We Might Be Drunk - Ep 209: Hasan Minhaj

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

We do a chunk up top with just the guys while waiting for Hasan Minhaj to arrive. Recapping the meeting with Larry David and how that didn't go great. The show in the Boston Garden and then we chat all things comedy with Hasan. Watch Hasan's new Netflix special "Off With His Head" Spice up your sex life & get 20% off your 1st order at   https://www.usejoymode.com/DRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/ SubscribeToWMBD WMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ WMBD Clips Page: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Hasan Minhaj: Netflix Special "Off With His Head" out now! Sam Morril: YouTube Channel: @sammorril Instagram: https://instagram.com/sammorril/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: YouTube Channel: @marknormand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets We Might Be Drunk is produced by Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ @GothamProductionStudios Producer Matt Peters: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters/?hl=en   #wemightbedrunk #marknormand #sammorril #podcast #drunkpodcast #comedy #comedian #funny #gothampodcast

Hey, hey, we're here. We're back. Look at Winnie in the Hollywood holiday fair. I had to, you know, she's been a big part of the pot. I gotta drop some money on her, man. It's nice. What is that, Gucci? It's Fendi. Oh, I'm a Fendi about that price. Jesus. Yeah, dude, she's doing some big shit in LA she's able to stop in occasionally now. Very good yeah. She's having a Betty White type of resurgence. And she'll live there. Hey happy holidays. Get in there. Sally brought don't tell me you brought a

cookie you sick fuck. I just did Seth Meyers. They give me amazing experience, great show, but they give you the bag of the Levain cookie. Oh, the Levain. And then I was gonna not take him, but I saw Ted Danson take him. I'm like, who am I to not take him? If he's taking him, you gotta take him. You gotta take him.

How is Ted? Is he six, eight? What is he? He's tall, he looks suave as fuck. Wow. His tailored suit looked great. You were saying, we were just talking about the making of one coffee a day pregnant.

Yeah, yeah. That's rough. No one talks about that. Everybody knows, hey, no booze, no drugs, no smoking, but no sushi, no cold cuts, no oysters. You can't take Pepto Bismol. You can't even have. It's crazy the amount of shit.

No Pepto. How about like a peppermint pill? Could you do that? Probably. No Pepto. I took it yesterday. You live on Pepto. I took it this morning.

Exactly. I take it every fucking day. That's your spinach. I'm a piece of shit. You're Popeye. But yes, she, no one talks about all the other stuff and you'll be like, oh, we're doing shrooms tonight. Here you go.

Ah, shrooms. Yeah, yeah, like everything. Yeah, I would advise against that one. I didn't know what's natural. I know but that one seemed like a layup Can't do acid on shrooms. This is fucking crazy Well, that's it's a chemical. It's on a it's in a Bible. This is I know but I would have assumed like psychedelics Or is shrooms a psychedelic it is yeah, okay? Well, yeah, you probably shouldn't do it. Still a side, but imagine that baby in there, like whoa, it's like a planetarium all of a sudden,

you got Orion's belt up your ass. He's in there like, oh my God, it's crazy, I'm gonna come out of that thing. I was Jizz, man. I was in my dad's balls. That's crazy. I wanna hear about this gig you did with. Woo!

Okay, so it's, first off, Big Jer. Yeah. Who else, Springsteen? Springsteen closed. Okay. Jerry Springsteen Stewart Gaffigan, Nora Jones. Wow. And Questlove.

Damn! If that tickles your taint. Oh, he's great, I love him. Yeah, but Bob Woodruff, stand up for heroes, shout out to him, he makes all this money for these vets, I mean, this guy's in the front row with no legs. Wow. Probably shouldn't have said,

that joke's got legs, unlike him. Oh! No, I didn't say that, but it ran through the head. Yeah. Two years ago I would've. But don't forget Larry on Saturday. Yeah. That was Monday.

What a week. Oh my gosh, you had a fucking, you spent time with both creators of Seinfeld. Exactly. It can't get, I mean that's like comedy fucking Camp 101. Yes, make a wish baby. Well I gotta tell you about the Larry thing. He didn't look happy in the picture.

He was miserable, I was miserable, it was bad. It was like a hostage situation. Damn it. I would rather be waterboarded than go through that again. And because he knew his agent was like, this guy demands you meet, this is like a thing he would hate. Yes.

This is like a curb. It's a curb app. Like he has to, he has to shake your hand and take a photo. Exactly. And in the curb app you'd be like playedb app, you'd be played by someone, you'd be played by like Alex Edelman or something. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So just long story short, I'm doing the Chicago theater.

He goes, Berkowitz goes, hey, Larry wants to do it that night. Can he have the five o'clock slot? You move your show from seven to eight just to give a little more breathing room. And I said, no problem, but I get to meet him and he said yeah no problem that's easy and this is my agent by the way yes and this is like you know he he's a bulldog but I can imagine he did not enjoy delivering this news to Larry David I

can imagine too because I don't think he ever did Larry was in the dark he didn't know about it that's why this was awkward. That's why he's a good agent. He just made it happen. So here's the rundown. So Larry, his guy, I'm not gonna say his name, but he's on he's on WMEs on your team. Yeah, he's Larry's point man. Okay. I'm not gonna say his name cuz I'm about to fuck this guy right in the ass. I know who it is already. Okay. I think. So I'm in Chicago, me and DeVito are out at a lunch spot, having coffee, talking comedy, we're having a great time. Anthony DeVito, look at him up. One of the best.

One of the best, just that. So funny. So funny, and just walking around that downtown Chicago, we're in Kalamazoo the night before, no offense, so it was like quite an upgrade, the river going through, the Lake Michigan, the Sears Tower. That would be funny if someone in Kalamazoo is like,

what? Chicago's, they don't know? They're like, Kalamaz Michigan, the Sears Tower. That would be funny if someone in Kalamazoo is like, what? Chicago's, they don't know. They're like, Kalamazoo is fucking cool, dude. Yeah, yeah, the theater wasn't bad, but as a town, it's, you know. No, Chicago is top five in the States. Chicago is easily. You got the water, it's fucking,

I love New York, but it's affordable. Yeah, yeah, true, true. It's gorgeous. The architecture's insane, the food is great, it's a top tier city through and through. Millennial Mile, the Park, the Bean, you know, and I'm a Ferris Bueller nut, so I'm just going, oh yeah, bom bom.

Twist and Chef. Yeah, so Larry's guys hit me up and he's going, hey, the show's at five, you might want to come early, meet him before the show, and I go, oh, well we're out at lunch, I still gotta go shower, I was planning on coming to the show. They're already fucking you. Exactly, and he's like, well he's gonna want to leave

right after his show, and I'm like, I'm out, they told me after, so I had planned on after, and now you're trying to switch it up on me, he's like, you might not be able to do it after, after I'd come before and I'm like, I'll never make it I gotta go home and shower and get my my outfit on of all this is fucked up. It's fucked up So I'm like I put my foot down. I call like hey. Hey, fuck you. We agreed to this I move them on well, I'm texting I like hey we agreed to this and he's like, alright, alright, we'll see Give me the will see I'm like, what was all this and he's like, all right. All right, we'll see. Give me the we'll see

What was all the agreement this is fucking peeve city all over it So his shows at five so I show up at 530 because I want to see the show He's doing an evening with Larry David. It's him and Suzy Espin on stage. It was it was really funny It's cool. Super cool Q&A Larry's up on his feet telling stories one guy goes Larry Did you keep anything from the Seinfeld set and he was like, yeah yeah, I kept some stuff from the diner. And he goes, no, that's boring. Give me some real dirt. And Larry goes, boring? Fuck you! Fuck you! And he's up on his feet. You call me boring? And he does that whole thing. And it was great. And then after the show they whisk Larry off into the green room and I'm like, this is it. So Larry's guy comes and grabs me and he goes, let's do it. And guy comes and grabs me and he goes let's do it and he looks annoyed at me like let's get this over with and I'm

like why am I the bad guy but whatever so we get to Larry's green room did he have any idea who you were no idea so we didn't know you were doing the show after him nothing you could just be some dipshit roaming the halls yes exactly and I got that weird thing on my arm he probably thought I had cancer or something I just got a blood infusion, because that was from the IVs. That's why I travel with Veeder. People are like, he might have cancer.

He's got the thin eyebrows. So Larry's in the green room, that green room with like 12 people, old people. His daughter's in there, he's got family in there, and they're all like, great show, good to see you. And he's like, I haven't seen you since New York City in 1971, he's talking to all these people.

And his point guy is looking at me, I'm standing outside the green room like this, and he goes, we gotta do it now, we gotta do it now. If we don't do it now, it'll never happen. Like Secret Service, they're like, the eagle is landing. Yes, yes, exactly. Meanwhile, I'm picturing, I'm at my hotel room showering, like me and Larry are gonna talk about standup,

we're gonna talk about opening the Jerry, we're gonna talk about the Dodgers. We're gonna talk about New York. I'm gonna talk about the show. He's gonna get me in a headlock He's gonna nugget me. We're gonna kiss. I have all these fantasies I thought about asking for a guest set like what kind of crazy world you stay for your show He's like I should bring back curb. This guy could be my new wacky neighbor. Yes. I fuck his daughter So I'm outside the green room and he's like, let's do it now and I'm like give him a minute to be my new wacky neighbor. Yes, I fuck his daughter. I thought all kinds of stuff was gonna happen. So I'm outside the green room and he's like, let's do it now and I'm like, give him a minute. He's talking to some old guy, their old friend,

give him a minute and he's like, it's now or never and I'm like, all right, fine. And this pimple, this twerp, he goes, hey Larry, sorry to interrupt, this guy wants to meet you. And Larry's like, uh, okay, and I just come in. This guy is rough. How about he's doing the show next to you after you had sold out how about he's the stand-up comedian how about he opens for Jerry how about he moved his time

for you give me some context you queef you killed me. This is rough and did you did you see the agent afterwards was he in there? Uh, well who? The guy who who fucked you over. He was the one going we got to do it now that's him. Oh, well who? The guy who fucked you over. He was the one going, we gotta do it now. That's him. Oh, I thought he was just a security guy, okay. Oh no, no, this is his point guy, his assistant or whatever you wanna call it. His representation. So Larry's like, okay, he just stood there,

no handshake, and I go, I had all these things to say, I froze. Cause I felt so uncomfortable, I went blank, and I go, great show! And he goes, yeah. And they took the photo and I left. And DeVito was like, woo, that was brutal. DeVito thought he would meet him too. I mean, we thought this would be a lot more casual and fun. Damn. You gotta text my agent.

I'm gonna let him know. I hope he hears. Send him this clip. Send it to him. Cause that kid fucked me right in the ass. Larry had no idea. He thought my dad owned the theater or something, I assume. And I went back to my green room and got a tear. The difference in expression is, you know, like, look at Mark. He's still trying. He's like, maybe I could fake my way through the picture.

Yeah. Give him the little finger bang. Larry just looks like he ate, like, something sour. Like he had some expired milk or something. He's just like, uh-uh. He had no idea what that was and the whole thing lasted about four seconds. Photo, got out, he was like, the agent guy was like, alright, see you later, we did it. And I was like, you fucking chooch. I think in the Curbed episode, you're Larry. No. I need a signed contract for a handshake. I gotta meet, this is a very Larry thing to do. No. I need a signed contract for a handshake.

I gotta meet, this is a very Larry thing to do. No, but Larry's the guy who's, there's like the episodes where Larry has to write the recommendation. Like Larry's the guy who's always. He's put out. He's put out. Okay, so Larry's not being put out here.

No, he's hanging out with, you know, people I haven't seen in years and some guy he doesn't know. Right, right. I mean, this could be a curb, but from someone else's perspective. Yeah, exactly. Damn.

I gotta tell you, it ruined my set a little bit, because I was so, like, in my head about it. But whatever, we got the photo. When he dies, I'll tell, I'll change the story, and I'll be like, we had a great time, and I opened forum and all that. So then- That's what, DeVito's dad was whacked by the mob

and he's like, that's the worst thing I've ever seen. That's true. Yeah, Devito wanted to meet him too. I mean, we thought it was gonna be like an easy going, like, hey Larry, nice to meet you. Great show, we're on after you. Big fan, yada yada. That's a good picture.

Look at that, Jerry's looking serious too. Oh yeah, these guys are getting old. Did you tell Jerry? I told him I met him and I didn't unload the whole thing on him because we were like in the wings. Are they still close or no? Oh yeah, oh yeah, they talk all the time and he loves Larry.

Then the next curb is like Mark then meets him again and has to pretend he never met him and Larry's like, where do I know you from? Yes. That's the next. I met him at Schumer's wedding, I was gonna bring that up, I mean I had so many things to go to

and it all went to hell. Damn, you have all these reference points. Yeah, it just shows you reality is unbeatable. Like you have all this fantasy in your head, but reality is what reality is and it's not gonna change. Yeah. You can't beat it, but.

Sorry dude. But. But you know what, here's the thing about being a comic, even when something like that happens, Yeah. You can't beat it, but. Sorry dude. But. But you know what? Here's the thing about being a comic. Even when something like that happens, you get a story. I got a story out of it, totally. That's the beautiful thing.

