We Might Be Drunk - Ep 19: Rowan's Creek Bourbon in the Studio

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

First free in-person ep! Mark and Sam drink Bourbon and record face to face for the first time    

We might be drunk, we might be drunk, as long as we are hanging out, you know we might be drunk. Raise a glass, let's talk shit, pep heaps, wrecks, and a bit, maybe drunk. We might be drunk, yeah. I'm so proud of us. Look at us. We're fucking, we're doing shit. We're doing shit. Nobody does shit, we're doing shit Everybody talks about it

I'm writing a screenplay I'm working on a documentary They're documentaries That's true, that's true Wait, are we on? Are we on? Oh great, good, good We're doing stuff

First in person man I know, this is great We got a studio. We're in Manhattan. We got chairs. Oh, that's good stuff, man. Hang on. A little sour mash.

Oh, yeah. Rowan's Creek. All right. Thank you. Thank you, Phineas, who brought us this bottle here. And for the studio. And for the studio. I'm loving it.

So, man, this is nice. This is a real step up where we're trying folks we read every comment they were hurtful i didn't read any of the comments don't read them why why are you reading comments well i mean once you get through the anti-semitism there's uh there's some actual good critiques some some constructive if these these guys are terrifying online because they're sitting in a basement milwaukee yeah but if But some people are like, hey, I can't hear this or that was out of frame or whatever it is. So I read them.

Yeah. I don't think you could read them because you start with those, you never stop. That's true. That's true. It starts with YouTube comments. Where does it end? Yeah. Good point.

Good point. Well, I read, you know, I put my special on YouTube and I've read every comment. Wow. So if you commented on that, I liked it or didn't like it, and you can go check that. It's going to be a little thumbs up, but it's going to have my name next to it. You're the most successful human being who does that.

I don't think anyone else. I'll take it. I don't think anyone else has the time. How do you write this many jokes and read? I think when I'm at the airport or something, I'm like, let i'm at the airport or something i'm like let me look at the special you know and i i have youtube uh notifications on my phone so i can just look at it right when they come in i'll peek occasionally but i'm in and out yours are good

i've looked at yours and i wrote a look at mine too well i look at everybody's i want to get a big feel what is going on i mean if i owned a restaurant i'd be reading yelp it's different i think you know it i guess it is there's more comments and there's more and also like restaurants do should respond to criticism more than more than entertainers we're artists at the end of the day i don't go that far but we're entertainers we're creatives you know we're making uh something that wasn't there before. We're the lowest. Carlin said we're the lowest level artists. We are treated the lowest, but I think we're maybe the hardest working.

And somebody said stand-ups are the warriors of show business, which we're out in the fucking boonies in Youngstown, Ohio, in a fucking condo. I think I heard that. I think it was Robert Klein who said we were the warriors of show business, the gladiators. And the story he told was like, I was in a limo with. I think I heard that. I think it was Robert Klein who said he was, we were the warriors of show business, the gladiators. And the story he told was like, I was in a limo with Meryl Streep.

And we're like, yeah, it sounds like you're really hitting it hard there. Yeah, yeah. But you know, we're out every night. We write it, we perform it, we get drunk, we do drugs, fat chicks. I mean, you can, the list goes on. Just machete swipes through a jungle.

That is comedy. We are warriors. Holy shit shit now uh you know what we really we really do i think we have to drink people give a shit but then i was telling a friend recently like man might be drinking too much and he goes yeah but you guys work hard that's true that's true you gotta if you're like a you know If you're a stock trader, you hit happy hour, don't you? Good point. Yeah. Work hard, play hard.

And a big part of our job is humiliation. That's just part of it. You bomb a joke, it stings, it hurts, you're doing badly, the crowd's not laughing. So we got to cut that edge somehow. Big part of our job. Also a big part of our hotel room afterwards. Yes. You got that right.

Yeah. Blue Chew, hook us up. I still haven't tried it. I want to try it. Oh, man. our job also a big part of our hotel room afterwards yes you got that right yeah blue chew hook us up i still haven't tried it i want to oh man i got a girlfriend and i do it for fun you gotta try it man i'm scared because i was talking to our boy anthony devito and he told me that he took a viagra and he was hard for like 48 hours wow the whole movie i mean i'm like man you have some weird racist fetishes here anthony this is crazy nick nolte yeah nolte was the man that was you re-watched that one and you're like there's a lot of racism in 80s movies that one is still you're like damn even even for the even for an 80s cop yeah yeah the last glimmer of that was in uh die hard three where

he has the i hate n words in harlem remember that yeah even as a kid i was like this is a little heavy i know but it was a different time that was pretty insane yeah that was 48 hours was a good movie though if you oh yeah and i like die hard three too but if you re-watch it some of them like that whole scene i could be wrong but that whole scene in die hard 3 when bruce willis and samuel jackson figure out like there's a bomb gonna go off and they had to figure out how to get the amount of water it's like a puzzle this is really annoying i don't think that made sense i think they like pushed it together at the last minute like yeah we do this and we do that and like that didn't work yeah. And how much time do these

criminals have on their hands? Like, we need a puzzle. We gotta create a riddle. No, they just want money. They're just trying to steal stuff. I never got that. By the way, kind of a fun fact about white people. If you had a I hate honky sign in the middle of the burbs, I don't think

we would do much about it. Depends which suburb. We're talking like Columbia, South Carolina. the middle of the burbs i don't think we would do much about it we'd probably which depends which suburb we're talking like columbia south carolina that might be an issue that's a good point yeah depends on the suburb yeah yeah but if it was like if it was a liberal suburb they'd be like right on white family be like absolutely that's a good point yeah yeah and they'd get next to him and make one themselves it's like i'm with him with a finger. Remember, I'm with stupid, whatever happened to that shirt? I think it was one of those shirts that wasn't funny.

Yeah. And it maybe stuck around because it was like, well, this isn't funny, but I'll wear it as a joke. Yes. It got a second bump maybe ironically. Right, right. I went on eBay a couple years ago and bought the finger pointing down and it said legend. Did you really? Yeah.

I never wore it, but I bought it. Legend. Yeah. And I don't even have a big dick. I just thought it was such a ridiculous shirt. Is it one that said the man the legend or just legend? Oh, it might be the man the legend. Yeah, it might be man legend.

Interesting. But it's still in the package. It's funny. Who's buying those shirts? They must do well because they sell well on Bourbon Street or Times Square. Yes. Well, it's the non-funny guy gets it and the funny guy gets it. So it's a pretty good ploy.

One guy's ironic and one guy's sincere. I'm from New York, you fucking fuck. Yeah, that's another one. I'm from New York City. Duck, motherfucker. I wonder if anyone's ever been shot in the head while wearing that shirt oh that'd be a viral clip that would be pretty good inspector was a big one for a minute fbi federal yeah a female body inspector body

inspector yeah my uncle had one of those that's such an uncle shirt it really is you know fisherman guy uh has a, the whole thing. Yeah. I'm gonna guess your uncle is unmarried? No, no, no. He's married? I mean, it's Louisiana, so it's... True. He's like the mayor. Yeah, you don't have any... Do you have southern relatives?

No. All, uh... We got Long Island. I have some Israeli. Oh, wow. Never been to Israel. Yeah, I'd love to go. I'd love to go. That'd be a fun gig.

Oh, man. I mean, I hear the city is beautiful. I hear the food's great. The women are beautiful. I hear the food is on another level. I would love to those beaches. I mean, it's no wonder the Palestinians get a little peeved because they just got sand and Jerusalem is like Tel Aviv.

