We Might Be Drunk - Ep 253: Whitney Cummings

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

Whitney Cummings joins Mark and Sam for a wild one packed with sharp takes and unfiltered laughs — from Woody Allen and cancel culture to body image, internet addiction, and old-man groping scandals. They dive deep into pet peeves, parenting chaos, overcommitment, and why men love confrontation but never fix their hair. Plus, Whitney opens up about sobriety, losing her laptop in a NYC cab, and the art of being “too busy to actually get anything done.” Sponsored by: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions with Rocket Money https://www.rocketmoney.com/DRUNK Chill out: 30% off your first Cornbread Hemp order https://www.cornbreadhemp.com/DRUNKS — code DRUNKS Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD: https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #WhitneyCummings #MarkNormand #SamMorril #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No, you look at, look like you work out like crazy probably. I do work out. I don't know if it's like crazy. I do like weird body workouts. I don't like go to the gym. What is in your? I had a mint. Okay, pedophile.

Why do you just have candy? This would be the saddest pedophile. Look at these, look at these candies. Come on. These are rough. Yeah. Yeah. Why do you have Christmas candy in your shirt?

Every time I see a mint at a hotel. a store, I put it in my pocket. I get it with matches. Me too. I like matches. I love matches. I love when rich people still do broke shit. Oh, yeah.

When I go to fast food, I have to get a handful of napkins. Yeah. Put them in the glove box. And a water cup. Oh, yeah. Also. And I get a club soda. All of the mini shampoos and conditioners.

Yeah. Got a whole thing at home of them. I haven't bought soap in 10 years. I just take it from the hotel, the extra one. That's bad soap, though. It's horrible soap. It's bad soap. It's bad soap.

Get some good soap on Amazon. It's cheap. You get good soap. soap. I like the soap. A lot of the Amazon's fake, I'm hearing. Oh. Really?

Like, I don't know. I don't know. What do you use in your hair? Nothing. Shampo soap. What can we really use in our hairs? Yeah. Whatever the hotel express or the holiday and express has.

There's not much we can do. I don't know how much it's this work, but that you can get like. What is the gefilter fish Jew? I have no juice. Oh. For the hair. I thought it was like, that's a type of Jew. You're like, you're a filter fish.

Jew. I like a wilda fish. I actually think it tastes good. You're the one. Is it always canned? It's like, no, you can get in a container. It's like, it's gutter fish. It's like, it's like a mush of fish.

Yikes. You're really selling it. Well, you have it like once a year and you put horseradish on it. And it kind of, I like, it's good. It's like anal. You do it once a year with your wife. The way you said it was very horseradish. But I, do you remember when, I don't know, it's so weird to quote the New York Times.

You sound like such an idiot. Remember when it used to be a flex? Like, so I read this New York Times. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm dumb. Right. The New York Times.

Yeah. Or you're like trying to seem smart. But there was this whole article about how Chilean sea bass is fake. I heard that. It's all branding. All fishes are fake. Yes. They're all just, there's no such thing as.

Yeah. And like certain type of salmons are bad. Yeah. It's just a white fit. You know, same with Hagenas. That word means nothing. That was two Polish guys that said, well, what's a German sounding word? It's a fake word.

But it's not even German. Well, I just, I think the word sounds supposed to sound jar. Where is it? Yeah. But the product is still. ice cream. It's just ice cream. Just regular old ice cream. Ben and Jerry's not even gay. No, I'm kidding. One time I was sitting with, um, uh, like an older, like a lawyer in LA who I love. He's like, uh, old school kind of lawyer. And he was like in the music video when Michael Jackson's

hair caught on fire. He like came over to try. Oh, wow. Like Richard Pryor, whatever. And, um, we're outside and I have this citronella candle, you know, because it helps like ward off bugs or whatever. He's like, such an old candle. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Let me light it to the bug stop. Yeah. He's like, oh, is that. Is that what it's for? And I was like, yeah, Citronella. And he's like, I don't think it works. And I was like, no, it's Citronella.

Okay, that is known to war off lunch. And then he's like, I don't think so. I'm like, how do you know? He's like, because my dad had mentioned that and they're fake. Oh, wow. Damn. There's a lot of... Pull it up.

I don't even know what Citronella is. It's a black chick I dated. I hate too. Wow. I didn't know that either. There's a lot of stuff like that. But placebo effect is in effect. I think it's more light.

I think it's light. I think you have a bulb thing I put in. I think that works. Maybe it doesn't. Who knows? It's all a lie. Damn. Picebo has some effect, though.

So much effect. It does, yeah. More than regular effect, from what I understand. But also studies are so. Did you ever do, what did you do when you didn't have money? What do you mean? Because I did studies. I did, I got paid to be in studies.

Really? With that gal with the sleep study? Never that. Okay. Oh, shit. Plasma? And once you've done studies like that, any study you see, you're like, no, That's a bunch of people that needed $50 who said whatever they needed to say.

Oh, dude. I did a lot for depression. Oh. If you see, it would be in like something like LA Weekly. I don't know what y'all's version of that would have been like 20 years ago. New York Post or Villain News. And it will say like UCLA like are you depressed question mark? Like do you want to come being a study?

And it's like probably I don't know. But also like by the time I get to this study that's paying me $50 to take a pill that has not been approved by the FDA. Like I will be depressed. Like you get there. And they ask you questions. And the longer you stay in, the more money you get. Because it's like $50 cash. It's you and a bunch of like meth heads that are like shaking.

I mean, it's truly like drug addict. This would be a good game show. It's by the way, it's such a good idea. Yes. Yeah. This fall on NBC. Yeah. I'm so hungover.

What, what did you do last night? I had like a surprise birthday. It was, no, like last week. I was on the road and Liz, Rachel, Veter, a bunch of people just threw us. Norman sent a weird gift card. to a bar. When's your birthday? August 29th.

Oh, happy birthday. Yeah, it's, oh, it's long over. When this comes out, it'll be like two months. Is that a Leo? Virgo. Oh, I got hammered. I just got, they just kept feeding me booze. And we were at Shade, which serves Bodega Cat.

Now you got that right, Faddy. Great choice. Yeah. Yeah, good time. What was the after party? We just kept hopping into weird bars. The bars got weirder and weirders. It got later.

It was just me, DeVito, and Matt Ruby in a bar. and I remember a guy who ran the bar was just telling me stories about getting fucked up with Robert Plant and I was like I think it's too late

I think I gotta get the fuck out of here It was like 3.30 in the morning Do you know those things I don't know the brands I'm sure we've all You know Robert Plan Not actually a plant We're just

Okay sorry Not worth the interruption Oh my Bill Maher interrupting Woody Allen over here Keep going I haven't listened to that yet Oh it's worthless He talked through the whole thing

He wouldn't let Woody talk he sucks Wow Check it out I'm okay Well you know Woody's so old He's like And then when I did

Jade Scorpion He's like I love that movie Great movie Oh changed my life And then he brings it back To him And you're like

Come on Bill Yeah Woody here Have you listen to it No I have I saw the clip And I was like Oh my God

The clip's amazing Because it was just Bill Maher Being like What do you think of this movie And Woody Allen being like

Good Not great But he's going Through so many Classes It's just cool To hear Woody Allen's Of course

You know, because you never hear- podcast now to try to get a younger audience. Too soon, ye. One of the funniest things I heard was apparently Chelsea Handler was at a dinner with him and like a big party and she just said, so how'd you two meet? That's fucking hilarious.

That's great. Kathy Griffin had an amazing story as well that she should tell, I don't know if she told it somewhere on a special or something, but about when she asked Woody Allen his favorite TV show and he said, he had a Montana. He was dead serious. And I was like, that's either hilarious.

That's either hilarious. He's leaning into it. Brilliant. Really. It was like wild. Well, he got kind of cocky for a minute. I mean, some of those movies, like, they were so on the nose that you were like, I mean, husbands and wives, too, you're just like going to bang the student.

Right. Man, he's dating a 17-year-old in the movie. It was a different time. It was. It was a different. He saw women as equals. A better time. Yes.

Well, the twist of the movie is not. He's like, I shouldn't date high schoolers. He's like, I can't believe it didn't work out. That's like the same. ending he's like we could I got to grow up that chicken's on the school bus I mean I've whatever you what I just don't my thing with Woody Allen is this like glamorizing of that like men should be like it's okay for men to be scared of everything oh totally useless and worried about everything all the time never cheat I don't know about that no nebushie oh nebushie yeah but like just the idea of it's like

it's a lobster what do it's just like that is so repulsive to me yeah well he was at war China's the China's getting trying to just bought America Can everyone pull it together? Well, no one's saying he's a sex symbol he had to make a bunch of movies just to hook up with

you know, what's her face? Because Diane Keaton. No, right, right, right. Oh, that don't even. Oh, I hate that too.

It's like, she's like this idiot that can't figure out how to say goodbye. She's just like, oh, Sarol's a movie. Yeah. She's just like saying.

You know, Annie Hull is a great movie. Oh, this is a hot take. This is a hot take. I don't understand why we all. It's like, it's like, We don't all have to like it.

I think it's a great movie. Like Marilyn Monroe was smart or I'm not a feminist. Like I'm a bad person. No one said that. Okay. He's aren't all looped together. She's an idiot. I'm like forced to like and I'm like I don't.

You're not forced to like anything. We love Annie Hall. We talk about it all the time. Wasn't it supposed to be a horror movie? It was supposed to be called Anadonia. What? Pull it up. So Anadonia, you know what Anadonia is because you both have it, which is the inability

to enjoy the current moment because you're too busy morning that the moment's going to be over soon. We do have that. Yeah. So it was a really. originally going to be called Anadonia, right? Okay. I'm correct. Google's not.