You either meet your hero and you have a great time or you get a story. Yes. And at least Larry is still cool in my eyes. The other guy I hate. It's not like, oh you can't meet your heroes. No, no, you can't meet their agents that's the takeaway so it take 10% of your money and 90% of your joy yes you're all right you're all right how was this benefit with Jerry and gaffigan and all these guys John Stewart will do it so I text

the cues the the mole the gorilla this guy can just slide in anywhere. He's a slippery minx, this fucker. That's a good one. That's a great one. Can you do on the suit? I had to. That's a nice one. Gaffigan fucked me on this one.

But this was a 180 compared to the Larry. This was an amazing night, everything was awesome. How did Gaffigan fuck you? Gaffigan, I texted him at noon the day of, and I go, what do we wear to this? It's kind of formal, it's at Lincoln Center, and he goes, oh, go suit, no tie, that's the move. And I go, oh, all right.

He's like, that's what I'm wearing. I show up, he's dressed like Kim Jong-un, and he's got sweatpants on, like a loose zipper jacket, and he was like, yeah, I had a change of heart, and I was like, you fuck me. Change of heart? I'm wearing a monkey suit out here. No, you look good. Hey, thanks, I had a change of heart. And I was like, you fuck me. I'm wearing a monkey suit out here. Now you look good.

Hey, thanks. But those shoes are so uncomfortable. Mark was leaving the place and he was like, damn it, Jim Jong-un. He came up in the line way after on the walk home. Well, one of the great moments of the night is Seinfeld's like, we were making fun of Jim's outfit. And we're like, who does he, what is he?

And I was like, maybe a cult leader. And he's like, yeah, that's not bad. I go, a valet and then Right as the night's about to end Larry Jerry goes Korean dictator and I was like that's it. That's it We had a great moment and then I thought of on the subway home Jim Jong-un I like Norman's brain scanning is like messy plemmons That's pretty good

messy plemmens is big. Alright. Yeah, Stuart looking cool. I wouldn't expect him to rock like a cool suede look. Well here's the irony of Stuart. He did the Daily Show that night in a suit, took the suit off to come to this. So I'm like, I didn't know we could do that. I would have worn my Hooters shirt. Oh, that looks great. So where was the show Lincoln Center? Sold out beautiful theater state of the art and got the green room with Jerry with the gym

And we just had a great time with the hell of these pictures you have in your in your messages I just saw a guy's pant line in there. That was Ronnie Chang. Okay All right. You have a hot set on there? Ah, the crowd wasn't great. I did pretty good considering, like two guys, I'm not gonna say who. No who.

There's only four guys. Oh, yeah. Well, you gotta still figure it out. Two, but I'm not saying who. I know who killed. Seinfeld crushed. I know it's gonna be my guess. I bleep that don't say it shit. They two guys struggled. Did you go bullet? Of course? Yeah, yeah fucking Nora Jones is supposed to go first cuz she's doing a piano piece and then she goes

I don't want to go first so they were like hey, hey dickless You really want do you really want to follow Nora Jones anyway? Yeah, I guess you're right. Only music is tough She killed too. She was like a tear, not a dry eye in the house. She's talented. Very talented, very attractive. Would you? What eye?

Yeah. Well, I'd fuck Jon Stewart. But I talked to Stewart about Tony Hinchcliffe, I got some great time with Stewart. He's a cool guy. Great guy, nice guy. Very cool, like, I don't think our generation may not know what a killer standup he was.

Yeah. He had some funny shit back in the day. Oh, totally. But you know what it was? It's a room full of vets and rich elites, so it's kinda like liberal right wing split. So he went and righted on the election, cause this is two weeks ago.

And people are just like, enough with the, we don't wanna do this right now. My leg's blown off, you're shittin' on legs blown off you're shitting on my guy or shitting on my gal that would be the best heckle my legs blown up yeah this is this is us going hey you hired Tony you gonna get Tony I'm like you get to you get Tony Hitchcliff and John's like that's what I'm saying yeah so that is Justin Theroux gigs man yeah when you do those big gigs like, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. And there's Justin Theroux. Big gigs, man. Yeah, when you do those big gigs,

like of course Mark and I were the small guys, we're the young guys. Of course. I went bullet on Garden of Dreams and I remember being like, just fucking bring the heat. Yeah. Set the tone. I remember Greg Giroldi used to do those roasts,

he always went first and it's like, set the tone. Yeah, that's true. Do what you can do. It's a bit of a compliment because you're reliable too. You're the new guy but reliable. Yeah. I think. They're not gonna put, you know,

just any Joe Schmo up first. And then they brought you all out on stage in the end, right? Did you riff with them? I saw mics. I did. Now you wanna play the video? Oh yeah. So this was, I'm just watching Bruce,

I'm watching Seinfeld like, hey, cool is this Seinfeld killed and uh? He has some great stuff. I'll tell you later. I don't want to spill his material, but then they go Here's your cordless mic and I got what's this for I'm done And they go we're gonna put you all out there together so we can flip the room or flip the start drinking already a little yeah I know the feeling but I am so out of place. I should not be on stage with these guys These are all legends are They're all 65 plus. You're you're I'm sure they loved you out there with them man. Come on Well, I did it's a tough thing is you're like do I say something or do I not say something if you don't say something?

You're like the quiet weirdo But if you do say something if you're like, why are you talking? The tough thing is when you wait too long and then they're like, oh, there you are. Yes, yes. So John Stewart luckily referenced me. He goes, we're a boy band now and this is our newest member and that got a little pop. And I was like, this is my chance, hit it. We've done all we're doing?

Yes, so we're a boy band. And we just finally found a younger singer. Thank you, I used to do ditty parties. So this is an upgrade. I love it perfect All right So that was a John Stewart referencing we have the same system we held up a paddle because they did an auction right that, so it was like a call back to the auction, we held up a paddle and fuck him or whatever. That's amazing dude. But I got a line in and I got out. That is beautiful.

Terrifying. Terrifying. But what a night and a complete 180 from the Larry thing, because all it was was backstage. The set was secondary, just hanging out with Jerry and Gaffigan and Stewart. Good times. And then watching Bruce was pretty, that was a treat. That is pretty cool. Killed it. Never seen him live.

Unbelievable. I mean the voice was great. Hey little little boy, who da honey? Oh my God. Don't judge based on this, it was pretty good. Also he told jokes in between songs. He told three street jokes and killed. Two miscarriage jokes. And one about Gaza.

It was kind of weird. There was one point where we're all watching Bruce and we're zinging and zanging to each other. And Seinfeld goes, we should probably watch this, right? And I was like, oh yeah, good point. It was so much fun bullshitting with the comics that we're like, Bruce brings these on stage. We should listen.

Oh, that's pretty cool, man. And then Seinfeld goes, what are you doing tomorrow? I go, I got a couple of podcasts. I got to And then Simon Falk goes, what are you doing tomorrow? I go, I got a couple podcasts, I gotta do some writing. I go, what are you gonna do? He goes, I'm gonna sleep in and watch the Red Sox doc on Netflix. And you're like, oh man, this guy's, he's just a normal guy.

Yeah, as a Mets fan you can watch that, as he anchors, that fucking hurt. Oh yeah, that's true. But I'm sure the doc is cool. You know in Japan, they watched, like, we watched the World Series, but in Japan it was like times eight. They love baseball so much because of that Otani guy.

Well yeah, they have other great players from there, I mean, fuck, isn't Ichiro Japanese? Oh yeah. I mean, he was the guy. I thought they were the same person. All right. But yeah. Oh I gotta tell you, I did Seth Meyers. Yes, what a week! We drank the whiskey together. All right. But yeah. Oh, I gotta tell you I did Seth Meyers

Yes, what a week we drank the whiskey together. Pull it up panel is so much easier. Is it really? Oh my god, cuz like you're following I followed like the kid from Cobra Kai So it's like he's charming as hell, but it's like it's a different gear. Wow, we got a Jew and then jujitsu Yeah, look at that. Yeah, it's probably on YouTube. Oh, okay. You can just get the beginning of me being like, he tried bodega cat, he loved it. He was like, I bought a mostly drank bottle,

which I thought was kind of fun. Oh, wow. Yeah, he was a cool fucker. Hey, there it is. Yeah, I think the very beginning pulls it out. His latest special youth change is streaming on Prime Media. You can see him live next year on the Errors Tour. Tickets are available through samorail.com.

Please welcome to the show, Sam Morrill, everybody. Hey, here we go. Yeah, this is all important, me walking. Look at him! Good outfit. Handsome devil, yeah? I'll say I saw Seth Byers perform at the Beacon. He's got jokes. He's fucking funny, dude. Great writer.

And he's like page to stage. He's not like a guy, like, I do shit in a lot of comics who don't do the road hard, but he actually, maybe it's because he was like an SNL writer guy, but he just like, he just has jokes. Yeah, he loves jokes and he pumps them out. Here it is with the new bottle and everything. Wow.

The one called Bodega Cat. Right in there. That's fantastic. I think we have a couple glasses here. Oh! Will you have some with me? Good dude. He was full when I brought it, by the and I... Right in there. That's fantastic, I think we have a couple glasses here where you have some with me. Good dude. How long have you been... It was full when I brought it by the way,

your interns are crazy. I will say this is the first time someone's held up a bottle that is this empty. How many years have you had it? It's been a few years. And was this because you were drinking it anyway? Nice cups. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's just cool. And this is like, it's called Bodega cat because it's like a city whiskey. This is a great drinking city. Yeah, just cool. No ice. And this is like, it's called Bodega Cac. It's like a city whiskey. This is a great drink in city. You can just cab home. I was leaving my friend's house at 6 a.m. the other night. I was hammered.

I hail a cab and I'm stumbling and the driver sees me and he just goes, LaGuardia? And you know, I don't have any luggage. I'm stumbling. But I was so bombed I was just like, LaGuardia? And you know, I don't have any luggage, I'm stumbling. But I was so bombed, I was just like, yeah. He starts driving me to the airport and I'm just, I'm gone. And I start sobering up like halfway through and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, JFK.

That's a great joke. Yeah, yeah, that was, we were leaving Michael Che's place that night at like five or six a.m. Wasted, poured us blue label. Yeah, and I said to him was like you're wasting this shit on us cuz we are shitface That's right. We would drink gasoline right now. Yeah, and and I think I was so drunk. I was like boxing you out in the hallway We were like fucking doing like just like, you know, dude shit Yeah, yeah drunk as hell and we split ways and that's when I got in the cab and the guy fucking drove me to LaGuardia. That's amazing.

But yeah, you wanna get to the jokes immediately. Of course. Tell me about the producer, because I've never done The Couch. Are they up your ass, that story sucks, that's too blue? No, they're cool. Pretty much everything they were like, just say whatever, we'll bleep it or we'll cut it.

Wow. Cut it, I only got like six, seven minutes. But I said, I had one comment where they pulled up an old picture of me on America's Got Talent, I had like curly bangs and I was like, ugh, look at me. I fucking look like Julius Caesar's hipster younger brother with AIDS. And they were like, I just got an email after the show,

great segment, just a heads up, we cut AIDS. That's all the emails. What an email. But they were cool as hell and the producer's great. They were like just tell us stories. Couple like I had a couple of news stories I want to tell but I'm like yeah they're not like ready to you want endings. Yeah. No I think that's a perfect story because it went with the booze it's a drunk story

it's perfect. And also AGT is good because it's like on NBC and shit. Oh, yeah I'll just do that. Is this the first time you ever did one of these shows without doing stand-up first? Like yeah, I did Letterman No, I did Daily Show back in the day I did Daily Show a while back with when Trevor was hosting but uh, and then I did I did a Letterman Netflix thing But I did stand-up before but that But the show is to be on the couch. So it wasn't like back in the day

where you do like a danger reel thing and then like a quick thing on the couch. It was like, it was a longer time on the couch than stand up. And it was way more fun doing couch because you're like, there's lower pressure. You kind of, because you have moments where you're like, oh, I could riff with Letterman. Right, right.

There's less pressure. That's true, man. That looks fun. Now I want to do it. You will do it. I'm sure you could do it whenever. Well, I tried Fallon. No dice. But Seth Meyers seems more laid back and chill. He knows that I've done shows with people. You know when you do like a podcast with someone, you're like, they're just not, you're doing someone's, like you're a guest on someone's podcast. They just don't set you up. Yes. They're just like, oh, just go, and you're like, all right. And Fallon makes you do karaoke and ping pong with Snooki.

I'd rather, that. Well, he wouldn't make you do that. Ah, hope not. No one wants to see you do that shit. They want to see Katy Perry do that. Yeah, that's true. I can do beer pong. That would be fucking fun.

Hey. You beat Fallon, though, is the question. No, he's a booze bag. He would bury me. But, you know, those shows are like, You beat Fallon though is the question? No, he's a booze bag. He was burying me. But you know, those shows are like, also in those shows you're usually following, I don't know, you're following someone who's not a comic.

Of course, Cobra Kai. But stand up on those shows is like every word's gotta count. That's true. Like paneling, you're kinda billed to something. Right. And you can play off them a little too. Yeah, and it's so much more conversational.

Stand up, you walk out and there's been no stand up and you're like, so I was in a cab the other day and they're like, whoa, it's kind of jarring. This is just so natural. It's so organic. And also Seth is, he just understands comedy. So he's like, he knows not to step on you. He knows there's like another line coming

if I'm trying to build to something. Yeah, no, I still love, I miss shows. I did all you garbage live the other day, and I was like, I like doing things with an audience. It's the best. It's fun. It's fun. Was it the Gramercy? It was the Chelsea musical.