It's like New York. I was thinking about this. They can't agree on land. They can't agree on food because they have similar menus, the Palestinians and the Israelis. That's true, hummus and grape leaves and falafel. Who started it? Yeah.

I'm sure we could figure this out with a simple Google search. Yeah. But who started, like, shawarma? Who claims shwarma? I would assume it's Palestine because they were there first, and it might be something with the climate and the geography, what grows there. Because Jews were given that area, right?

This is not a historical show, guys. No, no, no. Oh, boy. Let's see. Harry, are you on this? Give it a goog. Let's see what we got. All right.

Well, isn't that the whole beef that, hey, this is ours and just because they gave it to you, it's still technically ours and you're on our turf? You should know this. This is your aunt we're talking about. Call in if you know somebody right now is yelling at the TV in Hebrew.

Who started it? Who started it? Who started it? That's a funny way to see who started it. Who's in a war? I'm getting Persian. Persian. A third runner's entered the race. Good rugs.

Persian rugs. It's weird how places are known for one thing. That's true. Brazilians. We all think of the crotch. Persian rugs. That's really... It's weird how places are known for one thing. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Brazilians. Wax. We all think of the crotch.

Yeah, interesting. They've got more to offer. Yeah, they got great steaks and stuff. Great steaks. Yeah, dancing, Mardi Gras, like Carnaval is Brazilian. They're great at spreading COVID. Yeah. They're the best.

Yeah. No one is better than Brazilians at spreading COVID. Florida's on the rise, but yeah, yeah. And Wuhan might be third. Wuhan. But yeah. It's Brazil, Wuhan, and Orthodox Jewish weddings. That's really, those are like the hot spots. Yeah, that's a good

point. Those Jews, I mean, I told you I was on a flight and it was like fucking Orthodox temple and every mass was down here. And I was loving watching it because the stewardess of the flight attendant was like sir please oh yeah i'm gonna get shit from this podcast for sitting with a gentile who goes those jews i'm gonna get shit for that yeah yeah well people think you're jewish i know which is i take as a compliment it is a compliment it's like when

someone calls you gay and you're like yeah it, it's not. That's a great point. Have you seen gay guys? They're ripped. They got fashion. Yeah. They're groomed. Very well groomed. Yeah.

And gay guys get it. Like, they could clean up with the ladies. They really could. Oh, yeah. You ever see, like, a gay guy just reach for, like, a woman's breast and you're like, come on, dude. That's not fair. Oh, that's a mean trick. It's not fair. Yeah. I don't even like when babies do it. You know, they're grabbing at your mom's tit. You're like, come on, that's not fair That's a mean trick It's not fair

Yeah, I don't even like when babies do it You know, they're grabbing at your mom's tit You're like, hey, hey, I know you're two months But get your hand off of that nip It kind of feels like a waiter Just walking over and taking a bite And you're like, I was gonna try Right, right, I have to have some charm and finesse

Or buy a meal I have to pay for it Yeah, you fucking cuomo cuomo's hanging in there yeah yeah yeah i'm starting it's at the point where i am starting to i don't like him but it's he's scoring some points with me just here's here's what happened i think we might have talked we here's the problem with this podcast we drink every week so we don't remember what we talked about um i know i'm trying to pace too because it's i can put this down and it's really two gulps yeah um but yeah he's hanging in there oh yeah oh yeah and and i will

say in his defense like the first two you're like oh that's bad you're groping you're touching you're kissing uh without consent but then after the ninth one, it was like, he said hi to me while I was on a phone call and I didn't appreciate it. Like, come on, these are getting a little too, the waters are getting muddy here. Yeah, he asked me if I had any weekend plans. Like, that could have been like a small talk.

I don't know. No, he is a bad guy. It's funny, I was talking to a woman recently who was like, I think he's so hot. What? Yeah. Get out of town. I mean, serial killers have fans.

That's true. Man, women are fucking kooky. You can't put a stamp on women because they're all so different. Women are kooky. Well, they're so broad and vast. You sound like a 70-year-old road comic. You ladies are real kooky. I'll tell you that.

Well, pull me off with a cane when I'm done. But yeah, it's just fascinating. You watch the Richard Ramirez doc, and they're in the jury. I'm like, this guy murdered 28 people and shot a guy in the face and all this shit. That guy, Night Stalker. Night Stalker. Great name. That guy.

They get the coolest names. They're like Marvel heroes. I know. It's bullshit. Yeah. They're doing their own PR. It's crazy. I pay for PR. I can't get shit coolest names. They're like Marvel heroes. I know. It's bullshit. Yeah. They really, like, they're doing their own PR. It's crazy. I know.

I pay for PR. I can't get shit like that. Yeah, Sunnyside Killer. Is that one of them? Or the Sun, oh, what's the one in California? Sunset? Oh, the East Area Rapist? East Area Rapist.

That's not a good one, though, really. Not a great one. That's just a location in Rapist. That's not that good. That's true. Yeah, horrible real estate. What's that one, Harry, with the... Sunset Strip Killer?

No, I've never even heard of that one. That sounds like a good comic. Sunset Strip Killer? Golden State Killer! I mean, that's pretty badass. That does sound badass. It's like the Shang Wang story or something. It's just like a funny... He's from SF. Right, right. Yeah, exactly. Oh boy, Shang Wang. Great comic. a shang wang story or something just like a funny oh he's from sf right right yeah shang wang great

comic oh yeah yeah yeah um dude he's got he's got some of the best jokes he has a joke about you know asian guy he's right he's taking his bicycle and uh someone yells at him ching chong motherfucker and he goes my name is shang wang yeah you're gonna have to come at me a little harder than that dude that's a great joke great joke he's a beast underrated i love him i think he's got a half hour on comedy yeah he's got albums and stuff he's a b he opened for ali wong and stuff oh perfect but he's all over he's a great comic real real comic to the bone too because uh one time we were talking he's like i got a gig to write on um off the boat yeah and he's like should i just keep opening for ali or do do that? And I was like, I don't know,

that's pretty good money and he turned it down to keep opening. Yeah. Respect. Respect. And I mean, who's really watching off the boat?

I think it's pretty big. Oh, is it? Oh, really? Are you kidding? Isn't it huge? Sitcoms are done, I feel like, for real.

TV went drama. Like, the drama killed it. Breaking Bad and Mad Men and Sopranos and all that. And the comedy went to hell. There's good comedy, but it's just hard. Like, I mean,

I guess when's the last, do you even watch comedy anymore though? I do. I'm a, I'm a nerd, but like new comedy. I mean, like a new comedy sitcoms.

Are you talking about standup? New comp, new sitcoms. No, that's my point. There's, I think there's still good comedy out there it's just harder it's harder to get made i know but i don't feel like i hear it purely you

gotta watch this documentary you gotta watch this new show on netflix or whatever hbo but i don't hear anybody going this sitcom is killer like peep show was the last funny show that i was recommended and i enjoyed it but that's 10 years old yeah it's incredible it's incredible i fell in love with it it's it's maybe it's probably top five comedies for me. It's the development. Those guys are such, those guys, like they really nailed it. They're such those characters and you feel like you know them. I mean, it's so good.

I really wanted to make a version of that with me and Mackie, like an Americanized version of it. Because Mackie is that dude. Yeah. Joe Mackie is Mark. Right. He totally is he knows history he's a square he's a square yeah and he's got the big eyes and like everything's

that's exact same tucks the shirt in for some reason I love Matt yeah dude it's hard to find a good comedy you're right I mean dramas are and docs are kind of where it's at now docs are great again authenticity people want the real shit now we we had that reality tv horse shit they do and they don't though don't you i mean don't you long for script i mean i reality is horse shit but i long for great scripted television i do comedies they are hard to make succession is kind of a comedy though i love succession that's kind of a comedy you're wrecked yeah it's got hilarious moments, but that's like Shakespearean. It's a dark comedy. Yeah, I feel like that's everything.

