We Might Be Drunk - Ep 254: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - Are You Garbage - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

Kevin Ryan and H. Foley from Are You Garbage? join Mark and Sam for a booze-soaked reunion full of road stories, Philly nonsense, and deep dives into what makes a real piece of trash. They swap wild comedy club tales, debate classy vs. garbage behavior, and take a few shots along the way. Are You Garbage Podcast: https://areyougarbage.com | YouTube Sponsored by: Support the show and get 20% off your 1st Sheath order with code DRUNK at sheathunderwear.com Your new wardrobe awaits! Get $10 off @chubbies with code DRUNKS at chubbiesshorts.com/DRUNKS #chubbiespod Your new fall wardrobe awaits. For free shipping and 365-day returns, head to quince.com/DRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD:https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #KevinRyan #HFoley #AreYouGarbage #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh my God, hilarious. Put it in the bar or something. Look at these. This is hilarious. Who would wear these? Jesus Christ. You wear them every day? Are we on the air?

Oh, geez. Size 13. This is my size, too. What the hell? I don't think I'm going to wear these. They don't look bad except for our dumb faces. Yeah, they're cool without our face. Yeah.

With, like, a suit, maybe. Oh, it's a little better, a little better. Hey, you're all right. Yeah, there you go. All right. So, man, feeling all right. Feeling all right, feeling a little shucking up a little bit, but shaking up. What happened?

Oh, just the hard drinking weekend. Oh, yeah, yeah, that'll get you. How about you? You had a fucking night. Speaking of hard drinking, I got a drinking story for you. Yeah. So do Akron on Friday, killer. Akron's wild.

It's like the 50s out there. Bowling alleys and diners. And women can't get an abortion. Yeah, whites only. It's crazy. But did Akron, got the rental car, drove my fat ass to Dayton, three hours. We hit a diner in the middle of Ohio. Me and Sean Murphy, I go, let's hit a diner.

I'm hungover. I'm gay. Let's find, like, the most dineriest diner. I love a dinery diner. Yes. There's one in Rochester that's like a box car that I go to. Oh, I know that one. I love a good box card diner.

That's a great one. Love a fucking good diner. Yeah. So a real greasy spoon. So we find a place called Fred's. And we get in there, it's got the cat on the wall, the clock, you know, with the eyes and the tail. Like old school. Pull it up, Salacus.

Fred's in Akron. And, you know, the catcher, it's one of those old metal ones. Every lady's name Blanche or Gertrude. They got a pencil in their hair. I mean, classic diner. Wacky wallpaper. That's kind of an attitude, too, but you like it? Yeah, that's it.

I'm looking at that. I mean, it's in the sticks, baby. I like it. The food was great, great coffee, the whole thing. That looks like a great greasy spoon. That type of breakfast with those types of hash browns hits. And the prices were from the 50s, too, I've got to say. I love that too.

Yeah. I know Veter always resents it a little when I get out of it unscathed. When it's like a 999 omel, he's like, you're lucky best. Fuck you, dude. He's a gold digger this guy. He's a little gold digger. He wants it, yeah. So, we go to Fred's.

I walk in is a little bit of a weight, and a guy in the kitchen is eyeballing me. Young, scruffy guy. Look at that. That is classic, the stools and everything. Kitchen guy's eyeballing me. Scruffy guy, shaggy hair, you know, 20-year-old, 18-year-old kid. And he goes, I'm like, all right, this guy might recognize me.

We sit down. The lady brings us the food. She goes, it's on the house. The kitchen knows you. And I go, I'll pay. It was like $23 for the meal. I was like, I'll pay. I feel good paying.

It's fine. She's like, it's on the house. So I drop a 50 on the table How you do it And the guy The lady goes Just saying It's all in the house

If you meet the guys in the kitchen And I said okay No problem So I go in the kitchen They grab you They start beating it out of you Yeah I go in the kitchen

It's like three guys And they're all aproned out You know covered in egg yolk And jizz and all this shit And they're like Hey we're big fans of comedy And like great to meet you I'm Bob

This is Bubba This is Dave And then the old guy turns around On the griddle And he goes, and I'm friend. And these are all my boys. So they're all his kids. I love that.

It's some real Midwest shit. So I get a photo with all of them. I smell like hash browns. I get out of there. It's on the wall now. Oh, that would be nice. Nothing's finer than in your diner. Name it omelette after me, will you?

Remember that episode? Of course. Yeah, Seinfeld. She'll have the broiled chicken. So we drive to Dayton, and I'm like, all right, I'm going to Dayton. You got to think, okay, Chappelle's compound. is 50, 45 minutes away in the Yellow Springs. He's got that new club out there.

So I go, I have his number. He invited me out there during COVID, which was very nice. And I couldn't do it for some schedule reason. But I still had his number. The club, right? The club. Yeah, he asked me to play as well. It was fucking flattered as hell.

Yeah, I'd love to. But I couldn't make it work. So I said, let me just text him. Why am I such a pussy? Why am I so scared of confrontation and bothering? people I'm texting them so I texted it I delete it text again now that's no good

delete it and I just said fuck it hey Dave it's a long shot I'm in town at the theater it's sold out if you want to pop in we'd love to have you no pressure send 30 minutes goes by 45 minutes and nothing an hour had nothing whatever just like fuck why to drop the N word yeah

I'm trying to be cool I know I was quoting Chris Rocks bit No, you do that with, like, the comic legend, you're like, start, you stop. You start, you're like, what do we? Mm-hmm. Well, you know, my famous Jerry text that I got made fun of him for like four years over it. What was it again? I hadn't talked to one a while, and I said, hey, Jerry, I'm Jonzen for that hang. Yes, I remember.

Which everybody, people wore shirts to my show, Jones for that hang, you're a douche, you're a homo, whatever. Hey, we all miss fire. Yeah, and we did hang out, so it wasn't a total loss. And you were Joneson? I was, I was joking. But I wrote J-R, which was a real problem. J-E-R. Hey, J-R.

That's rough. That's not great. Not great. I mean, if you're really tight, but you weren't. No, we weren't. Yeah. But I was trying to force the tightness, which is really bad. Yeah.

So I go, okay, pushed it, nothing back. Now it's like 5 o'clock. I get to the show at 6.30, shows at 7. I get the call from Dave. Dave Chappelle, phone ringing. I swipe it, and I go, hello. and he goes, hey, hey Norman, it's Dave, what's up? I'm like, oh, I'm just getting ready for the show.

I know it was a long shot, we'd love to have you. He sounds like Red Fox. He kept using cool slang. He's like, I come by, but I'm in the cut. And I don't know what that means. I think that means I'm in the woods or I'm in the middle of something. I don't know. He's in the cut.

So he goes, I'm in the cut. It's my wife's birthday. I can't come by. I got to go do her thing, but I appreciate the invite. And I go, yeah, man, I wasn't trying to overstep by just, and he goes, no, no, no, I meant a lot to me that you want to hang out. I appreciate it. I can't go tonight, but let's hang out after. He's so down to earth.

I know, he's so normal. So I was like, I'd love to hang out after. But here's the thing. I'm such a psycho. I booked a bar show after the theater. Something's wrong with you. Something's wrong. You bail on the bar show for the Chappelle hang.

Well, you know me. I want to make it all work. So I go, hang on. I'll see after the show, but I have a bar show. I'm a psycho, and he goes, you're not a psycho, man, I get it. So that was cool. And then I go, I'll do the bar show, and I'll come right to you. And he goes, oh, good, whatever I'll be out all night.

He's a night owl, big time. So I do my show. It was killer. Dayton crowd was amazing. Then we drove to this place called Brickies, and it's like a bar restaurant with a bunch of tables. I go up first or second. I go, hey, let me do less time. I'll cut the money in half.

The guy goes, no problem. we do the show I get out of there and I text Dave they're in the back they're like you can keep all the money if you meet

three guys in the back they beat the shit out of me so I get off stage I text Dave I go hey man hit me with that address baby

and then Sean Murphy goes ooh baby and I go for that hang baby that was bad so I edit it and I just take off

the baby and I go hit me with that address I don't want him like he's on some gay shit what's he doing you know so

you called him baby I was You're going Jerry Jarrett, Shabelle, baby? What's happening? I was rolling. I was in the moment. I was cooking. I was all keyed up.

What's up, Blair? What's up, man? All right, so I'm like, all right, let me text Dave. We'll get that address. So now we went for, it was like the movie Swingers. We run offstage. We're sitting in the car in the parking lot of Brickies. Go, just wait for that address because we've got to know where to go.

and it's 1045, 11, 11.45, I'm like, shit. I also have a 6 a.m. flight because I try to get back for the baby. So that means I got to drop the rental car off. You know, we've got to get there at 5, drop the rental car. Oh, my God, you're putting an all-nighter. I guess so. Yeah. But, you know, you do it for the story.

So I'm like, ah, now it's 1130. And he's not writing back. So then Sean goes, you might have to hit him again. And I'm like, I can't do the double text, but I never got the reply. and I go, what about this? What if we just start driving towards Yellow Springs? This is 45 minutes away. And then maybe he'll text, and then we'll be already on the way.

And he's like, yeah, that's good, but what if he never texts? Then we drove out there for nothing. So now we're in this big debate, and I go, fuck it, and I just start driving. So we start driving to Yellow Springs. Nothing. Every five minutes, I'm looking, nothing, nothing. Now we're in Yellow Springs, just sitting there in Yellow Springs. I get the call. Hey, it's Dave.

Here's my address. And he hangs up. He just goes, I'm at 802 Franklin Street. hung up. And I was like, 802, 802, put it 802. I'll try not to forget it. And we show up, we're at his house in the woods, literally just a house, like a regular old house, and his pictures everywhere, and he's got a bunch of people dancing and food out, and he gives me a drink. We chat it up. We chat for like a half hour. We do some ziggins, some zanging. He goes, I'm going to my shack, and I go, what's the shack? I thought it was like a nightclub or something

called the shack. It's literally a barn. It's literally a barn. barn in the woods that he has a bar in, a DJ set up and a private bar. Private bar like his little man cave kind of thing and his assistant his man cave has employees. Yes exactly. He knows you're fucking loaded.

He hits a thing on the wall and he goes hey hey come on out, we're here and a DJ comes out and starts DJing. So they're just blaring. Just like on retainer he just is that yeah he's like best money I ever spent was this guy he's amazing and he was a great DJ. He's playing creep

and all this shit. You just live at the house or something? I think so, yeah. Instead of a butler, he's got a DJ. Yeah, yeah. That's the blackest together. He's my DJ. So the DJ's cooking and we're talking and how about this?

Yeah. We're all drinking. Dave, uh, I started smoking cigarettes, by the way, because I didn't want to look like a dork. He's like, you want one? I was like, yeah. Smoked a few cigarettes this weekend, too. There you go. You get drunk and they fucking taste it.

I know. I know, and I got all juiced up. How about you bum one from a lady and now you're smoking a slim. You're like, God, I don't like, God, I don't. Oh, I hate a slim. It feels good. Slim is bad. So I go...

Unless she's the lady. That's true. So then we're chain smoking, we're drinking, and he goes, hey, man, I got to say, that joke about what gay people see when they die, that killed me. Oh, wow. The Stanhope episode. That was incredible. That may be the best riff.

Oh, thank. But that means he saw the show. He watches the show. Dave. Then we hung out that I drove home. Hey! Hey, the boys are here. What's shaking, gang.

Hey, hey. Good to have you back. We got a couple of beers. No pressure. Half a cookie. And a chub. Good to have you. Thanks for having us.

You're going to tell of story. Who are we talking about? He was in Chappelle's man cave. I went to the Chappelle compound or whatever. Oh, really? I just randomly texted him in Ohio and he said, come on by. Oh, shit. Yeah, it's one of those scary texts, you know.

Thanks, bud. Yeah, that's a big matzo ball. hanging out there. Exactly. Thank God he replied. He's Mark, Mark Norman. Hey, buddy. That's awesome. Well, yeah. Young Chappelle there. All right. Cheers, boys. Here's, gang. Look at this.

Garbage, great. I love that sound. Talk about tanking a Monday early. Hell yeah. I got a great bottle, too, a high-life bottle. Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, between this and a bud-like can, I always lean bottle. You got to go bottle. It's like, I feel like Shawshank when they're paving the roof. I do, I do love a bud-lite bottle. That was a porter. Yeah. It was a porter. He says a porter-a-old.

beer, which is like... That's a thick, that's a heavy beer. They made that look like it was a corona. Oh, yeah, they glisten. There's gold liquid in the sun. Man. And then they... They were on the roofs of one of our own houses.

And then they had that Italian bra doing the opera. Yeah. Yeah, when he broke... I don't know what that lady was singing about. You don't speak Italian? Oh, yeah, that's true. We had Rayne Wilson on here who does not like Shawshank. What?

That's what I said. That's a hot take. You know what, though? I appreciate that he had some hot takes. Yeah. Oh, that's a hot take. He hated women? I guess that's not that hot.

Check the history books. That's a pretty good take. He hated Goonies? Hated Goonies, which I can get behind that one. No, I don't. It's a kids movie. I still like it, though. It's still a classic.

Not for nothing. You brought him up. Not that I'm talking trash. I don't know if he's a big tennis guy, but the U.S. Open. All those celebrities up to, like, ooh, what are he talking about? You see one tennis match every six years. You're up to acting like the kids your son. Oh.

Shut up. I missed that. Oh, all they're into it. Are you in a tennis or no? I like tennis. It's fun. I've never been to a man.

I'm not going to get up there biting my hat because some fucking other millionaire. You don't give a shit. Give me a fucking break. That's a hot take. Big man's got two sips of highlight. Hello? Watch out.

Ray Wilson's getting it. I'm just saying. You don't like Shawshank? Fuck the U.S. Open Celebrity Road, dude. It's just, I mean, come on. Go sit and watch it. If you got invited, you'd be up there. I would not.

I would. They'd love to go. And Ben, Stiller's different. They go all the time. Ben Stiller's a hardcore sports guy. Yeah. Yeah. I can already picture Foley there like, he's got chocolate all over.

About 12 seconds. Look at this guy. He's really failed that thing. Wasn't it one of those, that was at the U.S. Open? It was in like a cup. One of those boats. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's all right. Look at these outfits. People are dressed to the nine. He's got the earpiece on. He's got to hear what's, shut the fuck up. You got to hear what's going on? Oh. Come on, man.

Is that the mayor? Yeah, the official hat. Give me a break. Stop it. Is that Taylor Swift, newly engaged? Shout out to him. Shout out. He really, it's a different look.

Yeah. I like that, though. That's nice. I am a fan of them. They're back there chilling. They're having fun. You know what I mean? You know, people like sitting in a throat.

