We Might Be Drunk - Ep 230: Tim Dillon

Episode Date: May 5, 2025

Tonight on We Might Be Drunk, Mark and Sam are joined by the one and only Tim Dillon for a wild ride through the world of comedy, chaos, and conspiracy. From rants about the modern world to behind-the-scenes stories from stand-up, nothing is off limits when Tim’s in the chair. Grab a drink, buckle up, and enjoy the madness. Follow Tim here: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon Support the show and download the PrizePicks app today. Get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup with the code DRUNKS. Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD WMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ WMBD Clips Page: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Instagram : https://instagram.com/sammorril Tickets / Tour : https://punchup.liveSam Morril: YouTube Channel: @sammorril Instagram: https://instagram.com/sammorril Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: YouTube Channel: @marknormand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets We Might Be Drunk is produced by Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ @GothamProductionStudios Producer Matt Peters: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #TimDillon #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #Comedians #PrizePicks #FunnyPodcast #DrinkResponsibly #ComedyFans #NYCComedy #WhiskeyHumor #PodcastEpisode #PodcastRecommendations

Hey, Tim Dillon's here. Thanks for having me. New special on Netflix. Thank you very much. A good buddy. Yeah, it's there. We were in the top ten for a week, which was good. That's hard now. It's hard to do. Love on the spectrum got us. But RFK is dead now. So enjoy it while you can. I'm kidding. It's all going to work. What was that, adolescence? What was that thing?

Adolescence was big. That was huge. About a young kid who murdered his friend. Yes. Or a woman. Which one is that? About a young kid who killed a girl. The British kid?

Oh. Cute kid too. Everything on Netflix now is either the silliest thing ever or the darkest thing you've ever seen. There's no in the middle. It's either like these two people are dating, but they've only ever seen each other's eyes or it's like an eight year old committed a mass murder. There's no in the middle ground. Let's eat cake or is this cake or rape?

That's it. Is this rape? Is this rape? Have you guys done that show? Is it cake? Is this rape? By the way, that's a show. That's a show. Is this rape? Is it rape? Have you guys done that show, Is It Cake? By the way, that's a show. That's a show. Is it rape? Lewis Gomez once years ago said we should do a show called Rape Dicks where we investigate open mic rape claims.

And I said I'm gonna pass. I saw this movie, it's a wreck if you've never seen. You know this British director Mike Lee? Of course. I saw this movie, it's a wreck if you've never seen, you know this British director Mike Lee? Of course. Have you seen Naked? I haven't seen, but he did, I think he did, if I'm thinking of the right guy,

he did Secrets and Lies, he's brilliant. Yeah dude, it's dark shit. That's the guy. Oh, okay. That's a congressman, it's a senator from Utah. He pulled up an Asian man, no. No, it's literally opening scene rape, and you're like, all right, I guess he's the bad guy.

Wow. And then there's another rape, and you're like, I'm confused. This is a lot. There's like five rapes in this movie. Jesus. But it's fucking, it's good though. It's thought provoking and crazy and good.

Really, okay. He had one movie called Secrets and Lies, it was brilliant. I've heard it. The whole plot of the movie is that is a British working class woman finds out she has a daughter and the daughter's black. So it's just a very interesting,

because like today, obviously wouldn't really be that, but it was like such a thing. Yeah. Right. You know, where it's like, it was just a funny movie on rewatch, it's funny. Yeah. You know, because that's the whole plot. So the whole plot is like she had sex with a black guy and that's a black daughter. Wow. And her family has

to accept it. I mean, look at the look at she's crying next. So she's disappointed twice. She's right. I have a daughter. She's crying. She's literally crying. She's black. She's like, sweet. Oh, how did it happen? We have come a long way. Yeah, we've come a long way Long away, we've come along. Yeah, wow the film now New show that's Bob loves a bishola Good times all right. I gotta check out this naked. It's good. I'm doing it. It's shocking five real That's more than a Hannah Gatsby special. That's right. It was crazy All right, I'm on I'm in yeah, I saw you making the rounds. You're popping up everywhere. I'm doing a lot You got to do it now. Yeah, you got to do it. I mean, I'm on every time on like CNN Fox

I'm on all the things and it's crazy. How much do they actually air of you on CNN? Uh I saw that clip. Yeah, yeah, I they haven't done it yet, but we sat there for an hour We had a really great talk and I just think I think the Larratt. I hope the Larratt Pushing for them to air the whole thing either not on TV, but on the line YouTube. Yeah, we had a good talk It wasn't it was it was a good talk, but they have a narrative Yeah All the cable things do but I get it and because like you go on Fox you're like is cancel culture canceled right and

you're like and then they'll be like this guy's got a new special that woke losers will hate and I'm like but it's like me talking about my mother like it's not like I'm not like up there being like the tariffs you know like but I get it it's like you, it's just what it is. But you gotta make the right, and they're fun. And you see how much that media is dying because all these things are remote. You just go into a room, they put a earpiece in you,

and then Sean Hannity's in Florida. And he's like, all right, next, coming up is Tim Dillon. And then he goes, do you do your thing with him? And then he goes, why are people offended at jokes? I go, I don't know, it's privileged, I, and then he goes, do you do your thing with him? And then he goes, why are people offended at jokes? I go, I don't know, it's privileged, I guess, or coddled, or people with real problems, you know? And he goes, right, right, and you'll go back and forth, quick, quick, and then he's like, thank you so much,

well, that's, we love you, and good luck. And then you do that, and you're like, okay, and then some guy comes in and he takes the thing off you, and then he's like, goodbye. And then you just walk out onto Sixth Avenue. It's over, then you do Theo Vaughn and it gets eight million more views. Right, yeah, so it's weird,

but then it's weird because Hannity Willow, there's just people that watch that. Sure. So like old Long Island friends of mine are texting me photos. Wow. Because that's there. He's there, Theo Vaughn.

Right, right. Sean Hannity's there, you know what I mean? Larry King. Or Larry King, whatever. Howard Stern or whatever. So it's like it's just interesting what hits what people. Yeah. What people, and I just want people to watch this special so I'll just do anything that'll get people to watch this special. Well, Shultz fucked us because he did like Barry Weiss, then he did Megyn Kelly, then he did Shayshay, then he did Rogan, like he hit every, he wouldn't even do like RU Garbage, he just did all the other ones.

I'm doing Barry Weiss, but then I'll do Hamas. Like I'm gonna do bald, like I'll go right to the tunnel because frankly, I wanna hear everybody. I want all viewers. Some of your friends from Long Island are like, I like you on Hamas. They're like, I saw you on Hamas. I love Hamas.

That's gotta be a big tunnel there, watch out. Hey! That's what I said about my there, watch out. Hey! That's what I said about my, I was doing some joke about my, I don't know, my stepmother or something. I said, drag her into the tunnel, make it bigger or something. She heard it, they hear it. They hear it, these people,

they hear the things you say now. Well people send it to these, they go, hey, did you hear what this asshole said? You're like, what are you doing? She doesn't watch TV. Enjoy it calmly and privately. Yes. Well I have friends I grew up with who listen to you and they're like Tim Dillon mentioned you I'm like oh

So I get like cred from you you know yeah all the time It's I have that weird you guys ever have that thing like he'll send me a thing He's like bill burr mentioned you and you're like oh I'm always terrified. It's gonna be like this guy's a hack He's not always gonna say you kind of have to listen like with one eye closed We may get it on this podcast we yes it gets to a point with sometimes too much booze where like we start shit talking like let's cut it down You got to rein it in. Yeah, sometimes I get it. We had Bert on he got seven whiskies deep He's like this guy suck this guy. I got text from people who were like my feelings are hurt

I heard he's an alcoholic and Bert went for sushi for three hours. It's the best dinner ever. He will shit talk all night. It's pretty great. He's the best shit talker in the business. Best, most fun stories from like back in the day. He's really, it's really. He's on our pod, we're all hammered. He's yelling at Mark, he's like, catch up. I'm like, dude, you weigh 400 pounds more than us.

We shouldn't be going drink for drink. I don't even think it's that, because he's not even that big anymore, but he's just trained his body. Yes, exactly. He's really trained. We shouldn't be going drink for drink. I don't even think it's that, because he's not even that big anymore, but he's just trained his body. Yes, exactly. He's really trained. We have sets that night. He's going to eat a steak and fall asleep.

He fell asleep at a steak house. Segura's like, he's asleep at dinner. And I'm like, yeah, we're fucked up too, believe it or not. We're trying to keep up with him. Yeah, it was, what a dinner. What a fun, just fun. Yeah.

You know? No, he has a great time. He's a great time, he's a machine. Yeah, he's so much fun. But that sushi dinner, there's no way he remembers that. He loved it, he does remember it, it's weird. All right. But we went to a place where you can't take out the phone.

Oh. And that was on purpose, they will not allow the phones. Would you ever get married, do you think? I don't know, I've been thinking about it more. I think it's a- You can do that now. You can do it now, for now. That's true. But no, I've been thinking about it more. I think it's a... You can do that now. You can do it now. For now. That's true.

But no, I'm kidding. I think it would have to make a lot of sense because New York's a state where it's a community property state. So you gotta be deeply in love with someone and you gotta want that legal definition because it is half your property and half your money and half of all of it.

