We Might Be Drunk - Ep 14: Margarita and Negroni

Episode Date: March 15, 2021

Mark and Sam drink Margaritas and Negronis...we had bad wifi service for the first 6 minutes or so but after that, it's smooth sailing. Today's episode is brought to you by..... Bluechew! Visit www.BlueChew.com and get your first shipment FREE when use our special promo code DRUNK & MyBookie.ag! Sign up today at www.MyBookie.ag and use promo code DRUNK to secure a deposit bonus up to $1000!

One more drink, one more drink You know in the morning for sure we gon' stink One more round, one more round It's 5 a.m., you pricks, the barkeep frowned This is what we do, catch up for a few We'll riff and talk some shit and then we'll sleep till two. Talk some

shit and then we'll sleep till two. We got tonight, babe. So why don't you stay? You're in a Seeger drinking mode.

Yeah, hell yeah. Love the Silver Bullet band. You always won every time you placed a bet. Bob Seeger rules, man. Hollywood nights, come on. Oh, like a rock. I mean, he's one of those guys you feel him. You got the windows down and you're driving with the night air going through the windows.

Oh, there's nothing better than Seeger. Is there a better road song than Turn the Page? Oh, yeah. It's heavy duty. It's like man emotion. As a guy, you're like, I can deal with this. I don't want fucking boys to men. I want something that's a little masculine, at least.

It's so masculine and it's like you're right it's like feelings that were okay feeling yeah yeah exactly i mean shit those lyrics are like when you're driving 15 hours you know it's like it's like this is we can complain about this it's definitely like you know it's cool. He's like, ah, the hooker died. I had to figure it out, put her in the trunk. Yeah, it's like masculine, sad shit you're allowed to be cool with. But how many times in college where I got a girl over and she's like, I better go home. It's getting late.

I'm like, we got tonight, babe. Why don't you stay? And she's like, all right. Like, I might never see you again, babe. Why don't you stay? And she's like, all right. I might never see you again, sister. It's romantic, yet so unromantic. Right, right. I think the honesty makes it. You're like, hey, I'm being honest.

Yeah. He's not being like, I love you. He's being like, we got tonight. Yes, yes. We'll never last. There's nothing between us. But we're here tonight. Let's make love. Let's make it happen. You're not. We'll never last. There's nothing between us, but we're here tonight. Let's make love. Let's make it happen. You're not much of a looker.

I don't care for your personality skills, but we're here, and we're giving it our best shot. There you go. We got tonight. To tonight. To the... To tonight! What are you drinking? Well, I was just at this club. You're in Texas. This club. Yeah, I was just at this club.

You're in Texas. Yeah, I'm in Tejas. I got a good riff off on the audience. I said, wearing a mask in Texas is like wearing a helmet at a skate park. You have to decide, do I want to be healthy or get called a pussy? That's perfect. This is a to-go cup. They wouldn't let me leave with a real cup, so they gave me this fucking special needs kids cup.

You should be wearing a helmet with that one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, margarita on the rocks. A little salt. Love a margarita, man. That's a classic. I like a salt rim, too. You know, there's nothing better than a chili salt rim, dude. Ooh, good call.

Good call. So true. I mean, a frozen margarita, I feel like a weirdo drinking a slushie. Give me the rocks. Give me the salt. And go easy on the syrup. Slushies are for rookies, man. Yeah, yeah. Come come on What is that?

Or anything blue No offense, black people I know you love the blue drinks I used to bartend a little and it was always Blue Bayous and whatnots And electric lemonade Yeah, exactly Horrible sex move, by the way

The electric lemonade But yeah, yeah Yeah, exactly. Horrible sex move, by the way. The electric lemonade. But yeah, yeah. That's where you pee on somebody while tasing them. I don't know. But yeah, any drink with slushy or frozen, like a pina colada is not bad, but you got to be on the beach. Yeah, I just prefer, if I can have it like in this form, I'm doing it i if i can have the easier way it's it's for a kid it's a child move a daiquiri i agree ah come on when you're i guess if you're on the beach and you're and you're in vacation i'm not going to

give you a hard time for it but i remember a tell once i saw a tell on stage and the guy was drinking a daiquiri, and it looks at him and goes, tough day. Then in his special, some guy knocks over a daiquiri, and it's this red, rainbow-y drink, and he goes, somewhere a clown just died. Which is the weirdest obscure reference, but somehow it worked. It's also like, that guy's so good,

he's got multiple daiquiri jokes, just locked and loaded. That's an alcoholic or a great comic. Either way, it fits. I'm doing Negronis again, man. I'm back on the Negron train. And you know what? I figured I'd just shake it on the pod, get a little shake action going there.

Love it. Like a real drunk. I had a really good drink at this. I was doing a show at a Brazilian restaurant. And yeah, it was really fun. And she made me this drink. It was like a spicy grapefruit drink. And I'm like, hey man, it's not my go-to, but when in Rome, she said, this is what I recommend.

And it was fucking lovely. I loved it. Oh, what, you got a name? I don't know what the name was. She said it quickly and she was very attractive name? I don't know what the name was. She said it quickly, and she was very attractive, so I didn't catch the name. She was one of those, like, she was so attractive that, but she was

wearing the mask, so really, like, I just know that she has great eyes. Right, right, exactly. And a nice bridge. Oh, I love a bridge. Sometimes the mask off will ruin a lady. Like, there was this woman in Jersey once who ran this comedy club, I love a bridge Sometimes the mask off will ruin a lady There was this woman in Jersey once Who ran this comedy club, I'm not going to say who it was

And she had these beautiful eyes and pretty hair And she took the mask off and it was like It was terrifying It was a two-face, she had crazy teeth She had acne around the lips A little bit of a stache She should be wearing that mask In 2028

You hope that was You hope that was acne around the lips Mark I don't know if there's just acne around the lips Also It does worry me a little bit like the You just gotta take a chance It's weird It's weird that like meeting someone

In person is now more risky Than meeting someone on a dating app. Oh, good point. Good point. You know what I mean? Like you lied to me. Like I just assumed you were hotter. Yeah.

Yes, exactly. It's in real time. Your eyes were writing a check. Your lips couldn't cash. This is terrible. So guys, we had a little bit of a Wi-Fi issue. I think we're good again. We're sorry about that.

I think we were talking about women with masks and how it is more risky to meet people in person than it is on dating apps Because on dating apps, they're going to look more like the picture than they do, you know, half-faced Ah, good point, good point, yeah, yeah The mask helps a lot of people, I mean, there's some bad lippage out there Some guys have a double chin, so they go low with the mask A cleft palate, maybe, or a herpes You know, there's they go low with the mask a cleft palate maybe or a herpy you know there's there's a couple perks to the mask bad breath people are winning if you have bad yeah but they're suffering their bad breath with that mask but if you have great eyes you're you're winning

life dude i was insecure about my eyebrows growing up so if i got like a big pair of aviators i was feeling great about myself isn't that fascinating So if I got like a big pair of aviators, I was feeling great about myself. Isn't that fascinating? Like everybody's got their own insecurities. And you'd be shocked what people like, oh, that's why you wear turtlenecks? Because you hate your neck? Like you'd never know. Yeah, for sure.

There you go. Yeah, man. No, we all got our shit. I mean, that's, you you know was there something you were insecure about oh my well i got weird ears my ears are connected uh i had horrible teeth growing up i had braces for six years i had a gas six years six years my whole high school was braces it was it was a nightmare damn i never would have guessed that they look fine Yeah, they did a good job My whole early years, I was fat

You were not fat I was fat as hell I was chubby too Oh really? I'd say I had breasts for a period Same, same I worked them off by the time I would have enjoyed them But I had breasts

I definitely had a chubby face For sure Yes, same, same I had breasts. No, I definitely had a chubby face for sure. Yes, same, same. I had a triple chin. I had the gap. I was a bedwetter. I had the braces. I had horrible dandruff. I had dumb hair.

I was a mess. I had dandruff, dude. Curly, is there something about, oh, God, yeah. And head and shoulders does nothing for me. Nothing? Selsun Blue does help. Selsun Blue's not bad. I used to do some shit called T-Gel,

which is like medical. And that did a little. You remember that old commercial, Selsun Blue, where it's like the baseball player and it's the third base coach, I think, and he just keeps scratching? He just keeps scratching?

He thinks he's giving them a sign? That was a pretty good ad. That's not bad. That's not bad. That's just me sounding old. That's when advertisers had fucking balls. giving them a sign that was a pretty good ad that's not bad that's not bad that's that's me sounding old that's when advertisers had fucking balls i remember unsh remember sure sure sure unshue unshue unsure and they had the bo oh i remember the like uh it was old spice or something but it was a guy who would just like he's on the pga tour or something just he cheers yes i want everyone collapses right that's fun stuff that's not bad yeah they would be like

that's offensive to people with with bad body odor right right they can't help it it's like oh shut the fuck up we all have bad body odor you gotta put the deodorant on god damn it but yeah thank god women are nice about it. Women are nice. Where like, if you smell like, oh, you might need, you might need a little. Yeah.

Women are great. And thank God for ladies, because if they got BO, you just assume she's homeless or, or, or on drugs. But if a guy has BO, it's like,

ah, he's working hard or he skipped a shower day. Yeah. It's a bit of a double. I didn't go to the gym. You must have been in the gym. I wasn't. Yeah, you hit the gym. I didn't go to the gym. You must have been in the gym. I wasn't. I wasn't in the gym.

And I'll go so far as I've heard a few gals say they don't mind a little BO. Yeah, I think people, like, on a primal level, maybe. Yes. The natural scent, you get, like, a little. But I like, the same goes, I like when women, you know, like, I like when they smell, like, something nice. But I also, when you get that real smell,'s kind of hot oh yeah yeah i don't mind a like if the vagina schumer used to always say when the vagina smells like soup that's when you know it's the real deal and i completely agree got a good clam chowder going a nice little that's what that's what they want to hear You're like, lentil? Alright, I'm down Split pea?

