We Might Be Drunk - Ep 225: Drunk History w/ Chris DiStefano & Yannis Pappas

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

Time for a Drunk History Lesson with Yannis Pappas and Chris DiStefano joining for a really great episode with so many laughs and a bit of history thrown in.  Check out the Hyenas : https://www.historyhyenasisback.com Support the show and get 20% off your 1st Sheath order with promo  code DRUNK at https://www.sheathunderwear.com Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD  WMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ WMBD Clips Page: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Yannis: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com Chris DiStefano: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com Sam Morril: YouTube Channel: @sammorril Instagram: https://instagram.com/sammorril Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: YouTube Channel: @marknormand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets We Might Be Drunk is produced by Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ @GothamProductionStudios Producer Matt Peters: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #wemightbedrunk #marknormand #sammorril #podcast #drunkpodcast #comedy #comedian #funny #gothampodcastomedy Tour Dates Announcement

Hey, we're here folks. We might be drunk. We got the hyenas. What's shaking boys? We're back baby. Our ticket sales dropped and we have to get back together. Tell me about it. I have a side job. Yeah, yeah. It's what it is. We're uber pooling it. Yeah. Nice.

Yeah. I'm working on my pilot's license. No, you're not. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah, I'm working on my pilot's license No, you're not oh really yeah, I'm working for ice. I'm cleaning up. I'm making a word has a pilot slice I just want to know I know does yeah, yeah, and uh so I mean just don't say hi around them Yeah, look at the crowd. He may need to that baby. I heard I heard you and John Samo said the same father who me and Stamos Yeah, it's very possible. No, I was making a bill burr Billy Corrigan joke What was that move by Howie Mandel when he become fucking more povich that was it was a stupid move move Yeah, the germaphobe he doesn't have much. I know bill should have just touched his hands. Yeah Yeah, you don't want to throw any surprises at Burr.

But look at him, that is dead on. That dad is definitely a piece of shit. Dad is really. But I mean, do you think some of it is that they're both bald? Like if they both had hair, then it would definitely. Yeah, I heard he fucked Jason Statham's mom and Vin Diesel's.

Yeah, that guy's Gary Veeders' dad too. Terrible father. And Jeff Ross. Yeah, that guy's Gary Veeders dead too. Terrible father. Right, and Jeff Ross. Yeah. We should have Buran in surprise him with Elon Musk. Oh, that's big. Yeah, those two guys are having a love fest right now. That's it, baby. We'll call Tim Dillon.

Yeah, get Elon on the phone. Apparently, he said Musk suppressed him on Twitter. He's like, I got off Twitter because every time I make fun of him, I get no views. Yeah, I can't go on Twitter without seeing Elon. I can't, there's two things. Me neither. And here's the deal. When I go on Twitter,

I'm either seeing an Elon Musk tweet, or I'm seeing like hardcore, uncut, unadulterated, anti-Semitism. Big Jew hate. It's huge. It's huge. Yeah, I was worried if that was just me. We're back, baby. Yeah, I mean, it's huge.

It's good to know that's just not my feed and that's everyone's. No, it's mine too. It's very common. It is getting bad that the anti-semitism is getting worse. Wow. It doesn't help that I heart all of them. Yeah, the problem is I can't look away. I know.

Yeah, my whole feed now is just that because I want to know what's going on. Same here. I only follow Kanye, so it's getting rough. Yeah. Yeah. That merch is well made, I want to know what's going on. I only follow Kanye so it's getting rough. Yeah. Yeah. That merch is well made, I got to be honest. I say what you want about the symbol but the quality is top notch. Good cotton?

Soft cotton. Yeah. And his new album I think is just a swastika and his new studio is two swastikas. You know what's weird is Kanye has got all the swastikas. He wants to be a Nazi and then Elon Musk is a heil but he doesn He wants to be a Nazi. And then Elon Musk does a heil, but he doesn't want to be a Nazi. So it's almost like they should switch places. Kanye was probably like, you did the heil?

I'm doing that. That's my thing. Well, the funny thing is, is everyone was going like, it wasn't a heil, it wasn't a heil. And then you turn on Nick Fuentes, who is a, you know, he's an out Nazi. Like he wants people. And Nick Fuentes was like, fuck yeah.

Funny that Nazis have to come out now. Oh no, he he's not even there's no closets in his house he lives in a studio apartment you can see all the walls I mean he is a Nazi and he wants you to know about kid Nick Fuentes and he said he was like yeah Elon Musk fucking oh that was a Nazi salute he was like it was enthusiastic whoa the Nazis think it was a salute but everyone everyone else thinks it's an autistic dick. What's his name? Nick Fuentes? I don't know this guy.

I don't know the Latino name. Yeah, I mean, right. I'm supposed to be the Puerto Rican Nazi. Dude, racists are more diverse than anything right now. That's true. Oh, Salacu is vegan and racist. Look who just showed up. You better have been late because you're cutting my fucking promos.

It is getting more diverse. Clan rallies have Black Lives Matter stickers now. Yeah, I mean, that was a joke. Kanye is the gent of the opposite of Nazis. He's across the globe. I saw you do a bit about that, it was really funny. It's true, right? Yeah.

He's kind of a... He's got his looks good, cleanly shaven. Yeah. I like it, just the stash. Thank you for announcing. I love it. Are you on camera? Okay, let's turn that one off.

No, good to have. Is this the kid? Yeah, and he is a full-blown out, you know, white supremacist. Like, it's just like, he's all about, like, hating the Jews. Interesting. It's funny because we keep calling people Nazis, like Obama was a Nazi, Trump's a Nazi, but we actually have Nazis. No, they're, yeah, we got a lot of them. Damn. You guys want the title. Yeah, now they want it.

Yeah, it's just out. And what damn guys want the title yet. Now they want it now It's just out and what I read a the Victor Frankl's book Man's search for meaning is a Holocaust survivor and he says in the book that if you would have told him and the people that he Lived I think he was living in Germany as as a Jew that in 1930 so 15 years ish before the Holocaust stuff, that they would have been, this would have happened to them, like they would have said, you're crazy, like that's, barbarians did that 200 years ago, we're civilized, so every point in civilization, you think you're the most civilized,

that you won't do that again, and then it happens again. Yeah. We're all the same, we just keep repeating everything. They went after the rich German Jews, and they were like, these guys control everything. Exactly. Oh. And that's how it starts. That's where every conspiracy theory either starts or ends

with Jews running everything. Yeah. Yeah, well you do have a hand on a lot of things. We do. Yeah, we do. You got any spidey senses? Do you feel some tingling? Is it, are you nervous around microwaves and shit?

Can you tell if a hurricane's coming? It might be an STD, I don't know. I don't know what it is. Are you feeling any Jew stuff? On the road? No, not from my crowd. I don't go into a gas station and I'm like, oh shit. No, but you know, you gotta just get off Twitter.

Well, Jews have the cloak of white guy. Undercover. Yeah, exactly. They're like Cubans. You're Latin, you're like, are you? You look Swedish, too. You just gotta not let your Jewish tendencies come out so you're busted.

Like, you can't send food back. Right, no Pepto. Yeah. Right, not Pepsi ACR. I know. That doesn't help. I wonder who that one belongs to. Quintez breaks it.

Now you gotta like, you're feeling that, though, right? You can't have an anxiety attack in public. You gotta go into the bathroom. Like, don't let any signs show. Yeah. If someone says, is there any food allergies at the table? You just go, nope. Nope.

Then you just deal with the rash. Just take it. You just gotta deal with going to the hospital. Yeah. But you guys dominate, like I gave birth in a Jewish hospital and there was a lot of different races and whatnot. Saw some, what are you, those Muslim head things.

Yeah. So when it comes to the hospital, they want you. Like you see a Jewish doctor walk in, you go, all right, we're going to be okay. Yeah. You know? So you're, they pick and choose. They do. It's funny that the conspiracy never goes to that.

Like why are there, they're only 2% of the population, but they're 14% of doctors. Nobody ever goes, hey, what are they doing? Exactly. Well, didn't we say, didn't we talk about on his training is that it's actually a stat that Ashkenazi Jews are the smartest race, the highest intelligence, like data measured. Yeah.

Is that right? You just look at the Nobel Peace Prizes. And it's Ashkenazi. According to RFK, we're also the best at dodging COVID, which I was like, I've never heard about Jews being good at dodging any illness. He did state that. The only issue with Ashkenazi Jews is they're the smartest,

but they all look like Ari. Yeah. It's a tough trade off. But that's why Jesus is like, hey, I can't give it all. Don't you feel like the right is starting to gaslight in some way the way the left did? What do you mean? The left would be like, you'd be like,

hey, is that a dude swimming in the pool? And they're like, that is a woman. And you're going, she's 6'6". And then you go, they go, yeah, she was a guy two years ago, she was a male and you're going she's six six and you're going and then you go they go Yeah, she was a guy two years ago. She was a male swimmer. Yeah, and it's totally fine Cuz yeah, DeRosa jumps in the pool starts blowing her Everyone's just going like that's a girl. That's cool. Yeah wrong with that and like it's kind of you're going like very gas lady And now you're going you're watching Elon just go like

Yeah, and he's like it's an autistic. Yeah, I don't're watching Elon just go like. Yeah. And he's like, it's an autistic. Yeah, I don't think he's a Nazi, but I do think he's sick-hailed. I mean. Yeah. I've been full across. Yeah, twice. Yeah. That's a culture appropriation too, by the way.

Why don't we call it culture appropriation when you're Nazi-hile? Yeah. Because you're not a Nazi, so where's the left on that? Right, well where's the Germans speaking up? culture good point culture vote yeah yeah yeah my mother came on she's like did you see the good news what Elon did the right is also getting canceling I posted a baron Trump joke and it was like this is appalling you should be ashamed or abortion joke they get mad at you're like wait wait

now everyone's blue-haired we've Everyone's cool until you fuck with their shit. Yes. Silence is violence unless you speak up and say something they don't agree with, then you're a piece of shit. Yeah. Good point. Yeah. Everyone's full of shit, like, big is beautiful.

