We Might Be Drunk - Ep 211: Fortune Feimster & Josh Wolf

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

A Chelsea Lately reunion with Josh Wolf and Fortune Feimster coming together again. We talk about sports, comedy and so much more. Check out Fortune's new special on Netflix and Josh's new special on YouTube! Josh Wolf YouTube Special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGVUxQCEC_c Support the show and get a one-dollar-per-month trial period of Shopify at https://www.shopify.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD WMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ WMBD Clips Page: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Josh Wolf: https://www.comedianjoshwolf.com/ Fortune Feimster: https://www.fortunefeimster.com/ Sam Morril: YouTube Channel: @sammorril Instagram: https://instagram.com/sammorril/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: YouTube Channel: @marknormand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets We Might Be Drunk is produced by Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ @GothamProductionStudios Producer Matt Peters: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters/?hl=en   #wemightbedrunk #marknormand #sammorril #podcast #drunkpodcast #comedy #comedian #funny #gothampodcast

Oh, we are rolling. Hey, we might be drunk. Sam's making a drink. Should we do paper planes maybe? Oh yeah, sure. I didn't want to put you to work here. Can we get a... And hand me that seltzer.

Were you there, Matty? What's in here? That's yours. Just a seltzer, don't worry. Oh, perfect, okay. I'll take that one there. Yeah, we're literally here with Josh Wolfe. We're literally just talking drug stories with you.

Hell yeah. I did not know you were a drug guy. Yeah, big, way, like I stopped drinking years ago, but I've been taking drugs for 30 years. Hell yeah. And not a little bit of drugs. Like I like, and I not like Coke and stuff like that. I don't like that, but I like drugs that change your brain.

Yeah, same. Mushrooms, I like Ecstasy, I like acid. I did jump on that ketamine train for a little while. Choo choo. Isn't that the bad shit? Special K. It's not, I hated it. Really?

I didn't like it at all. Is it an upper? Or is that a tranquilizer? No, it's like a, yeah, it's like a tranquilizer. It's a dissociative and I don't, I like mushrooms cause I like seeing things or I like my brain thinking about things that it wouldn't normally.

Sure. So you're like, you're doing drugs to kind of like go somewhere interesting. You're not trying to just disconnect from society. I would take three grams before my Friday night shows. Wow. And I would just, I have a lot of them recorded on YouTube, and they're just, at some point, there was one show where I really was,

I kept talking to somebody over my shoulder, and finally somebody in the audience was like, who were you talking to? Oh. And I thought, because I tour with my son, I thought he was up there with me. He was not. He was not.

By the way, there's a lot of people in cities doing that right now. Most of them aren't charging a cover. Yeah. Not great to be in that situation. This whole city, man, it's hard. Sometimes I don't know if it's homeless people or somebody live streaming

that's true it's a fine line this whole city walking around I can't this is the I don't come here enough it always reminds me there it's like a such a mix between homeless and high fashion yeah they're not that far off they're somebody's using a scarf to look good and somebody's using it to wipe their ass too yeah that's a good point it's not that far off. They're somebody's using a scarf to look good and somebody's using it to wipe their ass. Yeah, it's a good point It's not that different when they're walking down the street There's a fine line between a hobo and dirty Elmo And they're pretty much the same thing if you didn't know who Leonardo DiCaprio was when he showed up in public You'd be like is that dude homeless right skinny fat with the

loose clothing Scarf looks good. Then you're like fuck autorotic asphyxiation. Yeah Not good. I've never been into that kind of shit. Is that Wow either one of you guys now? No potatoes Yeah The choking is crazy. Yeah with you David Carradine going out like that being the kung fu guy and going out like that is kind of rough. Although, feels kind of appropriate.

I mean, to get choked out to death and being the kung fu guy feels like it should be. Just a, it's a sad, but it's on your own. It's a tough legacy. It's a tough legacy because it's like, you were jacking off? Yeah. That just sucks. Yeah, that's true.

Not even a hooker, nothing? Yeah. I'm not into, I don't think any weird sex stuff. I don't mind looking at it, but I've never been a guy, I think the furthest my weird is is a finger in the ass. All right, that's pretty standard. That's standard, right?

Although I did have a friend of mine tell me, he lived in Germany for a while, and he was like, he's like, Germany's crazy, dude, because first dates, these women are putting their fingers in my ass. I'm like, first date? First date? Wow. Like the first time we're messing around,

he goes, every woman in Germany, that first time we're messing around, their finger goes right in my ass. I'm like, first? Make sure they wash their hands before dinner. Yeah. Out of the box?

Germany. Germany's weird. At least it's one finger, not nine. You're the best. All right. Yay. Comedy. Yeah, but wow.

That's, the Germans are fucked. I think first date finger in the ass feels like one step farther than I'd go. Yeah. I need to see, I need to know you well enough to actually have looked at your fingers. Yeah, right, right. How are your nails? What's the cleanliness?

And what if you propose? You slide a ring on that dirty index? By the way, I said finger in the ass means nothing before, but I'm like, I have told black friends of mine that are like, you're gay, dude. That's true. You ever tell Wilsol Vincey? They're like, what?

Well, Wilsol Vincey's been eating an apple. He's like, oh, that's fucking gay. I know. So. Yeah, there are some people who are like, if you eat a hot dog, it's gay. That's true. I mean, if you stick it in your asshole.

All right, all right. Like eating a hot dog. That's a big asshole. Maybe eye contact. Oh, yeah. It's like eye contact with a straw. I don't I think that's something I could probably How about you try to be sexy and you can't find the straw? Yeah, that whole thing I'm I've never tried to be sexy with a straw though. I haven't either I haven't tried to be sexy period. I was gonna say trying to be sexy doesn't feel like your move. No

What are you kidding? No way? This voice already the whole thing. We dirty talking. I would love to hear your dirty talk must be terrible It's a terrible horror And my wife likes it too, and I'm like, I don't make me do this. She's like be mean to me. I'm like yeah, you retard I'm like, ah, don't make me do this. She's like, be mean to me. And I'm like, yeah, you retard. And she's like, yeah. That's your dirty talk?

Retard? I don't want to be called a retard, I guess. So I thought that, yeah, you fucking idiot. Yeah, that's not dirty talk, dude. That's just, your dog looks like Pauly from Rocky. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Finish the drink, champ. I want you to eat a street light

and shit red, green, and yellow. Yeah, I'll do like the sweater, though. I want you to eat a street light and shit red, green, and yellow. Yeah I'll do like the sweater though. That's a good touch. Oh I did the coach. What are you guys making? This is a little paper plane. This is something we've been doing this in the pod for I want to say years now, right? Oh yeah.

This is kind of our go-to cocktails. It's pretty simple. It's a little bodega cat whiskey, Aperol, Amaro Nonino, and lemon juice. Fucking good. We like to think we put it on the map. This thing was slept on, this cocktail. I like the old school cocktails that no one really, like you know, obviously the classics are classics

for a reason, I love them in hand and I love a. Did you bartend at any point in time? I did catering for like a minute, but I was a shit bartender. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, I was a shit bartender. What? Sam with a job? I can't believe it. I had no idea you shit bartender. What? Sam with a job? I can't believe it.

I had no idea you ever worked. Did you ever have a day job? Oh, you kidding? Yeah, I moved furniture, I was a bus boy, I worked on a gopher on a construction site, I did meter entry, I did temping. I worked as a hamster for Richard Gere. I don't know.

I was a janitor, yeah, P. Diddy, I did cleanup. Did you, by janitor, yeah, P. Diddy, I did cleanup. Did you? By the way, man, people have been outing everybody who's ever been at a P. Diddy party. And let me just say, if in 2017, P. Diddy had been like, do you wanna come to a party? I'd have been like, yeah. Of course, same.

Yeah. Or Epstein's plane, by the way. Yep, yeah. I'd go on a private jet to an island. Hell yeah. They're trying to sell Diddy's place and it's like over 60. They're asking him like, that's pretty steep. But what we know happened in there. Yeah. Yeah.

Although for some people probably like deal. Maybe. Maybe. You got to do a whole gut reno though for that shit. You got to blacklight it. Yeah. Do you get the oil? Maybe they leave the oil in. That thing with the hey? Thank you cheers cheers ma's I? If I walked into a party and the first thing they handed me was baby oil I've been like this is probably not my party or is it no it's definitely not everybody gets their own baby oil

That's a lot of lube. It's a party favor Well, here's my thing with the diddy shit. I got the hall the hallway fistfight with the girl We got that on video everything else is hearsay speculation JLo and Leonardo and Bieber. I'm like give me some concrete Well, you did hear that Ashton Kutcher came out like last week or the week before. No, I didn't hear this. This is maybe the worst thing. He came out and said-

This guy's on a cold streak, by the way. Yeah. He just wrote the Danny Masch is in charge of the letter. This is getting him colder. He comes out and says, hey, Diddy might spread rumors about me and they're not true. I'm like, dude, this is-

Shouldn't have said that. That means guilty. Yeah, he got ahead of it. That's like you're going home to your girlfriend being like, somebody might call you and say they gave me a blow job. Right. That never happens.

Sounds like he's getting punked in the end. This is not... That's the worst, the longest punk. Yeah. He's like, I made you look stupid on camera. He's like, oh yeah, well I outed you as a possible rapist. Oh, they separated over this. Oh, that's horrible.

How much can you sit through? I mean, that's a hard one. For her, you mean how much can you sit through? Yeah. I agree. That's a, there's a breaking point. Cause I'm sure, I'm sure that Danny Mascherson note wasn't her idea. Ah, good point.

It is a, that's a bad look to know a guy's going away for rape, have him reach out to you and and go will you give me a character reference and you're like, yeah That's a friend That is a dumb friend Who you have something on that's that's also not it's not gonna help say it's like voting for Trump in New York New York's gonna go blue. Yeah,? But like, that doesn't help. He's still going to jail. Yeah, it's like the judge is gonna be like,

nah, you raped these women, but Ashton Kutcher is a fan. Yeah. I agree with you. How much do character references help with certain crimes? I think it's narcissism. I think it's like, I'm famous, this will help. That's good. I think we found out recently it hurts. Yeah. The famous part, I think we found out recently. That's good. I think we found out recently it hurts.