That's one of those like dramedies. It's got everything you need, love and all that shit. But you're right. Game of Thrones was a huge show, and the biggest movie in the country right now is Godzilla. Who gives a fuck? We need an escape. Who gives a fuck about Godzilla versus King Kong? I've never cared less about a thing.

I'm so with you. I don't like Marvel. I don't like any of that shit. I don't like Godzilla. You're losing brain cells watching that more quickly than we are drinking that shit. That's true. You're like, I want to be dumber and watch this shit. I'm not even a snob, but I'm like, can we get some good shit?

I get nothing out of that. There's no relatability. There's no human in this. even a snob but i'm like like can we can we get some good shit i get nothing out of that there's no relatability there's no human in this it's just screaming animals breathing fire stepping on buildings at some point nostalgia becomes like an issue for me or at some point like we're taking it too far the other godzilla movie from the 90s with matthew broderick fucking blue oh yeah i never got hated all of it i don't like any of that shit but this is what the public wants yeah now where do you stand on kung fu because it's good i like it i never liked kung fu because i feel it's the same to me it's just like i need some development i need some humanity

i need some feelings some vibes some something i like the classics i mean bruce lee was the shit i mean i like like i like yeah well enter the's a classic. I liked, for a while, if you see him in the theater, like, Ong Bak and shit like that, those were cool movies, I thought, but I... Yeah, I mean, you're seeing them for the stunts, I guess. It's not my cup of tea, but I can appreciate it. Alright, I guess I

like good... We like writing, we like dialogue, like a Woody Allen or something like that, but, you know, I'm a cunt. I don't care about an explosion. It does nothing for me yeah i don't know no you're right i mean it's tough i mean woody's kind of gone so it's like i mean i was listening to george gershwin the other day i'm like is this allowed am i allowed to listen to the opening song from manhattan yeah yeah it's tough there's got to be a place in hell with some great entertainment you know so good oh yeah and then like when r kelly goes doing two hours at the club tonight Yeah, it's tough. There's got to be a place in hell with some great entertainment. So good.

Oh, yeah. And then when R. Kelly goes there. Cosby's doing two hours at the club tonight. You've got to see Cosby's new shit. Right. He addresses it. He addresses it. That's great.

Yeah, that's going to be gold in hell. Hell's got good entertainment. Yeah, then Harvey will be down there. He'll be producing. It's going to be gold in hell. Hell's got good entertainment. Yeah, then Harvey will be down there. He'll be producing. It's going to be amazing. Like, fuck, once we get Tarantino down here, the movies are going to be incredible. Yeah, the only problem is now they got Madoff,

and he's taking all their fucking money in hell. Fucking Madoff. He went out, man. 82. It's weird. So I was reading about it, and his wife, Ruth wife ruth i think got 2.5 million out of out of like he returned well i mean oh she's lucky she got two points yeah it was uh 18 billion dollar or something i could be the numbers wrong there's something like that yeah the most in history the

most in history he fucking ruined ellie waz fucking ruined Elie Wiesel, the writers. Really? This guy survived the Holocaust, and then he gets fucked over by his own people. Whoa. Bernie Madoff fucks him out of $15.2 million from his charity and his life savings. You're like, man, that's got to be, like, you finally regained your faith in humanity. And then you're like, I'll trust this nice, kindly Jewish fellow. Damn. Wow. Horrible. And then. Jew on Jew crime'll trust this nice, kindly Jewish fellow. Damn. Wrong. Wow. Horrible.

And then. Jew on Jew crime. Jew on Jew crime, man. Madoff, now that with Madoff gone, Weinstein's probably the worst Jew. Yeah, I guess you're right. He's probably the guy. Epstein's gone. Epstein's gone. You're right.

But, you know, Weinstein, I don't think he has long. He's already blind. I know. He's really rotting away. He's not looking good. Not that he ever looked good, but he looks like hell. But,'s really rotting away yeah he's not looking good not that he ever looked good but he looks like hell but yeah you're right that's so crazy the most in history but i mean he is the michael jordan of of swindling yeah he's the mj for sure oh yeah he's the greatest of all time greatest being terrible i mean yeah it's an insane amount of

money and then he got big people with it oh yeah kevin bacon spielberg oh yeah yeah some say the biggest i mean he got the smartest and most famous and biggest whales and almost got away with it he had a minute there for a second he got fucked because of the financial crisis is that what did it i think that's what did it because he was floating under the radar and then also i think once the financial crisis hit, people were like, no, we need our money back. And he was like, ooh, this is awkward. Whoa. I've lost all of it.

Oh, wow. See, the way he gets you is he's so smart because it's all ego. Because Kevin Bacon goes, who's his roster? I got to get in with this guy. And then they go, I want to be in the club. And then he gets that guy. And then he gets Spielberg. And then he gets the next guy. And's all ego he's a genius yeah i mean he really he

really got away with it for a long time now his wife is like this she's living in some weird it's funny i was reading this it was like classic new york post like i got to read the new york post articles but i was reading about her and she's you know in some weird kind of upscale town she got a lot of money out of it but not enough to be you know she lost she's in some weird kind of upscale town. She got a lot of money out of it, but not enough to be, she's miserable. She lost both her kids. One commits suicide.

The other died of cancer. Whoa. It's a terrible situation she's in. Just like MJ, though. If you're going to make it to the top, you're going to have to ruin some relationships. You're really pushing this Michael Jordan comparison here. I'm just saying.

It's all the greats. Their family hates them. I think MJ's kids like him better than Madoff's who are fucking if they're hanging in hell right now. No, I think at the end she has to make a choice where it was if you visit dad in prison, we're

not talking to you. Right. So I think she had to stop. Wow. Well, you think 82, which is not that old in 2021 standards. I think that stress just got him. That's got to wear on a guy. I remember reading an article years ago about Madoff in prison.

And we talk about in prison, if you're a child molester, you're fucking dead. Yeah. But if you're Madoff, people are like, how did you do it? Oh, yeah. So you're popular in prison. Definitely. You know, we should have done is like a Frank Abagnale thing. He was the catch me if you can guy.

The FBI said, okay, this guy is a cunt, but he's useful. Let's have him find bunk checks. And he worked for the FBI for years. So why can't we use Madoff? I mean, he's dead, but we could have used him to fuck over China. Like we owe China 18 trillion or whatever, eight zillion trillion billion dollars like what if he did some numbers hey uh china how about this this and this and i'll get you a yacht

and the the hamptons i don't know he's in a meeting with china they're like where have we heard your name before this is something we don't trust about this name the name too it's just one of those gifts in the comedy world like anthony wiener's another one it's just too good made off it's too perfect it's like if you saw that in a movie you'd be like all right all right little on the nose by the way do you see the movie no it looks so bad they're making a made-off movie it's uh deniro and michelle pfeiffer plays a wife but it's like one of the things by the way it is weird how they're like you can't play other groups but De Niro once you become old you can play a Jew De Niro's playing a Jew yeah good point I know I never got the group stuff by the way also Pacino is doing like an old he's doing like a black voice and most of his old movies like son of a woman to

like excuse me I don't believe I will what was that that's not is? Right, right. Yeah, no, it's trans, but like Elliot Page, can she play a lady again? I don't get any of the rules. I wonder. That's why I don't think a lot of this is going to stick and hold up. I mean, how many roles are there? I don't know how much more she's going to act. How many roles are there for trans people? I mean, it just went to Frances McDormand, right?

