We Might Be Drunk - Ep 267: Godfrey & Gary Vider

Episode Date: January 19, 2026

Godfrey crashes the studio alongside Gary Vider. The guys go deep on comedy history, wild impression stories, getting fired, almost getting SNL, bombing charity gigs, surviving COVID shows, and why re...ps matter more than prestige. Godfrey breaks down his rise on social, iconic roles like Zoolander and Soul Plane, and his brand-new stand-up special Rebel With A Cause, now playing in movie theaters nationwide. Plus, racial comedy debates, theater vs club money, old-school legends, and absolute chaos throughout. Guests: Godfrey Website: https://godfreylive.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/godfreycomic Special: Rebel With A Cause – now playing in theaters nationwide Gary Vider Website: https://garyvider.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garyvider Podcast: #1 Dad https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/1-dad/id1749986511 Sponsored by: Willie’s Remedy The alcohol alternative that actually works. Fast-acting, THC-infused social tonic with no hangover. Get 20% off plus free shipping on orders over $95 at https://www.drinkwillies.com Use code WMBD Trade Coffee Fresh-roasted coffee matched to your taste by real experts, not algorithms. Get 50% off your first month at https://www.drinktrade.com/drunk Acorns The financial wellness app that helps you invest automatically and grow over time. Get a $5 bonus investment when you sign up at https://www.acorns.com/WMBD Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril tickets: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand tickets: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Bodega Cat Whiskey: https://bodegacatwhiskey.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bodegacatwhiskey ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #Godfrey #GaryVider #RebelWithACause #1DadPodcast #MarkNormand #SamMorril #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #WilliesRemedy #TradeCoffee #Acorns #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:07 This is it. We might be drunk, baby. What's up, guys? Hey. And gals. And gals. We're trying to be more women-friendly. We need more women fans.
Starting point is 00:00:18 Well, Chelsea Handler didn't help. But we're trying. Lord knows we're trying. She was cool. I liked it. Still bangable. Yeah. I'd say.
Starting point is 00:00:31 Is that a compliment? Yes. Okay. I think the way you worded it probably wasn't ideal. Well, female... It's like referring to... A visual women's vagina is pussy. Ah.
Starting point is 00:00:40 It's like, I don't think they love the word, but bangable is a compliment. Right. If a woman told me I was bangable, I'd be like, thank you. Of course, but I think it's different for a woman. Probably. You know, uh, anywhere that during sex, you can say mean things to women, but not before sex. Yeah, they kind of have to prompt it, though. You can't out of nowhere, just be like, you whore.
Starting point is 00:01:00 That's true. They have to be like, they have to get the wheels in motion a little. But then sometimes girls, like, I don't want to tell you what to do. do because then it ruins it. And then you take some liberties and now you have a restraining order. There you go. Ridiculous. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry I sluts shamed you. I try. I was in character. And seen. All right. Well, there you go. But I can see her being pretty wild in the sack. What's new, man?
Starting point is 00:01:32 Same old. The wife's out of town. So I've been watching movies at home. I got the whole TV to myself. What are you watching? I watched Jeremiah Johnson last night. I know the meme, but I've never seen. It's Redford. Redford, Sidney Pollock directed it. John Millius wrote it. He wrote, I mean, this is Apocalypse Now.
Starting point is 00:01:49 This is Conan, Red Dawn. He's like a real man. Did you write Letterman? Who? No, I was kidding. It was not a late-night joke. Anyway, yeah, no, I heard it's good. Oh, it's fun.
Starting point is 00:02:01 It's super fun. It's based on a real guy. Yeah. Name a John Liver Eaton Johnson or something like that. And he would eat the Indians, like Native Americans liver after he killed him. So that's a wild movie. It's good not to waste. You got to eat the whole Indian, I've always said.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Eat the whole Indian, exactly. You don't want to be wasteful. Yeah, never seen it. Oh, that's great. I've never seen it either. You know what I watched the other day? My buddy Alex English tells me to watch. That's an underrated comedian right there.
Starting point is 00:02:29 I love Alex. Killer comic. We got to get them in here. We should. Love Alex. Good hang. Anyway, he told me, we're talking movies. He goes, you've never seen, we're talking about how we both like camera on.
Starting point is 00:02:38 He goes, you've never seen, I bet you've seen this movie. Get in here. Oh, shit. Get in here. Come on. Hey. Godfrey. Godfrey, everybody.
Starting point is 00:02:51 I was going to talk about the movie paid in full. You've seen that movie, right? My buddy, mine are our best friends is in it. Who's one of your best friends? Oh, he's a great actor. He was just in my podcast. Oh, nice. We came up together in Chicago, the poetry and comedy scene.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Oh, geez. Talking to the mic, talking to the mic. Wow. Oh, sorry. Yeah, what? Oh, what is my buddy, buddy? I just was on the phone with him a couple days ago. Yeah, he's a great actor. Yeah, he's great.
Starting point is 00:03:15 The Wire? The Wire is the best show on HBO ever. Man. It's probably my number two. I might go Sopranos one. Well, no. No, I gave you to it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:27 I love The Wire. No, no, no, listen. Sopranos lasted longer, didn't it? I think so. But Supranos is more comedy for rewatch. But Spanels is just as good. Yeah, yeah. They're two different types, but it's still about.
Starting point is 00:03:38 crime. Yeah. Sure. But it's both equal. You know, you're right. I didn't even realize it was HBO. What's that? Supranos was HBO.
Starting point is 00:03:45 HBO had a run. But then it moved to, Supranos moved to another channel. No, no, it was all HBO. Yeah, yeah. They had a run, man.
Starting point is 00:03:52 No, it was all. Gandalfi. HBO. First of all, Erie Spears does the best James. It's crazy. Can we pull it up? I've never seen anybody doing Gandhany.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Me and him do Jason Statham versus. Can you do Gandalfini? No. You can do almost everyone. You know, I was working up by Sam Elliott. Oh, shit. I'm watching Landman.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Landman is in red. I got to watch it. Landman is phenomenal. It's great. It's phenomenal. So good. Oh my. Phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:04:34 That is crazy. Phenomenal. Wow. That's legit. Phenomenal. Who's your, what's the one you get asked for the most? No, it's a Trump, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:44 It's Trump. because I just did one to Trump with Adam Ray. Oh, yeah, I saw that. Adam calls me and goes because I did, what did I do? Okay, they were at the beacon. It was a sold-out show, right? So Adam Ray, they call me, and I go, they go, dude, where are you? I go, I'm at the gym.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Like, you're at the gym. Oh, shit, man. What's his name? Joey Diaz just bailed on us. Diaz was on his way to the show. Yeah. And he just, he got too high and he had to pull over. I got a guy. I'm fucking Cuban.
Starting point is 00:05:17 He just fucking bailes. So I go, what do you need me? He goes, dude, we need you to fill a segment. Yo, just Steve Harvey thing you do? Just fucking show up. I go, where are you at? Beacon. Well, I'm at Equinox.
Starting point is 00:05:31 It's only 10 blocks away. Oh, my God. So I was like, fuck it. I'll be there. I'm in my sweats, though. So I run over there. Like Maduro. You know, on stage.
Starting point is 00:05:39 And we just fucking Steve Harvey it up with Dr. Phil. Wow. Improved it fucking killed it And then he goes, yo Look at That is crazy So that's at the comedy store That's December 10th
Starting point is 00:05:53 Oh, I thought you were Farrakhan Holy shit Farrakhan's hair hasn't Got that one That's true But yeah So he flies me out man And I stay at the hotel
Starting point is 00:06:05 Next to the comedy store The Azzaa Whatever And And Aziz And Oz right So I'm there And
Starting point is 00:06:13 And what's his makeup artists that are from Mad TV and SNL, they do my wig. They do a real, oh, wow. They do a real wig thing. They do a real wig thing. And I say, yeah, don't do anything to the skin. I want it to look just like that. I want to look like multiverse Trump, you know what I mean? Afro Trump.
Starting point is 00:06:35 You know what I mean? So I said, I look like a preacher. Yeah, totally. Televangelis. Why are you gay? Dr. Do Do Do Do Do Dirty. No, no, no. Pass the dude dirty. You know who gave me that name?
Starting point is 00:06:47 Dr. Dre did. Oh, really? I know. I have a lot of weird shit that's been happening. Well, you've been blowing up. You're all over my feed. Well, it has to happen in some fucking... No, you've been blown up for a while.
Starting point is 00:06:58 But I've been busting my ass on the social media. I'm not the choice, bro. Yeah. It shows. Well, I mean, everyone's been doing their own kind of thing. Everyone, all you got... Everybody's... We haven't been doing it the normal way.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Sure. Whether you're on Kill Tony or whatever. Everybody's, comics have created their own fucking, this fucking community of, we're just doing it our own way, man. Whether it's, Seguerian and his shit, the Rogan and his shit, it hasn't, we haven't been, been moved around and bossed around by the fucking network. You know, we're just doing it. We're sick of waiting for him. Let's do it ourselves. And Schultz was one of the same guy.
Starting point is 00:07:37 I remember him first saying it. We got to start counting on ourselves. And fuck these people, man. And look at everybody got fired off. a series X-M. I did. All of us did. You're a show in series, too? Yeah, for like two years. Bitch fired me. She wanted
Starting point is 00:07:51 me, have a show. I go, I don't really do radio. No, you should do a show. She saw me in the hallway. You know, I was doing Jim's show. Yeah. And so, yeah, yeah, you should do. I was like, I don't really do radio. I don't like sitting in a fucking, you know, I want to show up at whatever clock, you know.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Yeah, well's up, Tom and Jimmy. Good morning. I hate all that shit. So I was like, uh, I I was like, all right, what time? Oh, what about 12 o'clock? I think I could do that, right? Okay. So it was for an urban view.
Starting point is 00:08:20 It's like Al Sharpton's on that stage. It's like gospel. It's like conservative black people. I say, well, I'm not conservative. I talk shit. So what's up? She goes, no, we need, you know, our channel's a little boring. We want, her name.
Starting point is 00:08:35 I'm not going to name her name. Fuck that bitch. I'm going to give her no problem. Well, now it's no one. Now it's fucking Howard Stern, Baba, Bababooie, and a Kourg in that fucking office. Yeah, that's it. Stern is the reason why it's still floating, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:47 And I was doing stuff for Stern, little, like, he does these little, like, sketch things. And so I was doing some voice stuff for him. It was dumb. But anyway, I'm doing that. And so I, along with this show I was doing. So at 12 o'clock, I got an hour show, and it was power hour, and I just brought some of my comic friends on talking shit. But it started doing well.
Starting point is 00:09:11 And, you know, I had little, you know, the thing. you answer calls and shit. Oh, that's fun. So my shit stayed lit. Like, because I was talking shit. Because I said, I'm going to talk shit. I'm telling you. I'm not, I don't hold me back.
Starting point is 00:09:22 No, go do whatever you want. Yeah. So I went in doing my shit. I had different people on. I had Method Man on my shit. Vivica, I had all kinds of people coming through, right? Because they used it when they were promoting shit. Right.
Starting point is 00:09:35 I mean, we're doing pretty good. Yeah, we're sick of sway. Come on. And then. Charlemagne, don't get me started. Right. And then bam, they say, hey, you want two hours now? Because people say you need longer than, you need more than that.
Starting point is 00:09:50 It's like one of your sets. Hell yeah, only 15 minutes. Sure. Hey, if I go last, I'm doing 30. If I got to watch the circus go by, guess what? Fuck that shit. Yeah, you're able to help it. Hey, there's a juggler before you got me.
Starting point is 00:10:06 All right, motherfucker. That's another 45. You don't know. No, fuck that. So, um, so, uh, so, uh, you. Yeah, so I got two hours, right? It was six to eight. You know, I said, I think I could do that.
Starting point is 00:10:17 That's like prime time. So I got moved to six to eight. I started doing really well again, you know. And then all of a sudden, all of a sudden I started getting hounded by them. Oh, you can't see this. I go, oh, man. And then I got fired one day because I said something crazy. What did you say?