Yeah. The famous part, I think we found out recently. Like a celebrity endorsement ain't what it used to be. No. It's not at all what it used to be. No, as a matter of fact, it's almost a negative now. Still works with companies though. Like it seems like if something like,

if you see a commercial, you're like, oh shit. Works with Japan. George Clooney's Nespresso. Japan commercials, they still work. Like if Brad Pitt tries to sell something in, oh shit works in Japan. He's Nespresso. Yeah, Japan commercials They still work like Brad Pitt tries to sell something in Japan. I think that probably still okay Japan's 30 years behind they still like baseball I'm a huge baseball The Yankee the World Series over there was they watched it a million times more than we did

I heard that it was viewed more in Japan than it was over here way more that's crazy yeah but there's only seven people in Japan there's maybe more than seven after World War two 15.2 yeah that is a crazy amount and how many watch it here oh I think it said 14 so actually that's not a giant jump And how many watched it here? Oh, I think it said 14. So actually that's not a giant jump. Consider how many people leave here. How many people? 300 million people here and there's probably only 55 million there.

And then I wonder how many of the people here were Japanese. Oh, another good point. I still like baseball too though, I'm with you. How many Japanese? Here's what I like about baseball. To me it's my favorite sport to see live. I don't love it on TV, but you go out to the park. Same. It's great. Get a beer, a hot dog. You don't have to watch the whole game.

Yes. Even if you can fuck around with your friends. Yeah. I hate football live. It's not a good experience. Really? You don't think? Well, especially in New York, just getting there is a pain in the ass. True. Like the bus in the ass. True. The bus or the train. It's never good weather.

The stadium sucks. And there are some things, I like the close-up aspect of the football. Yeah. Slow motion. But are there any good seats at a football stadium? Nah. I like hockey, basketball, and baseball live. Good energy.

Hockey's the best. Hockey's incredible live. It's the biggest jump in improvement. Not even close because on TV, you can't see how fast they move and you can't appreciate how fucking big those guys are. Yeah. Those are huge dudes.

With the skates on too. Yeah, yeah and the hard ons. Yeah. Mostly me but like the speed and the size, on TV. You're like, okay, right But when you see them hit each other you're like, oh, I would be dead right now I saw UFC live and I didn't love that because we had good seats. It was me and Theo We went to some fight he knew Fourier they're like old friends or something So I was like you kind of see their feet and their thighs moving, but you can't really get a good grasp.

You're behind that cage. I didn't love it. I'd rather watch it at home. So it kind of looks like missionary. It's like you're watching somebody fuck in their apartment. Don't go behind the pillow. Like rear window. Someone just get murdered. Right, right. So you really, because you're below the ring. Yes. Yes, exactly. So you're kind of looking up and you miss a lot and then they go to the other side of really, because you're below the ring. Yes, yes, exactly. So you're kinda looking up and you miss a lot and then they go to the other side of the cage and you're like, oh, what's happening over there? It's not great.

Yeah, did you, what is that a picture of? That's our buddy Gary Veeder. He used to be, his dad was a con man. And he met all these selectives. And he would take him to sports games pretending they were Sports Illustrated for kids. What a crazy hairline that guy has. That's Gary with Mario Lemieux.

Yeah, that's how big hockey players are. That's Lemieux's hairline? Look at that, dude. That looks like a backwards wig. That is a crazy look. Well, that was this back when celebrities met something. Yeah. If you had a picture with Michael Jordan.

I think photographs back then meant way more. Listen, man, I remember, this is how old I am. I remember being real, real, real, real, real young and you would write a letter to an athlete and they would send you an autographed picture in the mail. Wow. And it was the coolest, now they probably weren't autographing him,

but it was the coolest. Who do you think's doing it, some intern? I, but, yeah. Probably. I'm a Red Sox guy. So I had written for Jim Rice and Fred Lins, those are old Red Sox dudes, autographs. And they send them back.

And I remember asking Jim Rice later about it. I was like, dude, I got your autograph in the mail. And he was like, that was a. That's hilarious. Oh. I did that when I was a kid. A lot of me. To the mail. And he was like, that wasn't. That's hilarious. Oh. I did that when I was a kid. To Saturday Night Live for Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon. No way.

Molly Shannon sent me an autograph. Hey. Probably not her. What picture did she use? She was like Mary Katherine. Yeah, that's the one you want. Yeah, yeah. No, I thought she was hilarious.

She was funny. She's awesome. She's for me, top for, especially without a doubt women who have ever been on SNL. She's for me, top four, especially, without a doubt, women who have ever been on SNL. She's just always funny. Yeah. And she's just good in everything. Yeah, I felt that same way about Kristen Wiig.

Wiig was insane. The first time I saw the baby hand sketch. Oh yeah. That's one of those, I can be like, I'm hard to remember laughing that hard at a sketch live Both attractive to if you really get down to the that's my guy right there Jim, right? There is that what that was he had hit a ball that hit that kid in the oh shut that is a Vietnam Right after they dropped nape yeah. And he was in his uniform.

That's the way he went over there. He's a patriot. He's running the chopper like the foe in Platoon, just getting gunned down. Oh wow, that kid looks fucked up. He went and grabbed him and brought him through the dugout. I remember that. That happened to a friend of mine at game once.

We were at a game where kids and Mike Lowell played with a Red Sox. Red Sox. But just when he played for the Yankees briefly, fouled a ball off, went like deep, hit a fucking one of those pole things, hit my friend right in the head. Woo! We were young, we were really young.

Huge bump or did he have the laces in his head? All I know is we didn't get to see the end of the game. Yeah, what a game. Damn. Fucking pussy with his big head. Ruined a hot ticket. Oh, that was the funeral Why didn't say those words exactly? That's basically the I mean come on

Basically the picture that's amazing that he grabbed the person. Yeah, that's a photo op. I always used to think about that those Screaming line drives into the stands. And the announcer would be like, there's a lucky fan. I'm like, how lucky really is that? Because even if they try to catch it with their hand. It hurts. Yeah, just a ground ball with your hand. Think about it now, people on their phones.

Back then you paid attention to the game. Yeah. Yeah. Now it's like you're on your phone, bam, you know. Well, they put up the screens, I think, in every stadium now. Yeah. Right? Yeah, right there. I think they put up the screens down on every stadium Because people were getting hit in the fucking head with a hardball Well you saw that I know it's old news now But the scene where the guy was pulling the ball out of that guy's glove yeah

That was I mean in Japan that wouldn't fly they would cut that that guy's hand off. That was, wasn't that in the World Series? Yeah, it was in the World Series, but it was so egregious. That was hilarious. Of course. That was a classic Yankee guy. Exactly, dude. That was so funny though.

Ah, you gotta love the crack of that bet. And you saw Gronk said he knew this guy. Oh no, look at this. Oh! He said he went to college with his friend. Can I tell you, now as a Red Sox fan, can I tell you what my favorite part of this World Series was,

and in the last few playoffs that the Yankees have been in? Them choking? There's nothing that as a Red Sox fan that I like more than cutting to sad Yankee fans in the stands. They are the saddest. There's no group of people that look sadder. And let me tell you something else that's crazy because my generation and this young generation,

so after the Yankees lost, right, I was actually in LA at the time and there was a Yankee fan in the hotel lobby and there's some Dodger fans. And the Yankee fan said something about 28 or 20, however many rings they have. And the Dodger, he was a kid, like 20, he goes, what are you talking about? The Yankees are like the 49ers, they can't win the big one. That's how long ago it was for this generation of people since the Yankees have won. And my thing about the 28th century.

Five in my lifetime is pretty good. Yeah, but dude, even dinosaurs walk the earth. Like it's been. That's a reach right there. It's been a while. That's a fucking. Look at this dude. That's my favorite.

We're going from five in the last 30 to the Big Bang now. This is bullshit. Is it five? Yeah. But it's the late 90s man. So you look at- And they won one in 09? You look at people that my son's age,

he's 27, right? That, 09, one, yeah, but mostly it's- Ooh! This is my favorite, man. You know what? I thought that was Parkland. You know what? That builds character.

That's good for the kid. Dude, as a Red Sox fan, I understand that picture very well. And also, pull up the Jeffrey, what's his name, the guy, the Baltimore Orioles game. Oh, Jeffrey. Jeffrey Mayer. Wow, good pull.

Man. Pull that stuff, because this is a fucking hilarious one. This is Yankee fans being absolute people of the shit. But this kid was a hero. He was. For a few days, because look at this. I mean, this is. What year?

96. Dude, I remember this so well me too. I was I was 10 years old This before our instant replay mark. So this this yeah good Okay, I Tony Tarasco Pops it back to the wall Kid stole it. That's a home run. Yeah He was a hero he was a hero. He was a hero. He was a hero.

Look at this kid right there. Look at that. Oh, that was interference. That's totally interference. That's every moment as a kid you want. You're like, I helped the Yankees win. By the way, a thousand percent that kid has a podcast right now. Ah ha ha ha.

I got to ask, remember Jim Larritz? Yes. He was like the Yankees hired assassin. Do you remember him? Jim Larritz, the third baseman? He was a DH toward the end. He was the guy they just called up because he was clutch. Yeah. Like he didn't do shit in the regular season but he would always hit the big shot. He wiggled the bat. So I got hit up to do his podcast years ago and I wonder what Jim Larritz has been up to and it was like he killed someone in a drunk driving accident Because he lost the clutch gene

Wow was that the name of the podcast Shit but he was a fucking isn't he the guy who hit the home run off the Braves. Yeah, I'm mark. Waller's I He was clutch as hell. Yeah, this was not I'd hate this this dude always hit the big one Yeah, I mean he was like and this was the last stance to is so cool Jimmy Larritz Jim Mark Waller's dude, oh Waller's up to that point was as money as any closer ever and he never had a good game like a good, he broke him.

That game fucking broke him. I faced him in high school. Come on. Wallers? So you're a good baseball player. I was alright. I faced him in high school. I played some college baseball and I faced him in high school. I played some college baseball. And I faced him in high school.

And he pitched for Holyoke. And I grew up in Amherst. And man, it was like 34 degrees. And with those metal bats. And he was pumping 92, 93. Nobody even wanted to, the first kid who swung a bat, that foul ball, he walked back, he was like, it hurts so much.

We were all like, mom, I'm not even gonna try to touch the ball. He was, it was crazy how hard he was thrown. That's what I see baseball players get hit by a hundred mile per hour balls. I'm like, how do you not just break a bone? Especially in the back or the ribs or the wrist. I played for a school called Trinity,

but there's an actual guy named Josh Wolf. I think he got drafted by the Mets. Oh, damn. But. Just live in a different, there's a guy in the cast who's Sam Harrell. You know, I was, I played baseball for a school before the internet.

