We Might Be Drunk - Ep 269: Adam Ray

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

Mark and Sam are joined by Adam Ray for a loose, hungover, anything-goes episode that starts in chaos and somehow gets worse. They break down a brutal night out after the Comedy Cellar, Santino sightings, canceled shows, icy NYC misery, and drunken bar decisions that spiral fast. Adam dives into stand-up war stories, crowd psychology, bombing vs. crushing, celebrity impressions, and why timing and confidence are everything. There’s talk of Hollywood rooms, green rooms, ego checks, dating disasters, and the strange math of who looks hot after enough drinks. Classic shop talk, brutal honesty, and a lot of laughs from three comics who’ve seen it all and are still confused by it. Go to https://Lucy.co/DRUNK and use promo code DRUNK to get 20% off your first order. To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/DRUNK Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/DRUNK Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Adam Ray: https://www.adamraycomedy.com Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are we fucking rolling? We're rolling. We got that pick, two Peters I sent you? Look at that. Big Reiner, double R. Oh, fuck. Tim Dillon? Oh.

We're cooking. Yeah. Hung over? Anderson. He just made the wall. Yeah, what took so long? Who got bumped? Burt?

Oh, Bert. A lot of diversity. Wait, what? We lost Bernie? Well, yeah. Oh, we can go higher. Oh, that's out of shot. What if we move on?

Yeah, we'll figure it out. All right. It's a bunch of it. dead people. I'm fucking hurting, dude. I'm like, I... What was last night? Santino in town.

We were hanging at the cellar. Not the hottest crowd. We were both a little annoyed. Yeah. I was like, you want to hit a bar? And it's like, yeah. We hit a fucking village haunt. We get smashed.

Nice. Good times. Yeah, well, the last night was a rough night. It was the coldest day of the year. So like half my shows got canceled. It was crazy. And we just, we're just getting lit up. And it's like, I tried to get Normaned out.

I just, oh, yeah. You just missed me. I was already over the bridge. We said you that because you were on the bridge already. I was like, come on, come join us. But we, yeah, we were getting hammered. Some girls was on a date, and she was next to us, and she was chatting us, like, while on the date. Then she was, like, making out with some Swedish guy.

And then she wouldn't go home with him. So she just, like, was hanging with us, and we were just, like, crazy. She was bombed. Wow, how was the sex? You get rid of the reason? I'll tell you, after a few drinks, she did look pretty good. Hey. So did Santino.

You like a red head. Man, she was hilarious. She was just telling us stories. She was like, why didn't you go home with him? She's like, because I got my Brazilian tomorrow. And we're like, yeah, no guy gives a shit. No, no. I mean, you could be on your period.

I'll still go down to you. I don't give a shit. Exactly. Bloody Mary. Yeah. Yeah. My wife told me, I wish I had known this. She's like, girls only want to have sex when they feel hot, which is so weird.

I guess first impressions matter, but I said, if you really liked them, you would have gotten home with them. Mm. And then you could tell she didn't really like him. She's like him. But he's so nice. And we were like, nice. And then I was like, let me guess.

You banged a fucking jerk off like two weeks ago. And she's like, I did. She banged an asshole, too. I was like, nice guys finished last. They really do. They really. Well, that guy finished first alone by himself. But yeah, they really do.

It's sad. But then women want a nice guy, but they don't want to bang him. It's a horrible world. We got smashed. And they're giving us these like, you know, like when we were at the bar the other night, Analog, which is going to serve analog in the village, going to serve bodega cat. Cool little swanky bar. And Mark and I go.

in there and they're making us like peanut butter whiskey drinks it's like a PB&J but it's with our whiskey and unreal it's so but that's the problem they were making a shit like that at sipping guzzle last night and it's so good and you're just like oh man like well they're like you know this is so good and they're like yeah we're not supposed to have seven of them like well then don't make it taste like fucking peanut butter and jelly dude no of course it's delicious yeah well the booze business is down so they got to get creative they're getting real kids are going to start drinking with these tasty flavors you hear what everyone's saying now Everyone's saying you got to go out there and drink.

Yes. Like a lot of health experts are like it's not worth the lack of isolation. Exactly. To be social, which I don't know if your body knows the difference. Right, right, right. But still, you meet people, you get laid, you make mistakes, you have fun, you have an adventure, you live in life. Speaking of drinking, you finally watch my wrecks, Alacus. Well, I watched the first half like six months ago and then I put you off six months later.

And then you had to go get a Brazilian wax and finish it. And because I was like, this movie is not... Is that your review? I'm listening. Yeah, and I was like, I just didn't do it for me. And then you're like, just finished the scene you're on. And I did. And I was like, this movie kicked into like six gear.

Yes, it has everything. It's got the wife stuff and then the fun with the friends, but then the trauma. It's got it all. It is a realistic look at like how fun drinking can be and how sad drinking can. Yes, exactly. And that ending, dude, fuck. Believe it. Heavy.

Love a crazy ending. Yeah. That's a great movie. What is it, Dutch? I think, is it Danish or Norwegian? I don't know. It's Danish, but. I don't know the difference between it, too, to be honest.

It's too fun to be Norwegian. Denmark and Norway. Norway. It's not the one that Simonson's from. It's the other one. Denmark. All right, that's what I do. There we go.

Yeah, well, Mads Mikkelson is such a good fucking actor, too. That guy rules. And also, this guy did another movie, Thomas Ventureg, two other great movies. One's called The Celebration. Oh, my God. You've seen that?

I didn't know it's the same guy. Dude, so that movie, the same actor, the guy who's a racist brother is the friend in this. Holy shit. So the celebration is basically, this is the premise. It's a rich family. It's the dad's 60th birthday. And it's this big, fancy event. And the son gives us toast.