Starting point is 00:10:34 I said something about, it was, I was in D.C. I went to the series X-M, the big studio, their main, it's unbelievable. It's beautiful. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to do some cross-promoting since I'm doing a DC improv. Yep. I'm going to go, I want to go by the studio. It was fired from where he hosted the Godfrey Complex on Urban View Channel.
Starting point is 00:10:54 It doesn't say why. Oh, the truck driver and a fan approached Godfrey for a photo at the headquarters. In the headquarters in the lobby, yeah. Oh. And you said no photos were allowed. No, no. The dude at the desk was like a gay dude who was transitioning. I know he had makeup and, no, a dude, black dude.
Starting point is 00:11:10 And he was like, but he was rude. He was like this. Uh-uh. Nope, no, there's no photos. You can't have no photos. You know, like, Shanae? I can't tell what side he's transitioning to, at that impression. It's like this, why the fuck, there's no photo, you can't have photos.
Starting point is 00:11:22 I was like this. And it was just me and him in the lobby's huge. I go, the guy is a subscriber. Yeah. Truck drivers are what keeps Series XM going. Exactly. He's a subscriber. The guy just was nice, he was an older man.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Like, my kids love you, da, da, da. And she, I, you can. I say, man, you're kind of rude, dude. Like, relax. there's no one here. Yeah, who cares? It was the weirdest exchange. And Godfrey's like,
Starting point is 00:11:47 so I beat the shit out of her and they fired me. Hell no, him. Him. Still had the strength. All right. So no. So I went to Laura Coats,
Starting point is 00:11:56 who's one of the main anchors on CNN now. She's a lawyer. She's a badass lawyer. Laura Coates. Okay. She's the shit. And she, I went on,
Starting point is 00:12:05 yeah, her. I went on her show. And, you know, because I was cross-promoting, so I woke up really early to do these different shows. just to talk, you know, get on her show, get on, so I went on her show and she goes,
Starting point is 00:12:17 yo, what's, what, you seem a little like disturbed? I say, yeah, because people know I talk shit. I talk shit. I would say, I would love to smack the shit out of this person, blah, blah, blah. Right. So I say, yo, this dude downstairs, he like, you know, he kind of stopped me from giving a guy a picture. He was like, he was, I guess he was part of the LGBT community.
Starting point is 00:12:38 And he was real rude to me. He was just, like, rude. So I imitate people anyway. So he was like, and I imitated exactly what he said. He goes, nah, no pictures. There's no pictures. And he was so rude and he had these braids. And I wanted to take him by his braids and drag him out and throw him out the door.
Starting point is 00:12:56 And then that's what got me fired. What? That's that? None of that shit. Right. No. I don't care if you're gay, but he was just rude. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:04 But they love to put, because you're gay, you, it has nothing to do with your character. Right. You know what I mean? Of course. You're just rude. But they like to combine it. Yes, well. And by the way, braids is not male or female.
Starting point is 00:13:17 That could be either gender, right? But what's funny is they like to combine it when it's convenient. Right. Because if I were to say, I don't like gays, oh, there has nothing to do with my character. Then they want to be human after. They go back and forth. They volley with the shit. Welcome to the white man's burden.
Starting point is 00:13:35 We've been dealing with us for years. Which is, by the way, the name of our podcast. The White Man's Burden. Remember that movie? Oh, yeah. That was heavy. I don't know it. White man's burden was
Starting point is 00:13:45 John Travolta. And wait a minute. In the deep south. Pete Green, who's my friend who passed away. Peter Green? Is that Peter Green in that? Oh, he was a good actor.
Starting point is 00:13:54 No, he was my friend. The mask. Oh, yeah. And no, Pope fiction. Remember when they were doing the guilt? Oh, Zed. He did die, yeah. Peter Green.
Starting point is 00:14:03 That seemed as the black man's burden right there. Getting medieval on your ass. So what now? I'm going to tell you would now. Oh, shit. I'm gonna call a couple of hard pipe hitting niggas with the homes here. You hear me talking hillbilly boy.
Starting point is 00:14:18 I ain't through with you by damn sight. I'm gonna get medieval on ya. Yeah. Wow. It's like now, two things. You stay gone and be gone. Wow. That's good.
Starting point is 00:14:30 That's a fucking great scene. That was great. I was hooking up with the girl once while that scene came on. And she's like, let's fuck. And I was like, now we got to finish the scene. Hold on. I can't be. I can't fuck you.
Starting point is 00:14:40 You just have it in and wait. then you start pumping. This is a sodomy scene. I can't get in the mood to this. I need the redemption. And you have a sword over your bed. I'm choosing lube's like the way Bruce Willis is choosing weapons. Said's dead, baby.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Codd's dead, baby. Sid's dead. Oh my God, that woman in that scene the next scene, like, did they have the pancakes? Are you like me to chop your fucking, yeah, that was my friend. Whoa. Pete Green was a fan. How did he pass away?
Starting point is 00:15:08 I don't know, man. He's an old school New York dude. Like really old school. Usual suspects too. Oh, that's right. Pete Green, let me tell you, one of the nicest human beings. Pete was old school. He's from the 70s in New York City.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Sure. So I met him in L.A. And I met him with this dude name. This guy, he was a rock. He's an underground rock dude named Harry. And he has, he's got. He's always dressed God. So he was a fan of mine.
Starting point is 00:15:36 So we would hang out. And Pete Green would come around. And he goes, hey, man, I'm a big fan, man. I love you. stuff, man. I'm going to come see you, man. I'm come see you. So one day he comes and sees me. He introduced me to his dad, too. He used
Starting point is 00:15:49 me his father, the whole night. And then one day he comes to the laugh factory. It's fucking great. He comes. He goes, what time are you going on? That's what I'm going to be there. He doesn't fucking see no one else. He walks in leather jacket, just fucking comes in walk. After I'm done, he goes, yo,
Starting point is 00:16:05 that was fucking funny. I'll see you later. Walks out. Bad ass. Damn. Yeah, he was, that's a good guy. He was a nice guy, man. And you know he's a badass. Yeah, he looks like he plays the meme. Yes, yes. Dorian in the mask.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Yeah. Yeah, his face is so like, he's so, but he was, he passed away, rest in peace. Yeah, he was, he was cool as fuck. Undetermined death. That's a badass way to that's how I want to go out. Yeah. Undetermined. I want to go out determined.
Starting point is 00:16:35 But it's like when they say, we're a suicide. Whereabouts unknown? That's a good one. Yeah. Well, yeah. So, yeah, so, oh, yeah. Anyway, the Trump thing, Adam's like, hey, man, we need to do Trump and Biden. We need to do Trump, Biden, dude, you got to come do it.
Starting point is 00:16:50 I said, all right, it's our first time. Hey, fuck it. He said, your Trump is, come on, man. Shit's crazy. So I said, all right, we go over there, we do it. You know, I go, here we go. I'm not going to lie. That shit was funny as Adam was funny as fuck.
Starting point is 00:17:05 He's a pro, man. Why? An improviser. Yo, he had, you know, he had teleprompter. Were you two guys who were. I guess Adam was on Mad TV for a minute. But you were two guys that could have been on SNL
Starting point is 00:17:17 and it just never went that just never went that just never went. But you made your own shit, both of you. Yeah, I said, why not turn the phone on yourself? I just during COVID, I just took advantage. I was like, we don't have a fucking choice. Were you ever close to SNL? Did you guys tell you about my audition?
Starting point is 00:17:34 Uh-oh, yeah. Get in there. I know this is a sore subject. No, I'm not, I don't it's not like, it's not a body blow anymore. Okay. He used to be like, like, like,
Starting point is 00:17:44 y-h-h-a-kotty, like, like, ha-h-h-h-h-h- You know, when they, you know, the Asians would die
Starting point is 00:17:51 in those movies, oh, what about S-N-Hoy? I remember, this is when I knew it was getting crazy. When Dane Cook, this is when Dane was in
Starting point is 00:18:06 in his really, that era of, when he was really, like, unbearable. This is not, me knocking him. He's all right now. But I knew Dane, I knew Dane when he was
Starting point is 00:18:15 at the cellar, man, when he come to sell her from Boston and be like, yeah, you know. Right. And I knew him when he was with Barry Cats. Right. Come in, what's up, bro? That type of shit. And so I So when he got to a certain
Starting point is 00:18:29 level, because he was one of the, was that my name? I believe it is. You're blowing up. No, no, that's, I needed to silence. Dane Cook going, shut the fuck up, dude. He was like, this dude, I heard you, bro. I got this new film. No, I remember we did the half hour in the tank top. I'm like, he didn't have one friend be like, mm-mm.
Starting point is 00:18:44 I ain't going to lie, though. She was funny, though. It was so crazy. But the tank top was so bold. It was so, remember he went to the camera? No, it was a good half hour. It was so, I was like, who is this? No, no, it was different for sure. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, that was he made me laugh. I think sleeves are a good idea for a special. Yeah, just my opinion. He was really funny and dope as hell. And I give him his promise, but it was a period where He didn't really speak to a lot of us anymore. Oh, wow. Even though he took that tour with Goldman and Bobby.
Starting point is 00:19:18 And those are the guys he came up with. You know, Al Del Benny? Oh, yeah. It was Al Del Benny and the Monkeys. That was an improv group in Boston. It was Robert Kelly, Al Del Betty, Dane Cook. It was all, and they were all together in Boston. And so after he got to a certain level, I mean, and this is not me not
Starting point is 00:19:37 not contained at all. I just noticed they weren't speaking. with each other. It just wasn't, you know, it is what it is, but what the fuck was I going to say? Oh, yeah. I remember he told me, he goes, he goes, I don't understand why you're on an SNO. That was like, but even he said it again, 20 years later. But he even said it.
Starting point is 00:19:58 And, you know, and he's a guy that could do a lot of stuff too, but yeah, I've been asked that and I go, yeah, I tried, I tried out. Did I tell you the audition? Yeah, but it's a great story. Norton's, I was on Norton's podcast last, two weeks ago, we're gonna have, and I auditioned for it. And it was me, Kevin James. Wow.
Starting point is 00:20:17 That was Kevin James. Well, Kevin's doing just fine. Sure, sure. Two sitcoms later in fucking. Every movie. Syndication. Shit, man. Yeah, so boom.
Starting point is 00:20:28 It was me, it was a bunch of us, man, Fallon. Whoa. It was Tracy Morgan. Peter Green. It was, Peter. He was like, we do Z's dead as a. sketch. You know, we had to do four characters, four impersonations.
Starting point is 00:20:43 I did the character. I did five. I topped it with a Johnny Carson. Whoa. Wait, do you remember the other impressions you did? I don't remember. Can you do a good Carson? Wow.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Good stuff. Yeah. I did not know that. Wow. This guy's going to be a star. Yeah. I could do them. And they gave it to Morgan.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it is. I didn't even get to the second round. Dang. I got a standing ovation that night. Whoa. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:08 And I'm coming from Chicago, maybe three years in comedy. And I'm like, I get to, and my manager is like, okay, you're auditioning. Anthony Michael Hall's dad was my manager. Oh, shit. Andy Michael Hall was my friend, like, I knew. It was weird. I know Anthony Michael, but he's big now. Right.
Starting point is 00:21:25 You know, you know him in 16 candles. Yeah, yeah. But I know Matthew's 6-2 now. And he's like, what's up, man? I'm like, holy shit. Yeah. And he did Dead Zone. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:34 He was dead zone. And his mom is a singer, Mercedes. His mom's singer, Tom, Charles. Shostaro was his dad. So I was being managed by Tom Starrar, David Klingman, Italian and Jewish combination. And we had Sandra Bullock, John Liguizamo, me, Mike Geps. This guy, T.K. Kirkland got us all together. Oh, I know T.K. Kirkland, all of them. He got us. He got me that management because they met him in Chicago. My shit is insanely weird. And that's when that's the night, that's the year I met my first roommate was Viola Davis.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Jesus Christ Yeah Upper West Side She was at Juilliard Oh my God You know everybody I know Things worked out for her
Starting point is 00:22:17 Yeah She's good man And she's always good And she still has little discrepancies about her pay Like they still underpay her Because she's a black woman It's really fucked up
Starting point is 00:22:29 It's like she's just as good As everybody else And she still She crushes in everything And then just imagine her complaining about shit. Women, they never stop.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Upper- we get it, Monique. Enough's enough. I remember, I remember, like, she was great in every little part, and then she got that role in doubt, and I was like, oh, this cast is insane. It was like her, Merrill Street.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Merrill Street. It's next left. It's just, it's the A&B finals, man. Yeah, yeah. No, it's like every grade. When they act, it should be like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. down at Merrill Street.
