We Might Be Drunk - Ep 167: Richard Jefferson & Lagavulin

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

NBA superstar Richard Jefferson joins us this week. Lot's of basketball and sports talk and a lot of respect for comedy. Richard Jefferson: https://www.instagram.com/richardajefferson/?hl=en Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/ Mark Normand: https://marknormandcomedy.com/#schedule!loading Shop: https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod Bodega Cat: http://www.bodegacatspirits.com We Might Be Drunk is produced, recorded and edited by Gotham Production Studios. Head producer: Matthew Peters https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters/   If you want to start a podcast contact [e-mail] for a discount on services when referred by WMBD! Start the Good Habit at https://tryfum.com/DRUNK &; use code DRUNK to save 10% off the Journey Pack today. Support the show and get more joy in the bedroom. Head to https://www.usejoymode.com and use code DRUNK for 20% off and free shipping.

Oh, that's the Offerman. We had Nick Offerman on here and we drank it with him. I'm fucking a huge fan. All right. He's the best. This is you. Where am I sitting? Right there?

All right. Did you see his episode of The Last of Us? No, I did not. Oh, my God, dude. It's unreal. He's fucking great. When he was doing his tour with his wife, my buddy worked for Lack Nation, so they came through. He got me the sign fucking thing that hangs up in my house.

I'm a big fan. Oh, yeah. He's a mensch. He's a good dude. Woodworker, humorist, actor, booze. Yeah, he had a... Awesome wife. Yeah.

Yeah, just like... He's got it all. Megan Mullally. Yeah, he had a... Awesome life. Yeah. Yeah, just like... He's got it all. Yeah, we did a gig with him in Calgary, and he had a 5 a.m. pickup, and he still drank with us. I was like, that's a good dude. Yeah, he's next level. He's cool. All right.

Do we drink on this thing, or what? Yeah. Okay. You're struggling, right? I'm struggling. But I'll have a little, for sure. No, I was on the road in Florida

nothing worse than an urgent care in Dania Beach I mean really just fucking terrible I've never had worse I had an Uber driver

who was like I'm going to urgent care and he keeps taking me the wrong way and I'm just like I'm going to urgent care and then I go he goes

you're going to urgent care are you okay and I was like and I've got chest pains like chest pains that's not good I'm like I know I're going to urgent care. Are you okay? And I was like, I've got chest pains. He's like, chest pains? That's not good. I'm like, I know. Yeah.

I'm going to urgent care. Right, right. I don't know what to do. I mean, we're basically on. We're recording. We're rolling, baby. I think our first athlete guest. Yeah.

Yeah. I did not know that you had that one. I did a podcast with Julian Edelman. He never came on. We've got to get him on at some point. Why are they not on? He's in L.A. I did a podcast with Julian Edelman. He never came on. We got to get him on at some point. But this is... Why are they not on? He's in LA.

I live in LA. Ah, good point. But you're calling a game here, right? Are you calling the Nets tomorrow? Well, I called the Nets yesterday for the Yes Network, and then I'm calling the game tomorrow for ESPN.

With the Phoenix? Yeah, the Phoenix. Kevin Durant's back. I don't want to speak too soon. Okay. Ben Simmons is back. Yeah, he played well last night. He played really well last night.

He balled last night. Yeah. It gets exciting. Are you still kind of a Nets fan? Or do you go Cavs? Or what do you mean? Nah, you know what? Those are my two teams.

I won a championship with one, got drafted by the other, spent a lot of time there. So, yeah, I got some loyalty from two very medium fan bases. I wish it was the Lakers and the Celtics, but, hey, you know, it is what it is. Well, then Knicks would – No, they hate me. Knicks fans hate me. We don't hate you. I'm familiar with Knicks Twitter.

I'm a big Knicks fan, and they don't hate you. They just love Kendrick Perkins right now. Yeah, but that's – And they hate Stephen A. Yes, which is weird. Which is weird. It's not that weird. Yes.

I don't understand, because he's a Nick guy, so he does all this stuff, but he trashes us, and it's like not why. He trashes us for not going all in on for Donovan Mitchell, and then he did the whole narrative. There we go. Come on, man. Yeah, we're really doing it.

We're really doing it here. What about the Nick Offerman blend? i honestly i went to the liquor store right there i don't even know where we are but right there and i was like ah let me grab something i went there i saw it up there and i was like you gotta do it gotta do it you like a peaty scotch yes i do i normally do it in the rocks but you know we got rocks if you want any god these guys have every we're alcoholics why do you think i wanted to come on the podcast yeah now could you booze it up during uh training and all that or is that crazy as you get older it gets harder right when you're 25 we could stay out till 5 a.m and rage and then go score 30

you're doing a great job make sure you use the tongs after his stomach you don't know if it's contagious you don't know what's going on but he. Pylori, but he's already had it. It's fun. That was worse ball handling than Simmons. I love you, Sim. No, you don't. No, you don't. You don't.

Don't lie. I'm getting more into basketball slowly. I'm trying. I'm learning. I'm more of a pickleball man. Are you? Well, you know, it's good. Good on the weekends.

Low impact. That is the best scotch. It is really good. It is really good. Hold on. Good for him. He created a character so great that one of the storied scotch companies was like, hey, let's do your own blend.

Let's do a little something. So true. Sean Gillis just did it with Bud Light. He just got a Bud Light deal. Officially, a friend of ours, Sean Gillis. Dylan Mulshaney. He got so drunk on Joe Rogan enough that they were like, well, fucking, you know. Yeah.

Well, they pivoted. They were a trans guy. Then they went to UFC. No. God. No. Sorry. No, I apologize.

It's going to get worse. You were in the Cavs late in your career. That's where you won the chip. That was an amazing team. You had LeBron, Kevin Love, Kyrie. Iman Shumpert. I love Shumpert. in your career that's where you won the chip that was an amazing team you had you had lebron kevin love kairi amon schumper we had i love jr nick so it's like even again like i i tell people when you look back on it now like the the personalities that were on that team because you know shumps winning you know dancing with the stars jr went back to college and is like now a golfer and doing it was we had such a unique

random group of idiots that that was the only reason that we were too dumb to realize what coming back from three one was going to do. We're like, oh, we're fine. We're gonna do it the hard way. And then we got lucky. And now we're kind of a moralize, immortalize. I'm not even drunk yet. And in the kind of basketball world.

Hell yeah. That was an awesome ring. I was definitely pulling for you guys, just because I wanted to see LeBron get one in Cleveland, obviously. You just wanted it. And, I mean, you broke my heart. I remember you were one of the reasons I quit smoking weed, your Nets team.

Oh, really? Because you swept the Knicks right when we got Mulberry. That felt so good. Remember that? Yeah, that felt so good remember that yeah that felt so good I remember when Kenny Martin like body slammed Tim Thomas I'm like this isn't fucking fair New York Post Fugazi all

this other crazy stuff I look I remember that but yeah that shit was man people that's part of the reason why the Knicks fans hate me is because there was a long stretch of like you were good we dominated them and it was kind of a rival and then i moved on and then um i didn't do that and then uh and then i get i started doing television and i started talking shit uh about the knicks and there's nothing that they can kind

of say back and then they just not about them but now we're fucking we're you guys are really good you're how good is jalen brunson he's special he's special and it's like people oh second round pick it's like dude look yokich no one knew but there's certain things that go on second round pick brock purdy right there's certain guys that you just put them in that fire and they understand in their skill set and they figure it out and brunson he's he's special bro like the knicks this is why the Knicks have a really good chance. He's on a smaller contract. He should be a max contract superstar type of guy.

He will be next time. But you kind of have that window now where you can pay other superstars to come because that's where he's going. We said good chance. You mean to contend for a championship? No, I think this is a window for contending for a championship, right? The window now is slow down it's like no no i've been saying two in the next two years three years brunson's young randall's young you know you're og's young so it's like and and and all players are great

divin brunson's not making a ton of money right now so now you you know now they have more cap stuff and all this other thing that makes it harder so him having a team-friendly contract you guys got a chance he's the best nick point guard in my lifetime maybe since wall frazier which is crazy to say but he's unbelievable well you guys don't have a long history of great point guards it's true really good point guards derrick harper i grew up and i love derrick harperon Maubary had a stretch there. Had a stretch there. But we're talking about really good, elite, winning championship point guards. In my opinion, he's one of them dudes. I'm fucking pumped. We're going to the game next week.

It's Stavros, the guy who's on his shirt right there. Another comedian. Do you know Stavros? I do not. You know what is is funny is like i listen to raw dog comedy so much so there's a lot of comedians i know their stuff but i just don't don't know them by name but yeah i'll check them out he's a great netflix special right now um yeah so are you in the comedy i'm a fucking i'm psychotic i'm a fan about it you know what it is

i feel that comedians are a part of the smartest group of people on the planet like that's me like i'm gonna compliment comedians i'm gonna do this stuff because like look at growing up i grew up with you know richard pryor i grew up with eddie murphy i grew up with bill cosby like one of the kind of golden eras you know snl would had had like iconic cast so i just grew up loving comedy and it got me in trouble a lot in school uh because i really didn't want to do anything but play sports and then fuck around in class so um and then as i got older i just started listening more and just started learning like patrice o'neill mitch headburn yeah all these guys like we got that one stuck that one

stung me a little bit because i had just found him right it was because he was doing the comedy roast and i just kind of found him i was like yo this dude is next level then the more you dig into he's like this dude is fucking amazing and then obviously he passed and it was just like he's one of those dudes that's like if he was still around like where he would be right now i feel like he was right imagine him talking about trump talking about and race and all that. That would be wild. He was, he's special.

And I listen to his comedy specials and stuff. Yeah, I like Cosby's later work. Well, you know what's messed up about that? Is like, my kids, I got two little boys, seven and nine. And like, it's like, okay, what show can we watch that's not fucking cartoon? Yes, I watched the Cosby show. I? Yes, I watched The Cosby Show. I will say, I watched The Cosby Show. Look, there's not a lot of black families, and there are more options now.

Like, we watch Black-ish, you know, Edwards and all those guys. But it's like, I don't know. R. Anderson, excuse me. I was thinking Anthony Edwards. No, you watch this, and it's's like eventually i'll explain to them right what this man did but right now like we'll listen to like the old uh bill cosby stuff on the way to school and stuff like that yeah i want to teach my kids proper sarcasm because i think it is a great tool for being able to deal with life because you can't always say the shit that you

want you can't always do but sarcasm that is a great tool that's why you're good on tv man because you're you have good word economy i don't mean to hate on stephen a smith but it's like five minutes straight and it's like he said nothing and then like they've got guys like you and reddick who are like really good and i love kendrick right now because he's on a big knicks kick yeah but uh i feel like espn dipped a little bit for a while and you're you one of the guys, I think, keeping it up a little bit right now. Well, I thank you for that. I appreciate it. But understand, like, the ESPN we grew up with, where it was Dan Patrick and it was all of that crew.

Rich Eisen. Rich Eisen. They're hilarious. People don't understand. These guys are comedians that are talking about sports, that know sports really, really well. That's why you could sit and watch the same sports center and hear the jokes and hear the bits because they're coming up with this they're the ones writing all of the you know bartender jack and it's just like dude crushes a home run it's like that's the shit that you grow up you're like it must be a homer because the picture just said

dope dope like don't but they would just you would hear one-liners from these dudes and it was like they were trying to kind of one-up each other, right? And they were doing so much stuff. So that's the shit I grew up on, like watching SportsCenter and seeing guys laugh and have fun about it. The debate shit is cool. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind a debate. But anybody that's like, oh, it's like if you really are an OG ESPN watcher and you watched it growing up, ESPN News, those dudes were cracking jokes.

And then they got so big that it kind of got and now all of the rich eisen has his own thing dan patrick has his own thing but these guys are just they're hilarious but my issue with the with the like first take type setup as opposed to like you know nba countdown or like even you know inside the nba it's like kind of just dudes hanging out that's why i love inside the nba whereas it turned into like iso ball yeah it turned into like iso ball yeah it turned into like guys just trying to get theirs instead of being like a team and like inside the nba it feels like a team you know and they mess with each other a lot more so like i i don't know

it's one of those things that is part of like it's also part of the ratings so it's like they they go where the audience tells them like first take is the highest rated show now they have to get you have to go over similar topics. So doing the show can be tough, but you get different voices on. And now that you see, like once they moved on from Kellerman, they, they started, okay, we're going to have a Dan Orlovsky. We're going to have Ryan Clark. We're going to have, you know, Swagoo. We're going to have a bunch of different guys. So you get different voices.

It's hard to do that stuff now with just two voices, right it used to be skip and and and shannon or skip and steven a that shit's hard to do because it's like how many times can you talk about lebron versus jordan how can we how many times can we talk about that's why we have guests on our pod now because it turns into like how many how many drunk stories can we tell before we need you know another person exactly a lot well how many and you've also heard each other everyone's right my buddy i i do a podcast road tripping shout out with channing fry x nick yeah we've had some battles with that one but it's like he like we were sitting there and it was like he was like oh richard you've told this story i'm like yeah channing we've known each other since we were 14

we know all every girl i've made out with you know every bar we've ever been to like you know everything this shit ain't for you bro i said that to my girlfriend once like you're the only person i hang out with there's gonna be reruns yeah i'm not gonna write a new act every you know no and this is for the audience the audience needs to hear this does your girl get mad like when you tell her no no i'm saying when you tell her a same story she's like you already told me like where you my girl get mad she'll be like oh you already told me a story you must have been thinking about somebody's like no i just don't have any i don't have shit else to say i don't know what else to say it's like hey do you remember that so-and-so person and that yeah yeah we just talked about

this a week ago and it's like oh my bad my bad yeah your girl's like you told me about that girl you made out with already yeah did you guys ever go hard at like a night out like that calves team did you ever get drunk i can't picture lebrron being like we're going to wouldn't get fucked up tonight I'm gonna get drunk if you live in Cleveland. What else is there to do? That's a fake breath I was notice I was like is this a paperweight? Sorry, sorry. Well, I didn't know and then it was like, okay. Okay back to what you're saying We have the other one over there if you want to even have more of a one-boob kind of saying um we have the other one over there if you want to even i'm more of a one boob kind of guy kind of a uniboob yes you know you have to like that's part you're playing basketball from you

know september october all the way to may june and you got to i will say i will say this like we every athlete can say one of his one of his crazier nights are after he had a bender. We we landed in I must have been like twenty six, twenty seven years old and we landed in Toronto. We had a game used to play early games. So we had a game probably like two o'clock. And my boy was like, hey, let's, you know, let's go, let's go out to Vince's club. Vince had a club in Toronto. I think it was called inside. So Vince was on the nets. Vince was, I don't think he was on the nets. He was on, he was on the Raptors at the time, but they were whatever, just okay. So we go there and we go,

we go to the club and we're like, okay, we're just going to have a couple of drinks. We're just going to hang out. It's no big deal. and so we're sitting there at the bar kind of talking and this one girl walks by and it said like crazy she had a shirt on and said crazy bitch and i was like well okay a little redundant thank you and i see i see another girl walk by now again i'm not calling these women bitches these are the shirts that they had on it was like uh it was like wild bitch and i was like what the fuck and i was like so i see like next one says bipolar yeah yeah it's like just that's all i said so they all start walking by and i was like okay something's going on so i asked when i was able to use this is like a bridal party what's good she's like oh no it's uh we're the toronto raptor dance team this is this is like our christmas party uh

bartender can i get 25 shots immediately and that's the way it went so it was like me and my boy we're just we're shots round we're just and they know like they're typically you didn't know who you were kind of they don't pay attention that much they know the home team guys for the most part but it's like they knew they knew that I played and I was playing against them the next day. But we're like, now we're turning it on. Right. Like we're getting drunk,

doing all the things. I'm like, let's like, how often are you going to be like one of the few guys in the Toronto Raptor dance team is all here to get drunk. So we got them extremely drunk. I go to bed. I probably go to bed at like 6. Am right go to bed at 6 a.m

did you take one of them back no no no i didn't take any of them back i might have gotten a phone number or two but it was like we all had there was we were all going to be struggling the next day collectively when i tell you the next day i have one of my greatest games i have like 20 points in the first half and i'm telling, the game was an early tip. It wasn't like a regular 7.30, you can go get some rest. It was like I had like 20 points in the first half, and I'm coming out and end up with like 39 that game. But I remember looking over at their whole dance team,

and they're like all in a row. They were all beautiful women, but they looked haggard. They looked exhausted. And when I say this, it's like all in a row they were all beautiful women but they looked haggard they looked exhausted and when i say this is like all beautiful women but it's like we all have our moments where you're like oh you got a long one last night the whole row of them they must have thought you were a superhero well that's the funny thing is like so the one girl who i whose number i did get i like i texted her after the game and she was like, all the girls were like, he was drinking with us, right? He was actually drinking alcohol. And I was like, yeah, I'm going to have to sleep for two days.

