We Might Be Drunk - Ep 264: The Rizzler, Dave Attell, Greg Fitzsimmons, Shawn Murphy - Happy New Year - We MIght Be Drunk

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

No guest this week… just kidding. It’s the New Year’s chaos episode. Mark and Sam are joined by Greg Fitzsimmons, Dave Attell, Shawn Murphy, and a surprise appearance from the Rizzler. They cover comedy road stories, sobriety scares, porn rabbit holes, crowd work fatigue, New Year’s peeves, airline annoyances, mocktails, stand-up burnout, and why kids don’t drink anymore. Plus, an all-time wild prank story, tour talk, and a very unhinged holiday hang. Sponsored by: HIMS Get simple, discreet access to personalized care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more. https://www.hims.com/drunk Soul 30% off wellness gummies and alcohol-free drinks that help you relax and unwind. Use code WMBD https://getsoul.com Shopify Start selling today with Shopify. $1 per month trial. https://www.shopify.com/drunk Raycon 20% off Raycon Essential Open Earbuds. https://buyraycon.com/mightbedrunkopen The Perfect Jean15% off your first order with code DRUNK15. https://theperfectjean.nyc Mint Mobile Unlimited plans starting at $15/month. https://www.mintmobile.com/wmbd Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #GregFitzsimmons #DaveAttell #Rizzler #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #NewYearsEpisode #BodegaCatWhiskey00:00 Opening Banter & Guest Introduction 02:30 Funny Takes on Body Types & Seinfeld 05:50 Comedy Styles & Moving on Stage 10:00 Night Owl Comedians & Attel Stories 15:00 Comedy Road Stories & Alaska Prank 22:00 Skankfest & Comedy Scene Rumors 26:00 Unexpected Drop-In: The Rizzler Joins 29:00 Interviewing The Rizzler: Viral Kid Life 34:00 Marvel Legends, Candy & Lap Photo Hijinks 38:00 Rizzler Departs & Backstage Reactions 43:00 Oscars Moving to YouTube & Ellen Gossip 48:00 Comedy Specials & Platforms Discussed 53:00 Opening Acts & Crowd Work Ethics 58:00 Comedian Peeves & Road Life Gripes 01:04:00 Tour Dates & Club Stories 01:10:00 Mocktails, Merch & Closing Peeves 01:16:00 Favorite Comedy Cities & Prolific Comics 01:21:00 Final Plugs, Announcements & Credits Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're here Happy New Year We got Greg Fitzsimmons here The King Fitzstone I don't remember what you were just saying Is this gay to sit like this? Yes, it is gay. What are you doing?

What are you, Gavin Newsom? I think if you have thick legs, it's not too bad but when you have skinny legs and one like really wraps around the other one? What is with the Irish? They can't develop leg muscle. Or asses. That's true. Yeah, you guys have no asses.

What is that? Yeah. It's like Asian women. Yeah. It's like you look at an Asian women and the perfect lips and the smooth skin. I fuck both and it's disappointing every wish way. Really? Oh, yeah.

Irish man, terrible. Irish man and Asian women, same dick. No, but you're hung. I'm hung. We've established that. And on the last episode, Mark made Scott Ruggowski talk about his dick. Yeah. We were like, what is, what are we doing here?

Yeah, well, I thought he had a micro, but he didn't. So I learned. Maybe instead of headshots, you should have dick tacks. Milton Burrell is the whole wall. Uncle Miltie. Yeah. How are you hung? I'm in the middle.

I'm like a stocked camry. Right, right. You know, nothing flashy, but not too disappointing. Good shape. Yeah, solid shape. Curves to the left. As you get older, you have like good and bad dick days. Yeah.

When you're young, it's always kind of more. And then you get older, you're like, today's a good day. I hope someone sees it. Ah, yes. If they don't ask, I'll show it to. someone right go outside of the school yard I'll show him who's boss but no it's good good and bad days it's interesting yeah it's like a good hair day you know yeah good point yeah the worst is that whenever you do see people naked you're skinny dipping which is the least idea yeah good

situation like when we were teenagers there was a town pool I grew up in tarry town and we had a town pool and we used to drink all night you know we were like 15 years old yeah and then we would break into the pool. We jumped the fence. Man. And then everybody would get, it was crazy. Like all the kids in town.

You had an idyllic childhood. You ice skated. We ice skated. You drank. You did a mescaline. You swam in the water. And women, you're not being compromised in that situation. But guys, it really, I mean, you think of the iconic Seinfeld episode.

Right. I was in the, oh, yeah. I showed it to a date recently. She was from England. She's like, I didn't know what Seinfeld is. I was like, oh, you never seen this. So I threw in the Little Dick episode. Yes.

And she was like, this is. is great. You threw in the little dick that night? I threw that after the Little Dick episode. I was like, now that I have a disclaimer here. No. But that's a great fucking episode.

Yeah, it is. I was in the pool. Yeah. Yeah. And then him trying to see her naked. Yeah. The justice of it. She's got a great body, buddy. There was also like a shift that happened with Seinfeld where they went from being these broke New York

like getting around on the subway to suddenly they're in the Hamptons you remember that if they got a lot of shit because they started they started to not be about you know they started to be about like making money and everyone's like oh they're rich now now they're doing episodes from the Hampton

well that was the whole the Cadillac episode Elaine's like I didn't know you make money like that oh yeah I also started dating tens for some reason they're dating fives early on and then later on they're all dating like the hottest women in New York right yeah yeah Yeah, and in your life.

Every actress on Seinfeld was a smoke show. George was pulling great ass. Yeah. George's doing well. Wasn't Courtney Cox a girlfriend of somebody on that? Or was that friends? Yeah. Was it?

She was on Seinfeld? I mean, those are young, young supple camps. There's no surprises when you lower that dress. No. God, no. No dick there. Wow. We had them on last week.

Yeah, I know. He was sitting right here. this seat. Yeah, baby. Telling you how to do comedy. You got that right. You got to move more. Yeah, you got to move around the stage more.

You don't move. I don't move. Okay. No, moving is a, that's flailing to me. That's desperate. You plant your feet and you tell your jokes. It depends on the act. Like, you know, it's weird to watch, like, Rock not move.

Right. Certain guys, you should. Like, I get, like, Jerry moves. You move. It's like, to each their own. Bargazzi's not moving, isn't it? No. David Tel moves only to slam the mic down and go, is this working?

Hello. Midgets. Now, Dave's funny because, like, you can always find out what the next thing in technology is by what he's ragging on. Yeah. Like, now it's like TikTok. Right.

But before that, it was... Rifto. Podcast. Yes, yes. Pagers. I'd love to see caveman, Dave, Mattel. Fire. We get it.

Upright walking. I'm excited to see him. Yeah, I know. He's tough to wrangle, man. That took, like, 14 confirmation text. Oh, really? He's like, confirm me tomorrow morning. I'm like, okay.

Then I'm like, Dave, doesn't answer. I'm literally getting text from Brennan at the strip house. The waiter going, it tells here. And I'm like, fuck. I'm like, come on, Dave, answer. Whoa. I'm like, it tells out. He's at strip house?

It tells like a cat. You're like, how did he get out? You need a net with a stick on it and get him? Like a snare? No, it took a lot of confirmations. But I think we wrangled. Hell yeah. We haven't been on in years. My question is, like, when does he sleep?

I think, like, 7 a.m. to 4. I don't think he sleeps that late. No, I think it's, like, 7 a.m. to, like, 11, maybe. But, dude, the amount of times, I'm sure you've done this with him, too, leaving a diner with him, and he orders a large ice coffee. And I'm like, God, damn it, dude, it's 4 a.m. Why are you drinking a large black ice coffee? I know.

Yeah. And the bodega guy, just knowing Dave, as he gets his American. spirits. Yeah. But it's also, I like living in L.A. because a lot of times he'll call me after his shows. And if you're on the East Coast, it's like, all right, you know, it's 2 a.m. I'm not that guy anymore. But if I'm in L.A., it's 11 o'clock. I'm driving home from the store, and then I can talk. Oh, right, right. And he's at a new porn opening. He's always at a porn store. Not anymore. Those are the old days. I guess there's the internet now. I can remember walking into porn stores in Times Square

and they'd be like, Dave! He's like Norm and Cheers. And they'd have a bag with like stuff he'd ordered that hadn't come in yet. Wow. I don't know what his genre is. Yeah. I think he's all over the road.

We'll ask him. He had a fucking, he had a porn show. Mine is probably Milf. Milt. Yeah, milf's up there. Yeah, wow, what do you think I was going to say? I just don't know what. That feels like what...

Too broad? It feels like if all of them were closed, that's what you would go to. Really? What? What's you go to? Yeah, Milf's up there. Big hands.

Latina, I like, I like a Latina. I like Czechoslovakian hidden camera massage porn. Damn. Yeah, with a little parentheses, naturals. I like it. Pull it up. I don't know this Czechoslovakian... There's a ton of them.

They start with a massage? They start with the massage, and the women are like 10s because they're these Eastern Europe and women. That's the one Hitler went to first, right? He used to do hidden camera massages. Maddie, this is Maddie Bartending, by the way. Amazing. Oh, is that a kiss shirt? I love it. By the way, RIP Ace Freely, right?

He died? He died. Damn, in the New York groove. Can we do a cocktail? Mark, what are you thinking? What are we feeling? Good question. And we can make you a mocktail. No, it's got to be. I make a mean mocktail. Okay.

Put it in check hidden camera massage. Ah, this is distracting. Did you know that Porn Hub is now, there was an article saying it can monitor your stuff and they can blackmail you. Come on. Who does? I've seen enough black males. I like London whore. But if you got blackmailed with a black male.