Starting point is 00:23:08 So what happened at the audition? I went up and I remember I, you know, I was like, man, Eddie Murphy, because, you know, growing up on Eddie Murphy, you're like, fuck, I have a chance. I'm in the city where SNL is like, I lived off of SNL. Sure. It was the Eddie Murphy show for us. It was Eddie Murphy, Joe Piscopal, of course. And it was just like, it was Eddie Murphy. Fuck, man.
Starting point is 00:23:30 And I was like, I have a chance to do SNL. This is insane. So I'm fucking nervous as fuck. but then I go in and I murder and it made me more nervous I was like oh fuck I get off stage my manager was like we didn't know you're gonna do that well
Starting point is 00:23:44 holy shit and I didn't and after that I didn't get because when I did to Johnny Carson that shit went they were like what the fuck and it was at the comic strip uh huh
Starting point is 00:23:58 comic strip when comic strip was like pretty fucking good with Bob Waxe and with Rich Tinkin Tinkin when he was And then when he lost his voice, I know when he had his voice. Damn. And Lucian was there.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Lucian. Looking like Robert Goulet. So, yeah. And, yeah, I was like, damn. So they were like, well, we got to see what happens. I was like, I was like, I can't believe I got a standing ovation. And then nothing happened. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:24:27 No, they didn't give you a reason or anything. What did he say? There was no reason? No, I didn't get shit. I just didn't get anywhere. I was like, oh, I guess that's how it's... So you think about it. You're just like, what?
Starting point is 00:24:38 Then you see the people who made it. You're like, oh, I guess that's how it goes. Look at the draw. That's the industry back then. He had no control. You can kill and still get nothing. But then Daryl Hammond, who was on the show. Yep.
Starting point is 00:24:50 You know, I... Oh, party's over. What are you doing here? Come on. We're talking to... Oh, fuck. I don't know. I just going with you guys.
Starting point is 00:25:01 I go along with negativity. Yeah. Fuck. out of here. I'm trying to help Gary sell a ticket. Sit up. Hey. What's up, man?
Starting point is 00:25:14 I just treat you like a dog. I was like right here. So I'm in the middle of my shit. Now, as I was saying, I was like, Darrell Hammond comes up to me a few years later with the seller because I, Darrell only talked to me and a few.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Daryl only talked to a lot of people. You know, Darrell, he's dressed in black. Yep. Good comedian, man. Yeah, yeah. Fucking good comedian, man. And I did so many shows with him.
Starting point is 00:25:41 The trench coat in the Yankees cap. That was like a second one. Oh, yeah. All black. He was like the original blade. That motherfucker was the... Amazing Clinton, too. His Clinton...
Starting point is 00:25:50 It was incredible. And his jokes were really good. Yeah. You know, and... Well, he was dark. He was like a crackhead for a while. He ended up. And his daughter having problems.
Starting point is 00:25:58 It was a lot. But he would always talk to me. And he would go, he goes, He said next to me at the bar, you know. He says, man, I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time, man. I know, like what? Like he goes, he goes, man, I remember your audition at the comic strip. I said, what?
Starting point is 00:26:17 He's like, I was there. I was sitting right next to Lauren. And all the producers, I was sitting right there right next to him. I was watching. And you know you leveled the place. No one could follow you. It was over. And he goes, it was a no-brainer, but I knew you weren't going to get it.
Starting point is 00:26:31 I just, I knew you weren't going to get it. And I say, well, why? You know, he goes, well, he's like, man, you would have been too strong for, you would have been, you would have been too strong for the show. That's what he told me. You would have been too strong for the show. He saw what Eddie was.
Starting point is 00:26:45 To my accent, she's like, your dick is too big. That's why I was like, I understand. You don't want to fuck you every episode. It's not right. You take all the pussy, and that's not right. Basically, you'd get all the ass. Just keep it real, you got free. Come on, this is a white man talking.
Starting point is 00:27:00 We're tired of it. and we're feeling insufficient. God damn it. Even if you were a eunuch, we still would believe you got a big... But, yeah, that was what he told me. He said, I just wanted to give you some closure because I thought it was unfair. And I said, oh, shit, well, that's cool.
Starting point is 00:27:18 It's nice to have closure, but you're still like, damn, that fucking sucks. I just want to do well and do... Take over a show. What is that? Like, hey, give me a script. They were scared it was going to be, like, isoball, and you weren't going to, like, share...
Starting point is 00:27:30 That's weird. He said, he's told me honest. He said, I'm being honest. I'm on the show. He's on the show. And I'm a straight, white male, blah, blah, blah. I'm telling you the truth. And I appreciated that.
Starting point is 00:27:41 But then I did his podcast, right? Hammond had a podcast for real. And he goes, well, you lie, he goes, telling you truth, man. I was like, just wanted to check. Yeah. You know, but yeah. And then I did a table read with Colin Quinn. Colin calls me, right.
Starting point is 00:27:55 He goes, hey, I need you. I need you. I need you. I need you. I need you to do a table. with me. You do all those voices. I need some characters.
Starting point is 00:28:06 You know, oh, fuck, I do you, yeah. So, it's called St. Andrew's Bones, right?
Starting point is 00:28:12 And he was supposed to be produced by Adam Sandler. And he wanted, and I went to the SNL studios again. I never been there. So I'm doing this table read. It's me,
Starting point is 00:28:21 Tracy Morgan, there's a bunch of other, I don't even remember, Horatio Sands. There's a bunch of us doing a table read. And I played five characters. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:28:29 So I played a Dominican. I did, because it's a real New York movie. Like, it's all different races, going at each other. And so I did a Dominican, I did a Russian dude, all this shit, right? Veter and I just wrote one. We're both Asian men. We're Dominican. We try to do everything.
Starting point is 00:28:45 So I just did what I go. A woman. I'm trans binary. I have braids. I want Godfrey to drag them. You missed that part, Gary. You missed that part. And let's let them.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Let them ruminate all. Let them marinate. Let him marinate and wonder. Yeah. I watch this episode. Godfrey. I know what you guys were talking about. I reviewed it.
Starting point is 00:29:12 My favorite Godfrey character is 80s bully. Oh, yeah. He does 80s bully very well. Oh, wait, which one do I do? Which one do I do the moves? After. Do the moves? Yeah, do the move.
Starting point is 00:29:25 I go, woo. That's your ass at the fucking contest, man. Let's get out of here. Dragons move. That's unbelievable. Woo! I want to finish up what you're saying, because I have a question.
Starting point is 00:29:40 I've got to ask you about something. Okay. Okay, here we go. Woo! Slow down, fire, slow down. Like this. I want them now, man. I want them now.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Put him in a body bag. Fucking dead, bro. You're cruising for a bruising, man. Woo! They go in the drop top. You know, like, woo-woo. He's jumping a convertible. Yeah, woo.
Starting point is 00:30:05 Then we hit the sign. Don't worry about him. They're a bunch of losers, man. Yeah, they're picking up the books that he knocked out. He's like this, I guess you're going to do homework, huh? Yeah. The woo. You're lucky, buddy.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Woo! Watch out. Slow down. Don't give him too much, buddy. S&L was right. Nice. By the way, Gary Vita. We didn't even intro him for the audio.
Starting point is 00:30:30 listeners. Gary Veters in the building. Then you need some introduction. I feel like you need one. You need one. You need one. Maybe at one point in pickleball. Not really a real sport, but you won. That's all we have left is pickleball. The black guy played hockey now for Christa.
Starting point is 00:30:55 You know hockey was invented by black people. Was it? No. Come on. Show to color hockey league. Guy who's racist. What? I love it.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Get out of here. That's why I do it. 1895. It's not even February yet. Come on. 1895 colored hollick hockey league. What? For 22 years before the NHL.
Starting point is 00:31:12 We don't like to talk about that. We'll be editing that out. Man. That show's not going over in the black. You know that. I think that is weird. 18, but you showed it, you showed it. Did you show the photos?
Starting point is 00:31:27 Can you show the photos of the color hockey league? Please. Thank you. In the Maritimes, thank you. There it is, 1895. Oh my Lord. Yeah, show it up there. What color was the puck?
Starting point is 00:31:37 It was black still. Okay, okay. And that's the only thing left. Here we go. Oh, my Lord. Yeah, so that's 1895 in the Maritimes. Prince Edward Islands. That's Nova Scotia, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Holy shit. So they created the slap shot. This is real. It's a book called Black Ice. It's written by a white dude, so you'll read it. Okay. And it was on ESPN did a 30 by 30 on it. I got to watch this is fascinating.
Starting point is 00:32:02 So we were playing hockey before and ever since then we've been skating on thin ice. Listen, guys. Taste the meal, I'll be here all night. Hey, cat skills. Ho! Whoa! I open up for Freddie Roman. Hey!
Starting point is 00:32:15 Ho! Taste the soup. Hey, Jack and Mason. Ho! Freddie Roman, I did have to do. I did a... A friars club? No, I did a fucking charity with Freddy Roman.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Oh, really? I didn't think he's still. Is he? I think he is. I don't even remember the fault. Raymond is. You've seen him. Is he still alive?
Starting point is 00:32:34 He passed away. Oh, 2020. Listen, he lived long, man. That dude was funny. Really? He was old school. Really? Old school, but he was like dirty.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Yeah. But he was funny. I had to do a cystic fibrosis thing with this guy. Remember Jay Fiedler? The quarterback. Jewish. He was, he's fans. We don't have a lot of.
Starting point is 00:32:58 We like to watch a show. He was a fan. He was a fan of mine. So he came Boston Comedy Club. It's like, dude, I want you to do a charity for me, man. It's going to be like the Patriots will be there. I was with Scott Stapp from Creed. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:33:12 It was like a bad list. Listen, listen, it was a golfing thing. I was just with Scott Stap was out of Creed. This is not when I can you take me higher. Then when he was all slim and cool. To a place where. blind man she should you get fat or something?
Starting point is 00:33:30 Yeah he got chunky I think he's back all right now but he was a little chunky Now he's asking they could take him lower on the scale I'll tell you're right
Starting point is 00:33:38 You got a stab eating Hey good What a crow What a crow What a crow And so he was there And I go That's Scott Stap
Starting point is 00:33:47 I was like Hey Scott It was just This golf thing It was so weird And then Ricky Williams Yeah Running back
Starting point is 00:33:53 I thought that's like Big Jay That's so good That's a good one. The early big Jay, though, that's that shot? Legion of Skanks. He's in a new group. But yeah, so it was, and so we had to do this comedy show,
Starting point is 00:34:09 and the cystic fibrosis, it was so bad. It was like all old Jewish people, giving money. Jay Fiedler's with his crew, then there's some guys, McGinnis, all those guys from the Patriots. They're like, you're going up? I go, yeah, I don't know when. Oh, man, it was so uncomfortable. Freddie Roman gets up there,
Starting point is 00:34:26 and they all know who Freddy Roman. is he's murdering. I don't know one Roman bit. But he's doing this. So I go to the doctor, you know, that type of shit. Yeah, yeah. But it's funny. I ain't gonna lie.
Starting point is 00:34:37 This shit was funny. I love it. He goes, I couldn't fucking believe it. He's destroyed, like these, right, right. Kill it. And your premium, you know, your premium, the kicker from the dolphins who fucked up. He's the, you know, finkly, think of him.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Premium. Look up your premium. He's the kicker from the 70s with Larry Zonka and Mercury Morris and those guys when the dolphins in the, it's 70s 70s. Don Shula. Oh, he's a witness kick. You premium? You premium. Spell that.