Hey, we got Ozempic. Put that in my ass. Yeah. I thought it was beautiful, you fat fuck. It made me call you pretty. Yeah. Yeah, it just shows. Literally, Ozempic is a drug that we are, like, you know how, like, people used to walk

around with, like, scurvy? We used to die of that. Obesity, and therefore type 2 diabetes, like, they don't have to exist. We can fully eradicate it with Ozempic and Mujaro and all that, but it's this life-saving drug, but now people are against it because they're like, hey, you know, don't label me that I lost my weight on Ozempic. Who gives a fuck? Just lose the weight, you fat don't don't label me that I lost my weight on Ozempia. Who gives a fuck just lose the weight You fat yeah, yeah, people say they're cheating, but it's like no it's a drug

You're we don't do that with anything when we get breast implants. We're not like she cheated. We're like cool. Yeah, great You know I like natties though. I like that. Yeah, that is a great. I don't like inflate. I don't mind fake boobs I don't like a fake butt, and I don't like fake lips or Botox But I don't know I don't mind a little you know whatever fake tit don't hurt anybody. It doesn't I don't like inflate. I don't mind fake boobs. I don't like a fake butt and I don't like fake lips or Botox But I don't know I don't mind a little you know, whatever fake tit don't hurt anybody. It doesn't I don't love it I'd rather now everything everybody would prefer natural. Yeah, you know, but I think some good fake titsies that they do Yeah, they do. They really do really do you can't tell the fake butt. I'm not into at all. No, no I don't like that. Look, that's how every influencer dies. Just like a button plan. Oh, yeah. Yeah always in Mexico Yeah, right. I was gonna say but Amber Rose and Kim K got the butt taken out

Yeah, it's it's those are some bad ones yikes. Yeah, what the hell was happening before those are what you call third-world tits Yeah, that's yeah. Yeah, that's when you go to Chile or you go to Madagascar Yeah, some implants right who releases these photos This is a bad doctor. I guess this is lawsuits Wow my tits came out like that. I'd go lawsuit Yeah, nose job was the original fake. What was the nose job? Oh, that was the original one right there I can't tell those two apart That's racist. This is all good not going anywhere What this podcast episode?

or careers But fake tits trans technology, it's going nowhere. No, it's resistant in it But you know, they all mean is this remember when Netflix used to do the DVDs? Yeah, and then they switched Streaming and people rebelled and they cancelled all their Netflix Subscriptions when the new technology came out. That's what they're kind of doing with trans. They're like resisting, but you're like, this technology's not going anywhere. It's not going anywhere.

And it's only gonna get better. It's only gonna get better. And it'll get probably more acceptable as time goes on where it's like you can just marry a trans woman and nobody even bats an eye. People are just gonna give in. The future's gonna be wild. Wait till we take, we might be drunk to Thailand.

That's been gone, it's spicy. Ladyboy! Yeah. Once, wait till the robots come out and then the trans women are gonna start protesting the robots. Oh. Well, dude, did you ever see that movie

that just came out with Megan Fox as a robot? Yes. That's a real thing that could happen. It's one of the hottest things I've ever seen. She goes, she's smoking hot, it's Megan Fox, and she goes to her owner, cause the wife is in the hospital, she goes, I sense that you're depressed. She goes, and I also sense an increase in blood pressure.

There are certain things I can do to relieve your stress about your wife. And then she goes, oh, I've just calculated a rise in blood pressure in your genitals. Whoa. And then it's like, so it's all scientific, but then her hand opens up and it's just a flesh line and she starts fucking jerking them. So she basically just acts like an Asian woman. Which is great. Right, right.

Yeah, just very subservient. That's what I kind of like once in a while. Well that's why we just want to go back to that. Let's be honest. But no, the trans women will look at the robots and go, hey, no, we're the fucking artificial women, not you. Ooh! Yeah, they'll be going like, we're...

But then they're going to go women are women, robot women are women. Yeah, robots will be like, robot women are women, and the they'll be going like, where? But then they're gonna go women are women. Robot women are women. Yeah, robots will be like, robot women are women. Yes. And the trans women will be like, no, we're the trans women that are women. But they can't win the swim meet

because they'll have malfunction in the water. They can't, they can't. But the liberals. The robots won't be able to fucking go. Yeah. The only way, they'll beat us in everything except swimming. Swimming.

It's like black people. Yeah. The liberals will let in the robots, too. And they'll be like, we have to accept the robot Yeah, and then the robots will kill all of us. Yeah, that's how it's gonna happen They're gonna be no we need a we need to tolerate them and then they're gonna yeah It's like a white American is safe in the pool. That's right and hockey a little bit there

They're starting to bleed in it's got to be a h2o either frozen bit there they're starting to bleed in it's got to be a h2o either frozen or liquid exactly now wait a minute we got Leah Thomas dominating the other lady whatever why aren't trans women going into the WNBA yeah what what's taking so long that could save the sport right yeah the sports no one watches it you want a man yeah do, you want a man. No one even wants that movie No, no one wants to see that. I mean Brittney Griner's in there You can't tell me but I'm talking man to woman you're talking man. She's going woman to runner Yeah, no, Brittney Griner's just so I think she's just a Lesbo, but you think she looks like a me So that was Pete David. I think the verdict is not out. I mean he got his tattoos removed

She looks like she's never had tits. I heard heard on fresh air and she said when she goes in the bathroom She has to pull down her pants so people aren't mad right people be like what the fuck and then she has to like shows You the vagina people like sorry. Yeah, which is like that you gotta feel kind of bad Yeah, another thing robots won't have to worry about yeah, what do you talk back because her voice is very masculine to you Yeah, really yeah there well there has to be a trans man, or like in any sport. Well the boxer controversy. Oh yeah, yeah. But that was a woman, wasn't it?

That was, she just had really high levels of testosterone. Well this is how you know sports should be separated by sex and not gender identity, because there is no controversy on the other side. Exactly. Because if there was a trans man who could cover Odell Beckham Jr. in the open field, I mean those jerseys would fly off the fucking...

Sure. Oh, yeah. That would be a hero. But it's just not possible. Right. Yeah. It's not possible for someone who was born a woman to cover Odell Beckham. Well, how do they argue that?

Like, if you said that to, like, a trans activist, how would they... They can't because there's nothing you can say because it's true. Because there is no controversy on... There's no conservatives getting riled up about trans men and men's sports because they can't because sports is separated by sex not gender identity and that there is no controversy on the male side shows that there's an unfair advantage for trans women going into women's sports. Very interesting. It's just what it is you can support trans women but you got to say hey sports are separated by sex not gender

identity and then you just end the whole fucking thing there You go fuse the whole thing. Oh, yeah, you're running for office. Yeah You go trans women are for sneak secretly sneaking around with uh-huh Yeah, very simple thing and put them in the military that would scare the Russians Yeah, transfer in my internet history, and then they got raced immediately That was a joke I tried the other night but being trans is already kind of like being the military because you got to get a new haircut and You got to figure out how to work a different piece

And your dad is like hope he comes back That's great Call me WNBA to lower the rim. Oh really really yeah to make it more like More dunking or activity around the rim. It would help numbers I would help numbers because the thing is with the WNBA. It's not men not watching it. It's women not watching Of course. Yeah, it's so so you can't blame that on men because the women I've I've two daughters I've asked my older daughter. Let's go to WNBA games. She's like these are not as fun as the Nick games Yeah, go to the again better though. They're getting oh, yeah. They are they're getting better. I like Clark is I love it

Yeah, hey, Clark is awesome to watch. She's awesome. And the reason why she's awesome is not because she's white, doesn't hurt. There's a lot of white people in the country, but it's because she shoots bombs. She shoots bombs like Steph Curry. That's like the dunk in women's basketball. Whoa, she shot it from the right. Who's more fun to watch than Steph Curry? No, she's the best. Well, you know, and dunks are fun.

Mac McClung, it's like, give him a contract, dude. But he's not in the NBA. Put him somewhere. It's so sad the way they wheel him out at All-Star Weekend every year, like a freak show. Yeah, but I mean, he's a white kid who can dunk. Really? He's in the G League. He's won the last three dunk contests. He's unbelievable.

Really? Pull him up. Yeah, he jumps over cars. What? He's unbelievable. Just roam on the Kings to sell tickets. Mac McClung. And you know what's happening now, same thing that's happening in comedy, these kids, they get drafted to the NBA or D1 scholarships

because they go viral on social media from the stuff they can do and then they get an agent like we would and it's the same thing. Look at this. Look at this honky fly. He's 6'2 and he's white. 6' this. Look at this honky fly. Look at this. He's 6'2", and he's white. 6'2". Look at how sick this is. This is crazy.

The thing is, it's like even the best dunkers in the NBA just can't do this. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. No, they can't. No. Who's the best NBA moment?

Aaron Gordon did this, and he didn't do it as good, because Aaron Gordon just jumped over the car. But also being that tall is like a disadvantage. Yeah, he's 6'2 because you're not as athletic. I mean, when I grew up, yeah, when I grew up, and if you told me the best dunker in a basketball player was a six-foot-two white guy, and the best running back in football would be a white guy.

Christian McCaffrey, yeah. I mean, I'd be like, what? Oh, boy, we're taking over. Yeah. It's over. Yeah, look at this. We're gentrifying sports. Yeah, look at this. But it is crazy how the NBA just adjusts the rules now

because he's not even in the NBA. No. Right. He's in the G. Yeah, but they know what's good for ratings because that All-Star weekend was, you see what hockey is doing? It's so much better.

No. No, I don't. They do like the tournament, so it was, I think it was Sweden, America, Canada, and I believe Finland. That was for the All-Star game? That was their All-Star weekend. I didn't know that.

So these guys are savages. US and Canada, three fights in the first nine sets. Yeah! And you know, the Kachuk brothers are fucking psychos. Psychos. They're awesome. Couple of hunks. Yeah, and I mean, that's cool, man.

You're repping your country as opposed to this All-Star game, which in the NBA, they don't even try. Right. They don't give a shit. So you're saying do a mini-do that in basketball. game, which in the NBA, they don't even try. They don't give a shit. So you're saying do a mini, do that in basketball. Well, yeah, well they say they don't wanna get injured, which I totally get, because how mad would you be if your star player got injured?

But like, look at these fucking hockey, there's like more pride in hockey, I feel like. Oh yeah, yeah. And when your country's on the line, like I mean, look what America did in the Olympics when we fucked up every, I mean, we barely beat France, but Curry just going off. By the way, one of the best Netflix documentaries is Court of Gold did you

see that Court of Gold dude on Netflix it's about it's a documentary about the 2024 Paris basketball this is a peeve of mine the documentary coming out immediately after I think there's got to be a reminisced period right before I want like ten years that was like that movie, Nicholas Cage, about 9-11. Yeah. It came out like nine months after 9-11. Yeah, even on 9-12. Yeah. Did you guys, were you writing the script

like while the towers were burning? Yeah, probably. NBA views are way down. Yeah. Really? It's really bad. Why? But it's also people watching a lot of different ways.

Like, you know. But I think NFL's up. Yeah, let's games. Let's games. Yeah, and NFL's just the American sport. Yeah. Holiday, it's a Sunday. NFL's always gonna be the biggest in America,

but NBA's international, man, it's huge. We had Pac-Man Jones on History High, and as yesterday it was unreal to talk to an NFL frickin' cornerback who's just, doesn't give a fuck. Trump, Giannis said, what did you say? He said something about Trump, and he's like, I voted for Trump, I already told you that. Frickin corner back like who's just doesn't give a fuck it's Trump Yana said what did you say? He said something about Trump. He's like I voted for Trump. I already told you that yeah He got mad at you. He was like I told you I vote for Trump I told told you that was like up and then I asked him which group is the worst and you know what he said unfortunately blacks

He said no answer was gonna make us feel good yeah He said in you it said be like all right. Yeah, us feel good. Yeah, it's Pac-Man Jones. If he said Inuits, I'd be like, all right. Yeah. I think we edited that part out, but I guess not now. Yeah. No, he said it. Yeah, I was just asking a question. It was, but he was just, I don't agree.