Is that how that expression is? A bit on the nose. Yeah. I mean, shit. Greg, I got a warning here. It says your search could be illegal and abusive sexual material, including non-consensual intimate, imagery. They consented to the massage. They just didn't consent

to the... Kid in camera? Well, to the blowjob they end up giving the guy. I mean... There it is. No, that's not it. All right, what are we doing there? This is creepy. This is filth. We just started. Is there a drink you have in mind? What are you

thinking? I wanted to make you guys an old fashion. Oh, please. I love it. It's a classic can you make Greg a mocktail. Greg doesn't drink anymore. Yeah, I could tell you to make a mocktail. Yeah. Ginger okay? Ginger sounds nice.

Have you guys heard of lemon whore? That's my favorite porn. Lemon whore. What's lemon whore? Pull it up. Is this like lemon party? No, there's like a story. You know, I like a story.

I see. Girl porn. And it's this couple hanging out on a couch. And then all of us, they're like looking at their tree, lemon trees. And they're like, wow, look at our beautiful lemon trees. I love our lemon trees. I want you to fuck me underneath our lemon trees. and then a woman scales the fence and starts stealing lemons.

And the woman's like, that lemon whore, you need to have sex with her to punish her for stealing our lemons. Anyone else hard? I don't know. Scaling a fence, it sounds like Mexican porn right there. Is this a real thing? She's selling the lemons at a median in L.A. afterwards. A highway. Lemon stealing whore.

Lemon stealing whore. Whoa, okay. I'll watch that later. Lemon or? It's pretty niche. Okay. This is all new to me. I'm learning a lot. I almost lost my sobriety last week. I went, this is a true.

It sounds like a made-up story, but this actually happened. I go to this Italian restaurant and I order, I say, can I get an Americana with room? And so the guy, is that a weird order, by the way? It's a coffee, but it's also a cocktail. Americana with room. Yeah. Nobody gets milk in an Americano. That's what I've been told later that you're not supposed to.

Yeah. Right. It's got a lot of water in it. Yeah, so I order that, and then the guy, he's Italian. But he gave you some Bermuth and Campari. No, no, no, no. He comes back and he goes, we don't have a rum. I said, no, room.

So you got rum in it? Yeah, yeah. And you took a swig? I took a little swig. Oh, shit, you broke it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. When I'm 65, I'm going to do it. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. that gig you did with a guy in the truck with the drugs guy in the truck with the drugs oh you know you guys like we got a hang out I got ATVs oh oh yeah yeah it's the best road story ever okay so I was in Alaska Alaska oh my God last month I was in Alaska Fairbanks I don't even know it fairbanks I think it's the capital isn't it no Juno June oh would you call him the June new Okay.

That you do. So I fly up there and I go to the guy, you know, I want to do something fun during the day. And he calls me back and he goes, I got this guy. He's got an outdoor company, you know, an adventure company. They've got ATVs and snowmobiles. He's a fan of yours. He wants to take you out for an adventure. This is what I like about you.

Most people go, what are you, most comics go, this is insane. I'm not doing it. But you're up for it. But I was definitely inside because, you know, I grew up in New York. in LA 25 years. I don't know nothing about the outdoors. Sure. And so... Yeah, we're worthless outdoors people. Yeah, we're just... You're okay, but you're not... I'm okay, I don't love it.

I'd rather hang out of a bar. No, we're like city people. We're not... Well, the indoors feels like a victory. Like, we won. Yes, yes. We're inside. Temperature's always the same. I like outdoors, but for me, it's like taking walks, like, grabbing a coffee and just walking around. That's my outdoors. Controlled. Yeah. So the guy shows up and he's got a big truck with a trailer on the back with a muddy dune buggy.

And I suddenly think like, all right, I fucked up. I'm going to be in pain. I'm going to be cold, probably wet. So I get in and I start talking to the guy, and he's like the nicest guy. He's about to retire. He's totally mellow. And he's like, I can take you on an adventure. So we drive about 10 minutes and we get pulled over by the cops.

And the guy goes, this is bad. And I'm like, what do you mean? I go, you didn't do anything. It's fine. And he goes, no, this is bad. I'm like, who are you? And so the cop. Naked teenagers in the fucking trailer.

You wish. You wish. So the cop walks up and the guy hands me a baggie with white powder in it. And he goes, hide this. No. And he spills some of it on my pants. So I stick it under the seat. The cop walks up.

He goes, license and registration. So the guy says to me, open the glove box and get the, so I open up the glove box. And a baggie of pills. And $100 bills pops out. Oh, my God. So I shove it back in with the back of my hand. I put some paper over it. And the cop goes, what are you hiding?

Oh. And I go, I go nothing. He goes, you're hiding something. And I don't even know why I did it. It was just like this reflex reaction from being a teenager. Yeah, that's a good guy. So I hand the cop to drugs. And then he goes, oh, speaking of drugs.

Hey, Dave, you're right in the middle of this punchline here. Come, sit there. Sit there, man. So the guy goes So I hand the cop to drugs And then he goes Both of you put your hands on the dashboard So now I got my hands on the dashboard

And he walks back to his car to run the guy's license He comes back and he goes You realize you have two outstanding felony warrants Oh shit And the guy goes yeah I'm like yeah Wow And so he goes are there any guns in the car

And I'm thinking of course He's got to be And so he goes no I don't have any guns and so he takes the guy out and he handcuffs him. I got a show in four hours and he walks him back and I'm just sitting there

and I take my hands off the dashboard Are there any guns in the car? No. Blows the cops' head off. And then kills himself. Now I'm just sitting in a truck. And so he comes back and he goes where did you get the drugs?

I said the glove compartment. He goes, no, he said they're yours. Oh, shit. So I go, no, they're not mine. I go, dude, I'm a kid. comedian. I said, I've known this guy like 20 minutes. I just got picked out. I got a show tonight. He goes, well, I don't believe

you because you said you're from California, which is a drug feeder state. Wow. Thank you, very much. You said you're a comedian and you're not funny. Oh, shit. And I'm like, when was I supposed to be funny? So, now I'm listening. So the cop takes me out of the car. He walks

me back to the other car, and he opens up the back door. The guy gets out, and they both look at me and they start laughing, and they go, we're coming to your comedy show tonight. His best friend was a cop in town. They set the whole thing up. That is fucking insane.

I felt I was on all four his tears rolling down my face. It was like relief and laughter at the same time. Wow. What the fuck. What a prank. What a prank. That is insane. Yeah. Wow. Then they took me to this ice bar. It was made out

of ice and they drank seven apatinis each. No Mexicans there. Yeah, so... Damn, ice bar. Damn. Ice bar. Wow.

Which, uh, which, uh, just for the last was this? Oh. Thanks for getting up, Dave. Thanks for having me. Pump you're here, dude. Happy holidays. They moved the smallest Christmas tree. Somewhere in a, uh, children's hospital there's a little empty space.

That's the Brad Williams right there. Yeah. well it's good to see my buddy Greg I think the last time we were all together was Skank Fest Oh what a treat What a treat Sorry I was in the

I was fucking hammered when we were talking Great Yeah Joe Lisp pulled me aside He's like I'm trying to get a real interview He won't stop singing And I was like I'm gonna black out

You're definitely gonna make Joe's What was that a documentary Or a love letter He's calling it a love letter To talking I think Just talking The best was they had a They had the beauty

the beauty pageant, the Skankfest Beauty Fest, Miss Skangfest, which was great because they gave the winner. I was so close. For the winter, they paid for her rehab and they found her parents for her. They could pay for that

abortion. So, oh, I knew it. This is how they got that kid at Conan's. You guys are wearing a black tie, right? Is that what this is right now? Yeah, it's New Year's. Oh, okay.

Oh, there you go. Oh, you're talking about Rob Reiner's kid? Yeah. I thought that was, I thought they were punking him. Like, show up in a track suit, look crazy, and ask him if they're famous. Yeah, he fought with Bill Hader at Conan O'Brien's party. You know Bill Hader's like, why am I in these fucking pictures? I know.

It's a tragedy. It is. Rob Ryan was a fucking legend, dude. Sad. They got the wife, too, which that sucks. Yeah. Sorry, I brought it down. Got any more stories?

Do you hear about Bondi? All right. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Well, guys, what are you here it's been? Let's take a look back. Yeah, we had a Blue Origin. That was big with the ladies in space.

These were all like your bits. Yeah, we had Elon Heiling. I think Blue Origin was like two years ago. Oh, sorry. I think that's an old reference. All right. Oh, I got to stop doing a bit about it then. What else happened?

Yeah, what's the big story? Yeah, the Sig, Hyal was January. Yeah. Okay, okay. I remember because I was like, let's give him. a shot and then I was like, that was a fucking Nazi salute right there. Yeah, that was bad. We got an American Pope this year. Yeah.

Oh, who? Villanova, baby. That was exciting. That was exciting because, you know, I don't want an American Pope. I think I'd rather have an Italian one because like, because like they actually believe in God. Like, Americans are like, you believe in God? They're like, yeah. The Italians are like, they drink the sacrificial wine. Like, they literally

believe it's Jesus's blood. Right. Yeah. They're like, oh. What's that movie with all of their decided on the new pope we call it again was it conclave oh my god that was awesome yeah that was fun until the end i was like i don't know was any trans yeah oh giving it away sorry i don't want to get dave a boner oh my god too late sorry fortunately derosa's coming yeah what what is this picture here that we're looking at by the way derosa stayed in the hotel room next to me during

skank fest yeah boy was that loud really it was just him crying What happened to me? He's adopted, so he's upset. But yeah, a lot of knocking boots on that guy. Really? Very impressive. Wow. I saw a few of the ladies, though.