Well, you get the nup. You get the pre. Yeah, but I tell you it's New York's tough. Yeah, Ali's tough. Yeah, even with them Are you a New York resident right now? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know either I I I was last year the year before that was California two years ago was Texas. That was a good one You better figure that out. You might get sent to El Salvador. Well, first of all, I will enjoy it There's not one image from that prison that's disturbed me or made me feel like it isn't fun. I'm kidding. Yeah No, I think I'm New York resident The numbers of days holy shit, that's like Tim spring break. I mean, is that who's fearing that?

Zoom in, zoom in. Let's get a little more. Zoom in, Stelacus. Holy hell. Come on. That doesn't look so bad. We got to feed the one with the tats is pretty good. Pretty hot. Once to the left and right. Not great. Yeah. By the way, you know, where gay marriage is not legal? Ukraine. Yeah. And I think Greece just pulled back. Did you see this? They pulled back on gay kids. Well, I think Greece just pulled back did you see this they pulled on Greece got too gay oh I think so gay that they said we need to pull it back

yeah I think there were guys just leaving their wives in the middle of dinner getting gay married and that so I think you need to find a healthy right well even the gay icons the Greek guys right gay. Yeah, very gay. Yeah, yeah, Rome, too Yeah, I think it's a it's a it's a a weird time we're now because There's this big circle now called queer. Yeah, no one knows what that no one knows what that means Mm-hmm, and people don't like things that are undefined, where they go, wait, so who's queer and what is this,

and what do you want from me, and what do I gotta call ya, and how does this work, and are you suing me, and all that. And what happens is now you're lumped into this thing where you go, it's trans people, which is great, but then it's also non-binary people, and then you go, okay, and then you're like, but it's also people that identify as a million different genders, you go, okay.

And then you go, it's also pansexuals and sapiosexuals and demisexuals, and you go, I don't know what any of that means. And you start- I'm not sure you do either. Yeah, and- It's like the menu at a diner. It's too much.

You're like, this is a lot. It's too much. It's too much, and I think what's, people are, it's going back, people are pulling back now and going like reevaluating some of these progressive, in my mind, good things like gay marriage and stuff like that, because I think they're going, wait a minute, what is this new world

that we don't really understand that we're being kind of led into? Well, yeah, and I think you need the definitions. Like just, yeah, what is a woman? And people start going like, well, it's crazy. We gotta get, we gotta make this quicker. No one wants to come off as like ignorant or disrespectful, but it is getting, I'm a little confused. Yeah. Well that's what yelled at or fire.

People said to me like 2010, everything's glee, everything's fine. No one cares about anything. And then if somebody came to me and said well how do we get this going the other way how do we get go slide back I go I don't know take some drag queens put them in a library have them read to eight-year-olds like that's the craziest that's just got picked up on Netflix to yeah that's that's the new show the craziest thing is like you have that and people like what is this yeah right it's a we're nightclub drag drag is nightclub. We're nightclub.

I don't want kids at our shows. Why would we want kids at our shows? Right. So I get comics. So this this to me is like again it just I think people start going like hey what's going on here and then you get this backlash where they start going all right. We're going to you know we're going to start reevaluating

everything. Well just my thing is just don't gaslight me. You know if you're like what's up with that. They're like whoa you fucking man. You're like reevaluating everything. Well, just, my thing is just don't gaslight me, you know, if you're like, what's up with that? They're like, whoa, you're fucking bad. You're like, well, it wasn't here before. Now it's here. I'm asking where it came from. And now I'm a bad guy. It just seems unnecessary to have a drag queen in a library. I feel like a library is unfun. I don't know anyone that wants to go to a library. If they called all three of us and go, you need to read the kids in the library,

God, none of us would do it. We'd all go, oh, we'd love to, but we've got too much to do. Also, a longshoreman is weird to read to kids. A New Yorker. Yeah, like any, but right. People get married at the New York Public Library. That's like a big thing here, like you rent it out. It's a pretty place. It's a pretty place.

So here's the one that I like. Can you bring up that one to the left with the storms? That one, that one. I mean, this is the one. What is going on? I mean, this is the one where you go, wait a minute. This is horrifying. This is horrifying.

I mean. We've combined like two genres here. That's Chappell-Rone. What's going on? What happened? But I mean, I might go back in the closet and just marry Schumer. Dan Soder said the best thing, he goes, if you and Schumer, you just, if you take, you fuse your power and what you do is you just, every coffee house you'd walk out of,

it would just explode and you just have the Heath Ledger smiles on you. It's an unstoppable force. But see, this is where people start going, what is happening? So I think this is the issue that we're comming these worlds. It shouldn't be around each other. And I don't think it's necessarily bad. I don't think these people are all pedophiles. I think it's like this is like a lot of do-gooder women going like I want to show how tolerant I am and even men right. Like I'm taking my kid to the drags hour

right because there's a lot of Park Slope dads being like we're going to drag hour. Yeah. And then you go okay, but maybe it's a lot of other options in New York. We got the Park Slope dads being like, we're going to drag hour. Yeah. And then you go, okay, but maybe. There's a lot of other options in New York. We got the Mets are playing, I think. Hey, we can go to the Rockettes. Right. Or the, well, yeah, I was raised by a drag queen.

My nanny was a burlesque dancer, big black guy. But it was only because he was cheap. My parents didn't afford it. I mean, he did molest you, but he was also very affordable. Sure, I learned a lot. Sure. But yeah, it wasn't like, we're so progressive. It was just like, oh, this guy will for it. I mean he did molest you but he was also very affordable. Sure I learned a lot sure But yeah, it wasn't like we're so progressive. It was just like oh this guy will do it. Yeah, bring him in. Yeah This is a different thing. This is like a statement. Yeah, this is a statement, and I just don't think it's it's not ideal

Yeah, it's strange. It's strange and you should be able to say it's strange. Yeah, that's all now. We're in a garage all right How the fuck you get Kevin Spacey? We've been trying to get him on this show for two years. Maybe you shouldn't have been using his name as a punchline every episode. Yeah. Well, you know, we shall. He's represented one episode of work. My agent...

Yeah. Justin? The great fat Justin. Yeah. Hold the... his manager, their friends, and he said, would he do this? And he goes, yeah, and we called the manager, and we chatted about it, and we had to go back and forth

on the script a lot, because we had him calling me in Pagan stuff, and he goes, well, Frank, Frank feels like it's more elegant. He doesn't like elegant You know, why'd you go? What's that? Who said that a predator? Kevin's amazing Frank Underwood revival who's writing that? He was acquitted That's true. Oh

We can't have him on the show Well, here's the deal. I'm not saying everything he's done is ideal here's what I'm saying. The character. Agree to disagree. I'm saying the character Frank Underwood was Netflix's first hit show. Iconic character. First hit character I think it was just if he was roasting podcasters making fun of it I think it's funny we wanted someone to make fun of this idea that podcasters are so important and this and that whatever right and we're like who would be better to do it than fucking Frank Underwood from House of Cards we started laughing and we said is there a way to get him we got him and he

was really professional and could you have to pay him a lot or was he just payment down I love it and he's um you know he's like one of the greatest actors of all time unbelievable town unbelievable even as bad movies I remember like Cape X dude you know he's... Capex was like not terrible. Do you remember swimming with sharks? He was amazing then. Oh, that's great. Guys, kills on everything he does, and he came in, and he just was great.

But, you know... Did you rock the boat at all? Did you poke him at all off camera or no? No, he was very like flirty. No, he was just very like he's just one of these guys who like you you he's an actor and yeah in the sense that like you don't know what he's saying. You don't know if what he's saying is true. Do you know what I mean? Right like you like I've met these guys at walking Phoenix when they're so like I'm innocent. Well they don't exist. Yeah, like walking Phoenix does it Kevin Spacey doesn't really right right Frank

Underwood exists sure I suppose he's not got it he's a vessel is a vessel yes so he could say anything he wants well he I know someone who did a movie with him and I was like was he appropriate and he goes he kept trying to touch my dick and then I asked him to stop and he mostly stopped and was huh? Wow great promo Because what it does is it roasts the whole Way we have to promote things it makes fun of comedy, and that's what we were going yeah And I told you not to tell anybody that But it was largely positive reaction and then a few very negative ones as well You've never been in a movie? Alright. Not with him.

But it was largely positive reaction and then a few very negative ones as well. How are you going to get that with anybody? And they get it. Yeah, I mean you weren't provocative and I got sent it by a bunch of friends who just were like, this is funny. It was so good. I thought it was funny. It was so good.

We got Brian Franke who is a great writer and we worked on this script. He works with Nicky, he works with me and a few people, and we brought him in, and we were just sitting in Los Angeles, the podcast studio, going like, we had a line that Spacey wouldn't read that I think it was, we ended up going with Daily Wire, the musical, which is a funny one. But the original line that Franke wrote was,

I go, I'm supposed to endorse Jews for a Ukrainian Gaza? Which I thought was the best. It was a killer line that Brian wrote. And then he just wouldn't, he came in, he had a Ukraine thing on the wrist. Oh. And he's like, I just won't say that. I'm uncomfortable with that.

And we were like, totally. And we're like, alts, alts. We had alts. Yeah, yeah. How about this? How about that? So we're like, you know. Damn. Yeah, he had a few good alts.

So he's got standards. He's got scruples. He has, yeah, he has certain things he's uncomfortable with saying and doing. Got it. Okay. But it came out great. It was really funny. Yeah.

Everybody shared it. It was a fun one. We thought about it. We didn't know what, it's weird now to film a pro. And that's not second nature to me. Like some guys are great at it. I wasn't, and I'm like, this might be a really funny idea, and we got him.

