We Might Be Drunk - Ep 237: Dolph Lundgren

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

Dolph Lundgren pulls up and the boys go deep—Viagra talk, Warhol stories, and that time he almost starred in Gladiator. They kick things off with a Sandler sighting at the club, debate the confidence of gay men, and take some wild swings at modern fashion. Dolph opens up about his return to the big screen, Nordic tours, and directing behind the camera. Plus, they relive ‘90s Simpsons gems, sip classic cocktails, and pitch cold plunge setups that’ll piss off your landlord. Sponsored by: 💸 Cancel your unwanted subscriptions with Rocket Money https://www.rocketmoney.com/DRUNK 🩳 Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off at Chubbies https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/DRUNKS — code DRUNKS 📈 Support the show & check out Kalshi. Get $10 when you make a $100 trade https://www.kalshi.com/DRUNKS 🎧 Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD 🛒 Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ 🎬 Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ 🎙️ Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD: https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #DolphLundgren #RocketMoney #Chubbies #Kalshi #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey

And we're back! Hey! We are here, we might be drunk. This is gonna be a spicy one I feel like. Not gonna get, well I guess they saw the thumbnail. They saw it, they know he's coming. Okay, well yeah, this is very exciting. He's not in yet, but he's on his way. Yeah, he's we're starting early. He's not late. I know people. Yes, I'm when people are late But he's not Jordan Jensen. He's just coming or coming on time. We're starting her. She might be more manly than he is All right, we're off to a fun start look what a night last night the seller by the way, oh, yeah Yeah, show up do some shows. I bump into Liz Yeah, yeah show up do some shows I bump into Liz she goes Adam Sandler's here And I go holy shit the Sandman Tappy Gilmore Billy mad here. We go opera man Opera man, I mean she's got a long list. We got a list big daddy. Yeah, that's a weird third pickle Oh, I don't boy water boy remember the pickle arm

No, really pull up the pickle arm This was when he was really like I got I need a I need a sketch quick Pickle arm. Oh, yeah It was a weekend update Thing that didn't really take but he uh, you know, he's got quite the resume. Obviously. He's at sailor man yeah, and He had a, you know, he's got quite the resume, obviously. He's an amp sailor. Yeah, he's a sandman. Yeah. And so I run a show at the sailor, and I was like, hey, Liz, can you get them on my show?

And she was like, I already sent them over. And then I walk in, you're in there with them. Yeah. He asked me which room was good, and I said, for what you're doing, I would do McDougal and the Lounge. Because he was like, you want intimate, because you're doing stuff that you're not confident in do like McDougal is it low ceilings intimate and the

lounge the same yeah it's so funny that fucking setup what you can still hear clapping the other i know fucking sandler i know yeah what are we doing here it was all embarrassing but he's such a sweet guy he's wearing a puffy jacket and basketball shorts and dirty sneakers and he's got a fucking thick beard and we go, can he go next? I go sure, I tell the guy, I give him a note. Adam Sandler gets called up and then he goes, you're the man and he taps me on the hand, that was great. There's Pickle Arm and then he,

and then he went on and did new stuff, it was awesome. Yeah, it was fun, man. Super fun, super cool to see. He might be the most likable celebrity. Yeah, he doesn't feel like a celebrity, he just feels like a regular dude. Also, I tell you, the wife is so, she's like so attracted to him,

and she's like the bad dressing is even hotter. But you have to be that famous to even it out. Yeah, you just look like a piece of shit if you're not cool. Exactly. She doesn't say that about Salakus. I mean look at this guy. This is like a four year old special needs kid in a closet. But it's cool on him. But it works. It makes it work. Yeah, no hoop in those kind of Hawaiian polo, which I love.

I love that Hawaiian polo. What a hilarious combination, a Hawaiian polo. I love it, dude. I love it, he's the man. Yeah, it was a fun night. Dude, Cari Anthony Towns was at the cellar the other night, too, you know, the New York Knicks. Oh, finally, we get the story. So Cari Anthony Towns, the big man on the Knicks.

Bodega Cat. Bodega Cat, that's his fucking nickname. So he walks in and Liz, the cell the seller manager is wearing a bodega cat shirt Mm-hmm, and he goes I love your shirt, and she goes let me introduce you to someone So I'm on stage fucking around with Matteo and will in the other room, and she's like get off stage I'm like let me do one more joke. She's like get the fuck off stage. I was like all right Wow So Matteo is like ooh, you're getting bitched around, but I'm like, but she did me a solid She's like it's Corey Anthony Towns.

I was like, okay. By the way, you guys on stage are a Jew, a black, and a gay walking to a club. It's really like the college pamphlet Avengers. Yeah. So I'm talking to Liz. She pulls me over. And Carl is at the bar.

And he's got his girlfriend, her wife. I don't know if they're married, together. They're they're just chilling and We start chatting Nick's we start chatting Wow, we're like breaking down each series He's so cool And then I'm like can I give you something and he goes yeah And I we Liz gives me a bottle of bodega cat to give him and he goes oh my god. I love this This is like oh, and he goes old-fashioned is my favorite drink Oh my god. I love this. This is like wow and he goes old-fashioned is my favorite drink

He's look at the menu and he goes and bodega cat is in it Wow Did he do the shimmy? Of course Mateo is like he's so gay he comes out he goes that guy's so gay I'm like all right settle you think everyone's gay. He's like yeah, but that guy is gay. That's true down He's with his wife gay guys think everyone's gay They really don't think they can turn anyone yes. Yeah confident. You know it because they probably turned like one or two Right I had a gay friend. He used to like take ubers home. Yeah, you know this guy I don't want to say his name, but you say ubers home. Oh, Joe listen and

And he'd be like do you want to get jerked off to the driver? And it would work sometimes. He would like jerk off the driver. Whoa. And I'd be like, what a weird, I'm like, do you tip on top of that? I feel like that's the tip, right? Yeah, good question. But yeah, no, but he was cool as hell.

And then as we talked for a while, I didn't want to overdo it. And as he's walking out, he holds the bottle up. He goes, I'm bringing this on vacation. I'm so excited. Holy hell Yeah, and I went over do it because a lot of people were like hanging after but he ended up hanging till like three in The morning and I left I was like I want to leave on a high

But he was he was very cool stupid question was this before after the big Pacers ending after of course Okay, he's not out like I was gonna say yeah. Yeah, he was I blame him for the loss Of course, okay, he's not out like I was gonna say yeah. Yeah, he was I blame him for the loss He actually was the best for us in that series. Oh, yeah, he was good, but It looks like your computer's not even loading you what's going oh there we go Oh wait, I'm starting to get the Mateo thing now How tall are we talking he's seven feet Wow Where is he from Jersey? Oh nice? Yeah, too far

We got what the hell is this Peter's with your oh my god. What do we do 69? Morrell whoa Bodega cat we might be drunk. What the hell? Did I get my size right large? I look Canadian too Wow Norman oh Come on next up hell yeah boy that's thick this is heavy oh Brooklyn bodega cat now is this I feel bad is this a real team mark McDonald no there's no way this is a real okay I was gonna say I don't know him well it will be after this the Brooklyn bodega can wow thank you whoever mark McDonald is what a guy I love it. This is so cool unbelievable wow where this well I fuck

I'm gonna wear white jerk off in an uber Wow it was our gay friend who talked like snaggle puss by the way, okay? It was our gay friend who talked like snaggle puss by the way Oh, okay That's a joke of your dick. Yeah, but look there's some guys out there We're like I can turn any lesbian just get give them one. Oh, I know I've never heard a guy say that maybe I can Turn a lesbian. Yeah, I don't even think I get a lesbian to enjoy a conversation with Turn a lesbian. Yeah, what are we talking about? Yeah? Yeah, I've been to a lesbian bar. They're just like what yeah

What are you doing here? What's not very inclusive? Yeah? No, they're not so why are we at the lesbian bar? Wow, it's a free country. I'm dropping in for a cocktail after my long day of homophobia Yeah Well I got the... The mound guzzle? Scissors. I had a whole bit about this. I can't remember it. Yeah. Clits with a Z.

Oh, Clits with a Z was big. That's big. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, thank you. I forgot about that. Yeah, they do not... I used to live in the village, but there was Cubbies. Cubby Hole.