And Adonio? That's the most woman answer ever. That's hilarious. Yeah, I don't know. Anadonia movie. So wasn't he originally, like, the way that he cut it? Maybe that's why. If that's not true, then I don't like it even more.

Because the reason I was giving it a pass is because I was going, oh, I heard it was originally supposed to be a horror movie and he reedited it. So he didn't even shoot it. It wasn't as funny as it should have been. Did you know that Saw was supposed to be a romcom? I'm not kidding. By the way, Saw, I mean. Saw is an incredible.

The first saw... I never saw it. It's terrifying. It's not my company. I don't like the torture porn horror genre. I like the psychological ones. And a cast and crew screening with a bunch of people who knew what was going to happen. I was screaming.

I was like, I was around the people that made it. I knew it was fake. Yeah. I knew this person was the blood guy. And I was screaming my head off. Yeah. It's scary for sure. But to me that is like when a comedian can make another comic laugh.

It's like, you know, You know this is fake and I'm still screaming. It's like, we know this didn't happen to him yesterday. Yes. You know, we know he's not dating anyone, but he's still making me laugh.

Right, right. That's the ultimate, like. Good point. So I always give Annie Hall a little bit of a pass because I'm like, oh, I thought it was edited to be a horror movie or supposed to be different. It's got some amazing scenes in it.

The therapy scene where they're both in therapy. That's a great scene. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's got some amazingly. Two white people talking about how hard their lives are because they can't love each other. It's a comedy. Well, they're trying to work it out.

That's like saying, like, we can't enjoy Seinfeld because you're like, you're complaining about mundane observations when there's a war going on in the Middle East. Like, no, it's a comedy. Why can't you enjoy a comedy? I just, um, Annie Hall, I guess for me, the stakes just feel too high for what it is. I'm, here's the thing. This is a little bit of a general reversal. When it comes to Woody Allen, I'm like, can you just calm down? Just relax.

Can you imagine if there's like a female movie star that was just like, oh, no, I can't think, oh, no, I can't be like, she would just be like, she needs to be in a mental hospital. Like, that person is mentally ill. Yeah, yeah. Like, I don't think it's funny when men are incompetent. As a person, I'm scared. I'm like, who's going to handle the meteor? Well, you'll hate us. Do you have any, are there any Woody Allen movies that you're like?

I like that one. Hugh Jasmine, but I think that, like. But she's a female train wreck. Right, totally. So train it. No. Like legitimately in an insane asylum by the end, right? But she felt like a different character that I'd seen.

And I loved it, I think, for reasons that are totally, um, uh, super subjective, which is like, I love seeing Dice be so good in it. He was good. It was great. Fucking Louie, too. Look at that. That's a great cast. He always cast incredible people. I think that's his superpower. Everybody wants to work with him. So he does address the cancel

in the pod for like two minutes. Bill Maher brings it up and he's like, yeah, I didn't care. And Bill Maher's like, come on, I had to hurt. And he was like, I made everything I wanted to make. I got in at the end. It is good to get canceled in your mid-80s. You got canceled at the end. That's the right time. Who was Morgan Freeman? Remember when they

tried to come after Morgan Freeman. Really? No. And someone was like, he's creepy. Oh, yes. He was touchy on set. Oh, he would tell people they were beautiful or something. And I worked with a makeup artist who had worked with him.

And I was like, was he, and she was like, he told us all we were beautiful. He'd be like, hey, sweetie. He'd bring flowers. And he was like, she was like, we loved it. He was such a gentleman. He was incredible. Yeah. At that age, they're not scary.

It's like, I remember they tried to cancel Stan Lee at like 95. No way. he's groping his nurse he's 95 you're not in danger right yeah like it's like bobby lee when he says he was molested by a retardate guy like do you know if the retarded guy what if he just thought it was like opening a cabinet like if he didn't even know he was molesting you yeah he thought he was petting a puppy too hard but this makes me nuts because it's like okay we talk about sexism racism but we don't talk about ageism yeah why why aren't you like you know giving the 85 year old Guy a pass.

That was, by the way, just groping a nurse is probably pretty progressive for an... Oh, this is not the way I thought you were going to go. Yeah. I'm just saying, like, when I hear that, like, a 75-year-old man said tranny, I'm like, that was for him probably, like, a big step up. Yeah, good point. He was probably trying to use... And we can't expect them to keep up with a lingo.

They can't keep up with fashion. Why would they not say color? If they do keep up with the lingo that means they're hanging out on at high school parking lots and their pedophiles, and why would they know the new lingo? Yeah, they're not on snails. It is weird. I remember hearing my grandpa once say Oriental. I didn't know.

I was like, what is that? I didn't know what that word was. I was super young. And I was like, and my mom's like, he shouldn't say that he's old. He's not racist. He's just old. He's just old.

Meanwhile, like Asian people are like, that's cool. Like what? My grandmother said colored, but she didn't, she had black friends. Now, that's a lie. She had slaves.

But nice lady, sweet lady. And now it's a person in a color. You know, it's like, oh, is it? Yeah. It's like Carlin's bit, remember, where they just keep adding, like, shell shock, post-traumatic stress disorder. They just keep adding words to it. And also who's they?

What non-binary dork? Like, it's also just like, it used to be octopus. Octopi, now it's octopuses. It changes everything. Were they getting offended? Tell me if I'm wrong. Tell me if I'm wrong. But it's just.

Wow. It's unhoused. Yeah, it just keeps going. I remember when it was Qatar, now it's Qatar. We're just evolving. Yeah. It's a cutter. You know, it's like...

You're that goth girl's at Qatar. Yeah. Yeah. Like, do you just want to correct us or is this real? What do we do? Remember Kiev is Kiev? Was that ever a thing? That was a thing.

Yeah, I got corrected on Kiev because of Ukraine. The overlords. They're all watching. They're yelling at us. We're all scared of them. It's a horrible way to live. Yeah. Oh, sorry.

Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Like, who was you so worried about? You know, we're always like, cut that out, cut that. We don't want that out there. But I'm like, who are these people that are like, I think it's the internet. It's just the comments. Like, we have to stop talking about it.

It just, it's not. What? I just, are you guys on the dead internet theory at all? No. I don't think any of it's real. Like, it's not real. Oh, really? The internet, like, do you ever notice the internet's like, my new theory?

Like, the internet, something will happen. It'll go crazy. And it's just like bots yelling at bots, yelling at. I'm literally. I think that's a lot of it. Well, I'm like, do you guys can meet us for this? It's its own self-sustaining, just like rat king. You know when rats' tails get stuck together?

Like, that's the internet. And I think it's just, it's not. Seinfeld calls it when you kick on Anhelly. It's like it's just ants running around. Then they go back in the hole eventually. It's what he calls all poor people, though. That was Tom Seguura. But also like let them have it.

Like I feel like we're the bully. Like these people that, we get to talk in microphones. People listen to us. We charge people to listen to us talk. Like we get to be heard. And someone else like, oh, no, like your term. and we're like, fuck, shut up. No one else talk.

I just try to disengage if it gets nasty because you're like, because you get like maybe two nice ones and then you look at the third one and it's like, shut up, you fucking hack and you're just like, I don't. No, I know, but that's why I just, I'm like, let me just bail.

I'll post it and I'll post and ghost. Post and ghost. I remember the first time getting a bunch of shit on Instagram and Twitter and you're like, oh man, and I went outside and I was like, here it comes. And no one knows you. The sun is shining.

The birds are chirping. And I was like, oh, yeah. It's just on here. I feel like everyone we talk to, you're like, yeah, I mean, can you believe they're like transitioning babies in utero? This is crazy. You know? And then everyone's like, and then you're like, who are all these people?

It's like, everyone does this. Where's everyone? Yeah. Where are they? It's all rage bait. I think it's, I agree with you that like, it's always the most extreme example and you're like, is this happening? But those are addicts.

Like anyone who's on the internet doing that, that's addiction, you know? So it's, that's just their addiction. Yeah, I remember seeing the news stuff. You're like, don't go to San Francisco. the whole place is on fire and you're like, shit, I'm booked there in a week and then you show up

and you're like, here we go. I remember an agent back in the day who was like, it was like when I was trying to get road weekends and you know, you're getting some but then I remember they're like, there's a fallout at a mall of America

and I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, some comic dropped out and I was like the same mall of America that Al-Shabab says they're going to shoot up this weekend and he was like, that's not a big story and I go, log on the CNN right now. It was the front page,

Al-Shababab to shoot up of America. I'm like, gee, I wonder, why he dropped out. He's like, are you gonna do it? I was like, no. Ah, well, it's still there. I know, but I was talking to Joe List about it

and he was like, if you do it and you get shot up, you're the dumbest fuck. Right, right. So just don't do it and do it another time. And I did, or I did another club there or something. Yeah. I'm sorry to do a hot take. I think it might be good for us.