I was on pure adrenaline. I don't know how that happened, but that is like. Do your teammates know when you're that hungover? Yeah. Oh. Are they annoyed with you? The NBA, we are all crazy. We're all psychotic, right?

The only way to be one of the 450 players in the world and stay that you are physically gifted rodman seems normal you're physically gifted he was very physically gifted and you're also a little psychotic so it's like you have those moments where you're just like ah fuck it you know just go out there get it done but yeah your teammates know there's guys that reek like alcohol there's guys that are you know throwing up at halftime like it is the league has changed but it used to be even more crazier what's the move do you pedialyte the iv like how do you get over it you stay young yeah because once you hit 30 like you don't do that shit like if you hit 30 you're gonna be you're

gonna be struggling for the next like week but when you're 25 years old you can literally stab yourself and like be fine five minutes later right at 25 like come on true boy we gotta go out and get shirts i want girthy douche you know yeah but it was like i honestly it was that that's one of my favorite that i can tell people stories from that's great i'm sure there's a lot you can't there's a lot of stories were there calves nights though where like you're like you ever see like uh i don't know like jr seems like he would have the our favorite story about jr is nicks fans is he dm a girl dm'd him for tickets and he just he just writes back are you trying to get the pipe and that got screenshot and it was like a big thing and that's where like people would go to games in those

shirts yeah like a t-shirt you're trying to get the pipe with you kind of awesome i love jr he was he was a fan favorite in new york so i was happy when he won one with the jr is amazing he's one of like the most talented sweetheart dudes that you could ever ever ever meet but he's one of those dudes that just was so physically gifted that like he was also he was almost doing crazy shit just to give us a chance right like jr again i'll never call out my guy but some of some of the shit i'll tell you a story so the scotch is kicking in braun braun is he's on a level that like most humans can't achieve we're not talking about just basketball we We're not talking about physically. Like there's like a combination of like five things that he's just whatever on.

But he could go out all night long. They're not like drinking crazy, but just like drinking wine. We're hanging out watching games. We'll go back, drink wine, play more car. We'll be up till three in the morning, right? Some of us have a level of responsibility. Some of us, you know, we navigate this.

So the next morning we're like we'll get up we'll go work out do something chill then we'll get on our bus for shoot around and i'm telling you it'll like braun would be right next jr would be right next to braun till the end of the night braun at like 10 o'clock we're all on the bus i am telling you at the minute it goes 1001 we're like yo where's jr somebody called jr and bronze in the back of the bus let's go let he like and i don't mean it in like a in a harsh sense but like hey if he got to learn a lesson or anybody got to learn the lesson we can stay up and drink wine and we can hang out but when that bus says 10 o'clock the bus is not like

somebody gotta go up and knock on the door somebody gotta go do any of that it's like no we gotta go he can come out you can come out rich everybody can we can all drink wine we can hang out but when it's time to fucking go it's time to go we not looking for people men get left behind on this shit and like that's something that like you respected amy schumer did that to me once on the road i got left at a college and i was like where is every i was drinking in the green room it was my fault yeah and he said hey listen bro when it's time to go it's time to go and like damn it's a it's a it's a good leadership space from like it lets everybody know like this this is like 10 if the leader's on that shit everyone's got to be everybody's on that shit right like oh these motherfuckers leave me i gotta

i gotta set my alarm hey hey hey channing fried like knock on my door somebody everybody make sure i'm good but like he like braun is let's go so like jr there be time we're looking at probably like bro you you have to reason he's sitting next to you drinking wine he's braun's like let's he on at the front of the bus, let's go. It's so funny because usually let's go is good. It's like, let's go. We're all sitting here like, fuck. Because in that point, it's like, JR, I've missed buses before. This is just one of the examples. Everybody's missed buses and shit before.

But it's just like, it's one of those ones. That walk into shoot around, that's a lonely walk. Everybody's there. There's no excuse. Back in the day before, again, i came in oh once there wasn't cell phones and shit so it was like when i first came in it was like you had to get a wake-up call oh the wake-up call didn't come or some bullshit now you got cell phones you got everything there is no excuse for alarms like you get a text what time the bus is what time shoot around is and was like, you slept through all that shit. God, imagine LeBron on Rosa Parks bus. Let's go.

I don't care. Sit in the back. We won the Warriors before the Cavs, right? So you play with Steph. You play with LeBron. You play with Jason Kidd. Yeah, yeah, man. And what's crazy is that you have stories with all your teammates,

but those are the only stories that people want to hear, like Steph and those guys. But they are – Steph, Tim Duncan, Dirk. You play with Duncan, too. Yeah, I play with Duncan. He doesn't want to remember that. It was a terrible – I just want – let me go on record here. I think being a comedian, there's a level of asshole in you because you're always seeing it from that angle. He's one of the biggest assholes

in the funniest, in the funniest, in the funniest way. Like, I'll just be doing a game. I haven't talked to him on the phone in seven years. I'll just be doing a game. He hasn't texted me in six months

and he'll just say some disrespectful shit to me in the middle of a game. Right? And then that's just it. Then I'll respond back just it then i'll respond back to him i'll respond back to him he won't respond he won't respond he won't he doesn't he doesn't like me he's just but it's like he's one of those guys like if you want to talk to him about basketball he's kind of like yokich he like he doesn't give a shit but you want to talk to him about cars you want he owns it really weird he owns a a car uh a car company or uh uh garage some shit like uh 21 motoring or i don't know anyways he owns some he loves cars he loves comic books he loves video game you talk to that shit about him he'll talk all so funny that he won't tim duncan's

like i'll talk mario kart i won't talk uh he was like hey rich you want to come up to my room i think he had just gotten like the new mortal kombat or some shit so i'm like i'm like i'm down right so i go up to his room right and so we're playing this fucker you know how like you can get those like the books that have like all the moves and shit oh yeah he's like in the book like this and i'm like really that's what you do i was like bro isn't this like a hey i remember this move from luke hang like i'm gonna i'm gonna work on this okay i remember this one okay let me try he's like he just opened the shit and was like such a nerd such a fucking nerd but he's and then he whooped my ass about like 200 times he's like all right you can go he's the big fundamental

yeah he's a legend yeah stupid question do you play basketball video games or is that too much basketball um like i played nba jam for nine million hours but that's that's an outstanding game like 2k is advanced um due to my contract with uh nba 2k i love nba 2k i love calling it is the best game i love recording for 2k i love everything that I do as a broadcaster on 2K. I just want to say it is the greatest game I have ever played. You played on Team USA, by the way. Yeah, we don't talk about that. That was a bad year.

That was a bad year. You were only good shooter that year. And I'm a terrible shooter. And look, look, it was a very interesting year. Was that the year we lost to Costa Rica? No. No. Puerto Rico.

Joe. Yes. Ouch. It's not that much better. Puerto Rico. We're not going to disrespect the Puerto Rico basketball. Was it Carlos Arroyo? Yeah, Carlos Arroyo whooped our ass.

He was on fire. But look, we had a shit team. And that's including myself, right? Come on. What? You had Duncan. Yes. you know what duncan's final words were in his press interview like hey what do you think about fiba basketball

he's like fiba sucks and like walked off like that was the end but it was like this what we were a poorly put together team right not enough shooting not enough shooting the real story behind it is this because we got time you think team usa would have good shooting yeah not that type of shooting but yes i get your point yeah um yeah you would think you better have that loaded yeah yeah oh look at that no we had talent on the team but this is what happened we had a team that had to qualify for the olympics so they put together the entire roster it's it's ray allen it's it's it's tracy mcgrady jason kidd mike bibby uh um carl malone kobe was supposed to be on it he had pride like he had stuff he had to deal with but it was like a bunch of shit like they had this loaded roster and i was supposed to be the young guy on the roster right not playing just kind of learning

none of them really wanted to play for Larry Brown. So we qualified for the Olympics. We beat Argentina by 40 in the qualifier. Kill them. The Olympics are the next summer. Nine of the guys say no. Three guys stay on. Allen Iverson, because he had never been on the Olympics.

Me, just because I'm a young idiot, so if they tell me that I got an opportunity, I'll do it. And Tim Duncan, because in the prior Olympics, he he had knee surgery so he hadn't played in the Olympics yet those are the only three guys that stayed on the roster we have nine new guys and so many guys say no everybody says no Chauncey Billups Rip Hamilton all these guys say no to going to the Olympics so they field the youngest team ever Carmeloelo myself lebron d wade amari all of these dudes are future superstars but in that but in that moment they're still very young basketball i'm meeting all of these guys for the first time three weeks before we go to olympics

it's like hey d wade nice to meet you never never met him hey carmelo nice to meet you like all of this stuff so we had none of that and then we go out there and we got fucking clapped. Damn. And then they were looking at us like, you guys don't care. You guys. I'm like, no, man, we're playing against Argentina that has six pros and they've been together for nine years. Right. And we are out here meeting each other three weeks.

So it was the arrogance of the U.S. and USA basketball that led to them changing everything. And that was the quote-unquote redeemed team and those guys practiced for a couple of weeks they met every summer they had kobe came on that team so it was like they changed the format because they had fucked it up and then we were unfortunately the group that got blamed can i ask what is it about larry brown that didn't inspire these players to want to play no you just you just asked the Knick fans. Ask all the Knick fans. You ain't got to ask me. He won a ring, though, with Detroit.

No, I'm not. Larry Brown won a national championship. No one's questioning about Larry Brown coaching, but sometimes it's your motives in those moments. That was like a big time of like the and one basketball, and like basketball was kind of going through a shift of what people were kind of watching and enjoying. So it was like larry

brown's like i hate all that and one like we're gonna play the right way and we're gonna do this and like like he's like jason kidd he's telling jason kidd jason i really like it when you penetrate but on the fast break i want you to get to the free throw line hop step and then throw it and it's like this is fucking jason kidd he just led the league in assists the last two years like he knows how to run a fast break and larry brown knows how to do that but then fast forward stefan mobberry and larry brown we saw how well that went right that was just an extension of what was going on in the olympics as soon as he got the job because i feel like steph was already there then larry brown got the job i was like oh there's no chance of this working out no damn and not because steph isn't a good player

and not because larry brown can't coach but it was just those those the energies didn't match and the usa never loses right i mean who's better than you we lost this year ah yeah but we did we put out one of the teams that we put out in 04 that was the team because it was the world championships but now everyone now it's gonna be like the avengers oh that's just that team and it's still gonna be work to do it's you're still gonna have to to play against spain you're going to have to play against france that has rudy gobert and women yama and all these guys like you're they're gonna be tough yeah you're gonna most of the time steph and lebron are gonna play and yeah it'll be cool it's gonna be fucking durant maybe and it's in it's in tokyo right is it in tokyo i don't know look it up baby

what you had i mean one thing i liked about you is you always had to guard the best offensive player for the most part because you were a good defensive player. Paris. Paris, not Tokyo. Were there ever nights where you're like, fuck, I'm guarding Kobe. Like, does he talk shit to you while you're guarding him? Like, what's that like? Nah, you know what it is? I don't speak unless spoken to.

Like, I talk more shit to my boys, my teammates. Like, that's the shit. Like, dude, Mr. Frito's like, like bro stop point shaving and fucking let's go right like that's the type of shit i say to my teammates right but i don't talk shit to the other team that's just not my my nature i'm i'm i won't say i'm quiet by any means but i'm just i just want to play kobe and those dudes the the thing about it is that players that are at that level you don't fear anybody you're not afraid of anybody and it's like i was a good defender but i've also played on good defensive teams so you knew you had

help behind you you knew guys were going to be where you needed to be and like this professional sports motherfucker might score 40 if tom brady scores four touchdowns doesn't mean your team sucks it just means that night he was fucking tom brady good point that's who he is you know so but were there nights for your garden guarding him where you're like, there's not much I can do? Oh, LeBron put a double nickel on me, put 55 up on me. And it was like our coach didn't want – he was like Scott Skiles at the time. He was like, listen, whenever the Cavs play well,

it's because Mo Williams goes off for 20 plus, which was true. They're like, LeBron's going to get what LeBron gets. And he's like, we're just going to focus on shutting down. If lebron scores 35 like and richard your own solo i'm like okay cool bron scored like 15 points in like a minute and a half because he just it was one of those days where like he just decided to hit like five threes in the first quarter so he's pulling up from like he went you guys have pulled the tape he he went he went he went completely off really find this and like he had like he had like 30 points in the first half or some some crazy shit and the coach was like we're doing a good job on mo williams i'm like yeah because i'm out here on a fucking island

he's like mo williams only has six points and i'm like this motherfucker's got 30 like what are we talking about did you like playing for scott skiles you know i did i wasn't you know because i heard he gets kind of a bad rap no scott scott is an intense dude i like i don't know if this generation can handle scott skiles you know uh you know he's just a very very intense guy because he's a guy that made it he's a guy that made it because of how hard he worked right so he oftentimes demands that of people and like and that's a great quality in a coach the great thing about nba is that one there's a game the next night but like when you play against dudes like that it's like man you tip your hat you know and you keep it pushing and

you'll have one of those nights you know yeah it comes around not now yeah i'll have a night where i'm out drunk with the cheerleaders and i go go for 40 right and there was a party that's like this is what i need maybe maybe this is the secret to being good at basketball. I just get fucked up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You learned that in college. You learned that in college. You went to Arizona, right?

Yeah, see, Arizona. With Arenas on the team? Arenas and Luke Walton. Are you cool with Arenas? What do you mean by cool? What do you mean by cool? Are you guys on good terms? No, me and Gilbert are never on good terms under any circumstance.

I love Gilbert. I wish him well, but I know that he won't do well because it's him. It's like, dude, I wish you the best. No, I'm joking. Gil's my guy, but we grew up together again. You start playing basketball against each other at 15, 16. You had other studs on that team, right? Yeah, man.

I played with Jason Terry my freshman year. Oh, my God. Michael Wright. God rest his soul. Lauren Woods. Jason Gardner. Jesus. Luke Walton.

We lost in the national championship. To Batty Aiden, dude. Yeah, we don't discuss that shit. We don't discuss that shit. Yeah, we keep that. Stupid question. Most likely. You're the first athlete, first athlete of professionalism I've ever spoken to,

except... Really? I sold Michael Vick a dog. But I... Wait, wait, wait. Really quickly, really quickly. Was this pre or post? Because now he's not allowed to own.

