bus driver, not a comic. Yes, bus driver.

Oh, sorry, sorry. I was like, Bill Burr. Yeah, man. yeah man now he would um and his diet was he would just go into walmart and he'd get slabs of like beef and he'd cook them on a george foreman whoa yeah and he just he was just kind of like this like i wouldn't be surprised if this was like slabs of human like he just kind of had this vibe to him where he's like i'm going to get beef and we're like all right bill yeah damn bus drivers are too comfortable they're up there in their own world no one's talking to him where he's like, I'm going to get beef. And we're like, all right, Bill. Yeah. Damn. Bus drivers are too comfortable. They're up there in their own world.

No one's talking to them. No one's shaming them. So they get weird. The pickles, the beef. I love it. I had a guy on Schumer's bus. He would just eat Altoids. And I was like, dude, how many Altoids have you had?

He would have packs of tins. They're addictive as fuck. Well, that, and you can't fall asleep on an Altoid because you're so minted up. Yeah. So that was his trick. Damn. Yeah, he smelled better than the beef and pickle yeah everyone they just used to do meth yeah yeah those were the days i think there's still some meth-y oh yeah out there yeah man we had another driver he just like sure like kind of look at porn while he drove hey really yeah it was like it was like soft core just like girls in bikinis but he just kind of oh that's

nothing that's fine that's all right i do that too like girls in bikinis. Oh, that's nothing. That's fine. That's all right. I do that too. Like, man, you've been jacking off. He's like, look, I got to stay awake. I respect that. The problem is when you finish, though, then you start dozing. That's true.

After you jerk. Don't ask me how I know. I can't. We don't do that. We do some low brow shit. Like James, who you guys know, directed your special, James Webb. Shout out, Webby. Just, like, shredded.

He's, like, the dude that we show up at the hotel at, like, midnight, and he's like, I'm going to the gym. And we're like, now? He just jumps on the bench, 350 above. So he's the dude on the bus in between the bunks. He's just doing tricep dips. And we're like, all right, moving bus's just doing tricep dips and we're like all right moving bus just doing tricep dips but late at night we opened veder's little curtain up and james would just fart in there just a little just a little bus camaraderie yeah and veder's used to living in a nook i assume he lives in a tree we have a friend he's about this tall he's in a tree house

yeah he's making cookies with his wife. But yeah, the bus, I'm so sick of flying. So the bus sounds pretty magical. The bus is good. Just the stress of travel. Yeah. It's just, it's a lot. And then also, like we're with a crew.

So when we fly, you know, I've, you know, James, he's got so much camera gear. There's always an issue at airport security. And I get to watch his anger problems kind of unfold. Where he's like, it's a fucking camera, dude. And I'm like, shit, this guy's on roids. I don't know what happened. He might choke you out. You better chill out. So you're doing theaters.

I am, yeah, on this run. That's fun. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I think you got a biggie. What is it? Radio City? No, Town Hall. Town Hall, sorry. The other one. Yeah. It's pretty cool. I think you got a biggie. What is it? Radio City? No, Town Hall. Town Hall.

Sorry. The other one. Yeah. Have you ever done Town Hall? Not Town Hall, no. It's beautiful. Is it? It's one of the best venues, I think.

Oh, yeah. Sick. In the country. Hell yeah. It's so classic. Yeah. They do the Patrice O'Neill benefit there every year. Damn.

It's coming up on the 4th. Is it? There you go. April 4th. Dang. Don't you think it's one coming up on the 4th. Is it April 4th? Dang. It's it's don't you think it's one of the best rooms? Beautiful, old, historic, pretty. It's like tight in there.

It's small. It's right in the midtown. You're going to love it. It feels like it's 300 people. But right. What is it like? Fifteen hundred or two thousand. Yeah.

Yeah. Look at that. It's like epic, man. Yeah. No, I'm I'm stoked. I haven't performed here in like three years maybe so to come back and to have the room be so big it's pretty crazy hell yeah so you you made it big uh what on the internet yeah sketches and whatnot yeah it's it's funny because i was doing stand-up before

and i i like really resisted the internet but i kind of like gave in at some point and thought there's no way especially in LA like you just you can't get time right so I thought like all right if I can make stupid little sketches maybe this will you know I could like con some promoter into like giving me 10 minutes instead of seven or some shit well it's status you know look at these all these views and they go okay this guy's something yeah so um then like the internet stuff kind of like really ramped up out of nowhere um just by way of working with my podcast co-host cody cody yeah and the pod is huge right yeah we've uh we've been fortunate to do pretty good mr beast on yeah yeah we did how was? It was pretty great. I made him put on a Gucci suit, and then I was kind of joking.

I'm like, hey, you hate poor people, right? And he's got a lot of young fans, and they thought it was serious. So they got really mad at him. Young people, man. The worst. Yeah, they're making little TikToks like,

the truth about Mr. Beast. Wow. And he's like, I hate poor people. Yeah, it's pretty good. And then he cured blindness, and they all turn, i don't get the beef he's helping me i made a thousand people see yeah but that's but people honestly the people getting mad about it is probably helping him because it's just more eyeballs i guess eyeballs yeah i guess but it's still weird like the like i don't know

well we'll get into that later but he seems like a great guy he's a tall honky yeah yeah he is is he six six or something i would say like six four or something like six three he's big big guy yeah how did he get so big um that size or no on youtube i think he ate well but he just but like how did how did he blow up because i don't know i see his name everywhere but i don't really know much about him he started on youtube by doing these really kind of absurd videos where he would just film himself and he'd say i'm gonna count to a million you know and then the next one would be like i'm gonna count to two million and then you know or i'll watch this video for 24 hours straight and the video will be 24 hours long and he'd actually do it what's pretty crazy is all those videos he said no one ever watched past one minute.

Interesting. So he could have literally did anything after the first five. Wow. I mean, look at these views on the two-day video. 50 million. Wow. Last month, 125 million.

Unreal. Well, take that, Oscars. Dude, honestly. It's hilarious. The Oscars is like 13 million views or something. They should just get Rogan to host the Oscars. Or Mr. Beast. Yeah, really.

Totally. At least put this Oscar up my ass. Got to wait until the end. I put 50 Oscars in my ass. I'm going to count how many people actually saw one of these Best Picture nominees. No one. That'd be a quick video. Oh, thank you so much you what are we drinking here this

looks beautifully garnished yeah we got a watermelon gin fizz yes i heard you like watermelon and gin yeah i was trying to bring you guys a bottle of you heard of empress 1908 it's like a it's a purple gin so it's kind of like this you know it's kind of corny but it's got a cool like effect when you pour it in with the watermelon juice. It changes color. Oh, cool. Yeah, it's just fun to look at. All right. I'm using Misguided today. That's fine.

These guys are from Brooklyn. They're a friend of the bar, Joey Rose's. They're Lower East Side based. Most of their bars are down there that they distribute to. That's a summer drink right there. I'm getting into the different color. I've been using a vermouth that's lighter, a sweet vermouth. And I drink a lot of Negronis and manhattans at home yeah and it just looks a little off the color but it tastes

so fucking good if you get a really good uh vermouth you know yeah yeah this is great this is very good i mean that is a top-notch Jesus yeah it's fresh as hell it tastes like water slides like summertime yeah goes down easy you got a busy day tonight or a busy night? No, no, I'm just chilling, and then we got Portland, Maine tomorrow. Oh, great, dude. Get a lobster roll. Yeah, dude. That's a fun town.

Yeah. That's a really nice town. Yeah, I've been there once. I'm allergic as hell to fish, so I can't. What? I know, it sucks. Damn, all fish? Yeah.

You can't have any fish? Pretty much. Shrimp? No. Whoa. Yeah. Pussy? Yeah. You can't have any fish? Pretty much. Shrimp? No. Whoa. Yeah. Pussy? Yeah.

Exactly, yeah. Holy hell. Damn. That's what my mom used to say. So have you done a challenge, I think they call it, a test or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done one of those. And what do they just jam an EpiPen in you after you react?

They take a panel of 15 needles and just like prick it on your back. Wait, this is a Mr. Beast video. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I put 30 needles in my arm. Which one of them got me high? And yeah, it came back like all seafood would just fuck me up. Wow. Yeah.

Damn, that's crazy. Well, what's crazier is when I was younger, because my mom ate a lot of fish, like just naturally because of her culture. So she didn't believe believe me so she used to feed me fish just be sitting there she's probably building building immunity honestly yeah yeah but i sit there and like my throat is like getting kind of tight and i'm like i can't eat it and she's like keep going wow actually he out jewed you that is crazy yeah i eat crustaceans. And lox and salmon. Well, yeah. Oh, my God. A Jew that can't eat salmon would be torture.