Oh, nice. That's why we ran into that guy who said he wants to carry Bodega Cat. Dude, Bodega Cat's fucking moving. It's moving, baby. We're moving with this shit. Moving product. Every time I get a text from Matt Herman, our distributor,

I feel like Ray Liotta in the shower. I'm like, Jimmy! But I'm like, Sammy! How funny would it be though if this fucker, Kaiser Soze, does and just took all our money? Cause Mark and I are all in financially on this. We have 50-50 partners now. We bought out our other partner.

We are in the red right now. Lot of moolah. bought out our other partner. We are in the red right now. Lot of moolah. Lot of moolah we're in the red right now. And it would be hilarious if this sweet, seemingly competent guy just fucked up our lives. He's a cute, little nerdy guy. He's always anxious and uncomfortable and nebushy. And this guy could be Kaiser So-saying us right out

of our savings account. He's listening to this podcast with a cigarette, like, I'm fucking nerdy Yeah, I'm gonna rip you fuckers to shreds. He's fucking your lady right now Hey, I would have used my lady, but they're cousins That's why I went with your even darker. Oh, that's true. It's his baby His first words were yeah That was rough, sorry.

Sorry about that one, guys. I've been sitting on a hipster Julius Caesar, uh, they them Brute? Wow! That's a good one. Those 20 minutes I was waiting to get there. He's like, I'm gonna work it back to Caesar. When I was in high school, the Caesar cut

was popular, remember that? It's awful. Was there any big actors who had that shit? Oh, yeah, George Michael had it George Michael Jason Tatum the basketball player for a minute kind of had it. Oh Yeah, it's my high school yearbook photo is me with the the Caesar no, that's no good the see that's a big boss man Oh, that's no good. That's not the Caesar, that's the big boss man. Remember that wrestler? Yes! That was when wrestlers were like the most uncreative.

It was like Ted DiBiase, he was just a guy with money. Right. Billion dollar man, then they had IRS. He was just like, he was like, I'm the IRS guy. They were like, well how uncreative? Yeah. They're just thinking of shit people hate. Right, right.

Like I'm the herpes man. Then one guy was just Iranian. I know! That was it, that was it. I had that cut. It was not that short on the sides. Oh dude, I had it. Pull up the AGT photo, it's awful.

Just look up Samurai AGT. It's like a curly Caesar. Yeah. It's awful. Well I was ashamed of my curly hair as a kid because everybody would go Curly Q, Curly Sue, Brillo Head. Wow. That's fucking awful.

Oh, it hits the forehead. What was I thinking? That was a different time. That was what I thought a nice outfit was back then too. Hilarious, it's a hood for a navy. By the way, you're wearing the same thing today. Yeah. Ah, it's not a hoodie.

That's like a, there was like 5,000 people in the crowd there. I could have maybe tried a little bit. That's true. I could have worn a fucking hoodie with one fucking string. That's more normal. That's a good shirt. Yeah. Nice.

Yeah. Conan, you tried it. That was like our first example of like trying to look nice. Yeah, true. I put on, that was the first time you put on a button down ever. And then Fallon, the suit, and then people tell us like, oh, my first suit, and I think I did Colbert

in my first suit, I look like shit. Oh, yeah. I didn't know you had to get a suit that fit same. It was like yeah tailoring was like foreign to me Yeah, pull up his Colbert suit and pull up my that's who's balance blue. That's a nice suit. Yeah, but pull up Colbert That's fucking that's a bad one It was a little big. I remember it was awful. Oh Yeah, look at that the Mormon you look like you're selling Bibles Yeah, I remember Burt Kreischer was like you should never wear a suit Ah, you know what's rough when a guy who doesn't wear clothes is telling you not to wear right right?

Damn that's a good point, but the hair look good in that one. Oh there you go little Rodney looks like Rodney Yeah, we're Republican congressmen. Yeah, you got a senator thing. Is that Paul Ryan? Yeah, let's see you pull up Norman Fallon my first valent good though in it though. Well, it was a gray suit I got it at Topman in Soho for like $70. It was so cheap, but it didn't fit they had to they had to They had to pull the sleeves in. I don't know. It looks kind of good. Actually. Oh well, they they fixed it for me, cause it was loosey goosey.

I don't see the problem here. Do you? I would say the black tie doesn't go well with it. The four pins in the sleeve, and then the sleeves had to turn in like this, so the cuffs, cause they were way too long. It was a mess. How about that black one there?

That looks good. That was when I actually got a couple bucks together and bought a suit. But even that suit's shit now. You know what's funny? You spend money on these suits and then you think you look good and every comment's like, why the fuck's he wearing a suit? I know, I know.

You really think you pulled it together. Yeah. Every comment's like, you're not a fucking suit guy. The only good one is my aunt, like, you look sharp. I'll get one of those. Yeah, if you wanna fuck a 60 year old in the Midwest, you're looking right. I just, the Mulaney's first special came on the other day

and his whole opening is about his suit. He's like, so I got my first communion, blah, blah, blah. I look like a tall boy. So we have to address it. It's like a weird thing that comedians in a suit is strange. Yeah, but now it's hard to picture Mulaney in like a bomber. That's true. Yeah, and he's in like a good fitting suit. That's a hell of a suit. Yeah, it now I talk to picture Mulaney in like a bomber. That's true. Yeah, and he's in like a good fitting suit.

That's a hell of a suit. Yeah, it's like a nice suit. Is he tall? He gives the appearance of being tall and thin, but. Six even. Ah, that's all right. He has a joke about it. That's the only reason.

But he has, yeah, but he's like very thin, so. But he's a dapper guy. I mean, look at that, he just did, I think he won GQ, Man of the Year, and it's all just sexy sweaters and pants and. At what point is that a problem for your comedy? Ooh! Because we are not supposed to be cool.

Oh yeah, he looks like good, that's the thing. It works on him. It does, but at what point is that, because in your head I think we're not supposed to think of ourselves as cool. 100%, if I was wearing this I'd kill myself. But also. Not that it looks bad, I just couldn't pull it off

No, you look at this No, the thing is you could pull it off, but then you have to get in a state of mind where you're like Think cool. Yeah, I like this is ridiculous I just hear my high school buddies in my ear going hey you jerk off you think you'd pull this off you fucking quiff What do you think you are my girlfriend got me a sweater the other day? I was like, what are you doing for me? And she's like, it's a really nice sweater I'm like, yeah, but I can't fucking wear this. Exactly. That's how I feel I have a leather jacket hanging up in my house. I got glass around it with a hammer

I'm like, I can't wear this. Signed by Andrew Dice-Cliff You, I saw you wear it once. I've worn it like three times. It looked good. Thanks. Thanks But leather jacket is hard not to, even if it's a nice jacket I wore one on a gig with Chrissy D And he was like leather he's like you can now you're like oh out of the gate exactly Then it's in your head the whole night, but I thought it looked cool With the fur on it No, it's got no fur. I've seen those those are fucking cool very nice That's coming by the way

Ten minutes from now okay Yeah. Okay, shit. We're gonna run into the second guest. Well, maybe we can just start that one. Can we cut all this, obviously? But we can just, we can start that late, right? Yeah, they're not here until four. Oh, okay, okay. We're fine.

We're fine. And he'll come in with late energy, which is good, because he'll be on and he'll be grateful or not grateful, but apologetic. Yeah, and he's got the, he'll bring the, you know, middle relief energy. Yes. Like, sending picture. Yes. energy. Like, standing pitcher. Yes. Yeah. Late energies can help.

Can I tell a quick Mark story? Ah. So I was- Oh, I got two for you. Yeah, go ahead, you go first. No, no, you go first. So I was with Mark the other night and he was playing like a gay room.

It was a part of the New York Comedy Fest, it was called My Straight Friends, and it was a gay- Mark had to pretend he didn't know all of them already. He's vetoing the sopranos like, oh it's a joke! It's over, it's a joke! Cut to me in the car later? Whaaat?

Alright, pull that scene up. And uh... Pull that up for after. Alright. Just a scene in the club. Okay. Um, so uh... Oh, the club. Okay. So, uh. Oh, the club.

He starts out his set and like 70% of his regular jokes is about gay stuff. I got a lot of gay jokes. Yeah. So I was like, is he gonna do like his gay material in front of these gay guys? And he starts and I see him doing it and he's like stuttering just a little bit.

I was nervous. Little nervous and then he went right into it and they went nuts. I leaned in. so I saw him afterwards. I saw him downstairs and I was like I saw you like Stutterstep there for a second. You have to believe this. I'm sorry Matt and he's like Yeah, yeah, I just said to myself come on Do it Get over it Yeah, I was dying when he said that I mean cuz that Because that's really his internal monologue.

From your friends, 1998 or whatever. Yeah, you're right. And it worked. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, those rooms during the fest can be tough too. And to be nervous and take a chance, I had the exact opposite thing happen. Uh-oh.

I did the Cats is Deli show. Oh, yeah. I bombed so hard. Really? That's your Mecca. I did the Cats is Deli show. Oh yeah. I bombed so hard. Really? That's your Mecca. I just killed it. That's why it hurts. I've now bombed in the Strand Bookstore.

Oh! I bombed in Cats is Deli. I bombed in some New York landmarks. I'm like, these are places I love. Yeah. What's next, I'm gonna bomb in the garden floor, you know? The Nick's locker room, they're fucking heckling me. Stock exchange.

But dude, I had, it went late. Stock exchange. Dude, I had, I, it went late. The show went late, I can say that forever, but the show went late and it started at 10. I'm there at like 11 and people keep cutting in front of me. It's one of those things where they're like, I got a thing. Oh yeah. All right. And then I see Louis at the cellar and Louis is like,

oh, I'm doing that Cassis Deli show with you after. And I was like, oh cool. But in my head I'm like, he's like, yeah, yeah, I think I'm going after you. And I'm like, oh thank God. But then I get there, Louis like swung on and I think he thought I went on already. He did like 30. And I'm like, fuck.

I'm in the back just like, I already had half a sandwich, a huge. And I was like, fuck it, bring another one out. I start pounding, I start doing pickle backs with Bodega Cats. With their pickle juice, bring another one out. Yeah. I start pounding, I start doing pickle backs with Bodega Cat. Oh! With their pickle juice, which is fucking. Whoa.

Yeah. I'm like, this is iconic, but I am miserable. Then, that's what happened to me. And then, Marcelo is, you know, from SNL is like, I gotta shoot tomorrow at 6 a.m. And I was like, go ahead. And he kills, big energy. He killed, and the ladies are going nuts,

and I'm like, in my head, I'm like, I'm dead in the water. I know, I look at my clock, it's like 12 and 09 and I'm like, over two hours into a show, they're tired, I'm tired. I just keep trying but I just keep, it's like drowning, we're just like, ah, ah, ah, and I'm just fucking bombing and it's like, what do you do?

It's also a tough room. Not the cat's eyes but like that crowd that they get. They're kind of like well off and hip. Yeah. And they're not like, they're into themselves more than the performers sometimes. Mm. Yeah.

Well, Marcella did well. No. No. But I, no I kind of got them toward the end but it was one of those where I'm like, let me make my exit quietly. Right. Yeah, damn, what happened?

You think the energy shift was too much? Maybe, yeah, it's like, fuck, all his charisma to then to me. Yeah. I'm like, that ain't helping. Right. And then late, tired. Yeah, true.

I think they wanted the night to be over, and I think also, sometimes you don't connect. That happens all the time. I think I didn't open with the right jokes And so it's like you sometimes forget you have to be likable on stage. You're like well this mathematically is a good joke Yes, and it just fucking misses. I struggle with that too, and then you're out and it's like there's nothing worse than bombing and hating yourself But also being full of two pastrami sandwiches and booze and booze and they're like now do I hate myself? I feel like ill right oh man this will cheer me up yeah this was me at that show this is fucking amazing oh man oh Vito is this a stereotype or do gay guys

really do this? Dire straights in the back What funny you fucking watching cupcake cupcake? Please it's a fucking joke. Oh All right, this is crazy I'm serious. I'm so pleased Oh fuck those jerks, What do you care what they think? What? What do you mean, I'm fuck alone? Oh, he just shifted. That's sad. That is a sad scene.

That went from hilarious to just so fucking sad. Yeah, I feel bad for the guy. I mean, I thought you were gonna show the give it head in the car scene. That's pretty good too. Yeah, but, hoo, that was dark. And also, I don't think I've ever seen that Sal guy. Is he in a lot of episodes? Cause I feel like they hired him

just to be the homophobic Guido. It's a great casting call. Great casting. You don't remember me from Sopranos? I'm the guy who called him to f*** at the gay bar. That was me. He's like, and by the way, imagine nailing that role. And that's all the only role you ever played with.

I don't recognize that guy. Yeah, I'm an actor. It says here you only played homophobic man in Barstain. Don't get me wrong, he nailed it. There, this was me after the show. Oh, that's Finn. The nod. Oh, this guy can't catch a break.

He can catch a dick though. If you play them all in succession, it is kind of slapstick. He just keeps running into people, he's sucking dick. He's getting fucked, he's like, not again. That's true. That was one of the darkest ends though that he met. I mean, that was fucking crazy.