So you've got to be careful. You could be implicated. Is he not allowed to own dogs? I think that was part of his parole. What if it's like a chihuahua? You're not going to dog fight a chihuahua. What? I guess you could.

Well, you know, they are sort of the ones that... Never mind. Look, I don't know anything about nothing. Yeah, yeah. Same. Continue. So it's just a goof. Legally, we're going to dissect that one.

Illegally, she's saying. But, you know, we're comics. We go on the road. We've done Netflix, all the Tonight Show, whatever. I can't sleep the night before a big thing. You have to have sleep just in order to play and all that. What do you do? How do you get in the head, the mindset?

We take a lot of naps. Athletes, the pregame nap, that shit starts when you're 15, 16 in high school. Really? You go to high school. If you've got a varsity game, you go home. I had to catch a city bus. But like you catch a city bus home, take a nap, right? Eat a little something, take a nap.

Because you have to have your highest level of energy at 7 o'clock at night. Right. Like your energy, you know, as a comedian too, like you guys are going on stage at 10 o'clock. We're nighttime coffee. Yeah, you're like I got to be amped up late at night. Like that's when i'm performing so like you start doing it in high school like taking naps before before games waking up going then going there getting there middle of the jv game and then getting ready for

your shit and that just kind of stands true most basketball games are at 7 30 at night so we'd finish school in college go back take your nap wake up get there at like five o'clock start when you become a professional that's all you have to do. So we have shoot around at like 10 a.m., which is like basically you fuckers aren't going to lay in bed all damn day and drink all night and then sleep all day. So they do like a shoot around. It's like a light practice walk through at 10 a.m. Bus leaves at 930. And trust me, bus leaves at 930 if you're with Braun.

Let's go. So you do that. you have come back have a team meal you know eat whatever they have it in the hotel is there a hierarchy at the tables when you do a team meal uh there's routines i wouldn't say a hierarchy you know there's european guys there's guys that hang out like but we typically do a team meal where it's like all of the staff so it's coaches it's this sometimes you'll do the team meal like if's like all of the staff. So it's coaches. It's this. Sometimes you'll do the team meal. Like if you have a back to back, you won't go do a shoot around where it's like you get out of bed. The back to back, you'll just have a team meeting in like at like 11 o'clock and you'll eat your meal while the coach goes over the game plan.

Then you go back to your room, you take a nap and you fucking do it again. Damn. Yeah. So napping. My wife found it strange when i was still taking naps like after i retired i'm like this is just ingrained in this point in time like i need to take a nap every single day in my life right yeah i'm i'm with you because you know my wife's like you sleep in all the time like i go to work at 11 yeah you know i'm working at 10 then i'm out

till 2 whoring like sometimes still working i have a question about that because I just read a Manuel Quixley thing about leaving the Knicks. I love Quixley. He said that he woke up from a nap to find out he's traded. I mean, you were traded a bunch of times. How do you find out and what does it feel like?

I was lucky. I didn't have kids until the very end of my career and so it's harder when you have kids right and you have if you have a first and a third grader and then families have to make a decision do we want to create stability for the kid or for the family do we have to leave like i think it was like chris paul hadn't been like hadn't lived with his family for like a couple years because he was bouncing around teams and that's the part that gets hard i was lucky that that wasn't my situation but oh i've woken up from naps to i've woken up from naps to like like i forgot it was like during the summer a bunch of my boys were at the house so i was like hey i'm about to take a nap if we're gonna go out tonight whatever i wake up from the

nap to find out i got traded to utah like those are the things that and my boys are like yo yo you just got traded and it's like and it wasn't like i wasn't playing much i was kind of hurting at the end of my career in golden state so they wake me up and get a trade and i was like all right let me get dressed where are we going like it's like it's just it's just a part of like you're not like scrambling like they have a million systems you're making plenty of money it's just like okay well where do i were you were you on the block or anything or were you just like was out of nowhere? You're always on the block. Yeah.

You're always on the block to a certain degree. Like when I got traded from the Nets, I played for them for six years. I had my career high in scoring. And they just decided that they were like. For like nothing, right? Yeah. For Yi Zhaoing and Bobby Simmons. And I just averaged like 23 points a game.

They messed that one up. I think history has shown that one. But that's you know that's just part of why why would what were they thinking they weren't that's why they all got fired shortly thereafter they all got fired shortly thereafter so and then the net started off 0 and 18 like two seasons later and it's like yeah you there you go idiots but don't you have to you get to meet the new players that's a lot of work yeah it is you have to meet the new guys but some of the guys you get to know it's harder getting traded in season like around the trade deadline um if you get traded during the summer you typically have you have a whole training camp right you get to meet the staff you might like i when i signed with cleveland they we did like a mini

camp in miami mini camp and so we did like a mini camp like about a month before training camp where we all went we worked out we ate dinner we go out just kind of like a team the whole team the whole team are as many guys can show up and it's like you know let's say 10 of the the 15 guys show up the guys that are like have roster spots and stuff so everyone gets hotels we work out it's just more of like a camaraderie thing like hey you got some new guys coming in you're not going over plays there's not like coaches and shit there they'll have trainers there for tape and ice and all that shit but that now every team almost does that they do like uh it's not like an nba mini camp it's more of like a team we're gonna get the guys together and do some of that stuff because you get guys that show up like dame like dame lillard you know like this

dude shows up right before training camp doesn't have an opportunity to do all the things that you need to to build into the season. Damn, that would be hard for me. And then you've got to live in a shit city sometimes. What do you mean by build a shit city? Because you've got to understand, the minute I start talking about shit cities, I have millions of people that lean in like,

if you dare say more. I don't say shit cities, but there are cities I go to. I mean, we're on the road every week, and I'll be like, this is a cool city. I wouldn't want to live here. That's i feel most places yeah there's a lot but when they're paying you millions of dollars that's where it's like ah this is all right right you know look cost of living is low in utah cost of living is low and i like salt lake city i think it's a nice city salt lake city's a great time milwaukee look i like milwaukee i'm not saying

i'm not saying milwaukee's a bad city what I'm saying there is that if you are a kid from California that went to college in Arizona, it's really fucking cold there. And it is a different type. Milwaukee, Minnesota, these are different types of cold. Doesn't mean it's a bad city, but if your team sucks, you get there in like September, October, and you're done in April. That means you might only see the shittiest part of milwaukee if you play till like in cleveland we play till june we were there till damn near july the weather is fucking amazing in june july everybody's out everybody's partying you're like cleveland's not bad if you're just there for the nine months of fucking winter good point that

shit's depressing it's a good way to put it yeah we, we're in and out. That's true. What is your favorite city to go to? Well, there's great comedy towns. Like for some reason, Denver, Phoenix, San Francisco. Madison's a great comedy town for some reason. Austin. Mark always says a blue city and a red state is a good comedy town because you get a little bit of everything. Oh, I didn't think about that. Like Lexington, Kentucky just happens to be a great comedy town.

What about like a red city and a blue state like Newport, California? I didn't think about that. Lexington, Kentucky just happens to be a great comedy town. What about a red city and a blue state like Newport, California? I'm doing Irvine. Irvine is good. Irvine is good. Yeah, Irvine is good. But again, you're so close to L.A. that you get a little of L.A. in there. As long as you've got a mix. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

That's good. I think that's good because it's you know smart people mixed with you know yeah really really some rabble rouses yeah yeah that's what you want you want the mix like i like philly boston you know it's got smart people it's got blue collar one of my favorite cities for comedy well yeah yeah i could see that dc is great obviously boston's an interesting place see i'd be wondering if you were to it's funny though because there is there there are certain gaps if you were to ask like a black comedian what his favorite cities were probably not probably not boston michael che i think was trashing boston for a while right yeah he's from boston yeah even again so he could say shit to

boston people and get away with shit and like speak their language that he would probably fucking love it don't doubt it but basketball is the same way where it's like if you are a boston celtic it's you know they treat you nice if you're a boston celtic they're there if you're not a boston celtic the celtic fans and they are amazing they are some of the most intense and aggressive fans i was out we played them in the eastern conference finals but i was young so like all who's on that team was Pierce Ray Allen yeah no it wasn't Ray Allen yet it was Pierce Antoine Walker it was that group so my boys were going to Assumption College in Worcester what was I Worcester Worcester they were that's where they were that's how I used to pronounce it too Worcester Worcester

so my boy I had some of my boys I went to high school so like literally after the game they would come and pick me up from the arena I would just walk out I'm 21 years old so I'm like where's the dive bar where's the where's the frat house like that's that's the shit I want to do so we're going out and it's just chaos in the streets it's fun we're having a good time and just I'd never forget like it was getting late and some dudes were trying to like start some shit. And the fucking cop comes over and yells at me. He sees these dudes like I'm like, bro, I don't want no smoke. And the guy was like, get out of here. You're a fucking target.

Just get the fuck out of here. You're a fucking target. You're a fucking target. You're causing this fucking problem. I'm like, sir, I'm not. They hate me because I'm on the other. I'm not doing anything. He's like, get the fuck out of here.

And I'm like, why is the cop yelling at me right now and i was like i'm in boston i should just go don't ask questions just go does boston have a bad rep amongst players like that i guess you said it like that it's cool to play for the celtics their fan base is crazy but it's probably not a free agent hotspot for a black player right yeah no it is a free agent hotspot because it's the fucking celtics so like you get an opportunity to play now i won't give all of their fans a mad name just it's just like raiders fans not all raiders fans are crazy most but i'm saying it's like you just get you look at the spaces like we have security we were playing there again this is before i was playing there in the early 2000s so this is before the camera phones where everything is being recorded by everybody

and it was like we were sitting on the bench and the motherfuckers were throwing pennies at us and shit but you're throwing pennies from 30 rows and then like these motherfuckers are throwing pennies at us and we look back at our security and he was like he was like we're like yo man they're throwing pennies at us he's like fucking duck i don't know what to tell you it's like what are we gonna do stop this game what are we gonna do are they gonna find no like celtics fans are gonna rat out who's throwing pennies at the back of our heads and wow yeah are you getting that as a jew i'm picking them up but uh no but my roommate in college was a six nine just big farm white boy from tennessee and everywhere we went people were starting shit with him just because they're like this guy's six nine

i'm threatened i'm intimidated fuck him were people starting shit with you no i was a little twink you know i mean you know i was just a girthy douche trying to make it in america we're gonna get you that shirt i will get you please please what is this girthy twink girthy twink oh it's a little curveball douche yeah twink douche yeah so yeah but yeah he got fucked with all the time just just because he was tall were there cities where you're like i'm gonna just i'm gonna get we're going to miami we're gonna party the night before if there's a hot city well so i lived in new york for i live when you play for the nets you live yeah so yeah i live in new york i live in tribeca hey nice yeah they were paying me way too much money i couldn't live in jersey York. I live in Tribeca. Hey, nice. Yeah, they were paying me way too much money. I couldn't live in Jersey.

I was like, and I love Jersey, but it was like you'd have to go to like Upper Saddle River. You'd have to go like deep in Jersey. You don't have to explain it. I was like, that's the wrong way from the city. Okay, I just got to make sure I'm loyal to my people. Yeah, there's some great fucking cities like Toronto. Love Toronto. Toronto is one of the best cities in the freaking world.

Yeah. The food, the people, the energy, the fans. The fans are just happy. They're just happy to see your performance. They support their team. But it's not like vile hatred coming. But they're standing up the whole time. They're excited.

They're that. Toronto is one of the top five cities. But it's all personal preference. I like Miami. I like Chicago. Yeah, what are your top cities? For me, I think Phoenix. I love Phoenix. Because I'm from there. Phoenix that's why that's a little hot a little hot but

we're playing there in the winter so you land and you come from jersey you land in phoenix in december and it's 80 degrees right okay this i'm always pumped to go to phoenix yeah phoenix i'm saying chicago i love chicago great city for my last special there so would he something about chicago people the people just you know they want to drink a lot. They want to eat heavy food. That's all they want to do, right? But I would say Miami, Chicago, Toronto, New York, and L.A. Those are the cities for me that I would be like. Are you based in L.A. now?

I'm based in L.A. currently. Currently. Do you think you would move back here if a job switched it up? Yeah. When's this air? Two weeks. Yeah, there's a high probability that I could be doing some things here. Ooh, baby.

There's some things that I could be doing here in New York. You thought Boston was scary. Watch out for the Knicks fans out here. Yeah. I'm trying to convince. You're not in as bad favor with Knicks fans as you think. I'm tuned into Knicks Twitter because I. I've been nice to them because, like like my first couple years when i first started i tried to go like you know steven

a cowboys against them right where it's just like fuck the nicks like you know whatever i remember yeah i was cracking jokes talking about they offered me a contract and i said no to them just because i and it was like they came out with a press release and i was like guys this is just a joke and then i realized how when you're a player, you ignore all fans. You ignore all media. Like that's just part of our gig. Like we don't give a shit what you guys think and any of that stuff. But when you get to a space of like you're now representing like a media company and now you start saying shit.

Yeah. So I got I got to talk to him, too. I got I got a little chew. Not chew down the bad way, but just like Richard, you can't be shitting on the Knicks and then have to call a playoff game for them. And I'm like, yeah, that might affect ratings. That's true. You know, so it's like.

And once you get to know us, we are the best fan base because. No, you're not. We haven't won in 50 years and we're still as hardcore as any fucking group. You're as hardcore via, like you're fueled like the dark side, like via hate. No, that's not true. That is 100% true. as any fucking group. You're as hardcore via, like you're fueled like the dark side, like via hate, right? No, that's not true. That is 100% true. That's what you're hearing because you were fueled by hate

when you were doing this. We're not fueled by hate. Let me introduce Exhibit A. Exhibit A. As an organization, as like the players, I don't hate the Knicks. Their fan base is rude.

I'm a Knicks fan. Am I rude? Yes. Yes. We can do a podcast that says, I might be drunk. But we're good drunks. You're great drunks. So we're not rude.

Yes, but put you in the stands right now. What would be happening? I was at a game a couple weeks ago, and I was screaming at Tony Brothers. He made a bad call. And you hit that woman. But that's fair, that you're just a part of the NBA community if you're yelling at Tony I'm not saying anything. No, I'm a good fan, I think.

I heard him shouting the N-word. He looked familiar. He looked familiar. You were just wearing a hood. Hold on, one sec. There we go! There we go. He's wearing that shirt, too. It was Knicks-Rockets, and

we torched them. It was a great game. Look, the Knicks are good. So this is the thing that I think Knicks fans have. They're like, we know we suck. We don't need constant news coverage telling us we suck. And I like to give them constant news coverage telling them. But when they got good, I was – look, I'm not a Knick hater. When you're good, we have to talk about you.

We have to talk about the Lakers, the Knicks, the Celtics. we have to talk about you we have to talk about the lakers the knicks the celtic we have to talk about them they are if you talk about the top six teams that have in the top 10 players right the top six teams and top 10 players are 80 of the nba fan base that might sound weird but if you are uh if you are the charlotte hornets and you don't have a star, your fan base is really, really small. That makes sense. Kevin Durant has a big fan base. Phoenix Suns has a good fan base. So we're going to talk about them, and that's what our ratings, and that's how this shit is done on television.

They're like, oh, you always talk about the same teams. Well, is your team classic? Do you guys have a chance to win a championship? Do you have a superstar? If you don't, what are we fucking talking about? Is your team classic? Do you guys have a chance to win a championship? Do you have a superstar? If you don't, what are we fucking talking about? Is Jalen Brunson a superstar? We'll find out.