What's that? Getting shot up by al-Shabaabob. Like negative, some negative feedback might be okay. Yeah, of course. I haven't like drawn this line of things. thinking out, I might pivot on it, but like, you know, before, like, when you would do like TV or whatever, you would just get like a rating that was like, here's your rating. And you'd be like, oh, we're, they love us. You know what I mean? And that's all you knew. Yeah. You didn't hear anything. You'd hear

like reviews or something. You know, and here's the best in the same amount. Um, uh, Howie Mandel came out on my podcast once and crack me up because he was like, I don't like perform me in New York City. And I'm like, why would you mean the crowds are amazing, whatever? And he was like, because like, you're at Carnegie Hall. Biggest night of your, you know, you sell out Carnegie Hall. Like your name is on the marquee at Carnegie Hall for like three months. It's like such a big deal. Then you go play, you sell it out, whatever. How many thousand seats at it? Three thousand? Four thousand. Great. And the reality is that about seven million people walked by and we're like, no, thanks. That's one way to look at it. So many people didn't come to the show. Yeah. But also it's like it's expensive. Even your own fans are like I can't. I get hit up like I can't afford it all the time, you know. And also a way to look at it is like I'm on the

billboard or whatever for Chicago theater I'm under Ringo Star that's fucking insane it's insane it's like I'm under a fucking beetle I know that's cool as hell you know my dad's friends like send him pictures of it and he sends his identity and he sent it to me and I was like

that's cool as hell so yeah that's one way to look at it but also it's like how fucking lucky are we totally that we get to do this stupid but you know some of the personalities in our business you're like I'm glad they have a couple negative comments on that you're like well who would that person be if these monsters weren't coming after him a little bit

Even talking about that, like, the fact that we don't think, like, we negative comments should exist is so, like, our job is to understand human nature. And the fact that we're still talking about this five years after negative comments are like, you know, is so bizarre to me. Like, we're so, the narcissism to believe we never deserve any negativity ever and that we don't understand human nature that like, it's high school. We're still in high school. Everyone's just trolling each other. But it's also. He came on podcast once and he was like, yeah, he's like, if I was 15 and I, like, yeah. stuff. I would, and my hero

was on Twitter. I could read. I'd be like, hey, asshole, fuck you suck. You know, it's just kind of I think it's mental illness. We have, our whole thing is like, I'm neurodivergent, I've ADD. Well, this person's addicted to trolling. Why don't you have compassion for them? It's inevitable. But also, we rate everything. Like, you, Uber,

rate it, postmates, you know, Uber, eats, whatever, you rate it. I mean, that's a big part of my new hour is ratings. Like, I went to the Anne Frank house and I was like, let me go on TripAdvisor. They're raiding Anne Frank. They're rating her house. Every where you go is rated, you know, like... Did you look up like the Zillow, like the price of the house?

With an attic. Yeah. But also like, we do it all day, every day. Like, to protect... It's so funny that we're so blindsided by the fact that people are critical or have opinions or aren't, like, universally unctuous to us. Like, I'm, like, walking down the street in New York. And I'm just like, this fucking asshole. This fucking idiot.

This shirt guy. Like, we're doing it all day every day in our heads. Of course. Of course. Well, I guess it annoys me because young people are like, compassion and be nice and, and you don't fat shame. But then they'll be like, you suck. At the end of every episode, Ellen said, be kind.

We recently went, we recently went viral for an Ellen clip because Fitzsimmons was on here. I saw it. New York Post. Brave. Brave, I saw it. Everyone's, yeah, there we go. And can I tell you something? It's the kind of thing.

This is if we want to do gender card. It had to be a guy saying it. Really? I don't you think. I don't know. I don't know. Like, he just is like calm. He was like, it didn't really bother me that.

Right. I read some of those comments And they were still pretty like You know, fuck this guy if he can't Oh really? Yeah, if he can't handle it But it's like he said he could handle it It was other people that

Right, he worked every 10 years You know what it is It's you know you're a movie guy Philadelphia story Yeah, oh classic Jimmy Stewart You know your problem right? No tolerance for human weakness And that's what we're doing

When we're mad at people They're weak, sad, scared, lonely people And we're like, fuck you guys For making comments Like you're just keep commenting For some people I mean, you worked like, I mean, you've been a boss, but you've also worked for like, you know, like Roseanne.

Was that, was she a good boss? Awesome. Come on New York Post. Like, truly awesome. It was a dream. Damn it. I just said such a great example for everybody. Just a fan of her tweets in general.

You know, I just, I think she's just like, just ahead of her time. No, I mean, it's, look, I don't want to restart anything because she'll, like, make it a whole thing. But, again, we have to have compassion for people who are. whose brains don't function. Yeah. But also I do think that that I do think fame is breaks people's brains.

Of course. Like major, major, majorly. And I think that anyone that's, we just talked about ageism and I'm not going to bully someone who, you know, like a lot of the Rosanna, it's like, yeah, well, if you live on an island alone in Hawaii and you're reading whatever you're,

of course, you know, why wouldn't this happen? Yeah. It's just total sense. Like. Of course. He's on a nut farm. Literally. I was talking to Trevor Noah once and he said how he did the White House

Correspondence dinner. and for they just would clip the parts that spoke to them so like on NBC's page it would be like here he is making fun of Trump and on Fox News they'd be like here he is shitting on Biden yeah it's like no one watched the full thing they just watch the part where they live in their record chamber once their clicks on their side yeah that's all it is

but it's kind of interesting I do hate when people go you know somebody writes a mean comment and I write like blow me and they go I thought you were a free speech guy I'm like I am that's why I'm writing blow me you know that's my free speech Yeah, I do think a lot of times people, and this is something I learned, maybe like, this is specific about what. Sometimes people are trying to be funny. Oh, of course.

And failing miserably. Of course. It does not. The same way a lot of art. You should have seen me in Oklahoma last weekend. Like a lot of our tweets or whatever don't translate written out. Yours both do very well, actually. But like sometimes theirs don't either.

You know what I mean? That's a good point. Can I hit you with a peeve actually? Because this came. Oh, I sent peeves. Oh, Whitney is such a fucking. Whitney's such a pro. You're a pro.

So I'm hitting you with a peeve real quick. I'm flying back. I was flying back from Oklahoma City, and it's one of those airports where the flights, you either get a 7 a.m. out or a 5 p.m. out. And you're like, I'm taking the 7 a.m. obviously. So I'm next to Veter. Like, let's just try to doze off on the flight.

There's a guy behind me. His kids playing a video game. This is the peeve. No headphones. Oh, of course. Just use the headphones. That's not a peeve. So loud.

It's so loud. So I turn around. and I'm politely said, do you mind just, like, headphones? And he goes, she's a baby. And I go, yeah, but you're not. You could do, you can adjust the microphone. Yeah, just turn it down. But I'm like, he was like, oh, and he's like,

wanting to get headphones. And I'm like, I do. And I still hear your dumb game. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, walk me through. So how old was the kid? Very young. But playing a video game, I'm like, she doesn't know if the sound doesn't matter.

It drives me nuts. Here's my peeve about your peeve. Uh-oh, here we go. But if you, if that person are just gone, I know, I'm like, you would have been like, it's fine. Well, here's the other thing. If it's out of your control, it's out of your control, too. We're like, the baby screamed the whole flight and I don't care because it's, that's how I get boners. Because it turned me on and I got off.

No, I. What are you, Alan? No, but, no, but I understand you have a baby on a flight. They're going to cry. It's, it can be tough. Also, where are you going? Yeah. You knew a baby was coming for about a year and a half.

Like, where does your baby have to be? But, you know, no, but that's, I'm fine with that. And he, even a couple times, like, he's, like, trying to quiet. And, like, I get it. You're, you're doing your best. But, but the noise from the machines is my peeve. That's controllable. That's controlled.

The baby is not. The baby's not. Right. That's fair. It's a fair. And, by the way, your baby is a maniac because you let it on these machines. That's the other thing. It's also, you know what I mean?

That's the other thing. Yeah. Do this at home, too. You're not just doing this to placate the kid on the plane. Right. So you're not a screen. baby lady it's just like you're training a kid to be addicted you're giving a kid a drug that they're always going to need yeah yeah when you actually need it to work it's not going to work i think like

the best reason and not you screens besides all the you know billion like you know uh neurological reasons is that when you actually need it to placate a situation it's not going to matter right you don't have that like trump card you know but i don't do screens uh yeah we do do youtube videos of monster truck rallies and that's pretty shit and garbage that's his favorite yeah yeah oh that's fun so he's not gay that's a good peeve that's a good peeve i also like i don't know if you guys have this like deep like pugnacious nature that you kind of never really get to act upon because we're not allowed but when they're like if there's a dog in a hot car i'm like let's go like half field and mccoy like oh the karen pipes up when it's actually justified when it's actually like a fight that someone needs

It's like, I get so excited. Like when there was a draft in Malibu, I was like, oh, there's something justified, and you're not being a character. Yes, no, you're not. So there was a guy, this was on a plane out and where I was going, and a guy got a FaceTime call. Ooh, here we go. Hello? And the whole race. Because that factors in.

I don't know. You don't know. I might know, but not enough to be able to defend whatever you're about to do. Okay. Because I slide out of frame. Got it. And I think it was actually like Jersey Italian. All right.

That's white. Honestly, it was Jersey Italian. Thank God. Thank God. That could have gotten ugly. Exactly. And it was like, hello. And the whole. And I was like, I got it.

Like, please let me, like, please let me do it. Like, I never get to do that. Mark, Mark literally laughs. I'm super comfortable with confrontation and he's not. We made it a part of a movie we wrote. We're like, yeah. He can't do it. Yeah.

I had so many movie ideas. I picture myself losing if I confront the guy. Well, if you do it politely, then they're in the, I mean, I mean, You don't do it to, like, pick a battle. You do it just be like, hey, like, we're a society. Right. You have to be a civilized member of the society. That's true.

So what happened? Did he cut in the head? No, no, no. But I just love being like, I volunteer his tribute. Yeah. Everyone in that moment is like they become like whatever childhood they had. Yes, yes. Who's fight, who's flight, who's freeze?