And he goes, I'd like to thank everyone for being here. Specifically, you know, my dad, who fucked me and my sister when we were six years old. Oh! And that's how it starts? Wow. And you're like, how is this birthday going to get crazy? It's a weird ass. dark movie is great. And it's shot like documentary

style. Yeah. It's like the dogma 95 guys who were just like no hair no makeup, no lighting, just story. If you like a dog, I mean, they're funny in parts too, so dark in some parts obviously. He did another one called The Hunt. This director's sick. Wow. And Mads Mikkelson's

in The Hunt also. That's like a good kind of like cancel culture type movie. Got it. About a teacher who gets wrongfully accused of sleeping with a student. Whoa. That one's pretty dark, but they're all fucking good, man. I'm hook, the celebration. I watch that this weekend. It's a fucking good flick.

Where do you go from there? I mean, it's the full Menendez brothers in the first two minutes. Yeah. No, I mean, that's kind of, I don't want to give it away. I want people to watch. It's great. Holy moly. But you were telling me about this, we were talking about another round, you were telling me about the director. Yeah. Winterberg. He based the

son character after his daughter. Right. Who was like doing a lot of heavy drinking in college. And, you know, the rest is great? She died. She died four weeks before filming. So it's like an emotional movie for sure. It's terrible, but yeah, dude, the movie is incredible. It's funny how emotion helps art. I think the Fleetwood Mac Rumors is one of the best albums of all time,

and they were all fucking each other, breaking up, hating each other, hating each other, loving each other. I think that's added to the album. Yeah, we should have fucked Godfrey. It would have been a better episode. Yeah, he'll talk dirty to you a lot. You know who else was a fan of fucking me? Yeah.

Daryl Hammond said that was the best fuck you ever had. Speaking of, we love Gaffrey Speaking of the album, rumors, I've looked at this album maybe a thousand times. They don't notice those balls hanging on that dude? Oh, shit.

Look at that. It's like truck nuts. Damn. It looks like the cherries at a slot machine. That's always been there. Huh. What is it?

I'm getting to the age that looks pretty realistic. You sit down, you're like, oof. Yeah. The good days are over. I know, I know. The only time your balls feel tight

anymore is when it's this cold out. That's true. Then I get a cold plunge. Oh, I love the cold plunge. I miss it. I can't do it in the winter, man. No, it's crazy. This is fucking crazy. It's good when you're drinking, though. When you're out drunk and the cold air hits you, it's kind of nice.

Dude, you want to hear a crazy road story that happened to me this weekend? I'm at the DC Improv. I check into this hotel. Vita arrives before me, so he already checks in. And I'm checking in, and they were like, yeah, you already checked in. I was like, no, no, no, there's my friend. They're like, all right, whatever. They just give me the key.

Veter and I are going to get lunch. So he just walks to the room with me. We opened the door. It's a husband and wife in the room. And the guy goes, what the fuck? And I was like, oh, shit, I'm sorry, man. I got the key right here. Well, they, you know, decent?

Yeah, they were decent. But it was still, it's still like weird. It's intrusive. And you're like, oh, shit. And then he goes, you're that comedian. I was like, oh, shit, I'm sorry, man. Oh, wow. And he was like, he laughed it off.

And then we go to the front desk and we're like, oh, this happened. They weren't even like that nice about it. They were like, all right, whatever. And we were like, that's kind of weird. You fucked me. I could have gotten shot. They're walking in the wrong room.

And you just look like a dick. And they were like, all right, here's your new key. It's like, are we good? And I was like, Veter and I look at each other. I told Vito, I felt like we were on like a hidden camera Jew show. Do they haggle? And we were like, we were looking at each other like, there should be a lunch. Yeah.

They should have offered a free lunch. Although even when they do, Vita always says it doesn't feels good as when you pay for it. But the hidden camera juice show would be too sad. Here we are on Bondi Beach. You're like, no. All right. Then we go to the room and Veter's like, there should have been a lunch.

They should have offered. So I'm like checking in. I just hear him on the phone haggling. They offer a lunch. And then we go downstairs and we're eating lunch and they like three people come over to apologize. And I was like, that's weird. They were not that apologetic at first, and three people come over. They couldn't be nicer.

And one guy goes, here's your new room. It's the presidential suite. Oh, fucking upgrade. See, the squeaky wheel. It gets the grease. Peter's good. Although, I will say while he was on the phone, he was talking a lot of shit, and he was pretending to be me.

So when he was like, you know, this is Sam, this is really unexcath. I'm like, dude, you're making me sound like a fucking asshole man. Was he like, yo? Did he go all the way? And the iron is they're trying to keep it out of the act. And here it is in the act already. Well, but they were nice in the end And I was like, this is unnecessary

They're like, no, we insist, and I was like, all right Interesting And then you're in that big room alone You're like, well, this is kind of sad It's nice view Great view, but those sweets are Because there's like three rooms And you can't even use them all

I know, you're just like, what am I? But it's kind of fun. Peter and I was like, we should watch a movie in here I'm like, yeah, we'll watch a movie Yeah, go full home alone You know, get the candy out It was fun Yeah, man, where were you this weekend?

You were Greya, right? Brea! Did Edelman's Pond Yeah, we had a great time. Julian Edelman. You've got to get them back on here. Yeah, so fun. The nut house.

Yeah, great house. Great time. The problem is with Brea, you're like, I'm in L.A., but it's an hour and a half away. You know, so you drive into Edelman's Pod, then you drive out, and you're like, now I'm in three hours of traffic. Did you stay in L.A.? No. You stayed in Braia. I stayed in boring-ass, sleepy Brea.

