We Might Be Drunk - Ep 261: Sam Morril and Mark Normand

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

No guest this week, but Mark and Sam go deep on bombs, butt-plug subway sightings, Skankfest chaos, slow eaters, Chipotle crimes, Utah threesomes, Knicks heartbreak, Fallon and Stiller encounters, panic attacks on stage, AI nightmares, Hedberg memories, and a full tour through comedy hell gigs. This one has everything: rants, peeves, wild stories, wisdom, filth, and a surprising amount of baseball. Sponsored by: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today athttps://shopify.com/drunk Find your forever cookware @hexclad Visit https://hexclad.com and cook like a pro. #hexcladpartner For a limited time, get 40 percent off your entire order Go to https://GetSoul.com and use the code WMBD F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15 percent off with the code DRUNK15 https://theperfectjean.nyc/DRUNK15 #theperfectjeanpod Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril tickets: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand tickets: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #Shopify #Hexclad #GetSoul #PerfectJean #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did he really just butt plugs? I'm getting a lot of butt plugs stuff in my algo. No, not I. Like people inserting them on the subway. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really weird. Butt plugs? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who's inserting a butt plug on the subway? Like, ladies? You tell us. It's on the two train. All right, all right. And we're off to the races, guys. Good to be back. which I'm kind of pumped for it's about time we got a lot to talk about it's been a minute I mean

not really we still we talk but that's true but I was in skeg fest you were in Utah we did a next game you bombed at a mr. baseball ooh that hurt dude that was that was it is you ever those cartoon bombs where you just start sweating mm-hmm it's insane you're it's like your body's having a reaction yeah it's it was awful it was I felt bad your body's going through fight or flight you don't even realize it you know just get the back sweat your mouth gets dry you kind of start stammering but you walk in oh yeah there we go with donny baseball himself don't maddingly i just posted yeah sometimes you uh bomb in front of one of your heroes that's part of you don't think about that when you get into this you're like i'm it's gonna work out you don't

think like someday a guy who got me into baseball will see me fail at what i love damn well he never won a ring so uh-huh you saw him fail too he was he was a great it's not his fault he was a great I love Donnie baseball. Did he pat you on the butt after? Like, oh, good game. No, he was, I think he was nice because he probably felt horrible for me. You know what happened was, so I'm basically doing stand-up at this gold glove recipients dinner. It's a really nice gig.

It's at the Plaza Hotel, which I realize, I don't think I'd ever been inside. Wow. A lifelong New Yorker, and I was like, I don't think I've been inside here. It's gorgeous. It's one of those gigs where they're being like, it's going to be great. They say it so many times you're like, oh, I'm going to bomb. When they start saying how great it is, and then they let slip that another guy had done the gig and done so poorly that he didn't get paid. Right.

He had to give the money back. So he did so bad. So this is the first thing I hear. Then they say another legend who I'm not going to say either of their names. I'll tell you off there. Daryl Strawberry. No, he still got paid. No, but they have another guy who they said basically got chased off stage.

It was like a whole thing. Whoa. Okay. I'm hearing this is great. So far, I've heard two tough stories. here. Yeah. But the guy running it was super. They were all so nice and they're all giving all these gifts. It's Rawlings. Wow. All these nice like here's a leather bag from the material that we make our gloves from. And I was like, damn, I play with a Rawlings glove as a kid.

This is pretty cool. And I walk in and I'm like, you know, I'm like Dave Winfield, legend, all these great, Johnny Bench, who is like, is there. We've got some award. Dude, best Johnny Bench story. And if you heard this story, great baseball player, Mickey Mantle goes up to him at this thing and goes, hey, let's go across the street and have a drink at the Marriott. And Johnny Bench is like, my hero, Mickey Mantle wants to drink with me. Oh, my God. So he takes him across the street.

And as they try to walk in, the bouncer goes, I can't let you back in, Mickey. Oh, that's great. He was using him to try to get back in the bar. Because he got kicked out. He got kicked out. Oh, that's hilarious. So I'm at this event. Did the guy go, you're out of here.

So I'm at this event, and it's like, you know, it's the plaza. It's super nice. Sure. And I even wrote a bunch of baseball jokes. I was like, I'm going to write jokes. I'm going to come prepared. I wrote like a good eight minutes or so baseball jokes. You give us anyone, best one, worse one, anyone.

I'll give you a few. Yeah, I opened, this hit. I opened by saying, this is the gold glove dinner. We award the people with the nastiest hands. Unfortunately, Andrew Cuomo couldn't be here tonight. Big pop out of the gate. Then I said, I had a bunch that did. well i said uh the los angeles dodgers congrats to the dodgers uh you guys won the world

series what an inspiring story the team with the most money won it's like a metaphor for america if you're rich you'll be all right unfortunately the rest of us are kind of like the colorado rockies high and not doing well hey that got a big pot i had some i had a few like yeah i wrote these all the day i was like i'm feeling good i wanted about clayton kershaw having like a fat gut and still striking dude i'm like you're getting fan by a guy who looks like paul giamati without his shirt on. They're all killing. I'm like, I'm here and good.

I look in the crowd. I see Bob Costis, like, toasting a glass. I'm like, holy shit, broadcasting legend. Bob Costis, love Costas. The Greek. And I'm like, I'm killing. I'm going to fucking kill. And by the way, it was a weird setup.

I'm going on right after some like rockette dancers and Joe Piscopo. Oh, my God. And Piscoe could not have been cooler. Super nice girl. Yeah, S&L, Joe Piscopiscoe of the 80s. This is like a fever dream. It's crazy. So, yeah, I'm doing a bunch of baseball.

They all are hitting. I do a bunch of jokes about, I can't remember a bunch of the rest of them, but they were all kind of hitting. I was like, wow, I'm kind of locked in. This is pretty good. And then it gets to a point where I'm like, well, I'm out of baseball jokes.

I guess I kind of just have to do my act. But you think you'd buy some goodwill with these. You wrote jokes for the event. They're hitting. You should be in the zone. They're hitting. And, dude, holy shit.

I don't know how I lost him that hard. I did, I'm like, what did my jokes that hit the hardest? I'm thinking like specials. I'm like anything off limits or like nothing. I did a dick joke and I just heard a woman go, oh, I was like, that's not the sound

I was going for. That's what you want to hear when you whip it out. Yeah. No, because it was an ugh of disgust. Oh, that's what I get. Dude, it was terrible. So I go from like killing to just silence and it's one of those weird gigs

where I'm like this is like a gala dinner with awards. They don't want to hear a comic for more than 10 minutes. So if it was just 10 minutes, I would have crushed. That's true. But they were like, you have to do 30. They did not want to hear me do 30. They never went 30. It was bad, dude.

And I had an agent there, and she tried to leave. I go, where do you think you're going? I was like, you're watching me get drunk. I'm not doing this alone. So we started ordering rounds. I'm like, keep him coming. Oh, yeah. And it was one of those tough things were like, they were, I think, disappointed with how it went,

but they also were like, he did his act. Wow. I would even do his act. A lot of the jokes hit. I think they were just shocked it went so south. Yeah, you're the new Trevor Bauer. It's been disgraced. You kicked out of the league.

Oh, wow. That sucks. Brought to you by the same people to talk like this. This is George Brett talking about shitting his pants. Have you ever seen this? Let's see. Yeah, but I don't think the players were the problem. I think it's like the players why.

Of course. I think that was the issue. I had to go to bathroom. I'm so bad in the car. I'm going, travel. Come up, man. I got a shit. George Brett was a.

Man, dude. If you're going to get caught a hot mic, this is what you want. You know, he could have had a slur in there or something. I'm good twice a year for that. Dude, so anyway, I'm at, I'm at the cellar, and Keith Robinson walks up to me and he goes, I heard you bomb this dinner. And I said, oh, what happened? He goes, a friend of mine called me.

And she goes, do you know Sam Marelle? And Keith goes, yeah. And she goes, read the fucking room. Do you remember where he lost them? Keith was dying laughing. Oh, that's great. Do you remember where you lost him? No, it was a few.

Because I was a little up and down for a while, and then I just kind of lost him. Like, I kind of bridged in a stand-up. I did that rain-delay baseball joke, and that killed. Okay. And I kind of had a few good jokes in there. I had a few others that just hit, and it just kind of fizzled out, but it's... Well, you know what? Read the room.

Let me defend a friend here. Read the booking sheet. Like, look at his website. Look at a bit of his, you know? Like, you can't just book. all these people and then go, oh, it wasn't exactly perfectly curated to my standards. Well, 30 minutes is too long. I agree.

Like, at that type of thing, picture any awards show you watch. If you're watching the Oscars, they're not doing 30. Yeah, of course. They're doing like five, that's what it should be. And they hit the wrap-up music, you know, because they know everybody's like, keep it moving. Yeah. Yeah, I did a gig, I don't want to say,

it was a Jewish gig, and I'm the only... You don't want to say it, but you just told us? Well, it was more than that, but I was the only non-Jew there by a mile. I saw one black guy we did this, you know. Why is he pointing at me? And, oh, there you go. The thing about the red hat that drove into a point of exhaustion,

which was misdiagnosed by a, I'm not going to say what race, what people doctor. And what hospital and what media went to. We know I can't say that. It was a Jewish doctor. That was the black guy I pointed to. By the way, that was more restraint than we're used to seeing. Yeah. It took him 22 seconds to say the Jew thing.

He cleaned it up. It took him a while to blame us. So, of course, I went too hard out of the gate. I'm the only non-Jew there. I'm the go, and we were up on this high thing doing a show. I go, boy, we're so high up. I feel like Anne Frank. You know, and they're like, boo.