Oh, baby. I'm saying yes. I think he's got the goods, man. I think he's the best little guy since Iverson. He's in the conversation. This is when I say we'll find out. There are six guys currently, right? When all that 1A, 1B stuff, I get it why people try and classify just to give context a lot of times. My thing is this.

There are six guys that have led a team to an NBA championship. Giannis, Jokic, LeBron, KD, Steph, Kawhi. So in the last 20 years. Yeah, but I'm saying currently playing currently playing in the nba so how about isaiah thomas so he was a small guard he let no no we're not going to talk about context and we're going to say there are six guys yeah those are the only one a's everybody else is a 1b until they prove they can be in a 1a con 1 1 you so you're not putting a bead in there either he's never been to a conference final okay that's right so it's like is he a 1A so you're not putting Embiid in there either he's never been to a conference

finals so it's like is he a 1A talent can you build around him is he one of the best players in the world yes but like by our context we're saying in order to be a part of that club you have to then win one like I said there's only six guys that have done it currently so like

everybody else is a 1B until they are a part of that club I'm not saying like you else is a 1b until they are a part of that club that's i'm not saying like you got to win an mvp this it's like a 1a means should brunson have been an all-star starter that stuff is fan base that stuff that stuff is but it's not there's a there's a media vote and a player vote and he got that but the what the media and the player yeah so what did i just say it, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So he agreed with me. Okay, but that's what tipped the scales, but I think stat-wise and production-wise,

he should be a starter. So then you need to talk to the fans, because the media vote he got... Well, Dame's been around longer. LeBron shouldn't be a starter. Hey, look, look. It's a popularity contest. Agreed, and he plays for the fucking Knicks

and lost the popularity contest. Okay, because he hasn't been around as long. Do you think he should be an all-star starter if you were picking? Yeah. That's all I'm asking. I'm not fucking with you. I'm fucking with you. No, he does.

I think that he's had the quality of a season. But again, the reason why the fan vote is that they want who the fans want to see. No, I know. Dame's a legend. He's been around forever too i like dame look ken i do if you were to tell me that brunson can lead a team to a championship yes he can't lead this team to a championship this team they don't have enough best defensive team in the league i don't disagree i don't disagree really i don't disagree one of the best defense team but they can't lead this team they need more talent if he gets a little bit more talent then yes we're close then you're you're the closest we've been the closest you have been since like ewing and houston and those guys going

to the final fucking pump dude yeah since the fucking 99 this is the closest you've been hell yeah and we might go was ewing on that team in 99 yeah he was he was injured okay i want to get my it was her that when bill sim Simmons started the Ewing theory thing. Like, we were better without him. And I was like, shut up, dude. You're not better without Patrick Ewing. He was just saying that to get Knicks down so he could elevate his Boston group. Always.

So you're Bill Simmons. You're the Bill Simmons guy? No, but I remember him saying that. No, he pissed me off when he said that. I don't like how Bill Simmons underrates Patrick Ewing. I don't like the hate on on the knicks we all know i think he's talented i just it's not my cup of tea who oh no bill's yeah bill's talented but we all know this everything that you're saying you can't just give middle of the

road opinions he's got to give opinions that allows you to say that you don't like this about bill simmons yeah on your podcast, using your platform to give him love. Clickbait. All right. Look at you. You don't just keep him around for his good looks. I love that, man.

He's my favorite twink. Earthy. Yeah. But no, you're good at what you do. I'm glad you're broadcasting now, man. Thank you, man. And I appreciate this opportunity to come on with you guys. I've been such a fan of just comedy, like i had a bunch of my friends like all right 2024 i'm gonna go do um any comedic podcast like i was like i shot a dm to anthony jesselnick i was like i

don't think anthony i don't even know if you have a podcast i saw he does i don't think he does guess though yeah i don't know well i'm gonna be a guest i saw you talking into my and i just want to i just i want to be around people that like just see the world from that perspective and he his shit is so he's killer he'll take you for a ride he'll take you for a ride we're fans yeah so anthony just respond or like whichever 25 year old girl is running your social media can you tell her that some random basketball player wants to come on since mark and i feel like a couple of women on a double date here, let me ask a comedy basketball connection.

Let's go. Okay. What do you think is more difficult, making the NBA or making it as a comic who plays theaters? I think NBA without question. Here's the problem, though. NBA is point-based. You know, this guy's doing well.

He put up this many numbers. This is subjective. So that changes point-based. You know, this guy's doing well. He put up this many numbers. This is subjective. So that changes the whole game. What I would say is you're right. Like there's certain physical – like look, I have a brother that's 5'9". I didn't know I was going to be 6'7", 240 pounds. Like my dad's 6'2", my mom's 5'11". Like I just got the,

the lucky jeans and I liked playing basketball. So I got like, comedy is something to me. I look at part like, like broadcasting, there's a challenge here. There's a challenge in the competitiveness is not, there's a little bit amongst your peers of like, Oh, that was good. Like, okay, who does it? Great. Like who are the icons that you watch and you pattern yourself? You're not like them, but you're like the way he tells stories or the way he went with that bit. Those are the things that, like, I enjoy about it because it's like broadcasting where it's like calling a game, doing a television show like First Take, NBA Today. Or all of that shit is a different cadence. You have to speak differently.

You have shorter time or longer time. On first take, you can have two minutes to make your point. On a basketball court, when you're calling a game, you've got ten seconds to make your point. You've got maybe less than that to do a highlight. So it's just like the skills that you learn are just

so much different, and that's where the challenge comes in. That's why I enjoy it. Nice. Well said. Great question. Good question. I would say it's harder to be a comic who plays theaters, because you said there's 400 people in the NBA. 450, yes.

There's 40 comics playing theaters. Also, you guys are very age-based. Like, this guy's getting old. He's 36 or whatever. We can keep going. You know, Rodney played, and Don Rickles played. Well, Rodney Dangerfield didn't pop until he was like that's true yeah he retired here that was his old bit he's like i retired the worst part about is nobody knew oh look at this guy

no i'm no i rodney dangerfield like that back to school oh back to come on but rodney with a lot of the stuff that i do and you recognize the love of like how lovable you can become if you're self-deprecating right and i i learned that from listening to him like that you know i gets no respect and it's just you're laughing at something that you know is a joke and like he talks about his family or he talks about his agent or where he lives and it's just like you know so i would watch like all his stand-ups or when he was on snl like all that i would just watch it and just absorb my parents don't like it that i was such a sarcastic asshole, but it just, it really did.

Do you do a Rodney impression at all? No, I don't. I don't. And I try my best to do, like, to not like, say, like, I gets no respect, like, when I'm doing, like, you know, like, I gets no respect around here. I'm all right now, but last week I was in rough shape, you know? Is that right?

Sarcasm is the language of the intelligent, they say. And it's illegal in North Korea. Really? Sarcasm is illegal there. So how are they doing? They're doing great. But I... Yeah, we won't do it.

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That's 20% off and free shipping with code DRUNK at usejoymode.com. Joy mode. Joy mode. You know, I remember they came out with the original SNL cast, like that first season of SNL. I've watched that one over because it's had like george carlin it had richard pryor it had it had some like you're like

a real comment like well because it's like you watch like all the stuff that you grow up on whether it's like national lampoons and like all that stuff so then you go deep into it and you're like oh shit and so then you go and watch okay who, who was the first? Like, oh, on sale on iTunes, the first SNL. You're like, and then you see who's on it, and you're like, yeah, I want to see. And that's the one, remember, where Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd, where he's interviewing him. Or he's interviewing, no, it's Chevy Chase interviewing Richard Pryor. And they're doing, like, word association. And you're like, you can't do that now.

But it was in that moment, you're like, this is like ballsy, groundbreaking. Innovative. I wish you could be shocking more on SNL now. It's tough. I think they've pulled the goalpost in a little bit, especially on network TV. But on network TV, to an extent that it's like crazy. Well, I followed D.L. Hughley on Instagram, and he posted a thing from In Living Color, which is a show I used to love as a kid.

And it was great just seeing it. I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe this was on Fox. Yeah. It's Jim Carrey at a desk, like a David Letterman thing, and a white lady is in a full khaki thing, like a zoo worker kind of animal expert. And she's got Tommy Davidson on her back as if, like, this is the animal I'm going to show you tricks with. And they give him watermelon, and she's got tommy davidson on her back as if like this is the animal i'm gonna show you tricks with and they give him watermelon he's like oh my god and then jim carrey's like wow he loves it oh my god and it was killing and it was so funny and obviously

it was on fox and it was great and as a kid i'm like this is the comedy i watched growing up so when you yell at me about being offensive now i'm like look what i was raised on my number one show like again i buy stupid shit on itunes just my number still to this day is married with children like i watched this i watched married with children and it's like it is he hates his family yes he hates himself he hates himself enough that you kind of like he he the first by the way but he's still content. The first line that gets, anytime he walks in, a fat woman came into the shoe store and

it gets an applause break. But he's laughing. Yeah. But that's what, it's funny. It is funny. But that's the thing. You can't even like, those jokes are like stuck in time. Right?

So it's like, you watch this and it's like Kelly Bundy. They just like, like, like Christina Applegate. I was like the same age as her and you're watching her like she was so hot she's so like she's one of my favorite actresses and the brother david forstino is great but just the neighbors and all this shit and it was like they were they were the no ma'am that they started they were like politically incorrect on purpose even then and this shit now could could never go, but we still got it. Now it's like stuff you have to sneak into your house and watch and laugh. But man, it's amazing.

Yeah, it's almost like prohibition. I'm going to do it behind closed doors. No one will see it. Yeah, exactly. I think everything has a good idea. Like, hey, let's be more diverse. Let's be more inclusive. It all starts good, and then it just gets way too overcorrected, like all in the family.

This is a show about a bigot who's hilarious, and the whole show is like, he's the idiot. He's like, this fucking Polack came into my house the other day, and everybody's like, whoa. And he's the punching bag. Yes. But those people exist, so why not make fun of them? But that show also launched the Jeffersons. That's right. Those people exist, so why not make fun of them?

But that show also launched the Jeffersons. That's right. So it was like you had a person that was a bigot that he was the punchline, and then all of a sudden it launched one of the most successful black shows out there. By the way, he was a bigot too. George Jefferson. Was he really? Yeah, he hated white people. He hated white people.

What's his name again who created the show? Norman Lear. He created every show. He created hated White Bees. What's his name again who created the show? Oh, Norman Lear. Norman Lear. Yeah, he created every show. Yeah, he created every show back then. Good times. What was it? WKRP Cincinnati. I kid you not, I bought the first episode.

Get out of here. I kid you not. Just because I wanted to hear the song. Oh, that's hilarious. I was like, yo, I remember this shit. And I just, yeah. It actually wasn't that bad of a show. I watched the first two episodes.

I watch a lot. I got a lot of time. Yeah, you're on the road. What's your routine when you're like, you go to a hotel probably usually, right? Yeah, I go to a hotel. I try and stay out of trouble. I go to a hotel. I watch a lot of old shit because when I-

What else do you watch? You know, so I watch a lot of daytime old stuff. Like I didn't watch, like I was black. I grew up in Arizona. I wasn't watching like King of Queens and Everybody Loves Raymond. I wasn't. But all of a sudden, nap time, you get back to your room, 12 12 you're in your room from 12 bustle leave at 4 15 so you're scrolling through television i've watched every movie i've seen everything you're like what's this

king of queen shit what's this and so like i never watched it growing up so all of the episodes were new for me you should watch like yes dear i used to watch anything that was on tbs or tnt i used to just i used to just fucking crush through it. But it was like, look, man. Raymond had some pretty good, that was some great comedy on there. Jerry Stiller. Unreal. He was amazing.

We got to get Jerry Stiller on this wall. He's an all-timer. That's true. He is an all-timer. He had a, oh, was it him? I'm trying to think. It was him or Richard Pryor. It was like, was it something I said?

And then I found out that him and his wife. You start to learn the backstories if you're actually studying comedy and learning. And you're like, this dude, I didn't know. I saw him in a couple of movies and Zoolander and this. And you're like, oh, this dude's an icon. And then you realize, this dude has been doing, and his wife's been doing this since the 70s. Exactly. That shit is. What are you like you like are you big movie guy you said so what are your old timers

white man can't jump that that came out when i was 12 so like that that's how i started playing basketball i was like wait guys just go to the park every day and just play basketball this is a thing and that actually picked up park basketball like no different than like and one basketball was because it showed guys were hustling guys were this there was a culture behind it that was going on and they just captured it in the movie because that's back when you used to do three on three tournaments with like hoop it up and gus macker and like all of these different things it was la and it was la so it was like you start you're like oh guys go to the park and then people kind of viewed it as like a thing remember when Rounders came out and everyone started playing fucking poker and everyone became fucking Matthew Damon?

That's a great movie, too. Yeah, outstanding movie. No judgment there. That's our boy Brian Koppelman wrote that. Yeah, so no judgment. But that just shows you how a movie can actually move the culture. White Man Can Jump was that movie.

And once that movie came out, I was 12 years old and now I'm at the fucking park acting like I'm Sidney Dean and Woody Harrelson and cracking jokes and betting other kids $5 to play one-on-one and shit. You can't hear Jimmy. No, you can't hear Jimmy. There's a line in Rounders where Ed Norton and Matt Damon are playing poker,

and Matt Damon whispers to him, he's like, we're like fucking Frazier and Monroe. The roles are always backward. I'm like, you know a Knicks fan wrote this script. You know a Knicks fan, yeah. That's a compliment, he wrote it. So you know he had to just sneak in one. You got to.

Let's just start with the letter Q. Yeah, but, oh God. Rosie was so hot. What is it called? Quince. Quince. I can't let my kids see the movie yet because there's still like a couple of scenes,

but I have taken my kids to like the Venice Park right there and showed them. And then like you can show them the intro to the movie yet because there's still like a couple of scenes but i have taken my kids to like the venice park right there and showed them and then like you can show them the intro to the movie you just can't show the movie yes you know they're still on what other i want to hear other movies they're into here uh so they're remaking that by the way which i think is a sacral jack harlow is in yeah it was remade uh did it came and went i have not seen it it. I didn't see it. I haven't heard about it. I hear he's good in it, but it's just not a good show. Yeah, look, Jack Harlow's going to be just fine. He's going to be just fine. Certain things don't need to be remade.

Well, it's also the context of how you remake it, how you tie it together. That's the thing. And it's going to be more toned down. It's going to be more PC. It's going to ruin it. He's a street guy. I'll give props to the new Ted on Peacock. They go fucking hard.

Ted's awesome. But they're based off of the movie. But I know you think sometimes that they have to tone it back. And it's Seth MacFarlane, so he's like, I don't give a shit. And streaming. There are certain people and groups that cannot be canceled. Right, right. They've given up on South Park.

You can't cancel them. No. You can't cancel them no you can't cancel family guy they have said offensive shit and they are the ones that are grandfathered in so for him to do ted and it's like what are you gonna do like in a cancel like family guy that's been on for 20 years you can't do that south park book of mormon like you can't you can't cancel there's nothing that they like and they also blend in the heart so well where you're like book of mormon's like kind of sweet on top of being so fucked up oh yeah they i mean that's what those great 90s comedies had like we talk about something about mary all the time on here because they were able to like make you like the premise is he's stalking a woman and you're

rooting for him yes i mean that's because you know he's a decent guy like they knew how to put the right amount of heart and the right amount of fucked up jokes. Well, it's also when people say you go back and look at the office and you're like, wait, Jim was just hitting on somebody's fiancé the whole time. That's all he was doing. Good point. And you're sitting here like. But the fiancé sucked.