White fish, gefilte fish. Big fish culture. You're a big fish. Big fish culture. Wait, what's mom? What's mom's culture? It's a fun bit. I've never said publicly.

Oh. Really? Oh, you won't say? Yeah. Wow, so you're playing every angle here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smart. Could be anything.

Could be anything. That's good, because you're kind of ambiguous racially so you could be half black half samoan half asian half latino that's too many half oh yeah i could be all of them you know i could be a quarter everything you don't know i'm going with asian because you didn't call him out on his math that was fucking racist, dude. That was despicable. You take that hate elsewhere, okay? Yeah, dude.

I'm going, I think it's something Latino-based. Well, now he's not going to tell us anyway. No, I don't know he's not going to tell us, but... Well, he got watermelon. All right. That gets a laugh. That was more subtle. That was more subtle.

Here's a dumb question, and feel free to kick me in the balls here. This is where I get weird. I'd love to. Okay. It's weird that you can be gender fluid, but you can't be racially fluid. Rachel Dolezal? Well, but you literally can be three, four different races. You could. So isn't that more, make you literally can be three, four different races. So can't, isn't that more, make more sense to be racially

fluid? I wonder if we'll get to a point with 23andMe where they can tell you what gender you are. Like if you were born the wrong gender. I doubt it. I think maybe they can tell taste buds, dude. Can they? Yeah. I've never done it. Uh-huh. You know, if it's in your head

it's not on your body. Yeah. Yeah, the chromosomes and the biology is still the same. So yeah, it's up here. Yeah. So I don't know. I like racially fluid, dude. All right, I got something there.

Yeah, but you are racially fluid. I think so. I think I qualify a little bit. You are ambiguous as fuck, for sure. I can't put my finger on it. I like it because everyone in New York wants to be racist, and it's like they're just trying to compute. Yes. What are you?

Yes, exactly. Where are you from originally? I was actually born in Toronto. That doesn't help either. That's not helping. Most nationalities of any city. Yeah. Yeah.

And Canadians, a whole wrench in the racist gears. In Toronto, though, that is East Coast. Mm-hmm. True, but very diverse city. I'm thinking it's a mix. Yeah. But with what, I'll have no idea. But hey, we don't care anyway.

I don't see race or whatever. But yeah, good for you. Yeah, man. I think gender fluid would bail a lot of streamers out when they get caught saying the N-word. They're like, oh, sorry, I identified differently that day. Oh, you mean racial fluid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.

I don't know, dude. Rachel Dolezal got just destroyed. No, yeah, no. We've talked about her a lot on this pod. Yeah. She really reached. Did you buy her OnlyFans? No, I didn't.

What? You didn't know? You didn't know that? Oh, yeah. I mean, I think we just found that out like a week ago. What? You didn't know that? No. Oh, yeah. I think we just found that out a week ago. What does she do on it? Feet. Only?

Women? No, I think she's more than feet. I thought it was more than feet. Women can make a lot of money on feet. Dudes love feet. Yeah, man. I don't get it. I think specific dudes love feet, so it's like a very small minority of guys love it,

and they'll pay anything for it. Which minority? Yeah, dude. dude yeah which one fluid shouldn't it just be free is the apology for like it's my only fans it's up for free like sorry it's free for the black community is she donating it all to the naacp that would help well i don't know what she'd do for work now and maybe it's just only fans maybe. Maybe it's OnlyFans. It's funny. It's like OnlyFans and Cameo. It's like a weird crossover. Yeah. It's like OnlyFans is really Cameo for people. I mean, you see

some celebs on there, I guess. Yeah. Cameo. We need to get some Cameos, some weird ones for We Might Be Drunk. You can get some interesting people on Cameo. Oh, yeah. Those crazy ones. Alec Baldwin. He's not doing it. No, no. You said give it a shot.

Thank you. I wonder if Rachel Dolezal's only fan takes the black Amex. All right. There's your feet. Why are you giving it away for free, Doley? What the hell? Well, I'm sure someone, can't you screenshot it? Oh, yeah.

Good point. It's about support, you know? Damn. There she is. She fooled a lot of people. She fooled black people for a while. Did she? Yeah, she was in the NAACP in Seattle.

No, she headed the NAACP. So there you go. I think in like, I don't know, 50 years, you will be allowed to transition racially, and then we're going to go, she was like Rosa Parks, everybody turned on her. I don't think so. Yeah, I don't know about everybody turned on her yeah i don't

know about that mark my words and you would have said this about gender 50 years ago people go oh shut up she was like the first to do it that girl bad baby that rapper she did it too the cash me outside girl yeah she just posted some pictures where she looked like she was blackfishing or pull them Pull him up! She's kinda hot. She made a million dollars on OnlyFans the first day. What?! First, when she turned 18. That's pretty fucking creepy. Yeah.

It's weird to have a countdown. Yeah. It's weird that there were people waiting. Yeah. Well, I mean, the fact that there's a grand opening for your consent age, it's kinda fucking dark. I bet Leo's got a couple of those running like those clocks that say like mexico new york he's probably got one with like eight different women he's got a talent scout the way the nba has he's like see what you can

find coming out of high school yes yes get her an suv all right wow is that her interesting how old is she a kind of a teenager no she's 20 something yeah so have you ever had a guy go hey you fucking slur and you're like that's the wrong one yeah really do you correct them no no no yeah but don't you think would make them more mad if you were like actually try again yeah it's a game yeah just running through racial jeopardy i like it the daily double yeah i get those dms all the time i just laugh i'm like close really what's your favorite food to eat water big water guy yeah big water guy water i think this is genius i'm gonna do this with gay yeah we were like are you gay i'm like maybe i'm all over the place this is genius i love this because it's all so stewie put too much emphasis on race and all this shit anyway so this is great

just do you yeah be noel that's it that's my race blow me that's what I tell my team all the time. Fucking blow me, dude. That's a weird race. Just a race of people like, just suck my dick, dude. By the way, I think I know what it is. Really? Make a guess. If I get it, will you say it right? I don't know. He can't say it.

Okay, so half Puerto Rican. That was when my mind went to the East Coast. Half Filipino. That's pretty good. Yeah. Puerto Rican. Because your first name is a Hispanic name, but that also could be Filipino. Oh, I thought it was a French name.

Filipino is where you get some ambiguity, too. And he said his mom loved to cook fish, and it's part of her culture. That's part of their culture. Oh, shit. Well, don't blow up his whole thing here. No, that's fine. All right, all right. A Puerto Rican. A Puerto all right. A Puerto Rican.

A Puerto Rican. It could be. He could be right. You know Sia, the singer? Yeah. She won't show her face. This is your Sia thing. I won't show my race, dude. I love it.

I'm just waiting for the big- She won't show her face? No. No one knows what she looks like? They know, but in all her media, she doesn't intentionally show it. Oh, I'm an idiot. I thought it was all a big secret. Well, how about the Gorillaz, that band? Oh, yeah. Another one. They were funny. Don't they show it. Oh, I'm an idiot. I thought it was all a big secret. Well, how about like the Gorillaz, that band?

Oh, yeah. Another one. They were fun. Don't they have new shit out too? They were cool, man. They were good. I listened to their new album. It was pretty good.

Yeah, it was fun. What kind of music do you listen to? You like rock. I try to listen to a lot, but primarily a lot of rap. Do you like the Buena Vista Social Club? What is that? Cuban. We ruled out cuban nice dude i was like is that a car club like what is that dude yeah nah um what was i gonna say oh yeah you were gonna say something oh yeah no i'm just

waiting for like 23andme to try to cut me a huge sponsor. Oh. To admit. Oh, yes. That would be smart. Yeah. I think it's pretty cool. Would you ever do it?

Maybe. I think it's kind of cool to just know, even though, I mean, although they're using it for evil already. Yeah. There's going to be a clone. Well, it's such horseshit because we all go, race doesn't matter. We're all equal. Then we're like, I wonder what I am.

Why do we need to know so bad if it doesn't matter if we're all the same or whatever the hell because we're not all the same because they tell you more than just your background it's kind of interesting well race and culture is interesting it is we have differences and you know it's fun i think we just get annoyed when it's someone's entire personality yeah because those are the people when they then they find out that they weren't even that and you're like well you based your whole identity on a lie yeah exactly those are the people that i think bug us a little bit mencia mencia ned wholeness right that's his name yeah he's not even mexican well now we're doing that with uh disorders like i'm autistic i'm uh depressed or

whatever i have this and that and you're like notice you never pick one that makes you look bad yeah you know it's never like i'm a narcissist i have irritable bowel syndrome why aren't you posting about that i'm a sociopath you know it's always like the victim ones you're right it's never like i'm sorry i have narcissistic personality disorder exactly never never no it's like i was uh i'm abused or i'm depressed it's always something where you're like, I'm abused or I'm depressed. It's always something where you're like, oh, I'm sorry. It's never like, I'm a serial killer. I was a bully. Yeah, I'm a bully.