Yeah. Yeah. But I can pull up a picture on my phone if you want to see it. All right. But yeah, man, I. How was the trim with the college baseball? Were you just cleaning up?

No. I went to school in Texas, and I had really long hair at the time. Good, all right. And first of all, my coach was casually racist. He was this dude named Slim. We called him Slim and he was, okay. So he was trying to, every time he would give us,

he would prep us for what team we were playing. And he was like, so guys, this next team we're playing, they got a lot of skill players. And we were like, skill players. That doesn't sound so bad. And he was like, you know, skill players. You know, like five tool skill players.

And I was like, we were all like, what are you talking about? He's like, a lot of them are black. And I was like, oh, all right. By the way, that's an complimentary race. Yeah. I had a coach and he was way, he would go way harder, but like he would fuck with all of us. That was his thing.

We loved him, but it was a black kid, good friend of mine. And he would call him California raisin. And I was like, ooh, good friend of mine, and he would call him California Raisin. And I was like, ooh, is that it? And then when he would call him on it, he goes, you're fucking racist. He'd be like, oh, I'm racist? I played college baseball at this school. This many black kids, this many Christians, one Jew.

I don't think that's doing the work he thinks it's doing. But God bless him, he was the best. Yeah. By the way, he's just doing the work. But God bless him, he was the best. Yeah. By the way, I was the one Jew, I went to college in San Antonio. You don't seem Jewish. You hide your Judaism like Anne Frank. Can I?

I mean, this is insane. I am, I'm whispering in the attic. The camo hat, the hoodie, the high top. I never would've, I see Wolf. 100% Jewish, got bar mitzvahed. When I was in college, my roommate had, I went to his house for Thanksgiving and he had a relative who had never seen a Jew before

and he was just staring at me. And I was just, over, he was the whole week. The Annie Hall scene. So one day I just look at him, and I go what's going on He goes I just never I just never seen a Jew before yeah, but you don't look at particularly Jewish That's what I said. I go what do you think he goes not what I thought you'd look So you're you say by the way like we need vegan food. You're like But you're like a black albino where somebody could be like these fucking heaves

I'll tell you and they're saying it to you, and you're like you don't know that I'm One of them get a lot of Jew jokes. I I love the fact when people say you don't look Jewish People ask me does that bother you? I'm like no I take it as a compliment. I know what they mean Curly hair and big nose and no chin and saggy face. Yeah Take a compliment that you don't look Jewish. Thank God. Yeah That to me is a huge compliment. Hey, no the Adam Brody is very attractive scene. This is the classic Yeah, so good for 15 years I don't want to look like that. You don't act like that either You don't want to act like that either. God damn is that a great movie.

Great fucking movie. Oh good. Great. It's, I'm with, watching his movies is kind of like listening to Michael Jackson's music for me. It's like, fuck. I still love it. Right?

Yeah, it's great. I mean, talent is talent. I don't, you know, we can separate. That's right. I don't have to watch him Dittle yeah, exactly. I built Rothless burger was a doing who knows what but he could still play we know what yeah You see you fan no I'm just I just use example of a feeler fan just have to be like that's our guy if it had happened now

It had been at such a much bigger deal with social media Like some of that stuff those dudes who got away with shit, it just kind of went away. That's true. Pre-Me Too. I mean look at Clinton pre-Me Too versus after. It's like, I guess it's settled down a little bit. The vibe is a little different.

Look at Bill Cosby. Yeah. Oh yeah. I said to somebody once, they were like, who's one of your favorite comics? I said, Bill Cosby, pre-rape, and I was like, well actually there's no pre-rape, there's probably during-rape.

Probably. Pre-R knowledge. Yeah, pre-R knowledge. But like, people got away with shit or it just kind of went away. Yeah. There was no way for it to spread like wildfire like there is now.

True. All it took is Hannibal to tell right right well it makes you wonder who's next like is the Tom Hanks shoe gonna drop or Your tongue Tom Hanks thing is bullshit. Yeah, I'm just saying Hanks thing. That's what I'm saying I don't the QAnon things I don't think I had a file either, but I was just throwing out an example But I was just throwing out an example of a beloved guy. Why does that have any legitimacy? Why are we like, queuing on reports? Like they're fucking... This is what I'm saying. The problem is right now is that you can be any news source and report,

and then somebody's gonna be like, I believe it. Yes. Well, you want to believe it. It's juicy. I don't want to believe it with Tom Hanks. I love Tom Hanks. Me neither. I'm not saying I want to either, but I'm saying people enjoy that.'m sure people enjoy that dude That's like saying something bad about Dolly Parton people have schadenfreude I'm telling you like when Ellen gets pop for being a character guys like woo You know my what she was ever to you, but they love it away everybody whose boss hasn't been I love Dolly Parton human trafficking aside

You know I love Dolly Parton, human trafficking aside. That would be a juicy thing to start, wouldn't it? Hey! Hey, hey folks, we might be drunk as a body by Shopify. If your online store looks like garbage, people aren't going to order stuff. It's that simple. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet, Shopify's pay boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning less abandoned digital shopping carts and more sales. Your commerce platform needs to be wherever your customers are. On the web, in your store, in their feed and everywhere in between.

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Hi! I got you a drink right there if you want. Oh nice, I'm so sorry. Hey, great to see you. I was hoping I'm so sorry. Great to see you. I was hoping I would already start. It's funny, we talked about Dolly Parton and a lesbian shows up. It's like it has to happen.

Here I am. How the hell are you? You came straight from Kelly Clarkson? Yeah. Whoa, you got a lot of range. Listen, you know, Kelly. I hear she's awesome. She's really cool.

I love. Do you remember sharing a love for Kelly Clarkson? Absolutely, we talked. She's the coolest. She's really cool. I love her. Do you remember sharing a Kelly Clarkson, love for Kelly Clarkson? Absolutely, we talked about her all the time. On Chelsea's show. I've now done her TV show 10 times. Whoa. Wow.

Yeah, I love her. Okay. Wow. I wanna be able to see you. Have you sung with her? No, I tried, I angled for it today. And? She's like, that's so funny.

And I was like, cause we talked about, I sing with Alanis Morissette on stage, and I've sung with the chicks on stage. So we talked about that, and I was like, and if you ever want me to sing, and she's like, those are the funniest stories. I didn't know you sang. Are you a talented singer?

That was, the mic was hitting my man boo. I'm a shower singer, like karaoke, I can carry a tune. But yeah, that was it right there. This is amazing. Nicely done. This is you singing. That's me, well that's me coming out on stage. There's a whole lead up to it.

Let's get to it. Who's this? What is this? Oh, wow. We're some paper plane. Oh, I like paper planes, thank you. I love Alanis. That's me right there singing, guys.

Oh my God. Thanks, Sam. You know what, you played it down. Cause you gotta lower the bar. Are you nervous? I have eye contact. Singing with one of the grids. They told me to sing it to her

so I like stared into her eyes. Oh, are you guys gonna make out or scissor? I mean we're close. That would be amazing. My wife wouldn't like that. Actually my wife would be like, good for you. Yeah. She's ironic. I sang with Jewel.

Oh, you sang with Jewel? I sang a Backstreet Boys song with Jewel. Pull it up. Time pager. Oh please. Yeah, it. Winnie. Josh with Jewel. Pull it up! Oh please. Oh, Winnie. Josh Will, Jewel, yeah. She's underrated hot.

Jewel is one of, in person, was one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen in my entire life. Wow. I could not. There you are, look at us just singing with people. I didn't know you had to do it. Josh is a very good singer. He's a, look at us just singing with people. Josh is a very good singer, look at that.

Looks like the bad room at the Diddy party. What is going on here? Why are you dressed like this? I had a talk show for a minute and we had people come on to sing their guilty pleasure songs. Wow. What?

And so Jules, this was her guilty pleasure song one she had always on to sing their guilty pleasure songs. Wow. What? And so Jewel's, this was her guilty pleasure song, one she had always wanted to sing, so. Oh man. We dressed up and. I wish I'd never seen this. You and the durag, the wife theater. Yeah, your outfit's pretty intense. Not as Jewy as you.

No, no. The Jew is supposed to manage the boy band. Not be in it. Yeah, it was an interesting time. Yeah, she's great. I watched the whole documentary on her how she slept in her car. Her story is amazing. Incredible story. And what happened when her mom managed her

and her mom taking her money. That never works, by the way. Oh, I didn't know about that. Her story is amazing. There's never a good story with a parent managing. Yeah. My mom could never be in charge of my money. That would be hilarious. She'd be like, this is mine, right?

Yeah. She'd be like, is this how much you're making? That's true. Yeah, my dad was an educator his whole life. He would not believe, he was like, this is one weekend? Yeah. He would not be able to wrap his head around. Same, my mom would be like, you have to save this.

This is going into savings. Oh, my mom would be like, you're investing this? I'm like, no. I guess. Not anything? No, I invest a lot. Okay, good. I'm a Jew, I gotta do it.

See, now you don't look so Jewish. Neither do you. All right. We're undercover Jews. He's got the hair. That's our next BB show, Undercover Jews. We just. You're telling each other, he's got the hair. That's our next BB show, Undercover Jews. You're telling each other, you don't look so Jewish.

It's such a compliment. I know, thank you. Is it? Yeah, look how Jews really look. Ellen the Generous has moved to Great Britain. See, that's so mean of this lady. For real? Yeah, that's in the news.

Good for her, get out. Well if it's in the news, it must be true. Why is she doing it, cause it's Trump? Yeah. Oh. Probably still got a good life here though. She probably got five houses in the US. There's no way that she's moving full time.

She's just not living full time here. Right. You watch her special? I did, I watched it too. It was funny, but there was too much applause. I think as soon as she really started talking about what was happening with her, was when it fucking really kicked in as I was like,

oh, this is super interesting. You can tell her feelings were hurt. Like that was... Yeah. It was such a, from that spot was so good for me. Well, you gotta, it's progress that she was fired for being a lesbian and then she got fired, no one cared about the lesbian thing,

then she got fired for being mean. That's progress. That is progress. You don't care if you're gay, just don't be a dick. Yeah. She's a cunt, you are what you eat. Oh, there you go. I had to get that out.