Wow, a vagina really is a split pea That's fucking well done We really nailed it Yeah, man, I do like a natural scent There's something about a natural scent that is pretty hot Hey, we're all animals at the end We can fight it all day long With our cummerbunds and tennis shoes And condominiums But we're all animals at the end. We can fight it all day long with our cumber buns and tennis shoes and condominiums, but we're animals, baby.

We are animals. You see dogs sniffing other dogs' butt and you laugh, but then you're like, I'm looking at the person walking the dog's butt. We're all doing the same shit. We're doing the same shit, and a dog's ass is nothing but information. A dog's ass is like a Tinder profile. It's like a file cabinet Of what's he eating or what's she eating Where's she been, what is she like

Is she sick, is she healthy It really is It's interesting It's cool that dogs can just sniff a butt And that's their move Because we have to do so much I know, to get to the ass sniffing It takes a couple days it

takes a while yeah yeah dog get right in there you know but animals are very problematic when you break them down i mean the violence the rape the the gender roles animals are still going with gender roles oh tell me my fucking corgi just got me too it's terrible it's uh well you're right the animal rape it's like it's insane that we don't even think about it we're like that's that there's no consent no no it's true and like they'll they'll fuck their own kids sometimes or they eat their own kids crazy yeah yeah so fucking are you watching the woody allen doc at or not? I can't do it I can't either It's so mean to everybody You know we did it

So why do I want to see it? Right, right And I've just heard horrible things about her How she's twisted and all this shit So I can't watch Isn't it weird that HBO Don't they still stream as movies? Probably

You can't deny those movies. Look, if Roethlisberger makes a touchdown, he's still got the points. Yeah, but if Roethlisberger molested a daughter, it's fucking bad. Well, is it molesting if she marries him? I feel like, look, it's weird. No, but that's not the one he's in trouble for.

Oh. It's Dylan. It's not feel like look, it's weird. No, but that's not the one he's in trouble for. Oh. It's Dylan. It's not. I mean, the Sunni. And by the way, the Sunni defense is not a great defense. Look, it's definitely weird. You know, I hate my family, so I don't understand it, but yeah. The whole thing sucks.

I don't like that shit. Like, I never watched the Michael Jackson doc. I did. It's rough In both cases Best case scenario He just wanted to have sleepovers with kids Yeah Which is not great Not great

But I don't know it's just weird that people are like Hey you made a pedophile joke I'm like you watched that movie with popcorn And like your friends Isn't that weird Isn't it amazing like just how we consume This content

Like there'll be a true crime And she was never seen again I'm stuffing my face with goobers That's fucking horrible Yeah exactly Ted Bundy's like He's got more Netflix specials than Bill Burr. I mean, he's all over the place. Anybody loves it.

He's got a five-parter, yeah. What's that? Five-parter, yeah. And all the girls are like, he's so cute. He's so cute. I'm like, what the fuck's going on? Well, you know, it's crazy because Woody Allen did, you know, it's like he wrote a book. And it's just basically about his childhood

in Brooklyn but which is like if Sandusky wrote a book only about football we were like cool there's other shit we'd like to hear about right right we'd like to hear it from your side because all he writes is like a very brief like this is bullshit this is not true and then there's like behavioral psychiatrists on the other side we We're like, this is not looking good. Yeah. Do you know Wayne Fetterman's Woody Allen joke? It's one of the best jokes. No, hit me.

I love Fetterman. I love Fetterman. He goes, Woody Allen's my hero. All these years and still married to the same daughter. That's great. That's a great little misdirect. Great clean pedophilia joke, basically. Let me go back to the margarita for one second.

Sure. The slushie. Do you ever get a brain freeze? I always hear people go, oh, I got a brain freeze. What is that? I've never had one in my life. Oh, it's literally what it sounds like. It's like a headache.

You're just like, ah, it goes away. It's like you never get it from like. I've never had one in my life oh you it's literally what it sounds like you just it's like a headache it's like a you're just like ah it goes away and it's like you never get it from like i've never gotten it i guess when you're a kid you get it from ice cream and stuff yeah i think you're just downing it too quickly and it's cold it's talk about a fucking first world problem ah right right yeah i don't know of anyone yeah i mean anyone I do love a margarita I do love any of those Like tequila based cocktails And I love Margaritas are just the options You could just throw any fruit in there

That's true Watermelon, mango I like a spicy mango one That's my go to If I'm doing a margarita somewhere There's even a jalapeno margarita Which is also delightful What's better than jalapeno and tequila?

It's great You get the little kick of the tequila A little kick of the spice Everybody wins And you get a real spicy butthole the next day You really feel it See, I drink a lot of coffee So when you combine that I like hot sauce on my food.

Then you combine then you combine the spicy cocktail. You're like, oh, you're fucking you're just like you're not going to be able to do you can't travel far from home. No, no, no. And your dog is going to smell it when he sniffs your butt. Thank God dogs can't drink That'd be a whole different butt sniff That would be fucking great though If your dog could just get fucking

Did you ever have the friend who would like blow weed on their dog? Yeah I hate it I felt so bad for the dog Speaking of consent Your dog doesn't want to be high right now Don't turn your fucking dog into a loser too man So true and your dog's paranoid He's like is that the mailman

What the fuck ah he's freaking out I mean a dog The dog's looking at him like do you even like me dude Do you even fucking like me Right right like I gotta stop chasing that cat I'm a dick But hey you mentioned Brazilian I wanted to get this joke in

Best thing about a Brazilian restaurant No pubes Alright I can't put pubes in the food Because they don't have any Brazilian wax That's a nice little throw away right there I like that I'll tweet it tomorrow You go to Brazil that's your fucking opener

Yes Alright I gotta get on my agent book me something What do they call it in Brazil when you get a pussy waxing? They call it a wax. Just a wax. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. It's like Chinese food in China.

It's just food. Yeah. I wonder what the heck. It's a different type of wax museum there. Just figurines made of hair. That's funny I never got the wax museum Yeah it's not for me

It's just kind of like It's a tourist trap Here's the one thing I like about the wax museum When the celebrity Will fuck with people Oh that's good A few years ago Carmelo Anthony just did it Where he's you know from the Knicks

He just kind of chilled Frozen and then scared people And like that's fucking. A few years ago, Carmelo Anthony just did it where he's, you know, from the Knicks. He just kind of chilled, frozen, and then scared people. And like, that's fucking, that makes a whole trip. That's the best. Yeah, that's amazing. And fun for the guy, too. He gets to scare the shit out of people. And then they go from biggest fear of their life to elated. It's him.

The best one is, too, it's like, there's certain people get a picture with you. Like, you think you're fooling anyone You think you're coming back They're like dude you met Saddam Hussein Holy shit Right right You met J-Lo and Brad Pitt in one outing Holy hell

Holy shit and with the same weird You know subtle backdrop That's so strange Yeah yeah and I never got any of those I went to LA when I was in high school It was a fun trip with my dad And we did the Homes for the Stars And you just get in a shitty bus

With no top on it And you're like, oh, that's Candice Bergen's garage Like, oh, great We did a similar thing with my family When I was a kid and we went to LA We did all that kind of stuff But I remember the highlight My dad somehow got us like

Tickets to watch it wasn't the actual taping But it was like a run through of Frasier What? So we watched them like working it out and it was crazy It's like Kelsey Grammer And David Hyde Pierce like going over notes and just like They're incredible live dude They're like stage guys

So they're just so fucking Like You know there were people that were like whatever Frasier first off it's a great show obviously Yeah great underrated But the acting on that show is insane Yeah these are theater pros But I saw they're bringing it back And it's like only Kelsey Grammer What The acting on that show is insane. Yeah, these are theater pros.

But I saw they're bringing it back, and it's like only Kelsey Grammer. What? They're rebooting that? They're rebooting it for Paramount+. I don't even know what that is. It's a new Viacom thing. It's like CBS All Access is now Paramount+. So they have a big library,

all the shit that Viacom's running to the ground, you know, Comedy Central, BET, MTV. now paramount plus so they have a big library all the shit that vi comes running to the ground you know comedy central bt mtv shit that defined our generation right now young people are like huh exactly exactly it's like the cosby show like this is the one of the best sitcoms ever oh that's ruined all right we don't talk about it anymore Different reason but Yeah yeah All our shit Woody Allen Bill Cosby It's all fucked A lot of people They're dropping

Cosby I mean Woody Allen's really Like the top of Like It's weird I feel like Early 2000s He was still going strong

He had like Vicky Cristina Barcelona Match point Yeah You're pulling big talent With these movies You're getting like Javier Bardem

He's gotta just go to Europe Where no one gives a fuck like polanski did yeah yeah yeah he did the pianist that was that him yeah yeah that was a that that was killer and it won best picture even after the scandal which is that that'll never happen again how funny is that the oscars gave him like a like a lifetime achievementment Award in 2003 or something, and then they're like, Kevin Hart had a homophobic tweet. I know, I know. So much has changed. This guy fucked a 14-year-old in the ass.

You need to apologize for a tweet. Meanwhile, Roman Polanski, you're a genius. You're so good. Ass-plowing a gal, a child in a hot tub. Ah, we can look past it But this guy said Polanski did some dark shit Dark, dark shit

But if we're just talking about the work Chinatown is one of the best movies of all time Great movie, great movie Masterpiece, terrible shit He's done terrible shit Like I said, you know, Ray Rice He still gets those numbers Not anymore, he's long those numbers. Not anymore.

He's long retired. Oh, is he? Shit, I got to keep up. I'm off the cards. I want to do a thing. I always want to do a bit about how he hits a woman in the elevator. And you keep seeing it on YouTube. And there'd be ads before it.

