We Might Be Drunk - Ep 26: White Claw

Episode Date: June 7, 2021

We might be drunk, we might be drunk, as long as we are hanging out, you know we might be drunk. Raise a glass, let's talk shit, pep heaps, wrecks, and a bit, maybe drunk. We might be drunk, yeah. Alrighty-roo, Here we are, folks. We might be drunk. You know where you're at. What's shaking, Fatty? You just told me you watch Heartbreak Kid, but you didn't tell me what you thought. Oh, well, I saw it 20 years ago when I was 16, 17, and thought it was great.

And then you re-watch it now. It's so good! Yeah. It's so good. It's Seinfeld's favorite comedy, by the way. Really? And then when you watch it, you're like Seinfeld's favorite comedy, by the way. Really? And then when you watch it, you're like, oh, I get it.

Cause the whole movie is like an episode, you know, like the other girl does this. That's annoying. He hates her when she does this. It's all just like little, uh, what do you call it?

Quirks that are annoying. And the remake was so bad. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that once. Once they cast Mencia in that movie, I was like, that was like,

come on, Fairly Brothers. You're like comedy guys. Why are you fucking stabbing me? Well, it is funny because it's a remake. That's kind of his whole thing. But yeah, so good. Grodin, so subtle, so good. The woman, the wife is so good.

You really hate her. Yeah. And every guy, this is like every guy's thought process. Like, what have I done? A committing? I can't do this. Who is this bag i can't hang out with her you know and the grouch thing is so right just check it out it's 1972

still holds up elaine may wrote it that's right no she directed it i think i think it's a neil simon i don't think it's neil where's harry we need harry's fat let's look it up all right i think it's a neil's side i think it's a book from some other guy. And I think Neil Simon wrote the screenplay, and then Elaine May directed it. Maybe you're right. Damn. And it had a kind of a new wave Euro vibe. This sucks.

I looked up the Heartbreak Kid, and the new one comes up. That's what happens. The more popular search. Brutal. Brutal. The remake. Ben Stiller. I didn't know that was a Farre you're right it's neil simon

man i'm a dumb dumb that's why it's so good that guy can write it's funny in the i typed it into the search on the tv and it said jew lenny i was like geez is that necessary but that was funny in the search you wouldn't do that with like black uh whit man can't jump, black guy, Wesley Snipes. But the Jew is- Sybil Shepard too, holy shit. Oh, what a dime. She was hot. Woo, lovely lady.

And it's kind of insulting too. It's like this obvious goy, this blonde bombshell versus the annoying New York Jewish gal. york jewish gal the constant the constant struggle as a jewish man yes exactly the shiksa you like a shiksa if you've dated a jewish gal oh i can hear your mom snapping a pencil what did i do yeah you smothered me no right yeah no no no you know i mean jews i think we like women who are a little more like pushing us away because you smothered me no right yeah no no no that's the stereotype I mean Jews I think we like women who are a little more like pushing us away

because we tend to have overbearing mothers interesting yeah see I think the goy the gentile we try to go fuck our mom

subconsciously and you guys try to fuck not mom I think on some level you're always fucking a parent yeah that's true my last relationship I tried to fuck my mom mate i think on some level you're always fucking a parent yeah that's true my last relationship i tried to fuck my dad it was horrible she just left yeah oh yeah we got the

big reveal what do you want you reach in first me yeah you reach all right so this was sam's week so we got the big i went weird i went with a summery drink. It's kind of summery out. Ooh, nothing wrong with that. Whoa, nice. You got a watermelon. I got four different flavors. I'll take a watermelon. White Claw. Let's see what I get.

This is exciting. Mango. Hey, that might be the worst flavor, by the way. Is it? I think so. All right, I'll switch for something else. This is great. Strawberry, is that good? That's good.

All right. I'm a white claw guy i know everybody calls me a pussy and a queef but uh you know i didn't know you like white claw though i do like yeah i just like it it's uh it's it's light goes down easy summer day oh yeah that is good it's good it. It's refreshing. Sue me. I got a lot of shit when I was filming the rooftop thing. People were like, what do you need? I was like, a mic, an amp, and your friends who were cool, and White Claw. And they were like, White Claw?

And then guess what? They were gone always the second I went for my second round. Exactly. They're kind of gender neutral. Everybody can get on board. They're not too sweet. They're not too tart. Not too sweet. They're not too tart, not too heavy.

I didn't like the wine coolers back in the day where it was like you had to be like a Zima or a Mike's Hard guy. I hate it. It was like Mike's Hard was really like classic trying too hard. Yep, yep, yep. The sweet, you know when you drink a couple of Cokes, you feel that your teeth are kind of sugary? Yeah. Mike's would do that.

So much sugar. Smearing off ice. Remember that you've been iced they would they would just hit it and it would just start fizzing up and you're like fuck i gotta chug it you've been iced dude it's like the opposite of my ex when it started coming out she got the hell out of there but uh and then you got iced yeah so did the border. All right. Here we go, folks. We're having too much fun. Yeah. White Claw is kind of fun. And unlike the wine cooler, it's not too sweet. Like, I never got the backlash because it's basically, I like seltzer. This is just seltzer with a kick.

Exactly. Exactly. I'm so with you. And look, I love beer. I'm a big beer guy. Grew up drinking beer. But sometimes, you know, they get that heavy, the yeast, the malt, the hops. It's a lot in your stomach. Well, it's hard to have a lot of beers as you get older. Oh, yeah. When you're young, you do. I mean, shit, I remember all the times I'd get drunk off, like, beer pong growing up. Oh, good times. And then you're, like, pissing all night.

You're like, oh, I had, like, 14 beers. Yeah. That's why. Yeah, and we had kegs every night in college. And all my friends had like this weird, weird skinny fat gut. You know, skinny arms, skinny legs. But they had that fucking distended Irish guy belly. You know?

That's what happens to men. Yes. It's like you don't work out and you drink. You just kind of get that gut. Get that gut. Just that African child with the fly by the nose. Just that bubble down there. drink you just kind of get that gut get that gut just that well that the you know african child with the fly by the nose just that bubble down there i think it's slightly different how'd you get yours alcohol all right all right all right it is weird though they don't eat over

there they're they're hungry but yet they get a gut isn't that weird it's very small though i think it's like for air or something isn't it is it i don't know i know it's malnutrition but you think if you didn't eat i mean now we're getting dark this is what the internet needs is two white guys speculating on uh well starving children you go holocaust and there's no gut but they were hungry too i think they were even more hungry probably probably and also all the all the running and all the all this work oh they worked yeah that's right jesus christ yeah man can you imagine complaining all right i mean it's crazy that it's funny that jews are known from complaining and then they've like like they've done the little things yeah that's true that's true yeah they've done the drafty restaurant they'll they'll write a full. But then that, the worst thing of all time.

Well, there was no HR in Nazi Germany. That's true. Auschwitz was like, can I speak to someone? Right, right. Woo, HR. Now that's a sketch. The HR guy in Auschwitz. He was very rude to me.

You call these rations good? That's great. I'm sleeping with eight other guys on a board here. Like, come on. One star. Star David. I knew you were going there. There we go.

You got a joke about that. Yeah, that's right. That's right. The Jewish Uber. Damn. Yeah, Jews, we do. But we complain the way, like, culturally Jews, especially New York Jews. I think New Yorkers also just relate by complaining.

That's, like, why Pet Peeves is a segment on this. You feel lighter after you bitch. That's true. You kvetch. You vent. Yeah, that's true. You've got to get it out. And that's why maybe Jews are the therapy kings.

Because you've mastered the art of of listening and deflecting a vent and blaming our mothers yeah there you go full circle interesting yeah therapy oh i blew off a therapy session that i shouldn't have what we got adam mckay on pod don't i had to he and i was like do you have something else and he was like this is all i got this week and i was like come on yeah it's like a flight you're like can i can i change it you know but the problem with therapy with our guy if you don't get it in in time you got to pay for that session oh really yeah i think he's a 24 hour guy i'll pay him then damn that sucks oh well that's a couple bucks right there for nothing and i've had a few times and i'm like come on I'll pay him then. Damn. That sucks. Oh, well. That's a couple bucks right there.

Yeah. For nothing. And I've had it a few times, and I'm like, come on. I'm so sorry. He's like, hey, that's my policy. Yeah, you got to make sacrifices. Yeah, no. You know, he blocked off the time, I guess. No, for sure.

No, he earned it. But I've done it. I've done it, too. Yeah. It happens. Got to do it. But McKay, I mean, that's worth the money. It was worth it.

He was great. It was one of, was my maybe my favorite episode ever wow yeah he was stavros pulled it in man great great pull the greeks he's great he's a he knows basketball he came with jokes that's guys like that who get that successful i mean you guys know adam mckay if you don't if you if you can't for some reason place adam mck, then you're not a comedy fan. I mean, this is Anchorman. Step Brothers. Step Brothers. The other guys. Oh, my God.

Wow. I think he had some SNL stuff. He wrote The Big Short. What? Yeah. He wrote that? Yes. What?

I think that won Best Screenplay. EP for Succession. What? Dude, he's literally everything. What a res. And he was so cool. cool man and now here's the chicken and the egg question is he bringing shit is he prepared because he's successful or is he successful because he prepares definitely the latter yeah i think so you get to that level

you just he he came we would stavros and I used to do bits about like the all NBA like cuck squad. So we would give like five players who were the biggest cucks. It would be a dumb list. He came with like three of those lists. Wow. So cool. Did he get some nicks in there just to zing you?

He opened by saying like he felt bad for me because he's like, man, he's like, just be happy. But he basically said it's like, he opened by saying it's like a party you haven't been invited to for so long. You're a freshman. You got to go to the senior party. Even if you don't win, you got to go. Yeah, you didn't get laid, but you got to go.