Yeah. Yeah, they look like Zaccamico. And they're hung like him. I don't know at the show we had special guest. Long time in the making. Oh, no. Charlie Sheen? Come on in, sir.

No way. This is big. You son of a bee. Him! Sexual health. baby. A lot more guys deal with ED than people realize, and it's way more common than anyone talks about the stress and pressure around it can make things worse, especially when you don't know where to start or don't want an awkward doctor visit. That's where Hymns comes in.

Hymns makes getting access to ED treatment simple, discreet, and fully online. You can access personalized description, oh sorry, prescription treatment options for ED like hardmints and sex RX plus climax control, if prescribed, all without sitting in a waiting route. Hymns offers treatment options ranging from trusted generics that cost up to 95% less than brand name alternatives to newer formats designed to fit your lifestyle. Real medical providers review your information and make your treatment plan as tailored for you.

This is a one-size-fits-all-care, it's health care, that actually puts your goals first. I love hymns, hair plugs, dick plugs, butt plugs. They got it all. Get simple online access to personalize affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more. Visit hymns.com slash drunk. That's hymns.com slash drunk for your free online visit. Hems.com slash drunk.

Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Feature products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Thank you. Hey, during the holidays, it feels like there's a party every weekend. Drinks add up, sleep gets weird, workouts disappear,

and suddenly you feel way more run down than relaxed. That's why Soul has become a go-to. Soul is a wellness brand that believes feeling good should actually be fun and easy. Their products are designed to help you unwind, boost your mood and relax, without downsides that come with alcohol. Their best-selling out-of-office gummies gives you a mile relaxing buzz that helps you slow down and enjoy the moment. They come in five different strengths. So whether you want a light microdose or something more elevated, you can dial it in to match your vibe.

They even have an out-of-office beverage if you want an alcohol-free option that still feels special. All of Sol's products are made from an organically farmed USA-grown help and are vegan, gluten-free, low-in-sugar, and federally legal. It's an easy swap that actually feels good Even the next day We love Seoul I'm a fan I take it to go to sleep I take it when I need to unwind

It takes the edge off I'm a big fan Bring it on the holiday cheer And treat yourself or someone you love To Soul this season Right now Soul is offering my audience 30% off our entire order Your entire order

Go to soul GetSole.com That's getsole.com One word And use the code WMBD That's getsole.com promo code WMBD for 30% off. Shopify, we might be drunk.

The New Year's always comes with that feeling that this is the final year. You do the thing you've been thinking about forever. Everyone has a business idea, a product they should sell a store. They've already designed in their head. The hard part isn't the idea. It's taken the real first step and actually launching. That's why Shopify exists. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person,

Whether you're starting from scratch or turning a side hustle into something real. Millions of entrepreneurs have already done it. From first-time sellers to massive brands, you can choose from hundreds of places, hundreds of beautiful templates, customize them to fit your brand and use Shopify's built-in AI tools to write product, descriptions, headlines, and even help edit photos. Marketing tools are built into so you can reach customers wherever they're scrolling. And as your business grows, Shopify will grow with you. All from one simple dashboard.

We love Shopify. We got Bodega Cat. We got shirts. We got glasses. You got to get on there. They make it easy. In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Chiching.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash drunk. Go to Shopify.com slash drunk. That's Shopify.com slash drunk. Here are your first, chiching. This new year with Shopify, by your side. This message is sponsored by Raycom. If you're looking for a solid gift idea or just something to upgrade your everyday routine, Raycon's essential open earbuds, great option.

Unlike regular earbuds that block out everything around you, these just sit outside your ear canal. You still get clear, full sound, but you can hear what's going on around. Yeah, you're not going to get hit by a bus now or get mugged by some guy because you've got your full cancellation going. It makes a huge difference. You're walking around the city, the gym, just doing stuff around the house. They're lightweight.

They're comfortable. And the rotating ear hook actually keeps them in place. Yeah, you know how often these other earbuds they fall out, you know? You lose one down to sewer or something? I don't know. Is that not relatable outside the city? Sorry. Plus, Racon delivers premium sound at about half the price of the big brands

backs up with a 30-day guarantee. The essential open earbuds are now here for the holiday season, and they're selling fast. Racon audio products are up 20%. They're 20% off this season. go to buy raycon.com slash might be drunk open a little complicated this time to save on Raycon audio products

that's might be drunk open all one word ordered by December 15th guarantee delivery by Christmas with great gifts they shouldn't show up late most jeans look good when you're standing up then you sit down and everything goes wrong

they're stiff uncomfortable they mess with your penis your balls and they're actively working against you That's why the perfect gene is different. They're soft and stretchy. They actively work with your penis and your balls or vagina, whatever, is down there. Or if you have both, you know, we're not discriminating here.

We might be drunk. You can move in these genes. You can bend, walk, eat a big meal, and live your life without feeling trapped in your pants. They offer six different fits, waist sizes from 26 to 50. That's a fucking range right there. That's legit. That's a very different-looking type of person right there. lengths up to 38 wow so if you're tall too this has got manu bowl this has got the the revolting blob

covered everyone doesn't matter who you are and you're not forcing your body to fit into some generic cut that was never meant for you these are jeans made for real people norm's wearing them every week i would still love to get a pair i'm sure i'll get one soon but uh they're coming hellie i'm excited because he looks good in them and i pulled on him and his dick looks nice in them he looks good For a limited time, our listeners get 15% off your first order. Plus, free shipping at the perfect gene. Or Google the perfect gene and use code drunk 15 for 15% off. That's 15% off for new customers at the perfect gene.

com with promo code drunk 15 after you purchased. They'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show to tell them we send you. Fuck your khakis. Get the perfect gene. You don't have to let a big wireless and an overpriced phone bill suck the joy out of the holidays. Honestly, any time of the year. Right now, Mint Mobile's unlimited plans are 50% off. You can get three, six or 12 months of unlimited premium wireless for just $15 a month, which is wild when you

think about how much people are used to paying. All mint plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network. You can bring your current phone, keep your number, and there are no contracts and no nonsense. You pay for what you need, and that's it. I mean, that's what you should be paying for, right? Turn your expensive wireless president to huge wireless savings by switching to mint. Shop mint unlimited plans at mintmobile.com slash WMBD. That's mintmobile.com slash WMBD.

Disclaimer must read verbatim here. All right. Limited time offer. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 months. That's like the $15 a month equivalent. That's pretty good. Taxes and fees extra.

Initial plan term only. $35. Biggs may slow when the network is busy. Cable device required. Availability, speed and coverage, varies. Seamintmobile.com. Come on. What's up, buddy?

How are you, sir? The Rizzler. What's up, man? Sit out. Wait, I'm not allowed to be in your children. What's up, man? How are you? This is big, dude.

Happy New Year. I'm just about to light a cigarette. Light it up. He's on two packs a day. What's up, champ. How you doing? Rizzler, how you doing? He's a big Knicks fan, too.

I love it. Get this guy at Mike? Oh, he's got one. Okay. Where you been, Rizzler? In school. In school. Good for you. How many tickets?

Sorry. We've comics. That's what we talk about. What school are you going to? Oh, he's got to like it. He's going. Oh, I guess you can't say to school because then people will show up. Are you the most popular kid in the class right now?

Oh, nice. You're fighting off some girls? Yeah. Yeah, you got to hit him. Fight him on. Yeah, little Chris Brown. It's exciting. How was it talking to Walt Frazier?

I saw that. That was pretty cool. Yeah. You a fan? Yeah. Very cool, man. Can we get him like a treat or something? He can't have alcohol before we get him something.

Get him a dog whiskey. You bring up that energy. Give him some cinger. Oh, boy. I like that I'm like five drinks deep. Who's your first? favorite comic go ahead that right oh I know it's a tough question yeah who does he whoa hey oh wow you have your own drink whoa how jealous right here hell yeah who's the

who's the coolest who's the coolest celebrity met so far um Jared Fogel Oh Theo one Oh, Theo one Oh, Theo one You even have a handler That remembers for you

Why you're doing all right I think his name's dead What's the next mountain to climb Twizzler Is that what's his name again Rizzler, come on He's a legend I got to claim ignorance here

I can introduce a gas You don't know who the Rizel is That's nice Everybody knows the Rizzler. I don't know him either. You kid? You guys don't know the Rizzler? I'm drawn to, like, when a young child comes in.

He's got slayed more poo than Pete Davidson. Yeah. Now, for future reference, if you see that outfit, walk the other way. The Rizzler's big time, man. There he is. 1.5 million followers. Whoa. Mama.

How did it pop off you? What was the big moment? Oh, so I came home one day. And then I told my dad I wanted to do a video and I was like, this is the face of a Rizzler. And then, yeah, and I just became the Rizzler. Hell yeah. Wow.

You had an origin story. Look at us, Buckford. There it is. They called Dave the Didler. Who is that? Who is that your unpaid intern? Who is that your... He does your stunts?

That's his bullet. That's the UFC guy. He's a little. He's cool. Damn, he is tiny, man. I know. Jesus. What is he?

Like two foot one? Look at him. Rob. How old are you now? I'm an old man. What is the Rizzler mean? Like, what's your... He's got Riz.

Oh, okay. Oh, I get it. So you're like the Lubowski of this Gen. HQ 9. Yeah. He's Rob Lowe. Really low. You seem pretty comfortable in front of the camera.