Yeah, he did suck. And so they had to make him shitty. If he was a great guy, they'd be like, Jim's the asshole. So they make him shitty on purpose. But at the end of the day, it was like every day, maybe he was a bad guy because some dude in the top office was always hitting on his fiance. Anybody ever thought about that shit? That might irk me.

Team Roy over here. Yeah, I'm fucking definitely Team Roy. Not to mention all the retard and black jokes that Michael Scott made when he did the Chris Rock impression, all that shit. That's where the evolution of comedy comes. Like, look, I did shit that was acceptable then that's not acceptable now. Totally. I have jokes I wouldn't tell anymore.

And it's like, doesn't mean they're a bad joke. It's just like there was a time when that type of joke was okay. Yeah. That was a time I don't think it would hit. It is interesting. Like, Mark and I talk about this all the time. We'll be on the road. And if the crowd's really young, I was just in it would hit. It is interesting. Like Mark and I talk about this all the time. We'll be on the road. And if the crowd's really young,

I was just in Madison on Thursday. They did, it was like, they do like a college night. So it's all young people. And, um, man,

I could just see the fear. Like I'd go into a premise and I'd be like, guys, have I, have I steered you wrong? Yeah. Yeah. Trust me.

I got this. You got to do a lot. But in season, sorry. In his standup, he talked about that. He's like, look,

I did a bit about R Kelly shooting light and come out on the entire crowd based off of like him saying and so he's like i can't do that now he was like yo things have changed he talked about i forgot what his little uh uh nephew that he he had in his bed he was like all the things that i was talking about my nephew i can't do that that now. At the time, it's acceptable. When we find out that R. Kelly's a pedophile, I can't do it. Well, it's like we always knew R. Kelly was a pedophile. But he's like, now that he's been convicted, I can't do that joke. So I think, yeah, you can't come self-righteous, but you also have to own, like, at the time, this was somewhat acceptable and maybe edgy.

Now it is beyond offensive, and i understand that and accept it but i'm not like i'm not ashamed but it also it also guess what things swing back things change you know i mean you're talking about loving watching some of these old shows i mean you can't there's not gonna be a show where al bundy talks to his wife like that anymore but that's why it's refreshing and that means maybe that will come maybe that type of show maybe there will be an appetite for that at some point there is there is an appetite but we all have to suppress it the people that would have to suppress in my humble opinion you have to not want to say suppress i mean in a sense of like we can't be like writing the networks where is the next married with children you're just like i hope somebody can

figure this out roseanne came back and it was killing it was good it was killing but that was i feel like it was grandfathered in right if they were to do a reboot of married with children and and and uh what's his name ed o'neill decides to do it by the way it's really hard when when you're talking to people and they know him from modern family which is an outstanding killer show outstanding show but you're like no no that's al bund, that's Al Bundy. He will always, he's great in this show. He's amazing, but he'll always be Al Bundy, but certain things get grandfathered. I always landed

a hot wife, too. I love that Katie Segal was really hot, and he was just like miserable about fucking her all the time. Yeah, but I think that was a prelude to what life really is. Yeah, for sure. You can't stand him, but he never strayed. He never did did anything wrong he would always look at boobies he would always go he would always go to he'd always go to the strip club he would always do all his things but he never

he would like look at girls and then he would show him running in the house and grabbing her and running upstairs you're like he you guys are really writing in a story of him like imagining another woman while banging his wife like I remember they had a nanny they had like a nanny or somebody that was like a backpacker staying with them smoking hot they had like Mila Djokovic like they had so many hot people on that show so there was like a nanny staying with them

and every time like Al would look at her or look at the nanny he would like go upstairs and like wear Peg out and then it was like Peg kept trying to get her to stay she's like she was like wear peg out and then it was like peg kept trying to get her to stay she's like she was like a oh that's hilarious she's like no no no no i want i want you to stay i want you to stay that's great you're like this shit is next that is that is edgy for network tv that's crazy well fox was you know fox was still building and growing you know that's

when they were using a living color which we now know family guy like they know how to use like they're like hey we're gonna give all the black people a bunch of content and then we're gonna That's when they were using In Living Color, which we now know Rupert Murdoch. Simpsons family guy. They know how to use. They're like, hey, we're going to give all the black people a bunch of content, and then we're going to take it away once the network is established. You guys can read that. That's what they did with Martin and In Living Color. They brought black people back with cops. They did. Which was on Fox.

It was on Fox. It was a great show. You didn't realize. They did a good job of diversifying the criminals on Fox. They did. They really did. They went to the rednecks. That's true. There were some meth labs.

That was body cams before body cams. That's right. They got them on camera. They weren't first 48. They weren't just in the hood. They were like, no, no, no, no. Good point. We're going to get the, because you need the crackheads.

You need the meth heads to run. That makes for great footage. By the way, the producers, when they started that show, said because we know we're going to be accused of racism, we're going to do 50% white and 50% black on every episode. Did not know that. Every episode. Which, by the way, that is not close to what the population is. That's true. Basically, we're going to target black people but uh yeah i was like we're just gonna do make sure it's

50 50 even though black people are like 14 of the population let's make sure we but that was police brutality on camera and we were cheering it on yeah yeah that's how different the time we were like fuck yeah get him well she had a gram of weed where it's like oh that justifies the whole broken tail like pulling him out of the car. But look, how old are you? 40. How old are you? 37.

Oh, God. You look so much younger than him. I know. Isn't that crazy? Wow. But it's like we all grew up in the same era where we were watching, well, you guys might be a little young for Rodney King, but you're watching the OJ. You're watching police shit going down.

Yeah. Like, you you know all that shit so it's like yeah we have a different view of police yes and maybe the people like people that are a bit younger than us right because like oh no no when cameras first came out police had a real reckoning oh yeah there was like hey you guys got a lot of questions you gotta answer now and so that's why every every young person should watch the oj 30 for 30 series because it does the la it breaks down the la riots and you know la was on art the lapd was on trial it's crazy it wasn't oj it was like because that's what you're saying

they're like when mark firman gets up there and it's like have you ever tampered with evidence have you ever said anything or anything he's like i plead the fifth and you're like oh wow it's incredible it's one of the it's i'd say the best 30 for 30 ever done and there's a ton of great ones but i think that's they won an oscar an emmy for that bad boy was that was that ezra edelman who did that one you should look it up but that that's jeffrey tubin tubin wrote he wrote the book he wrote the book people versus why did you start why'd you start laughing i thought it was a zing i thought it was a zing it was it was it was i was listen, if you guys don't know Jeffrey Toobin, Google him. Well, hey, shout out to the white lady in the police department who fucked like eight

members of the staff. I never, I saw all the memes, but I didn't, I like to do deep dives and shit that's funny. What was that? She called for backup. Oh, God. I'll do it. I'll do a little more. Yeah, come on. There we go.

That log is unreal. It's just too good. Too good. This should not be done. We should finish. There's no top on a big guy. You're just joking. You're just giving it the guac guac.

Yeah, okay. This is just the best scotch. Yeah, it is. Shout out Nick Offerman. Nick, I love you. If you do a podcast, I will come there also and drink with you. I don't think he does, but we should start one. I would start one.

He showed up to ours. He's the only Nick you like. All right, all right. You're a fucking Jeffery. Hey, come on. Look, it's good. No, Nick Offerman is. He's cool, man.

But no, were you a fan of Jeffrey Toobin? Have you ever seen any of his work? I like the Zoom. Did you Zoom in? Of course, of course. He wrote the Patty Hearst book. It's a great book. Yo!

Where's that story? Look, I'm proud of you. I don't even know you, and I'm proud of you. Listen, the Patty Hearst documentary that CNN did is one of the fucking trippiest. I haven't seen that. It's trippy. It is one of the trippiest things that you've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of bullshit.

I got a lot of downtime. The Patty Hearst documentary, because it'll go into the comedian. I'll tell you a crazy story when we're off air. I can't wait. Oh, I got a crazy story. I got a crazy story for you, too, about that office. Radical story of Patty Hearst. She's an heiress of a newspaper mogul.

Yes. And super rich. And then she hooked up with the Black Panthers? No. She was kidnapped. God, this is so racist to you. Why is it that you go fucking racist? She got kidnapped, dude. She got kidnapped by some extremist group that were like, but why did it have to be

the Black Panthers? Do you see how you've been programmed? Well, she did end up banging one of them. She might have been banging one of them. But it wasn't a black dude. It wasn't a black dude she was banging. It was one of the other dudes. Oh.

Anyways, she gets kidnapped. I thought it was hotter. She gets kidnapped and then starts going on bank robberies with them yeah and there's a famous photo of her with a gun and they're like is she a hostage does she like this now yeah stockholm syndrome and then they were like well they were like oh she brainwashed her and it's like yeah the heiress got brainwashed and then when they finally caught her after like a year manhunt after a year manhunt looking for them which most i didn't know this because i kind of knew the story they so basically the

cops were looking for all of them right there was like eight or ten of them they all had a bunch of it would make a great series because there's all these weird dynamics of like bank robbers and like how they had like you know so this is beef and shit they get a house they rent a house cops find the house patty's not there she's out uh with three people cops roll into the house these people have a fucking shootout in downtown los angeles what like all of the people in the group die because the police are firing like and they have all sorts of automatic weapons so it's literally a shootout that they have film on looking for patty hearst they think

patty hearst might be in there they don't know whole shit and you're like i didn't know this part of the story that no multiple people died and all it yes and she ended up marrying like a in the end she ended up marrying like some type of security guard they had the end it was like the second she had any normalcy she's like i'll marry this this guy. And because her family owned every news station paper. The Hearst. Yeah, the Hearst. Citizen Kane is Hearst. Yeah, there you go.

Is that really? Yeah, it's William Randolph Hearst, isn't it? And then I think that writer, Jay McInerney, married another one of the Hearsts. Oh, yeah, the Simony's Liberation Army. If you want to have a fucking Edentable and fucking- It's incredible. It's crazy. Have they made a scripted version of it?

Because it would be so good. The story is so good. It would be hard to sell it. I don't want to say hard to sell it. What you think of it- Because the more you watch it- They did one of the J. Paul Getty. That's kind of a similar type of thing.

They made a scripted one of that, right? Yeah. I mean, that's a pretty fucking dark one, too. I don't know that one. The kidnapping of the grandson, that one? Yeah, well they just wouldn't pay the ransom they wouldn't pay the ransom yeah and they cut off his ear i feel like they did a movie of that they made a movie of it was supposed to be kevin spacey and it was right when he got canceled so they had to like dub in christopher plumber so he's like can you just not do bad things kevin spacey i really

love kevin spacey so talented who doesn't love kevin spacey his favorite basketball i guess i guess a couple kids but other than that uh he's acquitted by the way that's right so he wasn't but did he yeah so okay what happens with the once you're acquitted he should be able to come back to society but who knows it should be in a deserted island somewhere. You should be able to get hired again, I mean. Oh. I'm just saying. You know, proven innocent or whatever. Proven.

Yeah, that's a problem right now. Well, that's tough, though, when you're like, for all the cancel culture people, you go on trial, you're proven innocent, and then you still can't work. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. There is a kicker from the, I think it was the Buffalo Bills. He was a kicker. I heard about this. He was like a stud. trevor bauer this dude like wait that's the picture that's the picture but i'm saying there's multiple guys yeah i'm gonna circle back to japan yeah yeah but then he gets proven and

it's like dude like we are targets right we are targets when you're in this in this but i heard trevor bauer's a piece of shit well yeah but you can be a piece of shit and not be guilty of what you're accused of and that's the part where it's like, just because you're like, you know. So you're still going at him. That's the problem. Yeah, it's like Puffy. Like, he could be a piece of shit. I'm just joking.

He's probably guilty as fuck. Like, Puffy's probably really guilty. No, no. But it's the stigma. The stigma stays with you and the stench is on you. Like, the fucking Duke Lacrosse guys got proven innocent. Sure. And it's still like a

punch line it should be i we hate if you're playing casinos who's using it as a punch line you know it's like in the ether and then the coach got fired and he's like but they didn't do it and they're like i know but it doesn't look great they were still bringing strippers they were still bringing strippers back we got a few coming in later look i look really we're going on live we're doing you like paul pierce you... Look. Really? We're going on live. We're doing you like Paul Pierce, dude. You guys have an OnlyFans? What's going on?

No, we have, you know, Duke Lacrosse. Aziz is a good example of a guy who I think it's like, that's kind of on your Google page forever. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it's like, what did he do? He did... Well, from the context of... It was a bad date.

It was a bad date. And like what we read and like i again like you guys listen to me i fucking like to read bullshit and i'm like what did my guy is he's done like he's right like and he's 12 pounds like a woman could over 99 of the women could overpower him yes right so you're like what did this guy do and then you read it as like oh this was just uh this was just a shitty shitty date agreed it's like i said before there was a problem but it just gets too corrected and then it gets uh that that was one of those ones that was like it warrants an

apology not a public yeah it was also dude it was also at the end of the day it was published on babe.net it's not exactly it's not exactly you know and at the time but at the end of the day, it was published on babe.net. It's not exactly the time. But at the time, bro, everybody was. It was the heat. Yeah. It was the heat of that shit. Yeah. And it's like now you're lumped in.

It's like, no, there's a big difference between Epstein and all of these. And Harvey Weinstein. And you're just regretting going out with a disease. And you're going to a dude that met you and you went on a date. Yeah. And he came back and, you know, you guys did some stuff. And he was like, you know, and you're like, well, I didn't really like that. And it's like, okay, I'm sorry. And, you know, we don't have to go on a second date.

Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. Look, I've been on a date with girls that did shit that I didn't like. Yeah, same. Same. Don't lie. Don't lie.

I got pegged. You got pegged? No, I'm just kidding. I did see your bit about what the guy was. I was looking at some of the stuff on your guys's social about getting about getting pegged yeah i was in dania beach yeah some guy says girlfriend wants to peg him oh i watch people are going hard in the paint these days you know yeah that's that's a bit aggressive i think i'm okay with the finger i think a dick it's you're doing you're playing a different sport well i don't think it's yeah i don't that's, my shit is basically just as a public figure,

that area is completely off limits. Really? Yeah. A woman cannot, no tongue? No, no. Really? Tongue? I promise you, it's just not.

You don't like it at the rim? You know what it is? You get to a space where I'm scarred and you hear all the bullshit like there's a lot of shit that goes on and people want to fucking and it's like if you can stand firm on like nothing has ever happened in that area so it's like anything else is uh is bullshit i'm with you so like i've never done coke and i know if i do it i might start liking it no you will butt stuff i'll just start liking you know they actually go hand in hand butt stuff and coke right you'd be surprised you could even smuggle coke with your ass yeah so yeah yeah yeah like i said they go hand in hand hand in hand

don't do that all right i won't do it yeah coke and butt stuff stay like you got the finger you're you're already that's the gateway and even that i, I'm good. Even that, I'm kind of like, I'm fine. Wait, are you married? I'm not married. Are you single? I'm seeing someone. Why do you go, uh... You have to say it with more confidence. I'm dating a woman. Thank you for clarifying.

We didn't know. Thank you for clarifying. Thank you for clarifying. We saw the sweater, we were confused. Yeah. Dude, how do you deal with this? It's a lot. It takes a toll. The drinking helps. The drinking helps.