And I was like, you know what? I'm too deranged to look at it in that manner. We're here and I want it all, baby. I get it. I get it. We all want it all. But it's also what makes sports great. It's unpredictable.

You never know what's going to happen and you got to eat the loss. And then when you all but uh it's also what makes sports great it's unpredictable you never know what's gonna happen and you gotta eat the loss and then when you do win it's that much better for sure man i'm pumped you watch the heartbreak kid it feels good when you watch something that we talk about in the pod because it's like it started here and it comes back here i kind of like it i like it too and i'm gonna watch rick and morty i'm gonna make it happen i just keep forgetting comments We get comments. I've seen. And I've also gotten them at shows where people are like, Norman should watch Rick and Morty.

Because that fan base is cult-like. Yes. And then I don't know what the burping is. Whenever I burp, they're like, you're like the guy on the show. Because he's a super genius, but he burps and farts all the time. Oh, interesting. Okay. You do have a little Rick in you.

I'll take it. Harry just got here. Harry, don't you think Mark has a little Rick in him? He does. All right. My dad's name's Rick. We'll check it out. I'll check it out. Everybody loves the show.

I haven't heard one like, eh. Some people, we've wrecked some things. People are like, I've seen it. It's not great. Don't listen to Sam. And then some people- Which ones that aren't great? I can't remember.

Some movie is said. But everybody's been like, no, no, this is actually killer. Their fan base can be a bit annoying, but the show is great. The fan base is a little bit like in your face. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Like Simpsons fans, like rabid? I don't think Simpsons fans are that crazy. I mean, look, first 10 seasons of The Simpsons is like untouchable. Amazing. Some of the best comedy writing of all time. I still follow them on Instagram just for the little quick scenes. I can't help it. That's hilarious.

Yeah, I do too. Give me a peeve, man. All right, all right. I didn't have a peeve, and then this happened today, and I wrote it down, and I can't wait. I love that. I hope I haven't done this one before, but somebody texts me. Somebody you don't really know that well, so you're already like, oh, this is weird.

I haven't talked to this guy in a while. But texts me and he goes, hey, man, can I get so-and-so's number? I said, sure. I sent him the number and then he goes, how are you? Ah, come on. I gave you the number. I'm doing shit. Now I got to have a back and forth.

But he feels guilty about the number thing, I think. So he's like overcompensating with a how are you? And I know it's harmless and all that. Is this someone you know well? Not that well. That's why it's even weirder because it's like we never really talk, but you want to talk now or even might not even want to. You just feel like you have to. This show has turned into just indirectly talking shit about people i know we're gonna get listeners who are just like that was me they're just shitting on me i do worry about that but uh

i barely i've never hung out with the guy let's just put it that way we're in the same world so we have each other's number but you don't have to do the how are you i i get what you're doing but you know what else bothers me when how are you i i get what you're doing but you know what else bothers me when somebody asks for something and they change their voice oh we've talked about we did a whole we did a whole thing about this yeah sure yeah just i get it you know what's a fun fact asking someone for a favor is actually a great way to to bond really because you think oh i'm annoying this guy but they go oh this person trusts that i can handle this and they're close enough feeling to me that they can ask.

So ask for a favor, a small favor, obviously. That reminds me. Can I borrow 20 bucks? Yeah, exactly. Don't ask for 10 grand from Seinfeld, but if you just go like, can you pass me that menu? Little things like that, they're like, oh. Wow. And now you're bonding.

Fun fact. things like that they're like oh and now you're you're you're bonding hmm you know what bothers me is when people ask for like this i guess is maybe more specific to our world but i've had like club people ask me for people's numbers and i'm like that's a famous person i can't just give you their number that's a tough one you're in the position where you're like i don't want to even text it's someone i know they won't like yes then i'm like do i text this famous person and be like hey this uh club owner who used to underpay me wants a favor yeah for me for some reason and then you're like how clueless are you they'll be like can you ask joe rogan if he'll do my podcast i'm like what do you i wouldn't even do your podcast like you want this guy the biggest pot on the planet like i don't even want

to bother him let alone bother him for your bullshit that's hilarious that's the favor from the person you don't like yeah like just the fact that you're going through me is already a sign that it's not going to happen i'm annoyed that you're talking to me because now i'm annoyed right right now i have to feel annoyed for like two minutes exactly exactly yeah so get get your shit together, folks. Like, have some awareness. He's not going to do your pod. You know, you can see people going, hey, you miss all the shots you don't take. And if you don't ask, who knows? And all that shit. I'm like, ah, that's all bullshit.

You take 400 shots on me alone. Why don't you calm down? Yeah, yeah. I'm not a goalie. All right? Cut it out. Start shooting on other people for a change. That's a great point.

A lot of motivational speakers pull shit like, you got to roll the dice because you never know. It's like sometimes you could also just be a human and not annoy people. Yeah, and earn something yourself instead of trying to just milk some shit off other people who've already done stuff. Although you've literally done every Open Micros podcast that I've ever – I can't say no. I don't know you have time. I wouldn't be able to write any jokes between doing this i do the other podcast i you know i'm traveling all the

time i don't know how you have time because you always have new jokes like i wouldn't have any new bits if i did that it's tough it's tough i'm that i'm that guy i yeah what's that guy's name the asian dj with long hair aoki i mean hold on that's not my specialty yeah me neither i hate djs i hate house music or trance or tech glad you said house music i thought something else was coming there hashtag hashtag stop dj hate but i did jim and sam with him once and and this guy's brilliant because he's like the busiest guy on the planet he He's got his own jet. He goes from like Switzerland, does a show there. Then he goes to New York. Then he goes to Copenhagen or whatever.

And he's like, first of all, he's mastered sleeping anywhere. He's like, I've learned how to. It's like an ancient Chinese art where I can sleep in a shoe box. He's about to ask him a question. He's like. Yeah. And just the fact that he was on Jim and Sam sam he's like his dad owns hibachi his dad invented hibachi the whole franchise yeah so he like has this crazy work ethic and he's the biggest dj on

the planet fascinating guy sweet guy nice guy but he only talked about like his dad cut things up and now he cut things up exactly he compartmentalizes his whole life and where he eats and how he sleeps and all this. He's like, you can get a lot done while you're shitting or while you're eating or while you're peeing or while you're whatever. And I'm forgetting all of it now, but it was really interesting. He's brushing his teeth and jacking off at the same time. Man, this guy's crazy. Yeah. Don't shoot the toothbrush.

Don't put that on the brush. But yeah. So really fascinating guy that there is something interesting about managing time that well because i'm jealous i mean i waste time so much oh i'm so good at wasting time i'm the al lubell used to have a great joke i don't know if you know al lubell i love al lubell great joke writer he's a bunch of great lettermans online but he had a joke about like you know i, I'm another second closer to death. I'm another second closer to death. I'm another second closer to death.

Time is killing me. Time is wasting me. I think that's why I like to do nothing all day. Time's not going to waste me. I'm going to waste time. Yes. That's great. Very wordy joke, like a wordsmithy joke.

But I love jokes like that. No, me too. He's got some brilliant stuff, some real like brain twisters. We're like, whoa, that's true. That's a great point or whatever. He's got some brilliant stuff, some real brain twisters. We're like, whoa, that's true. That's a great point or whatever. He's great. He had one, too, about how he was on a flight with just him and one other guy. The guy was flying the plane.

And he thought, I just realized I've doubled my chances of dying of a heart attack. Because if he gets a heart attack, I'm dead. He goes, I'm fine dying from a heart attack. But his heart attack? Oh, that's so smart. That's like math jokes, you know? He's really, I used to watch him. I worked the door at Broadway Comedy Club.

And you'd see a lot of, you know, whatever middle of the road sets come in. And he would come in and bomb a lot. But I'd be like, damn. I'd be like, I'd be watching that guy and just kind of like marveling at his structure and his sets. Yes. Structure. Completely unique. Completely weird.

But just trying to work that shit out is impressive. Because how do you... That joke complete is a cool thing. But finding the beats of that has got to be a nightmare. Yeah. You've got to do... That's all at home. That's...

What do you call it? Page to stage. You know, some guys, they write a premise, they fuck around on stage and work it out that you can't really work that shit out you're right that's got to be kind of written first yeah yeah that which makes even more impressive to me yeah he was awesome man that's what's crazy about music these guys write i ain't got no banana and then they just bring it on stage they don't really go are they i don't know anything about music so So are they on stage going like, hold on, cross that out. They didn't like that part. You know, it's just people going like this in the crowd.

You know, they're not really reacting. The satisfaction part. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. That's working. The. I ain't got no.

That's no good. It must feel so good to because I think they just know. Right. Like they just kind of know in the room that the song is good, I would guess, right? I guess. Well, I mean, if you, Keith Richards and Jagger together, you've got that kind of like unique bond. Yes. Where you can just create shit together.

And there must be moments where they're like, oh, we got something. Oh, I know. That's got to be so cool. Like he's on heroin, Jagger's getting his dick sucked. And they're like, this is great this is great song pretty amazing that like these random people can find each other and just make brilliant shit that the whole world loves and plays and changes lives and makes people happy it's fucking art did you see that beatles uh that beatles headline how they used to uh they used to jag

off together no there was a whole and it was was I think it was Ringo Starr. So that was before I joined the band. I mean, Beatles, indeed. Wow. I didn't know that. I mean, I did that with my friends. Me too. Hey.

Yeah. I have a long bit about it now. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't. It's so funny.

People are the two things that would always get weird, weird reactions from on the road is that and saying, you know, on some level you're trying to fuck your mother. Yeah. You know, it's like and they're like, oh, I'm like, is this breaking news? I think this is every therapist. Yeah, that's Freud. One on one. Yeah. But I think it's kid jerking your kids.