And I always fight. Oh, wow. Dan. And did he shut it down? I, oh, yeah. Okay, because those are telling us. How do you say it? I'm the person who, like, if someone brings out perfume on a plane, I'm like, oh, excuse me, ma'am.

People get migraines. Like, the answer is no. Wow. Yeah. I'm impressed. My thing is, I don't really say much. I think you just go like, you have to just mean it and you just wait. You have to just wait there and stare at them until they stop.

This should be a service. I should be able to, like, call you. Do it? Like a task rabbit? Yes. Grab it. I wanted to do a, um, because. It's four minutes away.

Exactly. Exactly. And I was going to say like TISCrabbit, which is not at all. Funny but more Closer to the word Yeah Exactly as comics You're like it's close to the word

Yeah it's funny Better So many people I want to just like solve All the things So many people are complaining about Like the other thing I feel like everyone's complaining

It's like everyone's listening To my taking my data Listened my phone's listening Yeah Taking my information It is listening I know but I was like dude I don't know why everyone's so confused about this

Like you just throw it off Feed it data Do you know what I'm saying You just lie in everyday interactions Every day I'm like so like is it possible to you too much kale like I'm about to go for a jog if it's our great point do you know so I was like what about starting a business where people will just talk around your phone while you're doing something to just throw off your bad

behavior what's upsetting you is is it the ads of the fact they know you know they're listening you know they're listening it's ominous I think real people scary if I don't know correct me if I'm wrong I know you guys will which is like I think it's more about your buying habits and the things you do affecting, like, your ability to get health insurance and stuff like that. Whoa. Like, they can tell if you have a drinking problem by, like, how you. They say, and they know it knows you're gay before you do. That's true.

Pregnant, all that. Damn. Yeah. I take my wife's phone when she's in the shower and I go, fake dits, fake tits. Just to really get that ad going on. They know if we have a drinking problem, our podcast is called we might be drunk. Yeah, that's true. You guys might have a problem.

We sell whiskey. No, but they can like if you're using a mouse, like older men and women when they use mice. Oh my God. This is so fun. that I'm paraphrasing something in a way where the words aren't used. Like a mouse is more than one mouse for a computer called mice? Well, it's never more than one. You would say the mouses.

Yeah, the mouse. I've never said plural. Yeah, I don't know. It's the first time I've ever said more than one mouse. Mouses. Yeah. That they can tell if you have on set like Parkinson's drinking problem and they can drive your insurance up. Yeah, because they can see.

Do you know that they're just trying to pass this law in California? California now that it's the first law they've ever had that Uber is no longer allowed to charge you more because they know your phone has low battery Wow! That's a new law. Yes. Holy There was at one time they did the price gouging during a mass shooting.

They can That's crazy. Because it's just because it's like a weird I don't know what the word, algorithm is the word but some weird like, you know, robotic thing And they're like, oh, no, everyone wants it right now. More demand. Oh, well, more demand.

Yeah. But it's like if your battery is low, they know you're just going to accept any fair because you don't have that. Wow. That's genius. I didn't know they were able to do that. I didn't either. No one makes money doing the right thing. You can't make.

How else would they make money? Damn. If it was fair. Yeah. Holy. Anyway, we'll be in Saudi Arabia in a couple weeks. As will I. Are you getting shit?

I don't get. No, what? Oh, I guess you're not looking. Yeah, it's all bots. I think. I think if you're a woman working in Saudi Arabia, it's so deeply unfair that I will be forced to work when I'm there and read things and read a schedule. Good point.

You want to have to drive. Yeah, I was going to say, at least they'll have a driver for me. Yeah. I don't care. Like, I don't. Are you on the road really hard right now? I know Tim, I was talking about how he was getting shit about going over there. Yeah, well, he's just embraced.

Like, I'm embracing the regime. I'm all for it. I say, let's do it. Do you think you guys get more of this because you were respond to it I wouldn't probably or like talk about how it annoys you yeah maybe because then they're like we're getting to them yeah I think it's their way of like communicating 100% something um am I on the road like yeah I'm on the road up yeah I just took like summers I've just started kind of taking down yeah I'll do a few but it's like July and August I did the great outdoors

like the Canada shows which I did those those are awesome I love those but I think just like going to it's just everyone's hot it's just like yeah I just like think it's more fun to kind of like you in the fall. Also, you go to like a buffalo is a great comedy town, but in the summer they're like, we have two seconds of sun. I know. I'm going to spend it on your dumb zingers. Serial. What's the cereal plant that's right there?

General Mills. I think it's General Mills plant is right there. It's just like, but what are your other pet peeves? Oh, wait, I got one. You know I love structure. And then you have some. Okay. This one's going to be mean. So buckle up. Because I feel guilty, but it's

the truth. It hurts. Palestine. kids are dumb. Yeah, it's all fake. But I had a flight. I got bumped up to first class. Very exciting. Now, I'm in the window seat. It's the two seats. First class, cushy, big armrest, big console in the middle, nice seats. I get up, the lady goes, you can move on up, sir, to one B. I'm like, ooh, I got the window, first class, first row. I get up there, the fattest man on the planet. I knew this was going to be a fat one. When Mark said this is going to be mean

I knew it was going to be a fat thing And I feel about fat The same way I feel about smoking Do whatever the hell you want with your body But when it's affecting me Now we got a problem This is secondhand fat So he's got

So this is We have similar issues Both a flight issues Both an issue where we're affected And he can control how much he eats See why do we hate billionaires so much We should also hate the obese Wait why are you running away for this one

Because she's fat I didn't know, because I didn't want the chips to make noise. Oh, what a pro, huh? I really needed some chips. Oh, so did he, because this guy was a mess. Was he eating on the flight? He didn't stop eating from the moment we took off, and it was so sad because he's got the fat coming out here, so his arm has to sit on the fat. So, now his arm is on my shoulder because he's so fat.

So this is like, it's like, beyond obese, yeah. Isn't there something about, like, that level of obesity that it's like, I don't want to say not a choice, but like, it's something. dark is going on. Oh, completely, completely. That's why I feel bad. But again, we hate the billionaires because they don't need all that. I'm like, he doesn't need all that. He doesn't eat a gummy bear every second. I know, but a billionaire has a lot of advantages. Being that fat

sucks. I know, but then why do it? I don't think it's a disease. I think it's hard to quit. Also, some of it is about getting abused as a kid, making yourself unattractive and unmolestable. Or something. Did you try to fuck him?

Like alexjones.comscience.net. I believe that's where I learned that. My wife wasn't abused. But it was huge. And then the lady comes by and goes, we have a meal option. And it was early flight. So she goes, we have a frittata. We have a granola with yogurt. And we have French toast drizzled with honey and syrup. And he goes, I'll take the French toast. And I'm like, come on man. You need the fattest meal with all the sugar and the carbs and

everything? Where do we land on, like, I guess women, like the body positivity? Did that ever know? That's a hoax. That's a hoax. No, no, clearly. But did men even get any benefit in that or no? Yeah, we got the dad bods for a while. That's right. That's right.

That's still a thing. That's not a thing. And it's like cute. And by the way, they post pictures of like Jason Mamoa. And I'm like, he's literally an action star. Right. Not working out for like a week and a half. Yes.

It's not a dad bot. He looks amazing. My guy is like burly like that and I love it. It's not like a belly, but it's like he's like not abs. Beefy. I don't like abs. Beefy. Uh-huh.

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just a standard dude he just looks good but here's it like women like if i sit next to it on a plane a girl who's like really really thin like i know like i know like if i see a like i know like if i look at a what i see do guys don't you know that's why i'm not waiting what do you mean what do you mean don't you kind of know psychologically what's going on with this man if you were really to just go like what's what's up with no we don't think we're not as tuned in as a lady no he's literally just annoyed that he has to share room yeah and then here's the worst part to go pee he had to do this one This is when you know you're 8 million pounds.

Oh, that's such a bum. He had to like propel himself. But that was incredibly athletic. Thank you. I've never seen you do an act after. That was that, by the way. I've never seen Mike. Actually, that should be your thing.

I studied it. I was like obsessed with this band. Maybe quit leaning on a wall. Mark's studying him. He's going to be in a whale like Brendan Fraser movie. Mark is, Mark's just like, and the Oscars were best. actor at Marco. He's prepared to do stand-up in L.A. once.

You know what's funny about the whale is you're not supposed to play a gay character if you're not gay, unless you're 9 million pounds. Because he was gay in that movie. They were just, by the way, I always have an issue with movies. You guys, all actors are gay. What are you? I know, but those aren't, when you're, it's like not even based on a real story and you're like, let's just give this guy the worst life of all time.

It's like, what screenwriter is just like, who's going to be 900 pounds? Yeah. His daughter hates him, right? That's the whale? Yeah. I didn't even see it because I'm like I don't want it like nothing about this is like this is going to be a good time. Don't you think he should play Rodney Dangerfield? Oh yeah, I can see it.

This guy is not as the whale. Yeah, yeah, but that face. Rodney Dangerfield is a fat gay guy. I'll tell you, I can't move in this chair. I've never been this fed my life. No one will fuck me. I can't see my dick. I can't get no prep. I don't know the, yeah. I don't know

the logic on that. The fat. Yeah. Yeah, it was crazy. When you see people that are like, you know, sometimes and you're like, oh, they want to lose. Or you see them what or a diet. Or you're like there. But when you see people that have committed to it.

Yeah. Like they've got the fanny, they've got the, they're like, this is me forever. Yes. Yes. Mentality. 100%. I think everyone's got their vice. And I think for certain people, like food is an addiction and obesity is a disease the way alcoholism or gambling is a disease.