Rayne Wilson was wrong. I got to say, he's only saying this because we just signed a deal with garage beers and Kelsey owns. We're really fucking toe in the pump around. Yeah, you're defending them really quickly. You're talking about. I was like, man, that's kind of weird out for you. Like, I don't know what you're. talking about he looks lovely

who's that guy the virgin guy that's John Bon Jovi oh he went white I got a hot take on him not a hot take but I just want to say that that guy aged and grew into his things awesome I agree he didn't keep the hair he doesn't look at a guy in Long Island that had a fucking band in the 80s

that still hanging out to it he grew with like Stephen Tyler he grew into the billionaire that he is or whatever you know the rich gentleman obsessed with the surgery the Botox the hair He's got nothing. It's like a guy aging gracefully. Yeah, when you just look normal, you look, you're like, oh, that's like a refreshing just to see a 72-year-old guy. Now, don't, I don't want the lady's doing it. They look like, I think I's got to keep it type.

Hey, Hoffman. Hey, go. I did see Jason Biggs. The celebrities get better and better each night. You know, you're like, Rita Rudner. Start with the openers? Who's feature in the night? Is that Klinger from MASH?

What are we doing here? Gary Veter. How do you get the hell in the... I'll let anybody in here. Gary sneaks into the place, wasn't he? He does. He's got the angle. He's got the con.

That's right. No, some of these rockers. None of these photos are proving my point, but I caught a clip last night. I believe it. Where it was like, intense, man, they're all doing it on stuff. It's like, come on, man, stop. Like, oh, my God, yeah. Yeah, it's, fuck, shut up.

If you're a psycho fan, I'll give it to you, but I'm with you. They get a little one game every. They're playing the part. They got a little. Right. Free tickets. Oh, even he's doing it. Donnie.

Wow. I got him with a pill. He's just mad that a Spaniard was in the country. That's what it was. That's his faith. Boys, get her. Get him out. What Jack Nicholson was doing it back in the day? Oh, but he was a psycho, man.

And he was getting in fights with Polanski on Chinatown because they couldn't finish the fourth quarter of the Lakers. Like throwing his TV on the floor. He's like, fuck you. That's a little intense. He wants to watch Magic. Crazy. It was before Magic, I guess. He's a diehard Lakers fan.

Yeah, he's old school. You know where he's from? Who, Rodney? Jersey. Jersey, Jack. Oh, yeah. Is he? Neptune.

Anyone who's a Yankees and a Lakers fan, it bugs me a little bit. I get it, though. I get it, but it bugs me a little bit. Why you buy? No, but you kind of get the best of both worlds. Sure, sure. But, I mean, he's earned it. He's earned it.

I love Nicholson. He's out in Lickison. He's out in Lickson. He proved himself out in Lakers fan. He should be a Knicks fan. That's fair. He should be a Knicks fan. But he lived out there.

He did. Remember Mark Cuban would get out there. he owns the team that I'll give you he was really good out there Steve Ballmer same shit that guy looks like he was coming he was fucking cheering so hard

he was going crazy we have some Bozo and Philly that's trying to do it now on the Sixers he's like something he did it last season and he kind of got checked a little

but I think I could be talking out of my ass there's some rich guy that sits like in that row on the Sixers and he's like real close to the bench or whatever and he's really you know

over just he's trying to be like Palmer look at that guy he's going nuts yeah he had a Did he, I mean, he defended himself against the home 28. Who knows what happened there? Yeah, there's, God, that guy's got to stop digging. All right, now is he here?

This ain't all the president's men, Paul Blotory. Stop it. Where did that come from? Yeah, he's doing all this. Some blogger. No, he's a journalist, that guy. But he's driving me nuts because now he's going after the Knicks. Yeah, it's enough of that.

What's he doing? You better stop digging. He's digging? No, the guy. He's trying to prove that they're paying players on the side. They're like other deal. Kind of the salary cap, right? Circumventing the cap.

Got it. Pablo. Torre. Some players on the teams have some no-show jobs that they do. Endorsement. Certain constructions like to New Jersey. So it went through like a shell company or like a startup that was like a 28. Hey, by the way, it's on a shell.

It's a startup. There's a startup company. But then they let that go bankrupt. That's how they got caught. It's like, how do you let the, I don't know. Aren't you supposed to walk away from it? Yeah, well then now you're in this fucking. Kind of win some games here.

Yeah, what the fuck? What about a shell? He's always out there at the Knicks games. But he's a hardcore fan. Yeah, he's a New Yorker. That's Chalameh. Yeah. He's a real fan.

Sure. He's always dressed a little, little kooky. I like it, dude. He's into the fashion, young kid. He doesn't even care about a Kardashian whore. He's just like, hey, watch the game. He made her a Knicks fan. Yeah, there he is.

Yeah. Damn, that guy does what he wants. Sure. He wasn't, he could film a movie whenever he wants. He was like, I'm taking the playoffs off. I'm going to go to the Knicks games. I respect it. Is that true?

He called that? It seems like it. Seems like he's always working, right? Sure. Yeah, he's good. Man, he's a crazy-looking guy. Yeah, odd face. Sharp face on him.

Got Rodentia. Why does Rodney keep coming back up? That's a mirror. That's my screen. Pretty good-looking guy. He's got to have a screen saver. He hates his child. Wait, the background on your computer is Rodney Dangerfield?

Yes. There's no one closer to you in life than Rodney Dangerfield. Man. Shout out to Sally His nightstand next to his bed is red buttons Good night red A joke was for two people I liked it

Yeah What the hell you guys have been up to I mean You've been on the road? We weren't we're off for the summer Kippie had a baby We're getting ready Ship back out

In September I do have to say Very unblood You were the only person Like outside of my immediate friend group That texted Ah I try A lot of DMs, obviously.

I say it at Orange Place. Oh, at R. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, I said, I've gotten, but out of nowhere, which I hadn't talked to you. You're like, congratulations. Well, when I had to be, I got so many that it touched me. I was like, oh, my God, I didn't know Joe DeRosa knew my name or whatever. So then I'm like, I wrote you, I guess this is it.

Yeah, yeah, never. But so I said, when I see a friend with a baby, I'm texting him. Appreciate it. It went a long way. Yeah, when a little something from the heart comes. from Norman out of nowhere. I tell you, it really goes a long way. It wasn't easy.

I sat in drafts for a while. Yeah, yeah. It really strikes you. You know, it takes Mark Norman. I was like, that's what I was like, oh, wow, that's a, you know, that was a big one. Any good baby advice from Mark? That GBT, Roe. No.

I mean, you're a little older. Your kid's a little older than mine, I think. Seven and a half one. Yeah, I'm at three. Oh, wow, you're in the thick. It's just getting out of it a little bit. You know that? You did the whole thing?

Oh, the whole thing. I took off from the road and really just went. went in and, boy, you don't get any sleep, you're delirious, you got shit on your shoulder, you're puked in your hair, you're a whole different person. Huh. It's Mr. Mom. It's bad. I thought you wanted to took the 50s route.

I tried. Light a cigarette walk out to him, but I call me when he's two. Yeah. Don't worry. I got help. I hired a lot of Jamaicans. There you go. How many Jamaicans?

The bobslet team. First one in a bowl on that one. Feel the rhythm. I'm cooking or just baby stuff? Baby slit in time. They cook? Yeah, they don't eat. They don't eat your baby eating some jerk chicken.

Oh, I would love that. I love a good bump of clot. Get to buy your beef patty man. Oh, the ox tail man. No, they did the dishes and vacuum and stuff. Because sometimes the baby goes to sleep for like two hours. I think they feel weird just sitting there. Oh, I'll do the dishes.

Oh, look at that, Kippie. Uh-huh. What did you tell me what your girl did? What? Oh, you got a lady? Yeah, I got a lady. Polynesian or a Thai? White lady.

Oh, that's... I can't afford that. Ukrainian at least? No. Full-blown. She's from Seattle. She's older. She's older.

Her kids are raised. So she's more of like, you know, older, older, broad. You like sound a little war-torn. Yeah. Like Ukraine. Some off the books. Yeah. Now, it's hard to complain.

to just a regular white woman. That's true. And then they complain. They have a microaggression and a me day. You don't hear that from a Jamaica. Sure, sure, sure. What's the thing?

You're pulling up shorts out here with the nanny? Boy, Maria Shriver had a real, that face could cut glass. A little shallomay kind of. Yeah. Man, he really fucking did it. He really did. Came to America, dominated, got a Kennedy.

Such a great burbid of like, why don't you, why would he? not think he could fucking pull that off. Like, he's been in the zone for 40 years. He's been killing it. I mean, it didn't really seem to affect anything. He's got a nice kid. For sure, she gets taken care. Yeah, but that kid, whenever they take a family

photo that other kids, like, in the corner somewhere, it's always kind of rough. He looks just like him, too. It's crazy. Yeah, it's pretty wild. Oh, my God. He looks like a little of, a little of... He's only three months there. Who's the guy, Andre the Giant? He does.

Tell you, that was the minute. steamy. Oh, the maid sex? You can't... One thing to fuck the maid, you can't come in the maid. Crazy.

Oh, you figure she'd clean it up. Yeah, if you come anywhere, she'll get to it. But that's the thing. There's a woman in the house. Like, a woman always go, what the hell? Why would he cheat on Maria?

It's like, well, it's a different vagina. Yeah. It doesn't do with how hot she is. It's too close proximity, too. Yeah, I like Michelin food. Man, look at that look. But the Popeye shows up, you can eat it. Of course.

There's no logic to him. He should have let go right there. What do you mean? Go back to that picture. Was that the back button? Didn't he get track? Didn't Arnold get a little shit for groping back in the day? He did, yeah.

He was real hanky in the movie. There's one thing on his mind. And it ate what's for dinner. I'll think that. I mean, even that, even that beginning of pumping iron, isn't it just like, it's all about coming and pumping and coming and punts? Of course he's going to fuck the nanny. What are we talking about?

The intro to his movie was about coming. He didn't grope enough to not be the gull. governor of California. Yeah. Yeah. Governor California. Did you watch his documentary? I did.

It's kind of funny. He feels bad about his dad for being a Nazi and coming home and losing the war. He's like, those Nazis, they really, you know. Hey, where they felt really bad afterwards. They really glossed over that. They did. Are you talking about this one or the... The documentary that came out like, whatever, last year or two years ago.

They try to like sympathize that his dad. He's like, my dad came home with problems and, you know. Yeah. That's crazy. So a young Arnold Schwarzenegger was a young kid. in Nazi Germany. He was in Austria. In World War II.

It's funny to talk about a Holocaust in World War II when he's just like, mm-hmm, just pumping. Coming in the gym, I'm getting the feeling of coming at home. Oh, yeah. And the nanny? When I pump up, when I bows out in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling.

So I'm coming day and night. Dude, he sounds so retarded. It's crazy. Man, he must have really slayed through L.A. Just the gash, he was inhaling. Yeah, the 80s must have been a wild. What are you, my drunk uncle? A lot of talent.

A lot of trim, huh? Great. The gash. Yeah. That's ruined. But yeah, yeah. He must have a fun life. Oh, forget about it.

And then he's the Terminator and then he's the governor. I mean, yeah, he's living it up. We were just talking, it was in something of, he made the most money on twins. Oh, that really? A $30, $40 million or something. Same with Ivan Wright. I think, yeah, because they just... They just took everything on the back end, and it was like a human still VHS sales, yeah.

That's always the weird shit. You know, what's the Aerosmith guy? Perry and Tyler. Tyler, he made more on Guitar Hero than he said in all of his years... What? That's nuts. Guitar Hero! Crazy.

A video game. That's crazy. I thought you were going to say more off of Armageddon. Oh, I'm sure that didn't hurt. But yeah, yeah. So you never know what's going to... Oh, Tony Hawk, more money on the video game. Yeah.

You know, years of everything. He told us that he went to meeting with his agent and said, you know, what's the check for this thing? He came to him like a check for like a million bucks. I think it was the first check he got was like $6 million. Imagine that? Oh, I'm glad. In a Panera bread, you get a check for $6 million? Was that your office?

He said they were after lunch. I don't know. I don't know what this guy eats. Oh, you had him on the pod. We had him on the pod, yeah. He's a Norman fan. I know. Get him on the pot.

He was saying that Mark's a good skater. I saw that clip. Yeah, or a good skateboarder. Oh, yeah. Met the world to me. Yeah. That's one of the things you never think you'd be there. You're very humble about that, too. You never really bring it up.

Well. That and that tight little body you got. Get a couple more drinks in him. He'll talk about his skating. Yeah? I got my trophy at my house. You have a trophy? I want a couple competitions.

What? I didn't know you skated professionally. Well, I wouldn't say proficient. I didn't have a sponsor, except for L.A. Yeah, yeah, I was all I did. It was like comedy. Before comedy. comedy you know what i mean like i was obsessed with it it's all i did i had eight friends we all did

it together every single day for nine hours a day but you did competition when you were a kid in orleans yeah damn that's pretty good and you won a couple yeah it's kind of like having like a side hustle thing like like like the way you know a guy shows up to a pool hall and you're like oh this guy's fucking good at this when you just whip it out it's kind of shocking yeah it's very shocking yeah but also i did it before black kids started skating so that was a little it was easier just another thing they took from the white man god damn it Well, it was a very segregated. Like, we had a black guy in our group, Marcel,

and he was a really good skater, and black guys would be like, what's you doing, man? I mean, it was 1976. Drive turkey. Yeah, he tried to be a skateboarder back in the 80s and 90s. That must have sucked. Talk about blazing a trail. I remember hearing an interview with Urkel.

Julia White. Thank you. And he said he was the only black kid in an all-white school in Pasadena, and he was Urkel at the time and he said he got bullied quite a bit and it was racial so he left and went to a black school he got bullied more

yeah really because he was Urkel Erkel showed up to the hood they went to town on his ass he was like I should have stayed with the whites man just dropped at a school and get homeschooled your Urkel what are you doing go to Chinese school something that is a tough

character to be in high school for I see him walking around in the outfit too I don't know why he's not tough to try to be cool you know what I mean you're kind of He's at the same high school Webster's like, get him. Yeah, fucking Gary Coleman. That guy must have had a horrible childhood, man. Oh, rough.

Totally. I mean, I want to bully him right now. Look at this kid. And then because he was in high school, he was trying to be cool. Yeah, it's like there's no way that guy can come to. But he is kind of a cooler guy. Like, when you see him interviewed. Yeah.

I don't buy it. I still go, you're trying. He's still a dork. But when he turned into Stefan, you're like, he is kind of cool. He's cool. He's cool. He's no, he's still the guy. that I would, if I was like, I see him as he's still in high school.

Like, he's never not going to be that nerd. It's crazy he never really did another thing because that show is so fucking big. Well, it's like the Seinfeld curse. If you're so good, it actually hurts you in, like later. Remember him talking about that? Did they talk about why they wanted the money? Who? Just, uh, Jason Alexander.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That interview where he said how we, not that they ruined television, but the reason that they asked for so much money was because we might not be able to go on and do stuff after this. Because we're going to be so of George. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then it shows you how great Dreyfus is.