Cubby Hole. I've been there once. Great park. I went in by accident. I was like, oh, cubbyhole. I've been there once great. I went by accident I was like, oh cubbyhole. I'm like then you're at the party like wait a second. Yeah, cubbyhole Everyone here has armpit hair. What the hell pull up cubbyhole It's a cute little hole the wall not a fan of the the armpit hair and women I'm not either I know that you just want to be free and it's like hippie dippy But it's like sometimes you'll see the hottest girl and then she lifts it up and you're like what the fuck I'd rather see a dick

I think this is controversial but I'm with you the armpit hair is a is it controversial well I mean I don't know if men are allowed to have a preference but we're like different preference it's a free country tell my audience but like my wife be like that's a handsome guy but he's got a ponytail that's out he's out so I'm like okay I feel the same way about the art but only tale is it's a heat check I guess it's a real heat check it's like you're getting so much ass you're like I'm gonna it's like when Leonardo DiCaprio had like a man bond and you're like oh you're getting too much ass yeah you're just gonna like be like I'm just gonna do this right you can't be stopped

it's like Orlando Bloom would do it's like dude. Yeah getting too many chicks right will be like all Musicians yeah, yeah, but I think we'll see a doctor with a ponytail You can accountant with a ponytail you're like what the fuck yeah, oh god an accountant with a ponytail That's that's no taking your money. Yeah. Yeah, that guy's a coke dealer That's that's no good. He's taking your money. Yeah. Yeah. That guy's a coke dealer. The paycheck dying your arm in there. Yeah, it's just not anal.

It's just not my. No, it's a strange. Yeah. Yeah. I know I offended our three female listeners. But, you know, not my thing. Not my thing. Not doing that. Not doing the ponytail. So not for me

Oh for sure sure. I don't know. I don't I don't think it's a kink There's no maybe the people are okay with it, but there's no like porn category chicks with armpit hair Well, I mean I guess I guess you could find anything if you look for it. That's true. Oh now I'm excited I love how fucked up your Google search history is because of us. Oh yeah. Oh, there it is. This is the guy. Okay. All right.

Well, now we're getting chicks with dicks. This is a whole different ball game. Yeah. All right. Yeah. But a chick with a dick usually has less armpit hair. Really? They usually shave it.

Really? I think so, yeah. Because the dick is like a misdirect. It's like a big switch. Yes, yes. It's like when a realtor says it's a two bedroom and you're like, this is a one bedroom convertible. Yeah, what the hell? There's a chimney. You lied. Yeah, exactly.

No, it's a, you're right. They, because they're feminine everywhere else. Right. And then the penis is the surprise. Yeah, if you're bi, if you're a bi dude, that's the best of both worlds. You get the boobs, you get the femininity, and you get the railing of a dong. I'm with you, dude. I'm with you.

I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm if you're bi, if you're a bi dude, that's the best of both worlds. You get the boobs, you get the femininity, and you get the railing of a don. I'm with you dude. You hear Billie Eilish is getting all this shit for coming out as bi, which first off, you don't get to come out as bi.

Yeah, yeah. You don't get to come out as I'm cool with everything. Yes. That's not brave, that's like you're fortunate. Ooh. If you're gay, you're like okay, well I have, there's less people I get. Yes. But if you're gay, you're like, OK, well, I have there's less people I get. Yes. But if you're bi, you get everyone.

This is a bit. Maybe you don't get the cut. It's fortunate. You are fortunate. I mean, Woody Allen, the old bit, you've double your chance for a date on a Saturday. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But if you were if we were bi, we could be blowing each other and then do the show and then we'd be living high on the hog. Yeah, I've noticed like Matteo has a lot of like friends like he's like I've hooked up with him But we're cool now, and I'm like that I have like no exes that I'm friends with.

God! Are you friends with any exes? Not really, I mean I'm cool. I'm cool. But I'm not like hanging out with them. Exactly. Well it's hard. It's hard, yeah, then there's sexual tension, they hate you or whatever it is.

I think dudes look at sex as well I guess look if you're just hooking up. It's different like I guess he's probably not friends with any of his exes mm-hmm Yeah, I don't know yes, but like just hooking up you like who gives it I yeah, I'm I just hooked up with like once well have you seen the gay friends do grinder I mean, it's less like oh the guy's 600 feet away. I'll be right back and you're like Yeah, yeah, I pulled with a car, get in. Yeah, you could go on a date, get rejected, and they'd be like, I'll fuck my Uber driver

on the ride home. Yeah. Think about that Uber driver, second the guy's dicking or jerking him off. Yeah. Like, what do you rate him afterwards? Like, what rating do you give? You gotta go father.

You gotta go father. I go five without a jerk. Yeah, yeah. You know what they need is Grindr. You come and go five stars, yeah. They need Grindr and Uber to merge. So there's a gay Gruber. They need Gruber.

But in New York, that's tough. Why? Because I can't drive. But you're not gay. I know, but if I was gay, I'm like the bottom. I'm the guy who always needs to ride. Well, I'm just saying, if I was a gay man and I wanted to drive a bunch of gay guys around

as an Uber driver, it would be nice to have my own category. It is tough though, but you're the one getting jerked off. The driver's the one who gets jerked off. How many times are you going to get jerked off in a night? That's the flaw in the technology. That's a challenge. I'll take that challenge. You've got to pop a Viagra.

I was talking to an old guy the other day and he goes, yeah man, you gotta pop a Viagra and just, I was talking to an old guy the other day and he goes, he goes, yeah man, I just, you ever pop a Viagra? He's like in his 60s, there's some with the Jim, he's the guy I chat with and I go, no, I've never done it. And he goes, you should. He goes, I had these two chicks, I tore them apart because I took Viagra, I just fucked them both, it was great and I was like, oh shit.

I'm like, but it's like a drug. And he's like, no, it's not like a drug. He's like, but then, you know, he goes, but actually one time I didn't use it with a girl, I was dating, she was like oh shit, I'm like, but it's like a drug and he's like no it's not like a drug He's like but then you know he goes but actually one time I I didn't use it with a girl was dating She was like what happened. I was like yeah, it's a fucking drug dude. You can't can't get depended on that's my dad I don't want to use my agro till I need it But yeah stories like Stavis told me stories where he's like fucks like a superhero, but yeah, oh it works it works Well, I didn't know you were at P. Diddy's locker room superhero but yeah oh it works it works well I didn't know you were at P. Diddy's locker room but I like the old guy like peddling hey you got to get on it man

he's trying to like get you a sandwich what investments you have in my you're gonna be your dealer what's he's like he's trying to help I think you should try it no I mean it does work he recommends restaurants too he's not just talking about a conversation this is pretty're kind of like a father figure. Locker room talk. Alright. Well, it works, Bluechur, all that shit, it's unreal, but you do have to use it sparingly. How much have you used it?

I've used it as a, we got free Bluechur for all the podcasts, so I'd be like- I didn't get it, did I get it? I'm Ielipon. Oh. Yeah, we got a ton of Bluechur, and so you'll be like, well let me try it, I'm on vacation with the wife, and then we're banging on the balcony, you're banging in the car, you're banging in the Uber. Do you really bang on the balcony?

We have, yeah. I see a balcony, I gotta bang on it. I know, but not in New York, there's too many windows. Ah, that's their problem. If they remade a rear window, you'd have to have people just fucking there. I'm going full, if I was on the Titanic, wherever that scene, I would be inside of her. Just saying. People just like fucking there. I'm going full if I was on the Titanic wherever

That scene I would be inside of her just saying yeah, I guess it is cool to fuck. I've never done it What I've never fucked on a balcony. I don't think no maybe a hotel balcony. Yeah, but no no yeah, it's no it is It is cool Nice It is cool. What are you doing? Oh, nice. Nothing wrong with that. That is important for everything now. Simpson's Seinfeld, everything Seinfeld porn is weird. It's weird. Brr brr brr brr brr.