That is a good one. To make a victim. I have a problem. I'm a serial killer. It sounds like they were the victims. I'm a victim too. You think I want to kill people? It's awful.

I was born this way. I'm just laughing at IBS being your thing. Just posting your diarrhea like, oh, it came too quick. We're doing a march very close to a bathroom. There's a girl that works at the bar who said every guy she's ever dated has had IBS. And I told her, I think they're just trying to hide from you in the bathroom. Yeah. Damn.

Well, that is the thing. I like, you know, look, there is that point in the relationship where you're like you know because you want to eat fun foods together but what you can do pizza early on you do like I mean Indian early on is a fucking that's love dude that's love it's a roll of dice though too totally that's what I like about my lady she's got crazy lactose and then I

show up with a piece of pizza she's like bring it on and I'm like what about the bathroom she's like I'll deal with that then sounds like you're dealing with it. And I'm like, what about the bathroom? She's like, I'll deal with that then. She's living. Sounds like you're dealing with it. I'm okay with it. She's the one just destroying the bowl. Damn. But she's like, I'll just do it.

It's like a guy who drinks. You're like, I'm going to be hungover. I got a big day tomorrow, but bring on the booze. I'm sure she really appreciates you sharing all this. Oh, she's a big shit bag. That is cool though i i've dated someone like that too who had uh stomach issues i won't say who in my story but uh she had big stomach issues and same shit she would eat the pizza and i was like that's what you want she can rally but i've had the people too you ever date a vegan and they're and they're like

this is pretty good pizza and you're like just have one real fucking slice with me. I know. And then tell me that's real pizza. I'll eat the vegan with you. Like, you know, to be a, you know, to be supportive every once in a while. But like, let's be real. Would you ever convince anyone? She's not supporting you, bro.

What? She's not supporting you. Ah. That's a good point. That's the problem with the vegans. You got to cater to them. They rarely come the other way. But.

Yeah. Sorry, what were you saying? No, I was going to say, would you ever get them to cave? Just like eat a little cheese. Would they give you that? Yeah, yeah. And they would cave usually because cheese, real cheese, dude. You can't.

Would they admit? The harder thing for me about being vegan would honestly be like the cheese and the eggs. Yeah, totally. I eat eggs and cheese like every day. Yeah. Love eggs. I mean, meat, it's not like I could give it up easily, but like that would be easier for me to give up than the other stuff.

Isn't oral not vegan? I'm just saying. It's all animal product. But you're not eating it, I guess. You slang. You say you eat it. You swallow. Saliva.

Jizz. But if you- You could be a squirter. But if you- Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs, that's not vegan. Right, right. Okay. Dumber. But if you. Right, right. Okay.

But if you're just licking. Okay. So she could, by that logic, she could lick a pork chop. Yeah. That's a good point. I have a point. What? What about multiple migs?

The guy in the cell next to me. He's the only guy in history who knows that guy's name. That movie still rocks. Oh, yeah. It was on cable recently cable recently and holy shit the last few scenes are you a big movie guy uh in a way but i'm just still picturing the jizz coming out of your hand right there dude we i was walking over here they have a dungeons and dragons movie coming out i'm like are you fucking kidding me yeah when's solitaire the movie coming out? Who gives a shit? Minesweeper. Wow, Dungeons and Dragons.

They're really running out of shit. You didn't play growing up? No, I didn't. You did? No, no, no, no. Oh, damn it. He's definitely not black. We're narrowing it down.

All right. My brother played. He was a big goth, queef, black makeup. What? Oh, yeah. I can kind of see your brother being into that. I know a big goth, queef, black makeup. What? Oh, yeah. I can kind of see your brother being into that. I know a lot of people that play now, though.

Renown? Yes. Oh, no. It's like a resurgence. That's true. Yeah. But watch out for those guys. Yeah.

I know a dude who he'll play over Zoom. He'll be on a long drive just taking a call. Yeah. Is it you? No, no. Hell no. Should have long drive just taking a call yeah and like is it you no no hell no good long drive your bus driver stays awake yeah it's i just don't get it because like my my brother would play with like 80 nerds you know they'd be in a warehouse just playing this shit at eight in the morning and all that and i was like this is i had to go because i was i the younger brother. So my mom didn't want to watch.

She's like, go with him. So I'd just be sitting there like this. And I'm like, we have video games. They would literally draw a card and be like, hit point, you'd lose a hit point. And they're like, oh, okay, one hit point down. And you're like, we got Tetris. We got Call of Duty.

We got Zelda. We got Mario. What are we doing with this shit? They have a Mario movie coming out now, too. It actually looks kind of cool. Where are you at one? Are you kidding me? Seth Rogen is Donkey Kong.

Is he? That's pretty fun. Chris Pratt is Mario. Yeah, I don't see Chris Pratt as Mario, though. Yeah. Yeah, but I bet this kid is an Italian actor. But I saw the trailer, and it's like a slow version of the score where I was like, this is like fucking incredible.

Pull it up. I feel like they should have gotten Sebastian to do Mario's look. Yes! Sebastian as Mario. What's with all these coins? I was like, this is fucking incredible. Pull it up. I feel like they should have gotten Sebastian to do Mario's look. Yes. Sebastian as Mario. What's with all these coins everywhere? I mean, I can see it sucking too, but it looks kind of cool. It looks great.

It's pretty, yeah. I remember when that game came out on N64. That was like the craziest shit. Oh, yeah. I'm going to start on Mario Kart. Mario Kart is maybe like the best community game Yes Easily That and GoldenEye

GoldenEye was good too But something about Mario Kart That was like It still had the violence You were racing I mean it was pretty great Yeah I feel like that's the one

That anyone's willing to pick up Yes I feel like any other game You kind of have to convince people But Mario Kart people They're like yeah What player'd you go with toad toad i was a yoshi guy interesting i was the girl peach yeah bowser bowser he's heavy and fast yeah always i like remember they had battle mode too it was fucking that game was incredible incredible n64 really fucked shit up i mean like that

wrestling game No mercy was like oh, bro. We all play that shit Dan Soder, and I used to play that constantly It's me Soder Anthony DeVito Greg stone. We'd creative carrot. We created our own characters. Oh, yeah Yeah, it was great, which if you want to wreck anything based off a video game The Last of Us. That's my wreck Play the game. It's the closest to and it's they didn't like I heard them it's so it was pretty good that's what I'm talking about it's dude you know what I got a good wreck for you and it's from our boy H Foley who was on the are you garbage up who wrecked it on the app and I watched it because the Foley the movie dinner rush it's on

Amazon dinner Danny Aiello. It's fucking good. Really? It starts kind of weird where you're like, where is this going? That's a good movie, man. Good little indie movie from like 20 years ago.

I wrecked it to Colin Quinn the other night so I'm awaiting a text, fuck you, or I liked it. He's very passionate with his responses. Well, off your rack,

I watched Megan. What do you think? I thought it was fun. Bro, Megan was awesome. Ronnie Chang fucking kills it. Ronnie Chang was awesome. I liked it. I mean, it's campy, but it's supposed to be. It's a fucking doll killing people. Yeah, I liked it.

It's basically Chucky. It's girl Chucky. It's girl Chucky. Exactly. But it was kind of more fun than Chucky. Definitely, yeah. A little smarter. Yeah. Nah, I liked Megan a lot. What's another movie you've seen recently? Hey, folks, we might be drunk, brought to you by Manscaped.

You know, we got to trim those pubes. You've heard all about it. It's hot girl summer, but what about hot men? Get ready for hot guy summer and level up with Manscaped. Manscaped is dedicated to upping your confidence by giving you all the tools you need

to be well-groomed. I got a couple razors at home. I throw one in the suitcase, one in the bathroom, one at my bedside in case I'm about to get spiffy next to the lady. The Performance Package 2.0 is a lifesaver. It includes the Essential Lawn Mower 4.0, which is a waterproof, cordless body hair trimmer. The Weed Whacker 2.0, perfect for grooming those ear and nose hairs and some extra goodies for those crown jewels. Refresh your balls with Crop Reviver Ball Toner and the Crop Preserver Ball Deodorant.

While you're at it, deal with those toenails, too, with the Shears 2.0 Nail Kit to round out your grooming collectione. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code DRUNK at manscaped.com. That's 20% off and free shipping with the code DRUNK, D-R-U-N-K, at manscaped.com. Trim your chesticles with the besticles. Thank you. If you're planning on a summer trip, let me put you on my go-to travel hack. It's called Babbel, the language learning app that has sold over 10 million subscriptions.