Because she still prospered. Low-key, she has the best career of, like, anybody ever. Easily. Best, best, best, yeah, best comic actress. Ventures of old Christine, new original artist, Christine. S&L. S&L. Now she's in Marvel.

No, I'm just saying after. Marvel? Yeah, I'm just saying the whole career. She's picked up in a storyline for, out of the last couple that they did, and she's in Thunderbolts, which is like the next Avengers. It's funny that you're in Marvel to me. That's, like, the least impressive.

of shit she's done money though I am sure yeah but she's fine yeah very how long did Christine go on what was that was that at least four years yeah it was a handful of Emmys yeah well her dad's super loaded her dad's like a billionaire yeah yeah yeah yeah something like that which also proves the point you know you can be rich and still funny sure everybody thinks you gotta be a fucking prior in a brothel oh I think for I think for stand up you need to prohibit your work ethic, I feel. Stand-up. Like, she's naturally

funny. She'll be funny on screen and sketches, whatever. But, like, to get good at stand-up, you really have to have a fucking gun to your head. You have to have humility. You've got to be hungry. Yeah, that makes sense. Because, like, I remember, like, you know, somebody, like, who had money or whatever, just be, we'd be, like, bark in and whatever.

And they're like, I'm not doing that. Like, they could bypass a few steps of, like, I'm past this. I barked for years. My parents had money. I mean, you know, wasn't. It's work ethic. Yeah. They're not you, Sammy.

The inner flame. That's right. So I just, fighting the dog. I just met this kid. I show speed. Do you ever see that? Oh, I saw that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Crazy clip. But it just shows. This guy's the most famous person on the planet. Yeah. And he couldn't do stand-up. Yeah. Well, you didn't give him the best advice. No, I was trying to be funny.

No, it was hilarious. But then he really took your advice. I'm like, no, he was kidding. Yeah. Mark was fucking with you. Yeah, exactly. Look at how many people are watching the stream right here. 43 million.

43 million people watching it. How many people were watching it? How many people. People hate you up about that. I think I got one follower. No. He wanted to do standout? I got a million comments and DMs and all that.

Wow. And then people would, like, all these blue checks are liking my clip, but I'm like, you would have never liked my clip before. And you might not like my comedy. Yes. But you like this. I did see a bunch of comics are very salty about this, too, in the comments. Did you notice that, too?

About what? They're like, why I worked so hard to get on this stage and let this guy do a backflip, da, da, da, da. I was like 40. You got 40 million people watching them walk around. Exactly. That's why. Wait, it's a big deal. You're shocked that entertainment is in a

lower level. You're shocked that people. It's not like he's getting spots every night. He did the, like it was like a promotional thing, right? He wanted to try it. He was on set for, he was on stage for like 18 seconds.

Yeah. Yeah, but people who have huge followings get to cut the line. We watched it when we, I remember there were people with the last name of a famous dude who got the cut in front of me who weren't funny.

Yeah. But they were, they had an end. I think I know you're talking about. Yeah, there was a couple. Skippy from Family Tide He ended up serious No but you're like But it's like you talk about having that in

Are they going to have the drive to stick around Yeah you have to do it It goes back to the have to work Are they going to have the drive to be like I'm going to tough this out That was just a stunt It's a social thing Yeah we're talking about

And I think it helps us Because it shows hey this millionaire famous guy Can't do it So it actually looks better on us I think Yeah good for the club You know what I mean everything That's him Mark Bryce. I always love Skippy.

He did stand-up. Wow, look at the hair on that guy. Holy shit. I never saw that show, did it. I don't think I ever... What? Pretty good. One of a family-ties guy? No, I know. I just, you know, some slip through the cracks. Yeah. There was a crunchy liberal family and the sons are like a die-hard Republican. Yeah. I was right there. I was at the perfect age when it

dropped. Norman, was that set up at all? Like, organized at all? Like, hey, no, it's just randomly popped in? I mean, I knew that. I think he had it set up with the club. He's got 18 guys. Lights all over cameras all over him he had a bunch of riders with him and one guy was like he's about to go on give him some advice because that was he bumped me yeah and i was like uh and i slid in the frame and was like just say the end word it was the first thing i thought of wow and then we rift a little bit and then he did it which i didn't know he would and then he did a backflip then he ran off and that was it the whole thing lasted 38 seconds quick thinking so there's a whole squadron

it's not just like oh yeah they got bodyguards and shit yeah it's like i showed up to the stand i was like why is it like 30 cops here and cars lights way that would drive me crazy That I guess. The cops just saw a black guy walk in. They're like, we got to do something. This is crazy. Well, I was hoping Aaron Berg got shot. You never know.

So that's this business. Damn, that is crazy. So he had a ton of security and stuff. Oh, yeah. He's so famous. See, I don't, I know who he is, but I don't know. I've never seen anything he's done, I don't think. This is all he does.

It just streams. Yeah, but it's always YouTube. It's like a YouTube guy, right? Who's the other guy? Oh, Twitch. I think it's mostly on Twitch. Twitch, yeah. Cicin Cicinac Cicinette.

See, I know the names, but I've never seen any of it. It's like a couple of old men. I know. A couple of boom. I show speed. Where is that? 43 million subscribers. On YouTube?

And then there's some open micrbri being like, he bumped me. It's like, shut up. This guy could buy and sell most of Manhattan. Let him do a backflip. And he was, he started in his room with eight followers. Sure. They all did. Yeah.

They all did it up. Do you think like Royal Rumble guys are like, I had to work hard to get to this stage? No, they want to. on there because they know it's getting eyes on everything. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, you know, everyone has their path. I get, I get being a young comment. Feeling that way, though, because you're like...

Yeah, we had it. Of course. Because we were that way, and we had that, like, purity to it. Like, when, I don't... If someone famous who just didn't give a shit about what you give a shit, bump, you're like, fuck this guy. Sure. I get it. Sure.

Probably said it about you to. It's some bar show back in the day. Fucking Norman coming in here, just cramming into nine spots in one night. And murdering and I got to go up after you? Looking like a dork. Uh, we were, because we were in the villa, we were like, You guys that were already in the clubs, but we were, like, still in, like, the Village Lantern days. When they started shooting all of those, there was always a TV show.

Like crashing? Oh, just all that. It seemed like, I remember, too, we were standing on the corner barking, trying to get a show off. And Pete Holmes was shooting an HBO show about barking, like, 13 feet away. And he's like, are you guys barking right now? We're like, yeah, man. Well, you're like, this is the documentary. Yeah, this is really, we're really trying to do it.

Damn. That was always rough. We're not, you know. You're just like watching. You're like literally saying, they're like, oh, free comedy show. And then they're like, the Judd Apatow is there. And you're like, it's right there and we are so far away. God, I forgot about that.

We got Judd Apatow's over there. They were something like a little video village. Yeah. Damn, that was like those productions were huge. Huge. You don't think about that, but you're like, they're shutting down two blocks. Yeah. Dude, shut that McDougal, like, you know, yeah, for.

They have craft service. They had a lady with a headset with a clipboard. Hey, you can't go here. I mean, that shit was huge. Yeah. Not for much longer. Are they shooting? shows that way.

No, that was when, like, productions were still production. It used to be such a bag of mixed emotions. Like, all you didn't know it was when you got down to the villas out night. You didn't know that was there. And then that was just, like, another added thing. Like, yeah. They shot this thing at the cellar too. You know, want and whatever.

They shut down the cellar for a while for this. Remember this? Will Arnett, the Bradley Cooper film? Yeah, it's coming out soon, right? It looks like it could be interesting. I mean, it's like kind of artsy. It doesn't look like it's going to be funny. It looks like it's going to be, like, a drama.

Yeah. I'm going in with low expectations. I feel like they miss a lot how many bad stand-up movies there are. Oh, I do love Laura Dern. Yeah. Are she doing the pod or what? You're getting the Dern?

Really? Let's get the Dern. Whoa. Hell yeah. The Dernanator. Salachutes are the Hollywood connections. Yeah, yeah, that was a Salahuees. I was thinking through a trash.

Matt got her. All right, can we go back to Rodney? I'm sick of seeing my dumb mug next to his handsome white teeth. There we go. That's fun, though. But yeah. And remember when you'd see crashing being

shot and you're like maybe I just hang around they'll throw me in it always had that thought did you ever get on it I never got on it wait you were thinking that yeah that would make sense all right I was on but they cut me out I was in a I was in I was in I was in the I was in the I was in the roast episode and I guess Pete Holmes character and his girlfriend roast each other and it's like you know they're both comics and it was roast battles when roast battle was like popping off oh yeah and but they gave us a writing credit because I fed them a couple lines I gave a line that She used. I remember being like,

that was a pretty good fucking line I gave them. So they paid us as writers for that episode. He's pretty good. Nice check. Yeah, I think the line I gave. I think it was Jamie Lee.

I gave her a line where like, she was like something mean about Pete being religious or something like him being cheated on by his wife. That was the start of the show. So it was like something along the lines of like, Pete,

Jesus isn't coming back and neither is your ex-wife. They both got nailed in her in a better place now. Hey, that's a great joke. You work on the spot? They were like come up with a couple. I came up with that. And it would have worse.

I fed it to them. And then Mateo and I roasted each other on stage. And we had some good lines on each other. It was pretty fun. But yeah, they cut us out. But it was, you know, it's all good. But you had to sit on and write those. Yeah.

That's a lot of little bit of work. I wrote a little bit. But it was fun. No, I was going to say the most surreal thing with the movies and stuff like that was, I worked at a Greek cafe on the corner of Bedford and Morton in the West Village when Louis was, I guess, lived over there. And he was filming the show at the time. And I would see him, like, actually walking his kids to school.

and then I would see him later filming that same thing in the production with actors crazy like girls playing his kids I would see him living his life and filming his life at the same time it was so surreal

it's kind of the dream you're like this guy did it I was so into the show at the time though it was like it was nuts that show was inspiring yeah oh very the three episodes of trying to get late night

dude I was literally just gonna bring up I watched it every six weeks I was gonna bring up the David Lynch thing yeah that was one of the funniest things when he goes be funny right now And he goes, do,

do, dude, I thought you were a newsman. Great line. You're a con, I'm a comedian. Comedian, I thought you were a newsman.

Comedy's about timing, son. You got to get him, you got to tell him, and you got to keep him. He just doesn't say anything. It all starts because he gets bumped on Leno or something.

Yes, yes. Tom Cruise went long. No, Tom Cruise wouldn't show up because I got him on motorcycle. That's what it was. He doesn't like surprises. Yes,

the best thing about that. I tried to ask Louis about this after we did, after we had him on but I totally botched it and he looked at me like I was an idiot yeah he does that the Gary Marshall fucking and I couldn't articulate

I gotta push back he gave it to you we had a good conversation about it we did yeah I think you were just freaking out he gave it to you he was like yeah I was like he really trying to articulate in like a non-guber way of like what that meant and like you know what that means you know just the way Gary Marshall

does that speech to him and like tells him the line oh I can get you're a circling failure in a rapidly decaying orbit That is always always stuck with me. That's every, that's all of it. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's crazy.

A circling failure and a rapidly. It's crazy when legends talk about it like that way because I remember reading an interview with Conan and him being like this, when I'm dead, it's like no one's going to think of me. And you're like, Conan thinks that way. Yeah. None of this means anything. But as far as like a young comic seeing there, you know, the experience guy, seeing that

fucking, man, those episodes are great. Well, that show would be so funny one minute and then it would have these. Like, kind of poignant moments where you're like, it would, I mean, dude, the episode in the Hamptons where he does a gig with Jerry. And he gets the astronaut's daughter? Yeah, and he accidentally punches her. Yeah. That's one of the funniest episodes. What he's on the phone with Jerry?

Oh, what do you think? It looks like me getting involved in this situation. Jerry's such a prick. It's so good. He's so great. He's so perfect. He's so great. So perfect.

Yeah. Hamptons, suit, talks, black. These are the billionaires and trillions of the Hamptons. There's trillionaires? I don't know, maybe. Didn't he bang Joan Rivers in one? Yeah, he kissed her. Did they bang?

I know. Yeah, no, she reluctantly was like, you got, fine. But that was, there was a, as a young comic, there was great lessons in that. Even in that one where he was, like, shitting on the casino and it was in his contract, he's not supposed to shit on the casino. And she's like, who the fuck are you to take this guy's money and then shit on him? And then to not know the manager's name. That was the other thing. She's like, you don't know, you work with him and you don't know his name?

Yeah, it had lessons for comics. There was moments where I find myself. and you're like, oh, yeah, what the fuck? I was asked to be here, be a fucking professional and do your job. Yeah. You're not above it. The Hamptons in a security jacket.

Yeah. Because he forget to Blazer. Yeah. Shows up in a t-shirt and jeans and like a yellow cat. By the way, I have been there on private event things where they're like, that's what you wore and I'm like, I don't know. I yeah, yeah. I was like, fuck I, yeah.

Oh, shit. What are these? Patagonia. What are you talking about? It's going to be me. I have the same tour manager as Louis. So I was just an Akron doing some gigs. And he was like, man, I was watching Louis' New Hour.

It's unbelievable. He's such a genius. That guy, watch him fix jokes and make it work. Hey, you know, I'm kind of like, yeah, my new hour's, I'm shooting in a week. And he's like, the Thai food's here. Remember one time we were watching Dave Atel at the comedy seller and Chappelle leaned over our shoulders to just watch Atel. And Mark turns to Chappelle and he goes, do you like Dave? And Chappelle goes, yeah, he's probably my favorite.

And we're like, Mark and I'm both like, whoa. You're like, this is pretty cool Yeah That's really cool Yeah Very exciting There's all those guys that you just tickled You know you see me like man

We're just we're just nerd now We're just like this is crazy Matt Barry gets me like that all the time Oh dude Oh Todd Ah dude he'll hit a couple of things I'll be in the back dying Dude so I was with Todd last night

He broke five fucking ribs He did Todd broke five ribs So he was walking with a walker We run into Amy Sedaris on the street Whoa And she goes oh my God Todd And she's nice at first

But then she goes, by the way, that Walker, not doing great stuff for your age. And I was like, oh, my God, you just got zinged by Amy Sedaris. He laughed. He probably heard a little bit, but he laughed. That she looked. She looks good. She looks cute. She knows how cute she was. Yeah.

Now, I'll give you that for sure. Very cute in her day. Had a crazy rack. Big fan. What are we, what are these, are these peaves or what are these? Toast. So this is stuff people, yeah. So we peeve a lot in here, as people know.

