We Might Be Drunk - Ep 138: Just The Boys & Greek Liquor

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

2 Hours of just the boys. We got new blood in the room and a lot to talk about. Heavy peeves episode with a lot of great laughs. Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/ Mark Normand: http://marknormandcomedy.com/ Support the show and; get 50% off your Factor order by heading to https://www.factormeals.com/DRUNK50 and; use code DRUNK50 Head to https://www.manscaped.com for 20% off and; free shipping with promo code DRUNK Download the Gametime app and get $20 off your first purchase with promo code DRUNK Shop: https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod http://www.bodegacatspirits.com We Might Be Drunk is produced, recorded and edited by Gotham Production Studios. Head producer: Matthew Peters https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/

yo we're here hey we're queer we're doing it we're back we got no beer jew we got no sally it's bare bones just and fresh bones yeah fresh meat new intern right here yeah 20 year old west virginia jersey native west virginia kid. But we're all hard. Thanks for making it. Looks great. Yeah. But, yeah, boy, we're both road hard. Put it away.

You look more ethnic than you've ever looked. You're going full. You look like you've been captured in the Middle East. You must have been waterboarded. I'm solving mysteries in Hawaii. No, I've been gone for a while, man. Yeah. Me too.

Same. I've been up, down, left, right. I'm doing Massachusetts, then going to Idaho, then I went to Washington State, then down to Tennessee. Where were you? I did Chickapee, Mass. Not bragging. Chickapee. There's a new room called the Loft Comedy Club.

It's run by the Rhode Island guys, the Comedy Connection. Ooh, gotcha. Yeah, they're good. I like that club. Good guy. It's like a crazy club in the middle of this field. I mean, it felt like Roadhouse. It felt like I was being, like I was in a town hall meeting.

Yeah. Packed to the gills, low ceiling, like Bugs, you know? You know, one of those shows where you're doing this shit with the gnats. Oh, God. Crazy, but cool room. Great club. Check it out. If you live near Chicopee or Springfield, Mass, a lot of fentanyl. of those shows where you're doing this shit with the gnats oh god crazy but cool room great club check it out if you live near chickpea or springfield mass a lot of fentanyl and then a lot of fentanyl everywhere yeah yeah i went to the main room in this building there was people

doing fentanyl it's fucking everywhere it's everywhere everywhere it's like ozembek yeah so then i uh it's one of those towns no airport no amrak, so I had to get up early. I got the one Uber in town. Wow. You know you got to get the one guy? Yeah. I got off the Amtrak. I got Bob. And then when I went to the airport two days later, I got Bob.

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. You got to be nice to him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're like this dude. I turned the chit chat on. Yeah. So Bob brought me to the Hartford Airport, which I didn't know existed.

Ugh. Military airport. Yeah. Ugh. Military airport. Yeah. Tiny. No lounge. I went there once. Yeah, it's a last resort. Yeah.

Yeah. Last flight out of Nam. And I got all the way to Idaho. Oh, my God. Had to connect through Denver. Went to the fully loaded tour. Incredible at the Buckeye, Hawkeye, Brown Eye, Eyebrow Eye. Brown Eye Girl? eye i don't know isis i don't know what happened but did some arena there with bert hooked up with stavros big j uh santino santino rosebud

i mean it was just a who's who of real alcoholics and fat people and uh we had a great time we went we went tubing on the river stavros lost my bodega hat bodega cat you went tubing on stavros use him to float yeah he hit a rock so he sank like a like a billionaire submarine but uh we just had a great time and then we got on the bus you know got boozed up went on the bus, woke up at the gorge in Washington. If you could pull up a gorge photo. It looked gorge. It looked beautiful. I mean, the pics you sent me.

I mean, we were texting during the day, and I was like, dude, you just sent me a pic of Bert golfing. It's hilarious that he's a good athlete. Amazing athlete. He's good at every sport. It's incredible. It is incredible. One time we went skiing together.

He skied one day and snowboarded the next day, and he was still better than all of us. Look at that sunset. Beautiful. That is insane. I said it was like if the Grand Canyon went to Coachella, you know, because it's got a little more nature-y, fun-loving, hippie vibe. Yeah. No, I get that.

It looks beautiful, man. Beautiful. 15,000 people. They get there at noon. They start drinking a couple. One guy passed out during Stavros' set, and the cops or the medics had to run in because all these girls were like, ah! He had flip-up glasses, and Stavros goes, let's flip those glasses down, and we get at Bernie's, this motherfucker, and keep going. The crowd went nuts.

That's when we were like, this dude better pull through so I can post the clip. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's what I said. I was like, content. We went slip and sliding all day, and we put out some visqueen. I saw that, and that scares me a little bit. Because I did that as a kid, and it's like, you never don't get hurt.

No, man. Let me pull my back up. Let me see. I'm sure I'm cut up. Oh, my God. Really? Did you fuck Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct? What the hell is going on?

Oh, I had to do a lot of explaining with the wife. That is... That's bad. Oh, yeah. Well, you should see Stavros. He hurt the ground. The ground's hurting. But we had a great time.

And if you could pull up the video of Stavros hitting me in the nuts. What? This is the kind of fun we were having that day. It's on my Instagram. Oh, I don't know if that's doable. But, yeah, we were just drinking beers all day. You're out in the sun. It was too fun.

And then when the show at night was at the Gore, there it is. It hit a million views in like 10 seconds. Are you in starve? Well, I was running around on the slip and slide. And then Bert goes, come here. And he poured a big ice bucket on me. So I was like, oh my God, it was so cold. And then as I'm shivering, Stavros threw a Nerf ball,

hit me right in the balls, and I went down for like a half hour. Matt's locked out because he was looking at kiddie porn. Real good, Peters. I don't know mine either. No one knows their password. There's too many passwords. That's a peeve

well I have one password if one guy finds that first one I'm fucked he's got my grinder my uh you name it everything

Lolita Express 42 unlocks the whole kingdom right there yeah but then I flew out of there the next day out of Seattle I had to drive

two and a half hours to Seattle from the gorge and I got to the airport, flew to did Theo's podcast, did two shows in Nashville and now I'm here. Yeah, I did a show with Theo in Edmonton.

You ever have a gig where you're like, it's one night, the money was really good so I was like, oh great, Outdoor Festival, the Great Outdoors Fest. Oh yeah. And it was me, Laura Peake and Theo Vaughn is the show oh i love peak yeah it was yeah she said great stuff about you and uh it's it's good energy you know it's good everything but it's one of those things where it's outdoors it's edmonton you look at the itinerary

and you're like this is gonna be an easy night yeah no direct flight so i'm like okay i gotta get in the night early i've been traveling so i'm a little that night counts or something i'm tired i'm like whatever first flight is a nightmare yeah first flight i'm getting there you know i got this woman behind me you've ever seen behind you they're just like screaming they're like they're like they're just talking so loud you're like i have noise canceling headphones on and i can hear you wow and the guy next to her i could tell was like just going with it but like kind of annoyed was Was she mad or was she just that's how she talked? No she just talked like that. She was that loud and she was with like a son. She was like

kind of a hot older woman but like just one like so loud that finally I turn to her and I go keep it down. I had to turn around and just go keep it down. I saw the tweet. Yeah and the guy as I'm getting off the flight goes I tweeted at you. So I guess he knew who I was.

So he wrote, Sam Rell just told me to fuck off. And I'm like, no, I told a woman to shut up. You got to watch him with his beard. You're going to get called a terrorist. Well, they're always the air police or whatever they're called. But they're always people when they're always shocked. Yeah. When they're screaming, you're like, do you mind?

And they're just like, oh, like, like, I'm the asshole. Every time everyone in the flight gave me a look like, I know. When they're screaming, you're like, do you mind? And they're just like, oh. Of course. Like, I'm the asshole. Every time. Everyone in the flight gave me a look like, thank you. Because I have to be the asshole always. Yep. But. We appreciate that, by the way. You got to do it.

Someone's got to do it. Someone's got to do it. Someone's got to step up. You're that guy. You're the hero. Usually I have a couple drinks in. So by the time the second drink hits in, you're just like, yeah, fuck you. Yeah.

So then, of course, i'm panicking too because the flight is late so i'm extra irritable so it's like you know that now this was supposed to be one night in edmonton wait what happened with the lady uh oh i just she just she's just shocked she's just like but then she's still loud she's an idiot and then of course he tweets to me that she was like you know a stage mom and i was she was there with her son i'm like yeah i could tell she fucking stunk i could tell she was awful that's not a good thing yeah but uh i think that was his way of being like apologetic oh dude this is america's funniest boom oh you can't see stop but i went down i mean he got me i was out for 30 minutes did that really hurt it hurt like hell

and i didn't i didn't brace at all i didn't have time to brace so that that's the kind of shenanigans we're doing all day brutal well anyways yeah let's see it again wow oh my god the water was freezing speaking of terrorists that was yeah that was a missile it was a lot well we uh so anyway uh yeah i'm now panicking because it's one of those things where it's a connect flight but you have to go through customs on the connection. So it's delayed. And I'm like, there's no flights. I'm going to be stuck in Toronto for the night.

I barely make, I'm like sprinting. It's that classic thing where everything's down. So you're like the passport thing is down. You can't get it to print. I go to the next one. That one's not working. All the escalators are broken. Somebody's lugging two things up.

You're just sprinting. It's like a sad decathlon. You're just sprinting. Yes. It's like a sad decathlon. You know? You're just running through this shit. And I get on the next flight. I'm like fuming. You know, you have to re-go through security, everything.

Oh, yeah. Get on the next flight. Of course, that's delayed. So all of this was for nothing. But it won't update on my phone. So it's not telling me that. Right. So...

Yeah, we're international. Yeah. So then we get there the next day we're at the gig edmonton it's like it's a cool it's 7 500 people it's outdoors a great outdoors fest big headliner right theo oh theo was the headliner oh okay wow and uh we get there and theo and i go he's like i was gonna go i never do soundcheck but theo's like i'm going to soundcheck and i was like fuck it everyone else is going i don't want to be the odd man out so i go to soundcheck the air is so bad like i went outside in edmonton it felt like i smoked two packs it's like that bad the fires yeah the wildfire so we

get to the venue and i'm like dude this is like bad air and yeah and theo's like nah what are you talking about man i was like no i'm telling you this is like bad i don't mean to be like the jewish stereotype here but this is like not good and within 30 minutes our agent calls us and was like the gig's canceled the government has shut down the gig because of the air quality wow it's at an eight out of ten which is apparently really bad and i could tell it was bad yeah and i'm like yeah i get it and so they're like will you spend an extra night there you know to and we'll do the show on saturday and i'm like well is the air gonna be better and they're like we we think it will be you know oh my god i was like all right you know it's now it's now three nights in edmonton as opposed to one so you're like day three three nights in edmonton sounds like a horror i felt like i was in bruges

we're gonna like fucking get me out of here. Exactly. But yeah, so now it's day three. It's not a day where you can really walk out because you take two steps out and you're like, this is horrible. Right.

It's like gross. So yeah, I'm in the hotel. Can you see it? Is it brown? Like the air? Oh, it's disgusting. Okay.

Yeah, and of course, I'm like, I'm going to be healthy. So I swim some laps and then I put my finger, i like do the locker it just slices right open i'm bleeding everywhere and i'm like oh can i so i just go to the front desk i'm like can i get something they're like we have a band-aid yeah and we'd like to offer you a free drink i'm like oh thanks i'll dip my finger in it you fucking prick thanks for nothing bloody mary yeah but uh anyway i we get to

the gig and like i go outside during the day. I'm like, the air is worse than it was yesterday. Wow. But it's one of the things where I'm like, I don't want to do, it's good money. I don't want to just take their money and not do the gig. So I'm stressed the gig's going to happen. It's insane that we couldn't, that was my opener. I'm like, we couldn't perform fucking indoors for two years.

Now we can't perform outdoors. I feel like my agent's going to call me in two weeks and be like, we got you an underwater gig. It's on a submarine. It's a safe one. It's not a Titanic one. That's great. So, you know, we get there and it's like, it's bad. We look at the thing.

I'm like, it's still eight. But they just did the gig. I was like, we could have done the gig. We have very different styles. I would have gone straight to Trudeau's face with the brown. I think Theo did something about that okay there you go so then uh i mean i did a bunch of jokes about about the weather like you had to you had to of course of course but uh so then the next day it was a fun show we had a great time everyone you know it was it's tough outdoor comedy is tough oh yeah it's not ideal And I see Theo panicking when I get off.

I could see him being like, oh, fuck, how was it? And I'm just like, you don't want to psych the dude out, but you also don't want to make him think he's walking into a great situation. So you have to walk that line of like, they're good. And he's like, eh. I mean, they were good, but it's outdoors. It's outdoors. And Theo's already a head case a little bit. That's what I mean.