In just 10 minutes a day, you can learn a whole new language and not look like an idiot on that fancy trip to a foreign country. Easy, fun. Babbel's expertly crafted lessons are based on real-life scenarios, so you'll be learning vocabulary you'll actually use, not that bibliotheca shit. Created by over 150 language experts, you're in great hands when you choose to learn a new language with Babbel. No matter what your learning style is,

Babbel has something that will work for you. In addition to lessons lessons you can even access podcasts games stories live classes plus it comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee right now get up to 55 off your subscription when you go to babble.com slash drunk that's babble.com slash drunk for up to 55 off your subscription babble language for life well i love all quiet on the western front but that's a little heavy. I gotta watch that. Yeah, I like that too. You liked it?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I thought it was the best movie in 10 years. What? It's incredible. 10 years? It's incredible. What's a good movie in 10 years? Well, 1918 was a pretty good, or 1907.

I think even Dunkirk was a pretty good movie. Blows that out of the water. Blows that out of the water too. Blows Dunkirk out of the water? Oh, yeah. Dunkirk, beautiful and well done and all that, but this is a better story, a better message. What's a great movie in the last 10 years?

Parasite was good. Parasite was good. All right. Parasite was amazing. Not as good as Parasite. I'll give you that. Parasite was fucking awesome. Yeah.

Yeah, loved Parasite. That was awesome. That was good. Okay. But this might be a better movie. That was fun. Whiplash was fucking cool. I love Whiplash.

Damien Cazale? Cazale. Yeah, something like that.ash was fucking cool. I love Whiplash. Damien Cazale? Cazale. Yeah, something like that. Oh, I got another. You know what I rewatched? Again, I've watched this movie a hundred times. I've wrecked it in the pod before,

but it's one of the best movies ever and Salamanca will have my back on this one. Original Taken, Apella, 1, 2, 3. Watched it like a week ago. I made him watch it at my house.

I've seen that movie 2,000 times. You're the one who told me to watch it. Oh, what's that? You're the one who originally told me to watch it. Yeah, I fucking love? You're the one who originally told me to watch it. Yeah, I fucking love that movie.

What movie is it? It's a Walter Matthau, Jerry Stiller, Robert Shaw taking a Pelham 123. It's a hijacking of a New York City subway. Every character is a piece of shit in it. Got it. It's why it's so funny. Like, it's just a hijacking. And they're like, people, there's a gun to their head.

And everyone's like, ugh. Yeah. Like, they're not even worried. they're just annoyed that they're annoyed it's a classic thing where they're annoyed the train is running slow. That's great. It's an awesome movie. Oh and that guy Martin Balsam who's in everything dude. Yeah. Who's in like 12 Angry Men he's in All the President's Men he's in every movie that guy.

You're laughing at him. man he's in all the president's man he's in every movie that guy it's bad fucking ass it's like you know what it's like the forgotten one of that era where everyone talks about like dog day afternoon or freeze connection but this is on that level dude it's like warriors or something like that how's the remake? I heard the remake sucked I heard the same and Denzel I believe Denzel's awesome but I It's like Warriors or something like that. How's the remake? I heard the remake sucked. I heard the same. I didn't even watch it.

Travolta in it? Yeah. And Denzel, I believe. Denzel's awesome. I love Denzel. I feel like even today you can't do that. If somebody was like, your attention, please, nobody would look up. They don't get on their AirPods and they just get shot.

Exactly. I like what you said on Rogan about no one makes a movie with everyone looking at their phones. It never happens. That should be a whole movie. Just a guy doing this. That's two hours gone you know just in this new noel miller video oh god now you have a drunk cooking yeah yeah yeah

it's like fake we we wear like these dui goggles uh-huh yeah they simulate being drunk it's actually worse than being drunk honestly really yeah we gotta try that yeah why is it worse than being drunk because it's not like like drunk i feel it's kind of like a feeling you know and these goggles it's just it's all visual yeah just warps your vision like crazy that's no fun yeah i want the feeling is gin your drink of choice usually these days yeah why is that um i don't know i I just, out of everything, I typically just drink gin and tonics now. Yeah. Yeah.

Low weight or whatever. Low sugar. I discovered- Tonics got sugar. Oh, it does? Yeah. Yeah. I discovered drinking pretty late, though.

Like, the first tour, me and Tom and I did, I was drinking fucking Long Island iced teas. What? Dude. That's a fucking party foul right there. Yeah, dude. How old are you 33 oh come on dude i remember doing myrtle beach and every table it was trays of long island iced teas and would you believe it they interrupted every fucking joke yeah no way really oh i mean that's like i remember drinking those as a kid and that's the one when like like, your mom was like, what have you done?

I remember puking, like, my guts out. Oh, yeah. And my mom would bring me a cup of tea. Apparently, she didn't really drink. I'm like, you know what I'm craving right now? Lipton. Thanks, Mom. Yeah.

More lemon. Puking my guts out. You ever seen someone make a Long Island? It's like liquor, liquor, liquor, and then coke. Yeah. Just a little bit what mormons drink when they finally leave the church right it's like that or an amf you know the body host motherfucker it's just a long island with blue curacao and sprite instead of sour mix i got

trash here it's yeah so anytime you see that blue drink go across the room it's going to a garbage table but you know that's like but that's like that makes sense it's a mormon though because you're not drinking your whole life. And then you just want to get fucking ripped. That's the bad thing about not drinking until you're older. You don't know how to drink. Yeah. Yep.

That's why I like them though. Because I just get the buzz like straight away. Right, right. Just getting it done. I mean, that's more than a buzzer. That's five shots. Yeah, I know. Yeah.

It was bad. You have two of those. You've had 10 shots. Yeah. And everybody says, don't mix alcohol. And you're like, that's just like fuck you yeah we're mixing bitch in one cup yeah dude that drink is like new york city a lot of mixing and a lot of insanity and it doesn't end well yeah and barfing yeah yeah i we used to drink i think this might be in new orleans only thing it was called 1-800-FUCK-ME-UPS it cut right to the chase did you guys have those

is that like a hurricane uh i don't know what it was like a pink lemonade you see them dumping that country time uh mix in there in the top of the igloo cooler and then they would get a horrible yeah i get like a paddle but those are fun to get ripped my friend we used to do like franzia uh sangria sangria with franzia it tasted great, but holy shit, you're dead. Francia. That's young people shit. You know what else I used to love doing when we were young is, and you can't do this shit as an adult, Tabasco

in a tequila shot. A little touch. It tastes pretty fucking good, but holy shit. Never heard of that. Oh my god, imagine what it would do to your butthole these days. I mean, that's just like violence. I see people do that with Jack Daniels a lot, too. Really? Jack and Tabasco? What's the

upside? The flavor? Or it goes down easy? Huh. I do like the burn. I've noticed that. Who's ordering that? It's usually some guy. It's like early in the morning. Like a sailor. Oh, it's a wake up. Or yeah. Or like when somebody Has he heard of coffee?

More of like a fuck you shot when somebody's like 21. They're like, surprise me. I'll give them what's called a 252. And that's wild turkey with 151. So it's just like, it'll just strip the lining off your. It just burns. I went to the bartender. I said, surprise me.

He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said, who said you can sleep with my wife? He said, everybody. 252. That's what my ex weighed. Damn. That will mess you up, man. I think all those shots that when you're young, you just get away with, but damn, that would

hurt. How many shots do you think you could put down now? Not a lot. Shots. Oh, it's the death of me. It's over. I also, I like to enjoy the buzz now. I don't want to just, I got ripped last night, but I think

I was at a Knicks game, so I didn't know until it was too late. You don't realize until it's the fourth quarter, and I'm like, am I the only one yelling in my section? Don't people always bring you shots? All the time. Like, here's a shot, do a shot with me. All the time. What do you do? Sometimes I do it, sometimes I'm like, ah, I'm not

doing it right now. Or I go, give me the the water so it looks like i'm doing tequila all night but it's water nice no i i usually if if it's like celebrate if there's a crazy vibe in the air i'll do a shot but i don't i'm more of a sipper than a shooter i think i think once you hit your 30s you really are a sipper yeah yeah I used to be like that when I would drink. I don't drink much, but when I would, when I was younger, I would just want to get it done. So I'd do like seven to eight shots. Wow. I don't weigh much, so I'd just get. And then I'm like, all right, I'm good.

But now. Good for the night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they serve alcohol to the end of the game? For saying they do. I was in that like little area, so I kept, I would just get a drink like this big and bring it to my seat. So I was like, good. It was like old gin. I was in that like A little area So I kept I would just get a drink Like this big And bring it to my seat

So I was like good It was like all gin I was like wasted I just remember jazz games They cut everybody off In the third quarter They cut everyone off In the first quarter

They're like it's Utah No one can drink it It goes like that Pretty much Yeah I guess too rowdy Jazz games seem fun I always wanted to go

To a jazz game I'm going to the Miami Heat Knicks tomorrow I mean we're taping this In advance But I'm in Miami I'm kind of pumped Whoa You're going to be In Miami tomorrow I'm going to the Miami Heat Knicks tomorrow. I mean, we're taping this in advance, but I'm in Miami. I'm kind of pumped. Whoa.