So Mark and I were like, we should be more positive. We don't always have to bond over negativity We could bond over some stuff we all like as well Yeah things that go unappreciated Like a toast like oh this is always I mean I got some peeves I wrote down too You say a toast? Yeah like a toast like to this

I like this oh okay Big man's got bread on the brain I got a peeve actually though can't do a quick peeve Please people who write you annoyingly long text And then write thanks at the bottom Because I think thanks as a substitute Is go fuck yourself Hmm

They do in emails too where they're like It's like it's like bless you your heart almost where they're just like I can't do this I can't do sorry about this thanks I don't understand that language

at all and I am so I come across so bad and I have no idea he's so yeah yeah that's what they say oh you're a bad text dude a lot of dot dot dots a lot of like

a lot of like he makes you re-explic like everybody's on the same page you're in a group text and you're like hey something he goes huh and you're like I just laid it out and like where's the

there's no like Also, trying to meet you in the middle. Big voice to text. Oh, it's a, that's a very L.A. move. The L.A. people do because they're always driving. Yeah, I can't type all that shit. It's a lot to type. You're not, you're not.

I don't do, because it never gets it right. I talk weird or my voice. No, but he's saying the voice. Oh, he doesn't know. It never picks it up correctly. And you have, and then you have to go. Then you got to go back in? I wasn't.

Are you mean the voice messages? Yeah. I do get them once in a while. That is pretty Hollywood. I like that. I just give a call. Voice that spells it out. Yeah, that's what we're right.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you meant the voice memo. Oh, those I don't like. People do. That's very European. Is it? My wife does it for like, though. Should we be like, I got an 18-minute voicemail, voice note from whoever, crazy.

18 minutes. That dude is like, they don't cut off? No. Yeah. Not in WhatsApp, I don't think. Oh, what's in WhatsApp. WhatsApp's a whole other news. I can't even go in there.

I can't do it. I have like two foreign friends and I'm like, I think this is it. That's all they talk in. I think it's over. I'm in multiple WhatsApp groups with like 25 people that are, I don't even open it. I always thought it was for, you know. I see. Hookers. Hookers. She was a hooker. You ever have this one? You ever have a guy go, can we get a photo? And you get a selfie with some guy and you realize he's on Snapchat and you're like, where's that going? Yeah. I don't even, that's going out to the

world. That doesn't exist to me. Yeah. I don't even fuck with that. How about the guy who wants a selfie, but he puts the phone down here? I'm like, what, we have to get her double chins in here? Oh, that guy. Hold it, hold it regular. He's clueless. You got to go up. Women never make that mistake. No, no. You got a hile. So what are the toast we got? Oh, a clean, healthy poop. That's a toast. That's a great one.

I love a clean, healthy poop. Don't take a lot of them, but I appreciate that. I'll add to that go one wiper. You ever wipe once ago? That was it, baby. Like a miracle. Sure. It's crazy.

You ever have a 12 wiper, and you're like, how long is this going to go? I hate the 12. It's like, Lord of the Rings. You know, that's coming the second you get involved, you're like, fuck. Yes, it's like a five napkin burger. It's coming out too slow. You're like, this is bad. Chris had a great joke on Parks of Rec.

He's like, it's like I got a permanent marker coming out of my ass. When's it top? He had a lot of really good jokes on that show. They, like, made it into the lexicon that I didn't know were from him. Oh, yeah. You ever seen that clip of him with the Kardashian joke? It did the rounds. We've got millions of views, but it's them blooper reel.

And she goes, Kim Kardashian, she's coming back. And he goes, I saw that video. She did have a lot of come on her back. And I think in that setting, it's like NBC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Offerman's like, ah, it's great. Wow. It was so funny in that.

That made the show? No, no, no. It was like, damn. No chance. It was on the Christmas special. Can I grab another beer? Really, I got it in the cooler, baby. Or you can have a hot one out of the ball?

Do you have any garage beer out there? Never heard of it. Contractually obligated. Is garage, is it good stuff? It's actually really good. I had it before this ever happened. I'm okay. I'm good, yeah.

I'm going to try to do sets later. Right. You can throw me the bottle opener? Sure. It's actually really, it's a really good light beer, yeah I love a light beer, yeah, fantastic. Have you talked to the Kelsey's yet? No, we met them, we met Jason briefly at an event that we were, we were at.

And you're big, you're big Eagles guys. Big birds guys, yeah, yeah, yeah. That must have been kind of cool. Cool, very cool. Yeah, it was kind of hit fully with the, hey, good to see you again. We never met. Wait for the wedding. He's a pro, though, because it's like, dude, that immediately, it was an event for the beer.

Immediately everybody's just like, take, read this book, and he's like. They knew he was coming to this tent. like weeks like it seemed like weeks before and even the even the places where you know he wasn't technically going to be they were all packed right it was all kids look you know autographs and stuff like that and then he does he gets over there this is pretty crazy about as far as like work ethic he gets over to the um the premiere of the short film that they did well you know a comedy thing for it for the brand really funny and he does like press before that he's meeting people there he's meeting people there watches the

thing and then he's doing stuff forward afterwards whoa they have had an after party at this bar like a 15 hour wow but the bar it was like kind of open so there was literally just it was packed with people just waiting for him to walk in and he came in and i don't think this was really scheduled i think it was supposed to be like just a chill after party he comes in he comes up to steps stands turns right around bang let's go kids meeting great kids that's the thing about like you know you know kids what is he john reap all right is he drink call back yeah he was drinking yeah that helps get through it yeah a little bit but just to just to keep going on and on and bang bang bang just you know

smile on his face pretty cool well like this but with like bigger you know we've been you know around like super famous comics where they're like hey what's up like they have to do it but it's always with like guys who look like us like a big fan cool can get a picture yeah this is like kids and you're like you see like he's like talking to like a nine year old and he's

like hey what's up buddy and you're just like man you're fucking all you have to be on all the time just coolly shit yeah that's crazy he seems he's got a good kid you're done yeah yeah he seems like he's a good personality oh yeah he's the man We saw Bert do that as well. When we did Chicago with Bert, the United Center.

Wow. He had like a bunch of stuff before it. Then Bert does, he works out. He goes up in just two hours and gets off that. And then we met with the guys from the Blackhawks. And when he's in there, he's like, he's on. He's on. They're like standing there like watching.

The term is drunk. We're talking to the machine. Yeah, you know. Yeah, he's working. Yeah. And he likes it. He's not like, oh, we got to go do this. No, he loves it.

But I'm just saying, man, the work they put us crazy good. You know who has that? Doesn't get his due? Adam Ray. Oh, dude, those meet and greets after the fucking Dr. Phil shows? It takes a half an hour, 45 to get that fucking bullshit on, the mustache, the wig. Then he goes out there, zinging, zang in the crowd. Then he does the guest interview, another guest, another guest, back in the crowd, riffing, riffing, then he does a two-hour meet-and-grit.

Wow. Crazy. Yeah. He needs a drink after all that. Yeah. That's when you realize. Like boozes, like, oh, I fuck. First few days of the road, I'm like, I don't need a drink.

Then after a couple, I'm like, I need to get fucking hammered. Of course. Just to feed something. The night they did kill Tony for the, in Madison Square Garden last year. He showed up to our studio. We were doing something with him in the morning in costume. At, dude, I mean, what, Dr. fucking kill Tony went on at, you know, 8 o'clock or whatever. He was at our studio at noon, full fucking makeup.

Oh, what a beat. He was hot. Daniel Day Lewis. Dude, the Tony one's crazy good. Oh my god That was incredible Incredible That was

I was in all watching Tony Caruso's all right I love him I was three feet away from the guy And you're like How's he getting his mouth to do that I just saw one I don't know if it's older

I don't know Forgive me if it is But he's the magician Did you ever see that one? Oh no I don't know It's I feel like it's older Because I feel like it might have been

Bigger And you know it's a doll But he does a magician Act Bruce Robbins Where's like hairs Brushback It's very like

David Copperfield. Wow. You know what? I think there's something to be said for it. Must be older. Backhanded. But there's something to be said for making it a little later.

Sure. You're ready. You're ready and you're like, I'll do whatever I got to do. He was a road dog. He was a road dog. He opened for everybody. He's always in L.A.

It's always a good hang, though. He's always a good. Yeah, it has to be Bruce Robbins. That's him. That's him in the middle with the bleach blonde. Yeah. Yeah. He's a talent.

Extremely level. Everyone's got a lane. And the nicest. Yeah. You figure out your lanes. You know? All right. Who knew it would be a fucking doctor. It's all right. Crazy.

This business. Yeah, there he is. He goes to show. You don't know what's going to pop. Oh, yeah. I mean, John Reap and that was very famous. Oh, are they twist off? Oh. Yeah, John Reap, that's crazy. Crazy. You probably don't even know who he is.

Who's John Reef? He's an older comic. Okay. He's great with kids. No. He just got called for pedophilia. What? Well, pedophia child porn. I know, I don't. I might apologize. There he is.

I mean, look, neither were great. One last comic standing. Damn. Yeah, you're really making a delineation between the two. We're splitting kids' hairs here, but yeah. Look at that. Ten counts. What does that mean?

You had ten... Ten kids? I don't know. Count them. I don't know. Can we make the text a little bigger? Oh, boy. There's two episodes.

We're doing on Reapie. Oh, you can pull back. That's fine. John Creep. Got to make it. We finished the last episode, and Mark's like, Creep. It was there the whole time.

At least I got it out. I love you're like, we don't need to do this. Perfect line. Yeah, here we go. Yeah, jammed up. He was, I think he, I think he went. Location linked to the IP cyber address from the cyber tip. E.

Clear your history, boys. Or don't watch it. Don't look at job. Yeah, that's the big one. But, uh. Yeah, you like what you like. Numerous comedy specials. Yeah, I remember, I remember watching that.

season live yeah and they went back to his hometown he did a bit in his hometown that always made me my buddy left he was funny he had a big closer where he talked about driving up in like a Camaro and he would act it out and he had the music play it was huge it would murder camera what it was dude a closer with it has a musical cue I always resented it so much yeah I mean I hate it but when it's I mean like I think of like the when you saw it live you were like who was it Cedric has one that's like where he's parking the spaceship or whatever oh no I only resented it if they were if they were like a middle

act and you have to follow it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got to follow a song and dance thing. Sure. I know. Just change the energy. Of course. Very laugh house. It's like the guy at the cellar who does the rap. I'm like, put that fucker laugh. He's always laugh. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah. No, she's not making anyone follow that. I feel like I've seen him in the middle. I think somebody got a bug in her ear. Who does the rap? That British guy, right? Yeah, British guy. I don't know his name. Cool dude. I can't think of his name. She's anytime or something. Yeah. Anytime it's something that's not stand-up. You You're just putting it. But, yeah, she doesn't make anyone follow them.

All right, good. It's fall. Time to break out those classy and warm pieces from Quince with staples like 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at just $60 and real leather jackets at prices that will make you want to buy two. You can refresh the whole wardrobe. These are great, man.

Mark, you have one of these, right? I got one of the cashmere, like, hoodies. It's so comfy. They make great. I got a suede jacket. I just got a raincoat, and they're both killer. I wear it at home. It's so comfy.

It looks great, too. It's fitted. It's fantastic. By partnering directly with ethical factories and skipping all the middlemen, Quinn saves you a lot of money, get top-tier stuff at half the price you pay with other brands. Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com slash drunk for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash drunk. Free shipping and 365-day returns, quince.com slash drunk. Either be that guy who wears your Chubbies shorts all year long or check out the new Chubbies fall collection and the comfort collection. They've got an everywhere jogger so you can look like a jogger everywhere. But it's not a bad time to buy some Chubbies original stretch shorts either. I love Chubbies. You're wearing them right now?

I love Chubbies. Chubbies is great. Yeah, I'm wearing them all the time. I like the bathing suits too. They're killer. Got some great stretch pants there. Polos, too. Whether you're layering up for tailgates, lounging through lazy Sundays or just leaning fully in the fall comfort.

Chubbies has you covered. For a limited time, Chubbies is given We Might Be Drunk fans $10 off your order with the code drunks at chubbyshorts.com. That's code drunks at chubbies short.com. Support the show and show your thighs some respect with Chubbies. Here, here. Okay. Here's our favorite. Here we go.

We might be drunk. It's brought you by Sheath. Yes. Stop settling for crappy underwear and get the best drawers out there from Sheath. Sheath underwear features two pouches, one for your dong, one for your sack. You might think that putting your twigginberries in pockets is weird, but that's just because you haven't tried it yet. Oh, shit. Trust us, it's comfort like you never experienced before.

That's all we wear. I threw up my other ones. The panties are in the garbage. It's all sheath, all day. Stock up with multi-packs and treat yourself this season. and go to sheath underwear.com and use code drunk to get 20% off your first order. Plus, sheath's underwear is 100% moneyback guarantee.

That's sheath underwear.com. promo code drunk. Get sheet underwear. Get drunk. Support the show and support your balls. Thank God. John Reap. Bummer.

A toast to not being a pedophile. That's my toast. Here, here. Hey, I'm really good. Hey, we are lucky. It's like Mark's joke. Yeah. It's a story about, I can't remember where I saw this, but it was a guy.

I can't I'm gonna butcher But it was Mick Jagger No It was a guy who was a He was dying A cancer or something like that

And like they could have saved him And he's like I want to die And he told the person He's like I've been Attracted to children Greg Stone No No

No he told Greg stone this I think it was when Greg was a nurse Yeah Greg Stone Yeah Greg is not Greg is not A tracked to children Remember that up

That's real crazy Stony who said that That is Stoney who said that slowly puts a pillow over the guy's face. You know, did you ever see, you ever hear this? I don't think so. He's told me this.

Yeah. I mean, Stoney would tell him. I think that's a hero. If you're attracted to kids and don't act on it, that's better than a guy who's not attracted to. Hero's a bit big. Well, he's going to fuck kids. Mark's like, get him a cape. This guy.

Who's the purple heart? Never did it. That's what I'm saying. He's like, I've gotten to the end. I want to get out of here. Wow. Good for him. Yeah.

That guy serves a medal. No, it is, it is good. He never did anything. Yeah. But hero is a bit much, I think. All right, key to the city. Key to the city. Give me a day.

Unless it doesn't get into any schools. He's making a cancer. How pumped are you guys? What? But it's John Candy Doc. Oh, yeah, yeah, he was just watching it. Did he die of cancer? What?

No. Heart attack. Ah, that makes more sense. He skydiving. God, he was, yeah, it looks incredible. He died in Mexico? Looks great. He's filming a movie.

I almost sent it to you. Oh, Veeter said it to me. Oh, yeah. Well, he was burning the candle heart at both ends. Oh yeah. But god damn he was so funny. I mean he killed every role yeah he's always great he's hilarious he's in all the best comp. Plains trains really showed his range. Man yeah one of my one of my honest idols love him. The fact that he could be so annoying and then you kind of just like feel for him so much in the next moment that was like I like that's a hard

fucking thing to be like you like I hate this guy and then a minute later you're like he's a nice guy I'm a piece of shit like he'd make you hate you For judging him, and you're like, oh, that's like skill as an actor as a comedian, you know? And don't slough on John Hughes. Yeah, and Steve Martin, who's a great prick. Sure, sure. Steve Martin, dude, Steve Martin in the 80s is insane. Forget about it.