And I go, come on, I took a train here. you know and they're like fuck you and then i do my act they hate me they hate me at one point i have a muslim bit that i'm this bit hits so i'm like i'm gonna do the muslim bit in the jew room this is gonna crush and the joke started working and then the mic went out it went and then it came back on and i went oh man how ironic the uh muslim joke didn't work here you guys really do run shit applause break wow and then i went back to bombing it is funny when you get him for a set and it's like complete pander i know it's like complete and it's like i've done it yeah i was doing i did that all the shit you have to do it like around applause this guy's here

zing him like whatever and i got a couple those off but then it was like oh man 30 minutes is crazy you know it's like fighting like a pro fighter you're like if i last seven minutes this is great yeah no i was like it was one of those that we were like you're a little shaking after you're like oh yeah that's rough they make a great manhattan at the plaza though no i had a few of them I was downing him, yeah. And then the agent and I, we end up at a bar. She's just watching me get shit-faced. Yeah.

And met Ruby and Scott Rogowski hit the town late night. All right, good. Ruby in his fedora. We just got lit. I was like, I just need to get it. It's one of those gigs. Sometimes you bomb and you're like, alcohol will help. Yeah, for sure.

It is a good short-term solution. Yes. Like, look, if I do that every night, you're not going to bomb every night, but you have a hard bomb, you get lit up. Sometimes you're like, ah, thank God for alcohol. I know, I know. That's why these sober people, I'm so impressed. Like, you go through something and you just have to raw dog it.

Yeah. That's impressive. You have to feel pain. Yeah, like, I was at Skank Fest, and the best way to get through Skank Fest is I just drink the whole time. You know, you wake up, you have a bloody Mary, then you just keep going, and then by six, you're like, whoa, and then you have to do a set. How was that set? It was a little wonky, but. Much like the baseball thing

I'm so blue You can see by the bloated face That's me doing a white power You look pretty defeated here Oh yeah I'm hurting But you got a social That's Greg Fitzsimmons I don't know who that guy is

I think that's Bart Coleman He used to book At Midnight back to the old one And he used to book Was it Ferguson or Yeah one of those One of those But oh yeah

That's a good pick He did it sober the whole way And it's very impressive That's his life That's his life There's Rachel in the back On the left But yeah

It was a wild time But I drank the whole time And I'm still hurt It was two days ago And I can still feel it Like I'm still not there So I hate that

What's also the travel dude We're getting order Like I'm in Utah weekend You have a few drinks I had one So I did five shows I feel like you do a five show Club weekend

One will be bad Of course Usually In inevitable The Saturday Late show sucked They just sucked I think

I feel like the Saturday Late Show has swapped with the Friday Late Show. Interesting. You should be the Friday Late Show is a bad one. Now it's like, no, they were fucking dumb. Yeah. I was just like, wow, they were really, Veter hated them. I was like, I could tell them, like, fuck, they're not giving it up. Damn.

When they're not getting the dry guy. Yeah. I'm like, shit, all right. But, yeah, just immediately went back to my hotel, started just pounding fucking martinis. I was like, let me just get lit up. At the hotel bar? Yeah. Nice.

Made Veter sit there. doesn't drink. I'm like, get a shrimp cocktail. He's like, all right. Yeah, well, this goes right into my peeve. Yeah. This is my fucking peeve is everybody goes, you know, it's the last night of skankfuss or whatever, whatever you're doing. Everybody goes, what time's your flight? What time's your flight?

And my flight was at 11 or something. So everybody goes I think you can go hard. Yeah, they go, that's not bad. That's not bad. I hate that. That is bad. Because you've got to get there at 10, which means you've got to leave at 9 and I've been drinking till 4. So 9 a.m. isn't late.

You know, they go, oh, 11, that's not bad. No, no, no. Nine at night isn't bad. 11 still sucks because it's still morning. I got another peeve for you for a morning peeve. At my hotel, they do like a brunch thing, and they have a little, I guess on Sundays it's a buffet. For the other days, it was just regular.

But for Sundays, a live band at a brunch annoys this shit. Oh, I'm with you. It's too early. I'm with you. You want to take it even worse? Jazz band, which I'm fine with. I love jazz. normally, if it's a little later,

jazz band with drums. No drums at breakfast. We're all drinking. I'm hung over. Yes. I don't want to hear a fucking beat. I'm hurting. Yeah, get out of here.

I don't need Buddy Rich. He's in my head already. It's pounding. Dude, I was hurting. Yeah, it just sucked. That's a peeve for sure. Yeah, that's a good one. And we have a thing in New Orleans, this jazz run.

It's the ultimate jazz brunch at Commander's Palace. but they walk around and it's a guy with a stand-up base and a clarinet and that's it also if you're known for it I feel like it could work you know what you're walking into

but I didn't know what I was walking into and you can't walk anywhere in Salt Lake City dude that downtown is fucking Portland meth sits walking dead over there dude it is bad it's sad it's wild you never hear any politicians being like

I'm gonna run on really helping these people they're just like forgotten they're just like forgotten but like what about that person who's fucking what's the plan for this we just let these pharmaceutical companies and these sacklers whenever ruin the country

it's crazy I know and they're all out there that's a human it's fucking awful it's crazy they're all that one area by the club and they were by the those you don't you want to do a lot I'm a walker I like to stay downtown wherever I go I like to just take walks

and we walked a few blocks and we were like we shouldn't we shouldn't walk damn it's bad that sucks yeah I would go to bring them young and just walk around That doesn't look great either Bring them young Yeah

That's what you say to your show Bring them young Exactly But yeah That's a beautiful campus But you realize how serious The Mormon shit is When you go to Utah

You're like Oh wow You guys take this seriously Or they're like the biggest Alcoholics you've ever met Yes There's no middle ground They're either deeply religious

Or they're so Rebelling against it Yeah Had my first threesome in Utah Because they're just like It's like you said It's either Cub Scout or porn star. Wait, you say first threes?

You had multiple threesomes? Sure. I bet he's had multiple threesomes in Utah. Oh, that's great. How many threesomes are we talking? Three. That's pretty good. Yeah. Well, college was wild. Yeah? But Utah, what happened there? How old were you? This is 2013.

Damn, young comic. Yeah. Yeah, a pretty good set. Playing wise guys. Doing the meet and greet. And, uh, just. Mead and greet, that's how it happened. She was an older broad, real, real saggy catcher's mitt. She'd seen a few winters, and I said, she goes, hey, we loved you. I'm here with my friend, and I did a photo, and I go, hey, we should go out.

And they were like, sure, let's go out. And we went out, and then. So you disappointed a catcher's mitt, too. Oh, Johnny Bench. Her name was Rawling. No, yeah, we went back to Erha Hotel. Yeah. That was it.

But they were up there. I'm talking. How old? I'm talking each... I was, what, 31 or something? And they were probably 48? That's not bad. No, I'm not complaining.

It was a great night. And at that age, that's kind of like cool because it's more like, you know, crazy. Yeah. And, you know, I finished in seven seconds because I got two grandmas here. And I'm killing these grandmas like Cuomo. And... Golden gloves. How about the golden girls?

I'll tell you. So I finish at six seconds, but then they go at each other. And you can just sit there and go like, oh. And they were friends? Yeah, I mean, there's a Utah horse. Can you imagine, like, no dudes, whatever. We're double teaming. A chick, we make her comment.

I'm like, dude, we should, we should fuck each other. That's great. Write that down. That's gold. Something in the last episode, Tim, I got to get from you. We'll figure it out. We'll find it later. All right, yeah, but, yeah, wild night.

Yeah, God damn, dude. Yeah. Threesome in Utah. I got in a little trouble because there was a woman who I did hook up with once there, and I told a story about her tongue in my old pooper on a Jim Norton's pod. And she was like, people from work sent me that. And I was like, what did name you? That was just a coincidence.

You were like, that wasn't about you. It was a different pooper liquor. Yeah, the old tongue in the butt. Was that in Utah? Yeah. Oh, that's funny because they can't drink coffee, but they'll eat ass. Like, what are we doing here? I guess it's hot in the book or whatever.

I thought they a tongue and a butt. If you're trying to get a guy jump started again for round two, you're like, you're like, wow, boing right up. Right up there. Holy shit. And ironically, it tastes like a nine-fold. But, yeah. God damn. Tongue in the poop.

Yeah. You never done a three? I don't think I have. No. I'm like Caitlin Clark. A lot of three. I'm going to have only a three-time, but it's just asking. It's just like throwing it out there.

Right, I should be doing that. This is kind of the last phase of my life. I could probably pull that off. Yeah, that's true. You better do it. Got to make it happen. This is it. This is Sammy's threesome year.

Yes. Maybe next year. It's almost the end of the year. That's true. This is starting now, 12 months. 12 months for a threesome. We should get a counter, like a big, like how many days till an injury or whatever? I like it.

Let's do it. Let's do it. I think I could pull it off. Boy, the day you come in, you've got to buy some poppers and sparklers and confetti. Because when that thing flips, we're going to go ape shit. Yeah, dude, I think it could happen. Well, bring the girls on. You guys believe in me?

Yeah, hell yeah. Just start throwing out in the world. Patreon. Yeah, put it out in the world. It'll happen. How we think of Jim Jeffery's bit about how we get the threesome and the hot one left and the other one's like, I'll still do it. And he goes, you were kind of part of a package deal. Oh, my God.