It's like an Elaine Kramer slides in. What's the deal with Bukaki? You done there, buddy? Oh, the gangbang. Hello, Newman. Yeah. They won't let George in the org he's like George getting upset that's a clip right there Seinfeld porn yes put it side by side with the port if you don't mind yeah let's get some of those pics. Yeah fam

I've seen the family guy porn. I haven't watched it, but I've seen the thumbnail. Yeah Lois being nasty Oh Lois looks great of Joe in the wheelchair not being able to get it up Simpsons porn is weird too cuz that was like my childhood I know a little older when family guy came out, but Marge is like that's like that's like our mom right there That's fine. Oh, I know it's crazy. There's quagmire going to town. Oh wait now. We got inset his son is involved Oh shit. Oh my god This is crazy Moe could be banging my answers is a hunk. He's ripped mustache forget about it

Blenders is a hunk. He's ripped mustache forget about it Why the mom something and Bart is an adult there too Yeah, that's the problem with this I'm like not the mom of the satellite. It's a cartoon porn and I'm upset about the character. Jesus Maggie what the fuck are we doing? Oh my god. I'm into this too much Well Maggie's used to having something in her mouth. I'll say that Yeah, what is happening? Oh, hey Millhouse's mom That was one of the best episodes that the divorce. Yeah., I love what I looked at that ending was like come on

What do you say we give it one more shot? She's like no yeah Get a borrow feeling that was oh yeah Feeling bill how the Simpsons made sadness so funny like every time they were sad It was really well done like Moe is the saddest man on the planet like my favorite simple joke of all time is a who shot mr Burns they got Moe on the lie detector and they go where were you on Saturday night? He's like I had a hot date and dinner with friends and dinner alone and All right, I was ugly the women in the Playboy and

Sears catalog And Sears catalog. Ding! Just kept going, kept going. Yeah, they have levels. I mean, you're talking good sad jokes. That Millhouse episode had such good jokes. The dad showing off his new bachelor pad to Homer. Oh.

I sleep in a race car bed. Do you sleep in a race car bed? He goes, no, I sleep in a big bed with my wife. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha. Hey folks, We Might Be Drunk is brought to you by Rocket Money. When it comes to spending, sometimes it's out of sight, out of mind. When every payment is just a tap on your phone, it's easy to lose track of your spending.

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and get ready to turn some heads. Summer's here, dress like it in Chubbies. Oh yeah. Remember how blown away you were when you found out Bart was a lady? I was blown away, I couldn't believe it Yeah, some of those voice actors you ever meet them in person and they just start doing a voice You're like, oh my how does that sound come out? They had a panel on Conan or Letterman was like Dan Caslan at a whatever the name here Harry Shear Hank Azaria

Got the ladies name Voorhees or something Julie cast. No Juliear Kavner. Yeah, there you go Yeah, that that was crazy and they just do this shit from home now and they get a paycheck Yeah, you just build a little they probably have mansions. They build a little sound room in there Nancy Cartwright. That's it. Yes Julie Kavner is whoa Yardley Smith, that's her name. She was in a couple Woody Allen movies. That's right, which ones? Yes, yes crazy voice crazy face. She was also on a show called Herman's head

Which is a old school damn you fuck you go you run deep I watched a lot of TV growing up my dad was scary. So I would just hide in the upstairs and turn on the old boob tube There was a post to Norman's head which can be seen on his balcony Or an uber yeah Yeah, Gruber the jerking off of the uber really is incredible those uber drivers the shit They see I mean like drunk women climbing on top of them after going out and like puking in the car I mean like drunk women climbing on top of them after going out and like puking in the car and the phone calls They hear taxis or worse taxis in a world with no ratings. It is the Wild West. That's true certain people are I mean, of course you still behave badly in new verse if you're that type of person, but I mean the rating system

You ever meet someone with a bad rating on uber. Yes, should we look up our rating Lewis Gomez? What's your rating? I'm gonna go I'm gonna guess I've never rating? I'm going to go, I'm going to guess. I've never looked, but I'm going to say it's like a four. That's not, but it's four what though? Four point something, I'm guessing. Damn, I wonder if I'm bad. Let's see. All right, hang on.

Let's see our Uber scores. What do you got? The Mirage had a book on who killed mr. Byrne. Oh, I love that This could have been like the best insider trading ever. Yeah, there's no or Simpsons rider. He's like dude put a mill on Maggie We're keeping it in the app. That's what put Pelosi on the map. She was all over Maggie Okay, I got it. Where do I go? Oh four point eight eight. Oh, I'm a four point six seven Next week, I'm like dude. I jerked a couple dudes off. I'm up to a point four point seven. Oh, I'm rocking You blow enough guys will be like six

past the five Wow, that's crazy that we passed all right that really brought the country together I mean I was like a prime age for this and it was like this was like the who shot Jr this was our version of that and man this like swept this and the McDonald's monopoly dude you that game got me fat really I thought I was gonna get boardwalk dude I wanted that cool meal yeah how you get is a McFlurry, and then you just keep getting you like free McFlurry like now. I'm fatter I know I know second grader with bitch tits

We kept chasing that high though, maybe you buy the fries are like come on, baby You're like a crackhead peel that thing off that was Vegas for kids. Yes. Yes The kids looked like they were shaking like come on Atlantic Avenue Yeah, it's rascal scooters and cigarettes if for those who they're too old to get this McDonald's used to do a monopoly game and the grand prize was a million dollars if you got Park Place and Boardwalk guess what boardwalk was fucking I don't even think one existed now There were a lot of Park places to get you going back, but right but there were other prizes There was like a jet ski you could get like, you know.

There was a documentary on Netflix about this. It was addictive, and McDonald's is already addictive. You can't add gambling on top of what is, for a kid already like the most addictive shit. But genius marketing. Hey, buy more food so you can get the tickets to get the places. I mean, it was genius.

Yeah I was hooked on it man. It was, and McDonald's as a kid, like is there anything better? I know. Is that still for kids number one? I guess, what do you think the number one fast food is for kids? That's a good question. I think it's kicked up a notch with like Shake Shack, In-N-Out, and you know what's big now is Canes.

Yes, and Chick-fil-A is big. Chick-fil-A is big too. The fast food is just kind of like leveled up. Hard to beat like chicken tenders man when you're a kid. Oh it's the best. Or McDonald's nuggets so you get those extra sauces you're fucking you're living. But don't you walk by a McDonald's there's a hobo in there there's a crazy guy with the crown on his head jerking off and you're like this is this is this low class, but you see a Chick-fil-A, it's clean, there's like a Christian blonde lady

behind the counter going, how y'all doing? You know, it just feels, and Shake Shack's got beer and custards and concretes, it just feels like they kicked it up a notch. I don't think kids care as much about Shake Shack. I think like the McDonald's marketing where you get a toy, even if it's a shitty toy, the toy is big, like I get something. The toy was big a shitty toy true. Oh, he's big like I get so it was big

But I wonder if I wonder because movies aren't as big now I guess certain movies, but like back in the day like you get a ghostbuster There was like something that you're like oh, I like that thing yeah They partnered with the right right when they did the space jam promotion. I was like holy shit I get a Michael Jordan like oh, yeah, right right that's true. Yeah, they had superheroes They had everything yeah, and they had a playland That was that was fucking the best you have that Manhattan you get a play No, but like I'd been to a suburban McDonald's. It is legit. Yeah, no there might be it might be like one in Manhattan

There weren't a lot. Yeah, and they I mean talk about a German-fested zone. Oh my god. It's gross those kids like like Discovery zone what are the ones that are like, what's the big one? Not like, show biz pizza, Chuck E. Cheese. Chuck E. Cheese. Yes. That's where it's, the rat? Oh yeah. Who was like, this is our mascot, it's a good idea. I know. Vermin, let's fucking, let's get a cockroach for our other location. Yeah.

There's like remnants of pizza everywhere, and the mascot is a giant rat. Remember the Mad Men episode, where he's trying to help, um, Conrad Hilton, or other location. There's remnants of pizza everywhere, and the mascot is a giant rat. Remember the Mad Men episode, where he's trying to help Conrad Hilton? Yes. And he goes, what do you think of this? I made it, Don.

And Don goes, I don't wanna see a mouse in a hotel. And I was like, there you go. And that's what this is. God damn, he was smooth. He was good. So good. You and I send each other Mad Men clips. I know Graham

That's like a because my feet will just get like those moments and I just that show just fucking rules Yeah, he's he's the cool and then sterling was funny So you got you got the cool Draper and the funny sterling great one-liners rock man. Yeah, I need a new show me I gotta watch I gotta watch that. There's a couple things I gotta watch but I still don't even want I gotta give severance like's a couple things I gotta watch, but I still wouldn't even watch. I gotta give Severn's like a real shot. I tried. It's too smart and too moody for me. Yeah, I get past three episodes.