And it's like, someone's profiting off this shit? Yeah. Hey, that went viral. I mean, it's like someone's profiting off this shit yeah hey that that went viral i mean it's a hit it's it's good people like it literally yeah yeah so it sucks that that's his highlight reel now it went from like you know all these great great moments in the football to uh just an elevator six seconds in an elevator and you know how much harder it is To accomplish what he did Than to just be a fucking domestic prick You know what I mean I know

To reach what they reach And then to just be a piece of shit Like what a fucking let down I mean you could say the same for Jared Fogle I mean this guy was fat as fuck And then you know Made a name for himself losing weight and then became a millionaire

as the Subway guy and then boom. Child porn. Yeah, he lost weight and he was carrying even more weight than we ever knew. On his shoulders. And yeah, he fit a lot of kids in those pants. I knew

Subway wasn't to be trusted When I tried their avocado spread That was bullshit This ain't avocado They're really They were slumming it Subway is falling harder than Woody Allen They had a moment where it was like We're healthy and we fucking believed them

I believe Subway Hook, line, and sinker Give me the crab, give meer. Give me the crab. Give me the tuna. Give me the tofu sub. Foot long. Was there a tofu sub? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That was a fake meat or whatever you call it. I mean, look, I thought it tasted pretty good, but it was one of the things where I'm like, I just ate 12 inches of bread and steak, and you're telling me that I'm being healthy? Seinfeld had a bit about it. He's like, you're telling me that I'm being healthy? Seinfeld had a bit about it. He's like, you're telling me this guy lost 100 pounds

on an all-hoagie diet? You know, it was a great bit, but... Hoagie is the perfect word. Perfect word, perfect word. Is anyone buying this for a second? What, does he have a Duncan Hines IV? Is that next? Whatever. That's why I love Jerry,

because he's got a billion dollars, and he's furious. And you know it's fucking real. That's what I love about Seinfeld. And he's got a billion Dollars and he's furious And you know it's fucking real That's what I love about Seinfeld And he's furious about Subway Or there's cheese and a pizza crust What the hell's going on out there Everybody else is like oh the war in Iraq

And you know This and that he's like ah My pillow I was always more of a Quiznos guy man What I thought Quiznos had, man. What? I thought Quiznos had some solid, yeah, some good sandwiches. If I'm at an airport and I see a Quiznos, I'm happy.

Really? I never got into it. I mean, I guess they beat Subway in a technicality, but yeah, I never got into it. They toasted it, right? That was the big difference. Subway toasted. I just thought it was just better. I don't know why it was better. Blimpy was like the one that was like you're like the cracked out cousin you're like you know

right every every presidential candidates got that like that brother or cousin that's on like crack or something that was that was blimpy where you're like is blimpy okay right and also when you're when you're famous subway's famous for losing weight And then you're called blimpy It doesn't really look good for the PR Yeah why not lard ass While you're at it They really

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I love fast food. I just try not to eat it. But I love Taco Bell. I'm a Wendy's guy if we're talking burger. I think Wendy's is like, I mean, if we're talking spicy chicken sandwich, I don't think you could really. Wendy's is great. Wendy's is great I mean if we're talking like spicy chicken sandwich I don't think you could really Wendy's is great Wendy's is great they got that dollar menu

When I was a janitor I used to hit that dollar It was like you could mix it up Get the chili one day Get the baked potato Who else has a fucking baked potato Baked potato is good I'm thinking if there's any Yeah I love Taco Bell too

I definitely It's fucking good I remember opening for Burt Kreischer one night Years ago It's probably like nine years ago now Wow I don't know it was a long time ago But we're on the road

And we're in some bar And Burt's drunk and he just goes Someone buy Taco Bell And some guy's like I'll go And he just hands him like a hundred. And the guy just comes back with a hundred tacos. It was like a taco for a dollar. Yeah.

So we're just shit face stuffing our faces in some bar, by the way, that serve food. We're just being fucking drunks. That's not the Bert I know. Wow. That's so funny you say that because I did a. Maybe they didn't serve food. Maybe. I don't know Who knows, but I did a gig

With Ari, Bert And a couple other guys, I can't remember who Sean Patton, we all went out and skied And we got really drunk After the show and went to Del Taco, and we ordered It was that annoying shit where we're all Drunk in a van, yelling at the lady

In the drive-thru Like, what want that? me that oh give me get some fries oh you know that whole thing and she got it all and bert just pulled a hundred dollar bill out and paid for everything yeah he's i mean dude he's so generous oh yeah i mean he really is so generous uh that's awesome he is he really is i dude i did a i opened for him in dublin and it was like one of the best shows ever and i have a photo in my phone i'll post it to the patreon harry if you can do that but at one point we all got shit face we blacked out i don't remember anything but i looked at my phone the next day and i have a picture of burt carrying about 12 pizza boxes like in a cartoon like they're they're waving. And he's just holding them

on the sidewalk, giving them out to fans. I got the photo. He is, like, a fun guy. Like, here's the thing. With alcohol drinkers who drink in excess, I wouldn't call Bird an alcoholic, but I think, like, he does drink in excess. Come on.

He's definitely an alcoholic, you think? Yeah, but, you know, he's functioning. Maybe that's why I don't think of him. an alcoholic you think yeah but you know he's functioning maybe that's why i don't think of him like i think of an alcoholic as someone who's like kind of a loser you're right maybe he goes go but the thing about bird is like he's fun like there's a type of drunk that is so fun yes and maybe that's what keeps you in the game i mean like good point good maybe it's i mean the guy who gets shit face and says I mean, like the point, maybe it's, I mean, the guy who gets shit face and says the N word at an office party,

it's like he couldn't handle it. He ain't drinking anymore. Maybe that saved him down the road. Right. You know what I mean? But that's true. That's a good point. But Bert really is so fun.

I mean, the fun drunk, it's really important because there are people we know who still drink And you're like, fuck, this guy's here I know, I know, there's the angry drunk There's the mean drunk, there's the blackout Yeah, you're right, you gotta really hone your drinking ability Like, I like to drink and I gotta say

I'm the best drunk driver this side of the Mississippi Such a hilarious thing to brag about i know that's that's one of my skills sadly i'm a i'm a skill you've honed it it was like known in new orleans like we'd all be shit face we had a designated driver i'd kick him out of the car and i go i'm driving this thing and uh yeah just if there was a merit badge for drinking and driving, I'd be loaded up. Well, you're definitely loaded up, brother. I mean, I remember List and I on a gig, Joe List and I. I want to say this is like more than that.

Maybe like 11 years ago, we did that casino run. And Joe, I didn't realize how drunk Joe was. It was when Joe drank. Oh, yeah. So Joe, so I can't drive. I'm a terrible driver. He would get fewer. On the gig, it's like I did like 30 minutes of driving.

He did 30 hours. Yeah, yeah. He was furious at me. I told him I'm bad at making turns. And he goes, do you realize that's a big part of driving, you fucking idiot? He was so mad at me. Yeah. So we're in a casino.

It was a fucking hell gig, whatever. And Joe was so funny. It was literally... So this was the gig. We're in Milwaukee. It's during the playoffs. The casino's under construction. So they moved the band Cheap Trick from the music room to the comedy club. They moved Joe and myself to the bar during the playoffs that the brewers are playing

in so we're like hey can you turn the game off because and they're like no it's the playoffs and we're like well can we do shorter sets and the guy goes not if you want to get paid so we're like oh it's one of those gigs yeah joe is fucking killing me because he goes on stage and the cardinals are kicking the brewer's ass and joe just starts cheering so hard for the cardinals like fuck fuck milwaukee fuck the brewers he's commentating on their just demise just yeah infuriating him and i have to go on after him because we kept swapping the order oh god and they did not like me either so oh was he he was bombing oh yeah but he was hilarious but he's bombing because they're fucking furious and i fucking bombed worse you know so you try to do a set yeah yeah my mistake but yeah i mean we ended up watching cheap trick afterwards

and was hilarious watching joe I mean they were awesome man I want you to want me surrender I'm like this is fucking fun man I'm into it And uh anyway Then we go to the tables You know Joe immediately loses A shit load of money he finds me he goes How you doing I'm like yeah you know

He goes tell me I'm like I'm up a little bit He's like fuck you he's furious And uh Let's go back. We drive back. And, uh, I didn't know he was fucking wasted. He, the next day he goes, how did we get home? I'm like, oh, you motherfucker. Oh yeah.

You drove me home in a blackout. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you, he was in a blackout far better than I ever was. Well, you know, these guys that grew up in Boston, they're drinking since they're 13. Yeah, you got to get good at it. But, I mean, who's got that great bit about how a blackout is just time travel? Mattel. Oh, yeah, you wake up and you're like.

Any time you're like, who's got that great bit? 75% is Dave Mattel. Especially if it's about blacking out. But, yeah. Or as I call it, time travel. There it is. That's it. Yeah, you wake up. You time travel there it is that's it yeah you wake up you're like oh all that all that driving is done i parked the car i got out i i came inside i had a sandwich not i don't remember any of it i shit myself you wake up you're still not assistant manager

you're banging the girl on the friday later right she's retired but those titties ain't retarded yeah it's a classic One of the best albums Of all time folks If you haven't Checked out Skanks for the Memories The best album

Of all time For any comedy album Skanks for the Memories By Dave Attell You think the best I think it's the best Comedy album of all time Wow

What tops it I mean I think Killing Them Softly is up there That's a special, it's on the album Oh, okay, good point Killing Them Softly is phenomenal I love Chappelle As a special, that's tops

I kind of I love rocks Bring the pain Chewed Up is great Back in Town by Carlin We could do this all night All day, baby Bring the Pain. Yeah, I love, you know. Chewed Up is great. Fuck, incredible. Back in Town by Carlin. Yeah, we could do this all night. All day, baby.