You're going to be in Miami tomorrow? I will be. And make the game? We're landing tomorrow at like 2 and the game's at 730 and we have a show

the next night. We're getting there a night early. I'm friends with one of the Miami Heat players and he gave me tickets. Here's the question. Am I a dick

if I wear a Knicks jersey? You have to tell us who the player is. Duncan Robinson. I've done his podcast. DR. Am I a dick if I wear a Knicks jersey? You have to tell us who the player is. Duncan Robinson. I've done his podcast. He's a great guy. One of the best shooters in the world. And he's given us tickets.

Is it a dick move if I roll my Julius Randle jersey? That is the question. Probably. Really? Is it the owner's box? I don't know. I think it's fine. There'll be other Knicks people in the room.

I would go hat. No, I can't. But the jersey feels like a statement. I'll offset it with a Hawaiian shirt over it. So it's open. So that way I look Miami-ish, but Knicks. Well, don't get hammered. Because then you're the hammered guy in the Knicks outfit.

And he's got the Hawaiian shirt like this. Yeah. Also, pretty cool to have Dunk in your name i know that's pretty good for a nba player tim duncan yeah man oh it's like being called shooter mcgavin yeah that guy fucking ruled oh he was great i'm just waiting for him to do pull like an alec baldwin that'd be the ultimate oh he's the new shooter you think he'll do Tom? I don't think he will, and I don't think he should. Really?

Yeah, I think the gun prop person, that's their fault. Armorer? Armorer. But he's the producer. If you're the producer, you've got to hire the right people. Well, that's not a bad producer. Legal Jeopardy, though, I think that's like he's- Ethical? No, no, a money thing.

Like you'll have to owe the family money, but you're not- They're still making that movie. That movie better be good. It's not good. I can tell you it's going to be horrible. Oh my God. If you're below 68% on Rotten Tomatoes, you fucked up. Yeah, man.

Somebody's fired. Yeah. He fired. It's sad, though. It's just his whole life changed in a blip. Yeah. Because some armorer fucked up and screwed the pooch yeah man yeah although i heard stories like you hear stories like jack nicholson that departed during the scene just takes a gun out like scorsese didn't

know he was doing it but he just takes a gun out and points it at leo and like yeah he looked like nervous and you're like yeah i'd be fucking nervous can you imagine actor just takes a gun out and you're like that wasn't in the script that was uh gibbersey sweet sweetbacks badass song the um mario van peebles no i heard it's good or melvin van peebles yeah there's a movie they made about it that mario his son made and there's a whole part about how they said there was a real gun in the mix with the prop guns and they go like he goes that still gives me nightmares that we never shot anybody like that was like on the set they mixed in a real like handgun oh no what about what's his name crow oh yeah uh jason lee jason lee i'm dying i gotta piss i'll be right go piss i don't know what the hell this is oh okay all right we're getting a little a little in the weeds with movies here.

This is a new, I've never even heard of this. It's a deep cut, man. All right, I'll check that out. What else you got in that brain? Useless film school knowledge and a lot of Simpsons stuff. Yeah, same. Mostly Simpsons. Goggles do nothing.

Yeah. What's the most niche movie you think you know? Besides that one. Two Girls, One Cup? Anything by, like, Gaspar Noé. He's a French director. It's like, he just makes films that make you uncomfortable, like Irreversible, which is that Monica Bellucci one that's got the nine-minute, one-frame rape scene.

It's, like, one-frame rape scene. It's like really... What? Yeah, it's like you can't... You changed after you see something like that. I love how these comedians are getting in trouble for making a rape joke or a gay joke, and this guy's doing a nine-minute scene. Yeah, dude. I mean, come on.

What are we doing here? Go yell at this guy. Or don't yell at him. No way. Or like early Peter Jackson, like his stuff he made in New Zealand, like, what is it, Bad Taste, his like alien movies. Okay. This is all like, you know, stuff you used to have on DVD and now you get like, it's

really hard to find streaming. Yeah. All the banned films. Now, what do you like? We got to get it back to you. You're the guest. Oh, man. It's all right.

What do you like? Porn, anal, Jews? Yeah, dude. All of it, man. All right. Yeah. Fucking Jewish anal porn, man. Yeah. Serve it up, man, it's all right. What do you like? Porn, anal, Jews? Yeah, dude. All of it, man. All right. Yeah. Fucking Jewish anal porn, man. Yeah.

Serve it up, man. Jap. Serve it up. No. Nah, man. I like a lot of the A24 stuff lately. Oh, they're killing it. Yeah, yeah.

They're like the last movie house left. They just bought the Cherry Lane Theater in your neighborhood. Ah, it's a great room. Yeah. I don't know what they're going to do with it. Show movies? Show plays? It's a playhouse, right? Yeah, I don't know. It's a great room. Yeah. I don't know what they're going to do with it. Like show movies, show plays? It's a playhouse, right? Yeah, I don't know.

It's a playhouse. I hope they don't turn it into a movie theater. They probably do plays, I'd imagine. Oh, yeah. 824 plays. Yeah, they do cool stuff. So I feel like they got a brain in there. It'd be funny if Leonardo walked by and he's like, 824?

They're right on the edge. Yeah. So let me ask you, you're on the internet a lot. I am. Do you, because I post videos maybe twice a week. You do. And it's a nightmare. I see them, yeah.

Do you have a, like, do you start to like feel overwhelmed? Like I'm on this rat race, this treadmill, and you can't stop? Yeah. You'll never escape that on the internet it's a bummer yeah it really sucks you think it's fucked up your like sense of happiness um no because i think i've been able to do it long enough that i'm a little bit desensitized to it yeah so uh yeah i guess i'm just used to it but i don't think it ever fully goes away it's like this weird in between where i'm with it, but I still feel that feeling of the grind.

Yeah, yeah. And then it's like bittersweet because you're like, I'm selling tickets. I'm making a couple bucks. People are enjoying it. Yeah. But, you know, like I want to just sit down for 10 minutes and not think about what's my next video. Because right when you put one out, you're like, okay, I'm good. And then a day goes by and you're like, what's next?

Yeah, I need another one. Yeah. It's like the ball up the hill. It's weird that it's work. Because it is work. It doesn't feel like work, but next? Yeah, I need another one. Yeah. It's like the ball up the hill. It's weird that it's work. Because it is work. It doesn't feel like work. But you're like, I need a clip. Yeah.

I know. But you're like, this is work? Yeah. But it is. Yeah. It's work. Ronan put it best. He said, comedians are never working and always working at the same time.

Yeah. And it's so true. Because we need a new bit. We got to do a show. We're on a flight. So we're sitting on a flight, not working. But you're still kind of working. Yeah, your brain's on for sure.

I can't remember what they said, but they said they don't pay me to do the shows. They pay me to travel. Yeah, Don Marrera said that. Don Marrera's got some of the best lines ever. You know his joke? I love his joke when he says, whenever a comedian will say, true story, who cares? Say something funny. As if anyone's leaving the show.

Man, that Don Marrera stunk stunk but boy did he have integrity that's such a great comedian's joke great joke he's a classic man oh yeah he's so funny do you guys how long do you guys get comfortable filming for like the internet because i feel it's different filming yourself to review but then filming it to like put it out did you feel like you went through a period where you like knew you were recording oh yeah you know what i mean like i got over that pretty quick yeah because when you record every show you get over it yeah yeah i i the thing is i first started doing it when i noticed my comedy central hour positive influence when it came out i was like i'm getting more people more fans from the clips than the actual special yeah so then i and then

the big one for i think think, people like Mark and myself was when Comedy Central started shooting This Week at the Cellar. Yes. And we were forced to write Topical. Yeah. And then it was like they weren't giving us those clips, and I was kind of like, well, I'm not going to put that joke in my act. Yeah.

So let me get this up. And then those jokes would do well, and when they're doing well, it's motivation. Will they give you those clips? Will they let you? Yeah, once we pushed them. But they were always a step behind yeah well i was like can i get that clip and they're like oh we're not doing that and i was like okay well i got someone to just cut it for me because i was like what do you mean we're not doing that yeah and then a year later they hired someone to do it and i was like do you guys get

that you want this is for your social media yeah but uh it i think it made people like mark and myself really right current and then when the jokes do well on social media you're like well i should write more of those yeah right that's i mean that's how i found you was like just clips during the pandemic and so it works yeah i i watched some video from like an internet guy and he said in the future we'll have uh fatigue content fatigue yeah because we're all just like inundated with content we're putting out content we're watching content eventually people will be like i can't keep this up yeah so eventually it'll just be like back to normal one comedy special

every three years one album every three years like it'll just go back to i don't know dude i don't know i'd like to think i like to think too praying to god by the way what pussy this generation is. What a bunch of pussies we've become. It used to be battle fatigue. We have content fatigue. We're the worst. That's a good point.