Come on now. Well, I guess we're not cunts, Mark. You know what I was thinking about, there are so many things that we did on Chelsea show that it's such a good thing they aren't on the internet. I thought you and Blackface was a bad look, but. Oh no, I'm like, did that happen? There was a lot of things,

I feel like a lot of things, jokes she made. Oh my God. That probably are good that they're not. Do you remember the sketch we did? Pull it up. It's not on the internet. They wiped the internet with her show. But like a long time ago, not in recent times.

We did a sketch, remember where the two Asian people who worked at the office carried us around on rickshaws? Now we did not, you did. I did. That's good. No. I was not in that one. They carried us on rickshaws, they dubbed the Asian people's voice

with white people's voices, and the name of the sketch was, Arrive Me Arone, and then a gong would hit. I think I had forgotten that from my memory. What were the sketches you shut down? Dude, none. There were none?

If she, this is what was great about that, especially the first couple years. It was such a, it was one of the lowest ranks. Josh was over there in the good old days. Yeah, that show was huge, by the way. But there was no notes those first couple years because it was so lowly rated. Yeah.

That they were just like, yeah, do whatever. Right. And she pushed the envelope. But then the show became huge. Yeah. Yeah. When I joined, they were like the Beatles. Yeah. And I was like, what's happening?

It broke something. Joe Coy and Moshe Kasher and Natasha Ligero and you guys. I mean, Sarah Colonna, Heather MacDonald. Yeah, it was kind of crazy. And she really, in the room, especially the first couple years, it got different as it. But in the room, if it was weird and she really, in the room, especially the first couple years, it got different as it, but in the room, if it was weird and she thought it was be kind of funny, she'd be like, yeah, let's do it.

Yeah. Yeah. It was just kind of like whatever you came up with, ended up on TV. I played a lot of, I did a lot of celebrities. Yeah. I played Adele. Ah. Obviously.

Singer. Christina Aguilera, Honey Boo Boo. Honey Boo Boo's mom. Honey Boo Boo is you kids are listening pre-Risler. That was kind of what that was. I played Amanda Bynes. I played a lot of people that I looked nothing like. And the men, it was reversed, however sexually harassed or exploited she had felt women had been

is what she was doing to dudes. So we were the ones that wore skirts, shirtless. We were the ones who were being sexualized and she did not, she did one show, man. But for you, you're like very fit. I feel like it was all right for you. Yeah, he was fine to do it. I was fine to do it.

I'm gonna show you, I'll take my shirt off. She did things like, she would humiliate dudes. There was one show, she didn't like Bobby Lee's first two jokes. So she was like, Bobby, get under the desk for the next, I don't like these jokes. Tell your jokes from underneath the desk. And then carry the rickshaw.

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha. But yes, she was, she was, the first thing she said to Ryan Lochte when he came out for an interview, remember who he was? The swimmer. But he was not the brightest.

And he was also like the other, Michael Phelps was the guy. Yeah. No matter how good you were, you were kind of in his shadow. And he was not known to be the brightest person. He sat down for the interview and the first thing

she said to him was, so do you think you're stupid? Oh, I don't remember that either. I forgot, what do you say? I forget, I was laughing too hard. I can't believe, you've gone to be kidding me. She said that? She, yeah, she was. The only impression I didn't get to do,

which I thought was a good idea, and they had pitched me the idea of playing Girl Fieri. Oh, that's fun. So the girl version of Guy Fieri. And they ended up taking, they pitched it, and I was like, that's a good idea. And then they had somebody else play Guy Fieri.

I'm like, well, that's not funny. You're just having someone play Guy Fieri, but he has a sister with a goatee named Girl Fieri? That's funny. That's funny. Yeah, that's funny. And the thing that we would have Chewie, which was her little Mexican sidekick, do.

Little guy? Dude, first of all, he would always ask, how much does the Holocaust? Ah, that's fun. Which was fun. That's a fun line. Always, and then we would always put him in a diaper. Remember he would dress up like a baby

and put him in a little diaper. This feels like 50 years ago. Where did Chewie come from? What happened, where did she come from? He had done porn before. No. Yeah. He is still on the internet.

Pull it up. Yeah, he is still on the internet, yeah. Chewie. Yeah, he was in porn. This guy's got a real Forrest Gump-like life. Yeah. But he, when he was on this show, he was still so popular with girls.

They threw themselves at him. Come on. Did you ever walk into the airport with him? Oh yeah. It was like walking through with Elvis. Yeah. What? And he just- Or like, Elvis.

Have his hand on his butt. Oh! Remember where he would put his hand? If he was standing next to a woman, his hand would come right. Oh, wow. Here we are. He's not just on a pole to hit Jeffrey Toobin. CHUY.

Yeah, make sure you get the spelling right on Pornhub. CHUY. Don't act like you've never searched the phone. No grammatical errors on Pornhub, please. Wait, I cut you. What were you gonna say about Chewie? Oh, just that he was always, he was right in line with ladies' butts. So, he would just naturally land on the butts. It does feel like a different lifetime.

I mean, it feels like a thousand years ago, for sure. But now, here's the annoying question that I gotta bring up, because I'm a cunt. This is still funny. The Rick Shaw thing is funny. What do we do now? Because you can't have this on TV but it's still we still find it funny like Chelsea is still this person but I know she can't be that person in the public eye. So what do you do now to be funny? Do you just go on the internet? You mean for her? Oh like you do it on YouTube? I think it means for the audience right? Yeah because the audience is still like this kind of humor, but you can't do it on TV anymore.

So now what? It's such a- It'll be back, it all swings back. You think? I think it's all coming back. I mean look, Reverend shit always swings back around, I think. I think it is swinging back right now.

Because in the end, all they care about is money. Right. So if that's making money, they're gonna be like, let's try it. But if that's the case, can we stop going, hey, this is immoral, this is inappropriate. You're like, well, if it's gonna come back anyways, why waste the time of yelling at everybody and.

Did we, I don't ever remember thinking in the joke room we can't do that. Oh yeah. That's how I used to be. Yeah, I think it was pretty much anything goes. I just kind of sat quiet until people told me what to do. Go play this person, go do this sketch, do this thing, and I was like, okay.

Yeah. Because there was a lot of big personalities in that room. I don't think I talked for the first year and a half. You did, you were very quiet. I was very like, you know, minding my P's and Q's. They were all very loud and very like, one-upping each other in the room. And I just was like, I'm just excited to have a paycheck.

Yeah, that show sold tickets. Yeah. But it put us on the road, a lot of us, before we should have been in front of audiences. No, you think? I think, when I look back at the comic, I can only speak for me. I was like, I was ready. I can only speak for me,

but when I think about the standup that I was doing at that time in front of the size crowds that we were, it was a little disproportionate. Right. For me, I mean, I think people were so just happy that we were there. Yeah.

It was one of those situations, but it's- But you look back now that you've kind of done the work and you're like, yeah, and you see it. I get what you mean. Do you know what I mean? Oh yeah. No, because I was the opposite. I was in like the paper at Funny Bones for some reason.

But by the end of it, you're like, it's interesting. I mean, you probably have a different audience now than you did then. Way different. But that's kind of cool that you've kind of, you didn't just fall down. Like it didn't take you out,

you kind of grew with an audience, you know? I actually had to change my audience because I really, so the Chelsea glow was off of me and I wasn't talking about the things on stage that Chelsea's audience was interested in listening to. Interesting. So it was like, oh, I better find a group of people that actually wanna hear what I'm talking about.

But it's hard to figure that out for rooms that size or that kind of pressure. Yeah. Cause you don't want people to pay that kind of cover and not get a good show. I agree. But yeah, that's a dilemma. You gotta be you.

Yeah. Damn, that is tough. But I hope for all those people. So selfishly I loved it, because I got to do a full room at Gotham with Sarah Colonial. Same, I opened for her once too. Yeah, nice lady.

Great. I hit on her. Did you really? I hit on everybody in the early 2000s. Yeah, I saw her and she was like, not you again. I was like, I'm not Mark Normans. I was like, Judy Gold, what's up? I would, what is your version of hitting on people?

Yeah, what are you doing after? You wanna get a drink? Okay. Let's hang out after. Oh, gotcha. You know, 50-50. Okay, you gotta shoot your shot. A one through 10, how effective would you feel like you hitting on somebody is?

Well, I think with ladies, it would really depend because I'm not a hot guy, so it would depend on the set. If I killed, it was a lot easier to hook up. What about with guys? Yeah, you did say with ladies. What about with ladies? Oh, oh, well with guys, they'll just beat me in the bathroom. Guys are easy, you ladies are the ones

putting all the roadblocks up. You guys are making me buy you dinner. Yeah. Exactly, exactly, so much work. But guys, yeah, my friend is gay and he's on the, what is it, the sniffler? Oh, what's that? Sniffies. What is that? It's a new app.

I don't know what this is. Oh, sniffies. Sniffies. It sounds like a sniffler. What does that mean? Yeah, what is that? I don't know what it means, I know what it is, it's like a way dirtier grinder. Oh, really? How does a grinder was toning it down? I didn't know what it means. I know what it is. It's like a way dirtier grinder This is quicker than grinder it's a banging in the bathroom meet me in this bathroom with this bar in five minutes And that's it Wow. I don't know it's dirtier. I don't want that. There's a little thing you can hit on the thing It's called a cum dump

There's a little thing you can hit on the thing. It's called a cum dump. Oh, what's that? You might have to believe this. It's just a gentleman in a stall, and then he says, I'm here, find me. It's like, where's Waldo? Adults. And then what?

And then you have sex with him. He's in the bathroom, basically. Cum dump? That's what it's called. By the way, can't they designate a stall for that so I know that I'm not? Oh, good point. You know what I mean?

Like this is the CUM DUMB stall, cool. Just stick to the urinal. So I'm gonna use the other two stalls. Josh is taking a shit, he's eating a little too much jerk chicken, he's like, god damn it, I'm next to the CUM DUMB. What is the CUM DUMB stall? Why is it sticky?

The floors are sticky. That's crazy. That's the worst. That is, but what a... But that's men, if you leave men to their own devices, you get a come dump app. It just shows you that men just get right to the point. They do.

They do, I mean, for better or worse, that's like, it is pretty cool. Yeah, it's a win-win. It's pretty cool. Like what you fellas are doing over there. But lesbians, I mean, this is such a game. Oh, it's a lot of talking. It's a lot of talking, it's a lot of talking.