Yeah. All day. Even live in concert with Pryor, I think, is one of the best specials. Oh, my God. I'll say, yeah, I'll say that for sure. I love, I mean, the closing on Live at the Sunset Strip when Pryor's doing Jim Brown. He's doing the whole bit about Freebase And it's like the funniest

Where you're like, man, I hope no one has to live through this shit But if they do, thank God They can make it this funny Pryor rules Totally, oh yeah Just to come out It's on Netflix now, by the way, live in concert Which is so great

I showed it to my girl She's younger and she liked it She hates anything, she's got's younger and she liked it she hates anything she's got the phone in her face you know she's she's probably a genius yeah he comes out he's like riffing on the room he's doing a special in the 70s riffing on the room riffing on the guy in the front row talking about the seats and black people stealing the white people's seats it's all riffed it's unbelievable he's just he's just like a natural well the comfort is not it comfort just shows you like this dude was born to be this like it's not someone who's like here's my set

it's someone who's like look at this fucking like look at this guy this guy's coming in late you know what i mean like like that comfort level and then he has the jokes too so it's like right i mean he's got everything uh prior you know he's got everything he's got every tool yeah he's so fucking funny the word on the street is he did two sets and the first one bomb big bomb and the second one he was just like fuck it let's just let's just go balls to the wall and that's why it was so good that's what you ever heard the mitch hedberg comedy Central half hour story? Yeah, I heard that.

That he did 45 and just bombed the whole time and they sweetened it? Yes, and then it was a huge hit. And no one could tell. Well, when the jokes are that good and you sweeten it, no one can tell. Right, right. But that's why at one point he's sitting on the stage like, this sucks, I'm fucked. But they sweetened it and the fucking public loved it.

It's one of the best ever. Oh yeah. The glasses. You're like, who is this guy? He was so different. He was so weird. He was so out outside the box.

It was great. I mean, rice is great when you want 2000 of something. Yeah. It's so fucking good. I mean, all those old, I love his,

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask him where they're going and catch up with them later. I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it. I mean, come on. That's like Groucho Marx level shit. Yeah, it really is. You're right. It's like old timey comedy, but no one can, that's what it is.

He's disguising it. It's kind of like the Big Lebowski. It's like we took an old timey detective movie, but we threw in a burnout. So you guys can't tell. Right. Well said. The sleuth is a guy who's just a fucking, he's just a hippie, like a burnout kind of hippie. Well, that was Hedberg.

I mean, he's doing like the Stephen Wright type, you know, one-liner comedy. You know, I guess he would do a little more than that because he would tag it up. But, yeah, it's the best. I mean, Hedberg's the best. He's so funny. One-liner comedy, I guess he would do a little more than that Because he would tag it up But yeah I mean, Hedberg's the best He's so funny He's the best because his delivery system was so different You know, he's like, I got long hair I got fucking rose-colored glasses on

I'm a heroin addict And that rhythm, you could say anything in that rhythm That cadence And it was innocent You could tell there was a darkness about it But the comedy was so innocent and sweet Good point There's something pretty cool about that too

Like the juxtaposition of this You know there's a darkness living there But then combined with And he needed your love He would kill on lettering My mom loves those applause breaks I'm aware that joke is stupid He was so real

He was so vulnerable. Are we two of the last comics that really give a shit about late night sets? Are we like... 100%. We are like the last of the comedians who really care. I love late night sets still. I haven't seen Mike Vecchione. He was on Tonight Show last night.

I know. I'm excited to watch. How sad. We're a bunch of nerds no no no He's the best If you guys haven't heard Mike Vecchione's album The worst kind of thoughtful Get on that right now on Spotify

iTunes wherever you get your shit Mike Vecchione is the funniest dude Like literally the funniest And talk about jokes per minute Punchlines per minute just Killer writer beast Like the crowd can't catch up They're laughing so hard And I think he won album of the year with that album

Or was that Deservedly so, it's one of the best ever I mean he has one of my favorite jokes of all time Where he said I signed up to be a detective online And they just took my money And I thought either I just got ripped off Or this is my first case Ah, that's so first case ah that's

that's so brilliant beautiful that's a beautiful joke yeah he's got a great joke he's like i bought condoms in a vending machine or i saw a guy buying condoms in a vending machine and they didn't come out so he had to shake it and he's like i don't know that guy should have a baby it's good he's buying condoms something like that i butchered it but yeah he's killer condoms. Something like that. I butchered it, but yeah, he's killer. He has so many where you're just like, fuck. Yeah. I'm jealous. I love it. But his comedy makes me so happy, too.

He's such a fucking great comic. Give me a peeve, dude. Oh, all right, all right. I'm going all over the place with this peeve. I love it, though. I feel like our peeves are getting more focused. Okay, okay. I love it though I feel like our peeves are getting more focused Okay okay Well I feel like I've been shitting on people With their peeves

And annoyed with everybody So I'm turning a peeve onto myself That I do Yes I'm putting up a mirror I gotta tell you man It's been a weird week I don't know what's going on I try to be an efficient guy

I try to take care efficient guy i try to take care of my shit i left my keys in my apartment i had to call a locksmith just because i left my i didn't put my keys in my pocket i walked out did a bunch of shows came back had to call a locksmith damn so i'm just sick of forgetting shit i flew here today forgot my headphones so i had to go buy headphones. So now I'm 300 in deep with a locksmith. And then I had to buy headphones. And now I'm 30 bucks shy with that.

So it's like I'm fucking myself because I'm not concentrating. I got to get my shit together. You know what? I think it's a sign of stress because I'm very forgetful right now. I did it the other day. It's funny. I did it the other day. Like, it's funny. I did a set last night, and I had my headphones in, but I just forgot this little thingy, you know, the little AirPod thing, the container thing.

Oh, yes, yes. So I think it's just, you know, we forget shit. We just, we're stressed, man. This is a stressful time we're all living in and we're like we're almost at the end of i think the worst of this shit i hope i hope but uh i think we're all losing our shit i don't even think like you should hold yourself i mean the keys thing sucks i think about that all the time like i i thought i lost him tonight and i it turned out i just put him in like a jacket pocket instead of a jean pocket yeah but like that's the

stress where you're like i I could have forgot them. And now I'm locked out. It's that. That's what we're living in, man. Yeah. Yeah, totally. And you just, I hear my dad's voice like, come on, son, get your shit together. You're an adult now, blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, the key is such a cunt because it's just one little thing. It's almost like a passport. Like, you forget your passport. It's just like a piece of paper, but you got to go all the way back and get it, you know? And it's just such a little, the key is this big, and it ruins your whole fucking night. The key is a cunt is really what I took from that. And I'm with you, man. It's so tough.

Like, I have friends who would tell me to invest in cryptocurrency, and then they break down how you, like, have to engrave it into a metal thing to remember the code so you don't get it stolen. Then you put that in like a safety deposit box. And I'm like, I'd rather not have that much money. I'm good. This is stressing me out even just listening to it. And I know people are going to say I'm a fucking idiot. I just I'm so disorganized with everything but my jokes. That's literally

Guess what I never forget I got two joke pads in my back pocket I got two I never forget those pieces of paper I forget other shit constantly I'm with you I got a stack of notes right here I never forget it

It's the only thing I remember I have forgotten it before And you want to kill yourself You ever lost a notepad? Holy shit Forget it. It's the only thing I remember. Yeah. And I have forgotten it before. And you want to kill yourself. Like, you ever lost a notepad? Holy shit. It's like losing a child. It really is.

I don't like the phone as a... Because then you start typing. Then you're like, this is not the same. I like writing because it starts entering your brain. Yes. And it flows out of you with a pen. With typing, I'm like... I don't need more time on my phone either. I'm trying to avoid the phone.

Good point. Yeah, then you open it, now you're on Twitter, now you're on Insta, now you're on Grindr. Gets me every time. Oh, and this is a more relatable pet peeve. That was just me.

I got to get my shit together. But I hate when people ask you a question and then they ask you another question before you finish the answer. I'll give you an example. They're just not listening. Yeah, and you're like, did you care about the other one? Or what are we doing here?

What city do you live in? I live in New York. What kind of car are you driving? I don't drive a car Did you see that movie? And you're like, oh, did you care about the question or not? Don't ask me another question before I'm done with this fucking first answer The fucking lightning round?

What are you doing right now? It's crazy Drives me nuts, so I got a lot of that Oh, yeah, those interactions are tough Because you're just like, not only do you not care about me We lack a rhythm So I don't feel comfortable it's so true it's terrible i'm that's a huge peeve of mine i i like that with you i feel like we i've never felt like i it's a weird thing to say to a friend but like i

don't feel uncomfortable with you ever i never like right you know what i mean though like i feel like i've known you for so long that it's kind of just i'm also a little drunk i look listen mark you're hitting on me come on just say it you want to look this might be these negronis talking but no i just never i don't like being around people that this is the most obvious sentence ever but when they just fucking start when they start like cutting you off or chiming in a weird time it throws your rhythm off and you start your heart kind of starts jumping a little yes okay exactly exactly now you're on edge you're like am i being interviewed and i guess you didn't care about that other question and are you just asking me shit so i start talking and I'm feeling dead air?

Or do you actually give a fuck? That's what it is, I think. I think it's nerves. That person might be nervous so that maybe they have a social anxiety. But now you're giving me social anxiety. Right, right. You're making it worse. Yeah.