But also comics in the 80s did the same act for 25 years. And we're cutting clips twice a week. Yeah. So we are. Comics are doing more. We're selling more tickets than ever. Like how many comedians are in arenas right now It used to be one comic It was like Eddie Murphy

Then you know Dice Clay And Steve Martin before that And that was it When Dice did The Garden It was like Oh forget about it That was like huge

And then Huge And now look how many comics play MSG Yeah How many tickets is that What's the cap 19,000 18

That's crazy Maybe a little less in that room. I think once they box it off, it might be like 15 or something or 14, but it's still pretty crazy. Still a shit ton of tickets. It's still MSG. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty fucking cool. Yeah.

Yeah, man. Best arena in the world, baby. What do you guys like better, big rooms, small rooms? In the middle, yeah. I like theaters, but I like- Like the 700, 1,000. 700 1000 yeah yeah some of the big ones feel that small like i was at the wilbur i was like well that's 1100 but it feels like 300 you know so i love that yeah one of the bigger ones mark and i always talk about there was one in

seattle called uh the more and i love it's 1800 but i love it it's like it's fucking perfect it's like three levels but they're all on top of each other you just feel like a wave yes and it's booming yeah love that i would i would tape a special there oh yeah that or maybe the wilbur for the next one i don't know totally those are both classics i love certain cities you just love too you know like something about san diego is always so good. I love San Diego. San Diego is so good. Great crowds. They seem happy.

They're fun. It's a fun town. Yeah. How about you? What do you like? Recently, I really like performing in the Midwest. Oh, Midwest is great. They're down for whatever.

Yes. Yeah. Love that. This is a bold statement, and feel free to cut the mic and get a new co-host but i think a lot of steps there this is the first time in history where new york doesn't seem like on the cutting edge i go i feel like i know i know know, New York boy, Knicks, Randall, Jersey, Westbrook, Duncan, Robinson, but. He's just naming black people. I'm just naming black people who are tall. He's white, by the way.

I assumed. I assumed. NBA player, I don't know. All right. I feel like comedically, New York used to be where you got good, you cut your teeth, you tried new shit, you fucked around. And now I feel like I go to Philly or Cleveland or Phoenix, and they're more open to weirder material.

Then I come to New York, and they're way more like, oh, I don't know about that. I don't want to get involved. I don't want to laugh at that and have someone see me laugh at that. And it's the first time where I'm like, come on, New York. We're artists. We're doing it. Does that make sense? Yeah, I know what you're saying.

I still think, though, for your crowd in New York, they're still going to be great. But, yeah, if you're in a random crowd. Right. But I think I would say L.A. is way worse. L.A. is worse. They're way more offended easily than than new york i still think new york's great but i hear what you're saying obviously it's great it's the best city in america but i'm still i'm saying it's shifted comedically where i'm like oh

wow it's weird that the midwest joke the midwest crowd got that joke and you guys didn't and that's a bummer because i always think of new york as the pinnacle the peak of trend yeah thoughts la you worked la oh bro i i mean i love living in la just because i grew up there but yeah the crowds are everyone's like too cool to laugh yes they like want to leave stinks you go to irvine or oxnard or brea and they're great yeah but you get in the heart la and it's a bunch of queef fest stinks they are mark's right it is a queef fest they're really fucking it's not fun they really get highly and they're also jaded on top of being sensitive they're jaded in a way where like you see like a famous dude go up in new york they're like oh my god there's still a sense of excitement you see him in la they're like yeah whatever yeah right i'm like that's

you're lucky to see this comic totally i mean bill burr said it first so don't attack me but he was like i come to new york now i bomb it all day everybody's like freaked out by my act he's like i got i learned how to be a comedian in new york and now i come here and everybody like random crowds are like whoa what's this guy talking about and he's like what i think covid played a big role in it i think a lot of people left and I think it's a new crop. So I think it's just that the people that are coming to the shows now are just much younger. So I think they'll get cool again. But I think right now these are like young people.

Yeah, grow up, you twinks. Come on, let's get some life experience. I think it's also society. People are nervous now. There's a guy jerking off on the sidewalk. Everybody's like, no problem. And then I'm'm like so what's up with uh puerto ricans and i'm like we gotta get out of here this is dangerous you know i'm like wait what well our priorities are all a whack you know you're half yeah you're half something yeah yeah is it east la what

and i try yeah he's trying to yeah he's trying to get me to where you're from again i forgot i was born in toronto oh right you grew up in la pretty much yeah i grew up in like actually like a mountain suburb outside of la so yeah it's like a weird the town is like pretty developed now but when we moved there a lot of the like the roads were like two lane so yeah it's when i go to the midwest i kind of like oh man this weirdly reminds me of like where i grew up totally some aspects of it i remember i was getting picked up for a gig in michigan once but the guy picked me up and uh he had one of those uh breathalyzers he needed to sell you oh yeah was he like sam yeah help me out you won't get up tonight unless

you blow into this but i remember this is like i can I don't know why, but it's like this is what the phones have done to us. Where he starts breathing into it. And I took my phone out the video tape. He's like, please. I was like, I'm sorry. It was just instinct. I thought it was funny. That is funny.

But then it makes you, it does random tests because you could start it up and then start drinking. So you'll be driving and then he'll be like, I got to pull over and blow into it again. You can just keep the car running. I never thought of that that just never turn the car off and then go to the bar wow yeah i guess damn the freeway dude yeah yeah i'm gonna i call my dick the breathalyzer a lot of drunk yeah all right but uh wow that's crazy that's really when you gotta get your life in in shape but it is i'm also like this is who you sent to pick me up? This isn't exactly the fucking A-team. Hilarious.

Are you guys working on any bits? Oh, you know what would be funny is if a plane had one of those. Write it down. He's got a lot of DUIs. Oh, you got any peeves, too? Peeves. Peeves. I mean, I got them.

I had some prepped. Hit me, baby. I got a lot of airport peevesves. I mean, I got them. I had some prepped. Hit me, baby. I got a lot of airport peeves lately. Bring it on, fatty. We love those. I can't stand people that don't have, like, spatial awareness in the airport. That drives me nuts, dude. People that just stop to look up at the board.

Like, just move to the side. Yes! I thought you were talking about fat people in seats. Because there's an epidemic in this country, and I got nothing against the fatties. I was a fat kid. My whole family's fat. But it's this...

I'm sorry, Matt. You're a large man. But there's this secondhand fat going around. We all talk about secondhand smoke, because you're smoking. Now you breathe on me. Why do I have to deal with your smoke? I feel the same with fat. I feel like can't comment all right all right yeah this is

not a good look just three it's like a bunch of skinny dudes like fat people am i right it's rude it's inconsiderate like just because you're fat matt you want to get in on this i mean i don't mind you being fat you can be fat all day you can live your life as much as you want but when it's encroaching into my space no i know but it's just i totally get what you're saying but it's just funny to call it rude that someone's fat like like you just turn over to them in the seat like do you mind well like if you have a boner great you're allowed to have a boner but if you're boner in a boner to fat oh i'm trying to think of something gross. What the hell? I'm just saying, if it's coming into other people's world, now it's our problem, too.

Yeah, that'd be a problem from a boner, too, for sure. Yeah, that's why I used it. You're in a lot of skinny privilege over there. We need Foley to weigh in on it. Yeah. I would say that's privilege, because you're getting my seat, too. Okay. Yeah, but the boner will go away at some point.

Well, you could lose weight. But you're like a large human. Even if you were thin, you'd still be a large guy. You're 6'8 or whatever. Yeah, how tall are you, man? 6'4. He's a Mr. Beast.

I'll work on the weight, sorry. I don't care about the weight, but we're not sitting on a tiny single-engine Cessna going to Toledo. You know? Do you think airlines should just carve out, like, big bone seats? Maybe. Maybe they should charge more.

But, yeah. No, just hook the big people up. You know? Well, somebody's got to pay for those inches. True. Just saying. True. You talking boners?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Boners or size? But, again, people take this to pay for those inches. True. Just saying. You talking boners? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boners or size? But again, people take this as like fat. I'm not, I'm not, have nothing against, I have no hatred towards the people of size. I'm just saying if it's encroaching on other people's life, then it's rude. Same with the boners. Here's what I think. I think the airlines have made the seats smaller.

We've gotten bigger as people. And the airlines have gotten us smaller. So what happens is you should be mad at the airlines for making the seats this small. Also mad at the airlines. As opposed to the heavier people. I think this is what the airlines do. They get us fighting with each other over and over. As opposed to actually being like, you're fucking us.