I know it's hard, but if I get past the third episode, I start picking up. But aren't you sick of hearing that? I know, I know. It's tough. You don't do that with dating. You gotta go on the fourth date. Then you're gonna really start to be attracted to her.

Come on. You're so right. But Landman was pretty good. And Mobland, everybody's saying is good. What's Mobland? That's the new Tom Hardy, Guy Ritchie joint. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, I love Guy Ritchie.

So I'm trying to start that. Pierce Brosnan. Hey, good group. What's that other lady? Forgot her name, Helen Mirren? No. Is that her? Okay. Ray Kans. But yeah so these are the hot shows that he's talking about. I think there's a new one out now. I got a movie rec for you. Oh please. Old French noir Le Samurai. Le Samurai? Have you seen it? Wow. No. It's, it's, I, there was a Criterion flash sale.

I like buying some of those DVDs. So I, I see it playing all over town in the old movie, like film form and stuff. So I, yeah, Alain Delon. Oh. The French stud. Yeah, he was like the handsome dude back then. He played Ripley and like the.

Right. And yeah, I just saw it everywhere. So I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna buy it. Bet it looks cool. It looks really cool. And then I just ran to Andy Haynes, the comedy seller, and he was like, we're talking noir, and he goes, my number one is Les Samurai.

So I was like, I just bought it, I'm watching it tomorrow. Holy shit. Yeah. So I thought it was gonna be a samurai movie. I had Santino over, we were gonna watch it, but I hadn't seen him forever. Yeah. So we ended up just talking all day,

but then my other friend came over and we watched it my friend Chase and it's it's badass hell yeah cool yeah oh nailed it yeah but it's it's cool man it's a cool movie yeah like that's I haven't seen that but I think it's that type of vibe well Santino he's Santino can talk, huh? He's like the beauty is like a real gift of gab. He's like he's like Yeah, he can just go and but also when you those buddies you don't see for a while. Yeah Yeah, we're just gonna talk I end up getting lunch with him at Veselka And then we just took a walk and then we just came over we just like hung like the whole day

I was like it was fun. Wow, that's the best. He's a fun hang man. That is good stuff Yeah, that is pre kid stuff when you got that day to just kill Yeah, I saw him at the cellar the night before and then he was like, what are you doing? I'm doing nothing. Let's fuck One of those we're like, let's hang love a good day. Hey, love a good day hang especially spontaneous like that. That just keeps going That's the best. Yeah, we're having fun some good shit talking I take little shit That's the best. Yeah, we're having fun. Some good shit talking, I take. A little shit talking, a little, you know.

Yeah. Yeah, LA is good. That's why LA, you go to LA and, you know, I don't want to live there, but like, you know, you're out in a coffee shop, you meet a guy, you see a guy, you walk around, you go to the beach. You really kind of have some freedom in LA. Oh, yeah. We're at Veselka, which is like one of my favorite spots in the city, obviously.

Ukrainian diner, OG, great New York spot, and one of the cooks recognizes Santino from the show Dave. Oh. Sends over a free plate of pierogies. Hey. Hey. Hey, you're all right, kid. Not too shabby. Not bad.

Yeah, all you LA get queefs, come on out here. I think he'll move here eventually. I think so, he feels New York. He wants it. Because he's Chicago. Chicago people feel New York. He wants it. Because Chicago. Because Chicago people feel New York. Yes. I know it's in the middle, but you're more like us.

I'll say your house is burned down, you know, the fires, the raid, the riots. Get over here. The raids, the, yeah. Yeah, like the open micers are paid protesters there now. It's the whole. Yes. They're like, hey, a gig's a gig.

Yeah, we got ice here too. Get over here. I'm trying to get away from it all.'m trying to live more Ari is moving out of country He brought a hot tub to my house. I'm getting in that puppy tonight. I'm excited about hot tub in June I know I don't mind a gift It's your cold plunge in January. That's a good point who wants a hot tub in this like 80 degrees, dude That's true, but I don't mind at night I'll sweat it all out. You know just get out of the pool go in the shower and with a breeze

It's nice. You got to set up that cold plunge dude. I know I know I'm running out of room I got that whole outdoor area. I know but I like having the grass I want to I still want the green yeah, but you got the underpass thing don't you that's what the hot tub is Damn, yeah, can you put the cold plunge indoor? You could, I guess, but I wouldn't. Okay, okay. All right, gotta set that thing up. Peter, how about I task rabbit you?

I'll pay you 16 bucks, you come over and put the thing together. These task rabbits are nice. We just hired a guy, I bought him an armoire from like, you know, Ikea or one of those places. And I couldn't, the directions, I couldn't find him. I hired a guy, this Asian guy came over, put it together without directions,

just played with it, figured it out, hung up all my photos, cleaned my AC vents, and the whole thing was like a hundred bucks. Rich Mark. I hire real people to do this. I know, but I feel guilty. Real people, what are Asian yeah That's days for sure real people

Guys are good. Oh, he's fading like back What are you doing? Oh is he coming? Uh oh, what are you doing? Oh, is he coming? Jesus Christ, what did we say? Damn, the fucking traffic in this area. We gotta get out of Times Square, man. Well, he can't walk here, that's the problem. He looks like that. He's 6'5", he's a tall, Swedish blonde god.

He can't walk? No, I'm saying he can't go out in public. Really? He'll be mobbed. You think so? yeah, oh yeah People recognize us yeah, I gotta recognize Fucking make one of the expendable, but he's an older guy now. Maybe it's not as bad. That's true. That's true But six five and blonde. I don't care who you are you're turning ahead Yeah, look at a Bridget Nielsen if I saw her walk down the street. I would turn also from the movie

What? They were married. Get the fuck out of here. I gotta ask him about all this vagina he's slayed, because these women are seven feet tall. He fucking killed Apollo Creed, too. Yeah, that's right. What?

He doesn't write his message alone, that's all I'm writing. Wow. Can't believe. I want to double check that. They must have been in a room together. Yeah, man. Wow. Can't believe. Yeah, I wanna double check that. They must've been in a room together. Yeah, they were together. No, she's in the movie.

Oh, okay. Wow, look at that. Can you believe she fucked Flavor Flav? How did that, that is crazier than anything that's ever, like, Kanye, Elon, and Trump. The fact that she dated Flavor Flav is unreal. It's very strange. It's like a simulation.

Look at that. This like crazy stunning blonde lady who's seven feet tall dated this. I wish we could have seen how they would have bred. I know. What do they make together? That's a great question. I think a Ewok.

I have no idea. But damn, Anna Nicole Smith was hot, dude. Jesus, I know that's not a hot take. I said, like, that was, wow, she was attractive, the lady who literally. Well, she was the epitome of, like, big blonde bombshell. Jesus Christ. But the pills, my god, the pills.

Yeah. Pills, they'll get you. They'll get you, eventually. Tell that to David Sacks, what's his name, Sackler. Sackler family. Yeah, dude. They're hurting everybody. Rich family. Flavor Flav.

Not much talent with the guy, he was just kind of eccentric. He's a hype man. He's a hype man. The horns, the clock. Public Enemy is pretty good though, man. That's true. That's true public enemy was legit I was more of an NWA guy. Yeah, more heads for sure. Yeah. What's the public enemy hit? Yeah, harder than you think They got some fucking bangers dude. That's a good blue chew ad harder than you. Yeah. Yeah And if you throw your boat or in public you're a public enemy. So your first thing he said was you saw you knew Richard

Pryor? Little bit yeah yeah. Wow. Yeah I ran into him a couple of times uh because I I met him with Grace Jones. I used to date her. Yeah. And uh I ran into him in New York early on and then I I used to date her. Yeah. And I ran into him in New York early on and then I ran into him later in his career when he was in pretty bad shape. I met him at some premiere and he was in the wheelchair. Yeah. I think he had MS.

Yeah, he had MS. Yeah. And he had that incident where I think his, I ain't told me, I think my crack popped, blew up my face. Yeah, he's free-basing. He had the famous bit, the last joke in Live at the Sunset Strip, lights a match, what do you call this? Richard Pryor running down the street.

Oh yeah, right, right. That was back before he had a scandal and then he talked about it. So you had to watch his special. Because you're like, I got to hear about it now, like the Chris Rock slap or whatever it is now, that's pretty normal. Yeah, but he was a sweet guy, really friendly. I remember, yeah, very, very friendly.