Isn't that Nomadland? Isn't she trans in that? Oh, is she? I don't know. I haven't seen it. I could be making this up. I heard it was boring. I heard it was boring, too.

A lot of the best pictures, they look boring to me. They're boring and sad. There's not one. A lot of sad. A lot of sad. Sad is in. That's why Godzilla's working

because it's just like, oh, I can't see a lady in a fucking trailer in the desert. Give me a fucking lizard with a tail. Yeah, that's the way. That's why the Hollywood, they're such queefs. I hate them. They are queefs.

Because they're just like, oh, this is what's in? Yeah, but I don't know. Go back to the ticket sales thing. Let's go with what's what. The Lucas Brothers movie was really good. That was really good, yeah. Black Judas and the Black Messiah was really good. Yeah, and not as sad as the rest,

even though the head of the Black Panthers dies. It's sad, but it's also, it's got like a departed type vibe. It's kind of thrilling also, even though it's sad. But yeah, I don't know. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, Elliot Page. Oh yeah, playing other,

it's interesting where the line is, because I don't know. I'm kind of just, because I remember watching Son of a Woman as a kid and being shocked at Pacino's voice, being is that allowed to do that yeah i'm like that's not a white guy's voice interesting like are you quite finished i'm just getting warmed up like what is this great movie too it's so cheesy though i was it's like a 90s really it's like a 90s picture it's so yeah philip seymour hoff right right but was it's like a 90s really it's like a 90s picture so yeah philip seymour hoff right

right but dude it's fucking cheesy it is cheesy but what about uh robert downey jr in tropic thunder that has just been pushed aside he's like i also think comedy that it should be the goalpost should be different for comedy i agree as well because this is not made in sincerity this is made as a satire he was sat he's satirizing an actor who will do anything right like that are we not allowed to make satire anymore i yeah well that's the scary part is i don't know if we are but i saw that movie in the theater with a black guy and he was like that was unbelievable he was it wasn't even funny to him he was like i've never seen a white guy do a black guy that perfectly

that accurately with that much precision he was blown away that's hilarious i know and i was like hell yeah all right that's the ultimate compliment that is yeah oh oh let's we got a we got a big old uh ad from fanny coming at you oh wait hold on hold on easy hold on. Easy. Googly. Upstart. That's the name of it. Oh, God, now I don't see it, and I'm freaking out. Oh, there it is. All right, here it comes, folks. Should I do this too?

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Gotta throw in this disclaimer here guys Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income And certain other information Provided in your loan application And now go to upstart.com Slash drunk Mmm, mmm, mmm That is some good ass bourbon, isn't it?

This is top notch. This is solid stuff. And we're not getting paid to say this one. So Rowan's Creek. I've never heard of it and I'm a fan. I'm a new subscriber. Rowan, get in touch with us. We got to do some business.

Please. I don't know if you guys remember from recently, Mark and I are going to make our own damn bourbon. Yes. Or rye. We haven't decided yet, but we're in the process of making our own drink. Yeah, this is probably, we haven't done it yet, but if we pull this off, this will be

the most impressive thing I've ever done. Really? Oh, yeah. I mean, anybody can write a joke, but selling a liquor? You've done a lot of stuff. If I have my own liquor on my shelf i'm gonna jerk off looking at the label i mean that is just i'm gonna tell my dad i'm gonna i'm gonna post about it i can't wait i just something about having your own it feels like such a successful masculine interesting

thing to have it is exciting yeah i'm excited about it man we're up there with clooney and hagar and ron White and the other guy. You know? Hagar. All the top gentlemen. That really went downhill quickly. Hey, he's doing pretty good. What was he, Van Halen?

I don't fucking know. One of those. He was one of those. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think it was Van Halen. All right. I'm thinking I killed myself if I'm wrong. Harry? It's Van Halen or the other one i think it's van halen it's gotta be i don't know

i don't know music well dude i i yeah it's funny how uh bad 80s music was but it was so hip that like those guys van halen thank god arenas thank god yeah i don't know guns and roses they were pretty good that's 90s, though. Is it? Yeah, it's like early 90s. Oh, okay. Yeah, Guns N' Roses were the shit. I loved Guns N' Roses, man.

I know. You know what's, I think I told you this already, but from 2021 to 1991 is the same distance it is from 1991 to 1961. Isn't that insane? You're blown away by time. I'm blown away by time! It's like that Hannibal joke. Yeah, you gotta take it one day at a time.

He's like, yeah, that's how time works. Great joke. That's a great joke, man. Dude, we haven't even done a peeve yet. We're just rolling. Oh, yeah. We're just rolling. We're rolling. Well, this is a liquid podcast.

This just keeps you going. It is. Oh, I heard a great joke. I had to tell you I heard this joke. Please, please. I was scrolling through YouTube, and I was on a British comic, and he said he was talking to his wife, and she goes, you know, a woman's work is never done. And he goes, yeah, I guess that's why you get paid less.

Wow. That was right there for everybody. I forgot his name. He's just some British nerdy guy in a suit. That's a great joke. He had a couple of brilliant lines, yeah. I love a good joke I've never heard. Damn, that's good.

That's good. And it got the biggest reaction, and they cut to some women, and they were like, you know, because it's a zing, but not a zing. He's saying you get paid less, but he also kind of twisted it on you. It's really. That's really funny. As Ricky Gervais would say, there's like a novel in that book. I mean, in that joke.

Damn, that's great. There's so much behind it, yeah. That's a great joke. Great joke. That was right there for everybody. I hate when I, yeah. Those are, I mean, those are the best jokes. Those are the best jokes.

When you're like, how has that not been done? Yes, because everybody's like, oh, this happened to me, or I heard a story about this. But to have a joke that was sitting there. That was there for the taking. I know, and Tell's got a bunch of those. Oh, my God. The most.

Probably the most, yeah. The best drinking jokes ever, probably. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to think of one. Oh, I mean the fucking, the Jaeger ads. There's a guy, let's call him me. Yeah. He's fucking the left eye of a pumpkin.

If he didn't want it, why was he smiling at me? Oh, man. That's great. There's so many lines and it's like lyrical. That joke is like, there's like a musical element to that joke. Definitely. What about the, I used to do drugs, but that was way over there. That's like, I didn't know you could tell a a joke that's like a whole new format to me yeah he's the best uh wait oh oh yeah all right and

there's a hedberg one that everyone fucking rips off on on uh tiktok or whatever you're on those are just like i used to do drugs i still do but i used to also that joke has been ripped off so much so much yeah that's a great that's the same kind of weird i didn't know you could tell jokes like that format still do but i used it too like oh man how'd you get your brain to twist like that you know i'm heroin that's how it did it good point also a genius but heroin and a guy who struggled like crazy everybody's like hedberg hedberg hedberg but you got to remember this this guy laid on the floor half the time. He bombed his presents.

They had to sweeten it. And yet, that presents blew up. So you never know. You never know. Isn't that funny? That was probably a horrible night for him. Horrible. He bombs a special, and he's like, I'm fucking done.

I'm done. It's a lot of, like Bill Burr said, my career's over after the Philly rant. He's like, I blew it. And then that's what popped him. Wow. Have I the mona lisa story no yeah you told me okay okay i'm so fast last week yeah we drink so we forget one of us will hopefully remember guys sorry if we retell stories yeah oh man uh yeah burr is it's inspiring man you hit that i mean you we've talked about this to death, but the idea that burrow, he says about bombing and obscurity. I know that,

that keeps me going when I'm in, when I'm on a funny bone in the middle of no, in Albany, I'm like, man, that was a great set. I wish somebody could have seen it. No one knows I killed tonight except these people.