The feeling of the dead air is... Yeah. That's what podcasting is all about, brother. I know, but I don't mind dead air I'd rather dead air than Phony questions and bullshit chit chat You call it dead air I call it fucking peace and quiet

I mean this is silence When you're with another person It can be wonderful when you're just comfortable With the other person You ever just with your partner and you're just sitting there And it's quiet and you're like Looking at the sun and you're like this is cool man oh it's the best that's when you know you're with somebody you can actually be with when you can actually have a moment of sight like i drove uh i drove on a road trip once with a with a girlfriend and

we talked barely at all and then when we did talk it was like deep and thoughtful and weird and then we just go back to silence. It was great. I love that. Yeah. You know, it's important, man. I got a lot of peeves, man. I got a lot of peeves.

Hit me. Hit me. I'm hogging it. Well, people who are like, Paul, you ever do this shit for someone? They're like, oh, you like this? I'm like, yeah. They're like, well, you like that? And I say, yeah.

They go, well, which one do you like better i'm like well i don't know they're different they're like all right well you know say you have to choose yeah i'm like do i work for fucking buzzfeed why do i have to like are we doing a list like why can't i just like things i don't like the people that pressure you into ranking things yes. I think that's another nerves thing, or they think this is, this is good bar convo. Like we got a real topic going, buddy.

Shut up. Let's just talk. The top 10. I have to be like, you know, it's, it really has like that energy of like click for the next slide. If you're,

if you're ready, I don't like these websites that are like the 50 top things. And you have to click for each one slide if you're if you're ready i don't like these websites that are like the 50 top things and you have to click for each one i'm like i'm never going to use your website never never if it's a website where they're like the top 50 episodes and it's one page i'm like cool i'll look at that yeah but they know they they know what they're doing they know they got you by the balls and you got to click over oh now there's an ad oh now there's another oh it refreshed me to somewhere else and you're like god damn it i just want to get the top 48 over here yeah it's the fucking worst yeah so i'm with you on that basketball or football go hey what do we

what is this that one's easy for me you know which one i like that's true that's true i do love best are you ginger marianne i don't. I haven't seen the show in 30 years. Oh, my God. Those are like, how depressed do you have to be to be like, which succession character are you? Click. I know. I know.

You're like, anyone's excited. Mark, I'm a Tom. Dude, I'm a Tom, dude. I know. You know how much I like Tom. Right, right. What celebrity do you look like? Shia LaBeouf with aids i got it i'm

moving on i'm any any celebrity with aids that's just my that's it anytime i get a compliment they're like but with aids and i'm like okay yeah yeah yeah what is it michael phelps with aids pete sampras with aids uh i got pete sampras as a kid a lot just because i curly hair and thick eyebrows right but he was a cool one to get cool people say to me like an insult i'm like oh he's Pete Sampras with AIDS. I got Pete Sampras as a kid a lot just because I had curly hair and thick eyebrows. Right. But he was a cool one to get. Cool guy. People say to me like an insult.

I'm like, oh, he's banging the hot teacher from Billy Madison. So I'll take it. Is he? He's married to her. What? They're married, yeah. Wow. Good for him.

Veronica Vaughn, dude. Woo. Woo. Even that name is hot. Veronica Vaughnonica well that was her name in the movie that wasn't okay okay about to say jesus you gotta be hot that's a lot of pressure on a kid veronica vaughn all right farley man that movie it's like uh that movie is like like like pizza it's just always you can just you can just have it. Like, all right, I'll cold, hot, whatever.

I love him. It's so dumb and great. You know he made it because he loved Back to School. Like, that's definitely why he made it. Don't you think? Because he's such a big Rodney guy. That's true. That's true.

But just the balls it takes or the secureness it takes to go, stop looking at me, swan. I would do that on my own and be like, oh, I'll never show anybody this. But he's got a full crew, lights, gaffer, grip, a cast, a director, and he's doing that on camera. I could never do that. I love it. It's funny, man. And back to school to me is like, I'd still probably like, what are your top five comedy movies ever?

You see, we're, what do you call it? The connoisseurs. So everybody's seen Billy Madison and old school, but we've seen all the shit. I wouldn't call myself a connoisseur. I just think I like a lot of old comedies. Well, I don't think a lot of people have seen Back to school i don't think it's it's a big it's i think so it's never really brought up as like you know it's animal house caddy shack coming to america trading places i think back to school is funnier than like oh coming to america is in the conversation with back yeah

it's a great one i eddie murphy i go beverly hills Cop It's like right head in head I love Trading Places too But like I just fucking love Beverly Hills Cop Because he's so young and so full of energy And so fucking funny in it He's so good That big smile, the laugh He's so good in it

It's also It's basically an action film that just happens to be kind of funny Because Eddie Murphy's in it So but dude Judge Reinhold's funny John Ashton is such a great straight man Dude I mean I think Eddie Murphy should have gotten an Oscar nomination For Nutty Professor man

Oh my god he played six roles And he killed all of them Tell me that's not better than at least Four of the nominees That year What he did with that movie Is it a perfect movie Tell me that's not better than at least four of the nominees that year. That's a good point. Good point. What he did with that movie, is it a perfect movie? It's a good comedy, I think.

People get nominated for okay movies all the time when they're great. Eddie Murphy fucking is incredible in that movie. Incredible. I mean, he played the mom. He played the dad. It was insane. He played the, oh, no dad it was insane And he played the Oh no that was Dave Chappelle

Oh fucking Chappelle rules in that movie Oh he kills it Bitches be shopping I mean he started that whole Trend that was just the character He did He plays Sherman and Buddy Love so he's like So he plays this fat lovable Loser and he also plays

The cool like asshole Prick He's like, so he plays this fat, lovable loser, and he also plays the cool, like, asshole prick. I'm like, dude, Eddie Murphy's range is insane. And here's a sneaker. Here's a sucker punch. Bowfinger is amazing. He's amazing in Bowfinger. Nobody brings it up. Bowfinger's a really good movie.

Really good. Really, he's amazing. He plays this nerdy guy with braces It's incredible It's a complete transformation You're right he's incredible He should have an Oscar I mean He got fucked cause Dreamgirls was kinda like

Alright well finally we're taking you seriously And I think he lost like Alan Arkin or someone He's great but it's like Eddie Murphy's singing dude He's got like a fucking perm Just give him the Oscar The guy fucking rules Even in Coming to America the barbershop scene

He's the old Jewish guy And the other guy Unbelievable The problem with the Academy Awards There's so many obviously But they don't take comedy seriously No no never They don't give any love to any comedic actors unless they do some bullshit dramatic movie.

It's not as good as the comedy they're doing. Yeah, that's so true. I guess you just it's hard to take comedy seriously. I mean, they're they're being funny. It's not serious. But then if a guy has AIDS. But it's got to be like a dramatic actor In a comedy if it's like Dustin Hoffman

And Tootsie they'll look at it But if it's a comedic Actor they just don't respect them I'll tell you what's up there With that is Robert Downey Jr. In Tropic Thunder Unreal I mean he was a black guy It was unbelievable

That's one that like he is a serious actor that they respect, so that's one that, like, could have happened. Yeah. You know? That would be fun later. Like, oh, you're going to cancel everybody with the blackface, but you're giving it to that guy? That would be a fun thing to throw at him later,

but he didn't win, so. Yeah, they just don't really give it, unless you're like, if Anthony Hopkins does a comedy, they're like, we'll bite. But if it's fucking, you know. Will Ferrell, who's, you know, obviously a genius. Jim Carrey, nothing. Did Carrey get nominated for anything ever? He got nominated for The Majestic, which was like a shit movie.

And then Truman Show, I think, got nominated. Truman Majestic, which was like a shit movie. And then Truman Show I think got nominated. Truman Show is good. That's good. It's a good movie. But yeah, you're right. No comedy. Who else is a great... Who else deserves a comedy? I mean, Jim Carrey in The Mask is fucking insane.

Insane. It's not like a perfect movie, but he's insane. It's cheesy, but he's incredible in it I know he really is Damn Speaking of cheesy Sorry Robin Williams won for Good Will Hunting

He's incredible in that though Yeah he really is Stop fucking with me Sean Don't fuck with me Sean People hate on that movie man I love that movie. Joe hates it. Yeah, so does Ronon.

They just think it's them sucking each other off. I think it's a great... I love it. Great movie. Yeah, it's like... Man, I think I just like... People shit on Ben Affleck. I think he's fucking great, man.

I think so, too. I think The Town is one of the best movies in the last 20 years. I love The Town. Love The Town. The Town's one of the best movies in the last 20 years. I love The Town. Love The Town. The Town's incredible. It's fucking incredible. It's incredible, yeah.

People are like, Affleck's a pussy. I'm like, he's a great filmmaker. What are you talking about? I know. I mean, wasn't Jeremy Renner in that? Was that him? Yeah, it was fucking incredible. He's a killer actor.

He's up there with Tom Hardy, I think. Dude, when they do that scene when he's like, I need to go to a place, I need to beat the shit out of these people, and you can't ask any questions, he's just like, where do you want me to go? Like that type of loyalty is fucking incredible. The town is so, I think it's on Netflix right now. It's so fucking good.

Maybe it's on Amazon. It's streaming on one of the streamers. I think it's Amazon. I feel like Boston had a run where it was like, all right, this is the last Bastion of like cool American white guys You know because the white guy Got weird and everything

It was like American History X It was like what the hell is going on with these honkies But I feel like Boston had a little bit of edge And they had the accent But Ed Norton should have been Ardenero He just didn't get the roles But he is Ed Norton I remember when American History X was. He just didn't get the roles. Ed Norton, I remember when American History acts as a kid, obviously it hasn't aged

perfectly. It's very melodramatic. But he's incredible. He is undeniable. He says that fucked him up, by the way. That movie changed him. I heard he's a dick. I love him so much, though. Really?

Oh, I think he's the best. Are love him so much, though. Really? Oh, I think he's like the best. Are you kidding me? Ed Norton? Fight Club, Birdman, American History X. Primal Fear. That was like his breakthrough. That was incredible. That was introducing Ed Norton.

