We Might Be Drunk - Ep 155: Eddie Pepitone

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

Eddie Pepitone joins Mark Normand and Sam Morril on this special episode of We Might Be Drunk. So many great moments, sharing a lot of great laughs. One of the greats, make to see him on the road before its too late. The world is ending in 2027.  Eddie Pepitone: https://www.eddiepepitone.com/ Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/ Mark Normand: https://marknormandcomedy.com/ Shop: https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod Bodega Cat: http://www.bodegacatspirits.com  We Might Be Drunk is produced, recorded and edited by Gotham Production Studios. Head producer: Matthew Peters https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ If you want to start a podcast contact [e-mail] for a discount on services when referred by WMBD! Support the show & save 10% off the Füm Journey Pack when you go to https://www.tryfum.com &; use code DRUNK Support the show & ; get 20% off & free shipping at https://www.manscaped.com when you use the code DRUNK New customers can score 150 instantly in bonus bets for throwing down just 5 bucks. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code WMBD Support the show & snag an Aura frame for $40 off at https://www.auraframes.com/DRUNK with promo code DRUNK

All right. We're rolling. Should we go? Yeah. Is this video too? Yeah. Oh, I have a beautiful hat. There we go.

No, I do. It makes me look like, whoa. You know, hey, guys. He's the head of the bowling league. We were just talking. We got the hilarious Eddie Pepitone here. Yeah, we was just talking. I never do NPR.

I never get booked for NPR when I'm promoting a special, but I'm producing the first special I've ever produced, Dina Hashim's special for Amazon. Really? She's hilarious. It's a great special. Can I ask you a question? And hi, Eddie Pepitone.

What does that mean to produce a special? Seriously. It just means I help try to sell it. It doesn't, I mean. He doesn't really, that's producers, yeah. Or like, you know, I mean, I watched it and I was like, I'd cut this, I'd cut, but like, but I said, it's your special and you make it work. You're going to help try to sell it.

Yeah. No, it's on Amazon now. It's out now. Oh, okay. Man, he should produce yours. Well, you had one. Wasn't the last one amazon uh the last one yes that was hilarious by the way that was a great killer which one the last one yes it was called um for the masses that was a great special i mean it was uh thank you i still remember i mean a lot of the fucking bits. The one about the, it was like the femdom porn or something.

Some really dark bit. Now, femdom porn, that's your thing? I guess. No, but I know I've seen it. It was like domination porn. You said something crazy in one of the bits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get a lot of mileage out of bondage pornography.

That's what it was. That's a great sentence. No, it's hard to watch it in la because the sun is blaring oh yeah fucking time hard to jerk in the sun it it's just it's a mental thing it is like you're watching people in hoods they're hung from hooks and outside. It's just beautiful. It's just me. Birds. Right. Right. People jogging.

And you're like, what am I doing? What am I doing? Indeed. Mark. Yeah. But we, we are road comics.

So that hotel midday jerk is kind of nice. The amount I jerk off on the road is, is it insane? I'm like, what is this vacation? Go on Zoloft. You'll never jerk off again. Oh,

really? I heard you can't't you can't finish it sucks yeah it it sucks the finish is really difficult oh loft you know it's a bummer i mean i think we were raised as men oh it's great that you don't come early right right because i used to come just you know on the phone call with trying to be funny didn't work um but um uh yeah this one it's tough it's tough to finish really even with a pretty hooker but even with a hot lady it's uh it's tough yeah it gets a little it you know what's so funny it gets a little pressurized the other way.

Like instead of like you're thinking of baseball to try not to come, the famous Woody Allen bit, if you remember. Sure, great bit. Where he's like. Just don't think of Derek Jeter. What's that? Fucking hot guy. Don't think of Derek Jeter is what I said.

He might come. But he is a Yankee. All right. If you heard of the bit, you heard of the bit. And boy, Woody Allen i it's it's touchy now but anyway he was touching then we're hot tonight we're hot tonight uh he was like so i'm thinking of baseball to try and get him and he goes uh so mccovey's up this is all in his head McCovey base hit base hit I pull a hit

and run it works Lanier gets another base hit I got first and third she's already in the shower like

that was the punchline is that he's so into the baseball his stand his old stand up was it still holds up

you know comedy doesn't age well it still is great it does it's it does it's it's it's it's not topical it's just evergreen jokes yes he's got that great shit my wife tells me i'm immature uh i was in the bath the other day she came in and sunk my boats yeah you know he's got a million of them i love i mean bullets over broadway to me is his funniest movie that movie just kills me dude me fuck what's your favorite line in that movie i got one

i love i love when she's narrating um i think i fucked diane weiss when she when she walks in don't talk oh that's one of them talk but i love when they say uh you know she said helen sinclair arrived late but she had a good excuse and she, my pedicurist had a stroke. She landed right on my feet. They required bandaging. That's a great fucking joke. That's like multiple jokes. He really, like Mel Brooks, who's also like a legend. By the way, this episode should be called The Celebration of Woody Allen.

Cosby next. But Meloks is the same way they go for joke jokes yes in their yeah oh yeah god i remember being shot even as a kid just like watching i'd be like holy shit i cannot believe they're saying were you a prudish kid no i'm kidding it's just like they didn't make movies like that you're like this is insane right yeah yeah the n-word is said 800 times that's true and they cut a lot of shit i heard him on fresh air talking about another npr reference really npring up a storm npr i was so happy to be on anything npr when i was doing dina's thing because uh my my itinerary when i have a special coming out it's like barstool barstool it's like not a lot of npr in's like barstool, barstool. It's like, not a lot of NPR in there, you know? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, barstool sports? Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. No, I don't know anything. Bart, you know, you're a big Knick fan, I know that. I am. You're a New York guy, too. I'm a big, I was at the Ranger game last night. Like, I love hockey

and football and baseball, but the Knicks were so bad for so long, dude. I just lost. Are they good now? They're good. Okay. They made the second round of the playoffs last year. They're solid.

We'll see. They're a disappointment every fucking year. What about you? Are you any of it? I got the Saints. They're all disappointment. They're like the Southern Bills. Both teams are pretty good.

Well, the Bills are pretty good. The Bills are pretty good this year, but I like are pretty good. The Bills are pretty good this year. But I like boxing and UFC. You what? I like boxing and UFC. I prefer more of an individual, like a tennis. You like one-on-one. I like one-on-one.

You're like Christopher Lloyd in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest when Nicholson was strangling Big Nurse. Do you remember this? Yeah, yeah. And Christopher Lloyd was just going to fucking kill her. Oh, yeah. Yes. Fucking kill her.

He's like Martini. That's a great scene with Nurse Ratched. And he's trying to kill her. Yeah, and Christopher Lloyd. Christopher Lloyd. Because he liked, like you, the one-on-one combat. And Martini, how great would it be if Danny DeVito was, and he's a corporate whore, how great would it be if he was shilling

for jersey mike's as martini as martini like in a hospital garage oh he's good it's good you know what annoys me so much is there's these uh and i watch them all i'm a fucking whore for these things but they have those instagram tiktok people who are just like in their car trying sandwiches and stuff oh that's gotten big it's gotten big dude like literally whatever joke we post you know doesn't even touch them you know putting dressing the guy the guy's going like this is perfect he's eating fucking jersey mics oh no he's not he thinks he's a fucking you know connoisseur yeah he's talking about it like it's like fine dining you know and he's like he's like dude there's an italian guy

who's great yeah do you know who i'm talking about young meal by coogs what's his name coogs that skinny guy he looks on yes shit coogs well he's like, I fucked your sister the whole time? That guy? Oh, no, no. This guy goes, here we are at Tuttulio's. The best. And you believe him because of the passion behind it. The best fucking roast beef sandwich. And he eats it. And it's just like, okay. And while I'm watching this from LA going, I'm going to go to Tuttulio's as soon as I

get back to New York. You know what I mean? Well, I think we got Guy Fieri to thank for this. You know, you make fun of diners, drivers, and dives. I watch it every time it's on. Do you? It's just great to put in the background. Like, it's not good, but he's just like, this is the fucking sandwich.

I'm like, that's the energy I need when I'm in Des Moines. Yeah, I guess that's what it is. Is this Nico? Is that the New York Nico guy? Oh, that's the dude. That's the dude. His name's Meal by Coog. What's it called? Meal's Mule by Coog. What's it called?

Mule by Coog. Coog. I think it was Cougine, which is Italian for cousin or Sicilian. This fucking guy. Why in the car? This guy's going to die at 37, though. Do you see? Every fucking thing, he's like, use a little more provolone.

I'm like, dude, you're going to fucking die. It's like, use a little more provolone. I'm like, dude, you're gonna fucking die. It's just great. Come on. He seems so authentic to me. Yeah. That's fun. But check him out. He is kind of... He's wearing... No, but now he's wearing these, like, nice glasses, which – Oh, he's upgraded.

And he's got this trimmed – like, he's obviously making some money now, right? That's not cool. How many views you got up on this puppy? Yeah. How many? I don't know. I can't tell. This feels like a –

Look at how many comments. Wow. This is a ripoff, though. This isn't the guy's actual page, I don't think. Oh, maybe, yeah. What? How do you know? No, I don't think. Oh, maybe, yeah. What? How do you know?

No, I don't know. Oh, yeah, maybe you're right. Meals by Cook. Yeah, but Twitter's not where this shit's from. 2.6 million followers for trying sandwiches. Now, by the way, does it ever get you down, like, that this shit, right, does so much traffic and just about the mediocrity of people in general, like what they're attracted to. What do you think? You're more of a people person than I am. And I think so is Sam, because Sam is like, oh, I, you know, it's great. It's good energy. I go with the negative.