You're not like a promo whore. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. Well, it's one thing to go and talk on shows, but to be like, come see my thing. It's hard. It's hard for me. It's outside of our,

I remember I used to bark, and I was so fucking bad at it. Yeah. Oh yeah, barking. Yeah, yeah, barking wasn't't that was never my skill set No, I'd go like this ago. I tried like a few times and then I think it was like was it the lantern back in the day Yeah, I did that one. Yeah, and then you try and then people I don't want to come and I go. Yeah, right Yeah, all right I'm not gonna when you get people in and there's like four people you like hot showed night And then you go up and they're like what the fuck I used to live with a guy by the way was pretty good at it

I remember I remember he pretty good. I was pretty good at it and remember Pretty good. He was good. It's kind of an art. He'd like yeah a couple rarely a good comic though Well, it's not ideal, but Cuz you're lying yeah That angle yeah where it was just kind of like come here That's yeah, one of those, like hello. That's hard for us. I did last comic standing and they're like,

all right, you know you do those interstitials, those confessional moments, like tell us how you're gonna kick everybody's ass. I'm like, honestly, I'm probably not gonna make it through. I'm not a minority. We were on last comic together years ago with Norm, Roseanne, and Keenan. Yeah. Wow.

We were on it. I was on it for two minutes. You were maybe on it longer. I was gone in the first thing on two and a half minutes I think but literally here's the deal Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It's probably I don't I don't think I don't think they have any Footage of it, but it was like mean you were on this thing and I remember like there was a moment during The I just never looked worse in these Ice House photos. This guy took these photos at the Ice House.

I'm like, can you just get them off? These Ice House photos, and it's like, it's a club I perform at once a year. I'm like, can you just get the photo? It's a great club. It's a great club. I just, it's far from LA, right? Sure.

So we were on this comic scene, and I remember there were people on it that were really really good at like going like Alright, I'm gonna call my mom now and then the camera exactly go up to this person and then they would be like mom I'm here and then you're like, oh, this is Crazy, I mean you were just really on kind we looked at each other and we're like we're just not comfortable with that No, that's not what we're into. They wanted a drama. They wanted to be like, I'm living in a van, I've got divorced, my mom has cancer, I need to win this.

But I didn't have that. I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna do well. The drama we would do is like poking people, but it wasn't just like, I'm a victim. And they want, I'm a victim. They want the sob story. They want the, here's my sad story. But I was like, nah, I have a pretty good life.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm just trying to write jokes. I wanna be a good guy. Yeah, I hate that. That's the enemy of that. That's what I'm saying. Dude, I remember doing AGT. I did all these fucking awful shows

and they were trying to get me to trash people on camera. I'm like, dude, I don't wanna. Yeah, I don't wanna do it. You know, it's already stressful. There's a fat couple dancing Mambo number five next to me. They're like a bird, talking bird. I'm like, I'm already losing my mind. Don't make me bury these people.

Yeah. A little bit'm already losing my mind. Yeah, like bury these people. Yeah a little bit of Monica Yeah, no, it's it was it was a weird thing. Yeah, yeah reality TV. That's kind of over now for comics I think we've ruined comics over but God is it not for everyone else. I mean those what's the big one now? Well, oh god like Love Island shows like that billion hours I guess that is company. No, I don't I don't yeah't yeah like boy oh but was it a the mask is that still around circle is big match love is blind I don't even know what the sir mess singers or dystopian hellscape really that's a scary thing yeah that looks like something you make

fun of as it doesn't look like a real thing yeah you did is it cake I did how was it they cut out every show so I'm like making like AIDS jokes and like you know I should fire Justin right now for not getting us on is it came I see only thing why are we not on his day the only thing of mine that that my niece has ever seen she was oh is it so it's

like for your shirt am sure no it's fucking ridiculous I was on with Christina P so thank God it was all that helps but she's like for your shirt damn sure no it's fucking ridiculous I was on with Christina P. So thank God it wasn't that helps, but she's like a real fan of the show So she's like oh that Mikey day is incredible like he's an incredible host look at the leather What are you were doing a leather jacket? I don't know Whatever you just look at it, and then you have to see if it's really hard It really is the worst. It's a terrible show

It's a terrible Mikey day actually is like a great host, but you're right down But dude you like you're looking across and you're like dude. It's impossible. You're fucking 40 feet away How the fuck could I I don't know what it is yeah? Oh, please don't play clip please oh here We go turn up the phone that looks like cake Yeah, this is tough that is hard dude also you're up against this fattest lady ever so no one's gonna know the cake Oh, thank God. Okay, we have to decide together I definitely made a domestic abuse joke there. She was cake at the end He's chocolate, okay

That's a crazy line up again like they just get a crazy line of yes Makes no sense. I just think you're like say is that you're like it's a story if anything else and then the story it was it Was bad that's the stuff Jay the stories said it's a story if anything else and then the story it was it was bad That's the stuff Jay the stories like it was a bad show glad I glad I had six hours there. Yeah Yeah Yeah, you got a Netflix show. I mean you're on TV. Yeah, it's something I do Thing I mean shit, what does any feed the beast exactly you just gotta do it Yeah, I would do the view of the view called me. I would do would you like, it's something to do. It was just a fun thing. I mean, shit, what is any of this? You feed the beast. Exactly. You just gotta do it.

Yeah, like I would do The View if The View called me. I would do it. Would you? Yeah, it's The View. I tried to get on The View. There you go. I'm like, they're not doing that. I go, all right. They should have you.

They had fucking. I agree. Who do they have, Bill Burr? They won't have me. Damn. I just, we tried. How great would it be on The View? What's your bucket list show that you'd want to get on?

Well, I grew up listening to Stern, but that's tough because he only has mega famous people. But Stern would be cool because I grew up listening to him. And then I think I've done a lot of them. I can't think of the ones outside of Stern that are ones that I really grew up with that I like. They meant a lot to me. And then I don't have the silly,

obviously Larry King is dead, but like Stern isn't what it used to be. It's different now. It used to be horrors getting salami thrown at him. Yeah. No Charlie Rose anymore. That would be kind of cool. Charlie Rose would be cool.

That would be awesome. Yeah, that would be cool. I mean, I grew up watching that, you know. James Lipton. Yeah. He's not the actor. I know, I know. We couldn't. Oh yeah, but I liked it. Yeah, she fell on

But he acts a pal. That's true. That's true. That's a good point. I just took a joker too for an hour with James Tell me about the process were they mad at you for trashing that after I haven't heard about I think it was so bad that No one cared. It's obvious. It was not heard from Todd No, but it's okay. Like I don't, I don't, I don't, I gotta be honest. Why would I lie? Right, right. Why would I lie?

It's terrible. So I don't. I haven't seen it. That relationship has no value to me. It's not because I dislike him. It's because that has, the value of my career is being honest and saying like, oh this is what I think about this.

Not my relationship with him. So I mean, I would think he'd not care. There's other people saying it that have more weight than me. Good point. Yeah, I don't think it's like. Do you think there's any truth that he intentionally made it horrible or hard to watch? No. No.

He was trying to make a great film? I don't get why anyone would make a bad movie on purpose. I don't think he made a bad movie on purpose. It's not the producers. No one, that's not real. Exactly. I think that they said to them, all the

Jokers and shit love the first one and then it became this like oh What they do now is if they can't if they don't like something, but it's objectively good. They go the audience is bad Yes, this is the new tactic they go, but the people who like it are bad So instead of going oh this sucks cuz they go no it doesn't suck. It's objectively good They go okay, but the audience is bad. So instead of going, oh, this sucks because they go, no, it doesn't suck. It's objectively good. They go, okay, but the audience is bad. That's true. So then they ran the other way and they were like, all right, let's take this thing that people really like to make it into this. Like,

let's let's add show tunes. Right. And then they made it this kind of silly thing that like I don't think was for anyone. No, no one liked it. It's weird because sometimes the critics like they really get it wrong both ways, but like I feel like sometimes they're scared to trash certain like I think there's a lot of movies that come out where they're just like It's like 97% of Rotten Tomatoes. I'm like, this is the worst piece of shit I've ever seen. Oh, yeah I feel worse. Well, Rotten Tomatoes really lost the plot a long time ago Which is it was like my go-to and then it was like audience score 99. Audience score matters

Of course like a lot like more to me at this point, you know? But once you find out it's tainted, you're like, well what are we doing here? I also feel like the days of the critic, like it's so, like I used to read all Ebert's reviews, I loved reading those, I thought he was a great writer, but like the days of like I'll destroy you in my column are fucking dead, you know?

Yeah, I just don't think people care. Yeah. You like what you like. You know, I just don't think people care. Yeah, I think you like you know I think people vote show with their pocketbooks now where it's like if They are spending money. They they like you Yeah, and if they're not spending money they either they don't know about you or they're not into it or whatever Yeah, I think I don't think I have one guy makes that much of a difference like yeah I just did that re storytelling show. He just your mom's house produced it

It was big budget real cameras rips and all this shit, and I was like wow I was impressed I go what are you gonna sell this to Netflix he goes now. I'm gonna do pay-per-view Why would I do net they're gonna lowball me you know they're not gonna promote it He's like I got all these giant comics on we'll all share it. You know tweet about it, right? This is all make a ton of money on pay-per-view. I mean, the star power on this show, he's like, I'm not going to just give this away. Yeah. And I'm like, good for you. Fuck them.