He was just saying that, because I asked him, I wondered, we do comedy and stuff, like times where you're like, do you ever forget that you're a pro athlete and feel, not ungrateful, but just like, do you ever not pinch yourself you're a pro athlete and like feel on not ungrateful But you know just like do you ever like not pinch yourself? He goes every day in my life I couldn't believe that I was playing in the NFL. I love that cool I like that about because you know some guys you go get all the money all the fame

They don't feel that way, but he did he keep money, huh? Did he keep any he said he spent a lot of it stupid, but he still has enough money. Oh, yeah What was the dumbest thing he spent it on? A slave? I mean, I think he was wearing some of the dumbest stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, his chains were pretty crazy. But he was funny.

He was cool. He was a great dude. I like him. Back to NBA for a second. If this McClung guy isn't, you're saying he's not pro level. He's not. Well, what about Brawny? He got in.

He stinks. Right. Geez, I wonder how he got in. I know, but I'm saying if he got in, you could put in the cracker. Yeah, Matt McClung's father owns a auto zone. Yeah. That's the difference. Get in the zone. Auto zone.

It just shows you America, I think, at its core. Depotism exists everywhere. It exists everywhere. It exists everywhere. And it's not about color as much as it is about money. Bronnie's a power bronnie the power or connections I can act LeBron's a powerful guy He is the NBA but he shows things have flipped that now the white guys dunking can't get a job black guy sucks

He got hired right that we flipped in every way in the end. That's what that's what we wanted here Yeah, people still fucking complaining. I know we got it made I mean listen a DEI hire in the NBA would be a white guy at this point for a long time You know what? Asian or Indian Even when we were bringing up I always thought about this even when we're bringing up, you know over the last few years, you know Filling quotas and DEI hiring that doesn't apply to sports sports You can have an all-black team an all-white team in hockey

You don't you don't ever have to do that and fill a quota in sports. So what's the difference between? Well, in the arts versus sports? Because you can bullshit in the arts. Yeah, exactly. Subjective versus actual hard statistics. Right, but I'm just saying, it's bullshit. If it's got to be DEI, it's got to be everywhere.

If you really believe it, might as well put it everywhere. Yeah. Right. But it would ruin sports. Sports would go through the floor. That's what I'm sayingI. It's got to be everywhere. If you really believe it might as well put it everywhere Yeah, right, but it would ruin sports sports would go through the that's what I'm saying So that's why it would be kind of funny if they forced a DEI hire for like four minutes a game. Yeah Yeah, bring in the Indian guy Although Jeremy Lin it worked against him because they profiled him being like well We've never seen a dude who looks like this. Yes, who's good enough for this level, right?

So that's why it worked against him, and then he was like oh shit. He's he also went to Harvard Yeah, he's fucking up dudes at Yukon at Harvard. We have an Indian guy in the NBA Steph Curry We need one of those breakaway bottles Can we get more of those? Those were fun. Yeah, those were fun. Yeah, you guys cracked me over the head with one last time I was here.

We pick and choose, though, because we all love Ukraine. But gay marriage isn't legal there. So all these Americans were like, we're all racist. And this country sucks. And you're like, yeah, but Zelinsky's your hero. He's anti-gay. Yeah, he'd throw you off a roof if you went to Ukraine yeah yeah and he's dressed like a ninja yeah so but that's just can you be gay in Russia no I don't think they're cool to gaze there let him fight it out ha ha ha ha

gays can fight yeah let him people don't realize they have it the best here and yeah they just do I don't care what you tell me they just have it the best here so shut up do. I don't care what you tell me. They just have it the best here, so shut up. There's some places that might be, I love America, there might be some places that are nice to live. There are some good places. No, but I'm saying, there's really like, there's not like outrageous issues here like there are in other countries.

I mean, you're pretty much safe to do whatever you want, despite what you think. Yeah, the only issue here is that like, women have a lot to say. Right. Well, the Texas abortion stuff, you'll get that. I'm just kidding. I'm joking. He's in his marriage chuck right now.

Exactly. But you can move within the country. I know it's not what you wanted to, but you can move within the confines, and you can find a place that will allow it. Other nations, you cannot, they're not going to let you get an abortion anywhere in Russia. No, it is. You go to certain cities. certain cities go to small towns like the liberal small town and you go to the coffee shop And the barista's trans and you're like good

Yeah, good. That's what they do here. They're nice safe space. Yeah Yeah, exactly. I think so best thing America can hope for is that is like everyone stopped complaining Like everyone want to be trans go to Vermont, right? Leave Arkansas first one should leave Arkansas anyway, right? to be trans, go to Vermont, leave Arkansas. First of all, you should leave Arkansas anyway. If you're trans, you should definitely leave Arkansas. Go to Vermont, just move to Vermont. And if you're like really into Jesus or whatever, like, fucking go anywhere.

And it works both ways, because Musk or Rogan's like, it's too woke here, I'm leaving. I'm going to Texas, or I'm going to Phoenix. You're never going to get everyone to like your shit. Everyone's just gotta respect their differences, right? You gotta do it to Jews, they're just different, they run the banks, accept it. Yeah, I'll be right back. Let me get out of here.

That's what I like, yummy. Hello, bully boy. Love that painting. One of my faves. This is hanging in Epstein's home. Yeah. Is it? Yes, it was. Now who gets it? It's not the only thing that was hanging in Epstein's home. Yeah, is it? Yes it was now who gets not the only thing

I was hanging in Epstein's home Do you know that the JFK is supposed to be files are supposed to be released today? I'm not holding my breath eight thousand page eighty thousand pages. Yeah, but all the names and everything got redacted They said because of national security. Hmm. That's what they said and that Trump's team said that so it's like right Well, he was the one he was the one who promised right yeah the new Epstein or not Epstein new JFK files is this black runner who hit the lady with a baton you following this what oh pull that up This is huge news. Oh, but was by accident or no well That's the question was by accident, but when you watch it you go. How is that an accent the other girl?

Thank God. They're both black because this would be a fucking riot in the street if this was a white lady. This is the was it a how, Hitler or not of sports. Yes, exactly. This is taking over the internet. Oh my God! That's a metal baton. Wow. This is Latonya Harding. Oh my god. Did she lose the race after that or what?

Oh that's brutal. Played it black and to the left. Oh my god. Latonya Harding. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Wow. Yeah that's sports, baby. Yeah.

Where was that? In what part of the world? I'm going to go with the South. Black names are the best. Yeah. Chris had a joke on History Higheen is that, like, tariffs are so big that some black kids are going to be named Tarif. Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. There's going to be a whole generation of Tarifs. Tarif. Tarif Jenkins coming. Tarif Jenkins, yeah. Boy, Canada hates us, huh? You know, at the hockey game, when they booed us? Like generations of three three three three Jenkins coming three Jenkins. Yeah Boy Canada hates us. You know what the at the hockey game when they booed us Yeah, Trump apparently did a speech to the to the players in the locker room before like go out fuck them up kill them This is America because I'm like who the national anthem. Yeah, that's what happened. So we got all hyped They got all hyped up. Yeah, they're not thrilled over there. No, we were at this game last night.

Oh, shit. Giannis, our seats last night were directly next to the Knicks bench. Like I'm talking about the closest Knicks to us was right here. I got to admit, I think it was one of the best nights of my life. Come on.

We were watching Tom Thibodeau coach on the plate. I tried to get us tickets when it was two last minutes. I appreciate it. And then so we're watching the game and then you honest you honest goes dude I think Tracy Morgan's throwing up and I was like what I thought I just might have been the first person that saw it in Madison Square Garden. Yeah, it was like this and they just went wow Well, he couldn't get up like something what happened? Did we find out what happened? Yeah, he said it's food poisoning Yeah, I heard Walmart's behind it

You get a sweet settlement It was it's bad, dude Cuz he was just like sitting there like like just vomiting and I was like he must not be able to get up Yeah, and they had taken him out on a wheelchair But uh the craziest part of all that is this will help himself tickets. Oh, he could do an arena after that I was literally I was wishing that I was right next to him with a shirt that said, come see me 9-11. Yeah, exactly. That said MSG 9-11 with two thumbs up.

That's what I wanted. Look at the girl's face, she was just looking away. We were sitting directly across from those two chicks. That's quite a snap. He got the mid flow of the puke and everything. Yeah, it was, he was puking like profusely, projectile, and then even when they put him in the wheelchair, he was just vomiting everywhere. Holy moly.

It was bad. It was an incredible night. We sat like V2 seats next to the Knicks bench, so we were just in the huddle. We were on the Knicks. That's amazing. Yeah, it was one of the coolest experiences ever. The Kid in Me was just going nuts.

I still, it was one of the best nights of my life The kid in me is also the name of Epstein's novel I mean the Knicks aren't that bad Jesus. Yeah, it was it was wild wasn't the mesh Patel's Netflix catch him on shot the whole thing at New York comedy left to sign up at everything for him. Oh, there it is Yeah, there it is yeah there is Steph Curry it's Indian meme song that's what it's called they have one song over there how does that work there's like this is 18 million people or whatever there's one song apparently the snake charming very cruel to the snake yeah apparently I could see that yes. It's like fucking with them. Oh

Like it's like our laser pointer with a cat. No. I think it's worse. Oh, okay Shit, yeah, I would think the rapes over there. We're not hurting their feelings. They don't have they don't have them snakes Yeah, they have no feelings really so if you're gonna fuck with some Fuckers are you could you know animals is that an actual actual fact yeah, they're reptiles. They don't feelings They just because their brains are too small like they just eat and yeah, the lizard right yeah, it's a lizard burn They have no feelings right nothing. I know alligators are like that too. They just eat nothing search for food. That's it Yeah, they fucking live a peaceful existence you ever see a lick lizard Just anything they could just meditate and chill like that?

No feelings, it must be great. Psychopaths have no stress, no anxiety. Snake brains are really great, like peaceful. They don't get anxiety, they don't worry about shit. We gotta meditate for hours just to get a glimpse of what a psychopath feels every second of every day. But we got Uber Eats, you know, it's the toss up. What do you want?

But yeah, alligators, pull this up if you can. Oh, this is a crab being cooked and he's eating. Wow. He's going out like a fucking G though. Yeah, he is. A G. An alligator in Louisiana, when it snowed for like 10 seconds, the swamp froze and the alligator froze,

and then it just hung out, and then it thawed, and he swam away. Wow. Wow. Yeah, they're dinosaurs. Yeah, they're really... They just survive anything. The only way to kill an alligator, I don't know if you guys watch swamp people,

these are my roots, but you gotta go up and shoot it at a certain part of the head. You can stab it, you can shoot it in the back, you can, you know, flamethrower, you gotta shoot it in one part of the skull, it's the only way to kill it. Wow. Really?