Him or you. We're about to kill this bottle. Well, that was the goal. Where are we at on the time? How are we doing? We're fine. We're good. We can hang for a minute.

I've got nowhere to go. This is the thing. There's not many people we can talk about the history of fucking comedy and old TV shows and bullshit. Where do you stay when you're in New York? What area? Wherever the company pays. Perfect.

That makes sense. Yeah. Except ESPN had me moved to Brooklyn because the game's in Brooklyn. So they had me moved to Brooklyn. So I'm not doing that. I'm going to stay. You're a Manhattan guy. Yeah, I'm a Manhattan guy.

I'm like, that was one of my things with relocation was more of like i like i want to live in manhattan and so uh wife was like oh you know it's two years we'll do this and i was like yeah i'm looking at place man she's like well that's gonna be it i was like well like can we at least get something in manhattan like i don't i like i like brooklyn i love the brooklyn nets no issue with that it's just like i like manhattan you like the culture i like i like I like Manhattan. You like the culture. I like the vibe. I like the energy. And it's not the same as it once was like 10 years ago, but the city always fucking changes. Sure.

So it's like, I just like Manhattan. That's my shit. I'm with you. I'm with you. But I'm looking forward to if the opportunity does present itself to spend more time. Would you like some? Yeah, please. You're really light.

Well, I'm trying to finish the bottle. That's the only reason why I topped off with a little glass. I feel like JR. Yeah. So Richard, my watch people want to know what you're really light. Well, I'm trying to finish the bottle. That's the only reason why I topped off with a little glass. I feel like JR. Yeah. So, Richard, my watch people want to know what you're wearing there. Your watch people? Are we streaming this? No, no.

I'm joking. I know they watch. No, it's a Cartier Santos 100. Damn. That's cool. I got a Timex $10. Yeah. Well, I didn't say the price of mine.

I didn't have any cool numbers to go with mine. Yes. Yeah, so that's the Cardio. Do you have a collection, or is this like your showpiece? It's probably my, this is my nicest one. I accidentally wore it for these guys. But I have, yeah, I only have like, I have like three or four watches. But I do like watches, but that shit's expensive.

It's just a rabbit hole, too. It's just a rabbit hole, and it's like don't cool watch I think is good but yeah you get sucked into these people with their collectors and that's some of the shit is crazy oh yeah Richard Millay for like half and they're hitting us and it's like you that you're you know like you see those bodegas and you're like that's definitely like like they're just funneling drugs through there yeah it's the only way to say why are you buying a half million dollar watch?

Well, it goes up and down. Because one person bought it. Yeah. And now that's the rate. But yeah. And we make fun of women with the purses and the shoes. But we're doing cars, watches, sneakers. What's the most expensive thing you've ever bought?

Outside your wife. Russia. They had to put holes in the box. For you. For you. Where you're like, like holy shit i can't believe i'm doing this low self-esteem comedian insecure i bought a uh 1973 bmw uh it's a classic and i just bought it drunk on the internet at three in the morning uh during the pandemic wow yeah and I love it. There it is. You can see it there.

It's a beauty. I showed it to Seinfeld. He likes it. He's a car guy. Yeah, he's a car guy. You've got to get on the next season. I know, right? The car helps.

That would be cool. You have an in now. You're like, we drive my car, because this whole thing is you drive a car that represents you. Totally, and you don't have to fly to LA. Jerry, I have no influence, but like as a fan of your show and I watch it often,

I think he would be outstanding. Thank you. Outstanding. Jerry's like, who the fuck is this guy? He's more of a baseball guy. He's a baseball guy. Yeah.

If you were Jose Reyes, this would have worked. Yeah, 100% done. Done. Would you come too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the craziest shit? I mean, an apartment is the craziest thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the craziest shit? I mean, an apartment is the craziest thing I've ever watched.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's adulting. That's adulting. I'm talking about like- A watch is probably the craziest. You got a nice watch? Yeah, yeah. It's a Rolex.

Oh, I never noticed. I feel bad. That's nice. And look, I like it. You got the everyday band. You got the- Yeah. So you wear it all the time.

Yeah, I don't like- I like it to be a little subtle too. I don't like like a flashy watch. Yeah. I think it's be a little subtle, too. I don't like a flashy wash. I think it's just cool. It's like, yeah, it's nice. It's good. And I don't spend big, really. Well, you're a comedian.

I get it. You want to be frugal. Shit goes up and down. It could go away. Yeah, it could go away. You'd be Louis C.K. You don't know. Louis is making a lot of money still.

He's crushing it now. He had to go a little bit more on the independent side. True. But I loved his show. I wrote Louis an email at 2 a.m. a few nights ago, and I said, I'm just binge-watching Louis, and I said, I'm so happy this show exists. It's like the perfect combination of New York and comedy

and the cellar, and I love the way you represent New York. And he wrote me an essay back, and I was like, what a fucking... See, I think that's me hanging... Again, I'm going to make up a random association, present new york and he wrote me like an essay back and i was like what a fucking see i think that's like me hang again i don't i'm gonna make up a random associate but like yeah me like texting and hanging out with ron the way i look at you when you're like yes i sent you i sent louis ck i'm like i fucking love him like he's so i think he's one of the best ever i think i think his mind i did i really did sorry to yeah no i just think he's one of the best minds oh yeah history of comedy i go do shit all the time on youtube just

watching old stuff it's so good it all holds up did you ever watch his show on hbo that he did yeah lucky louie lucky louie was amazing what did they get two seasons of that one two seasons barely and it was it was had that the married with children vibe yeah it did and it was like and it was like his it was like his little daughter in the show was awesome and then he did louis on fx yes that was my favorite one that was awesome like that some of the shit when like he had like wait yeah well yeah it was the two little white girls his daughter but had a black wife and like i forgot her name the actress that she also played his wife in in in lucky louis uh but she was like yeah she was like how did those come out of here and it's just like what do you what do you mean it's like what and it was like i'm crying yeah like she's not even getting

the bit out i'm just like crying laughing just like i heard him explain that once on a radio show he said i just hired the best actress for the job yeah meritocracy yeah she she's amazing he said fuck the explanation who cares what the explanation is and then you get a joke out of it because it is like the minute you see it and it's like the minute you you don't you the jokes you start laughing before she even says anything it's like the i think she was meeting his wife for the first time she's she's a you know a black woman and the um the the other actress again i i forgot her name yeah pamela's like she was confused yeah because now the whole audience is confused and you're like

and then watching her like like kind of like navigate through the, how did that come out of like, and you're just like, that's well done. Like whoever did that, that's a real random piece in a script. That's all him. Yeah. That's, that was fun. My favorite thing is just the way he handles construction in New York where they're just drilling outside.

Do you have that clip? Yeah. Yeah. It's like one of my favorite things. He just represents New York the way I like relate to it where it's a love hate relationship. And right. I mean, he's, yeah, it's like one of my favorite things he just represents new york the way i i like relate to it where it's a love-hate relationship and right i mean he's yeah he's he was at a point right then when like he couldn't he could shit out gold it was like no yeah everything he was because it was just like his vantage point like even my even my boys will do like my one of my

boys like hey you want to go do a bang bang right where it's just like you just eat that's bobby kelly oh he's so funny what is bang bang where they'd eat two restaurants in a row hey you want to go do a bang bang right where it's just like you just eat two bobby kelly oh he's so funny what is bang bang where they eat two restaurants in a row do you want to do like do you want to go like mongolian beef and sushi i see this is fucking this is new york to me just i know you're like i'm gonna sleep in tomorrow it'll be a great day and then this shit happens this is fucking great yeah it looks like your block. It really does. And it's a Saturday morning. Yeah. I think they're having fun.

They're just extra banging. He's just banging it for no reason. That's great. Because that's what he's envisioning them doing currently right now. Exactly, exactly. Then you've got to heighten it. This is a great, yeah. What a fun moment for an actor too like oh we get to break in and hit shit but it's like this is what it feels like when it's going on outside your window yes exactly that's comedy baby and just being miserable is funny oh yes losing is funny of course quinn always says to us we're not supposed to win

yeah no we're fucking losers and i'm like i have that's a it's good to remember that yeah like that's ronnie dangerfield like i don't want to hear how awesome and how successful you are when you get on stage i want to hear how you're just like me but a little bit worse so i can laugh at you yes that's all people want well you know i came home the other night my i saw a guy jogging naked i said what are you doing he said you came home early he's losing no right like i've watched all i've watched and then listened to like all of his stand-up shit and it's just like like jackie marling like how do you come up with a billion one fucking i know like how do you like how does your brain work in in such an add way that you can

come up with a million one-liner two-sentence jokes and just string them all together remember them all do like that shit that's where i say like i think comedians if you were to put the five smartest scholars and and the five best comedians i feel like their level of intelligence is the same that that's speaking of comedian, I don't know about that. No, they might have some more dark shit. But, like, come on. To be able to touch human people and touch a story and tell it and articulate it and, like, bring in so many emotions. Chappelle does it such a great job where it's like he's not even trying to make you laugh.

It's just because it's him telling you this fucking horrendous story that it it's just like but you find the humor and the softness and the message like that shit is fucking hard to do it's hard and but you got to work it out in front of a crowd the problem is like i made that rosa parks joke earlier you laughed other people would go that's kind of fucked up that's a serious story and i'm like i know but i'm i'm joking yeah but i'm fucked up that's why i was like oh yeah okay we're, oh, yeah, okay, we're the same. But that's my point. We're the same. Not everyone is like us, and that's the hard part.

And they go, hey, you piece of shit. And also there's a risk in doing that. There's a risk. And then falling on your face, and that falling on your face. Is the risk higher than it's ever been for you guys? Let's say in the last three, okay, since 2020, has the risk ever been higher? It's not higher, but it's more obvious because of the internet. They can go at you.

If they want to end us, they can end us. I mean, that's the thing. It's like we've said enough shit. There's enough footage of us. If they want to take us down, it's easy. You just have to commit to it a little bit. I think the cancel stuff is a little overblown. I agree.

I think it's like- No one's canceled. No one's canceled anymore exactly over jokes over fucking jokes like who gives a fuck yeah no no no intelligent person is like he needs to stop talking there's enough like trump is running again you're gonna get mad at us yeah you know what i mean yeah it's like the positive but it's like even dave chappelle he's like just remember you clicked on to watch this good point you clicked on to watch my comedy you can't go complain about it and it says it's like but that's where i think comedy is like some people will watch things to be offended

right they're gonna watch it that's like entertainment yeah that's their form of entertainment it's like i'm gonna watch dave chappelle tonight if he says one negative thing about this well there are people hate watching it yes yeah but he said you tuned in like think about that like you used to watch tv and it was like you were entering a room that you're like well let's see how this works you were taking a chance on that channel not the person really so now you're taking a chance on the you click that's new yeah but if you click on gay porn that's on you what the fuck are these animals doing the guy never showed up yeah yeah you came yeah what yeah you're the one that came yeah exactly you're the one who got hard

and finished you're jerking off like this is the worst gay porn i've ever seen is that the porn you watch no no i'm just making an analogy. I'm just saying. But I have watched it. So you're not being literal? No, but I have watched it just to see where I'm at. Oh, you did that Viagra. You did the Viagra gay porn test.

Oh, I didn't need Viagra. You did that. Yeah. I think Daniel Tosh did that. They did the Viagra gay porn oh really yeah he did it on tosh.o and it was like they all like stood on a table they were wearing they were wearing sweatpants and then they all took that's hilarious and then they maybe they didn't take viagra but i remember that was the bit like okay viagra to see if you're

really gay you know those mid-2000s shit take Take Viagra, sweatpants, and they all stood there, and then they had gay porn on the whole time. And if anybody got hard, that's how they knew. That's hilarious. Did you ever play with a gay guy? Yes, I played with the gay guy. Amici? Well, no, I didn't.

What do you mean by play? No, like. No, no, no, Jason Collins. Jason Collins. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Jason Collins. He's gay?, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Jason Collins. He's gay? Very.

I didn't even know that. Oh, very. Like very, very – He wasn't out when he played though, right? No, no. He wasn't out. But what was funny is that Jason – So I knew him in college.

I went to Arizona. He played at Stanford. So we were rivals. Like both of us were number one seeds. Like they were very good. We both get drafted to the Nets in the same year. And i'm sitting here like i fucking hate this guy the fucking stanford nerd fast 40 becomes one of my closest friends like we were on the team together for five six years all of our success all of our stuff like that's my guy and we we both get traded a couple years later

he comes out i wake up and i'm like i wake up and someone sent me the thing and it was said like jason collins he comes out it's like he wasn't on a roster at the time but i think he was kind of like if i'm not gonna play i still want to be an advocate so he comes out the big sports illustrated and he comes out as gay so i fucking text him and i'm like yo and this motherfucker responded back to me he's like yeah i was meaning to talk to you and it's just like yeah he came out as gay and like it just never came up it just never came up no he actually dated he dated a woman for a long time he dated a woman for a long time like and we saw all his stuff and like she was great but he came out and the funny thing is he has a twin brother. He has an identical twin brother. Jaron, right? Jaron that also plays in the NBA.

So you're like, are you both gay? And I know Jaron really well. So I throw a lot of jokes back at him. His wife Elsa is awesome. Hi, Elsa. And so, but the funny thing about Jason is that I don't care who you bang. I don't care what you do. Are you in practice on time?

Are you going to help us win? Are you going to help me motherfucking make money? Then I don't care. You do. Are you on practice on time? Are you going to help us win? Are you going to help me motherfucking make money? Then I don't care. You're not hitting on me. That's what I say to every gay man. I'm like, as long as you help me make money, I don't care. That's what I'm saying. What?

I don't care. Right? Come on. That's why my accountants and all my people are Jewish. It's like, yeah, help me make money. I love my people, right? Like my agent, my accountant. And I'm not saying that that's the only thing that they do. But, help me make money. I love my people, right? Like my agent, my accountant. And I'm not saying that's the only thing

that they do, but they help you make money. They're very good, right? And they have a lot of black athletes that play sports because, you know, there's a lot of Jewish athletes. You know, they're very good. They're very good at making money. Yeah, yeah. That's your NBA. That's your NBA. Well, in the 50s, the NBA used to be mostly

Jewish. Yes. And it sucked. Hey, don't you talk shit about Dolph Shays. Don't you know what Dolph Shays is outstanding? Don't you like that? You sound like J.J. Redick talking about they were all plumbers back in the day. Oh, shit. I hate that. Also, I did reach a point where I knew I was going to be a good athlete, so I started playing

GM mode on NBA 2K. I was like, I'll build a team. That'll be my thing. Yeah. I'll make trades. How'd it go? Not well not well are you still playing 2k i don't really play i play like i have it for my friend but i don't play really yeah you wish it you wish you had like i feel like it's sometimes either you get your brain just shuts down from video games like i don't i still love it's too complicated now i i it's too many things to learn i i'm not good at anymore yeah i i i so i was too competitive i never played sports games i never played sports Complicated now. It's too many things to learn. I'm not good at it anymore. Yeah.

So I was too competitive. I never played sports games. I never played sports games because it was just FIFA. Yes. Because there could be four of us in there. It could be like 2v2. That's fun. You're fun. You know, you're, you know, eating some edibles, smoking some weed, drinking some.

That's like GoldenEye. Yeah, like GoldenEye. GoldenEye's old school. I was a Halo guy. Oh, yeah. Halo's incredible. Halo. And now they got the show.

Shout out, Halo, whatever. You guys are awesome. Great show. The show's good? It got off a little because it was like a prequel to the video game. And the video game's like a story, as you guys. It's like a story. So it's like a prequel to it.