Yeah. Which was probably for the best. You know, I had a few drinks at the club, and then I'd go to bed. That's tough. I'll tell you the thing. After the show, there's no train. That's true. That's true. And the ride to the airport at 5 a.m. on Sunday, because you've got to return the rental car, was 34 minutes to the airport, whereas it was like three hours during the week. God damn. By the way, here's a wreck. Sixth. Sixth rental? Super cool. You ever done six rental? You don't really drive.

Yeah. Well, there's budget, there's Davis. There's a dollar. But sixth is crazy. It's like regular, it's regular prices, but you get. beamers, Porsches, all these like upgraded Mercedes. You could have run a comedians and cars out there. I know, totally. But my manager set me up with this. I was like, what the hell is six? I've never heard of this bullshit. I got to fire this guy.

And then they throw you the keys. It was super easy. What were you driving? I was in like this crazy-ass beamer M series, whatever, like crystal blue, crazy nav system, leather seats. I had the Noss. I had all kinds of shit. And I was whizzing and waz and all.

That was it. I had that one. Ooh, that's nice. It was a sexy beamer, and, boy, it was fun. Wow. It's only $700 a month. A month. Yeah.

A month, Jerry. That's what it is for a week. I know. It's a great little hack. So is Vita. So are we. But, yeah, go to sixth. I'm a fan now, and they're not paying me.

Dude, how would the show is Bray? That's a good club. You know what sucks? Thursday, I had the weakest crowd. one show Thursday, two Friday, three Saturday. Oh, you went, that's a weird order. Yeah. I would much prefer, I don't like flying in and doing two at night,

but I would much rather two a night. The three shows on one night. It's a nightmare. It's tough. But, yeah. You're on autopilot. I know. But Thursday, the managers come out, the agent comes out because you're in Brea, you know,

they all live out in L.A., and I had the worst show of the weekend. So they were all like, okay, good to see you. Take it easy. Maybe we should drop this guy. You're doing a lot of new shit. A lot of new. But then the rest of the weekend, I'm cooking. So that was a bummer.

It's also fun when you get that crowd that, like, embraces the new, man. Yes, yes. That's what the clubs are the best, man. I know. I'm getting a lot of work done. Clubs, I'm having so much fun. We're both doing L.A. and May. Yeah, the fest.

I thought we were booked the same night for a second. I almost called my agent, and he was like, no, no, you're the next night. I was like, thank God. Oh, hell yeah. You're doing the sixth? I think I'm doing the seventh. Yes, yes. Yeah, I'm doing a thing with Jordan Jensen, Joe List, and Rachel.

It should be fun. Oh, that's a fun lineup. Yeah, that's going to be a blad, but it's going to be a fight for who's going first on that one. Are we going to do a pot out there? I think we should. Yeah, let's get some Paul Rudd's or some Michael Mann or John Hams. Let's see if you'll whip it out, dude. Yeah, let's see that ham bone.

But yeah, so let's do L.A. We'll do it up. It'll be nice to have some New York people in L.A. Take the L.A. out of L.A. a little bit. Yeah. How long are you going to stay out? Three days. Jesus.

What a fucking honker. that's soft I know what does this podcast become I don't know we're opening this like intellectual film discussion and you're like

check out his dick dude that's soft why do you go home and watch heated rivalry sallicose this show that show's awful

it's awful I'm sick of this I'm sick of hearing about it it's just a gay porn with a little bit of hockey yeah they're like it's got

it's sports you like yeah you know I don't like all the butt fucking the whole time and I'm not homophobic it's bad writing It's bad writing.

Maybe I'm a little homophobic, but it's bad writing. No, it's, oh, God. Speaking of, eating rivals. There we go. No, I love broke back. That was great. Brokeback was great. Wow.

Why am I the girl here? Look at that. I'm taller than you. Why? You're kissing down on me. What the fuck is that? Oh, yeah. I'm kissing you up.

I may as well kick my heel out. The hell's happening. I think Mark saying, do you want to kiss me? I think he's saying that. Oh, boy. My hair is straight in the back, too. Something this is not. That's what comes from doing Legion of Skanks.

Yeah, that's true. That's fucking fan base. We got off easy. We did. Literally. Oh, good times. That was a hot up. That's gay.

Was it? Yeah, we were rolling. We were drinking. That was a great one. I was watching your glass. I'm like, you better fucking keep it. I showed up drunk. You showed up drunk, and I had about a half left, and you gave me a four.

Yeah, I was like, get the fucking. Because I'm pounding these because I already had, you know, when you're already drinking, you're like, you start drinking a little quickly. Yeah. Let's keep this fucking buzz going. And I was. eyeball and Mark's like, you better fucking stay with me, dude. I'm calling it right now.

This is going to be a fun year. I can feel it. You feel it? We're already in January. We're already having a great time. I mean, the Knicks are struggling. But other than that... I was at that game.

That's why I was drunk. Oh, yeah. What are you going to do? Santito's in town. You're at Swallows and gurgles or whatever bar. Sip and guzzle. We're having a great time. Cool little bar.

I never heard of it. How did I have to say? Yeah, a little cocktail spot. Hmm. I love a cool cocktail spot. Love a good cock. Wait a minute. Tail.

Either right. Love a good cock. Oh, God. It just shows that like no one's ever, okay. Well, no one's ever done a gay hockey show, so they're like, we'll do this, and then everybody loves it. It's just the new thing. Yeah, but it's also, like, poorly lit, and it's like, the writing's bad, and it's like. And where are the gays?