Exactly. Yeah. And then it's sad when you almost wish someone videotaped you, you know, you see a guy's phone in the crowd. You're like, hey, dick, put that away. But then after a while, you're like, ah, could have used that. Can someone document that I'm doing well in this rural outskirt place?

Exactly. I'm in a strip mall in the middle of nowhere killing, and nobody knows or cares. Strip mall. Strip mall comedy. Yeah, yeah. And I'm going to go back to my shitty Days In and jerk off and watch the Back to the Future rerun. So funny. So this documentary came out.

I haven't seen it yet. I hear it's great. Jessica Kearson's doc, Hysterical. Oh. It's all about female comedians. But apparently I'm in it. I don't remember this. I heard you were in it too.

I don't remember this. This is years ago, I guess. But I found out because all these doc all these articles i'd be like people like sending me and one of them i remember this now but i played this club years ago in uh seattle and i stayed in you know you know when you stayed in hotels early on and you're like oh this is good and then you look back and you're like i can't believe i stayed there that was dangerous that put me up that happened so much oh yeah i remember i i recommended this uh club and this hotel the female comic marina franklin hilarious she's sure is a is a hotel good i was like oh it's a great hotel really good and then she gets there she's like

she called me this is not okay so you stayed here and then i i remember like oh yeah a heroin addict did pass out against the window yeah it was like a motel style thing. This is how fucking beaten down I was. I was like, this is good. Yeah. There's a hotel. Right. And it was next to like a pancake house.

I was like, there's food nearby. Yeah. It's so true. But I don't have to cross a highway to get the food. Yeah. Well, we came from such a shitty, you know, open mics and broke in New York. Like, I remember one time I opened for a Schumer at Gotham, and this is when she was, like, starting to really pop. And it was sold out.

It was a big deal. And I texted her, and I go, hey, there's free pizza in the green room. Like, they put a free box of pizza. And she wrote, I'm making 50 grand this weekend. And I was like, oh, shit. I felt like such a loser. That's so funny. Yeah.

But in my mind, I was like, what a score. Yeah. It's hard. I still look at free food, and I like oh cool but i also oh yeah i also look back at some of those hotels i'm like yeah i shouldn't have but some of those clubs they also believe that that you deserve that treatment right where they would be like who are you yeah exactly and they'd act they'd call you a diva if you asked not to. I remember I went back to that same club and I was like, I don't want to stay in that hotel again once I realize it. And they just wrote to my agents, PASS in all caps. And I was like, all right, if that's how they want to play it, that's cool. And then the next day they were like, no, you can come.

I was like, we'll bring him back. And I was like, I can't believe this business. Well, look, I love the club Sidesplitters, a great club in Tampa One of the best clubs in the country probably I'll be there in June, I think Oh, there you go, that's gonna be fucking great Floor it in the summertime 120% capacity

Yeah, they're adding chairs Yeah, no mask on the door It says no mask You get thrown out if you wear one See someone wearing a mask going to the bathroom, what you doing yeah well clan hood is fine but um but how many years i've done that club six years in a row five years in a row whatever it is i didn't get to get out of the condo until maybe the fourth year same so yeah you just gotta do it a couple times as an opener too i remember yeah yeah with the headliner yeah and they weren't happy about it no the worst is when you headlined

and you showed up because we're flying from new york and it was some local guy and he got the good room because he got there an hour before you i remember on my birthday one year and i was angry about it he took the good room and i gave him shit about it he apologized it was funny all right all right i end up becoming buddies with the guy too oh great yeah how sad is that you took the good room and I gave him shit about it and he apologized. It was funny. Oh, all right, all right. I ended up becoming buddies with the guy too. Oh, great. Yeah. How sad is that? You took the good room in the Tampa condo.

I know, I know. You took the slightly less shitty room. It was awful. Yeah. But that club is great. It's a great room. Great room. It's like a magical room.

There's a 6 p.m. show on Saturday, and somehow that's the best show. Somehow it's good. Yeah. Killer. Yeah, it's something about that room. I remember I did a show once, and Chris Jericho, the wrestler, was there. Wow. And I was opening, and he was really nice.

He was hammered. Yeah. To the point that he had a roar of laughter. To the point that I was scared. I'm like, am I going to get heckled by Chris Jericho? Yeah. This is noticeably loud. Right. they end up being like the nicest guy Florida has the weird it's like Hulk Hogan lives in Tampa you know and they have all the

Scientologist shit there all the wrestlers yeah it's the weirdest wrestlers porn stars and your grandma yeah yeah exactly it's a weird place but I kind of love the city. It's weirdly odd and charming. I mean, that club also just is so good. Yeah. Comedy, man. All right, I'm going to read a peeve. Here, give me just a kiss. A kiss.

Just a smooch. Give me a little kiss on your dick, buddy. Perfect. Right on the hole. All right. Here we go. I'm going to give you a peeve, and my peeve sucks. All right. But I'm still give you a peeve, and my peeve sucks Alright

But I'm still gonna give it to you So this happened to me the other night And it's happened to me before You come home from the airport I did a long weekend in Texas The flight's at fucking 6am You get up at 5, you go to the airport You finally get to JFK

I get in the Uber And then the Uber brings you to my door. Yeah. But you go, okay. He's pulling up to the door. And you go, all right. It's right there. That's the door.

And he keeps pulling up. And I go, no, no. That's it. Right there. Oh, you passed it. You passed. And he keeps going. I'm like, stop.

Stop. And he's like, uh-oh. And he pulled up to the light and did a turn. And I'm like, you could have just stopped there. You ever had that where they just won't stop? You sound so frantic to me. Stop. Rape. Rape. Yeah, fire. No, I'm like you could have just stopped there you ever had that where they just won't stop you sound so frantic to me here stop rape rape yeah fire no i'm with you uh i hate that shit i i hate yeah i just want to like it's when you have minuscule it's minuscule but yeah but that's what we talk about these are first world complaints because we live in the first world mark

yes you know like yeah i complain about that shit, but you're tired. You've been traveling all day. Right. You got a rolly bag. You got your backpack. Yes. You're lugging more shit. You're like, dude, I'm paying you.

Just please. Yeah, like, why not? When I say that door, they just keep going, and they're like, oh, oh, okay, okay, right here. And you're like, no, no, no. I said that two blocks back. I fucking had it with Ubers, too. I'm anti-Uber.

I'm yellow cab for life, dog Really? I've been yellow cab Yeah, you are yellow Fuck Ubers You have a bit about it Yeah, I love them Yeah

I've always been Yellow cabs, yeah, you drop I like a world with no ratings Ooh The rating is in the tip I just don't Yeah, exactly But also

Every once in a while Interesting Shit should suck a little bit hey i'm with you on that yeah yeah we want everything perfect yeah i don't like the i don't like the ubers man you know they also jacked up the prices on us i knew they do they really did they were like we're gonna we're the cheap guys we're the nice guys we're the we're just coming to town you're like all right well you're destroying you've destroyed the yellow cab community the medallion is now worthless.

That's their retirement. You killed a fucking entire. How long have yellow cabs been around? Watch a movie from the 60s. We got yellow cabs. These people are fucked now. Yeah, that's true. These were our people.