It's a lot of talking, yeah. A lot of talking. I figured. A lot of sharing feelings. Where are we going? What does this mean? Oh, get out of here. Is it mutual sharing feelings, or is there

one who's more like, let's get closer? There are those that are like, let's get to it. But mostly, it's emotional stuff first. Why is that? Because I think that's just how ladies are wired, you know? Some of them wanna just get to it, the real slutty ones. But yeah, for the most part, women like that connection. Where are you at, honey boo boo?

Oh, this honey boo boo likes, I like a little bit of a connection. Okay, okay. I was never going wild even in my single days. I remember your single days. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I just didn't date a lot of serious,

I didn't have a lot of serious relationships because I was always working and touring and. Kills you nice. Yeah, and so I just kind of had fun. Yeah, good for you. But it wasn't a lot of girls, it was just here and there. I don't like, it wasn't a lot of girls, it was just like, you know, here and there. I don't wanna be a party pooper,

but I think the lesbian divorce rate is through the roof. Is it? It is. No way. Do you know the stat? I read divorce rates every day. How is that a stat you read? Oh, what's happening?

That's a hilarious stat to just throw out there. I bet I know why. Higher than gay men. See? Oh, I think I know why. Higher than gay men. What? Oh, I think I know why. Why? A lot of gay men have open relationships. So they are not, but it's more sex. It's not like, some of them have like a husband

and a boyfriend, but a lot of it's I'm married and both of us also, if we want wanna sleep with someone, we sleep with someone. Lesbians get what's called lesbian bed death. It's called, or death, something like that. I've heard of this. This is crazy, you stop fuckin'. And so, because you become best friends, it's like your family, you stop boning as much.

That kinda happens in heterosexual marriages too. Oh, does it? Lesbian bed death sounds like the worst death on Oregon Trail. Eel or something. That's rough. Damn. What happened in the back of that wagon?

We lost her. Good punk band though, lesbian bed death. But women aren't capable, I don't think women are as capable of the open stuff to the extent men are. I feel like men can really compartmentalize sex and love. They're two different things for a lot of men. For women, they're very intertwined because there are physical things that happen

with a woman's body that connects you to a person when you have sex. Can you explain a couple of those things to me? No, it's just like a... It's like a chemical thing with women. But I don't know what happened. But yeah, I guess if you're with anybody for many, many years, that stuff gets stagnant, right? Honestly, I think what's helped my marriage the most is that I'm gone so much.

Oh, yeah. I completely agree. And so, when I, it's not like, oh, fucking you again. Yeah. But I'm gone for three or four days, and when I come back, we're like, oh, hey, I really kinda, I kinda like you. Yeah, that's fine. And you have stuff to talk,

what'd you do, what did I miss when I was gone? It's not just you don't fall into that gossip trap or just watching shows. No! It can, you're just like. The shows. Rachel Feinstein has that great bit where she's like, you know, she's in a toxic relationship

but she doesn't even realize it because we're watching Breaking Bad. You know, it's like. But it's just so relatable, you're like, oh shit, no, the relationship's not good, the show is good. Yes, that's really funny. Yeah. That's so true too, those shows is good. Yes, that's really funny. That's so true too, those shows are keeping a lot

of Marriages on Life support, just beep, beep, beep. Because you sit down, you don't talk to each other. But you're doing something. But you're not. Right, quality time, but yeah, the gay men are just still banging. They're still banging. They're married and banging still.

Fork, are you familiar with the term U-hauling? I do know U-hauling, yes. How do you explain it to these gentlemen? Gentlemen, U-hauling is when you start dating, two lesbians start dating, and the joke is, what does a lesbian bring on a second date? A U-haul. They're ready to like shack up, get married, lock it down.

That's why lesbian bars are few and far between because once lesbians pair up, they stop going out. Whereas guys are still on the prowl. Guys are bike messengers. Yeah, even if guys are in a relationship, they're still going to the bars, they're still trying to meet people, they're still hanging out.

Lesbians are like, well, I'm done, I'm off the market, let's stay home. Why don't we wanna go get a cheap drink? Don't sell toilet seats, sell toilet paper. There you go. You wanna keep the toilet seats last 20 years. Toilet paper. Not the way I use them.

Wow, you know what I'm saying. What's the same with lesbians? You cracked over there. Do you know, I was at, long time ago, I was at a barbecue at Ralphie Mae's house. Long time ago, in the Hollywood Hills. And I said to him, I go, Ralphie, and I had to go poop.

I go, Ralphie, I gotta go to the bathroom. He goes, Josh, go up into my bathroom. The second floor, nobody gonna bother you up there. So I go up there and I sit down and I fell in. Wait, you fell in the toilet? I fell in the toilet. And I go downstairs to Ralphie. I'm like, Ralphie, he goes, did you fall in?

I go, yeah. He goes, yeah, I knew you skinny ass, but I had to buy an extra big toilet he had he bought an extra big toilet and I didn't know that so the hole was bigger wow and I was like I didn't know they sold extra big he goes yeah they can sell him extra big so they were extra big and why like they were sturdier because he would break yeah toilet seats so no so that one, they had the extra large toilet seats they got. Wow, you fell in.

Yeah, I went right through. Went swimming. Yeah, hopefully at the beginning. Very beginning, yeah, at the very beginning. But I was like a two year old holding onto the side. You were kicking it. You were like Brad Williams. Yeah.

He's doing tricep dips trying to have the full, Jesus Christ. Damn, your shit goes out like. It takes like 30 seconds. Like that coin toss at the Goonies. You make a wish. Damn. What was the barbecue like at Ralphie May's?

I mean, that must have been legit. He cooked a great. Wow. There it is. He cooked a great barbecue. Wow. There it is. He cooked a great barbecue. I hope so. And man, Ralphie May, Ralphie May, he was the first one of us who made money. And he was an incredibly generous dude.

And I remember we were going in his car to Jack in the Box to get food for everybody in his little apartment complex And he ordered for everybody and then he ordered a separate bag He was like, yeah, can I get a whatever you ordered? But it was like a legit bag of food and I go what's that for and he was that's for me on the drive back And he goes he goes open up the glove box and I opened the glove box and he had his own condiment robe Gross He goes, open up the glove box, and I opened up the glove box, and he had his own condiment robe. Oh, that's gross. He was like, I need the Cholula, I need that, and I was like, you have your own condiments?

He had his own condiment, a custom built glove box with the glove box. Wow, that's crazy. Pimp my ride for diabetes, too. Yeah, yeah. Jesus. Damn, it's like my grandpa with the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, the drug thing.

He also, he used to watch after my kids sometimes and he pretended to be a piñata, so when they hit him he would throw candy at him. Hey! That's fun, that's really fun. That is funny. That's a great friend. Yeah.

Well, he and Joey Diaz both were the, for a while, my kids' babysitters, because they would do it for free. That is hilarious. Your kid's like, cock-sucker motherfucker! The worst part, though, is your kids learn to do this with a fat guy. They see some dude on the subway and they're like, no candy! What the hell? The fat guy's like, what the hell, man?

I'm obese. Like, you're ruining my day Like you're ruining my day. You're ruining my day. He's getting punched by a little kid. You are ruining my day. Joey Diaz gave him candy and edibles. Yeah. All right, here you go.

He's a Chinese star, motherfucker. What do they call those? Star of Death. Star of Death, yeah. So you guys have known each other for a long time. 2011. Dang. Hey. Yeah.

When did you move to LA? 2003. Okay. 21 years. What were you doing before Chelsea Lavey? I was a journalist, so I was an entertainment journalist for eight years. That was my day job And so I would write during the day and I started taking growlings like improv

Classes at night and I started my own group. So we were doing shows around town and then 2007 I started In the belly room at the Comedy Store until you saw you to get on that show Joe Coy had seen me do I had this character a Hooters waitress named Darlene witherspoon That was like I put that on YouTube and it was like early days YouTube Yeah, and he saw it and showed it to Chelsea but nothing came of it for like a year, and then I submitted a writing packet when they were looking for a new writer,

and she remembered me from that. Yeah, well I was trying to get on the round table. Oh right. And they would, oh. Darlene, Willard Spoon. Willard Spoon, okay. Look at that grainy video, feels like it. I get it.

No. No. That's great. I was trying to get on the round table back then before I was a writer and they said I was too low energy. So I was on the radar but not enough to be on the show. Do you think you would have been ready if you went on then or?

Probably not, I was still pretty green. When I submitted the writing packet, I thought there's no way I'm gonna get this. They had like 300 submissions and they narrowed it down to like 10 of us. And I was more of a sketch performer, even though I was doing standup. I had just done Last Comic Standing.

They came to my groundlings shows and I didn't know when they hired me, they were kinda hiring me more for sketch. Cause I had no, even though I was an entertainment journalist, I had no writers room experience. So I felt pretty lacking in the writers room for a while. It's a whole different animal. Yeah.

And then finally someone pulled me aside and said we actually we hired you more for your sketch comedy Skills and to be on on the show more than your writing skills. I was like, thanks for telling Room though, like if you've never been in one even if you're a great writer, it's an intimidating place Oh, yeah to get your job in they yell jokes Yeah over each other and I don't, I can't do that. I don't like competing for. Yeah, it's weird. Even on the round table,

I kind of would like sit, sit, sit, boom. I would always sort of time out when to punch in and then I would kind of sit quiet again. Right. Well, also on that round table, it depended on who you were there with. Some people were competitive with you and just wanted to get your joke in.

Yeah. And some people really just wanted it to be more of a conversation and just kind of let it be almost podcast-y, let it be, those were my favorite ones when it was very flowy. Yeah. And like a topic would come up, but nobody really Nobody really talked about it And sometimes you would say a joke and then a person would act it out and that was their whole thing was just acting out your jokes

I think we're just repeating my job That's a fucking pee by the way when you say a joke and then someone else like no one hears it and someone repeats It and they get the laugh Yeah, I think we were on spades show together once Yeah, and it was like you were I liked being on with you because you just kind of did your joke I did my joke we all kind of like got our lines and it was it was chill. You know Yeah, I show also yeah, that was kind of like got our lines and it was chill, you know? That was a fun show also. Yeah, that was fun. Because I don't like them competing with other comics.

It's weird. I'm like, I want you to have your joke, I'll have my joke, you have your joke, and then everybody, you know, instead of like the person that doesn't shut up. I know, I know, and you ever had a, I've been in a few writer's rooms, you ever had a joke bomb in a writer's room?