I think like gambling, you don't see people. It doesn't show in your body. Unless you get your legs broken But it doesn't show in your body But like food is it is Oh I used to have serious like Overeating stuff Really

And for me it was like It's a control thing And it's an I for me it was an isolation thing Like I would binge but I wouldn't throw up Like I would eat a lot And make myself like sick And then like cancel whatever Like if I had a plan

And then I like can't have to cancel it It was like it was like a social anxiety thing That's dark What's your thing now do you think That's a great question Bropoval? Because I love that your joke is still. The person that does the most drugs

is go-to punchline is Whitney and her drugs. I do love drugs. Do not do a lot of pills? No, I'm sober. I'm sober. I'm sober. I'm sober. I'm sober.

I'm sober for three years, yeah. It's not like a, it was, look, the pandemic was like, you know. What made you just be like, I'm going to be sober? Well, I never did drugs or anything before the pandemic. And then everyone's, like, doing edibles. And truly, every comic in L.A. like in their pocket they have like um like a like a zip lock bag of of a brownie that is wrapped in a rapper from like the same guys that made like the five hour energy drink logo

it's like there's just like red and there's like planets on it and they're like and it's medicine though but it's medicine medicine so then i was like oh yeah like everyone thinks i'm so like manic and work too hard and all the stuff and i'm like i should like chill out right i should like smoke weed like oh you guys smoke weed and do mushrooms and that was like doubled down on me being Like that did not chill me out The LA scene will peer press you in the wheat I've done shows how many shows the store of you popped in on But you're healing

It's all Tuesday night at midnight you are healed This cocaine is pure You've done those shows where like there's like 40 gift bags Of just weed I'm like I mean I feel weird I'm weird not taking it Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Like do I know any potas I can just give it to me Oh you're toxic you don't want to heal

Like you're not chill like you're such a workaholic You want it is weird and I think I was just so like Oh I think I work too hard Well my parents are dying like I should do this And then there was a window where edibles did help me with sleep. Yeah, they weren't with sleep. And then my whole thing was like, I'm not addicted to wheat. I'm addicted to sleep.

You know? And then they got way too strong and way too unpredictable. And like one day it'd be great. Two days later, it would hit you like so hard. Yes. And I went to like, what are all these texts? Like why? Oh.

Like, why did I schedule a call with the maritime lawyer trying to figure out where the Scientology ships are? Like, it was like that. And so I'm just too. Manic, I think. Yeah, yeah, that's the worst. And I think that when you're like us, you can, you guys really are able to like be fun. I think for me, I just did too many podcasts for four hours where I was just like, blah, like. Yeah.

But it also stayed with a lot of times when I did that. I think you were actually on one that it was like me, you and Janus or something. Yes. And I hadn't. If you take an edible the day before, you're still just weird. That's why I hate them because you're in your bloodstream. And I had gone off Prozac. And Prozac is that's my 15 milligrams Prozac.

Did that help a lot? I just do that to just close the loop on my, like, an obsessive brain. Uh-huh. Well, do you think you have a vice? Like, even like maybe working out as a vice for you. I don't know. I definitely have, yeah, that. What's your, what yours?

Would you say drinking? Probably. Yeah, definitely. I think overcommitting myself to things is definitely, like, I think the vice would be like it makes your life unmanageable or it's like a bad thing, right? Yes. I think it's, it would be that. I'll over-commit to things.

Like, I'll be like, yeah, I'm going to do this show for Skyler Stone and Long Beach next week. I do the same thing. I'm not going to this show. I know. We all know I'm not going. He told me you were going. That's where I did it. What the hell?

I'm can't. Like, this is, I think once you're like, vices get dorkier, it's like that. Right. And then it's like, I start feeling this adrenaline and shame. And then I'm like, I'm not going to cancel. You know, I'll do it. I'll just, I'll do it. That's another.

That's another peeve is people not taking no for an answer. Like, I feel like part of the reason you, you do that is because maybe this person's asked you to do it 12 times. And you're like, it's jury duty. We're not doing jury duty stand up. I had a guy hit me up. I'm doing Vegas in September. And he was like, I like the guy a lot too. But he was like, let's go see David Blaine before.

And he goes, I'll bring you backstage. You'll meet him. I go, I'm good. I want to like be ready for the show. And he's like, oh, come on. It's David Blaine. You got to go. And I'm like, I wrote, all right, maybe.

I'm still going to say no. I'm just trying to stop the negotiation. How come when a guy does this with the girl with sex, it's illegal. Oh, hey. But if I'm making you meet a magician, that's so much worse. That's super good. You know what I mean? You want to meet a magician?

Yeah, I'll make you. David Blaine. Come on. Suck my cock. No. No means no. Come on. Why can you suck my cock?

All right, maybe. This is the whole thing when everyone was like, like, like, Louis C.K. is like doing whatever he's doing in offices. I'm like a comic in Pensac. The laughing skull just. Asked me to do a free show four times in a row. Shouldn't we cancel them? Yeah, right.

Shouldn't I cancel Steve Hofstetter for all these emails? Right. At least a jerk off ends. Yeah, exactly. There's a finish to it. And so, yeah, so for me, I think it's a little bit of like that, like shame hit, that adrenaline hit. And then I'm like, oh, I'm going to just spend the day a long beach.

Like, I should go there and shoot some content. It's like the, it's all the same thing, the delusional, you know, kind of thing. But I really don't, I'm sure there is. That's a good one. That's a good one. I got to say I am a little bit. I don't think I have like the shopping thing because I buy like vintage stuff

but I'm a little bit it may be having a kid is because every drug like you can talk yourself into anything it's like people are like no red wine's good for it's healthy we'll always find a thing I heard Andrew Huberman on on Bill Maher being like

I heard him being like two drinks two drinks a week max yeah oh no he's like that's the math two drinks a week max I'm like killing every guy's roofie game This is the second one this week, though But she needs a drink, not you technically

But my new thing is like I have to go on eBay and find the monster truck The Gravedigger that's green Because I already have two and what if he loses them So it might be like hoarding Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get you I'm like buy like collect You're a hordeur a little bit? No, I think I'm just like

But your place, I've seen your place It's like it seems so neat Pristine yeah oh yeah no I think that when you're a hoarder And you're if you organize them well it's a collection. That's like the work. It's like a Samaier. It's like I'm not an alcoholic.

That's like a Dimitri Martin joke. Yeah. I like that. That was a good. I like that. It's great. It's kind of it. But yeah, so it's like that.

And so I'm using my child to feed my adrenaline addiction of like ordering. But overcommitting is also, I think, a sign of someone who's like a workaholic. People please. But also like you can't stop working. Definitely. Like, because you do seem like you work nonstop. That's really interesting. Like people say that about me.

Like I think. Yeah, I don't know how to answer that, except the trick about workaholism is oftentimes you're actually not getting anything done. You conflate busyness with actual productivity. That's big. Which is why we have a typewriter bond over here, which is like last night I left my. Okay, so I take cabs. That's my kink. Maybe this is my vibe.

Over Uber's you mean? I take cabs. Oh, me too. I love, okay, I love cab. I've taken Uber's, but like it's only in like a must-do situation. I prefer the cab. Dude, I divide people in who takes caps and who doesn't because I can only really attune to people to take cap. People that don't take caps, like don't know what's going on in the world.

But they're not everywhere. Are you talking about New York? Anytime I go to a city, I try to. You call the company. Nope, you just go out the airport. Usually there's a cab right there. It's the fastest. Like, no one's giving it.

This is where I get my news. Mikey's been with me where I'm like, where are you from? I'm like, what's going on? Can you tell me? Because this is what I've heard. And he's like, what? Like, you've got a white cab driver? Get the hell out of here.

Are you great? Come on. When you have boots on the ground, I'm like, where are you from? If I get a female cab driver, what's going on with Roe v. Way? What's happening in there? Why do you think I'm driving this cab? And so last night I get in, get this cab, and give him cash. Because I'm like, out of credit card, you know, taste whatever.

It takes whatever. I can tip them, whatever drops me off. I get inside where I am, and I'm like, left my laptop in that cab. Left my laptop. That's brutal. Uber, you could attract it. Uber, I could just. And if I paid by credit card, I could have gotten the phone number of.

So I'm just like, just total raw dog. All I have is find my iPhone. That's brutal. I have to find my device. Okay, okay. That's something. So it says it's like near Madison Square Garden. I'm like, great.

So I get in another cab. I'm chasing the, the find my, whatever. And I'm like, no, I'm like, did you, do you drive me or do me? Anything? Like, just. And I was like, this is addiction. This is so, it was like midnight. And then I'm on, uh, this.

street between like a bodega and something else and it said it's right here yeah which means it might have just been last open there there's a backpack on the street okay there's like all kinds of crazy character down i was like open the backpack i'm looking in it i was like i could literally get murdered right this is the most drug addict yeah all these drug addicts sitting around and i'm the one's oh wow there's the thing i can easily replace and back up remotely at any point like i don't need this right now and i was like this is really dark and dark and i'm dark and i'm I just was like, you know what, you can have it. Whoever wants it, take it.

If he got good for him, he'll go sell it, whatever. Sure, sure. And then I got home and I was like, I felt so liberated. I was like, oh my God, I'm like writing a notebook. Yeah. Because so much, many times I'm on my computer and I'm like, the eye message and I'm like, I need to Google this for a joke to see what Bernie Man really looks like to write because I can't write this joke unless I read this subject about, like nonsense, delusion. Jokes aren't actually getting written scripts actually aren't going to write. So I'm like, I'm going to write a notebook.