Yeah. Now your ancestors that went to New Orleans, They did some bad stuff. Oh, yeah awful We were talking about that before like the Norman family name like there's something you were not kind to people who had a little More melanin in the skin well in my defense. I'm half Guinea and they we were hung like half Italian in New Orleans Yeah, they hated Italian more more times got lynched in Louisiana than Jews. Wow! I didn't know that. Oh, yeah, big Italian hate down there. Wow. Nice. We don't get any love for it. Why is that? I think as we were a little swardier, a little grosser, greasier. Yeah. You know, we were louder.

Yeah, they didn't like them over here for a while. Cold sauce gravy. Yeah, exactly. A lot of annoying stuff. Lynching's a murder of 11 Italians. Yeah, exactly macro lynchings murder of 11 times a Wow, yeah, that was a Tuesday Those are some guys right before they got hung. They just called out ma Yankee score Jason Giambi for life. Yeah. Free Luigi.

Ma. I love this fucking country. Yeah. What does free Luigi mean? What are they supposed to do? Let him out of jail? You're not gonna frame him. What else could it mean?

I know, but like why are they, like what are you supposed to do? Like is murder not supposed to apply just because you hate insurance companies? What are you supposed to do? That's a good question. It's a silly statement. He shot a dad in the back.

I had three kids. Maybe they need a new... You're almost going like, Free Luigi. Free Luigi from what? He committed murder. Well, that's what it is. People think, I think this. I hate this guy.

I hate this company. So shoot people. That's where we're at now. It's just like, I don't like someone to get rid of it. I understand their point. They're saying, the insurance companies are bad, but the guy did commit a murder. We have laws.

Like, what do you, how do you feel? You gotta do it. Also, it didn't work. Yeah. Health care still sucks. Yeah. Like it didn't even help. Yeah.

But it got us talking. It got us talking. That's right. That's the first start of the dialogue. Man, when I saw Norman in the ice bath yesterday, I said, body by Luigi. Yeah. Yeah.

I got to have something to do with how hot he is What about this sex tape this sex tape that's they're apparently trying to get for 500 grand with Louie What have you heard about this donate from the jail cell or you know no before that buddy just some black guy ram it Oh, yeah One of my friends money well spent you know one of my friends is a cop one of my friends a cop I was like what he goes there was a new guy that got was in the jail This is like a week ago, and he texts me goes, bro He goes one of the head guys in the head prisoners in the jail just told this new kid

He had the kid was taking a shit He goes the prisoner comes by the jail cell and he goes turn around look at the wall and don't wipe Oh, I was like natural lube exactly by the jail cell and he goes, turn around, look at the wall and don't wipe. Ooh. I was like what? Natural lube. Exactly. Ooh. Yikes.

Jeez, that's not good. Ooh. It was Diddy. Yeah. But Pink Eye. They're in the same jail by the way. Yeah. Diddy, Luigi, and somebody, and a third one.

Bankman Fried. That's who it is, right? It's like an old joke. The big three, yeah. Yeah, a Jew, an Italian, and a black walking to a cell. I'll put that big three up against any other No, that's crazy crazy baby oil meets olive oil. Yeah, I love it Yeah, this is a wacky time to be alive It is a wacky time to be alive, you know Luigi gets all the props in there he because

White-collar I guess you get some love but the way he did it is right is more fucked up Like I feel like made off got more props in prison than a guy like bankman freed good point, right? Yeah, bankman free and now and out of those. I mean look at this. He's a gay man though. That's a gay He's definitely gay. Yeah, it has to be you can't get that ripped unless you're that's why you had back problems Yeah, so I think you're a fucking homo Norman You queer I mean that is that is a that is a 10 out of 10 bod. Yeah. Killer bod.

Yeah, dude, would you? Again? No, hell yeah, dude. Apparently, real bad back problems, too. I'd fuck him for... No. And he eats a McDonald's, too, which is even more impressive. Yeah.

I mean, he is a hottie. He's a hottie with a body. Yeah. Yeah, like, that's like, you know, one of those, if like even more impressive. Yeah, I mean, he is a hottie. He's a hottie with a body. Yeah, like, that's like, you know, one of those, if like your ex-girlfriend, if like your girlfriend, if that was like her last boyfriend, it just hurts. Oh. Just hurts if it's this guy. Yeah, when girls go and do a semester in Italy,

like, you know, like rich girls, that's what they think they're gonna meet a guy like that. Right. Yeah, that's their dream. So I think it's playing into their... Instead they meet a guy who looks like Salacuse. That's what happens. He changed him to a radiator.

He's like, I'll feed you when I feel like it. He goes, I wanna edit your pussy. He's just taking photos. She's chained up. It is true when you go to Italy, there's like three Luigi's and the rest of them just look like Polly Walnuts. They're short people, the Italians. Not this one. Jacked, ripped. How tall is he? I'm gonna go six even.

I'm gonna go five, nine. Yeah, I don't think he was as tall as okay Remember Paulie Walnuts used to live in Bay Ridge. Yeah, you're honest We used to see him where his apparel Really? We used to go walk down by the water in Bay Ridge when we were doing those Bay Ridge boys stuff Which we just put another episode out by the way Chris Mullen and the crew of 82. Yeah, that's up at YouTube I thought you got Chris Mullen in there

No We did a sketch about how because I have a good jump shot that I am I possibly Chris Mullins illegitimate son And we just wrote a whole sketch about it. It's allegedly we got word that him and his family don't appreciate it. Well Yeah, he loved it though Mitch Richmond Mitch Richmond. He reached out to he reached But we heard the rock. Yeah, he was a badass. Yeah, we heard that uh, you know, he didn't appreciate the fact that we were Alluding to the fact that maybe cheated on his wife in 1982 So I guess that wasn't that wasn't appreciate the fact that we were alluding to the fact that maybe he cheated on his wife in 1982. So I guess that wasn't family watching for them. But it was just a sketch.

Yeah, it's a sketch. Chris doesn't know his pops and then his mom, who is played by the woman from, she was in Orange is the New Black. She was great. Okay, she was great, yeah. But we would see Paulie Walnuts and he, so what his real story is, you know he got on The Sopranos? So he was a real mobster. That's real.

And so he came in for an audition, and he told, they auditioned all these people, and he told the casting agent, he goes, listen, me and David Chase, he fucking knows me, so he already told me I got the part. And then the casting agent was like, well, obviously I have to audition people, whatever, and I wasn't told of that.

And he goes, I got the part. I know him, he's a friend of mine. Wow. And then she allegedly says something like, he knows we already spoke that I gotta get that part, so you're gonna just give me the part now, and if you let him know that I told you anything about it, there's gonna be a bigger problem for him. So it was this whole thing that was all made up, and she just give me the part now, and if you let him know that I told you anything about it, there's gonna be a bigger problem for him.

So it was this whole thing that was all made up, and she just gave him the part. What? And supposedly, that's a story I heard from guys that know him that know the real him. He's a legitimate, like I saw him one time leaving the supermarket, and he was holding all his bags. Like he had like so many bags.

Like he was like in his 80s, so I said to him, I said, hey. Is there pinkie in there? You know, his name's Tony Cerrico. So I said, hey, I said, hey. Is there pinkie in there? Yeah. His name's Tony Cerrico. So I said, hey, Mr. Cerrico. My name's Chris. I live in the neighborhood.

Would you like any help with your bags? He goes, I ain't no fucking mook. I'll take my own bags. Damn. And I was like, all right. See you later. He was in Goodfellas, too. And Boys Over Broadway.

Yeah. So he had a resume. Yeah. He fought his way into every role. Hey, Woody. I got the part. Yeah. Right. That's a look, dude. Woody, I got the pot. Yeah, right. That's a look, dude.

He was great on the show. Oh my god, he's fucking amazing. Perfect. You can't picture anyone else as Polly Walnut. I mean that hair, look at the hair. Did he recognize you once too? Yeah. What'd he say again?

The supermarket thing. No, but didn't he say like take care of his stuff or something to a guy helping him to you? No, well he told me later on, he was like, somebody said I was like a comedian, he goes I like what you do and you represent the neighborhood. Hey, he does the three like this.

Yeah. Hey T, that's what Trump did with Zelensky, he did that one, if you could pull that up. I might know when Zelensky got yelled at. Is that Chas Palmiteri from Bronx Tale? He does it too. The Bulls. I think you're the comedian's get guys. Yeah, yeah Chas Palma Terry from Bronx tail. He doesn't yeah the Bulls I Think you're the comedian for these guys. Yeah, I get no Sebastian is I'm not I'm not I'm the guy for maybe their sons I'm not so dumb Sebastian all any hope I had of getting this fan base was just taken by Sebastian

It was dice Sebastian now you yeah, yeah, well Based off my ticket sales, not me. But you're doing great, dude. No, we are. We're doing good. Damn. What, he died? I didn't even know he died.

Holy walnuts died a few years ago. Yeah. Not that old either. 79? Guys lived in their 90s. That's ultra gangster. That is. That's a good point.

Yeah. Damn, Biden's 80. Yeah. 81? 81 probably. The hell are you doing, Yannis? I'm getting a snooze. Snooze. Yeah, you got to get a snooze. You Damn, Biden's 80. Yeah. 81? 81 probably. The hell are you doing, Yannis? I'm getting a snooze. Snooze.

Yeah, you got to get a snooze. You're addicted to the snooze. What is this, Yannis? It's this. It's the 19th. Oh, no, no. Snooze is not a good word for that. Why are you taking that?

Makes you up. I still call it snooze because it's sweet. Guy who's drunk at noon. Yeah. Yeah. I do do that to people. I'm like, there's processed sugar in that. Meanwhile, I'm six Manhattan's deep Sorry for my bad habits Sam. Yeah. No, I Peter call me out for that on the road

I I was like, nah, there's too much sugar in this and I was I was drunk as I was giving him the advice Yeah, even it out at least I even right but still drinking. Yeah. Yeah, you would try to be healthy We're having some some bad ethnic farts on that pull up the video I send you this bus one of tour bus right now, and there are some bad farts on this bus. It's Look at the little smile at the end look at this devious. Oh wow not happening on the tigna tarot tour Dude thing yeah Good bass and treble. Oh, he's so proud because his farts are the loudest. Yeah.

Littlest guy with the loudest ass. Yeah, well done. There will be a lot of silences on the bus and then there will be like just like a horrible smell and we'll look around like who did it. Yeah. But what can you do? We're all doing it. You're trying to eat clean and you know you will get but like

What's the healthy option this time get like Turkish food, and then our asshole just yeah, yeah You can't you can't poop on that bus no You guys like the bus you like I like it yeah for my lifestyle. I like it for you You got a you got a family well. No I just for that alone I'm like I gotta be able to shit. I mean you saw what I did in your bathroom. Yeah, I smelled it I went in right after you. I was furious. I was like, this guy's a fucking pig. Yeah.