So, yeah, you played it right. Just in a way where I don't want to you know i could tell he was he's in his head yeah but you know then we had fun after nice night had a few drinks uh the next day my one of the wme agents is there and she goes my flight was canceled because she was supposed to go to the airport with me and i'm like oh my god what the fuck in edmonton what is this city it's the bermuda triangle so then i get out and i'm like thank god i got out i mean i'm like, oh, my God. What the fuck in Edmonton? What is this city? See, it's the Bermuda Triangle. So then I get out, and I'm like, thank God I got out. I mean, I guess I'm like the last guy to get out of Edmonton here. This is my survivor here.

And then as I'm on the flight, I paid for the Wi-Fi because I'm like, I'm bored. I'm hungover. So I'm on it. And it goes, your connection in Montreal has been canceled. And I was like, there's no way. And I'm like panicking. I'm like, I'll find, let me find something. And this is how much I haven't been home. I've been home like six days in the last six weeks.

So I'm like, I just want to be home. Of course. And there's no flights. I literally am like, maybe I could fly Air Canada to DC and take the train back. But that connects in Toronto. So I'm like, there's no, everything's a bitch. So then I'm like there's no everything's a bitch yeah so then i'm like fuck it i booked a car service for 1500 from montreal to new york that's how badly i wanted to go home oh my god and uh and i'm talking my agent he's like the festival cover

it's fine hey the car service they canceled they're like no one wants to drive to new york right now and i'm like oh my god i'm fucking right now. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm fucking stuck. So I'm like, all right, fuck it. Montreal. Here we go. I book a hotel. I take a car to the hotel. It's one of the things, too.

My phone has literally got 2%. And then the Uber shows up. And I'm like, thank God. Get in the car. Go to the hotel lobby. And I'm texting my agent. And he's like, you want to do a pop-up in Montreal? And I'm like, yeah, you know what? If you he's like you want to do a pop-up in montreal and i'm like yeah you know what if you could find something i'll do a pop-up show but i'm in this

like pretty nice hotel i'm in the hotel lobby i'm like he's got black manhattan's on the menu and i go black manhattan me dude and the guy hands me one down it he's like you want another i go fuck yeah i do on my third black man Black Manhattan, my agent texts me. He goes, they're doing the gig, the St. Catherine Theater in Montreal. By the way, the last time I played the St. Catherine Theater, you know who was hosting the show? Bill Cosby? Comedian. Sorry.

Comedian Blake Griffin. Oh, wow. The basketball player. I remember that year. Yeah. I was there that year. Yeah. That was too in stand-up for a minute.

Yeah, it was. Can we call Black Manhattan? Just call to Harlem and shorten it? I like that. Okay. I really like that. It's quicker. Or at least the Washington Heights or something.

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, he says, yeah, they're in. So I'm like, all right. I'm drunk at the bar. I do an Instagram post like, hey, I'll be here. Fucking sells out. We do the show. One of the most fun shows.

Wow. I got a guy opening for me, Harrison Weinreb. I just tweet like, who's a funny Montreal comic? He was like, me. Vote for me, guys. His friends are all like tagging me. I'm like, fuck it, this guy. Wow.

So he did a great job. We had a fun show. Amazing. Turned a bad situation into a fun night. That is incredible. And you got a couple bucks. You're in a nice hotel, a couple black Manhattans. That's killer.

This is what I, people always say, when you got into comedy, when did you know you made it or what was the big moment? I used to go watch comics who, like, Louis would tweet, I'm going to be at the Cellar. It was like 2008. And if you want to come, it'll be at 5 o'clock. I'll pay for everybody's Cokes. And I was like, I'm going. And I remember thinking, if I could ever just tweet and fill want to come, it'll be at 5 o'clock. I'll pay for everybody's Cokes.

And I was like, I'm going. And I remember thinking, if I could ever just tweet and fill up a room, I'll be happy. And that was that. Damn. And that's so cool. Yeah. And you did it and sold it out. Hey, I brought some liquor from Greece. Ooh.

It's called Mastika. You checked a bag. I didn't, actually. Duty free. Oh, nice. Duty free shop. But I did buy some of this there it's pretty good wow all the ones i bought there i drank there yeah this is like we had we had

uzo with stavi baby on the pod remember the uzo oh yeah well this is kind of like another digestive type thing they drink there the greeks are so healthy even their booze has like a purpose yeah good point so this is like a liqueur yeah it's nice stuff it's like cedar ish it's nice anyone else want on this anyone yeah get in here webby get web get him a a glass maybe james webb is here he's uh the director of both specials both are netflix specials there you go cheers hey opa yeah i was in was in Greece. And nice place. Not too shabby. Never been.

Never been. It was good. It looked amazing. The video you shot was great about the promo. Got a promo. Yeah, that was great. I mean, you had the like. Can't stop promoing MSG.

I need to sell this shit out. The cotton shirt or whatever that was. And the tan. The hair was up. It looked great. Oh, thanks. Beautiful view. Nice.

The sunset in Santorini is what it's all about, man. I up. It looked great. Oh, thanks. Beautiful view. Nice. The sunset in Santorini is what it's all about, man. I bet. It looked great. Yeah, I don't really, it's very hard for me to take time off. Isn't it nice? Same. Yeah. So when you shot that video, it was cool to see you out there.

We never take time off, but not only did you take time off, but I got to see it. Really? I got to see the video of it. Yeah, that was cool. I'll send you, I send you a few pictures. Oh, yeah. Stunning. I didn't think you'd believe it. No, no. cool. I'll send you, I send you a few pictures. Oh yeah, stunning. I didn't think you'd believe it.

No, no. Just the way I didn't believe it when you went on a safari. I thought for your honeymoon you were like, I'm doing four at the cellar. She can come watch. Going to side splitters. It's a beautiful beach out there.

Tampa honeymoon. I did my bachelor party in Tampa. I know. I'm still fucking mad I missed that. It was a wild time. But we had a fun bachelor party here. Oh, yeah. That episode, and then we went out and got wasted in steaks and everything.

That was great. That was great. Yeah, it was a great night. I barely remember the end of it. That got ugly. Well, fucking DeRosa comes in here, and he's like, we're doing shots. And I'm like, dude, it's three in the afternoon. We've got a whole night ahead of us.

I think I did a set that night. We both did. Jesus. I remember both of us being wasted. I remember Liz at the cellar that night in the back. I'm on stage and she keeps going, trying to break me because I'm shit-faced. And of course I'm like trying not to laugh. But you're like extra focused when you're drunk.

You're like, I will not break. Yes, exactly. But meanwhile, you're slurring. You think you're driving straight, but you're all over the road. Dude got so i'm in i went to london before greece i did a couple nights at a theater they're really cool uh i heard you're going there too they were very excited oh great yeah what are we talking manchester or what what town did you go to i did london okay it was great uh vittorio angelone opened and was hilarious, very funny. Director Jason Reitman came out the last night.

Whoa! Yeah. Very cool. Super cool. They're shooting Ghostbusters. Whoa! They just finished before the stuff. Thank You for Not Smoking.

He's got a couple great films. Thank You for Not Smoking is one of my favorites. So underrated. And he did Up in the Air. With Clooney. Yeah. Great movie. Killer.

Great movie. Boy, it runs in theoney. Yeah. Great movie. Killer. Great movie. Boy, it runs in the family. Yeah. The Reitman. Ivan Reitman was a fucking legend. What did he do? He did Ghostbusters. I think he did-

Stripes. Did he do Stripes? Yeah. Wow. And he produced Road Trip. He got Todd Phillips started. Oh, really? Yeah.

He discovered Todd Phillips. Did he do Coming to America? I think that was maybe Landis. Ah, you're right. It was Landis because Eddie Murphy hated him. Did I ever tell you I met Ivan Reitman? No. His production company wanted to do a thing with me like years ago.

So I went to his office a few times and like just talked. He was like trying to develop a show for me. Whoa. And nothing came of it. But I was just like, I'm just hanging out with Ivan. I'm just listening to Ivan Reitman's's brain unreal and his idea it never happened but it was like i'm a he was like it should be like part podcast but part tv show but it's like you're a pr guy and you try to fix like famous people's problems and they come in and you're like a

scumbag and it was like i was like this kind of a funny idea yeah it's not bad. I thought it was pretty good. Yeah. But nothing came of it. Oh, yeah. Classic. Okay. Wow. Ivan. Kindergarten cop. Ah, it's not a tumor. Sorry.

London was sick. Yeah. London's cool. Oh, I got some peeves. Ooh. Can I break out a few peeves? Is it too early to break out a peeve? No, it's never too early for a peeve, but I got a couple myself.

Do you want to start? Sure. Let's start us off. Let me pull this puppy up here. One, this is comedy related, but I was at a show, and everybody's like, you got to see this opener. You got to see this opener. He's great.

He's great. I was like, oh, yeah, I can't wait. I'm going to watch him. I didn't know him, so I was like, all right, I'm going to watch this guy. And the guy who keeps telling me to watch him. I didn't know him. So I was like, all right, I'm going to watch this guy. And the guy who keeps telling me to watch him is now standing next to me while the kid is on, and he won't stop talking to me. So this kid's killing, and I'm missing all the punchlines because this guy's like, so when's your flight? Oh, man, this kid, he's great.

He's telling me how great the kid is, and I can't watch him. So I was like, you're killing me. It happens a lot. Yeah. It is solved with a, do you mind? I just want to watch. I know, but I can't do that. I know, you can killing me it isn't it happens a lot yeah it is solved with a do you mind i just want to watch i know but i can't i know you can't i need to call you and put you on speaker and tell him could you keep it down just hand up it's me on the phone i go who the fuck do you think you are no i i i'm with you though it happened to me the other day at the cellar someone was telling me to watch someone and i was like i'm trying i'm trying to watch and he's getting these big laughs you're

like i wish i could hear that punch yeah that's another thing that's like just watching comedy is like sometimes i have to take a break for because i don't want to be influenced but yeah you know i watched i've never really seen theo do a long set that was kind of fun oh yeah and then i watched colin quinn the next night at the Cellar. The two nights later. And I'm like, oh, man, this is like, they couldn't be more different. But you kind of take, you're like, oh, yeah, I like that he went, I wouldn't have thought to go this way for that joke. So it's kind of, it is kind of cool. It's a great thing about comedy.

The styles are all so different. You got like Maria Bamford. Then you got, you know, Tom Segura. They could be more different, but they're both funny. But I bet they both like each other, too. Exactly. That's great. Yeah, man. That's a good peeve. but they're both funny. I bet they both like each other, too. Exactly. That's great. Yeah, man. That's a good peeve.

I wrote down a bunch. I got a couple. We haven't seen each other in a while. Yeah, I got, ooh, here's one. You ever know someone who they just like, they fall asleep the second their head hits the pillow? Yeah, my wife has that. It makes me crazy. I know.

I'm so jealous speaking of cosby you know but it makes me so jealous because i we can't sleep well yeah i mean it's it's insanely annoying and uh it's also like they pick a fight with you and then and then you're like oh yeah and then you're just and you're like oh come on now i'm awake and you're just sleeping like a fucking kitten this is infuriating doesn't help with the bedroom stuff either, you know, when I'm getting all hot and heavy and she's going to town and I'm like, all right, hold on, let me just wipe my ass real quick and I come back and then she's snoring.

Well, speaking of Cosby again, I don't think that would have stopped him. Yeah, but she'll pass out if I don't keep the motor running. You know, it's like a car that dies. Come on! Yeah, so that's definitely a peeve. That's a peeve. Because it's like a car that dies come on yeah so that's definitely a peeve it's hard to sleep i know i'm taking a cocktail every night of melatonin and weed and uh whatever the hell is this good it's very good i'm worried it's too good it's like candy i know fucking love candy dude candy right oh yeah john candy all right i got one give me this one maybe could be a bit but uh

this is a strange one had the this guy standing next to me pops open a gum and he goes you want a piece of gum i go i'd love a piece of gum gives me the gum i put in my pocket he didn't like that what he was like well what are you doing and i'm like i'm gonna save that for later uh because i'm gonna eat right now. And I'll eat it after I eat. I'll chew the gum after I eat. And he's like, you got to eat it now. And I'm like, what do you care when I eat the gum?

And he's like, well, I gave you gum and you're going to save it? And I think he was half joking, but we got into like a thing. I felt like Larry David over here. Was he a gum pervert? He needs to watch? I think he was Jeff Orbits. I don't know. He was furious. But he kept bringing it up throughout the night. Jeff Orbitz. I don't know. He was furious,

but he kept bringing it up throughout the night. I was like, I'll eat the gum. That's a peeve right there. The continually bringing it up but not letting the thing go. Exactly, exactly.