They're supposed to be great with lighting and decorations. Which is low budget. There's only so much you could do probably. I think, I'm sure, but this is season two is probably going to be, like, insane. Yeah, well here's a quick are the actors all gay or they're acting? I think they're gay What do you think the rotten tomato is definitely gay? What do you think the rotten tomato scores? I don't know pull it up I don't know I give it two boners oh my god What all right give what do you think? I'm gonna say like 50%

Are we talking to audience or or I'll give you both in their pretty close? I bet it's like 92 or something Nailed it It on the dot? Oh I knew it would be in the 90s. You're gay. Fuck. What's a test? Wait, what's the critic score? 98.

Wow. 98. That's perfect score almost. That's insane. Because critics love to just be like, you know what? It's self-referential. It's inclusive. It's aware of what it is.

Is it aware or is it just a bad show that caught on? It's not good. No. Especially if you're a hockey fan. It's horrible. You're like, there's zero hockey. Yeah. It's just them on the ice, look at each other like,

how long are they in time out, you know? And it's just not realistic. Like, the first and second pick gay, statistically it's not even possible. Yeah. We got to make a hetero hockey called penalty box. Hey. All right. It's just dudes running a train on chicks together.

Like, we're not gay. We just fuck a lot of chicks together. Yeah. I don't know why these women are on the ice, but fuck it. Apparently, we're getting threesome opportunities, but they're fucking, yeah, threesome counter here, but they're all fucking... A double a teamer.

Oh, they're asking for you both? Yeah. They want the devil threesome. Patreon. Patreon. But the girl's name is Sammy, so I was like, this is going to confuse me because I'm going to be yelling to your name.

But he's never called me Sammy, so I won't be confused. No, that's true. He calls me Sam. Yeah, that's true. But, uh, dude, that would... She's not bad. Why is she good?

She's pretty. I mean, the face is very pretty. All right. Actually, I don't know if we should do that. I don't put that up on here. She's knockout, though. Very pretty. This guy's been late in years.

I bet if you bring her to analog and you go, Norman's on the way, you could probably hook up with her and I'll just not show up. That's a great move. But that's not, but that's not the threesome. Yeah, but you can blame it on me. He didn't show up. The guy's a fucking flake, piece of shit. Oh, what a piece of shit. I've been home watching a heated rivalry alone.

He's not here. I mean, men don't show up. Maybe we need a woman. Oh. And then we peek around. Call, what's her face? the other lady who is bartending. Hannah,

Heidi? Mandy? Not even close. Not even close. Well, she'll never come back. Nicklaus Cage movie. Maddie? Mandy.

It's a fucking mess. Is it good? It's weird. It's like a revenge movie. Oh, yeah, I remember this. Yeah. Oh, I don't remember Mandy. Nicholas Kaye.

He was in deep debt and he had to make a lot of shit to make that money back. I think he's been married like five times. Yeah. You gotta not, dude, don't you have an accountant who's like, what do you? Just be with them. Why do you have to sign papers? But you know what?

I bet really artistic dudes like that are like, no, man, I got to go all in on everything. Yeah. Yeah, he's living. What? You could live, goddamn. You could live with a lawyer. Yeah, and not a wife. Same with dudes who just raw dog everyone.

They're just like, I'll just have a bunch of kids and you're like, those are usually creative types. Yeah, that's holding them down. You know, nothing's like stifling them. Right. That's true. Yeah, they just, yeah, Nick Cannon. These guys are just, uh... Yeah, one of the greats for sure. Great writer, great thinker. I know. Hard Denzel, for sure. Great comic. He did it all. Good coxman. I mean, he's got 11 kids. Oh, the ladies, love him. 13, I think. 13 kids. Wow.

Are you a coxman? I feel like a coxman is strictly a person who, like, pulls it off without all the baggage. That's true. I'm not calling a guy who nuts that much with the consequence of a coxman, especially with that many different mothers. That's work. That's child abuse is what it is. It kind of is. Completely. He's not hanging out with all these kids and getting to know them. Twelve children. I'm sure he's paying for them. Twelve kids. All right. Six moms.

Twelve kids. Wow. A dozen. That's crazy. Zion, Zillan. Is that more than Musk? Musk is 13, I think. Wow. These African Americans are out of control. But yeah, Musk is he's trying to populate the planet, I think. Well, that's where the rich and the poor intersect is.

They will nut at anything. Here, here. So true. I think rich people are like, well, there's no consequence. I'll just keep nutting and stuff. And poor people are like, well, it feels good. I deserve something that feels good. Yeah, yeah.

And rich people are like, I can take care of these people. I got all the money in the world. Yeah. So. You came in hot, oh, sorry. You came in hot talking about peaves. Oh. I got some peaves.

I got some peev. That's good. I figured I'd save some for a guest. What's he showing up? He said he's 10 minutes late, so any minute. Okay, got it. Is he here? I think so.

Oh, it's, uh, You don't have to get up, but shit, I forgot I was going to say. Damn, I'm bummed I miss that bar hang. Oh, my God, it was fucking crazy. Damn. A lot of rando, a lot of bar creatures, too. I like a bar hang that turns into a whole thing where everyone starts chiming in. We met some people.

We met the chef from that hot new restaurant, the 86. Wow. Have you heard of that restaurant? I've heard of it, yeah. I've heard of it, too. It's supposed to be very hard to get into. I believe we got. He sent Santino and I two shots.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Wow. Well, Santino is, like, we're no slouches, but he's a very, very recognizable figure of the fiery red hair. He's on one of the biggest podcasts. Dave? Dave.

