We Might Be Drunk - Ep 154: Jimmy Carr

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

Jimmy Carr joins us on this episode of We Might Be Drunk for a lot of laughs and a lot of peeves. This is a wild one and happy to share, join us this week and please leave a review on your favorite podcast app. Jimmy Carr - https://www.jimmycarr.com/ Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/ Mark Normand: https://marknormandcomedy.com/ Shop: https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod Bodega Cat: http://www.bodegacatspirits.com  We Might Be Drunk is produced, recorded and edited by Gotham Production Studios. Head producer: Matthew Peters https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ If you want to start a podcast contact [e-mail] for a discount on services when referred by WMBD! Support the show & get up to 50% off Beam Dream Powder at https://www.shopbeam.com/DRUNK Support the show by going to https://displate.com/wmbd?art=6247414ceddb3 & use code DRUNK to get up to 30% off.

Hey, hey, folks, here we are. We might be drunk. We got a hot guest. He's on his way in from across the pond. I don't want to give anything away. All over the states, too. He's hanging. Oh, he's international.

You look at those dates. We think we're cool. It's like, hey, Australia, Cleveland. This guy is Munich North Pole Wuhan Hamas you name it that's not a place

that's not a place no one's gonna say this from the sea to the ocean whatever the hell the term is what is it from the sea

to the cunt I can't remember C section who knows from the river to the river what the hell's going on here alright

meanwhile we're sitting with the king of New York here. No, no. Oh, that's right. Just played MSG coming up. I'm going to see theater. It was fun. It's a fun night, man. Hell yeah.

Went to the- Sold it out. Got to see the Knicks locker room, the Rangers locker room. It had the catering in because Pink was playing the big room. So there was catering in the- You're just hanging by Jalen Brunson's locker and there's like tuna subs and shit nice but uh yeah it was crazy man it was it was fun fun night marlon craft your boy did a set he was great hell yeah musician marlon craft soulful jazz rap oh i love that new york wears a walt clyde Frazier jersey on stage. Then we got Joe List and Will Silvinsted sets.

Hey. Yeah, and then Wild Night had a crazy ex toss from the- Wait a minute. You had an ex-girlfriend toss from the show? From like 15 years ago. I knew it was her heckling. I didn't say- She was heckling?

Yeah. Crazy ex is the key here. Yeah. What a window. Your ex gets to see you at a sold out garden. You do a bit. She gets tossed. It's not a win because I'm going to have to get a restraining order.

Oh, it's that crazy. There are times when you're young where you're like, well, maybe this won't work out, but not to that extent. Man. You don't think like maybe I'll have to show a judge text messages. You just think maybe I'll have to see a judge text messages. You're right. You just think maybe I'll have to see other people. Sure. To hang other judges.

I made out with a girl in front of my ex once. To me, I thought that was a win, though. But this is pretty good. It's not a win. It's a lot. Walk me through getting her removed. My agent. Well, my agent.

No, I have a joke. I had a long bit about her I didn't do out of respect because she sent me a million texts. I didn't answer saying I'm coming with my mom. So I'm like, let me not not let me not do this bit and then um I do a joke that's not even about her obviously but I say well I guess she could assume it's about her but it's not I say you know I've never dated a woman with a good father that's the setup and she goes hey oh my hey so I knew it was her yeah hey I'm like look that so i kind of diffuse it pretty quickly i mean like am i getting heckled by a fucking manatee meh and uh and i'm just trashing

her and whatever and berkowitz my agent who's you know he's a shark he runs out there and goes shut the fuck up whoa they're like you know blown away and he goes if you don't if you don't leave right now you will be arrested and she goes who are you and he goes paul he made up a backstory and uh he goes my name is paul and then i guess he nodded to another security security guard my lawyer just two medium-sized jews yeah but uh msg security threw me out a long message whatever and uh do you have a code you know get uh get a drink or whatever no that's i think derosa's code yeah i think that's the standard get this person a drink no and also i didn't even do it i was just annoyed because i was like oh it's just like i just let me just get to this bit yeah so i just usually i'll entertain

a heckler and i'll fucking slam them but i was like i know who this is they're not right in the head this is gonna go badly so what's the mom doing is the mom they're going i think apologizing okay at least the mom's saying yeah i mean yeah it was it was nutty but yeah the night as a whole was was killer you know the seller You know, the cellar staff was there, Esty, Gnome, Val, Liz, everyone. Yeah, wild night. Really fun. Hell yeah. I puked. Nice.

I didn't drink that much. I think it was a combo of the booze and the stress levels. Sure. But, yeah, I was down for the count. It was multiple middle-of-the-night wake-up pukes, which that's always unpleasant. Ooh, damn, I haven't had one of those in years. It was rough. Yeah.

It wasn't good. So now you've got no sleep and you're yakking. Not good. Yeah, rough Sunday. But what are you going to do? I'm having naches. What? That's for pride.

I'm so proud. Oh. I feel so good. You played the fucking garden. I thought this left my body that night. Jesus Christ. What the hell are you using? I hope a paraglider comes in and shoots you. Jesus Christ. What the hell are you using? I hope a paraglider comes in and shoots you.

Jesus Christ. What the hell was that? Anyway, I'm really, I'm really. Oh, thank you, buddy. Yes. It was a fun night. It was cool to see your parents happy. Brother and sister didn't come.

Did a joke about that. Oh, really? Because they were running the marathon the next day. So I said, my dad writes an email. All three of you have a big weekend. I go, fuck you. It's my weekend. Hey. Hey, Jimbo. Jimmy, an email. All three of you have a big weekend. I go, fuck you. It's my weekend. Hey.

Hey, Jimbo. Jimmy, join us. I can't believe your luck. How are you? How are you, man? Good to see you. How are you? Hey, good to see you, man.

Looking sharp. That's you. I mean, you come on, we might be drunk. You come. Don't dress up. This is huge. Oh, yeah.

This is my big break. Good to have you. You've been doing the pod run lately i see yeah i did a couple i mean they're very fun yeah sure it's a really kind of interesting thing now where people go i'd rather do this than you do the tonight show no one calls no this is winning i don't know joe rogan or modern wisdom or whatever and they're like people go yeah that's good oh yeah this is way better it's more authentic you know we're not just going to fake laugh and you don't have to sit next to it. You're not going to fake laugh.

We'll give you a few. Well, I'll go. We'll get the ball. There you go. All right. You got one. Yeah, no, it's very nice to see you, boys. You too, man.

It's weird that thing of like the job that we do as well. It's like stand-up comedy is kind of self-assignment. You kind of do it yourself. Sure. And you've got all the control. And then there's that weird thing that happens when you start working with producers. If you, you know, where you go,

I don't know, I'm waiting around for someone to give me permission. Yes. And then you sort of do the podcast thing just seems to fit with what comics are. You go, no, I'll just do it myself. I don't have a boss. I remember Bill Burr,

I think when Louis got cancelled, Bill Burr sort of saying, well, I've got to cancel me. What are they going to do? Take away my garage? My podcast in my garage. Yeah. Good luck, fellas.

It makes sense. I mean, I had just had the agent meeting of like, what's next? What are you working on? What's your passion? And I'm like, oh, I'm doing it. I know that's a bummer, but this is stand up. I think it fits into that whole thing of like, I'm getting quite stoic in my old age. I'm trying to do less better.

Just be a stand up. I've been doing that for years but that thing of like when you're trying to write a sitcom you're on the road and you're trying to write a movie or something in the background you go oh this is taking all of that mental energy right and the only thing that's ever grown corn for me is writing jokes that's how i feel but that's we've talked about this a lot is you know i'm sorry no no no no i, if it's boring, no, stop. Fuck, you know, this guy. I agree with what you're saying, but also, like, I do, I grew up loving movies. I do want to do that as well. We're working on a movie.

We're working on a movie right now. We're trying to write one. Oh, I don't think I'm not. I've got one, I think, in pre-production. But, I mean, but the side hustle, the amount of energy that that takes. And the meetings. And the, they can meet next month and oh they got to meet in two months and and so now we're waiting two months before we can even get any the whole

business has been on strike it doesn't feel that different not for a comic it doesn't for like movies and stuff but that that thing as well with it i think i sort of view those as lottery tickets right so you're a stand-up that's your job sure and then the like the little side hustle thing of like you go yeah but i'll i'll throw something in the ring but you're it's not taking a huge amount of you realize this is your main job yes that's like a little hobby the movie business front it's not really our thing what's the movie about what are you writing a movie about uh we want to keep it on the dl for now because it's it's it's a long process here but uh two girls one cup two yeah right ah four girls eight cups yeah insane it's a lot of feces um the i think how is that we keep it clean how is that a reference

to pg everyone gets wow it's a very popular film yeah sure i don't know if everyone gets i think like i don't think my mom would get it but i think she would just be like oh that's funny i would like you know i don't think everyone gets well that's how you test if it's a good mom if she knows that movie like oh she's fucked the mailman or whatever yeah i mean if your mom was in that movie that's someone's mom that's someone's mom that feels like well one died one of the gals this guy's a fan oh yeah i know the whole you know what's as well it's crazy she died she was making you by a lot of people you realize someone has just had to google two girls, one cup and gone, oh no. Oh, they've Googled it.

It's one of those ones where it fills in when you write half of it. I could never watch it though. I could never sit through it. Pull it up. No, don't put it up. I'm joking.

I'm joking. It's a terrible Wikipedia. But one died. Hang on. It was already in your search history. See? How did she die?

Shame, presumably. Presumably shame is actually something shame is actually diet i don't know now it's actually she had a shitty diet there it is yeah um already logging off okay that was a long joke is this dog day afternoon or yeah hey okay i mean hell of a movie right looks like they were on they were on trans about what, 40 years ahead of everyone else? Like Jim Norton. Like Jim Norton, yeah. And in a pretty progressive way.

Like, there aren't cheap jokes about it. It's just kind of like, yeah, that's who I like. Right. That looks like me after my set last night. Yeah, it's a remarkable movie. I read that movie, that book. Actually, before coming on, I was, like, thinking about, oh, okay, I'm just going to have recommendations.

People talk about movies. I read the tarantino book uh cinema speculation over the summer and i basically stopped watching new movies oh i'm just watching 70s movies now i really recommend like you go it's the best decade for for music and for film and i think it's maybe analogous to what comedy is doing now because comedy is the companies didn't get involved. Yes. The corporations didn't get involved yet. So in the 70s, it was kind of auteurs doing their thing. Yes.

Art without committee. Let them go. That's why Curb is so good. Just let them go. Yes. He's got that status where he can do whatever he wants. It kind of started like late 60s, I think, when you had like Bonnie and Clyde and like The Graduate. I would say that all fits into that kind of 70s. Yeah, late 60s, I think. Sure. When you had like Bonnie and Clyde and like The Graduate. I would say that all fits into that kind of 70s.