This is going to be so good. No distraction. I wake up this morning. She's like, hey, they dropped off for your laptop. I was like, shit. I'm so pissed. And like the idea that this cab driver was like,

I don't want this thing like tracks your data. Like I don't want to like, what a sweet guy. How do he find it? They don't even want it anymore. Well, he knew where he dropped me off. Oh, that's just dropped like at the front test.

Oh, my God. That's a great guy. But they don't steal. I'm like, you're not even going to steal this. Yeah. You sound like you have bad ADD. It sounds like you're like, do you take anything for ADD? I'm not the person for,

I don't really believe that. Really? Oh, you haven't talked to you. You haven't been interesting to me. Oh, shit. No, I don't not believe it. Free speech. Free speech.

It's like ADDOC, all this stuff is like, I think it was all really useful to us like a thousand years ago. And now we're all just like, you know. Interesting. We're living in an environment. We're living in a bit. You know, we're overstimulated, you know. It's like there's cheese in our crust. Yeah.

Everything, you know, that bit where he's like, everything, you know, PSP, all this stuff. Your kid's not, he doesn't have ADD, he's paying attention. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bit. Yeah, well, also as a parent. I butcher it, but look up Nick Griffin's way that says. Everything that used to feel like hypervigilance and ADD for me, like comes in so handy now that I have a kid. Because I'm like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Like, he's never, not one problem. Has to hit his head on one corner. I refuse to baby proof out. So, I think that table's too heavy. It was too expensive. You're going to have to just walk around it. I like it. But, like, it's all the things that made me used to think I was crazy, like, I'll just like, like, it's become superpowers when you have a...

That's great. I mean, that's when you need it. I think all the things that are so crazy about women, once they have a kid, you're like, oh, thank God you're that nuts. Yeah, yeah, well, it's like autism. Like, oh, you're autistic, and I'm like, well, that's why I know every capital, too. Yeah, yeah. So there are upsides to it. Like, I don't, I have yet to, like, I was diagnosed with autism.

I beat it. All right, I got a weird one. Okay. They're talking about vices and weird vices. I'll do a thing while I'll hear something. Like I heard, you've got to put a spoonful of salt in your water every morning. Is it, like, get your blood flow. Can we look that up? Is that good?

And I bought this, like, crazy Himalayan sea salt, and I would put in the water, and I was, it, like, hurt me. I almost had to go to the hospital because I had just, I was dehydrated. I was eating so much salt. But I bought it. Were you not doing it right? Can I bum you out? It was one of these Huberman things. I do think.

There we go. Helps replenish the lost electrolytes. Sure. Which this study is paid for by. what hydrate the little powder salt patches. Yeah. It's like it tastes pretty good. I don't mind them. The thing is I think that is it Himalayan or

Himalayan, I don't know. It's Himalayan, right? Someone I did say one time the Himalayan sea salt and the person went Hamalian sea salt coming right. Like instant correction. It sucks when someone points out something so obvious. Oh, when you're like Caribbean and like I love the Caribbean. Yes. You could have just said it the way I said it. Like mirror

neurons, anything. But Gary Brecker talks about how he's good. Actually only Celtic salt doesn't have because that salt is from the water that's full of mercury. Well, you've seen the people who go to the beach and they fill it up with water the water from the beach and then they

put it in a pan and they cook it and they're like salt and you're like, that's not how you're supposed to do it. I've never heard of that. Wow. But wait, so it hurt. Oh. So yeah, so another thing I did was I heard that banana peels are good for like your yard. So every day I would just throw out a big patch of dirt in my front

yard and I would just throw banana peels in it. And my wife was like, we have 38 dead banana peels sitting on dirt. What are you doing? I'm like, I heard it's good for the soil. And she's like, yeah, you got to dig in and put the banana peel or cut them up. I take back what I said about autism.

You are autism in a way that is that Rick Glassman pretends to be. No, Rick is fucking autistic. No, but Rick is certainly autistic. It's funny because putting the salt in every morning, it is funny because it would be like, or don't drink at like noon.

Oh, yeah, yeah, right. The things we do to like whack You know? So true. I was thinking when I hear these studies, like, don't, you know, you don't only have two drinks a week. I'm like, oh, I get sunlight and I go to the gym. But how else am I going to get water? Yeah. Yeah.

It's a vodka and Coke. And I remember one time I did have a therapist say, like, smoking might be good for you every now and then because at least you'll be taking deep breaths. That's a bit. That's great. That's David Tell's doctor? That's the only way to like, so like drinking might be good for you because you'll be making less. Well, Guinness is supposed to be. I look that up too.

really because when I had a baby nurse she said this is like facts for dumb asses to help with you meet a podcast comedians giving health advice it's all bad shit crazy I heard I heard it tells trainer he saw this trainer for kettlebells and he sees this one trainer because the guy lets him smoke during sessions wow which is amazing also though if we're alive take advice from us like yeah you know what I'm saying if we've managed to survive our lifestyle and what we're doing Mark's drinking in the afternoon, and I'm, I barely made it here from a hangover. All right. And you beat us, sadly.

Okay, can you get, here's my pet peeve. Your producer putting up my bio on a screen. Well, she's got to leave in 15. I have 15 minutes. I have 15 minutes. I want to hear. Because I go out of the Eagles game. Oh, hell yeah.

Winnie's a football fan. Peaves. Okay, my peeves, I did send them in, oh, where should I start? Okay, well, we kind of talked about this a little bit. Being negative about things that dumb people like. Oh. Like Labibos, why can't they just have their little... What's a Labubo?

They're like the little stuff things, right? Oh, like a beanie baby? Why is like, why can't they just have it? Are people trash them because are they super expensive? Is that why they're getting trash? It's like a, it's like a beanie baby. Yeah. It's like another one of these sort of like hype things that gives you cloud if you have one

and you can post it on your thing and it makes you feel special. And you know, it's obviously, you know, like this, it's a trauma response to something. Sure. But people like collect them and I'm kind of like, good for you. Yeah. Let's get a Labibu in studio. By the way, it's actually... I kind of want a Labibu in here.

It's better than Honeybubu. It's like so off-brand and random. That's kind of fun. Seven grand. Yeah, oh, it's a whole thing. Wow. It's like Never Tulamia. It's like that.

It's like a bubble. It's got a fake Labibu in here. You know, but everyone's like, it's the end of society because adults are collecting Labibu's. It's like, this actually might be the thing that holds the most value. It's like when I see a super rich guy, be like, like,

Jake Paul or someone wearing a Pokemon card around his neck. Oh, yeah. What are you doing? That's weird. You're so rich. That's weird. Why? It's a flex, because that's probably like a $10 million car or something.

It's just like you could, I guess he has bought everything else. I guess you're that rich. You're just bored and you're like, I'll just get whatever weird thing. Yeah. Well, this is actually the weirdest, like, thing about Ellen that I had no. When you went to Allen's like studio or, but more time I like hosted it and there was like in her office, she had a vintage fencing costume from like the 1600s. interns with it.

But it was like, God knows how much it costs. Like, it was like some southern, and you're just like, what's, is this just like, like, what is that? You know what I'm saying? All these people that are making like five grand a week or whatever working. They're just like, this is, like,

you just have so much money. Yeah. Is this money? Like, you could have gotten a fake one too. Ordin had nothing in this corner. Dude, I don't put it at your house. I love the scene in, uh, in Ted, where Joel McHale's character is just showing off his wealth.

And he's doing all these paintings. And then he gets to one and he goes, that's Lance Armstrong's, nut bronze. That's his flat. For some reason that just

hit me so hot. I think true wealth now is buying something that you don't even want just so someone else can't have it.

Damn. It's that's LeBububo's too. It's like I don't even want this but I don't want you to have it. I got your insulin

bitch. That's it. That's like Ellen, I feel like she was just like I don't even want this but like I don't want someone

else to get it. Like that's the thing. Farmer bro AIDS medication. Or there's just like a power move to your employees to be like this is from the 16,

Yeah. And I think this is more valuable than your time. Yes, exactly. This is just like some guy's outfits that's still dirty or something. But, um, but yeah. It's a weird thing to be, because it's one thing to be interested in history, but that's such a random thing to want. I think it's just like, I want it.

Right. I've been just throwing my office. Yeah. Yeah. I think Seinfeld has that with the cars, too, a little bit. Like, I need all these cars. I get cars now, though. I love cars, too.

Are you a big car person? I get cars now. So, um, first of all, with the post. Pokemon thing and all that stuff. I used to, like, that used to drive me nuts. I'm working on a bit about it. Also, this is another pet people. Why can't comedians just say something

without giving context of if they've talked about it before? And if we're working on it, but we just talked about this the other day in the parking lot, remember? No one cares. Like we had, like, Jordan Jets and I just tried to get through a podcast where we didn't say, like, we were talking about this earlier about,

like, we don't want to get busted. Right. Like saying the same thing twice or something. Yeah. But that guys like collecting toys now, it's like every guy's have like a mark Marvel, like you're 40, like, why do you have the Pokemon, whatever? But now that I have a son, it's like the main, it's like you have what Pokemon card?

Oh, how many lightsabers do you have? Whitney's a fun mom. Yeah, I would do. Thank God, because my guy, the biggest red flag is he's a whole thing of Zelda stuff. Uh-huh. Ninja turtles. He has a giant teenage mutant ninja turtle tattoo. Yeah.