It's like politics. Yeah. They get us fighting with each other. We should be getting along. Yeah. Look at the old seats. Now that, it's funny. We were thinner then.

And the seats were bigger. We were smaller. Smaller. Yeah. I don't know if we were thinner. I think like they were probably in worse shape, but they were smaller people. Right. But you look at a Woodstock photo.

They ain't one tubby in there. And they're all shirtless. They didn't eat. They were just on drugs all day. Yeah, dude. Whatever works. They also didn't shower. They didn't do anything.

Fucking hipster burnouts, man. Yeah. Get a haircut. Get burnout. Look at that. Any other airport peeves? Sorry. Oh, no, you're fine.

Yeah, I didn't mean to trigger you dude that was like isis on a fucking what was it again spatial awareness oh spatial awareness yeah yeah yeah i'm with you yeah you get that a lot where people will just like they'll just stand in front of the door of a subway. Yeah. And I'm like, you got to move or I'm stuck in the train. Yeah.

You're here. I hate that. I hate people that get up from behind you and then just they're in front of you. Yeah. Like, you know. Oh, that's a problem. Like, I'm on the aisle, too. And like the whole family is four rows back.

Yeah. And all of a sudden they're like lined up. Yeah. And no one one stood up yet all right i hate when they'll do that whole there are 30 people on this flight that have to make a connection so you let them stand up first and they just leave it to us to figure it out right and then you see the one person cheating it and you're like well yeah really life hack you have a connection get your ass up and run out of there. You're the reason I missed connections.

Yeah, dude. Yeah. Whatever happened to missed connections? Remember that? That was a big thing. That was big. On Craig's? Yeah.

Yeah, the CL. They must still have that somewhere. It's got to be there, man. Got to be. Pull it up. Missed connections. Tinder took over. It's like, we can fuck anybody we want now.

And social media. Good point. I feel like missed connections still has to be around. You know, just a little throwback. What are the odds that you both check it in this day and age? I know, that's a good point. Do young people even know what we're talking about right now? Yeah, definitely.

It was in the paper originally, wasn't it? I know, but if you're 19 and you're listening to this podcast, do you know what a Miss Connection is? Oh, no, not on Craigslist. Not like that. Craigslist, dude. Definitely not. All the weirdest shit you

fucking you meet a roommate you find a whore yeah you know it's crazy everything i did a show and uh i mentioned 9-11 and i said to this girl in the front row i was like how old are you when 9-11 happened she's like i wasn't born i cuckoo. The whole room just was like, oh. And I'm like, have you seen it? She's like, I mean, yeah, like on Twitter. I'm like, that's crazy, dude. DiCaprio rolls in. Yeah.

I had a kid drinking at the bar the other night that said he did his senior year on Zoom during COVID. Yeah. I was like, well, you can already, I guess you can drink. That is wild. Yeah, dude. Wow. Cuckoo. She was 21.

And she's legal. And she's never heard of 9-11. Well, that's the craziest part. Like, you think, oh, she's never heard of 9-11. She's probably five. But she's 21. Yeah, she's 21. Yeah.

Yeah, it fucked me up. Which is so weird, because this is why my beef with the 21-year-old crop. I know all about D-Day. I wasn't there. Yeah. Yeah, well that is You should probably know What 9-11 is

Yeah Well she's from New Zealand To be fair Okay okay That changes things Yeah yeah yeah Alright Yeah

But You guys ever perform there No No I'd love to I'm going to Australia in July Oh Did you like New Zealand

I mean It's one of the most Beautiful places Oh it's gorgeous The crowds are just a little bit different like so um they're gnomes no yeah yeah they're all small uh they're like yeah this one of us looking for a ring no um they're like they're very kind of like culturally like a little bit to themselves so they don't they don't seem like they laugh out loud very often oh

i hate that yeah yeah so after i did the show, I got a friend who's from there. His boy was talking to me after. And he could tell I was a little bit in my head. And he said, oh, man. He said, for New Zealand, he's like, that's a great set, dude. Wow. Yeah, he said, out here, he's like, we're known. We shake comedians kind of thing.

Oh, interesting. It's like LA. Yeah. I'm not a big fan of the uh that's just how we laugh well fucking learn how to laugh it's affecting my show totally yes it's a lot of like you make them laugh and they're just very kind of like ah yeah so you're like damn all right yeah or maybe i was just bombing you know who knows but no but i've definitely done those there's certain types of cities sometimes where they're like, that's good for here.

I mean, I feel like that's what Brooklyn shows are like. Yeah, true, true. I do. I feel like they're just like, yeah, we nod. Right. Yeah. Parts of Australia were like that, too. Agreed.

I did the Melbourne Fest years ago, and it was a lot of like, come on, I need it. Ireland had a hint of that, too. Ireland did have a hint of that. It's very impressive. I like that. Ireland had a hint of that too Ireland did have a hint of that It's very like Impressive Mmm Yeah I like that So you're like I need the ha ha

Cause it's a For us it's the Interactive conversation Yeah Joke laugh Joke laugh It's like a A breathing thing

Yeah And this throws off your rhythm So you have to like adapt Mid set Yeah it's a different set Yeah definitely Where's your favorite place to perform? This is gonna sound crazy

But Cleveland Yeah I love Cleveland. Hilarities? Hilarities, the club, is, I think, one of the best clubs in the country. Killer. I love it. And Columbus.

I love Sam. Columbus is great, too. I'll be there soon. I love Columbus. Best funny bone in the country. Yeah. That's a good funny bone. The flagship.

Yeah. I remember walking up to it the first time. You're crossing the Legoland, and I'm like, oh, boy. Yes. Yeah. Never a good sign. Yeah, yeah. But then you get in there, and it's that beautiful tall ceiling, and the acoustics are amazing.

Yeah. It's like just walking past the lids to follow our dream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that's when we went to a cheesecake factory, and I'm like, man, a cheesecake factory on a Saturday morning? You just hear like, man, a Cheesecake Factory on a Saturday morning. You just hear like, fuck these kids. That Cheesecake Factory is like a flight to Orlando. It stinks.

Dang. And all those clubs are always in a mall and they all have the same. It's like, there's a Sephora. There's the Apple Store. There's the North Face. There's the Dippin' Dots or whatever the fuck. But then you think Broadway guys must be like, there's the hobo. There's the dead body. There's the Dippin' Dots or whatever the fuck. But then you think Broadway guys must be like, there's the hobo. There's the dead body.

There's the guy jerking off. There's Elmo with jizz on it. And then they go into the Winter Garden. Isn't Broadway weird? Because it's like literally a dude with his dick out and Les Mis. Yeah. Just a weird combo. That's true.

Good point. New York, baby. Yeah. You said it's lost its edge. Dude, didn't- You still see dude you still see dicks out yeah i saw one on my way here and i saluted it i said good for you sir my boner was in his space keep tourists scared yeah the tourists are back by the way oh yeah they are back with a vengeance do you guys feel it like the difference when they oh i feel I live in the village, so it's like all these people at the park, the Washington Square Park. I love it.

Walking down McDougal and Bleecker. I'm just glad the homeless people have another person to target other than me. Exactly. I'm glad they're here. Yeah, the decoy. Do you have any peeves, Mark? I got a couple. I had one on the way here.

How about the guy with the dog on the zippy thing? He's got the handle, and it can retract and stretch. But he's on the left side of the sidewalk. The dog's on the right, so now there's a fucking trip wire on the busiest sidewalk in America. Oh, my God. So we're all doing this shit and stepping over and trying to get around it. It's like, reel it in, Dickless. This goes off a peeve of mine.

The leash wrapped around your waist. Oh, on a kid? No, no, for the dog. Oh. No, this is New York, not the Midwest. The leash around your waist connected to the dog. You're walking down Broadway and you're not hiking Everest, motherfucker. Yeah.

It bugs me. It bugs me. me you want a dog fucking own it yeah yeah hold the dog jerry had that there's a you know that joke it was the it's like like he's a marlin you got him out on a line that's a great line he goes uh if you if an alien came down they would think the dogs ruled us right because they're pulling us that we pick up their shit that we feed them you know true great bit classic either either of you have dogs no no man you have a dog yeah yeah what kind he's dude he's uh like uh he's a chihuahua dachshund mix he's such a another hint yeah well they're both mixes oh if i eat it that might give you

i might throw it off too man why do you think that leans to Mexican now? Chihuahua? Chihuahua, yeah. Cultural. A lot of white girls have chihuahuas. Yeah, dude. Hey. Dachshund, though.

German. Yes. Dachshunds are cute. Those little bitty arms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So little. Yeah. The fat belly and the little arms and legs.

You gotta love it. The belly's like this close to the ground. Yeah. Cute. Like my ex. You got to love it. The belly's like this close to the ground. Yeah.