A package deal. that's a good name for a gay bar package deal wow Jim's got I would have done it I mean she's there I know how bad are we talking is the question

I guess that's the question yeah yeah it is tough I mean like I don't know the road too I'm at the age now where I'm like do I want I value sleep sure sure like I'm thinking Gary's gonna want to get breakfast

in the morning and I'm like how shitty do I want to feel right and now you gotta get rid of two ladies that's a lot of work It is, it's tough man But then sometimes you just go Fuck it got to do it for the Like when we got hammered on

You left on Wednesday with me I got fucking Bombed Oh yeah And we were both already pretty drunk And I was hung over that morning So I don't know how you did it I was dying

Yeah We were lit up at the next game They got crushed And Yeah And then we ended up at that stand Holiday party Yeah

Free booze Those holiday parties are tricky Because you find a cool corner Sometimes you get cornered by people You're like I don't want to fucking hang with this person and you know what the worst thing this is another peeve this happened at skank fest too when you're trying to be nice and you're chit-chatting with a rando that you don't really want to be talking to and you've got a fun guy right here and you're like how do i just get and then they start doing this one they go oh by the way i uh i run this show out of a sewage plant in piccy and you're like oh yeah is that right they're like yeah yeah you should do my come up there you'll do my podcast then you can do the show at the sewage plant and then you can sleep at my house and you're like oh yeah

It's going to be the end of the episode. Mark's like, three shows at the sewage plant. We added a show. We sold out the first two. I know. And you're like, why are you asking me for things? I'm shitface. It's like hitting on a girl when she's passed out.

Well, Rachel was telling me that someone was kind of talking and talking to it. And then they go like, man, you really don't want to be talking to me, do you? It's like, well, if you feel that, why would you put them in that position? Exactly. Yeah. Every time I'm talking to one of those type of guys, I feel bad for women. I'm like, they have to do this all the time. Women, yeah, because, like, hot chicks.

Yeah. Or just any chick. Pretty much, yeah. Pretty much. Exactly. You just have to deal with, like, hey, you. I know, I know. That's got to be tough.

Can't tap them. You got to just. Tap them. You see them tap the women, too. Excuse you. The tap and the turnaround, you're like, ooh, that's bold. I know. Can't be doing the tap.

You better have a great line when she turns around. I was at your Stick or Treat Show? Yes. And a comic that I knew a while back, she came up to me. She was totally dressed up, and then she was like, it's me. I was like, who are you? I was like, I could tell who the character they were. Yeah.

And they're like, you don't know who I am? And I was like, no. At least you don't know who I am. But you have the dress-up excuse on the costume. Totally. I was like, how long are we going to do this? I was like, this is more embarrassing for you than it is for me. Yeah, good point.

Just tell me who you are. Who was it? It was Liz, what's her name? Miele? No. The, she played Amy Schumer. Oh, yeah, Liz Glazer. But she, like, lost a lot of weight, too.

And she had a blonde wig on. And a giant blonde wig. Yeah. It is hard to tell the costume thing. Yes. Yeah, but you're right. Just get out with it. Yeah, man, I got fucking hammered on, uh, at that party.

That was, that was a mess. Yeah, yeah, that was wild. That was late, man. When did you get home? Because I got home to, like, one. I was so drunk. I remember on my walk home, I just started pissing on the street alone. Oh, yeah.

It's rare that you're that drunk. Usually the pee on the street move is you have a friend to watch. Right. Not that for cops, just to watch me pee. I like that. No, you have the guard, the guard person for it. But I just found a block that was pretty dead. I was like, I'm fucking pissing.

Yeah. I'm sorry, I did that on the train platform recently where I was so drunk. I was like, ah, that's the train platform. And I peed in a corner, and I look over and a woman was like, oh! And I was like, oh, geez, I'm that guy. I thought I saw I was taking a piss. But you realize when you're sober, you see that. guy you're like he's scary it's also the best time for you to be recognized nah

because you get recognized it's like you know he's pissed you seem like i i ran a mark what was he doing drunkenly pissing on a subway platform yeah damn all right that's good branding for the pod it might be drunk dude it's uh yeah it was it was it got dicey there was a lot of fun yeah it's fun but at some point i'm at those i'm getting drunk and i'm realizing i'm losing my voice i'm like oh hell yeah because the music's on and everything that's the festival problem. Exactly. You know the voice. Yeah, everybody at Skangfest at the airport was just like, Hey, Don, hey, what, yeah, what are you, JetBlue? Yeah, because we're all just screaming the whole.

Do you have a lot of comics on the flight back? Yeah, we were actually talking about this. The airport was just riddled with comedians, and everyone's hung over, everyone's miserable, and you realize, like, everyone, no one wants to talk to each other. At the fest, we're all high-fiving. Because some of these people are you friends with us, some of your people are like, oh, we're just both comics, we're acquaintances. So when you see, see an acquaintance in the airport after a festival, it's so awkward. And then I realized, how awkward would that Epstein flight be on the way home? Oh, that's a good bit.

You know, like, the private jet's got to be like, hey, what's up, Hawking? Yeah, yeah. That post-nut. Yeah, right, right. The breakfast was good, huh? Dude, yeah, I remember when we were in that airport in Orlando, and I was just puking into the bathroom store? Yes.

Mark saw me puking and he brings in a bottle of ginger ale that he just hands over the stall. Oh, that's a friend. Bro move. I've been there. Been the puking. Gingerail does help. Oh, yeah. I was at the airport with Burt Kreischer.

This is 2015 or something. I went on a European tour with Burt. That was the most ambitious thing you've ever done. It was insane. I don't know how you did that. I'm surprised I'm alive. I think I lost like two years of my life on that tour. because the problem is Burt drinks at the airport

because he's scared of flying. That's why he's a bus guy. So I have to drink with him because I'm the opener. So you think you're going to break. By the way, that's the funniest reason to drink because you're scared of dying. Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, fucking hammered. Because I'm scared I might die. Yeah. This is not helping. No, no. There was one point I went to pee. We were on the flight. He was in first class.

I was in the back. And I had to go pass him and he had like six beer, empty beer cans on his tray. And he was just like, I was like, wow, this guy's either having DTs or really scared of flying or both. It is so fun to drink on flights, though. That's the problem.

Yeah. It's fun to just throw in a movie and just have a fucking few beers or like a couple of whiskeys. It's like, it's hard to beat that. It's great, it's great. And flying with him is fun because he's shirtless. Yeah, TSA is quick for him. They're like, all right. Yeah, yeah.

Dude, I flew back. I'm watching, you ever see that? Here's a wreck, by the way. Have you seen the movie Nebraska by Alexander Payne? You know what? I flip by it all the time, and I've never watched it. It's phenomenal. Really?

Did you not like it? I love it. It's incredible. Wow, okay, I'll watch it. It's black and white. It's weird. It's Bruce Dern. Will Forte.

He's great. He's great. He's always good. I love him. McGruber. Dude, it's so fucking good. It's like weird and funny and then also kind of like sad. Didn't it win something?

I think he won best actor for this. Did he? Oscar? Yeah, I think so. Oh, shit. It's great. Great, man. I loved it. All right, I'll check it out.

I've always wanted it to, but you see the cover, and it looks kind of heavy. Like somebody probably dies immediately. I just couldn't do it. I would say it's pretty funny. Okay, great. I laughed a lot. It's a lot of weird dialogue and hilarious. He won at Cannes, and he was nominated for an Academy Award.

Dude, it's awesome. I loved it. Alexander Payne is a fucking beast. He's, election is underrated, I think. Sideways? Yeah, of course. fucking, um, I like the descendants with Clooney. I like the overcheat, no, overlords.

Holdovers. Holdovers. I loved it. I loved it. Oh, he did about Schmidt. I didn't even know that. I haven't seen that, actually. Is that good?

Yeah, it's pretty good. Well, naked Kathy Bates. Yeah. Now we're talking. Yeah. That was one of the women Mark fucked in that three songs. Yeah, he's a great filmmaker, dude. It's like kind of underappreciated, you know?

Agreed. Yeah. I love, oh, Jesus Christ, almighty. Holy shit Good golly Well good for her for going for That's brave everybody's like Oh brave that's fucking brave

She's fucking brave She's fucking she's awesome She's the best She's a great actor One of the best All right well now I'm in misery Now good Good for you Kathy

I got Do you got any peeves Oh I had the flight one Hold on I got I got a peeve But you go I got a peeve Really slow eaters

Ooh Really, really, I find it really annoying. Interesting. I have a guy on the road, slow eater, so we're always waiting. I'm a fast eater, too, so I'm my worst person. I just fucking inhale shit. Yeah. But, yeah, I'm with my buddy. He probably knows what I'm talking

about. I love you, Brian. He's the slowest fucking eater in the world. I mean, so Gary and I are eating and we wolf our stuff down. He takes him longer to get his food because he ordered some weird vegan shit. Oh, boy. So we're already, like, he had to go off another menu or something at the hotel.

he uh he gets it and then we're all we've been done for 10 minutes he gets his food just like literally like what are we filming a scene here right you don't need to keep it on the plate let's fucking go yeah we're losing it we're like come about eat it i know because you know you only have someone to eat hours in the day on the road like you want to like get the writing done maybe hit the gym walk around you want to stay on schedule you want to i like i like a good as much as i don't like a slow thing i love a like a like a I love a scheduled day. Yeah.

I love to be like, we'll meet here at three. It's like, perfect. Yes. I always want to accomplish more on the road. Like we were like, let's see begonia stops in and we got to see Bologna. And then we didn't, we were like the day got away. The movie's tough because you know that's going to be with travel. That's a full three hours.

Easy. Easy. And fucking the trailers and everything. Yeah. Minimum. But then you feel like you got to get there somewhat early just in case. You don't want to miss the beginning. Yeah.

What's a good thing about reserve seating? you can skip those 25 minutes and just show up to your seat. That's true. Yeah. That's true. Yeah, I guess we're making it a bigger problem than it actually is. But no, I'm with his slow eat. I have a guy on the road.