I think that's awesome, yeah? Yeah, what's like, yeah, what do you want to do next? Oh. Do any kids hate on you? of the guys to school resent you and they're jealous of you no no haters that's rare all right that's really great what about the DMs some real weirdos don't know did uh don't look so what are you hoping on from santa this year uh union card make some real cash so there's uh these action figures called marvel legends they're like marvel action figures pull them up white let's hear it

Marvel Legends Action figures I have like 40 of them You do? In my collection Holy terrorist How much money are you saving And how much you're burning through

That spider man Oh hell yeah The Captain America All of them Look at them all heroes Not like those firemen and police How big are they? They're like this big

Oh okay They're 6th scale Hezboa size So will there be a Rizler Marvel Action. That's a great question. We've got to hit the weights. He seems, yes.

And then there's these other things. They're called Hot Toys. They're the same thing, but just more expensive. Hot toys. And they're like this big. Pull them up. So what do you think about the Oscars moving to YouTube? What's the Riz's take on that?

Oh, those are cool. That is crazy, right? Yeah. Unfiltered and no time limit. That's what we need. Oh, God. Riz, what's your favorite, like, candy? I see you ranking all the candies online

Kit Kat's number one Good choice That's classic Give me a break I love it What's your favorite put down Oh Don't say the N word

All right good He's a nice kid He doesn't put people down Rizal what's your favorite cocktail We have a full bar here for you Shirley Temples Oh that's adorable That's the gateway drink

Next stop rehab Look, I'm even There's a video of me unboxing Barbelletches Whoa, let's see it Um, I'm in the green shirt Green shirt Oh, there's the Marvellous Oh, what awesome, unboxing

Oh my God Hell yeah He's so excited Damn, I wish you were my dad Do you play with them or do you keep them in the box? I just keep them, no, I take them out of the box and then I pose them, that I just keep them in a shelf. You know, in other countries, kids your age, when they do something, it's food.

They're like, look at this, food, into my food hole. Thank you. We're very lucky here in America. Thank you, USAID. That was a great, how many takes did it take you to get to that? Once. Wow. Nice.

You're a pro. You're hearing that guy? guys, movie, people? Are you going to be in their movie? Because, you know, they're doing a movie. We might have to write them in, dude. Oh, we got to write you in. That would be a great idea. That would be cool.

What's the plan after this? You're going to dinner? I'm going to play Fortnite. Fortnite. What's that again? It's a video game. I thought it was some kind of gender thing. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, you think about transitioning? Craig, you're a father. Say something. Give us some advice or something. Here's the advice. You've got to stand up to your parents. Yeah. They're going to tell you what to do all the time, but you've got a mind to your own, right?

Yeah, Rob Reiner's son style. You took a stab at it. Put cups over the ears, son, for a second. So, four weeks go, I wanted to see if Mark had to get a photo of him in your lap, like Santa Claus. What? You're going to talk to the dad there. Oh, wow. All right, well, let me.

Yeah. All right, my man. Oh, geez. All right, buddy. I'm going to get the head on. But he said don't have a hat. The hat takes some of the creep out of it. Oh.

Oh. All right. Well, he did it a little too easily. Oh, this is going to make me put on a list. Oh, there you got a warm ass. Now you can get off, sir. What the fuck. Dismount.

Dismount, son. He's risling. He's wrizzling. He's whistling right now. He's doing his tape. It's melted now. Thank you, Rizze. That was great.

All right. You really unboxed it. You guys lasted like six minutes. It was great. By the way, the original's been on Fallon more than us this year, I think. Oh, damn. He's killing it, dude. Why are you slumming it?

What happened? Give me any service. This is a, in the show, they call us a U-turn. How was the Tonight Show? That was good. They give you a gift bag for it? Yeah. What did you get?

Oh, like a T-shirt. shirt, like a mug that's a tonight show. Is that the family? Yeah. Boy, you've got a handsome, look at it. Your dad's got great arms. Wow.

Did you guys... You're the dad. Yeah, this is Big Justice and Little Justice. Oh, geez, sorry. Hey, I watch the Jersey Shore. This is the extended universe. Tommy T. So this all came from just this right here.

Wow. And now, do you know how long until you DJ? Can you explain to Mr. Atel what the Riz face is? He hasn't seen it before. Why me? Okay. So the Riz face is just this. That's it.

Yeah, but no one else could do it. I mean, you got it. Yeah. Do you find, like, when you're out in places, they go, let's see that Riz face. Do they say that to you? Like, I take pictures, like, once in a while. Once in a while. But now it's, like, a little bit.

Do you ever go, hey, you know, I'm eating or something like that? Yeah. Like, I went to the carnival, like, I literally got chased by people. Like, I literally had to say no pictures. I had, like, too... Kevin Spacey was there. They were trying to put him in a cage. Stay with us.

Is that you? Oh. Wow. I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous. Yeah, we're all a little shocked. That is cool. Have you tried on the ladies? Is it work?

Uh, yeah. What do they like to do? Pinch your cheeks, I bet. What do you do? It's fun. Yeah, hell yeah Save it All right, well thank you, Rizler for coming.

Thank you, Rizler. Thank you, I hope you, enjoy playing Fortnite, thank you. Yeah, group photo. Get Dad in here. Final question, favorite Christmas movie? Two girls' one's cup. Oh, good one. Two girls, one Riz.

Yeah. Oh, thanks, man. Appreciate it. Did a great job with him. Get in here. Come on and lean in over here. All right, thank you. Are you guys Long Island?

Brooklyn, New Jersey. Oh, nice. New Yorkers. Yeah. Well, thanks for coming by, guys. There is age. Good luck getting out here. I'm going to take that whisper.

You take it. Yeah, take it. You earned it. You want a tit for the road? Thank you, Rizzler, for dropping in. What a New Year's surprise. We've been trying to book The Rizler for years. Jesus Christ.

As all the die-hard fans know, there's been a lot of whiffs on the Rizzler so far. Oh, really? We've been stood up about four times. Oh, this is the first time he's been on? First time he showed up. You've never met him before? No. No, we've tried many times.

We've been blown off school. He's huge. He's a tough get. I didn't know that. Yeah. Wow. You wouldn't know it from his electricity. He was pumping out.

No, I mean, I felt like he, you know, he said, going to do him a favor, so he gave you 50%, you know? I guess so. Fallon, he's all over the place. You saw that clip. I know. It was cute, though. His feet didn't hit the floor.

He was, honestly, if you watched the Fallon, he's kind of phoned in there, too. No. He's just hot shit. He doesn't care. Yeah. He's just, he's the Riz, man. The Riz. I can't wait till Leo D's.

What? Uh, well, I think we got 10, we got 10 years. Mark. They got 10 good years. He's a good kid, Mark. Sweet kid. I'd hate to see him trick-or-treating, though. You know what I forgot to do is say, hey, say your prayers.

You've got to send him some Marvel Legends. Yeah, that's a good idea. Thank you. You're heading home to a duplex somewhere. To a two-family home with a very old parrot, a sick parrot in the living room. He has no idea what just happened. A heavy bag somewhere. His dad clearly just likes comedy.

Yeah, yeah. We got lucky. I mean, we were saying crazy shit. His dad was just like, well. You told him he had a hot ass. I mean I wasn't joking that was warm it was hurting we're gonna get in trouble for that shit dude hey he said on my lap you can't fucking do that I didn't ask for that I think we found a new judge for a kiltony can you approach him take him through it what'd you think of a sit

Riz only three Rizzes who did it take this in the context the Rizler gave you a lap dance Hey, good luck, my friend. AI will replace you in a second. That's true. He's on fire right now. Everyone wants a piece of the wrist. You saw that unboxing.

Come on. If Netflix doesn't jump on that, who will? Unboxing with the wrist. Oh, my God. You've heard of him, huh? I've never heard of him on NCR. I mean, where would I? Where would I hear about him?

Yeah, really. We run the same. Actually, I have met him once. We run the same team on the Nick's charity game. Oh. He was a defensive liability, if I say so myself. I can see that. But, you know.

He was a heavy kid. I mean, that was a lot of weight. Yeah. Very, you know, portly. Whoa. Cute, but cute. So cute. There he is.

Hey, look at you two. A couple of studs. Believe it or not, we didn't win the game. Can you believe it with this back court we weren't fucking crushing? It'd be better over there, bud. That's actually not a bad movie idea The Rizzler Yeah he rides him in

Oh is that Vinny from Jersey Shore behind you Oh there you go Sorry Greg Didn't somebody stick their thumb up somebody's ass In a Nick team photo recently Pull it up It was yeah Josh Hart did it to Jalen Brunson What?

Yeah he stuck his thumb up his ass They're fucking They're psychos, they're great They're friends Yeah they're buddies Do you see the video They made fun of Carl Anthony Towns, the cartoon. Did you see that?

No. Cat's a little zesty on the team. That's the funny video. What is this? Oh, yeah. Right up his ass. Wow, he jerked quick. Like right here?

Look at that spin. They're best friends. He's fucking one. That's great. You know Jalen Rose? Yeah, of course. That's the first ever person named Jalen. And it just stuck.

Really? Now there's millions of Jalen's. I didn't know that. Fun fact. Jalen hurts. I wish the race would come back. Oh, sorry. I think it kind of fell off out there.

I don't know. He's making me nervous, that kid. I was nervous. When he sat in your lap, I was like, this is not good. Yeah, was that again? Or was that just a wish? That was your idea. What are you trying to end the podcast?

I know. It was like a make-a-wish thing. How'd you read my mind? Yeah, the second that was proposing, this is fucking bad, dude. Boy, oh, boy. Oh, man. Yeah, the Oscars going to YouTube.