That feels like the new way to do it. That's right. But we're both. I stand with Netflix. I completely agree with you, but I just want to say that we're also just grateful to Netflix and Tetsurandos and the Greek people in general. I don't care what they ban. We're thankful for democracy for the Greeks, for Tetsurandos or Netflix, for all the people

that work there, that other woman. Yeah, here, here. All of them, all of them, that other woman. I think it's all important. I think it's all important. Here, here. Here, here. But, well, you don't have to get into it.

But yeah, like Hulu. Hulu tried. Yes. They tried to throw in the hat and the ring but I feel like Netflix is just so big. The problem with, number one, Netflix is really smart in the sense that they're a digitally native app on every smart TV in the world.

Like, you go to any hotel, it's so easy to log in, use your phone, not a big deal. You get in. The user experience is better. It's a tech platform, it's better. It is. The interface is almost like a kid could use it. It's easy.

It's easy and you're like, okay. Do they make the best content always? No, no. In fact, a lot of the original content there that is made could be a lot better. You know, they've had big hits, Stranger Things, House of Cards, Wednesday, you know. But a lot of the things that have been hits,

like Ozark, they've bought. Oh, I thought they made Ozark. No, and at a production company, they made a full season. There was a bidding war between HBO, Netflix, and I forget the third person. How about that? How about Minehunter? They discontinued that.

I thought that was great. That was a great show. Yeah, yeah, yeah it was good. I mean just a lot of it doesn't hit. Some of it maybe they don't give, maybe a lot of it is so numbers based over there that I think sometimes they might not give something a chance to go.

Yeah, there's that. It's so data oriented. That is so data. So bad for entertainment. Bad for art. Yeah. Yes, but also good for art and great and I'm grateful for it At the end of the day, it's like I think part of the issue now is like there's so much data that you get in real time as that a lot of people go well

You know now look at shows like Severance that are making huge. They've been out for a long time. Now they're getting super popular. So I think that like you got to get people rediscovering shows now. Now you're up if you put a shot now, you're up against every show ever made. There's people that haven't seen The Sopranos, literally. That's true. There's people that haven't seen any of these shows. Right. There's people that are watching old episodes of E.R. because they like to show the pit and they want to find out what it like. Right.

Now it's just this crazy catalog and library of everything ever made that people are watching. And the algo is so different now like Val Kilmer died and Heat went to number one. Right. Heat went to number one because he's in it. It's so weird to like that's how you got your Heat to be number one. That's right. Fascinating. A weird time for entertainment. You are against everything ever made. It's you're up against so many things I mean think about even on the road now when you're like who else is in town Lady Gaga. Yeah, you know you're gonna get you're in Vegas. You're like yeah, I'm against fucking Everyone against the severe. Yeah, I used to bomb it at funny bone

They were like the strawberry fest is in town like I throw everything at me the ice capades are a town the lacrosse team As a game you're like I can't. The lacrosse team has a game. You're like, I can't beat the lacrosse team. Exactly. I heard it all. Muppets on ice, whatever. Yeah, no, it's a lot. Yeah.

Too much out there now. I know. My fucking agent keeps putting me in these big rooms in these tiny towns. I'm like, put me in a small room. Let me sell maybe a two. Don't throw me in the fucking auditorium in Asheville, North Carolina

Throw me the orange peel. I get a lot of like like they'll like I'll be like There's like also you got to keep track like there's been like flooding and stuff Yeah, you gotta watch out for like am I like am I like heartlessly marketing something in an area where people's lives are completely ruined? That's a good point of recession flooding someone's families underwater Yeah, just come to the show just swim here come on Devastation of the tornado. I'm like what on their Friday Before it was like Taylor Swift in town now. It's like I'll meet a school shooting yesterday. Yeah That's right. I got that was fun people people. What's this? Well? I shouldn't front as much hasn't burned down took a nice photo That's a fun bit. I like that. He does the cool guy post this shit. Yeah

Well, it's LA you got to be you know you gotta be hip you gotta be hip and people People get it go through a few of those there. There's some good photos of how bad it is there It'll never be the same it's completely dead and over and It's sad, but you'll never have. You think LA's not coming back? No, I don't know about LA, but look at Malibu, dude.

I mean, look at this. It's awful, yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. You're years and years away from that ever looking anything like it did. And that whole stretch of the PCH, it's really fucking sad. The amount of toxic shit floating in the water and you know it's just really unfortunate And there was a clip that went viral of Rogan

And he was just like he's going on on about this is right when all the fires happen He was like it's gonna be like there's gonna be a fire and no one's gonna be able to contain it And he's going on for like a minute, and it's gonna wipe out the whole city And that's just cuts to my face. I'm like wow Dates on the end of that And it just cuts to my face. I'm like wow and just went viral areas like Jesus dates on the end of that In Asheville oh shit, there's still cars here. It's so crazy that awful It's awful la will be fine, but this is a tough thing yeah, yeah

Well luckily they'll get all their money and insurance back. You'll get some. That'll save them. Do you like being in New York right now? Yeah I love LA too though I like them both you know I I like New York as a place when you're touring I like spending the summer here but I also like like when you're touring it's really great to tour from here it's very hard to tour from LA. You lose three hours. But I do like LA a lot. I love the comedy store. I love the improv. I like the lifestyle, like the weather. It's all good.

Dude, California is amazing. It's a great place. People shit, it gets so much shit. I'm about to do a run there and I'm like, I'm pumped for a West Coast. It's great. Yeah, it's great. I just did Napa and I drove to Santa Barbara. The drive was unbelievable.

Stunning. It's like, you're feeling here in Hawaii. We talked the whole drive. Oh, that's right. Yeah, stunning. The mountains, the flush. But it's down bad, it's what you're in Hawaii. We talked the whole drive. Oh, that's right, yeah, stunning. The mountains, the flush. It's down bad, kids would say. Well, the COVID, the strike, and the fire,

you got a big three-punch knockout. I think it's in a good position to come up, because if you look at the real estate prices in Florida and Texas, they're going down, and New York and Cali are steady, and they're going up a little bit, because people tried Florida and Texas, and they went, oh, we get it.

Or a lot of foreign money is now going, yeah, we're not investing in these cities. It was clearly a pandemic frenzy to go to places like Austin and Miami. Overreaction. Overreaction, overcorrection. And now people are going, okay, people are going, they're leaving.

They're going to a real city. They're leaving because number one, the rents have skyrocketed, so younger people are going, all right, I'm not gonna do this. Right, yeah. And then a lot of people, there's other costs, right? You move to Texas, you go, I saved all this money on income tax, well, your property tax is really high. Oh, you're paying a lot of people, there's other costs, right? You move to Texas, you go, I saved all this money on income tax.

Well, your property tax is really high. Oh, you're paying a lot of property tax. Now there's traffic, now there's homeless. Now there's things that you didn't, you're creating the same conditions from the place that you left in a smaller place. Austin's much smaller. LA is huge.

So like, are there problems that are, are there nightmare areas? Yeah. But then there's also areas that are not. Sure. So I think with and then Florida's like all fun and games until you realize every Restaurant closes it at 8 p.m.. And everyone's a hundred and there's a hurricane on the way And there's a hurricane and then everyone goes off and I love Florida, but you got to really pick your spots Oh, yeah, you got to really pick your spots. There's something special about Florida for I love you know they just amazing I think I'm gonna shoot my next special in Tampa just because

they don't grown at anything no no it's a good comedy you could take someone from Tampa on the stage and kill them. In front of the audience and the audience would enjoy it love it they would love they would not care. But then you like I love Tampa and you then it's like great, but then you're eating dinner in a Tampa. It's like, great. But then you're eating dinner in a restaurant called like Crabby Bills. And it looks like a pirate ship. And you're going, am I going to live?

This is the best they have? Right, right. Am I doing this? That's the problem. That's a good point. And the waitress comes over, and she's got like prison tats on her neck. And you go, is this why I work hard to be part of this?

And then they go, there's celebrities in this town. You go, oh who? They go Hulk Hogan, Carole Baskin. It's all wrestlers. It's wrestlers and the people from documentaries that have been accused of murder. Yeah. And Scientology. Right. And Clearwater. But it's great. You get in that golf, that water. It's amazing. SideSplitters is one of the greatest clubs in the world. To me, I feel SideSplitters, it's one of those clubs, I think about that to me as comedy. Driving into that strip mall during a monsoon and then just like sneaking around a building and going in the back and then having this amazing set and then having your opener go to Chili's and get you a triple dipper and then bring it back.

That to me is what it is. It's one of the only, it's a great club, It's one of the only clubs the audience offends me, right? They'll say stuff to me. I'm like, jeez You're canceled It's fun they love life down there like you see the audience and it's a woman with two guys next to her You're like, well, what's going on here? They're like, we're all fucking. Yeah All right, that's very Florida. No, they have orgies down there, but it's anyone can kind of get involved.

Like it's like retired doctors and like hookers and then also like people that work at this local steak house. Like it's like Epstein's Island from Mongoloids. Just total monsters. And there's something beautiful about it. But instead of 14 year olds, it's like 68 year old women who make tits. There's seven and one.

Yeah leather skin, but they're still. But it's a great place. There's no better place to give up. Oh yeah. It is. That is the place. And then Key West is like the jizz puddle that Florida shot out because they're even more detached.