Oh, yeah. But he could do a drama, too. He's in JFK. That's right. You're dead as that crab salad, my man. He was awesome in that. You had those thick Roy Orbison sunglasses on. He was pouring sweat.

Yes. Nothing worse than sweating when you're eating. In the world of Canadian docks Really did Hey a toast to a good crab salad Yeah I love a good crab salad

Hey crab salad Not too much mayo Do you ever watch the Amazing Jonathan one? Yeah Oh I heard so That's insane Well like they were shooting two simultaneously He was pinning one against the other

And smoking crack Well he's kept smoking crack The Amazing Jonathan The magician I remember watching his Comedy Central Presents as a kid Damn. Yeah, no, I remember

he was incredible. And he was doing, he got diagnosed with some, I think that might have been a big lot. I don't know. There was, you'd have to go back and like really watch it. He's telling like 50 different stories.

Yeah. And narratives while all smoking crack. Yeah. Wow. And then like they're showing them smoke crack. Yep. Yep. And then he's lying to like other.

Documentary team finds out there's another team shooting a documentary on them mid-documentary. It's really good. I said it once. I'll say it again. Again, if everything in this country worked as good as crack, it would be a lot better off. Sure. Yeah, here, here. It is batting a thousand, I guess.

We had David Cross on, and he did crack once. Right when I smoked it, he goes, I get it. I get why it's so popular. You feel great. That's not what you want to feel. When you try to dick. A little bit of crack, huh, boy? Hunter Biden, he's on next week.

I would like him on. That guy's got stories. He did Marin. Hey, Hunter, come on. Yeah. He's making them around. He did that, that dude channel 5 or whatever. Andrew Kell.

Yeah. I like that kid. Wow. That's some serious business right there. I would have Hunter on here. That would be fun. I would love to have Hunter. The Hunter's alone.

Yeah. Charge card. Yeah. There he is. Hold on. That'd be a great name for the doc. Crack Hunter Biden. Find out what's going on.

Not bad, right? I don't think he'd appreciate it. I got to hand it to him. Only Crack had to have a laptop and never sell it. Sure I mean What a while I mean that's insane

Been there Been there Definitely The Super 8 Or just the head in the toilet Where you're like I'm never doing this again Cut to six hours later

Like I could have one I'll do a bloody Barry I gotta get my head on straight That's a couple That's a couple of days up Got to even out That's a couple of days If someone hands you like a beer though

And you're just like I could fucking do one Who he's taking these pictures of them That's a great question Why? I feel like that... I feel like he's not really sleeping there. I could play Hunter Biden and some shit if I lay in the bathtub at that angle.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Could hit the gym a little bit. I could be Hunter. Why is there so much photographic evidence? Dude, he's all fucked up on crack. What do you mean? I mean...

Dude, imagine when you were real fucked up, you had an iPhone and millions of dollars. I was doing blow and stuff like that. I was worried people were taking pictures of me. I don't want any phones around. How many drunken videos do I send you? That's different. You're having a good time. I save them all.

I have a hard drive. Bomb to the bar. Yeah. Wait, did you give up the yam-jam? Yeah. Whoa, congrats. Oh, I didn't. Oh, come on.

I saw you three days ago. Don't believe what you're reading YouTube comments. Well, hey, 10 years. That's good. I didn't know you were doing that hard. Yeah, I mean, it was great. Don't let the body fool you. Yeah.

That guy could really snowblow. Damn. Were you a big Coke guy or no? No, no. I never got really big into drugs. All my friends were like, and still are. You say you either? Never done it.

Coke? Never done it. We both never done it. Okay. I was scared of it, dude. I'm not against it. I mean, I'm not judging. I had a coach when I was really young who was like,

let and bias fucking Darrell Johnson. He just showed me all the guys who died from one time. or, like, just a random... I mean, dude, we fucking lost friends to that shit. Yeah. Just like... You'll show you the good examples. Daryl Straubber.

Leon Lett. Woo! Yeah, right. Rob Williams. Darrell Strawberry was a fucking beast. Man, those guys. But he went hard religious now. Is he?

That is the side effect from doing too much drugs. You might come back as a super religious. For sure. I'm with it. But he was a fucking killer, man. Oh, yeah. I still have friends who, like, we got into drug. Like, recreational.

drugs is like yeah you know pills were real big go back to that picture of him in the fucking sweater vest who's that living restored his wife that's his wife i mean that is dude this guy was fucking in between innings he's in a fucking sweater vest gary old school wow good for him he's with the he's with the karen from the baseball game you guys see that yeah yeah yeah holy shit the lady got fired what is what is with people doing that i don't i don't like to call for the jaw it's like hey somebody's being shitty it's like so like the Twitter's always like find this person unless it's like a crime

or like a huge grieving. Listen, the whole system of it sucks from beginning to end. All of it sucks. That mob shit sucks. And now this kid's getting blown by every fucking Philly and I'm like, well hey,

I don't know if he deserves that either. Yeah, easy, John Reap. I'm saying he doesn't deserve it. But did you see the... It's bad all around. It's all around. And for the kid, it's horrible. The guy at the U.S. Open, too, who took the

doucheback. But then he's a guy he doubled debt. I agree with it. I kind of respect the double down. I do, but also I think like just, I mean I'm out of comedy.

CEO a millionaire. Okay. Doubt he started out a millionaire. Already people are going to hate him because he's a millionaire, which I also don't get, but that's another argument. But he yanks this.

Dick move. Okay. But his apology was very much like the world's tough. It's not fair. Kid should have been quicker. Keep your hands up. Have a good day.

Interesting. Okay. Just my thing is like, if it's a little kid, just let the kid have this. It's crazy. Yeah, that is. Who wants a hat from a guy, like, in that, like, how can you be so like, I'm going to run up and stand there? I don't like this. He didn't, he was giving it to the kid.

I think let the kid have the memory. Of course. The player should step in and I was giving it to the kid. He did. You know, they tell him, and then he, like, met with the kid after. Yeah, but he didn't see it there. Like, he thinks he handed it to the kid, I think. Oh, this is breaking my husband.

Dude, then they put it in a bag and hide it right away. It's like you fucking dirt bag. And this is the guy? No. Oh, these are all the retards of the comment on it. Yeah, I do think it's kind of crazy out, like, people's whole job, end or pertinent. Maybe not a job, but like, is like, he's a CEO. I know, but like, let me take it to, here's my opinion on it.

Yeah, shut up. Take an opinion. I guess we're doing it too in real time. But theoretically. You know what I hate? Is everyone having an opinion on this stupid thing? Anyway, what do you think, Foley? I think.

More at seven. No, I agree. Yeah, it's just the whole thing's sad And dumb Who the fuck wants to I mean, I get it if it's like But it's like you're a million You can just go like hey

Spend $1,100 on a hat signed by this guy If that's how much it is I don't even know who the guy is But it's like If it's that You have the means to be like I want a tennis racket

signed by this guy Yeah, I tried to get an Eli Manning signed helmet At a charity But it just kept going And I was like It's for a good cause I'll just keep paying

And then at a certain point I'm like No I'm out This is insane Yeah. There you go. Yeah. You know?

And that's it. That's it. I just won't have it. For sure. That's how you have to be as an adult. You have to accept it. No, I don't have everything. Yes.

I will say the fact that he doubled down is kind of cool because it probably shut it all down. No, it didn't. People were like, fuck this guy. Oh, right. Well, never mind. But it turned to me. I'm like, you know what? Yeah, life isn't fair.

If I can get back on that horse and ride it. Hit a guy with a car and go, hey, life isn't fair. You know? A tough break, pal. All my insurance company. John Reap, he's like, look, life's not fair, dude. Some kids are going to get jerked off to. Both have sad kids.

Is that the guy? That's a tennis player. All right, well, you got the photo with the kid. It all worked out. This is the good thing about social media. There's a little redemption, I guess. He's got to do it. You've got to get that picture in the paper.

Yeah, good point. Everybody would. Yeah, now his PR team was like, this is great for us. You'll come out looking like a hero. We just need 10 minutes with the kid. His name's Gary. Yeah Damn

This is the thing with everything's on film now folks So watch out It is crazy You used to just like Hear someone was a dick Yes I heard that guy sucks It's like well

Here's fucking It's crazy It's like you try to think like You know Play somewhat devil's advocate Like You don't think any of us Would ever do that in that situation

But like You know some of them are like Maybe you just didn't think Or whatever Raps of judgment You're caught up in the emotions He's your favorite person you're at you just watched them win you're sitting at the gate and yeah i mean you know you know

maybe that the lady in the philly thing like thought she was wrong that he came over and stole my ball sure you know it's like pack back it up why do you give a fuck that much about a fucking baseball is the main problem but then you know she looks like an asshole going over and he on at the guy yeah and then the pieces just don't work that's the haircut the glass yeah the haircut but i feel like signatures now i feel like back in the day an autograph meant more now it's like it's still it's weird it's i feel like an athlete used to make a good living Just oh yeah you're like Joe DiMaggio your retirement was like you all just sign balls right you know just chill but that's like a convention right yeah or charge it on the street were they no no no no no but they could be like here's a here's a hundred balls go charge oh sure a hundred dollars yeah we'll say I open for a comic in Vegas not gonna say his name and you probably won't even guess it but he had a hot moment he was like hot for a year I opened for him sold out you're not far off We were hanging out after, and kids were coming up to him.

Kids? You know, like. John Reap. John Raj, come on. I was right there. Like, 16 years old were coming up to him at the show with their dads and shit. Like, everybody loved this guy. And they were going, can I get a photo with my son?

He would go, 50 bucks. Wow. And he was like, the kid's like, I don't have 50 bucks. I'm a kid. And he's like, that's what I charge. And I remember sitting there like, I was so uncomfortable. Not a meet and greet. Just hanging on that, sir.

It was a meeting greet. Sorry, it wasn't a meeting greet. Sorry, it wasn't a meeting greet. But he was sitting in a table. He was sitting at a table, and I was just standing there, like, hoping for a compliment, you know. You were good, too. Yeah. Or this.

I'll do it for 25. I'll have to show up. You got a reminder of this. Yeah, but the guy was so cold, and you know what? Now he doesn't do it anymore. He doesn't work anymore. Because I think he got iced out. That'll go around.

Yeah, that'll, that'll go. That behavior can't sustain. You want to make the 50 bucks off the picture? And seeing the kid, like, I just don't have it. I got 28, and then he was like 50 bucks. I couldn't even do cameo. I would do like, I know friends who like did it for charity. I'm like, all right, that's cool.

But like, I had people hit me up and like, can I get a video? Like my wife has cancer, but yeah, I'm not, I feel weird. I feel weird being like putting that on a fucking website. Yeah. But I mean, you know, we just do. We did one. We had Ari on and we did like a funny, because he's moved. So we were like, this is you're going away.

We were like, oh, the joke was you're retiring for comedy. So we had a bunch of, we got a bunch of cameos. And I've net, we did it early on when we really needed them to keep the lights on in the studio. Who did we, we got some cameos on the pod. They're expensive. Dude, like Wayne Newton to get within, Wayne Newton, to get within 24 hours, might have been like $1,000. What? Who did we get on the pod?

Jerry? Stor, Stoller. Kenny Banyan? Fred Stoller. Buckels, don't start up with me. We were going back and forth with buckles the other day. The problem with going to see my mom is I got to take the bus out there. There's no transfigure.

Take the jacket. So good. I can't do the voices. Get to the voices. Buckle. I just, we were talking about it. We were dying.

I just watched the episode last week. Man. So funny. You better move that call, girl. And you know what you guys are appreciate this? You know what it gave me the vibe of? And when I saw it as a kid or whatever had no idea that I would feel this way about it. But it really shows like a winter night in New York City.

Yeah. Running around doing stuff. Round around. Yes. Man, it really. That's the best. There's something beautiful. Makes you feel good.

You feel like you have heart. You're like, I'm fucking. I'm fighting. to stay in this game. You really do and you really like it's so funny like in my head and you're like there's nothing at these doctors and whoever's around like this is the most important thing is me to make it to my 812 spot or whatever and you're like get out of the way hold the train I love it.

I go do art. Yes and you're like I'm contributing to the city this is like I am part of the nightlife of the city I am running around I am a cog in the wheel for the movie and all that kind of stuff right yeah papaya dogs oh dude I got a movie wreck I got a shout out two people, Todd Barry and Santino, who both told me to watch this movie. It's called Force Major. Have you heard of that? I've heard of it. I feel like I have. It's fucking crazy. It's about

like this family on a ski trip. It's from like 10 years ago. And there's an avalanche and basically the husband doesn't he runs away. I've seen this clip online. Yeah, he runs away and leaves the family. Oh, shit. And then they're all okay, but the wife doesn't respect him anymore. And it kind of goes from there.

It's pretty good. Did you start nailing somebody? You watch some movie it's a good movie you start nailing someone it's it's worth a watch it's all right it's a good flick all right speaking of running around in the city that feeling my wife's gotten and she got into the king of that yeah i i i when we do it i'm like i feel like norman yeah we used to look at you you always had a breath city bike just making it uber subway whatever the worst when you get the the liz text where are you who i hate a where are you because that means you're supposed to be on right now Yeah, sure.

When you get back in one night. Yeah, got three to nights. She screamed at me in front of a friend who didn't understand the culture, and she was like, hey, asshole, you're on around the corner. My friend was like, who was that? The police chief in like an 80s cop movie, like, you're fucking everything up, you're fucking everything up, you're basically on in the back. There's a pile up of cars.

Momming all over town. That's funny. Remember in point break? You're like, why's he being so mean to Keanu? Yeah. That was a character. That movie's the upset. The movie rules.

Great movie. Utah. But the point is, my wife's watching this high-maintenance show. Yeah, the HBO, right? The whole thing's set in Brooklyn. It's kind of a no-name guy. It changes every episode, isn't it? Every episode's a brand-new cast, brand-new thing.

McKeever did one. I think I believe McKeever directed one or something like that. It's a brilliant show. That guy, Ben Sinclair. Brilliant show, but I don't know. I'm surprised this didn't come across your radar. Mike Sherman's in it. Everybody's in it.

You're like, oh, there's Jay Jordan. Oh, there's a Parno. Oh, there's Cape Rland. or whoever. But everybody's in it. But point is he rides a bike all over Brooklyn, selling weed. And he's, like, meeting up with people. Their tiny apartment has a drink with this guy, goes and gets laid in the back of a SUV.