That is fucking nuts. It's all changing. Well, no, but that's good news for you guys. Is it? Yeah, on the news, they were saying, yeah, now we can have an unfiltered host, which is the one thing that they always hate. Any time any guy gets edgy, you know, they're like, whatever. But they're like, yeah, now we can get anybody in there.

It'll be great. I guess so. Yeah, you still get sponsors. Are you still get people paying for it? I don't know. They said 2029. So when does your film come out? Probably by then.

Yeah, hopefully. Jesus Christ, these fuckers take forever. Oh, my God. You wrote on the Oscars before, huh? I wrote on the Emmys, and I wrote on the Golden Globes. Who was hosting? Alan DeGeneres. Oh, we're not getting back in my favorite.

This was on fucking Fox News last time you were on. I know. Last time I was here, it got picked up on Fox News. You called Ellen a cunt, and they just ran. I was like, wow. It was on the New York Post, and then it ended up in London. What is that? What's the paper? Hold on, it's the Riz.

I know, I know how they all have to be sorry. I'll see you later at the unboxing. Go ahead, Greg. Something you were doing. Unboxing sounds like when a woman breaks up with you. And, yeah, and then I got picked up in London and, like, the mirror or one of those big tabloids. So I know Ellen read it because she's in London now.

She's in London. And it got a million views on here. She's coming back. She's coming back. Oh, great. For revenge. Can we get her on? We owe her that much.

I think she might give us less energy than the Rizzler. That's crazy. That's crazy. She's coming back to America. Do you think she's going straight to L.A. or what? Yeah, well, I think she sold all her houses. So that was like a billion dollars. Right.

And then she moved to England. And I guess she had like a historic farmhouse and she put on an addition and a cutoff like a river, an ancient river. And like the whole town Aided her I think she might have been driven out Damn Yeah She's driven out everywhere

That's two places There's two countries now Yikes She can be staying with the Rizler When she gets back You heard the Riz They live in Staten Island Queens, New Jersey

I like that guy He's got a time shit Yeah we live in a car You know We're everywhere Like a jewel We live in a Walmart Kentucky Fried Chicken

Matt, you know the Riddler I have no idea who that's I feel like in the room with people that just don't know Does you just want to cuddle them and everything Or no? I wanted him to drink a Shirley Temple Oh, that's right It was because of Shirley Temple

When he walked in I was like, who's this small child? Do you think that's a sexual fantasy Shirley Temple? There must be a pedophile that the Rizzler's like, that's my type. I like, I like round. Yeah, oh, definitely.

He was smooth as an Asian man. What is the, uh, what happened to Shirley Temple? She OD'd, right? She became like a, uh, she was an ambassador. I thought she took her own life. No. Who am I thinking of? Judy Garland.

You think of the Rizler after he does his podcast? what's the name Shirley Temple had like the worst like you know just like bad like with men like they totally stole her her money and everything Oh shit yeah They made her smoke cigarettes To stunt her growth and all that shit

She's always dancing with the health I saw those movies hell yeah She was in blackface in one of the movies What? Yeah Murtug Hey Lundoo up How long is this show been going on Wow you got on that OZemphi

Didn't you, kid? Give us a Riz. Give us a Riz for old time, see. Do you still do that? Did you see the Rizler out there? Now that you're a substitute teacher. Sean Murphy, everybody. John, you have a hard man to follow this.

Do you know who the Rizler is? I do. I just saw him in the bathroom. Really? Oh, you're sick. Which was embarrassing because you were at the short ear. Did you say, hey kid, I'm the drizzler? No.

He turned the lights off on me I was making a shit Whoa He's called that the boxing He's a walking glory hole Oh my God But at that height At that height

What the fuck is happening? All right Well I guess our resolution's not to be good people Guys Yeah Yeah But that was pretty epic to have the result That was awesome

Yeah He sat on my lap Yeah He just told that one day This will be inappropriate She's like never and she went out of the room. What the fuck?

What is this? Shirley Temple and Blackface. What the fuck is happening? Oh, wow. Good times. She's cute. Yeah. Little tar, baby.

Oh, brother. Mark talking to the residual later tonight. I wouldn't hurt you one bit. You're a pretty little boy. I got him in full black face. All right Are we going to play it or is that That was it

I need to come Is it Are we supposed to fill in our own lines What are you talking about Willis? Oh no Is that Benson? Well they even did the hands

That's commitment Yeah Racism and abuse This is before abortions Warm up There is would have been all over them she's violent

oh here comes the confederate army it's ice this reminds me in my best week every day holy shit whew all right good time what a dog whistle

blah blah blah blah trope that's a lot to walk into yeah sorry we just walked into a buzzsaw then you wonder why a CBS gets looted You see it right here

You're in these two queens Oh, sorry Oh boy That is crazy He just took his son here After school I mean Oh he went to school today

I didn't even think about that That's crazy What the fuck is happening Damn What a weird day for that kid Yeah I thought he'd be homeschooled in the kitchen You know what I'm saying?

He's a big kid He's a big kid He was chunky for sure So you're going home to Buffalo I try to include you I appreciate it yeah a couple weeks in January Nice

Not Christmas Not Christmas going to Connecticut The lady Yeah You're married right Engaged Whoa Yeah the Rizzler's gonna

Be away Well tell and I Me a tell him to the Rizler The last bachelor the last bachelor Standing on this podcast Yeah Rizley doesn't get him off He might beat you

What's the Where you get married bud uh we don't know yet wherever's cheapest oh the fat black lounge which club have you decided on bobby kelly will do a guest said and marry you too greenwich comedy club greenwich you'll bark people i just did a show in stanford which is pretty good that's a good good room yeah they're doing all right rough party town though huh no that's bridgeport oh i'm thinking that's fucking i got chased off stage in bridgeport that's fucking dice that's the guaranteed laugh you know what i'm saying

Bridgeport's scared New Haven's got some rough areas too Oh my gosh Yeah Remember that old What was that The Hells Angels Yeah Jokers wild

It's like a friend Wow How do you guys know that really? I did that room Just started right Yeah Yeah They still have not paid me

Yeah That's true True story New Haven You remember from your days at Yale New Haven guns waiting I'm an Eli

No I did They told me this is gay To sit like this There you go You just had a boy on a man's lap. Express yourself. Do what you feel.

I did that joke as well with Sarah Silverman. Back when we were Boston comics. It's that old? Yeah. It goes way back. And the club owner, she came in and he goes, Hey, you look good. Turn around.

To her? Yeah, you sit in the booth to her. He goes, turn around. And she goes, I'm not turning around. And then we did the sets And he didn't talk to her all weekend Because she didn't turn around Whoa

Good for her, damn I did I spun like three times And I got paid Damn Damn Were there Bikers there?

I don't remember It was a biker bar Yeah New Haven's got the pizza Oh yeah And that's kind of it And Yale And Mammoons

The original Mammoons Is that New Haven? New Haven Weird Toads The bar toads At Yale, it's not a choice. You have to.

To go with the Mamoons. Right. Toads is where the stones kicked off one of their tours. No shit. Weird. It's a little rock club. Pull up Toads. I want to see this joint.

Yeah, Connecticut's a... It's dicey, man. I've done, what is that? Manchester, the Hartford Funnybone. That's fucking rough. I've died there a few times. Yeah, me too. I got buried by a fucking sound effects guy there all weekend.

He was like, hit the fucking music. his whole thing was like it would be like in the air tonight they would play it and he would just act out being high in the grocery store to that song and it made no sense but it fucking murdered

murder like he would be like going through like looking for stuff and then he would just go boom boom boom boom boom and it would fucking annihilate and I was like all right one more time for that guy

but by show five I was like it doesn't make sense what he's doing doesn't make fucking sense and the crowd's like we don't care yeah what's your policy on like if you go to a town and there's an opener i mean i know dave you always bring your own openers not all not always but if they do crowd work do you say anything or you just let them do it i mean i don't give a shit

i let them do whatever they want to do but i prefer they do jokes obviously sure but if they if they have a moment i don't know no no not a moment i'm talking about somebody who like worse all crowd work yeah i don't like that no that's no that's no that's no good i just said somebody recently they were doing a ton really i kind of felt bad though i was like i shouldn't say anything but i don't want to like i do some crowdwork and I don't want to be in the back watching every moment of the rack to see who they talk to. Oh, it's about watching. That's the part of the potage. That's hilarious.

You should hand the guy at the beginning of the week your rules, like a big, like a playbook. Yeah, like, yeah. Now when I come up, fist bump me and then like giving a tap on the ass and I'll be like, whoa, what happened there? What's up with that guy?

And then stand to the side and laugh at everything I say. How did he take it? Your rules. You keep assuming it's a he. How do you know it wasn't a shame? Oh, nice. She was fine. She was fine.

Nice. I wouldn't tell a lady what to do. That feels she can tweet about that. Then I would. How come this crowdworking? Like, it doesn't seem to a, I don't know. I wasn't even going to say, but like, people don't want to be talked to so much, like, at the cellar and all these other city clubs. Like, they get really like, you know, like, I didn't think this would happen.

I'm like, don't you watch TikTok? Don't you? This could be your moment. Yeah. I know. Well, there's something. who are like don't talk to me and somebody were like why aren't you talking to me those are the worst i don't see those people but it almost doesn't make sense on the road

because the rooms are so big so you're talking about someone's hat and someone is like what hat yeah even see it exactly arena man i can see everybody well big jay will pull a stool out and do the jumbo tron crowd work i love it it's pretty impressive it's ballsy as fuck wow but if you got the jumbo they can all see the fat guy with the face tattoo or whatever he's talking about. And nothing kills harder than that shit in a room that bit. It's crazy. Crowdworking in an arena? If you can do it. Yeah. If you can pull it off. Right.