That other show. He was on curb. He was good on curb. Great on curb. Great actor, too. Look at that. Really, oh, it looks cool, right? It kind of looks like Mooseau and Franks a little bit.

Oh, yeah. Remember once upon a time in Hollywood that scene? Yes, very 30s. Very deco. I like a throwback. I love a throwback. I like when you feel a little transported and then you walk outside the bar and the fucking wind hits you in the face and you're like, oh, it's

fucking cold. Oh, look at that. And you went to a diner today alone. I did. I love a diner alone. I think that's a wreck. Go to a diner, especially hung over. You just pound coffee, eggs. You're like, this is how you beat it. And yeah, shout out of Aselka, one of the best diners. Great, great. Ukrainian diner. Especially if you can get a booth alone, coffee, you get some people watching. It was great. It was dead. I love a dead diner. Love a dead diner. You feel bad because you're like, this can't be good. Yeah. business, but you're like, this is how you want, no one wants a packed diner. No.

It's not where you go. You go for the isolation. Well, we fought, we're big diner quefs, and we follow this diner guy, and he's like, I'm at this one in Park Slope, I'm at this one in Lower East Side, and we try to go to as many as we can, but they're dying. They're like Native Americans. There's like four left. Yeah, it's tough, man.

It's tough. They're like blockbuster. They used to be everywhere. Remember how many diners were in New York? Yeah. And then what sucks is the ones that survive have to just jack up the prices. And you're like, did I just spend $23 on an omelette? I know.

This is ridiculous. It takes the charm away of the diner. Completely. It's supposed to be, you know, blue collar, cheap shit. Like a coffee is supposed to be like 65 cents. Now it's like $4. $0.65. Well, you know, I've been watching Mad Men.

But we used to go to a diner. You walk out of there, two meals, and it was like $18. You look at a day. You're like, this grilled cheese is supposed to be $1.35. Come here, toots? What's that black in here? But, yeah. Yeah, it's all changed.

The diners are out of control. I love movies from the 70s where they'll eat a grilled cheese and a black coffee and then just leave change on the counter and walk out. Yeah. Just change. Crazy. It's fun to watch the menu in an old movie, too. You know, you're like, wow, ham and eggs were like 88 cents. Yeah, it's cool when you see, like, the menu hasn't really changed.

And it's like, you know, just like fucking burger, fries. We eat all the same shit. I know, I know. Apparently, they say the food's gotten worse, chemically, you know, process-wise. but yeah. Yeah, only now they're making, they were making crazy shit.

You know, we were doing Negroes and shit last night, but then he'd be like, this is like a Wagoo old-fashioned like whatever.

Jesus Christ. We're just fucking hammered. Yeah. Just trying whatever. Sometimes I annoy those guys because I'm like, can I just get like a tequila soda? Because I don't want all the sugar,

I don't want all the syrup a lot of times. I'm a chock full of syrup. That's the hangover. How's our guest coming? Oh, all right. Something feels, what are you guys, doing a little secret thing?

I see a backpack over there. Is he doing something? some kind of prank bullshit. Is there breakaway bottles in there? Yeah. We were doing that for a while. That was kind of fun. Oh, yeah, that was fun.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, give me a menu price here. Is this in New York? No. Pork roll. That's got to be like Jersey, right? Yeah, that's Jersey. Fresh ham, sirline steak. Hey!

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com slash drunk. That's Shopify.com slash drunk. What's up, dude? Congrats on that Seahawks win. All right, let me get right into it. Is this coming out? This has to come out this weekend now, then. Oh, all right, well. Fuck, all right. Should we take it again?

He's coming out this weekend. Let's just do this then Yeah, let's talk Seahawks Okay, great Very fired up Darnold, man Darnold, we haven't been to the Super Bowl in 13 years

Let me ask a friend and comedian's perspective On something So, you know, first theater tour I'm on it right now Hey, you guys have both been The Who Is Me Theater Tour Adam Raycom for tickets or X videos or jambajuice.com

If you just want to get excited for something But it Yeah, I was doing The Moore And Sam texted me It was like, favorite venue. It might be my favorite, yeah. It was very sweet text, first of all, and... I just say, he posted about it was like, oh, I'm like...

Because usually he just texts, you think you're better than me, and... What's that? No, you're Seattle kids, so it's like, it's iconic. It was, and Pearl Jam, I think, did... Yes. Some music video there back in the day. Even flow, he climbs the rafters. Yeah, I mean, if you just put your ear up to the walls, you can hear Ediveter being like,

you know, this is where a titty-fooked... And so... but that's all you hear and it trails out he came yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um but it was the acoustics

you made a big point to say were like I mean three levels but everybody's right up on top that's my favorite and it uh it just I don't know you want a theater

I just you know we did the Wilbur this past weekend and then we're like in Maine and Rhode Island and New Haven jealous and best pizza in the country's best pizza in New Haven but even like

this theater in Rhode Island was like 100 years old and I just like a fucking old historic venue. Like, I don't know. It's cool to feel like, you know, that it's not some, you know, obviously brand new venues rule, but like the Beacon, for example, just feels like every show has, from Seinfeld to bet to fucking two girls, one car, everything's been through there. And they always get the grip, the grip guy, like, you know, Chaplin played here. Yes.

Bro, the sound and the lights guys are like, I've seen everything from fucking, you know, vertical horizon to fucking William Nelson, man. And they both love to fucking party, you know. Yeah. Houdini levitated off the stage. Tonight you did a queef jokes. That was good stuff. Yeah, pretty much the same show. But what was I going to say?

Oh, so I'm doing, you know, town hall this weekend, first time. Town hall's epic. Great. That's awesome. That's another where they're on top of you, you know? Okay, great. And all these are pretty close to being clean. Hell yeah.