No, I come at it. I come at it from. That's the way love about you. No, that's the thing. Right. We got good way to love about you. No, that's your thing. Right. We got good energy on your bad energy. That's right. Yin and yang. But I don't think it's healthy for me ultimately. No, you're clearly healthy.

All right. But no, I mean, I'm just, I think it's great. That helps. But you got to have your voice, you know, that's you, you're authentic. Yeah. Yeah. I just I just later in life, I've been like, wow, I'm going to die soon. You know, I don't know how soon I'll make it through this. You're going to make it way longer than that kid. That's true. This is your role.

How to get bashed. All the speeches at the funeral. Like he would he wouldn't want me to eat this sandwich while I gave this speech. Oh, that's fucking. That's a semolina roll right there that's fucking that's for you buddy who had a little diet coke on his grave dc diet coke man i i are you into that shit yeah yeah it's it's addictive but you can't blame him you got to blame the masses because he's just seeing what works and and giving them what they want. Who?

The sandwich kid. Right, right. But it's just to me depressing that the worst shit, I mean, that's not the worst, but just people flock to bullshit. Oh, yeah. Nothing highbrow. No. Like, I would love to do a YouTube channel where I'm just talking about, let's say, Rembrandt, but, like, just little facts that people don't know about Rembrandt. Like, just make them up, too, that Rembrandt had a deviated septum.

Whatever. Couldn't get it up. Yeah. I don't know. Don't go blue. Don't draw people. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'd be like, you know what kind of pencil he used? It wasn't get it up. Yeah. I don't know. Don't go blue. That would draw people. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

I'd be like, you know what kind of pencil he used? It wasn't a number two. It was 2.1. I don't know. It's like a boring Bob Ross. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

A boring Bob Ross. Yeah. It turned out he was a big pussy. Is that right? Bob Ross got a lot of pussy. He had a sex appeal. He had the hair coming out of the shirt. That's true pussy he had a sex appeal he had the hair coming out of the shirt

he had a full fro denim whoa is that what happened is that right now that's a great tidbit maybe that would have happened to the guy

in full metal jacket if he didn't get his head blown off you know maybe he would have been a painter that's right D'Onofrio didn't fucking off him he blew his own head off, you know? Maybe he would have been a painter. That's right.

D'Onofrio didn't fucking off him. He blew his own head off D'Onofrio. That was him, yeah. Yeah, I worked with him, and this isn't to come at you because I'm sure you have things going on, but I worked with him in a show called Deadline. It was on for a heartbeat on ABC, and he was like a cop or or something and i was like a news reporter going mr johnson mr johnson you know and that was it did you chat with him at all by the

way this is why i don't tell stories because my stories go no fucking where yeah i know what you mean you've been a lot of movies i feel like i'll just be watching something i'll be like that's fucking eddie peppertone oh yeah you know old school yeah old school how was that best whoa that's right dude i just i i was in new york ucb and scott armstrong who co-wrote it i don't know if you know scott he's a writer and he co-ote it, and he just comes up to me. He was part of the UCB crew. And he goes, hey, would you like to be in a movie with Will Farrell? This was right before Farrell. Old school made Farrell. Yeah. Like, big.

Like, he was already big from SNL or whatever. And Roxbury was a movie he was in. Right. Roxbury with Catan? Yeah. Is Catan still with us? barely he's hanging in there yes for him to be relevant now it's it's a lot isn't it like yeah his big thing was the disco thing that was no that was a movie colin quinn's in that movie is he yeah one of my favorite colin quinn has a great cameo in that movie where his whole character just asks, he goes,

did you just grab my ass? That's all he says the whole movie. And they're like, no. No, no one is grabbing your ass. That's his whole character. Did he do it more than once in the movie or just once? No, he's a recurring character. It's a running gag.

Oh, no, maybe the other guy asked him and he has to say no, but it's good. It's a good thing. So what happened in old school? So, yeah, I just want to tell you um that i that armstrong came up to me said would you like to be in this movie i was like fuck yeah so i go to la had no idea i was gonna move to la but they put me up right next to uh venice beach so i was on the water wow you know and i've been landlocked here you know once you get well as a new yorker you know i didn't i don't know if you guys do but i don't go on boats here except

the ferry yeah the staten island ferry you know which i did fish off the back a lot of people don't know you can bring your own chum but anyway i i go to la and i kind of it was incredible i fucking was hanging out with vince fawn luke wilson and will farrell yeah the other guys at my level were rob corddry simon hellberg who became big with the um big bang shit oh yeah and um a guy named rick gonzalez who became a movie star too you know and it was just incredible hanging with fucking farrell and being right up close watching him do his thing amazing crazy vince vaughn you're both directed by the same director oh yeah todd phillips yeah what who very briefly in the joker well you in The Joker? I do stand-up before it goes on.

That was very brief. Oh, shit. I have a lot of range. You what? I have a lot of range, I assume. That's cool as fuck that you're with. How was Vince Vaughn to work with? Was he cool?

He was very cool to me, but a little crazy. I remember he was smoking a lot of cigarettes, and Wilson, Luke, would be like... but a little crazy. I remember he was smoking a lot of cigarettes, and Wilson, Luke, would be like, and he kind of is an all-American guy, Wilson. That's what he looks like anyway, and he was like, you got to stop it, Vince. Damn.

He's like this character. And Vince would be like, and he'd be like, yeah, no, I know, I know. I met Wilson once on Conan. We were on Conan together, and he was so freaking nice. Very nice. I had a good set on that one. He came in the green room after Earth.

Oh, really? And he was like, I'm going to keep my eye on you. Oh, that's so cool. Never saw him ever again. It was a nice moment. But he's in the shadows looking at you. That's right. That's right.

He was a nice dude, though. You know, Will Ferrell, such a funny guy, obviously, trained Shakespearean. No. And I think that's why he's so funny, because he's so serious in a comedy movie, and that's funny. That is a great insight. Yeah, fun. That is a great insight. Have you thought about critiquing acting work in general?

Like just a show called let's take a look that's the name of the show when you play clips yeah of like like an old like shelly winters when she was hot she was i don't know she was hot she was uh to Google. She got fat. She got very fat. Oh, really? That's complacency. I know it. Oh, yeah. Old school was great. Yeah, what other movies were you in? You did a ton of stuff. Let's see.

I was in the Muppet movie. Oh, really? Jeff Dunham's? All right. Jeff Dunham's? No. No. It was with... who the fuck?

Amy Adams, the red hair, and Jason, he was in How I Met Your Mother. Oh, Siegel. Jason Siegel. He's fun. And check it out. There she is. Wow, she was a bombshell. She was a bombshell.

Look at that. Full-figured gal. A full-figured gal. And it went south on her. Pity she was a bombshell. She was a bombshell. Look at that. Full-figured gal. A full-figured gal. And it went south on her. Titties, dude. Yeah. Titties for days. What's that?

Titties for days. Yeah. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah. And I heard she liked to fool around. Oh. You know? And she would have been, like, look at her.

Yeah. There's the picture later. Yeah, wow. It doesn't go well for, I think, most people don't. Men age better. Yeah, we're lucky in that regard. But we're rough in the young years, I think. So check it out.

I'm on the set of, there it is, The Muppets. You're in a ton of shit, dude. Jesus. Yeah, I'm on the set of The Muppets. Terry was another movie, School for Scoundrels. Oh, yeah. But The Muppet movie, I did a dance number. The choreographer, I played a postman.

It was like a cameo. They would do different people doing little cameos. And I danced around this town square. And the choreographer was Mickey Rooney's son. Jesus. And he was in yellow face. He was like, we're going to keep the tradition going. I don't get that reference.

I laugh, but I don't get it. Oh, reference to Tiffany's. He was the Asian guy. Was he? Yeah. He played an Asian guy. Yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry.

Now I know why those folks got so upset with the Madam Butterfly, with the Boxer Rebellion particularly. I mean, his rendition of an Asian guy is pretty wild. Oh, my God. There it is. Boy, and what year was that? 55? 55.

I'm guessing. Wow. It's in 55. I'm guessing. Wow. It's in color. That's amazing. Oh, yeah. That kind of stereotype. 61. Way off.

61. So that wasn't that long ago. No. By the way, we have no sense of time. We think 1961 was forever ago. Yeah. It's nothing. 80 years? It's nothing 80 years it's nothing we'll be gone i think we're going to be gone here comes my negativity bring it on yeah i think this how long do we have dude

really dude before the shit hits the fan in this country i'll give you a number and when i mean shit hits the fan i mean it'll be violent here. It will be dangerous just to do anything. And that'll be in 2027, I believe. Whoa. 2027. Just think about here we are now and things are teetering or I think things are teetering already. Yeah.

You know, I know it's going well for you guys. And that's what we tend to look at. Like, hey, I'm in Boise. You know. Yeah. That was my highlight this year. Boise. Nice place.

Very clean air. Yeah. Nice people. Clean air. There's a lot of survivalists there. Yes. Yes. Nice people. Clean air. There's a lot of survivalists there. Yes. Yes. You know?

But 2027, what about the election next year? Democrats cannot run Biden. No. But they will. They can. But they will. I don't know if they will. They will and they'll lose.

I don't know if they will run him. And then we're going to get Donnie again. Well, they say that Gavin News might slide in. Oh, come on. I bet he runs. I'm calling it right now. Yeah. I don't know if he'll win, but I bet he runs. Yeah.

I don't think he's got a lot of popularity. He's got good hair. He's terrific looking. Yes, he looks like a newscaster. He's terrific looking the way a Batman villain is good looking. Where you're like, yeah, sure, Aaron Eckhart is handsome. Oh, yeah. But it's like something, I don't know.

I'm not saying I'm a fan. I'm just saying I think he's right. Look at that guy. He's like a news broadcaster. Don't Californians hate him, though? Some do, but he won again. Mostly. Mostly.