Because they're like, how the fuck does he have the balls to do this? Yeah. So. Yeah. I think the crowdwork bubble is bursting. Really? I think it's coming to an end. It blew up so big.

Yeah. That's a comeback down a little. A little. And people stop writing jokes. They were just like, oh, I'll just go up and go, what do you do? How long you've been together? What porn is this? you know, whatever, mom and daughter. That was a big one. See, you have a black boyfriend.

Yeah, that's a big one. Yeah, and they're just a long pause. You have nothing? You're just like, he's black. Yeah. That's all you have. That's funny. The Rizzler, I miss him.

That was one of those moments. I had a feeling he was going to come here. Oh, come on. Well, he said surprise, and he wouldn't tell us who? We call it a wet dream. Okay. Will the Rizzler get into stand-up, do you think, at some point? Absolutely.

That would be. Once the public appearance money dries up. Right over at stand-up into serious drama. Hopefully. Because if he opens up or be doing this shit, and it kills, I'm going to quit. By the way, you think he's opening for you? Oh, yeah, good point. You're opening for him.

Rizler, please let me open. The Rizler hands you a list. Don't talk about this. Don't touch your chin. I'm giving my avails at the elevator. That's one of those. You have a Sunday night. show and they'll tell you ticket sales are light

and as you're walking in the Rizzlers 4 o'clock crowd is storming out they all look exactly like him he's too inside he just keeps talking about how he didn't get in the movie warfare you see I couldn't do the flying thing I have an issue with that you guys unbox

that's the whole show he just opens action figures you're like this is killer see this is how you know we couldn't be pedophiles that was a lot of work That was tough. Oh, Marvel Legends. Get out of here.

You don't say. It almost makes you respect them a little bit. Yeah, petto. They got to go for it. No, it's awful. I mean, hanging out with kids is my niece gives nothing. Yeah. Right.

Gives nothing. All judgment. All judgment. She's 13. It's just a tough. I said her about mitzvah. She gives me nothing. Then she opens my gift.

And she's like, Uncle Sam, Big Hug. The next day, she pretends she doesn't know me again. I was like, come on. Try raising a couple. Good luck with that. Good luck, Mark. All right, listen, I've got to bounce. I'm meeting my son for dinner right now.

Where you go? We're going to some soup house up on Fifth Avenue. A show. What a fancy name for a shelter. And then we're going to see O'Mary. People like O'Mary. Yeah, yeah. So anyway.

The Rizzler's the new O'Mary. Great scene, man. Great scene. I'll see you guys. How long are you in town for it? Two weeks. I'll see around. Oh, yeah.

Come out. You're going to do some sets? Yeah, yeah. I'll be at the stand and the cell is. Please check out Greg. Greg is one of my favorite comics. killer very much great to see you guys uh Cleveland oh yeah pull the band's dates up you whatever how about it how about an invite for your podcast oh Fitzdog radio and

Sunday papers thanks Dave and yeah I love Gibbons he do it with Gibbons is the man hey he'll be in Jersey Cleveland Atlanta Austin the punch one comedy mother's Billy oh let's do a big gay photo just get in yeah get in dude How's my ass? Boney. That's a bony Irish ass. Hey, Sean, flop over here. One Irish for another.

Come on, it's hot. Sean, have a Shirley Temple that was meant for the Rizzler. I'm supposed to. The good old Rizzler. Break your future. Did you want to drink? I'm happy to make you something. Do you do a mocktail?

Yeah, I'll take a mocktail. Something. What do you like? What do you offer? What do we have? I got juice. I got ginger beer. Got egg.

I've got a spirit-free whiskey, I think so. Ooh, whoa. Spirit-free whiskey. Everyone seemed excited about that. I'll try that. All right. He likes the sweets, this guy. Yeah.

We get ice cream on the road. I didn't know that you guys toured together. Yeah, he opens a real lot. But when you play Buffalo, you let him headline, don't you? Look who's home. Yeah. You guys ice cream. How am I, uh, Tim Horton's?

I'm trying to think of that. That's a great town now. Who do you bring out, Dave? I pretty much have, like, four people now, but Nicole Amy Shriver, I do. Oh, she's yours. Funny. All my openers are going on in the headlining,

so they're doing great, you know. What about it? Ian and what's his name? Well, Alex Price, of course. Oh, yeah, a big guy. And that was one of the best theater shows I did this year was in Indianapolis. Really?

Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Which room was it? I don't know. Probably the smallest theater in town. I think that's what they call it. The smallest theater in town. You still using Mackey? Who?

Joe Mackey? I haven't... No, I don't think he ever... I thought you used Mackey. I don't know what. I think he did, I did like one or two gigs with him, but no, I haven't seen him. He's, like, so mysterious.

He is. But he is definitely one of the best. Great joke, I know. Yeah, he really is. He's the best guy to open for me. I was like, he's so damn fucking encouraging, man. I was hoping for you was the best. My crowd, like, even though they're old,

they really get it. Like, they really don't have any kind of, like, filter on them, you know, like, but as long as the, you know, like a solid material they're into it, but, you know, some of the locals, you know, always trying to give them like a ton of guest spots, you know, all this stuff. Yeah, I opened up for you in Buffalo and Raleigh back in the day. Oh, really? Yeah, it was me, you and Maddie Riener in Raleigh.

Oh, that's, well, Maddie, yeah. Wow. Yeah, she's on S&L. She's blown past both of you. S&L writer. Yeah. And then we went out to get food and someone tried to get you to go to their improv show. Ha!

damn no or take stage time away from 12 others I remember doing the dates with you and Jeff those were fun as hell man that when you guys were doing bumping mics and I mean I remember we ended up remember that we did like an all-nighter in a casino that night oh yeah gambling all night it was like the most fun night ever you know that Jeff has been so busy I don't know if you guys got to see his one-man show I have it I wanted to see it man really good I heard it's really good he was in the Middle East doing the troops he was doing you so yep yeah

Yeah. He's doing it. He's everywhere. Not me. I don't want to go near an airport for the next month if I can. Yeah. A lot of your gigs is local coming up? I just got Providence, and then I have sold joles again. Oh, that's a great room.

I'm looking forward to that one. I got to do that one. It's a good room. Workout. New stuff. Yeah. I think it's indoors now. Yeah, it is.

That's what I'm saying. It's way better. During COVID, though, that shit saved us. Oh, yeah. Outdoor dome. Holy shit. That dome was amazing. Yeah.

Those animals came out. It was like a January 6th. crowd it was incredible they were great uh-oh here comes a mock all right what do we got in this uh bodega cat n a whiskey n a

how close do you think you order another special Dave I don't think I'm ever doing another one oh get out of here I feel like that was the one thing I think you guys will get which is just the disappointment of like I thought I was doing the work but I'm really not getting anything good like it feels like it's always

being squeezed down back into the same 25 minutes so you know i don't know what i'm doing you know like i'm just trying to do these other things now so so i don't know but what do you guys think three years four years how many because you know let's face it i'm pretty much um half in the grave at this point so why you just put it out who cares maybe you don't like it but we all love it we and do yeah but what's the point of like then you have to tour again with what like you know i hate that but you can't help but do new shit constantly i mean you're going to do it anyway but how much

of it is good it's fucking good we've seen it's great i saw you two nights ago you're killing you're the dude I watch when I'm like fuck I suck I got to write new shit no way dude yeah I saw your after party after carnage of your mom oh my god it was like a model I couldn't believe the

I couldn't believe the sevens and eights that you've drawn I was the shortest guy in there oh really dude no but every time your new shit is so good man oh thanks Sam and you got news the topical stuff is impressive you pump it out quick

I was on the phone with someone last night who was like David Tells on the pocket like couldn't believe it oh yeah that was the Rizler stuff you could do a whole hour on the Rizler if you wanted to yeah you guys have the same body no it would be really funny if you the Rizler looks like a chance smokes

he does yeah how old is the Rizler has this been covered already? I asked he's nine you never ask a gnome his age nine years old his poor kid works harder than any of us his tour schedule is probably worse than ours oh i'm telling you he's like a kid at the apple factory slave labor is he really

is he like all like coast to coast or is he regional he's pretty regional but yeah i think so he'll he's in movies he's oh he's everywhere he's blowing up i think he's in happy award too what a great as they say get for you guys very good get yeah he's a hit you got him right before he went all religious

you're not doing a special again but bobby lee's finally doing one. Yeah, that's right. You see that? After 50 years of stand-up, he's doing a special. I don't know what he's going to do. Is that really his first one? Yeah, ever done. Wow. He held out till the money was right. I guess so.

It's going to be on Hulu, I think. You'll do another one for sure. You got it. You will. No, you know, it would be I mean, whatever, you guys do your own specials. I assume you're in the same boat, which is just like, I point does the platform not matter at all like that's probably soon that's a good spot to be in like a couple of years would you would you would you live stream one no no i don't like the live

i don't like the pressure of it what's the point of doing two shows if you're just gonna yeah yeah yeah you got one on january six january six that's right that's what comes out memorable date yeah on uh no way yeah yeah that's your last one what's the special call uh long story the choose will not replace us It's called fight, fight, fight, good marketing, you know. Long story, thin. All right.

It's a reference to a thin dick joke. Nice. Got a big thin dick closer. Oh, yeah. Don't give it away. Don't give it away. Does Mark introduce you, or what happens? No.