The like, remember when he did that? And you're like, yeah, it was 20 minutes ago. That's a weird thing. Weird. He didn't like it. I always have gum on me too,

so I'm always like, if someone's like, do you have gum? I'm like, I got you. Yeah. I like being the gum guy. Everybody loves the gum guy. Everyone loves the gum guy. I got you right here. All right.

A little Dentine Fire, baby. I'll save it for later. They should sponsor me. No, you got to have it right now. No, gum people, you need us. We need you guys out there on the front lines. Yeah. Because, you know, when you got the stank breath and you show up.

It's nice. It's like a toot fairy. It's also like, you know, I feel like smokers. But then if you're a smoker, how do you have gum? How many pockets do you have? Yeah, good point. That becomes an issue. Good point.

Smoking is so expensive. I was just. I know. Someone was like $19 a pack here now. What? It's something crazy. Wow. So, yeah, that's. We were out on the river and Big Jay lost his cigarettes. He just went home. Someone was like $19 a pack here now. What? It's something crazy. Wow.

So, yeah, that's. We were out on the river and Big Jay lost his cigarettes. He just went home. He was like, I'm done. I can't do it. We're like, do it. We're in the middle of nowhere in the woods. He's like, I'm leaving.

I got an Uber. He was irons. He was just eaten by a bear. Yeah. I lost my bodega cat hat thanks to Stavros and I was fine. Oh, he took it? Well, he put it on because he's so scared of the sun. He sent me a picture. I thought he was like, this is so funny.

Stav sends a picture in the Bodega Cat. I'm like, oh, he's supporting. He just stole your hat? Just stole the hat. What the hell? The hat's gone. It's floating somewhere. Shark's eating it right now.

Oh, come on. I know. I will get another one. Somebody send us a Bodega hat. We have them on the website. Oh, we do? You can just get them. I don't want to buy one.

No, I mean, they're not going to charge you. It's our shit. Oh, all right. Stavro should buy it, a bodega hat. We have them on the website. Oh, we do? You can just get them. I don't want to buy one. No, I mean, they're not going to charge you. It's our shit. Oh, all right. Stop, Ro should buy it, that fucking Greek bastard. We'll get revenge, and we'll post a picture of me in the hat on Bodega Cat and pretend he's a sponsor. There you go. We'll throw it on the IG. I've got the picture on my phone.

Yeah, if he reshares it, he's got a big following. Yeah. No, we'll send him. Here's a peeve. I gave him the bottle what like when it came out a year ago or something i go to his house recently unopened oh that's worse than the gum break your sobriety stuff yeah come on you're wasting it can i have it then no we have a ton you don't have to pay for your own liquor, by the way. Oh, really? No. All right.

I knew we started this for a reason. You fucking... All right. Okay, I did gum. What do you got? Okay, what do I got? Peeves. Oh, God.

Like, just fucking idiots is my peeve. I'm in Greece. I'm at, like, a little cute Greek lunch spot. Oh, I love it. Love it, dude. Ate octopus like every meal. It's the best. Greeks, you know what's great about Greek food?

It's pretty damn healthy. Yeah. And it's delicious. I know. So fresh. So eat an octopus. And this woman comes in and it was like just, it's just her and us in the store. It's like, and she's one of those people I hated the second she came in.

She was loud. She was obnoxious. One of those people that like, it's just us and them in there. And she's making sure I can hear everything she's saying. So she's loud. And at one point, she looks at the menu for 10 minutes. And I just overhear go to the waiter. Can I just get like a muffin?

You scanned an entire Greek menu full of octopus and tomatoes fresh baklava and you came back with muffin I love this New Yorker you can't look at a menu for six minutes in a New York

you'll get trampled you'll get tased you got this New York guy in there this New York comedian who's probably nursing a hangover and then an old

yappy Kathy coming in and gets a muffin well she didn't get one. They don't have muffins. That's not a Greek treat. The waiter's not like, oh, yeah, sure, we'll whip you up a fucking muffin. So she was American.

Yeah, of course. She can't win a muffin. You don't get to just decide what you want if it's not on the menu. Yeah. I really wanted to be like, you're really not attractive enough to be this stupid. You're not. You got a real coos magnet coming your way. I do.

I feel like they're always around you. They're always around me. And I have a short, ugh. And I also like, and she caught me in a good mood, too, because I'd been hiking. So I'm like, you know, I'd been sweating stuff out. I felt good. Pheromones. And I was still furious.

Damn. I hope they threw her out of there. No, they served her like she got like whatever like she had the most basic thing on the menu she got whatever she probably got like a fucking cheeseburger or something right right those little uh delis i went to one in uh the amalfi coast and uh me and the lady went in she was like i'll just take a like a salami sandwich whatever it is the guy took a half hour to make and he went in the back pulled out the bread.

You saw everything he was using. He had deli meat hanging. I was like, what are we doing? It's a half hour for a fucking sandwich. It was the best sandwich I've ever had in my life. I know. It was incredible. You're getting so angry.

That's a peeve, though. European timing. Oh, my God. Every meal is three hours. That's why they live to their 108, because they're waiting on a meal. They're just sitting there waiting. Those people live forever.

It is literally every meal. They're just like, you forgot about me. They're like, no, this is how we do it. That's how they do it. I went to France once, and we go, dinner was great. We'll take the check. It takes like 20 minutes to make the check. I was like, are they cooking the check?

Are you going to the fucking Czech Republic to get the check? Yeah. So I started ordering the check with the appetizer so i'd be like here's the app we'll get this as an entree and we'll get the check and they were like whoa what are you crazy and i'm like we got a show to make you know like it's crazy i just don't want to be at dinner for three hours no i gotta pee for you the first first fucking, you go and I'll bring it back. All right, all right. This is maybe why France is rioting. This is a wife thing.

Maybe if they had shorter dinners, they'd have longer work weeks. They'd get something done in that fucking country. That's true. You got that right, Macron. Whatever his name is. But somebody just drove a car through one of the departments. It's getting crazy out there. It's like crazy out there.

Dude, the heat in Europe right now is... Oh, really? Oh, my God. They're shutting shit down. Oh, wow. People are going on vacation. They're like, you can't walk around. Damn. I went to the Parthenon in Athens, and they were like, it's pretty...

I recommend not going during the day because it's hot as hell. But we just went, and it was fine. But, I mean, it was hot, but we just drank water. But now they're like, you can't go. Wow. It's too hot. Like there's certain hours it's shut down. You can't.

That is scary. Yeah, it's hot. We've been hearing about climate change. And then when it starts actually affecting your life, you're like, this is bad. Yeah. You know? So it's all going downhill. It's not good.

We had the hottest day on record like two days ago, and then the day after that was the next hottest day on record. I mean, it's bad. Yeah. Extreme heat. There you go. Fires rage. Yeah, the fires are going to go up too.

Ugh. Ugh. Yikes. Bad times, folks. A lot of stuff to worry about. I know. How about places without AC now? I mean, how do you even live with that?

Yeah, that's true. When I grew up, a lot of places just had ceiling fans in New Orleans. I feel like it didn't used to be that bad, though. I mean, it was hot, but like. Yeah, maybe. That's true. No one's getting a heat stroke. I mean, people are getting heat stroke now.

Now they are, yeah. But last peeve, and we'll move on. Or unless you got more. I might have more. Bring them on. and we'll move on, or unless you got more. I might have more. Bring them on.

Looking at, you know, me and the lady are working on a new house in Brooklyn, and we're, you know, hey, how about these cabinets? It's a nightmare. But we're looking at rugs, and now this is maybe a lady thing, but she goes, okay, here's five rugs. Which one do you like the best? And I'm like, that one. That's a pretty rug. And she goes, okay, here's five rugs. Which one do you like the best? And I'm like, that one.

That one's a pretty rug. And she goes, okay, that one. I go, that one. Boom, moving on. I turn the TV back on. And she goes, wait, hold on. She turns the TV off. She's like, that one's a little bright.

And I'm like, I like that one. And she's like, you don't think it's too bright? I'm like, you asked me which one I like. I told you. That's it. That's the case closed. Final answer. Yeah, that would annoy me.

Yeah. Also. We're going to do a lap every time. There's only one rug we care about. It's between your legs, ladies. I'll tell you. Working hard wood. I don't, yeah, I don't give a shit.

Decorating stuff is not for the guys. I mean, look, most men men do not it's like the wedding with the wedding planning i was like whatever you want i'll pay for it you pick it and you know you want to get a blackface minstrel show i'm like whatever let's just move it along let's just keep it moving you got a blackface rug you're like wow this is gonna be weird when i have certain people over just rub my feet on al jolson uh but yeah so i just hate the which one do you like i pick it and she's like really that one it's a little bright i'm like that's what i picked i know well you know what i think they are they second guess stuff they have like more of an aesthetic uh you know personality yeah maybe that's not even the right wording of it but you know what i mean like they

they to them that's important and to guys we just don't give a shit but they it's you're you're moving into a place they want to be part of it sure i but the shit you care about like for me i'm like where are we gonna put the tv of course of course yeah we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna mount that we can mount it there to me like i like guy shit like oh i want like an electronic leather like you've been to my couch that like great reclining leather yes to me that's badass i like great couch i like like a cool marble table i like like same stuff i want like a wine fridge you know built into the counter i want all that so i want a cool shower with steam stuff going dude are you gonna get a steam i'm getting the steam shower yeah i'm so jealous i can't wait to go up to her what steam shower do you like

and she's gonna go that's a little steamy. What do you think? I just keep second guessing. No, the problem is she'll like that. She'll be like, it is a little steamy. I know, you're right. A steamer is so luxurious. That is badass.

Yeah. You're going to feel good. I can't wait. It's good for hangovers. Gets the pores opening up. I'm excited. They say it's good for your health. Yeah, there was a baseball player, Miguel Cabrera,

and I heard, I don't know if it's true, but I heard that in his rider, every hotel room he stayed in had to have a steamer because he was a drunk. He's also a Hall of Famer, which is incredible. He's like a Hall of Famer. I mean, you guys know Miguel Cabrera. Of course. I don't know if that's on the internet,

if that's fact checkable, but that's what I, and it's like when you're that great and rich, I'm sure they're like, we can find you a- These guys are dangerous because they give me hope. I'm like, I don't have to quit drinking. Cabrera's a home-run hitter, and he's a fucking crazy alcoholic. Same with Bert. Yeah. Now, Bert's going strong.

Yeah. Yeah, we drink all day. We were walking from a bus to a shower, and he was like, you know, I can drink all day now and then walking like from a bus to a shower and he was like you know i could drink all day now and then take a nap and i'm fine and i'm like that's not good like you should be not able to do that like that's how bad of an alcoholic you are that you're he's like chugging eight beers at lunch and he takes like a cat nap and he's fine and he's bragging about it and i'm like this is bad this is bad there's another word for a cat nap and he's fine and he's bragging about it. And I'm like, this is bad. This is bad.

There's another word for a cat nap when you drink that much. It's called passing out. Yeah. It's not a good thing. It's like someone going, you know, I don't eat a lot of sweets. I don't feel my foot. There's no pain. I'm like, no, but you got to chop it off.

That's you dying slowly. That's bad. But you want to be supportive. So you're like, hey, rock on, brother, or whatever. Here's another beer. So yeah, but we had a great time. He keeps it all together. It's very impressive.

He chugs a beer before he says anything. The crowd goes ape shit. Oh, it's incredible. It's Led Zeppelin shit. It is amazing. Fully loaded. If you get a chance. I mean, it's just an event.

There's the beach ball going. People get there early with the lawn chairs and the music. It's crazy. It is amazing. Did you do a chance, I mean, it's just an event. There's a beach ball going. People get there early with the lawn chairs and the music. It's crazy. It is amazing. Did you do a few dates? I did. I did. I was supposed to do the cruise, but I was like, I can't.

Oh, yeah, the cruise. They were demanding an answer like the day of, and I was like, I can't. The cruise will be interesting. You're doing it? I'm doing it, but they keep adding fun people like Patton. Sean Patton's going. The RU Garbage guys are going. Norton's going.

Oh, wow. It'll be a fun group. If there's too much drinking, you can hang with Norton. That's true. Because he's sober. He is dead sober, but he's going to be eyeballing that hooker list. He's like, what kind of massages are these? Oh, there you go.

Shang Wang, I love. Yeah, he's great. Pete Lee's a good egg. Yeah, he's going to be great. Oh, I got top billing here next to the big cum. Yeah, Whitney Cummins and Mark Norm. Wow. I was pumped to go with you, but they were demanding a fucking answer.