Starting point is 00:35:11 It's you premium or stuff shit. He's a kid that we're trying to get from Russia right now. Is you premium? Yeah, right? He's the kicker. Who's the kicker? There he is. Gero.
Starting point is 00:35:19 What's that Greek? Epramian. Oh, that should be Armenian. Oh, look at that mug. That's Armenian. Anytime you see A-I-N means it's Armenian. Kardashian. Y-A-N or A-I-N.
Starting point is 00:35:32 Right. Rogosian, you know, like, yeah. Oh, Bogotian. That guy, that guy, the actor. Then there's just Eric Begossian, yeah. Cher is Armenian, Sarkisian. Oh, okay. She's Armenian.
Starting point is 00:35:44 So I-A-N or Y-A-N means they're Armenian. Got it. Right, so that's your premier. So he was there. They were roasting him. So he's on this big-ass chair while Freddie's doing comedy. I go, what the fuck is going on? And he's talking about this guy.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Ma, blah, bah. And they're laughing, boom. It was these strangers shit. Whoa. And then wait. I don't get to go up yet. They got to have people whose family members are suffering from cystic fibrosis. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:12 So they're up there telling stories. People are crying. You ready for the next comedian? It's me. Oh, boy. I'm like. And Lauren Michaels was in the crowd. He's like, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Let's see what you've been doing my people. So he goes, Jay Feather's like, Like, yo, yeah, you got it. You got it. I go, the fuck. And everyone's, like, sad. So I'm going up doing my jokes. I don't even remember.
Starting point is 00:36:34 I'm eating my balls, man. I'm like, then I just go, wow. And I start dogging repress. He's still sitting there. I don't know this guy. So I just start shitting on him a little bit. Uh-oh. And then it's kind of working.
Starting point is 00:36:46 It's kind of working, right? And so then I go, yeah, this is an all-Jewish little, this is an all-Jewish event. I can see that. And he goes, but Jay Fieler, I didn't know he was Jewish. A Jewish quarterback. Jesus Christ, what is that like in the huddle?
Starting point is 00:37:01 He murdered. I go, okay, this is what we're going to do. That's Jay. There he is. This is what we're going to do. How's the goat? Not well. Look at their records.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was like, okay, this is what we're going to do. You, you go this way. And they go, yo, the Schweitzer, just run. The place went crazy. That's great. And I was like, good night. Wow.
Starting point is 00:37:27 I had no other. You got out of it. That's killer. You pulled it out. You pulled a Hail Mary. I was right. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:35 So, yeah. So where was I? Wait, wait. I want to hear about the Dr. Phil Trump. Oh, wait. But first, the table read. Oh, sorry. Quinn.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Table read, right? So this lady comes up to me. Blonde lady comes up to me. Said, we're taking a break, right? To get into water. Who are you? Who are you? Like, what are you?
Starting point is 00:37:53 I said, I'm Colin's friend. She was reading table read. I didn't know. who she was. It was Calvin Klein's daughter, Marcy Klein, who is, who ran SNL. Yeah. I was like, yeah, let's show her. Marcy Warner was the combo. Sorry. Right, right. No, Marcy Warner, yeah. Yeah, her. So she comes to me, hey, who are you? I go, I'm just reading with Colin Quinn, just helping him read out. She goes, I just saw you transition from accent to accent with just ease. What's your name? I'm seeing a transition in Eckerson,
Starting point is 00:38:21 Serious XM, front desk. So I got there. She said, I need your information. da-da-da-da. I was like, oh, I didn't know who was... And Colleen was like, dude, she never does that. That's fucking great. That's amazing. I go, all right. So I went to my...
Starting point is 00:38:39 I was William Morris at the time. And I said, hey, I told them, they was like, Marcy Klein. You get the fuck out of here. I go, no. Marcy Klein. She talked to me. I was doing it. She goes, that might be your end right there.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Are you fucking kidding me? I go, yeah. Boom. Nothing happened. He got to him, nothing. It was all just radio. silence. Damn.
Starting point is 00:38:59 So Darrell was probably right this whole time. But I didn't, I didn't, I was just going there for a table read. Damn. Yeah. Do they never, do they, they audition people twice ever? Like they'll have some people. Yeah. Like the following year.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Like a. Melissa Villasignor went three times. Three times. She, I knew I worked with her in Montreal. She tried out three times. Because in the business, I always find that to be the craziest thing. Like when they say, oh, I don't want this pilot. But it's like, you made it to like so, you're so far in the line.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Yeah. And then they say, no. It's like, how about a rewrite again? Yeah. If I made it to like second, if I made it to like callbacks, then you might have a reason to go, you know what? Let me come back.
Starting point is 00:39:35 But I didn't even get to that. Yeah. Didn't get to that. And then Jamie Massada calls me, you know, Jamie Massada. Sure, a laugh factory. He goes, you know, I can do Jamie, right? He's a Persian, Persian.
Starting point is 00:39:50 He goes, hey, buddy, listen. I have, I want, I have good comedy. with SNL coming to La Factory. I need your body to come audition for La Factory. He said, no, you can do it. I know you can get it. I said, Jamie, I'm not doing that. I'm not, they don't fuck with me.
Starting point is 00:40:08 He goes, what are you talking about? Fuck. You're sucking. You're the best. You do so character, voice, everything. You have to calm, body. I fly you out, no problem. I said, no.
Starting point is 00:40:18 I'm not doing it. I'm not fucking with doing it. He's like, you have to come. They gave it to Phenest Mitchell that year. I wasn't going to auditioning. I already got, you know, it's already like, be the dead horse. Sure. I get it.
Starting point is 00:40:29 I got the message. I'm like, yeah. I know, but if Finesse can get it, come on. You could have been in there. You want somebody. But, hey, I'm just saying, I ain't saying nothing about anybody. I'm just saying. Finesse.
Starting point is 00:40:41 No, but it is good for them guys. They got it. But I just, they weren't fucking with me. It is what it is. Yeah. So it's like a chick, man. She don't like you, motherfucker. And you're better off.
Starting point is 00:40:49 You couldn't barely get up at noon for serious. You can't go to SNL all morning, all night. You made your own thing. You made your own thing. I made my own thing. Yeah, that's just to say I made my own thing. And it's paid off. I didn't know what it was going to happen.
Starting point is 00:41:03 I just said, it's COVID. And you know who I was listening to? Damon Dash. No, Damon Dash? Yeah. Producer. I was watching him on his live on time. I was like, what the fuck I'm going to do it during COVID?
Starting point is 00:41:13 And he was talking his shit. You know, Dave Dash was like, yo, you know what I'm going to do? He's like, this is time where artists, all artists, you should be doing shit. You should be fucking creating, man. Because nobody's doing anything. anything. If you ain't an artist doing something on these fucking social media, you're a fucking dumbass. And I said, he's right. And I just took it and started, I started doing sketches with like King Batch and all these big creators and shit, these social media creators.
Starting point is 00:41:40 I just said, let me get out of my own way and just do it with these guys and fuck it. And it worked. It fucking worked. You got to get out of your own ego, man. You got to get, if things aren't happening because I wasn't. We didn't get better. What? You didn't get better. No, I was like, don't get better, get better. So that's from Wallo. Wallo and you didn't take a break for two years either. No, foot on the gas. I took no breaks.
Starting point is 00:42:03 I was doing the virtual comedy with Ben Glebe and those guys. I was doing Nowherecom. Jesus. I was doing gigs in nursing homes. And, you know, I had COVID at the time, but I don't give a fuck. I was doing parking lots where they honked the horn. But the Nowhere Comedy Cup, the digital, I made money all. off that shit.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Damn. You could, because you could book. Yeah, the seating is, is unlimited because it's fucking. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:42:31 So it's horrible. Right, right. It's like, but you have your little laptop, you hear people going, ha, ha, ha. And you,
Starting point is 00:42:39 and you, and. I saw one guy put a gun in his mouth during one of my jokes. I was like, don't do it. I didn't want with Jeffrey Toobin. It was crazy. So it was,
Starting point is 00:42:47 yeah, so that worked. It worked, the money. I was getting some money, you know, every couple weeks. You get like a couple thousand dollars.
Starting point is 00:42:55 You're going to work on a fucking laptop, though. You're going to work in your shorts on a fake mic on you. And you put a fucking dumb sheet to make it. It's just, it was embarrassing. But I was, hey, I was getting some money from that. I was surviving. It was something. And then just, yeah, doing.
Starting point is 00:43:12 So this is what it's come to. So I'm glad I did it. You know, I'm saying. Had to do it. I mean, I remember doing those parking lot shows. Cars would honk as a laugh. And if you really killed, you got the wipers. Yeah, it was funny
Starting point is 00:43:25 Because they The car that had at the radio station It was like a drive-in Exactly They connected the sound Exactly And it was like Yeah, yeah-g-g-g-gah
Starting point is 00:43:31 If it didn't look like It sounded like a traffic jam You were bombing Yeah A dystopian end of a movie Before you commit suicide It's so sad This is my fucking job now
Starting point is 00:43:41 Well we created We were doing rooftops Right Where you were doing a rooftop Or the truck with Michael Che Oh I did that Yeah That was fun
Starting point is 00:43:48 That show in L.A Too in the back of the truck We were survived Man we did our thing My cockroach I did. We are cockroaches. When I did fucking Las Vegas
Starting point is 00:43:56 laugh factory, you talk about weird shit, I met Rich Little. Jesus Christ. Rich Little was doing a show. We were doing COVID shows. This is Gary Little. There was only 25. You could only do 25 people in the room.
Starting point is 00:44:13 So it's 25 people six feet away. 25 people, 800 Cedar. Great idea. No, yeah, yeah, like a 300. 25 people, six feet away. it was the weirdest shit and Vegas was shut down It was the barely lights on
Starting point is 00:44:28 Vegas hasn't come really come back No it was some of it is online It was desolate bro It was like and I was doing And Rich Little show was before mine I go Are you fucking kidding to me Rich Little? He goes yeah
Starting point is 00:44:39 You want to go see? I go yeah I go see him he's 82 I go and he's still doing Carson And like Reagan Will Hey told him I was like he's doing old shit Lauren's like you got SNL
Starting point is 00:44:49 That's a good Carson right there And then I met him Because I had to, you know, you got to go and change, like, you know, whatever. When, you know, when you come in, that person leaves and you get the green room, he took a picture of me. I never, I grew up on Rich Little. Sure. And I met him. He, how many presidents has he done?
Starting point is 00:45:05 Oh, my God. Yeah. He's not a million cars. He was very nice. He's, but he was still, like, I talk, he was still, like, concerned about how he did. Oh. And he was like, he's talking to his manager. That's great.
Starting point is 00:45:16 We got to sharpen up the, we got to sharpen up the, the, the Reagan. I didn't really like the, still. He was still in that mode, though. I love that. Linden B. Johnson back. My A. Blankin. My A. Blankin. No matter how long, like, you're doing comedy, if you take a little time off or in that case, pandemic is like you're taking a, almost like a year off.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Not really getting up. You just feel the knee like how might, like you feel awkward. It was really tripped out. So him, though, somebody that old just coming, like doing it here and there, I can only feel like you're not doing well no matter what because you're feeling like you're yourself. Yeah. Even if you have a regular. All his friends are gone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:54 Pretty much gone. Yeah. Unless he calls Dick Van Dyke. If you're that old during COVID, doing stand up, be like, oh, this is like a health risk, maybe. Right. Yeah, true. Maybe it's his suicide. Fuck it.
Starting point is 00:46:07 I'm going all out. He died on stage. No, he actually died. Yeah. Mike dropped for real. I always wanted to ask you about Zoolander. Oh, yeah. How did that happen?
Starting point is 00:46:19 Oh, I tell you. Was that around the SNL time? You nailed that. I don't, that was during, that was during 9-11. So, you know, what's funny is, yeah, that's why I remember the times. I was like, the towers and Godfrey did a cameo. Well, COVID, I audition for the movie. And I did audition for Ben Stiller.