Yeah, late 60s, early 70s, yeah. It's kind of great. And he's like, the Tarantino book as well. If you get like the audio book, I love the audio book. I mean, we spend our lives traveling, so it's just listening. Yeah. But Tarantino reads the first like five chapters, and it's so, you're just caught up in this guy's like passion. Yeah.

It's so fucking great. He's such a nerd. He loves it. Okay. I love it. I could listen to him all day. Huge fan. caught up in this guy's like passion yeah it's so fucking great he's such a nerd he loves it okay i love it i can listen to him all day huge fan i heard him talking about the movie thief the other day and just just hearing him talk about other movies he loves yes like you're right it's so contagious his passion and and he's talking about how wet the streets are in that movie i love just like oh little things like that he goes yeah michael mann would walk around with a water truck

and dampen the streets so it looked like gritty in detroit yeah the little things yeah you kind of would go well why do that yeah i have to think that when they've got an establishing shot that clearly cost a fortune you go ah we could have lived without that right but then it's just a play but then but then it's a part of the movie in a way where you're like i mean i was watching a woody allen movie the other night uh sweden lowdown and you're like just these cars like woody allen movies seem pretty low budget just these cars in a period piece cost so fucking much oh yeah the detail it's crazy yes it's weird as well where you kind of i think you can slightly spoil it for yourself by knowing too much about the production yeah rather than be kind of taken

away agreed you want to be lost in it but then you hear about these tarantino weird movie like this apple cigarettes and he has all these connections from movie to movie. And you think, does that help the movie or does that just show how psycho detailed he is? And that's why they're good. You see what I'm saying? Which one is it? Yeah, he's created a whole world that he's into, like an alternate universe. Right. I mean, that thing about Inglourious Basterds, I mean, spoiler, but the Inglourious Basterds and the Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which I watched.

And obviously, I watched it as a guy that's, I've read a lot about those murders. And so you're watching the whole thing with this sense of sort of horrible anxiety about, oh, what's going to happen? And then it doesn't. Yeah. It's like the genius of it. It's a twist. Yeah. It's like the genius of it. It's a twist. Yeah. It's like a bit.

Once Upon a Time in Nazi Germany was the original title, and it got shortened to Inglourious Bastards. And if you notice in both movies, he sort of makes up the ending like a storybook. Yeah. Alternate ending. Alternate ending, yeah. Wow. Yeah, I mean, I remember seeing Inglourious Bastards in the theater, and people were just applauding that Hitler was getting shot. And you're like, what a fucking weird movie going moment

where would you have to see that movie that they didn't get how deep in the South did you have to go before the hero dies or Palestine but yeah we saw Django in the theater and we were like look at these white people getting shot because you're so wrapped up in it that you're just like

yeah kill the honky it's extraordinary he does feel like he gets permission. He gets like, he has that kind of... He's got a little backlash. The curb status, but I think he's able to kind of... Sure.

...go through it. It's a weird thing. Like, some people are grandfathered in. Yeah. And actually, if you had to go through committee, what you can say on television now in a late night set or whatever,

you know, you just, they go, no, no, you can't say that. Exactly. It's nothing. But people kind of... it's a weird thing. I think like comedy lives in that space between public and private discourse. How do people really speak?

That's good. How, how like they speak on TV. No one speaks like that on, you know, you watch people on Good Morning America. No way. Well, no one's having a conversation like that. No, it's all HR over there. And later on, we'll be baking cookies. Join us later on.

We might be drunk. We've got traffic and travel in a minute. For example, the pumpkin spice latte's back. It's just, what? Yeah, we're making cider. South Park is grandfathered in.

If you start in the 90s, you can kind of still get away with doing the shit they've done. But it's very few people can get away with it. It feels like a family guy as well. Yeah. Just the writing on that are fantastic.

So many jokes. They've got a great podcast. Have you listened to that? No. Another, a typically disgusting display. Seth MacFarlane? No, no, it's not Seth MacFarlane. It's the writers on it.

It's The Sulk. Oh, Sulk's funny. I mean, just so good. Great podcast. It's by writers for writers who hate writing. It's a great podcast. Yeah. A typically disgusting display.

Fantastic podcast. I'd really recommend it. Okay. I'll check that out. Really fun. Just such funny boys. They do Johnny jokes at the beginning. They make themselves do Johnny Carson style jokes.

Oh, like a monologue. Because they go, look, we're writers. And it's comics as well. You start off like reverse engineering. how do i write jokes yeah and then you they just like go okay well let's just do it every week as an exercise we're at five each hell yeah it's really good and they're sometimes terrible and sometimes magnificent sure that's some i mean sometimes i'll just write headline jokes just to like get the engine going yeah and you kind of that thing of like that muscle of i'm working on i think at the moment where i'm i'm like i'm trying to do a writing course to teach people how to write jokes

because it feels like it's a bit of a lost art it feels like people are there's a bit too much magical thinking about it where people kind of go oh well it just comes to me and you like it's like people that play music and they don't know how to read music you can write it's better if you can read it it's better if you know it is the know how to read music. Right. It's better if you can read it. It's better if you know what the terms are, how to do it. Yeah. The fundamentals, that thing of like getting back to headline jokes, you kind of write those and you're kind of in that spin. So then when something happens in life, you're kind of, you're thinking in joke formats.

That's so cool. Because remember when you started, you were so lost. You were like, how do I do this? You'd read joke books, you'd watch comedians, but that was about it. There wasn't really a tutorial or anything. It was slightly that kind of myth of, oh, he's a genius. He's a funny guy. He's just a funny guy.

He's just, oh, wow, that guy's just a genius. No, he sat down and wrote that. Exactly. Chris Rock is, I would say, the goat. For me, the greatest ever. We're fans. And you go, you look at his material, and you look at an hour special, and you go, yeah, there's seven hours that didn't work.

Yes! That you can't see. Exactly. That he tried in front of an audience and went this is going to be good and it didn't work and you know you don't get to see the working out yeah thing of like the reverse engineering we do see it sometimes at the cellar because he and i love watching him at the comedy cellar because he just he doesn't do the loud kind of arena or theater chris rock voice he doesn't do that kind of like you know that sam kinnison almost slam dunking jokes he does he just like talks out jokes he's talking to this energy and that that's cool to watch but it's interesting that the um the thing i've kind of

been working on is the on performance is it's about 92 beats a minute he's perfect 92 beats a minute seems to be the right rhythm for speech if you're kind of hitting that word yeah i listen to a lot of songs that are 92 beats per minute pre-going on oh better show like that in the pocket of that rhythm seems to be where spoken word works whether you're doing comedy or giving a speech or whatever obama's about 92 beats a minute right well seinfeld has that rhythm where they might just laugh because he stopped you know what what I mean? It might not be a funny joke, but what's the deal with tables? And then they'll laugh.

I've done a thing where I'm doing two shows in a night and I do the wrong punchline for a joke. I've done it a handful of times, but every time I remember. And it often gets a laugh. It still works. Of course, because the rhythm of the show and people are laughing before they've...

Yes. Because it's such a social activity. But you feel like a fraud when that happens, right? Oh, I feel like, what are you people even doing? I know, I know. It feels like there's a glitch in the matrix. Yes, yes. Hang on, they would have laughed anyway.

I know, it kind of hurts. It's that thing of like, what laughter is. It's such a social noise. You could watch the best on your phone, on the bus, on the way to work, or on the subway. The best comic in the movie, watch Chris's last special. No, it's fun. It's good. It's great.

But you go and see it in an arena with 16,000 people. It's like, ah, you're laughing, and you've released the endorphin and the serotonin. It's like, it's the perfect, it's such a social thing, laughter. Yes. As opposed to like, it's my theory on why Thanksgiving or Christmas in the UK TV is the best. Because you watch it as a family. Oh. So that thing of like the difference between your favorite movie, best because you watch it as a family. So that thing of like the difference between your favorite movie,

like, oh, it's a Christmas movie. We love it. Watch it every year. And you watch it with five of your family and you all laugh together as opposed to the rest of the year you're watching on your own. It's so funny you say that

because I noticed commercials will get a laugh in a group. Commercials are the least funny thing on the planet. It's horrible writing. But you'll put like eight people together in a room and a commercial comes on that's humorous there'll be a chuckle but you would never laugh at that alone yeah it's also it's such a bummer that we don't like i think what you're saying we don't really see comedy movies in the theater anymore and some of my best memories are like wow why do i like the hangover so much i saw it in the theater

and a ton of people were laughing on a Friday on a Friday night. And it was packed. Yeah, it was great. That thing of like, if you see it, like, I remember my favorite thing about when I started comedy, when I like gave up the day job and was seeing movies in the day. I kind of used to love that thing of like going to the cinema. Love that. And it just felt like freedom to me. I was so into movies.

I remember I used to work and I used to put in meetings, like bullshit meetings. One at like 12 meetings uh one at like 12 noon and one at like two o'clock so i could go and see a movie in leicester square in london i just kind of come back to the office go yeah i had a couple of meetings i'm back yeah that's kind of do you remember the movies that you they went to see that would have been like uh i don't know like i'm just trying to think no i don't remember kind of love that freedom era yeah that that thing of like seeing them in the movies is like such a i don't know just feel special yeah and it's kind of empty kind of feel like you have it all to yourself yeah that's the best it's it's not quite the same as

live no i think there's a theory of you never forget who you've seen live good or bad like you like there's no sometimes you'll be halfway through a movie on a plane and go have i seen this like that back in amber a kind of nothing movie. But you see someone live. It's like it's forever. You remember that thing. It's such a big. I don't know.

I saw Cosby. I dozed. I forgot the whole thing. But. I saw Cosby live in Montreal about, it's got to be 15 years ago now. And it was a masterclass. No, he's one of the best. It was really interesting how long he left it between punchlines,

the kind of cadence of his speech. I mean, I think that thing of they did that documentary and someone had the great idea of going, the artist formerly known as Bill Cosby. Let's take, if you can't separate the artist from their work, really, what are you? But he was also, you're talking about music and beats per minute. Cosby was such a jazz guy too. Sure.

There is something musical about that oh yeah i think i think we're living in i mean for me or whatever i talk about this a lot but the that idea of like comedy is going through something very special at the moment we're so new this is such a new thing you don't think it's gonna burst the boom we're in i don't think it started oh i hope you're right i think chris rock is john the baptist i don't think jesus is even here yet oh i think it's like a different way of speaking. So that comedy course thing of like going teaching comedy, I think it's going to be, I think we should be teaching in schools.