They were part of a city. We should have protected them in New York. There's a Scorsese movie about it. There's no Scorsese Uber. Uber driver. Uber driver. With Sybil Shepard. He just wants to bang a 75-year-old woman like wow he is tormented he is right it's al pacino playing an indian guy

for some reason he's just an armenian uber driver taxi driver yeah that's true there's no uber driver movie no yeah taxis there i mean the yellow cab is a staple. It's like an iconic image of New York. It's New York. We're in a rush. Boom. I'm in. You don't fucking take out an app. Here he's coming. Five minutes. No. You go out. You wave. You fucking get in. I'll tell you another thing is they're

screwing you on the time. Not only did the prices go up, but the time went up. You go, oh, three minutes. We'll be here in three minutes. And then three minutes turns into four. And then it turns into into six and then it goes back down to two and then it goes to four and you're like just give me a time it's like someone who doesn't know how to tell a story right i thought we were fucking wrapping this up right exactly that's a great great analogy it's so true it's i was always yellow cab i like the idea i just like the idea of like i have a bit about this how it felt like a idea. I just like the idea of like,

I have a bit about this, how it felt like a marriage. And I, and like, and, and you feel it's like a single relationship. LA Ubers are the worst though. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Cause that's everything out there. We have at least the yellow cab alternative. They're all Uber. Yeah. Yeah. I always rent a car in LA. That's like, Oh,

I wish I could drive. I can teach. That'd be a great episode. We'll drink and drive we get pulled over it's for a podcast look at the cameras it's for a podcast yeah is that a carpool karaoke we do maybe we get a crew that's pretty good we should yeah us singing yeah that's pretty just bob seger full blast and we're driving apart we'll do it in the park upstart.com you know we're doing the ads yeah you just blown into a breathalyzer like a rock oh yeah that's not bad i can teach you to drive. Could be fun. I got a license, but I'm trash. How did you pass?

I fucking sweet talked the driver, dude. There you go. I failed twice, and the third time, I was like, please don't fail me. I've failed twice. And she laughed when I said it, and I'm like, ooh, I think I'm in. Oh, man. And I definitely was not great, but I got in. That is the most New York thing of all time, is failing a driver's test, but sweet talking your way in. I was like, listen, Toots, I got in. That is the most New York thing of all time is failing a driver's test but sweet

talking your way in. Listen, Toots, I need this. I got two tickets to Hamilton. You think it was that recent? Jesus Christ. Oh yeah, good point. I got two tickets to fucking Tommy on Broadway. Oh wow. Maybe Book of Mormon era. Book of Mormon maybe.

Never saw it. Never saw it either. We should see it, man. Well, my parents loved it and I was Mormon, maybe. Never saw it. Never saw it either. We should see it, man. Well, my parents loved it, and I was like, eh. Dude, it's fucking Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Yeah, they're geniuses. They're geniuses. South Park movies, top five movies ever. Oh, dude. For me.

We talk about comedies, it's top five. Harry, it's top five, right? Yeah, yeah. Top five. What about Team America? That wasn't bad either. Great, but bigger, longer, and uncut, man. Yeah, that's true. I. Great, but bigger, longer, and uncut, man. Yeah, that's true.

I love it, but bigger, longer, and uncut's on another level. They are like an old kind of relic of what comedy used to be, just like balls to the wall, crazy shit, a kid's dying, the sex jokes, there's a poop guy. They're uncancellable. Yeah, they really are. They're too good. I mean, shit.

Yeah, they were like two of the only people I'd be scared to meet because I like them so much True That I'm scared they're just like I don't like you or something Yeah Dude I love people shit on basketball I love basketball I love that movie

That's an underrated comedy David Zucker Little bitch Little bitch movie love that's an underrated comedy david zucker yeah little bitch little bit squeak little bitch scolari if you rip me 13 to 14 more times i'm out of here man it's gold it's that it's i call it the simpsons theory the dumb people like it and the smart people like it and that's the ultimate kind of comedy like simpsons yes it's a fat guy falling and he's eating donuts it's funny but the jokes are so well written so subtle it's it's the way you want to be like brian regan is like that you know it's just dumb people love brian regan because he's funny and goofy but the writing is

good too all right this leads well into my rack and i hit my rack hit me wait i never heard your peeve though did i let me do a peeve okay okay uh first off i did a show okay i did a show last night this is a comedy peeve but it's a peeve nonetheless just garbage people man okay so i'm doing a show in shiva's room in midtown and it's a good setup i like the room it's solid it's cool and shiva's so freaking nice very nice like so cool about it i go up and this woman just ordering food so loud with her boyfriend to the point that I'm like, hey, I politely say, hey, do you just mind? It's very loud, which I hate that I have to even say.

It's so disrespectful. And then I realized once you're saying this, you have no respect in the room. So I know if it doesn't stop, I got to get off. And I never walk off stage, but it's got a point now where I'm like, if I don't see that I can win, I'm just not doing it. I'm there to work on new jokes.

So if there's no way that this is going to work, why am I doing it? Yeah, that makes sense. So I give it a few more jokes. Now she's talking louder to mock me. And no one's doing anything. And the crowd's annoyed. I can tell they're annoyed. And I say, hey, cut it out.

I'm being nice about this. And she goes, yeah, I'm going to order food. So how about that? I was like, who raised you? I know. What kind of human being are you? I know. You know, like, this is our dream.

This is like, we love this. And you're fucking with our dream. Well, not just that. You showed up. This is what it is. This is what it is. So you have to comply or get out garbage person so i just say you know what uh it's not really the right night for me so i gave it a few minutes and i was like i'm gonna get off and people were like no don't get off and i was like no i'm gonna get off get off and i see

tom mccaffrey our friend there and he goes yeah you made the right choice that wasn't gonna get better that was horrible the crowd starts booing them our Our boy Chris Murphy, Chris Murphy, who I love, old school, was there one night when I got spat on on stage. Wow. I'm seeing a trend here. Yeah.

This guy's bad luck. That's the trend. No, but I get off. I was a kid when I got spat on. But I get off, and he was like, the crowd starts booing these two people. I was like,

oh good. Yeah. I didn't think I had, you know, earned enough goodwill on stage. That's great. I love that.

Because we're not, we're spoiled on the road. Sure. On the road, it's like, a lot of those people were there for us. We're the name on the thing.

When you're on a bar show, there's like 10 comics. Yeah. You know? There's no trust. No trust. We haven't, we haven't earned

the respect on stage. But also, if I don't have respect, I can't perform. Of course. You know? So I'm not a fucking substitute teacher, I'm a stand up comic. Yeah.

So they start booing them and they get kicked out. Oh great. And then I'm like, all right, I'm going back up. So I go back up and they were good. Oh. I had to open with how great would it be if I fucking bombed now? Wow, that's a happy ending, which is happy ending that is great it was uh the good guy

one good guy one yeah but you know uh that's a peeve for sure because i mean how many gigs have you been on where you're the the feature is on and we're on the road and you're like hey you got to keep an eye on this dude he's's throwing fries at the stage or whatever. And they're like, he bought fries. Come on, man. Cause I know they want the fry money, but like, I'm also a human being with feelings and whatnot,

you know, cause they just want the food money. And you're just like a guy. That's a bad club. That's a bad club. The ax. Yeah. No,

I mean, Chris was there when I got spat on. I was a kid and I, you know, Broadway comic clubs work in the door. They throw you up sometimes. I was drinking when that happened, by the way. Were you? No, I'm joking.

That I was the one who spat on you. That was a joke. I didn't make it clear enough. But, yeah. So what happened? What did you say to get spit on? I just was getting heckled, and I was just kind of like, this ain't going to get better.