No, they're out. Oh, that's fun, man. It's just dark. There's a darkness there. Oh, yeah It's adult like people that are trying to get away from stuff. Yeah, they've run away from stuff Yeah, you know, I always say it's like New Orleans fucked a red lobster because they got yeah wild drinking But they're also like beachy. Yeah fun. They're fun people. Sunburned. Yes. A nice red burn. Yeah, and they've seen it all. They're all like, you know, you talk to a cop

and you can't, that's how the people are. Yeah, no, they're awesome. They're all molested or molested. And they're friendly. You'll go to a CVS and you'll ask, you'll be on the phone talking to somebody, they'll overhear you and give you a recommendation. They'll go, actually, what you should do.

Yes. And you're like, oh, you guys are so friendly here and in New York You can literally look at a cashier to CVS and directly ask my question. They will turn away Headphones and you're like, all right. Well, so it's there's a friendliness there because people just live. Yeah, there's no boundaries I kind of like the rudeness of New Yorkers I was walking with a tell the other day and we just walked into a CVS and a woman was thinking forever So we just walked in front of her she goes. Oh fuck you too. Yeah We just laughed it's kind of fun, of course. Yeah, that's the thing in LA interested people are very like passive aggressive

Yeah, and they just they insult you in kind of a different way and it's just like instead no one will ever say fuck you No, no, no, they'll never hear that in in LA, but it'll just be some version of that It's a version of fuck you like you bring your girlfriend or your wife to a show and the comments like hey, what's up? You're like, this is my wife. They're like So you working on that screenplay like they don't acknowledge her because she's not in the business, right? I can't get it. They'll go like this. They drop the the the word doing they drop an octave like to go like this. Ready? They go. How are you doing? Like it's a way to just say like, how are you doing? Are you? I'm worried about you. How are you doing?

Yeah. How are you? Interesting. Doing? You okay? Yeah. Okay. It keeps getting worse. It's like so gonna kill yourself. It's so patronizing. Are you okay? Yeah? Yeah, you hear that Whitney? Yeah How you doing? Yeah, she said she's moving to Texas, but I don't believe it is she I think the moving to Texas is over Really? I I could you putting your foot down was I think a big part of that probably no It wasn't I but maybe I just think it would listen Here's the deal one person being like no is is helpful. I think it's listen at the end of the day Let's let Joe was the best the club is the best we every you know I love Shane. I love Tony love everyone Here's a problem the

Color the city of Austin, Texas. Let's be very honest is dangerous the homeless There are more aggressive than I've ever seen them in New York. There's pockets of it that really do look San Fran like. It's not good. Like as a metropolis, it's bad. It's brown. It's pretty small. It's small, it's brown, there's no grass. It's not green.

It turns brown. For four months out of the year, it's over 100 degrees. The lake is vomit colored and there are brain-eating amoebas that can swim up your nose and kill you within 48 hours. It's rare, but it happens. Wow. In all this in Texas. Yeah, in all the hot lake states,

when you get in the lake and go, ooh, this is nice and hot, instead of a glacier lake. Wow, eat the brain. Listen, as a city, it's just you cannot compare it, sorry, to New York or Los Angeles. Can't be compared. Nice to hear that. You know, listen as a city, it's just you cannot compare it. Sorry To New York or Los Angeles. Mmm. Can't nice to hear that can't be compared. Nice to hear I mean that's not news to anyone right? I mean no one not that Don't say that in the green room with a mothership. They'll stab you

Well, I feel like I'm starting there in Biden's America to move there invite now It's Trump's America and all of America is kind of like Austin. I think the politics of New York and LA are insane. I don't agree with any of the people that run any. I'm just talking about the city. Right. The lifestyle. The culture. I would love if they elected a Republican governor in California.

I'd love it. I'm just talking about, let's be very honest about the actual city. Suburbs are nice. The people are cool. I love Texas. I love Dallas. I like Houston. Yeah. I like San Antonio better like the actual city of Austin is four blocks And one of them is just 20 person brawls like melees that they're broken up by horses

Like and so I don't even know what we're talking about. I don't yeah, I don't I don't want to visit Yeah pop in for the weekend pop out Yeah, I agree But also all these towns you go to they have to tell you how great it is Which is like a person who posts their wedding photo every day and you're like you guys are gonna break up right think about New York Everyone shits on it if you go New York sucks you go. Yes, even the people that love it go you have no idea Right you have no idea how much it sucks I'll tell you why it sucks and we all because we love it. Because we love it.

Exactly. My wife's a fucking whore. You ever going to leave her? Of course not. Exactly. I love whores. Right. But you don't have to blow New York every day because it's already great.

And look, it's got its problems too. The part of living here is being in a constant state of irritation because minute to minute there's more frustration in New York. There's more stimulation. You're going to get bumped by a crazy person more often. There's more people on each block the the there's less space You're you're navigating you're going to be more frustrated here But at the end of the day, you're still like good place to live What is it?

You ought to do is the worst to the right and the worst to the left like Everyone's either like a proud boy is like ready to get in a brawl, or it's like a non-binary blue hair dreadlocked gremlin. They push each other to further length. What is it? Is there any normal human? Is there a person? Right. Normal people are like college kids or tourists.

That's a good point. Interesting, yeah. I think they push each other so much that they end up circling around and becoming the same thing. Yeah, it's just like a weird, it's odd. Well, the problem with New York and LA, they're so different. New York is like a family that's constantly

yelling at each other, like shut the fuck up! You're like, Jesus Christ, my family's dysfunctional. Then you go to LA and no one talks. That's like a family that never speaks. And you're like, so which one is better? That's why it's good, you do both. Yeah, I got to do both. Because in LA it is lonely and weird,

and soulless and vapid and strange and cold and isolating. And it really is a hard place. And it's, you know, it's, but it's, there's a weird seductiveness to it because like it is pretty and it smells nice. It's got a honeysuckle and jazz and it's weird. And it's like weirdly mysterious. And you keep thinking it's gonna get better

and it never does. Right, right. But you keep having this vision of the life you'd like to live there if you had the right friends, were in a good relationship, or if you had all the things that like, I'm like, well if I had a Mar type show and I had 10 writers and we all went in and hung out every day, it's never like that.

The perfect version of that city. It could be like that for you at some point. Well, who knows, but it never happens. Never happens, and then you're always on a canyon alone thinking of killing yourself, and then you gotta come back here and have a bowl of pasta. And there's a community, I think there's more community in the comedy New York scene.

Well, there's more hanging out, too. That's what I mean. There's also like, there's young comics, there's older comics, in LA it's very, which I kinda like about LA a little bit, is like, it's just very, you go, you do your work, and you leave, there's something nice about that. That's true. Because New York, as you get older, the hanging out all the time, it does get a little bit is like, it's just very, you go, you do your work, and you leave. There's something nice about that. That's true.

Because New York, as you get older, the hanging out all the time, it does get a little crazy. You don't have to hang out. No, you don't. You could just go in and leave. But you can't. But the culture of it is, I get it. But I like, there's something nice about,

you're in your car, and you do a bit, and you get in your car, and then you're alone, and that loneliness can actually add to like, what you're doing. Oh yeah, oh yeah. You go, no one's in my head except me. Right. And I think some of those things are, can be good. But you're also. Oh yeah. No one's in my head except me. Right. And I think some of those things are can be good. But you're also like a guy who I

feel like your mind doesn't shut off and you're very in your head. So that might actually be a bonus for you to just be like okay like ideas, jokes, shit like that you know. Yeah yeah it's sometimes it's good to just take a walk around like you know an area and just like you you know. But then you also gotta realize the holidays are so bad there because there's no soulful. Ooh, yeah. There's nothing there that feels, nothing's real there. Hey, hey, hey, folks.

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All the stuff that I just said bad about Austin and I'll continue to there is more of a soul in Texas than there Is in California. That's true. How important is soul? Texas has a soul and California doesn't have a soul. I know offense anyone who lives there, but you don't have a soul It's not everyone needs a soul. There's actually nothing wrong with not having I would say LA has no soul I think other parts of California have some soul. I think a San Fran in the 90s had a lot of soul I think yeah, you got to San Diego that feels like, San Diego has like some family value shit going on. There's something just off.

There's something off where- Every film noir takes place in LA. It's about disappointment and broken people and some hot dame fucking you over. The Mexicans have souls. There you go. Let's just say that. The think you have souls. There you go. Let's just say that Coco the Mexicans have souls. Yes, sounds like a Christmas album

Tim and Tucker Christmas the Mexicans have souls, but the problem is they'll be leaving soon So there goes the soul folks solo so long Look at those L-Selves. That's it. Tim, how is your life different when you're like, what's a human centipede? Sorry. What's your routine different day to day in LA to New York?

I mean, I just walk around more here and you go to coffee with people and you kind of see people and you just, you know, like you see people and you just talk more with people and LA is just kind of like see people. And you just, you know, like you see people and you just talk more with people. And LA is just kind of like, you gotta make plans with people because everyone lives far away.

So you gotta go, all right, I'll do this with you on this day and then that's the whole day. And then, you know, but what I loved is like when Malibu wasn't fucked, you'd go, you'd swim in the ocean, you'd take a walk on the beach, you'd go back, you'd do spots, you'd sleep really well, you'd get up the next day, it was like a good...

You felt healthier? You felt, well, I don't know about healthier, but you feel like you're in an area where you can like... Quality of life. Do your quality of life, you could do some cool stuff, like New York comics come in, you go, we'll go to the beach, we'll go get sushi, and we'll do a bunch of spots, and it's a full day.