The Phil leotardo Yeah, so hateable That's a good way to get around saying retard this guy's a leotardo The guys that Italian retard that's pretty good leotardo fuck. Oh, I had another thing you were talking about cats Yeah, yeah, what I've not I bombed that show at Strand too, which was like another, like I love Strand Bookstore, that's another New York landmark. Totally.

Thank God it didn't bomb at Lugers. Oh. That would've sucked. But sometimes those crowds are very like, I don't wanna say like precious, but you nailed it, like those IG type of. Totally, totally. It almost feels like a Miami type crowd.

Yes, yes, exactly. Marcelo's perfect for that cute energy kind of. He is funny though. I know what you mean but he is a funny dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see him in that commercial constantly now, the platinum power. Oh, I don't know this.

You've never seen this? I don't watch TV anymore. I watch too much, I watch so much sports. Oh, sports will do it. I'm all in on like YouTube and Netflix and streaming so I never watch commercials. You watching anything good? Well the Penguin I gotta say. It is good. Simon Rex recommended it. Same. And Colin Farrell his performance in it alone is worth the fucking watch. I agree with

you 100% I'm just annoyed that it has to be superhero IP. Agreed. But I agree, it's really good. Kristen Malati's incredible. Yes, yes. She's kind of the most interesting character. Totally. That episode four is crazy and also,

but have you finished it? No. There's like a flashback, they might give anything away, but it's Penguin as a kid and they cast some little kid who's like, yeah, ma, I'm gonna get you a penthouse. You're gonna be up by the Boyds, you know? And you're just like, oh, here it is.

But the truth is, for us, baseball is- I see this commercial constantly. Really? Everywhere. Baseball is a race, a default, and a precious reggaeton. It's a frat- debauch and a pre-fired reggaeton. It's a fracatac, and a focaccia. Sounds that don't need subtitles or translations. Tradition, I heard.

It's a long commercial. I know. Minute 30. It's like a 30 second version, that's what they're playing. Well, the country's over. I don't even speak the language but how good great good autumn that's a great ass if he's a real baseball fan he's a huge fan so that's cool and chains new but like that came oh let's see that yeah I'm just bringing up oh we got a guess okay damn our friends are really doing making moves it's cool we got our whiskey and we got our whiskey we're making moves to get's cool. We got our whiskey and we got our whiskey We're making moves too good peter luger, baby

And coming to more we just added a bunch of bars. So it's coming away more bars We were gonna get in. Hey, hey, what's shaking? Yeah, come on. Just come in Use the bathroom. Yeah back there. Hey, what's up, dude? Hey, what's up, man? What's up, dude, dude, thanks for doing it. Yeah, I'll see you in a sec. Hey, folks, we might be drunk and brought to you by Joy Mode. If you're going to be hanging out in the Mistletoe, you're going to want some Joy Mode. It's a natural and science-backed sexual supplement that will make sure you're ready for anything, any time, day or night. Happy holidays! Joy Mode comes with a powder packet.

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Great sex solved naturally. Hey. Sit down, I heard you like banana, so we were trying to do a banana. No pressure. Manhattan, no pressure to drink if you don't wanna drink. Oh, we got the real thing. You guys don't even know this about me, I don't drink.

Oh. I've never drank in my life. Well, we'll drink yours. Hell yeah. We'll try it and we'll tell you it's good. You gonna cheers on it? Well, let's pour the, he just mixed it. It's not gonna make it something normal, Mark.

Okay. I made a banana in honor of Hassen. We got you these in case you wanna potassium shot. Bonnie, a buddy of many years, X. Many years. Yeah. Dude, remember when we went to that Knick game years ago? Me, you, and Roy, that was fucking great.

We went, I think it was during okay crazy Hassan story right here. He took me to a game years years ago. Yeah poor Zingas his last game with the Knicks Whoa, I don't know if you remember this but yeah Steve Mills was the GM of the Knicks at the time and he was talking just came Roy Wood was there Yeah, with Neil Brennan. Yeah, Wow. It was a great crew. Yeah. And Roy and I are chilling and Steve Mills, the GM walks over to me and like not thinking, you know, like,

oh, they're in this like VIP room. Maybe they're worth talking to, whatever. And he starts chatting up, you know, Roy and myself. And I go, man, how about poor Zingus, man? Can't wait to have him back. And he goes, yeah, but what about Mitchell Robinson? I go, yeah, no, Mitchell's great, but like poor Zingus too.

And he was like, no, Mitchell. Poor Zingus got traded the next morning Robinson? I go, yeah, Mitchell's great, but like Porzingis too, and he was like, no, Mitchell, Porzingis got traded the next morning. Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like when you tell your friend, hey, your girlfriend's great, they're like, yeah, yeah, she's cheating on me. Cheers.

Hey. Hey, man. Mazel Tov. Congrats on the new Netflix special. Thank you, man. Hey, it's great! Oh, dude. I really watch with my wife, and we don't watch anything.

Holy shit. Yeah, we hate each other. But I never watch full specials, I'm gonna watch. Oh, dude really watch with my wife and we don't watch anything. Holy shit. Yeah, we hate each other But I never watch full special. I'm gonna watch. Oh, dude. Thank you at least close But the fact that you took the time. Holy shit, man. It's tough. Of course. All right We tried it the bank joke killed me like a politician like like a bank Killer. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good. It's a good angle. Hey, that's not bad I like it. What did you guys what's the I just we were waiting on walnut and black? Better than chocolate bitters to add to banana liqueur and our whiskey bodega cat

It's called a I think it's a banana bread Manhattan. Yeah Tastes pretty good though. I'm into it. I love banana. I heard you like banana. So I was like banana I love banana forgot you don't yeah banana caramel like caramel like on dessert to whoo throw one of those in the freezer Not bad, dude, and then you blend it with with peanut butter. This is some old man shit. Are you? Do it. Oh my god, I gotta cut it out on the road Are you like you know you got you just you hit that age where you're just like, I mean we have a really good blueberry I'm like, what the hell? But it's true. You're like, you have an amazing blueberry.

You're like, it's a great blueberry. You ever explain your decisions to a cashier at the grocery store and you're like, I'm the most uninteresting fucking. Totally. I was deciding whether or not to get an umbrella and I was like, I'm just not really an umbrella guy. And she's looking at me like, I don't care.

But I'm like, I do need one, but I'm never gonna use it. You become Biden at the register. She just watched it all and I was like, I am fucking awful. Yeah, yeah. But like, but I'm never gonna use it. She'd come by at the register. She just watched it all and I was like, I am fucking awful. Yeah, yeah. But okay, but in our defense though, do you ever have to, when you go to like a party with your ladies work friends.

Yes. And you're like, bro, there are fucking just goobers out here. Oh, boring. Yeah, just office banter. They're listening to this like, I thought we connected. No, not at all. Dude, I go to so many, fuck it,, dude. I go to so many fuck who cares

I go to so many like work events with my wife Yeah, she you know She's got her career and she's doing her thing and you got to go to the Christmas party got to go to the whatever And like they'll find out you're a comic they'll go, you know, I was in a band, right? Yeah, and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like cool man. Cool. What do you play? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah was like, man, this guy's really social. No, you don't think so? In that moment. But in your defense, all we do is like, No, man. Trump jokes, we got the Gaza shit. Like all we do is ingest all this dark shit

and real shit and serious shit that it's nice to go, this umbrella is a little too thick for me. This one's lighter though. That's nice to go minutiae every now and then. Yeah. That's why the Seinfeld show was fun. It was just like, we're talking about bullshit. And being quick, I was at a work thing with my wife,

and it was in Los Angeles, and I fucking hate Los Angeles. I hate going to LA, but we're in a building, and outside the window, it looked like, it was like a visual illusion, it looked like someone was about to jump off. Oh wow. But they're just on their roof. And so the guy goes, he goes, is that guy,

like, is he walking on the roof? I go, the part didn't go his way, so he's just. You know what I mean? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, ooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, is this a suicide joke? And they're like, but they get it.

Yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh, got it. They computed it, but they didn't get it. Yeah. Right. Mathematically, we understand what you've gone for. They're like, wait, that's dark. Oh, is that, oh, it's funny. Right, that's the story of my life.

You go to the wife's party or whatever, and you're like, it's weird that some pedophiles fuck story of my life. You go to the wife's party or whatever and you're like, it's weird that some pedophiles fuck little kids and some fuck little girls. Are they gay? And they're like, whoa! Right, right, right. Oh, I'm just bored out of my mind.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just being myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His wife worked for the Catholic church, so it's weird. By the way, I think teachers now fuck more kids than priests. I think percentage-wise, you might be onto something. I think I got something there.

I don't know. What's the thing? If you just look at New York Post headlines, you'd think teachers are just, like it's like 80% of teachers fucked. Totally. Yeah. That's all they do there.

Yeah. But I mean- Ban books from the library. They banned Stephen King books and they fucked their students. They fucked their students. This is really dark, but with the big conversation in schools right now at elementary schools, cause my daughter goes to elementary school is the the phones in school now

I'm not I don't actively participate now like dark I don't I don't participate in the comment section because it's weird because you'll have like civilians in the comment I'm not Check don't do that. I'm not gonna come in a blue check in a PTA con, right? I'm not gonna come in with a blue check. I'm not gonna come in with a blue check in a PTA conference. So the whole thing is they're like, my first grader needs to have a cell phone in the event that there's a school shooter.

Like I need to, and there's every part of me that wants to do like the bit and I'm like, I can't. You know what? Like you can't. What is your cell phone doing in the school shooting? Sam, you're reading the passing lane? People are gonna hear. Bro, you're Iverson reading the passing lane?

You're in the pass, I get it. I so wanna do, you're Iverson reading the passing lane? You're in the pass? I get it. I so want to do that. Yeah. On God. You know how AI was so good at that? Straight up. Yeah.

There's a guy with a gun, hold on a second. Police? Let me go live. They heard about it, yeah. We don't get enough credit for that too as comics. Like, hey, we can read the passing lane. Right. Like, the way you saw it, you anticipate it.

You're like, pass, fast break. But they, yeah. There's certain convos where they're like, they're not willing to engage break, but they, yeah, there's certain convos where they're like they're not willing to engage with that. Yeah, no, of course not. But I think the schools should ban phones. I think we don't need them, I don't know. The teachers got a phone, they can call the cops.

What are we doing here? It's like a comic show, bag them up. There's a whole, there is a whole. What's that thing they use at the shows to bag them up? Yonder. Yonder. You guys don't do Yonder? I don't nuts I'm too greedy. I need the money

An extra ten grand it's expensive. All right, you're right. Do you do it at every show? I do it if I know like I'm prepping for a special because people fucking they put out twelve minutes I'm like dude, I'm not that's true. Yeah, I don't think people you guys are you guys are you guys are super prolific Like if I have no 70 80 minutes I'm like this is all I brought do not please Yeah, I just I just did a benefit with Seinfeld somebody put his whole 60 minute set on on YouTube Yeah, and it's like a part of his new hour And you're like damn just in the balcony with a phone and the phones are really good now, too I know go full 4k. I watched the whole set. I liked it and shared it. The guy brought a boom.

He's just killing it. It's scary though, but every time I do a show with The Yonder, I've opened for a Chappelle a few times and it's like, the phones are back, you just feel free. You're like, fuck it, I'm gonna throw shit against the wall. It is old school, it feels like a great shoe. Air Max 90s shoes. Thank you, these are gonna be an inch and a half too.

Yeah. During sex. I need it. What? During sex. Yeah. I need it. What? During sex. Yeah, there you go. Do you, when you said you mentioned the food before, when you're on the road, is it like,

is food a big part of it? Yeah. Yeah. Well, if you don't drink, you gotta have something. You gotta have food, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm always trying to hit up the other comics, like where am I eating? But I also, you did a good job traveling with Veeder.

You got me off the hook. Everyone knows this. Yes, but you, like, I went from not being able to move any tickets at like Rooster Teeth Feathers comedy. Oh yeah, shout out. Shout out to Rooster Teeth. Heather's probably still there. I had some rough ones there.

Yeah, rough, they don't even have a green room. They don't have a green room. You're in the back fucking yard of Sunnyvale. Like you're in someone's backyard. To go from there to theaters and then I just, I totally didn't realize, I was like, yeah, you gotta have someone to travel with. Yeah.

Like it's the whole. It's huge. It's huge. Yeah, you need it. And your guy is a good comic. Veeders are great. Chill and knows restaurants. Yeah, who do you usually bring out?

I'll do like a combination. It'll be like friends or somebody local. Like I'll just like rotate it. Yeah, I like. I don't have a combination. It'll be like friends or somebody look like I'll just like rotate it Yeah, I like I don't have a person. I like the guy who's nice low maintenance, but it can also bounce bits You know you need the guy you can work shit out with like is that tag that needs a little help? What do you got on that and you know you don't want the guy? You don't really respect who's like hey you got to use this as a line. You're like oh Yeah, I got to stop using you

That's a brutal line. Are you volume you're like, ugh, I gotta stop using you. That's a brutal line. Are you volume? You're a volume guy, right? What do you mean? Like when it comes to like tags and bits, is your percentage really high? No. For me it's like 10% of what I... Same, probably 20 for me just because I throw all crazy shit against the wall because you never know what will hit. Sometimes I'm almost 20 years in, I'm still surprised. Like that line hit and this one didn't? But that's why comedy's great. What's your, you shoot pretty high. No, I whiff a ton.