Boy, that stings. Yeah. Because you're amongst your peers, and everybody's like, ugh. It's worse when nobody even comments on it. Oh! They just go right past it, and you're like, that bad? Huh? OK.

Yeah, it's the worst. I'll tell you what I love about Spade and Bargazzi, both of them. To me, the way they deliver their jokes, their throwaways are sometimes their best. They're like modern-day Bob Newhart's No completely especially Nate Nate especially where he throw some of his throwaways are like, that's the best That's his bit. It's crazy. That's such a different way to deliver jokes I know and I love that he's so successful because people kept they've caught it they get what he's doing, which is so refreshing It's so different. I don't know anybody else who does anything even close to what he does no no he's great, and he's so prolific

It's insane. Don't you mean the amount it yeah? I just pumps it out like a thing will happen to him He's got like an eight-minute story on and it's killer. It's crazy. Yeah, it's he's setting the bar high. Oh, yeah It's a clean part is wrong like holy shit like I like I can turn it out, but I ain't fucking clean. No, no, and by the way, clean doesn't just mean cursing, it means like there's no racial, there's no like sexual innuendo. It's great, it's not, it's clean, but it's not vanilla.

Exactly. There's a huge difference between being just like clean, you're like that's the most boring, non-thought provoking. 100%. It's still great jokes. Yep. I saw him in Vegas, and his dad opened for him,

which was amazing. That's cool. I heard his dad crushes. His dad crushes, and then he, when he was introing Nate, he was crying, and I go, that's touching, and he goes, he does it every show. Oh, got it, got it. He hates it, Nate's bigger, he's like. Nate opens. He does a Denzel tear goes he does it every show

Does a Denzel tear he works it up But Nate opened with ten minutes of crazy Vegas jokes whoa That I asked his dad. I'm like he does this is it are these his Vegas jokes. He goes no these are new this weekend. Wow Crushed I saw him at Radio City hit a punchline He went golly and I was on the floor. That was the punchline, but he makes it He's so good at making it funny. It's it's really great. I remember a long time ago He opened for me at Zany's. Oh boy, and I was like this kid's kind of funny and then At fucking Bridgestone. It's I was like, this kid's kinda funny. And then at fucking Bridgestone, I'm like, well he's definitely.

Ah. This kid's got something. My gosh, this kid's onto something. Yeah. Are you in Nashville? No, I'm in Vegas now. Oh, you're in Vegas, whoa. Do you like Vegas?

More than any place I've ever lived. Whoa! What is? No tax, right? It's not even that. It's not just the Jew part. Oh, I wasn't going there. That's what you were trying to-

You did this to me for a little while. Oh, sorry. I was like, he's holding on to that. Mark, you did this followed by this. That was kind of weird. Followed by the horn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tough, yeah.

But I love it. I have a residency there every Monday night. Where at? At Kimmel's. Oh, nice. And so what I love about performing there every Monday night at Kimmel's. Oh nice. And so what I love about performing there every Monday

is, okay, it really, Vegas is the one place, especially on a Monday, where I know if a joke works, because when I'm on the road, I'm in front of people that know me and like me. So sometimes it's really hard to tell, is that joke funny? Or they just know me or they already know myself. They know, right?

But in Vegas, 50% of the people don't know me every show. So when it only hits half the crowd, I'm like, that's a joke for my crowd. But when it hits everybody, I'm like, oh, this joke is funny. It's such a great lippness test for me to go out and try all my new shit. And it's a Monday at 7.30, so there's like zero pressure.

We do similar stuff here at the Comedy Cellar, but like I was doing my show, My Name Billed, and it was going well because they're my people. And I was like, these jokes aren't that good. I know it. So I started doing Unbilled and it's way more productive. Way more. Because you can tell you're like,

oh, they didn't just laugh because they know my cadence. Yeah. Or because they know. You get away with a lot with your cadence. Yeah, that's true. They know your rhythm. They really do. They know you're like, this is where they should laugh. And they're already a fan. Yeah.

They're just excited to see you, yeah. And they know, if you do a darker joke, they're like, he's not a bad guy. But if it's a new audience and you do a dark joke, they're like, Bad guy. I guy, but if it's a new audience and you do a dark joke to like Bad guy And you're like no no I'm just saying but they don't know you yet so you have to like earn that Damon Wayans told me once when I first got to LA and he was doing a lot of stand-up He was like these 15 minute sets are really dicey. I

Said why he goes because you have a 15 minute grace period as a famous person hmm I said, why? Because you have a 15 minute grace period as a famous person. Hmm. After 15 minutes, the longer sets, if you're not funny, but the 15 minutes, they're just happy to be this close. Right. Right. So sometimes it's really hard to tell what's funny and what they're just laughing because. Sure. Yeah. I'm Damon Wayne. He's underrated as a funny guy. So underrated. I was a huge fan as a kid. He was on TV more. But his special. I think he's very underrated. Yeah.

No doubt. You're still in LA. Mm-hmm. How's that going? It's good. Can you get up when you wanna work on shit? Yeah, I mean, my last two tours were just so crazy. I did 100 cities, 150 shows.

I love that. You did? Back to back. Wow. In three years. You do the bus or you fly? I flew everywhere. Wow. In three years. You do the bus or do you fly? I flew everywhere. Wow.

Well I fly to like a place on like a Thursday and then drive in between. Oh okay. Just until Sunday and then I fly home. You do like runners and stuff? Mm-hmm. And does it stress you out losing the day or do you leave the night of or how do you do it?

I, if it's a changeover I leave the night before. If it's direct I'll leave probably morning of. But do you mean runners like a Sprinter man? No, I rent a car. It's just me. I do the same thing. Putting around, yeah. Jack's store everywhere?

She used to, but she got, I wore her out. Yeah, I haven't stopped in three years. So I ended my life, the first store started at the beginning 21 year and a half hundred cities hundred 50 shows Stopped it went to Toronto for five months to film food bar film a special in between came back had a month off Started the new act in the clubs another hundred city 150 shows Ended in May was in Toronto for another five months filming Food Bar season two. Just got home.

How long do you have to stay in Toronto, a month? Five months. Five months! Almost about four and a half. For how many shows is five months? Eight episodes. Is that, that's kinda, so you had to stay there without coming back?

I mean, I would visit here and there, and my wife would come out and stay with me at different times. And I would do some Saturday night shows here and there, but yeah, I just got home the end of September, and I was like, holy cow, sorry. So my next tour will start April 1st, like the theaters, but I'm gonna have to do clubs to work up to it.

I love, love, love how conversational you are on stage. Like I love watching you. Oh, thanks man. I love watching you perform. It's so, have you guys seen? Seen the specials. Yeah. It's so.

Live I don't do a lot in New York, so. Right. I've seen a lot of your stuff. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I think for me I'm just like, let's have a good time. Yeah, but I've seen a lot of your stuff. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I think for me, I'm just like, let's have a good time. Let's just chat and hopefully be funny. I'm not trying to put on this whole facade or something.

It's kind of what you see is what you get. So everything I'm talking about is stories from my life and talking about my mom, my wife, just dumb stuff that's happened to me. But yeah, I think it maybe feels very casual because of my accent and I talk slow. So it feels like we're just kind of moseying on stage, like what do you guys want here?

Let's talk about something. Because it's so relatable, because it's your life, it makes it conversational. Look at that. That's great. Is that the Ryman? It's the beacon. Ah, beacon. Yeah, the end of this last tour.

That was fun. Is that a vest? No. What's that? Is that a vest? It's like a bowling shirt. No, it's like a bowling, yeah, it's a bowling shirt. Yeah, she's a shirt.

It's like a vent shirt, but it definitely looks like a bowling shirt. That's a nice shirt. Yeah, this last tour was really cool. Like Walter in the Big Lebowski. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That was me dressing up. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

How great is the beacon? Oh, it was really cool. That's one of the best. That one and the Chicago Theater were like, Just did it. They were bucket list ones for me. Incredible, top five in the country. Yeah.

Yeah, it's so cool. Man. So how was that show with Arnold? Is that fun in the country. Yeah, it's so cool. Man. So how was that show with Arnold, is that fun? Really fun, yeah. He's a cool guy? Very cool, yeah, he loves comedians. All right. Loves just like picking up,

like he likes to rib people like his friends and stuff and they're always talking smack, but he's a very cool guy. Like we went to Oktoberfest with him in Munich. Whoa! Yeah, that was really fun. That's great. A great person to be.

I know, right? Yes! Oktoberfest? He can't walk three feet without 100 people descending upon him in Europe. It was wild, but. But he fucks with you? Oh yeah.

Oh, that's great. Oh, like fucks? Yeah, we fuck, no. No, no, no. But he besinks you. No, yeah, we're buddies're buddies. He's super cool. Lesbian bed death. Oh.

Was that your Arnold impression? Yeah, I can't do impressions. I don't know why I went robot. You didn't need to change your accent. I did the Terminator. Now I know why you don't do accents in your ass. Chill out. That's what this is.

That's good. Okay, okay. Yeah, I'll do his accent to him. I'll do his accent to him. I'll do his accent to him. I'll do his accent to him. I'll do his accent to him. I'll do his accent to him. I't do accents in your ass. Chill out. That's what this is about. That's good. There you go.

Yeah, I'll do his accent to him all the time. I'll be like, it's Arnold, let's go, come on. There it is. I would love to show, Beth and I watch the show. It's a lot of fun, man. It's fun. It's like, you know, one of those shows that it's entertaining. Yeah.

You watch for an hour and you don't think about anything. And yeah, we've just wrapped season two, so that'll come out I think in the spring or something. But I get to do like, I'm a CIA agent. I mean, who would've thought? And you work with Arnold. Yeah, I mean, it's wild. I'm like shooting guns and running from explosions.

You also get to be a little more sarcastic and a bit of, that's different than other things that you've got to do. Yeah, I'm hitting guys in the nutsack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's very bro-y. My character's very bro-y. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I love it, just because it's so different. I was doing sitcoms before that, my family, so it was such a departure to get to be shooting guns and in that action kind of world. Are you good with a gun in real life? No. I am not. Either it's Alec Baldwin, since you're not him.

Or he's really good. Oh yeah. We all look at it. Yeah, hole in one. Yeah. Wait. Sorry. Apparently those tickets are flying off the shelf.