So that's weird. And then it's incest, I guess. So it's only the most popular porn category of all time good point good point where's porn gonna go oh good i mean animals i don't know it's a good question that might be next it might be next there's nothing left we've done family members we've done interracial we've done old and young we've done that's how it keep that's what taboo is it's like the way a joke is you go up to the line and keep crossing it yeah that's where jokes keep getting more offensive right where is where's porn gonna be i know we've done food we've done it all we've done

like inanimate objects and stuff it's gonna be like guy fucks horse but then like the next and that's gonna be fucked up and then the next one is gonna be like guy fucks horse, but then like the next, and that's going to be fucked up. And then the next one is going to be like guy fucks horse, step horse or something like that. They're going to have to keep going darker. Yeah, guy fucks horse, guy fucks black horse. Guy fucks zebra, guy fucks, yeah. Yeah, stolen horse. Gay horse. Gay incest horse.

Like, oh my God. Right. Gay incest horse. That's hilarious. Horse discipline. Just pissed on that horse. Yeah. The horse seemed to like it.

Right. Oh, the horse ain't complaining. Horses have bad lives, man. I know. They really do. Well, I guess it depends. We talked about dogs, but horses, you're either like a race horse. That's like pro athlete.

So in the horse world, being a pro athlete is the worst you're getting whipped you're the star yeah but you're getting no fucking love that's interesting yeah if you if you break a leg they shoot you yeah horrible holy shit mba you break a leg rehab come back and you still get paid still get paid i think you got a bit here maybe write it down harry interesting that's a great point yeah the the dogs have job drug sniffing seeing eye anxiety dog police dog the dalmatian on the fire truck that sucks but at least if they suck at it they just get to live with some family right you know the horse is like yeah we got to shoot you in the head. You blew out an ankle there, secretariat or whatever.

Have you ever been to a racetrack, the horse track? I love a racetrack. It's fun. Oh, yeah. I grew up going to that shit. I love it, man. Yeah, and it's just a reason to drink and be outside and wear a seersucker suit. Men julep.

A guy I went to high school with, the toughest guy I i know this guy ron he was getting a fist fights all the time he's a headbutt guy i know i know he was the funniest guy coolest guy all the girls loved him and he would just get in his shit with a guy and just go and the guy's nose would explode we're like oh shit it's on you know and then the place would go nuts but uh he now does the uh i guess like the grooming of horses like he works at the stables damn makes a fortune living the good life he's like the most new orleans guy on the planet he's drinking a mint julep right now that's my horse yeah i see headbutts the horse you lost the race yeah headbutt is so it's so violent that is savage because you're hurting

yourself it's almost like a half kamikaze yes that's great you're kind. Because you're hurting yourself. It's almost like a half kamikaze. Yes! That's great. You're kind of like you're hurting yourself but you're hurting them more. You're hurting them more but still that's how tough I am. Like I'm willing to hurt myself just so you get hurt. And no one sees it coming. Headbutt is always like one of my favorite scenes

Happy Gilmore when he headbutts Bob Barker. It's so violent. To do it to an old man is fucking hilarious. Have you ever headbutts bob barker it's so violent to do it to an old man is fucking hilarious it's great have you ever headbutted someone i don't know i think so i did it on accident and i i think there's a way to do it right obviously because people do it and then move on and keep walking but like i it is the worst pain it's that skull on skull fuck your brain shakes up it's just horrible i think i did it like friends drunk and i was like yeah this doesn't feel good yeah i had that one friend who was just crazy he was like the dude

you're like this dude he didn't look tough yes that was the worst part of it we're like this guy does not look tough yep and he would be the first one to throw down and be like this dude is like it's not just being physically strong it's kind of like not shine away from being hit which i don't have. Right. Certain people just have that thing when other people come at you, they just are like calm as hell. Yes. Yes.

And that's like, that's another thing. That is very interesting. That's like what a Mayweather type has where it's like, he's great at dodging. He's just calm. Right. Right. It's almost this race car gene where when you're in a crazy moment, your adrenaline is lower, your heartbeat is lower, your heart rate is lower,

where we go the other way. Oh, yeah, I panic for sure. But also I panic because I'm self-aware and I know I can't fight. Right, right, yeah. You ever really lost one? You ever gotten your ass kicked big time? By the kid who was like the protector of us. Oh, really?

Yeah, he beat the shit out of me once. Wow, that's hell of a shit. We were both drunk and he it just turned into like me thinking i was tougher than i was and him knowing i wasn't wow and i think it just kind of started with like the poking and then it turned into like a thing and i remember him taking my face and smashing it on the floor and i was just i just came too bloody i'm like yeah he got me pretty good jesus what does this guy do got me pretty good. Jesus. What does this guy do? Is he like a marriage counselor?

Like, what does this guy do now? He works in HR at a concentration camp. Perfect job. You missed that callback, Harry. Wow. What does he do now? I don't know. He was actually, the weirdest thing is the nicest guy.

Of course. They always are. I mean, I just crossed him the wrong way. And it's funny to call a guy who did that to me. But he's really like the nicest guy. I get it. I get it. Yeah, yeah. I remember, I just crossed him the wrong way. And it's funny to call a guy who did that to me. But he's really like the nicest guy. I get it. I get it. Yeah, yeah.

I remember one guy. This is crazy. One guy fucked with him hard, like a tough guy at a party. And we got into it. And he fucking keyed the guy in the neck and sent him to the hospital. And I was like, keyed? Yeah. What?

Is this guy a prison vet? Like, who is this guy? He was pretty fearless. I remember he pulled a gun on me once in his apartment. And, like, he did it as, like, a joke. It's funny. I described the guy as, like, the nicest guy. Yeah, yeah.

But he, like, cocked the gun in my face as I was, like, taking food out of his freezer. And I was just like. That's hilarious. I was like, oh. He was like, gotcha. And I was like, yeah. I mean, you got me. I will not eat these pizza rolls.

That worked. For all the people that are like, I need to protect my home. There's people that are just like, check this shit out. Yeah, I had that friend too. I had two guys with guns. They're both firemen now. Just crazy, like, beefy white guys, football team. And one time they came to my house.

They knock on the door. It's like a Tuesday at 10 p.m. My mom's in, like, you know, pajamas. And my dad's, like, holding a candle with a night hat, you know.m my mom's in a like you know pajamas and my dad's like holding a candle with a night hat you know and they're like well is mark home and i'm like i'm on the stairwell like hey what do you what do you what's going on guys like oh can we talk to you and i was like okay my mom's like what's going on you know that whole thing i'm like i got it go to sleep you crazy whore and i go outside and uh they're like hey you want to come drinking i'm

like dude it's tuesday we're we're juniors in high school and he goes you're coming out and he pulled a gun i was like i guess we're going out and i just went out like flip-flops and uh shorts and a t-shirt we went drinking all night jesus i didn't want to but you know we didn't want a guy's got a gun you just do it it would be great if he took it even further. Your mom's like, where are you going? Shut up, bitch. Get down. Yeah, right. And then,

hey, Mr. Norman, suck my dick. He's like, okay, okay, don't shoot. Yeah. Wild, wild guys. Guns. Yeah, guns are scary.

And so they just went out. My thing is like, wouldn't you be scared that you just get like, you act that reckless and you're drunk and shit that a cop grabs you and is like, what the fuck is this? And then you're really. Yeah.

But I guess if you're willing to pull that joke with a gun. Right. Right. You're not thinking about consequences, probably. I guess not. Yeah. And they were those kind of guys like, I hope someone fucks with us, which I know I just want to get drunk and have fun and laugh. But they were like those types.

That's not healthy. No, these guys. These guys like their dad hit them. They had some stuff going on. Everyone's got friends like that growing up with like, let's start some shit. And I'm like, well, we're having a good night. Yeah. I never thought like, wouldn't this night be cooler if I lost a tooth?

I know. I know. Exactly. Yeah. Like fights are so unpredictable. Like you never know. First of all, some guy you're fighting could be some mma psycho especially now especially now yeah back then at least most people like they just knew a couple things like boxing was the big thing no one followed ufc back then no no not at

all i honestly only knew ufc because like pro wrestling back then i knew like ken shamrock oh yeah because he was in the wwf i only but like no one knew boxing was a thing but then i've seen shit in like the lower east side where people like some guys start shit with a guy who knows how to fight that ain't good no that's bad news and uh yeah i was in greenpoint one night and those polish guys are fucking tough as nails and they're just stomping a guy out and you're like okay well he's clearly dead then he gets up and then he starts winning you're like how is that guy not dead you know tell another polish joke i know right your sausage sucks yeah oh crazy any group has its i mean like no one wants to fuck with albanians no you don't got no colin quinn had that joke in his special

like he we go through every group and he goes and to show you how tough albanians are i'm not No one wants to fuck with Albanians. No. You don't. God, no. Colin Quinn had that joke in his special. He'd go through every group and he goes, and to show you how tough Albanians are, I'm not even going to do an Albanian joke. And I was like, fuck. I knew a couple Albanian guys. You're like, these are scary dudes. Really? Of course. I don't even think about Albanian guys.