He got an Oscar nod, dude. People vs. Larry Flint. Oh, yeah. Directed Keeping the Faith. Solid rom-com. Cast M milo's foreman in the movie which i fucking love him for like because he just loved him wow i mean ed norton fucking rules dude i mean red dragon never saw that one it was one of those uh hannibal sequels it wasn't bad but ed norton does a good job he's a leading man in it, and he

Pulls it off He is fucking great Alright, alright, what other pet peeves You got? We went off on a movie tear there I gotta think, this is on me too I think a little bit, but I get bummed when Someone does something shitty to me And then they apologize immediately, and they don't

Even give me like 45 seconds To be annoyed Oh,'t even give me like 45 seconds to be annoyed. Oh, interesting. Give me an example. Like, all right. I was playing ball in the park with my buddy the other day. And it was game point. And I took him to the rack hard, which is probably my mistake in a friendly game on game point.

But he just hip checked me. And, you know, I went down. It's not that bad. But, you know, I got a little. Oh, I got a boo boo. Got a little fucking cuts. Nothing bad. But, you know. Yeah. But's not that bad but you know i got a little oh i got a boo-boo got a little fucking cuts nothing bad but you know yeah uh but he just fucking hip checked me and i went down i'm just like all right dude i was like fuck you he was like he i was like you could have hurt me yeah i'm not i'm not a kid sure and uh and and he goes all right i'm sorry i'm like but like i'm like you threw me to the ground right but i wasn't like i'm but then but then you're, all right, I'm sorry. I'm like, you threw me to the ground.

Right. But then you're like, all right, what am I? I'm going to stay mad at a fucking friend? Like, who gives a shit? Right, right. Well, see, that's a tough one because I feel like it'd be weirder if he didn't say sorry immediately. Fair enough. But I don't want to not yes and, but that's pretty harsh. No, you're probably right.

I admit this one's on me. I mean, like, I think I wanted to bitch about it for a couple more minutes. I get it. I get it. Yeah, because now you have to console him. Because, oh, it's all right, man. It's cool. It's cool. No biggie, man.

No, you could have fucking ended my fucking, you know. Yeah. You could have ended my fucking elbow if I went down a little harder. Right. No, I know it's not that bad a cut, but I was like, I went down a little harder Right No it's I know it's not that bad a cut But I was like I was bleeding a decent amount

No no It was pretty annoying I get it Let's see what else Oh I gotta I wrote this down Speaking of cheesy So I finished Cobra Kai

Because of you And I bet you haven't watched One fucking Rick and Morty. I'll say that too. I haven't, but I'm on season four of Peep Show. So I'm getting there. Are you loving it? I'm loving it.

It's so great. Me and the lady watching. Dude, it only gets better. It does. That makes me happy. All is forgiven. Season one, I was like, okay, okay. And then season two, I'm on the floor.

It's one of the great shows of all time. It's in my top five comedies ever, no doubt. Well, it's lowbrow, but still smart. The main guy's obsession with war is so funny. He's always like, I'm storming the castle in Prague or whatever the fuck. I love that shit. He's Mackie. He's Mackie.

He looks just like Mackie I was saying that the other day It's perfect, it's really funny And they'll go crazy and weird Alright kid, who would you rather suck off? Me or him? And he's like, I'm not saying And then cut to the kid's all weird

He's like, what happened? He sucked me off Super hands? Yes, yes Peep show, if you guys haven't seen it's on amazon and it's fucking it's the best give it a minute it's i hate when people say that about shows but like i promise like if you just give it a minute it'll be your favorite comedy and margaret only gets better dude oh i can't wait i can't olivia coleman dude

oh yeah oh yeah it's great and there's a lot of people in it the one chick was in fleabag it's olivia coleman oh okay there you go also a great show by the way fleabag is great she's so good i mean every time she looks at him she just looks so upset just like the acting of her just looking when that when they're going skydive or when they're going bungee jumping i mean i, it's fucking incredible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. I love every girl.

He's the best character, by the way. The nerdy guy is like, she's the one. Yeah. I mean, I kind of love them equally, Mark and Jez, but Superhands makes me laugh the hardest, probably, because he's just fucking... Yeah. So I've been watching Cobra Kai, and like, dude, it's so cheesy

Cheesy to the point that I'm like This dialogue is trash It's just bad dialogue I don't like Ralph Macchio's character He's a smug And I guess that's part of the plan It's believable that that kid would grow up To be a fucking dude like that

Yep I love William Zabka On the show It's believable that that kid would grow up to be a fucking dude like that. Yep. Yep. I love William Zabka on the show. You're supposed to love him. He's the protagonist. It's from the bully's angle. It's great. He's a great actor.

He is. He really is. He's got chops. There are scenes where I'm like, this is kind of heavy. The premise, it's so funny like kids just obsessed with karate like the idea that they're just like all about like he'll have a realization like you know i'm yeah you know i'm done living in the past you know it's it's okay to think about the past but to live in the past is pathetic and the next scene is like his sensei from high school, like you're fucking dead.

I know. I know. It's it's they it feels so dramatic and Shakespearean. They're in a strip mall and in a fucking karate dojo. And it's the end of the world. All of a sudden he's fucking teaching 13 year olds. And it's it's so dramatic. It's also hilarious where they're just like trash someone's house. And the next scene, they don't even acknowledge it

I'm like this is someone's home I know I know And then you're like there's a weird love scene And then you're like am I into this girl Is she 11 what am I doing here It's so There's a lot going on in that show It's basically a kids show

I know what you mean You're like looking up actresses ages just to make sure you're not a creep you're like she's 25 good all right that's fucking good she has tits she doesn't well what's the difference of ages here what's going on yeah it's tough but brett earns is great in it oh dude brett earns and dana dude there's two stand-up comics the two guys who work in Ralph Macchio's shop are funny comics, man. Yeah, yeah. I love it.

And they're good. They're good actors. But there's a reason this show, it's wildly popular. It got to number one on Netflix for a while. And I think it's just so cheesy. It's so over the top. But there's something to it Where it's like this protagonist Or a

Underdog thing I don't know It hits home for some reason You know what it is it's a guy who's down on his luck Who's made mistakes Who's doing his best And that's just so relatable Especially when it's a guy who is familiar I mean

First off shout out to William Zabka Is the bad guy In Back to School That's right That's right And the Karate Kid He was like the hot 80s kid

Yep But fuck man Like I feel like I don't know what his story is Cause I feel like He didn't work a lot For the last couple decades

Or maybe You know Three decades What happened Yeah Well he got typecast As the bully He's the bully in something else, too

He's the bully in Karate Kid, Back to School And then something else There's a third one And it's the same blonde guy You know, buff, bully guy And he just got typecast And he was so that guy That he couldn't do anything else

They're like, we're not going to book you as the lead in a rom-com You're the bully And he just couldn't get work and then he quit the biz It's funny think about if he was like young now He'd probably be in the fucking Avengers or something I know So fickle you know He really

He's really terrific And he's so good in the scenes that are kind of Nuanced you know And complex where he'll like He's an asshole but he's actually trying I think that's why people love it I think that's such a relatable character Because we all know someone like that

And I think we all feel that way Yes yes Maybe I'm reaching here But in a time of like Cancelling and all that And there's no really forgiveness anymore If somebody fucks up they're out We're watching this guy who fucked up

He was the bad guy And now he's kind of the underdog good guy And I think that's fun to see We're seeing that like Someone is not what we think It's kind of cool And even if they are what they think They're kind of not what we think

We're all flawed, we're all flawed We're all insecure And then you see like he cares Like he fucked up with his kid but he is Trying with his other kid It's weird how addictive The show it goes down like It goes down like Potato chips or something

It's just easy Yeah I shouldn't have another one but fuck it I'm doing it It's basically a soap opera And you hear Ralph Macchio Bitch about Zabka and you're like he's got a point And then you hear Zabka bitch about Macchio You're like he's kind of right So then you're kind of seeing things from both sides

Which almost gets kind of political Like the left and the right Whose side am I on? Oh that's a good point So it feels like there's some parallels here That's a great point Mac That's a good point. So it feels like there's some parallels here. That's a great point. Macchio is a smug liberal. Yeah. And then Zabka is kind of like a Republican who's kind of in the middle.

He's Trumpy, but he's also not Trumpy because he kind of has, he has like more heart. He's kind of like, he does care. Like Trump would never be like, shit, Fucked up that's true I shouldn't Say Trumpy I should say but he's kind of Like almost MAGA duty where some Guys like hey that's your you're Assuming my gender he's like shut up But only on the surface and that's the

Beauty of it Machio Is genuinely smug I mean he's like a Fucking dude who's cultural Like think if you knew this dude in real life He's a white dude who's culturally appropriating Japanese culture. You'd be like, you're the most annoying human being. You have a hot wife you never fuck because you're busy teaching children karate as a second job. And you're running your fucking car business into the ground.

You're a fucking clown. I know because you hung up on this bully From high school you dweeb His wife's walking around in like fucking A bra and a track jacket And you're like bang your wife dude I know I know take a breather But the ego kicks in And he can't let the guy win

And he can't let the other guy win Yeah it's got layers I gotta say No it's fun it's a fun show for sure And I love the kid Miguel, that kid's a great actor Oh, he's great He's like got the Peter Parker thing going Where you're like, I'm rooting for this kid for sure

Totally, totally, he's down on his luck He's poor, but he's got a heart of gold Yeah, he's adorable I love it, I love it Great rec, great rec Alright, wow, I'm shocked I'm so glad you're in it. I mean, look, is it like great writing?

God, no, but it's fucking fun. To be honest, I think some of the dialogue, I'm like squirming. I'm like, ugh. I know, the same way. This is such cheesy. It's kind of fun to squirm. It's almost like when you're eating a piece of cake, you're like, God, this is so bad for me. And I love it.