Starting point is 00:46:41 I was, it was somewhere. How fucking were we? Ben Stiller was in the room. And I was like, he wanted me to play one of the models that was at the gas station. Oh, it's a host. The models at the gas station, right? Yeah, which one are you? Here I am.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Right here. There you are. Oh, shit. Yeah, so I have to imitate his voice. Now, can we play it or is it going to be a... No, I think it's... I feel really bad at good-looking people like us. Made you grow up and feel bad about yourself.
Starting point is 00:47:14 Wow. You know, you could have fucked his wife probably. So, so, yeah, I did the pause. I did the little face. That was improvved. He just blue steel. He's my improv that. I was like...
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Starting point is 00:51:52 disclosures at acorns.com slash wmbd who who who who who who acorn so i went in and i was supposed my um the models that are at the gas station doing that goofy shit so i came in as a model and and i did some weird because i knew model dudes and shit so i was doing some weird weird model dumb shit i don't remember the scene and then I left and he goes oh thanks a lot boom and they were like hey man my agent's like still like you a lot you want you to come back I was like oh cool and so I go back like two days later and he goes man you were man I really liked what you did man you were so fucking funny on the the model thing but you were too funny you're too funny to be a model models are not that funny but I have something else for you can you
Starting point is 00:52:43 imitate me like the Zoolander voice. I say, yeah. And he goes yeah, I'm going to give you that. So because I'm going to change into a black dude. We're trying to break into balls modeling. So he's an Indian guy. Owen Wilson turns into the Indian man. And you turn, so can you do me? I go, yeah, I can do you. And he started talking. I did exactly
Starting point is 00:52:59 what he did. He goes, okay, I'll see you next week. And so and then I said, oh, but first I have a friend named Judah Friedlander who's been in your movies like Meet the Fock. He's always in your movies. Do you have a part for him? Whoa. And that's how got in. He plays Vince Vaughn's. You asked for,
Starting point is 00:53:14 you asked for Judah to be in? Yeah, he's in that. Yeah, yeah, he's a brother. He's a brother. He's a brother. He's a brother. He's a brother. He's a brother. He's doing it. In the beginning. Wow. You think you're better than us? Oh, shit. I forgot about that. So I asked, I said, yeah. I said, hey, do you have a part for, do you have a part for Judah?
Starting point is 00:53:33 I like do with that shit. That's amazing. I like, I like, I like, and Judah was great to meet the parents. Yeah, yeah, he was great in that movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got mom. He's also a movie with Paul Giamati. That's the American Splendor. Amazing movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:47 He's great in it. He's great. And so I asked, yeah, do you have, Judah, he goes, oh, you know what? I said, yeah, I should see if you got a part for him. Holy. That's a heat check. And he goes, Judy, Judy goes, dude, thanks a lot, man. Yo, Ben Stiller just called me, man.
Starting point is 00:54:07 He's going to be, we're going to be, I'm going to be in the movie with you, bro. Damn. So Judah got in, because I was always around, I was always around Judah a lot. I did that in Joker. I was like, this is a guy, Joaquin Phoenix. You should look at him. He's not a big deal. And you know, his brother's a psychologist.
Starting point is 00:54:24 His brother's a psychologist. He's, he's see his brother looks just like him, but no beard. But he's a therapist. He's going to hang out with us. My therapist showed up. It was Judah. He wears a mask now on stage. Judah got a mask.
Starting point is 00:54:38 I'm like, come on, Judah, stop. Judah's so fucking funny. I love Judith. No, he's a killer comic. That black and white special was killer, that one they put out. Judah's amazing. And how to beat up anybody, his book? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:49 Just really goofy. He's just great. Very original. He's one of my favorites. And so, yeah, so after that, when the DVD came out, there's a, you know, there's a director's, like, commentary. Yeah. So Ben Stiller is talking about me and Judah saying that we were roommates.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Hey, those guys are roommates, you know. I love what they did. their roommate. So we were like, all right. We weren't roommates. But he hooked, I hooked, I'm glad he got in. That's the type of shit I do though. That's great.
Starting point is 00:55:19 And I go, hey, you got any other parts for people? We were talking about how because apparently they don't want callbacks and movies anymore. Like that's the thing that people can't pay attention. But Zoolander has a classic callback with Blue Steel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For attention now. They don't want, because people are on their phone just like, well, then you're just making a shittier movie. How sad is that?
Starting point is 00:55:38 That's why no one's going to see. these movies. That's why these comedies are trash. Trash. That's why people rather watch Golden Girls than a lot of this fuck shit that's on. Yeah. Because when you watch, when I watch all in the family, sometimes I'll watch old and I go, God damn, this was brilliant. Yeah. Carol O'Connor, the levels that he took bigotry to. I know. And you still liked them. You loved him. Yeah. That's just serious, serious fucking skills. Yeah. And he, in his interview, I watch a lot of old interviews. He goes, you know, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I I'm not really, I'm not like that.
Starting point is 00:56:12 I'm not that guy. But I'm glad people, but I wanted people to make sure they separated me from that because I'm not that. I'm not a bigot like that. Yeah, thank God. He was like, I'm actually that racist. That day when he goes, Jesus, he did it, the college you're coming again. What are you?
Starting point is 00:56:29 You can't say. It's cold. Oh, come on, idiots. You know, that just phenomenal. It's a brilliant show. That's one thing I think we've lost. Like, you know, people are like, oh, crowds are so sensitive. Oh, we need to bring that back.
Starting point is 00:56:39 We need to bring back the. idea that you can say something and not mean it. That's where people have lost. We've lost that. We need to bring back racial shit. Yes. Done smartly. Not hacky, because there's hacky racial shit. Of course. You ever see hacky, right? You go, can you, even though it's like, I know it's racist, but
Starting point is 00:56:54 can you do it better? Can you update your race? It's like, it's like cheap violence. It's like, earn it, like, if you're going to do something racial, do it in a funny, like there's a Daniel Tosh joke that I love, and I did a lot of shows with Daniel Tosh. Love Tush. He don't talk to everybody. No. He talked to me, though.
Starting point is 00:57:10 Tosh doing the show, what happened with that? Tosh is awesome. He's a tough not to crack. What I look at, what I like about him, he's family guy, he just goes about his business. He always showed me, like, I always talk to him, you know? And he goes, something about those guys that don't talk to me, always talk to me. A tell, the tell would call me, and be like, he's like, I got a line for you. Got a line for my black friend.
Starting point is 00:57:37 He would give me punch, like punchups. Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. Tell a lot of shit like that for me. He's the man. You know what I mean? But it's nice when you get respected by these certain people. I don't ask for it.
Starting point is 00:57:48 I just, you know. But Tosh did a joke about black people, which is so great. He goes, he goes, you know, I'm going to tell you, black people, you guys, you guys are the most talented. You're fucking the best. You're smart. You're innovative. I mean, Jesus Christ, you guys are the trendsetters. The slavery thing, I don't know how we got away with that.
Starting point is 00:58:07 The slavery thing. How do we pull that? How did we put? So good. But that's how you do it. Right. That's how you do it. Like when Louis C.K.
Starting point is 00:58:16 does the, that's how you do it. Yeah, yeah. Louis's a bit about the, like, I'm not saying white people the best, but being white is clearly the best. That's a great Louis bit. How you do it, man. It's comedy. There's still a turn.
Starting point is 00:58:27 There's a punch. There's an honesty to it and it's not cheap. It's, right. It's honesty and it's real. Put the art in it, man. Yes. Put the art in it. We also feel that he honed that joke.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Like that didn't, maybe didn't. come out perfect. And he had to figure it out and you respect that. You figure it out because it's a tight fucking situation to be in. Sure. I do racial shit. Now you don't get a chance to figure it out. That's what I'm saying. We've lost that part. I got racial shit that I want to do about white, but I want to
Starting point is 00:58:54 make it creative. Yeah. I don't want to just go, wait, but, okay, okay, we got that. But motherfuckers are here for comedy. It's not fair that I can't be Malcolm X. No, you got to be Dick Gregory or Carl or something. You know what I mean? Craft the joke.
Starting point is 00:59:10 We get it. White people, all right. That would be a funny character, though. The comic with no punchlines. You're like this. And white folks ain't shit. Good night. Give it up for my man.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Mohammed. That would be funny. And I'm just saying, I'll fuck a white girl over revenge. Peace. Give it up for my man. Yeah. My man, the one, the militant one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Follow me on Instagram. Yeah, man. That's all I'll tell any comic, whether or why. Even Nick DePaulo is, as funny as fuck. So funny. Such great crafted jokes. I used to be in the audience laughing. He goes, I love it with Gawfrey's in the audience.
Starting point is 00:59:57 That damn boss. I would, because I would come down to watch, because he would get so angry, but he was still so funny. He's got one of my favorite Jew jokes of all time. He goes, I was in the class when I was trying to buy a car. I called a guy up. I said, hey, I want to buy your car. The guy goes, come over. And he goes, all right, I'm going to negotiate with this guy.
Starting point is 01:00:14 I'm going to really, you know, work him down. Guy answers his door, it's a Hasidic Jew. He goes, oh, I didn't know I was dealing with a black belt. That's funny. That's how you do it. You misdirect. Different words. That's how you fucking do it, man.
Starting point is 01:00:29 Matter what your mentality is, you do it. We get the intent. The intent is to make people laugh. Put the art there. Put the art there. Don't go. Oh, man, you're sensitive. No, you're not doing the joke right.
Starting point is 01:00:39 Yeah. Not about sense. Divby. Do it, craft it. Trick us. Nick had that joke about checking into a hotel. There was a shit in his toilet. And he called the front desk.
Starting point is 01:00:47 He goes, you know, most hotels leave a mint on your pillow. You guys are really going the extra mile here. That's fucking brilliant. He's a really great comedian. And I don't like when he gets, I hate when he goes so far. Yeah. When he goes a little far sometimes. I go, dude, you were hired by Chris Rock.
Starting point is 01:01:06 Yeah. Right. Right. You know, and I was one of your. favorite guys we taught it's like no i know why why like fuck because you know because you know he has it in him so when he goes lazy right when he just opens the set like kamala harris you fucking cuck you're like no that's not the joke yeah anybody can do that yeah anybody we know you have yeah i'm with you you're so good and you're so quick and i really and i'm a fan of nick de paolo it's
Starting point is 01:01:31 sad because i go he now he's in georgia i know i know and he's just i go that's not going to help things Yeah, and Nick, you don't, you look Arabic anyway. Relax, you're kind of swarthy. Yeah, he's a guinea. Yeah, you're very olive. Right, right. Very olive-complectic. Stay out of the sun.
Starting point is 01:01:48 You better have a parasol because they're going to figure you out. It's going to color my pants. Yeah. But it says, you know, I like, I like Nick. But just to the crowds, you want to let us get there. We'll get there. Let us get there. Because I think they hear buzzwords and stuff.
Starting point is 01:02:02 We all are responsible for that. Sure. We're comedians. And people of different races come and see me. So how am I going to do this clan joke? And, you know, how am I going to do it properly? Right. You know? And I say, I say, well, I think the clan, you guys got to get better uniforms. Jesus. Are you serious? Really? A sheet? Can we go couture? I was like, I wish KKK was black. You need a gay guy. Part of it also is the crowds have gotten there. I mean, in Manhattan, they're younger.
Starting point is 01:02:29 I mean, I think we've gotten older, I guess. But also it's like they're a little younger. They're experiencing comedy for the first time. Yeah. But here's the thing, though. too, well, comedy is an older person's sport. Because when you ever do a college and then there's a kid that's from the college who's going to open up for you and they don't relate because they don't have enough experience, you have to have done that already and then you bring it back because I'm a college grad. So I know about college. So when I do college shit, they go, fuck yeah, because I know it already.
Starting point is 01:02:57 It's a weird thing. Comedy is a thing where, to me, comedy is a thing where you have to know something first, then you come back and tell it. You know what I mean? Because people your age don't, they don't respect you. They're not respecting your authority. First of all, they're just like, you know, your friend's like, yeah, my friend, he's a friend, he's starting to do comedy.
Starting point is 01:03:15 Right. And your friends are like, yeah, Brett. Woo! Yeah. It's like you're 20 and then your friends are 20 in the crowd. There's no, there's no separation of authority. Right. There's no respect of the craft.