What? Rust. Oh really? You think people wanna see it see it was it coming out. I think so I'd like to see it just for that one scene Very realistic you have to wait till the end. It's one of the bloopers we think of it we went to this charity event at Luke Bryan's and they had you could They had like a little mini shooting range with these professionals. Everything was very well done.

And my wife gets up there, it's one of these guns that shoots from like, you know, a shit ton far away. And she's just, there's five targets, and she goes, pew, pew, pew, pew. I'm like, what is this? Like she just nailed all five in a row. Oh, really? Yeah she-

Just to show you that if you ever leave, it doesn't matter how far away you get. She did not miss. Five in a row and this was a long target. Lesbian shooter, she's gotta go to the WNBA. I know. I know. Sorry.

Thank, no, no that was a good one. No, no, no, no. Thanks. Oh dude, I just saw this movie, I got a record one. All right, all right, all right. Oh dude, I just saw this movie, I gotta wreck it. It's called A Different Man, have you heard of this? No. With Sebastian Stan and Adam Pearson, have you heard of this shit?

Look at this guy, Adam Pearson, he's got this face disorder. Whoa! Yeah, that's his real face. Holy Moses! Dude, it's- I've not heard of this. That's a shit. Sorry.

Oh no. Okay. You guys. Got it. No's. Sorry. Oh no. Okay. You guys. Got it. No, no, no, no, no. No, dude, this movie, this guy Adam Pearson is incredible in the movie. Wow.

Which one's Adam Pearson? That guy. That guy. And then, yeah, yeah, it's a good. The Trump? He played Trump in a movie, too. Oh, okay, okay. He's called a different man, it's weird, it's like an 824 movie.

Whoa. What's that condition called? Neurofibrosome, I pulled up, I don't know. Wow. It's- By the way, if you go in and audition for that role, you either got it or you don't. There's no like, well, let's see him again.

Says benign tumors appear on your face. Neurofibromas. Yeah, but a lot of people have it and it's not that severe at all. You won't even know they have it. And his brother is twin and he looks totally different. Oh really? He looks totally.

It says soft pea-sized bumps under the skin. Yikes. So maybe for some people it's under the skin and doesn't surface. But it's worth checking out the movie, it's pretty cool. Is it, it's got a sad story. No, it's the dark comedy. Oh wow, all right.

Ah geez, all right, I'm eating here. Good, wow. Yeah, so it's, yeah. That looks like me when I'm hungover. You guys have any peeves? I got one. What do you got? I was in a restaurant the other night with the wife.

We're having a nice romantic dinner. She's pregnant, so I'm trying to really. Oh, I didn't know that. Congratulations. Seven months. That's exciting. Thank you, it's not mine. But.

But. Orry. You don't know me? All right, so we go to this nice dinner and all the tables are taken. I forgot to make a res. And I go, we'll sit at the bar. So we sit at the bar, read at the bar and we're chit chatting

and the waitress or the bartender walks over this nice lady. She goes, I was eavesdropping. I gotta say this, this, this and this. And I'm like, what is that? You just listening to our conversation? Oh yeah, that's weird. You're spying on us and then you try to make it a cute thing. Like, oh, I gotta, I was eavesdropping.

I can answer that question. And I'm like, well well what else did you hear? You know, the N word, who knows what? You know how you get at a bar. Yeah. Yeah. Boo bar. I don't care for this, I was eavesdropping like.

I was listening. I'm spying on you. Eavesdropping's a sweet way to say I was listening. Yes, yes. And maybe if they're gonna say one thing that you heard, but not like, here's what I was saying. Yes, yes. And maybe if they're gonna say, like say one thing that you heard, but not like here's the list of things that you heard. Microphone. That's a good peeve.

I don't like it. I'll give you a restaurant peeve. Please. If I sit down at a table and you take that dirty rag that's wet out of the dirty bucket, and you wipe my table, and then you don't dry it off.

So it's just covered with the wet dirty water. That is gross. I fucking. Interesting. But we're still gonna eat there. I'm gonna eat there. We're gonna eat there, it's gross. But I'm gonna dry it off with my hand.

But that one to me is. I mean, if it's a restaurant situation, another one is if you walk in without a reservation, there's like 20 empty tables. And they is if you walk in without a reservation, there's like 20 empty tables, and they're like, do you have a reservation? I'm like, really? And then they're like, hmm. Full sit.

Where are we gonna sit? And then it's like the tiny ass table in the corner where you're like this, and you're like, there's like 20 booths here. I don't know. Yeah, that's booths here. I don't know. Yeah, no, that's a good one. I don't know what that's about. I've used to be a waiter, and I can answer that.

Okay, what is that? But it's just because either they're short staffed and they can't handle that many tables, or there's sections. So this girl's got six tables, I've got five, but you see four empty, and people are like, what the hell? And you're like, if I take that table,

it'll take me an hour to get to you. But it's still annoying. Right, all right. Trying to shit on your peeve. No, I'm glad to see the other side of it, thank you. That's a peeve, people making sense of my peeve. I got a peeve too. You ever have a conversation with someone

and then you get away and as you're away, they try to rope you back? Oh yeah. I'm in the neighborhood, I'm halfway down the hallway and he's like, oh there's another thing. I'm like, I'm by the elevator. I was this close to getting out and he was like, something about the Knicks, he was like, when does this guy come back?

And I'm like, I. Yeah, and I haven't got parties too. He's finally gotten out of a conversation and you're like, oh well, I guess I should check on the sliders over here. And then you meet again at the sliders and you're like, oh, well, I guess I should check on the sliders over here. And then you meet again at the sliders, and you're like, oh my god. I just tried to walk away from you.

Hey, that was my out. I just didn't want to say I'm trying to walk away from you to your face. Now we're back in. Sometimes though, this is when I'm trying to avoid, there's a great Seinfeld episode where George said, when he's just not working, just always annoyed. Yeah, I think you're busy I I will do this like walk in I'll just be like, oh good. I'll pull the

Yeah, I'll do a fake phone call What the fuck? Oh my god, I got it. I got it, I got it. This is crazy. I just did a little part in a movie with Will Ferrell that is coming out I think in January. And we were filming in Atlanta and we went to the bar at the hotel.

What? And there was like no one in there when we got there, maybe like two people. And then all of a sudden within 30 minutes there were like 50 people staring at Will. He's a very popular guy. But it was so funny because he was like, once dinner was finished he's like,

how am I gonna get out of here? Because all these people were just like staring at him. So he picks up his phone and he goes, what's that? What happened to your cat? Oh no, I gotta take this. And he walks out going, your cat, oh, no, I gotta take this Your cat oh my god, and so all these people were like but he's like I can't I'm on the phone Good see the doc that that was on Netflix with him and his friend. Yes. That was fan I heard it's great. I haven't seen it

Jim and Carol, What was it called? Will and Harper Is that a wreck that's a wreck, baby Yeah, it was so good, but there's a scene in that they go to a restaurant the two of them, but they're in Texas me yeah and Well cuz Will's friend is trans and so the the journey was, like, kind of relearning who my friend is as a trans person and understanding the world

and just, like, sort of reconnecting as friends and trying to learn and ask questions. And as his trans friend, as a man, used to take these trips across country... Ah! ...and she wanted to know if it was still... And she liked the small... Still safe to do so, yeah, she liked going to little tiny

rodeos and small diners and dive bars. But she wanted to know if it was still safe for her to do that as a trans woman. And they sat in this restaurant and Will Ferrell said. Well, so Will, he did a bit where he dressed as Sherlock Holmes. That was it. Thinking it would be funny in the restaurant. And they sat them in like a table in the middle of everyone and the hate coming their way was palpable.

Really? And Will, you could see him in this crazy costume, realizing the reality of the situation and that being silly and funny wasn't getting it. He even said that after we did. I've been in the public eye forever. I've never felt more stared at. It was a great, it was a really cool story. That would be funny if they came up and they're like,

we don't hate her, we're more mad about Blades of Glory. Semipro sucked, but damn, that's crazy. Blades of Glory, funny. That's very funny. I like Blades of Glory. I do too, I needed an example. Tall Digger Knights was great as well. It's hard to pull bad ones. Yeah, Semipro was forced.

Semipro was not my fave, and we watched it on the tour bus last year. We all kinda got a pick, and James, who directed my special, was like, you guys are gonna love semi-pro basketball, and Veeda and I kinda looked at each other like, you lost a lot of credibility. You're a crack buddy.

I love Will Ferrell, but it's just not, a lot of misses in that one. Saw him on the street about a month ago on Bleecker Street and he was full jogging, he had the jogging shorts, the sneakers on, the tank top, and he was just getting astride and went, well, and he went, and that was it. He's gotta be so, I mean,

he's gotta be one of the most recognizable people, right? He's tall, curly hair, yeah, big guy. I was in LA for like just a week last time I was there and I was staying downtown, and you got access to that Equinox in the hotel, so I was just in there, and it's like fucking Will Ferrell. I was like, this is the most LA shit. Whoa, crazy.

He seems like the type of dude, and I don't know him at all, but that is gonna say hello if you say hello. Yeah, he's so nice. Yeah, he gave me a... How was the movie you were doing with him? Was that fun? Yeah, I was only there for a few days. It's him and Reese Witherspoon.

Ah! Did you get to, in the scene, did you have a scene with him? Yeah, we got to improvise quite a bit. I'm only in like two scenes I think, but, and probably a lot of that is on the cutting room floor, but it was just so cool to like sit there and bounce stuff off of him.

Sure. How does he work with that? Do you do it as written first, and then you're like, hey, let's just fuck around? Yeah, do it as written first, and then just kinda go nuts a couple takes. That's gotta be a dream to him. But he plays those very serious characters,

so you have to try not to break, because he's just looking at you like very intensely, but he's so fun and cool, and I was coming from the gym when he was going to set, and he rolled his window down and stuck his head out the window and was like, I'll see you later. He's just like, there's always bits, you know? This is fun.

I mean, this is one of the funniest scenes of all time. This is one of the best characters ever. Oh, is that eastbound to the down? Yeah. Yeah. I know I can. I can feel it all the way down in my plums. My plums.

Swollen. With a light blue hue to them. Fresh and juicy red fruit. I'll smooch it while a whole sack of lunches. Hey, that plum looks good. Can I trade it for your Twinkie? No, these are my flowers. I'm gonna buy you that plum.