He does a slow eating, and it's bad for me because he'll have half his meal left. And I go, I guess you're about done here. And I started reaching for it because I like a good leftover. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm eating this. And then he does a thing where there's like a couple bites left and the waitress is like, oh, this is clearly, let me take that. And he's like, no, no, no, I'm working on this. He's like working on it.

There's like two peas and a crust. Almost that term annoys me, still working, working, you're eating, you're not working. Yeah, that's true. Still working on this? It's an annoying term. Yeah, yeah, brutal. So I'm with you on that one. Now, similar ballpark.

Yeah. I got a lot of Chipotle peevs. I went to a Chipotle again. But you're like the Chipotle King. I love Chipotle, but I, here's a peeve. You go in and they try to, they're so autopilot that they're like, they think they can predict your order. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. like I'll go uh let's see I'll do the end she goes oh yeah you want sour and I'm like no I don't want sour and so she's like oh I thought you wanted sour and I'm like I never said sour she put the sour on so now we got to make a new bowl and she's like chicken I'm like no I want beef stop predicting but they just want to like get it moving so yeah that was a peeve that's insane that's that's that's an insane thing to do just decide what you are getting exactly because I think 99% of people get sour cream so they're just like oh I don't know the sour cream either because they fucking

They pile it. It's always too much. Always. It's too much. So I just, I wish they'd treat the chicken like the sour, you know? I always go double chicken, baby. You got it. Get extra chicken in there.

Yeah. So that was one. And how about this guy? The guy who reaches over the glass. You know? It's already a germ fucking cesspool. Exactly. And I'm not the biggest germaphobe.

It's just fucking nasty. Yeah. We got the glass for a reason. I want the pico, give me the lettuce. And you're like, they know what lettuce is. You can just say lettuce. Like pointing to lettuce isn't like, oh now I get it you know so that's annoying this guy who doesn't think they speak

English I guess so yeah but I think they've been there long enough to know lettuce and whatever peppers I got one to tag on yours if that's oh please please yeah you ever like order a burger and then it comes with mayo and you're like I didn't order mayo and they take it back and they just scrape the mayo off and give you a same fucking burger that's a fucking weird move yeah that's a bad burger the this if there's like a special sauce it comes on it that's one thing, but just putting like ketchup or mayo on before is a fucking weird move. I'll do that. Let me do that. Yeah, that's

true. You order a burger some places. If it's like also known for a burger place, I let them like, all right, it's your place, you do your thing. Right. Feel it like Manetta or something like that. Even the cellar they got that good burger. Great burger. But yeah, I'm with you. I hate a Mayo's bold, but I fucking

I never related to that Pulpiction scene where he's pissed about the mayo and the fries. Because I fucking love mayo and fries. No, thank you. That's like the, you don't like that? No, no. It's fucking delicious. Ugh.

Why? What do you? I'm a ketchup. I like, I'm a mustard guy over ketchup. Mustard on fries? Well, not on fries. Just as a general. Yeah, I love mustard.

But yeah, ketchup on a fry is the way to go with a mayo. Oof. Where are you on, are you one of these ranch guys? No. Dip the pizza in ranch. Dip the bread and ranch. Okay. I don't, I get why people do it, but I don't like ranch that much.

I like, even wings on blue cheese. Oh, yeah. Love blue cheese. But, uh, no. I've never been big on ranch Yeah, yeah I don't mind a little ranch on a cell But yeah

These guys who dip it in everything Now ranch comes on Papa Johns They give you a pack of ranch Really? Yeah, that's how big it's gotten Yeah, man I'm never Usually, I'm happy with just regular pizza

Same I don't need the, we're doing enough I will say In my poor days I would go ham on the garlic And the red pepper Just because it was something free And it also just changed it up

Yeah, yeah exactly I mean, we ate so much dollar pizza. I remember, we did at my show. Remember dollar pizza? Oh, yeah. Every week I was like, yeah, I'm fucking eating this. Of course. But then you're like, this is bad.

It's bad. You're kind of like, what's the catch? And then 30 minutes later, you're like, oh yeah, I have to live with this inside me. Yeah. That's the catch. It's like a yoga mat material. It's not good. And it wasn't like real cheese.

I don't think. It was fucking. But then you're also like, I spent $8 and I got a pie. I have no right to be upset. That's true. I would eat a lot of the hot. Hot dogs at Rudy's. That was a fucking hack.

Ooh. I did that too, but yeah, they'll get you. Yeah, because you think you're like, when you're drunk, you're like, this is amazing. And then the next morning, you're like, even at like 24, you're like, I feel like fucking hell. When it's fucking up your body and you're that young. True. Because the beer is like two bucks. Yeah.

God, that bar is awesome, though. And it's still there, baby. It's a great. That's like a treasure of that bar, Rudy's Bar and Grill. And that's, you walk in, you see the pig, you walk out with one. that's the that's the motto Bordane that was one of Bordane's Oh really? He popped in there yeah

He knew what New York What cool New York spots were Yeah Corner Bistro he made cool I feel Oh that's right That's a great fucking bar It's another cash only Yes

Cash only can get annoying though I know come on I got to go to the ATM I'm gonna be here a while Aren't these people worried about getting robbed Oh I never thought about that I mean that was a guy I remember we were at the comic strip one night Joe Mackey and I were just like pointing and laughing at this picture

this fat guy we're like who's this fat guy and then they were like he was the money guy at the comic strip and he got shot in the head and robbed and we're like sorry we were laughing ah geez he was a real cash cow okay but you're like that was the thing when you had to just deliver

the cash yeah that was big digital's safer that's true I never thought about that remember guys would walk around with like a dummy or Colin quit had that joke about a 20 mugger money mugger money that was it yeah you had real money and mugger money just so you can only give one away and then uh he he was the joke was

you would give him the mugger money he'd be like i know it's a mugger money wears a real money yeah yeah yeah no no the line he said i don't have any money he's like we have your mugger money that's what it did see q with the best new york jokes he did he had that great joke about how cops and black kids started talking they flipped you know like uh black people like don't do that man that's uh that's a that's a uh a 4.8 or whatever And then the cops like, young brother, get over here, get over here. That's great. Let me check your pockets or whatever.

He's such a good observation. I know, I know. I love his joke about how the L-Train used to be the scariest thing. Now you get on it. It looks like a ski lift. Oh, ski lift is perfect. Damn. Colin Quinn, the King.

Watch New York Story on Netflix if you haven't seen it. That's a fucking masterpiece. Masterpiece. You already told me after his heart attack. I was like, what did you think? And he goes, thank God I shot New York Story already. Whoa. That's what a fucking comment.

Oh, I love that. I'm like, nothing about like a loved one or anything? No, he's a married guy, too. Good for him. That's a great piece of New York art. New York art and history. Like, you actually learn a little bit watching. Oh, yeah.

It's like kind of a lesson on New York. Like, oh, yeah, that's amazing. When he breaks down every ethnicity in a classroom, you know, and he's like, the sassy black chick, she's like, sit down, Shikwika from the teacher, and she's like, I thought Lincoln freed the slaves. And I grew up with that girl, so that hits home. How Italian guys are, they're tough as shit, but they're scared of the weirdest things.

You know, they'll be like, I'll fucking kill you, I'll beat your ass, whatever. And he's like, whoa, what's that, yogurt? Jesus, guys. Get that way. Damn, it's all so real. I know. God, he's good. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, man. Yeah, so yeah, the next game, we did, we got to tell him about the photo. Oh, yeah, we got a photo with Ben Stiller, Jimmy Fallon. Fallon walked up to Norman and was like, Mark kind of whispered to me. He was like, I had a good set in front of Fallon the other night. And then Falun comes over like, dude, great set. Mark kind of gave me like a smile. I was like, all right, I told you.

Yeah. That was cool. And then Stiller was a little standoffish, but he's... No, he's cool. He was cool. He's just so famous. You know what he is? He's such a big Knicks fan.

And he was feeling the pain. I felt the same way. Right. He was upset about the game. Yeah, he wanted to duck out of there. You could see, and we had to call him back for the photo. Yeah, but it was a fun photo. Comedy photos through Shum J in there.

And, no, but I could tell, he was effective and also Brunson got injured I mean that game sucked to be yeah that's a good pick that was tough yeah look at that big Irish head on Fallon huh

I love I'm so happy you wear the Brunson jersey I know I'm glad I got that in yeah dude no that was a that was a tough game it sucks when they fucking not only need to lose it would be injuries man

I know it's a long season it'll be all right at least we got to hang out with Spike Lee though that's the upside I got a fist bump from Josh Hart too that's true pretty epic yeah that was pretty well

I got one from Spreewell, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was right. During the game. I mean, we were, like, having a bite upstairs, and Spree walked in. I'm like, dude, that's LaTrell Spreewell. And he walked by, and he was like, yo, and he gave me a bump. He knew you?

I sat next to him in a game once, and we hit it off. Wow. And I was being really silly and dumb and distracting the other two. I were, like, stand up whenever at the free throw line, I do a thing where I'll just start stomping like this under the rim. And he choked you? No, I told him about that. He didn't know that. I didn't know that.

I didn't know. Choked his coach and Golden Stank. which is the fucking most hilarious and also the Knicks sign him right and it worked it keeps getting crazy like that guy who choked his coach we should have him on our team

and he was great for us he was a great player but he walked by and I was like oh that was one of my favorite players ever and they walked by it was really friendly so pretty cool very cool fucking spree giant man

you're living your fucking childhood I know you're talking Mattingly Spree well Stiller Sam Jee? Think oh well in front of Mattingly think go well in front of Mattingly That was a bad... That's a good point. Whatever, you met him.