He recently voted against giving the actors unemployment, like during the strike. Yeah. He also passed a law that made test scores easier or lower standards for black kids or whatever. And I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah. That feels weirdly racist. Yeah. He's what you call a shit lib.

A shit lib. So you think your prediction is Trump wins and then it goes down the toilet. He's polling well. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. And plus the world, if you're checking out the world.

Did something happen? Globally. This is it. And I don't know if you guys are, but I like to come from this point of view on stage, even though a lot of people aren't into it. That globally, man, it's the oppressor against the oppressed. And the oppressed are starting to rise up. And it's just going to be chaos. Oh, yeah. You know, the chaos we're witnessing in the Mideast, which I's just going to be chaos oh yeah you know the chaos

we're witnessing in the mid-east which i think is going to grow yeah that war i think is going to expand you know right yeah it doesn't seem good it's good television but it's brutal but have you seen is it cake well that's the dichotomy, right? And that's the thing I talk about a lot is like, and I'm as guilty as anybody, the distractions. Like, what the fuck do we care about what's going on in the Mideast when right in our neighborhood, a great macaroon shop just opened up. And the technology now, the baking technology with macaroons is amazing. I love a macaroon.

Oh, they melt in your fucking mouth and you're going to give a shit about what's going on? Yeah, yeah. There's a new Indiana Jones coming out. Is that right? Well, they just had one, yeah. They look great. No, I think it was.

I loved those growing up. Yeah, everything, they just keep making the same shit. The same shit. No one's taking a risk. You know what I like? There's a new movie coming out with Natalie Portman. Have you heard about this movie? No.

Natalie, because one of the things I got for homework for you guys. We got a rec. I was going to say idiots. You guys is, oh, recommend something. She's in my top five, by the way. A new, Todd Haynes. There it is. Oh, he's a good director.

Todd Haynes. He did. Holy. Todd Haynes, a gay man. He did. He's gay? That explains. That explains.

He did a very strange movie. It's on YouTube or something. It's on the Carpenters. And he has Karen Carpenter. They're just dolls, the whole movie. And it's about her downfall and bulimia. I want to watch that. It's actually really cool.

Check this out. So you see that guy on the left, Charles Melton? Okay, so the premise of the movie is Julianne Moore was a teacher and slept with her seventh grade student, which was Charles Melton. She went to jail. She gets out of jail, and she hooks up with him again because they're soulmates. Hell yeah.

Natalie Portman is a journalist who comes to do a story on it and spend some time with him, and she falls in love with him. Wow. This guy's a fucking pro. I never am. love with him wow this guy's a fucking pro and so it's an intense sick sick move but those are my favorite those you ever see the movie to die for with nicole kidman yes that's a great movie yeah

i love i love dark comedies yeah really is she fun i i dig her in anything she did you see uh I dig her in anything she does. Did you see Big Little Lies? Yeah. Is it good? My wife loves it. Did you? So I watched it.

Yeah, it's good. Wasn't it good? It's really good. I was like, at first, and this is me in a nutshell, like I'm looking at the fucking trailer and I'm like, oh, it's about a bunch of rich fucks in Monterey, California, beautiful scenery. I'm like, fuck these people.

And then I watch it. I'm like, fuck these people. And then I watch it. I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's basically a bunch of Karens. But the fun thing about those shows is it's basically real estate porn. So you're like, it's real estate porn. That's how I feel about Succession.

You're just like, I get to look at these fucking sick. That's true. I never saw Succession. Porn has great real estate as well, even, by the way. Which one? Porn.

Just regular porn. They're like fucking on a stairwell. I'm like, this is a beautiful home. That's a beautiful stairwell. I always look for things in porn like, wow, they don't give you any idea where you are, right? Yeah. Every room has to be blank. Yes.

And I always look for, oh, maybe there'll be like a Jimmy Buffett CD. Like, get some insight into the homeowner. Yeah, that's true. Give me a Frasier box set. A Frasier box set. Oh, God. Oh, there you go. Oh, God.

Oh, that's a good time. That's a good time. This is a good movie. It's not out yet, though. Yeah, May, December. May, I forget what it's called, but it's a great movie. I'm going to see it. It's just from the trailer.

Here's another sick twist. Twisted. I like twisted emotionally. Hell yeah. Did you ever hear the movie Damage with Jeremy Irons? No. Check it out. Here's the premise of this one.

Jeremy Irons has like a tense relationship with his son. And his son's about to get married to juliet binoche right by the way they look so old in these pictures you're pulling up but anyway his son's about to get married and they have a father-son relationship that's fraught with a lot of bullshit jeremy juliet binoche and jeremy irons the father get attracted to each other and the father sleeps with his son's fiancee and that is like that's shakespearean exactly oh that's hot and i'm watching that just going fuck yes oh yeah well it's really like porn with good dialogue oh yeah it is it's like It's what a lot of these premises are. You're just like, we shouldn't be doing this.

You're like, shut up, slut. Oh, it's a better line. Right. Right. Cinematography, too. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah.

It's elevated porn. Remember that movie Unfaithful? That was hot. Oh. Which one was that? Diane Lane. Diane Lane and that super hot Hispanic guy. Richard Gere.

Yeah. Roald Julia? No. Way hotter. Richard Gere, yeah. Roel Julia or? No, way hotter. Well, he was long. Andy Garce came out. Younger. He's a young buck that I don't think ever worked again.

That guy. He never worked again. Paul Martel. Well, Diane Lane was a fucking dime piece in that movie. Whose mother is she? She's the mother of- Nathan Lane. Laura Dern. Oh, okay.

Sorry, different Lane. Go scroll up a smooch. She's the mom- Oh, yeah. She's the mom of Laura Dern, who's- Really? Yeah. Wow.

You know a movie I watched the other day I'd never seen that was pretty cool? You ever see The Spanish Prisoner? David Mamet? It's pretty fun. Yes, I haven't watched that in a while. Is it good? It's a twist movie, right? Yeah, it's like they're lulling you along.

It's weird, but I was. Yeah, it's weird. And Mamet's dialogue, he used to be my favorite because I studied acting. And this is, again, not to hurt you. No, I'm sure you. We saw your IMDb, dude. You're fucking. No, but I.

Yeah, you're stacked. You know, I don't want We saw your IMDB, dude Yeah, you're stacked You know, I don't want to step on any toes here Her daughter, Eleanor Lambert Uh-oh Look at Eleanor Lambert I'm not allowed to These people are great Anyway

What was I I was talking about what? Mammoth. Mammoth. When I was in acting school, dude, did you ever read or see sexual perversity in Chicago? Never heard of it. How about American Buffalo? Definitely.

I've never seen it. Vince Gallo? Yeah. Oh, is he in that? I think he directed it. Yeah, he's sick. He's a sick puppy. Oh, yeah. Buffalo that? I think he directed it. Yeah, he's sick. He's a sick puppy.

Oh, yeah. Buffalo 66. That's what I'm thinking. Sorry. You're not American Buffalo. Oh, you see, you're not right. No. Yeah. Wrong Buffalo.

Yeah. I guess I can't talk theater with you guys. No, and that's fine. Buffalo Wild West. Barstool. If you want to talk Barstool. Barstool Sports. We're not discultured. We're working on American Buffalo. Barstool. If you want to talk Barstool. Barstool Sports. We're not discultured.

We're working on American Buffalo. There you go. No, but Mammoth's dialogue, and tell me if you didn't notice this, Sam, Doreen, Spanish prisoner. The dialogue is a little forced. It's a little- In this one, he doesn't even curse in this one. It's kind of a weird-

It's a more restrained script. I've got to watch it. Yeah, it's kind of- Who's in it? Oh, there he is. It's Campbell Scott. I like Campbell Scott. It's kind of a weird, it's a more restrained script. Yeah, it's kind of Who's in it? Oh, there he is. It's Campbell Scott. I like Campbell Scott. He's great. What happened to him? Steve Martin is in it.

Oh, really? Steve Martin plays. It's like very against type. Alright. It's pretty cool. Yeah, okay. I'll check it out. Also, House of Games is a cool mammoth one too, I thought. I liked House of Games. That's a cool one. He threw his wife in that one, Lindsey Krauss. Yeah.

People do that. They throw their spouse. His next wife is in this one. His what? His next wife is in Spanish Prisoner. Oh, you got a Phil Spector movie. I'll check that out. Is there?

Oh, shit. Oh, Mamet wrote the screenplay, I guess. Hell yeah. Yeah. Edmund. Edmund, can you click on Edmund? Is that Macy? Oh my, yeah.

Macy works with him all the time because they're from the Chicago theater scene. Have you heard of Good something? Good. Fellas. Good Will Hunting. Good Burger. Good Burger?

Is there a Good Burger? Yeah, there is with Kenan. That was like old school. That was our childhood. It's a Nickelodeon comedy. Oh, with Kenan and Kel. Kenan and Kel. Yes, that's it.

Welcome to Good Burger. All right. Anyway. Edmund. I don't know Edmund. Edmund. Click on Edmund. Good flick.

Matt, can you click on Edmund? Oh, Sierra DVD. A man becomes involved in a twisted game of sex, lies, and murder with three young women. Denise Richards. I mean, it's Suvari, and you could do worse than these triple whores. Joe Mantegna's great. I remember doing a guy's podcast. He's a guy who's famous, and he goes, who are your childhood crushes?

And I said, I don't know, Denise Richards is really hot. He goes, name some more. I go, Jennifer Love Hewitt. podcast he's a guy who's famous and he goes who your childhood crush is and i and i said uh i don't know denise richard's really hot he goes name some more i go jennifer love hewitt he's like uh-huh he goes to break he goes fucked them both wow i was like are you serious i won't say his name right all right right i'm gonna just throw out some names well what i'll do is i'll look at your podcast yeah right it was neil brennan's pod wow fucked them both who's this carson daly that's incredible i don't think he's got game do you oh carson daly dated jennifer love hewitt oh he did for a hot minute yeah he had a run he had a run he's a cute little guy yeah and he had a run. He had a run. He's a cute little guy. And he had a talk show. I mean, he was big.