No, I hate that. It's so far away. His reps were demanding an answer literally over a year out from when it was happening. Totally. And I was, this isn't a proud thing to say, I was vomiting in the toilet because it was when my other podcast wrapped. It was Julian Edelman and I wrapped. We got wasted as like a celebration. I'm puking in the toilet and like, no. When you're puking, you don't want to go on the high seas. Yeah. You know, that doesn't add up. You just eat and eat buffet. I don't want to fucking go, you know. Totally.

You guys get where I was going. I couldn't really get that one out. I get it. I get it. What other peeves do we have? Also, when you're hungover, you think about being on a boat with Whitney. That's a lot. Well, I don't think she was there.

I think originally it was you, me, and Shane. Oh, wow. I think that's what it was there. I don't think it was. I think originally it was you, me, and Shane. Oh, wow. I think that's what it was originally. That would have sank. Oh, you ever venting to someone and they take the side of the other thing? Oh, that's great. I'm complaining to my mom about the flights. I'm like, these fucking airlines.

She's like, well, they're having a hard time. You're siding with United? That's great. I'm your son. What about the flights. I'm like, these fucking airlines. She's like, well, they're having a hard time. You're siding with United? That's great. I'm your son. What the hell is wrong with you? She's like, I'm a member. I got platinum. I got to go with them.

That's a peeve. That's a great peeve. So true. And that could go with anything. You're like, man, they bombed the towers, and they ran into the towers, and they're like, well, they're in the way. They've been up there a long time.

The towers had a good run, Sam. Yeah, you know, I got another peeve. And look, we're all guilty of this shit. We all do it because, you know, social media and all that shit. But, like, people who aggressively send you videos, and that's fine, but then the following up. I'm going to cut it. It's a little sweet. The following up of, did you watch it yet? Oh and that's fine but then the the following up i'm gonna cut it it's a little sweet the following up of did you watch it yet oh that's bad did you watch it yeah you got

homework i exactly yeah i'm literally like oh sorry i didn't get to that yet i'm at mount sinai with my grandma but uh what is it oh it's a guy dancing with down syndrome yeah i'm glad i watched that and saying goodbye that was really that was I still think you've got to watch it. I still think you've got to watch it. Yeah, that's a great one. The check-in guy. The check-in and the homework. But that being said, I did send Matt some good videos for this week.

Can you get some of them cooking? All right. Some of these, look, I get sent a lot of these. I have friends like this who send me. Oh, this is a good one. Have you seen this one, Mark? James has seen this one, I get sent a lot of these. And I have friends like this who send me. Oh, this is a good one. Have you seen this one, Mark? James has seen this one, I know. I'm already laughing.

I sent this one to James. Get the sound on. Oh, man. So we have a dwarf? Yeah. Oh, man. Wow. This kid's great. Oh oh good for him it's so simple all you have to do is add the super mario music

and you've got a hit that's a hit and this anybody gets this you can take this to china to the middle east to africa to mexico it's gold and every it's universal everybody knows mario and he's so pleased with himself afterwards, the smile to the camera is great. It's a feel-good video. It is a feel-good video. Everybody wins, including this guy. He's going to get laid off of this thing. He better.

Good for him. What else we got? Wow. Where do you find these? Oh, this is a cringe video. This is people, have you ever heard of these? These are people trying to be sexy and they post it thinking they're being sexy, but it's always horrific.

Okay. I think this should be a trend on the show as well. Send these in, folks, because these are all over the world. Cringe videos are killer. Being shared. Send this in. Wow. Wow. That's pretty good. Wow.

That's pretty good. Yeah, that's rough. So he's trying to be hot. Yeah, I mean, can you imagine that's your dad? Ah! You're like, my dad's on Instagram. You're like, yeah, mine is too. And they're like, no, it gets worse.

He's really on it. We need Jonah Hill to text this guy, hey, you got to stop. We have boundaries. Holy shit. Isn't that crazy? Crazy. You know what he's doing there this guy, hey, you got to stop. We have boundaries. Holy shit. Isn't that crazy? Crazy. You know what he's doing there, though, don't you? He's showing the lady how he's going to eat her out.

For sure. Yeah. Not a bad technique. Let's see. Let's see it again. Got a wide tongue. Yeah. No, he's got, you know, it's not one motion, which is good.

Yeah, he's better than me. I'm just painting the fence down there. Yeah, but the problem is after he's licking it you you you're with him yeah yeah that's true that's the problem that's true wow we gotta get the writer strike endings holy shit yeah i love that like ted sarandos is like we'll be okay and this is what we're watching like i don't know dude i think that's a good point we might be in trouble that's a great point yeah the internet wins every time. What else do we have?

Anything else? Wendy Williams. Oh, this is killer. Have you not seen this? No. I literally found this for you. You know I love LD. Larry David and Wendy Williams. A few years ago, I was at the 92nd Street Y here in New York, in Manhattan.

And Larry David was there, and I was there with some other people. Larry and I had a conversation and all of a sudden I started to feel my panties drop. I mean, they did it. Yeah! Yeah! Wait, did LG just bang Wendy Williams? I'm confused.

I love that she's like, I wanted to fuck Larry David, and her entire studio audience is like... He's got something. Oh, yeah. I met him in person, and he's got a swagger to him. He's old and bald and got glasses, but he's got something. Yeah, being one of the funniest richest people in the country well that will give you a swag i think yeah well sal he's made a great point we were we were having dinner last night and he goes you know larry

david invented two of the biggest shows ever where he he's the same guy like he just in he did seinfeld with george costanza which is based on larry david and then he just did curb which is larry david but he got based on Larry David, and then he just did Curb, which is Larry David. But he got a second life out of it because he only played one of them. Exactly. But yeah, you're right. Pretty brilliant. It's like, I love every character in Seinfeld, but like, there's something about George. Something about George.

He's great. And so great that he couldn't progress. Like, he's got the curse. It's such a good... I guess K. He's got the curse. Such a good. I guess Kramer had more of a curse. You know what I mean. If only he cursed. That's true.

That was rough. That was kind of a moving Comedians in Cars, though, with Michael Richards. Great ep. Great ep. It was kind of a movie. Although it is crazy. Remember when Godfrey came on here? Yeah.

And he was saying that Michael Richards would just have those racist meltdowns like other times. Oh, that's right. He said that wasn't like a one time. Ooh. Yeah. He just got caught with that grainy cell phone footage. Yeah. Yeah.

Remember when he went on Letterman with Seinfeld? They zoomed him in. Oh my God. I would never do that for one of my friends. Can we pull that up? If one of my friends just goes on a racist tirade, I'm like, you're going on Leno alone. Don't drag me

into this shit. I think this was so new then. No, I know. I think it was in college. I remember seeing it. It was on a shitty smartphone. Yeah. At the Laugh Factory. Flip phone camera.

But also, Sam was the king of the world back then. So I think he thought, he's like, I can fix this. Well, I guess there's an interest because you're like, this is fucking your streaming money. Oh, I didn't think about that. Well, yeah, the rest of the Cosby cast ain't thrilled with what Bill did. Factor. Summertime is crazy busy. You're visiting grandma.

You're shuttling the kids to summer camp. Cooking is probably the last thing on your mind. Let Factor handle mealtimes for you. America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit helps you fuel up fast by delivering delicious food right to your door. Ready in two minutes. Factor meals are fresh, never frozen. Just heat them up and enjoy. I love them.

They come in right on time, and I can't cook, so this is good for me. And I try to watch what I eat, and they got these smoothies that are just dynamite. A little strawberry banana action. I like it. Get the produce in you. Get the produce in you. Get the greens in you. The fruit. Whether you're counting calories, looking to boost your protein intake,

or follow a specific dietary lifestyle factor has you covered. With over 34 weekly meal options to choose from, like grilled steakhouse filet mignon and green goddess chicken, there's always something new to try. Factor in just for dinner time. Upgrade your lunches and snacks with microwave-free on-the-go options to save you tons of time every day. Head to factormeals.com slash drunk50 and use code DRUNK50 to get 50% off. That's code DRUNK50 at factormeals.com slash DRUNK50 to get 50% off.

It's amazing when you can find exactly what you need. It all comes in a kit that's ready to go, and all your problems are solved. Manscaped is here to solve your grooming woes so you can have the smoothest balls at the summer barbecue. A lot of times I'll be at a barbecue and be like, who's got the smoothest balls here? And I'm like, right here, dude. I have the smoothest balls, and I fuck all the milfs there. Like eggs.

Just pick up the Performance Package 4.0 and you'll be all set. It comes with a Lawn Mower 4.0 trimmer, Weed Whacker 2.0 for ear and nose hair trimming for old gramps, and Crop Preserver for anti-chafing, Ball Deodorant, Crop Reviver, Ball Toner, and two free gifts. A pair of comfy boxers and a classy travel bag to store all your new stuff. I use this. I trim my ball hair.

Got to look good. You don't want to sweat too much. And you know what? You want a lady to go down there, you better trim. You got that right. We all know what's shaving down there, and it can be a little nerve-wracking. You're like, is this going to cut a hole in my ball sack? I'm going to be shooting pus all over granddad's barbecue.

No, you're not. Not with Manscaped. The Lawn Mower 4.0 trimmer is even made with a cutting-edge ceramic blade and skin-safe technology to reduce grooming accidents. Yes. I got that word right. So you can weed whack to your heart's content. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code DRUNK at Manscaped.com.

That's 20% off and free shipping at Manscaped.com with code DRUNK. Manscaped. The perfect way to get your pants sizzling hot this summer. Woo-wee! Nice. Alright, here we go. Game time! The days of camping out in front of the arena for Grateful Dead

tickets are over, because they're dead. Buying tickets to your favorite show should be as simple as ordering a pizza. Thanks to Game Time it is. Game Time is a fast and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports, music, and comedy near you. With killer deals on last minute tickets and their best price guarantee. Stop stressing over tickets and start getting hyped for the fun. Tickets are crazy now.

You got the fees, the online purchase bullshit, the extra stuff they tack on. It's too much. Too many games. Too many games, too many websites, scalpers, StubHub, all that shit. You can't figure it out. But Game Time's got you covered. It's got deals on tickets right up to the day of the event. Get exclusive flash deals on tickets for football baseball basketball concerts theater

and comedy plus the game time guarantee if you find tickets in the same section and row for less game time will credit you 110 of the difference wow game time lets you see photos of your seat before you buy them oh i like that and sends tickets directly to your phone, making game time the easiest way to get the best seats in the house. Snag the tickets without distress with game time. Download the game time app, create an account, and use code DRUNK for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and use code DRUNK for $20 off.

Download game time today. Last minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. Count and use code DRUNK for $20 off. Download GameTime today. Last minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. I lost my temper on stage. They start laughing. It's weird. A comedy club trying to do my act, and I got heckled, and I took it badly and went into a rage. I took it badly and went into a rage and said some pretty nasty things to some Afro-Americans. This would be a great time to be like, I talked to my friend Bob Sacamano.

Giddy up. And you were actually being heckled or were they just talking and disturbing the act? That was going on, too. You can't do this on a show like Letterman. You have to do it on like a Charlie Rose. I'm making sure that this is where I should be... He knows it. ...addressing the situation. I've already heard you make some jokes about it,

and that's okay, you know, but I'm really busted up over this, and I'm very, very sorry to those people in the audience, the blacks, the Hispanics, the whites, everyone that was there that took the brunt of that anger and hate and rage and how it came through. And I'm concerned about more hate and more rage and more anger coming through, not just

towards me, but towards a black-white conflict, there's a great deal of disturbance in this country and how blacks feel about what happened in Katrina. And you know, many of the comics, many performers are in Las Vegas and New Orleans trying to raise money for what happened there. That's right. That's the thing about comedy, guys.

Timing. For this to happen, for me to be in a comedy club and flip out and say this crap, you know, I'm deeply, deeply sorry. Nice mood lamp in the back, by the way. I know. I don't know about that. The Bohemian Rhapsody cover here. It's a weird lighting. I've got to get to the force field of this hostility.

He looks like he's about to go painting with Bob Ross here. Exactly. Got a PBS place, whether or not it's between me and a couple of hecklers in the audience or between this country and another nation. But let me interrupt here for a second and ask a question about had had the the people doing the heckling or the people who were not paying attention had they been uh white or caucasian or uh any other race what what would have been the nature of your response then it may have happened you know i'm a performer i i push the envelope i work in a very uncontrolled manner on stage i do a lot of free association and spontaneous i go into character i do i i don't know know. No one wants to hear Kramer say I'm edgy. Right?

If I push the arm. Look, sometimes you just. I don't know. Yeah. The rage did go all over the place. It went to. You know what? When he said what they were, he should have been like, well, that depends.