I'm loving every second of this icing. it on my tits yeah it's good it's fun and the old man sensei martin it's like hilarious like it it is you know i'm glad you're watching peep show that makes me happy and i'll get to rick and morty don't you don't you worry i'm i got a boy Salacuse on it He's into it He loves it He's pushing me on it now This is all we have now I know but thank god art exists

This is why art is so great Look at all these hours we need at home And we gotta have art and it's out there And we get to consume it But shit's coming back I'm hitting the road again soon So I'm excited And I'm gonna hit it hard again soon, so I'm excited. Oh, good.

And I'm going to hit it hard. Hell yeah. Time to get back at it. Yes, yes. Stand up is our bread and butter, so it's going to be fun to get back. It's the best, man. Hey, hey, folks. We are also brought to you by my bookie. March is here, and that can only mean one thing.

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my bookie puts the action in your hands with in-game live betting. Bet anything, anytime, anywhere with my bookie. Get on it, folks, and win some cash-ish. Well, what do you got for Rex, speaking of Rex? Dude, I got like nothing. My rec was kind of weird. This was my rec

And it was stupid I updated my bar at home Because I've been drinking out of a Funny Bone glass the last few weeks So I got some nice little scotch glasses That is nice I like it And I got a little shaker going on I got some pint glasses

My rec is I'm spending so much time at home Let me update the home bar equipment so that was kind of my wreck this week i like those glasses they got a hard they got a lot of thick a thick bottom oh dude a heavy bottom man yes love a heavy bottom holy shit yeah i'm with you i'm with you can slam it down and it doesn't break it's it's nice and like man i got a nice buzz on i had kind of a stressful week so it's just nice to kind of just chill right now and just relax you know good good all right let me throw a weird wreck at you well i flew here and forgot

my headphones of course so i couldn't listen to any podcasts which i i love and and need but what do you listen to for pods usually on the flight? I go all over the place. Sometimes I'll see who's doing what, and I'll just listen to a singular episode of a guy I like or a gal I like. But you know me. I like Gladwell and Freakonomics and a couple other ones. But I watched the Bruce Lee doc on the plane, and it was pretty fun.

It's great. Yeah, it's pretty great yeah he's a special guy man he really totally you know what i love about him is that um he refused to be typecast as like a stereotype and he and he you know he cost himself work but he also yeah it's it's incredible he's an incredible guy uh i know i don't feel like we talk about like the you know we don't feel like we talk about the Asian discrimination or the Chinese discrimination, really.

It doesn't really come up. It's just like Jew and black and whatever, trans, but hey, don't sleep on the Chinese bigotry. He really was a badass, and to risk it all when he was already a star in Asia and come here the fact

that he died so young 32 i remember watching that uh you know with someone else and she was just like i i had no idea this was coming she didn't know he died so young i mean he had so much ahead of him it's just so tragic he could have done so much more enter the dragon just showcased yes the charisma he had i mean i remember like what a cool movie that was jim kelly was so cool and it was just a badass movie i know kareem abdul-jabbar is fun in that it's just so crazy he's not in that one which one is he's in another one he's not an enter the dragon okay but kareem was boys with him kareem would pay him for lessons Which I'm like how fucking cool is it

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar might be the coolest fucking dude I know Lu Alcindor Yeah played for the Lakers Was a martial artist Wrote for Veronica Mars It was in the writers room He does everything dude

He's like a jack of all trades If you ever read he does like op-eds And they're so well written He's such an intelligent guy And he's the NBA scoring champ Yeah And he's 7'1 What a guy

He's such a legend Is he still around? Yeah he's around Tall guys tend to not age well Wow I'm hoping that changes I'm talking about 7-1 That's freaking nature shit

Well, Bill Russell's still alive, he's like 86 Oh, okay, alright No, Kareem is the coolest man Such a cool guy Cool dude, but yeah, good movie But I wanted to wreck this Because I always do docs No, Kareem is the coolest man. Such a cool guy. Cool dude. Cool dude. But yeah, good movie. But I want to direct this because I always do docs. So I'm throwing out this movie.

If you've seen it, I hope. If you haven't, you got to watch it. Captain Fantastic. I've never even heard of it. Oh, my God. It's this underrated movie. It's Viggo Mortensen. I don't want to give it away, but his wife dies, so he just says, fuck civilization.

He takes his kids. They move to the woods and live in the woods. They hunt. They build a hut and a house and read every night and build a fire. It's so amazing. And then they have to go into town to go to the wife's funeral. And the kids are young, so they've not learned how to live in a society, in a city. And it really, it's it's that they're they're the kids are young so they've not learned how to live in a society in a city and it really it's an eye-opener captain fantastic it's on netflix

check it out i love vigo mortensen so good the movie it makes you think because you're like maybe it is nice to live in the woods maybe society is gross and capitalism and and fast food and all that shit and then you see them in the woods and they're like, they need medicine and they need a teacher and they need social skills and all that shit. So it's like, which one is better? It's fascinating. Wow. Yeah. I mean, it's I've never heard of it.

I'll give it a check out, man. Give it a check. I've been uh just watching feel good shit like what you said like uh cobra kai i've been just re-watching south park episodes it's just putting me in a fucking happy place it's so silly and they have the new vaccination episode which i'm gonna watch after this and there's so many great i mean south park's just i mean that's talking about like greatest movies of all time. That's on my list for sure.

It's up there. I mean, talk about like with comedy taking a hit with like, I don't know, people getting upset and you can't say this. That is animated. So they are doing the like top notch balls to the wall commentary that no one else can do. Yeah, they're kind of uncancellable they've kind of yes they they've kind of almost been grandfathered in because they've been around since before these fucking dumb rules applied right and they just have never given a fuck and ever they're just so smart that they literally go after everyone that it's made them And it's also like I think the mob's gone after them enough Where they're just like we don't

We don't care We're good They truly don't and They've made boatloads of money for the Comedy Central I mean they probably kept them On the air at some points And like I heard George Clooney tried to get on They were like sure and they wrote him as a dog clooney tried to get on they were like sure they

wrote him as a dog and he just barks because they're like well we don't need you but we'll have you on you know but but he's in the movie okay he's in the movie but if you're good you're good like you i don't care how dirty you're offensive if it's brilliant it's brilliant and let the men let the men work i heard trey parker in an interview say they asked if they had any bad interactions with celebrities And at the Oscars he said Because they both wore dresses To the Oscars and they were on acid

And apparently J-Lo just walked up to him And just pushed him Which I think is like kind of like Halfway like flirted Like you got me and her being silly I don't think she was like really pissed halfway like flirted, like you got me and being like her being silly. I don't think she was like really pissed, but like they did a whole episode about,

Oh, they did a whole episode where they just painted her as the biggest bitch. And it's, it's so good. I mean, dude, they've just gone after everybody. That's the point.

It's like, they've gone after everybody. How are you really mad? You know, our Kelly, Alec Baldwin, they'll, they'll take anybody

they don't give a shit they're so good um so that's enough if i'm gonna do another wreck that's give it it's on hbo max every fucking season get on it man um give me a joke dude all right i got a couple joke ideas but uh we're pushing the time limit here so this is this has been done already right i tweeted it and they got a bunch of retweets. But then people were like, I think that's a Jim Jefferies joke. Then somebody else said it was a Stanhope joke. So I got to run it by you. Uh-oh.

You know, like, people get mad when a Caucasian plays a Native American. Or people get mad when a Regular What do you call it Biological woman plays a trans woman You know you can't do that anymore But what about the fact that hot actors And actresses are playing Ugly people like Monster Or you know

Whatever it is Has that been done? They're appropriating ugly I thought Tom McCaffrey had a bit like that i could be wrong i'm a little buzzed uh well i think he had a bit about like um huh i think tom mccaffrey might have a bit where it's like ugly people were like can i play the role they're like no we're just gonna take uh brad pitt and make him really ugly or something like that okay i don't know? They're like, no, we're just going to take Brad Pitt and make him really ugly.

Or something like that. I don't know. I would just message Jim. I'm sure he's, you know. I don't know him that well. I got to ask him. I don't know. All right.

You ask him, but maybe I'll just give it a goog. I don't know if it's. Give it a goog. I don't know. I worry that one sounds like it might have been. It's fucking funny. Oh, thanks. But yeah, I feel like if. I worry that one sounds like it might have been. It's fucking funny. Oh, thanks. But yeah, I feel like if two people got that and then you said Tom, so that's already three people I've heard had it.

So I'm going to drop it. I mean, good people to be on parallel thought with Doug Stamop and Jim Jeffries. All right. Let me try a real one then. All right. Is this anything? And this is out there. So right, all right. Let me try a real one then. All right. Is this anything? And this is out there, so bear with me here. But homosexuality is interesting because, okay, you're a hetero guy.

You like pussy. You got to go out and get pussy. You got to meet a gal, buy a drink, tell a story, be charming. But if you like dick as a gay guy, you own one. Isn't that interesting? Like the thing you like

is on your body. You know, and then you got the whole angle of like, I'm not into dick, but I like my own. So I've given millions of hand jobs, but only to me. So I'm kind of gay for me.

I hate your dick, but I like my dick. I really want a PS5. Well, you already have a controller. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah, I like that about how the thing you want. It's attached to you. You have a bit I love, an older bit,

where you'd say how gays keep Jews, they want their race to live on. They want to live on. They must be jealous of gay people. They can't even procreate, but they keep popping up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great bit. Oh, thanks.