He was an MTV guy. I know, but come on. We're comics, and he's not one of us. No, no, you got that right. Right? He's not one of us. Oh, Tara Reid and him would love Hewitt. Oh, okay, okay. Tara Reid seemed like she could have been a lot, though.

Yeah, she's a nightmare She was hot Kimmel got him in the biz No way Yeah Kimmel got a lot of Bill Simmons, Corolla Bill Simmons got him? Yeah he got all these people in Corolla

Oh Ashley Simpson, Jamie Presley Man this guy was on a roll Good for him This guy was fucking everyone He does look a little like, okay, he's been damaged by life. You have to be damaged by life to want this kind of lifestyle. Wait, wait. Is he married to a woman named Siri Printer?

What? That can't be right. Oh, Siri Pinter. Okay, I was about to say. Is that a relation to Harold Pinter? Uh-oh. Give it a goog. Who's Harold Pinter? A greatoh. Give it a goog. Who's Harold Pinter?

A great, famous playwright. Really? Yeah. Famous playwright. Betrayal was him. No, Mark Pinter's the dad. Okay. Good pull, though.

I like where your head's at. Anyway, I'm talking too much theater to you guys. Well, it's New York. Even though what really looks good on Broadway, I get off at JFK. Again, not to break that kind of lifestyle. I get off at JFK and a huge mural. That's a moral. Yeah, that's a moral.

A huge mural of a new Broadway musical called Shucked. I saw it with the corn. Oh, my God. I had a good laugh about that. That's where we're at. Yeah, there you go. Look at this. My friend is a theater person, and she goes,

I just feel sorry for all the people in that cast. Because she knows what, just look at them. Is it a musical? What is it? Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's got a kernel of truth. Did they say that? I'm just throwing that out there.

You see, you would be great on the team. No, on the PR team for sure. Oh, yeah yeah you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah yeah you know um yeah shucked i don't know i don't know usually they pull it from a movie or you know hey we'll do a show that's a new thing it's all movies it's all movies oh the uh broadway yeah it's pathetic man i remember the big one with Spider-Man on Broadway? I didn't, yeah. And it just couldn't open. It was cursed.

It couldn't open? That would be a funny show, is a failing giant play. Yeah. Where one guy gets carried. He's Spider-Man. Dude, did you ever see Noises Off? Do you guys know that play? Check that out.

They made a movie of it, too, but the play is way better. It's about a production that goes fucking haywire I saw it on Broadway with Peter Gallagher if you remember oh I'm talking too much

no I met him once in a store I was in like Peter Gallagher I was in like 7th grade in a bodega and I was pissed drunk with a friend of mine

and I was like you're Peter fucking Gallagher you said that and his wife and he was like ugh you could tell he was just like fuck this drunk kid and his wife was like that you're Peter fucking Gallagher. You said that? And his wife, and he was like, ugh. You could tell he was just like, fuck this drunk kid. And his wife was like, that's so sweet.

He knows you. See, his wife knows what's up. Where Gallagher is short, that vision he had. He's a good actor. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I haven't heard anything. He can sing, too.

Really? He can sing. He did like Guys and Dolls and shit. This is a solid cast. You got P lapone and jane curtain holy shit from what what is it this is oh noises off michael fret dude if you get a chance fucking there's a movie here yeah play is so funny it's just about it how it goes haywire have you ever been in a play either yeah i grew up in plays i was a big play guy yeah isn't it the fucking real play is just what sam said what goes on behind the scenes the little romances that always happen always you know or and the fucking fighting oh and the lighting

guy is mad and then the the one guy the prop guy has got a vision and everybody hates him. And you find out the guy running the soundboard is wanted in three Midwestern states. Exactly, exactly. You mean Joe's real name is Arnie? You know, that kind of thing. Yeah, and you go in the set designer guy's garage and it's just swastikas and all that stuff. I'm an alleged human trafficker. How do they never convince jobs i guess they're people i i always say in job interviews well i'm a people person and it usually helps me when i when i was looking for work back in the day so why do you want to

wait i used to wait table in new york and uh'd be like, so why do you want to work here at Cité's Steakhouse, a French steakhouse? Again, I don't want to hurt you. You know, it was upscale. Oh, okay. And they'd be like, why do you want to? And I'm like, I just, I'm a people person. And the guy looks at me and he goes, come on, man. Like he called me on it.

Yeah, that's great. And I said, so then I said, OK, you want this level? You want truths? I go, like Nicholson and a few good men. I go, I need the money, Frank. I need the money. I got my balls against the wall. You know, I got a fucking dental bill out the fucking ass.

And then he goes, OK, but do you like our food? Wine? And I go, oh, that's the level of truth. And he said, we'll be in touch. But you got the job. I did. Hey, there you go. I did.

I did. There was a fire. A lot of waiters got hurt. So I was called in. Did you? I waited tables for 10 years. You did? waiters got hurt, so I was called in. Did you? I waited tables for 10 years. You did? Oh, yeah.

Is it brutal here? It's brutal. No, never in New York, thank God. I would eat everything off the plates. Same here. Were you a plate eater? Oh, yeah. Same here.

I mean, if it's a shrimp, it's individual. Did they touch it? No, they didn't touch it. Let's do it. It's got a casing on it. We would go in the garage. Cité had a big garage. It was in Midtown. I think it's got a casing on it we would go in the garage that sitay had a big garage in midtown i think it's still there and we go in the garage and eat shit oh yeah smoke joints oh

yeah and i would go to tables sometimes i got too high and i would i got fired on a night i was high because i went to a table three times with a bottle of wine and ruined the cork. Three times. Like, oh, I'm sorry, I'll get you another. Re-bottle. Wow. And it was a family. They were uptight.

The father was uptight. And I did it after the third time. He goes, I want another waiter. Oh, that's devastating. And that was when I got called on the carpet the next day. Yeah. You know? That's the worst.

And I said, but come on, I'm a people. Yeah, I used to wait tables at this high end place. I was trying to make a couple bucks. It's called the Windsor Court. It was like a high end in New Orleans. And this was like old school,ante southern white rich people you know I had a crummer you know you had a crummer you know that shit and I had a white jacket

the whole thing I was so out of place hung over every time you didn't get there at 5 in the morning you had to chop shit it was brutal it was horrible it was like the military but opening the wine was so fucking scary it was stressful you're right on the spot. And they're like, I'm 19 or whatever.

I'm hungover. I'm sweating vodka. And I'm like, ah. And then you break it. And then you have to redo it. Then you ask the old guy to help. Oh, my god. The old guy to help you.

Yeah, that was a tough gig. There it is, the Windsor Court. I mean, it was old school slavery shit going on. Holy shit. Yeah. A lot of mint juleps floating around. Oh, yeah. A lot of se going on. Shit. Yeah. A lot of mint juleps floating around. Oh, yeah. A lot of seersucker.

Look at that. It's like the Last Supper. Oh, my God. That's like beautiful. Would it be people like, we're going to get ourselves a nice bottle of Chablis. I do declare. I do declare. I guarantee.

We were doing that at his wedding with a lot of us shit face going, I do declare. Oh, yeah. It was down there. Starborough's going, I do declare i guarantee you we were doing that at his wedding with a lot of us shit face going i do declare oh yeah i was down there starver was going i do declare i'm gonna get my pecker suck tonight where's mark's wedding it was in new orleans i saw pictures of your wedding it looked like fun oh it was a hoot and a holler it was yeah what'd you do with new orleans right in the french quarter holy shit i don't know how you people, you grew up there? Yeah. How do you survive the summers there? Oh, it's a nightmare. I always say New Orleans is great to visit.

It's fun. But living there is like a drag queen in the morning. You know, it's fun at night. Wow, that's a great line. It sparkles and everything. But in the morning, you know, when you live there, you see the next day. You know, and it ain't pretty. And you have those like flying roaches, right?

Oh, yeah. That's like a New Orleans thing. Is that right? Yeah, they have cockroaches that fly. Yeah. That's another. Can I have a napkin? I have to spit.

Please. Sorry. What do you got? Tobacco? No, I. Hey, We Might Be Drunk is brought to you by Fume. There are entire courses about how to break habits. It's not easy, baby. But Fume is here to you by Fume. There are entire courses about how to break habits. It's not easy, baby.

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okay was i gonna say that's another thing i didn't mention in this collapse of civilization that is gonna happen happen sooner than anyone thinks sure is this good for your audience oh yeah so is the eco stuff like you're talking about flying fucking roaches the pandemic was an animal thing it's gonna get worse yeah yeah It's only going to go down. You know, it can't go up. No, I mean, just the diseases, the fucking. Pandemics. Yeah, the pandemic. I mean, the pandemic almost killed all of us in a sense, like the mental illness.

The mental illness was the worst part, I think. I think it revealed a lot of. Yes. A lot of mental problems that we all have. Right. And some people just snapped. To see people. Yeah, it revealed a lot of yes a lot of mental problems that we that we all have right and some people just snapped to see people yeah i think i love zoom though zoom was great i love i personally i like the shows the comedy you did you wrote one of the very oh you funny fuck come on i remember being in my i i did a zoom show the first one i did and i being in my, I did a Zoom show, the first one I did, and I was in my fucking kitchen and really trying to give it my all. And about two minutes in, I was like, this is stupid.

Yeah. I couldn't hear anybody. Yeah. You know? My friend put it best. He said, it sucks to bomb at home. You know? Because if you bomb at the club, you go, all right, I'm getting out of here.