I feel like you two, you two and Michelle Wolf. Wolf is pumping it out. Her like MLB, her batting, it's like, she's batting 340, 420, like Hall of Fame, like. I know. You know how in MLB they're like, if you're 300, you're like fucking great. She bats like 428.

She's so tiny. I'm just comfortable, I'm okay with bombing. I really am. Really? At the cellar. At the cellar? I'm not. Dude.

If I'm working on shit, no, it feels horrible, but I love going on those early shows when it's Quinn and Norden, and it's like, they're working on shit It's always topical. It's always interesting. Yeah, and I'm like, okay, I can work on shit, you know But how long have you been comfortable like that? Well, like I've watched you at the cellar do that and I'm like fuck bro. He doesn't panic No, no, no, no, me too. You'll start to see like my little the Hassan ticks and like yeah

He's getting big with his he he's moving his hands too. You can, you know, I'm nervous. I panic in here. There's, there's times up there. You're fucking great in the pocket. Yeah. You don't scramble. You're like, go back.

Everything's a sports reference. Dude, I have like, there's, there's like three things I know. Like there's only like three things I know, like deep, but. He's like, look at Sam up there avoiding the sack. Yeah. Good stuff. And he's like look at Sam up there avoiding the sack. Yeah He's a white quarterback You know what I mean and like when he starts scrambling you're like don't do it I'm in my Aaron Rodgers area right now. I think I've lost it, but no dude. He's Anthony Hernandez Oh wait, Aaron Hernandez

Ah damn it I fucked up Like the most Marksburg sack Like like like like the most marks Sorry like like white quarterbacks that scramble is like a white dude at at the Christmas party that gets on the dance floor It's like hey proceed with caution like if you're gonna dance. Yeah, you better fucking come correct. That's true Yeah, like cuz because if you're a white QB, you're competing with like a Cam Newton You're competing with like a bit like those are there's real. Yeah, I QB's that can scramble. I hate I hate bombing I really hate it. But it's like, I just, I also hate not having new shit

and I hate putting on a bad show for people that pay to see me. And like, and I also feel really guilty if they've heard bits before and stuff. And I don't know. I mean, I mean, how do you work out if you, cause you always have new shit. You gotta bomb.

I have to, yeah, yeah. I'm bombing. I'm just, I'm personally having a meltdown. You know what I mean? It's like I fucking feel horrible because we live in the birds, so it's just like. I know, once you move out there, I'm like, what the fuck is he doing?

I know. I got kids. I got kids, man. Dude, we were living in Hell's Kitchen for like eight years and I was pushing my daughter. You were living with Neemesh for a minute. For a minute. Bro, when I first moved to New York,

I was living with Neemesh, I was engaged. This is how fucking psychotic I was. I was engaged, like my wife had to walk past my roommates to like get. Yeah. Neemesh should crowd work with her on the way to the kitchen. He's like, Beena, what's up?

That's a pretty good Neemesh. You about to fuck Huston? Fucking her. What if she comes home and gets the wrong room? Man, Huston's out here. You guys about the wrong room? Man, Hudson's out here. You guys about the same build? Hudson's doing comedy for Indian nerds. I do comedy for Indians that do drugs.

Damn, dead on. No, that's one of my, like, I can do like four. Yeah. I can do like four prizes. That one's not gonna move tickets. Yeah. But yeah, he's not well known enough. But that's a great impression if you know Neemesh.

Check him out, Neemesh Patel. Neemesh Patelel. You know hilarious Yeah, you do you do act out. You don't do act outs right? No. I can't I'm stiff. I'm a fucking Animatronic doll I can't move Aaron Rodgers in the pocket. Thank you And I didn't get the vaccine hilarious. What's this YouTube video? Like quarterback throws in mobility destroyed now. It is crazy Like look there he goes, but he fucked up his Achilles, right?

You know more about football than me what's going on with him right now? I think he's just old age stage Yeah, he's old and he's like I think great athletes are the last ones to know they've lost it Yeah So I think we all believed him when he came to New York and was like I'm fucking turning this shit around and then he's just Old and dude the last two three years of any athlete is just it's rough any guys rough So say beautiful women and athletes die twice. Yes. Wait, what's the saying beautiful women and athletes? Damn damn WNBA player Damn. Damn.

WNBA player. Whew. Three times. Oh. God damn. Dude, I was at the Tyson fight, by the way. What? Oh, was that a mess?

Dude, it was surreal. Were you serious? I thought, okay, first of all, I think the undercard was a great fight. That was a great fight. That save. Oh, I didn't see that. So you were playing with house money.

Yeah, I don't know enough about fighting, but I feel like Serana won. Am I, like, I'm a noob. Maybe I'm like. Pull it up. Maybe I don't know. Oh, dude, I thought she totally won, and that was hilarious. a noob, maybe I'm like. Pull it up. Maybe I don't know. Oh dude, I thought she totally won, and that was hilarious, her trainer came on

and was just like, this woman's a dirty fighter. Came on the pod? No, it came on the mic there. Oh, okay. Dude, what's wild about the acoustics is you can't really hear what they're saying on the mic, the after, you can't hear it in the arena. But I felt like, I felt like Serrano was amazing.

And Taylor, from my understanding, just could lead with her head. It was kinda fuckin' dirty, the way she was. Wow, she looks a lot like Adam Ray, that's crazy. Wait, you were in Texas for this? I was in Texas. Oh shit. I flew in just for this, yes.

Wow! Yes, I went with a buddy of mine, yeah. Who really, really wanted to see the Tyson-Jake Paul fight. Yeah. Did you see any crazy celebs there? You see Shaq? Oh dude, Shaq was, let me just say this, people do not understand how famous Shaquille O'Neal is.

I understand. We get it. Yeah. But like, everybody, Gronk was there, Charlize Theron. She looks insane by the way. Yeah, yeah. So hot. Charlize Theron. She looks insane by the way. Yeah, yeah. So hot.

Incredible. But people are walking past Cedric the Entertainer, Mike Epps, Charlie. Like literally give their baby to Shaquille O'Neal. You know what I mean? By the way, what was Cedric the Entertainer doing there? He's sad. Cedric the Entertainer.

I know but he's on the mic. Did you think they busted him with like, they were like, he goes up into've been to 100 Mike Tyson fights. They're like, oh, which was your favorite? It was like when they asked Trump his favorite Bible verse. He goes, they're all great. Which one he goes, I like both of them.

That's great. Old Testament or New Testament, I like both of them. I was like, oh. That's great. And also like Rosie Perez was there. I was like, I love Rosie Perez. Is she just a fan? Is that what it was?

All right, let me just say this. Let me say, when black dudes come out for Fight Night, they're getting fits off. Look at that. Fur, hat, like it's Fight Night. Damn. It's a scene, man, it is a scene. It's really cool to see.

Do you know Jay Paul at all? I don't know any of the guys. I'm just a fan of. Who are you rooting for? Tyson. But everyone was rooting for Tyson. Of course. In a weird way, he was the, not in a weird way,

he's a legend, he's the hero. But I feel like Paul fully embraced being heel. Yeah. Yes, which I like. He's like, boomy. Yeah. I want you to boomy, he came out in the- The Bentley thing? Yeah, the low rider thing, and then he had the cage,

the pigeon in the cage. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I didn't even that's right. Yeah. I didn't even put that together. Yeah. Oh. I was wondering why he had a dove. You know what's so interesting too about it?

Like, everybody in the arena was, we kinda all had the hope, we're like, remember when Michael Jordan blocked Ron Mercer on the Bulls at 41? Yeah. So he comes down, he kinda gets swatted. There was like these last games that he had on the Wizards. Was he 41 at the time? He was 40 or 40, he was old.

But then he chases him down and two hand, blocks him off the glass, which was his fuckin' classic MJ. Pull it up. Yeah, look at this. Swatted, but wait, go back. Go back. See, this was the sad part of these years, is that he didn't have the vertical look on the fade

Swat oh damn look at this chase down Boom That is a bad ass just badass Boy, yeah, not on the stair down in the stair down just To two hands in the pull. Oh shit, that's Hubert Davis. Yeah. Whoa.

That's Hubie. But you see what I'm saying? He was angry. So this is what we wanted. Yeah, I'm like, you're not just gonna fucking swap me flat footed. Yeah, but guess what? There's a difference between 39, 40, and 58.

I know, I know. Damn. But what I'm saying is, it was funny that collectively we were- My emotion was there. This is where our emotion was at. This is what we wanted, like a big uppercut, a big like just touch

Them up not get a knockdown. Yes Collectively all rooting for a convicted rapist That is how unlikeable Jake Paul. He did his time. He did that's what it is He did his time and Jake Paul still feels it feels like he's getting away with something Well, you want the YouTube guy knocked out you want the blonde guy who's cocky and made his way through YouTube to get knocked out. You know what was so fire to see though, and it's still like, look, in round one, there was a moment where he touched Jake.

I saw, and he panics. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that. It was the feeling of like, oh no, no, I'm fucking, I'm playing Michael Jordan one-on-one. Right, right. You know what I mean? Yeah, I saw that it was the feeling of like oh no. No, I'm fucking I'm playing Michael Jordan one-on-one right right You know what I mean? Yeah, but Michael Michael Tyson has always been like this kid inside He's always been like a scared kid, and I feel like that came out in this fight You could see he was a killer in the 90s

He was like the scariest guy on the planet, and this was like oh you're sad little boy He's on the he's on the corner like crying a little bit. He was crying at one point. It killed me. Wait, J-Paul was crying? No, no, Tyson. Tyson was the sad little boy. Fuck man. It was brutal.

Yeah, but anyways, the environment, dude it's a must, it's a must see thing. Because it's America. Like even on the undercards, whatever country you're from, like if there's a Mexican fighter, all of the Mexicans will be there. There's a Puerto Rican, do you know what I mean? That's true. There's every ethnicity, every race, every like economic class. Yeah, yeah. It's all there.

I love that. It's a bummer. I feel like I have to support Jeffrey Epstein because he's a Jew. Also the stories, by the way, pull this up. Just pull up this Wikipedia. Bro, every fight is a story about America. Pull up 1981 Muhammad Ali, his last fight. Just read this Wikipedia.

Are you a huge boxing guy? I just like the lore of it. Like if you watched When We Were Kings, the documentary. I was just thinking that. I'm gonna watch it. It's the best doc. Come on, bro. Let's just read this.

Read how fucking crazy, when people are like, it's crazy now. Read how fucking crazy the story is. Muhammad Ali versus Trevor Burbick, billed as the drama in Bahama was a 10-round professional boxing match NASA Bahamas 11th the 1981 the fight went the distance with Burbank winning through unanimous decision on points now read the fucking background on This prior to the fight Ali claimed that he had been declared fit by even the best white doctors Fucking amazing great line nevertheless the venue for the fight NASA on the Bahamas was chosen because no American state would grant Ali a boxing license after his performance in the match with Larry Holmes.

Now at the time, I believe Ali was in his early 40s. The promoter of this fight was James Cornelius, a convicted felon with links to the Nation of Islam. However, a problem arose since Don King had signed up Burbank for a three-fight deal. When King arrived at NASA to demand his share of profits from the fight, he was greeted by two friends of Cornelius who administered a sound beating to King Wow. What's my movie exactly? Yes like what I like

Dude, this is America. It's like swindlers crooks hustling hustlers Fucking it's all of it. Yeah, you're right. I'm there to see that. It's that with the Yeah, you're right. I'm there to see that. It's that with the- I love that. I hear that. Throw the Colosseum in there in Rome. It's these gladiators.

Did you see the Trump fight? I call it the Trump fight. UFC. UFC at the Garden, yeah. John Jones gives him his belt. He bows to him. It felt like the gladiator bowing to the emperor in Rome in like, who knows what.

It's insane. Yeah, it's just a wild thing. It's a wild thing and it all goes back. We haven't changed as human beings. So are you guys watching the McMahon doc on Netflix? Yeah, we watched it. I jerked off to it. It was incredible.

Bro. Linda's part of Trump's cabinet. Did you see that? Right? Yeah. No, I didn't know that. She's secretary of education. Shut the fuck up.

That's fucking crazy. Wow, Tony Hitchcliffe's secretary of Puerto Rico. There we go. I hope you saw that. But dude. Vince is secretary of pooping on coworkers. Yo, wild. That one didn't really land, but you know what I mean?

The poop did. Trying to tag him. The poop at the chest. But dude, it's that, I would say that doc in my opinion, that's up there with the last dance, it's that good. It's great. That good. I mean.

But you know what? I've talked to friends, because I agree, I really loved it, but I've talked to, like Mike Lawrence is a good friend of mine, and Mike was like, you know Like for for casuals like you know great. It's a great doc But for wrestling fans like we're furious. We all knew this shit and it goes deeper like Vince is connected to murders We're casuals we're casuals is Linda getting tombstone. Yeah

How we get pulled off but I'm gonna play it anyway, yeah He's a fucking sport, huh? Wait, by the way, is this good? We can't really show this right cuz they there's dude We did an episode with Shane and soda where we all dressed as wrestlers and WWE had clear They had it pulled because we're dressed as that's hilarious They're all doing quail ouds hitting each other with chairs and we're the bad guys It's all but you know what's so wild is like, I also saw it through the lens of being a comic. You know how there's all this debate about like,

censorship and what the heck. Remember the episode where they talk about like, there was an era of Girls Gone Wild, Jerry Springer, of like, is this the moral depravity of society? Are we losing control of our children? It's like the same conversation we're having with like social media and kids. Do you see the parallels?