That's nice. It's a nice day, but now that we don't have that because Malibu's on fire It's then it's harder. Yeah, and it's harder. It's kind of shitty, but New York is more spontaneous You just walk around and you know get in the shed now This is a dumb like a news style question But do you think LA is gonna be hit with these fires the regulations might slow down maybe they'll take a hint and and Change a little because you know you can't do anything now the rules are out of control the regulations I think I'm gonna build a pool for 30 years. I think they are they gonna Write the ship and and save LA or is it fucked to hell?

No, I mean, I'll just say this every time time something happens, people go, this is the thing. Right. And then it's never really the thing. So I don't know if, the reason LA is able to run is because you have this economy in Northern California that's like eight trillion dollars, because it's all the big tech companies. And they kind of run it off that,

like the way that California is able to run they run it off this really Consolidated Huge bundle of money what if they leave northern California, they're not gonna leave. All right, cuz they got to recruit out of Stanford That's one of the reasons Austin didn't work. You can't recruit out of Rice University in Houston Do it a little bit you need Stanford. Yeah, that's the thing It's like people talk about oh is this thing gonna be the new Hollywood you goamford. That's the thing, it's like, people talk about, oh, is this thing gonna be the new Hollywood? You go, no, Hollywood's dead forever,

but Hollywood, you can't just make a thing what you want it to be in a week. You can't just go, Miami's the new Wall Street. You can't do that. You know what I mean? It just doesn't work like that. Areas of culture, it's a developer, very long periods of time.

And there's a lot of reasons that, like for example, people go, why is Palm Springs a thing? You go, well it was 99 miles away from Paramount. And there was a clause in everybody's contract that while we're editing the movie, you can't be more than 200 miles away. So everybody drove 99 miles and found this beautiful desert and said we're gonna make it a hot place.

I didn't know that. There's a reason that everything's, nothing's an accident. Everything's developed in a certain way where you go, oh, we'll just move all the tech things somewhere else. You go, yeah, but the literal Ivy League school that has the biggest, all of these tech guys

are coming out of is Stanford. Right. I didn't know that. So you can't, that's one of the reasons that Stanford's Stanford and the Bay Area's the Bay Area. Right? It's not just an act, you know? So I think that like, that's the difficulty about, you know.

Completely agree you can't take Hollywood and go it's gonna be in Houston now. That's never gonna work. But I do think you can start a new thing that could become like Edison, New Jersey is where movies started, Thomas Edison, with the film reel. He had all these rules.

Everybody said, fuck this, let's go to California, there's more daylight, there's cheap land, and then they started Hollywood, and that's how Hollywood started, all these Jews, writers, all that shit got together, Edison is dead, now it's all Indian. Well also, how many movies are being filmed? Hold on, hold on. Wait, what was that?

I followed that right up till the end. You said it's all India? Indians. Oh, Indians. Indians, Edison is now Indian. Oh, it's Indian. Yeah, I think they run, Hollywood Over Hollywood no, no, no the do you have you seen the searchers? Taken over Edison, but no, no funniest racism to be like these fucking Indians in Hollywood I can't get anywhere with these dot-ed. They took the cabs and the bodegas, I'll give them that.

But not in Edison, but Hollywood was doing it. How many movies can afford to shoot in California? None. They made a big mistake. That's a big problem. They destroyed their whole estate. It's hard to shoot a movie in New York too. I mean, it's so expensive it is. They go to Toronto, Atlanta, New Orleans.

Hoboken. They never should have let any productions leave because that to me once you let them all leave and people go Oh shit, we don't have to live here then fucking nobody's who's gonna live there They literally said I think Ben Affleck just came out on a rant and said it's cheaper to ship the crew to Ireland and shoot There than to go across the Radford look how they did the brutalist. They shot it in all in Europe. Yeah Oh really? Yeah, none of that was in LA just becomes a vassal state of China. They're buying all the big real estate now truly Yeah, 75% of people buying high-end real estate in Los Angeles are Chinese nationals. So if you're selling a property over $10 million, at least 50% of them right now are being bought

by foreign money and heavily Chinese. Well, that's a wrap. Couple of Saudis, couple of this, couple of that, but it's no longer a play. The head of the studio isn't living there anymore. It's the Chinese amusement park. Where they living now? They're, you know, they maybe are splitting time. Some of them, a lot of them are still there, but they've downsized there.

Some of them have gone somewhere else, you know? I heard it's all Indian. No, it's a lot of Indians. Yeah, God, this is wild. There's not enough American money to, just like New York, there's not enough American money to run these cities. Really? Yeah, now.

That's terrifying. No, they're global. You take farm money out of the city, the real estate values will crash 40%. Wow. Yeah, 50% easily. Easily. How do we do it before like the 50s? Well, in the 50s, you weren't number one, you didn't you didn't have $200 million apartment. And also people could afford homes back then you get a regular job and they should go back to that look at CEO pay

wasn't like a million times what a worker made. Like there was more of a value. But now you have and also in the 50s, all the countries, they didn't have billionaires in those countries. Right. Like you didn't have like now you have India's coming up. China's there. Oh, yeah. Russia has tons of wealth. You know, Brazil, all these emerging market, whatever.

Forget the Middle East. Right. I mean, Dubai, Qatar, all these. Yeah. they all have the money now to come in here and buy tons and tons of real estate. And without them, you know, you're the average condo price in Manhattan, I think is $2.3 million, which is way higher than it should be. Without foreign money, that falls to probably about a million bucks, which is still a lot of fucking money. But isn't that good? Um, then we can know. Well, listen, it is good a lot of fucking money. But isn't that good? Then we can pay less. Well, listen, it is good in certain ways. No one has a house anymore.

No, I agree with you. And I think it might be good. But if you're invested, if you're 401k, it will not be good for that because all of you have a place in all of your investments, even if you're a teacher, are tied into these big companies like BlackRock. That's why this is why they do it like this. So they get everybody integrated. So they go, sure, you want to fucking do this?

We'll pull the plug and everybody loses. Right. All your 401Ks are indexed to these stocks. These stocks are based on what do you think all these all these private equity companies are doing? Right. So all of these companies tumble because the prices of things tumble. I mean, it becomes a problem. Yikes. So it's a big scam. Yeah.

But I think if you unwind it now, it could be ugly. Right. It's bad, but undone it could be worse. Yeah, it might be, well, you know. It's a big club and you ain't in it, George Carlin. Well, we're all in it, that's really, that's actually the worst thing.

Yeah. We're all to some degree in it. It's so funny when people get offended by. And then we're living in this hellscape of like Chinese money. Yeah. Yikes. Oh, I got to ask you this, because Chrissy

told this story about Emma Stone and you on the Polycat. Does she hate you? I don't know if she hates me, but she didn't like me because of an incident in a sushi place in Sushi Park. No, it's not, you're not gonna find it. No. Okay, you got an issue trigger finger.

But no, she didn't like whatever, like she was in a sushi place that we both liked going to and there was like, we didn't know whose table it was or whatever and she didn't like, she was a couple of looks being thrown and comments, you know, it's okay. Interesting. You know?

Yeah, I heard Bill Burr, somebody goes, you wanna meet Obama? He goes, no, I don't wanna be Obama. Like, you don't like Obama? He's like, no, I just wanna be able to make fun of him. Right. If I meet him, I can't shit on him. I didn't wanna go to the inauguration

because I go, I wanna be able to say whatever I want. Exactly. And if I go, and then I feel weird about saying it, maybe. That makes sense. I think that's the move as a comedian. Yeah. What, are there any people who have reached out who you trashed in your podcast,

where you're like, I feel a little bad, I shit on them or? Uh, no. Some people like it. No one really reached, no one reaches out, and they're usually, usually it's big figures that are not, like people like Meghan Markle don't care. That's why she succeeds, she doesn't care.

She knows, she leans in. Yes. And that's why it works. Yes. Is it work? I feel like, I guess she's just failing upward. I feel like everything she does seems like it doesn't work. Right now I think part of it is just being famous

whether you're liked or hated. Right. I don't know if it matters if people like you or hate you. That's true. It's like obviously you don't wanna be hated, I guess. Some people don't want to, but I don't think she really cares. She doesn't seem to care. Yeah. My neighbors in Brooklyn are British and they're like, we fucking hate Meghan Markle. She ruined the royal family. We hate her show too. We just finished it. So like they watch

the show because they hate her. No, you got to hate watch the show. Remember the Stern thing? Yes. How long do you listen? Yeah. To the person who likes you? Yeah, they listen more.

People don't like you listen more. So I think that's the move do you listen? Yeah. To a person who likes you. Yeah, they listen more. People don't like you listen more. So I think that's the move, you know? Yikes. And Meghan Markle's like, she doesn't know what a podcast is. She doesn't care. Somebody showed her a clip of me probably and she goes, who cares, this fat idiot's. I just scammed the prince.

Exactly. I just conned the royal family. What do I care? I wonder what that behind closed doors is like. Oh, it can't be pretty. She knew what she was doing, I think and I think it was it was actually smart She was like fuck this she does fuck this well. She knew he didn't he court her He saw her on TV was like I want her I guess no there's no way I mean

That's what I heard, but I think she did the back work by the way that is a fucking cool level of Success you're like her. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, but I think what was great about her. She's like I'm so into like in the beginning She was so into you watch that documentary. She's so into it in the beginning She's like doing the appearances everything like that the deal with the British royal family is they the the people pay for their lifestyles So the people pay their taxes allow these people to live like Disney characters. Yeah. And the-

It is a strange tradition. But the payment for that is that they get to know everything about your life. Meaning like it's the ultimate reality show to them. They don't have the Kardashians, they have the royal family. Right. So they, so these women in like Putney or whatever,

these little places, you know, what's Kite's cancer? What cancer does she have? And they're into it because that's their entertainment. Yes. And then Meghan Markle came in and goes, what do you mean you want a picture of my kid? And you go, it's our kid. Right.