Don't give it away though. You don't want these rubes doing it. This is all we have. Think about what does comedy give like a young person? Like you're trying to find your voice. Sure. Well, that's what the teenage years are about. Point of view if i like the idea like people saying you know online i don't feel comfortable in my own skin as a teenager you go yeah that's what being a teenager is but isn't

that part of their lifestyle they have to learn that yeah but i'm saying comedy gives you that right i see we sort of go through that as comics you sort of find your voice you didn't find your style immediately and it kind of found you you didn't choose to be the kind of comic that you are right yes liners and stories and it's just you are what you are sure like i'm better at jokes than i am at stories yeah i try and write more stand-up now to kind of work that muscle but it's like it's not it doesn't come as naturally as jokes for me but it's like you find your voice and then it's about performance and and being able to communicate with other people like there's so many things that young people need i i think it's like you find your voice and then it's about performance and and being able to communicate with other people like there's so many things that young people need i i think it's be a legit after-school activity i think it's interesting i would also throw this in the ring

and i don't know how you feel about this but i took an improv class in college and i'm not an improv guy but i would go talk to girls at bars and boy did it help or you go to a job interview and you want to just be able to go back and forth with the uh the boss i think an improv class could could uh comfort yeah it could teach some kids something yeah it's like it's that kind of self-confidence it's also like yes anding it's perspective right it's a lot of perspective is comedy it's like you step back from the awkward thing and go this is going to be a funny story later on i can see there's a bit of perspective right right the lack of perspective is where you get kind of that anxiety. Do you think anything has to do,

because you say it's a sliver of window between what people actually think and what we're supposed to say? Was that what you said? Do you think there's anything to the, we don't go to movie theaters anymore and laugh. This is a way to connect socially again. We're all on our phones.

We're all up our ass. We're all on apps. I mean, the comedy seller thing is, you know, everyone has to put their phone in an envelope. Yes. And they're annoyed by it. But I love it too. And it's so good for them.

It's so good for them. Even that bit before the show when they have to have a fucking conversation with their friend or their date. And go, what's up? And you see people in restaurants now and they're both on their phone Googling. And you go, they both want to be here. But they're both desperate for that dopamine hit and the new the new i once saw a guy walk into the cellar and put a decoy phone into the envelope and then he had another phone or maybe he just had two phones i don't know yeah two phones that

is that that is a drug dealer or a pimp yeah right what's the second phone for yeah never you mind his other family i don't know yeah exactly but you're right but i other family. I don't know. Yeah, exactly. But you're right. But I think younger people, I don't want to generalize, I think they have one inkling of discomfort and then they go to this. It's like a pass fire. So I think if you can get over that, maybe that's why the crowd work thing is so big right now. It's the only time you interact with somebody. Yeah, that thing of, I don't know,

it's that thing like boredom doesn't get enough credit boredom my childhood was full of boredom and you'd wait for the tv show and you sort of think about the thing you remember is i don't know whatever you watch when you were a kid the a team and you'd be watching that and if you missed it you missed it and it was a moment in time but you don't think of the boredom before and after right but actually that boredom is kind of where your creative yes line comes from like the the gift of boredom is huge with writing jokes be bored be bored more often well you have to let your mind wander and then that thing of like anxiety doesn't get the credit it deserves yeah anxiety is a huge part of my kind of creative process because that thing of like if you go if you've got your mind whirring the whole

time i'll write jokes yeah that's something to do with your mind. Right. If four in the morning when I'm not thinking about jokes, I will just – I'll go into kind of just thinking about what's the worst case scenario. What's the worst thing that could happen in the world? I'll be creative about that. It's also stress. I mean sometimes you're stressed about something. The thing passes and then it's like the floodgates open.

You're like joke, joke, joke or premise at least something you know i mean i remember louis once said to me he calls the phone the pipe he's like put down the fucking pipe the jokes are written in the abyss you have to be lonely you have to be isolated and i do think there's truth to that oh yeah he's really he's really jumped into that yeah the pipe the um yeah it, it's interesting, that thing of like, I mean, it's always the thing, every self-help thing, it's always deferred gratification. Yes. We did a thing on holiday a couple of years ago,

which sounds really kind of, you know, me and the missus, like put the phones in the safe in the morning. You check Princess Diana hasn't died. You check the big. She died? Yeah. You've got to keep up the deco. You check, put it in the safe, and then you kind of have a look at six o'clock in the evening or we're in hawaii by the way your

phone and your gun in the safe yeah how dangerous it is well it feels like we're like sometimes when you sit down at a table like and everyone puts their phones on the table it does feel like the wild west yes totally and then when you're actually trying to remember the name of the movie or the actor without this guy googling it, you know. Yeah, yeah. It gives your mind. It's like a muscle. Totally.

I think people have that. There's that, what's it called? The Dunning-Kruger. You heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect? That idea that people think they know more than they know because Google gives them a false read on how much they know. So people don't know what they don't know. Right. And they think they know.

Yeah. So people don't know what they don't know. Right. And they think they know. Yeah. So people being experts. You know, if you ask an expert on anything, they go, oh, it's really complicated. Right. But if you ask a cab driver, they go, real simple. Here's what we're going to do with the economy. True. True.

But the cab driver thinks he's dumber than the other guy. But yet he knows more. One of these OnlyFans stars are putting together the uh fucking middle east solution she hasn't reconciled with her fucking dad but she's got a two-state solution you know they all got an opinion everybody's got an opinion yeah without the research but have you heard that that experiment about the leaving people in a room alone with a buzzer and it shocks you and if you leave someone in a room long enough they'd rather be shocked than feel the boredom. So they'll just hit it just to feel something and do something and have something happen rather than just sitting there having their own thoughts.

I mean, solitary confinement is the ultimate punishment. Right. Well, electric chair than solitary. Yeah. I think solitary is like, I think if we had to do it i think we'd come out with a with a one-man show don't threaten us with that i think give us a comedy show at least well the one-man show i was chatting to mike publicly about this and he made a great point about how a one-man show like a really thoughtful what like okay it's a comedy special oh no it's

a one-man show that what's the difference two moments where you tell the truth two moments where you go there's no punchline at the end of this i'm not undermining the thing i'm just gonna tell the truth about this moment that's that's enough that'll that's a one-man show okay it's interesting that thing of like you don't have to give that much right in terms of like a heartfelt moment to for it to kind of really i see what you're saying it's emo comedy yeah that's what it is that's kind of an oxymoron but yeah that's a good point more punchlines that's what we need thank you i'm a fan i mean mark and i were like you know club comics always we it was always like you know i

feel like the alt rooms gave you a longer leash but i kind of liked having a short leash i liked having to like be like bam bam like i i felt uncomfortable if i wasn't getting a laugh yeah i think that like that fastball thing of like i'm all fastballs yeah and that thing like you you can you earn a story or i think you earn a point as well you can make a point if you have like if the punchline is big enough at the end and you've got like there's a reason to say it and and audiences are really smart like they they get what's okay he's saying something here and this is just a silly joke. Like they get it. I think people kind of, like when you read, like when someone gets canceled or whatever over a joke, this is some nonsense.

The audience knew what was going on there. Right. There's no hate in that. This is fine. Yeah. It's like that Bill Burr thing. You're mad about the joke, but they put the joke on the news. They were in a comedy club knowing it was jokes.

Now you took it out. on the news they were in a comedy club knowing it was jokes now you took it out big difference between telling a joke to a theater full of people at nine o'clock in the evening and shouting it through someone's letterbox yeah at 9 a.m which is what's going on on jesus exactly actually i think the last two or three times i got cancelled and there's been many occasions you kind of look at the joke written down in the paper and go gee who said oh i know i said that right that seems a bit much well it's the same as going to a porno theater or a sex show and then showing the sex show on tiktok like jesus christ but in there it was supposed to be there i had a woman write a hit piece on me once

and she quoted one of the one of the bits the only bit she quoted properly i was like i think it holds up in text yeah that's a good sign i'm not isn't it weird there's no like comedy doesn't we don't have books. Like there isn't a book of your material. Oh yeah. No one's done like a. Carlin did it. I think Seinfeld did it too. But like it was like.

Mein Kampf. There was, I mean, you get to a. Sorry. You get to a level of, I loved Sarah Silverman's bit on Mein Kampf. Hit me with it. In the last special, she goes, my struggle. That's what it's called. My struggle.

I'm struggling. It's like a new take on that right after how many jokes about hitler he's a victim he's a snowflake that's hilarious my gag on hitler was uh yeah you know not not all bad he did kill hitler i mean you give credit where credit is due that's great if you killed hitler you'd never stop talking about it that's true be your whole thing. Right, right. Dana Gould is a great, you saw the Dana Gould bit about Hitler? No, what's Dana Gould?

About how he was married for just a few minutes and then killed himself. Marriage is hard. I've got a line in the new show about how people get more right wing as they get older. It's a good thing Hitler died when he did. Why was he going? Right. My Hitler bit was, I thought he was great. All right.

That was it. Joking. Joking. But the fact you have to say joking is like. I know, but there's a couple idiots out there. But that thing of like, this is kind of great. Like the stand up thing for you guys. It feels like you guys, since I last saw you, actually, I haven't seen you since pre-pandemic but it feels like both of you have like like

popped oh thanks i feel like the last specials were the the one that got you did the one on youtube that got transferred to uh netflix right no i did another one on netflix i did a youtube one but that first one was like that felt that felt like that was like the level up and then the not a lot of great thank you man not a lot of people put specials on youtube at the time and But that first one was like, that felt like that was like the level up and then the other one. Not a lot of people. Thank you, man. Not a lot of people put specials on YouTube at the time. And I mean, February 2020, a lot of people are home, you know, for the next few months.

No, but I don't think anyone watched it because they were home and there was no other media available. I think it was like a really good special. That's what it was, man. It's also because of YouTube, it's very word of mouth. Yes. Even more so than Netflix, you're It's also because of YouTube, it's very word of mouth. Yes. Even more so than Netflix. You're kind of watching on the phone or on the computer. So you're kind of messaging as you, oh, yeah.

Right. I'll forward that to my friend. It's an easier thing. It felt like it was something that kind of spread out there. And you get a little underdog. Soup to Nuts is fantastic. Oh, geez. But that really felt like, again, it's like, are you like theaters now?

Are you clubs? Theaters, baby. He just did the Garden Theater. Yeah, the theater. I played that once. It was phenomenal. Really? Yeah, it was a cool night.

But, you know, I'm going to go bouncing seats, right? I mean, it's like a proper thing. Sold it out. Yeah, I'm going to hit clubs for like December through February just to tighten it for another special. But, yeah, it's been theaters all year. Yeah, it's kind of amazing. Have you guys gone out together?

Because I noticed a couple of people did a thing. We dated once. John Stewart and John Mulaney went out. And Pete. Yeah. I saw that. And you kind of think it's quite an interesting thing to kind of go, there's no one that likes your stuff that will go,

I like him, I hate him. It feels like it would be an interesting thing to do. I get that request a lot when I do Q&A. They're like, bring Sam out or how come you don't do a show with Sam?