Yeah. Cool dude. Why don't you go up there and play? He went into movies too. I was in her show once. Oh wow she is subbed for Johnny Carson Well, yeah, that's right. It's a tonight show with Joan Rivers. Yeah Then they had a falling out. Yeah, oh they did. Yeah, yeah started her own show. Yeah, that's right Yeah, he was a competitive guy. Look at that. There's you Wow With Joe look at that jacket, dude!

Looking good! Listen to the ladies, damn! I agree with them. Why didn't you have more line? What'd you guys like? Such a kid, man. Yeah. So, kid, man. Yeah. Promoting Rocky IV. There was such a difference between like

my real personality and Ivan Drago. Of course. 180, you know. I couldn't keep any smiling in the movie. It would have killed it. Did you ever just break though? Oh yeah, for sure. But not on camera. But off camera yeah for sure but not on camera but no but off camera for sure yeah. No I felt I was really I remember you

know I knew Stallone very well because I worked with him for six months you know we were training twice a day six days a week, waits in the morning at nine for an hour and then we're boxing for two hours in the afternoon you know so you know're in the ring, you're bare chested throwing each other around. So I was kind of got pretty close to him even though I was a fan of his. But I mean, we became friendly. And he knew my character because I did a screen test for it when I played that kind of, that's a very stoic Russian guy. And, but you know, Carl Weathers. I only met him like a day before we shot the fight,

you know, Drago versus Paul McCrea, and that was in Vegas. So he didn't know me, and I was in character. So he said, I could tell he was checking me out. Here's this big Swedish guy, looks deadly, you know? No smiles, nothing. I said, when he was back peddling in the ring, that was real, you know? It was an acting, you know, so.

Man! Yeah, it was a fun, it was a good experience. What was first, this or He-Man? Rocky was first, yeah. Boy, so that just changed your whole life. Yeah, it did, it did. Actually, I was in a small movie before that called A View to a Kill, the Bond movie.

Oh! I was on the set with Grace. She played the kind of bad girl, Chris Walken. So I met him and... Wow. And one day somebody was missing, you know, one of the stunt guys didn't show, so they gave me part in the picture. I have a scene with Chris Walken and Grace. But I'm not saying anything, I'm just there with a gun.

If you blink you miss me. That was my debut. So you had to date her. There's not a lot of Grace Joneses in Sweden, I assume. No, that's true. And the funny thing is, you know, I was a chemical engineering student. Right, MIT. MIT, so my dad thought I was going to MIT, and I had a full-bash scholarship, but I sort of had quit, right? And I was starting acting.

Were your parents like, are you insane? No, no, but they didn't know, because I couldn't tell my dad, you know. It was, I just, you know, because it wasn't like before, it was before iPhones and such. So, you know, because it wasn't like before, it was before iPhones and such. So, you know, we spoke on the phone maybe every three or four months.

And he said, how's school? And I could, without lying, say school's great because I was studying acting. And then he was, you know, he is a businessman in Sweden. One morning he comes home, and one afternoon he comes home after work and gets the evening paper and opens it. And there's a shot of Grace Jones at Studio 54 with her new boyfriend, her toy boy.

And there was this guy in leather pants, no shirt, sunglasses, and it was me. And I think my dad was like what the hell happened you know so I had to tell him yeah I had to tell him. Well you can go to MIT and still go to studio 54. Yeah you could. But I guess that guy that ain't no PhD. You can see I've had a little too much something there. Hell yeah. a little too much something there. Hell yeah. 1980s. Yeah, 54 was interesting,

because there were no bottle services, nothing like that. You paid 20 bucks and you were in. You could do whatever you wanted. And the drugs were just everywhere, right? Drugs, yeah. Wow. Sex and drugs everywhere.

Oral. When you walked in there, did you walk in there only as a guy in a relationship, or did you go there as a single guy as well? No, only as a guy in a relationship or did you go there as a single guy as well? No, only as a guy in a relationship. So I was very innocent and I was just looking around going, what the hell, you know, I was seeing all this stuff going down,

but I was pretty, I was, you know, I was faithful to grace and we were in love, so I didn't mess around, but. Sure. What about Warhol? Did you see him? Warhol was a cool guy. I met him separate one day. One night I was at a club, club A,

it was called club A I think, and she wasn't there. And some little guy comes up and takes a picture of me when there's an instamatic, you know, Cameron. What are you famous for? And I'm like, nothing, as far as I know. And he's like, I'll put you in my magazine. Anyway, it was him.

And then I realized him and Grace were good friends and he would go to the factory and she would be, maybe he would take pictures of her, but I would walk around behind, you know, in the back area where he had all his artwork and stuff stashed away. Man. Yeah, he was an interesting guy, you know,

very friendly and smart. I mean, I saw that documentary, oh yeah, that's the picture my dad saw, I think. Ah! Yeah. Wow. I think that's the one, yeah. I was like, dad, that's my teacher.

Yeah. There's my chemical engineer student. Fulbright scholar, yeah, there's my chemical engineers student. Fulbright scholar. Yeah, there he is on the left. How did you land on that outfit? That's a crazy. I mean, if you look like that, I know, I think it was grace. You know, I like the gloves, the leather gloves kind of makes it work. Yeah, man, I'd love to watch you to have sex. Rubber leather gloves is like the touch. Yeah, rubber leather gloves, just like the touch. Yeah, that was cool.

Wow. Yeah, that was in Paris. We were in Paris and I carried her up the staircase there at some premiere. It was fun. Where's she from? She's from Jamaica. She grew up here.

Her dad was a minister upstate New York. Wow. And then she lived in Paris, which was younger. She spoke fluent French and, you know, very, very nice lady. You know, obviously it was, you know, I met, you know, David Bowie, Michael Jackson, all these characters sort of influenced me to to try to perhaps. Maybe I thought chemical engineering was not as attractive anymore. I thought maybe show business could be good.

And I used to act when I was younger, so I took some acting lessons. And then I went up for some movies and I ended up landing a part in the rocket picture. Wow. Because I was also a European heavyweight champion in karate, so I had the moves and like Slash says, you can't teach someone to fight, you know,

so it's like, you gotta know, there's not enough time to teach someone to move well. So I had it for a big white guy, a great white hope. I had a move, you know, so it worked well for the picture. Was anyone in the street where they'd recognize you for Rocky IV mad at you for killing Kree? Oh yeah. Especially uptown, you know. Yeah. Was anyone in the street where they'd recognize you for Rocky 4 mad at you for killing Kree? Oh, yeah Especially uptown, you know

Who would you kill your brother for? I was in trouble up there, yeah Staying in my limo, you know, this is the 80s, you know Staying in the limo You pull out Kree, you're like, no, I'm cool I'm chillin' That saved me, you know Yes, Kree Kree

I'm still, I still got, I got some points for that. Yeah. Well, that saved my ass. Did you fight this guy for the championship? It's a little not a fair fight at all. Oh, you mean that the guy? Yeah. Yeah, that guy on the right.

Yes, I fought him. Nice guy, but you know, I think he got pretty badly knocked out. Oh! Yeah. I think so, yeah. This looks like a... I felt sorry for him. I was not a mean person.

I just had to win, you know. Wow, looks like Nazi propaganda. White man winning against the disgusting crown. Sorry. Wow. Well, should we try your vodka? Oh yeah, let's do it. Let's Get the hooch go. Get the sauce. Stand, Mike, while you do it. Make us a drink with your... Tell us what we got here. Hard cut vodka. It's 45% alcohol. No, more than that, huh? 45, man. That's it. That's high for vodka, right? 90 proof. That's what I remember. So let's see, we're going to do three, what's that, seven and a half. Yeah, so it's high proof vodka.

Woo, baby. It's potato. Nice. And only about one, one to 3% of all vodkas in America are made from potato. So it's an American vodka. American from Idaho. Hey.

Idaho potatoes. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, man. Idaho potatoes and Rocky Mountain Water. Nice. Yeah, you'll rock. Sounds healthy. Rocky Four Mountain Water. Rocky Four Mountain Water. Nice. Yeah, you'll rock. Sounds healthy. Rocky Four Mountain Water.

I'm gonna keep the recipe in my head. So yeah, I do a five to one martini, five parts vodka, one part of vermouth. Oh, that's the right vermouth too. All right. And she, so three times. MIT over here. So that's 1.5, yeah, I know, I know.