United, Russian, black, white, Italian. They're like all Albanian guys are like Schwarzenegger and T2. Oh, no. Robert Patrick and T2. Oh, no, Robert Patrick in T2. Oh, really? I feel like you just shoot them and they just keep walking to you. T-1000. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that guy was terrifying. Fucking great in The Sopranos, though. Yeah, he was great. The degenerate gambler. Yes. My favorite scene is when he loses all this money to Tony and then he goes to his son. Oh, hell yeah. Come on on no mango

blackberry damn it's only fair all right i'm gonna have to take this mango well uh yeah and he goes no off-roading uh-huh he's like i told you not to get mud on the tires and then he just takes his son's car to meadow soprano yes yes it's the darkest shit your dad just stole your car so dark to the girl you like oh my god that's perfect such a dark oh that's one of the best and when he's talking to tony like we have all this history and he's like this is what i do right i pray on the fucking week oh man what a great show whoo yeah boy give me a break guys been a few weeks since i did a soprano's reference i'm sorry no that was a good one deep cut do we have an ad fucking mango i don't know if we do ah yeah you got the mango you got the shit stick is mango really bad i just don't i mean you might like it

i just don't what's the what's your number one white claw i like black cherry so this worked out blackberry black cherry oh blackberry oh shit i've been too drunk every time i had one i was like i love black cherry yeah i think it's great this is my favorite one see what i got lime is the ultimate worst so we have no lime is meh lime is bad with every like bud light lime sucks all those lime ones but then a margarita is great and then a lime in your tequila is great. So real lime is good, but fake lime is bad. Fake lime seltzer I don't even like.

Yeah. You know, I like those LaCroix seltzers, and I like peach pear. I like plain. I'm always down for a black cherry seltzer. But fucking lime is just kind of bland. Yeah. Banana is similar. I love a banana, but a banana flavor. Yeah, it's banana is similar.

I love a banana, but a banana flavor of anything, I'm like, ugh. Depends. Banana Hi-Chew is pretty good. What's that? You never had those little Hi-Chews? Those like gummy candies are mad good. Oh, no, I don't know Hi-Chew. I was once late at night in a Korean grocery with Ari, Shafir, Jeff Ross, and Dave Attell. And Dave and Jeff are like snacking on candies and you know they're like they don't really party i mean i guess jeff will drink but

like yeah tell it is like years ago and dave doesn't drink anymore so he's just like eating candies and he's like this one gives you the best sugar high it's like hilarious to watch people that are sober like get like yeah get a buzz off sugar. Right. I've never seen Dave Attell eat. Have you ever seen him eat? I have a couple times, yeah. Really? Yeah. You were at the one time at Keene's he ate with us, remember?

Oh, yeah. I just can't imagine him cutting a piece of meat and putting it in his mouth. It's just so foreign. We were once driving back from a road gig and stopped at a – this is what you expect Dave to eat. He stopped at a gas station and got like a sausageave to eat he stopped at a uh gas station and got like a sausage biscuit it was just like just on the side of the road i'm like that's you expect dave's diet to be like sausage like all manly right exactly like truck stop food yeah he's like

the manliest guy and a road dog so of course he, you know, horrible gas station shit. Just bacon and like fried eggs. That's all you expect to tell to eat. He feels like a guy in the 50s. You know, like whiskey, cocaine, eggs and bacon. Yeah. And pussy. Did you ever say your peeve? My peeve.

Oh, okay. I got one for you. People that try to plan things with me far out. Oh. It's not just for me it's like a thing with ad hd add whatever you want to call it you don't like to plan far out it's very it's very stressful for you like what are you doing three weeks from today i'm just like oh that's tough i i was reading about it so i'm like why is this so stressful for me it's it's that we need instant reward we need

instant we're like we're like fucking like give me a treat yeah you're like how about this what are you doing three weeks from now i'll give you a hand job and then maybe i'm like all right i'm in right i need something it's never a good thing either it's always like a wedding or uh you know some kind of like a gig great i'll do a gig three weeks it's never what are you doing three weeks from today yankees behind home plate what do you and it's never that it's always like i need help moving exactly exactly just like all right roll or some shit that you don't want to go to and if you're over 30 hire a fucking mover ah jesus i know good lord that's crazy i used to move furniture and i'm i'm agreeing i did it a few times and it was horrible it's tough it's my frame is not conducive for that yeah you're 6 12 you got uh hairy chest

yeah you you shouldn't be moving the hairiness have to do with it i don't know i tried i was trying to think of something about you but not be insulting uh yeah yeah you shouldn't be moving yeah you're a human uh you're like the guy outside of the car sales you know i used to have that job i would just do this yeah but uh yeah moving furniture sucks but what were we oh yeah the three weeks thing i don't know where i'm gonna be who knows what kind of psycho is like oh in three weeks i'll be at uh costco who the fuck knows where they're gonna be it? It's stressing me out. Even if it were good, it stresses me out usually. But here's the devil's advocate.

What if the guy says, look, I'm getting married in eight months. Just put it in the calendar now and don't take any gigs that day and then we're cool. And I'm like, okay, I actually appreciate the heads up. Don't act like that doesn't annoy you. It does. I know that annoys you. I don't want to go to a wedding,, okay, I actually appreciate the heads up. Don't act like that doesn't annoy you. It does.

I know that annoys you. I don't want to go to a wedding, but at least you give me a heads up. I got one for you. How about a fucking Sunday night wedding so I don't have to miss a weekend? No, I want that. I don't have to miss a weekend of gigs. I'm with you because it's always, hey, it's Saturday night in Miami. You got to take two flights and a boat.

Like, come on. It's on a little island. Yes, exactly. You have to answer a riddle right right yeah and then and then pay for a uh yeah a ridiculous spa yeah exactly weddings are whack sunday night it would be nice sunday night or like late afternoon yeah hell weddings are tough give me a tuesday wedding and i get it It's Cause for a lot of people We have comedy

The wedding is their thing Yeah This is their big moment This is their big night Big event So I get it But it's tough It is tough

I never get comics Who wanna have a huge wedding Cause it's like We get We get that Kinda attention Too much Right

Right Yeah I would never want a big wedding No No But I think even if i weren't a comic i wouldn't yeah but did you go to quinn's wedding colin quinn no did you i didn't go either i was crushed but uh you go to yannis's no i didn't go either okay shit who got married though i went to

joe's list i went to joe list okay that was fun pretty big for a wedding yeah that was fun but it was fun that was a a great time. Great group. Great group. That's the key. I think we were at the same table. Yes, that's right. That's right. And Ryan Hamilton can dance. He can cut up a dance floor.

Yeah, I went to Rachel Feinstein's wedding, which Tom Papa officiated. Ooh. The great Tom Papa. That's fun. And Quinn gave a great speech at it. Oh, nice. It was fun. That's a lot of pressure, though.

It's all comics. Brutal. Brutal gig. at it oh nice it was fun that's a lot of pressure though it's all comics brutal brutal gig you got it is funny where you're like man at a regular wedding the hack shit kills at a comics wedding you gotta go a little alti you gotta yeah you gotta play to the back of the room but quinn a big genius huge fan he's, he's the best at that. He's better to the back of the room, I think. True.

And also, it's so hard because at a comic wedding, you kind of have to walk the line between a hint of hack just to get the other people. Get the family. But then also be so unique. Tom Pop is so good at that because he's so he's so good at working like any room yes he's a pro and uh yeah i remember he went on after quinn was like no no quinn went on after tom pop and said man your minister energy is really bugging me and it got a huge laugh and tom pop came back out and said yeah you know i should have mumbled like you through my speech that was much better and it killed it was like them like two guys like off the cuff roasting each other like you don't see that at weddings most speeches at weddings

are terrible terrible time or when they met and they got hooked up and it was a beautiful thing and they sold me yeah yeah yeah yeah stacy i remember back in high school yep you were always a bit of a bitch yeah exactly there's always the cunty sister bad roaster right right yeah when we first met john we hated him we thought he was gay yada yada and all you're like john's like jesus christ you know we thought he probably did a limp dick he had a dumb haircut and his face wasn't really doing much for us yeah but now we see how much you like him right and the whole family's on board uh yeah there's always that one person goes too far you guys are cute together but i can't wait for the divorce we all know what's happening yeah but uh i've had people email me

and go like hey i'm a fan of comedy i like stuff. Can you help me with a wedding roast? And I'm like, I appreciate it. It's flattering, but I can't because I don't know him. Yeah, you know, it really has to have your imprint on it. You can't really get someone to, I guess you get someone to punch it up. Sure, that's what they want. But I'm like, this is like a gig now. You're asking me to do work.

Oh, they're not going to pay you? I don't think so. They're just like, hey, can you help me out here? Hey, I don't know you, but now you're asking me to do work yeah oh they're not gonna pay you i don't think so they're just like hey can you help me out here and i don't know you but will you write for me yeah yeah exactly that's that's work it's work i should be like hey can you help me put a deck on my house you know for free just to you know throw it back at them it's fucking crazy you got a wreck i don't know these claws are are hitting me. I don't know how far in we are here. Really? Yeah, these claws are hitting me.

You didn't eat before. Oh. Let's see. I might have another. I don't know if I have a wreck, but I definitely have another peeve. Oh, give me another peeve. I love a peeve. All right.

Needless worry. Needless worry. People who worry when you don't need to worry. Ah, yes. Like my mom does this to me where she just panicsics and I'm just like, hey, if it's not okay, it's just not going to be okay. Right. I worry, but she'll worry for me in ways where I'm like, hey, guess what? You raised me.

I worry. Yeah. It's not like I'm not nervous when your mom is nervous all the time. Of course. You absorb a lot of that. Yeah. yeah it's not like i'm not nervous you're right when your mom is nervous all the time of course you you you absorb a lot of that i yeah so it's literally like she's a sponge of worry and it's just just all over me i'm like yeah i got some worry in me now yeah of course of course but i'll be on the road she's like you know you're careful when you're vaccinated i'm like no i actually i got unvaccinated last week walggreens does that now. Right.

Yeah. They took the Pfizer out of me. Yeah. Yeah. Come on, mom. No, she's just worried. I mean, look, I get it. We do. We have jobs that are like.