And then he gets back on his bike. And he shows that sunset over the brownstones. And it just gets you pumped up about living in New York. Yeah. There is something, too, doing that, like, fucking, that train calculation of, like, Should I take an Uber or is it the L to the whatever? It'll get you that, you know, that kind of thing. And then when you do have the time to be like,

I'm walking from New York 24th to the cellar or something, you throw in the headphones and you're a nice fucking spring or autumn night walking through, like walking under the arch and that west fourth, nothing's better. Street performer, there's a guy playing music, there's a guy juggling, and there's a hot girl. It's just the best. You play the... He touched my leg. This is going to sound very fat, but just sounded very simple thing.

That slice that we had, we came out, we recorded something downtown, we were in the Alita, walked over to his pizza place, I was starving, starving. Walked in, a slice each and a diet cook, me and Kippy, walk outside, Chris Bear. Oh, yeah, ate outside. I took a bite of that, man. Someone came up, was like, I love your show, can we get a picture? I'm like, how on brand is this? Dude, fat idiot. But even, even, I know that's crazy.

No, I get it. But, like, there's something about that. I'm like, I would give up, you know, a backyard and all that stuff to be, you know what I mean? That's what it is. It's crazy. I was, something about it. I'm spending the,

I have a house in the suburbs. So I was, I've been spending the summer there since we had the kid to be easier room space, help the whole nine yards. And we were hanging out with like, I went to a barbecue, but no one I knew. My wife knew one of the couples.

And I was like, you know what? Let me just go be John Q, dad, husband, suburbanite. I ended up being great, but she was like, the one woman's like,

oh, you guys spend your time in New York. Are you going to be here mostly? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I can't. walk away from New York. You're in show business.

You're a comedian. Are you an entertainer? Why am I talking to me? I do. There's something about that. She's like, why? And I'm like, I don't know. But even if I'm just coming up and I don't have spots,

I'm coming up to like record the pod, I get in the city and I'm walking on 6thav and I'm like, yeah, this. I can't explain it, but I'm part of the city. I struggled here for so long. We have it now. And we're like. And the city's moving.

Yes. It's always moving. The energy is good for common. The second I'm around total quiet and calm. I'm like, I feel, dude, when I'm in LA, I feel so isolated. And I'm like, how do I fucking create stuff here? I don't know. I'm okay.

I always feel like going on. That I don't mind. It's still a city. Yes, but just the, and plus it's, you know, fucking Hollywood. Sure, sure. On the back of your head, you have that. But can't beat New York. The stimulation, the energy, you go out in the street, any city where you,

Chicago's got it too. Certain city where you just walk out, you're like, You're like, there's a fucking energy. Oh, yeah. You feel like you're a part of something. Yeah. Yeah, you know when you go out, drink it all night in New York and you, the sun's up, you fall out of the bar and you see like a guy in the back of a truck doing boxing.

Yeah. The city's already going. Or yeah, you're like, he's like dropping off the bread. Yeah. And you're like, oh, you're like cranking a sick and you're like, ah. We're going home to have a bacon egg and cheese and knock out for eight hours. You're like, you're like passing a baton in a race where you're like, I'm going in for the night. You pick it up.

That's pretty. That's great. That'd be a great commercial for New York City. That is really good. I'm doing advertising for the city here, guys. It's like, New York City, the city that never sleeps. Yeah, I never heard that. Really good.

Yeah, yeah, but that is the best. And that's why all these cum-guzzling quefs from the Midwest or whatever, they go, I don't know how you live there. I don't know how you have the rents a million of your apartments the size of my sister's dick and da-da-da-da, you know, the fucking prime and the subway, you're like, yeah, I just like, I don't know. And by the way, we never say that to you, Dayton, Ohio. How the fuck do you do that? No.

Exactly. I mean, I see the, I see like, you know, like for me specifically, it's like, yeah, I might not buy a house. I might just stay here and rent and, you know, maybe they find me in some apartment downtown. In three weeks. As an old man. Or whatever. It's like. Oh, that's reading them.

Holy shit, boys. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. And then you think yourself, I'll accept that. I'll take that. Yeah. For this. Until Zoran gets in.

No. No, the energy is fucking. incredible man mark and i talk about this all the time but like the basis for this pod was just uh us being at the cellar the the the uh blackout shades being yeah and we didn't know what time it was and we leave and we'd be like fuck one more one more that turned into and then yeah and then you go out and it's fucking seven a m exactly and we were like wow i hate myself to even make that we try to show we try to make that a show years ago called last spot of the night last spot of the night where it was we would shoot it uh at like one in the morning yeah after everybody was running around doing their spots and we'd sit with a guest and we sat with like Schultz Donley Akka would you have tonight

how the spots blah blah blah yeah I had this one girl she was doing this yeah it was just had a bar we were literally we did it at the corner of a bar drinking we shot it in New York comedy remember when they had that other space

next door and they were gonna turn it into like a lounge was there a coffee gas for a minute I kind of like there's a coffee shop yeah the coffee shop's nice but for a while that was just they had it was a bar and we saw that we were like

and we got fucking perfect shot it there but it just never Never worked out She'd throw that up on the tube I think it even might be Oh alright It was corny And we didn't know what we were doing

It was just like that's what Oh shit I'm like we even try to do Like an audio version of it I'm like that is a show To me I mean that's what I like hearing Of like breaking down the salad

There's one person This type thing but Usually send to give those shops To people in broadcast In broadcast You always say I make good comments Watching the game Yeah yeah

I make good comments I like Mike Lupica Dude who see It's crazy though Because that's like, you probably could just rent that out as a space now. Because, like, I was in, we played that basketball tournament for Kenny DeForest, R.P. Kenny, you know, on Saturday. And it starts to rain. So we had to finish the game.

You know, we finished the game. Joe Wokowski, God bless him. He's like, he's like, we got to finish the game. It's a championship. So we find some guy's got a home in Greenpoint. And there's a basketball court in the home. And we're walking around. It's one of those luxury, all amenities buildings in a big building.

Oh, okay. Not just his home. I got you. But it's like, it's incredible. that is there still. It's like a gorgeous court. And we're walking around and they're like, oh, it's got like a little movie room down here. It's got a fucking podcast studio down there.

That's crazy. Just like, that's what is like a fancy thing in a new building now. It's like we have, if you have a podcast, you can rent that out. You can have to fucking go to war with these people, Peters. I know. Oh, yeah, they're encroaching on you. It's going to be like two rich housewives being like, what's weird about, whatever.

Yeah, no, dude, you're literally probably just have like a, you're like, oh, we'll just start a podcast. There's a studio down here. We'll give it a shot. No one ever uses that stuff in the building. I know, they never do. Even the basketball court was wide open on a weekend. I'm like... Where you can't go?

You get them, Greenpoint? A little Polish food. Greenpoint's cool, man. Polish food is so fucking underrated. Oh, yeah. It's still fucking Polish, too. There's no... You know, somebody like... No. Like a Jewish neighborhood. That was a black neighborhood.

Now it's gentrified. That shit is Polish. I got a wreck for you if you're in Greenpoint. Peter Pan Bakery, dude. Of course. Get a fucking apple fritter. Yeah, a comedy fan. I think the son of the son of the... The son of the owner or something.

He hit us up. Yes, I assume. You don't know this joint? I don't know, Peter Penn. Oh, he never been there? I've been to Greenpoint in 10 years. It's wild. You've been in this area for sure.

I used to go there all the time. I used to live in Bushwick. So we go to Greenpoint to try to meet. Also, shout out Chrissy Pizza. I'm always, uh, do you know Chrissy Pizza? Chrisie Pizza out in Greenpoint? Who's that? He was, uh, we talk about them all the time, but if we talk about good, good wrecks.

Um, he started making pizza in the pandemic kind of blew up. And then now he's got his own, uh, his own place out there. It's fucking awesome. I love a fucking baker. I just did the donut pub last week on 23rd or 14. Yeah. With the counter? Yes.

Yeah. I had a really late night. Thank you donuts. Avi and Rachel once and it was like one of the most fun nights. Oh, yeah. You just like, I'll get like eight donuts. You have a couple bites of each. You get a late night coffee.

Exactly. Louie in that episode. Yeah. Yeah. Louis did that episode with the bully in the donut pub. Mm-hmm. That's a donut pub. Yeah, dude.

Whoa. That kid's Mike Barrett. He's on the sopranos. He's my friend's friend from growing up. Bobby talks about it all the time You used to talk about it Bobby, because when Bobby talked about Bobby Kelly

talking about going there and having a coffee and this and now oh man I wanted a crawl is so bad Very New York moment to ever tell you

I walked out of Paddies one night on like 20 whatever it's out on second Ave or third Ave they used to let us they used to lock the door

and let you fucking hang out back when I was still drinking that heavy yeah and I walk out sun's up I take a cab up town I get it

I live up by the George Washington Bridge and like I get out and I stop getting like a gatorie and like a bacon egg and cheese or something or whatever and I'm like you know what I've never walked across the George Washington Bridge it's like six o'clock in the morning you know in the spring so it's like getting kind of nice I'm like this is amazing I look like shit I'm like fucking dude there's a guy there before they put the net up there was a guy in a booth now there's they put the railings up but it used to be just like 40 people caught in there scrimber around like mosquitoes and I don't and I didn't I didn't realize that I'm sitting there and I'm walking across the bridge just being like, this is amazing.

Look how cool this looks. And the guy's like, a guy walks up to me like, how you doing, man? He's thinking I'm jumping, dude. I'm like coming. I'm stumbling down. I'm by myself. He's crying, though. Yeah.

Shit, he's beautiful. I love the pod. Yeah. Don't do it, man. You're not garbage, man. It's not that serious. You'll be on crashing one day. Jump off a bridge is pretty garbage.

Yeah, that is a garbage way to go. Yeah, what are the more, what's a sophisticated suicide? It's like a garbage thing. That suicide pod seems pretty classy. You've got to have money to get to Switzerland or wherever that is. There's a suicide podcast? No, it's that pod. Oh, suicide pod.

Yeah, and these new buildings, they got them. We have no sponsors because we won't be here. You can go to Switzerland and get put in a little... I like how you Googled Best Ways to Kill Yourself and it said help is available. Of course. That's betterhelp.com slash we might be drunk. Suicide pod. Fuck that.

Well, because it's illegal to do... Like, in a lot of people, if you're like really sick or something, Youth in Asia, they call it. Yeah. Right? Which is such a weird word. Youth in Asia. It's like a young Chinese girl.

Youth in Asia. That's what I hear. Yeah, same. Yeah, no, that's what I thought it was for like way too long. I thought it was in a band. You're dying like a dog. Yeah. But didn't that comment, I'm drawing a blank of his name.

He was fucking from Kill Tony. Michael. Lerner. He did it. He did assist. I believe he did assisted suicide. He's dead? Yeah, yeah.

I think he took his life in like Seattle. No kill. And how does that... How does... No, Airman? Oh, fuck. He's super funny. Oh, that guy was a good actor.

Yeah, great actor. Michael, I think it was Lerner. Ler. I can't believe... So how do you do... I don't get what the pod does. It's like a... No, it's like you go in and you press up...

Because no one can administer the drugs for you. So you go in... I think it's just like in the woods in Switzerland. What about a guns, pills, car engine? What do you call that? Carbon oxide. In the garage? Yeah, that's the classiest. It's talking with the kids to see.

Yes, exactly. A little memento. That doesn't need to be that futuristic. Yeah, this is crazy. I mean, that looks too cool. I want to get in there. It looks like the movie with Chris Prad and Jennifer Lawrence. Yes. Looks like a wave runner. Yeah, I mean...

That wasn't bad. It was a good movie. Was it? I don't remember. But a kid's going to get in that thing. It looks like a spaceship. Yeah, it's in Switzerland. My little more Switzerland is... Oh, they're opposed.

Floating over that thing? Flood of Switzerland's a strange place. Yeah. Yeah, they get freaky. We don't want to get involved in any wars, but come here and kill yourself. Yeah. Right. Number one in quality of life, by the way.

Yeah. Yeah, they're crazy. You know what traffic ticket can be up to one year or a one month salary? It's dependent on how much you make. What? Yeah, speeding ticket in Switzerland. It's funny. Every country's got their thing.

Like, come to Turkey for a hair transplant. Come to Switzerland to kill yourself. Yeah, there you go. But maybe if their quality of life is so good, maybe if someone wants to kill themselves, they're like, they really want to go. Do you see if he did his sister suicide, right?

He chose the assistance of a doctor. Yeah, Michael died with dignity on his own terms. That his life part of him. Yeah. Remember when he did... Andrew Nice Clay. Oh, so good. This was when he killed Tony was still at the Vulcan.

They brought him up. I think he was in a wheelchair. He was in a wheelchair at the time. They got him on stage. And, dude, he did Andrew Nice Clay. Fucking. Yeah. So good.

Like, in not great, like, he was in very bed. shape but still hitting the fucking notes working the crowd and we were like killing that was my first introduction to him it was yeah I didn't know he's in a wheelchair this changes shit yeah no he was yeah he was he was in uh he was in he was in pretty bad shape all right

super funny that is super talented super funny and the push through all that unbelievable RIP this guy yeah he was fucking awesome damn but still I don't understand why not just do it yourself I don't think he had the I don't think he had the capability to do it himself at the end.

What can do it for free? Oh, he couldn't even... I don't know the deeds, but I think it got to a point where he couldn't. Got it. Like somebody here, if he was like, I want a gun, they'd be like, we can't give you. Remember Dr. Kvorking? It was this huge moral debate. Yeah.

Played by the Great Al Pacino. Is what he's doing ethical, or is it evil? He was doing at a hotel downtown or something like that, wasn't he? What was it doing? You're not getting a great doctor. Yeah. Me at the best Western. I have points there.

Gavorkian. Yeah, that's right. Like, I only know that name. I know. It's synonymous with killing, you know, assisted suicide, yeah. They called him. So weird. He doesn't look friendly.

No. Oh, yeah, that guy looks like death. He looks like a Nazi doctor. What was his deal? He was helping. He was doing assisted suicide. Just out of kindness? Yeah, people looking for escape.

Some people who are in great pain, if you don't believe in the after, life and the people who are suffering, you think you're helping them. Did they put him in jail? I think that was the big thing. I don't know if he ever went. Why is he in that wheelchair in court? He had to go to court. Damn.

Fatal injections. 10 to 25 years. Damn. Eight years. Served eight years. Wow. He always knocked that down, don't they? Yeah.

Someone in prison's depressed. He's like, let me talk to you for a second. Bring your bed sheets, will you? There's an easier way. I heard that's what got Epstein Oh, yeah Wow, good times Good times

The 90s were wild It was like a different fucking The OJ I feel like that opened the door Though to everything To the you know What's that? Everything watch everything

Everything Oh yeah yeah The OJ thing Right Yeah Everything you know Pamela Doc was 90s It was just so surreal I remember we were on senior week

When that happened and just him driving down that highway on that white Broncos. I got Gendison. He wants to go see his face. Poor little pinkis. I remember watching S&L with my friends when I was 14 and they went,

Breaking News. Diana has died. Wow. I remember where I was, what time it was. Sure. Crazy. I remember Phil Hartman.