So I just kind of went at him. He went at me. You try to diffuse it peacefully. He gets up, and I hear, and I'm like, here we go. And nothing good comes after. Nails me in the chest. Whoa!

Yeah, yeah, and then he goes, I'm waiting outside for you. I'm like, oh, boy. Big gentleman? He was scary enough. Yeah, yeah, well. I mean, I'm waiting outside for you. I'm like, oh boy. Big gentleman? He was scary enough. Yeah, yeah. I mean, clearly he's got more. I think I got more to lose if he's standing up this, you know?

So I was just like, yeah, I'm not going to. So I'm there, and you can't get the crowd back at that point. Right. They pity you. Yeah. They just watch you get spat on. Oh, you're killing me. This is so sad.

Brutal, yeah. I remember that night being like, oh, that wasn't good I'm sorry man I watched my dad get spit on once By a bunch of teenagers and it ruined my life For like two weeks It was so traumatizing because he's like my dad He's in a suit, I was a little kid And it was like a racial thing

He's gotta get better at crowd work Yeah, he had some hack stuff And he deserved it It was like a classic New Orleans night spatial thing. He's got to get better at crowd work. Yeah. He had some hack stuff and, you know, he deserved it. But we got it was like a classic New Orleans night. We got off the streetcar and there was like some, you know, teenager hoodlum types and they were making jokes. And he was like, hey, what are you going to do? You know, whatever. And then, you know, he's got a briefcase and a suit on and we get off and they stuck the head out the window and spat on him. He's like, OK, all right. You know, and I was like, i did the right thing i couldn't believe somebody could be that mean to

somebody who they don't know and who i like you know it was crazy yeah it's because you only watch msnbc good point but yeah anyway really let me tell you my recs I feel good about this one I haven't even finished it yet but I'm two episodes down Out of three PBS Hemingway doc Whoa I've never heard of this It just came out, Ken Burns It is insane This is right up my anal

I love PBS doc, I love Hemingway I love it Oh my god, I'm going to watch this tonight It's so you too Because you were talking about The smart people get it the stupid people get it everyone gets it that's hemingway right anyone gets hemingway it's so short those short those succinct sentences he gets it across it is perfect wow and his life is so tragic yeah oh yeah i mean anyone who knows hemingway knows it ends in suicide but like his dad commits suicide right his mom was a bitch right she there's one part where his mom writes

in this long note about she it's this long note to just telling him like you're this after he comes back from the war by the way so he's already fucked up yeah and she writes in this long note you know if relationships were a bank all you would do is withdraw and part of me is like what a bitch the other part is like it's well written though you can see where he gets it you know yeah well done that was eloquent all right mom but yeah it really is incredible and and the affairs and yeah and every marriage like literally just starts fucking a new woman while he's married every time wow and he's like i want to marry you and then his wife would be like i mean you've got kids already he's like i want to be and it's kind of cool to me i mean that's not cool but what's cool to me is that he just kept going back to

these horrible places yeah spain spain during the war and right and he needed that level of excitement the other part of me it blows my mind is how... I think about this a lot as comics. The myth versus the man. I think about that all the time. Because all you hear about is the partying and the cool stuff and the living in Paris and all that, but the hangovers and the sadness and the crying.

Every rise is a crash. It's like a roller coaster. You never really hear about the crash, so when you hear these documentaries, you're like, there it is you get to see it not just that but it fucking ruins you like you hang out you want to hang out with the i i think he felt that he had to become this myth so that fucks him up as a human too like once you become that he was so big wow that it just it you feel like you have to be that guy. Right. And then you lose the charm that people originally fell in love with. Like, everyone hated his first-person stories.

Yes. Because it's more, when there's a little distance in the third person, it's almost like a bit where we take certain liberties to make the bit work. Yes. When it's too much in the first person, it's too much of you. I completely agree. You need a little bit of the middle. Yes.

And I think a lot of comedy is missing that middle. They're just like me, me, me, confession, confession. And you're like, I know, but this won't work in Denver. Like you got to say it's not Brooklyn everywhere. So I completely agree. And that's fascinating. I can't wait to watch. You're going to love it, dude.

Oh, boy. All right. So true about the man and the myth. I had a good run like seven years ago of like a lot of sex, a lot of partying, a lot of comedy, a lot of travel and all that. I'm glad you're not traveling or drinking anymore. Well, but you remember that run I had, but there was a lot of sad nights too. Oh, dude. I know I never told anybody about those, but it's part of it. You told me occasionally, right?

I told you occasionally, but I didn't want to let too much out because I wanted that kind of ethos cooking too i want a little bit of a of a brand going but there was a lot of brand what are you talking about but it's how everything works calling your agent i got a new scoop here i'm working on my brand what's the brand i've been fucking a lot and drinking too much like i don't know i don't have the cells really well i would show up to gigs in the middle of North Carolina and be like, we've heard about you, buddy. Woo-wee! And they'd pull out a daiquiri machine that had dust on it, and I was like, here we go,

baby! And I had to live up to it. And I think I learned real quick that there's a real dark side to it. Look at Madoff. I mean, he was on top of the world at one point. Epstein, on top of the world. You just drank too much. Why are you comparing yourself to Epstein? What the hell is going on? That guy was living the dream for him.

That was his dream and he made it. And then of course the crash. That's gotta be a crash. It's a funny way to describe Epstein though. He's on a sex island with minors like living the dream guys. But it makes you realize can you do it? Can you go to your top and be what you want to be and all that shit

without the downfall? Well, there's a selfishness in what we do. I think of the writers. Hemingway was living in Cuba where there's peace. And he needed the peace to write, but he needed the craziness to be inspired. And I think with stand-ups, we need to be in constant motion. That's why this pandemic's been hell for us. So we need this motion to write,

but then it is a selfish pursuit ultimately. It is hard to have stability at home and we crave stability at home because we're on the road all the time. But we have to be on the road to write. We're not gonna be good if we're not doing the road at this. Totally, totally, 100%. Man, but maybe that's why comics don't, a lot of comics, I don't know, Like, we're not going to be good if we're not doing the road at this. Totally. Totally. A hundred percent. Man.

But maybe that's why comics don't, a lot of comics, I don't know, there's five who keep being great. Most of them, you know, are amazing and have a good album. Second album, solid. Third album, fourth album, shit. Yeah. And you go, what happened there? I think.

They found happiness. They found happiness. Yeah. But you need a balance. You need a think. They found happiness. They found happiness, yeah. But you need a balance. You need a balance. Up and down, up and down. I sometimes find happiness and then I feel like, where's the material? Yeah, yeah.

Which is a really unhealthy outlook. It is. But I do. But the material makes you happy. So it is a balance. The sad shit is happening. Well, you see me if I go through a breakup and you're like, man, I like your new jokes. Yeah, yeah. Right? Like if I see you and you're going through some breakup and you're like, man, I like your new jokes. Yeah, yeah.

Right? Like, if I see you and you're going through some shit, I'm like, man. But I do think we can have it. I do think there is a way to have it all. I just think we haven't found it yet. I think there is. I think there is. Yeah.

It's finding, you want to be up here and you don't want to be down here, but you just got to stay kind of up and down, up and down, up and down in the middle. It's doable. And there's some, because you can't have the sun without the rain or whatever the fuck it is. So you have to have a little bit of sadness. We're trying to have this perfect life and we're trying to live everything perfectly, but that's actually making you sadder.