Gracious John to Greg O'Hara. None of this is written, he's just going. Yeah, for sure. Putting him in an R-rated scenario is almost unfair. Like how do you keep a straight face? Talladega Nights was brilliant. And the Anchorman Food Challenge.? Talladega nights. Yeah. Oh, brilliant. Go to pray to the baby Jesus. Yeah.

I saw Anchorman in college with friends at the theater. It blew our faces off. Oh yeah. I missed that experience. I know like part of it is- The theater experience? Yeah, I know part of it is why we're all able to sell tickets on the road.

So you gotta be grateful that people are coming to see Stand Up, but like I do kinda miss the theater. I miss that too. I remember seeing the hangover in the theater being like, this was fucking awesome. Amazing. What do you think the hardest you've laughed in a theater? Do you remember?

Yes. What was yours? Wow, I don't wanna cut you off. No, what was yours? I saw American Pie, which is not the funniest movie of all time, but I saw it in a black theater and it was insane. It was like, the commentary was killing more than the movie

and we were all in for it. You know, like when they showed the pie that was all mangled from fucking it and some black guy yelled, damn, he tore that shit up. And I mean, popcorn flew in the air, everybody was dying. It was the funniest thing.

Why has there not been black mystery science theater? Oh! That's a million dollar idea right there. That's brilliant. Yeah. I love it. I think Tropic Thunder. Oh, that was a big one.

In the theater, Tropic Thunder, those first 15 minutes in the movie trailers. That was big. Was like. Huge. Crazy funny. Zoolander 1 killed me. Zoolander 1's unreal.

That was unbelievable. And for a female comic, Bridesmaids killed me. That was a good one in the theaters. I love that one. I'll say there's something about Mary, and because I was a kid and all those dirty jokes kill me. Franks and Beats. And yeah, incredible, and so many jokes.

But this is a weird one, but Nutty Professor. Ah! I saw it in my dad. I wonder how it's not a fake though.. Ah! I saw it with my dad. That would be a good one. That would be not a thing. It was like, during that fart scene, I watched my dad, who's like a polished lawyer, losing his shit.

And Murphy just farting, with multiple characters. I'm like, this is fucking crazy. Yeah. I think the craziest theater, two craziest theater experiences I ever had, one was Blair Witch, because we had never seen anything like it, and you walked out of there like, wait, was that,

what did we just watch? But also the same thing was the first Jackass. Oh, great one. That's a big laugh. We were in there, and we had never seen anything like it, and that first opening scene where them just punching each other in the face was just like, the whole theater on both of those was such a huge,

but Blair Witch walking out of there, people didn't know if they were supposed to like it, if they were supposed to be worried. That type of shooting had never been seen before. It's similar to comedy. It's a big reaction from the audience. You're on the edge of your seat. I saw Borat in the theater and it was,

when he ran through naked with the fat guy, oh man, the place went nuts. Maybe it'll come back, I don't know. And then you talked about the movie. Remember after something about Mary was like, you see something about Mary, how about that scene? And that scene when they zipped it up, and oh that was crazy, and then Brett Favre showed up

at the end. It was the last time you quoted a movie to a friend. Exactly, those days are over. I know, that's a bummer though, because that shared experience made the movie even funnier. Yes, well now we have meme. Comedies aren't bringing people to theater. It's gotta be like a $200 million.

I know, horrible. If it's gonna have comedy, then it has to have action in it. Yeah. Yeah, but aren't you sick of seeing the same fucking trailer again and again? Well yeah, of course. How many times are they gonna make the husband and wife

who both kick ass movies? Oh! It's like, all right, we get it. You guys are like former assassins. I've seen this 400 fucking times, this trailer. Go back to the old ways where the husband would beat the wife. That was a movie.

Oh, we all missed that. Yeah! Or the old sitcoms where it was like, how'd that fat dude get that beautiful? Ah. It was always so like, this is the most unbelievable. That's still happening. Or the old sitcoms where it was like how'd that fat dude get that beautiful? It was always so like This is what I don't believe He's a UPS driver he's banging this

Yeah, I'm RIP Jerry Stiller Yeah, all right be aah Ramini's Scientology career. Not her name. Remini. Remini. Oh, sorry. Ramini. Hey, Ramini. I've only read it, I've never heard of that.

That was a fucking aggressive fact. Yeah, I know. You're like, that's not her name. That's not, pronounce her name. He's not offended. That's not how you say it. He's a dirty guinea. Yeah.

Is there any other kind? It's greasy and you say it. He's a dirty guinea. Yeah. Is there any other kind? It's greasy and it's dirty. They go both ways. Yeah. All right, I think we gotta wrap this thing up. Plug some, you both have new specials out. Ooh, yeah. Where can we find you guys, not just specials,

but tour dates? Go ahead, Fortune. My third hour on Netflix just premiered December 3rd. It's called Crushing It. I wear a pink suit. I mean, come on, that's reason enough to tune in. You got a what? Yeah, so that one's really fun.

Check that out on Netflix. And yeah, I'm starting a whole new tour. So I'm in club dates right now, kind of just working out material, and then the theaters start April 1st. So, fortunefamester.com. Maybe I should have gone first. But definitely watch my special.

Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm not funny, you guys. Well, lesbians are funny. Lesbians don't count, I was female. I am, my special's on YouTube, I've always put my specials on. Yeah, you're a pioneer. Yeah. When I, before I put my first special on YouTube,

my agent was like, you should see what Josh was. Yeah, same. You and I talked on the phone. We did. You were like, what do you think about putting it on YouTube? I was intrigued by it. So my, this special is actually actually I'm so proud of it because I Here's a couple things that I want to do different. I

I didn't do any wide shots the people coming in didn't know most of them that it was a special whoa Really feel pretty pretty authentic to a comedy show experience all all close up, right? And I didn't edit. This is one. What? Okay, so I had to kick somebody out. Oh! I kept it in. Ooh, nice.

I kept all of, I kept everything in because I wanted it to feel like a real authentic show. And I did exactly how my. The owner stiffed you at the end, you kept that in. That's right. You wanted it to be authentic? Will Smith slapped you? And I did something, look it's called Four Stories

because I tell long stories. And so I wanted it, my people were like, you can't just tell four stories. I'm like, but this is what I do. Fuck your people. So I just, I keep that. Do what you do, man. But it's Four Stories, if you like stories I'm like, but this is what I fuck your people so I But it's four stories if you like stories and that's the kind of comedy you like this is a great special man awesome I really like it out. It's a four stories comedy. Your old stuff is like 18 million

It's crazy views before anyone else was getting those numbers. Yeah, man. I appreciate that and I'm all over On the road and I'm to I tour with my son now He opens for me. Why it's it let's keep it in that money in that family But it's so much fun he opens he tells stories about me I do my stand-up and because so much of my stories have been about him in the past He and I do a Q&A That's a ton of fun. Yeah. Wow. So yeah, it's been this is the most fun I've ever had on stage just traveling around with him. It's how old is he? He's 27. Oh, he's 27

I got five grandkids, dude I know can you believe it? Oh your wife fucking gilf. Yeah He sure Grandpailf. Yeah He sure Grandpa over there. Yeah, that's insane But but yeah, yeah, but it's a ton of fun if you like and the show right now Oh, you're talking about oh his wife is hot too. She's a bull her up. She's definitely guys both keeping it. Yeah Yeah, there's crazy. How do you do it? What's the secret? I work out. Yeah, I work out, I live in Vegas,

it's so stress free. Sober. Yeah, look at her. Yeah, I've never heard about anyone being stressed in Vegas. Well, I don't get, I don't get. Holy moly. Geez, that's hot. Hubba hubba.

Right. DSL. Man, she. Oh my Lord, well done. Jeez. That's unbelievable. Kudos. She's also a writer-director, man.

I don't care. She's got a movie set up on Netflix right now. Hey! So, with the DSL. You got that right. Thank you very much. Mama Sita. All over the road.

Mama Sita. Josh Wolf Com. Comedian JoshWolf. down. It's all over the road. Mama, sit down. It's joshwolfcom. Comedianjoshwolf.com. Comedianjoshwolf.com. Yep. Check them out over the road. Yeah, and four stories is a special. I'm going back to the clubs as well to polish this hour. Houston Improv, Dallas Improv, Phoenix Stand Up Live, then we're doing The Ryman. Hey, that's in Nashville. Great theater. Yeah, I'm excited about that oneman. Hey, that's in Nashville. Great theater. Yeah, I'm excited about that one.

One of the best in the world. Hopefully we can sell that out. Then the baby's coming, so I'm taking off. Oh, how long are you taking off? I'll probably take like two months. Okay. Really get to know that rug rat. Yeah, just fill a little time with your,

yeah, two months. Not your child. Yeah. A few clubs to warm up for theaters here. We got San Antonio, January 3rd and 4th, then we got Liberty Township, Ohio, then we got Pittsburgh in January, and then it's all theaters pretty much here and now.

We're going, you know, Charlotte, Richmond, New York, DC, Bethlehem, on and on, but Austin, Dallas, Tulsa, Houston, samorail.com slash shows. I'm coming to your city, and if you don't see it there now, it'll be in the fall, but. I love the Tabernacle.

Oh, so good. Great room. Atlanta rules, I love it. Yeah, so many great cities that I'm hitting, so I can't wait to come and buy Bodega Cat Whiskey, bodegacatwhiskey.com, people are loving it, we're making waves. Yes.

Peter Luger Steakhouse, Strip House, it's fucking everywhere. You are, nice. Is it in here? It's here, yeah, Comedy City. It's in the Paper Planes. Yes, you're drinking it. You gotta believe it. Not as tasty, y'all. It's fucking everywhere. You are nice. Is it in here? It's here, yeah. It's in the paper planes. Yes, you're drinking it. I can't believe it.

It's tasty, y'all. It's in you. It's in me right now. Comedy Sellers going through like 15, 20 cases a week of this shit. Oh, that's awesome. We're selling out. We're cooking with this.

Good job, guys. Love you guys for getting it. And yeah, check out Fortune and Josh's stuff, both very funny people. And keep listening to the pod. Yeah. Thanks for having us. You're a lesbian with the U-Haul. That's people, and keep listening to the pod. Yeah. Thanks for having us. You're a lesbian with the U-Haul.

That's right. You're back in the bus. Jew haul. Ah. On that note. Ah. We'll be right back. Mark's like, let me get this one.

I had to get that Jew haul joke in. Look at that. Sunday's the day for my next offender. A bit of Piva rec, you know the future's close. I've had a little too much bourbon, I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be drunk