And you can wash it off a little at home. But at home, you just go from there to the couch. Your wife has seen you. Yeah. It's literally like a sex robot versus a live show. Yes. It's a real woman. I feel like a live show is a real woman.

And the Zoom is like fucking a robot or whatever. I don't, nothing. Me and my wife have sex now on Zoom. So that is a good thing for me. You know, because my body's gotten a little tired of all of it. Sure. How long have you been married? Ten years.

Oh, that's not bad. It's not long. Ten. Nice. Yeah, so like kind of later, right? It's what? I mean, you weren't married super young. That's kind of nice.

No, I wasn't married young at all, man. As a matter of fact, since it's a hard i think marriage is very hard i don't know what you think i it's so difficult you know are you new you're newly married oh i can't you know bring it on i want the wisdom no i'm saying that i'm sure you're great right now but it becomes 2027 it's all going down well the marriage too you you and your wife are going to have to survive, you know, the era of makeshift weapons, et cetera.

That might bring you two together though. Yeah, that's true. Something to do together. Yeah. Honey, honey, we got to sharpen the broom. That's what I'll be doing.

Sharpening, like mom sticks. It's like prison. You know? We're in prison. You could have a shank. Yeah. Okay, good to know. I don't think the three of us are equipped for what's gonna happen no absolutely no way you got allergies he needs

yeah i have bad digestive right right i'm not gonna make it and i'm gonna need my zoloft like oh i'll be like i'll be like i need my i'll be telling this to like whatever alt right like i figure i'll be strapped to like one of those huge trucks in the front like in mad max you know just telling you like i'll be earning my keep by going uh all right i have sex with my wife on zoom like yeah trying to stay the insult comics will be big then. What, Jeff Ross? Oh, yeah, that's right. Jeffrey Ross will be strapped to a tank and be like, oh, yeah, tell your face.

A lot of that. Insulting random. You've got to keep the morale up. Yeah, that's true. Absolutely. Yeah, there's no funny people in Mad Max or Waterworld. Nothing. There's no comics.

Which is why I wasn't crazy about the mad max movies you nailed it for me no fucking humor at all no comedy escape from new york's got humor that's true like brain and stuff you got you know you got some weirdos that's true ernest borgnine yeah that's why he brings so much humor yeah i love that guy but my friend we went and saw flower moon or whatever the score yeah it's it's fun it's not fun it's it's fun i found it to be the feel-good film of the holiday season yeah but my point is it didn't have that scorsese humor like casino has a lot of jokes wolf of wall street has a lot of jokes and a part of this funniness that had no scorsese little uh irony or or you know serious subject matter man i guess so you know what's scary is to see de niro i didn't see the movie

but i saw a couple of stills of de niro and he looks so serious oh he's great in it but yeah yeah he's just incredible when he's like, you know, that fucking dead on. Yes. Like the movie, which did have humor. Good. Was it Goodfellas? Goodfellas. Where De Niro was whacking everybody like and they would stop at slow motion.

That meant you're dead. Remember? Yeah, right. Yeah. Him just smoking a cigarette. Nah, nah, nah, nah. That's a fucking cool shot. Oh, man. Yeah. No, I'm with you. him just smoking a cigarette nah nah nah nah that's a fucking cool ass shot oh man

yeah no I'm with you it wasn't there wasn't enough like you need a release of tension when oh you saw it too yeah I didn't

I didn't love it to be honest is it in the theater is that where you saw it Scorsese I go right to it Tarantino I go right to it I love Scorsese who was the other one

Tarantino me too me too I feel like you'd be good in a Tarantino I would love to be. Kate Berlant got in the last one. I saw that.

She was good. I wrote her a message. She was fucking cool. You did? Yeah, I was like, I just saw you in a little Hollywood. Congrats. Yeah, I should tell her that. It's been enough time.

You missed the window. I did miss the window. Seven years ago. Well, he's making one more. No. The movie critic, right? That's what it's called? Oh, yeah.

Tarantino. Well, you've only got, what, two left? I think this is it. This is it? No, I thought Hollywood Ending was his last one. No, no, he's got one more. Oh, I can't wait to see that. The movie critic, oh, that must be fun.

His movies are horrible. He can just do whatever he wants, and people will see it. He's proved to me, too, that DiCaprio and Pitt are way more than just pretty boys. Oh, yeah. What fucking great actors do both of those guys are? Well, I mean, DiCaprio came out of the gate with a special needs kid. That's true. What was that?

Gilbert Graves. Oh, that's right. Basketball Diaries, he was solid, too. I didn't see the Jim Carroll thing. Is that what it was? I don't know. I'm sorry. It's not a Christmas movie.

No, I think I was right. Basketball Diaries is about all these people. It's about Jim Carroll. Yeah, you're right. Whoa. His life as a high school basketball star. 47% on Rotten Tea. Come on.

Bruno Kirby died so young. Lorraine Bracco was the therapist in that. Sopranos. And Goodfellas she was in movies are great to talk about huh is it because we all it's like a shared yes it's our shared culture and sports too I guess sports if you're a sports fan is there is there not anything worse than being in a group of people and a few of them aren't into sports. Yeah.

And I'm very sensitive to that. Like a lot of guys will just, or a lot of people will just fucking keep going and I'll be like, no, no, Dolores. Dolores is bored. Well, they don't like their basketball. They don't like the women's basketball. They don't watch it.

Yeah, I like it. You're the only guy. That's your number one. No, it's not. Basketball? Oh, yeah, basketball. Yeah, yeah. What?

WNBA, I thought you were saying. No, NBA is my number one. But I like the WNBA, though. I do. Oh, yeah, I can watch that. Yeah, I just love basketball first but yeah you're what are you baseball no hockey hockey one and then base yankees and giants the giants are so bad in football i'm a football tough to wash what they're just it's tough well now they never gave

a chance now it's like watching oh yeah you like the saints now the giants are like watching just like horrible traffic jam like it's just like i don't even hear about the giant here but the jets a little and then they got killed the other night the jets tease success but you know and the aaron rogers thing was like the greatest cocktease how about that how about that the vaccine got him no but uh you know the giants it was just like they went from like an interesting playoff team last year to probably the worst team in the league it's pretty they're really they're really yeah it really and it really hurt me because i was very up for this year yeah like i need a. When the world is this fucked up,

sports are important. Sports are huge. The Rangers, they look like they're going to be big time cup contenders this year. They're fucking awesome. I think when the streamers, these Apples or Amazon, when they take sports, TV's done. What else besides news and sports

is getting people to watch TV? Yeah. TV is a... That's true. Although it is nice to have an escape. Like, when you turn on Netflix, at least you're not going to see the news. At least you know... Oh, yeah.

When you turn on Amazon... That's true. You're talking about streamers. Like, you're talking about network TV is going to be done. That's what I'm saying, yeah. 2027. All they have is sports and news. Yeah.

Actually, when the shit goes down, the news gets very good it goes way up yeah it's like i'm down here and they're the technology has gotten so good with filming shit and oh yeah they're on the ground and they're stabbings going on right next to them and you're like smoking a joint and i order it for instance i order in you i i love hurricanes you probably don't new orleans but in la to watch a thing go to category five and when it makes landfall i always make sure i have like a pizza or something you know what i mean like to watch watch. I get it. I mean, you see that patio furniture going in Florida

and you're like, hey, all right. This is good TV. But I know that people have hurricane parties. Oh, we had them. In these fucking zones. We had them, yeah. That was a big deal. School was shut down, so you got after it.

You got after it, yeah. Sometimes it rained enough, you get a canoe out there down Main Street, you know? It was crazy in new york when the because the fucking subways when they were flooded oh that was oh my god that's the future that is what i'm talking about with the eco shit cities underwater you know what might be cool is like you throw on like scuba gear and you just fucking use the train still moves you get on it could be kind of futuristic yeah i like that's fun. Yeah. I like that.

And New Yorkers are like underwater still pushing to get on the train. Right. You get like a little mariachi band still coming on. Yeah. And for some reason. Showtime, showtime, showtime. And for some reason, the announcements are clearer underwater. For some reason. That's hilarious. Nobody knows why. I like the announcements are clearer underwater. For some reason.

That's hilarious. Nobody knows why. I like the hobo coming on. The government. And the dangerous people are less dangerous underwater because they can't move as quick. Or how about the one guy? I was trying to work on a bit about when I made eye contact with a crazy guy in the train and that's like the closest you come to feeling like like a woman at a bar. We accidentally lock eyes.

You're like, fuck, he's coming over. Yeah, that's funny, man. That's funny. It's such a fucking awful moment where you're like, I saw a guy getting like yesterday I was walking around. I saw a guy getting yelled at by just a crazy dude. And you're just like the party's like, do I stay and make sure he's okay? But you're like, I'm in a rush. I can't, you know.

It's tough. It's New York. I usually am also in a rush. So you grew up here. What was it like on Staten Island in the 30s? I mean, you know. Big Jim Brady ran the town no um so i was born in brooklyn and at nine years old my dad moved us to the country oh which was staten island and i gotta

tell you though his dad was chris di stefano yeah i gotta tell you though we were the own when i when i moved there uh we were the only house on the block surrounded by woods. And I thought, I felt like I was in a horror movie. Like, I was like, fuck, man. How old were you for this? I was in my 40s. That's an old joke, but very good. That's a classic.

That's a classic. So the island grew quickly. Oh, my God, yeah. But we were when they called the Verrazano Bridge the Guinea Gankplank. Wow. Because so many Italians moved to Staten Island. Right. And from Brooklyn.

And we were one of them. Are you Italian? My dad's Sicilian. My mom's Jewish. Oh, okay. My dad's Sicilian. My mom's Jewish. Okay. My dad's Sicilian. They're both dead. Fucking mob got them. God damn it. Age takes us all.