If everything is a 10, then nothing's a 10. Yeah. So. You need something to compare it to. That's another thing. I don't want to give too much away from this doc, but I loved it so much that it's, there's a, he has an affair with, fuck, I don't know why her name hemingway and mathorn what's her name the i wrote it down uh god she's like the writer that he felt i wrote her name down all i know is i went to club martha galthorn oh galthorn yeah so he has an affair with her and it's like they're great when they're in

the war together but then once they get a house it's trash and i'm like is there never that's so he he just believed also like all right so they're in a house together it doesn't work they're in a war it works there's something fucking hilarious about that that's very you well you you like a little adventure or like an adventure i like an adventure yeah i'm an adventurer same same we're. We're the same. But also, he believed, and there's unfortunately, I think, an inkling of truth to this, that the nicer a woman is to you, the quicker you're bored, basically. Yes, yes. If someone's too nice, you're kind of like, it all goes back to that Groucho joke. Yeah, great joke.

I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would have me, basically. Yes, exactly. Genius. So you're kind of like, you're accepting me,

I'm good. Right, right. It's so true, and that's a very comic way to live. Yeah, it is funny. Man, my Rick sucks. What's your Rick?

Yeah, compared to that, that i mean that opened a whole salute your shorts it was on nickelodeon now uh i watched first of all i watched the we work doc which is it's pretty good yeah but the the cool thing about it is the guy who swindled everybody is this like it's the same archetype of fire fest guy billy mcfarland uh uh what's the other guy uh the the thomason what's the dale the car the dale with the trans woman i like that one a lot same thing that this confident person coming in that's a great that's a great hbo doc great hbo doc duplass brothers from new or. But yeah, so it's the same person, like this tall, good-looking, charismatic, confident guy who knew nothing but would just charm the pants off you,

big smile, and he got everybody's money, and he got out right before the pandemic, and then they found out he was full of shit, but it was too late because he made billions, and he got out of it. It's so fascinating. It's not just being like, it's just playing the right part. It really is. Confidence was Theranos, Elizabeth Holmes being like, it's just playing the right part. It really is.

Confidence goes to Theranos, Elizabeth Holmes. Yeah, that's another one. Same shit. She just showed up looking like Steve Jobs. She must know what she's talking about.

She's wearing a turtleneck. Yeah, exactly. But it's incredible how you just show up looking the part and that's enough. Confidence goes, which scares me

because I'm like- I know. I know. I know. And then you're like, who swindled me? But it works. We're not those dudes in meetings. We're kind of like a little more like- So then you're thinking like, well, is that the good investor?

Right. The guy who just shows up like, look, I'm fucking, my suit doesn't fit right. I'm an idiot. Yeah. Then the guy who's trash shows up like, I got you guys. Exactly. I know you. And that's the guy who sells, and we don't.

Yeah. We're here in a furniture studio. No offense. This is a great studio. This is a great studio. No, I love this, man. This feels right. This feels really good.

And we might have our first guest next week, which could be very exciting. It'll be a surprise. And yeah, it's a good one. It's a goodie. Yeah. But the other doc is this art. There's a thing on Netflix about stealing artwork from the Boston Museum. I hear it's great.

It's pretty great, yeah. I hear it's great. My mom was a part of this art theft. What? Yeah, and I'll talk about it another time. Oh, boy. Tease. Yeah, my mom's an artist.

What? I never knew that. Are you serious? I don't know. Like painting? I've shown you the paintings of hers. Absolutely. Man, when I was hooking up with her, she never mentioned it.

I'm not going to yes and you banging my mom mark that's not that's not a yes and improv i'm gonna try that improv shows your mom where where should i be inside your mom okay no no uh yeah very crazy i heard this doc is great it's good it's well done and you think it's gonna be these james bond I don't want to give anything away, but it's like these two books and it's fucking great. I love it. All right. But Hey, what are now email us,

hit us up, send us your peeves, your recs, your drinks, whatever you like at, um, we might be drunk. Yeah.

And also, yeah, we might be drunk pot at gmail.com and hit up the Patreon, uh, patreon.com slash is that we might be drunk, is it We Might Be Drunk on Patreon? We Might Be Drunk Pod on Patreon. Patreon.com slash We Might Be Drunk Pod. And should we do a quick bid or what?

Oh, yeah. Should we do it? Yeah, we should do it, right? I guess so, yeah. Mine is quick. I got nothing. I got a quick one maybe. Okay.

Girlfriend caught me looking at, she's looking on my shoulder and I'm looking at like Instagram models you know For some reason if you push the search button On my Instagram it just puts up Beautiful women with huge jugs and fat asses I wonder why that is Yeah yeah I wonder how that algorithm figured that out

I know it's that and Seinfeld bits Sounds like it doesn't know you at all man What the fuck So I pulled that up and I wasn't even scrolling through It was just up and then she was like it's that and Seinfeld bits. Sounds like it doesn't know you at all, man. What the fuck? So I pulled that up and I wasn't even scrolling through. It was just up. And then she was like, Oh,

what are you looking at? And I was like, Oh, don't worry about that. Ha ha. And she's like, you know, those women,

uh, no, no women look like that. And I was like, yeah, that's why it's good. Like, that's why we're looking at it. Cause all the rest of you look normal.

This is like exceptional. That's the whole point of being a model. So that's something with that. That's funny.'re looking at it because all the rest of you look normal. This is exceptional. That's the whole point of being a model. So that's something with that maybe. That's funny. Yeah, this is Jessica Rabbit level shit. Right, right. I mean, it's a Ferrari. It's like saying, look, these are all Hondas out here. This is what normal cars are.

That's why I'm not looking at the Hondas. I'm looking at the Ferraris. The Ferrari is unattainable. That's why I'm looking. Yes, yes, exactly. I just want to know what it looks like. Right, right, yeah. Haven't had a chance to drive one, but if someone offered me, I'd pop in.

I'll do a test, sure. Do a test. Yeah, see how big the trunk is. Pop the hood. But yeah, yeah. Shoot some motor oil all over your tits. Now, yeah. Yeah, so that's it.

It'll be a quick one like that. But the whole point is- I'll do a quick one too, then then if you're doing a quick one. All right. It just popped into my head. Oh, great. It's an old idea. I never tried it on stage, but I think there's something here.

So I'm on the subway and it's kind of packed, you know, and this woman goes, you know, in my day, a man would give his seat to a woman. I said, well, you know, I'm very progressive. That's perfect. Quick one. All right. I'll try that. I'll try that tonight. dry and there's a lot

behind that too like do you want uh chivalry or do you not want chivalry you know something there we'll give it a shot definitely thanks for listening guys i think we got a studio now so hopefully we keep rolling here and uh tell your friends about the pot this was fun in person it's a better vibe i think a person is person, it's better. People like it better. It feels better. The drinks are flowing. I'm wearing pants. This is good bourbon right here.

Great bourbon. Thank you, sir. Good choice. But we got to mix it up next week, so we'll see what happens. Thank you, brother. And yeah, keep... And look, if you got... I'm excited for the liquor that we're going to make.

Yes. That's going to be fun. We got our own bourbon. We need a name, and we need our own cocktail. That's gonna be fun. We need our own bourbon. We need a name, and we need our own cocktail. But we'll get there. We gotta think about it. I mean, I think we do a version of the Old Pal

because it's underrepresented. I like that, and we're Old Pals. We're Old Pals. So it's perfect, but we need a name for the liquor. We'll come up with something. We've got a few ideas. What is it?

Late Show or Hell Gig? I can't remember it, but... Something about Old Pals is kind of fun. Yeah, yeah. All right, all right. We it. Something about old pals is kind of fun. Yeah, yeah. All right, all right, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Thanks, guys. Thank you, guys.

Cheers. Cheers.