And it's just because we don't have to split the money. I wonder though of like, someone like Jon Stewart, Pete and Mulaney. It's like three different kind of generations of comedy. You know?

So I think that might tap into something different for them. I don't know. I just think it's that thing of like, it's a, oh, he's on in town. I might go and see that. Like, it becomes like, oh no, we have to go and see that.

Look at Seinfeld and Gaffigan. They're out together now. Are they? Yeah. I mean, that feels like an embarrassment of riches. Yeah. I mean, but I sort of hear that and go, yeah, no, I mean, you'd have to go and see that.

Yeah, clean comedy baby do you ever do that with anyone i think i mean i would i certainly would i've been chatting to a friend about it recently like that thing of it's bigger than the sum of its parts is that thing if you go well maybe that's like an arena thing maybe that's you play a bigger room and go well it's a big event of an evening yeah chapelle and rogan did a few of those yeah i did like uh why did i do i saw chapelle in was it january february we were in australia together and we and i opened for him in uh and the rod laver arena he did like in the round wow i mean an arena in the round so good really there's no bad seats yeah it's

slightly more expensive to organize but you go if you're in the middle it's like it's smaller than the garden really in every direction sure and you just kind of rotate. And it's the same number. It's three screens above you, and everyone's got a great view. Do you find it weird to rotate? Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. But you get used to it real fast. All right.

First time I saw you, I think, was on the game show Distraction. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was a funny show. But they did a thing on Distraction where they did the American version. They took out all the funny and just did the game show. In the UK version, it was like a really funny show. I mean, you got your lines. That is my point.

It was crazy. It was the, oh, look. Wow, this is going to be some years ago. What year? 13 years ago, it says on YouTube. But who knows when they uploaded it. I think it was a lot longer than that. Wow. Wow. 13 years ago, it says on YouTube, but who knows when they uploaded it. I think it was a lot longer than that.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Baby face. Yeah. Jimmy Kimmel looks terrible. Oh, let's stop this. That's a good joke.

Yeah, solid. It's a lot of, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I made a lot of telly over the years. That always felt like a side hustle. Sure. TV feels like someone else is going to make a decision. Yeah.

Yeah, we've had enough of you. Right. Right. I'll just stand here. Because that thing about the cancellation thing is all about stakeholders that's the key thing with cancellation who are your stakeholders who've you got like if your management walk out on you or the tv company goes we're not working with you anymore that's the cancellation thing yeah you don't want too much of that going on you want your own your own boss independent

yeah well that's why we work with writers sometimes i can tell the writers like oh what are you crazy and i'm like that's a great line they're like yeah but we can't i'm like oh you have a job you have a boss you have a tax return and all that like we are so connected to the audience we're like no that line killed in pittsburgh and you can't fucking put that out there i'm like no i already did it's done it's out there it's on the internet yeah i have a i'm doing a fallon at some point and they're like oh, oh, you got to cut that. You got to cut that. I'm like, I'm just not going to do it. I mean, these lines murder.

I put them in because they work. So what's the point of me making it worse? Late night sets have gotten harder, for sure. Just getting jokes approved. I mean, you've done so many. I find, I mean, I've done a lot. I haven't done one recently, but the late night, I tend to get like, I do it when I, if I have a new Netflix, you do like a

Fallon, whatever. Sure. It's such a thrill to do those shows. It's fun. But you go. Showbiz. Out of an hour, I can maybe get five minutes of clean stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, you go, cause I don't really write that stuff a lot because you, you go, well, you sort of go to where, you know, you want, you want ants put down sugar, you know, what's the reward? And the reward is the big laugh, the big guffawing. I shouldn't't be laughing at that but i'm laughing at that it's such a sweet laugh yes and you go well you can do stuff that's more family friendly occasionally you come up with something that's just would work but it's not really my sense of humor right but it's almost kind of an exercise like let me see if i can dodge these laser beams and still kill so it's kind of an

exercise but it's also like yeah is this what's the point i'm not being me yeah so i don't know maybe i'll work around it who knows when have you got it when have you well it's just we're still in the in the the material phase of like cut that keep that and so i'm still massaging it but it makes you just want to drop it all when they're like that's not gonna that's not gonna fly and i'm like it's a joke about homeless people. They're like a homeless people might hear it. I'm like they're not gonna hear it Okay, most they could lip-read Through a Radio Shack window can you say homeless anymore? It's like it's it's unhoused unhoused who knows so condescending to yeah I thought they were changing changing the words as well doesn't make any difference. It's like no Changing the words as well doesn't make any difference.

No. I've seen homeless people. They're not politically correct. No. I had a line about the PC thing doesn't get to the underlying issue. Yes. It's just virtue signaling. So if you go, oh, it's really diverse around here. Lock the car doors.

Is like that's as bad. That's the most racist. Sure. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't make it better. It doesn't make it better. Like a sex worker. I'm still peeing in her mouth you know just calling her a sex worker isn't gonna help this help this poor woman's situation god love her oh yeah sweet gal miss your aunt rose but uh yeah nice lady best line on that um uh patrice god rest his soul had the

best line on that like he found out he was diabetic oh yes from peeing in his girl's mouth tastes like birthday cake yeah sorry your pee tastes like birthday cake you gotta go and see a doctor

it's like that is that's real love birthday cake is so funny I listened to Mr. P recently so good so good yeah I got to work with him a little bit in Montreal

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Which is one of my faves You know I love Rodney It's a cool gift Check it out But so fucking good Oh yeah Did you guys get along? Yeah

I mean great I think it was Like a different Worlds colliding You know Sure I was pretty Pretty new

And kind of doing A nasty show thing And it was He was Yeah Who else was on the nasty show With you guys different worlds colliding you know it's kind of sure i was pretty pretty new and kind of doing a nasty show thing and it was he was yeah who else was on the nasty show just who else was you know he moved to england it was like moved to england for three years because he said he wasn't hitting in america and he's like i just need to go to england just to work out yeah it's an interesting thing that i i think when if comedy ever gets you know we got the best job in the world but sometimes you you don't realize because you're doing it every day sure so that thing of like traveling more is i don't i kind of the american comics i think are slightly they wait till they're really high status to go

out to the rest of the world but go early you think like you can't sell tickets it's hard with the flights and the hotels i think it's i think you can sell tickets now i think it's like there's a weird thing where you go there's a there's a certain thing about the podcast and the Netflix thing. It's gone global. So you can Yeah, but those new comics aren't on Netflix and the podcast. Well, I'm saying you guys should be traveling the world. You guys should be doing Europe, Australia.

Australia's amazing. Where are you going? Where are you playing? Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide. That's it. Right, yeah. I did it in January, February. Great crowds. It's unbelievable. It's so great great you're gonna have a blast i'm nervous the flight stresses me out you get the business class here 20 something hours yeah are you stopping on the stopping on the one stopping in uh i believe san francisco that's what i did i did it one once the first time i ever went i was kind of nervous about that so So I flew from London to Vegas, two, three days in Vegas, which is all you ever need in Vegas.

Yeah. Because it's the same day again and again. Oh, yeah. And then flew to Hawaii, had like four days in Hawaii. Jesus. And then flew to Australia. It was like the per... Because there's no jet lag.

Right. It's all kind of eight hours, eight hours, eight hours. They tried to get me to stop in Hawaii, but I'm on the road so much this year. I was like, let's just... I'm going, I'm coming back. I need some time in new york and maui's not what it used to be what's the so how long you go for you're gonna like 10 days that's a pretty short trip that is short whoa 11 maybe i don't know wow you're getting in and out it's like a heist i'm just gone every week i just if i can if i can get like another week in new

york i just need i'm i'm never here yeah it's it's a weird thing when you're i mean i've got kids now so it's that thing of like trying to tour in a different way so you get more time when you want i mean it's great for being because the uk i can kind of be home every night right even if you're you know manchester or newcastle wherever you can get back and be up with the kids but it's just it's a sleep deprivation game rather than I'm a flight away. Yeah. So it's a bit easier. I've started doing two shows a night as well every week.

I love two a night. Yeah, 7 and 9.30. I think it works for people as well. They're kind of that, you either get drinks and dinner before or afterwards. Right, right. Are you sleep deprived a lot? Yeah, I would say, yeah. Same.

Modafinil, I would strongly recommend. Oh, what's this? Because I can't sleep. Have you not heard of modafinil i would strongly recommend what's this because i can't sleep no okay so my friend with narcolepsy turned it on i am not a doctor this is not a medical recommendation we're just guys talking about pharmaceuticals just chatting modafinil is it was invented by the french military in the 70s so they were trying to come up with something that wasn't amphetamine to let their soldiers go for longer so like to go for 72 hours straight so they started using it with people with narcolepsy in the

in the late 70s early 80s and it's got no side effects it's not like coffee or you're not like shaky and jittery or whatever but you can just function for longer so if you don't sleep like when you get up when you wake up like 6 in the morning oh this is an upper yeah take 200 milligrams of that and then you're good for the day.

You can perform whatever you need to do for the day. But I can't sleep. This is going to ruin me. No, but if you can't sleep, you sort of do that and then you have

like a full day, great. And then you'll sort of sleep afterwards. I see, okay. It doesn't affect your ability. So have you got a sleep disorder or are you? I just, you know,

I don't know, I'm a mess. I think it's just doing shows at night, just adrenaline. You drink. Yeah. I think it's just doing shows at night, just adrenaline. You drink. Yeah. Yeah. It's a big thing, though.

Like, if you're not getting kind of eight hours, if you're not kind of properly, because all the REM stuff from sleep, all of the stuff that really does you good is between six and eight hours. Yeah. So it's like, it's that thing. If you're not getting eight hours, then you're not ever really getting that. I've drilling, like, for the last 14 months. Oh, I saw this.

Jack Hammering, I'm losing my mind. Are you not? I'm losing my mind. I mean, it's crazy. You're doing okay. You got a little bit of gold. Move. It's a beautiful apartment.

I bought it. You bought it? Yeah. They pulled the wool. It's like he married a trans person, didn't know it. Last minute. How long's it been? That's not the comment I would give.

How long's the building been going on? Apparently it's been happening for like three years. It's some corrupt city shit called Section 11 where I think construction companies just make a killing. Section is never good. C-section, Jewish section. So what are they building? It's trying to make sure the bricks along the, you know, because it's a crazy city lawsuit if a brick comes loose, falls and kills someone on the street. But I'm like, dude, three years you could build a fucking building.