So it kind of shows you how Master chief became master chief and all that shit and it's just like master chief for me was like the first fucking spartan he was like the badass like everything but yeah me and my boys we would play that shit for like 10 12 hours because there's nothing else to do right it's like what kids are doing now with fortnite and call of duty that's what we were doing with goldeneye and mario kart mario kart that was classic yeah well because mar Kart, you can get the drunk girls back, the sorority girls, you get them back. You're like, you want to go back to our place and play Mario Kart? And it was like, yeah.

And even if you didn't hook up with them, you had girls in your place playing Mario Kart. It was a good night. It was a good night. Great night. You know, whoop their ass, talk a little shit, maybe let them win, feel good about themselves. And you throw a red shell at her later.

It was a white shell. You know? I don't know if this guy is gay. Is this guy out? Towns is not gay. Well, listen to this for a second. Uh-oh. He has like a voice identity crisis.

He's definitely code switching. He's code switching. He just... Oh, interesting. That's coaching. All right. All right, we can edit this because I don't want to. This is the thing. This is the thing.

Look, code switching for black people is a very difficult thing, right, from a standpoint of this, right? It is difficult i can't imagine no no i was like i was born in south central la right i lived there my mom went to to dorsey high school dad went to inglewood like i grew up in south central i now leave to arizona it's a very different environment it's all white it's all white it's all white and a lot of mexicans right a lot of all my best friends growing up were Mexicans. You're learning to adjust.

When you're sitting talking with your cousins and your grandmother and your uncle, that's one thing. You go to school, and it's not that you're doing it on natural purpose. You're just somewhat trying to blend into the environment so it's already difficult enough. I feel like he just has trouble with trouble with the switch that's all it is because everybody has it like you have when you're sitting down talking to executive how you talk when you're sitting and talking to him is completely different like you're a different version of yourself your your voice is different you don't give a fuck you're filtered it's and it's the same thing except for black people we've had to assimilate to a culture that puts us in a spot of like, yeah, how I talk with my boys in the locker room is not how I talk on ESPN.

How I talk with like my family member, all my cousins and everybody that are from like South Central. That's not how I talk to all my friends that went to University of Arizona. And so I feel bad for our boy, Cat, because like he's just not good at it but i don't think he's doing i've seen his contract i don't feel too bad that's what i'm saying i don't feel that he's doing all right he's doing all right but he gets a lot of shit and it's like he also talks a lot of shit though i mean there was that podcast clip of him being like i changed i'm changing the game and stuff there's bravado i mean you bring more of that attention when you're saying that and he's having a good year. Well, this is the problem.

We're fucked up. No, but I'm saying the level of confidence and arrogance and, like, irrational confidence and irrational arrogance that you have to have to even get close to being there. Now, do scales kind of tip a little bit? Maybe. But, like, you have to be psychotic to be like at 12 years old 10 years old i want to be in the nba similar and then you get into then you're 18 19 you're like i oh i can do this yes and so it's like how the fuck can we tell that man that like i would say i would say delusion for us like for comedians like you have to be like i'm telling jokes to strangers in a bar

what in what fucking world do i think i should get paid for the it's insane yeah and then when you're young remember thinking like you have that delusion where you're like maybe i'll get on letterman soon of course of course but you're like we sucked you need it that fuels you yeah but but like but that's why i have so much respect like so i did i did improv really at ucb so when i first retired i did a show um and like i i was like trying to sell a show and uh i was trying to sell like a um athlete like kind of like a curb your enthusiasm style but like a former athlete that's retired he's got all the money he's got nothing to fucking do and he just walks around fucking around like yeah it's like kind of like causing some chaos so

we were working on that i'm glad i said it on to everybody um but it was they were like hey richard you know we like the idea but like have you ever thought about like uh hosting like a game show and so they were i was like okay cool so they wanted me to do the pilot for the game show and i was like what do i do i like to be prepared uh you know whatever and they were like i was like do i take acting clothes is there like a hosting coach i was like i've never hosted anything like i just retired four months ago and the guy was like have you ever done improv and i was like no i'm a fucking basketball player so he's like man go do this so he sent me to ucb so i did 101 i did like a two-week intensive I did 101 I did 201 I did 301 and then COVID hit and so like I couldn't like because I retired in 2018 so once COVID hit then I like couldn't do it

but it was like going and doing that shit bro I have so much respect like you can see people's whose brains just work at a speed and they can put it together and they can put like you know whatever someone's saying in this and i'm gonna yes and and i'm gonna do this but the respect i have not only for the the improv people but this comedy is like like richard would you ever do stand-up and i was like no i like i like that i i have a high level of confidence a very very high level of confidence and if i were to go on stage and it were, I don't want to fuck with my confidence. It takes a different person to put themselves out there and say, I'm going to be vulnerable. I'm going to tell jokes.

I hope you guys all like this. It just requires a lot of failure. And you've already perfected something. It's tough. I don't know if anyone could be a great comic starting famous. Yeah. I agree. I think it's very hard. That's why Eddie Murphy is going to have trouble. Because he might come famous. Yeah. I agree. I think it's very hard.

That's why Eddie Murphy's going to have trouble. Because he might come back, he might come back. But he's going to have to fail for two years to get at a good hour. And he can't fail in privacy. I mean, part of the beauty is Mark and I, when we started, we were in New York. So people saw us. A lot of people come from another city. And they have some, like Hannibal Buress moved from Chicago to here.

We love Hannibal. But he moved from Chicago. He had some juice in Chicago. Mark and I started here. So people saw us when we sucked. And then out of nowhere, you kind of get good. And people were like, oh, shit. All right.

But there's something about failing in privacy. Like, we'd find shitty rooms. Yes. I would do, like, late night, the comic strip. And, you know, there would be no comic, there'd be comics, but they were all my friends. Yeah. I hated the mics at a certain point, because we were just failing in front of people who

didn't give a fuck. Yes. Other comedians. Other comedians. Yeah, and they weren't there to laugh. They were there. Yeah. And it's like, you don't have a fan base.

You don't have people that are excited to come see you. No. Or, like, have seen you on social media. And they're like, oh, Matt Rife is coming to town. You know what I'm saying? You don't have those people. But no, I just respect my thing about comedy. And yeah, I'm a nerd when it comes to it.

Because I can only watch so much basketball. I can only watch so much shit. So I fell in love with comedy specials, listening to Raw Dog, like finding different people, you know, Whitney Cummings, even, you know, Amy Schumer and watching them from like the roast. Then Schumer becomes like the big one, you know, one of the big stars and watching Whitney Cummings. Schumer produced our first special. That's what I'm saying. It's crazy. But it's cool to watch like the growth of comics.

Like people don't understand. Watching comics are very similar to watching athletes. You can watch them as a rookie where, yeah, they might've first showed up on the scene and the NBA, but they've done 10 years of work before you ever saw them as a rookie in the NBA.

They were playing at 12 and they had to, you know, they were McDonald's all American and they went to a college and now they're drafted fifth to your school or to your Orlando Magic and you've never heard of them before. And now you're invested in them. But it's like now you're kind of following them and then they become an all star and then become this is like. So it's like. But don't you love that about the NBA?

It's like these people, these players have chapters. It's kind of. But I love it about. I love it about comedians. It's very similar. I love it about comedians. It's like you can watch people. And it was like, I remember when, you know, I'm said i was watching lucky louis right it was like and then the show gets canceled on hb i was like man i don't know

who that louis ck guys was but he was really fucking good this is a really random show then he does lucky louis then you see his stand-ups and now the dude's blowing up so it's like you're going on these if you're a fan of comedy and how many specials has louis done though it's like you're saying these guys are doing the work it's crazy how many specials he probably done even prior to lucky louis so yeah right but that's what george carlin said george carlin said if you do six minutes a month if you can write six minutes a month at the end of the year it's fucking hard to do that i know it's hard to i know but george carlin also the goat right george carlin was like he's in the goat combo yeah yeah he's he's he's on mount rushmore he's on mount rushmore without a doubt but it's like yeah you're like so his thing was like if you can write so even if you

can't be lebron even if you can't be george carlin if you have to write six minutes every two months yeah then all of a sudden like you have you have a full you have a a comedy special you had an hour right and that's hard to do but i'm saying so it's fucking trying to be kobe bryant so it's trying and we're all in the same league right so you try to achieve it i completely completely agree there's a lot of parallels like you mentioned that lebron story where he was just on one night and you have to block him and it's brutal we have that with crowds like you ever seen the bill burr philly rant oh it's like that was his lebron that he had to, you know, defend and all that.

And he did it. Yeah. And that was on camera, thank God. And it blew him up. But that was his moment of like, all right, that was his flu game. But you know what? He had that. The way LeBron has a night like that.

Burr had that because he was eating shit and bad. Bill Burr is this quote mark and i always we always talk about i brought it up to him where i'm like killing an obscurity that's what burr would say we're in a strip mall in fucking ohio and we murdered and mark and i get to a point where like why does no one know our name we're killing in toledo ohio like why why don't they why does anyone know we're writing new hours and and at a certain point things get good but it's a lot of years of that like man another weekend strip mall but you don't realize that work like for for us that's the gym

really because the road is the gym yeah yeah i love it like even when like i watched nz's um at the con is the comedy seller here the comedy yeah you should come to the cellar yeah so i would love to come watch you guys before like i went watch watched, and Z's was doing, this was, like, kind of on his comeback. So, like, he was, like, no phones, like, that type of stuff. Everyone's waiting in line. And he does his whole bit. And he does a really good job because he addressed what was going on. He addressed how things are different now.

That's what he talked about. So, like, I got to watch him work on his material before he did his special. And the special was kind of, like, his quote-unquote comeback right but my my favorite podcast that i've ever listened to it was louis ck and mark maron that's a great ep that was fuck it's a two-parter yeah it was a vulnerable one where it was like mark would like talked about like you know i was a little jealous of the success that you were having and watching you do this and and and louis was fucking also very vulnerable and was like yeah that really fucking sucked yeah because like i was going through this and i missed one of my boys it's like you listen to mark and tell you stories about sam kinnison

and all these guys and you're sitting here like that was the coolest thing about comedic podcasts is that you get to learn the history of these dudes and like wait this dude was fucking raging with sam kinnison back in the day. Marin's old school. Yeah, Marin's old school. And it was like Rodney Dangerfield, he had, I feel like his shit might be on iTunes or YouTube, but it was like he was doing like, you know, Rodney had his place here. Dangerfield's. Yeah, Dangerfield's had his place.

And it was like, but it was like Roseanne Barr. Yes. It was like a young, like all of these kids. Seinfeld. Seinfeld. Robert Townsend one of them was Robert Schimmel my favorite opener

to any Schimmel's so good my favorite opener to any set ever cause it's fucking insane to open

he goes I heard a man got arrested for animal necrophilia how do you plead to that I'm sorry your honor I thought the cat was alive

while I was fucking it I thought the pussy was alive that's insane to open a set with that joke. Yeah, yeah. Takes balls. And to look like that.

Just the schlubby bald guy. And Bill Hicks in that set. Oh, Bill Hicks. Yeah, so Bill Hicks. Again, a lot of these people you learn because for me personally, I would listen to this and then I'd be like,

okay, who is this guy? Klein? Robert Klein. Robert Klein. And it was like so many comedians. It's like you recognize the guy and it's like, I'm just like anybody else. Like, oh, I recognize him And it was like so many comedians. It's like, I, you recognize the guy and it's like, um,

you know, I'm just like anybody else. Like, oh, I recognize I've seen him in this, but then you would hear like multiple comedians credit him for like his style. And like Jerry in particular. Yeah. Yeah.

Jerry, especially. It was like, he was the first one that kind of did it very observational, very this. And so it was like, let me go check out Robert Klein. And all of a sudden you're like,

wow, this fucking guy is good. Hicks is good. I like, I like some of the shit he was doing we love him yeah my favorite thing of his is if you haven't heard it listening right now is uh the flying saucer tour where he is doing this heady shit in just shit rooms in the in the uh in the south he was from houston he would david tell always said this to us about bill hicks is that he would say you know a lot of those comics doing this edgy shit they do it in like san francisco they do it in portland they do in like the safe rooms hicks is in alabama yeah you know what i mean like yeah they'll meet you

outside if they don't like your jokes well that was one of his stories is they chased he had to run to the car it happened multiple times but they were just like chasing chasing yeah that yeah that shit great but that's where but that's again why where like just as a student like my favorite shit was history growing up and so like for me like studying like the comedic history and understanding like where people come from what they do how they do it and it's like it all all the only thing it did as much as it makes you laugh it just gives you a tremendous amount of respect like for people like Roy Wood, like he was telling me a story.

Roy was telling me like stories about like, you watch his standup and how he was like VHSs. And he was sending out to different comedy clubs to try and go book places and try to do shit. And you're like, yo, I remember VHS. That shit sucked to try and record VHS and clip shit together.

Like push the time and you got to pause it and record it. It's like, bro, the comedians that, in my opinion, are between the ages of like 40 and 60, the shit that they had to do to get through to if they're successful, but no, that shit's not good. Roy is a classic. From Alabama. Exactly.

He's a Birmingham guy who did The Road. I mean, it's a great combo. He's like a New York guy, but he's from Birmingham. So I feel like he appeals to so many people. And, you know, Jon Stewart's hosting Mondays. Maybe give Roy Wood Tuesday through Thursday. Come on. Come on.

We've been fighting for it for a long time. I love Roy. Roy's okay. Most underrated guy. I'm not asking you guys, but no different than you guys asking me about basketball. You feel like I'm the experts. I look at you guys as the experts. Hasan Minhaj.

He's a friend of mine. I like Hasan. No, I know. I love Hasan. I love him. When all of this shit was going down and I saw his video that he made in response to the New Yorker, which I thought was complete bullshit the way they went about it right it was like how do you guys look at it when you're talking about like there's and i see his issue he's like when i'm on the daily show facts come first and we add humor

when i'm just telling bits like i'm i'm telling stories and then i'm adding like a tinge of facts in it so like that crossover part is tough. So I'm just more saying it's like when you're telling a stand up hour, right? You're going to tell everything I say is true. That's a fucking lie. That's the biggest lie you've ever said. I mean, there will be a twist that may be not true for the punchline, but it is all it. There is.

It's mostly true. I would say what I say. OK, so when. Oh, and I'm just purely asking again, you guys can edit this shit out. I'm like, when, like I'm big on, one of the reasons why I started a podcast and we were one of the kind of the first to do it. It's like, I want my friends to tell the stories. I want my other athletes to tell stories. Like I'm not here for got shoes. I'm not here for clickbait. Like, so like, I don't give a shit about this.

I'm just curious as a fan. Like, so when you're, when you're him and it's like, okay, when I do this, I might em okay when i do this i might embellish this part i might embellish that part is that like how how do you view that or how do you guys view that i would say that what i say on stage is almost i would say mostly true i would say i think it's uh i think the crowd can tell when it's not true i think when when you make up a joke for a twist and a punch line it's different than making up uh a premise for sympathy okay and i think that was his mistake that was his mistake so that was one thing that like no matter what he said in his rebuttal it was like you got sympathy from the the things that came from those jokes but i also i also feel a kinship with Hassan, and he's my friend,

and I also think the way the New Yorker goes about it, I have a real problem with gotcha journalism. Yeah. And I think the way they approach it, I don't think they started with a gotcha piece.