We did an episode on Louis XIV, and there was no toilets in Versailles except for his toilet. Come on. So everyone would just shit all over Versailles. In the palace, like behind a curtain. Shit, there was no toilet. Yeah.

What? The only toilet was his. Was that a mental thing? Like a power move? It could have been because he actually would do business meetings on the shit. It was part of the ritual for everyone to gather around and watch him shit. Wow. And then he had anal-

He's really rubbing it in too. He is rubbing it in. Just taking his shit and then he had anal fistulas which is like protruding blisters coming out of his asshole and they didn't know like what to do is because of poor hygiene Yeah, and then so to in they finally like fixed it kind of a little bit with the surgery But because they didn't want to just practice the first time on the king They took like 14 15 peasant. They just sort of ripping apart their assholes The technique killing them they didn't care throwing him down the toilet Then they got it right for King well

You know what it is if you sit on the shitter for too long you get the hemorrhoids So yeah, you're shitting for weeks Yeah, but how it's so easy to send the toilet forever you just bring a laptop in you throw on a fucking dock yeah 16 yeah It's yeah, right dude if I were 2% like I will fucking even if I have diarrhea. I will wait Just to be able to take my phone into the shitter yeah, yeah, I shitting without your phone you're going with laptop That's bad. You got a phone is phone is bad enough. You're going with a full Some work emails, but I go in with a desktop. You don't want to watch a Ken Burns

Just some work emails. Dude, I go in with a desktop. You don't want to watch a Ken Burns in there. I bring the whole thing in. You got Ken Burns Civil War. You're going to get a please. I'm going in with a fucking Zenith TV. But can you imagine people used to shit without phones? I would stare at a wall.

I remember you'd pick up an A-Tex. You'd bring books. Books. You would read the shampoo bottle. Yeah. I made it work in the 90s. You would think. You would think.

You would think. You'd be bored for a second. Well, that's why meditation is. I saw an article about this, that's why it's so important today and why they're trying to ram it down your throats to meditate is because you never give your brain a moment. Never.

Because you're constantly occupied. So that's why they're saying if you can just detach for 20 minutes, your brain will be like, you'll feel like a superhero, where if 40 years ago, you didn't have to do it as much, because you had just these times in nature or not looking, not having to be stimulated all the time. I see when my kid, I gave my daughter, she's nine,

I gave her a cell phone, but it's called GAB, G-A-B-B, so it's specifically designed to help children who have to lean into technology, because the world we live in, but not get addicted to the phone. So it's like, it's not an iPhone, it can only do certain things, it only can send out like 100 texts in the day,

it doesn't have any social media apps, nothing. I kinda like the idea of 100 texts, then you're like, oh these actually mean something. Yeah. But even her, even with that, if you, once you tell her, hey, time for no phone, you give her like a five minute grace period, it's like a drug when you take it from them,

like she's so angry and then she's so agitated. I have a three year old, so a three year old would be a three year old. And she doesn't really annoy her that much. But when my daughter's on the phone and my three year old starts running around, she starts screaming at my daughter. And I'm like, oh shit,

that's how we all are as adults subconsciously. Especially if you have kids, the only time I ever really ever yell at my kids is when I'm trying to Do something on my phone, and they're just asking me to be their father right not right now I got a post well It makes you wonder has hemorrhoids gone up because you get on the toilet, and it's your only alone time Yeah, so you're gonna have to sit for a while you're gonna text you're gonna do emails You're gonna look at you know shark attacks or whatever sure I have them on the inside of my asshole

And they just said leave them you have any's yeah, I got any's oh They just flatten the shit as they come out so it's right like a rolling pin I remember that when you should take you should take pencil shits. We used to call them. Yeah, I was worried I was like is this a prostate colon cancer or something. Yeah, you guys hate your prostates your shifts look like the ketos Come out like tacos. Yeah You got pegged it might clean house a little bit. Well, that's what we were saying the other day like a little like because we were talking about Louie the 14th And he's like why doesn't a guy just come and just clean it out with his talk?

That's what Yannis has on the inside of his ass. Yeah, I haven't I haven't gotten one yet How would you need to get them really really get them? Yeah, I just tell everybody yeah, colonoscopy I'm 38 at what age do I have to get them? I got my first one at 35. Dude, the propofol alone, you feel great. They're already lowering it. I do like the propofol. And it's an epidemic. I have four polyps.

Really? People need to know. It's the most preventable cancer. Do it, just get one. I had four polyps when I was 35. I had like seven when I was four. Whoa! And it's, as long as you go, they know how long they grow.

So what they do is they burn them off for you, and then my doctor says come back every five years. Yeah, three to five years, but because they know What it's okay to have them the pile they know they take this long to grow right so that's what it is We've lost every young listener on this You gotta get rid of those polyps we're doing a service to people right now go just tell you Tell your doctor. I feel bloated something's up, I'm getting some pain, they give you a colonoscopy, and then if you have them, they take them out.

It is the most, it's like. You wanna do it together? Patreon. Yeah. Do it for the Patreon. It's the most preventable cancer, if you catch it early, it's the most deadly if you don't, you're dead, if they grow up.

I wish my biological father had it, it would have been nice to have him kick the dirt. Right. Yeah. He had prostate cancer. There's a pain in your ass. prostate cancer the only fucking thing he passed down to me yeah you ever see you know no I don't see him he'd come in on a walker speaking of hemorrhoids when you're looking for the most comfortable underwear

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By the way, I did a gig this weekend. Chevy Chase shows up. Whoa! In a wheelchair. Whoa! Where was it? We did that Adam Ray thing, Dr. Phil, and it was at Chicago Theater, so it was like a big one,

and Chevy Chase got wind of it, and he just showed up with his handler and wheel chaired it in. And he did a set? He did a little interview for like 10 minutes, and then, how was he? Eh, a little pers for like 10 minutes and then. How was he? Eh, a little persnickety. Yeah.

You know, he didn't. What is it? Because they always say he's like so tough to be around, but like is it ego? Is it like, what is it about him? I don't know, that's a good question. I think it's ego. I think he's just like, he's just that guy.

He's like, I'm a dick. And he's a difficult guy. That's what I hear. I didn't even ask for a photo. I was like, holy shit, that guy's a, you know, comedic legend, vacation and all that. That was funny, you were like, he's a dick. And he goes, and he's a I hear. I didn't even ask for a photo. I was like, holy shit, that guy's a comedic legend vacation and all that. That was funny, you were like, he's a dick. And he goes, and he's a difficult guy.

But there's a difference. There's a difference, yeah. You know what's crazy too about like. You're dick and you're difficult, then you're a real dick. I guess I'll be a real dick. This guy, Dan I know, he told me, you know like what's happening like in comedy

with all of us being like, you know, Adam Ray selling out the Chicago Theater, what the venue sides were doing. He said he used to book the Chicago theater in the late 90s He goes in in the late 90s. It was like Unheard of for a comedian even a big comedian to be able to sell that place out He said I had Don Rickles in there Wow 1999 we have to curtain off the balcony Wow As a legend already for years, and he said, so what we're doing with these ticket sales?

He was like, this is crazy and unheard of and you guys should be happy with what's going on, even if the sales are down a little bit because he was like, this did not happen ever in comedy. Rickles is looking up at the curtain all sad, there should be a up there. It's that scene from Louie was the best scene about that. Oh, yeah with the Dane Cook one No, Joan Rivers Joan Rivers. That was great. What was what great episode great episode of Atlantic goes back to like the cabaret

Yeah, he's like that complaining. He's complaining about the room. He's in the small room She's in the big room and she gives him this speech about like hey, that's the career You go big small back to the big small. Yeah, they just tries to kiss her. It's so yeah, I think they fuck at the end Yeah, yeah, that's the career. You go big, small, back to the big, small, and then he just tries to kiss her. It's so funny. Yeah, I think they fuck at the end. Yeah, yeah, it's really funny. Yeah, but it's just cool. It's cool because it's coming from her.

Yeah, right. Like, I've seen one that carried weight if it wasn't like Joan. It had to be Joan Rivers. It had to be Joan. And the fact that she's been through hell, you know she went through hell. That hack show kind of covers this.

They do a good job of doing the old school, new school, and the older ladies like You got it good. You're a writer. You work in air conditioning craft service, you know, you get free lunches Shut the fuck up. She's like I had to grind my way to the top Guy that asshole Take your jobs from you know when you're lucky Yeah, I know. I mean I know all that it's just that sometimes I get sick of the bullshit Sick of the bullshit. Sick of the bullshit?

What is your problem? I'm a million years old. You know where I've been through? I've been in this business for a million and two years, and I'm a woman. I'm a woman. It's not easy. Do you know how many blowjobs I had to give to get where I am now? Come on, give me, give me another, give me another. How many blowjobs did it take for Joan Rivers where I am now? Come on, give me a number. Give me a number. How many blowjobs did it take for Joan Rivers to end up in a suite with lots of flowers? I don't wanna guess that.

Guess, come on. To go from clubs to Carson and Carson to Fox and my own show or daytime and Emmy and then I'm over with the red carpet. Give me a number. Give me a number. I don't wanna guess. And then Melissa and I have my own show.

Give me a number. Guess, guess, come on. Give me a number. Guess, guess, guess, guess, guess. I want to get Melissa my own show was just give me another guess guess come on Give me a guess guess guess guess guess one of your number Forty Pull up her red carpet stuff like Like she has a best friend. She goes, the answer was none, you idiot. But yeah, dude, I mean, Louis's new shit, by the way, is fucked. Oh my God.

His new hour is incredible. He's fucking locked in right now. This shit would be on Kill Tony now. I'm not going to say, how do you do, I'm gonna say get to the actors She was a beast the rivers filthy raw fun Offensive I love the dog. Yeah It's the best she's just I saw her live I went wow yeah Really? Yeah, we went to she used to do this basement of this Chinese restaurant

Like right in midtown. It's like a workout room. Yeah, we went to she used to do this basement of this Chinese restaurant Like right in midtown. It's like a workout room. Yeah, whoa like an hour hour kill kill I mean, she's she's so mean yeah, yeah, I saw that just for laughs. Yeah, and like again I think celebrities killed her really she's so fucking mean and hilarious, but she was mean He was mean yeah, she said fucked up shit. Yeah to their face Yeah, yeah, she interact was mean. She was mean. Yeah. She said fucked up shit to their face. Yeah. Yeah, she. And her act was filled with that stuff. Right. Oh yeah. The way she died, didn't they blame doctors

for kinda fucking that up? Yeah. That's brutal. She was getting surgery and I think they fucked up the anesthesia. Yeah. Oh, what was the surgery like, plastic surgery? Yeah.