We pay for this, all of this shit, and you people belong to us. And she didn't, she had to know that. You can't not know that going in. So Princess Di in a car crash was like, that's a ratings bonanza for them. It was the season finale. That is the season finale of ER. It's Juliana Margulies and Clooney. Well, they won't that.

Yeah, that's just like, hey, we eliminated a character. We had to write you off. It's big. But that's the game over there. It's like they don't, they're obsessed with those people. Obsessed. Princess Beatrice, these people look like they got hit in the mouth with a golf club.

I know, but it's like the wire. You're like, who's that character again? None of them are hot hot it doesn't matter They're just royals and they're upset cuz it's by the way if you take away the royal family over there. What do you have? Mmm, that's the question like here's the thing about America. Take away the president Yeah, if you take away the president in America You can't even though like let's say the country would still kind of run You can eat Jesus

Well at least our celebrities are attractive, but by the way, it's inbred it's inbreeding of course Toothy BJ right there, it's a tough one. Yeah, there goes Big Ben. Holy hell Wow, oh my somebody get a Carrot, it's like we're obsessed with the president everyone writes about the president. They're obsessed with these people sure sure they love it At least Trump is saying crazy shit. They're like I do hear what Trump said that was crazy These people they're so boring. They're boring. They're incredibly boring

until they start cheating on each other or killing each other. Well the only interesting story is the one they won't talk about, which is Prince Andrew. Epstein Island. Prince Andrew, they keep him nice and locked up. Yeah. Well we watched The Crown, that was interesting.

That was a good show. Good show. First couple of seasons at least were pretty good. Yeah. I don't know. There's a, yeah. Lithgow was a good Churchill. Yeah. He's great. He's a good show. Good show. First couple of seasons at least were pretty good. Yeah. I don't know. There's a, yeah. Lithgow was a good Churchill. Yeah.

He's great. He's great. But yeah, you're right. That is their reality show and it's literal reality. That's what it is. And it's perfect because Harry is the fuck up. Yeah. You know, he goes and marries the black chick.

He moves away and then the other guy went bald, but his wife is a class act. It was like you were saying, it was like 90s racism, but they were holding on to that. That's right That bad it was probably like very polite racism. Well, did you hear what she said the most racist thing she's ever heard what? Someone in the family said oh, he's so pink and you're light brown I wonder what color the baby will be and she was like this is most racist thing I've ever heard who I mean Listen, maybe it was the way they said it was in delicate, but it was probably not it was minor curiosity It also sucks to be described as light pink

What do you think's coming out of your love well Chris Rock and that great bit He's like that ain't racist black people do that to black people. Like, oh I hope he's not too dark. He did it better. I like her, I like her now, I think she's won me over. Really? Wow, she's got the cupcake show now or what have you done? Well she's, not only that, to me the best thing in the world is somebody who goes, oh you hate me? Good. You'll really hate this. Like that to me, I go, cause by the way, it gives you nowhere to go. She's a heel. Yeah. There's nowhere to go now. Right. Interesting. How long do you think people are going to

care about her? She'll get, she'll milk this for a few years. She'll keep working. And then she's going to have to throw him away or he's going to have to throw her away or they're going to have to go back to the UK. I predict they're going back to the UK. Oh, 100%. They're going back. Yeah, that'll be a whole thing. I predict they're going back to the UK. It's gonna be a whole thing.

It's season three. Yes. It's season three. A lot of pearl clenching. The fan is gonna go, I never. It's season three. Charles is gonna croak. Yep.

He's gonna come back right before the dad croaks. He's gonna have a deathbed, make peace with his father. His father's gonna go, I also had many, I also dated blacks. Yes, they were brown. He's gonna go and and then they're gonna be back and the brothers gonna be reunited and it's back. And then everybody in Britain's like, let's bullshit. Take that to the bank and you know what? She's gonna black it up. She's gonna walk in there with a boombox on her shoulder. Yes purple sweatsuit, break dancing into the castle. A thousand percent in living color black. Yeah gold teeth, grill, big sneakers, shooting up the place it's gonna be

great. Dapping up Trump. Grape drink. You name it. Yeah. Grape drink. Well, that's good. I think you just sold season five of Royal Queefs. If they're listening, that's the move. Season six is all Indians. And it will just all be Indians. All England is Indians. These fucking Indians are running this script room. Well, a lot of Indians in England. Yes. Good Indian food. Great curry over there.

Shish Mahal, a block from the Stan Comedy Club in Glasgow, Scotland. Maybe the best I've ever. Oh, really? You've got to hit us with some food wrecks. Because you are like, by the way, you gave us a food wreck in one place. Was it good?

It was good. And you're one of the only people Veeder will let eat away. Oh, yeah. You've earned his respect as a food. He's a snobby cunt. Yeah. You've earned his respect as a food. He's a snobby cunt. Yeah. You've earned his respect.

Where was it? Do you remember? I forgot. It was a seafood place somewhere. Interesting. But you... It was... Chicago?

No, I have a spot in Chicago. I go to Shaw's Crab House in Chicago. That's where I go to there. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But, uh, Stefano and I got fucking lit up last time we were there and ended up... He books us on a boat. We had like five martinis each and he's like we have his one of his kids with

him and his girlfriend and he's like I got us a boat tour and I'm like that'll be nice we'll get hammered we'll talk it's with a guide so we just have to sit there quietly as a guide like and here's this like we're just like cool you can tell them to shut up they don't care that's true push them over like a Robert Wagner but now you've earned give us some give us some food spots, New York, LA Where should we go? I don't know anymore Gotta be a steak. Texas. There's a great place in an alley. There's a junkie who's got really good But this is the type of fentanyl where you're not dead. It's just you get real warm inside.

No, I don't really know. I've kind of retired from giving racks because then I'll go to a place and I'll be like, I'll be unhappy with it. And I just, you know, you gotta figure it out on your own. I don't want to give people any advertising. These people are doing fine. Fair enough, fair enough.

I think Italians, either too many Italians on social media. I think people waiting four months to eat spicy rigatoni is stupid. I think this glorification of chicken parmesan's retarded. I think like, for guys who grew up in New York, like it's a little embarrassing. I'm a little embarrassed for all these people.

But I get it, if you come here from Ohio, you think it's a big deal to eat like spicy rigatoni, it's like my friend's mother will make you spicy rigatoni. You know what I mean? She'll tell you the earth is flat and defend January 6th. But that's part of the dish. But the food is good. I don't know, the food direction the city's going

and I actually don't like. I don't like restaurants like the corner store where they're like, hey, what about Totino's pizza rolls except they're $70 because we've got, I hate all this shit. It's all nightclubs, it's all gross. I remember when you used to eat in a restaurant and it was like you dress in a suit

and the chef was from France and he hated you, but he made great food and everybody dressed up. I love that you're like dressed in a suit. You look like you're Sandler right now going to a pickup game. Well because I'm not being pressured to act a certain way. Right.

We had lunch at Luger's, it was horrible. Just now? It was bad? I never loved, I thought it was over. No, don't fuck, by the way, he's my buddy there. Oh, I love Luger's. I like Luger's too, but I'll tell you right now that the steak we had, it's not where it was. Interesting. It's not where it was. That was like our childhood. That was like. I know I loved it. It was one on Long Island, but it's just not where it was. I had it recently. It was good. Do you ever go to Strip House? Strip House is good. There's a good there's a bunch one power

Good, they have our whiskey to those we we don't Angie is really good in the village. Don Angie's very good Don Angie That was on you. Don Angie's great. Where's that? It's in it's by the cellar. It's like it's near 6th Avenue Don Angie's good Don Angie's killing it. No, but this Red Hook burger. It's the best I'm friends with the guy who owns that's better than a city me Schultz and Bethany Frankel had it Don Angie's killing it know about this red hook burger. It's the best Schultz and Bethany Frankel had it he has a place called sag harbor that's when Frankel ate It's all the time. You know you can you gonna go pull that up so Charles or minnetta burger fine just fine. I love the minnetta burger. I got a minnetta burgers great It's a burger with saute sauteed onions on a bun Yeah, I'll come for you. I'll do it in my apartment for you

Not bad the chocolate souffle was great. It's burgers on a wait list You got to wait nine years to get this guy has created the best burger in the world. He Wow We got to go there he's great It's the legendary sag Harbor Tavern is easier to get into in out east in the Hamptons. Wow. I should come out one day. We'll all go. I love to do an episode from there. Hang out, swim in the pool, do whatever, but he kills it. This guy. I love this. What's so great about it. What's the different looks like a burger sits on an onion. Okay.

So the juice from the burger cooks the onion, but it doesn't make the bun soggy. Whoa. It's science. I like science. Yeah. The juice from the burger cooks the onion, but it doesn't make the bun soggy. Whoa! It's science. It's science. I like that. Yeah. I've heard this is... Whenever you see the...