That's a good point. You got the photo. I got the photo. I think he's a nice guy, but I was like... They were like... They walked over to him. They're like, oh, he's a huge fan. He was like, oh, cool. He was nice. But I'm sure he was like, that was a disaster. I'm sure he was like, get this fucking bad luck away from me. I'm trying to land another job. I'm like William H. Macy and the cooler. I'm bringing my stink onto him. Damn. No, I felt that was... It sucks when you bomb a gig and they're not. not even mad, they're just, like, disappointed. Yeah. That's what it felt like, because they were like, oh, he's like a nice guy.

He just fucking bombed. But what, I mean, it's on them. Their act works. It's not like you went in there with open micing shit. Yeah, no, I think it was just one of those things where, uh, you know the feeling that where you get off and they're not like, what were you thinking? They're just like, ah, gee, they're just like, more just like annoyed. Yeah.

Piscopo was trying to cheer me up. That was the funniest part. I'm like, life is so weird. Joe Piscopo in a tuxedo is like, kid, let me tell you some stories about the good old day. He's telling me Rodney's stories. He's telling me Seinfeld stories. He's treating like the kid in the burn ward. Come on, it's going to be all right.

I'm not going to make it, Joe. Say it ain't so, Joe. Oh, yeah, I did a corporate for a pharmaceutical company in Philly. They took me out on the limo. They bought me a tuxedo. They had it, like, fitted for me, and this is high-end shit. And you kept it? No, they took it back.

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the show and tell them, we set you baby, fuck your khakis and get your perfect gene. They were like, Get back, and I had to get an Uber home or an Amtrak or a fun war or something. Bob Kosh is from that crowd, too. He's like, I'm having a bad week. This is probably like seven years ago, but it was in this beautiful Philly hotel, and it was an award show for, like, it was called like the Farmy's or something, and it was for all these drugs.

And I had to do opening that I had to bring up every guy and do like, they did it da-da-da, and they go up to the podium and give a little speech. And I had to do all these cue cards and notes and everything. I got fired after the opening. Wow, but they still paid you They paid me Believe it or not My manager had to really

Fight the guy on the phone But the opening was so bad Because the owners Or the head guy's wife Flipped Because they did a vibrator joke And she flipped out She chewed him out in the lobby

And she was like If you don't get rid of him Whatever I'm walking Imagine being that successful and rich And marrying a humorless Fucking person like that That's a great point What a bump

Like you made it financially You probably have an insane house And then you come home to a woman's like What was that? Exactly. Over a joke at a comedy show. Fuck you. I know. Bore. Yes. You're a bore.

So I got offstage. I was like, oh, I bombed. What are you going to do? That sucks. But I knew I had to do the whole presentation all night. And they were like, we're going to need the tuxedo. And you got to get out of here. He's in his underwear. Just hailing a taxi. That's a good bit. Yeah, true story. Brutal. Just stop hiring comedies you don't know about.

If you're going to get Gilbert Godfrey He's going to say fucked up shit You know Don't act surprised They had him killed They killed Godfrey Yeah Damn no I know the feeling

I mean Those private things are the worst Because you're like I mean clearly I'm here for the money You know But also for that one I was kind of like Well this is cool

It's baseball I love sports Sure So this is kind of cool But then when it goes I mean it's so amazing How different the night Could be when it goes well There was like an after party

They're coming I'm like no Oh God You think I want to fuck You think these people want to see me? No, I'm ducking out. Yeah. But they were all very nice. The hardest part is when they're, they don't fire you, and they're nice.

Right. And you just feel like you let them down. Yes. Yes. I'm not mad, but I'm disappointed energy. Sure. And you did the full 30? I think I did like 25. Yeah, that's a while. It was rough. That's a long time to bomb.

Yeah. I saw the light and I was like, thank fucking God. Wow. So he said light me with five left. I got off on a joke that bombed. I was like, what do you want me to do? I tried everything, dude. I tried all my, like... I'm doing, like, jokes at Kill on Conan, Fallon, like, late-night jokes. And they're just not hitting. I'm just like, this is a clean joke.

Wow. Damn, that is tough. But you got paid? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I heard the story of this other guy who didn't, and I was like, they made him give the check back, and it was, like, that bad. Wow.

So, like, at least they could tell I tried. Yeah. Maybe that's worse. Oh, my God. I mean, you know my famous story where the guy flew me to Toronto. crazy money and he i get to the he's like have dinner with us first so i was like all right italian joint beautiful restaurant food was insanely expensive it's a bunch of real estate guys and he's like i'm a big fan i watch you with my son you got to do this bit this bit so i'm like

this guy's quoting my he's this guy i'm gonna kill this is when you know you bomb though like like yeah it's gonna go well now i'm like i know i'm set up for failure i didn't know then but uh so i go out we the room was upstairs it was beautiful ballroom and it was like a ballroom too ballroom's a kiss of death Fisher Price Mike they couldn't get it going that whole thing

with the feedback and he's I was supposed to do an hour and he's in the front row and I'm bombing so bad and he's looking at me I can see the guy the whole time

he's looking to me like what are you doing what are you doing they don't get it they don't get it people don't understand when how often we can bomb

these because just like yeah we need the right situation this isn't magic it's like we got to the room's got to be right the people have got to be like

set up for it. Yeah. Otherwise, it's straight. They're like, why is this person? I could tell they're like,

why is he still here? Yeah, exactly. Which is the worst feeling as an entertainer. Yeah. Overstaying, you're welcome. Like, all you want to do

is leave him wanting more as an entertainment. Yes, yes. So it's the worst when you're like, oh, I'm dragging on, I know it's bad. Yeah. I have the self-awareness

to know this is not working. Did you comment going, I've realized this is weird. I had to. Okay, no, I think you should. There we go. Talk about L gigs. What the fuck is this?

Yeah, I didn't know this was this when I signed up for it. How the fuck, give me a break. Well, it's called like Hot Show or something. So I was like, oh, all right. So if you're just listening, Mark did a show in a sauna, a fully turned up 115 degrees sauna to a crowd of people in bikinis and underwear. This guy looks naked. Yeah, it was a great moment, too, because we're shooting something at the moment. So I had five sets, and you were coming all the sets.

And we go here, and they won't let Salukes in because everyone there was hot. Oh, no. But they won't let him in because they're like, you have to have a bathing suit. Man, note that you forgot your bathing suit, too, to your own show. I lied and said, I got mine, so I went in, and I just covered up with a towel. But they wouldn't let Salakuse in. I was like, ah, fuck. I feel bad.

You're sitting out in the cold, and I turn around in Foxx this guy with no shirt on and Salakius. I was like, what the hell? So you started filming? Yeah. And how did the crowd laugh a lot? They were great. They were great. I got to say, because I think once you're in there,

You're going to laugh. Like, if you took the time to do this, you want to see a show. Let me say, not everything has to be a comedy show. I agree. What are we doing? I hear you. Sometimes a sauna is just a sauna. Of course.

Why? I will say, this is a... If you're a single guy, go to this fucking place. It's just hot girl after hot girl. They're all in bikinis, and it's co-ed or whatever. So they just co-mingle and ice plunge together, sauna together. There's a bar back there. There's a bar in the sauna?

Yeah, what's it called? a other ship. The other ship. That's got to be rough, though. You're dehydrating yourself on so many levels. Oh, yeah. I think this is just a hookup thing. It must be. That's got to be all this is. Mark's going to be next week as a picture of him at like an eyes wide shut party. He's like, I didn't know.

They didn't tell me in the... Pull up the Epstein Island set. I did. Yeah, yeah. Crazy. Crazy gig. But they were good and I opened up. I said, I feel like I'm in hell, you know, except there's no gays or something. But yeah, it was a lot of fun And they laughed

10 minutes set Where is this? It's on 24th and... Sorry, 20th and 5th and 5th Between 5th and 6th And the whole place is like a sauna type health What is it? It's a spa sauna, cold plunge

Those crazy showers, yeah Jesus Christ You got stain on your towel there That's a shadow Oh no, I don't think so Pissing myself I'm nervous I think I sat in something

but yeah damn dude good times I saw you right after this happened yeah we had a stopping chat in the street the irony is I sweat less here than you did at the baseball show

I mean there's no doubt there's no dude I the flop sweat it's funny because it's like a cartoon thing but that shit's real oh it's real like you just start getting drenched you're like I never sweat but I also had a thing in Utah

where I was like you ever have like a near panic attack on stage where you're just like I never have that I'm not like I have anxiety but it hits me Like, I can usually flush it out on stage. It usually hits me, like, trying to sleep. You ever just trying to sleep, and you get pissed, like, 14 times?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Before a flight, like, you just can't sleep. You're wired, your heart's racing. You're thinking of all the bad shit, whatever. Sure. But I'm pretty good at watching that on stage. I like being on stage. But I had, like, I don't know why Veter and I were just pounding coffee all day.

Maybe it's the altitude there. Maybe it's, you know, the mountains. I don't know. Yeah. But we both had, like, near panic attacks on stage. I got off. I'm like, dude. And he was like, me too.

I'm on stage and I can't breathe And my camera guy Brian The Slow Eater was like He goes I could tell something Like it was going well but I could tell something was off Whoa I could just tell you delivery like you're not

You look in your head I was like yeah it was fucking freaking out So you didn't bring it up or anything You did you know I mean I was killing They were great Oh okay So I was like why bring it up if I'm not I made a couple jokes like you know

This Mountaineer is not made for Jews Like I've definitely had some like allergy shit where I'm like, and then you pop some nasacorn. I'm like, oh, I'm good. This is fucking straight up allergies. Yeah. Right. No, that altitude is no joke.

It's crazy. It's crazy. Especially for guys. Oh, the hangovers are bad. You get drunk faster. You get out of breath faster. I was pounding. After the Saturday show, I was pounding vodka.