Starting point is 01:03:27 If you're like 30-something at a college, they're like, oh shit, this guy has something over. There's a respect. I'm telling you. It's like a. A dog, audiences are like dogs, they can smell, it can smell, and it can dominate you. I remember watching Louis back, like, this is, I guess this is pre, maybe even pretty lucky Louis. Yeah, he was, uh, what was before, what was first?
Starting point is 01:03:46 Lucky Louie. Lucky Louie. Yeah, Lucky Louie. And then, uh, you know, he's talking about his kids and stuff. And you're just like, you related, you didn't relate, but like you, this to me was the funniest thing ever. Right. Even though I didn't have kids.
Starting point is 01:03:56 This is what I'm saying. Comedy is a, is an art form of experience. Sure. And, and it doesn't matter how old you are. I see old, Ted, you know, um, um, I see. Oh, God damn it. Tim Reed? No, not Tim Reed.
Starting point is 01:04:08 Shit. Oh, God. It was Titting. He did a biracial comedy duo in the 70s. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm talking about. Oh, God. Tom Dresen from Chicago.
Starting point is 01:04:19 Yeah. I grew up watching Tom Driesen on commercials in Chicago. Oh, wow. So Tom Driesen. I've been in biracial. Be careful there, buddy. No, no, by. They were the first.
Starting point is 01:04:27 It was Tim and Tom. They were to stay in the 70s. Oh, really? See them? I never heard of him. Tim Reed from a WKRP. Uh-huh. Tim Reed and they were the first, like, biracial.
Starting point is 01:04:38 He told, I sit with him all the time. Because he's from Chicago and he raised money for his, I think his sister passed away from this disease. So he had this big, big, big, um, a benefit fundraiser in Chicago. So we knew him for that. Oh, that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was on sitcoms.
Starting point is 01:04:54 He's 80-something years old now. Wow. Yeah, he came to my show in Virginia with his wife who played the second Aunt Viv on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So Tim Reed is great. He came in Saltwomen. watch my show.
Starting point is 01:05:06 And so Tom Driesen does comedy at the laugh. Open for Sinatra forever. And he's funny. But his jokes are well written. It's still funny. Yeah. But he's what, 80 maybe? Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:20 But why are we still laughing? Because it's a, it's it. Comedy is a is a, is an experience thing. You have to have a little more information than the people. You know what I mean? Or as much information. That's all. about because if you have information about being a teenager, you're going to fucking make them laugh.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Right. Because they go, yeah, because it happened to me already. Exactly. I did a college once. I was talking about a shitty job I had it. They never had jobs. So I was eating shit. Then I had to be like, that guy's a virgin.
Starting point is 01:05:49 Then they're like, ah! That was my, like, ripcourt. Right. So that's where I think it comes from. You're from Nebraska originally, right? I was born in Nebraska. We were just in Omaha. I was, I think, I think, did that.
Starting point is 01:06:02 Right? I was born in Lincoln, Nebraska. pushed your black ass out of it. My parents left. But Nigeria to Nebraska. Damn. That's great. My father.
Starting point is 01:06:13 Had you end up there, though? Connect flight, probably. My father was, my father was, my father was, my father was at a teacher, an educator teacher school, Dana College, which was outside of Lincoln. My father was there at, and my father used always telling me about Dana College. I said, Dana College. I was like, University of Nebraska, Coronas, what are you talking about? He's like, no, I went to a school, Dana College, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 01:06:40 I said, and then one day I finally did Omaha Funny Bone, funny bone, and great club. Right, and I never been in Nebraska. This was like three, four years ago. Wow. And I'm like, okay. And so I was like, oh shit, so I'm on stage having fun. And I go, you guys heard about Dana College?
Starting point is 01:06:55 Dana College. I was like, oh, shit, I thought it was bullshit. It's like, no, it's kind of defunct and it turned into Midwestern University. And I don't think they use the campus anymore. My father, this is late 60s, early 70s, dude. So I was like, so I go, and this dude goes, hey, man, I could take you to that place where your father went to school.
Starting point is 01:07:16 I could take you if you want to go. I go, yeah. So he fucking takes me. It's like a good, almost two hours. Like, Field of dreams. Build it. And they will come. And just to, oh, you got, oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:07:28 Dana, fuck, that's where my dad went. And what's really fucking crazy, oh shit. There it is. And the fact that my father coming straight from Nigeria to this fucking bumble fuck town. And imagine. Crazy. So I wouldn't be here doing a podcast or stand-up comedy if my dad didn't do this shit. I really look at it going, it fucked me up.
Starting point is 01:07:52 I go, my father came. He had a job. He had a job in Omaha, you know, washing dishes and shit to pay for school. like he would tell me the stories like I'd be so tired driving from Omaha and Lincoln you know and you're the only like black family and his next door neighbors were from India
Starting point is 01:08:09 so they were like the immigrants Oh shit. So This is your sitcom Yeah right I wouldn't be here It's like my father They were
Starting point is 01:08:17 It's like me to do a cornrose That's the title That's a good one And by the way by You're writing it? No And also my parents left from Civil War
Starting point is 01:08:28 They were trying to murder my parents' tribe. So it was called Biafra war. It's very famous. Even my old manager knew about the Biafra war. My old manager was one of the smartest men I ever met my life. Well read. He was like, yeah, Biafra war, he explained the whole thing. A little Jewish man explains the whole thing.
Starting point is 01:08:47 I go, damn. He goes to the Ebo tribe, which I am, Ebo tribe. And Eboes are also Jewish, too, by the way, just to let you in West Africa. So they have Yarmacas and they go, hello, my friend. Oh, yeah. We hire other people to fight the wars. So we are brothers, brother. That's a lot of foreskin.
Starting point is 01:09:09 So, yeah, they came from war. They were, you know, and my parents, they made it. And then Chicago, I don't know anything about Nebraska. My brother's born in Chicago, me, my sister's born in Nigeria. So it was one of those things. Very immigrity. Hell yeah. And I would not be here doing any of this shit if it weren't for them.
Starting point is 01:09:27 Yeah. Damn. Why did he pick Nebraska? Just to school because he had a scholarship. Oh, right. Like he had a scholarship. My father was an educator in Chicago for 45 years. Wow. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:38 My mother was an OB-guining nurse. She met in Nigeria. Wow. Yeah, man. Was he? Let's hear your life story. Talk that. Well, my dad.
Starting point is 01:09:49 Black Panther. Then I became Tachala. Go ahead. It's unbelievable. No, I can't stop that. You can't? I wish I could. Gary's dad was a con man.
Starting point is 01:10:02 Yeah, it was an interesting stuff. Yeah, yeah, it was a legit con man, yeah. Yeah. So he got a real comic? You were a real comic? Yeah, no, he opened up. He was a con man, really? Yeah, he opened up this college called Dana College.
Starting point is 01:10:14 Yeah. People are from the Lego tribe. So wait, wait, wait, was he really a con man? Yeah, everything he did was just a con. So he had different businesses that, you had. You were all like fake businesses or businesses that he could just, like, extort money from. That's awesome. So one was like a pay phone business, Gary Viter.
Starting point is 01:10:35 World's greatest dad. Was he on American greed? Number one dad. Was he ever on American greed? No, never on that. You know Stacy Keach, right? Oh, yeah, the host. Next on American Grew.
Starting point is 01:10:44 My dad stayed off the radar, but we did, like, I did scams with him as well. Like Michael George? Yeah, I met Michael Jordan. He met everybody. That's him with him. We did an old scam that we ran together where he said that it worked for Sports Illustrated for kids. Really? Yeah, I went to the garden free for like four years straight.
Starting point is 01:11:01 That is amazing. Who does it mean? Lemieux? Gretsky? Met Lemieux? I didn't mean Greetsky, but Elway? Oh, fucking bad. Look at that pick with Jordan. You met Michael Jordan. Yeah, interviewed Michael Jordan. He thought I went to on the street for kids.
Starting point is 01:11:16 Richard Geer. He's double nickel gear. He stuck the gerbil up your ass. Yeah, yeah, that's real close. That's my dad. That's my dad. Where's your dad? So we didn't talk for 24 years. in a spot where's your dad right there was you premium oh that's your father
Starting point is 01:11:32 yeah we didn't talk for 24 years didn't he I didn't 20 you got to meet Jordan how you're not gonna talk to him because he was a bad guy my dad my dad my dad oh how did I talk to my dad yeah what was there my dad was just full of shit all the time really mom broke up but you got to see yeah the classic brook call yo brocall you don't worry he never pronounced his L's let's hear it oh well he's oh Tom broke all oh yeah he's all kind of gargled his L
Starting point is 01:11:56 He had a speech impediment. You are, you are, you, you notice things as an impression. That's what I'm doing by Sam Elliott. That's good. I play the same rules all the time. One good thing about the Trump administration, you get the impressions. You get the, and guess what? You know, they have a White House account, right?
Starting point is 01:12:17 So they, they're talking about locking the borders. So there's a scene in Soulplane where I lock this, our door, it's a ghetto-ass airplane. So I have all these locks on the pocket door. They used it as a meme on the White House account. Shut up. And at the end I go, this motherfucker is locked. And they have it for their border. Holy hell.
Starting point is 01:12:42 But we don't realize they're using a son of an immigrant. They're like, they don't realize what this old man guy. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Can you believe it? I love So Plain. What a great house is a great house. I love a show plain.
Starting point is 01:12:53 I love a nice little poll. A nice little strip pole from Malania. That's where I met it, I think. That's where I met it. You had a young Kevin Harton, that. Yeah, Kevin, Method Man, Tom Arnold. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:07 We had a bunch of motherfuckers on there, Monique. There you go. We had Lonnie Love. Oh, wow. D.L. Hugley, John Wetherspoon. Jesus Christ. He was action-packed. It should be so plain, too.
Starting point is 01:13:19 I think we should do another one just for shit to give him. John Wetherspoon, man. Was he the man? He was awesome. He was a good dude. His son, John Witherspoon Jr. He can do it,
Starting point is 01:13:29 you know, is a comic. No, I didn't know that. And it doesn't look like him at all. But he's also, that's David Letterman's godson.
Starting point is 01:13:36 What? That's his, he's called. Oh, is that me and Dr. Yeah, that's his call. Oh,
Starting point is 01:13:42 that's at 65 million. Oh. Still rising. What, the Dr. Dre? The Dr. Dre video I did at his house. Damn,
Starting point is 01:13:49 65 million. Yeah. These guys are only at 6 million. But at the Holocaust. Nice. That was a stretch. Six million doggy fresh. You're on.
Starting point is 01:14:00 If it takes you a second to get it, it's a Jew joke. Just take the jump. Yeah, because you've got to think about laughing first. Well, hey, it's a slow burn. You got to make sure who's around. That's another. Yeah, see? Oh, that's, see, that's comedy.
Starting point is 01:14:16 That's like a Zucker joke. This motherfucker. Yeah, yeah. It's for the White House shit. Damn. That's badass. They gotta get residuals for that. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:14:30 That's like a, I'm a meme now. That happened to Theo Vaughn apparently. The deal. Because didn't he do like a get the fuck out to a guy. You're getting deported. And they used it. No, no, he tweeted at him. Well, he does it with bands too.
Starting point is 01:14:43 He'll use a band to come out and the band's like, no, fuck you. I don't like you. Yeah, but how do you sue America? What do you even like, how do you even say about that? He can't sue trial. He's the sue king. But he has, he did 50. He sent to many men.
Starting point is 01:14:57 Wish death on me. That song does go pretty hard. He comes out, they do wish death. I love 50. 50, Chen. I think he's great. 50's like, you gotta stop doing it.
Starting point is 01:15:09 He's like, that's my opener. 50's like, yo, it's a business, you know? I think Finney is a truck guy. No, I think he said he had to pay him to use it, though. Oh, all right. I think it's money for 50. I don't think it's like his philosophy. I think it's just tax certain.
Starting point is 01:15:24 Yeah, man. Get on. All this stuff. I mean, here's the, Yeah, you got, Bill Vaughn. Put in the Deporte, the ICE video. Oh, they took it down.