Troy is the, yeah, they've all been, there's maybe been two so far. There's a bit, like Wilbur late show was maybe a thousand out of 1100. we got it. So 100, you know, you give or take. Yeah. But this Troy Savings Hall, Troy Banks, Albany's yeah, yeah, that I was going to cancel because the NFC championship game is Sunday now.

And I've got to know the GM, the really well, John Schneider, I have a list of people now that I hit up when I go home where it's like my two best friends from elementary school, my mom obviously, and now John Schneider, the Seahawks GM. He had me roast the Seahawks last year. So I got to know

Mike McDonald the coach really well. I got him to do this video when I went on McAfee to like come in. It was, uh, and I did a first pitch for the Mariners and, and like, pretended to come up short with my pitch. And then I called the pen and Mike came out to throw his first pitch. And so everybody was like, please welcome to see how his coach. Mike McDonald, he's a cool-ass guy. He's like, yeah, you're my tired of the comedy world and doing all these goofy bits.

It's like, because he's kind of a pretty even-keeled nerdy, plays Catan. Is that the game? It's like a strategy game. Chris Catan? Yeah, you play a straight. A lot of drugs in that game. Yeah, you get a lot of pills from him. And so, no, shout out.

We love you, Chris. And, but, but, but, but, uh. Yeah, man, go. But so, so, so I have all these ties now to the, and known Sammy for, since he got drafted. Catan. Catan, yeah. So I was like, I got to go back to the game because, you know, I, I, did sit in their suites and go to the field and, like, party with them after when they win. And, and, but I, uh, I got this, like, I think it was a sign from God, man.

I get this Facebook message. I try to check all my shit in doses. And I get this message, you know, obviously, we all know how, like, impactful. comedy is now and like sometimes you see it more some days and others as far as like a message or a meet and greet somebody's like you know my wife just had her fucking 18th abortion

and this is her first time out in two years you know you and it really it means a lot and it's like man it's been going out a lot and so it got his message and it was just this guy like fucking tugging to my heartstrings and I was like I can't fucking like so my whole thing was I was going to cancel

after we won on Saturday against the We had the game on on the big screen during the meet and greet on stage. And so I'm just fucking taking shots with people and going nuts. And I'm like, I mean, we won 41 to 6. It was awesome. And everybody was like, oh, it's a good team. It's a fucking player. Totally.

And so now we're playing the Rams, obviously, but everybody around me. People I think are you and Soter. Because it's Seahawks 49ers. Yeah. Oh, fuck. I'm like, one of my friends is going to be really fucking sad. Yeah. I know.

Dude, that's sports, though. But so I'm like, I'm definitely canceling Albany because I'm like, it's fucking Albany, I'm canceling. How many times you get to go to the game and have this many connects? And then this kid's message, dude, like, I literally was like, I go, it's a sign from God. I can't fucking cancel. Are you with the egg? It's Troy's savings.

Savings bank? Yeah. It's bigger than the egg. Oh, nice. The egg is cool. Egg's awesome. Really? But it's like a thousand seats.

But also, and so then I'm going to drive back from Albany the next day to fly out. Yeah. I don't know. But I guess what I'm asking is like, obviously canceling week of is like shitty. Like, I don't care how you slice it. Well, you also, you're. talking about it on a podcast, you'd have to just be like something happened. No, no, I was fully

going to be like, I'm going to the game. Dad? I was going to, but I just was like, that's such a, like, this is, we get to do so much cool shit. This is so many shows, which, again, you just don't think about it. And I guess I'm trying to shed a light on it. Dude, I did this during the

next playoffs, because it's like, you know, it's so rare that we're in the mix. Yeah. And I'd use an alias at the seller and Esty be like, why do you always use an alias? And be like, because you get mad when I cancel and I use my name and the fucking Knicks. She's like, oh, I get it. She was like, she totally got it.

Yeah. Yeah, but so cool. Did you ever think you'd be doing a theater tour? And then you go, hey, let me cancel that theater. I want to go to a game. Because I could go sit in the owner suite or whatever. I mean, what a life you're living. Totally.

Yeah. And so, but then that's why you just got to go. But if we go to the Super Bowl then, and this is what my sweet wife was breaking out. She's like, fucking you can't bail. She's like, if we win, it's like, we'll go to the, you know, I got some options there. And then that's, and then also it's like, yeah, you fly. I'd have to take a 7 a.m. flight back Sunday. Would you go to the Super Bowl?

Oh, yeah, yeah. And you don't have a gig on the Super Bowl. No one. I met the mothership to Friday and Saturday, but I purposely canceled Sunday. Yeah. To also just watch the game because I was like, I don't want to be on stage during the Super Bowl. Yeah. But I was just playing on watching it. You also don't know how good your team is going to be. So these gigs were booked, you know, in, you know, 10 years ago. That's so cool. You got the local sports team from your city.

It's honestly the cool. I mean, I don't know how you guys are with, like, athletes or musicians. I think we're probably. He's all over the athletes. Yeah. Brian, no. I know. Sam's like, I got a great show.

Wait, who? No. He did rivalry. He did rivalry. Hilarious. Yeah. No, yeah. I remember the first time we met at the comedy store hallway right in the original room.

And we just started geeking out and you're like, yeah, I've got a sign to Murray Stuttermeyer headband. Do I really? Wait, that sounds like something I would say that laugh. Yeah, yeah. No, you did. But we were geeking out, NBA-wise, and I was like, dude. I told I've met a lot of comics is just talking who. Totally.