Let me just fucking just, I was like chugging vodka. I was like, let me just, let me, let me, let me, let me Nicholas Cage leaving Las Vegas. That's shit real quick. Except there was no Elizabeth shoe. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you that I'll tell him was lonely. Can I ask a quick question?

so you guys have sort of mastered public speaking obviously and you said you had a panic attack on stage what are your anxiety not quite but it was like in the vicinity what are your anxiety dreams like when you're sleeping you're like whoa that I'm a failure that I'm like a fucking that I'm just like uh

that I'm like oh shit I'm making a movie I'm like I fuck this up I could have done this I'm not talking about like when you're having anxiety thoughts I'm talking when you're dreaming and it's like the same thing over and over again and you're having a dream like in a oh geez I don't remember I don't really write them down I had a dream last night that I walked in on my wife

and there were two kids instead of one and I was like, what the hell? And then you're like is it mine? Now we have to take care of two kids. That was my panic anxiety dream. That was last night. That's so funny that your nightmare is probably what she wants the future to be. A family. Right, right, right. Nightmare's a family.

But I get it. But it's like a mind fuck. That's what it is. Exactly. Yeah, joint bank account. That's the word. Dude, I mean, that's, I get that though. Yeah, like confusion. Like mind fuck stuff. That's when you're like, it's not even scary. You're just like, it's like that Sopranos episode where he's in a coma and he's just Kevin Finnerty. And you're like, what? But it's like kind of scary because you're like, this is so fucking weird.

Yeah. What was with that episode? I never got it. It was just eerie. Yeah, that's a good analogy. I think it was supposed to be weird. I don't know. I mean.

Like, it was very David Lynchy. Yeah. But it was for no reason at all. I got a hot take on David Lynch. Oh, hit me. Don't love it. I'm with you. I respect it.

Okay. But I don't, like, Mahalan drives a masterpiece, I think. But then, like, Twin Peaks, I feel like every character is like, hey, you buddy, pal. Yeah. Why is everyone like, it's like they're fucking with you? Yes, yeah, I'm with you. I don't get it. I will say, Elephant Man is really good.

Never saw it. But it's his first movie, I think, so he had to bring it. It's kind of a game. It's a new comic. It's like your first album. It's your first album, I was going to say, yeah. You had to go slightly more broad. And then you give him too much leash and they fuck it up.

I accept that he's great. I understand, and it's just not for me. Okay. But, like, yeah, I don't love. Even in some of those movies, it just feels like every character is like fucking with you. Yeah, no, I'm with you. Yeah. Like, Tim Burton is a weirdo, but it works.

Sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah, yeah. You've got cry baby. But, uh, that was someone. Oh, that was Waters. Waters. Yeah, water's another one that I don't really get.

I think it's a little overrated. I don't get it. Yeah. I think Tim Burton keeps it in line. It's still weird, but it's still fun. Yeah, I remember the first time I saw Nightmare before Christmas as a kid. I was like, this is insane. That's genius.

I was blown away. The music is great. The animation's great. That movie's incredible. It's just different. Like having your mind conceive that. It's like when you told me to watch the Scorsese doc, and it's just like how he just visualized every scene in the fucking movie.

Like Goodfellas, Casino. He just saw it before it happened. And you're like, that's incredible. Like that's like being an artist where you're like, oh, this is what we do. This is how it'll look. This is how it'll flow. Totally an artist.

Like when that last scene when he's, they're talking about Flower Moon and he's got the giant board, he's on a stool and he's putting like note cards on a board to do the storyboarding. and it's got to be like 68 note cards and you're like, that was all in his head. It's insane. Yeah, and he's 80, whatever. He gives it everything, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You see it sometimes and you're like, you don't have to suffer for what you do, but maybe a little ain't the worst. Sure, sure. But then you see some of these people we love and we're like, man, they're like suffering. Also, I didn't realize like, yeah,

I mean, you talked about this on one of the episodes, but like the amount of shit he got for Last Temptation, I didn't know, you know. Yeah. That was a baby probably. He said the most shit he got, though, was Wolf of Wall Street because the internet was now around. So you can get more shit.

God, they're the new picket people. It's just people like, I didn't like this. Exactly. And they're the new picket people, but instead of the picket, which is like 50 people outside of it, this is millions and millions of people. Yeah, you used to just be like the local news picking up. Right, right. And now it's like people who are like, outrage, gets retweets.

I don't know. Well, I heard Seth McFarland once say when he started a family guy, he would get bags, like garbage bags of hate mail. Like this is offensive. you should be ashamed to yourself and they would just throw it in this big incinerator but now the internet you can't throw it away which by the way that's got to be so satisfying

I know like the act of just yeah it's not as fun to just not check right feel better to like throw something in the fire yeah exactly but then again the show's hilarious and it's still on the air or whatever so like just got to keep going like Scorsese just kept going yeah and then it's like you do it for you

like if you miss you miss and then you come back with something better you know yeah I also loved how they He's got like eight wives of that documentary. And they don't go to any detail on how the marriage just fall apart. I love it. Oh, now I have a new wife. We're like, wait, what happened to the last one there?

It's a new trend because every documentary five years ago is like, now here's the scandal. And you're like, no, just. Yeah, but he produced this, right? Did he? Did he not? Give it a good. I don't think he did. It seemed, I don't want to use the word fluff, but it seemed a little too much focus on the work to be not produced by him.

Interesting. Or maybe he was like, I don't want to talk. Look, why would you want to talk about that? that shit. Sure, yeah. I mean, I think if you sign up, you go, I'll do it, but leave that out. They did have Isabella Rosalini be like, yeah, he would throw shit. I know, I know. It's funny because it's like scary, but it's also like a guy that tiny doing it is kind of funny. Yeah, with those eyebrows. Okay. Okay. They kept it nice. It was that lady. I forgot her name. Oh, yeah. Emily something. Yeah, yeah. It was great. What is it?

Rebecca Miller, that's a director. Rebecca Miller, that's it. Yeah. She was good. Damn, I had something earlier, but something else. I lost it. Yeah. Shit, what the hell were you talking about? Scorsese, movies. Way before that.

Lynch. Yeah, Lynch is a little much. Although the Louie episode with Lynch is fun. Yeah, I mean, look, he did a lot of cool shit, too. Yeah. But I'm with you. I don't love that eerie vibe. He was also great in the Spielberg movie.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Fablemans. Fabelmans, yes. I thought it was good, by the way. I liked it a lot, yeah. It got bad reviews, but yeah. I liked it. Yeah, I don't like Erie.

Like, even Willy Wonka as a kid. The movie's incredible, super imaginative and all that, but it just, it irked me the whole time. Yeah, because you feel like, I think we just don't like guys who are like, are you fucking with me? Yeah, maybe that's what is. Put that whole energy. You're just like, come with me, and you're like, what's happening? What's going on? Come with me.

Can't you see? my imagination. He is, I love Gene Wilder. He's a brilliant man. And I appreciate it now, but it's a kid. Yeah, I didn't like it either. Okay. My mom was showing me a weird artsy shit when I was a kid.

I was watching like the red balloon. Oh, I saw that. I loved that. Yeah. Of course, I would go off my own and find like Ninja Turtles and stuff like that. But she was always showing me, she's like, oh, you want to watch comedy? You'll watch Laurel and Hardy. Wow.

My mom's the same thing. That's how I found the Marx Brothers. She handed me a stack of tapes. Oh, dude, I loved it, though. I would watch, like, the fucking March of the Wooden Soldiers again and again. Wow. I mean, but, yeah, it's kind of cool. Probably is why we both love movies so much, as we have moms who are like, you'll watch good stuff as a kid.

Right. You can watch your, you know, Ghostbusters and stuff, too, the stuff you like. But you have to watch, like, artsy stuff, too. And then you're like, all right. Then you appreciate it when you're older. That's true. Yeah, good point. Yeah, my mom was such a cheap artsy bitch that she would get library movies.

Oh, sure. So whatever is the free one at the library. was, so I have to watch all that horse shit. So, what, like, what were you watching? It was a lot of, like, duck soup and... Yeah, that's great. It's, like, the best thing to watch. It was great, but you're like,

I just want to watch Ernest Goes to Jail, you know? Like, give me a break every now and then. I don't want to eat... Ernst goes to camp was the one. That was so good. That was the winner. So good. But, yeah, you need to cut it with a little...

Yeah, with a little earnest. Yeah, you do. You need to cut it. Did you watch Yahoo! What's that? Oh, do you remember that one? Yes. That was big.

My dad loved that one. Or a movie. It was a movie. That guy. Young Einstein. Oh, that's a guy. Young Einstein. That was it.

That I watched U.H.F. I watched all that shit. Yeah. Michael Rich was before Kramer, dude. Yeah. I had to watch. My dad was a little more sophisticated. He loved British humor.

So I watched a lot of four weddings in a funeral. Mr. Bean, I watched. You know my issue with four weddings and a funeral is? It just will go like, it's kind of like sad out of nowhere. It kind of like, I don't know. Like, I don't have an issue with sad, but it felt like kind of like so out of nowhere. I guess that's life, but it was good. It was fine.

Andy McDowell was hot. Very hot. Our daughter's very hot. Yeah. Well, we're getting old. Like daughters of people who are hot are hot. Cindy Crawford, Annie McDowell. Yeah.

There's another one. Like, Kathy Ireland? Did she have a daughter? Yes. Well, we've a line in our movie where someone calls us old and you say, I'm 39, the perfect age to fuck your mom or your girlfriend. Oh, your girlfriend. Yeah.

That's true. talking to a frat guy. That's how long we've had this movie, folks. Okay, there it is. Nailed it. Wait, how old is that daughter? Uh-oh. I don't know.

Good, good. We might have to edit. When I say hot, I meant adorable. Yeah, that's a good save. Speaking of Ghostbusters. Wait, well, you just change the subject. Yeah, pretty quick. All right.