He phones it in? Yeah, I just put on the channel. I had them on here, and I'm done. It's big. I'll take it. There you go. Well, Sean's killing at the seller, man. He's crushing.

Everyone likes. Liz doesn't say nice stuff about a lot of comics there. She says nice stuff about you. The fact that she gave you a date there, that means something. Yeah, he shot it at the cellar. She doesn't say yes to a lot of people these days. Yeah, I'm very thankful. Yeah, she's great.

The moment she started kind of being nicer to me, I was like, oh, this feels good. Yeah. You know, like, it won't less. Yeah. She turns to me constantly. I have friends who see her just like start screaming at me, and they're like, that was awesome. They think it's awesome to just watch someone scream at me. spot around the corner now yeah she's a tough cookie yeah whenever i get a where are you i'm

like oh i'm in trouble she holds that place together she's the she does she's the glue without her would be uh let's face it um third world country anyway congrats buddy in advance so what kind of merch are we talking about What are you going to be selling out there? I do sell condoms on the road. That's my merch. What's your crowd like? Are they also?

Clearly white. White, then, Dicks. I see you might have cornered the ophthalmologist crowd. So since this is our New Year's episode, we didn't prepare for this, but do you guys have any New Year's resolutions? Oh, actually it was a peeves. I have a peeve.

Yeah, what do you got, Dave? I was going to say not to be. in a room where a guy has a boy sit on another man's lap that was still in a camera yeah no camera's sending in a trauma trauma person you missed that

yeah I like that you fucking set him up for that too yeah you're like I have a good idea I have a wish and the fact that he agreed I was like what the first off he's nine you can't get his consent dad first

he said for everything that kid he was you could have fucking done whatever you wanted dude If I die in a car crash, they're going to show that photo. Be with a kid on my left. I think we found the new Corey, if you know what I'm talking about. I got a peeve. I had a stop and chat with someone the other day, and it was 15 fucking degrees, and she was annoyed that I was like, all right, I got to get out of here.

And she's like, that's it. And I was like, it's freezing. It's freezing. I was trying to get indoors. I'm dying out here. Yeah. That's crazy. Be annoyed by the stopping shot.

I gave her like a minute and a half, two minutes. How well do you know her? Not well. Okay. Okay, that's fair then. I was living, she's like, okay, and I was like, it's cold. Okay, you're lucky, I gave you a fifth minute and a half. Okay, signfold episodes.

Okay, guys. You remember the okay episode? 15 degrees, 15 minutes. Ooh. Did you want something to drink? No, I'm all right. What do you got here, sister? I'll take a grilled cheese.

Tomato soup could be a drink. Thank you, though. What is this? Manhattan's because I realized I accidentally made the old fashions with the N.A. Oh, good call. Do you bartend, I'm sorry, do you bartend in other places lately?

Stumble in. Just this place. I mean, because I heard that like now it's all about fancy, non-alcoholic, like $50 drinks, you know, but it's really just juices and, you know, wages and stuff. Kids don't drink anymore.

They know. I go out with, I'll go out with Todd Barry for a drink sometimes and he'll order a mocktail. And it's like a $16 dollar pear juice. Waste of time. Kids don't drink. I've been trying to get the Rizzler to drink for you.

He won't do it. Bill hasn't touched to Shirley Temple. Oh. We need his face on a Mike's hard lemonade. I'm going to send him a bouquet of Twinkies. Riz, you've done a great job. You've done it again, Rizley.

Kids don't drink, but they do want me to charge their vape, which is inferior. Oh, these quips. Charge your fucking vape? Charge their vape? I can't take the vape people serious. They come up to me with their vape, and they go, you got a charger, and then I give them this face, and they go,

and can I get a club soda? Oh, vape apologist. Yeah, I'm a vapeologist. Yuck. Grow up, you ninnies. I operate the outlet. All right, here's my peeve. I'm on the flight the other day.

Guys got a giant service dog, like a Rottweiler or something. Big old dog. It's going up and down the aisle, whatever, and it's like poking its head in everyone's lap, you know? And this guy kept doing this, which drove me fucking crazy. Instead of going, sorry about my dog, sorry, he would go, you don't mind, do you? You don't mind, do you? I'm like, no, no, no, no, you can't tell us how to feel. It's very aggressive.

You don't mind, do you? Yeah. You know, you're basically saying, like, I'm telling you how you feel. He bites off an infant's face. You don't mind, do you? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. What kind of dog was it, though?

I don't know dog breeds. I'm not Michael Vic. But a big dog on a plane is annoying. Yeah. I like any dog on a plane. plane. It just breaks the tension. But a little dog I like. It's so tense up there. A little dog I'll take, but...

Because you know it's bullshit that like the service animal, it's like a fucking, you know... I know. It's like a chihuahua. You're like, it's not a fucking service animal. But you guys know Jizzling's joke, right? About the support dog on the place. That's a great joke. It's a good joke. Give it to me. I'll butcher it, but do you know what Sam or... I don't know a verbatim, but I know the joke you talk. It was in a lot of special. I like that show. It's definitely in the trailer, so it's so good.

Okay. I saw the special. I can't remember. I got a couple more but I'm wearing this fucking monkey suit hold on what he got under there just the Rizzler's pajamas the Rizler really was the gift that kept on giving it

Oh yeah I thought we were all very Hold on I got it written down Oh the Rizsler already Right off the top of your head All right how about this guy You go You're out drinking

And I go I got a flight in the morning It's like 2 a.m. I better go And they go What time's your flight? And I go Well, that's like 10.30. And they go, that's not bad. Is this about me?

No. You're just doing peeves about me to my face? 10.30. I did this to you last week. Well, here's my point. 1030 is bad because you've got to be there at 9.30. You got to wake up at 8.30. 8.30 sucks when you're going to bed at 3.

Yeah. So they go, oh, that's not bad. You're acting like I have to be there at 1030. No, you're right. That's all. I hate the other stuff. I just like hanging out with you. That wasn't about you.

I was having fun. That wasn't about you. That flight was at 7 a year. Oh, yeah. all right i got another day up the whole night i always get the first flight out just stay up the whole night i can't do that how what is your sleeping schedule everyone always asked me what your sleeping schedule is i don't know what is it but no like on the road like stay up the whole night and then fly out and then like um uh when i land i'm like am i too tired to drive in it's like

yeah but uh yeah it kind of ruins the whole next day but i'm always i'm afraid i'm gonna miss the flight right or there's going to be a problem at the airport which is really weird it's like get there early like there's a problem at the air airport like I don't know how to fly a plane nor fix one so why am I there like why was I alerted that's true bring your tools now can you sleep on the plane

I used to do that I don't do it anymore damn that's a gift Dave would pull an all night on the Burt tour you would just stay up all night in the bus yeah well you know well that was the weird thing about that tour which is that it is a party bus but like I felt really uncomfortable smoking on the bus and then the bus driver who is a super fan

had a heart attack Now, I'm not connecting the two, but he was the one guy who said, you could smoke up here. The driver was the Rizzler. He did have that kind of quality. Yeah. But, yeah, no, I always like, I'm afraid I'm going to miss the flight. But that's good. You get some winks in before you get home.

Yeah, you try. How about this? There's another peave. I don't know if you got any. I don't have some. But you go. Okay, okay. This guy who won't answer any questions, but he tries to seem cool.

You're like, holy shit, you got his free pizza. How'd you do that? And he goes, Oh, that guy. Or he goes like, I'll tell you, but I'd have to kill you. Shut off. I'm just asking about the pizza. You know, hey, how'd you get his free parking?

This is awesome. Hey, I work in mysterious ways or whatever. Some bullshit answer, you're like, well, just tell me the answer. Stop trying to give me these limericks. Hey, I know a guy or whatever. He's like undersharing. Yes, yes. But he's trying to seem cool.

No, I know you, man. That's annoying as hell. I used to know a guy who would wink. I hated the wink guy. You go, hey, where did you get this Ferrari? That's not an answer. I used to know a guy who would let kids sit in his lap on podcast. Oh, that's appalling.

It was awful. That's appalling. Who would do that? What do you got, Sean? I think if you're out to eat and you get your food first, you should be able to eat. No shame. What is it? Subway takes?

That's not a peeve. That's a peep if you get shame for it. I see. People give you shame for it. You should be allowed to eat. Hot food, no question. Hot food, no question. But even cold food.

Like, what do I get if you're waiting on me, you know? And if it was the reverse, you would be like, go for it? Yeah, because I get nothing for you waiting. Interesting. Yeah, I guess you're right. There's a curb episode about this. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

Larry gets his food first. And he's like, do you mind? He goes, yeah, of course. So you got to wait for me. He's like, what's the difference? And they fight. Was it cold food or hot food? It was a sandwich.

That was part of the argument. But yeah, I, I, I get that. People get really weird about... Do you have any ones that really happen to you? Yesterday, I swear. What about... My other peeve is I tripped shack at a Laker game one time.

Really, it was bad. I let a black guy live with me. What about... We've talked about... I think you should be able to get into hotels earlier. Oh, that's a great. Oh, my God. We'll get back to four now.

It's at 4 p. Yeah, so how many hours are you really in the hotel? That's the thing, like 11. Exactly. Not to mention, for us, we check in, then we just, we're out. Yeah. Yeah. You're just sleeping there, really.