That's what I'm saying. I do think it is worse now. Okay, yeah. But I think you're right. But like the themes are the same. Yes. But what do you think is worse, Beavis and Butthead or kids all day like?

Beavis and Butthead is not that shit. That was 30 minutes. Well, the crazy part is I have a couple buddies I was like, bro, my six year old is in the back seat and you're posting just random, I don't know, I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is.

I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is.

I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is.

I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure what it friend because I was like, bro, my six year old is in the back seat and you're posting just random, lewd content. Yes, yes. You know what I mean, I have a six year old at the back and he goes, why'd you unfollow me? I think your comedy's hilarious. Right. I just can't have this.

He confronted you on the other side. Yeah, yeah. Oh really? He's my boy, we're boys. He's like, yo, is this a thing? And I'm like, dude, I just. He should get that. I text and drive, and I open up.

Like I am an irresponsible father, but I'm not that irresponsible. So I was just like, bro, your content is like, I can't, he'll see it from the back seat. That makes sense. So anyways, to answer your question about Beavis and Butthead, the point is, is that the fact that kids can just have pocket porn immediately.

There's no like. Bad news porn immediately, there's no like. Bad news. Yeah, there was no. There's no barrier to entry. The barrier to entry of like, you had your older brother had to give you the. Someone's done this, this bit's been done, yeah? I mean Ronnie Chang had the great bit of like,

Twitter's so bad for you, we're gonna look at it like smoking, like you used Twitter when you were pregnant. Great line. That's great. But it's all the same vein. Yeah, but Neemesh has a joke like that too, where he's just like, I was on social media six hours a day.

Like it will be like one of those. Remember how during that, they had the talking ones? Yeah. I thought that was RFK. No, but it really is like, you used to have to earn it. Yeah.

And now kids are gonna be in the shit sexually now that we didn't get into to our 40s. Of course, of course. Because they had acts, but also, you know, our parents can say that shit like, you know, they jerked off to Sears catalogs. We were on, we had internet. Yeah.

There's also the humiliation factor. I did, have you done Mello's podcast yet? I haven't. Bro, you gotta do, all right. They offered me a date and I couldn't do it and then they never asked me again. I was like a little hurt. Oh shit, all right, if you guys are watching,

Mero, reach out. Reach out. Yeah. Sam's gonna be great on it. Okay, but I asked him, I was like, cause Kyan, his youngest, basically just grew up on the internet and now they have mixtape highlights on the internet. And look, I'm not gonna lie,

growing up when I played, I've been dropped. I've been crossed up and dropped before, but it died that night. Yes. Like me getting dropped by some dude. Right. It happened, I got ridiculed, and we kept it moving, and I can then lie about it later

and be like, it never happened. Totally. But now it's like an eighth grader, you just get fucking double crossed and dropped, and it's on Hoops mixtape. And that's not- It's like etched in amber forever and you're like, dude I'm going through puberty.

Why? People kill themselves over that shit. Dude I used to have a bit about like how people say like bullying back in the day was worse. I'm like cyber bullying, like imagine getting catfish as a kid. What's worse, getting a wedgie or taking a bus to Syracuse thinking you met the one.

Yeah. Way worse. That's great. John of the Night has that book. Dude, by the way, I'm just jumping. You were on Seth Meyers the other night, bro. You were so good. Hey!

Doing the couches. You're one of the four people that watched it. Hey, man. I liked it. The other three are right here. No, but dude, doing the couches so hard. It's like, really? Oh, I was just saying, I think it's so much easier.

But you're great at it, is what I'm saying. You're great at it. It's like, the audience, they don't know, unless you're fucking Chappellrone or a huge celebrity, they kinda don't know who you are. But you did like within a six minute segment, you did four hard, like. Nice.

And stories. Yeah, I tried to be quick. Yeah bro, it was great. Well you've done a bunch of those panel things, I've seen you on Fallon, Stump Kill, and it's like, how prepped are you when you go in there? Well for me I know, and by the way this was your first time too, right? Well I did Daily Show and I did

the Letterman thing on Netflix. No, no, no, but your first time with Seth. Yeah, no, but I expected him to be awesome. You probably killed it. I know his style of comedy where he's like, he's so economical with words, so I feel like, yeah, he'll listen well. But the part, and people gotta watch this,

is if you look at it, generally, they gotta get to know you. But from your first joke, from the first time you pour out the bodega Cat, it's hitting with the studio audience. We've had friends that do their set with the studio audience and they're like, fucking suck. Definitely. Do you know what I mean? The stories are great, or the bits are great.

They just don't know who you are. It can be tough. You're not Zendaya, so they're just not like, ah! You know what I mean? True, you should get your friend to do a reaction video to this. Hey, this is a gay guy on Seth Meyers. But yeah, it was great.

But with Jimmy, man, for me, I'm like, all right, look, I got two segments. Just isolate up top. Just clear the ball, give me the ball up top. Yeah. Just isolate, just isolate, isolate. I do the Jeremy Lin wave off, just isolate, just isolate. The wave off. Yeah, just why so, just go, just give me the ball up top. People in the comments do it too. They're like, he just is steamrolling the set.

And I'm like, well, I got six minutes. Let me just, do you know what I mean? There is something still to be said. You know, we spent all this time working on these bits and stories and stuff. There is still something to be said when you do do it in that studio with like all the lights and the shine. Look at that suit there.

Is that like an orange suit? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There is still something to be said when you do it in that studio with all the lights and the shine. It's fun. Look at that suit there. Is that like an orange suit? That's crazy. Yeah, man. It's 30 Rock.

It's still show biz. It feels like show biz. I did a whole thing on the copper suit looking like my wife's IUD. Damn, look at that. That looks, that's swaggy as fuck. Yeah, bro. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Damn, I like the Riddler. Nice. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Damn, you're like the Riddler. Nice. Yeah, yeah. I like getting Riddler. Yeah, you wish. You're not that famous. The Riddler's killing it. The Riddler's on fire.

The Riddler's fucking crazy. He's cute. But yeah, the McManager, that dock was fucking incredible. Incredible. Who is, what's the, I'm not tapped into this. Oh really? Dude, I'm so. You don't know who the Riddler is? Dude, my algo's different. Dude. You's the, I'm not tapped into this. Oh really? Dude I'm so. You don't know who the Rizzler is?

Dude my algo's different. Dude. You whooped with him. My connection is I saw your Instagram photo. He was a big defensive liability. He cost us some big positions. Hilarious. No.

Have you guys already dissected your performance? No, there was no footage of it. I sucked. Really? That was terrible. But he, the Rizzler, we had Jamal Crawford on our team. He was incredible. You're like the biggest.

Bro, I love Jamal Crawford. I'm a huge fan. Bro, I love Jamal Crawford. But you're like the celebrity Kings fan, I feel like. Because he's a Sacramento guy. This is the beauty of being like an Ian Carmel and being a Blazers fan. When it's a smaller market, you're like a bigger deal.

Dude, there's four people from Sacramento. Who's another big Sacramento? Tom Hanks went to Sac State. There we go. They rep him, they're like, hey, you know he went to Sac State, right? Greta Gerwig, obviously. Lady Bird, shout out.

Me, and then like, who's the actress who played in Miss Marvel? What's, Brie Larson. Brie Larson went to like high school for two years. Okay. So I get, they roll out the red carpet for me. Really? Yeah, I'm number six on every Hollywood call sheet, but I'm fucking the king of Sacramento.

That's great. I rep it hard, I rep it hard. That was one of our original connections, because he goes so deep on the Knicks. And I respect that. He's not a casual, he's like a Knicks casual in that way. But we're good, bro, this year. Great comedy town, too.

I mean, I've been doing that punch line for years. That punch line's a great room to work out next to. Right by the mattress store. Yeah, people shit on it. It's above the mattress store, just to be accurate. But I think it actually is a workout room. Great. And I'm gonna get a little slander for this, too.

But I think to work out a new hour, the sack punch is a little bit stronger than the San Francisco punch. Ooh. Is it a little hot take? A little hot take. I do both, I do both. But I think, but I think.

You might be getting that hometown love. Yeah, I don't know. They're both great. There's also a feeling too where Sacramento as a city is like the rest of the United States. That's true. Do you see, you know what I'm saying? That's true. So like growing up when I went to high school, like yeah, one of my best friends, his dad is like the rest of the United States. That's true. Do you see, you know what I'm saying? That's true.

So like growing up when I went to high school, like yeah, one of my best friends, his dad is like a gun owner. Right. You know what I mean? It's libertarian, Republican. Yes. It's all of it.

And we're test-f. My dad's a professor. Right. You see what I mean? Yeah, yeah, of course. I always say it's like San Francisco's straight older brother. Hilarious. You know, it's just, it's got more realness to it.

Yeah. So if like your hour is killing like that there, you could run that same hour in Dallas or San Antonio. And you're good. Yeah, definitely. Every audience member for me in SEC looks like they do MMA. They're like a harder ed. Yeah, yeah. SF, I'm like, they don't use their hands much.

Yeah, I saw a biker gang last time I was there. It's definitely more of America. Well, also, so the fact that you've noticed that, right? That like every dude there kinda is a little bit of like a brawler. It's why when I moved to New York, I fucked with Nick's fans. Because you guys are kinda like,

as in Nick's fans respect John Stark's Anthony Mason energy. Yes. Like if you have that bravado, like you get respect, that's the same way Kings fans are. Like we love Lottie, we love, yeah, just like kind of like Bruisers,

Peja, Bibby, Doug Christie. C-Web. Like kind of hard-nosed players. That was a cool team. It was a cool team. The dope team. Yeah. Yeah. You guys got hockey over there too.

Does Sacramento have a hockey team? No, we're getting the A's before they move to Vegas, which is a weird thing. What? Yeah, yeah. Weird. We're like the foster care for the A's. Right, right.

We're like, we were a loving household for a couple years. Yeah, because Oakland lost everything. Some of these owners, man, they're just really. Do you guys do good in Vegas? Do you guys play, I fucking bomb in Vegas. Vegas is tough. I'm not a good Vegas guy. It depends.

It kills my morale. You have to go broad in Vegas. But when you get the residents. But I feel like you guys are, there's no crowd you can't kill in front of. Eh, that's true. Really? You should've seen me last night.

That's not true. In't kill in front of you. Really? You should have seen me last night. That's not true. In your bag, in your bag. No, I mean look, Vegas I've had, I think coming up in Vegas was brutal. Like when, but like last couple of times it been good because I feel like I got a lot of locals. I feel locals are the key.

You might be such a big act over there that you're getting people like coming in. Yeah dude, it's, yeah, it's the worst city on my tour. I'm like, fuck. Really? Yeah, bro, Atlantic City. Vegas is your least favorite? Atlantic City treated me better. Wow, because it's still Jersey.

Yeah, AC's still Jersey and you're still getting a lot of Philly people and stuff. Right. It's a little different. Yeah, that's sad. Here's another few cities where I'm like, and look, no disrespect. Here we go. I'm coming. No, shitless.

Shitless, and listen, I'm saying this from a place of love, I wanna, and look, no disrespect. Here we go. I'm coming. Shitless. Shitless. And listen, I'm saying this from a place of love. I wanna have a great show. Yeah. Like I'm leaving my family to be here. Dude, I bomb in Albany so bad. Albany's rough.

I bomb in Buffalo so bad. Damn. Don't get me started on Syracuse. And I bomb in Syracuse. Woo, that works. Now look, it's on me, it's on me. They're killers, but I bomb so fucking bad. Albany's hit or miss.

The egg is sick though. The egg is cool. I like the egg. That's in Syracuse? No, that's Albany. Albany. That's legendary, but yeah, man, that Albany phone. Yeah, I've had some rough times there. Syracuse funny bone was one of my worst. I remember I walked like so many people.

I remember my agent called me, she goes, you walked 40 people last night? What? And she goes, what did you do? And I was like, my act? Yeah. He just didn't like, what do you want me to do? It was not like I was like, fuck you, motherfucker. I just bombed. But, yeah.

40 people. Buffalo I like, actually. I think Buffalo's really cool. You did the special at the Den, at the Den Theater in Chicago. Yeah, that's a cool venue. Chicago's, we were just saying. I think that's one of your best specials.

Thanks, man. I look back and, eh. Really? No, you got some classic bits in that. In my opinion. Thank you, man. I look back and I'm like, eh. Really? No, you got some classic bits in that. In my opinion. Thank you, bro. But the way that venue is designed is the opposite feeling that I get in Albany.

Well, what are your favorite cities to hit on the tour? Like, where do you murder? DC's incredible. Love DC. Bro, DC is like, from the DC improv to the theaters, like all of it. All great. Which is incredible. Love DC. Bro, DC is like, from the DC improv to the theaters, like all of it. All great. It's just great.

The Lincoln, the Warner. All of them are great. Great. He just did it with Show Wolf special there, he recorded it. Boston. Boston's killer. I think the Wilbur's one of the best.