I mean, you were like, you were like, you're from Seattle, right? And I was like, yeah, and you're like, Sean Kim, Gary Paden. And I was like, dude, and then I go, and then I go, dude, John Stark's Ron Harper. And you go, this guy knows his better. Derek Harper. Derek Harper. Oh, fuck, what I say. Ron Harper.

All right. I still play D. I still play D like Ron Harper. I hand check. I'm dirty as fuck, dude. Yeah, he just pretty much was trying to just, yeah. You guys, you have good tea. The Pelicans call me.

I don't answer. You want to come in the box? Well, you've adopted the Knicks. Yeah, yeah, the Knicks are all the way Yeah, I don't get starstruck often But I was the first time I met Jalen Brunson I was a bit of a bitch I was a little bit like oh fuck

I was like thank you so much for coming here And Liz from the sellers with me And she was like oh fuck She had to like jump in and be like no he's like A really funny community Oh okay Yeah, yeah It was nice

The pot Yeah I was very bad on their podcast They were on a three game losing streak They were not in the mood to pod And I'm just telling like bomb stories And they're not going They're like So you're just not good

I'm like, no, it's funny. It went badly. They're like, so you just bomb all that? I mean, no, it's self-deprecating. Funny story. It is tough. What do you think guys get more nervous about? That's a cool shot, actually.

Holy shit. Like a pick. Stefano's friend Tommy the cop. That's a great shot. That's about to break his fucking hand. He's really getting on that. Don't high-five that guy. He can't get 400 pounds.

Like a pickup line to a girl or an icebreaker to an athlete for a guy. What's more nerve-wracking, you know? Oh, definitely. You're like, I went up to a girl. and I told her if she needed help in the bathroom, I'd help her wife. I thought that'd be funny, you know, but then I went up to fucking, you know,

you know, Carl Anthony Towns, and I told him like, you know, how's the weather up there? You know, and he fucking is, you know, like, you're, or like, you know, I have your trading card. Like, what's your opener to these guys when you meet them?

Dude, I mean, yeah, I didn't have one. I sucked. I mean, it was bad. And you ended up just panicking, you're like, dude, how basketball fucking rules, right? Well, I blew it with that guy in the lounge. What was that guy?

That famous, legendary basketball? player and I was like hey I'm Mark. Kyle Rittenhouse. You remember that? We were standing at the bar waiting to get a drink and some guy walked up and I made a joke and you were like, oh, and I was like, hey, what's up?

Marbury. Oh, cool. I didn't know who it was. He's always there. Mark's like, Mark goes, Mark and he goes, Stefan. I just shook my head. I'm like, we're at the garden.

Oh yeah, of course. There's a, if you can find this picture. I got to sit courtside the next game. I thought it was seal. Holy shit, dude. We'll be right back. He does. I got kissed by something

Yeah, the court side thing I got to do once And I think the picture is online And I went and I was wearing A Sonic's jersey Because they were playing, I think, OKC So my buddy and I

We sat down there to kind of taunt OKC This is like the Elaine Seifled episode Where she wears the Orioles hat Totally And I think if it was me Here actually no It was So I go into the little private area

And there was You know how they give out bracelets Like in the bucket sometimes And that little court side So they gave me John McIner was there and I grabbed a bracelet and he was right there

and I go, hey John, I go they told me that you wanted to be bracelet buddies and he goes, who told you that? I go, I go, nobody I just wanted to talk to you and he goes, John, I go Adam, I go, you're great on curb

and he goes, oh, thanks and we just bullshit from it. Oh, that's good. So we go down, Spike Lee's there, Rami Malick was there and he was about, Bohemian Rhapsody had just come out. So he's like, and so there's a picture

if you type in Adam Ray Spikeley, Rami Malick, maybe court side. Some guy got a picture of him, my Asian friend Dale Tan who we call Bruce Lee and then Rami and Spike Lee and it looks, there is to your far left. What a crew! So this is...

This is a mad list. So it looks like we're all best friends. By the way, we didn't talk the whole game. Are you in a KD Sonic jersey? Yeah, dude. I love it. And so Rami is... I mean, by the way, God bless him, but the most like...

Like I was like, hey I'm at, I'm doing... He's like, so what do you do? And I go, oh, I'm a comedian. He goes, I see the shows and stuff. This is, by the way, a very heightened version of how he actually was. He was pretty chill. But he was a little, you know, uncomfy.

Maybe it was courtside or everyone was looking at him. And I go, I make, actually, Gotham this weekend if you want to come. And he was like, can I bring my girlfriend? And I was like, dude, you can bring your girlfriend's girlfriend. You can hide your kids, hide your wives, bring whoever you want. Yeah. And that's a fun picture. Holy moly.

Who's the fat bitch? That's Kendall Gill, dude. No, who's the lady? It's him. Oh, my God. I thought that was Hannah Gatsby. Welcome back to hide your boner. Holy moly.

That handhold is crazy. What is that handhold? That is me when I was playing Sharon, Sharon from Poughkeepsie in the Lifetime original movie, Suck My Cunk. I thought that was Rosie O'Donnell. Pretty close. Oh, my, what is that handhold, though? I mean, that's so elegant and dainty. And the boobs?

I was with my mom, by the boobs, yeah. You got to dance with you on Downton Abbey? Yeah, yeah. Shout out to my mom. She takes me down there. We're sitting up in the 300s, but she goes, let's go down and you can go down and get close to watch the warm up. And I go, Mr. Gill, Mr. Gill, you know. And I was like, Mr. Gilm.

You were a young black child. Squeeze him together. And he was like, who's the hook? And he's like, who's the hot milf? Wow. And I mean, even my haircut, dude. Like, my lips are all shiny and big. And it's full Delta Burke.