Look, I really love my job, but like it can be a little draining. So I think they worry like, oh, you're never getting sleep. You're sure we're drinking. We're flying. No, I get it. I mean, I have a cat and look it's a cat it doesn't talk and we we don't really relate that much but sometimes i'm like is the cat chewing on is the cat choking and i freak it out a little bit and i'm like ah the cat's just hanging out it's

eating a piece of yarn or whatever but in my mind i'm like it's a cat show should i give it a hi i'm like ah you know should i call the vet and i can't even imagine having a kid i would shit blood every day this is a cat yeah no i remember i used to have a cat and i was the same shit he'd be like yeah yeah what do we do what are we doing you kind of have that panic hit you like well i don't want to die on my watch i'm a shitty cat owner what am i doing you're watching a pet suffer that's why it's got to be like hard to see a kid go through shit right like if your kid's going through shit at school or something yes bullied you're like that must be hell salicus i don't i don't know if this is too personal but he was telling me i'm glad you said his name i know someone the cues he was telling me some shit

his kids going through and i was like oh i was crushed and i'm like you're the dad i can't even remember what you're going through oh man like that's one of the things we were like how do you not if your kid's getting fucked with at school how do you not like knock on the door and beat the shit out of the other i know dude one time i was in i don't know i was like 12 and i was at a friend's house and my friend got into a fight with his other kid in the neighborhood like a you know a dumb fist fight with two boys no no one you know just crazy swinging and the other kid hit my friend got a good one on him and his glasses flew off but right when he hit him my friend's dad happened to open the door and saw his son getting punched in the face by this other kid and the glasses flew and they

skidded on the concrete and he goes your ass is grass and the other kid went ah and ran away as a kid does because and so then the dad runs out he's like are you okay what the fuck who is that kid i'll kill him and i remember being like jesus dad's a little psycho but he just was he saw his kid get punched out i don't know and the glasses are very expensive apparently he just will were like like it ended there the dad fucking kicks through the door at his home just starts fucking wailing on him yeah yeah it's crazy the dad anger you always hear these old stories of like you ever hear about the dads who like okay you two boys have a problem you're gonna fight on the front lawn

i'm gonna have a beer and sit in the lawn chair hamilton i've heard about this happening i've never seen it but i had friends who were like oh yeah my dad had to watch me fight another kid just to settle it i don't know that is like the modern day duel kind of after school yeah it's all it's gotten softer it has it has in 20 years it'll be i challenge you to a debate right right yeah we're gonna tweet Yeah, but Jake LaMotta, famous boxer, the Raging Bull, he said in his book that, this is the Bronx in the 20s or whatever this is. Sybil Shepard again, right? Oh, no, that was, what's her name, the other blonde woman. Yeah, beautiful blonde.

Forgot her name. But he said his dad, all the dads would get in the neighborhood and sit in a circle, and then they would throw pennies at their sons while they fought, and whoever won got to pick up the pennies. And that was just entertainment for the dads. And so Jake LaMotta got good doing that. They were like six. Crazy.

Those were different times. Back then he took a dive, and he didn't get the pennies, but he got a bunch of extra money. Right, he got a nickel of extra money. Right. He got a nickel on the side. Yeah. Fun story. Yeah.

Lamont, I mean, that was just such a tough. That was also when Italians were like treated horrifically. So they just had to make fun amongst themselves, you know. Every group's gone through shit, man. I know. Every group in this country has gone through some shit. Yeah. Sinatra's dad had to change the name of his bar to oh hurley's or ohanley's or whatever just because they were like you can't have an italian bar what are you crazy so he had to change to an irish name

damn crazy to think about italians like hoboken was in hoboken yeah damn yeah yeah good documentary man sinatra's life was bonkers crazy life and. And he was a manic depressive, I think. I think so, yeah. Yeah. Damn, what a life. All the girls that he was fucking would say, he would just be like, ah, it's 2 a.m. They're like, all right, I'm going to go home. He's like, what are you kidding?

Let's fly to London. He had a jet. So they would just fly to London. They're like, the girl's like, this is brutal. I'm dying here. Come fly with me was like a status thing. It was. It totally was, yeah.

Sinatra fucked everyone oh he really uh did not seem like a great person though no i think he was a piece of shit and uh mob ties and another great phil hartman character on snl oh man so good so good smoking yeah hated elvis right because elvis was the new hot guy. And he's like, I was the hot guy. But, you know, the changing of the guard, it's. Well, he got the last laugh. He had a longer life and career and shit. That's true.

But Sinatra had that rise. And then he kind of just fell down and came back from here to eternity. Right. It's just so weird that acting is what brought Sinatra back. Yeah, that's true. Because he's not that good in acting. Not great. Not great. Yeah. But he was good and, acting is what brought Sinatra back. Yeah, that's true. Because he's not that good in acting. Not great. Not great.

Yeah. But he was good and, you know, he's good enough. But, man, he was a fucking, his second half was just, it was so much cooler when he was just older. I know. He was kind of like the, like, he was almost like Bieber-esque when he was young. Exactly. He was like just the hot guy who was like, women are like, oh, and then he gets older

and he kind of was like grizzled and cooler at the hairpiece, got drunk all the time. Yes, exactly. Got the wide face. Yeah, yeah. A little more vulnerable. And he would do like the Reagan. He did the Reagan. What was that?

What was that big circular stage? Rickles did it. What do you call that? The presidential thing where they all perform. Oh, shit. I don't know. Correspondents't know is that what it was it was something like it was a big inauguration maybe maybe it was one of those it was a big thing with the president reagan's in the front row and rickles roast him and it's fucking hilarious i

remember that i remember the clip of that yeah and then sinatra closed it out it was like this unbelievable performance you know that'd be hilarious if they roasted a president but they did it like a Comedy Central roast. Yeah. Where they're like, I mean, this guy, he fucked, you know, like Trump. This guy raped someone. Everyone's like, boo. I mean, they did roast Trump.

They did roast Trump, yeah. Imagine, but like, holy shit. I know. We had no idea. You ever see the story where Artie Lang has, I think he told this story on Seth Meyers or something. But Artie lang is telling the story about how he roasted donald trump and it's a clip where it's arty howard stern and donald trump and trump is on it whoa and trump is like man i gotta say like arty set of the night

no one killed harder than arty and then arty does one of the jokes about it was something about his daughter yeah he just tells it in front of how and Howard laughs something about, you know, you'll own a, you see the name on this casino, you'll own this casino. And he's like, oh, your name's Borgata instead of Trump. That was like the joke, you know? And, and then Trump hears it and goes, Artie just bombed. He bombed the show. He didn't get any laughs.

He was terrible. Wow. Just watching him turn like, you're like, oh shit. Anytime he feels like burnt at all, he just changes reality. Wow. That's him in a nutshell. That's his whole presidential career. So funny.

That's fascinating. Nice little window into his whole personality. It's weird when dudes like that get roasted. Yeah, they don't like it. Because they have so much, but the little things are like, you can't make jokes about this. Yeah, the ego, ego man the ego wins i think the shatner roast they were like you can't make any comments about his wife that he may be murdered right which is such a funny note like he might have been he might be a murderer let's just keep it about his hair and or appearance star trek jokes please

nothing about the murder yeah we might roast OJ one day. Who knows? I mean, he's back in the limelight, but it's going to be like, hey, nothing about Nicole. No glove jokes. You know, that could happen. It just shows how- Can you imagine? OJ, great football player.

That's the roast? That's the roast, yeah. This guy. Wasn't too funny in those naked gun movies, though. Horrible actor. Yeah, that's true. It could happen those hurts commercials oj you really uh you really stunk i'll tell you one thing you didn't kill

those hurt commercials something like that and they're like oh don't do that close yeah have you seen that documentary on oj that uh no oh it's on uh 30 for 30 it's like a six part or something that might be one of the best documentaries of all time about the whole thing with the trial i think it was ezra edelman who's like just one of the great documentary makers period harry you've seen it right it's incredible wow it's like six parts it's the one of the most american things ever made because it like captures the rise and fall of this great murder so you have like the true crime element the the heroic athlete the come from nothing the american dream yeah the racial element right the riots like it's like literally everything that could have tremendous

stakes wow yeah and it's just heartbreaking it's a heartbreaking and then like the pressure from his people like he wasn't one of the guys like in the 60s, all these black athletes sacrifice some wealth to be part of this movement. Like Khalil Jabbour, Muhammad Ali, Bill Russell. Yeah. All these guys. And he was like, you know, his famous line, I'm not black, I'm OJ. So it's kind of like it's unfair to put that kind of pressure on a kid to be like, you need to do this. But at the same time, it's got to – looking back, it's got to hurt. Yeah. Wow, man. It's got so much. Well said.

It's one of the most brilliant documentaries ever made. I'm going to watch it. That's, I think, as highly as I can wreck anything. That's a wreck, folks. It's just – I mean, the 30 for 30s are great. They're great. They're masterpieces. They're so good.

And I'm not even a huge sports guy, and I'm loving every minute of it because I like documentary, and they're so well done. The one on Paul Daly, is that his name? He's that redneck-y hick golfer. John Daly. John Daly. That one is amazing. Because he's a drunk, right?

He's a huge drunk. I mean, he's basically Happy Gilmore, but real. And he's a fucking fat as shit now, and he's still good, right? Still good, and he would whack the shit out of it, and he was like this degenerate guy, and everybody's in like a polo tucked in with pink pants, and he's like, what are you doing? He's got a mullet and everything. I got to watch that. Oh, it's great.