Were they Jewish? I mean, I don't know. It depends what kind of white we're dealing with. I don't. Is he Jewish? No, I don't think so. I thought he was. Is he? I don't think he jewish people could no i don't think so i thought he was is he

you look i don't think he is okay wow man that is tough very awkward that was i remember being like that was like a thing that made as a comedy fan made me sad oh yeah because i love kramer i mean he's a super talent michael richards and we've all laughed at him for nine ten years and i still watch and i laugh i Of course. I can separate it. You know, it's Jewish or not. I don't know why we need a full article. This is a real deep dive. It's a yes or no.

Which makes him technically not being born by blood as Jewish and not formally going into a conversion. It is amazing the laughs he would squeeze out of shit in Seinfeld where it would be, you like think about what was on the page and what he did with it. Yeah, he's brilliant. It's incredible. He's a talent and it's sad that he fucked up and now he don't

get his talent anymore. You think he'll ever do like a real part again? He should do like an internet show or something like oj's out there oj's golfing on instagram hi twitter world that's a good point you know and but every comment is just a knife if you watch it i was gonna say the oj it's not a good look but he's out there he's out there yeah i mean love it every minute colin quinn's got a great bit about that how like we don't know how we're perceived on the internet.

OJ's just like on there talking about golf. Yeah, yeah. Well, back to Larry David. He put him on Curb and they addressed it in a comedic way. And it was great. And it was great. That was a great. JB Smoove.

Yeah, I mean that's how you get past a lot. Yeah. I mean this was like maybe was this the first cancellation of our lifetime it was big it was one of the early ones because they had the cell phone footage that was when the cell phone camera was new and then tosh was right after this but this was so much bigger than this i mean this was like a gotcha moment you're right the cell phone was new and that is the gotcha device. That's it. That's why we got to bag them up at the clubs. It's just weird to see a kooky sitcom star.

If you saw Brad Garrett call someone a dirty Arab, you'd be uncomfortable, too. You're just used to silliness. You're not used to, you know. Right, right. And he could have leaned into it. He could have been like, all right, I'm the edgy guy now, you know? I don't know if that would have worked. He's on tour in a leather jacket and a cigarette.

He's like, ooh. He's at the Capitol ride, sliding in. Oh, man, poor bastard. But he's got money for life, I assume. I was going to ask that. I wonder, because everyone says residuals have really taken such a hit. I wonder how big a hit you take on a guy like that i'm sure the payout when seinfeld goes to like netflix or hulu i would assume for a star that big they get something but

i don't know you would assume i know jerry and larry probably get well i know there's creators and they're also set um yeah many times over jerry on top of him the would be set just from stand-up yeah and then you got lar's got Curb as well. I mean, but then for guys like, you know, Michael Richards or Jason Alexander, this was like their big thing. Oh, yeah. But I would think, you've got to think they're still insanely rich.

Yeah. And hats off to Julie Louis-Dreyfus for breaking the curse. She had that Evelyn, what was that show? New Adventures of Old Christine. She had that show. Never saw was that show uh new adventures of old christine she had that show never saw it but she got an emmy for it she got an emmy and it was on for like six years or whatever something substantial and then she did veep and she did movies veep is insane veep is great it's insanely good talk about needing writers that is a well i mean it's a joke

a second i've said it again before i'll say it again, with these executives who are like, these writers are replaceable. It's like, well, you're more replaceable than writers to me. Because if we're talking about an algorithm that's just like yes or no. That's a good point. And you're getting $56 million a year. Right. And they're making, what, $150, $200 grand to actually write and put words in? Yeah. What's a harder job for a robot? The $200,000 to actually write and put words in.

What's a harder job for a robot? The robot really just has to say yes or no. Exactly. The algorithm on TikTok that just feeds me, that's not a man. Right, right. That's a robot. Just get that robot and get rid of these motherfuckers. Robot execs.

That's good. But, you know, it is weird. Like, the let them go broke, it's like very let them eat cake. It's very gross. It's gross and it's weird. And I can't believe he said that out loud. Yeah. You know? And the actors are involved now.

I think that'll help. But, yeah, it's tough sledding. I don't know, man. It's like so ugly now that you're like, who knows? Although, you know, look, people make up. But it's fucking. Well, that's why the internet is winning the internet is uh number one you know everybody's starting their own shit podcasts specials that's probably all gonna go that way eventually i mean who

watches tonight show no offense to those guys you know we've all done it but like is anyone like i gotta tune in but there's a lot of like power behind it and you're still saying that there's a lot of like true a lot of people are pushing that but you're right i mean's a lot of power behind it, and you're still saying that. There's a lot of pushing. True. A lot of people are pushing that. But you're right. I mean, a lot of these companies failed to adapt. Yes. And now they're just – I mean, look at Viacom. Look at their failure to adapt for years.

And now it's like, sign up for Paramount+. I'm like, I've got a drinking problem. That's the only reason I signed up for it. I wanted to watch Bar Rescue one night and i was like fine i forgot to cancel the trial that's the only reason i have your dumb thing yeah you're not gonna get enough people that way forgetting to cancel is really the only reason i have most things i know you want to do a trial i'm like all right i'll do a trial and then they know i'm not gonna cancel it you're just looking at it like what the fuck is tubi yeah i have tubi i know exactly they get you

peacock tubi you're like this with that's that's the way social media is going now it's like used to just be facebook that was i guess like cable yeah now you're like threads is like peacock what is threads i keep hearing about it you don't know what it is i don't know what it is it's like zuckerberg's response to twitter okay i guess he and elon musk were like we want to fight. And he's like, well, now I made another Twitter. Yeah, yeah. So there you go. But is anyone doing it?

Are you doing it? I downloaded it. I'm not super active on it. Yeah, yeah. But it's like the exact same thing as Twitter. But he's like, we're going to make this a nice place. I'm like, all right, you steal people's data. You're not a good guy.

We have to pretend that we're like, look, he's the nice guy. I'm like, you're not a good person. I'm like, well, we're like look he's the nice guy like you're not a good person like well you didn't create twitter you know yeah you just bought it you bought it for 40 billion or whatever yeah 44 i think something crazy and then uh and then it's uh it that's my point now it's decreasing value but there's also so many things yeah and and zuckerberg it's so funny that all these guys are just like billionaires but they're just like now they're just like i'll be a good fighter yeah yeah like bezos is ripped elon musk is like i'll fucking fight you i'm like the point of having that much money is not fighting yes you just

chill look at richard branson he's fucking hopefully of age women on a mile on an island somewhere you know it's like he just went to the moon like a week ago. He's got a good life. Yeah. Well, do you think that social media will go away? Ever? No. Oh, really? We're in too deep. It seems to be pretty toxic. Like it seems like young girls are killing themselves at a higher rate and everybody's got depression and anxiety.

Well, that's the evil is like Facebook or whatever, Instagram would run these studies to see if it was healthy for young people, for their self-esteem. And it was having a negative impact. And all the results are like, this is so bad for young women. And they're like, OK, they don't change anything. They just do the studies. It's good to know. But we'll continue doing everything the exact way we're doing it. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, even the guy guy, the guy who invented it was like, this is bad. And you're like, you made it. Oh my God. And there's a zillionaire off of it. There's all these articles now saying like AI is like, the only hopeful thing I've heard is like,

well, you know, people were like the internet, they were pessimistic about that. And maybe the AI can be used as like a tool that will get us to, you know, things more quickly. But dude, everything I read about it from people way, way, way smarter than me, we're fucked. That's what I hear, too.

It's not good. But I think maybe we'll be cool and niche because we're, like, human. I think people are going to want to go see a human. Cut to Robot Norman charging half of Mark's ticket sites. And Mark's like, I'm finished. They got me. I'm really fucked because I'm already robotic. So it's not that hard to replicate me.

The robot's like, ah. And you're like, fuck, that's what I do. Every day I get 800 guys going, hey, I did a chat GBT with your joke and your style. And I'm like, that's pretty good. I know. It's not bad. Can I use that? It's pretty good. I know. It's not bad. Can I use that? It's definitely scary.

I hear what the executives are saying, like, what's to stop these writers from using chat GPT? And it's like, all right, but I think you do need writers. Of course. You know, because they say AI just absorbs everybody's writing. Exactly. They absorb Harry Potter and Lord of the rings and star wars but they didn't think of star it's like a collage of plagiarism there you go yeah good way to put it but i i think of uh you know i all these people there was a david brooks thing in the in the new

york times and he was just like this i forgot the guy's name you probably look it up who he was like this is the guy who's like ai will never uh be able to make analogies the way humans can that's the one thing there's certain things and then that guy this week was like they figured it out that was his whole thing and he was like and he sounds so depressed because he's like my he's like that was like a part of intelligence that only humans could really do very human and now he's saying like uh nah we uh they he's like my whole life's work is fucked. Oh, man. That's like everything my life was, you know.

Well, they won't go offensive. So I got that. That's something. They might. I've tried. Never? I'm like, say some Asian stuff, you know, and just a picture of Shane Gillis came up. But they won't do it.

What did they say? I don't do that? They say that is inappropriate. Yeah, see, I'm sorry, but I cannot comply with that request. So I was a little hopeful because I'm like, all right, I'll just do it, the Asian joke. It's like my girlfriend when I asked for anal. I can't comply. I can't comply, no.

I asked my girl and she just went. Cosby. Yeah. Yeah. See, it won't do it. So that's something. you can't get a George Carlin or Richard Pryor or Lenny Bruce also the people I think I would hope they like they like to watch your arc and your like rise and your ups and your downs and that's human and and that

Chad GBT AI doesn't have that you want to to get behind a thing. I mean, that's like, as a sports fan, I get behind players and their different chapters. Yes. Oh, he's young here. He had to learn this move. He lost his athleticism. He had to develop a post game. Totally. Shit like that is exciting and different teams and the drama.

And I think hopefully this doesn't happen too soon hopefully we have a few you know we got a little bit we can't go outside but we can do this like but when you walk out on stage you can feel them go oh like we've all seen the cellar where chris rock walks on like they go chris rock and then when he shows up they're like oh there he is the second pop yeah they feel like you're fucking with them for a sec. Exactly. So that second pop is all we have. So when you show up on stage, they go, hey, there he is.

And you can't replace that with AI. You can't replace the there he is. So I think that's something. You go see a band and you're like, whoa, they're sweating up there. That's part of the fun. They can figure out perspiration. Yeah, that's true. Sweaty robots. They'll get on that's uh no i think porn will be fucked like porn stars are gonna go what

because a robot sex robots yeah because i think uh you can just shoot way more way easier they don't have feelings they don't have they're not going on chafing you know it's just boom boom boom you can knock it all out they'll be cheaper uh you don't have to test them none of that so like porn will go because you don't need no one's like that's my guy in porn are they i think people have their people yeah i guess you're right deep fake porn oh deep fake is really scary say bye to kyle dunnigan that's his whole thing and he's great at it. But it's scary because it keeps getting better so quick. Yeah, it is scary.

Do you have any wrecks or bits? Do you have porn AI? See, look, it looks off. Look at that Asian lady. That's all. Yeah, that's no good. I can tell that's fake. That's not bad, actually. Is that fake's no good. I can tell that's fake.

That's not bad, actually. Is that fake? Those are fake women? Is that fake? Ah. They look very young, dude. They look very, very young. Well, Asian don't raise them.

Those are fake? No, those are fake. That's obvious. Is that Zarna Garg? What the hell is going on? That's a weird choice. Ah, jeez. geez yeah porn's fucked all right you're distracting me here but like oh yeah see that lady looks this pod is gonna have a good two minute break of markers being like oh those tits are okay those aren't good those work yeah well you used to have the guy because you know you always have the the real

tits guy you know he's like i only like real tits man i hate fake tits and you're like all right well then ai's out for you yeah it is you know what's weird too is uh when i was in edmonton that hotel we were in there was some big wedding that night and these two women in the elevator they both of them had like the biggest tits i've ever seen it's like so silly so big and they were like skinny. They looked like porn stars. They were skinny with giant tits. And one of them had clearly work done on her face. And they were young. I'm kind of like, why did you have work done?

I bet you're prettier than this. I know. But the tits are so big that you're just like, I mean, both of you have, it's just weird to have friendships. We should get our tits done. Of course. We're just friends. We should get our tits done together.

Yeah. That is great. It's like a tattoo but they're like so big and i was the self when i told my dad he's like how could you tell they were fake i'm like because they look perfect what do you mean because they look awesome they're up here they rock hard they look awesome but then you're kind of like but that's like that is weird to touch or you know sure sure you've been with a fake boob lady yeah yeah yeah they're they're different it's different yeah i mean like the rocking on top is not as exciting yeah doesn't move as much and me and my gal are on the couch and i'm just hitting them like during a movie like i just like to move them it's fun to play with boobs they're the best yeah tits are great we have them on the table for christ's sake i love tits tits by the way these are from

is it true these are from Trey Parker's wife? Boogie Parker. What's her name? Boogie, right? Boogie? Oh, Boogie. Can we get the South Park guys on here? Oh, they're busy, but it'd be great.