That was one that hit me. Oh, where were you? I was just watching TV and it came on like comedian Phil Hartman has been shot dead by his wife. And I was like, what the fuck? Damn. Because, you know, obviously,

Who wasn't a big Phil Hartman fan? Sure, sure. Kobe was a monster. That was a later one. Crazy. That was brutal. That was like the beginning of the end. That was like a month and a half before COVID.

Yeah. That was like, you go back to like January early that month. I'm like, holy shit, we didn't know how good we had it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then Ari lost his whole career. What was this? It's his son.

What? Yeah, because there was a standoff in the driveway, right? For a little bit. What is this? Just take him out of the car. I'm like, what's going on? I know. He had a gun.

Well, can't they put eight guns on them? Yeah, something. I mean, I mean, I think the whole thing is they didn't know how to deal with it. It's like. Someone get Jack Gavorkin on the phone. We hostage negotiator Jack Gavorkin. He's so funny. As soon as he did this, everyone knew.

Yeah. What are we doing? Yeah, you're not innocent. And by the way, crazy. The Bronco went away and made a great comeback. The Bronco is killing it. Yeah, I mean, well, he killed production of that car for 30 years. Was it that long?

I mean, what year was this? Yeah, this is 94. Yeah, they didn't come back till 20, 21. Vintage's killer. Wait, really? The, even not just the white ones, everything? I think, I think, yeah, I don't know when they, I mean. Mullaney had a great joke about it.

He's like, imagine doing something so bad they get rid of the Camry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good point. Yeah. Can you imagine being the, like, the guys that at Bronco, like, oh, fuck. I know. That's suck. I just put in a pool at my ass.

I was, uh, there was a bar in Philly, a dive bar in Philly, and there was sitting there, fucking, before I started doing comedy, and there was a Hizman up in the corner, and we're like, me and my brother sitting there were like, is that a fucking Hizman? Like, there's no way that's real. And then we asked the bartender, we're like, dude, is that? He's like, yeah. I'm like, who's this is it? He's like, you'll never guess. He's like, OJ's. Get out of here. Because if they, he had to sell all that stuff when he lost the civil suit. Well, he got found guilty in the civil suit. He had to sell everything. That's why he went back in. That's why he went back in. That's why. when he went to jail. What did it go for is what I want to know? I don't know. He's like the owner bought it off a guy who bought it off a guy who bought it. Because remember he went to jail for breaking in and stealing all of his memorabilia back? That was stuff that he had pawned, that he had

sold. It's fucking awesome. He's crazy. That is hilarious. Wow. Yeah, I'll say you this jersey. We're rumy in. Stold in an auction in 1999 for $25,000 to help pay for damages. But yeah, one guy needs money, so he sells it, then another guy. Yeah, like it just went down the road to this

50 bucks. Yeah, if you, if you have that money, but you also willing to buy that, you're probably not great with money. Yes, yes. So you might be in a pickle soon. Yeah, you probably have, like, the exact amount you're willing to pay. Imagine what ends up on storage wars. That's Anacolk-Smith's pill jar.

We did that on Patreon. You did storage war? That was not stores. We went and, like, went to an auction. That was, like, one of the goals for, like, we'll go buy, fucking, we'll go by. It's a, it is a wild scene. Got a mint-conditioned Mickey Mantle card. Shut out.

Now. Now. Some woman's going to be a bunch of metal blades and fucking a bunch of spiders. going to be on in like 50 years being like, my dad had this, and the guys are going to be like, well, you're not going to believe this. This is O.J. Simpson's Heisman Award. She's going to start crying. She's, like, this is amazing. This is John Rick Setless.

I'm paying for my kids college. This is Cosby's sweater. I'd probably that's still gross out. I would buy that. He's probably got a lot of them, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, we could raise some money. That's true. You get some good will back. Oh, yeah. Wow.

The juice. That was true, too, back in the old day. Not the old days. I'm acting like we're 90, but you'd see cool shit at a bar. Yeah, we're just like, oh, that's, yeah, whatever. Right. You'd pull up a Mad Rashad's best man photo. We were still smoking in bars in Philadelphia at that point.

Remember you go to, it goes 2006, seven? Put a restaurant there's like jerseys behind glass. Look at Ahmad Rashad, look at Ahmad Rashad, the athlete's best men at his wedding. Oh, wow. That's his best man. O.J. and Cosby. No shit. Man.

That's. Guys, like, these are my two best friends forever. Wow, and William Stevenson did the inauguration, the officiator. William Stevenson, rest in peace. Well, you got the whole cast there. Is that Lisa Bonnet and Felicia Rashad? Yep. It looks at it.

They're sisters. Harvey Weinstein's at a picture here, but yeah. That's crazy. You got a plate of crab salary. All right. Sorry, that's all right. Oh, man. Damn, that's wild.

That guy can pick them. Mm-hmm. Man, talk about that's fucking. nuts. Oh, he married her? Yeah. Oh, okay, okay. Got it. Damn. Good time. That's a rough wedding wedding album. It's also crazy when you hear

how mean Bill Cosby was to Eddie Murphy. Sure. Really? Yeah, he was a real dick to him. He's like, you're too dirty, you suck, you know, real comedy. And Eddie's like, geez, I looked up to you. Oh, you called him. I'll try to call him on the phone. Yeah. After he watched Delirious. I always say If someone is too outspoken about something

They're hiding something Yeah he's too He's like you gotta pull your pants up You gotta be Blah blah blah you gotta act right And whatever and not curse Well being self-righteous about it There's no need like you could be a clean comic

And people are like Wow that's cool that you're able to do that clean But then the guys who are like I only like clean comedy That's kind of weird to me too Yeah Yeah like in one thing Yeah he loves Simon

Love Pryor Yeah That's true Yeah That is weird. I saw a great, it was like a meme or something. It was like, damn, Seinfeld's so rich. He just pays the other most famous comedians in the world to make them laugh.

That's all comedians and cards is. Just like, hey, come here and make me laugh for an hour. You're like, wow. The waitresses rolling their eyes. Because it's two fucking goofballs going, oh, what's that? Coffee? Blu, blip. I'll butter your bread.

Yeah, but come off. You're a waitress. That's not the worst day. You're waiting on Jerry. You're waiting on Jerry. Alex Baldwin was good with that when he went out. on a bowl of pickles. Oh, yeah.

Chicken salad. He's got a great... It's been making the rounds with Sarah Jessica Parker because she's like, oh, he's like, oh, what's a tip here? And she's like,

I always tip 25% or something. And he's like, no. No, she's like that. Yeah, no, that's what she said because she goes, I always tip 25%. He goes, no. He's like, because every,

you're going to say, this waitress is going to say, I waited on Sarah Jessica Parker and they're going to go, the first question is, what did she tip? Yep, yeah. You can't, their answer

can't be seven. it has to be 50 bucks a hundred bucks i thought she said that to him no he said it to her that's so funny because she went because i waited on her whoa and she knocked it out of the park she said 25% so maybe she had a misspeak that's the thing too but people misspeak sometimes on these things and then it's there forever 25% is still solid that's not when you're jerry seinfeld yeah yeah when it's like baldwin said that too in that episode you know we have to leave like a thousand dollar tip exactly because it's us how'd she look Great.

Yeah. This was 10 years. I mean, she was beautiful now. 10 years ago. Mark's got a thing for me. I got a bit of a... I like her. Oh, yeah.

The best. Big the horse mug. I like it. Yeah. Um, is she Jewish? I don't know. But she came off great in this. She looks like every girl I grew up with.

Really? The big honker. Yeah. The blonde. A buddy Dave Jessica used to hang with her back in the day and he said she was the coolest. Yeah. Yeah. She seems cool.

Yeah. She was awesome. I would like her on this. Why can we get her on? Can we pull Sarah Jessica Parker? I'll take her husband too Yeah I would like Dude I good movie wreck with him

You ever see you can count on me No No Great fucking movie I'm a big fan election That's a great Home runny You can count on me great movie

Is that Rufelo? Yeah Oh wow That's a great flick Huh Kenneth Lonergan man Rory Culkin The weird Culkin

The Sleeper Culkin Hey Colkin's got to eat baby 95% on Rock It's really good 2000 Who else is It's like a dromedy. It's solid as hell.

Okay. Oh, Josh Lucas. He's always good. And Gabby Hoff. She was good and now and then. Amy Ryan, she's good. Great cans on Nina. Yeah.

Garberas, quite a couple of yabos. Gabby Hoff was a little girl in a film of creams. Is that right? I believe so. Yes. Good poll. Probably's fucking good with movies, dude. Hachy-machi.

Do we do a couple more toasts? Get some good vibes? I need another beer. Can I grab another beer from you? Please. We got Legion of Skanks after this. I'm rolling it into a fucking... You got to get ready.

Buckle up. You guys are in the zone today. I love it. I got to slow down. Yeah, I'm chilling. I'm hitting lunch at a nappy poo. I know. In the studio.

Where you going? I'm going to hang on to it though. Yeah. Thank you, brother. I don't want to waste a cold one. Football season is a toast. Not having to type in your password. That's the best one I've heard.

That is a huge one. That's great. Oh, when it just does the face thing, oh, God. one guy wrote titties we can all get behind that Titties is canceled plans is another great one This guy's on my wavelength Cancel plans is a biggie That's big

Was it Malenia at the bit where it's almost like better than heroin? Yeah Todd Barry had a great bit too Yeah My wife was having a party The other night She's like I'm gonna have some people over And in my head I'm like

People really And she's like yeah I don't have to be She loves entertaining She wants to bring we have a cool house She wants to bring people over And sit out in the backyard And have some drink Which is great

And you need the yin and yang I'm the company guzzler, ah, this sucks. Do you hang with them when this happens, or do you hide out? I pop in and out. No kidding. I do my time, and then I recharge, and I go back. Really? Yeah, it's hard. Are any of them common friends?

Like, or they're all, like, based from, they're all from her world. They're on her world, but they're cool. She has good taste, except for me, blah, blah, blah. Just meant, like, there's no, like, you can dip in and out. Oh, yeah. Look at you. Well, I have to. If I stay out there, I'll start twitching and shit.

It's too hard. Whoa. When it's your home, you can kind of the advantage you can put on the slippers. He can kind of be like, oh, I'm going to figure this out. I've got to go check out the water heater. I'll be right back just down there hitting it. I'll get a cup. Oh, I'm a big.

I'll run to the store. See you later. Now I'm at Target with a beer buzz, you know, like wandering the aisles, like Lubowski. That's pretty good. Yeah, so. Everybody gets that. She was having this party, and, you know, the whole town, like, ah, the party's a week away. Like a party party party?

Like 20 people, drinks, music. Food? You don't got to be out there with her. I'll do half of it. I'll do, you know, a little bit. I can't do the whole thing. I just can't do it. I'm sorry.

They got a big place. He can hide. A lot of hiding. And I got the baby. I got to check on the baby. He needs a diaper change. Mark literally had a baby as a buffer. 100%.

That's great. I'm upstairs with the baby. Like, this is great. He's screaming at my face. I'm like, I don't care. But the point is she's having the party. Bummer. Then the day before she goes, you know, I got so much going on.

My work. The baby. I'm canceling the party. I was like, oh, what are you crazy? You cancel the party? She's like, I'm going to cancel it. It's a whole thing. And I'm like, ah, and you're like, I'm so bummed.

Yeah, got to do what you got to do. You got to meet time. You got to, you know, have some hang time for yourself. I like that. Do that. What do they call it when you're working on yourself? Rejuvenate. Here's the problem.

She's going to have another party. There's going to be a makeup party. Yeah. She's going to, you didn't get off the hook. You dodged the temporary. She's got all the paella. No matter what. You're never.

If you have that arrangement, that setup, you're never on the hook. Be grateful for that. All right. You be doing shit. Are you guys on the hook? I mean, you're really, but you don't, I mean, you don't do anything. No, but I would not be able to get away with that at all. Oh, really?

Not even close. Oh, wow. You're not going to be. Not even close. Well, it's one of the perks. You're a jovial, funny guy. I hate, what do you mean? I'm going to blow my brains out in those situations.

I know, but they don't know that. Her friends think, oh, Foley's coming. He's a comedian, he's a funny guy, he's a podcaster, he's quick, he's witty. So that makes it worse. But you get drained by it. Yeah. I feel the same way. Didn't I see in my room?

Didn't I hide in the room one time? Yeah, no. His girl and our friend were stopping by. They were changing. Something happened. She was stopping by with a friend for like a half out or whatever, 20 minutes. That's enough. To do something and be like, hey, I'm just going to, we're going to pop in.

I'm going to get changed. And then we're going to go to dinner. And he went and facted like you was. sleeping in the bedroom. Meanwhile, it like noon. But I wasn't asleep. I don't mind.

I don't mind it that much. It is draining. It is for, I mean, anybody with our kind of, you know, social habits, it is draining.

They don't understand. Like, she'll catch me, looking at my phone, and she's like, why aren't you out there? I'm like, because I'd rather do this.

Yeah. You think if I wanted to be out there, I wouldn't be out there? Most of if I wanted to be there, I'd be there. I never do that to her. I never go, why are you having fun?

Why are you having a party? You know, I never hit her with it, but you get it all the time. So you do take a little heat for this. Well, sure. All right. It is, he's abroad at the end of the day. No, look at this wrong.

She's not happy. I got you. I respect you for holding your line. Yeah. I'd crumble and go out there, but hey, you guys doing it? Mark is an introvert. I feel that way, too. I don't, I can socialize, but then I need to recharge.

It doesn't give me energy to be out socializing. No. I enjoy, just because I enjoy it doesn't mean it doesn't drain me. It's what alcohol is for, really. Yeah. It fuels you. I can stay a little longer. I got a buzz.

Have a coffee, too. Coffee help me. A nighttime coffee is so underrated. Grab me a fucking pop. If I find, that's a peeve. Coffee shops, thank God for New York, but you're on the road, sometimes.

These places are closed at like 1.30. Yeah. I like a nighttime or at least an afternoon coffee. Oh, yeah. I like that. I just said it today. You guys me wanted a coffee this morning? I was like, you know what?

I keep having coffee in the morning. I get anxiety. I don't want to deal with it. And after we came out of something, we were doing something. Came out of that. Like, now it's time for a coffee. Yeah, and we stay in a lot of hotels in that.

They have that Starbucks in the lobby. And that shit will shut down at like 11. I feel like it's never open. Yeah, I woke up at 10.30. There's a tease. Going to those rough, those bad hotels where they have that stuff and finding out that the person checking you in is also running back there to do that. Yes, I've just had that.