Just say it. All right. Is it that bad? I don't know. I bet she's 16. Oh, boy. Well, then we'll cut this. All right.

so appropriate. I don't know. I'm getting there. This is dark. Just right, how old's cat the Ireland's daughter? Chloe. Chloe, Ireland.

Okay. That's the name of Alec Baldwin's daughter's name's Ireland. Imagine they had a kid together. 36! No, that's not the right one. Ah, fuck.

That's Chloe. That's Chloe? Oh, that's Chloe Agnew. Yeah. Why is this so hard? The fact that this is hard to find makes me feel like this is bad. Yeah, yeah, and the fact you had to sign that waiver.

Do we have two people on this right now? We've got all our best met on this. 22 years. Okay. I mean, it's not good, but it's legal. It's legal, God damn. Legal by four years. All right.

David tells us that barely legal. You're not Michael Jackson, but you're living in his neighborhood. Barely legal is insane. The fact that that's a term. That concept is awful. Isn't there a club in New Orleans called Larry Flint's Barrier? That's where the skank after party was every night. Literally, it was barely legal.

Yeah, yeah. That's hilarious. Oh, yeah. Fun? Oh, it was great. Great time. They were a little old though. Oh, Stanhope.

He's the best. Oh, that's a great photo. Who took that? It's Alekus. Ah, never heard of him. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff. We gotta get Stanhope back. Oh, yeah.

Tell the Stanhope story. Which one? Yeah, but don't give him. the guy's name away. Which one? The one with the opener, the host. Oh, gosh. Who tried to bump him.

So, there was a legend show. Legends. Legends. And two legends just backed out immediately. It was like a 2 p.m. show. So Shane backed out and Bonnie McFarland backed out. So it was Pepitone, Stan Hope. Okay, legend, legend.

And who was the third person there? It was like, maybe I can't remember. Anyway, so some opener comes in, and he's like, I was sent down here to fill in for Shane. I'm going to open. And, oh, it was talent, same talent. Okay. So the opener's like, I was told I'm going to open. I'm filling in for Shane.

But edit that later. So Stan hopes like, you know what, since no one's going to do it, I actually have 15 minutes on what it's like to open a show like this. I can do the open, and I've got material just for this situation. And like, hey, I'm just doing what I'm told. Stop saying the name for going to edit. Oh, dude is like, I'm just doing what I'm told, brother. Yeah. He's all cogan.

Yeah, yeah, he's like that. He thinks he's bound and down. That's who he thinks he's. Right, right. Anyway, so Sam Tal's like, look, friend, I'm not saying his name. Look, friend. This is a legend. He says it's opening.

He's opening. You do whatever you want. He could close the show for all I care. He could be the last guy, but Stanhope's opening. Boom. Was he peaved? No, he took it. All right, all right.

He was the lowest man in that room, like lower than me. Wow. That's something. Yeah, yeah. And Sam's like, I want to open. I have a bit about opening. Let me open. The guy's like, no, no, I got it.

Yeah, you can't push back against Stanhope. He's a legend. Yeah. Yeah, come on. Is he Jewish? Bob Dylan is Jewish, and he's also... Yeah, but that's not his real name. Right.

Wait, what is Bob Dylan's real name? Joe Zimmerman. Something Zimmerman, not Joe. Bob Zimmerman? Bob Zimmerman. Joe Zimmerman, funny guy. Yeah, very funny. He was a Hedberg, not Jewish.

Oh, Swedish check. He's a big whitey. Man, Mitch Hedberg. Do you ever see him live? No, no, I wish. I tried to get tickets to him at Carolines and it was like a couple months before he died. I'm sure it wouldn't have been him at his best.

He was probably on drugs then, but. Damn, dude. Headberg was so good. Sometimes people, like, they'll hate on it. But it really is, like, so fucking, it's such good joke writing. It's so good. So imaginative, like, rice is great when you're hungry for $2,000 of something. You're like, how did you think of that?

How'd you know that'd be funny? You know? Yeah, and the delivery, and his Letterman sets are fucking, yeah. Lights out. I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask him with her going and catch up with them later. Yeah. It's fucking great.

My mom loves those applause breaks, you know? Like, I know people who don't like comments. and I've showed him Headberg and they're like, this is good. I mean, do the defrains. That bit alone is it? Oh, where are the defrains? Search party of three. Party of four and he goes, you know that bit?

Yeah, no, tell me. And then they just keep going. No, okay, next group. Yeah, but what about the dufranes? No one seems to give a shit. That's a great fucking bit. I know. It's also such a simple, like, you don't realize,

these are like just observational jokes. It's like such a character you don't realize. yeah how observational these bits are have you seen this is pretty crazy see if we pull this up on youtube it's headberg before he's figured it out yet and jeanine garofalo brings him up it's in like a premium blend no this is in like a bar or something oh really and there's like eight count eight audience members there sitting on the floor and he's doing headberg but it's not fully formed yet he's doing like chris rocks delivery he doesn't even have the glasses yet does the youtube video I don't know, it's going to be hard to find

because it's super obscure. You ever see the thing where Chris Rock and Stephen Wright came out and they do each other's bits? That was amazing. That was awesome. We should do more of that. That should be done more. That was so funny.

Now, this is the green room. I'm talking about it. It's a set. It's a stand-up set. But yeah. Tell it like a ponytail here. What's going on? He had like the stovie haircut here.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, good luck finding it. It's literally in like a basement or something. And Janine Garoflo brings him up, but it's so cool to see a guy who's not there yet all the way. You get to see like... Who's your hope? Early days, yeah.

Like those old Louis sets where he's in Boston. He's got an orange flat top. Crazy. He goes... He walks up and he goes, ha, ha, ha. And he goes, these are dolphin jokes. Come on, folks, where are you? And you're like, wow.

Louis thought that was good at one point, you know? Like this brilliant comedian, but you got to start somewhere. And he was kind of alty back in the day. Very alty. He was a weirdo for sure. All the best comics were kind of able to go both rooms, you know. That's true. Yeah, good luck.

Good luck finding this. Oh. Oh, shit. You got any wrecks in the meantime? Oh, yeah. Well, go see the Murphy Dock. It's on Netflix. I'm going to watch that.

It's great. Oh, this is it. This is it? Yeah, no, I thought this was a premium blend. Nashville Tennessee last week. I just got back. Oh, maybe you're right. This is Comedy Central.

time at the club down there and it wasn't by popular demand it was because of rotation so brought me back did radio interviews I walked into the studio to do an interview the DJ's first question was who are you I had to think this got really deep or did I drive to the wrong station I would have flipped that. I would have put deep second. So, how would you do it? Yeah, same here. I had to think about that. Is this guy not Noah Aram or is he really deep?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, he's green. Yeah, and the delivery is like definitely, it's like when you hear early Dangerfield and he didn't have the rhythm yet. Right. It's like you got to find your rhythm. But good for them for giving this guy a chance, because he's still pretty weird. But it's like Sam said, you have to bomb before you figure it out. Of course. So he's sort of, he's not bombing.

He can adapt and you mold it to what's... What's working. What's they're receiving, right? It's like, that's why you can't just take someone else's that. It's kind of dark to do that. I know. It's dark.

He's not absorbing it this fucking kid. But I don't want to give this guy anymore. They've got to find footage of him before. They're like, there's no way you've talked with this your whole life. Yeah, true. I guarantee it. He has a pod now he does when he just talks like that. For an hour.

It's crazy. It's fucking weird, man. I know. It's like, we talk about like the Slater, Christian Slater, Jack Nichols and shit. I'm like, this is a hundred times worse. Oh, so much worse. Yeah. And I think there's a thing going on where Gen Z is so young and everything that they don't know who these old guys are.

And a lot of these younger people don't go backwards. Well, there's some legends, not to name names, there's some legends who have taken someone else's cadence and never really shaken it. Sure, sure. So it's like, all right. Yeah. Hedberg died in 2005. There you go. 20-year-olds were born.

Right, right. I never didn't, yeah. Exactly. Never knew Headberg or 9-11. Fucking crazy. Yeah, well, this might be controversial. But... But you like 9-11?

Yes. But yeah, Dave Chappelle thanked Tony Woods and said, I'm doing you. Wow. Yeah, he said it publicly. And he's like, let me get you a Netflix special. And did he? And Wood said no.

He's like, ah, I'm good. I'm not ready or whatever. He's not ready? That's what he said. Tony Woods is not ready. Yeah, he's like, ah, he doesn't like tapings. He's a live guy. He's a killer.

But yeah, Chappelle was like, you're the guy. That's pretty cool. Huge influence, yeah. Coming up in D.C., yeah. Tony was definitely one of the guys. Oh, yeah. Still is. Still is.

Still is, yeah. I saw I'm the VU murdering like Yeah he's funny He's got his little Cavassia Yeah yeah Classic old school comic Mm-hmm

Yeah dude What do you got Uh-oh Oh shit Is that Sagalow? The Rizzler's got some competition Dude Whoa

Who is he Asian Something about a little pudgy kid dancing That's pretty damn cool Oh yeah Dude this is This is me after hours with Ruby the other night. Ah. So is this the Lizler?

I like this kid. This kid's good. He's smooth. The fun thing about a chubby kid is when they do show like this, it is extra cute. Yeah, he's adorable. Peter said, I bet we could get him. We just lied. The Rizzler came.

He's sleepy. Oh, man. Oh, man. He's feeling it. We got blown off by the Rizzler many times, huh? Thrice. But once he said in that video, I felt bad. He looked exhausted.

I know. I think they hit him with a cattle prod. Yeah, this kid at least has energy. The Rizzler's sleeping. His dad's like, come on, come on. He's like, oh, fuck. All right, Sam, Mark. Sorry, I couldn't make it.