I agree. I did my last one, I love the Wilbur. Top three. Oh that's a cool, she looks cool though. Nice curls. That's at the DC Improv. Is that the special? Yeah, I shot it there. Nice curls. Yeah, that's at the DC Improv. Is that the special?

Yeah, I shot it there. You went to the Improv, huh? Great, oh great. No backdrop? No. They let you use the logo. They said it's, oops, I shouldn't say it, they said it's to remove it.

Damn. I was like, all right, let's keep it. That's a weird. That's a weird markup. I know. Bro, you can't be talking money on the mic. Okay. It's gonna be like Rico Las with us.

You know how the rappers are in court right now? Wait, what happened with the rappers? So what happens is like, who's it? Young Thug, right? Young Thug is a court, you know? Yeah, they freed him, yeah, Young Thug's free. They freed Young Thug. Oh, I'm thinking of Lil Derp.

Bro, pull this footage up, this is crazy. Play the Young Thug court footage. And by the way, shout out to Josh Johnson who did like a whole hour. Oh, Josh is killing it. Shout out to Josh. He's footage. And by the way, shout out to Josh Johnson, who did like a whole hour. Oh, Josh is killing it. Shout out to Josh. He's prolific. Prolific, shout out to Josh Johnson.

He's correct. No, no, no, just go to YouTube Young Thug Court. Young Thug Court? Do they play the, it's like a sketch, bro. They play his music and like the judge and everybody's listening to it because he's implicating himself. Oh, that's great.

Yeah. This is his attorney. It's like, this is like us being like a bit. Yeah, exactly. He's loving it. Look at the Mitch McConnell motherfucker on the right. That's his attorney. But I just love how he's just like...

Which I would not be doing. If they were playing my bit in court I'd be like... But at least they play it. Remember in the Lenny Bruce trials they're reading the jokes. That's true. So he's like, that's not how I would say it. You messed, you're fucking up the delivery. And he's just smiling.

The security guard's guards enjoying a little so if you go down the rabbit hole then they'll go to reaction shots too it's just it's like bro it's like it's like a Chappelle show level sketch it really is it really yeah some people are like do this it's just c-span footage of this Wow so he he won the trial. Look at this older, like white light. This is, bro, you could not cast, the casting on this is so good.

You remember old episodes of Workaholics? Yeah. I would ask Adam to find them. I'm like, how did you find these characters? It is straight up Cartoon Network. Yeah. It's fucking TNT characters welcome on your show. And he's like, oh yeah, they would just come from the valley

Wow, but look at just look at the way you would amazing. Yeah, it's incredible. Oh white lady next to sideshow Mel Oh white ladies. Yeah, she's like what is happening? This is amazing. I Will say it's hard to hear the lyrics sometimes so you need the writing Yeah, yeah shout out to Joe Koy Joe Koy has a great bit about this song What do you say about this song. What does he say? About this song, the lifestyle. Jo Koy has a killer bit on just this and his last special. Wow.

Damn. But anyways, my point is, is that this is fucking, so truth is way better than fiction. Explain the RICO Act, how they're trying to catch you. RICO Act, roughly from what I understand, and I'm gonna get this a little bit wrong, is that there's a law that basically like in your music, or if you implicated yourself in a crime,

they can go back and then use that against you. Am I getting that right roughly, Sam, with the Rico Statute? If you're associated with the person, or like if you do communications, they can get you on a game charge. Yes, yes. I think it was a good one. I missed it. But it's, if you're associated with a person, or like if you do communications, they can get you on a game charge. Yes, yes. I think it was originally-

They did this with Pablo Escobar as well. Yeah, you try to like- Escobar, great rapper though. That's great. But they were trying to implicate like your entire crew this way. Yeah, I think they started it for the mafia, like the Italian mafia.

Yes. That's how they got Capone. Yeah, so they got Al Capone through the Rico statutes. So anyways- Stiflis got him after that. That's true. Yeah, so they got Al Capone through the Rico statutes. So anyways. Stiflis got him after that. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right out of his brain.

So anyways, so I just didn't want you to get caught up when you're like, we pay f***ing money. You're in court and they're just like, let's just play We Might Be Drunk. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. And there's like a SAG-AFTRA representative to be like, really f***ing money. Oh, that's the least of his concern.

His wife leaves him, there's a lot of footage with this kid in the back. So how many kids you got? I got two. Okay. You're about to have a baby. I got a seven month pregnant wife. Wow.

Thank you, I'm terrified. I'm trying to live now. I'm writing all the material, doing all the pods. Bro. Going on trips. Thanks, I'm scared. Congratulations, bro. I mean, how do you do it with comedy?

What's the trick? Are we the same age? I'm 39. I'm 40. Oh great. Yeah man, you're gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be awesome.

That wasn't the answer he was looking for. How do you do it with comedy? Yeah, do you still getting up? I mean you put out specials. I mean like the thing is is that like you just get dialed in. Yeah. You're like I just can't fuck around.

Right. There's no fuck around time. Got it. So like if I'm at. Yeah. Yeah. 3PM. Yeah, yeah.

But you know what's really cool man? Selfishly for us, and Gaffigan will tell you this, you're just like oh there's seven minutes right there. Right, right, Seinfeld said the same thing. Gaffigan will tell you this, you're just like, oh there's seven minutes right there. Right, right, Seinfeld said the same thing. Gaffigan will tell you this, wear a suit. Yeah, that's a callback. Yeah. But then also, just to keep it real, man,

like, we gotta, life's about graduating. Like we did the 20s thing, we did the 30s thing. That's a good point. You know what I mean? Like when you, I'm not saying this just to like, whatever. Like Sam, you're so good at owning the bomb. Rock is good at this too, by the way. When Rock goes up to the cellar,

he is fucking unflappable when he's working on shit. But if you talk to like an open mic'er who's 23, they treat everything like it's like, so then I'm gonna do a late night set, and then he's gonna do everything. And so when I sometimes talk to them, I'm like, you gotta live through this. I can tell you how to, I can give you all the advice.

That's a good point. You have to live through it. But it makes me realize I'm so glad I graduated past this. I'm not playing that game anymore. So what I'm trying to say with the kids thing is you're gonna experience just new memories and the shit that we did in our 20s and 30s at Moon Tower when we stayed up all night.

That was cool. We did that. Now we're doing this. Yeah, you'll look at your baby and you'll forget all the good times we had. Well, I get such bad FOMO, but I think you're right. You gotta move on. I think so. Dude, you'll be a dope. You're gonna be a great dad. Oh, thanks. No, you're gonna be a great dad. Yeah but I think you're right. You gotta move on. I think some.

Dude, you'll be a dope. You're gonna be a great dad. Oh, thanks. No, you're gonna be a great dad. Yeah, I bet you're a great dad. I can see you be. What's the, what's the? My wife, my wife, my wife, she'll.

You can't say. Sorry honey, I gotta go to the Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you'll realize this too, I was just like, I can't stand on that. There's other people that'll be like, I would like to disagree on that. But I think I do my best.

But what's the complaint? That you're on the road too much, is that it? The complaint is that like. That's where the money is. There's, it's like this. Like having a comedy career, you have to be the showrunner of your career. So if like you've ever been in a comedy writer's

room, you're like, what are we doing, what's the take, what's the direction, what's the plan, what's the schedule? You're that, you're the fuckin' offensive coordinator for the whole thing, but to be a parent, you're also showrunning that thing. You're running two shows. You're running two shows. Your wife isn't running that, you don't think?

No, no, no, shout out to my wife, she is running that. But she wants, and I want to be a part of that, and it's just the pull of that. Got it, got it. See what I mean? It's the, man, it'd be really great if we go to that water park in New Jersey this weekend. Oh, but I'm doing Albany.

Right, right. And it's like, I wanna do, actually, I don't wanna be in Albany. I wanna be with y'all, but like, it's that constant. Got it, got it. That's the shitty part. That sucks. But the good thing about standup is you do have free time

maybe when she wouldn't. Yes. There's times when reasons drop in like. Facts. Days free. So yeah, thank you. I'm gonna play this in couples therapy by the way. No, but for real.

My drunk friend of the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey Sam, my drunk single friend. Are you seeing him? I'm seeing him. Okay, gotcha, respect. But, you know, Vitor, I have to hit him with all the time because, you know, Gary's got two kids,

he's on the road with me all, like we're doing the bus next year pretty hard and Gary's like, he feels a lot of guilt not being there. But he's a great dad when he is there and he's always checking in on FaceTime. Totally. You know, he's with other women, but they don't see that. Who are we to judge?

But you gotta make the money. The joke, by the way. It's one thing, yeah. Women want it both ways in some senses. You're like, eh, you gotta get the lights on. It's also just like, it doesn't even matter about the gender thing. It's just a resources thing of like,

all right, there's fucking 50 decisions we have to make. Like, all right, braces is this much, nanny is this much, like private schools, or whatever it is. Or like, it's just a numbers thing. It doesn't matter. I could be doing OnlyFans or Comic, what does it matter?

It doesn't have to be like, this- That jawline, you could be doing OnlyFans. There'd be like a niche market, cause there's not a lot of like Indian- What do you think you're showing off? You think like, feet or what are you doing? Butt? I would do like hair.

Hair is good. Hair fetish. Indians aren't known for the feet. I know there's people that are into body hair. Oh. You know what I mean? You're hairy. Me too, man.

I'm fuzzy. Yeah. I'm fuzzy. I'm hairy too. Indian hair is the best hair. Indian hair is the best. It's the most coveted hair. Beautiful head.

You got a great, look at that hairline. It's fucking crazy. Bro, thank you. I know. Like hey, I got luck great, look at that hairline. That's fucking crazy. Bro, thank you. I know. Like hey, I got lucked out. If you fail in comedy, you could sell that. I can sell it. And you'd be cleaning up.

For sure. For sure. Was I supposed to bring in a bit? If you got one. We could, yeah. Like I'm half baked. Not ready yet. I don't even have, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, we do bits, wrecks, and peeves on here. Okay. Speaking of bombing, I saw Louie bombing for a good month, and I'll say this to the camera, he was dying up there. And now I saw him two nights ago, it's all working. Yeah. The same shit. It is pretty cool to watch.

It's incredible to watch. That's incredible, man. He gave me- Can you turn around a bit like that? Yeah. It takes me, sometimes it takes six months, sometimes I get it in a week, it's all over the road. Mark is being humble, I do think of all my friends who have a premise,

he sticks with it as well as anybody. Like he will have a bit not working and then it'll just be fucking, like I'll just see one day like, holy shit. I didn't, and I always believe in it, but I'm also like, there's times when I'm like, oh, I didn't see it there. Like I just, you know, if you find something funny,

clearly there's something there and you're just not articulating it, but the way he sticks with it is pretty cool. And there's also the, it's always the what's the link that I'm missing. I know. Oh, it's just the link. The puzzle piece that's right there.

Okay, has somebody done that? Somebody's done this bit, but. The arrow in the head um the arrow in the head Remember when you were in elementary school like the fastest kid in your class mmm was the the biggest Speed in third grade was the biggest flex. Yeah world like I remember at recess It'd be like do you remember the fastest kid in your class? I do.

Yeah, you know him by name. Tony Champagne. That's what I'm saying. So there's something in this idea. I've been trying to fucking crack this bit for a year. It's very male. I don't think women were sitting around like, she's quick. But maybe that's the angle.

But girls would come. Girls would come to recess. Ah ha. All the way down at recess. That's true. And it was like, I will race you. Yes. And then to get older.

There's something in this idea. I like it, I like it. Because like. Well when you're young it's racing, when you're older it's fighting I think. Like eighth grade, like who's the toughest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so it's like fight or flight.

What's the currency like now? Money. Money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Success. I'm trying to think of the, do you know what I mean? The thing that's not. The easy punch line at the end would be, and now I'm fast and my wife hates it That's too easy. Yeah, there's some relatable for sure about in like in the vein of the you ever do this where you're like

This is how my brain works. Mm-hmm. I Almost hear it like a song. I'm like, I know the joke is gonna go like this. I'm gonna produce a song like this. So like a little bit of this bit I know, I have to pepper it up top the way Cosby did the dentist thing. Because it is a remember, you remember when joke? And there's so there's like, there could be a crowd work element of like, who was it? Is it Nick?

And you remember like, I'll meet you at recess. And then the idea of just like random 20 minute break where we would somehow fucking organize this Florida Flies fucking fight. You know what I mean? This match. And then maybe there's like a way to be like, you can't do that as adults, be like, chase me.

Like my kids, the idea of like chase me, they're like, hey, chase me. They think it's so fucking great. Like my son could probably be like, hey, will you chase me? And be like, all right, I'll chase you. But like, you do that now. It's a skill that doesn't translate to adulthood.

Like there's no use for being fast. Unless you're the Olympics. That's really the only way is to go all the way with it. But there's like five people that know it. Is there some primal like thing in our amygdala of like, no speed means you can be the leader of the pack. I was so impressive. I don't know, it's like, goes back to the hunter-gatherer

days, you could chase a gazelle, who the hell knows, or you can get away from an enemy. But at age seven, why did we? I don't know. Well, sex wasn't introduced yet. That's what I think, you're like this, you're focused so, you have a small bubble when you're a kid. So speed was everything.