I think of I think of So they want dick But they have dick It's like being addicted to coke And your body You make coke Or some other analogy Yeah

It's almost like your kids Your dick is like your children Because you love yours But you hate that guy's kids I think it's fascinating Because it's like It's almost like I know it's a weird idea

No it's an interesting premise That's why it's not easily crackable Right away It's like You have a dick But you want another dick And you have a dick, but you want another dick, and you want a different dick. You want a different dick every now and then. Yeah, I mean, it's like your dick, we've seen this, a different dick,

and you don't want a dick that looks just like yours either. Uh-huh. Right, right. If you work at a pizza shop, you can have pizza, sure, but every now and then you want some different pizza. You want a deep dish or a calzone or something from another place. I like that. I like that.

You work at Thin Crust, you want to go out for some deep dish. There you go. Okay, that's better. If you're eating at McDonald's, if you're working at McDonald's, you don't want to eat at McDonald's. Yeah, but you're working at McDonald's, you don't want to eat at McDonald's. Yeah. But you will. You will if you have to.

But if someone says, let's go to Wendy's, you accept the invitation. Well, if you're gay, you're not into Wendy. But I see what you're saying. But if you're gay, you still, it's just fascinating to me that you have the part That you are attracted to It is interesting Yeah You have what you want

It's just you don't want yourself You don't want yourself You'll settle for it when you're alone at night Rubbing one out in the shower or whatever Is it kind of like cooking at home versus eating out? Oh Now we're getting somewhere. That's interesting.

You're like, shit, I mean, like, I guess everything's closed. I can make myself some eggs. Right, right. And us heteros, we eat out every night. Double entendre there. You got it. I like the idea. I like the angle of eating at home versus eating out

because i think it's a clear jack off fucking someone else right that's a good angle i think that's a great premise what about the premise the second part about how i i have a dick uh and i'll i'm not gay but i like like my own. Is that a separate thing? Like, I'm gay for me. Yeah, it's interesting. Like, we'll jerk our dicks off, but we won't suck our own dicks. You would? I've tried.

I licked it once. I've licked. All right. There we go. Well, you do just to know You could do it But I'm not gonna wanna I don't wanna It's not really my thing

But like If a guy jizzed on you You'd fucking You'd fight him But you've jizzed on yourself It's my own jizz Exactly Exactly

I think it's The difference is It's consentable jizz Right Right Right It's just funny I mean I'm agreeing on Guys I think also difference is it's consentable jizz. Right, right, right. I mean, I'm agreeing on... Guys, I'd never touch a dick. And you're like, you touch one every night?

I don't know. Maybe I'm real. The thing is, jerking off is almost like doing the dishes. It's maintenance at home. You got to do it just to make sure shit stays okay. Right. So you don't shoot up a school you gotta do it have you know the dudes that don't jack off enough they're like the dudes that are just like you're like that dude hit on her way too hard right right yeah that's true all right that dude hasn't had a home-cooked meal in ages.

Yes, home-cooked meal. It's made with love. I like that angle more than the, I jerk a dick off, I'm not, you know, I'm not gay, but I jerk a dick off. I feel like that's not, it's just not as interesting. The first part's more interesting to me. All right right well that works for me um i have an angle about so i have a couple jokes about my biological dad first i have a thing about like how you know he's like the type of old school guy who like wants the baseball game on

which is convenient because it's like you can't bring up real shit when the game is on you can't right right can't be like there's a two two count you're like speaking of 22 uh those are the amount of years i didn't hear from you and uh you know or like yeah like so that was like oh there's a uh there's a there's a there's a shot to the gap. Where was he on that play? You're like, where was he? All right. Or something like that. I don't know.

Also, you basically, as your son, or as his son, you've been benched. I was released. Yeah, can I get in the varsity? Yeah, I mean, I'd like to play. Can you play me? Jesus Christ. So that was one part. The other part was like, so I have a half brother I've never met.

So at one point I asked him, we kind of look alike. And I just said, you know, I'm curious. I'd like to meet him. And he said, you know, I floated it past him and he didn't really bite. I was like, man, that was like the most corporate way To describe me never getting to meet a blood relative You know what I mean? That's hilarious We ran up by the people upstairs

And it didn't really work for them Yeah I don't know I don't know what to end this Those are two different bits But all surrounding the dead The biological dead I think there's a lot there with the

baseball thing, too. Yeah, I was thinking a lot about Yankees games, because you go to a Yankees game, what do they always play right after the last pitch is thrown is Sinatra. Start spreading the news. I'm leaving today.

That's more than I got. Yeah, and not to mention What is the cliche thing To do with your dad and son Play catch This guy's got baseball on TV You couldn't throw me a ball Yeah it's interesting

Baseball is so Dude just You don't talk about real shit during sports. That's why guys like that shit. You talk about who you hooked up with. You're never like, this is what you... At dinner, you might have like a like, I need to talk to you about something.

That shit doesn't happen during the game. Right, right. There's also something too with like, hey, I'm trying to come home, Dad. I'm trying to, you know, like like, hey, I'm trying to come home, Dad. I'm trying to, you know, like, wave me in. I'm trying to get home. I don't know. It's so true.

The whole point of sports is to just distract and escape. And yet he's got the game on 24-7. So, yeah, you can't bond. Right. That's interesting And then yeah You just found out you have a half brother It's like Jesus Christ

Turn the game off and introduce us This game is ruining us It's uh Yeah it's funny I remember going there But sometimes you're mad the game isn't on Sometimes you're like this is too real for me So like I would like you know his wife would be like Come over the game isn't on Sometimes you're like this is too real for me So like I would like you know his wife would be like

Come over the game will be on I'm like alright I'll come over And then you go there there's no game on I'm like yeah I was told there'd be a buffer You know what I mean like where's the buffer That's great Where's the buffer Yeah for Father's Day

You get them the full sports package So you're like, alright, never again We're never going to have an awkward moment We got you MLB The MLB package Let's never talk about anything You're watching Chinese games at one point You're like, oh yeah, that was close

The season was over, but thank god These guys are still going Before we get out, we read uh an email from the from the patreon just so you guys know that our patreon is kicking guys remember uh patreon.com slash we might be drunk pod you get another episode so yes and you you can email us you know we might be drunk uh pod at gmail.com yes and yeah i mean shit it's it's it's a good time i'll read you some send us a joke a pet peeve a drink a recommendation whatever you want i'll read one right now from uh signups jolly you know it would be awesome if you guys actually throw suggestions on how to

deal with a pet peeve or to act around the person that triggers the pet peeve but anyway wow sounds like already a pet peeve but anyway here's a good one people that that hummus around the house for no i'm guessing hum around the house instead of hummus oh hum around the house just wondering humming a song like every day in the kitchen this gets on my nerves for some reason if you tell a guy not to do something they damn sure will so that won't work so what do you do wow this person seems a little angry yeah one day it came out and the person he responded with what you don't like when i'm happy and i'm thinking no be happy all you want just don't be annoying anywho i love this bit you guys do on pet peeves keep it up but you probably uh

start throwing slick ideas on how to deal with it rather than being super agreeable with each other, which is also awesome. Right on. Peace. Let me know how you feel about humming when the episode airs. Yeah. What do you think, Mark? I get it. My ex-girlfriend hated when I whistled like I would whistle while I did shit like a mopping up.

She's like, don't whistle. I hate whistling. It annoys me. And it was weird because I'm'm like does my own girlfriend hate what i'm happy that's what it felt like but she just hated the whistling because it was inconsistent you know she couldn't concentrate but uh i get it i get the humming but it doesn't bother me but i get what he's saying i've never had a partner who does that so I can't relate to it But yeah, noise Random noise would probably bother me Yeah, yeah I totally understand it

Especially in close quarters I can totally see that being an issue I'm so scared of my partner or whoever being upset That I'm like, alright, she's humming, she's whistling Great, I'll take it I'll take the annoying hum over pissed off You know what? That's a great point As long as you're not furious with me

Yeah, exactly Let's fucking dance I'm in So yeah, get on that Patreon Check out the email Send us something you hate, you love You're drinking, you're talking about Your recommendation

And yeah, keep drinking And leave us some reviews You guys have left us such nice reviews On iTunes, wherever you listen Just keep leaving us five stars, we appreciate it Get on the Patreon Follow us, you know, we might be drunk On Instagram

Follow Mark and I, obviously, on social media And I'm doing a virtual gig March 22nd, so get tickets on my website. Got Bridgeport, Connecticut next month. Got some other gigs coming up. So, Mark, where are you going to be, man? That's a decent room, that Bridgeport. I like it.

It's fun. Yeah. I'm all over the road. Got chased off stage there once, but otherwise good. Yeah, yeah. Save that for next week. I'll save that for another one, yeah. I'm in Lexington, Kentucky. I've never been to Comedy on Broadway. Oh that for next week. I'll save that for another one, yeah. I'm in Lexington, Kentucky.

I've never been to Comedy Hall on Broadway. Oh, I love it. Really? It's fantastic, yeah. Oh, great. All right. Classic, classic room. Oh, great.

All right. Columbus Funny Bone, Paramount Theater in Austin. Okay, can I give you a quick recommendation? Please. I don't know if the Keene Raceway is going on. The racetrack there is fantastic. If not, hit up a fucking brewery man that's where all the bourbons made oh that's right i think that's a distillery distillery i'm a fucking look man i've had a few of these drinks i'm on threads here it's all the same tacoma comedy club magubis you know magubis uh Tacoma Comedy Club Magoobies You know Magoobies I love it Yeah I love them all

Hartford Yeah Spokane Virginia Beach Funny Bone I've never been That should be weird Portland Helium This is all summer

So yeah Just come on out Check the websites Follow us on social media Tell a friend Keep drinking Or keep not drinking And you know

Enjoy your life folks Yeah I think I got Arlington in may i got atlantic city coming up on the virginia atlantic city yeah i got some more coming up and more will be added so you know keep uh keep checking the website we'll post about that shit though but uh keep telling your friends about this podcast i feel like it's a great podcast so i hope you're enjoying it yes same here here