I don't want to put you through that. I know. Those two big cast in there. Just the coffee with the creamers piled up with the creamers piled up. Let me do it. Oh, I love that, dude. Love it. Oh, it makes me happy.

A little splash, a little something. Have a cup, whatever. I'll do it. I'll do a toast to the first sip every morning. Fuck. Great. That first sip, I'm like, I feel, even that placebo effect, I know the caffeine hasn't technically hit me yet, but I know it's coming, and I feel fucking alive.

I feel rejuvenated. I'll throw one French vanilla in. Ooh, fancy pan. I'm with you? Yeah, but you know, it's crazy. When you go to 7-Eleven, they have all the flavors. Oh, I know. I don't, that's hard.

High fruit, toast, porn, sir. and the pump. It's nasty, but every once in a while, I'll do it. If it's Christmas morning, fuck it. Yeah, so my Wawa's really classy because Wawa has the actual cartons, like the little quarter... Oh, yeah.

Like, did they sell, kind of? They take them from the... Real nice. Wawa Shouts... You hit a Wawa or Sheets on the road. I'm always fucking happy. Never disappointed with a Wawa or a sheet. We're a big star...

I mean, now that you have Uber Eats, it's like wherever you are, there's enough Starbucks, too, that it's like, when we travel, like, our whole team, everybody knows everybody's order. So it's like, I'm getting in an order, what do you want? And it'll meet you in the lobby, or it'll meet you at the venue, or whatever the fuck it is. Wawa's cold brew holds right up to Starbucks, too. I think it's better.

Quality. I think Starbucks says that burnt, bitter shit. I don't love it. A little bit. I kind of need it a little bit. Yeah, I'm a Starbucks. You like to burn on me. Because it's at least when you're gone, you're like, at least I know what I'm getting.

It's consistent. It's very consistent. There should be, but, dude, you go to some in, like, a small town or whatever, and you're like, let me get back there and fix this up. I've been to enough that I know. You can't make an egg bite. I know how it runs. I don't hate those egg bites. I hate them.

I like, I like, yeah. I like, yeah, I'm, look, I'm going to choose the mom and pop spot for anything. Like, diner, coffee, whatever. You just want it. But every once in a while, you're like, all right. I crush them egg bites. We love it. Yeah, we're big egg bites, no carbs.

You know, it's crazy. That's not why I'm eating them, but. Oh, okay. It's crazy about coffee is, if I don't get coffee, I get the headaches. You ever get that? You're kidding. I get the coffee headache, which I eat. Are you up in the morning making a cup of coffee at the house?

I have at least one a day. Okay. Do you make it at home? I do. I do the curing. God, you got to get out the curing, man. We'll get you a good coffee maker. Yeah, but it's just so easy.

It's just the speed. I don't want to clink, clink, and twist and steam. Boil water and press and wait and let it fucking cultivate for six hours. You can do it right. French, French. The Jamaican cunt to knock it out. But my point is, making the coffee. I forgot my point.

Oh, so I get the headaches. Headaches. Now, here's what's. crazy about the mental the human brain I can you know you know the headache is withdrawals you have the coffee no more headache if you sniff and smell the coffee it goes away

because your brain knows you're about to have it yeah it's kind of like when you see a toilet and you got a shit you got to shit more yeah you know when you have to shit you're like all right I got I got a hole in this thing I can make it and then you see the toilet and you're like that's the same with the coffee dude there's no more dicey situation than when your pants are coming down

and you're going down on it. I'll tell you what else that. Talk about critical moment zero. If you're on a flight and someone smells like complete shit, you just have a little fucking couple coffee grounds. You sniff it, you're good. Oh, there you go. Oh, that's good.

Strong smell. They tape a coffee thing up in the bathroom sometimes on planes. I never know what that was. That must be. Oh, maybe that's what it was. You put the coffee bag in there to kill the smell? Tape a coffee bag right on the wall. Really?

Yeah. I didn't know that. Damn. Pull this up if you can there, Faddy. Cop of Java. Nigerian on an Air France, they walked down spraying Fabriz. And a lot of people are upset about it because the B.O was so out of control that they had to spray. There it is.

It went viral. First one, Air France. There's a couple people. Yeah, it looks like there's a couple videos of it. They literally walk up and down crop dusting with perfume. Anybody that doesn't know that that you smell or gets offended by that is insane. That's what I said. Bad people, when you're around in a closed space with someone who has got really bad B.O., it's tough.

Wild. I think it's a racial thing, so it got weird because they're all Nigerian. I think there should just be a thing where if that's the case, it's like if you have a booger. But it's tough to say to someone. It's different than a bugger. Booger's a quick fix. This is a light. Yeah, this is you don't smell good.

There was a guy on my tour. This is your whole family. There was a guy on my tour who didn't smell great. And I had to just be like, I don't want to say, it was a crew of us. So I don't want to pull them aside So I had to be on the bus like Everyone you have to stop You have to start wearing deodorant in the shower

And everyone like nodded I'm like can't say who it is Oh that's good way I don't want to I don't want to pull them aside I thought that was mean That's good I think but like you know I mean

Pull them aside is great Well probably that's a better move Because it didn't work Hmm Really Look at they both went up and down With the spray These are French people doing this

Yeah A lot of fucking nerd I know that's ironic right A lot of balls But yeah I thought that was interesting. And I've been on an African flight, and it stinks. I'll tell you right now.

But yeah, it didn't work. That is crazy. That's crazy. I mean, like, also it didn't work for a day, and then they were like, yeah, fuck it. In a comedy setting, you should be able to like, buddy. You know, we all call really, it's like balls and strike. Hey, buddy, you got a fucking. Well, it's a hard thing to.

You don't want to do it in a group because it's kind of like, oh, that's kind of me. And then if you pull someone aside, it's weird to be like seriously like, hey. I think the group gives you the. You're breaking balls. It's like, oh, dude, you got a, hey, go via, go hit the speed stick or something. Somebody's got a bugger or bad breath. I lay it on them. Hey, by the way, you know, take a big gum.

Really? Not you. No, no, no. Yeah. Oh, you're playing along. I remember we did a roast once, and every joke about this comic was about how his breath stunk. And he was like, at the end, he was like, why did anyone tell me? Yeah.

Shoot me straight. Oh, my gosh, shit. We should have, yeah, shoot me straight. There's a seller comic who has bad breath every single time I talk to him. and it's like one of those piercing where you're like god damn like this is beyond like a bad tooth

yeah it's beyond a son beyond be a salad this is BBO yeah this is crazy yeah bacteria yes I wonder who this is I'll tell you later

but I always want to say something but I'm like if it's ongoing it feels worse because it probably is some real problem sure not just like a but there's no way you can't cover that up like hey man is there no way isn't it dentist I don't know

but some people might just have bad breath I don't know It's like a rat in the walls. You've got to get in there. You know what I mean? Hey, buddy, you've got a rat in the walls. Yeah, exactly. That's great.

Hey, that could work. Yeah. The wall. It's funny. Wow, so the guy still stinks. Yeah, it's not great. Good guy, though. Yeah.

That's wild. That's all right. Good guy, friend of yours? Yeah, he's a friend. Yeah. Tell him. I will. Yeah.

You've convinced me. Just have him watch this. Was it a cult? Cut it. I tell him, I just hear a gunshot at the other end of the phone. I'm like, oh, fuck. Well, a phone call would be weird If somebody calls you and tells you you think

From fucking 30 blocks away You really stink We got to talk That's funny That'd be a funny That'd be a funny sketch Intervention for like stupid shit Like a BO

You smell bad Yeah What were you gonna say? Oh I've told this story before But you know the comic James Smith I love James He's a ball busted mean Son of a bitch

He was very blunt But he was one of those negative guys That wasn't draining He was fun Yeah, I don't know him. Underrated comic, killer comics. He's in Sydney, Australia now. We had good hangs with him, man.

Good jokes. Killer comic, really funny. But I got, we had a couple drinks of the cellar, and we got in a cab to go to a house party. And the cabby, of course, cliche, smelled like shit. Smelled like B.O. Crazy B.O. It was like coming through the glass, BBO.

And I go, oh, man, this guy stinks. It was like, you know, head out the window stink. And he goes, hey, mate, you smell like shit. What the fuck's wrong with you? Take a shower, mate? you're working and you're in a car all night you smell like shit you're gonna hurt your customers you're getting no tips or whatever he's just being funny and the guy was like fuck you fuck you so I'm like so uncomfortable because this this australia guy's yelling at this like uh crazy afric

Ugandan guy and he did not take it well huh so you never know some people get mad about that shit well I don't get mad they don't take a shower I don't think I don't think that guy's you don't think I mean those guys are we're crazy shit you don't you feet feel better after a shower? Do you want to take a shower? Of course. Are you a morning shower guy? Do you wake up and shower?

Do you do it before you go out of night? I do it at all times, but usually in the morning. Same. I mean, I'll go to bed a little ripe. Same. I can't. I'd rather shower tonight. If I'm like that, unless it's like I'm getting home, unless I need to be quiet at the house

for like whatever, sleep and baby sleep, but it's like, yeah. You get a better night's sleep for sure. Yeah, yeah. I started doing that on the road. We get back from the bar and I'm like, you know what? I'm just going to fucking jump in the shower. and you wake up, you feel better. It just...

Shut it down. Yeah, shut it down. You know what gets me is the winner. You do the coat all day. So then it's just a hot box. Yeah. Or so, you know? And then you get home, you're like,

God damn, I show it. I still, but it's just, you're cooking your pits for 12 hours. Cooking the pits. Lightweight jacket. Casual jacket. Fucking on January here in New York. You need a goose down.

Heavy bike. Yeah. So... A Canadian. Goose. Good to have you, James. Yeah, let him go. I like it. We love you, James. Now, here's the question. Is this equality? Because I would go,

ah, he's an African guy. I'm not going to say, or he's a Muslim guy. What does that have to do with anything? I agree, but... Well, culturally some groups do smell worse. Who? I don't want to name it. You see, you won't name them. Okay, but what is in the... There's nothing in the text of culture that says, hey, you got to smell bad.

Now, this is a good thing. No, but they just don't wear, they don't wear deodorant, right? Is that because... I just... I just... I can't, we're wearing any of the books as to say, lay off the Old Spice. I don't think, I mean, we don't have a book about American culture. There's no book. It's just like, we all have decided that we wear Old Spice.

Everybody wears deodorant. It's good to where. In India, they don't do that. There's also hippies who wear the natural deodorant shit. And that doesn't work. That petroles. If you were in Tom's of Mains, stay away from me. Yeah.

You need some aluminum in there. Yeah. Something that are. You know, it works pretty good. I don't think it's pretty natural. That's what was native. Easy. You gotta get savage deodorant.

But there would be the argument that if you went over to, if you were. Yeah. If you were a cab driver in India and you smelled like fucking vanilla sky axe body spray, they'd get in and be like, dude, this car stinks. Like fucking shit. Why don't you go home and take a shower? They should make it like a deodorant. It should be like a yellow checkered colored case and it should just say 18 hour shift. Oh.

I'd buy that. I'd be like, this is going to work for 18 hours. You would. but they won't. They're not buying that. Well, a hat on. Don Draper. You're driving a cab for 18 hours. You know what else? You smell like shit. You're indie. You're doing for other people. Like, when you go with a cab

and you just smear it on the glass and now you're smelling good. Like the whole cab's smelling good. You can bring a little travel, uh, liceole, Fabriz, whatever. There should be a milder version of the stuff that every cop puts on when they walk into the smelling shit. The, um, uh, coroner's office. Yeah.

Yeah, we shot them in the river. They do that. Genius. Yeah. Damn, you'd be a good cop, dude. You'd be a good fucking cop. Hey, I could have done that on the road when I was eating ass. Just a little, uh, just to give me that gel. Take care of it. A little mineral ice.

A little beeholes that really. Yeah. What was his name? Why did you still go in? There you go. Oh, fuck. That was a shooter. That was just, that was a...

I'm going to need some of that stuff now. I love that we're talking about smelly stuff. We're like, you know what hates me, smelly stuff? Marks just like Yeah I didn't fix I think those rippers never really smell that bad

Like a ripper Oh my No those are usually Your farts are more For comic effect Than stench I suppose Yeah Yeah when I can

When mine come out with no sound Look out run You got that right Who I just hear a When you set a bomb off In an elevator And you're like fuck

And then someone hits Another floor You're like fuck Yeah Get me out of here The clock is ticking Oh yeah Hotbox

That's funny Oh, man, we should fucking wrap this. We've been on the... Oh, yeah, geez, we've been going. Gold beans. We'll plug some dates. You guys are... Obviously, you guys know the RU Garbage Pod.

They're the best. Our tour is starting up. We're going to be in... At the end of September 23rd, we're hitting San Francisco, then Portland, Seattle. Ooh, I know the book. Going to be in the coast. A couple weeks, boys. Boston, Atlanta, Raleigh, North Carolina.

A bunch of, a bunch of dates. Philadelphia. We're doing the MET in Philadelphia. Get them tickets. The boys are coming home. Chickens are coming home to Root. Who's having sex with the hen? A rooster of sex with everybody.

Yeah. Check out the show. Toronto, man, you guys are everywhere. I love it. We're trying. All right. Tickets are slow. Let's go.

It's hard times. When are we starting this? Yeah. Saudi Arabia. Jesus Christ. Milan. Dublin. You did that already?

Liverpool. It's coming. London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, Salt Lake City, baby. Five shows back for the second. time this year. Reno Nevada and Carnegie Hall. New York. December 4th, baby.

Can't wait. Look at that. Carnegie Hall. Don't hate it. Nothing wrong with that? Mm-hmm. Uh-oh. Where the hell am I? A hell stinky funny bone. Holy hell. Stockholm Chuckle Hut, Dublin, Ireland, the Vickers Street

Valley Center. We're in Baltimore at Magoobie. There you go. Known as Timoone. I'm going to build a new hour. Lincoln Theater in D.C. Codex Center in Rochester and Iagraph San Diego and Pryor Lake at the casino, Minneapolis, coming in for a cash grab. Oh, that hitting the ATM machine.

Yeah, pay me in a check and give it to me a week later so I don't gamble. All right, folks, you got the garbage guys. You know where to find them. Get some bodega cat. Bidagatwisky.com. DM our bodega cat whiskey on Instagram. Matt, we'll get back to you. Garage beer sucks.

Get out of it. Get out of it. Get out of it. Get back. Cut it, dump it. Garage beer's rules. We love you guys. Candles and animals.

All right Sunday's a day For my next fender A bit of Peveret We know the fear juice Close I've had a little too much Furbin

And Norman's talking shit About the fucking post And I get down In the same way Up on the roof Like a cop's coming And naked Samuel is Feeling dangerous

I'm out to lunch Here in New Orleans This woman Doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be true