I think he was supposed to get The Daily Show. Yeah, well, he hit them up, ironically. It was like, hey, will you write a piece on me? I'm trying to get The Daily Show, and then they twisted it on him. But I think there's this congratulatory like they think

they're doing something brave but it's like don't do real bravery you know this is just a guy who's trying to get a gig like yeah help somebody and i thought but but you can't host a daily show if you were now busted exactly like a lie because you were interviewing politicians and you need credibility it's tough it's a sticky situation i think he's you know he's charismatic he's a funny guy he's amazing yeah he did the nba all-star weekend he did the game yeah and like like you guys hopefully i have his tabs i'm a fucking nerd when it comes to comedy i love him and i was bummed that this because i was like i would get get, like, I went to, because when the Daily Show was doing the things, I kind of sent like a tweet of like, hey, if you guys need a sports correspondent, let me know.

I would love to be a sports correspondent for the Daily Show. Whoa. And Hasan had, he had just done the All-Star Weekend and they were having Giannis. Remember he interviewed Giannis on the Daily Show. I did a benefit for Giannis with him once, and it was fun as hell. It was awesome. And so I was like, so once I saw that, and so I was like, I was like, hey, Daily Show.

And someone hit me up from the Daily Show. They were like, hey, Richard. And the timing didn't work out because they were trying to do something with Giannis. But I was like, and they were like, hey, why don't you come by the show? So then I started going by the show. Like I think I went twice, and it was just more of just like I wanted to see it. I wanted to be around. I'm a huge fan of the Daily Show.

I love it. I love seeing more of just like I wanted to see it. I wanted to be around. I'm a huge fan of The Daily Show. I love it. I love seeing all of the different people come on it and just seeing everyone's flair. But Roy is so good. He's so good on that show. I thought Hasan would be outstanding. I think he would have done a good job too, personally. I was like, okay, cool. This is what he wants to do.

He's going to do this for the next 10 years. And when he kind of was saying that he's kind of the leading guy and blah blah blah and you're like okay so what the fuck are they going to do now like like yeah they bring in john to do like once a week which i think is awesome sure john is the icon yeah like he is the show yeah and so you're like okay but that's like john doesn't want to do this you motherfuckers gonna have to find find a real host how badly do you think they wish they just hired john oliver well he's on hbo i know but they could have had oliver when stewart was out they could have made him an offer but but the problem is trevor noah was fucking really good i i just i just thought trevor noah and if you had to pick between trevor noah, Trevor Noah was a little bit younger, a little sexier, a little cooler.

And neither of them, I think both of them, in my humble opinion, are perfect. They're perfect for the job. Trevor did it for a few years and was like, guys, I appreciate this, but it's time for me to move on. But John, last week with John Oliver is pretty next level. Roy Wood deserves a show, in my opinion and i've said it i've said it loudly uh he's he's messaged me about it he's like basically you could stop campaigning for me i'm like i won't i won't no hey i will i will join the campaign for roy and

if roy doesn't want it well like you guys give me a call i would love no no i don't i don't liz i don't want to host the show currently, not yet, but I would love to be some sort of correspondent. That would be great. You should be the sports correspondent. I would love to be the Daily Show sports correspondent. That's part of the reason why I was like, in 2024, I'm going to go do as many comedic spots. Yes.

Because people see me as the funny guy on sports, and I'm like, no, I really know and study comedy. I really know this shit. First field piece, you in Toronto talking a crazy bitch yes a hundred oh god no get them drunk well it's different now because i'm 43 so so they're probably 40 so it's not probably it's probably a mom of three now and like in like ptas and soccer clubs and shit it's not won't have the same effect um so what, so what is your guys' next story for the next, what are you guys trying to do in 2024?

We're doing a vision quest, a vision board. He's got a special recording in March. Yeah, I'm taping a special in March at the Wilbur for Amazon.

It's gonna be on Prime Video this next one. Okay, in Austin, huh? No, Boston. Boston.

The Wilbur's a great, it's a great theater. It's gonna be killer. Okay. So we're doing four shows, gonna tape there. And you know, Mark and I are,

we wrote a movie, we're trying to sell it. What what's the movie it's about two struggling liquor salesmen we got our own whiskey here bodega bodega cat i saw you guys you guys are looking for a distributor right yes and that's the premise of the movie so we got the script out to people hopefully people want to uh make that and then yeah when is this coming out two weeks so what are we still it's called february well we're gonna exchange information like hannibal burris like we do you ever see the uh i work out like he has that he has this um no so if you could pull up the the like he has this song like he has like an alter ego who's a rapper now right yeah uh kind of like uh simon rex oh yeah dirt yeah simon's been on here a couple times yeah no i saw

i watched time like so so okay so okay we'll we'll work on the content but so so far i prefer stand-up yeah yeah no so i met i met uh i i met him many years ago and i saw him at the airport and i was like yo hannibal how are you doing you know i'm a nerd so i'm like yo man how you doing he's like i'm headed here so we exchange information so then he tells me like seven months later he texts me and was like hey like i have this you know song that i'm trying to film the music video for like i lift weights he's like you you want to be a part of it i'm like goddamn right and so i was like hey like hannibal was like i own a yoga

studio in la i know it's cliche do you really i own a yoga studio there are you a big yoga guy yeah i got into it because i started playing basketball that's hard playing basketball but i was like towards the end of my career it was like I found yoga and I was like, oh, this is fucking helping because athletes don't stretch. So it was like, I'm 35 years old. I started going to yoga. It's 98% women. It's fucking great.

I love it because it's a workout, everything. So then me and my buddy, we were living in Venice and a bunch of our friends lived in Hermosa, Manhattan Beach, and there was no nice yoga studio down there. So I was like, dude, like there's no nice yoga studio in Manhattan Beach with all that. I was like, why don't we do it? So we did it, whatever. We've been very, very fortunate with the success there. But Hannibal texts me.

It was like this. I'm like, fuck, Hannibal Buress texts me. This is awesome. I'm like, hey, I got a yoga studio if you want to come in. So in the video, I won't give it away, but he wears like one of those like muscle suits. Right. So I'm the yoga director. I'm like the yoga teacher.

And like there's people and he just burst like they're filming him like bursting in, like lifting weights and like screaming at all the all the people. And it was just like to me, like Hannibal Buress, like he he's all time. So, yeah, he's all time i love i love that closer in his last miami special about uh getting arrested that was fucking crazy oh yeah true story yeah i really i really hannibal burris like i i love him he he we do we still credit with him for really kind of calling out bill cosby and really kind of watching that shit i don't think people are really again you don't always look at the origin of

something but it's like it was like cosby ain't listening to i lift weights let's put it no but i'm more talking about i remember in his stand-up he was like i think he's doing some crowd work and he was like call him out and you pull your pants up yeah and then it started calling it started like kind of building steam and then there were some women that popped up was like he's not fucking lying and that's really true and the c CNN doc, they credit Hanwell Burris. Do they really? Absolutely, 100%. I remember I used to work at the Door Broadway Comedy Club

and Mike DiStefano, RIP, who was a great comic, was on stage and someone heckled him about Cosby. And he goes, yeah, well, he fucking rapes women. So I curse, but I don't do that. Something like that. Yeah. I'm butchering the wording, but I was like, I didn't know that. That was the first I ever't do that. Something like that. Yeah. You know, it was, I'm butchering the wording but I was like,

I didn't know that. That was the first I ever heard of it. And the worst part of, like I want to say, the worst part about it is obviously the women. My cool,

I'm listening. My best celebrity story is Bill Cosby. Oh, let's hear it. My best celebrity story is Bill Cosby. So like when people was it. My best celebrity story is Bill Cosby. So like when people was like, Richard, okay, listen, you've been in the league 17 years.

You've been around. What's your best story? And it was like, okay, okay. Sleepover? No, no, no, no, no, no. My best story. He handed you a coffee. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This is it. So I've always been a fan of comedy. I've always been that one. And I also like to argue. So my parents would always say, oh, you're either going to be a lawyer or a comedian. My mom and dad are both from Philadelphia. Right. You know, Cosby, his roots grew up watching the show.

So I was a little kid and I was always cracking jokes, getting in trouble. And my dad would always say, like, you're not a comedian unless Bill Cosby tells me you're a comedian. So I'm like, oh, whatever. And he would tell me that my dad that that was my dad. He would just we love the Cosby tells me you're a comedian. So I'm like, oh, whatever. And he would tell me that my dad, that that was my dad. He would just, we loved the Cosby show, whatever. Fast forward to like 2005, 2006. I'm with the Nets playing whatever. And one of the people that, Claudia, she worked with the Nets.

And I was like telling her about how, we were just bullshitting and telling her about Bill Cosby. And she's like, oh, I help Bill all the time. Every time he comes to the game i get his tickets i take care of him i'm like his own personal like concierge and i was like no fucking way she's like he's amazing he would 100 do that so i'm like what the fuck are you talking about right like my mind is like because like claudia like claudia and i we've worked together for years. And so I'm telling her this random story and blah, blah, blah. And so fast forward like a week, I get a phone call from Bill Cosby. And I'm like. That's a surreal.

Random number. And I'm just like, hello? And. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. So I get a call. And it's like, is this Richard? And I was like, I don't know who it is.

I'm like, yeah, you know, whatever. I'm glad I put my hand up to make it seem like I'm talking on the phone. And he was like, so I hear your parents say that you're not a comedian unless you talk to me or. And I was like, and now it's like all starting to click. And so then I try and say something funny. He didn't laugh. He didn't think it was funny. He was just like uh why

don't you give me your parents phone number and and at that point in time i was like oh okay so i give him my parents number this is i'm talking about like what i said great if this was the cosby impersonator i wish i could i wish i know i wish it was i wish it was. What year is this? This was probably like, I want to say like 2006 maybe. Okay, wow. Right? 2006. So Bill Cosby, I talked to Bill Cosby on the phone. I give him my parents' number.

He calls my parents. And now he calls my parents. My parents don't know who is talking to them for the first two. So I hear that apparently you say your son's only a comedian if i talk to him blah blah blah and i'm doing a terrible cosby impersonation i'm drunk i apologize and after a while my parents realize who the fuck they are talking to and he was a nets fan so that that was what got me some grace and so like my mom calls me and she's like richard your dad did like a fucking flip after he realized and he got their information and then the next time he went to tour

in phoenix my parents went and watched them he went met him talked to them and then like you know again in 2006 bill cosby is fucking michael jackson he's prince he's fucking that guy yes right like he is still the the most untouchable comedian maybe that has ever lived right and so that to me it was like to tell this story that like bill cosby gave me the blessing that my dad had all in god rest his soul my daddy passed away but it was like to me that was the and it was like once all this shit happened i was so sad for all of the women that he offended and it was fucking piece of shit shit happened i was so sad for all of the women that he offended and it was fucking piece of shit to do it but also like bill cosby gave doesn't take away from the story doesn't take it away and so like that was the one it's like i

don't tell the story very very often the the one from when i got from the stories that cosby's a great guy across the board and he didn't he didn't do anything to my mom so like that was positive that was positive but it was just it was one of those things like i recognize and i i am sensitive to like sure to what went on but at the same point in time it's like you gotta take your w there yeah like it's pretty special like a random connection and and i tell this story and like you know that's always been my dream just to fucking crack jokes and fucking have people laugh i enjoy it so to have bill cosby do that i'm like i've probably told that story only like two or three times because like i'm sensitive to

the subject but i can tell you guys because you don't give a fuck we're sensitive to the victims too but we do want a good story on the pod okay well that that's my that's my one bill cosby like he he he is my best celebrity story if you were to ever tell me the fact that he called my parents talked to them told him i was a comedian told him he thought i was funny and then met them when they when he went and toured out there so i don't know is he out of jail can i say shout out bill cosby he is is. He's out of jail, yeah. He's touring again. Bill, hopefully you've been, what's the word? Rehabilitated? On your best behavior. Hopefully you've been rehabilitated, but I'm very, very appreciative of that because my

dad, God rest his soul, he was the biggest fan. There you go. And I have trouble sleeping, so yeah. Where are you going to be? I don't know if this comes out, but on uh omaha dallas oklahoma city uh irvine salt lake city and then for the wilbur for the special i think they're all sold out maybe a few tickets for one okay that's a subtle flex hey guys i don't where's my one shot right there is that my one shot do i have a one shot hey listen i like i i don't know these fucking

guys but i will tell you i will tell you if you go watch them you will not be disappointed i have done this i've studied this shit they're hilarious funny awesome you would not be disappointed go watch them i'm you don't know who the fuck i am most likely if you're if you're listening to this podcast i think we got some basketball yeah but but i'm just saying you should 100 spend your money to go see them wherever they are i would pay my own money to go see them but i expect tickets from both of you we'll come hell yeah i expect i expect that means a lot coming from reggie miller yeah that was pretty easy you are the quickness that you do. Look at that. Come on.

You can see me in bed. Yeah, yeah. It's a curse, isn't it? Because you can't turn it off. No. Like, sometimes your wife is just like, can you just stop being funny? Can you just stop saying quick shit? Well, you know, it's got me into trouble as well.

Yeah, yeah. We're in the same boat. Yeah. So I'll be all over the place. Boy, who knows? Austin, Texas. Raleigh. Tucson. Phoenix. Yeah, wait knows? Austin, Texas, Raleigh, Tucson, Phoenix.

Yeah, wait, what's your name again? Kevin Hart. Hey, listen, go see Kevin Hart. He's not really in the Illuminati. Do not pay attention to any of that stuff. I'll wear a dress. Whatever you want, Hollywood. Buffalo, Minneapolis, Syracuse, Chattanooga, Madison.

Yeah, marknormanComedy.com. Get some Bodega Cat. Can't thank you enough, Rich. Bodega Cat whiskey. Bodega. If you can't afford the Offerman, get the Bodega Cat. It's for the people. It's for the people. I'll drink some.

Can I get some? No, not now. I'm hammered already. We'll send you a bottle. Yeah, I would love a bottle. I would love to. Anything you want to plug, Richard? Anything I want to plug?

I'd like to plug Road tripping is my podcast we pretty much do this where we crack jokes and talk backs but about basketball if i stop slurring and then um also old man in the three um jj reddick that's my i won't say he's my guy but he's my associate he's great i like him a lot he's my associate you know there's a high probability we're going to be working even more in the future um together on doing some projects so i love it yeah yeah it's a good combo yeah yeah he's got to stick up his ass and i'm very good at being a ventriloquist i like to plug something even though I had nothing to do with it. Kathleen Madigan special on Amazon. Legend. Killer. I came upon it by accident the other night.

I watched the whole thing, and then I watched it again with my wife. You were supposed to have her on, and she fucked up the dates. Did you fuck up, or did Kathleen fuck up, Matt? Just say he fucked up. Just blame him. Matt, you fucked up. Kathleen, we'd love to have you. Kathleen, you should come on here.

But bring your own liquor. Yeah. Bring your own liquor. But Kathleen, they're amazing. Yeah, she's great. Maybe get her on with Louis Black. Oh, they used to date. You guys, really?

I did not know that. Louis Black told the most insane Epstein story on this podcast. Oh, I did. I saw that. And I was like, he's very free-willing. He's like, yeah, we were all hanging out and we went there and then all of a sudden, was it David Blaine or what? Copperfield? Somebody

showed up and it's just like, bro, you know people are listening, right? He's awesome. No, Louis Black is legendary. I love Louis Black. This has been great. Keep an eye on what Richard's doing with JJ because it sounds interesting always watch him on ESPN

will you guys have me back on again? of course this was fucking awesome thanks for listening guys thank you Piva rec, you know the future's close I've had a little too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like a cop's coming

And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman does look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be true