Finally. This is the MIT over here. I know, I know. Finally. This is the MIT dropout speaking. My dad will be proud of me now. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna use my skills. Oh, this is exciting. I'm going to Helsinki in a month. Oh, you guys?

Oh, yeah, doing some shows over there. Oh, wow. Pretty excited. You like to drink? Already? Yeah, quick stint. I did Sweden last year I played Stockholm very cool oh yeah not Helsinki Stockholm yeah are you going to

stop you going I went there last year oh yeah I didn't get to spend a ton of time there but yeah the crowd was awesome I had a great time it is a fun place we're going a couple of weeks next week over sorry I'm just looking at my wife over there if she's from Norway. Ah, I'm from Norway too, yeah. Norway's great. You seem too bubbly to be from Norway. I've been there before. It's a lot of gray scowls. A lot of reindeer. I mean, they eat whale over there. Yeah.

What could be a little bit diluted now because the ice is a bit, I mean it's been sitting for a while. I like a little ice belt. A little dilution. Yeah. So it's overproof, 90 proof, so that means it actually holds the ice pretty well. Okay. Because when it gets diluted with ice because it has high 45 ABV, it's kind of, it makes for a pretty good cocktail. We have a whiskey

you know way more already. Than we do about ours. Sure yeah this is our we have our whiskey a bodega cat. Oh you do? Yeah. Take a look. Bodega cat. Yes. Yes. Bodega. I lived in Spain for ten years. No. Bodegas. Okay let's Everything, there you go. Sir, here you go, guys. Gracias. Here you go. Now I cancel my afternoon meeting so I can have a drink. Hell yeah. You know, the only problem with the cocktail,

these olives are not supposed to have the chili in it because it kind of takes over, but anyway. Oh, okay. Cheers. Screw it. I'll take mine out. Oh, that's delicious, dude. Oh, it's so smooth. That is incredible.

Man. You like it, right? Yeah. It's pretty good, right? Yeah, it's very smooth. Potato. So potato means there's starch here and it has more, like all the other vodkas, Belvedere, you know, the other ones, Kettlewine, they're all wheat.

Okay. Potatoes is corn, but potato's the way to go. I like potato, I'm gluten intolerant. Yeah, that's right, that's another reason. Yeah, this is really good dude. Oh, that's good stuff. This will be my new vodka. I was a Tito's man, because I'm a cheap fuck.

But that is really tasty. This is almost the same price as Tito's. It's not that expensive. It's beautiful. Was doing Creed 2 a lot of fun? Yeah, it was great. It's not a Dykes-Bruis. So beautiful. Was doing Creed 2 a lot of fun? Yeah. It was great. I mean, I've done, I did Rocket 4 with Sly, and then I did those three Expendables pictures.

So I kind of had a relationship with them. But then Creed 2 came along and I had a script. I mean, I heard about it and I didn't want to make it because I thought, I thought we were going to play the Ivan Drago guy again and they'll probably have him be a bad, you know, disgusting Russian character with no redeeming features. But it turned out it was a pretty good script and I thought he had a good arc, you know, and the fact that my character has this kind of hard relationship with his son, which reminded me of my relationship with my dad.

So it was actually, I could kind of play my dad in the movie. I could kind of be kind of the way he was to me a little bit, but in the movie I had a chance to resolve it kind of in a good way. So it felt, it was kind of personal. Huh? You threw in the towel. Yeah, I threw in the towel and gave him a hug. He said, don't worry about it, it felt kind of personal. You threw in the towel. Yeah I threw in the towel

and gave him a hug and said don't worry about it, it's okay. That's the cool thing about those movies is like they surprise you. Like the first Creed surprised me, I didn't expect it to be that good either. Yeah the first one was really good. Yeah the first two were really good. I think you gotta surprise them because everyone's expecting a certain thing and they're going is this just a copy of a copy? And then if you twist it on people they go alright. It was actually good and original. Yeah. Yeah, the first one was Really interesting they came up with the idea of Apollo Creed having a legitimate son And that was I mean what a wonderful idea for a movie and then the fact that he gets rocket or train on my name

Yeah And sly was great in that movie. He was nominated for an Academy Award. He won the Golden Globe. It was really good. I love that picture. I'll tell you, it's good to see an actor still drinking. All these actors, they go all queefy, they get vegan, they go to yoga, they go to a retreat

and do ayahuasca, they never drink again and they become a Scientologist. No, I mean, I don't drink that much, but I like to drink once in a while. I'm a Scientologist. No, I like to enjoy my liquor when I have it. Same. That's why I like this. And I think, you know, it's got a nice little bite to it because it's smooth, but the overproof makes it more flavorful, but also picks you up,

makes you feel good. Oh yeah, I feel real good. Do you feel it already, little bit, right? I love it, I love it. Martini. We're classic cocktail drinkers, so we like Manhattan's, Negroni's, Martini's. I like the classics. Oh yeah.

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he was at Rainbow Room. Oh wow. You know, right on top of the rock and he made me a Negroni with hard cut it was really good. Damn! Vodka Negroni. Yeah, Digroni you call it. Because of the digroff. I like it. I've been to that Rainbow Room it was I went as a kid with my dad and got the martini and I remember it was $17 and I was like Jesus Christ now that's what like a beer goes for but it was you know the martini, I remember it was $17. And I was like, Jesus Christ, now that's what like a beer goes for. But it was, you know, the 90s. Yeah.

It was nice, they opened, I was there in the 90s too. I was there, I lived here in the 90s, so I was up there and it was cool. It was like 40s, 30s, 40s. Where do you live now? Yeah, West Hollywood, LA. We live in LA and I miss New York. I really enjoyed being out here. I mean this is where

I first came when I first moved to America and have all great memories from the city and it's just been great to be back for a week for our vodka. Was New York wild in the 80s? You see all the porn theaters, the hobos, the pigs, the hookers, drugs. Drugs. Yeah, everybody was armed. I was going out with Grace, you know, first week I think I was with her and here in New York and she asked me to get her cigarettes out of her purse and I looked around and come up with this little gun, you know, looks like a toy gun. It was like a derringer, like a two shot, 32. And I said, is this real? She

said, yeah, yeah, Durango, yeah. I said, is this real? She said, yeah, yeah, Durango, yeah. I said, is this real? She said, yeah, it's real. Why do you carry a gun? Oh, she said, oh, you know, last year, me and my boyfriend at the time, we were held up at gunpoint. They tied us up, you know,

and went through the apartment. I was like, they climbed in through the window. And I was like, ooh. You're like, yeah, that's not happening with me. Not gonna happen to me, man. Yeah. Immediately went to buy a couple of guns in Colorado.

Whoa. Was carrying one or two guns all the time. And this is before they had like, they didn't have any metal detectors. You could walk into a club, armed. Holy moly. Yeah, but I never had to use it, so that was good. Yeah, you're like if a woman created a man in a lab. Six-five, muscular with the with the karate, so you're

tough and you got the MIT and then actor. You got it all. You got it all. And two guns. And two guns! And then you got to be speaking of guns you did the Expendables. Yeah. That must have been just pure fun. That was great. No, that was really good. It was a full cast, because it took so many bad ass days. It was like killer cast. Yeah, no, that was cool.

I got a script from somebody. Oh, my agent sent me a script. There was like a skull with a raven sitting on it and said, Expendables. And I read the script. The advice of us is to loan. So I hadn't read the Stallone script since 1985, since Rocky IV.

So I started reading it, it was funny, fun as hell. Like over the top, like brutal. But it had like on page four, it said, Gunner Jensen, a drunk Swede carrying a big Bowie knife. And I'm like, okay, I guess this is my character. And that's when I fire out this anti-tank gun and blow this guy's, you know, this pirate, blow him up, and just the boots left, you know.

Oh yeah. Hit him with his rocket. So yeah, it was, it was fun. I went, I showed up on set, gave Sly a big hug, and it was great to be on film with him again. Yeah. And when that came out, I hadn't been on the big screen because I lived in Spain, so my career had gone down. I hadn't been in the movies for like 15 years

on the big screen, so it felt really great. I mean, look at this, Steve Austin, Statham, Randy Couture, I mean, this is insanity. Jet Li. Jet Li, Gary Crews. Damn. Mickey Rourke. I know. Big Rourke!

I don't think, I don't know if you could do that today, but he pulled that together. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the thing about Sly is he loved movies. Like he could, you know, be like, yo Adrian, he gets made fun of, but like, you know, he wrote Rocky himself. He's another dude who you like, you hear in an interview and you're like, oh, this dude's way smarter than I thought he would be.