Great 30 for 30. They have them on Delta flights now, which is great. Ooh, that is nice. Get a little in between a little Bobby-bobby flay you throw one of those on yeah god you gotta love delta by the way just a side note this is a good ep but uh but um i mean you wouldn't know from matt's reactions but right now no i've seen him crack a couple times okay he's a tough nut but uh oh there we go we got us i saw some teeth um matt's like the guy in the front row whatever my show of mine but uh but uh oh so this guy is a fan of our pod and he bumped into me at

a show and he goes hey man i'm a firefighter i love we might be drunk i like to drink but i get all these free uh united things because i don't know he's a firefighter they get benefits or whatever so he gave me a stack of United drink tickets or vouchers that's amazing. Give them to Mackie of course he's got status with United the worst fucking airline I know I know I'm a Delta guy

but well United it's like remember when they had that guy dragging and screaming off the flight and then like a week later they killed a dog on flight so you can't make up worse press than dragging an asian man off the flight followed by a week later you just take a dog and just like you were stuffing him in the overhead you're like you put a living thing in a place with no oxygen i know i know i love the idea of the this is my anxiety dog and What the fuck? I'm in an overhead compartment for nine hours. What are you doing to me?

But yeah, so my point is he got me a lounge pass. Now, all I want out of life is to get in that lounge. I don't care about HBO special, Hollywood, movies. Get me in that lounge. Dude, it's so easy to get in the Delta Lounge. Yeah, you get the card with the lounge access it's like an extra like 400 bucks a year it's so worth it oh think about all the coffee and free first off free food food booze great hang yeah you're crazy to not figure that

out i want to get i want to earn it you can get it with the credit card i know i don't use credit what i never use credit what are you a fucking drug mule i don't know. I don't use credit. What? I never use credit. What are you, a fucking drug mule? I don't use credit. You only pay in cash? I don't trust credit. I don't like it. I don't like owing stuff.

You don't... Wait, so you only pay in debit? Debit. I have money in my account. I pay for stuff that comes out of my account. You're fucking out of your mind. I don't like credit. I don't understand it.

It's fake money. Am I going to pay back later? Then now there's a late fee. You pay it at the end of the month. There's no late fee if you pay it on time. I won't understand it it's fake money but i gotta pay back later and then it does now there's a late you pay at the end of the month there's no late fee if you pay it on time i won't i won't pay it i don't trust myself i don't like auto pay what are you fucking crazy that's not bad wait wait this is insanity you gotta set up auto i don't know how to set up auto pay that's gonna take you want the podcast producer to set up your credit card please this would be i would love if harry just robbed you blind that would be the best way to lose all your credit card please this would be i would love if harry just robbed you blind that would be the best way to lose all your money i cannot do anything with a password

with an account no i'm incompetent too but the fact that you're against credit is fucking incredible i don't like credit mark do you understand you get perks with the credit cards i don't that's a myth oh i get. I've never seen one of these points. One of these points I'm hearing about. I have a Delta card. I get fucking free stuff all the time. Really? And I get the lounge.

You get the lounge? Yes. What? I thought only kings and sultans and, you know, athletes. You need to figure this out. I thought the lounge was reserved for, you know, the royalty. Like Prince Harry's getting in there. There's a lot of schlubs in that lounge.

Oh, really? The lounge is beautiful. Well, I did get in because I got the pass from this fireman. Thank you, sir. Eric. It was great. I mean, I was at Hog Heaven. I didn't want to take the flight because I had this big, giant bark lounger.

I'm eating 30 eggs. I'm like like cool hand luke in there i had nine bloody marys you got into a fight with a bigger guy in the lounge exactly i'm putting muffins in my pocket it was the best day of my life dude cool hand luke's a fucking great oh one of the best newman fucking rules rule who's cooler than paul newman very few and divorced and then actually met his the woman he was supposed to be with. What the hell is his wife? The second wife.

She was an actress. Actress. Cool. There's all these videos on YouTube of her busting his balls and he's like, ah, and they're the coolest couple. But yeah. And he always said, why go out? He's the guy who did the quote, why go out for a burger when you got a steak at home?

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Women jerk off to that shit. Yeah, women like being compared to meat. Yeah. Well, as long as you're faithful. As long as you're faithful.

Yeah, he was, Paul, man, I had just seen Slapshot like maybe six months ago for the first time because Dana Gould was like, you've never seen Slapshot? One of the best sports comedies ever. Dude, it's hilarious. It's some of the lines. You're like, this is politically correct for, incorrect for then. For the 70s. It's like the 70s. We are like, this is politically incorrect for then. For the 70s. It's like the 70s where you're like, this is fucking shocking.

I know. But it's hilarious. So funny. It's actually a good movie, too, and funny. It's great. Yeah. The idea of a minor league team that just gets fucked up and really only wins because they're dirty and you're rooting for them is is just perfect yeah complete underdog story so fun ragtag but also he's interesting because he was the one of the

biggest actors ever great actor handsome guy cool guy found auto racing like in the back half of his life and then just was like i only act to do this now wow yeah which is it kind of has this comedy thing where you're like he's obsessed with it he wants to get good at it and he it's like oh you know you sometimes hear about these like lawyers like giraldo like i was a lawyer i was a valedictorian in my college all this but i want to do comedy and so you you keep doing law just to support the comedy but you don't hear it the other way around like he did the we did the acting to do this yeah that's true i mean paul newman it's crazy the span of his career because there's some movies that are kind of underrated of his like hud is underrated oh hud is great but

but my favorite paul newman movie i feel like it doesn't get the shine it deserves it's the verdict oh the alcoholic alcoholic lawyer yeah brilliant i haven't seen david mamet dude yeah really really dark and good i'm gonna re-watch that now that's it i'm gonna re-watch it man that's one of my favorites uh great movie and uh the hustler incredible jackie gleason gleason yeah minnesota fats yes best name of all time. It is one of, and also just the idea of like a pool shark. Like what a cool loungy and dark. Yes. Boozy.

And the fact that like you, you have to like pace your drinking for your job is hilarious. It's kind of like comedy. It is. Yeah. And then the, uh, the color of money, which is kind of a weird sequel to that. He's so good in that. Young Tom Cruise. What's that?

That lady was hot. We're leaving out Butch Cassidy. We're leaving out The Sting is great. Sting is great. Yeah, yeah. Butch Cassidy. Late in his career, Road to Perdition. Oh, yeah.

Great movie. Great movie. Tom Hanks was a badass. No one talks about that movie. Jude Law's in that. He's the villain. Yeah. Remember Chris Rock at the Oscars?

Jude Law. He's in every movie. Jude Law. He he goes even the movies he's not in cupcakes by jude law special thanks and and then tom uh sean penn came out and was like sean penn was like jude law is one of our finest actors yeah man actors are stiff oh the worst that's why i respect the auto racing because i'm like yeah acting come on get out of here yeah it's cool. I mean, I love movies, but like, just don't take it like we're fucking comics.

Don't take yourself so seriously. I love I love how Gervais would just go so hard at them. Oh, the best. The best. So fun. That's like a dying thing to what he's doing. So it's fun to watch him do it in real time. I mean, look at Oscars and all that shit.

It's it's all in the toilet now. It feels like Golden Globes didn't even happen. It's just so pretentious, the idea of the red carpet. Of course. Who are you wearing? It's like, you know what, dude? Of course. LA is such an out-of-touch bubble already, and then you throw this shit on top of it?

Exactly, exactly. They think they're helping, and we got to do the red carpet for the Oscars. And they all cry up there and talk about it. We have to help people. I'm like, you're wearing a $10,000 dress and you just accepted a gold trophy for playing make-believe. And you want us to listen to you? You fucking chooch. And you're talking about nuclear proliferation on stage. Shut the fuck up.

It's unbelievable. It's like, I mean, that's why Gervais was so brilliant. I remember when he said, like, you're all talking about, like, save these people, save that people. You're working for Amazon. I mean, that was like one of the best lines. I was like, ooh, that's cutting because, like, look, I get it. We all got to work. But having that, just the pomposity to go up there.

Yes. That's why comedy is so great because you at least get to keep it real at least we're you know sure we're doing the funny bone and poughkeepsie with the chicken wings and all that shit but like at least we're being honest and and uh and truthful somewhat it's hard to be super integrity it's hard yeah it's hard to be really cocky up there if you're eating wings it is in the crowd but it keeps us not pretentious they should serve wings at the fucking they should the golden globes because that way it'd be hard to be if you if you're wiping your fingers with a moist towelette maybe you'd be like we should calm down yeah exactly give him a check spot i want a check spot at the oscars

jennifer lawrence is bombing why does she oh everyone's paying their bill that's why exactly try that shit for for 10 minutes uh wait i had a thing oh gervais my favorite part is when he goes something something epstein and they all go oh and he goes i know he's your friend i know these are heroes fuck you you all loved harvey 10 years ago you all love this guy. You love Epstein. Get out of here. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure most of them didn't know to the extent of what Harvey was doing. Because that's like, yeah, I think like when you hear murmurs, you're just like, oh boy.

Like Harvey is like a fucking bad human being. Of course. It's like crazy. It is weird to see that like he's like falling apart in prison. That's crazy to go from being the most revered producer. Because you're like, man, that guy's a fucking piece of shit. But he was a good producer. The movies are amazing.

And I think he had a lot of influence on the cuts. It's funny. I was re-watching Entourage on the road. I just need a pick-me-up. I just need a fucking silly kind of fun show. I love Entourage. Yeah, but there's a character who's... I think it's called Weingard.

Oh, is he based on that? It's Weinstein, yeah. He's like a fat guy who's like a genius producer. Is he a shit bag in the show? He's a shit bag, but they keep kind of fucking him over so his outbursts are like semi-warranted. I see. But yeah, I mean it's

he was like, you're like, this is Weinstein. It's crazy that was his influence. Yeah. That he's in a show about showbiz. I mean, Ari Gold is Ari Emanuel, you know? Who's that? Rahm Emanuel's brother, who was like the guy at William Morris. Really?