And every time I'm like, why are you in pants? Put your shorts on. Henry's coming down. Where's your ninja turtle tattoo? it's like everything that sucked now that I have a son is like but cars getting into monster trucks like has really like I have one vintage car silver auto 81 um and I like can we pull that up I love trucks like I love oh really interesting I'm not a vintage like uh sports car guy I don't know anything about them but I think it's just more like nostalgic I think growing up I probably

had some kind of like that was the first yeah that's pretty cool mine's like a mine's like a brown oh they do you feel like it's safe to drive or is it kind of just to have um I don't I live I live in California, everyone's on drugs. It's not safe to drive anything anywhere. But yeah, it is kind of like that one on the farm. Damn. Yeah, it's so good. So good.

That's a cool looking car. I just, I don't know. There's something like sexy about it to me. So I just like, even having it in the driveway, like, like, putting stuff in the back, like, and making a little Ford out of it for him. Like, it's just. Have you seen this basketball player? Look up Devin Booker's car collection because he's got some crazy.

Do you have a car in New York? I do. I got a 1973 BMW 02. Whoa. And no one wants to get in it because it has no seat. I haven't I haven't insured it no airbags nothing okay but it's a great car that's sick are you gonna restore it it's already restored already did it get it functioning it's fun it works but you can't is it illegal to not have seatbelts of course oh okay got it yeah but I still I'm riding dirty

okay but it's what would you get fined oh yeah I would go to jail that's a cool car right wow Jesus it's a 50s bell air so yeah I'm kind of like it's just one of those things I think that as you like get older and have less vices. You're like, I like excellence in it. I like excellence. Like I like something. It is like clearly like I went to NASCAR. I got to wave in the flag at NASCAR. It was a pretty big deal. It was actually kind of a weird like career high. It was like I was pretty psyched. But I'm obsessed with the crew pits. Like how they. Dude, it actually gives me goosebumps. Like seeing men actually be useful. This is when you've been in LA for too long that you masturbate to.

They're so quick though. Yeah. And the way that they do it. Like, I just love sort of, uh, aw, me and my guy. That's a nice pick. How cute. Is that what you wore to do the flag? Come on. Well, yeah, I wore like a jean dress. Like Jay Leno.

You got, you gotta get a skimpy skirt. I think car people like denim. I think that's what we're finding out. I guess so. Sidney, sweetie. Um, yeah, it was really cool. Oh, that's fun. It was so sick.

Wow. You see that Drusky thing where he did white face at a NASCAR? No. Oh, my God. It's unbelievable. Is it funny? Yeah, it's so funny. Yeah, it's like the Eddie Murphy thing.

Remember when Eddie Murphy, that was such a classic SNL sketch when Eddie Murphy goes He goes undercover as a white guy And the last black guy gets off the bus And they start giving out cocktails to everybody Yeah, yeah And everywhere goes, they're like, you can have it You're one of us

Oh wow Look at that, I mean look at the makeup job He got all the way white-bodied And then he just had fun with the white brethren Yeah, I do think NASCAR's kind of fascinating Because it's like what are we watching? Like what are you actually watching? Are you an F1 person?

You know what? Not as much. It's a little elitist for me. Yeah. But I'm sure it's cool. I don't know much about it. I just watched the movie with Brad Pitt. It's good, but it's like two hours and 40 minutes. It's like there's no reason. There's no reason a fucking. Yeah, why are movies getting longer? A blockbuster summer type movie should be, it should be like an hour 40. I think movies are like for planes.

But it was, it looked gorgeous. And, and he's amazing. He's always amazing. And it's, it is fun as hell in parts. But like, why is it two hours and 40 minutes? What are you? Are you, are we kind of. waiting for a crash. Of course. That's what's crazy about it. You're like, I hope it doesn't happen. But if it happens,

be cool if I was here. Yeah. I don't want it to, I'm not wish it. It's like that. It's like in hockey when you're kind of like, I wouldn't freak out if there was a fight.

Of course. Well, fights are fun as hell. You know. But then there's this. You're kind of, it's boring, except for you know someone could die. Until a good year

bounces into the crowd and hits a lady right in their one tooth. Which has happened Pull that up Like the one that I went to It was in Phoenix I couldn't make Daytona last year But like immediately

There was a little bit of a like Guy hit the side And it gets so quiet Oh yeah So quiet And everyone's just like It's kind of like It's kind of like our gladiators

In a way It's like Same with UFC So is UFC UFC UFC I like that's why I like monster trucks I like WWE

I like oh You like WWE? Love I love knowing that someone's not actually going to get hurt. I know all these guys do get hurt in ways, you know, but like... No, they don't age well. Yeah. No. But I think there's

something... It is like... God. They have a big persona. They had to do the years of grinding and these shit gyms. I like, we're here to make you laugh. Like, I mean, I'm just at Monster Trucks and I'm... It's a show. I'm always fascinated by what makes comedians laugh because we're, you know? Oh, yeah. And, like, Monster Trucks, I was dying,

because it was so silly. And there was something, I think that, like, it used to be, like, edginess was, like, sex. And that's all Anyone talk about it? Like, I think there's something kind of like punk rock about being like wholesome. Sure. Just being like fun and goofy. Oh, Nate Burgatzi's like the clash now.

He's religious, you know, he's not political. Yeah. It's just clean. You're like he had the balls to say he believes in God. I know. It's crazy. It's like mega death. You love your wife.

Whoa. Can you say that? You need to cancel. So, yeah, that's. We want action. I mean, you don't watch cops for the, the traffic tickets. You know, you want crack up the ass. You want a.

black guy getting stomped out you want you want action that would be hilarious cops if it was just like just the most misdemeanor just the most minor shit like we pulled you over but we're gonna let you off this time yeah exactly that would be funny i think you add this sort of is a good segue into your um you guys ask for recommendations for movies do you guys do that now yeah yeah we were we were two in the zone yeah yeah so when we're rolling we forget sometimes um or i just remember like i don't think i did it on the show before because if i say this and i've said it before just i'm gonna blame mom brain forever. How long has your wife been blaming mombrain? Oh, I mean, yeah, for years.

Yeah, baby's six months. But, Labyrinth. Oh, classic. I'm obsessed with movies that went over your head when you were a kid. Is this one right here? Yeah. It's really good. David Bowie. Dude, you go back. First of all, they were on the most LSD. Oh, yeah. They were on so many drives. I also love the behind the scenes. If you're on

YouTube behind the scenes of the making of Labyrinth with Jim Henson. The documentary about Jim Henson that was on Apple. didn't really cover a bunch of labyrinths. And I think it's because they were on so many drugs, is my guess, allegedly. But the cheat codes in this movie, it is, I was make fun of Krista Stefano because he loves the Stoics.

But there is so much like stoicism. What is this? I haven't, oh, okay. And, oh, they use real babies. Look, you know, you're going to watch a baby get abused. But like, we need adversity, you know. And then when you see them doing all of the puppets, the way that they choreographed it, like,

it is so sick. But what, the movie is about you're just like what is it i haven't seen it in 20 years what is it about it's about how you give other people your power and get in their way and like no obstacles are real it's like no option that was neil brennan's podcast and it really is it's about this girl who's like you know it's going through a labyrinth basically yeah everything that uh young connolly oh and then ludo oh connolly's pretty good too i agree

Not lady. She's the best of the best. What was the poor man's labyrinth with Tom Cruise? Mystic, method. No, no, no, no. Tom Cruise. I'm looking right at it. I don't know.

Mythical, something like that. Method. Mythical religion? No, no, no. Shit. I thought it was a... Tom Cruise, it was like the... Crystal, dark crystal.

No. It was like dark crystal, I feel like was the weird, like, Pepsi to this Coke. Oh, dude, minority reports. was underrated dude that was solid he was a five-year-old in it he was super young legend yeah I don't even I've never even heard of these yeah never heard of story to get two around I never heard of you're too busy watching a guy not be able to figure out how to pick up a lobster that these are the movies that had like I can't watch things with horses in it but like these

this is like LSD yes the like everyone was on mushrooms in LSD when they made this sort of core what is what would you call like wisdom core or We're like Gothic core. Fantasy. Fantasy core. This was like the first of the, what is it? What are the Red and Fair people?

Red and Fair. What would you call that? Yeah. Gothic God? Sure. Yeah, that works. With like wisdom. Yeah, David, but I'm a sucker for a famous musician

starring in a movie that just like desperately seeking Susan. Like it's, it matters because it's Madonna. Like Labyrinth couldn't have really happened with like Stephen Seagall or like Kirk Douglas or wherever, you know what I mean? It's just like, that's David Bowie, dude. Yeah, what are other movies starring a musician? Glitter Mariah Carey. One of my favorites.

From Justin to Kelly, Kelly Clarkson. I love a, you're so famous. We don't even have a script. Moonstruck with Cher. Gilly. By the way, soap dish, I think, was also Cher. Share, like, did a lot of movies. Oh, yeah.

Lady Gaga, Star is Born. Oh, yeah. I like when they're like, we don't even, you're famous. We don't even have a script, but we'll just make a movie. We'll figure it out later. Right, right. I love that shit. Crossroads with Britain.

Tom Waits's pretty good actor Who? Tom Waits Yeah There was Was it called Gile? Did I have that right? That's real, that's Jennifer Lopez But that was like her and Ben Affleck That's what they met right?

Yeah Because usually goes the other way Like Jared Letto gets famous And he's like I have this band And I need to start a cult And bring my fans to my island Not weird at all Steve Martin's like

I'm famous so you got to listen My folk band Oh yeah All right we'll do it But only if we love you he doesn't would Alan play like the recorder at like clarinet yeah cool cool cool it's worse than the allegations things girls play in third grade yeah it's like the thing he's like fourth best i don't want to i want to see the other stuff his stand-up was great dude that album

killer killer uh my wife's oh winnie he's in the bodyguard oh that was iconic because there are some things i like when they go you oh like you have to be a famous musician to play a famous musician. I love that because it's like, you know, when you see someone playing athlete, you're just like, I can't, you know. Unless it's like Kevin Costner, he kind of pulled it off, I feel. Baseball is different because baseball, yeah, totally. Or golf.