I'm so mad that I was just in Denver and Casa Bonita isn't open yet. Oh. We wanted to go to Casa Bonita so badly. See, that's another thing about success is doing shit like that. That's what I want to do. Open up your favorite restaurant with a water slide in it and all that stuff. They put 40 mil into it. Oh, I didn't know it was that much.

Dude, do you got any bits or wrecks or anything? I got bits. I'm trying to think if I have any wrecks. Have you seen Sound of Freedom? No, I'm just kidding. That's that new pedophile movie. Oh, jeez. It's like number one on the box office.

I'm glad I don't know what it is. Yeah. It's blowing up because it's like a sex trafficking movie. Oh, wow. Yeah. What's it on? I think it's in theaters. It's in theaters?

It's in theaters. You know what the saddest sound ever is? One for Sound of Freedom, please. Yeah. It's killing it. Jim Cazell, whatever his name is. Caviezel. Caviezel.

It's a true story, too. Oh, wow. Oh, Bill Camp. I interviewed him back in the day. Oh, really? When I had a sports show. He's a great actor. He was the instructor on Queen's Gambit, the chess instructor.

Oh, yeah. He's a great actor. Mira Sorvino's back, too, baby i love sorvino um but yeah so it's blowing up it's number one in the box office is it a good movie i heard it's terrible uh but at 96 it's got this is like a movie for this time this is like we're so divided as a country yeah the only yeah. The only thing we can come together on is like, pedos are still bad, right? Right, right.

We can't agree if Margot Robbie's attractive. A hundred percent. Yeah. Crazy. That's the new thing, that like the country's so divided that people are like, Margot Robbie,

I'm not sold. Yeah, yeah, it's true. I'm like, shut the fuck up. Well, this is kind of like the new Top Gun. Like, this is saving cinema, blah, blah, blah. Well, hopefully Oppenheimer saves cinema. Oh, I can't wait for that. Isn't't it funny we got oppenheimer for the guys and barbie for the ladies you know it's like we have our i feel like ladies want to see oppenheimer too though

i brought it up to my gal she she fell asleep really yeah she doesn't care about oppenheimer i was like well oppenheimer it's a true story it's amazing it's christopher nolan yeah come on she doesn't care oppenheimer she doesn't like those big dramas like that. Yeah. She wants some true crime or some 90 Day Fiance. Yeah. But I can't wait for this. 90 Day Fiance, oof.

Oof. Makes you dumber. I'm just, yeah, if I'm going to watch bad reality TV, how about an occasional Bar Rescue? That's the one that's. I love Bar Rescue. 90 Day Fiance, I tried. It just makes me sad because someone's

just getting fucked. Exactly. It's horrible. The only good thing about 90 Day Fiance is it gives you hope for America because there's some guy out in the middle of Nairobi and he's like, I cannot wait to move to Destin, Florida. Holy shit, I'm going to get a condo. I'll fuck this pig just to get a sweet

taste of that sea air oh i'm gonna go to tom thumb and 7-eleven and walmart it's gonna be great they give it all up for tallahassee yeah exactly exactly so you're like oh maybe america's not so bad yeah we're all right we're doing all right we're doing all right good teacher really seemed to care sound of freedom freedom. Sound of freedom. Yeah, I wonder if Barbie will tank. No. You think it'll do well?

I think it's going to do well. Okay. I would hope they both do well just for movies, man. We got to keep these theaters open, folks. Three hours, though. Why do they do that with the three hour? I feel like that hurts them. Yeah, I mean, I'm fine with it, but can we get a bathroom break?

I don't want to miss the movie and you want me to three fucking hours yeah you got the bladder of a small taiwanese boy oh it's terrible young boy is that a word taiwanese yeah okay okay just checking yeah yeah i learned to hold the urine early as a bed wetter really i had to do a lot of hold my bladders giant you got a big bladder i can we did uh you ever do edward 40 hands yeah i never pissed i would always make it yeah so you is that is it do you do it like just for fun or competition uh well now i do it just out of convenience like oh i'm driving cross country i can make it to fucking utah before i have to pee really no i'm joking but i know i know but that's i can go far i can't before I have to pee. No, I'm joking. No, I know, but that's- I can go far.

I can't. I have a shit bladder. I just go. I just, I'm like, I can pee. Why would I not pee? Well, my dad was so annoyed with me wetting the bed so much that he made a rule that I wasn't allowed to have liquid after six. Wow.

So I kind of just learned to stretch it over time. Respect. Let me, can I try a bit on you? Oh, all right. I thought you were going to say go to the bathroom. No. All right. Yeah, hit me and then I'll.

You're making me feel bad. I'm not going to go anymore. No, I don't care. What do we get? I like when you go because then it makes me remember my skills. You got the skills, brother. What do we have? Jokes.

Oh. the skills brother um what do we have um jokes oh uh i have a lot of ideas that are loose buddy me too it's all loose all all the ones i was working on i got to work or dropped them same what do you what do you got so i got i got some real shit here you want to try some shit let's try some shit let's fucking run all right let's run some poop so i'm thinking about uh it's weird how like this is gonna get dark but america obviously we had slaves but a lot of countries had slaves but i feel like they don't talk about it as much and we talk about how bad slavery is but from horrible things can can come a great thing we got the pyramids from slavery yeah so like yes slavery is bad but we got the pyramids yeah it's kind of like abusive fathers sure they're horrible but we get porn stars and comedians that's all i have well there's a great it's funny there's a

great scene and uh pull up the exact quote from the third man uh where he says uh it's just a cuckoo clock quote from uh the third man cause it's yours is like the comedic version of this that's why I like it

pull up just pull up the quote I'm sure you can find the quote right is that Orson Welles yeah oh boy it's good shit you get it

no that's not it the cuckoo clock one. Cuckoo clock quote. See what else I got here. And that will work on the joke, but I just want to pull that up for me. All right. While you're looking, the gist of it is, oh, yeah. Wait, is this it?

Yeah, here we go. All right. After all, it's not that awful. You know what the fellow said in Italy for 30 years under the B borgias they had warfare terror murder and bloodshed but they produced michelangelo leonardo da vinci and the renaissance in switzerland they had brotherly love they have 500 years of democracy and peace and what did that produce the cuckoo clock and the best part of this is not even true the cuckoo clock was made in germany but orson welles riffed that line and the direct

and there's like before the internet where they could just fact check that so and the director was like that's fucking brilliant what a great riff to just say that line he wrote that i'm reading the book and it's just full of those lines it's so funny he's like this irishman over here what's he gonna do you know it's great but that's like the version it's like yeah from terror comes yes good good stuff. So, yeah, I think there's something about like, I mean, porn stars are, yeah, you have another joke like about like, I don't want to know how it's made, right? The porn stars. Oh, yeah.

Brewery. Yeah. We got to go to a brewery. And I'm like, I don't, he's like, you can see how beer is made. I don't care. I don't want to see how. I don't want to go to a broken home. That was it.

Yeah. Mark Norman. Oh, yeah. Comedy. And then that's my. So. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. Mark Norman. Oh, yeah. Comedy. And then that's my... So, okay, here we go. Yeah. So, from bad can come good.

From bad can come good. And the stripper or porn star and comedian was supposed to be some comedic relief on this dark thing. Like, from horrible fathers or whatever, can come good. Yeah, there needs to be a sacrifice somewhere. Yeah, right. It's like you show me someone who came from a good home. I'll show you a guy who's a fucking accountant. Yeah, exactly.

He's boring as shit. Because what's that old quote? Like hard times make strong men, and then strong men make weak times, which makes weak men something like that there you go yeah so there's got there's some truth to this but it's just not ha ha jim caviezel movie makes hard men that's the quote yeah there you go hard times create strong men strong make men create good times good times create weak men and weak men create hard time this is fucking nice this is nice.

Boy, that's a great quote. But yeah. That's a good quote. Michael Hoff. Hoff. All right. I'll play with it. There's something there.

I don't know where to go. I don't know. It's something that... I like the idea of like... It's... It's something about the pyramids too. It's like... You built these...

It is funny to compare the pyramids to porn because like no family's like come on let's go see the porn oh yeah good point you know what i mean we're all watching it just not as a family yeah just not as a family yeah but sometimes you're watching on the porn a family that's true that is true all right and something there though yeah okay what do you got let's see what we got we got a few ideas i got another one that's needs your help um i think there's something here did i try this one on you guys already i don't know i say i'm seeing a girl she accused me so you don't listen i say why listen but i don't retain there's a difference i'm taking it in there's just a finite amount of space in my mind,

and I can either keep a shitload of movie quotes or a story of yours about going to the nail salon. Yeah. Which one do you think I'm going to choose? Face Off is a fucking good movie. Yeah. It is, by the way. It was on TV the other day.

Fucking holds up. You have to watch it. Woo, you good looking. It's peak Nicolas Cage. And Travoltata they're just both off the fucking rocker that's true all right hold on this is good there's something here right you do listen you just hold on you just don't hold on i do part i do the first part i just don't you want me to do more yeah it's like uh it's like saying like yeah it's like well maybe it's something like with school where you go i'll read the book but is there going to be a test right you know because if there's a test i'll retain it but if not i'll just read the book and move on yeah is this is

this gonna i also think it's like microsoft word like you can type stuff in but you can't save oh yeah the hard drive's full the hard drive's full i think the drive's full. I think the test is better, though. I think that's funny. That was always a big thing. Is there going to be a test on this? Because if the teacher said no, you're just like, all right, well, I don't have to pay attention, really. Or I don't have to save this or listen too hard. But, yeah, that's good.

Is there a test? It's so true. Because you do listen. I listen. It's just hard to hold it all in. I don't hold it in. And also, what am I going to hold it in for? don't hold it in and also what am i gonna hold it in for your story about the nail salon that's not gonna come up in four years on a podcast

i forget i'm really bad at remembering friends names uh that's tough you ever seen someone they're like you don't remember my friend i'm like you got so many friends i know i got like four friends yeah yeah and i'll never see them again guys no guys ever like you don't remember gary oh maybe this could be funny maybe like you get into a shipwreck or something crazy happens with your lady and she's like you don't know how to do this and you're like well i know about the nail salon right that i still got you know i remember cheryl yeah yeah that's good pedicure you had and how you pay overpaid or whatever the hell yeah you don't want to retain i'm doing you a favor by not retaining this because i'm trying to Remember that pedicure you had and how you overpaid or whatever the hell. Yeah.

You don't want to retain. I'm doing you a favor by not retaining this because I'm trying to protect us. Yeah, there's something there. What else? I like it. I tried the NASCAR on you, right? I don't know. It's weird that NASCAR. I listened, but I didn't retain.

NASCAR comes from bootleggers. Right. You know, like these guys would uh sell this they would sell their booze on the road and like soup up their cars so they could get away from cops when they saw him selling it i think you might have texted me that this sounds familiar maybe i texted to you months ago i've been sitting on this bit for this premise for years but uh i thought how weird that a giant sport in america came from illegal activity. I wonder if any other illegal activity came up with a sport.

Like, was some guy fucking a dude's wife and the husband came home and he cocks a shotgun so the guy jumps out a window, starts running, gets on a bike, runs through a lake, and he's like, triathlon. That's very clever.

But it doesn't, it gets like a... That's also why we start a race with a shotgun. Oh, maybe that's it. Or a gun. A pistol. Yeah, a pistol. Oh, maybe that's it. Or a gun. Yeah, a pistol. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's something there for sure. And then I thought about baseball, like you steal a base and all that,

but that's too close to that racist black joke about basketball. You know that one? They shoot, they steal. No wonder they're good at that. That's an old racist joke. Oh, jeez. But I think we brought that up once and we were hammered. Oh, yeah, well, the structure works. It's just not yeah it's just racist it's just racist right michael richards would kill

with that shit i think i thought about uh car um cock fighting uh parkour parkour kind of seems like a gay what is parkour again that's where you jump from building to building which feels like a like a burglar would do or then gay porn i thought so it's things that are illegal that have become sports i'm trying to think of other yeah because being gay used to be illegal what are some weird sports uh uh maybe karate was like just being like a wife beater or something hold on yeah there's a problem is there's no like intersex fighting yeah that would be perfect weird sports wife carrying quidditch wife snorkeling surfing this one's great about comedies you actually you kind of learn more because you have to open up all these

other weird avenues skin kicking are. Are you into cycle hockey? Whoa. Ultimate frisbee. Sorbing. Underwater rugby. Whoa. Cycle ball. Ferret legging.