It sits on a raw onion. It puts the burger on a raw onion, but the onion itself starts to get cooked by the burger, so it's like a half-cooked onion. Interesting. And the bun doesn't get all fucked up, and the cheese is perfect and then I gotta be honest I love ketchup I don't even use ketchup with it. Damn! It's the best thing I've ever had in my life. It's one of the best things I've ever had in my life. Wow! This is a big endorse. We should figure it out. He deserves it he's a good person he's a great guy and you know he's created a

thing that's really made our city better. This is way better than the cronut. People I'm just running for city council like, we want you to talk about education. What Mayor Adams, is he out? By the way, I knew he'd come out of him. He was like, I don't want to give any an advertiser. Yeah, but now, no, this is- I had to bring it up.

Because you know what it is? I'll do something and then I'll be like, oh, then I'll go. I did a recent, I told someone, I said something, oh, that place is great. Then I went and go, oh, it sucks. go. I did a recent, I told someone, I said something, oh, that place is great, then I went and go, oh, it sucks. Oh, it sucks. This is the best burger in the city. Okay, that's the best burger

in the United States of America right now. Wow! Yeah. Let's go the other way. Do you guys have any peeves? Anything's pissing you off lately. I got a ton of peeves. Pull them up.

Yeah. I wrote some down. This is something that bugs you. Let me give you a couple peeves. Peeve, I wrote some down so I don't forget. I had one today that just annoyed me. It's not really a peeve, but it was a specific thing. I'm trying to garden.

Yeah. I got a bunch of peeve. Really? I went to a plant nursery. That's nice. Well, my neighborhood is getting a little high end, so they're all looking at my house like, hey, you're the white trash douche on the block. You gotta step it up.

Right. And it's all these rich parents and shit. So I went to the nursery, I picked out a bunch of shit, it cost me eight million dollars, I lugged it all back to the house, and I'm in the dirt with a fucking spoon trying to put some plants in, and this old guy walks by and he goes,

what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm trying to spruce up the front lawn area, and he's like, you're doing it all wrong, you got a crack in your sidewalk, you gotta change that, there's graffiti on your wall, and I'm like, all right, old man, like I'm on my knees here I'm trying is that his way of trying to help or is he just annoying I think he's just a dick

He's just like mansplaining me about how to garden and how my house sucks And he's like you got to step it up, but I'm like I don't know I like that he attacked Vulnerable you're putting bulbs in yeah, and that's an old guy comes and just goes at you I mean it was bad I was on my hands and knees with an apron on my I can't believe you're gardening you're like that's like real dad shit I know but you're coming that like getting a plant like herbs. Yeah, I'll do it. That's good. You get an oh, it's very No, I have an herb. I'm like I'm a terrorist. I have this stuff. Oh, you do Yeah, but I'm on the road. I always come back to it. I'm like I don't give a shit It's all dead when I come back. That's gonna happen with me and the kid. You guys know you guys know Tracy

Morgan? Carnazzo, so she planted fruit in out east in my house out east and then the bugs went crazy and And then there's just bugs all over the place in the back. So don't do fruit Okay, because they'll go nuts these fuck the bugs all right good. I got a good peeve People who put in the seltzer thing the wrong way the seltzer thing you know the seltzer cans you put them in vertically instead of Horizontal instead of vertically you open it they fucking come out Right this is a bet. I have two bad crisper Oh Oh, I got you. These are both bad ones Oh I got you these are both bad ones. I get I get that I've only bad ones today the Avalanche We haven't done leaves in a while. Yeah, I wasn't prepared

Fucked up. I don't mind the cells my cunt. Let me so many grunt to get out of this Yeah, what else is a peeve I had a couple I had a couple I've never written a damn it I don't even know I wrote these down these aren't even good well they hit here's a peeve and I everyone's probably had it if the restaurant's completely empty they go do you have a reservation I get angry at that because you go why you know what I mean like why are you asking me if I had a reservation because your restaurant's empty but my friend told oh yeah my friend told me work in a restaurant,

they're actually just want to cross your name off if you have a reservation. But I'm like, well, annoying thing. That is annoying. I learned the hard way because they go, we're four, well, you got a 20 minute wait and you're like, well, that table's open there. And they're like, yeah, asshole, there's not enough servers.

I don't like that everything's key fobs now in the buildings to get anywhere. Everything key fob here, key fob there. There's a level of security that I think's a little unnecessary. You like a key? Well, it's not only that, it's like it's a doorman building.

Like are there people running in with knives trying to kill him? Like what's he gonna not notice? That's true. Like there's just something weird about like, I don't know, the level of security that everything has. Yeah, that's annoying. I will say when you ever check in a hotel

and they give you a hard metal key I do hate that. You're like, oh, this is a bad hotel. I hate that. And they think it's kitschy. Although I'll tell you the worst one is when you check in and they give you You're in a huge hotel for some reason and the card keeps fucking not working. Oh!

I always get by the way, they hate me. I get a new card every time I walk in I go I know it's not gonna work. I go it's been next to it. I've done that. It's next to a credit card in my wallet. I go just read redo it yeah, I go. I'm gonna get there And then it's not gonna work exactly I could I hate the walk the walk back is annoying We've all this do we have retina scan we can't get a card to work like what are we doing here? It's a fucking Hilton. Oh speaking of hotels. No hand lotion in your room. Oh you want to jerk it yes Like you're gonna make me go down to the front desk. I'm like I need to jerk off

He peed, but I like I appreciate it's a very creepy. Yeah, I mean he looks the part Yeah, he's like come on because no hand lotion in the room, and there's no kitty porn options TV No another promise of the hotel I'm not the first guy to say this but the there's no plunger Sometimes you're on a you're on a hot date with a with a bang with a gal and you just shit up the toilet It won't flush like I gotta get on my hands and knees. I'm going further. I want a toilet brush I'm on the road. I might have travelers diarrhea. Okay. Well, that's ridiculous

You want to get on your hands and knees like a maid I'd be give yourself a value Yeah, I might want to scrape my own diarrhea off the Toilet I like that job well done In my strong suit I apologize I'll get you a brush for Christmas All right, well watch Tim's new special. Netflix. Yes, yes. We love him. It's called, it's I'm Your Mother, It's All Indians on Netflix.

That's what it's called. Great. Woo, hey, is that John Daly? That's his shot there. Is that the Ice House? There's no dates. I have no dates on set, no material. There's no dates on sale.

Well don't you hate that? You put out a special and people go, we loved it. We want to come see you. And you're like, I'm out of material. I have nothing, yeah. I will, I will, I will get it. This is, I'm doing, I will get it This is I'm doing Spanish To build shock Spanish because who runs this site by the way go to follow your punch up

Hey you talked to Baldwin by the way, he's great My coffee shop great man, I'm a fan he looks a little on edge I think the wife is really running him ragged, but. He's got a lot of kids. We got Phoenix. Oh, so here's San Francisco at the Masonic, Portland. I added a late show on a Monday, so please come out. Seattle, Vancouver, Boise, Denver,

and then we just added Red Bank, Boston, Irvine, OKC. Yeah, work back up, Vegas at the Venetian, is that the Venetian I think, right? What does it say? It says Piazza Theater at the Venetian Resort. Okay, cool. Rochester, I like that club a lot. And then we got Chicago Theater, that's a big one, Chicago October 4th, going back to Salt Lake again

to just get some reps in, and then we got Carnegie Hall December 4th, please come out. That's a big deal for New York. My hot take, Chicago Theater theater and people might disagree. I think maybe best comedy venue in the country I don't think that's a hot take great because it's big but it feels intimate and it feels like a road gig But it's the like obvious the best version of the road. She's you're in a great city. I love Chicago That's a couple hour flight away. It's great food great walking great chillingin and then yeah great show and the crowds I think are some of the most amazing cuz it's like you get that city vibe at Midwest Midwest is really good It's I just performed for the first time ever in Des Moines, Iowa

It was one of my killer it was fucking amazing Midwest is great Midwest and also got the Masonic is one of the best venue I've never done it actually so I'm fired up dude. It's a mate. Don't go outside. They'll kill you Don't kill me, but get a little soda. He's food in the world Yank Singh or any of them, I don't know him but They're all good. Yeah, I love I love SF dude But yeah, I'm fired up man. Oh That hurt that was a weak one. Yeah, that was weak. Sorry Mark's date May 7th in right the full UK, right Kovac Glasgow

I'll go to that pizza joint you mentioned United Kingdom London, Belfast Birmingham Bristol And then back into upstate New York to get my ass kicked in Rochester at the Kodak Center Portchester Albany Burlington Wisconsin, Massachusetts San Jose Ben Salem up you at the fucking Foxwoods. And then off to Australia. So a lot of dates, the baby's dead, we're getting back on the road and we gotta make some money.

Also, page to stage. Check out page to stage, folks. Episode two out now on Punch Up. And we got Seinfeld in it, John Stewart, Gaffigan, Bruce Springsteen. It's a hot ep. Amazing, yeah. And Samaffigan, Bruce Springsteen. It's a hot app. Amazing, yeah. And Sam.

Oh, oh, hell yeah. Get Bodega Cat. Yeah, bodegacatwhiskey.com, dude, we're popping up everywhere. The new article on the wine is wine enthusiasts. Yes, yes. That was really cool. Very nice.

Check that article out, really cool. We're in all the restaurants Tim hates, so check it out, get a bottle, get a glass, get a cocktail. And yeah, Tim, you're the best, we love you man. Thank you guys. Thank you Timbo. Sunday's the day for my next offender, a bit of Piva Rec you know the future's close.

I've had a little too much bourbon and Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope and I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like a cop's comin' And naked Samuel is feelin' dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way in the same way

We might be true