What are you doing? So they're just jackhammering and it's. All right. Sorry. And we're back. It was a long story. And we're back. I farted on my girlfriend the other night and she goes you

know i don't want to date mark norman oh that should be a bumper sticker i think i think she probably does but but but that lack of like i they for whatever reason they weren't doing it today i'm in a great mood yesterday i was like i want to fucking kill myself it's crazy just lack of sleep is it dude sleep is everything it's there it's a superpower it is yeah it's tough it's uh by the way these hubermans all these guys are like you need eight hours of sleep if you don't get it you're gonna you're gonna die then he's like get up at 5 a.m you gotta get up at 5 start your day start working do a to-do list start working out like which one is it do i sleep for eight hours do i wake up at five well i think the waking up

at five is for the next day i think if you wake up at five? Well, I think the waking up at five is for the next day. I think if you wake up at five and have a full day, then the next night you will sleep. Do I go to bed at eight p.m.? Yeah, I don't know. It's tough. These guys, they're virgins. Yeah, it seems all of those guys get up very early. I'm not sure what that's about. Have you seen Mark Wahlberg's thing?

It's like... Oh, what, they're getting up in the morning and, yeah, but that's... And 30 minutes he's praying. Oh, bullshit. It's in the thing. I work they're getting up in the morning and, yeah, but that's... And 30 minutes he's praying. No! That's bullshit. It's in the thing. I work out, I pray for 30 minutes. I feel like he could cut out the praying. What are you, a Muslim?

Like, we're okay without the prayer. Come on. Pray at night. What's the difference? God doesn't care. I mean, yeah, the morning routine is, it's just to make everyone feel bad about themselves. That's what it is. That's what it is.

You get up, you write a novel, you do do your taxes you do 12 push-ups yeah and then you have a weird athletic greens i do i do that every day i have those i do too actually yeah wake up a little powder 2 30 you see these people are insane do they have wives i mean that's just jet lag isn't it he's just on a different time zone i hope he's basically living in the wrong time zone. He needs to move an eight-hour flight away. Yeah. All right, well, he looks different now, too. I think he needs some sleep.

Yeah. Are you like a big exercise guy on the road, too? You're thin as a fiddle. I can't exercise on the road. I've got like, if I'm at home, I can do it. But the idea of like someone going to the gym in the hotel, I think that's like a superpower. I'm like bringing sweaty clothes in your hand luggage. Ah, please. I can't do it yeah but the idea of like someone going to the gym in the hotel i think that's like a superpower i'm like bringing sweaty clothes in your hand luggage ah please i can't do it i walk a lot when i'm if i'm on the road walking huge just walking and kind of thinking that thing is

like that seems to be very good for you like the 10 000 steps thing seems pretty good and pretty easy to do especially if you're in a strange city yes i'll go out and i'll at least see it yes see what's going on and you got the audio book going and they say walking boosts creativity it boosts your mood it's great for you yeah it seems to be seems to be pretty good for you sorry exercising on the road just seems impossible is that a lot of your writing is just like because Norman paces yeah you just you white you do you sit yeah you do you do you want no I do I sit and do work when I'm kind of traveling on trains or planes or whatever. And that's the editing process.

So the writing is just whenever anything comes to you, when you're kind of walking around having lunch on your own. Me too. Constantly writing down ideas, thoughts. There's a thing. There's a thing. There's a thing. And then the editing or sitting down trying to work out, well, how does that work?

I've got like a couple of bits. I brought in a couple of bits. I know the podcast. well how does that work i've got like a couple of bits i i brought in a couple of bits i know the podcast but that thing of like things i'm trying to do at the moment yeah where i'm trying to get it uh to organize to yeah like trying to get it to like what it's a fun idea but it doesn't quite work you have to convey it to them in a comedic way you can't just say this thing happened like burbiglia has this great trick that i always use where he goes you're writing and he goes now where would you laugh and it makes you go oh shit i thought i was just a funny guy who could talk on stage but when you're actually writing and looking at what

you wrote and go where would you laugh it makes it real it's objective now it's not just when you try it on stage and you get the laugh in a place you didn't think you would get the laugh oh that's a bummer yeah i mean i mean, I'll take it. But sometimes it's good, though, because you're like, oh, well, you're just getting extra laughs, you know? Sure, but the ones you thought would hit didn't. And you're like, oh, I don't understand this art form. I've got a theory at the moment about body count.

I'm working on this bit about body count. So people talk about body count and the amount of people they've been with. Oh, yeah. And then it's not about that. If you want to moralize, I've got no problem with anyone's body count, but if you want to moralize, it should be about the rejection rate. Because if a girl is a 10, like a stone cold smoke show model, gorgeous, every guy she's ever met has hit on that girl.

Yes. Everyone. Right. So, and then she's got a body count of 30, but that's pretty, that's pretty, pretty good. Like great odds. It is hard to get in. She's Harvard.. Great odds. It is hard to get in. She is Harvard. Right.

Right? Whereas actually if a girl is a swamp donkey, a muntur, she's a three at best. Okay. Like a fucking horrible looking. And she's got a body count of five. She's not more. Only five guys ever asked. Everyone fucking got in.

Oh, that's a great point it's a kind of interesting like it's per capita yeah what's the what's the thing trying to find the right thing and i think that's like a joke that will that'll be built on phrasing yes it'll be the right term like you know sometimes it's like it's a joke and sometimes it's like a turn of phrase that's really sticky yeah that's a nice what's the term for ugly that's going to be the thing that's and then that thing of like going if if a girl is a if a girl is a 10 she's a smoke show she's gorgeous like a model like no one in here but you you've seen them there you go thing of like that extra laugh yeah like there'll be something along the way that gets

it i think it's like it's an interesting idea but it's not kind of there yet and it's longer form because normally i'm in such a rush to get to the punchline. That's long form for you? Because that feels pretty quick. Oh, no, that'd be- I've heard him do like- Wow. I've heard him do like, what, 20 word jokes?

Yeah. I mean, even like dwarf shortage. Yeah. That's- That's a little Brad Williams action. Yeah, that'll do. I got you. Oh, interesting.

I'm trying to blow out more, because my writing, it's so quick as well and it takes so long to write an hour well we had the thing we had an exchange when when soup to nuts came out because i'm just taped my special and i watch soup to nuts and we have the same joke and it's great it's like so we we have the same joke and it's really interesting because it's the same comedic i could tell we wrote it in pretty much the same way and yours is three words and mine is like the end of a bit and it's like really i've dressed it up right i've like i've so dressed up the bit yeah it's basically the same gag yeah it's good thanks well you know what we'll be we'll be we'll be in trouble when it will get trashed it'll be yeah this guy stole from me oh i can't wait i had it out first just saying but uh but yeah but no it's a year across the pond it's flattering

yeah it's uh it's it's good it's kind of it's normally annoying but i called you on my arc and i is it all right if i keep it in sure i had a similar thing you know danny jollis yeah he's a funny comic la guy he did a really interesting interesting thing with his last special where it's like a choose your own adventure. So he'll say like, teachers suck. And then I'll be like, or are they good? And you can choose which way he goes. So he writes a bit on how teachers are great and the other ones how they suck. And every premise he does both angles.

It's kind of interesting. I think in a great routine that you can kind of hit both of those things. Agreed. You can kind of go from each but also you know it's the best example of that the jim jeffries gun bit right it's like a 15 minute bit but he hits this angle that angle defends it hurts it it's great but he doesn't do guns are great i guess that's true you know i mean so it's like you know you can kind of have your cake and eat it a lot of the time as well because you kind of go well you have that joke as well. Sure. Yeah, it's probably why there's so many comics who are lawyers.

Demetri Martin, Geraldo, Al Lubell. Yeah, it's just pleading your case. Like, hey, I'm winning. I'm winning this. What was the bit? What, my bit? The Danny Jollism. Oh, we had a similar bit about how we're all trying to be inclusive, got to have diversity.

Danny Jollism. Oh, we had a similar bit about how we're all trying to be inclusive, gotta have diversity, but no one gives porn the love for how diverse it's been for decades. Interracial, gay, trans, lesbian, you know, midget, animal, all that. So he had a similar take, and I called him,

and I was like, is this too close? And he was like, ah, I think you're good. Yeah, I mean, as long as everyone's cool, as long as there's no kind of, oh, I think you straight lifted that. No. Right. It's obvious. Have you ever had a guy really lift from you?

Yeah. Blatant? Yeah. Like an old school comic in the UK did like a full bit of mine. But I think it's just, ah, I'll write something new. I write a lot of jokes. There was you. He stole 15 seconds.

Yeah. Your back's back yeah it is that thing as well where you kind of go it's like it's a big deal when you start out if someone takes a bit of your z yeah but then you if you're if you're writing enough if you're writing kind of a thousand jokes a year you get less precious about the material i think initially when you've got like your first 20 minutes it's so precious of course and then when you go well you you're you're the gun the jokes are the bullets and you have have to kind of disposable, you're kind of going. You've heard the Louis story with Dennis Leary.

Do you know that? I'm an asshole. That was a Louis bit. That was a Louis bit. And then Louis saw him do it, and Dennis Leary was a bigger comic in Boston, so he was like, oh, I guess he took that bit. That's gone. And then like 12 years later, they were on an O&A together,

and Dennis Leary just gave him 20 grand. And he was like, sorry about that. Did he really? Yeah, and Louis was like, all right. But he had to 20 grand. And he was like, sorry about that. Did he really? Yeah. And Louie was like, all right. But he had to just drop it. He was like, it was one of my big bits. And then this guy made a huge hit song out of that bit, and he just had to drop it.

And he did it with Bill Hicks. Oh. Dennis Leary. Yeah, the Bill Hicks thing is weird. There's a story about Bill Hicks at the very end, when he was dying, gave up smoking, like four weeks before he died and then went why are you

giving up smoking and he went well I figure if I do it Dennis Leary would do it giving the kid a break wow damn

pretty hot I mean that's good love it zinged him on the deathbed get the man a water whatever you got thank you Matt

Christ this guy's starry huge huge demanding it talking about the bits I'm working on what are you guys working on what bits have you got yeah thank you matt christ this guy's starring huge huge demanding it talking about the bits i'm working on what are you guys working on what bits have you got oh i got one i tried last night i'm like treading very cautiously with the stuff in the middle east but i tried one last night i think there's something here maybe about like look i'm a jew i mean it's a thing i know i could pass for both, but I am a Jew. And like, I have a thing about how like- Actually, yeah, I think they could all vote for you. Maybe you should be the leader

because really I feel like that could have gone either way. I'm covering the bases here. But the angle is like how, like, look, as a Jew, I have to admit we have a hand in the media and basically- I don't, I mean, I don't want to denigrate the podcast I'm currently on, but a hand in the media. Get over yourself.

I'm softening, I'm softening the setup, Jimmy. I'm softening the setup. They're controlling the media. This, my friend, is not Fox News. I think. What? You don't think we have some hand in the media? I'm saying you have more than a hand.