What the fuck is that? But yeah, I just got to find the perfect sport. Did you never try this on stage? I did, and it would get like a, like, oh, that's cute. It's clever, right? on stage? I did, and it would get like a, huh. Like, oh, that's cute. It's clever, right? It's clever, but not funny. It's more like, hmm, yeah, he runs.

Because you can see it coming. You're like, I already, I spelled it all out. Say the setup one more time. I was looking at a bootlegging, and it turned into NASCAR. Isn't that weird? This illegal activity led to a major American sport. Say again how it turned into NASCAR, though, because maybe that's got to be something to do with it i always say like i drink a lot you know you know drinking

was we had prohibition and uh these guys would drive around selling booze out of their car like in the country and it turned into a race and they would soup up their cars to to get away from police and then they would say oh let's race let's see who's got a faster car and then that turned into nascar that's so interesting. It's fascinating. I love an interesting premise. And then the joke is funny. Those are the best jokes to me. Yeah.

But. Because maybe it needs to be explained more. Because it's like, even for me, I'm like, oh, I didn't get how. Maybe it's too much of a jump. Right. Maybe that's it. Because then you say, I wonder what else, what other sports started from illegal activities.

What's a sport with shooting? Because isn't there a sport where you ski, you shoot a gun, and then you swim or something? But it might be better if it's a basic sport. Okay. It could be maybe where the guy runs away and the other guy, he's fucking his wife, and the guy chases him and he tackles him. Okay. Like maybe it could be maybe with the guys runs away and the other guy he's fucking his wife the guy chases him and he tackles him. Yeah.

And it's like something like maybe like football. Yeah. It might be that it's too obscure like triathlon. Right. Right.

Yeah. Maybe it should be simpler. NASCAR. It's tough. I wonder if also a lot of people don't consider NASCAR like a basic sport.

They consider it like racing. I know. Right. I wonder what's missing lot of people don't consider NASCAR like a basic sport. They consider it like racing. Right. I wonder what's missing from it. Yeah, I think it needs to be simpler. I think you're right. Football's not bad. Because I think it's a lot at once. You're like giving us a fact.

Yes, yes. So I think maybe it has to be slowed down. Good point. Football is interesting. Football. I'm thinking the big sport. I mean, I think like hockey could maybe be something because there's fighting in hockey true true yeah you know maybe there's a guy in like uh in alaska yeah he had to skate away from a guy right he stopped and he started

beating the shit out of him yeah yeah that's not bad but that doesn't explain the puck yeah that's the problem is like there's holes it's like yeah that's why maybe simpler is better that's why i went with the the running and the biking and i think that's the best so far you don't have to have a another piece to it all right but i'll play with it but yeah it's that's how it became a sport through a. It's a fun premise. Through. Yeah. So you're doing something illegal. Yeah. Maybe the angle is like you were selling drugs and that became a sport.

What is that? Well, alcohol. Oh, oh, oh. So maybe there's something about like, you know. Now you sell the drugs to the athletes. Oh. I don't know. I'm just trying to fucking break i'll go the other way we're trying to break the premise down for a second interesting um yeah you uh then there's something maybe something about nascar being what if it was still drinking like wouldn't that be kind of fun if they had to drunk drive oh my god it'd be so much more fun if it was if they were still delivering booze

yeah that would maybe that's the angle maybe that's the angle that's funny if you were like which car you rooting for you're like heineken yeah yeah meanwhile the guy's hitting a nip you know while he's uh while he's shifting that's not bad that's a whole different angle yeah nascar would be so although geez think about how many crashes there would be there's already a lot of crashes but you want the you you watch it for the crashes let's be honest yeah we are the fans are yeah yeah the lady get mowed down the rubes like us are people i got to get into formula one people fucking love that shit people love it there's that netflix show everybody loves i've never watched it i gotta watch got to watch it. Yeah, here it's fun. It's all international, too. All right, all right.

Hit me, baby. Let's see what I got. I'll tell you. You're all right. What is this? Zanosis? What do you call this? Oh, Mastika.

Mastika. We're going to make a Mastika if we keep drinking this. Jeez, I have a few angles i've oh here's something about like so i have a few angles i went out to like a fine dining place not on purpose but like you know when i was in greece yeah i was like can you i was too lazy i i never made this mistake again i made a mistake of asking the restaurant i'm like what do you where should we go and they're like we made you a reservation fucking fancy place where there's like it's the type of place where they describe every meal every every uh course they're like here's the story i'm like just let me eat that and they're like hold on a sec yeah all right so like this next uh dish you're gonna eat uh it was actually

this crab was raised to be a violinist i'm like that doesn't even make sense like he was killed at his artistic peak and that's why he's so tender. And you're like, all right. And then you get the bill, and it's like $47,000. I don't know what the next part is. Something has to be something like, I feel like keep it going. Right. I mean, part of it's got to be like, have you seen the movie Finding Nemo?

This is Nemo. You know? It's got to be something crazy. You've got to keep upping it. I don't know how to keep upping it, but I had all these ideas. I tried that first part on stage and I got a laugh, but it needs more. Yeah, yeah. What if this is another way to go with it, but shouldn't we be eating animals that couldn't do anything? Why are we eating Coco the monkey who can sign?

I don't want the crab that can play a violin. Give me the homophobic venison. If you're going gonna tell me about the animal tell me he was a piece of shit like this dude this fucking cat walked out in his family he's a bad dude and you're like fuck yeah that's that also uh and this this is the tag i tried last night and this hit where i say you know uh i was thinking about it like i eat animals all the time and i like animals but i still eat them i was thinking like if you if you like uh i would eat humans probably i hate humans yeah especially if you describe the type of human i was eating at like fine dining style where you're like this next man

you're about to eat he's uh he's from tampa he's got a chin strap beard he uh he pairs nicely with a mountain dew oh that's great that got a pop that was that was a new one last night baby that's great i love that that's a whole another so i think that could connect yeah definitely connect i'll tell you pairs with a mountain dew that's killer yeah why don't we eat humans yeah i mean we know why but let's be real i mean humans for the most part this whatever what if this podcast starts a genocide? No, I mean, I think about it all the time. Humans are probably... Every once in a while I see a dude, I'm like, I bet he would be delicious.

Oh, yeah. And then you wonder, do the ethnicities taste like the ethnic food? Of course. Although Tosh had that bit. Oh, he did? What, like you eat a Chinese guy, you're hungry 30 minutes later?

Yeah, yeah. That was Tosh. But it would be fun if you got their powers. Like if you ate a chinese guy and you're like i'm smarter oh my god it's brain food you know or yeah you eat a mexican guy and all of a sudden you're like man i'm working hard that would be fun if you got their stereotype i eat another jew i'm just even more frugal wow this is crazy you're your wife's like hey we should go get dinner now you're like i better eat a black guy or if you got a big game coming up all right what do you got a big game yeah you want to play better i got a lot of big games got a lot of big games coming up. Okay, here we go. Let's see.

This is stupid. Okay, that's no good. I try to do a thing about how you never see incense at, like, a smart place. You know, I'm sure they're not burning incense at the Tesla factory. You know, it's always, like, at a head a head shop or like a guy selling shit on the sidewalk. He's got hookah or incense. It's never at like, you know, Amazon plant. Oh, yeah.

No, it's always like covering up BO or something. Yeah. Yeah. The big pharma, you know, where they're making Pfizer. I don't think they're blazing a hookah. I'm sorry. Incense. Yeah.

What's like a classic incense smell? Like's like a patchouli patchouli yeah yeah i feel like yeah maybe that's the line like you're not gonna walk into like uh you're not gonna walk into like a uh the brain trusted apple and yeah is that patchouli yeah exactly brain trusted apples perfect that was just a dumb idea but uh is this anything oh boy uh okay hold on honk honk so i heard a bunch of old guys like like 50 year old guys they were talking to these young guys at a bar and they're like man you kids got it made you got these dating apps you're swiping left swipe it right hook it up on tinder back in my day we had to go talk to a woman it was scary you got rejected it was hard man we

didn't get laid like you guys are getting laid and i always wonder if there's an older gay guy listening like oh you had it hard uh you had to talk to a woman if i talked to the wrong guy he'd beat the shit out of me you know or i'd go under a bridge and have to blow a guy at a rest stop or something. I would kill to have a loud way of courting process. We had to literally go to a bathroom. Yeah. We had to be really. Every time we were rolling the dice. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

A woman said no to you? Yeah. You got a drink thrown in your face? I got a black eye. Yeah, that's funny. That's a funny Yeah. You got a drink thrown in your face? I got a black eye. Yeah. That's funny. That's a funny angle.

I got arrested or whatever. They're literally going under a bridge. Don't tell anybody. I'm married. You guys have been cool with this for 15 years. Yeah. 10 years in the Midwest. Yeah.

I don't know if it's enough, but it's well it might be more there too the idea of like you guys have it so easy and it's like yeah but it wasn't that hard right right i mean you would just go to a bar it was probably better i mean you like you guys have it so easy it's like you got that you talk to people yeah this is worse for them it's like yeah it's easier in a numbers game but now we have a whole generation of kids that don't know how to talk to women. That's true. Oh wow, you know how to fucking speak emoji. You sent them a fucking thumbs down.

Right, or an eggplant. But back then, too, I think women were like, I need to meet a guy. Women wanted to meet guys. Now women don't really need guys as much. Women can do their own thing. So if a guy comes up, it's almost a nuisance. People still want to meet guys. Now women don't really need guys as much. Women can do their own thing, you know? So, like, if a guy comes up, it's almost a nuisance. People still want to meet someone. You think?

Yeah. I feel like women don't really need men anymore. They got a vibrator. They're all. Well, no one needs anyone, but you still want a person. Okay. Am I right? I hope.

I hope you're right for the sake of humanity. Yeah, maybe they don't. I don't know. He's 20. Yeah, how are the social media apps? We still talk. It's not like. Yeah? right for the sake of humanity yeah maybe they don't i don't know he's 20 yeah what do you how is it how are the social media apps yeah it is normal but it's more texting though in motion interesting but like don't you think it's i feel like there's less talking like i feel like so much of it now even as someone who's like you use that at my age i think it's

like when i was younger i feel like i would you know you'd meet people at the bar you kind of warm it up at the bar now it's like you set it in motion sometimes how often are you on an app where you're talking to someone for like a while before you even meet right yeah but you need to talk to them for a while right to prove you're not a serial killer yeah which back in the day women just met serial killers how about that fucking guy in long island yeah do you see that guy oh they caught him he's like a fucking what is he like an accountant or something an architect whoa art vandele yeah yeah by the way i love you got you got fucking salacuse's shirt here like he's dead yeah he spent one he's having one day with his kid and we're like i guess that's it yeah we'll never see him again yeah this uh gilgo beach right dude he looks like pull him up he looks like

fat tucker carlson really i've never seen him look at him whoa he does look like tucker if he was floating in a river for a week he looks like midwest tucker carlson he does he looks like tucker if he just like ate cheese curds well he's huge he's a dude he's scary he's like a big dude and he would he would harass women like like he would do these creepy groups and like women would leave and he'd like find their phone numbers and shit these guys are always killing call girls too oh they love the call girls yeah he looks like tucker carls jr all right but fuddrucker carlson there we go i think they found his dna in a pizza crust so wait what happened he was killing people like in the 90s well the crazy part is no it's not the

90s it was more recent but apparently a criminologist said um rex i bet these criminologists are incredible like have you ever read that book mind hunter oh yeah it's crazy this guy dude he these people guy, dude, he, these people are, like, the whole thing is profiling. And this criminologist was like, I bet you he's a family man who's educated. And it's like, yeah, he had a wife and two kids. Whoa. And he's an architect. So he would just call a gal and she would come over and he'd kill her. No, I don't know.

How would he do it? I don't know how sex works. Oh. Yeah, he would hire them And then kill them Pick them up I guess Yeah Oh like on the street

Like a Yeah yeah This guy That's his dad Gilgo Yeah Bodies were unearthed Near remote Gilgo Beach

On Long Island South Shore More than a decade ago Isn't that crazy Wow Glad they got him Nine women A man And a toddler Were discovered Woo more than a decade ago. Isn't that crazy? Wow. Glad they got him. Nine women, a man, and a toddler were discovered. Woo!

Uh-huh. He's like, hey, I'm not gay. I'll murder you, but I ain't no homo. I'll kill women. Yeah. July 2007. Holy shit. Yeah, he's a creepy looking dude. He is. I mean mean everyone looks creepier once you know they've murdered true yeah if this guy was like a philanthropist you'd be like hey he's

nice all right well gilgo i'm glad they got him thank god for these criminologists can you marry can you imagine being married to a dude like that you're just like are you like we've all dated the woman who's like are you keeping anything from me? And you're like, no. Right. She's just nagging him. She's like, I feel like there's something you're not telling me. He's like, all right, I killed a bunch of strippers, all right?