I think it was dental. Was it dental? Dental surgery? Yeah, I think it was dental was a dental dental surgery I think so interest, but it was like not in a professional setting wasn't like in it It was like in an off-brand debt like a guy with his own practice. Yeah Yeah, Michelle Obama dentistry right? Yeah, yeah, cuz she called her a man. I'm doing her podcast. Are you know? Yeah She would never have me but it was Joan Rivers The one that's trying was one of the first ones, but she was the biggest person to say it. That's right Yeah, she would always comment on her arms. Yeah, so she was like she's a man. Everyone knows she's a man

What was it a routine endoscopy? Wow, what's that a butt stuff? The button doskis in the mouth got it. That's crazy that like is so routine Yeah, I'll practice lawsuit. God damn. Maybe you're right. Maybe it was a like Michelle put a call in and said you know what? Let's like her talking anymore. Yeah, just like the chef. It's like the chef. Yeah, I don't like talking anymore We're talking this is for sucking not for talk. Yeah, yeah Joan Joan Rivers calls President Obama gay. Says First Lady is a good man. How about these breakup rumors?

Oh, between them. Of Barack and Michelle? I don't think it's true. Well, they. I mean, I don't think that Barack Obama is dating Jennifer Aniston. No. No.

Right. No. She's racist. No, but they are not being seen together a lot. What'd you say? They're not being seen together a lot That's true, and it's gotta be a hard life. That's what Michelle's going for swims dude Chris solved the cock thing on Ellen It was a fucking battery pack. Oh That's what it was yeah, she you know, she's hot you never watch this You can see something swinging even see that even see that it's the battery pack.

It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. From the mic, she's mic'd up. Why is this entertaining? I don't get the, what's the talent here? Because America's retarded. Yes, apparently. Yeah.

This is what daytime TV is, Mark. This is why Theo Vaughn gets way more numbers than, what is the upside? No, the problem is is mark? We're not dancing enough. Yeah You know else dance Bill Cosby did he would always dance in front in the beginning of a show Dancing might be a sign of evil. I think we got something here Michelle Obama penis Ellen and they're like no there's one She's walking outside. Oh, yeah penis Ellen and they'll thank you like no there's one where she's walking outside oh yeah

Downstairs here it is And then all right. I'll be able to tell you what kind of caucus this kid knows one of my specialties Let's see Okay, that was a Lenin Those were her balls. Yeah. Oh she grabbed something. Yeah. All right. Well. This is turned into you can see us on truth social Gorgeous body, I mean big Mike jokes are funny. Yeah, I don't think she's a man no no but then my crone's wife No, I don't think that's what they're saying who was saying who's Candace Owens. Yeah, but someone else Oh,, oh wow. No. She says a lot of crazy shit Who is it that it was someone else who's been saying the story is crazy? He was she was his teacher. I know 35 years older. He was friends with her dog

I mean the whole thing is insane he was banging his teacher, and it worked out and it worked out Yeah, but isn't that just French I? Mean French story I heard in France You don't you're allowed to cheat on your wife as long as you don't fall in love with the other woman Yeah, you can physically cheat and then it's like it's not like they love it But they're not gonna divorce you over that like you couldn't bring that up in divorce court Which is a real thing in France divorce court, dude. There's this thing We got to do a history anis episode on this there in like the 1600 1700s

You could not you could they would allow you for like a History of the Annihiles episode on this. In like the 1600s, 1700s, you could not, they would allow you for like a period of time in France, you could only get divorced from your husband if he couldn't get it up. If he had an impotence issue, they would, in a divorce, a French divorce court, if you could- That sucks because then everyone knows why you got divorced.

But that's the only way they would allow it. So what would happen is you would have to go in front of a court with an audience, like a court today, and have sex with your wife. And if you couldn't get it up- Come on! I swear to God it's real. But doesn't mean your dick doesn't work. That means it doesn't work with her.

Impotence trials where men were forced to prove their virility, where it was a legal justification of divorce rooted in the belief that marriage's primary purpose is procreation. This is the ultimate blue chew commercial. Seriously. Right? But maybe your dick does still work, it just doesn't work with her at that point. That's what I would have said.

Good point. Yeah. I'd say, give me any other woman in here, I'll show you. She's gross, look at this bush. Also, the pressure's on with this. This is the hardest boner ever to get up. But here was the loophole, is you would get divorced you could get you know they would grant you the

divorce fine you know whatever but it was like a whole process to grant you a divorce that like didn't happen that day and in French law at this time if you a family fight like if you killed your spouse handled with the family French court doesn't intervene what years so you would kill so these guys would get the divorce and then have this two-week Lay period where if that woman didn't get away like well now we're gonna fucking kill you. Oh Here's a question about the vaginal times. Yeah, they put the vaginal wetness on trial Yeah equality, yeah, that's it I like it

1600 someone says yeah 81 I'd have no problem getting hard because the room would be full of dudes and wigs You would be fucking they would all be going that's it You know that in ancient Greece if your wife was frigid meaning she couldn't come They would match her with another woman who couldn't come and they would scissor come on They said there was like a buildup of blood in there that you had to like sort of release they had to do it together No, I did it work. Yes, cuz they're probably lesbians. That's Roman propaganda dude, so then my wife's a lesbian That's not true. Oh, yeah, I'm ancient Greeks didn't consider the sexual desires of women

Ancient medicine is wild. I mean they used to think I mean George Washington They would put leeches on sure and just suck his blood out Like you got to go when you go back in time and you think like Thomas Jefferson when they had the Louisiana Purchase There you go. I was right. Yeah, what are they saying? Look women's right live women's lives were significantly restricted with their primary roles centered around domestic duties and maintaining the household in ancient Greece. Let me type in scissoring now.

Yes. I don't think they use the word scissoring in those books, man, but. We'll see. But they would. S-C, are you seriously spelling it S-I? I spelled it for me. S-C-I-S-S-O-R-S. All right, thank R S or scissoring frigid you can find anything

though if you plug yeah internet journal of women empowerment I've never heard this wait a minute yeah I'll just like the female character yeah this is from Greek mythology mythology is not reality journal of women yeah there's no God of War yeah guy thinks Hermes is real yeah get him let me get it Arpy's is real so the court of law made Aphrodite and Hermes scissor probably Hermes is a gotta be true yeah I know I can't think of another female guy because there's nothing in a Athena Artemis Medusa Medusa Medusa wasn't a she'll get your dick stone hard she was the one snake hair she's the one that Athena, Medusa, Medusa wasn't a... She'll get your dick stone hard.

She was the one with snake hair, she's the one that sounded Puerto Rican. Chris already knocked her up. 100% if she has a tattoo on her stone tit. I want to know was female homosexuality accepted in ancient Greece? Probably wasn't. Was homosexuality accepted in ancient Greece? No, women. Isn't lesbian named after Green Island? Lesbos. When you look back in history, you recognize one thing, that homosexuality was widely accepted

in every race, religion, culture creed. We accept homosexuality the least today. The least. Oh no, Africa. Yeah, it's rough there. Oh, you mean we as humans? No, I'm saying- Not even American.

No, no, no, like gay people, like throughout history- It was like a power thing, right? Alexander the Great? It was like, nobody cared. It was like, yeah, nobody cared. We care about it the most today. But even just man-to-man love, like even samurais. Samurais were gay. Really? Even when they killed themselves, penetration.

Yeah, penetration was that. But they were gay. On their knees? Pure love was restricted for guy on guy. Guy on guy was pure love. Ancient, what was it, the sacred band of Thebes. They would all have sex with each other. Elite warriors.

Elite warriors would all have sex with each other for a battle, because in their mind, they were like, well the only way we can really protect each other and my fellow brother in battle is if I'm in love with you. The only way I could fall in love with you is if I put it in your ass the night before.

Women were looked at a lot for procreation, but for fun, it was more like, you know, you had a buffet at the table of eunuchs, you know, boys. Sure. Kind of the same today, you knock up your wives then you go to the Knicks game with the boys. That's what I'm saying.

Except you fuck them. Yeah. That's what this is. Mark and I jerk each other off in the bathroom. Yeah. I'm loving it. Yeah. Take it to the hole.

What's this, African care? Core. Core. Oh, why are you gay? What's your gender? I'm a mechanic the fuck I Don't think you can be gay and daggers That is no elementary. What do we want? African core.

What is that? It's sort of like ultra manliness in Africa. Oh, okay. Well now that I know, play one. You just put it on, you didn't explain it. Sorry, I thought we were talking about Africa. Africa. That's the other thing about America.

Everybody shits on America, but like whenever the war breaks out, they call us. Yeah, you know, you were ugly Americans. We're we're stupid We're picking up the bar tab What is your gender my gender we saw that one Right I don't I'm very confused what's going on. Yeah, I don't know what's that. I don't know you're doing. Yeah, what is this? I thought we were talking about Machismo in Africa what does mechanic have to do it? Yeah, but what did that video? They're so not gay that is like what's your gender and he goes mechanic like he doesn't video up of a guy cutting a clit

Off of a woman now. We're getting out a journal of powerful women that you subscribe to Yeah, Journal of Powerful Women that you subscribe to. What the fuck is that? Jesus Christ did. Click cutting, still happening, and slavery is still happening. In Saudi Arabia it's the biggest it's ever been. Wow. Nobody sells more tickets than slavery in Saudi Arabia. I don't know if it's still happening. 100%. Who do you think builds all the fucking soccer stadiums and all that?

I saw something that said that the most amount of human slaves that have ever Existed in the world is right now and it's mostly in the Saudi Arabian Middle East some of these African nations They enslave, you know the the people there and what is it? Uh, where's where's all the war happening? That's awful in Africa It's like way bigger problem then Darfur. No, they're Congo Everywhere. Yeah everywhere somewhere. No, the- Congo? Everywhere? Yeah, everywhere. Somewhere, no, maybe it's Somalia. Somalia.

Where it's like they're going around, it's like a- Kenya? It's like a 10 times worse problem than Russia, Ukraine. I'll say this one slow, Niger? Niger. Right, it's the country. Didn't help.

Yeah. And the Niger police. Chicago. Yeah, I like to call that country African America I like to call it night. Yeah, I got see yes while slavery was a reality in 1860 Estimates suggest that far more people are in some form of modern Modern slavery what's an example like? Right forced labor forced marriage other forms of exploitation which differ from the historical transatlantic.