Starting point is 01:15:34 That was nice. Oh, they took it down. Good. All this stuff. Eminem suing meta. It's like 200 million for using his music in reels. Oh.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Oh, wow. Yeah, so, but I mean, I don't know where it stands. Good. He's like Zuckerberg, no. Don't touch my shit. I hate meta. It's like, people dub our comedy, too.
Starting point is 01:15:53 All the time. But no one gives the fuck about that. Eminem might, he might, you know. Might have a chance. Spotify. Once Spotify happened, though, it's like. They got, they ruined a lot of artists' lives, man. Now everybody's dusting off their shoes.
Starting point is 01:16:06 They have to do live shit now. Yeah, but then look what happened when live shit. Live Nation comes in and they're fucking on tickets. And like, and now what's even crazier is when you buy tickets for something, it'll say like, it'll be like a $50 ticket and it says $90 up front. So it used to be $50 and the fees came, but now you're trying to sell tickets and they're like, I'm not paying fucking $9. There's going to be fees on top.
Starting point is 01:16:26 Yeah. Then they yell at you. Like we did it. Dude, these are, it's not, it's, oh my God, I'm doing clubs again right now just to warm up for this special. And it's so easy to sell tickets and clubs. Yeah. Because you're not dealing with all the bullshit.
Starting point is 01:16:37 Oh, good point. The theaters, you just don't. They jack up the fucking prices. I thought the theater shit was cool. Man, fuck that house nut. I was like, what the fuck is a house nut? You got to pay a house fee. Then you got to pay this fucking, what is it?
Starting point is 01:16:52 The union motherfucker. Oh. Those guys. I didn't know there were so many feet. I was like, what in the fuck this, man? You have to do two shows just to make a profit. Let me get to the Chucklehut. Fuck you.
Starting point is 01:17:02 Yeah. But even though you got to do a couple more shows, you get all the money, man. And the reps. I like doing the reps. I like doing the reps. See, the reps are so, people are so caught up in one and out. I go, you need to do. You got to run that hour, man.
Starting point is 01:17:17 Run it a lot of times. And I've got endless energy, though. You are fucking, you're like legendary for that, I feel like. That's eBay. Look at this guy. He's tired just sitting here. I know. I enjoy, because you know why, you all are guys very prolific.
Starting point is 01:17:31 You're always writing new shit. You guys are very prolific. I am always doing new shit. You got to. I'm not, I don't, I don't, I'm not strangled by a fucking act. I don't have, like, one act I do all the time because I'd smash myself in the head. Sure. But I have so much shit that I'll mix it up.
Starting point is 01:17:47 Even I'll pull an old one out. It depends on the crowd. But I enjoy going, oh, I got all this other shit. I can't wait to do it. Do you ever forget, like, two shows in the same night that you did something on that show that you're not like. Sometimes, but I'll try to kind of, you know, I'll go, okay, I'll kind of make this thematic a little. Go, I'll talk about this shit. Women and blah, damn it, I'll do that.
Starting point is 01:18:09 And this is the other one I'll do about the, you know, technology. And then it's sort of so I can kind of not go, did I say it already? Right. You know what I mean? Because it can get that way. Well, I do clubs all the time now. And I go, who was here? You know, who's just here?
Starting point is 01:18:22 And they go, we had God for here. He did five shows, different hour every show. Which is insane. It's insane. Yeah, I just... And the staff enjoys it. Yeah. Oh, no, but you know what?
Starting point is 01:18:32 Yeah, exactly. You're a set for the fifth time in a row. By the end of the weekend, the mouth and his punch lines. I know. But the staff will tell me, they go, oh, we're, like, we, every time you come, we always, all the staff comes out and sees you and watches you because he goes, is he going to do the same thing? No. I have people repeating.
Starting point is 01:18:47 They come back and do it. No, they'll come back for another show, go, you did the whole totally different. I go, I just for myself. It was okay That's not normal though I had a Michael Jordan moment Because I was like Because I saw somebody
Starting point is 01:18:59 Your dad was hit by a car No No my friend There was a guy One of these waiters And we were talking right You know how sometimes You know certain waiters you go
Starting point is 01:19:09 They go yo you're back What's up Yeah So he goes I saw I think I saw him Watching He was watching a comic
Starting point is 01:19:17 I came on a day before Before my show And he was watching A comic They had a one-nighter and he goes, this guy does the same fucking shit all the time. And he literally goes, mouthing, he was literally lip-sicking the guy. I was like, I don't ever want a motherfucker to have the privilege of doing that to me.
Starting point is 01:19:36 Right, right. So I motivated myself to go, all right, I'm going to try to do something new, all the goddamn. Yeah. Because I want people to go, fuck, I thought he was going to do that. It was just my own to make me work harder. Yes. I don't want the privilege of somebody saying, you know, he does the same. Unless like you're working your hours.
Starting point is 01:19:53 or special that's different. Sure, sure. Even when I have to do that, I hate it. I want to just go, I want to do something new, but I have to do it. Yeah. But I don't want to, it's just my own way to keep me making new stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:05 My own little, you know how Jordan would take something personal? Oh, I don't like the way he stepped on my shoes, man. All right, I'm going to score 50. Right. Or he goes, I don't like the way he shook my hand. All right. I'm a dunk on this bitch. You know, I do my own little to get me to, oh, let me flip.
Starting point is 01:20:20 Yeah. I'll do the opposite. I'll be like, I'm going to do a new bin, and then I just push you out. Yeah, you can't, though. I mean, you do, there's only so much, like, I mean, you know, I feel the way I can't do. You bookend it. You book in. Yeah, I can only do so much new.
Starting point is 01:20:32 You got to go in. You got to just fucking take that shit. Learn the, how long have you been doing, Kong? Two years. No. 18 years. Oh, you should have said two. I just scared at 18 years.
Starting point is 01:20:45 I'm scared. I'm scared. I'll say a new bit. I'm afraid. I don't know what he's going to do. It's only so much new I can. I'm so tired of you. I don't have to do.
Starting point is 01:20:54 I didn't invent ice hockey. Another thing about those theaters is they charge for merch. Oh, yeah, they take a percentage. 20%. I had to ship it here and to sell. They made it so we have to tour endlessly, and I don't mind it. I like it. But then taking a piece of every fucking shirt.
Starting point is 01:21:16 Maybe if you're making so much money where you're not noticing the take, but that shit annoys it annoys. me. I was like, people are doing theaters because of the prestige. I get it. But fuck that. You're at the whatever funny bone and you're making, yo, dough. You just added a couple of shows but you're making your money, man. And you're
Starting point is 01:21:34 getting the reps in. You need those reps. You need them. Fuck that. You need that. You really need those reps, man. Boxing and comedy are parallel. You've got to hit the bag. You got to. You have to. You will fuck up. Like, you ever see when Tyson's... We all brain damage? Yeah, you'd be like this.
Starting point is 01:21:51 The problem is, yeah. It's the truth. Little, little things count. The little things in comedy count. The little shit affects it. It's weird. It's really, it's one of those art forms that you can't skip steps. You can't.
Starting point is 01:22:07 Well, I think anybody, if you're on a theater run, you did want to, if you can't, like, run it a little bit in a club before as much as possible. Always, always do it in a more intimate. A lot of these theater acts, they're like just starting like, oh, here's the hour. Now there's, they're putting in the theater. But you see it, though. Completely. It's hard to work out in a theater. It is.
Starting point is 01:22:23 You cannot hide. Comedy will show your ass, man. If you fake, you can't fake it. They go, I was okay. Yeah. It was okay. Right. But you see a guy like a tell do 30s to go,
Starting point is 01:22:36 hot cross buns and you're fucking dying laughing. I know. Because he's always on stage. And he's got a bit about the ice shooting. He's got a bit about Maduro. He's got a bit about that. He's like, how does he have all his new shit? Because he's with me at one in the morning.
Starting point is 01:22:51 He's always there on stage. Yeah. And you don't, it doesn't miss you. He's doing the war. You have to. It's unfortunate. Yeah. Comedy doesn't let you hide.
Starting point is 01:23:01 No, he said that mic will be right back. This is the funny lever. All those nuances happened. Of course. On the stage, you got to, it doesn't come with, I'm just going to do it. Comedy will always knock you to fuck back down. When you got to do a new hour, look how you got to go and work it again. That's the respect you have.
Starting point is 01:23:22 You can't just go, I got a new hour. Let me just go. Nope, you're like, let me go, go small, then go big. It's like fighters, when they go to, when they're in Vegas, they do the big fights. But guess where they got to go? They got to show up at Wild Card, Jim. You know Wild Card? Wildcard is Freddie Roaches.
Starting point is 01:23:40 Reddy Roaches who trained Paci-Oil and all those guys. Way better than Freddie Roman's, Jim. Ready, Robbins. Hey! Is that a punch? but I would go there with Adam Hunter Oh I don't have Adam You know Adam's MMA and shit
Starting point is 01:23:54 Yeah Oh wow Adam kicked motherfuckers asses Adam beat up one of these comments I'm not going to say his name But Adam fucked the comic up Real nice It was Josh Blue
Starting point is 01:24:04 He was normal before Josh blocked a couple And Brad Williams But yeah There was some comic that kind of like Was accusing Adam of stealing Adam is so his own kind of comic He don't steal
Starting point is 01:24:18 He has these one-liners. He doesn't steal anybody's shit. And the dude, like, literally socked him at the ha-ha club in L.A. Like, punched him. Like, Adam had his laptop with him, and the guy clocked him, like, snuck him one. And Adam, like, just put him in a fucking jujitsu. Boom, boom. Called me.
Starting point is 01:24:41 Say, yeah, I go, what's up? He called me. He said, yeah, I just finished fucking up, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So what happened? He said, so I. I put him out, almost choked him out, choked him out, beat the shit out.
Starting point is 01:24:51 I murdered him. I got to stay with you for a few weeks. He goes, I didn't know he couldn't fight. He's a comedian. I didn't know he didn't, because Adam's always trained. He was an all-state wrestler in Massachusetts. Oh, boy. Freestyle wrestling.
Starting point is 01:25:05 Oh, scary. And Adam is like, oh, Jewish boy, but he gets down. Too bad. He didn't host the Oscars. How great with Adam. It will Smith? Not so fresh now, huh? Hand cock sucked
Starting point is 01:25:19 Get your hand out of my mouth Yeah man So fuck what I was I talking about But anyway Adam Hunter Yeah the boxing Oh boxing But yeah when you go to see
Starting point is 01:25:31 When I would go to Wildcard You see Matthew McConaughey Doing boxing Oh yeah you see a lot of people But it was a small little Humble Gym over a laundromat But all the greatest boxers Come and work
Starting point is 01:25:42 I would watch Pacquiao like Damn Their mat time is our stage time Right They never show up as out of shape as we do with a new hour. What you say? They never show up as out of shape for fighting as we do with a new hour. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 01:25:55 No, but when you, it's like, I love to do the lounge. Yeah, that black. Comedy is an intimate art form. We do the big shit, so we, the revenue-wise, but we like that small shit. We like it. Oh, love it. Revenue-wise, fuck, no. Let me go do, let me go do Mars.
Starting point is 01:26:14 I'm going to be, let me go do this stadium. It sucks doing those. It's just for the revenue. Sure. But as far as the art, it suffers. It does. I wish, I mean, if you could do it, you do it. But it suffers, though.