My mom is Sicilian. Is that right? Oh yeah. Oh, that's why. Do you identify as Jewish because of your mom or no? I'm Italian. Very Italian. I'm in a rush. Was it kind of nice going back?

Because you live in the country and you got to go back to the big apples. Well, I was always a city kid. I hated Staten Island. Yeah. Fuck Pete Davidson. You know what I mean? This whole thing about, oh, Staten Island, it is such a shithole. Uh-huh.

You know? Then and now. God bless them, though. That's what Don Rickles- Well, Pete still lives there. Pete's sticking with him. And the Joker. Sal Volcano lives there.

Chris D. No, Chris is coming back. Oh, okay. I have no interest whatsoever in Staten Island. No. There's nothing there. There's no culture there. Yeah, you feel disconnected. Yes!

I got my first vax there. No way. It was great for that. Your first vax? My first vaccine. Why there? Because there was no- Nobody.

Why? No one gave it to me. Oh, because that's a Trump era. That's like very gave. Oh, because there. That's a Trump. That's like very red. Well, that's when that's when it was like you were like really excited to get the vaccine. I was too. But so then I got it. And oh, my God, it was so easy.

I was like, no appointments. Then in Manhattan, it was like impossible. Oh, yeah. So it was. Yeah, it was great. I fucking I'm such an idiot. I got to Johnson and Johnson. Yeah.

And I thought I was doing great. I was like i and i had to go outside of la big time yeah by the way i love that they were like by the way there's one bad one you're like out of three that's pretty bad yeah you're fucking you gotta have good ones that's true that is true blood clots i heard for johnson and johnson yeah yeah i don't feel well now don't listen don't listen to anything we say, medical. We're fucking idiots. We'll put a little disclaimer on the bottom. Still doing misinformation.

I hear it's blood clots. We don't know shit. No, no, no. But I remember being excited to get it, and Staten Island was the spot. Oh, look at that. You got a Ferris wheel now? I didn't know that. I've never seen that.

It's the case for living on Staten Island. A lot of mobsters moved there. Well, Chris DeStefano, our friend, moved there, and he's back now. But when he was living there, I remember doing this podcast on Staten Island. He was like, you got to move here. He was saying that the way you push a guy to come to a party, you know his name. Yes, yes. You know when the guy's like, no, this party is fucking great.

He wanted to get his friends there. That's it. You know what they say when it's a good neighborhood? We're all booked up here. Good point. Good point. There's not really any availability. That's true.

That's true. That's true. But also, you're in Staten Island. You have to get to this. The city is where it's at. Of course. Because I'm- There's nice parts of Staten Island.

I just, I wouldn't want to, you know, I wouldn't want to- I wouldn't want to live there. No. I'd rather live in the other four boroughs by a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Well, just getting back here, the boat takes forever. And then the bridge is $8 million toll.

It's unbelievable. It's crazy tolls. What is the bridge? There's payment plans now for the Venezuela. I know, right? I believe it's $16. It's unbelievable. That's crazy.

When I was a child, it was a nickel. No. No, I'm kidding. That sounds very funny that sounds funny yeah i don't uh i wouldn't want to live there guinea gangplank for owner no that's that's old oh no really oh well that's with easy pass oh that's the easy yeah everybody's got an easy pass i know So I'm thinking of moving because my sister, and we're very tight, my sister, again, not to hurt-

Six. That I have that kind of relationship with family. Family is everything to us. Every comedian just- Stop listening. They're like, I can't- Yeah. Oh, no.

I had a disastrous upbringing. Really? My sister has Yes You perked up huh? Yeah It was fucking crazy Touched?

It was fucking crazy Huh? Diddle? Oh no Oh okay No that's the one thing I didn't get Alright Well you weren't cute enough

Did you get that? No That's funny that you broke It's also funny to say That's the one thing I didn't get Yeah Yeah right Like it's a nintendo yeah two things i never got a teddy rug spin or molested next christmas but um my sister's a house in woodstock new york and fucking woodstock the hudson valley it's beautiful it's fucking beautiful and i'm thinking of moving there wow yeah and i'm

thinking of doing it as early as uh this summer i've been in is that easy to get to airport so for the road from it's a pain in the ass no they're actually albany airport is pretty close okay but it's a drag to drive into the city because it's two hours and you hit the gw it's like because i did a show in bushwick when i was hanging in woodstock the last couple months and uh that was quite a ride oh yeah into bushwick you know and you get used to the nature and the bucolic right the rural setting it's so gorgeous there like i would get up every day look at that look at that unreal and it's crazy i think it's that hudson valley man it's so close but so far it's yeah it's just great man i love it and there's yeah just a bunch of sirens doing yoga look at that

hanging out yeah no it's it's amazing nature some reason, they've just got amazing food there, too. It's just like- It's an artist community. Yeah. Yeah. So it's the opposite of Staten Island. Exactly. It's the anti-Staten-

There, it's plumbers and firemen. You know, everybody's talking about 9-11 on Staten Island. Fucking 9-11. Yeah. Still. Never forget. Yeah, yeah. 9-11, 9-11. Yeah. Still. Never forget. Yeah, yeah. 9-11, 9-11.

Fucking never forget. You know, constantly. Yes. Constantly. He's like, shut the fuck up. I know. We're trying to forget. We're trying to forget.

You know, in Woodstock, it's like, hey, man, what's up? What's up? And people are like, I know a guy in Woodstock who's been in a drum circle for about 30 years. His family did an intervention. They showed up at the drum circle, and they were like, all right, look, Steve, how many times can you celebrate the sun going down? Because that's what they do. They drum until it... Yeah, and why no deodorant?

Just because you're drumming. You don't have to smell like shit. Absolutely. I went to Occupy Wall Street. A lot of drumming there. Me too. Yeah. You went to it?

Good, good for you. Yeah, I popped in. Did a little man on the street. Yeah, I wasn't really a part of it, but I popped over i wanted to see it i loved it i was on ted alexander that got fucking x'd out oh they fucking x that shit a lot of what do you call it macing they were just mason people no i think was it bloomberg yeah i think so i think so and what they did is that they just declared all these occupy movements

a health hazard that was the way they got rid of it and they just declared all these Occupy movements a health hazard. That was the way they got rid of it. And they just, whoop. What was their reasoning for that? Yeah, they said, yeah. And that was before the pandemic. They were like, it's just a health hazard. They're leaving garbage.

There's feces. Well, by the way, isn't that funny? That's how people found out the outdoor contagion, the outdoor COVID wasn't contagious outdoors because of like the BLM protests. Is that right? Is that what it was? Oh, because nobody got it when they were protesting. I think that was the thing. People were like, holy, because it was the same people scolding the spring breakers who were like, we got to protest. And it's like, well, it seems like people aren't getting it outdoors. That's true.

I don't know. Yeah, I agree. I remember, man, the pandemic was so crazy i remember there's a great park right across the street from where i live in la again and i'm walking around i'm walking around and one of my buddies it's so funny because i have a dog i meet all these people i would never have anything to do with and this one dude asian guy he was like he had a mask on outdoors and i was like you you wear it outdoors huh and he's like dude i figure it's got to be in the air all around us and it

flipped me out you know yeah it flipped me out back then yeah that was back when we were cleaning mail you know we're wiping down shit. I was napalming oranges. Thank God for the peel. That was like, I mean, fucking Lysol wipes. Remember that? Oh, yeah. I got to get more Lysol. Lysol was unavailable. Unavailable.

Remember, they ran out of toilet paper everywhere. They ran out of Purell. It was a wild time. Luckily, I had the New York Post for toilet paper. Really shitty newspaper. Good sports section now that's true and a great tweet twitter follow because their headlines are so ridiculous and easy to to joke about i like them yeah they're fun to grab yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah man um you've been have you been on the road a lot lately yeah yeah you you every weekend we're pushing it oh every weekend i like the road i do too but the way i do it i go with my buddy

jt habersad comic we go city to city we don't just stay in for weekend. Okay. We're bopping like today, City Winery. Tomorrow, Philly Punchline. Oh. Next day, Laugh It Up in Poughkeepsie. Yep, yep. Then I go to Dojo in Jersey. Yep. Then we go to Arlington, Virginia.

And then, like, so that. So how many days in a row usually that's rowdy i don't want to say yeah no it some of the trips are like two weeks whoa you know and some of the places we stay a couple of nights but um it's a lot it's a lot like i like it in the sense that bam you're in a new city and you're in a new club, new audiences. And that's cool. That's great. You know, and I'd go through the South, too.

Yeah. Louisiana. I had a great time in Houma. Oh, wow. These fucking people. I used to be afraid of like the South, Arkansas. And I realized they fucking love to laugh. Oh, yeah.

I used to be uptight about the politics and shit. It's just bullshit. It's just people, salt of the earth, down to earth. It's amazing. Yeah. Some of the best shows I had are like, I think Knoxville, Tennessee was like my best crowd in the year. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. It's like unbelievable. Tennessee. It's amazing, right? Yeah. But it's just cities you wouldn't expect sometimes, and they fucking come out. Yeah. Unbelievable. Tennessee. It's amazing, right? Yeah. But it's just cities you wouldn't expect sometimes, and they fucking come out. Oh, Houma. Houma.

No one goes there. And it was packed. I think it was a brewery. Yeah. It was packed. And, you know, I talked about I'm an animal lover, which is hilarious down there. And I say, I hate the way you people trick ducks with that bullshit that's bullshit you know and i started and then after the show they these guys who own the place

were showing me videos of their dog dragging a deer through the woods and they said would you like to come with us tomorrow on a on a hunt hunt? This is how like a deliverance type thing. Yes, exactly. You know, and I was like, where's my Zoloft? That's how that movie would start.