Transatlantic, that's the name of J.K. Rowling's boat. Yeah. My theory is, you know how they have the pyramids in what is now Mexico? Yes. And people always wonder what are they doing there. What happened was, I think the Egyptians were probably the first ones, and this was lost in history, to figure out boats. they do in there. What happened was, I think the Egyptians were probably the first ones,

and this was lost in history, to figure out boats. They went over there, they saw what the Mexicans built, brought them back, and built the pyramids. Because who could build pyramids like that? It's like, dude, anyone who owns a house knows it was Mexico. It was Mexican. I don't know, dude. Jews are pretty good at building stones

and stuff like that. We're fucking sure. Yeah, they did the ones in Egypt Yeah, no, I don't probably Jewish slaves, I haven't seen a Jew do manual labor in my entire Carpenter grew up around you. Okay. Well, maybe the here's another theory Maybe the Jews in Egypt called maintenance and they did it for exactly And they wanted a boat. So maybe it was a collab effort. I used to live in Crown Heights You'd see Jews with like a tool belt. No, there are there are it was weird. We're making a joke. Yeah

Not many though. No not many not many but the Mexicans dude And it's just a coincidence that they happen to be in Mexico and they happen to be there Mexicans built the fucking pyramids now. Okay, we've done a date like a what do you call? We can see the date made of each well They don't know they try to guess where they don't know the exact dates that these things were built right they don't know But I believe these are three to six thousand years old where the Yucatan ones are in the 1500 years old, okay? You're right. No. He's at first. I'm right. Dude. I'm telling you it was Mexicans. No no he's saying you're wrong So I'm saying I'm saying the Egyptian pyramids are far older

No, he's saying you're wrong. So I'm saying I'm saying the Egyptian pyramids are far older Oh So they actually found records of the Mexicans that look like they look alike the Mexicans They got on a boat from Egypt and they went and built those over there But then why are they why the ones in Mexico younger than dude? All I'm saying is when you hire Mexicans you go and you make a coffee whatever job you told them to do It's done right like you're just like hey Can you take and then you turn around and the fucking tree or the fucking thing is built right and then you go? How did you do it? It's the same question

I'm asking in my head that everyone's asking about the pyramids the answer is Mexicans That's what it is the only ones who can do that shit. It's like a fucking magic trick Yeah, and they'll take the work overseas before they work in their own home exactly magic trick. Yeah and they'll take the work overseas before they work in their own home. Exactly! This was off the books Mexican labor. There you go. I tell you one thing, that's it. There was no receipt of the work for this. This was off the books. Okay we just gotta find some used halal plates around there and they'll know it's them. Some empty bottles of haritos. Yeah exactly. Alright we're learning. This is why it's them. Empty bottles of Haritos. Yeah, exactly. All right, we're learning. This is why it's great to have you guys.

I'm talking about Louis XIV, hemorrhoids, period, Mexicans. We do accurate history. It's learning, but it's fun. Yes! Oh, I want to tell you, Louisiana Purchase. Thank you, Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson, El Presidente at the time.

Oh, you better believe it. When he said, this is what just shows you like how like at every point in history You think you know everything and you really don't know anything like the smartest man right now Elon Musk say or what people like that Howard Hughes Ben Frank 200 years from now They're gonna look back at some of the things that Elon Musk thought was correct. That was wrong I'd be like these fucking idiots Yeah, because it's just what it is. Thomas Jefferson, arguably the smartest man in the world at that time,

he was president of the United States, he told Lewis and Clark, because they were going westward and they had never been west of Pennsylvania, it was outside the 13 colonies, got this whole new territory, to bring certain types of tools and pictures because there might be dinosaurs out there.

He thought there were dinosaurs walking around Louisiana and Mississippi and these places. Wow. And you know, of course there wasn't, but that's like from creed of the president. Really? Like there's dinosaurs out there baby. Damn. Yeah, Lewis Clark, they just came back with Sacajawea. They're like, we found some titties. She was supposedly a smoke show. Come on. That's what they say. That's not true. Have you seen those natives back then? They look like an old catchersman. I like it. I have kids with them. Can we get a photo? A sack of joeya?

I mean something like AI enhanced? I don't know. Got some thirst traps out there? There it is. Oh, that's a filter. That's gotta be, yeah. That's close, isn't it? Yeah, alright, she's not bad. Especially for back then. Everybody had scurvy and monkeypox. Yeah. Alright, alright. I mean, yeah.

I like that. She looks like she could have built a pyramid. Like an Easter Island statue. That's another one. How the fuck do you explain Easter Island? Easter Island? How the hell did they get those rocks over there? Nobody knows. Stonehenge, baby. I just feel like if there's no answer I think it's a good guess that it was Mexican I like that Mexican should run on that like hey

we built everything do it or hire me I've never seen I mean I know it's a stereotype and it's but but when you have experience with it you know you're just like nobody nobody can and they did it a decent rate too yeah under the table I will say this I went to Mexico last year. They could use some Mexicans. There's a lot of dilapidated buildings, a lot of crumbling infrastructure. I'm like, hey, I guess they all left.

Right. I heard Mexico City's very built up though. It's beautiful, but there's pockets where you're like, did a bomb go off here? Did you feel safe though, pretty much in Mexico City? Yeah, certain area, it's a cool ass city. Like New York, right? Like down to the. Yeah, it's two times New York a cool ass city. Like New York, right? Like down to the...

Yeah, it's two times New York, 20 million people. And you ate very well. Ate well, the pollution's a problem. But yeah, ate well, but the scary thing is there's posters everywhere of like, abducto, abducto, abducto, and you're like, oh shit, is that a new magician? But no, it's a bunch of abducted kids.

It is weird when you go to other parts of the world and the air is just that much better. You just end up in Vancouver and you're like, why is the air so much nicer here? So true. When I went to Vancouver, it's a beautiful city, but- Beautiful. You can't go there in the fucking winter.

No, no, no. They also have a lot of drug problems there. The heroin's a problem there. Everywhere is a problem. Yeah, but Vancouver, it's like there's that one section that's like, holy shit balls. Yeah, it's that. Go to any fucking city in the country right now.

Dallas is thriving. But there's downtowns where you're like, what the fuck? Oh yeah, oh yeah. I mean, dude, anywhere, like, I was just, every city I was in, walking around Burlington, we're like, what the fuck? Oh yeah, whites love the Downers. Well, we voted for change.

Yeah. I mean, it's just like, dude, just stop hating Jews. Yeah! That's what it is. Just look at what they do good, and just, why don't you do it? Yeah, right. They were the first to figure out, like,

Well, that's why they hate them. I'm in New York when it's warm, and then when it gets cold, I go to Florida. I go to Florida. Everyone's upset that they chose Palestine. They also offered Greenland, right? Is that right? That is right they chose Palestine. They also offered Greenland, right? Is that right? It is right.

So they were also offered Greenland, but they're fucking smart. They go, we don't control the weather yet. I can't make it warm yet. Interesting. We're choosing a warm place. I didn't know anyone had Greenland. Yeah, they were offered it.

Years ago. And they went, I can't. It's too cold. It's too cold. I can't. Yeah, no. You'd think just the green would get them over there. Yeah, the green, that's what I...

Interesting. I think initially that was the interest. Right. They were like, oh, Greenland. Yeah. Talk more. What about the Gold Coast? Yeah, talk more, Gold Coast.

But then they said the weather. And they knew which land would be worth more. Yeah. Ah, yes. Right. For Jews, it is a very uncharacteristic move to pick Palestine because it is a fucking worthless desert. Yeah, but it's beautiful. Have you been to Israel? There's no fucking resources there.

They got a beach. It's beautiful though. They got a beach, but I'm talking about no natural resources. Bubba? That's why they're all tech. Yeah, Bubby, but I mean it's just amazing what they did with that rock, Bubby. It's incredible. I just love Bubby. Bubby.

Bubby. Like, dude, when you, when they go, well what's up with the Jews, dude they took that place that has no natural resources, no oil and they turned it into a first world country, it's like stop being a hater. Well that's why they hate them, because they ain't them. They ain't? I mean boy, that's Thomas Dale right there. Yeah, I mean. What do you suck his dick? What? What's the Long Island thing, which is, let me read your tarot cards. Give me some some iron dome. Oh People go where's the Jewish accent? I'm a homosexual

That is fucking here Peters. What are you doing to me? But be in the AC good Lord Jesus Christ all talk at Thomas down again, but everyone's fucking complaining about the Jews It's like what are they doing that you can't do everything when they do so do it It's like when the fat white guys on the couch yelling at the bears They're like all these guys are bombs like you could never do that. Yes, so shut up I mean they control make some start your own bank. Yeah, what do you want me to do start your own bank? Yeah, stop complaining. They hate us. They hate us. They control comedy will tell better jokes Yeah, what do you want from me? They're good, but you're not cheating. Yeah, they're not cheating better jokes. Yeah.

What do you want from me? They're good, bubby. You're not cheating. Yeah, they're not cheating. It's like a Salchie show, Bill Burr's on that new Broadway show, Glenn Gary. And then a bunch of articles are like, because it's Bob Odenkirk, Kieran Culkin, Bill Burr, all these women are like, hey, what about a women's Glenn Gary? And you're like, well, go start it.

Yes, do it. Go do it. Do it. Yeah, you make it. WNBA, but we're used to women yelling at us for things that are really right fault It's like they're going about the WMBA. Yeah, it's like yeah always be closing, but always be complaining the same Like it work for Jews as well

No, I'm actually pumped to see that show I heard it's lights I saw it years ago with No, I'm actually pumped to see that show. I heard it lights up. I saw it years ago with Alan Alda and Leif Schreiber and Jeffrey Tambor was really good. Damn, that's another great cast. Great cast. Damn. It's a great, old mammoth, great stuff.

I like the movie, the movie was good. Movie's great. With Jack Lemmon and Alec Baldwin. You know the Baldwin character was put in for the movie? That's not in the original. Yeah, it's not in the play. Oh. Brass balls. But that's a great fucking scene. Yeah, it's not in the play. Oh, brass balls. But that's a great fucking scene.

Yeah. Yeah, and the Rust scene didn't have the shooting. All right. They added that in. Yeah, that's a tough one. I see Baldwin in the village all the time. Me too, did you see that clip with his wife? That was crazy.

What? With that comedian, Jason Scoop? No, we played a lot of Baldwin on here, I realize now, but yeah, pull up thing with his wife, his wife was like shushing him at a red carpet thing. Oh no, that's the end of that? Yeah, I didn't. Como se dice asparagas?

Como se dice? What was that? That's a divorce right there. She's a Jewish girl from Boston. Yeah. I see her on the street a lot and she's always loudly speaking like, she's like. Como se dice, que cateleidata... Yeah, where's the appropriation there?

I mean she's funny. I mean it's funny. Seven kids that have that body. Yeah, I think it's there. Go down. No, I think it's... I don't know. It's whoever she interrupts. Her real name is Hillary. This one's gotta be a Google bitch. How do you say... Hilaria. Hilaria. I don't know try Twitter. Maybe just pretty hot. I like to live in America Watch the reality show they had it's just depressing you're like come on like you know you're better than this

Yeah, well seven kids in Manhattan. That's expensive dude. Yeah, I guess so in legal bills, right? Yeah, I guess but like what are you doing in your legacy I know what are you doing you know that was my idea I don't think anyone's doing a reality show because they're thinking about their legacies like well some people just have nothing going on so like yeah I'll be on love Island yeah there it is yeah him shooting someone is better for his career that's got enough money I don't know seven kids spend man yeah like that's the thing is like, it's not about what you make, it's about what you spend,

and people spend like you cannot imagine. I know, that's what Tim Dylan. Yeah. Yeah. I like my lady boys. Oh yeah. Man, you were a bad Googler, Salacuse. Ouchie.