Starting point is 01:26:29 Yeah, I agree. But when you're doing a small, it's the greatest shit. It's like jazz players don't want to do big-ass fucking, you know, festivals. They want to play in a small. Yeah. But money-wise, yeah, but I don't want to take out the integrity of the art. You have to go small. And when you're staring, you can kill in a theater because there's so many people, like,
Starting point is 01:26:46 But then when you're staring at people at a funny bone and they're four feet away, you're like, this isn't hitting. Because in a theater, you get that big pop, so you feel like you're killing. But you've got those people right on your toes. You're like, I'm kind of bombing here. Also, an arena, it's like, I mean, like, not to this is like first world problems. But if you do
Starting point is 01:27:02 a few, they're all the same, really. It's right. You're all kind of, like, then nothing's like that different. No, I play small. Because when you do enough clubs, you play like you're in a club, except you're aware that there's more people, but you don't really worry about that you still worry about
Starting point is 01:27:17 like here you play small still kind of you know what I mean because you already know it's rafters all right fuck them if it hits it hits it'll flow that's that's the psychology I have when's your new special coming out oh oh you're a new one
Starting point is 01:27:33 what? January 14th in theaters nationwide shut up I'm not lying theaters you're doing the prior shit it's called it's called it's called Rebel with a Cause and we my producer got it in theaters
Starting point is 01:27:47 what listen it's amc alamo draft house uh synopolis cinemark and movie grill and we've sold a really good amount of surprise this is great it was 50 000 I met 40 something thousand
Starting point is 01:28:04 holy moly I never did this before because I didn't get approached by Netflix wow that is crazy that's crazy well you know they'll come eventually which is sad funny is I know the people there. That's weird.
Starting point is 01:28:17 But it's Rebel with the Cause and it's in AMC and we're doing a, tonight we're doing a private little screening, red carpet thing we're doing, you know, at the AMC on 42nd Street. And yeah, man. And, yeah. You filmed it at the Apollo? At the Apollo, G. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:38 That's killer. Wow. I raised the money myself. Wow. The help of Will I am from a black guy. P's. Oh, yeah. And I had another dude, some Capital Ventures guy. He was just a fan and he gave me money for it too. You know what I mean? Yeah. Looks awesome. Which was, which was, which was fantastic. And yeah, and go fund me. My fans are like, why don't you raise money, man? Fuck that, man. I can't wait. We could send you money. And then Dante set it up. And I had money from there, money from there. Well, I am just goes, dude, I want to give you some money.
Starting point is 01:29:15 Oh, this is going to blow you up. I can tell. I can feel it. And I'm going to go to the theater just to get you back. I'm going to talk. And you have four more hours. You have four more hours.
Starting point is 01:29:26 And so every, every cinema's a different hour. There's a seven o'clock. That's insane that Netflix doesn't like, that's your following is huge. That's crazy. Man, dude, that's kind of story of my, and it's not an old poor me.
Starting point is 01:29:41 Story of my kind of life. Is it eventually going to end up on YouTube or something? Or something. But right now, because 800-pound gorilla's like, we want to, we're not even doing that. It's just theater release. I was like, what? Because here's the thing. The fact that the theaters aren't really.
Starting point is 01:29:59 What they used to be? Right. So guess what? They need content, man. Oh. My producer, for Nago, I go, what? Theaters? He goes, yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:07 It's not as hard as you think because they're like really struggling for good content. Yeah. So, yeah, I was able to read. And they even increase it. It was 200 now. It's 400-something theaters. Wow. So, yeah, we got it for this day. And if it does, well, we'll just keep it, we'll keep it flowing.
Starting point is 01:30:23 But from there, we're going to strategize. So we're doing it differently. It's just like Ali Sadiq and his YouTube. He's killing it. I'm very impressed. I mean, what, Ari Shafir's Jew went to kill. Oh, yeah. And the numbers.
Starting point is 01:30:38 Nice to see Jew and millions together, and it's not a bad thing. There you go. And, you know, the numbers. on YouTube are killing all the other Netflix. Oh, 100%. Like the stats are there. It's just that it's the labeling
Starting point is 01:30:54 Netflix, but a lot of times people's specials are just floating. Now let's say after this goes theaters, it does well, let's say Netflix goes, we keep hearing about this special, we'd like it, but the number is low. Would you go with it or would you go, fuck you? I want a lot of money. Yeah, I'd be like, can I get this depending?
Starting point is 01:31:11 Okay. Let me get, yeah, fuck that. You ignored me anyway. Right. Yeah, good point. Because I heard they're not really giving out a lot. No, they're not. So, hey, man, my, I don't know what you guys is following out.
Starting point is 01:31:25 My following is pretty good. I mean, I'm two and a half mill. Whoa. That's crazy. It's legitimate. You're killing them, and you built it yourself. I built it myself. And they cut my other account.
Starting point is 01:31:36 They shut my own. Oh, really? Why? I had to rebuild it. Dan, just for being offensive? What is offensive now? I don't know. They block guns flags.
Starting point is 01:31:46 Yeah, I had weird, like, if I was like, what that wasn't, I could have, you fucking bitchy, it was weird stuff. Like, I was like, what? And then you try to appeal it, they don't answer. Yes, yes. That's what's scary is that, yeah, you're, you know, say you don't go the Netflix route, is that you could just get shut down somehow and that's out of your control. Yeah, it's like, it's scary.
Starting point is 01:32:05 Obviously, everything, you know, it's a lot. The one thing Netflix has, other than like the prestige is that you can just say whatever. Yeah, they're open. That's the one thing. So, but. If you're not getting that, you go, I'm going to, we do it our own way, you know. And Shaq, I had people give me like shoutouts. Shack gave me shout out.
Starting point is 01:32:24 ASAP Rocky is a big fan of my. What the fuck. ASAP. You can go to my Instagram and watch my ASAP. I didn't show you any of this. No, no. You haven't been here in a minute, but I feel like I was here. I was just, okay, that's, that's, okay, that's ASAP.
Starting point is 01:32:40 Watch. Turn that up. Damn, there's a lot of comments. We're at Swingers in L.A. Oh, okay. It's three in the morning. Whoa. Wow.
Starting point is 01:33:12 So I hung out with him to me, man shines in and all that. I'm going to wait richer than you. I miss me. I miss me. And then I, so I hung out with him the next day. He's recording this new record with Winona rider. What? He has a video he did with him with him. I was watching it with him and the place he rented out. And you know, my buddy, Jeff McGuire, is their bodyguard. I trained with him in
Starting point is 01:33:28 martial arts for 10 years. So he's bodyguards them for the past years. He lives with them sometimes. Yeah. And I told, and I told Aesap, I go, you know, Jeff McGuire, my buddy protects, he goes, get the fuck out. I go, yeah. I'm training with him in New York.
Starting point is 01:33:45 Wow. You know everybody. You really do. You might be the next mayor, dude. I just happen to just do life and it just goes, oh, I know that person. I know that person. Yeah. I'm doing a little, dumb little three more days.
Starting point is 01:33:59 You got to do it. Plug some tour dates, too. Where are you coming up, man? Well, I got Godfrey Live.com. Brand new website. There we go. Brand new website is very nice. I'm very proud of it.
Starting point is 01:34:10 Wow. I'm very proud of it. Yeah, it's just simple, but it's, it's, it's just simple. but it's streamlined. Yeah, Pittsburgh Improv. Pittsburgh Improv. This is 16th to the 18th. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:22 What else do it? I don't know when this is showing. Oh, yeah. 18th. Was it short the 18th? When's my next date? 20 Tulsa. Where am I Tulsa?
Starting point is 01:34:31 And then Buffalo. Wait, Tulsa what? What's the comedy club called? Bricktown. Bricktown Comedy Club in Tulsa. Great pizza in Tulsa. Yeah. And it's the what?
Starting point is 01:34:41 The 20th to the 22nd? The 20th? The 22nd to the 24th is Bricktown Comedy Club in Tulsa. So you're at Heelium and Indianapolis the following weekend. Helium in Indianapolis, the following week. And Buffalo. Yeah, you know, the usual roundbils. I like that Buffalo Heel.
Starting point is 01:34:59 No, listen, Mark Grossman has a great franchise. And even the Bricktown, you're talking about Spokane, Tacoma comedy. That's a good franchise. Levity Live's a good franchise. Yeah. Improfts. I like those clubs. They're fucking good.
Starting point is 01:35:14 And you make money and it's good crowds and there's built for fucking comedy. And I do the Wilbur. I do Wilbur's nice. And that's awesome. I take the special there. I love it. Wilbur is fantastic. It's kind of clubby.
Starting point is 01:35:27 It'll be my third time doing Wilbur in December. Wow. Yeah, man. It's fantastic. December. They come out and it's great. Damn. And that house nut pisses me off.
Starting point is 01:35:37 I know. God. Damn. We should have showed Gary's first. Yeah, I know. Well, I'm going to Cleveland. No, that's a great room. The 23rd.
Starting point is 01:35:45 Great club. And then Zanis. Oh, yeah, in Tarrytown. Terrytown, Chicago. Tarrytown, I got a little door deal there. So let's put some people in there. Is it a little door deal? There you go to the joggy door.
Starting point is 01:36:00 Yeah, Gary's with me on some of these dates. So, yeah, I'm in what we have. Yeah, well, you're not with me for this one, unfortunately. Rosemont. In Chicago, then, Zanis, I think that's all sold out already. That's going to be a fun weekend. Yeah, I think that's all gone. But then we got Stanford, Connecticut, the 12th through the 14th in February.
Starting point is 01:36:16 Nice. Then we got Providence. I think these are all sold out. We'll probably add a couple maybe in Providence, February 20, whatever that was, whatever that weekend was 20, the 19th through the 21st in Providence Comedy Connection. We just added a third show from my taping. Tampa Theater, baby. The 27th of February. Now it's only available February 26th.
Starting point is 01:36:37 Can we do a Cosby voice for the pitch for, uh, for Tampa Theater? You got to come through to. Tampa Theater seems Sam Murillo and it's going to be a thrill. Oh, boy. And all you ladies
Starting point is 01:36:51 are going to be abused and the day he's going to get offended by the pudding and the odd boy. Fell asleep. It's going to be... Mark, do some
Starting point is 01:37:03 plug some dates because we haven't even addressed this yet, but I guess I have not had a threesome yet. I'm sorry, guys. We have not had a lot of inquiries yet.
Starting point is 01:37:11 You're trying to get a threesome? Yeah, We've all had one. They're making fun of me for not having had one. So look, I've gotten a couple, one of the women reaching
Starting point is 01:37:18 and wanted to be her, me and Mark, that's not going to happen. Damn, ill. I'm down. Yeah, all right, fuck, let's do it. All right, we got it, guys. So, yeah, we'll see. We'll see what happens with the threesome.
Starting point is 01:37:28 Just send me the girl just for the, for the ego. You done three zones? Yeah. Yeah, me too. I got twice, like two. That's about it, but not like, I have a buddies to do it like all the time. No, it's not to me.
Starting point is 01:37:41 But they're just shaming me. They're shaming me. God shit, though, too. Of course. I would get the one that's part of it. They got to agree with a onceom. That's true. The onesom is hard enough.
Starting point is 01:37:54 I'm in Bend, Oregon, all over Oregon, New Brunswick at the Stress Factory, San Antonio, L-O-L-L, Tulsa. I'm following you. Tulsa, let's go. Yeah, Arizona, Indianapolis, Buffalo. I'm on your tour here. Oh, that's why you know. He did like five hours. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:38:13 Portland, Maine, Province, Rhode Island, Kentucky, Lexington, and Fort Lauderdale, Ralee. I'm all over the road, trying to avoid my child. Come on out. How old's your child? Eleven months. It's insane. It's crazy. And buy some of bodega cat whiskey, guys.
Starting point is 01:38:27 Bodecaatwiskey.com. Aidof. Badegaatwiskey.com. Message us at, uh, Instagram at bodega cat whiskey message if you want us at your bar. The whiskey's taken off. all these clubs, theaters, restaurants. We love you.
Starting point is 01:38:46 You make it some good money, huh? No, we're getting there. We're burning a hole in our account. We're dying. Slow death here. But it's fun. But it's fun. You'll be like Clint.
Starting point is 01:38:54 And then sell it off for a game. That's the goal. That's the plan. Oh, yeah. That's dope. Boy, I'm fucking hammered in that picture. I'm hammered to. You really are.
Starting point is 01:39:02 You guys aren't fucking around. You really are. I am trashed. I'm fat-faced. We're the new Blues brothers. Yeah. You got to do SharkTet. The boys are.
Starting point is 01:39:10 I'm doing SharkT. We love you guys. We'll see you next week. Peace, peace. Comedy.

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