No, I'm saying this, this podcast. Yeah, it was. It was. Right, right. So. This is the power. have some hand i'm saying you're more than a hand no i'm saying this this all right no my podcast yeah it was yeah it was um so it is a little with the game quite right yesterday is like you will see like headline like on the news it'll be like you know 7 000 palestinian babies murdered and then like the lead story is man on the upper west side tears down a poster and you're like yeah both are bad right right one is one is worse yeah i mean but posters that is annoying like to go to kinkos you gotta fucking you know that's true tape is not cheap tape is

not cheap you gotta put it up yeah printer ink you gotta redo it tape is not cheap so this is like i think this is the start of something i think is there something on the posters yeah there's something on the posters yeah which is listen it's too soon and all that but at some stage someone could do something on the look i get it if your cat is missing you put up a poster yeah in the neighborhood yeah don't put it up six thousand miles away oh that's good help who's oh well i guess there's a missing person i'll look right but i'm on the upper west side i think if they're here they're safe yeah that's true yeah the the hostages is like i don't think we're going to run into them yeah but yeah yeah i don't know it feels like it's that thing where you go that there's there'll be

something that comes out of that and i always think jokes are a really good um uh barometer for what like the things you can't joke about like certainly in great britain if once there's been some level of justice once you're through something then the jokes you can kind of process it and if there's if something still feels like it's ongoing it's like it's difficult to kind of of course yeah no there's there's no relief laugh yet yeah so that's why i can't that's why it's like okay we'll see we'll do this one in a few months yeah Yeah, yeah. Hopefully, I mean, whenever fucking there's relief. That's one great thing about the internet is I have a couple Hamas Jewish bits, and in the room they're like, ah, and I put it online and they killed. No pun intended.

But it just blew up online. No pun intended. But it did great online because you don't have to worry about the guy next to you how you're reacting you know you can just enjoy it and i think there's something to that with darker jokes sometimes the internet is weirdly yes better and worse right because you do deal with the people that are like almost like walking in the room like what there's a little but you do get the people that are like oh this is my type of comedy yeah yeah it's like porn they can't look at it in the office,

but at home and shitting, they can look at it. Yeah. It's a weird one, isn't it? You've always got something that you go, right, you can't joke about this thing. Yes. Everything else in your set was fine,

but that joke was terrible. I always think when, you know, on the last special, whatever, I got in trouble for one joke and you go, yeah, but did you not see the rest of it? The 45 minutes leading up to that. Which was the one that got you in trouble.

It was a joke about. Gypsies? Yeah, a joke about gypsies. But I mean, it was like, it was a weird thing where you kind of go, you, you know, you tell a joke and it's about like, it's about the Holocaust

and flagging up the fact that, I said, you know, 6 million Jewish people died in the Holocaust. It's the worst thing that's ever happened. And no one talks about the hundreds of thousands of gypsies that died in the Holocaust because no one ever wants to talk about the positives. But it's that thing of like, it's so...

Pretty clearly, the joke is the misdirect also. But it's such a clear misdirect as well. But written down, it's like, oh, this guy doesn't care about gypsies you go no and also a lot of the people online i suspect did not know that the gypsies died in the holocaust or did not know that homosexuals or disabled people were killed in vast numbers by the nazis and it's and they're moralizing and they just found out from me and you go ah i don't fucking know well it's the Cecil the Lion people. It's like, you didn't give a fuck yesterday.

But today, this is like front page news for you. Yeah, I mean. That's hilarious. I forgot about them. I'm sure there are worse things in that special. I'm sure if you go through it, you go. Worst Holocaust joke ever. I think I've told you this before.

Junior Stopka. That is a good joke. It's a great joke. He's like, you know, there was a lot uh down syndrome people that were in the holocaust as well but there's no photos of them because they're all smiling it's a good bit that's a very good all right isn't it but a lot of the jokes i think your joke is about the misdirect and i think and like you know the right turn i remember it used to have a joke back in the day where i'd say you know my ex never made me wear a condom because she was on the pill ambien that was a joke yes but like there's a way

you could be like that's a rape joke it's about the misdirect of course also i must say that sam was heckled at msg this weekend by his ex from like 15 years ago yeah i told us before we got here. Yeah. What? Where? She was the one he ambient. No. What did I? My first ever Holocaust joke was the, they say there's safety in numbers. Tell that to six million Jews. That's fun. They're very clean.

I mean, it's one of those things. Joan Rivers had the best line on it. Joan Rivers was, I think she was doing like a casino show. And she told a Holocaust joke. And someone got up and walked out and made a real fuss of getting off from her documentary and she and she goes uh you say never forget this is how i remember oh and i think it's really true especially with what's going on in the world today you go no no joking about these things talking about these things how else are we going to remember it because on this podcast we're definitely not making serious points yeah those jokes are no

this the worst thing that ever happened lest we forget that's yes let's talk about it all the time we're bringing awareness I used to have a Hitler joke he was bad with money he didn't he was he wasn't good at saving and I was like man it's too bad there wasn't a group of people that could have helped yeah what's that great this is an old yeah no this is anonymous maybe you can find the guy who wrote this but uh he goes go dies in auschwitz goes up to heaven and he sees god and he goes god i got a i got a great i got a great holocaust joke and he goes uh it's not funny and he goes i guess you had to be there yeah it's trad it's an old trad joke it's a great joke trad yeah it's an old i mean that's an old joke it's been around since like the 50s that is

brilliant it's a brilliant line i think gervais tells it to seinfeld that's where i heard it that's where i heard it uh but it's a brilliant i had to pause it i was like it's like it's almost like it's one of those things where it's almost like uh you know sometimes you get a joke that's kind of got some wisdom in it i I guess you had to be there. Well, you took a stock punchline and you said something kind of deep. Yes, exactly. Which is kind of fun, too. But you're right. People pick and choose.

I did a joke in Kentucky with the R word. And this lady comes up. She's like, I have a Down syndrome, niece, blah, blah, blah. You got to take that out of your rack. And I go, how'd you feel about the Holocaust stuff? She goes, that I loved. So you're like're like oh it's just when it's your thing yeah it's yeah it's when it's your thing but also it's also that thing of you go it is the the release valve the amount of times you get people that the joke is ostensibly about something

and they're so glad to be recognized and you know if you great and people are going for relief right they're going they're going to escape. Yeah. They're going to a stand-up show. So when the one thing does land on them, sometimes they don't take it well. Sure. I mean, remember the Bill Burt thing on the morning show where she's like, do you really need to do the pedophile priest stuff?

And he goes, do you think the priest need to do it? Yeah. You know, like, I'm doing the joke. They're doing the thing. No, she goes, don't you think you went a little too far? That was it. Don't you think they went a little too far? That was it.

My favorite gag on that was the, why would you become an Islamic fundamentalist suicide bomber? On the off chance you might get 70 virgins when you die, become a Catholic priest and have them now. That's good. Fun. By the way, teachers fuck more kids than priests. Fun fact. Yeah. Take that to the bank.

We've seen this one. Yeah, we Yeah. Take that to the bank. That's just... You've seen this one? Yeah, we've seen it. Oh, this is great, too. This is a whole different thing. But it's just not related to what we're talking about. Yeah. She basically says they're women funny, and he's like, can you follow me? That's all you gotta worry about. Start your own shit. Stop worrying about

the industry. It's pretty great. Alright, I got a bit here. Go on. Alright, it's a two two-parter so feel free to kick me in the balls here on either part so my lady she's a real tomcat in the sack and she likes being insulted in the bedroom she's a real tomcat in the sack it's the early 50s yeah she's a real hot soda. I think Milton Berle has a similar dick. Go on. Different dick. But so she's feisty in the boudoir. She's fun in the sheets. But she likes being insulted in the bedroom.

But nobody told me that the insults are supposed to be sexy. So we're going at it. I'm like, ah, you can't cook. And that hits. And then she's like, what? I'm like, oh, yeah, you slut. And she's like, thank you. And I'm like ah you can't cook and that hits and then she's like what i'm like oh yeah you slut and she's like thank you and i'm like uh and that needs more i think but then i i flip and i go i'm the opposite i'm already too insecure i like being complimented in the bedroom but they're all she's very full of shit with her compliments she'll be like oh you're so huge and i'm so bad

at dirty talking i was like uh so are you. And that hits. But it just feels like two one-liners back to back. There's no real point to it. So it's hitting, but it feels like there's no meat to it. It's just two quick lines. Firstly, your girlfriend is dynamite in the sack. A real tomcat, I would have said. Oh, yeah. I think it's on the

insult isn't it so what's the insult what's what's the phrase you use what's the uh i say you can't cook no no but what's the what's the phrase that gets you into it so she likes dirty talk she likes to be like to be insulted in the bedroom but nobody tells you that the insults are supposed to be sexy so you can't just insult her sex she wants to be called a whore a dirty girl i think it's the i think you got it the wrong way around I think it's like you go, maybe, the whore and the dirty girl and bad girl, all that first. Yeah. And then you build up and you can't cook. Oh.

And you can't parallel park and you're... You talk too much. Whatever the thing is. Yeah, yeah. You don't make enough money. I'm really carrying this. Yeah. Keep going.

That should be the turn. Yeah, that should be the turn yeah that should be the turn oh okay because it's already because i think the dirty talk's quite funny of the you're a bad girl you're a bad girl feels like that could be the turn you're you're a bad girl i think right yeah your personal hygiene's not great that's a funny one yeah i think a different deodorant it's yeah but you're saying do all that and then the can't cook yeah i think that it's the build got it okay because i think that's quite funny to hear that kind of the dirty talk of what people say to each other in the bedroom is funny anyway because out of context it's just like oh that that line of the you know

whatever all right i'll try it tonight but then what's the what's the insult to you you want she compliments me but it's all lies. She'll be like, you're so huge. You know, she's trying to be nice while we're banging. And I'm so bad at dirty talk that I panicked and I said, so are you, calling her fat. Yeah, I think that kind of works. That hits.

It's a nice way out. It's a nice little button on the whole thing. And it validates or justifies that i'm i am actually horrible and with the dirty talk sounds like you're bad with small talk like you're trying to have small talk with her in bed and it's coming out dirty like so are you that's right right you're butcher right back at you yeah i was trying to give it back oh yeah maybe that's a a better way to say it because i also don't want to touch on regan's uh have a good flight you too yeah i don't think okay yeah i'm so worried about that

but what else do men like being told in the bedroom it's kind of it's so good you're the best you're the best i've ever had you're yeah you're so good but then if i say so are you that's not yeah that's not weird but you keep that but maybe it's oh come add to it uh i had a girl once i had a bit about a girl i was with shouted uh daddy when having having sex with her and i was i was out that window like a shop he's gonna wake the family there's some kind of something in that yeah definitely yeah i know that girl yeah just trying to yeah it's good all right all right i'll try that that that twist oh the other bit i'm trying to work on at the moment let me get up with this the um uh crazy is a numbers game

okay so something being crazy it's about if enough people get involved in it with something crazy So something being crazy, it's about if enough people get involved in it with something crazy, it's okay. Religion is the go-to example. So religion. Enough people believe in Christianity. Scientology, it's crazy, right? They don't have the numbers. As soon as they get to a certain number, it's not crazy anymore.