Yeah. Rahm Emanuel is a beast. Yeah. I mean, I've just seen clips. I don't know anything about his politics, but I've seen clips, and you're like, wow, this guy is a great speaker. A lot of people in Chicago hate him. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know anything about what he does. I've seen clips and you're like, wow, this guy is a great speaker. A lot of people in Chicago hate him. Oh, really? Yeah.

I don't know anything about what he does or who, but he can talk, man. He's good. That family is successful. Yeah, yeah. They are charismatic and quippy and fun and exhilarating to watch. Yeah. I mean, it is crazy. I mean, watching that show, it is hilarious.

You're talking about stuff that won't fly anymore. You're like, this must have been offensive 15 years ago. What's that? I mean, Ari is like the good guy on that show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there were lines where he's like, quick blowjob before it was live. You're like, Jesus Christ. Right, right.

Yeah. Fun show. That was when HBO was like going for it. You know, they had Curb and they had that. They still have Curb. That's true. That's true. But I feel like had Curb and they had that. They still have Curb. That's true. That's true. But I feel like HBO was really cooking for a while.

I mean, it was definitely the premier channel. It was like six feet under. Most shows fucking suck though now. That's what I'm saying. Back then they were like. It's not just HBO. It's everywhere. I mean, everything sucks.

Everywhere's playing it so fucking safe. Yeah. Like HBO had Eastbound and Down. That show. Talk about not playing it safe in a comedy like what comedies are that just balls out i know just all in wacky silly offensive dirty oh it's great good guy doesn't have to be a good guy yes the protagonist can be a piece of shit and we can be smart enough as an audience to be like maybe i don't need to be like this guy

but there doesn't need to be a lesson at the end of course of course yeah that's what i hate about the hollywood is there they say they're progressive and they say they're like uh trying to be inclusive but then they're like we can't have a guy smoking because that's that's bad for the kids but he murdered his wife right so like our priorities are all out of whack, you know? It's like when they're like, we can't show a tit, but we can show you eating a moose knuckle or a moose dick. And you're like, that's way worse. But that's just how we were wired. Well, it's like classic.

Like, you're watching, like, Law & Order SVU. Yes. It's like on NBC, and they're like, her body was decomposing in a dumpster after a guy jizzed all over. And then they're like, ooh, can we say jizz? That's a little, jizz is a little offensive. Don't you have a bit about it? Like you can say this terror, you can show like terrorism and like a dead body in Kuwait, you know, laying on the floor. But you can't say shit.

Yeah, I did a bit about like how on CNN they showed mass shooting footage. But then they bleeped a curse word. Yeah, I did a bit about how on CNN they showed mass shooting footage, but then they bleeped a curse word. Yeah, exactly. It's like you showed a guy murder someone, but they're like, ooh, this might be a little much. That's my point. You say you care about this, but you're just going with where the wind's blowing. You're not actually caring. I just love someone in the fucking control room who's just like, this might be too much. Should we not show it?

They're like, no, just mute it. Right, right. It's insane. Yeah, it's insane. Yeah, it's insane. I'm working on a bit now about all these people are tweeting about how Friends is offensive. And I'm like, look, I get it. You're trying to be inclusive. Because it's not diverse at all. Not diverse.

And they made fat jokes and all this shit. And then I'm like, but we have the Bible. The Bible is everywhere. And the Bible is like rape, homophobia, misogyny, murder, incest, pedophilia. And it's like, yeah, but that's the bible the bible is everywhere and the bible is like rape homophobia misogyny murder incest pedophilia and it's like yeah but that's the bible and you're like but this is a tv show about made-up people it's fiction yeah ah no it's true i mean people uh i'm just saying if you're gonna do it do it you know i just think the goal post has been moving in at a much more rapid pace. Yeah. Oh, for sure.

Where it's like, at the time, Friends, it was a huge hit. I never thought it was funny, to be honest. No, it's a stupid sitcom. I think some of the actors on it are great comic actors. Matthew Perry's a great comic actor. He's a killer. Lisa Kudrow, they're great comic actors and stuff. But I never thought the writing was good.

No. I was always just like this is generic horseshit yeah generic horseshit it's mainstream people loved it i mean it was a huge hit but uh yeah it's not like nuanced or interesting or original but it's just weird that people are like we got to take this down i'm like these are actual real problems you know and you're worried about this this is what you're burning calories on that it just it just feels like it's i mean we covered this last night but it's just it's me me me let me let me get my thing out there because they feel so good about themselves that's what it is

that's what it is yeah and i think you're right we're we're moving so fast but there's still human nature like humans are still egotistical they're still selfish they're still power hungry and fucked up and all that so like obviously in the 50s a black and a black guy and a white lady couldn't get married that was illegal so okay yeah let's change that that's that's crazy but you're right it's like sometimes we're going too crazy and then if you don't go with it you're like you're the bad guy you're like well well let's keep it reasonable yeah that's the whole thing also it's kind of like uh how about just you know i i just think like make new shows is my thing like yeah like they just keep they go

where the money is so it's like let's do a friend's reunion let's do a sex in the city let's bring it back well guess what samantha's out on sex in the city but how about having a black friend this time right you can you can always either expand on an old universe or maybe you fucking make a new show like i saw they're doing another like willie wonka movie with timothy chalamet how about some fucking originality how about an original script in hollywood like you know i think about the lack of originality and like how hard it is to sell something that isn't already like a proven like, like no one wants to make a superhero thing unless it's Marvel or DC. Of course.

So they're like, let's get another character from DC because we have a deal with DC. And you're like, so there's, you act like you want originality, but you just want what you already have a deal with. Like corporate strangulation has killed originality and entertainment. Killed it. We would never get a Pulp Fiction fiction now i don't think so never or like even my big fat greek wedding which was just some lady who wrote a script and it was funny and it got somebody happened to take a shot on it and produce it and then boom we got this great comedy and good for her but i don't know

if that's no one's gonna take a chance now what are you crazy it don't know if that's, no one's going to take a chance now. What are you, crazy? It's too risky. Yeah. But that's what art was supposed to be. Yeah. And then they come after art. You're like, wait, some guy makes a crazy comedy special. You're like, ah, that's offensive. We got to wear it.

They're like, really? Come on. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's hilarious. It's shit they complain about. But then also, by the other side of it, it annoys me when people that are so fucking famous complain about censorship and people coming after them. I'm like, you're doing fine.

You're fucking okay. But did you see Chris Rock came out and said something? Yeah, I like, I thought what he said was accurate though. I thought it was too. What Rock said was that the lack of risk that these companies are taking are hurting entertainment. Yes. I feel like that's exactly what we're saying. I mean, it's kind of like –

I agree, but I read every comment because I'm a psycho, and he got a ton of backlash. And you're like, well, first of all, you're proving his point because he's saying this, and you're like, no, shut up, you boomer. You're out of touch. You don't know what's what. And it's like, well, maybe, hey, we listened to the fat phobic lady who felt threatened. Maybe, can we listen to him?

How come he can't be threatened? You know, he's feeling threatened by this as an artist. He's also an expert at making provocative comedy. Yes, and provocative comedy is fun. Billy Crystal got a ton of shit I saw on Twitter. He got a ton of shit. Because he said, comedy is a landmine now. And it's kind of like people are like, you old man.

And it's like, oh, all of you were fucking upset yeah point point proven point proven exactly you can't see you can't even prove it fuck you you old man it's like he's old yeah like that's that's the like he isn't it's funny when people are like the most sensitive group and they're like you old piece of shit i'm like well, well, the elderly are a group. And that's ageist. I'm not saying he's elderly. I'm just saying he's an older man now. It's like he can't have a fucking opinion.

I know. I know. And I've never been a big Billy Crystal guy and I'm fucking defending him. I'm not either. But like comics. I hear he's a real dick. Oh, really? It's funny.

I've had like three bartenders be like, he's a dick. Oh, interesting. Well, fuck him. Fuck Curly's Gold. He's in. My friend Pete Horry wrote a really good movie with him. It was. I forgot the name of it. bartenders be like he's a dick oh interesting well fuck him fuck curly's gold my friend pete horry wrote a really good movie with him uh it was i forgot the name of it it's harry pull this up it's it's pete horry billy crystal and ben schwartz is great in it it's it's called standing up falling down i've never heard of he's a stand-up in it but it's really solid and my friend pete is

a great writer and uh check it out if you haven't seen it really really it's like a dramedy but it's got a ton of heart and it's a lot of and billy crystal's fucking great in it he's a talent i mean mr saturday night is awesome never saw it oh you gotta watch that that's a great movie when harry met sally great classic great yeah the city slickers was great analyze this is great i mean he's he's a he's a pro yeah but my point is he came out and was like this is weird rowan atkinson was like hey i just i get nervous now doing comedy everybody's like shut up mr bean what the fuck do you know and it's like you know it's bad when a guy who doesn't speak is like shit's getting bad and it's like why can't we acknowledge that he feels this way he's an offensive mime yeah yeah he yeah. He's like, you know.

Canceled. Right. But I just don't get like we're so worried about someone else feeling, where's my safe space? I feel threatened. I was like, well, why can't they have a feeling? And we just go, ah, you're old, you're white, you're dumb. I don't know. Let's include, let's be inclusive and include their thoughts. I think when someone like Rock says that comedy is getting – and he didn't say just comedy.

I think his whole thing was entertainment is getting boring. I mean I'm a big believer in that not everything you see should make you feel great. Sure. We can disagree. I mean that's like – it's crazy to me. Yeah, I just think so much entertainment is so safe now. And part of it is the people you pitch shows to, those offices are so hilariously politically correct that you can't pitch an antihero anymore. No, no, God no. Archie Bunker is like the ultimate piece of shit, unlikable guy, but that's why it was a good show.