Oh yeah. Yeah, he's very smart. I hear him talk about movies and also the fact that he just bet, I love that everyone knows the story, but the fact that he just bet on himself. Yeah, like similar. We had Chas Palminteri on this podcast who like similar thing with Bronx Tale, just like they're like, we'll make it for this much money if you're not editing. He was like, fuck you. This is my movie.

So did you work with Chas at the nightclub? Was that true? Yeah, at the limelight. Yeah, I was, he was in the back. I was in the front. That was one of the goons in the front you know one of those guys he wasn't more in the back he was more sophisticated he was to take care of the VIP room or something and I was up there with some you know yeah it was it was cool it was a good time it was you know I was in an old church that

was a yeah turned into us it was kind of sacrilegious, people were upset, but it did very well. Yeah, you can still see the church right there in Chelsea. Yeah, I was there and there was me and a couple other tough guys, and then there was a little, the main doorman was a little guy named Fred. Nice guy, he would pick everybody out.

Whoever looked cool could get in. And he got all the bribes. He got all the money, he got all the coke, whatever they bribed him with. And then at the end of the night, he'll give everybody a little share. Hey, funny. How much coke you think you were doing in the 80s?

I mean, I know it was just everybody. I didn't do that much myself, but people were doing it everywhere. Hell yeah. Yeah, it was like you went to a restaurant, like a really top restaurant, and people would be doing coke at the table, passing it around. Like, nobody thought about it. I think it's coming back. How did coke come back? I don't know.

Everywhere I go, Lee on the Roo, doing comedy, and everywhere people are offering me coke and really playing good venues now what the hell you're not playing sandflint I think my fan base is a bunch of degenerate addicts, but they're always throwing coke at a coke stranger now You're a fucking idiot. Yeah, that's true Come to my apartment Well, you know yeah, that's so, at this time, like people are just offering you blow everywhere. How about like, what would- The gay bars, they must be all over you.

The gay bars, yeah. Well, yeah, Grace had a big gay audience. And you know, she performed at a lot of these places on Christopher Street and a lot of these clubs. I can't remember all the names now, but I would come with her. I didn't quite understand what was going on. I was a little bit naive, you know?

You know, we lived in the West Village on Bank and West. Oh yeah. And I bought this motorcycle, this big black Yamaha 1200, and I would drive around with my leather pants, no shirt and glasses. You're so much more of a man than a... People were so friendly, you know. I guess everybody stopped me, hey, how you doing?

All these friendly people down there in the village. It's like they invited home, got invited home to a lot of people. I got out of trouble, stayed out of trouble. Yeah. But it was cool. I mean, warm jerk out. Make their day. Your neighbor. But you know what they say is,

it was that time between, was it the invention of the pill and AIDS? Right. 20 years where anything went and you didn't have to worry, you didn't have to worry about anything. Good invention and a bad invention. Yeah.

Exactly, yeah. Between there was a pretty crazy time Good invention and a bad invention. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, between there was a pretty crazy time in New York, for sure. Oh, 100%. Jesus, these pictures. I mean, I remember you were you were the first Punisher. Yeah. Oh, that's right. That's it. That movie, that picture from the Punisher. That's from Australia.

I shot that in. We shot it in Sydney, Australia. Oh, cool. And they had the same. The costume designer was the woman who did Mad Max with Mel Gibson. So we had the same kind of look. The leather. Yeah. Man. Yeah.

I remember loving that movie. I was a kid. I watched it. That was like, you know, that was badass. Eighty seven. Wow. Look at that. Now, are you you you ever wanna write stuff? What? Like write a movie?

The right stuff. You mean the spacebar? No. No, like do you ever wanna write things? Oh, write, write. Yes, I do write. I've written a couple of scripts, or co-written scripts,

and I directed about seven, eight movies. Oh, nice. Smaller movies, so I like to write too. It's just fun, at least rewrite. When you direct, you should get a script and it's sort of there, but you end up rewriting, fixing scenes to make sure it kind of flows.

And yeah, I have a script now actually that we're trying to, we're developed and it's almost done now. It's sort of about, it's based Lucy and Lady Gaga incident where some dog walker shot, oh the dog walker got shot. Yeah. And they took the dogs.

They took the dogs. Bulldogs, they're currency in this city. Yeah, that's it. Worth thousands and thousands. Yeah, like hundreds of grand. She offered like 500 grand I think. Wow. And they're finding another dog walker.

Somebody came up with this idea that these two kids, or they're like small time gangsters, they owe a lot of money to the mob, and they're desperate, and they decided they're gonna steal some celebrity dogs, grandson them back. They steal these two French bulldogs, or whatever they are, Pomeranians, maybe even smaller and

They're my dog. So anyway I play myself so another version of myself. But you're getting your dog back Yeah, and I call a couple of guys from the Expandables to help me Randy and a few others 50 and yeah, I mean John Wick was the dog was killed That's quite because no one can side with something like you kill a person You're like, alright, fuck them, but you kill a dog. You're like, I hope you rot in hell. Yes Yeah, there's something about that. Yeah, my soprano was mad about the dog more than the exactly And you know if you write a script like if you you can kill 20 guys in a row But if you shoot a dog even in the script, you know the studio's gonna go,

well, do you have to do this? I mean, is there another way around this somehow? You're like, we shot 30 people in the scene before. So you're gonna do some crazy stunts in it, you think? You'll still throw down? Yeah, a little bit, a little bit of fights and stuff, kind of old school, like Exponable style, you know? You're right about the dog,

like P. Diddy got caught beating up Cassie in that hotel. But if that was a dog, he'd already be in jail. Like we wouldn't even have the trial. The woman, we could take her. Beat up Cassie, don't beat up Lassie. Baby oil or no baby oil, we would have been in jail. Cassie not Lassie. Yeah, that's fun.

Yeah, I forgot about that Lady Gaga thing. That was crazy. That fucked her up. Yeah. So anyway, that's kind of a script that I've been working on a little bit. So we have writers work on it, but sometimes you got to rewrite stuff yourself. I don't think I'll direct it, but I'm in it, but I'll produce it maybe. But don't you hate, like we wrote a movie and we've been in in show biz quote unquote, the meetings, the getting things green lit,

the brewing service. These fuckers are in Turks and Caicos, six months a year, it's not taking vacations. You meet some woman who's taken like four maternity leaves, she's got two babies, you know? They're never not on vacation these people. And we do stand-ups, we write the joke, we tell the joke, we're done, we make it special.

With the movie, there's so many cooks in the kitchen, and legal, and money. Oh, they're moving meetings all the joke, we tell the joke, we're done. We make it special. With the movie, there's so many cooks in the kitchen and legal and money. Oh, they're moving meetings all the time? And I'm like, you don't even do anything. Why do you keep? Yeah, it's true. No, look, show business is like that series, The Offer. You ever see that about the making of The Godfather?

Yes, who's that? It's still like that a little bit. Oh, totally. And that's actually why I like, of a godfather. Yes. Yeah, it's still like that a little bit. Totally. And that's actually why I like the liquor business a little bit because it's just a little more easy going. People are a little more chill, you know? Agreed.

I mean, movie business, you're right. Everybody's uptight and people are kind of insecure and scared because there's such a big investment in a very, nobody's sure about, nobody knows shit. Nobody knows anything. Nobody knows if it's gonna work, if you give it 200 million,

you could still bomb and then you lose all your money. So it's a very risky business, you know. People are scared because of that, I think. And that's why they have attitude and that's why it's so hard to get shit done, you know? Yeah, I agree, but I also think that's why they have attitude and that's why it's so hard to get shit done, you know Yeah, I agree. But I also think that's why the internet is is kind of starting to take over because it's just it's right there Right there and it's here and then it's here you post it. Yeah, yes, it was all these meetings But I gotta ask you are there any roles that you were like this close to getting?

Not not that many, you know, I auditioned only twice. Auditioned for Rocky IV and for Aquaman. I had to audition for that because Warner Brothers, you know, I was playing the king, I didn't have that much action. Anyway, but there was one script that somebody sent me in the 90s. It was a script called Gladiator, and I read it.