It's a pixie. It's a pixie stick. This is amazing. It's like mesmerizing. I can't stop staring. It's like lulling me to sleep He's going too Oh yeah

Oh he's back Oh shit If you told me that was Kim Jong-Ooon I'd believe you Same body, same hair Oh yeah He doesn't have a lot of moves But what he has is just

It's working, dude It's working Oh that's it for him Do you have the Martin Luther King thing? Oh no Oh what's that? I said it to you didn't I? Said it mirror him

sent to one of you can we make that kid like our um our loading you know when the video's loading it's just that kid yeah definitely yeah some of these some of this AI shit I sent it to one of you because I was like that's fuck it's crazy no no I sent it pull it up because it's an exact clip it's really good we didn't do this yet did we no MLK AI huh it's fucking crazy all right all right I text it to you Peters I think or was Salacuse Boom I got a good wreck in the meantime

Okay Two wrecks Both Elmore Leonard books The fucking king 52 pickups incredible If you haven't heard of that It's fucking incredible They made a movie about it

With Roy Scheider in the 80s I guess Oh wow I think the movie was well received That and glitz are both awesome Glitz Yeah they're both sick ass Just fun Like if you like scummy

Noir type I know I say that word a lot If you like scummy kind of crime books so it's fun. It's like if you're on vacation, bring one. I guess. Not that long either.

They're short, right? Glit's a little longer. 50 pickup is like that and it's fucking lights out. Wow. Loved it. Now, where are you doing the reading? On the plane or the toilet? A lot of plane.

Okay. Oh, here we go. I ain't got no dreams no more. I am the dream. Oh, shit. Let it go again. You want to know the truth? I ain't got no dreams no more.

I am. I don't you just say that? Did he just say that? I love, like, who the fuck's idea is, is Heel Martin Luther King? I know. It's amazing. That's brilliant. And they even made the sound bad to make it seem more real.

Martin Luther King of the Ring. Yeah. So stupid. They have a lot of, like, wrestling heel ones now. Oh, nice. They got like JFK. They got a bunch of people. See, AI is going to take us over and kill us, but it's funny.

That's what I get us. other thing that's gonna, like, that's, uh, what existential threat has been hilarious. That's the problem is. We're letting our guard down. Because I'm like, look how funny that is. It's killing you, you idiots. It's also pretty hot too sometimes. I'm like, we're getting fucked in the ass by this thing that's going to kill us. Oh my gosh. Sometimes like a girl will pop up on Instagram and she's like insanely hot. I click on. I'm like, oh, that's not a real person. That's bad. That's bad. I mean, I knew a guy. I don't want to say his name. We knew a guy who got straight out catfish by a woman.

Ooh. And I was like, that, you know how much easier that's going to get? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Especially with like AI, just the way they know how to respond. I'm like, oh, that's scary, dude. Did you hear about the ice videos? There's all these ice videos of like a kid getting ripped out of a classroom and his mom crying. I'm like, this is horrible. Oh, my God. And it's all AI. It totally tricked me. It was Martin Luther King taking the kids out. Yeah, yeah. He was like, come with me. This kid is my dream. It was luchador MLK. He had a mask on. Yeah, AI is fucking amazing. It's getting. good, better and better, and we're screwed. Yeah, we're in trouble, man. This ain't great.

I think they've got a water market. That's going to become a law. They've got to put a thing on there, or else we're just going to keep getting tricked. Speaking of Luchador. Is that Louis? Yeah. My God, it's like a dinosaur foot. It's like fucking Gary Oldman at the end of slow horses. Yuck.

What is happening there? He's getting a little foot rubby. Oh, there he is. All right. Yeah, I'm telling you, this is really where he shines. This is his This is his weekend. He had a blast. Oh, yeah. He walks around with a fucking cowboy hat.

One year he was on a horse, and he's like greeting everybody. He gets carried on a throne. I mean, it's crazy. I love it. That's awesome. It was a fun. Crowdsurf, for the first time. I've never done it before.

It is thrilling. Did you dive? I dove backwards. I just went in backwards. That's the key. And I was getting a little wonky. Then I hand reached out, and it got my foot in my hand. It was list.

He pulled me back on. stage it was it was exciting that's crazy it was crazy what were the show highlights well the goddamn comedy jam

the last one there it is oh there's me out there see this Friday in San Diego is that the makeup for the Shane date

or is that that was San Jose that was San Jose I love I do well in San Diego I don't know what is about that town I love it

great town and it's the beach and the coast and all that La Jolla is incredible I love the burritos I love the burritos Not bad.

Yeah, just so fun. The last comedy jam, all the comics got on stage and just got to rock out at the end and sing, and the crowd was going nuts, and we all dove in the crowd. Are You Garbage out there?

It was like lights out. Everybody's so fun. We did a Tuesdays. I sold a ton of bodega cat. Whoa. A ton of bodega cat merch. We made thousands of merch because I was out there.

You're drunk in the day, so you're just like, oh, sign anything. I'm throwing shirts, T-shirt Canon, the whole thing. It was, New Orleans, which was great. You get to go to the quarter at night.

You have great meals for lunch, and then you go to the fest. You hit Koshan Butcher? I didn't, but I walked by it drunk, and I was like, hey, still open. One of the best. So good. Get a good muffalada. Yes, and it was right by there, too, the whole fest. Damn, dude.

The city was perfect. I think they're doing it there next year. It was the best one by far. New Orleans is kind of cool because it's not, there's no real scene there for comedy. No. You're kind of bringing it. Yeah. And I always say New Orleans.

is crazy. Skankfuss is crazy. So it was like a speedball. It was like if you do Coke and heroin, you know, it was just extra fun. There's amazing. There's boxing ring going on with just fat chicks. Lewis fought. Everybody fought. Who do you fight?

I don't know. Some guy I never heard of and then like Jason Ellis is fighting. There's women doing slap contest. I mean, it's crazy. Damn. She got naked at the last show. There's Shane doing Rob Zombie. I mean, it was banana. two people flew there in private jets which is also hilarious

Shane and Tim yeah hilarious now there's list list is he can move um dude look at all this shit just seeing a tell and Stanhope interact you know it's fun Brad Williams was how did he not sing all the small things that was my joke and uh yeah

good times oh look at that sag daddy does Lewis on the on the ones and twos there you go Hey, we had Rachel there We had Fahim there We had Rosebud there I mean it was a good group

That's a good group That is fun man All right Well there you go Wow It was right on the water Damn dude Bobby Lee bailed

That was a Muslim there I mean you had everybody You got to go back to New Orleans This Holtzman Duncan Drusel Good times Love it Well, should we plug some gigs?

Yeah, let's do it. What do we got? When does this come out? Pepitone. Oh, that's a nice highlight. You and Charlie Kirk. What? It's a good duo.

Yeah, I mean, added Omaha, added, um, added Omaha January 8 through 10th, added Chicago again in February just as a workout. I might use Zanis or something small just to work out for the hour.

Tampa Theater. February 27th, new special. Hope you come out two shows, so hope I see you there. That's going to be a fun one. Tampa, baby. It's going to be fun. Adding some more dates coming. We'll see what I can figure out last minute, trying to add.

I have nothing on the calendar, really, so it's coming. It's all coming. Hell yeah. Punchup. Live slash Samarrell slash tickets. Yes. I'm on Punchup as well. I'm in Kansas City at the, what is that?

Funny Bone. Then I'm in Des Moines in Iowa, Brea, California. That's a great time. Come on out to that, Orange County. Oregon at the Grand Ronde. Then New Brunswick, New Jersey, New Brunswick, San Antonio, Tulsa, Oklahoma. I don't think I've ever been there. Tulsa's great.

You've got to go to Andalini's pizza, dude. There you go. DeMarco slice, fucking phenomenal New Jersey guy making pizza in Tulsa. Much love to Tulsa. Amazing. All right. I'll be in Arizona at the Desert Diamond, then Indianapolis at the helium, Buffalo, New York, Portland, Maine,

hold out, I think. Providence Road on at the vets. Kentucky, Lexington, Dania Beach, Florida, Spokane, Washington. You're plumbing it up. If we make this movie, you're going to have to cancel some dates. I'm ready. I'm ready to cancel. That was in the contract. Milwaukee Improv and then we're going to Irvine. So yeah, come on out. Say hello, quefe it up. Get some bodega cat. You got the club's cooking. I got to get back out there. All right. I'm on it. I get so much work down to the club. Me too, man. But then you got to do it to Titan, too. It's tough. That's true. Knowing when to balance.

But yeah, I'm fired up, dude. Well, we love you guys. Buy some bodega cat. Bodecaat whiskey.com. Shout out Lartuzi. Shout out Strip House. Shade. All these great New York bars.

All these bars around the country that are carrying it. Yeah. Yeah. Martin's Wine Cellar. We're in a couple of Nola, too. And DM Bodega Cat Whiskey on Instagram. You know, if you want us in your bar, Matt Herman will handle it for us, our buddy Matt. and we got a lot of cool shit on the horizon here

so get bodega cat cooking we got some cool new merch coming out yeah oh yeah yeah they're on it we got a good team working on this shit and I think it's gonna really make a splash because we're fucking dumb we're idiots we're fucking dumb people I know we're not good at this

no luckily we got people who are yeah we'll hawk it but we don't we'll hawk Tua yeah that's it Sowell Trump Hock baga okay We're done.

We're done. Love you guys. Thank you. Sunday's a day for my next fender. A bit of fever wreck. You know the future's close. I've had a little too much birthing and Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope.

And I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like the cops coming. And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here at me. This woman does it look like I remember And I get down in the same way We might be drunk