Yeah, that's right. You're right. Like also golf like tin cup. You're like, yeah, I bought. Yeah, legend of bagger vans or something. Oh, that one. That was rough. Yeah, eight mile.

Like, it's actually that's sick. Yeah, a lot of good ones, actually. Dude, Dwight Yokem. Oh, yeah. Also, Beyonce. I love something that's just like. like I'm camp I'm here to just entertain you what was the Beyonce movie with Ellie Larder where she tried to steal her man and it was a horror movie about a white

woman trying to take your man what yeah I remember that's such in like in the black community that's such a fun like horror movie that is fun a white woman with skinny lips in no butt takes your man what do you do you're obsessed yeah wow that's a hot sex he's a hot cast yeah and the honky's not bad either this is a fun little rump yeah she's an attractive lady too. Yeah. Thank you for cleaning that up. Like it's basically what's the one with Demi Moore. I love that genre of movies too. Strip teas. Right when women started coming into the workforce, the movies that were like, when she's the boss and she makes Kirk Douglas like, oh, it's Michael Douglas. Yeah, but I'm sorry. That would have been a better movie.

Michael Douglas. Let me suck your old dick. He's at hospice. He's like, oh, okay. I love that Kirk Douglas's whole like thing. He was pigeonholed as the guy that every hot woman like wants to I think he like has to sleep with them Fatal Attraction. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. He's always in like a leather bomber jacket. Have you watched Fatal Attraction recently? No.

You had to do a mystery science theater. Like it would be so sick. That's true. Patreon? Let's do it. Dude, I'm telling you. Should we do that? That'd be amazing.

It's such a, just to like talk through how insane. First of all, the scenes were so much longer back then. Someone would get out of a car and you would just 20 minutes later they'd walk in the house. It was like, but Michael Douglas, every room he enters in, uh, uh, uh, what, What is it? You just said it. Disclosure. No, fatal attraction.

He, like, jumps in the room. It's actually kind of amazing. Oh, really? He, like, runs and skips and jumps in. Like, Kramer? Yeah, there's, it's so funny. Like, I love fun. He was just, his whole 90s was just, I'm in bang chick thrillers.

But also remember, what was it? Not single white female. What was the one, the baby, don't let the babysitter. What was it? Oh, rock the cradle. Oh, Rebecca DeMorne. So you know there, there was that article about how the, that movies play on the fears that we all currently have.

So, like, zombie movies are about our fear of homelessness. Whoa. And that this genre of movie about women going to the workforce, like you're going to leave your baby at home, like the babysitter is going to, you know, sleep with your husband and take your baby.

Like, just how leading into the, what was changing around that time or whatever. Oh, man. There was a genre of, like, if you're a woman and you get a job, your whole life will fall apart. They were like warning movies. They were like, no, you can go get a job,

big, big working girl. See what happens. Well, that's why women like true crime because it's just the scariest thing possible is like getting banged and thrown in a river or whatever. It's a good summary of forensic files. Thank you. Can I tell you something?

I have a weird. Like, is anyone who knows it's kind of like no one's talking about that anymore? Like murder's kind of over? We just need a good one. I think we had a run of killer. Like the jinx was incredible. Making a murderer was good.

Staircase was incredible. Number one. Yeah. So I was like, we had. hit a run of just fucking hits there's been no good murders there haven't been a lot i mean murdered you got to step it up but also like i'm obsessed with like we've become kind of desensitized to murder totally like we're kind of like murder ice pick like i'm seeing it all right like ted bundy was a sex symbol yeah for a while yeah but it's just like the fact that we were really into murder for a while

and we're like ah interesting so what are we in do now yeah what's the new one war like the new kink the new kink has actually maybe come from listening to a murder podcast the new thing is trying to stay alive as long as possible with ice bass and we're doing salt in the morning right doing ketosis and we're going to live for like we want to live forever now yeah i don't feel like i'm going to live forever right now what i'm feeling rough it's so funny because it's like la versus new york podcasters or maybe la i could put him with austin they're all just like you go to their podcast it's just like weak grass just like there's an ice bath you've like get in the sauna and you guys are just like you have breast implants and just like you're actually drinking for real during the day, like alcohol. Hell yeah.

I think you have a New York-ish energy. I could see that. Because I think that's another reason people might think she's a workaholic is because her energy, it feels like very New York. Are you East Coast originally? I'm so sorry I don't go on podcast and complain about my depression. And I... What is that?

No, I just mean like when people say, like, it seems like you work a lot. I'm like, you guys, I can only say... No, it's a good thing. But you guys, you guys probably work more. I work a way more. work a time. We treat comedy like a job. Yes. And people, I'd be like, just because I don't only do

stand-up for the 20 minutes a day that we're actually on stage during the week, people are like, she works so much. Actually, Louis C.K. You know what, let's talk about all the people that have been canceled, the good things they did for women. Okay. It was Louis C.K. Actually, you guys, this might get him canceled. Louis C.K. encouraged

me to keep doing stand-off. Wow. Worst thing you ever did. No, I remember that. I came out of The improv once, and I was very, very, probably been doing stand like a year and a half to years. And at the time, in L.A., you can do a lot of spots. You just have to go to, like, Pasadena and Hermosa, and I would start at four.

I would go, there was this open mic called Bliss, and then you go to this bowling alley, and then you go. It was more like rooms, you know? Yeah. Like sushi restaurants, like, you know, stuff like that. And he was, like, talking to me outside a bunch of, and I was like, sorry, you guys, I have to go. I have to, and I was so trained to be, like, feel bad for how many spots I was doing. So I was like, you're going to another spot. Like it's seven o'clock, it's Wednesday.

What do you have to do? You're done? What else am I doing? You just ate shit with a bad Facebook joke for twice. Like you're just done for the night. And like, so I was like running around and I was like, I got here to a spot. Like I have like three spots tonight. I know I'm like crazy.

And he's like, no, that's what it takes. Yeah. Like he was almost like, yeah, you're not like special for like. And I was like how matter of fact he was made me realize like, oh, it's not normal to do one tonight. Yeah. Like he was almost like only three. Wow. Okay, that's, if he thinks it's got it.

Louis, I just ran into an 18-year-old kid on the street. He's like, he's like, I'm a comic. And I was like, oh, so we chat for like 10 minutes on the street. And he was like, I was like, how much are you getting up? And he's like, five, six nights a week. I was like, great. Good for you. How many times?

He goes, yeah. Boy, he's 18. I mean, he's just starting. But it's like, but I said, but the fact you're starting that young and you understand, that's what it takes. And I was like, you're going to be all right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was like, it was because people that don't want you to succeed are going to be like,

Why are you doing all these spots? Yeah. Like, why do you work so much? Like, you know, what are you doing? People are like, you're, like, you're like a disease. You're a mental. Well, you get it in relationships a lot, right? I'm mentally ill for trying to be good at my job.

I would get in relationships. Like, you have to do another fucking set. All the time. Especially when you're starting out and you're like, I really got it right now. Yeah. And I'm like, you work from nine to five. That's eight hours. Also, let me go off for three hours, four hours.

You're not going to stay with the failed comic. Ooh, that's true, too. That's true. I like it. We're like, like, how about you get to the gym and I'll go do my stand-off? Yes, here, here. We both know how this human nature thing works. I think you've got to go.

Okay, go. You got Eagles game to get to, but plug some dates quickly if you want. Toronto, Baltimore, Fayetteville. Yeah. Go see Whitney. Yeah, just out of the show in Toronto. You guys know how to find me. Hot Springs, Arkansas, Philadelphia.

Go Eagles. The Miller Theater. Oh, that's a good one. Fort Lauderdale. I don't have as many venues. It doesn't. Yeah. Fort Lauderdale.

New Orleans. Whitney, you're the best. We'll see. soon. Thank you guys. I hope that was going in. That was Whitney Cummins. She was awesome. As always, fun episode. Coming up, I will be in Chicago at the Chicago Theater. Winnipeg. That's going to be fun. Saudi Arabia, Barcelona, Milan, Dublin, Liverpool, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin. I'm going back to Salt Lake City a second time this year because I have so much fun at Wise guys. So November 14th 16th. That's a great one.

Great club. Oh, one of my faves. And they got Reno Nevada on November 29th and the biggie Carnegie Hall on December 4th. Love you guys. Wow. Punchup.com. Live slash Samarral. Just go to my website. All right. All right. I'll be in

Saudi Arabia as well. One night only. Greece or Athens, I should say. Oslo, Helsinki, Stockholm, Dublin. Valley Center, California at Harris. Baltimore, Magubis, Washington, D.C. at the Lincoln Theater.

Chocolate City, Rochester, coming back to his hometown, Niagara Falls, San Diego, and, yeah, Markdomecombe.combe.combe. Go to punch-up, get some bodega cat. Bodecaat whiskey.com or Instagram, Bodeca cat whiskey, send us a DM. Oh, yeah.

Be the best, guys. Thanks for listening. Thank you. I don't hate that mystery science theater idea for either Patreon or Punchup. Oh, yes, Sodor's been doing it. He's like begging a fortune So I think Not a bad idea

Not a bad idea We're the movie guys Yeah Let's do it All right All right Sunday's the day For my next fenders

A bit of fever wreck You know the future's close I've had a little Too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit About the fucking post And I get down in the same way Up on the roof

Like the cops Coming And naked send you is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way. We might be true.