And the dog runs up and gives it to you. Yeah, man. Oh, it is great when you end up being the stereotype you want and they become the one that they, you know, yeah,

you both kind of fill your fucking obligation. Yeah, yeah, yeah you got the new york jew with the zoloft you got the court you're like right right good he is is that what you do i am no not right but i do take all i take all this i have a big thing i've just you know i'm a cvs bag with me just you never know i'll be gone for like two weeks you You never know what's going to happen. Fuck yeah. I'll go out for a long time too sometimes. Do you? Do you do that?

Let me ask you both. Do you get exhausted on the road even though you like it? Yeah. Sometimes, yeah. The food is shitty, yeah. You get numb to it where you're just like. That's true. Where you're like by day five, you're just like, all right.

My day what? Day five. Yeah, you're like another same all right. My day what? Day five. Yeah, you're like another same day. It's just bad for my brain. I want to do different shit. Even though the city is different, it's almost like the routine is too similar. Yes. And then the problem is people go, oh, you're going to this town.

You got to do this. You're like, I have no time. You land, you go to the gig. You got to eat at our fried hot dog uh fried oreo and you're like cool i've been on the road for two weeks i'm trying not to die yeah i'm trying so true man i see you're working out too on i have been and that is because i go so off the rails on the road do you guys party on the road yeah too much yeah me i smoke a little and it it it's fun in the moment man and also after the shows i don't know about you guys i need to come down you gotta come down yeah

of course of course it's insane like tonight coming back to new york i'm gonna have a lot of friends i haven't seen yeah for a long time it's gonna be insane and i'm trying to be clean it's tough i'm trying to be clean. It's tough. I'm trying to be clean because I don't know about you guys, but when I party a little, I have no interest in working out. None. Of course. Of course.

You're human. But the worst with drinking is you go, man, I had a bad set. I need a drink. Then you have a good set and you're like, let's have a drink. Yes. Totally. It works. Then you have an okay set.

You're like, well, I deserve a drink. An okay set. I don't settle for the okay you can't because if you become an okay like that was okay right and you got to get this all in before 2027 you know that's well you and you have a ton of funny shit out there i mean the uh in ruins is the other is the other recent one that was a killer special i loved it yeah i really i i i have a secret weapon the guy who directs me also helps me because i'm all over the place in my sets i don't have a very written thing i'm like like, I'm going to go with this idea. So the director, Stephen Fine Arts, do you guys know Stephen?

Anyway, he fucking directed both my specials. And now he directs. He directed Marin's last special. He's great. And he helps me organize my material. I tape everything. And he actually has guys go through it and say this bit, this bit. Wow.

And that's kind of how i work that's nice but i need to get more discipline with the writing i'm very like into the performing well you're great at it i love it the loosey goosey keeps it authentic and fun right right you don't be too written i'm too I think. I could use a little Eddie. No, but you do a lot of off-the-cuff shit. I do it at the end. You do, too. Yeah, just because I'm bored with the set. Yeah, of course.

And I want to do new shit. I also, yeah, you get- Isn't it great? I mean, that's why I feel like that's the rush of it. I used to open for a tell, and I and he would i could tell be so bored with the written stuff that he would just bring you up on stage at the end and you would just fuck around with the tell which by the way it's like that's however quick you think you are you're not quicker than david so it would be a thing where i'd be like well first off i'll never get a high self

esteem working with this guy like i'm never gonna be like i'm fucking funny you're like oh no you just you're like i'm fine i'm whatever he's he's the quickest he is insane i this is what i skank fest right um i saw you there yeah right right he came up after me right and i had just finished like a rant about the military industrial complex and a tell comes up and he goes wow this guy is uh really for the people and it's funny because he looks like he makes his own ice cream i didn't even know what that meant but it was so funny so funny i saw him last night at gotham he was at gotham you saw him last night at gotham yeah and he had some great new stuff and he had a moment where he went oh and the crowd was like honey huh? And he goes, sorry, I had a little Fetterman. I was like, what a great way to cover that.

Oh, shit. Oh, man, it's just so funny to say that. I mean, we talk about him so much in this podcast because we just all... Is that right? Well, I just feel like every New York comic loves Dave Attell, so his name just comes up so much. And he's so New York.

I don't hardly ever see him out in L.A. No. He's outside smoking a cigarette when he's there. He's not in the club. He's outside having a cigarette. That's true. I remember seeing him once at the improv in L.A., and it was just so weird.

It's weird. We both were like, what? And I'm like, I know. And he's like, I know. It just didn't feel right. Yeah. But it's so fun to run into him. I know what you're thinking.

I look like I work in gun safety. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, I remember one of my favorite Attell memories was like, I remember we did Tarrytown Music Hall and we were driving back and he was so fucking good, but he was like, I stink. I'm the worst. I'm the worst fucking comic. Because he was doing, did he feel like he was doing the same stuff? Why did he say that? Because he does it all the time. He'll kill and he feel like he was doing the same stuff why did he

say that i because he does it all the time he'll kill and he'll say that and i was like is he serious oh yeah oh yeah so he's a real comic no i mean that's real but isn't it weird but like because we're like mad that he feels that way but a part of us is like that keeps him great i don't know it does well isn't that the dunning kruger the dumb guy thinks he's smart and the smart you know the bad comic thinks he's brilliant and hilarious and then the great comic thinks he's a hack but i remember driving back with him being like dave what are you talking about we all think you're the best and he was like well i'm funnier than you guys oh that's the best wow good that he knows that because sometimes he's so down on yourself you're like do you know

how great you are but i think he knows a little bit. And he'll still zing you. He's the fucking, he's the best, you know? How long did you tour with Dave? Not that long. It was never like I was his every week guy, but it would be like, you know, you remember, it would be like every so often, right? Yeah, yeah. And he was just so fun to be out with. Do you still go out with him here and there?

No. Yeah. I don't see him as often because I have- You're all over. No, also that that but we still do the cellar but dave shows up at like 1 a.m yeah and i have drilling on my building for the last 14 months that starts at 8 a.m so i can't call in late anymore right oh man but uh yeah he's a treat to see though but he'll go he'll show up really late usually oh yeah he likes Oh, yeah. He likes to look nice. By the way, just to get this in, pet peeve fucking construction.

Uh-oh. It's so ubiquitous. It's so all over the fucking place. It's wild. And I just heard drilling in your building. Oh, my God. Well, I'll send clips. They're fucking insane.

You've seen them on the pod, but I'll send you one, Matt, to play up. They're fucking insane. It's wild. What he's showing're fucking insane. It's wild. What he's showing is comical. It's like a bit. Yeah. I don't know about you, but as I've gotten older, too, I'm so sensitive to noise. Yeah, same.

You too? Noise and light. Lights too. Yeah, I got a light in my eye. I'm ruined. I'm trying to get a nap on the plane. The one guy's got the shade open. Oh, that motherfucker with the shade open.

It's 7 a.m. Close the fucking shade. Right. Do you ever say anything? Nah, I can't. Me neither. One time, the guy fell asleep in my way. That's my fucking window, by the way.

Look at this. No. That's your window? Yeah. I just sent you another one, Matt. This is a more recent one. That's insane. Wow.

And that's ours. Yeah, 8 a.m. Wow. 8 a.. And that's ours. Yeah, 8 a.m. Wow. 8 a.m.? Yeah, yeah. It's great. At 8 a.m.? What do you do, Sam?

Have you complained? Yeah, but they just don't give. I mean, it's city shit. They don't care. But I'll show you. Yeah, I just sent you a new one. This is more recent. This is great for an audio podcast, by the way.

I'm like, listen to the worst thing. I thought it is still. No, it's video, too. Look at this shit. Wow. I love that you're documenting it and by the way it's like i know some people will be like it's not that bad the fucking apartment's vibrating yeah they think you're at work that's the problem it's crazy but like it's been like 14 months so i'm like i'm going a little crazy 14 months apparently it's been three years i've only lived there 14 months but i'm dude where is it it's been like 14 months. I'm like, I'm going a little crazy. 14 months? Apparently it's been three years. I've only lived there 14 months.

But I'm- Where is it? It's in the village. Okay. But I'm- That's great. Yeah, I love the area. But I'm literally walking around like my fucking head.

You know when you're just like not right? And then you sleep well for one day and you're like, man, I feel like- Do you sleep better on the road? Dude, it's- I sleep in those hotels like they think I'm dead a lot of times. They check on me. They send what they call a checker. Hit you with a stick.

Sir, sir, sir. It is crazy how much better I sleep on the road. Same here. And if the bed is awesome on the roof. That's rare, though. I feel like every hotel bed sucks. You what? I feel like every hotel pillow sucks.

I hate the pillows. But then when you go to the upscale hotels. I still kind of, I feel like it's all the same. I've gotten a few good pillows. Have you ever thought of taking a terrific goose down pillow with you? I used to, and it's insane. It's insane. You're a psycho.

It's too big. You're a psycho. Yeah. I travel with a MyPillow. I don't know. I try to support the company. I don't like the pillow. I just really like him.

Yeah, yeah. Mike Liddell or whatever. He's just a great guy. Love the crucifix. That was hilarious when you see that clip of him just losing it when the guy questioned

the quality of his pillow. Did he lose it? Oh, he was like, how dare you? It's a great pillow. And you're like, all right, at least he stands behind it. I mean, he made it when the guy questioned the quality of his pillow like that's the did he lose oh he was like he was like how dare you it's a great pillow and you're like all right at least he stands behind i mean he made in the basement got divorced through the whole thing it was a real endeavor wow good for him where are you where are you going to be coming up like in december and stuff on the road check it out after this tour ends like the 20th, I'm not back on the road until February. Oh, wow.