Jesus Christ. She's like, you want to just summer at Gilgo Beach? He's like, I hate Gilgo Beach. He's like, something's up. Wow, Long Island, baby. I feel like there's something you're keeping from me. You never tell me anything. What are you thinking about?

Oh, I hate that one. I'm thinking, how do I get out of this? Every time. How are we not aware? Or what do we are aware of we know? Who wrote this shit? Yoda? We know. Who wrote this shit? Yoda? Jesus Christ.

Gilgo Beach murder that shook Long Island more than a decade in the past. How do you like that? These criminologist people, these profilers, it's so crazy. Like in that book, Mindhunter, he was so, because if you're good at this, you're so valuable. It's like being a superhero. You take a day off. You're like, people could die if I take a day off. So these guys

overworked themselves the guy in that book i think it's something douglas i forgot his name but uh he got hospitalized for exhaustion because he would overwork himself so much that he was trying to solve cases in his sleep he would try to dream about the case wow so he's like if i took a what's his name johnny d. Yeah. There you go. Dude, he's a fucking incredible guy. Interesting, this Rex guy only killed white women, which is weird because the Dahmer big controversy was like, he's killing gay black men. That's so horrible. So I'm like, does he get less sentence for killing only white? If it's going to go one way, it should go the other.

Diversity. Yeah. Yeah, they're casting the movie. They're like, can we at least cast a black stripper because we want to mix it up? I guarantee that's a conversation. But I can't wait for the movie. There will be a true. I think there already was a true crime on like, we don't know who it is.

And now, though, I'm sure, though, you know, it's so sick. You know, the second they caught this guy, Netflix, Hulu, everyone's probably fighting for the rights. Well, no writers. No writers. It's going to have to be a doc. Yeah. But it's funny. My lady's so obsessed with true crime that I'm like, hey, you heard about this Long Island thing?

She's like, come on. I've been on Rex Hellerman for 20 years. I'm like, oh, shit. She knows everybody. It's like you know basketball players. She knows the serial killers. It's weird. Well, there's these Reddit detectives, too.

It's so creepy. It's like these people who just figure out. Sleuths. just figure out sleuths yeah the sleuths yeah you ever see don't fuck with cats that was pretty cool though crazy i mean these people are insane but it was pretty damn entertaining they found a vacuum cleaner in the background of the shot and they're like what's that then they googled it then they keep going they're like it's sold at walmart and only these locations it's crazy don't fuck with cats dude you got a cat i got a cat and i love that cat if somebody put that thing in a

plastic bag i'd i'd shit people that kill animals there's like i it's so weird because look we're just saying we eat animals we're hypocrites but there's something about a fucking a cat yeah but then how shallow are we that we're like you killed a cat but then i'm just like this is a good burger yeah it's true well that cat was racist He walked out on his kids. That's why I don't knock bestiality that much. Not until you try it. Yeah. Don't knock it until you try it. We're killing them eating.

They're fucking them. Who's worse? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. If I was a goat, I'd want to get plowed every now and then, I'm sure. Fuck a goat? I wouldn't, but somebody's doing it. Oh, people are doing it it there's cow tipping and

there's cow licking yeah and i wonder if there's a guy a goat out there going you're not getting fucked oh you're missing out no i'm free range i'm living in vermont i feel like there's more goats who are like this guy won't stop fucking me this is horrible maybe but some goats are into it i guarantee it they're probably making more milk and hanging out. This is the fancy fine dining. This is the good goat's milk. Yes. This goat got raped by his owner for years. It's desperation goat milk.

Oh, yeah. It's really good milk. Remember that old George Carlin joke? You always fuck a goat on a cliff because they push back. That's Carlin's. Carlin carlin god that guy had rain well he could do every discipline he could do one liner he could do dark he could do dirty he could do commentary he never went personal though no but i i love that i love that i love a little mystique why not me and stavros had a long talk about this on mushrooms by the way but he was like you don't go personal you think you'll ever go personal i'm like i don't want to i have no

desire to he's like yeah but that's really like the pinnacle i'm like why is that the pinnacle hedberg uh carlin all these guys then i went seinfeld yeah these are the killer comics norm well he had his dad's death in there a little bit a little bit but what i mean yeah what is what is i think a lot of people think that's the the top like i think confessional shit and like stav does it in a jokey way but i think some people maybe it's a new thing to unlock at some point but i also think like you do what you do like there's that's what i said and i just don't find me interesting like i don't have the motivation to write a ton about me well you also have that thing where you're like if you don't get a laugh instantly you panic yes it's truly on stage and that's that's a good quality to have but also maybe that holds you back from going super personal maybe because for that

personal shit you will have to deal with the silence right but you have to deal with the silence anyway when you work on a new hour that's true that's true but i i don't know i mean i think you will at some point i think you're gonna have to you're gonna run out of shit that like look what we were talking about yesterday you run out of you were texting me yesterday you're like man we've written a lot of jokes in our life and i'm like yeah you're gonna run out of shit i know you you might have to at a certain point carlin's the rare one where he did like 18 hours and still but then he has bits where he's like have you noticed mice don't have shoulders and you're like this guy's got a crazy mind. Yeah, that's true. He's got a great mind. Also, the cocaine didn't hurt either.

Maybe we just, instead of going personal, we just pick up a harder drug habit. Hey, Mulaney did it. Yeah. Worked for him. Yeah. Now that was personal, his last hour. Well, I think, you know, it does, it's weird.

I've always said like it gets you some sort of street cred in certain circles where it's like the way rappers said like it gets you some sort of street cred in certain circles where it's like the way rappers are like i'm tough a comic being mentally ill is almost like street cred for comedians that's our thing so if you go personal with that people seem to like it but i to me it doesn't matter like the genre of comedy you're doing as long as it's interesting and funny you know i think if i was huge like we were like dave chappelle level i would go personal because they already know you and they know so much about you that it would it would resonate but i feel like if i go up a not famous guy they're like i don't care who i

i've seen comics do that where they're like so i'm in town for this show and the crowd's like who the fuck are you yeah who the hell are you and tell me a joke like they're up there with like their foot leaned up so you know, I'm just filming this show. And they're just like, we don't know who you are. Exactly. And we don't care. And a lot of these comics go up and they're like, man, I had a bad day. I'm going to kind of unload that on you guys.

And the crowd's like, what? The therapy comic? Yeah, I hate that shit. It's so self-indulgent and selfish. These are paying customers. And those are the same comics that Brad's like, I don't to therapy i'm like well of course not you just unloaded on the fucking crowd at the underground lounge yeah and got paid to do it yeah yeah no i'm i'm with you so i don't i guess i saw those guys coming up and i was like i don't want to be that i want to

get laughs but then there's guys that find ways to combine it like you got guys like mark maron who like do that shit but there's punch lines like i do think there's a way to be that personal but i know what you mean like i think we would watch like we bonded over this where we would see comics who would go for long stretches with uh silences and they would kind of tell you about their day yes it's like it's a dangerous thing to love the sound of your voice and think you're interesting yes agreed and it you know it's a detriment to to the set i mean the crowd is like what the fuck i know it's like there's agreement that we're gonna go up here and make you laugh why are you like venting it's weird i completely agree so i think i think you saw that early on and i did and we bonded over but

um but like when richard prior goes up and he goes, I lit my hair on fire. I shot my car. That was all in the news. So it was like, oh, he's talking about it. Like that was huge. But there's people who also just disclose. I mean, like Doug Smith told that incredible story. That's a good point.

You told an interesting story about fucking your teacher on Ari's thing. Oh, yeah. There's times you go personal. I would never write it off for you and i think with your style like you are punchy so if you tell a long personal story you will make sure that it's got the necessary laughs in it yeah i think for me it's just i'm not motivated to write about me yeah you know that's fair i'm like oh this nascar thing that i'm like oh i want to figure that out you know'm all excited about it. But then if somebody's like, so you got molested in summer camp?

I'm like, yeah, that's no good. To me, I don't get excited about it. So I don't want to write about it, even if I should. I know what you mean. I'd rather talk about summer camp or something. But if something happens to me and it's bad, I can't wait to write a bit about it. Because I'm like, that will give me, that'll help. Oh, yeah, that's true. So I guess that's not super personal, but that's an experience.

Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not great at that. Really? Yeah. I write about things or commentate on society or something. But that's personal. Is it?

That's your view. All right. Well, I'll take it. I mean, you're not being like my father never loved me, but that doesn't mean it's not on some level personal right right i agree this is how i feel about this is personal yes yeah that's i mean i completely agree that's kind of how i bond usually with people in life right it's like my views and my and things that interest me yeah rather than like here's something that happened to me as a child. Yeah, exactly. So I just I just think that's kind of where, you know, your stand up goes.

Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah. Like, you know, some people had a crazy flight and you tell them about it in the green room. Like, you've got to talk about that. I'm like, that's a flight. I don't know. That's my opener right now. I have a crazy flight story. Oh, OK. Yeah. Well, you can do it. A lot of punchlines. And I mean, but it's like I can't do it. I just don't. I'm like, no right now. I have a crazy flight story. Oh, okay. Well, you can do it. It's got a lot of punchlines in it, but it's like that's my opener. I can't do it. I'm like, no one's going to care about my flight. Well, you make them care. To me, it's like I want to make my complaining have so many punchlines

that a room full of people is on board. Yeah, yeah. I just am motivated. Well, look, a lot of times you don't just be like, here's the bit. But sometimes when I'm doing a long set, I just get bored with the jokes and I try something new. And then it gives you that nugget of hope. Of course. And you're like, I'm going to keep going.

And sometimes it's usually something that happened. Because how many, look, I mean, watching the news and something, that's something that happened. It's just, it depends where or when it happened. But it's like, you know, you take the there's no recipe for this shit. But we just follow the recipe. Yeah. You know what I mean? We don't know where the jokes come from.

That's true. So you just live and you're like, I'll take that. Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's exactly right. There's that Tom Waits story, I think, where he's like, you know, you don't know when inspiration is going to come to you. Yeah. So, you know, he's he's driving. He doesn't have his pen. And he's like you know you don't know when inspiration's gonna come to you yeah so

you know he's he's driving he doesn't have his pen and he's like god damn an inspiration can't you see i'm driving right now it's like that hedberg joke yeah i think it's something funny i write it down depends too far away i convinced myself it wasn't funny yeah something like that great bit yeah great bit not personal but it is i guess it is because he thought of a funny bit he didn't write it down it's personal and the cadence is personal and you're like who are we to say that's not personal if that you hear a joke you're like that's like a hedberg joke that means he was personal i agree that's my argument that's where i disagree but yeah uh you know but i love stav's comedy and and i respect him but i just think know. Yeah, just let people do what they do.

But that doesn't mean there aren't going to be chapters in our careers where what we do changes. You know, like it'd be cool to see you do an hour of stories. Yeah. You know. Seems boring, doesn't it? To you right now it seems boring. But maybe in 10 years like doing the same thing over and over again might get boring yeah that's true so what i mean like maybe that's a way you

you get yourself excited right right i mean like i love you know martin scorsese but if you made the same fucking movie over and ago right i mean it has that's what i mean it's like yeah you got a point that's why milaney's thing was such a shock because it was a style change why do you love the cone brothers range yeah they got range i mean that's not the only reason you love them but man they've made some diverse shit all right i'm gonna go on improv do an improv mix it up improv comedy no but all right we should we should wrap this up but plug some dates man i i got a special out check it out on a big streaming platform that uh you know rhymes with with uh metflix yeah big n word and uh big dates you don't say to i'm going to europe we're coming to berlin

lisbon copenhagen dublin scotland you name it But right now, I'm all over the road with a big theater tour in L.A. and Denver and all these great places. MarkNormanComedy.com. Check it out. And come on by. Working on new stuff and a lot of personal. What do we have? We have Providence, Rhode Island, Northampton, Burlington, Vermont, Albany, Bethlehem, PA, York, PA, Toronto. That's a big venue. Come out, guys.

Chicago, motherfucking theater. Phoenix, Arizona, stand up live. Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, and the biggie, New York, motherfucking city. The theater at MSG. Tickets now, baby. Samorelle.com slash shows. Hell yeah. Thanks.

Get some Bodega Cat. Get a hat. Get a shirt. If you want to help us, we're still working on New York legalization. I feel like we're fucking close, but who knows? I get guys hitting me up all the time. I just send them to Chris. I don't know if that's doing anything, but yeah, help us out.

Throw us a bone. Talk to the governor. Mayor Adamsams what are you doing i'll tell you you're all right and uh yeah we'll see you all in hell thanks a lot you're all right you're all right thank you sunday's the day for my next bender i've had a little too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking cops And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like the cops coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her

And I get down in the same way We might be true