No woman now is like, does he have a lot of money? No, but he's like a fucking cheetah, dude. That's what I'm saying. He's so fast, yeah. Money and sex come into your life later, and you're like, fuck running, this is important. And I think that's what the thing is as a kid, that was your world with speed.

So I'm out of the adult, I've been married, they'll be now like almost 10 years. What's the currency that matters? Like I have friends that have told me that for some reason height is a big deal. Height's big. That's for getting laid though. They'll get eliminated from the love on height. Yeah, yeah. That's fucked up. Yeah, that was him. That was the kid in my school. Tony Champagne, you found him.

That's crazy. That was a friend of mine. Okay, look at this. Store manager at Ross Stores Inc. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, shout out Tony my old pal, but Tony champagne jr Like in the third grade bro that like being the fastest kid in your class was like yeah I'm a I'm a I'm a partner at Aiken Gump like I'm the champagne of sprinters Run for his run. I mean running is in there. It's it's important. That's crazy This is also Tony champagne how many Tony champagnes in New Orleans do you think there are?

It's a common name. It also sounds like a guy who would fuck it over with money. Those are wildly different Tony Champagnes. That was the real Tony Champagne? That was the black guy. That's dope, man. Hey, Tony Champagne, you piece of shit.

You better make good on that bet. Ah, but that kid could run. Look at that right now. He never stopped running. And he was a good drawer. What's it like for you to meet people now, Sam? Like when you meet people to date. To go on dates?

You're kind of famous. That is tough. I've been on a date in a while, but there was a period where it was like, no one gives a shit. Really? No, I don't think anyone cared. But they just knew you were financially secure.

So they're like, uh and tall I guess Yeah, it didn't really do me that many unless Occasionally I get like I don't my brother thinks you're funny. I don't know who the fuck you are Like you know something like that was nothing this might be delicate do you ever match with someone on Raya? Who what have you ever matched? Yeah, of course yeah ever Why is that delicate because you have a girlfriend now? I don't want to oh, yeah I don't give a shit. Who'd you match with on Raya? Oh, I don't want to say that Rico's statues man. Yeah

No, I don't want to put people on blast there, you know, but uh Fine, it was Helen Mirren And I fucked her twice too. You know, want to know crazy, then I ran away champagne style You know this I felt I'm not on right, but I felt a certain way I had like a some Instagram clip that I put up for you know my channel and Helen hunt liked it But it was hell I love you like I do Oh let me let me ask you guys this what was your Helen Hawn? I love you like I do. Ha ha ha. She's a run dude. I thought that was a rabbit, but I was like, yeah. It's good to guess. It's good to the wet t-shirt.

Oh, let me ask you guys this. What was your, do you remember your first cartoon crush? Well, Jessica Rabbit is the obvious answer. That's tough. Mine was Anastasia. Anastasia. And it made me kind of like have a crush on Meg Ryan. Ah.

Because Meg Ryan was the voice of Anastasia. Right, right. Meg Ryan's cute. I don't know Anastasia. Meg Ryan was the voice of Anastasia. Right, right. Meg Ryan's cute. I don't know Anastasia. What Disney was that? It wasn't Disney. It was a darker animated movie. Oh.

Which was kind of like. Got it, got it. By the way, you guys watching, excuse me, no darker, you guys watching Penguin? Yes, just got into it. Oh, you guys already talked about it on the podcast. There's your girl. I think it's pretty good, man.

It's a good show. Is it good or great? I think when people were saying it man. It's a good show. Is it good or great? I think when people were saying it's in the same conversation like this, man, in the wire. Yeah. But it's a really good show. Colin Farrell alone is amazing. It carries the whole show.

It's a great show. Wow, he's so different. There's a lot of good. There's a lot of okay. So the fact that it was like good to great made it. Yeah. And you gotta love the IP juke they did of like, hey, you like Batman, huh?

Check this out. It has nothing to do with Batman. And also isn't it crazy, I'm on episode four right now, but there's no mention. Nothing. Of the Batman. They got us in with the name we know

and then they pulled the rug out. Do you feel there's a little bit, like what I like about it is the, it has a little bit of that Breaking Bad factor. Sure, sure. Of like at the end of every episode, he's cornered in some way. Yes.

And you're like, how is he? Yeah. It is fun to root for the bad guy a little bit. It is. And he's so fucked up that he's kind of an underdog. Have you guys seen the clip of him when he's rapping? I think it came out yesterday. What?

Of him in full penguin, play it. Him in full penguin. Uh-oh. But he's talking like think it came out yesterday of him in full penguin play it him in full penguin Oh He's talking like we'll carry When they wrapped production That's how I read I did the same thing. Yeah. Is it her?

We both did the pre-code joke. No, no, no, no, but it's like Colin Farrell like talking to the cast when they wrapped. Hello. Ah shit, it's gonna take me a second. Yeah, take a minute, but it's wild hearing him talk like Colin in the full prosthetics. Does there a?

Who plays. Kristen Moradi. She's amazing. She's great. Yeah, she's awesome. Layered character too. What do you guys, do you guys do the whole PS5 thing on the road? Do you guys do movies and drinks?

No, movies and booths. I'm doing the bus the whole run next year pretty much. Bus is so fun. And yeah, I bought so many fucking Blu-rays. It was, I'm texting Vitor, I'm like, what do you think about this one? He's like, dude, we gotta re-watch Caperays. It was, I'm texting Veeder, I'm like, what do you think about this one? He's like, dude, we gotta re-watch Cape Fear.

He wants to watch like De Niro. Oh, that's great. He's just picking out, dude, I got Deliverance for the South. I got, what else? Oh, fun. I got so many good ones coming. I just bought The Game with Michael Douglas. Oh, great.

That's a fun movie. Oh, that's great. Fincher directed that, right? That's right. Yes. I got some really good ones. I got some, I got fucking Manhunter and Thief. Oh, that's a fun movie. Oh, that's great. Fincher directed that, right? That's right. Yes. That's right. I got some really good ones. I got fucking Manhunter and Thief.

Nice, Michael Mann. Let me just say this, by the way. We gotta. Yeah, we gotta listen to that. Oh, Jesus, it's gonna be an hour. Plug your dates. Nah, man, let's do 10 minutes. Let's wind it down.

10 more minutes, let them know as we wind it down. Whoa. I like it. What was he gonna say? Fuck. Penguin. No, I like it. What was it gonna say? Fuck. Penguin. No, no, no. What were you talking about?

Melody. The tour bus? Tour bus, PS5. Dude, what I love about the movies, I love about the, no, but this comic that would open for me, Mackie Leaper, it was a very funny comic. Oh, I know Mackie.

Mackie's very funny. He was on that Amazon show too, right? Yeah, he was. Jury duty. Yeah. Mackie's super funny. But he brought a Nintendo Switch to the show too, right? Yeah, he did. Yeah. Mech is super funny. Yeah. But he brought a Nintendo Switch to the, like to the tour bus a couple years ago.

The graphics on the video, dude, it's unreal. So you should just, you should absolutely get like a PS5 Nintendo Switch. Which one is that? Is that the little one? You didn't like it? Well, no, I did, but I did it on the road with Aziz Ansari and I was with Mateo and he's such a little glitch bitch

He knows how to win every every little cheat code. Matteo is just doing like some shit I'm like, how the fuck are you in first place by this much? I'm so talented. You guys don't yeah, he is talented at everything. He is there's nothing He is back. We were on stage together the other night at the cellar and he's he's speaking French to an audience the other night, the seller, and he's speaking French to an audience. He's singing. While wearing a New York Knicks jersey. Yes!

Fucking ripped. He's got arms like Dwight Howard. And it's like. God damn. Those guns. Yeah. When he's bulking and cutting, it's just crazy. I play this clip of him and I.

Got my tape. This is freaky. Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it and I just feel so great. Whoa. Trippy, right? Blowing my tits off. I will miss the suit.

I will miss the suit. I'll be back in mind. Wow. Dude, he's had a crazy career because I feel like he was in a ton of shitty movies for a while and then he just like started just, he just got in a hot streak. Yeah. Kind of like McConaughey where it's like we know you're good you're just in a

lot of you can't always control what you're in yeah it's a hot guy problem but he was then he was an imbruge and I think everyone was like oh shit this guy is awesome killer let me just say this I love that you you're curating great movies let me just say one movie that I think is fucking great. Hot rack time. Okay, Any Given Sunday. That's fun. Oh, it's a classic. Who's the director of Any Given Sunday?

Oliver Stone. Stone. Oliver Stone. Yeah. He is slept on as a director. Yeah. Like, I don't think, is he ever- 4th of July. Is he put in the Quentin Tarantino,

Steven Spielberg conversation? No, he's not. People don't put Oliver Stone in that conversation. No, but he, but speaking of the Tarantino-Steelberg, he direct, didn't he do Natural Born Killers? Which Tarantino wrote the story, and he was like, I want nothing to do with. Also Stone just did that new Megalopolis,

and I think that was Coppola. Was it Coppola? Okay. No, he did Platoon, though. He did Wall Street. He did some doors. So I would say, I would say, like, if you look at the cinematography of Wall Street.

I think he wrote Scar Scarface by the way. And Any Given Sunday. Wow. You're just like, the tone of it's great. Any Given Sunday to me is like, I haven't seen a better football movie. Jamie Foxx was awesome. Fucking great, Willie Beamon's amazing.

Bill Bellamy is like a fucking great. LL Cool J is a running man. LL Cool J. That's right. They apparently legitimately got in a fight on set. LL Cool J and Jamie Foxx. So there's whole lore about them like in that scene where they're in the bathroom and they full on go at it.

Yeah and the story is like Oliver Stone just let it rip. Yeah. Just like yeah, yeah, just talk that shit like yeah. So they were both kind of, it's that beautiful thing of like they were in character cause LL is still kind of LL in that era. And then Jamie's kind of coming up. Yeah, an R&B singer and that like so he goes is great Dennis Quaid we were talking to hold on too long. He's like the easy older quarterback in that LL real badass a guy broke into his house. He beat him up fucking great. Well, that's by the way

Hey, if I'm gonna if I'm gonna do a pitch By the way, by the way LL if you want pitch, by the way, LL, if you wanna, would you guys have him on We Might Be Drunk? Of course, we'd love to have LL. He's on a pod run right now. LL Cool J. Really? There's two people that are doing podcast runs right now, let me just shout them out too, that are fucking killing it.

LL Cool J is ripping through every pod. I had no idea. This dude has stories. Like he's like, you wanna know how I recorded an album with Michael Jackson? You're like, what the fuck fuck where's this story comes? He's a Queens guy so L cool J's is doing is like ripping through podcast has amazing stories and Marlon Waynes Oh, we tried to get him. We have Marlon is like the same I met him at that skit super show

He's very cool, but I yeah his stories are insane too. I mean of course yeah He was like all his friends are to pocket and by another great movie with Marlon Waynes above the rim Oh, yeah, I'll get that for the I'm gonna get that for the bud Um, so you guys are just has to go Eve our guest has to go. Okay. All right We got a tour. I'm not on tour, but watch the special on Netflix, please There you go off with his head streaming now on Netflix. I'm really proud of it I think you'll enjoy. Thank you. I'm pumped to see I think you guys will enjoy it. Thank you guys Thanks for coming in man. That was great. Good chatting

We went deep. Yeah, Mark. Where you gonna be man? I'm gonna be all over the road I got Englewood, New Jersey. What is it? Oh got it. We just wrapped up Providence Now we're coming to Wilkes-Barre PA Englewood, New Jersey doing a run in Houston at the Improv, Polish This Hour, a run at the Stand Up Live in Phoenix, Dallas Improv in Addison, and the Ryman in Tennessee, Nashville. Where are you taping the special?

I don't know yet. I think I got three, Minneapolis, San Diego, Denver. Those are my three options. Let's talk about it. Okay, we'll talk. I want to hear your thoughts on each. I like it. Where are you at, there, Fetty?

Yeah, where are we starting? The eighth. The eighth of December. I just added a bunch of clubs to work out before I go on the theater, so I added San Antonio, January 3rd and 4th. We added Liberty Township, Ohio. Oh, yeah, I know it.

Yeah. Outside Cincinnati. January, yeah, right outside Cincinnati. Then we got Pittsburgh, January 23rd through 25th. And then we hit the fucking bus, baby. First two days, I think we're doing a runner, but Charlotte, Richmond, Philly, DC, Bethlehem, Tulsa, Austin, Dallas, Houston, New Orleans, Memphis.

It goes on and on. Knoxville, Nashville, Birmingham, Atlanta, Durham, New Haven, Providence, Portsmouth, Portland, Maine, Burlington, go to the website, Montreal, Toronto, goes on and on. I am hitting your city and if I'm not, I'll do it in the fall. Samorail.com slash shows or punchup.live slash mark norman, punchup.live slash samorail. We're on there, get some tickets, buy some bodega cat, we love you, watch Hassan special, our buddy and Salamanca. Anything to promote here?

Just page to stage. It's on Punch Up Live. You can buy it for three bucks. It's a documentary I made with Mark about writing one joke. And we did Michelle Wolf and we just did one with the Seinfeld appearance and all that. So we're cooking. Alright, well awesome. Love you guys.

Keep listening. Tell your friends and get some bodega cat. Hell yeah, comedy. Up on the roof like a cop's comin' And Naked Samuel is feelin' dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be drunk