Right. Now you have a focus group and they go, I didn't like that guy. He was mean. All right, get rid of Archie Bunker. But he's the whole backbone of it archie bunker's offensive and it's just fucking uh rob reiner on the show now just about a hippie just meathead yeah exactly um i don't know it just it donald glover said the same thing and then everybody attacked him it's like maybe we're on to something maybe there's something cooking here. I don't know. Call me crazy, but I think there's a mom mentality problem in this country.

Get him! That's a great way to put it. And look, everybody's like, what are you guys, alt-right? Like, no, we just want fun, cool, crazy movies and original shit. That's all we want. And also, you can write a bad character without endorsing the views of that character. Of course! It's fiction, you cunts!

I mean, it's hilarious to me that people are like, you can't have this evil character. So everyone's got to be self-righteous and doing the Lord's work. I guess every movie is going to be an Aaron Sorkin movie from now on. You can't handle Sorkin. Yeah.

It's a weird time. And thank God for the internet. As much as I bitch, I'm like, we're lucky we have, you put your special on there. We can put videos on there. And that's also where the people shit on us. So it's got it all, baby.

We got it all. And look, you're allowed to hate us and not like us and whatever, but just watch something else. That's a good system. Yeah, it's funny. That's an attitude I've never understood is like the outrage and the and then the stain on that channel you know what i mean like you're furious but now you're putting all your energy into just hating something i'm like yeah there's a lot of shit i hate i don't just i don't go directly to the creator and be like you fucking suck yeah exactly or you're a bad person that's that's because

people go hey you make something people are allowed to shit on i'm like i get it but you can't call me a ray a racist or something like that's hurting my career now you're hurting my livelihood and you don't know me so you're saying i made a joke in attempt i made a black joke attempting to be funny you called me this horrible thing directly how much worse would it be though if trolls did try to get to know you you're like fuck now i gotta spend time with this guy before he hates me i think i made this exact point last night. So we got to move on. All right.

Let's do a bit, man. All right. All right. I got, uh, I got nothing. What are you, you, you got some stuff cooking. I have an idea. Tell me if there's anything. It's like, so there are these people that go door to door now to convince you to take

the vaccine. Oh, really? Which like, you know, it's just like pathetic that we have this scientific breakthrough in an insane amount of time And we have to convince people Like Jehovah's Witnesses to get on board But there's something amazing about that to me That like and these people won't take it

Because they think it has tracking devices in it The vaccine which is like Well we found you on a Wednesday afternoon So you're not exactly Jason Bourne That's great That's great yeah we're gonna find you anyway yeah you know and also i used to sell knives door-to-door i was on cutco oh yeah i remember that yeah i tried that for like a minute where i did the cold calls

oh it's a nightmare it's a nightmare but yeah that's such a great point we could find you we have the internet we have google maps we have geo tracking and you're worried about this fucking vaccine that could potentially save you yeah that's funny people people don't want to take that vaccine yeah you know it's weird because they would take the flu shot and they would take a polio i think a lot of them don't take the flu shot oh really i think a lot i don't think a lot of people get the flu i've never gotten it really yeah i get every year oh really i mean it's i just don't want to be sick on the road i don't i think it's weird if you travel to not get it i just never get the flu yeah i don't know maybe you just have a better immune system than me which i don't know how with how much you drink i don't know yeah i played and literally played

in dirt as a kid i think that helped me yeah that was the old carlin bit we used to swim in raw sewage tempered and raw shit yeah that was great classic you know what i do with my hands after i wait what does he say i uh i said after i take a shit do i wash my hands no i shit on them what is it oh shit i'll eat a hot dog off the ground in a soccer right in calcutta oh you know when i wash my hands when i shit on them that was it that's hilarious yeah i butchered it all right is this a horrible bit i'm talking about how like rich people are and how like uh oh you're sticking with this one well this is a different thing it's a different thing but like we got it pretty good in america even poor people have a flat screen they got got a phone. They got a car.

But explaining a Peloton to a third world country poor person is wacky. Must be so wacky. Like, all right, you paid $1,200 for a bicycle? And I'm like, you got that right. It's a great bicycle. Well, it must be pretty fast then. Actually, it goes nowhere. Well, does it power your home? No, no, it burns off food that i eat i eat i eat so much food i gotta

burn it off and they're like wait why would you want to burn off food you'll die and they're like cuz i'm trying to look good i don't know how does this power uh electricity do you know what that is right right we have this uh the thing that lights up a room yeah yeah yeah it's just crazy like we're spending this thing so much money on a bike that doesn't go anywhere yeah we there's something just our exercise like we have we are so privileged that we have to work off how privileged we are right we're eating so much great food that yeah you got to burn it off like they just work they work and like you know do labor and burn off that's their exercise so they don't have to exercise yeah have you ever seen like a farmer type guy where you're just like oh shit they

don't they're just like an overall shredded yeah you're just your workout is part of your job right i sit at a desk all day. Yeah. I need to fucking sit on a bike. Yeah. And their privilege is like, I finish my work day, I have a cold beer, I eat some meat or whatever, and I try to get a good night's sleep. We're like, I sat on my ass all day. I watched Netflix. I ate takeout.

So I got to burn this off. you know take out so i gotta burn this off and it's and not only do you sit on this bike but you have to you have a lady on a screen going work it girl come on you know like you need motivation to do shit they probably need that for their uh for their manual labor job yeah that's funny they're putting their phone together. Just grit that screen. You can do it. Yeah, you're special. You go, girl. You don't need no man. They're, like, putting together an iPhone.

It's, like, a 12-year-old girl. That might be too dark, but that's interesting. No, that's good. Could be something there. Could be something there. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Have people done that type of bit?

I don't know. Have you heard anything? I haven't heard it. All right, all right. I feel like I've heard the, what, they use electricity. What's electricity? Yeah, yeah. Don't use that.

But I think the thing about the motivating in the fucking. That's a good angle. That's something. That's a good take. Yeah. What did he do? Two hours? How long was that?

Matt? Uh-oh. Well, like an hour and 20. Oh, okay. Okay. that's fair we should plug gigs yes what do you got cooking uh i got atlantic city this this friday and saturday i believe that's when this comes out i got tampa side splitters uh the following thursday through saturday i got uh raleigh Nights, the one after that. I got a bunch of other ones coming up.

I got Madison coming up. That's the best string of gigs of all time. Oklahoma City, Bricktown. That's a good room. I got Nashville Zanies coming up. Oh, it's a great room. Great city. Governors in Levittown. We had a drop off there.

I was at the Knicks game the other night, though, and a guy was like, we'll be a governor. I love that. Okay. And then I got comedy up Broadway in Kentucky we'll be a governor. I love that. Okay. And then I got comedy up Broadway in Kentucky. That's a good room. Great classic.

Atlanta. Atlanta. Oh, that's not until September. Sorry. I got a lot coming up, I'll tell you. Kansas City in August as well. Comedy Club of Kansas. Oh, I don't know that one.

It's in Missouri. It's new. It's supposed to be good. Oh, okay. Great. Yeah. All these available. Sam Morrell.com slash shows. I can't wait that one. It's in Missouri. It's new. It's supposed to be good. Oh, okay, great. Yeah, all these available, samorell.com slash shows. I can't wait to see you on the road.

And, you know, by the way, before we even say anything else, this studio has been great to us. We're so grateful for it. Matt, Gotham Studios, you guys are the best. Really appreciate it. Happy we got a home here for we might be drunk. Here, here. Love the room. Love Matt. Here, here. Love the room. Love Matt. Love the studio.

Love the space. It looks great. It feels great. It feels like home, goddammit. Except for the charging. And if you want to send weird packages to us, this is the place. Yeah, yeah. We've gotten a few already.

So send us some liquor. Send us some booze. Gotham Studios. Send us anything you got. 38th Street. Yeah, we'll take it. Don't send it to Gotham Comedy Club. No, no, no, no.

Although we might still get it there. That's true, yeah. I'm there all the time. Where are you going to be, man? All kinds of fun stuff. Virginia Beach, Funny Bone. Never been to Virginia Beach. Never done the club.

Pretty excited about that. Orlando Improv, which I didn't know they had an improv. I feel horrible. Never been there. I think it's supposed to be good. Oh, great. Didn't you play that club back in the day? Never did Orlando Improv. I thought you did. Isn't it like Hard Rock or something?

I thought you did it. I've opened for people at big places. Sean Patton likes that club a lot. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, great. I love Patton. Check him out.

San Antonio, the Rock Box. I'm trying to dabble in some rock clubs. Portland Helium. That's a fun one. I'm there in August, too i love i love portland man love portland funny bone in uh toledo that could be i never done it but that could be rough city i did it but i featured there like back in the day for who lisa landry whoa 2011 i think wow i forgot about lisa it's been a while we had we saw the planet the eighth movie she was a fun hang

she's cool she drinks yeah yeah houston improv that's a big room ph We saw the Planet of the Apes movie. She was a fun hang. She's cool. She drinks. Yeah, yeah. Houston Improv. That's a big room. Philly Helium. All kinds of fun stuff. Buffalo Helium. Dayton Funny Bone. Appleton Skyline.

Arlington Improv. So, yeah, a lot of fun dates. MarkNormanComedy.com. Check out our specials. We're all over YouTube. Give us some clicks. Give us a comment for the Alago. And Rex, Peeves, WeMightBeDrunkPod at Gmail. some clicks give us a comment for the aligo and uh rex peeves we might be drunk pod at gmail send us a drink a movie you like a peeve a joke whatever you got we'll take it and we'll read

them on the patreon patreon.com slash we might be drunk pod yes tell a friend spread the love spread the cheeks we'll see you on the road folks thanks again gotham all right