Damn. Damn. I already involved with shipping, that's difficult. Yeah, go back to African core. It's crazy that the South African racial tension is still happening. Like we think we have racial tension, it's bananas down there. I went there for my honeymoon, that was a mistake. Isn't it like disturbing?

It's palpable. It's really palpable. You can feel it. I went there, I was in Johannesburg, and you feel like you're going back in time. Oh yeah. Everyone lives behind security walls. The wealth disparity is one of the worst in the world. You can feel it.

It's crazy. It's crazy. You stop your car, there's people without shoes, and then you go to this mansion behind walls. And then it's very weird. Yeah, I would walk around with my wife and I'd be like, where's a good bar? We're gonna go drink and they're like,

you go to that bar, don't go over there. You're like, oh geez. Damn. Was it Cape Town? Yeah, Cape Town. It's beautiful. It's beautiful, the beach is great and the safari was unreal.

I can't believe you found it, Salacus. Look at that. Now you gotta hit the play button. This will be great. You're a winner. Oh my God, when I'm talking you're not talking. No, when I'm talking you're not talking. This is why, yes, we'll have to just cut him out of it.

There it is. You're a winner. Oh my god, when I'm talking you're not talking. No, when I'm talking you're not talking. Whoa. You can blame Kamala for that. He's gonna cast her in his next movie. Haaaaaa.

If he was gonna do a reality show he's shooting her mouth off he should have done a reality show with his brothers yeah fucking reality show Steven Baldwin's a huge huganot you fucking cocklib you fucking right-wing nut but what I respect about Alec Baldwin is like he will throw hands oh go to this day and throw hands. And he is an insane talent. He really is. Super funny.

I mean, on 30 Rock, that is one of the greatest performances ever. He's great in everything. Even like a long came Polly, remember in a long came Spray. Oh yeah, he's great in that. His boss or whatever, it's fantastic. He's a great actor.

Great. And great series and comedic. He can do both, yeah. We did a whole thing on him last week about how they must have just run Long Island in like their 20s and I mean Billy Baldwin's a stud. Oh yeah. Gorgeous.

Oh yeah. But it would be great to just be a fly on the wall at Thanksgiving at the Baldwin House when they start talking politics. Yeah. Wow. Cause Alec obviously hates Trump but the other Baldwin's like him.

Alec and Billy are like way left and especially Billy Yeah, he's on Twitter all the time. But Stephen is Stephen is hardcore to the right. He's a born-again Cunon kind of Christian dude nice That look he gave her when she shushed him was like, oh, this is something bad will happen at some point Yeah, yeah, but wait the daughter is he's like whoops. I didn't know the gun was loaded Sorry, Hilaria Bieber's husband. Yeah. Yeah. But wait, the daughter is Bieber's. He's like, whoops, I didn't know the gun was loaded. Sorry, Hilaria. Bieber's husband? Yeah.

Oh man. Bieber's wife, right. Bieber's wife, sorry. That's Stephen Baldwin's daughter. Yeah, sorry. Yeah. And then there's an older one. Yeah, there's another one.

Who's not famous? Bobby. Yeah. No, they're all in movies. They all did movies, and they're all good looking. They were all like, when they were young, they were all good looking. Oh yeah.

There it is. Usual suspects. Boy, the daughter's very pretty. boy the beautiful daughter. Yeah, she's got an interesting look Always daughter. Yeah, beautiful. When's people come out with the P. Diddy stuff? We're all waiting when he blows his brains out. All right That's I there might be a moment where we look back and like we were horrible We were that video see he's definitely a victim somebody and I'll be old L. Beckett. I just we might we might have been hard Oh, because he was a kid looking back. It should be on that n-word video. You ever see that? Man, that's a classic. That's what I became a fan. Yeah, Bieber blowing. Oh, oh del Beckham Really? Wait, what Bieber? Oh del Beckham blowjob, you know allegedly am J creeping on Justin Bieber

See the druzki stuff stuff I don't really know. No, that's bullshit. Because it's like he wasn't famous. Yeah, same with the Jay-Z shit. It's like it's out there. Also Jay-Z went so hard as like fuck you. That was kind of like a power flex. Yeah, look.

He was like I'm innocent. Yeah, well she dropped the charges and now he's suing her back. Good, good for him. Enough's enough, the old Baldoni we call that. Yeah this this video is nuts. Disturbing. What is it? It's disturbing. Paint a picture here. Where are we? When are we? This is at a Diddy party. Everyone's filming everything. Maybe early 2000? No, like a few years ago. Those are iPhones buddy. Oh yeah you're right. Oh my god. It's so disturbing. Oh, no

What the fuck dude? No, I think he's just standing there. Oh his pants are down. Yeah, it's disturbing At least he's wearing a mask at least he's wearing a mask it could be cocaine like why the pants he's pulling his pants up you ever see the way some people wear their pants? good point racist yeah some people you're fucking racist you mean the people you see on African core your favorite website?

mechanic play it again I think he's right I think the cocaine was on Odell's dick Oh, there we go split split medium. I've seen some people blow people in a club You get there's more like this going on. I don't know. He sees too fresh, right? I Don't know. All right, maybe I'm maybe maybe maybe not. They both got their hoods on they like kind of trying to conceal Yeah, either way, they're also both really famous, so that's also part of it. Maybe they're trying to, you know, be private. He did look ashamed.

He looked ashamed, though. I do think bad things happened to Bieber. I think, yeah, unfortunately. Unfortunately, I think so as well. Unfortunately. Damn. You want your ticket to Hollywood Kid. I think it was one of those. It was a Joan Rivers.

Yeah, I'll make you famous, yeah. So I'll be glad we weren't cuter kids seriously Here here Alan. I mean just be think I think it's thankful that we're like ugly celebrity. Well not Chris I think nobody cares, you know, nobody wants to make us famous. They're not gonna offer us anything But I yeah Chris eventually will get that offer eventually. I had to suck for and I don't know I think I think Chris is on his way down I think it would have happened I'm already 40 yeah you got any things up your sleeve for the garden I mean you don't have to tell us but you have to bring out some big guns okay well we'll see right now right now no the only thing I have up my sleeve is moving it to the theater

It's fucking scary when you're Jesus Christ But Chicago theaters almost sold out come see me there in September and go see Chris at MSG man I know number 11th, baby. Hell. Yeah. Oh, yeah, bring your turbines Yeah, and see me at the comedy on the Carlson in Rochester. That's a great club. That is a good club. Good room. Oh, Boise, Houston, Austin. Yeah, where are you gonna be?

Dallas, New Haven, Albany. Oh, gotta get that, I had that Frank Pepe's and the salad through there. What do you think's better? Sally's. Last time I thought Sally's, this time Frank Pepe's is better. I like Frank Pepe's, I agree with you.

Interesting. But they're both amazing. Yeah, and I do think that it's the best pizza. It's the best pizza. I think it's the best pizza. And we're New Yorkers tried and true, and we have to get, New York is the most consistent with pizza in America, but New Haven's the best pizza.

I'll tell you something, I said it yesterday on the Patreon, and I stand by this, if you ever go to Belfast, Ireland, you go to Flout Pizza. I've heard about it. It's amazing. It's up there with New York pizza. Really? He makes every type, which is nice. He does a deep dish

He does like Detroit style New Haven New York playing Wu Tang while he's doing it interesting and you're in there drinking Irish whiskey with him always making it for you. It's great cool They say the best pizza now in New York's on Long Island which which spot that's what Colin Quinn got great pizza in Long Island Jersey is great pizza, too. I mean this is where New Jersey. Oh, yeah, Staten Island has great Sure, the Northeast has is great pizza too. Where? New Jersey. Oh yeah, Staten Island has great pizza. The Northeast has got great pizza. Yeah. Hey, New Brunswick. Oh, alright. I mean, just go over there. Go to the website. The big ones are Paramount Theater, Denver, yeah. Great room. Got a lot of casino gigs. Thank you Mr. Berkowitz, guaranteed money. Nice moolah. Love a good casino. The Ryman, where me and Mark are of casino gigs. Thank you, Mr. Berkowitz guaranteed money nice Moolah love a good casino the Ryman where me and Mark are in selling yeah all there in September when is Mark?

When are you there? I'm there like a week. Oh in a week. Yeah, I'll be even more nervous Yeah, well go go see mark and then oh We're garden September 11th. You'll see the promos coming out all filmed and edited by Salik you all right First thing never happened in New York. Me? No, that's show. Oh, hell yeah. All right, Yannis, that is.

Yeah, see me in Rochester, San Diego, and one more, Cleveland, and that's it right now. And then I'm going to fire my manager. And he has a high, there's a very high chance of him doing those gigs, even though the last three gigs he has canceled all of them. What? Just one.

What happened? Bird flu? No, I just... These he's gonna do. Yeah I'll do these. All right all right. Yeah let's start yeah Columbus, Ohio, Royal Oak, Michigan, Grand Rapids, Milwaukee, Madison on a Monday please come to that. Des Moines, Iowa, St. Louis, Missouri, Kansas City, Minneapolis, and then we got Phoenix, San Diego, Sacramento, Sacramento San Francisco Portland added a late show there Seattle Vancouver added a late show get on that we got Boise, Idaho Salt Lake City and and Denver Gotta love hell. Yeah. Yeah All right, Sam are all comm slash shows or follow us all on punch-up. Hey, I'm at the village ease

We're premiering pace the stage episode 2, it's gonna be in New York City, that'll be fun, it's almost sold out. State Theater in New Brunswick, then we got, what is that, Gotham, what the hell's that? Benefit, N-C-A-C Benefit. Oh, yeah, helping ISIS. Then Portchester, Ben Salem, P.A., Hampton, New York. We'll see Alec Baldwin out there. Reno! And then Nashville, coming to the rhyme, and Napa, Santa Barbara, Asheville, Bristol, Tennessee, New Brunswick, Ithaca. Come on by! And then we're going to UK and then Australia. So let's yuck it up.

We need those... Is that Iceland day? Yeah, and Iceland. So yeah, we'll bring out the Brits. Ulster Hall and Belfast is great. Oh yeah? Yeah, it's a good one. Is that where the pizza is? Yes.

Okay, great. I'm sure it'll hit you up. Bring it on, pizza guy. Drink our Berdega Cat whiskey. We're making moves. We just had a great signing. We got a big article coming out. Is it wine enthusing?

Oh yeah, we made it. We're wine-lovers. Ronan Farrow wrote about you. Four page spread. Yeah, he's bringing down this whole operation. But... Yeah, it's Frank Sinatra. But we love you guys.

Without a doubt. Great app, we love seeing you guys. You guys killed it, always the best. Thank you. Great podcast, great comedy. Sunday's the day for my next defender A bit of Peaverac, you know the future's close I've had a little too much burping And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope Did I get down in the same way?

Up on the roof like a cop's coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This warm room doesn't look like I remember And I get down in the same way We might be true