Cute. Like my ex. Oh, yeah. I had another peeve. Oh, how about this guy? The guy who keeps harping on something that he didn't know about you, but it just continues to hurt your feelings. I had this guy. He's like a fan.

He's like, oh, good to meet you. I did the meet and greet. He's like, man, how tall are you? I'm like, I don't know, 5'10". He's like, wow. I thought like, oh, good to meet you. I did the meet and greet. He's like, man, how tall are you? I'm like, I don't know, 5'10". He's like, wow. I thought you'd be taller. Yeah, yeah. What are you going to do?

Got to tell you, I really thought you were taller than that. Okay, yeah, yeah. I don't know what to tell you there. God, you know, 5'10". You come off as like 6'6". All right, I get it. You don't know how tall I am. Now you're just bumming me out

yeah so that guy is annoying yeah i know that one very well who was that uh comic who came up with the term comp you salt comp you salt that's albert brooks albert brooks yeah where it's like compliment compliment insult it's coming and he's like after the second compliment i get when i'm doing the meet and greet i'm just like stop there get out yeah get out yeah you know it's like hey i loved your show really funny my wife hates you but i love you that's a weird one yeah i put i put your special on for my whole family they couldn't stand it yeah but i could be like give them a chance it didn't connect i don't know why hey right funny stuff yeah the ending sucked but good good jokes brutal yeah dude i get the height one a lot oh thank you sir i'm not a yeah i'm not if you wanted to try the uh paper plane too oh no

i'm chilling man i'm just getting over something so i might oh are you yeah everyone's sick right now yeah everyone i've talked to is sick how tall are you sam i'm six three but according to wikipedia seven though do i no okay but apparently according to wikipedia i'm 510 because i met a girl and she was and she was like oh i thought you'd be shorter is what she said oh must be nice it was and uh no but it was but everyone thinks i'm and everyone thinks i'm from massachusetts because of wikipedia well because of letterman he said that, it was before that. I think he thought I was from Massachusetts because of that.

Because originally Chelsea, Manhattan. Someone put Chelsea, MA. So they think I'm from Chelsea, Massachusetts. So I think that's why Letterman thinks I'm from Boston. Interesting. What show was he on? It was on Neal's Pod. And he's like, this

young guy, Sam, from Massachusetts. And he's like this uh this young guy sam from massachusetts and i was like no from boston yeah yeah from boston interesting okay yeah i was gonna say your recent clips you look fucking ginormous dude do i yeah are you serious it was just like the whole you're like the whole reel i'm like damn this dude's gotta be 6'10 i see why he likes ball must be it sucks to be 6'10 and not be good at basketball. Yeah. Imagine being like 6'10". Are you good at basketball?

I played growing up. Yeah, I could tell you probably. Imagine being 6'4 and bad at basketball and sports. Are you playing? What was your position, Matt? Yeah, I could see that. Do you play any other sports? Do you play football, too?

I'm actually good at football. Really any other sports? Do you play football, too? Really? Basketball? How about baseball? Were you the biggest kid on the court? Yeah? So were you just putting up double digits? I hope baseball makes a comeback. Baseball's so fucking American.

By the way, you know what movie we watched recently that holds up? It's fucking phenomenal. Another wreck. Bull Durham. Oh, I love Bull Durham. That's a great fucking movie. I just rewatched that on a plane like a month ago. That's like kind of the weirdly, it's not like The Graduate, but it is like The Next Cougar. Yeah.

Yeah, Susan Sarandon is so sexy in it. It's a whole fuckfest movie. It's all about banging. It's so good. There's so many funny lines in it. I'm definitely going to watch it now. Oh, dude, it's a great script. It's funny as hell. Yeah.

Costner's so cool in that movie. He is. And Tim Robbins. He's got to be 6'5". He's a big dude. Give it a go. But yeah, great movie. She's pretty foxy.

Yeah, she's got a milfy quality for sure. I love that clavicle. It's all clavicle. You suck her neck bone? Oh, yeah. Nice. Like a ribeye. Yeah, fuck it, dude.

Trying to get it out of my teeth. Put some garlic on that neck bone. Woo-wee. Her daughter looks just like her, too. Pull her up. She's on Californication as a stripper. I think she's actually less attractive. Really?

I didn't see the stripper scene with David Duchovny? Oh, I take it back. Much hotter. Would you? Nah. Come on. He's a married man. Tim Robbins. Wow, she does look like her, yeah. How about that?

Is Tim Robbins her dad? Oh, I assume. They're still together, right? No, I don't think they're still together. Jesus Christ, dude. Oh, yeah. Look at the hooters on her. Big chest.

Yeah, look at that. Tits McGee. My God. I'll tell you. Wow. Big hooters really seem to care. I think that's got to be Tim's daughter because she's a tall cup of jizz. Tim Duncan, yeah.

Tim Duncan. Look at that shit. Hachi machi. It's kind of weird to have a hot daughter because you just know everybody wants to bang your daughter. It's got to be a weird feeling. It's weird to have a hot mom, too. Yeah, but, you know, she made you.

You came out of there. I think both are weird. Yeah, I guess you're right. You're probably more protective, but, like, yeah, you knew the kid growing up who had the hot mom. That was not good. Nah, it's a complex. Because you always make jokes about it. Yeah, I guess you're right. You're probably more protective, but like, yeah, you knew the kid growing up with the hot mom. And like, that was not good. No, that's a complex. Because you always make jokes about it.

And they're like, yeah, yeah. Everyone wants to do your mom. Yeah. Okay, there you go. So glad my mom looks like Paula Deen. Hey, man, that could have been attractive to somebody. I guess you're right. Black guys like her.

They did. They did. Fucking that tide turned, my friend. Is there a story behind that? Oh, she said the N word. Oh. My mom. No, Paula Deen.

Do you have gigs you want to plug on this upcoming tour? Oh, man, no. I'm just, you know, go to my website, noelmillerlive.com, man. I'm going everywhere, dude. Damn. UK, Europe. Look at that shit. Yeah, man. no, I'm just, you can, you know, go to my website, noelmillerlive.com, man. I'm going everywhere, dude. Damn, UK, Europe, look at that shit. Yeah, man, I'll be- You're busy. Yeah, dude, be all over Midwest, Northeast.

Are you enjoying it? Yeah, dude, I am. Stand-up was always, like, my first goal. Yeah. And that stuff kind of just took over, but I managed to, like, be on stage while the internet stuff was growing, so I've been getting back to it for the past two years, I'd say. Nice. Yeah.

I think I'm going to film this set, and then I might just start over. I want to spend a month out here after I film it and just grind. Hell yeah. Yeah, dude. Keep it the right way. We'll help you out with spots, connections. Oh, dude. That'd be great, man.

Yeah. I know this guy. He's brown. That's about all I know. Yeah, we don't know if he's funny yet. No idea. Funny guy. Killing it. You're everywhere. I mean, half that shit was sold out.

Yeah, dude, it's been great. So come see me, man. Look at his May. Dublin, Helsinki, Oslo, Stockholm, May 11th in Birmingham, and then London on the 12th. Yeah, man. Sheffield on the 17th of May. This is an incredible tour. Nice.

What do you got, Mark? Oh, my website's all backed up. I'm all over the road. Coming to Oxnard. Improv. That'll be a big one. I'm doing Bozeman, Montana. We just added a show.

I went to college there. Oh, yeah? Yeah, Montana'm excited i've never been it's one of the few states i've never been to is montana dying to go yeah i'm all over the place coming to i got san diego all over california la sacramento sf then all over your favorite city columbus cincinnatiy, Kalamazoo, fucking Toledo, York, Bethlehem, Wilmington, Delaware, Maryland, Philly. Then I'm doing, it's a whole long run. It's on my website, samorell.com slash shows. Nashville, I'm in theater, baby. Chattanooga, Birmingham, Memphis, Knoxville, Charlotte, Asheville, every fucking, San Antonio,

Houston. I'm everywhere. So I'll see you on the road. That Paramount Theater in Denver is magical. Oh, I'm doing Denver too. Good call. Santa Fe, Houston. I'm everywhere, so I'll see you on the road. That Paramount Theater in Denver is magical. Oh, I'm doing Denver, too. Good call. Santa Fe, everywhere. samorell.com slash shows.

Can't fucking wait. Drink your Bodega Cat whiskey at bodegacatwhiskey.com. Bob, Pat. Come see me at Joey Rose's Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Yeah, check it out. Salamanca. Go see a live comedy. You got that right.

Yeah. Hell yeah. Just let me chill, boys. there you go all right okay tom be with noel peter sorry about the uh all right heavyset air all right you guys have been great. We love you. Keep listening. Tell your friends. Up on the roof like a cop's coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. We might be true