It becomes legitimate. Yeah. But it kind of goes for lots of other things as well It kind of goes with with like fucking pickleball the first eight guys playing pickleball Fuck you guys doing play a real sport, but gets to a certain number. This is absolutely legitimate I think that's that's a great premise There's something in the premise But I guess I'd figure out where I'm going because the religious thing is like you you the takedown of that's pretty so it's not With Scientology right

and go well they believe i would say violence is the only difference it's like a mass shooter you're fucking crazy a war we have to do this that's that's good that's good i've noticed if you're working out if you murder one person it looks real bad drop a bomb ah we had this was yeah to do this that's that's interesting it's for our country taking bomb ah we had to this was we had to do this that's interesting it's for our country taking out the notepad this is big yeah no no

that's good that's interesting school shooting to war is big um does it it's kind of the flip you can flip it

with an orgy you know sex with one person normal sex and an orgy? I guess that's also normal. I'm just adding numbers.

All right. Bad example. I think there's something in that, right? There's something in the... But I think that idea of like crazy as the numbers go, like the things in our society that are clear, it almost goes to all observational comedy, which is kind of going the world is mad.

But the stuff that we think is absolutely acceptable. So like tattoos. Tattoos used to be like a facial tattoo. When Mike Tyson got his facial tattoo, it was fucking crazy. Yes. People lost their minds. You know, Mike Tyson got a facial tattoo. He's going to have that forever. And it was Mike Tyson, too.

This is insane. Yeah. And now a facial tattoo is, oh, cool. It's like someone bought a new t-shirt. Right. Post Malone. It used to be you were a badass if you had a t-shirt. Now it's nothing.

Yeah. I'd say regular tattoos are like that. Yeah. Like sailors and fighters had tattoos. And now every barista chick has a tattoo. I did one other last night I could try. Please. This is a new one.

I used to date a girl who had night terrors which was uh i mean it's terrible you get woken up with just uh here's the first angle i had you get woken up by just shrieking you know so uh and it sucks because you have to be like oh man this uh i'm so sorry this happened to you you know and she's like it's really unhealthy to wake up that way i'm like i know i'm also waking up that way right right that was the first thing i think i do a joke before that yeah going no no so the the gag would be i used to date a girl that had night terrors she would wake up screaming i guess she wasn't expecting to see me there oh almost like you can kind of have that as a throwaway before you get to the i had one other thing before you get that's good i had one other thing

throw in a rape thing before you get that's good i had one other thing throw in a rape joke before you start um night terrors is funny i mean it would be funny in that uh call me daddy joke if you were like quiet you'll wake your mother rather than the family no like you're fucking a kid yeah well she's saying call me daddy maybe yeah i i dropped it because there was another joke that had like, it was, you know, sometimes when you write two things that are kind of in the same area, you go, that one's better.

It's just. Yeah, yeah. By the way, I saw you at the cellar. The line I added on, I said. Oh, thanks, man. I added on, I said, I did it with night terrors. That's when you wake up screaming, which is, it's kind of weird.

She's a white girl from the suburbs. She didn't serve in NAMM. Right. That was the first part. She would tell me, wait. Pink berry doesn't have a flavor. Yeah. What's she worried about?

Yeah, like talking to a dog. What's wrong, girl? They're out of rosé. Yeah. Blue lemon's closed. Yeah. Yeah, there's something else. I said one other thing last night I got

a little I got a little bit the set yeah something to that there's something with day terrors you know like you you worried about other stuff you know this is why you you're just scared at night when nothing's happening other people are scared like people live in a bad neighborhood you know they have day terrors I don't know I think there's something waking up screaming you're waking up the same way that if there was like a burglar with a knife but she's like oh no it's just it was just a dream yeah you're making up shit to be scared about other people are scared about real shit yeah you're being scared in a dream okay i had another i don't think we helped with that at all i i i said some stuff i'll listen to uh dating apps yeah are all based on the same

premise right they're all based on birds of a feather flock together right so it's match.com everyone matching up with people that you've got a lot but that's not the only way the world works the world also works on opposites attract and i'm going to start a website i'm going to make a fortune it's going to be called mismatch.com and i'm gonna put people you know so it's gonna be she's a she's a socialite um daughter of a billionaire he's a plumber from brooklyn sure you put them together and then i think the gag is he's a he's a guy from palestine she's a nice jewish girl when they met that thing of like they're like the weirdest couples yeah think of i think that's the gag or you know the and

a progressive the idea that dating sites are based on that premise of oh i like that movie you like that movie maybe we should fuck what yeah that's yeah why would that be a thing you're thinking of friends she's in she's antifa he the Capitol. Exactly. Give it a chance. Yeah. He's a cop. She's black. You know. Yeah.

I mean, they're very American. Yeah. But it's interesting, those things of like couples you, where you would go to the wedding and there would be no question of bride or groom. You go, I think I know. Mm-hmm. I think I know what side of the aisle you're on. There's something to the Israel-Palestine. It's like a soft way to go into the joke. i think i know something to the israel palestine it's like a it's a good

it's like a soft way to go into the joke i think it's like it's i think it's funny and it's something everyone's thinking about yeah that's but i like the whole the bigger point of i i kind of coming back to your thing of like you could be palestinian or israeli the the look yeah i think there's something you should run for office in the Middle East and just never name who you're talking about. I don't like these guys. We got to do something about you know who. What they've done is

unacceptable. And I know you all agree with me when I say we got to stop those motherfuckers. I'm going to call them motherfuckers because they are motherfuckers. And you never come down on either side. I don't care who I upset. I'm going to say them motherfuckers because they are motherfuckers. And you never come down on either side. I don't care who I upset. Yeah. I don't care who I say it.

Yeah. This has got to stop. That's funny. You put the middle in Middle East. You're right down the middle. Yeah. Down the middle, yeah. That's fun.

Something there. We'll shoot that sketch when you leave. We'll shoot it. Yeah. Any peeves?'ll shoot it yeah any peeves you have any pet peeves oh yeah I've got pet I was thinking about

the other day again I feel like comics we airport material hotel material we talk too much about being on the road

but people checking out of hotels kills me I know kills me just if you're listening to this I'm going to save you hours of your life

you never have to check out of a hotel you're not you didn't stay at their house you're not saying goodbye to friends and air kissing just leave just fucking leave they don't need the plastic key back right if you want throw it at the desk but don't queue up with your bags when i'm trying to check in and spend 20 minutes going through your oh the itemized bill oh see everything's correct right oh i forgot i had a muffin oh okay hotels have never got anything wrong they've never mischarged you yeah i even enjoy you know that sometimes there's a little box that you put the key in like checkout box you put the key in that i'll still throw it in the garbage i won't even put it in the box. Fuck it. There's no – I'm not giving you the satisfaction.

I'm just leaving. Yeah, that's a good beef. It's just so annoying. It shows in – it's amateur hour. Oh, you're checking out? Come on. I think people that never travel bug us because we travel so fucking much. Totally.

Yes. I think that thing of, like, you've got your – the method – what do you mean you're in the wrong boarding group you didn't know i know you ever see people walk down the aisle of an airplane and they're like eight nine ten like what are we doing here you're at 11 just go to 11 you don't know numbers yeah 9 11 but yeah it's silly it's your lucky seat yeah yeah that's that's uh that's a big peeve i'm trying to think of a we've got other peeves. Good one. The checkout is silly. What other peeves you got?

What else? What else is annoying you other than your... I got this guy. He's the laziest guy I know, but he's like, man. He's like, oh, you're writing a movie, huh? I've been working on this movie for 18 years. I'm like, no, no. You started to write a title 18 years ago.

You never touched it again, and now you get to say you worked on it for 18 years. You didn't work on it for 18 years ago, you never touched it again, and now you get to say you worked on it for 18 years. You didn't work on it for 18 years. You worked on it for six minutes and never again, but that was 18 years ago. That's not working on something for 18 years. Do you see my point? Yeah. No one's reacting. No, I had the... Someone had a thing recently.

Can you Google this? It was the not doing the thing. Not doing the thing. Not doing the thing. It was like someone came up with this list of things that aren't doing the thing, which kind of goes back to being stoic of talking about doing the thing isn't doing the thing. Not doing the thing. It's like someone came up with this list of things that aren't doing the thing, which kind of goes back to being stoic of talking about doing the thing isn't doing the thing. That's why we don't want to talk about our movie. I don't want to go into detail because I don't know how long this is going to take.

It might be years. It's a lot. It's not doing the thing. It's like a list on – it's a really good list, actually. It's on – Is it a video? No, it's on – hang on. Let me find it for you. Hang on.

I've got it somewhere um but you can't get the credit for working on something for 20 years if you just started it 20 years ago and never did anything else you see what i'm saying maybe work on a second screenplay obviously yes some do something write one page but not even one page is written but he's been working on it for 20 years it's his life's work i'll find this thing uh this is this is great radio um this is like the date you described saying i have a real talent where i can throw something out and no one responds to it i don't know what it is no this is small talent okay it's um uh strangest loop oh yeah i got things that aren't doing the thing

it's a great list i think this is like i read this quite a lot okay what do you got It's Strangest Loop. Oh, yeah. I got it. Things that aren't doing the thing. It's a great list. I think this is like, I read this quite a lot. Okay. What do you got? Preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Thank you. Scheduling time to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Making a to-do list for the thing isn't doing the thing.

Yes. Telling people you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing. There it is. Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn't doing the thing is messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn't doing the thing right it just goes on but it's so great for like it's gold just like i always think new comics there's so much of that going on you go just jokes just do it just do the jokes yeah so much of this is just like being a ceo though you're just like do this and they're like okay i know but i know a guy, I'm not going to say any names. His whole Instagram is him in a coffee shop with a pen and a pad and a coffee.

And he's like, hmm. And he's like, I'm writing. All I do is write. Same act the last 20 years. Same act. You know the guy who always has to write out his entire set.

And you're like, you've been doing the same jokes. Yes. Before every show, he's like, no, I can't talk to anybody. Let me just. Exactly. Exactly. I do the exactly exactly now pretty religiously this year and it uh it really it's really paid

off the i do new jokes at the end of every show yeah every show theater whatever doesn't matter how big the room is i'll do it tonight get out a piece of paper at the end and it forces you during the day because you feel like such a dick if it's stuff from last week. Because you go, right, do it, bank it. Once it's worked like three times, I can bank it and then that's going to be in the next show. Yes. But you kind of figure, well, it's okay. So you're burning through new stuff at like five minutes a night.