Sleep in a shower. Do you go right to sleep when you check in the hotel? No. I have to, like, walk around for like two hours or something like that. I'm a walker as well. You sleep when you check in during the day? No. Like right before the show, I try and get a couple of hours, but it's really like when

you check in, it's like, I got to go buy cigarettes. Where can I get a coffee around here, you know? What are you up to? for my dad I'm like I'm like it's like I just want to it's always in a place

where it's like so unwalkable right hey is there a coffee place yeah you see that highway then there's like then there's like an alley

yeah and through that there's like a like a really bad coffee right because you're in downtown Albany it's always the saddest

weirdest place you're gonna say Buffalo but go ahead I would up take that if there's a trans barista you're getting a good

cup though that's true every downtown's gonna a transverse you're like there's a good place right here Trans, somebody has a great bit. They're like, trans make the best coffee

and racists make the best barbecue. Interesting. Yeah. I never heard that. I don't know whose bit that was. Damn. Larry David, probably. We're ripping off this episode.

More peeves. We've got to get him on here. What's your favorite city to go do, Dave? Well, I guess the best ones for me are D.C. and San Francisco. And I don't know. There's like a couple of really, really good ones. But it's like, I don't like going back unless I got at least like a new 15, 20 minutes. At least.

You know? I feel really. But, you know, but, you know, the people book in the show I'm like yeah no you're you know I'm like yeah but I don't have anything really new you're the most prolific comic dude no I don't think I definitely don't think that's true

I think you're the most I put you two at the top I always say you guys are the machines you enlist I'd say or pumping it out you pump it out dude I'm trying but my jokes are so short you got some stories in there I have to throw some if I'm doing an hour I have to throw in stories I can't do fucking I like the short jokes I have to do a few of those but like in an hour

I need some longer bits Yeah. Well, when I was in Spokane, Stanhope and Andy were there. You know, like they were doing the early show, and I had the late show. It was one thing like that. And, like, I hadn't seen Doug live in a long time. And it's amazing.

He comes out, he does about 20 minutes. They were talking about going to the Ukraine. And then Andy does like 25, 30 minutes. Then Doug comes back out for an hour. And then at the end, they both do it. So I was like, man, that's a lot of show. Wow. And his crowd's way younger than mine.

So evidently, you know, people got the word. But I was like, man, he really brought. it. I was like really impressed. Then I'm up there with the recorder. There was two guys who could juggle. I said, can you juggle past me as I'm playing the recorder? Like it was just like all this like it was it was hack city. I kept going to duck. Is this hack? Dude, that was the most fun night when Stanhope came to hang it. Sorry, it's been a long day. You couldn't wait for the Riz. Wouldn't that be great if he cried? Like no. I just had a box that. When Stanhope came to the cellar, we just hung to That was, like, the best night ever, man.

Oh, that was so fun. That was, like, what was like a year ago? I was so fun. Yeah, that was a while ago. Doug is a fucking man. It was during the California fires, I remember. That's right. Yeah.

You're risen. I'm rizzing. Oh, sorry. Tradebark. You stole his essence. I'm the jizzler. You stole his essence. Sorry.

Sorry, they're, uh. Do you want another comitini? Ah, go. Hey. Now that the children are asleep, the party starts. Hold on, I wanted to say something. You said something about Stanhope in the show, Ukraine and... Spokane, it was right before Spokane.

Dave being prolific. Yeah. I don't really want to talk about that. It wasn't about Dave. No, I feel like every joke I have right now, it's like it's only a matter of time until it either stops working or I hate saying it. Right. So there's like, there's that like fucking window, whatever is that five-week window maybe, something like that?

That's what I'm saying. Put it out. Put a clip. I just don't have enough material to tour on right now. So once I have that, then it would be like, yeah, what are you going to do? But I'm saying if it's a joke that's about to go out of the ether, the zeitgeist, throw it up real quick. All right, I'll call up my partner, Dick Van Dyke and both don't get out there. Geez. How about Andy Dick? Exactly.

Do you hear about him? Yeah. He got found on Hollywood Boulevard, like slumped over. He was on crack. He's having a tough go. fucking yeah dark that populated type Andy Dick and it came up

Andy Dick Nward Oh jeez what is you doing Kramer's act Holy hell I blame the boulevard That place is just filthy It is disgusting He's been on drugs a long time Yeah

I remember his son used to be on comic strip late night It was like all the It was all the like the Neppo Connection cutting in front of us on late night It would be like Lucas Dick Jordan Rock Like everyone just cut in front of us Can we get on the fucking show?

Yeah. There he is. You just... You know, I... If you've ever seen him when he's at the top of the game, he's super funny. Very funny. No question. I'm just going to say that, because people love to dump on him and everything, but...

No, he was great on news radio. He is like... He's electric. I mean, like, when you see him on camera and everything, he steals. He steals the scene, so... Yeah. But, like, yeah, that's sad. But that Hollywood Boulevard.

is disgusting and honestly where dreams go to die over there I just did the store again yeah how was it well thank you guys yeah well now does this keep going till new years is that one no no benefit Dave plugs them let's pull up Dave's tour dates

no you don't have to do that I got soul Joel's coming up in January me what is it what is this oh Sam's threesome tracker Sam has 365 yeah because I Mark had a threesome and I admitted I haven't, so...

Well, let's hope it's not cold out, so you won't... I was listening. The Rizzler and his dad. It's going to happen. Let's make it happen, guys. You have a year left. This is fucking hilarious. You're going to get some DMs.

Who did this? Who did this shit? Peters. You made this? AI. All right. I was going to say, you're a good office. AI.

AIA. AIA. Sam's a threesome track, all right? I hope that would go see Dave on the road. Look at this. Soul Joles. You can see in Pennsylvania, Pottstown, Pennsylvania, stand-up live in Phoenix Great Club.

That's in February. February's busy for me. The Brahe Improv, February 17th through 19th. You're at Cobbs every week. Oh, no, just the 17th through Bray. Then you're at Cobbs the 19th through the 22nd. Wow, you're there a long time. Yep.

That's a great club. That's where I shot my specials, so. Yes. That special is just magical for comedy, so. Dude, that's special rules. Check it out. Go check it out on Netflix. And Addison Improft in March.

Zanies in June. Hell yeah. Good clubs. And then I'm, then I die. Sometimes I'm in June. Dave said this every hour that he's done, but he, and then he puts out the best hour. I'm not doing it. Come on.

Well, you guys, you guys just set the bar too high now. That's not true. You're, you're ready for anyone, right? I'm taping late February in Tampa. I got one coming out in March. Yeah. Wow. So how many is this now?

Six. Watch out, Carlin. You and Quinn are the reason We're like, fuck, we got to write a lot It's because of you and Colin And Louie And here we go Sean Murphy's Newspouty

That looks like a GoFundMe or something I'm an adult special needs But I'm still a major I'm getting married You got ALS You're wasted away Look like a fucking ransom note

I know I know It looks like her is This looks like a chat GBT printout I don't let my crones hold me back. Go see. Well, first off, watch.

Yeah, the special is the big one. Yeah, the special is a big one. Special January 6th on Mark Norman's YouTube page. Watch that. Long story thin. And Steve's Capital after. I'm out there, baby. I'm in the, I'm in the streets.

Have you heard of a comma? Like, what is it? Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. You acted like they're clicking away. No, wait, wait. January 12th, I'll be in good bits. buddy believe in your font change your font then your hair could

I gotta work out my website Sean's a very funny guy support the special his shit's really tight really funny support this brackets around opening for Mark Norman I'll give me some more dates just so we can

yeah tighten this up a bit oh well all right well yeah go see the MIRF dog and I'll be at see look at that professional that's nice that's nice

I'm back in the clubs, baby. Des Moines. Wow. Braia, right? Before Dave, thank God. How many days in Brea? Look at you on my birthday. Oh, shit. No. Big 78. I'm in Rob, Bend, Oregon, Ron to Oregon, Grand Ron, some casino. New Brunswick going to sea in the stress factory,

San Antonio, Tulsa, and Arizona. Where are you playing in San Antonio? The LOL comedy club? It's good. It's a big room. Yeah, I got a med-ed- I like it, but the ceiling isn't high enough. It's a good COVID room. But, yeah, I got it.

Whoa. I'm working, I'm tightening the screws here for this. Omaha Funnybone, one of my favorites, January 8th through 10th. Love you, Colleen. I got the DC improv. Never played it. January 16th through 18th. Never?

Never played it. Whoa. I'm going to love it. Yeah, Allison and Antoine. Added Adonite Zanis there. I'm going to tighten it there. And then we got, we got Stanford, Connecticut, and the Providence Comedy Connection the weekend that'll be up.

Whoa. Happy New Year. Tampa Theater, February 27th, gonna add the 26th as well, so that should be on sale now, I guess. So that's the special. Hope I see you in Tampa, guys. Love you.

Love you, Florida. Happy New Year. We love you guys. And buy some bodega cat. Thank you, Maddie. Thank you, Maddie. Oh, it didn't work. Miss fire.

You got one each. Oh, shit. That thing is loud. nice fuck my ass I can't get anything let me pull out my gun damn it was like

me in the Riz I couldn't get it up great up watch this guy's special see Dave on the road yeah we love you guys and we love you guys

Happy New Year Happy New Year Sunday's the day for my next Fender a bit of Peverack you know the future's close I've had a little too much

bourbon and Norman's talking shit about the fucking post and I get down in the same way up on the roof like the cops coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans this woman doesn't look like I remember her

and I get down in the same way we might be true At Fandual Casino, you get even more ways to play. Dive into new and exciting games. And all of your favorite casino classics, like slots, table games, and arcade games. Get more on Fandual Casino. Download the app today. Please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in Ontario.

If you have questions or concerned about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1866-531-2-6-600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. much.