And you know what? I need that break. Yeah. I just need it because boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, all over this year, big time. That's a great one. What do you think of the website? I love it. My podcast, Apocalypse Soon.

Great. Which 2027, I guess now is the date. Yeah. The clips I see are hilarious oh yeah i was on one i think i think i was on episode yeah that's right yeah was it over zoom yeah yeah that might have been at the very beginning now yeah you know i love the dojo that's a fun room it is right yeah it's nice and little and fun the crowds are banging. Whitney Cummings was on here, by the way, talking about how her favorite bit is you heckling yourself.

Oh, that's a classic. A lot of people love that one. That hit home. They love that overseas. Have you guys done a bunch of performing overseas? Yes. We're just starting. Depends on the city.

It's not all great. The what? It depends on the city. I did, and this is brutal, twice the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Wow. Check this out. 28 shows, an hour, no opener, in 29 days. One day off.

And every day is like fucking Groundhog Day. Yeah. And Scotland and Edinburgh is beautiful. Edinburgh particularly is like fucking beautiful. Oh, yeah. Did you enjoy it? The first year, I killed. and I had all this fucking, I then got Oslo and Melbourne.

Where else did I go? Oh, fucking I've been going back and forth to Amsterdam still. You know, it's like a market. It's like a world market. So you're seen by all these people all fucking over. Right. You know? Where have you guys gone?

Soho Theater I did a few times in London. Oh, yeah. I just did London this year. You did? Where? Leicester. How was that? Leicester Square?

Amazing. Yeah. I was going to say, I mean, your hour must have gotten airtight from doing it. The what? Your hour must have been come dude it really it was like going it was like fucking going through a fire and you come out and you're like i was a better comic for it oh yeah yeah it's weird that that misery and that repetition is like yeah it's like the equivalent of the gym for an athlete it's like it sucks absolutely and i came back i did it twice i

then did it four years later with not as much success i i don't know what the fuck happened and they could be brutal this guy the scots they could be like you're fucking so not suck they say something they say shit like you're fucking no good pepper tone that's worse than you suck yeah yeah oh yeah not quite as harsh. Yes, it's not quite as harsh, so it lands better. I did a month in Europe, just Dublin, Berlin, and Lisbon. Scotland was the last night. Lisbon.

It was going great. My hour was cooking. I got heckled in Scotland and Glasgow for an hour. I came out and they were like, look at this pussy. Just out of the game. They love doing that. They love it. They're testing you. But I wasn't ready. You know when the opener this pussy. I was just out of the game. They love doing that. They love it. They're testing you.

But I wasn't ready. You know when the opener comes off and he gives you one of these? Oh. And you're like, uh-oh. In Glasgow? Oh, yeah. I mean, they were this close to throwing a bottle on the stage. They liked me.

That was the weird part. And they liked you. Yeah. Do you ever hear the Glasgow kiss? Yes. You know what the Glasgow kiss is? Sloss on with a headbutt. He told us that, yeah. The Glasgow kiss. That's what they Glasgow sloths on with a headbutt he told us that yeah the Glasgow that's what they call it that is hilarious tough town no where else have you gone around the around

the world do you want me to say I've done Dublin yeah great we didn't we do Dublin more yeah we did the Vodafone fest years that's what I what I did. With Colin Quinn. Brent Barry. Yeah, I love that guy. I love those guys, and I forget the other guy. Yeah, we had a great experience. It was like me, Mark, Colin Quinn, Nate Bargatze, Krista Stefano. It was like a great group. Rachel Feinstein.

Rachel, yeah. Oh, shit. That's awesome. Everyone there was like a great hang. It couldn't have been better. That's great. It's a great little town. This is what I love about performing overseas, and especially at a fest.

I love seeing other comedians from around the world. And I find some of the fucking London guys to be incredible. And a couple of Irish guys, Tommy Tiernan. Oh, Phenom. Nobody knows him here. He's incredible. How about Stuart Lee in England? Yeah, he's incredible how about stewart lee oh yeah england yeah he's big yeah great holy shit what a smart comic i know some might say too smart yeah yeah i have his book

you do yeah i didn't read it but i have his wife is fucking brilliant really brilliant all right i'll believe it when i see it yeah we're starting to do it more and more i was i mean i'm supposed to go to like israel in april that ain't no really yeah it was but i mean i was on the so i'm supposed to do a lot of europe in in uh in april so we'll see and i just can't i'm i don't know i two weeks from now i'm doing gaza yeah no I'm telling my manager no he's pushing me it'll still be good we're trying to get you a better deal Gaza strip mall

that'll be tough a strip mall it's just a funny bone but it's right there no women openers you're in the green room you're like can I get a quesadilla quesadilla? Ah, quesadilla! Yeah, so

do you have your dates for February up? No, no, no. What am I doing? Napa Valley, it's great because I'm going to be... And I just came back from Northern California, which was... It's a whole different world up there. It really is, man. you ever play humboldt county

seriously it fits the stereotype everybody is stoned it's the pot center of the fucking world humble you see the documentary murder mountain on netflix watch it okay it's about marijuana growers oh i think i did see this it's amazing or at least some of it yeah yeah oh some of it doesn't sound like you enjoyed it i guess you had to get back to the scorsese there it is i didn't i thought there was something else no i haven't seen this oh it's amazing it's like riveting you like docs yeah right you get hooked into this one i can't wait i'm gonna watch yeah you're gonna fucking love it and it's like four or five parts so you kill like you're good until next wednesday these people up there are so

progressive they're those kind of progressives that they won't take a vaccine because they're like the government made it that's you know they go all the way the other way that's true too but they're also loaded to the teeth with guns. Exactly. So they have this blend. Yes. Yes. This kind of libertarian. Yeah. That guy in the mask.

You're right. What a fucking character. Liberals with guns like Vermont people. Yeah. Is that what it is? It's a mix. Vermont is like that? It's like an alt-right trans.

Good club there. I have fun there. The Vermont Comedy Club. Yeah. Burlington. Burlington. I fucking, for some reason, hate the crowds. I don't do well there. Is that right? Burlington Burlington I fucking For some reason I hate the crowds

I don't do well there Is that right? I just did I know what you're saying I know what you're saying They're like They're like on drugs or something They're like not laughing

I'm like this is Well it's a little PC right? Something I don't even know if it's PC I think they're like Are they dead inside? They might be dead inside Yeah

That may be money Like have you ever performed in aspen no but that used to be where they did the big fest right mm-hmm mm-hmm those people are like to make them laugh is like very difficult so i just go after them that's what they want. I open with, hello, scum. Not kidding. I feel the same about Hawaii. Oh, dude, Hawaii is... I struggle. They tried to route it with Australia to make Australia easier on me,

and I'm like, I don't want to do it. Hawaii is beautiful. I'm sure it's great. That's why they're not fun crowds. That is exactly right. Kyle Kinane and me did a festival there, the Maui Comedy Festival. I did that. You did?

It only lasted a couple of years. Did they put you up in the Hilton, an incredible hotel? And they gave us rental cars. Unbelievable. They blew their whole lot. Green sand beaches. And before this huge disastrous fire. But Maui, Kinane goes to me right before i go up at some venue he goes

i can't wait to see what these people are gonna think of your end of the world shit because it's paradise exactly what do they have to so they don't care about our bed what's up with cereal yeah i live on a mountain you know exactly exactly yes um well we'll see you next week uh yeah and listen to watch eddie all eddie specials all killer listen to his podcast apocalypse now really one of the funniest comics out there if you don't know his stuff i mean big fans over here sorry about that i had thanks you guys some tacos all right i'm mark norman comedy.com uh for dates you know i'm coming right to your town you don't say tour rolling on and shows added so we're coming to florida columbus ohio indianapolis new york

new york at the beacon lexington kentucky, Charlotte, San Antonio, Houston, Boise, Salt Lake, Atlanta, Raleigh, Austin, Tucson, Phoenix, Charlottesville, Charleston, El Paso, Albuquerque, Memphis, Tennessee, Little Rock, Knoxville. Where does this go to from when to when? From now till summer? Damn. Oh, yeah. Now, what do you got there, Sam Bone? I got Vegas, Tampa, Fort Myers, then Buffalo, Springfield, Missouri. I'm back.

I'm getting in shape for the next special in March. So we got Madison, Philly, Miami Beach. It's Dania Beach. You're doing another special in March. Yeah. It won't stop. Dallas, OKC, Irvine, Salt Lake City, and then we're doing the Wilbur. So I think that's almost sold out.

Nice. So I can't wait. We'll see you guys. Wow, four nights at the Wilbur. Two, I think. Oh, two. Two shows a night? We might do three.

We might do three. We'll see. But I can't wait. It's going to be a fun run. Hell yeah. I got to write some new shit. I feel like I got the hour. I got to write some new shit for after. Wow. That's what these clubs are for. I'm like, let me fucking write some new shit. Yeah,. Hell yeah. I got to write some new shit. I feel like I got the hour. I got to write some new shit for after.

Wow. That's what these clubs are for. I'm like, let me fucking write some new shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I can have an act when this is done. Do you write it on your feet, basically? Like kind of in the club? I'm going to try to do it.

Because that's when we're flowing. I don't know what you think, but on stage we're flowing. Whereas when you're in your apartment going, it's tough. The hell is funny. Yeah, radiators know drilling yeah i find that i can write i write in the apartment or the coffee shop whatever and then i tag on the road i feel like that's where i get my because i need the premise before i go bring it on stage nice Nice. Well, guys, drink Bodega Cat Whiskey at bodegacatwhiskey.com. We love you. Eddie Pepitone, check out all his stuff, and we'll see you next week.

Sunday's the day for my next offender A bit of Pivorec, you know the future's close I've had a little too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like a cop's coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans

This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way. We might be true.