And then you're kind of banking that for the next show. It seems to be such a good way of kind of working that muscle. Because sometimes, you know, my tours are like three years long. And you could write the show and do nothing for three years oh yeah start with a blank piece of paper and it seems i've kind of done that before and it's crazy it's crazy now you got to prepare you got to do it and that's a good way to do it is to make sure the audience they're your your motivation because you're like i can't come up with nothing yeah you know you need you need to put yourself against the cliff like that or else you do the same shit for the rest of your life i had like it's not i don't think it's a peeve but i think it's like uh it's an idea like we had a lot of strikes in the uk this year like

people you know inflation's gone through the roof so people need more money and they're you know working jobs and they're not getting paid enough and food prices are going up okay so you got a strike same here okay so but what they do is they go the guys on the train strike and they don't turn up to work but they're on the picket line so they're not sitting at home doing nothing they're on the picket line striking so we're saying what they should do if you're on a train strike you open the ticket booths and you let people go in for free for the day because that hurts your boss but it doesn't hurt your customers that's good because you haven't got a problem with your customers the guys riding the subway are riding the subway the guys riding the trains

are riding the trains but you go but fuck with your boss's money yeah see they take that more seriously is that legal probably okay i don't know what the law would be that would that would prevent that yeah i guess yeah but no i like it i mean that's way more effective yeah because then you see some some results yeah yeah we had that with the auto workers they just striked and uh they won good on them yeah everybody's striking now the actors striking the writer a lot of striking i didn't realize it was because of inflation are the actors still striking yeah well by the time this comes out probably not i would say who knows this is coming out in 2026 but uh yeah jimmy why don't you plug can we

plug gigs oh you got you got a hard out i know i've got there's not that hard enough i'm flying now okay i'm just gonna drive to boston i'm flying but the um this is very fun i've uh current tour u.s states yeah there you go i don't know why i'm playing tell me what's good tell me what's good on these days okay so boston tonight okay tonight. 26. 26. So, starting December. Okay. Oh, yeah. I put in, like, double shows in December.

So, I've got to sell these hard. So, people of San Diego. Great club. Great theater. Yeah, it's a great theater. That's good. Okay. Right in the heart of the city.

Where am I? The Wilton? Wilton's sick. Wilton's nice. LA. Okay. Never been to the Grove. National Grove in Anaheim

on the 8th of December. Anaheim's a cool area. Two shows. Two Grove in Anaheim on the 8th of December. Anaheim's a cool area. Two shows in Anaheim. That's Disneyland. First one's on. Okay. And I've never heard of the city at all. It's a casino.

Oh, okay. Good luck. Casinos are tough. Is it? Yeah, usually. Okay, so how is it tough in a casino? I don't think I've played. I've played casinos in South Africa.

Sometimes they've gotten better. They've gotten better. But if you do the club at a casino, you're toast. But the theater is pretty good because people actually came out to see you. The club. I think people had to buy a ticket away. Okay. That'll be fine.

It'll be fine. And you'll get a nice room. And then Mesa, Arizona on the 10th. Two shows. Watch Trump Country. Denver at the Paramount. I'm there this weekend. Badass theater.

Two shows. Really nice. Two shows. Okay. Cool. And then the Newmark Theater shows. Really nice. Okay, cool. And then the Newmark Theater, December 14th in Portland, Oregon. Last time I went to Portland, it was like... I mean, it was like... Apocalyptic?

It was like The Walking Dead. It was crazy. Well, it's gotten worse. Oh, yeah. A lot of tents. That's rough. How are they... Fentanyl, babe.

They did the free drugs or whatever. Decriminalized. That's the word. Decriminalized all drugs. So it's not like illegal, but it's weird. But they did that in Portugal, and it's really worked. Yeah. But what they did in Portugal was they decriminalized all the drugs.

This is like 15 years ago they did this in Portugal. Decriminalized all the drugs. But then what they did was really smart. All the money they were spending fighting the drug war, they spent on rehabs and education. And they took all that money they ring fenced it and they went okay it's linked to inflation we're going to spend that money every year on making the show okay because most people that are on heroin don't really want to be on heroin they'd rather not be on heroin there's a hard core that will remain yeah but they get it for

free now from the pharmacy they get heroin for free not methadone it kind of works i think i took a prescription on the road recently i was like like, yeah, some of these cities, you're like, oof, that's a CVS area. Oh, my God. I noticed that. I mean, the other pet peeve in New York the last couple of days, my other half was here with me, and we're shopping. We're in a CVS. They're locking up the toothpaste now.

Yes. The stuff they're locking up now. You go, it used to be razors were locked up. Yeah. Because the razor was like, they was, I mean, those guys, Gillette, please. How much are you charging for a razor? I mean, ludicrous. $18.99.

Whatever that thing is. It's crazy. But they'd lock those up. But now they're locking up fucking chewing gum. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, the grab and steal or whatever you call it. What do you call those?

Smash and grab. Yeah. I think it really started during COVID when it was just, they just would steal everything and people were like, yeah. But I'm going to Portland to get some Manafidil or whatever the hell you said. Oh, yeah. I'm going to pick up a bottle of that. I'm pretty sure I'm pronouncing that wrong. This schedule is amazing. 13th,

14th, 15th, 16th, 17th is incredible. San Francisco on the 16th. I think last Sunday I celebrated my 250th theater show this year. Good Lord. The more theater in Seattle is like maybe the coolest theater. One of the greats. It's like the best.

You're going to love it. It's beautiful. It's huge. It's three tiers, but they're untied. I can fill it, but not with laughter. Let me explain this. December 16th, San Francisco, San Francisco, and the 16th in Las Vegas? Oh, that's March.

That's March. Oh, December, March. That's a big jump. That's a big jump there That's a big jump there. Yeah, big jump. Big jump, not bad. Yeah, Vegas. Is Vegas going to be all right?

Vegas is cool. It's not my favorite. I'm going to fly in. I'm going to go and see that U2 show, I think. The Sphere. Yeah, I really want to see it. Hell yeah. Who's the first comic that's going to do that?

I think Hannah Gadsby. Chappelle, maybe. I texted Chappelle the other day and said, how come you haven't played The Sphere? What's going on? Because he can sell infinite tickets. Oh, yeah. I would Chappelle the other day and said, how come you haven't played The Sphere? What's going on? Because he could do, he's like, he can sell infinite tickets. I would say, he should just do a residency, right?

He's doing the Iron Dome. Oh my god. Go ahead. Nice. Mark, do you want your dates? Uh, sure. What are you playing? Mismatch.com, that's my website. You don't say. There we go. Paramount this weekend.

Oh, yeah. We're... It's our 25th. All right. I can't read that. Sorry. Blow that puppy right up, will you? Yeah.

It does feel like there's a weird thing with American versus British comics. We get to theaters a bit faster. We kind of leave the clubs a bit faster. Yes. Because we've got such a nice theater circuit. You get on that theater. Yeah. We get to laughter quicker. But I know what you mean. All right. Jesus. Because we've got such a nice theater circuit, you get on that theater. Yeah, we get to laughter quicker.

But I know what you mean. All right. Jesus. All right. All right. Just joking there, car. This one. We've got the Sanger Theater on November 24th in Mobile.

Ooh. The Orpheum on the 25th of November. Hometown. Big, big hometown show. Luther Bank Center for the Arts. That's December 1st. Santa Rosa. That's sold out, I believe.

The Crest Theater theater two shows in sacrament uh omaha uh kansas city norfolk baltimore you you know mark norman comedy.com tampa theater florida theater when one of these uh when are you going international maybe that's what you guys should do together. I would do that. But the international stuff, I'm like. You just did it. I just did Europe. I did a full Lisbon, Dublin, Birmingham, Manchester, Hackney. I went all over. Yeah.

I think that'd be a good plan, though, because the travel is like, that would be the fun thing to do. That's true. Together. That's true. To go, okay, we'll go and do, like the Far East, if you do Singapore, Hong Kong. I've got that in January. Singapore, Hong Kong, all that stuff. Ladyboy those rooms the lady boy tour yeah that's not bad

that's good you don't hear a lot about the lady boys since trans happened yeah they're not getting the the shine no they really yeah you're right when'd you last hear the phrase chicks with dicks it's been a minute it has been a while right i wonder if they're pissed like hey you took our whole thing it's like uh cars when they did the horses yeah you got uh vegas what horses did to cars i got the win in vegas december 2nd that'll be fun then we got uh tampa tampa theater the fort myers oh man we're doing the same gigs yeah and then uh and then i'm going back to clubs for a while just to tighten this for the next special. And to write some new shit.

Where are you going to take the special? The Wilbur Boston. It's a beauty. Great club. Yeah. Oh, theater. Feels like a club. More specials have been taped there than any theater in America.

Is that the one that's got the tables down the front? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty badass. Phenomenal. I love it. Yeah, and then, you know, Buffalo, Springfield, Madison, Philly, Dania Beach, Omaha, Dallas, OKC, Irvine, Salt Lake, and then the special.

So I'll see you guys on the road. Woo! And this new hour is cooking. Thanks, man. So check it out, folks. Get some Bodega Cat whiskey. Yeah, get some whiskey. Where's the Bodega Cat whiskey?

It's up on the bar somewhere. Bodegacatwhiskey.com. It's a ride. Very nice. I'm sure a lot of you alreadyega Cat whiskey? It's up on the bar somewhere. Bodegacatwhiskey.com. It's a ride. I'm sure a lot of you already know Jimmy, but go see Jimmy on the road. One of the best. Great joke writer. Maybe check out the Netflix special first. See if it's for you.

It's not for everyone, is it? Oh, come on. This is Bodega Cat. You know I got a whiskey. No. Really? I got a whiskey with No. I got a whiskey with like a weird group got together. It's called Muff Liquor.

Hmm. Muff Liquor. That's fun. There's a town outside Dublin called Muff. Ah. And there's a distillery there called Muff Liquor. Did you do it just for the name? Just for the name.

I love it. I love it. Just for the dumb name. But we've got like. Well, that's a cool bottle. Yeah. the vodka gin and whiskey but i did it with like uh it's like me and russell crow and ed sheeran it's a really old mix oh wow that's fun that's pretty cool good booze i mean like the vodka and gin's winning awards yeah it's jim crow all right there it is. Muff Liquor. Muff Liquor. That's great. I mean, it's a good name.

That's a fun name. I went to Ball State, so that'd be a different liquor. All right. Thanks for listening, guys. Thanks, Jimmy. It's a pleasure. Good to see you guys. Great stuff.

Sunday's the day for my next bender. I've made a pivorette, you know the beer juice close. I've had a little too much bourbon, and Norman's talking shit about the fucking pump, and I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like a cop's coming, and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her and I

get down in the same way We might be true