I was in my apartment here in New York, I read it. So this is kind of, this is not very good, you know. Oh my God. It's a great this is not very good, you know This is before Like this sucks too. Yeah before uh, which his name was involved the Australian guy Ridley Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe. Yeah, it was before that but anyway, yeah that could have been nice to be in that Yeah, best picture. Sucks. Damn.

Best picture, best actor. Anyway. What are your favorite movies? You look better than Russell now, so I think you won that one in the end. And you drink. Yeah, pulled a head. He drinks too though.

He looks like it. Favorite movies, I mean, I like Gladiator for instance, that's a cool picture. That's a great movie, What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie?

What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie?

What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? Driver, Goodfellas, all of those. Taxi driver's like a... Yeah, that one is maybe his best. Yeah, I'm with you. Because he didn't have any monies yet,

to be very smart about how he shot things, you know? That score too, holy shit. Oh, the score, yeah. Yeah, I know. There's some great Swedish movies too. What was that? Was it Let the Right One In? Was that Swedish?

Oh yeah, I never saw that, but it was good. Great, it was great. And then what about About a Fall? Was that Swedish or am I retarded? Anatomy of a Fall? Anatomy of a Fall. No, that's not Swedish. Yeah!

Anatomy of a Fall. I'm an idiot. I think it's French. Yeah, there's a lot of good movies out there. Great movie. I love that one. I saw Alexia, I saw this fairly recent picture not too long ago, which is not really my type of movie,

but I liked the way the director called Greta goes west. You see no one? Yes, I've heard this movie. Greta goes west, no, is it Greta or is it, what's the name, Ingrid goes west. Ingrid goes west, Greta's my daughter, so I need another drink, but Ingrid goes west. Yeah, it's this cool movie, this director,

I mean, because there's a script that somebody wants to make and this is supposed to be, this guy I was gonna direct it, Mark Spicer, Mark Spicer. So I watched the movie and it was actually really cool. It was really well done and kind of, I don't know how to describe it, but he has his own style, but it's about this girl who, she's like infatuated by this social media star.

And she moves, her grandma dies and she inherits 20 grand and she moves to the house, like the neighboring, she rents the house next door to this woman. And she kind of starts kind of infiltrating her life. Like becoming her best friend. Anyway, but the way it was shot was really nice. And it kind of reminded me of King of Comedy a little bit. Yeah, because they're obsessed.

Fan of story, stalking. It's comedic, but it's straight. When you were popping off? I had more, yeah, I have some. When I was younger, yeah, they had a few. And it got scary? Well, I had, well, let me see. There was one guy who kept sending, that's when I lived in Malibu, he kept sending letters

from death row. He's mailing letters and the thing was, it was, you know, somebody gave me a bunch of them. This is before they had all kinds of ways to intercept shit, but I think it came in a mail and the weird thing was it was to Dolph Lundgren, but this long letter, it didn't make much sense, but it was signed Dolph Lundgren. That was the weird part. That's when I had to call the FBI and somebody else died.

Yeah, I did actually. That's when you know you made it. Yeah. That was Ingmar Bergman. Oh yeah, didn't I? Yeah's when you know you made it. Yeah. That was Ingmar Bergman. Oh yeah, that's great. Hmm, the seven seal. We used some ideas from that in that script. It's called Broken Leash. The moment to steal my dogs. Oh nice. We used some scenes from that picture. There's a scene in the movie where

I'm trying to get my dogs back, you know, and I love these dogs. I'm gonna kind of play a bit of a version of myself who's like super frustrated and you know, he hates his career, he's doing all these, you know, dumb ass movies with a bunch of, you know, muscle heads, you know, he wants to like become a real actor and then I get a chance to audition for this,

for Scorsese movie, actually. And he's doing a remake of that one of the Seven Seals, because he loves Bergman, you know, my Bergman was the director. So anyway, so it's funny audition scene when I have flashbacks to the dogs being killed. And anyway, so anyway, so it is kind of like in the same vein as King of Comedy a little bit. I love that.

Boy, that movie really hit you. Yeah, I love it. Did you see Joker? Yeah, it's pretty good too. Yeah, they took some ideas from King of Comedy, I think. Definitely. Definitely took some of that. He's in that one.

First one. Oh, you are? Yeah. The fact that they have the talk show hosts in there. Yep. Yep. And also it's like a mix between taxi driver and King of Congress. Exactly, exactly. Yeah with Todd Phillips. Yeah. Yes he did that one. Yeah. When he was a comedic director then he went full emo to Drunker. I'm uh, I'm feeling pretty good. Pretty good. You get a good buzz from this. Oh yeah, I'm loving it. I know, yeah, it's good. Where can people get hard-cut vodka?

Yes. Let's see. Well, we're in California, like off-premise everywhere. New York, we just launched, like a couple of days ago, on-premise, in Bamelman's Bar, for instance, at the Corlew. Yeah. We're elsewhere. Talk, that's expensive. Talk about an expensive drink. Yeah, I know, I know. Where else are we again? Hudson Malone.

Oh, that's a great bar. Sugar Monk. Hudson Malone got it from PJ Clark's. That cool bar. That guy runs it now. PJ Clark guy. We were there yesterday. Oh, you're in some high-end joints. And then, you know, I did a signing down at Broadway Spirits on Broadway, and then

downtown did a signing there. So we have a few off-premise accounts in New York, but I think I'm learning about the liquor business. New York's different because there's some rule in the state that you can only own, I think, three liquor stores per person. You can't, like in California, there's Bevmo. There's 146 stores. In Florida, you have ABC Liquor, it's about 100 stores. Then you have Total Wine, it has 260 all over the country,

but New York's kind of restricted from the prohibition. The mob, the mob. It's state by state here too. Yeah, state by state. You said that this is an easier business than film and I'm like, fuck, well, that's how bad film is. Cause it's not easy. It's not easier, but it's, I don't think it's easier,

but it's a little more pleasant. Yeah. Film is like everybody's, actors, everybody's a bit uptight because it's, I don't know why, it's just something about it. I agree, they're all scared to lose their drugs. Are you definitely making this movie about the dog? Yeah, I would think so, yeah. We're going out with the script now.

Nice. Doing the deck, yeah, about the dogs. Broken leash. Broken leash, broken leash invest. And drink hard cut. Can they order it online as well, hard cut? Yeah, I think so. It's through Flaviar.

I think that Flaviar is the... The website is hardcutvodka.com. Oh yeah, okay. Get it, this is good stuff. I'm gonna know some of this. I killed it like that. It's delicious vodka. I know. And I love martinis.

And I want three more now. I'm gonna go take a nap. Yeah, come on. Well, dude, it was so good to have you on. And we appreciate it. I'll be at the Red Bank, New Jersey, July 12th, the Count Basie Theater, then the Wilbur in Boston, August 7th, Irvine Improv, August 22nd through 24th.

Then we have Oklahoma City the following weekend, the Bricktown Comedy Club, then I'm doing the Venetian in Vegas September 19th, Rochester, New York, 25th through 27th, and then we got the Chicago Theater October 4th, Winnipeg, Salt Lake City, and the big one, Carnegie Hall, New York City. Whoa!

See you there. That's exciting. Mark, what do you got? Are you guys doing together? No, we're solo. No, we need to stand up, I need to stand up. We do our own thing. Oh wow, that's great man. Congratulations.

Thanks, thanks. You ever tried stand up? No, no. That would be fun. That's harsh, that's tough man. It's a lot of failure. It's fun, but a lot of failure. It's fun though, it's a good life. It's painful. I'm in Eugene, Oregon, San Jose, Cape Cod, Connecticut, Bent Salem at the Parks Casino, New Zealand, then we're going all over Australia, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, then we're back in the Hamptons, Calgary, Vegas, Dallas, just trying to get away from the family, Akron, Dayton, Halifax, Ottawa,

Huntsville, Hattiesburg, you name it. And get yourself some hard cut, get yourself some bodega cat if you want a brown liquor. Yeah, you need both in your liquor cabinet. Get a little whiskey, get a little vodka. This is Dolph and Grace Jones right here. Mix and match, live it up. And Dolph, you're a fucking legend. Yeah, you're awesome.

It's an honor to have you. It's an honor to have you. And thanks, the fact that you made me a drink is one I can die happy. Thank you. You're the man, you're the coolest, and I'd still fuck you. Thank you, good night, and get hard cut. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This warm room doesn't look like I remember And I get down in the same way And I get down in the same way I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This one room doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way

We might be true