Yeah. This is crazy. And so, by that, that pullover, by the way, like, what am I doing? And so I think I have nine shirts. When you're that fat, you're wearing so many shirts just so your tits don't ooze out. I mean, you're really layered. But I don't know if I put my hand out like that or he went like this. And then I slid my hand in there.

Like, was he? doing that and I was like you got it you know he reached in he better be on some lists because uh he was a hell of a player I posted this picture sadly it's gotten more engagement on my IG than anything I've ever done It's amazing but I tagged him in it once And he commented below oh shit

Did he say may I have this dance Yeah yeah He grabbed your hand Yeah he took him to the promen up for a fucking tight They were yeah But so that uh the courts I think we hadn't really talked a lot So I invited him to the show I got his email

We corresponded Kendall Gill no Romby Malick Oh, by the way, how many people are confusing Kendall Gill and Romney Mowcray? But so, and Spike, something had happened, and Dale and I, my buddy Dale to the right is like, I mean, bro, if he was in here right now, he'd just be laughing hysteria. He's like the best friend, non-comic. He's laughing right there. Yes, man. You know, like everything you can see material, dude, he just thinks you're the funniest person.

I love it. And I've known him forever. And so. You must love your act. Yeah, yeah. So I did a dekeme finger wave, and then I said something. I can't remember what I said, but in a dekeme voice. and like Spike laughed

and then Rami was just like didn't know what to do but like the guy got a shot of like our one exchange so I posted it being like we're all best friends we're going to Cabo next year you know like that's great

got a great shot right and I like you represent with the hat Sam's got his return jersey on you know what this actually is this is the roommate's podcast Jalen and Josh's pod oh wow you're both reps

they sent me one I was like what is this and I was like oh shit that's awesome can we hear you at Dekembae in 2026 what does it sound like Mike DeKembe in 2026? Yeah.

Well, he's passed away, right? Yeah. Did he? Dude, pull up, pull up my DeKembe Matumbo message to Samarro. I paid for a came. I paid a cameo for a cameo. Well, let me do, I'll do what I think he sounded. I mean, I met him once at the NBA Awards and I was like, DeKembe, dude.

I go, I go, man, I still, I'm a big Sonics fan. I haven't forgiven you, but like, you're a legend. He's like, uh, yeah. Well, can you do the message in his voice? Because I've never heard him talk, I don't think. No, it's like, it's like, it's a video from him. Yeah, just like, look up. monster going on. A little cookie

monster. This is, fucking, he's so good at this shit. He knows his impressions. He was in coming to America two. No, he wasn't. Slow down. No, it's a cameo, dude. The second one, yeah. It's a came-ban. I typed in your name didn't come up. Hmm. Yeah, maybe it's not there. Damn. You guys ever bought cameos for he got me a sugar A.

Cool. Mark Mc McGrath? Yeah. Cool. I thought it would just be fun to be like a random band. Hey, boy, he's like, Mark, we hear you're a biggest fan. A thousand percent, dude. Yeah. He killed it. He was really funny. He did great. He sang a song. or something. Okay, Tekeme. He can't find it.

Yeah, it's probably not that good. That'd be great if the Google just went like this. You called it. Let's go. I got his autograph when I was a kid because I used to wait outside the garden for them to come out. Oh, yeah. Nick for a minute. And I had a blue jersey on, like a warm up, whatever.

And he just, I was like, Mr. Matumbo. And he was probably like too old to be. asking for an autograph, but he just take out of Blue Sharpie and rode in it and it just didn't even come out. God damn it. That counts. I once followed I love that that, dude. It's like, I don't know. I love that you do that though, waiting outside the

that's a very like, yeah, you do get to a point as an adult where you're like, I should probably slow it down with the autographs. But as a kid, I think it's all fair game. My mom took me to a manners game. They were playing the Boston Red Sox. It's when they had Movon, Wade Bogs. And these guys, and the Red Sox are historically known for boozing in the

clubhouse. And just like, even in that, I think Like the legend. Oh, totally. Especially in the early 90s. But even when they won the World Series, it sounds like they were all getting fucked up. And then obviously, you know, your Yanks, you know, David Wells and Doc Good and obviously.

So they're all probably still, you know, doing fentanyl cupcakes, bumps and shit. Wells were hungover for the perfect game. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Whoa. So I follow, I walk, uh, he,

Wade Boggs walks out and I give him my ball and he goes, walk with me. So I'm just like walk with him. I turn around. My mom's like, I guess he's raising you now. And I'm walking down all the way to the- And he held your hand like this. he goes I saw the gill pick

and then uh and he could don't make it weird and we walk to the greyhound bus he just keeps walking he's in front of me he walks on the bus so I just like you know I'm nervous but also I'm just like fuck yeah man I could maybe get on a team bus I'm like nine years old walk up he's walking all the way down the

aisle way of the bus and so I just follow him down and I see fucking Roger Clemens and Mo Von and I'm just walking by and they're all just minding their business some of them were looking up like why is there a kid on the bus but either it was normal or maybe they thought

I was a make-a-wish or they were like who's the lesbian that Kendall Gil knows or like maybe it's one of, you know, maybe he's, you know, Epstein's gonna come pick him up. And so I get close through the end and then Boggs sits down

and he goes, what's your name? And I go Adam and he goes, I wrote Alan and then he handed me the ball. Whoa. So he had signed it before and then still was just like, what's your name? And he's like, I fucked it up.

Did he fix it or no? No, no, he just gave me the ball. You could add a little dick on the D on the L there. I mean, look at this guy. He was a fucking badass, so, dude. I mean, that guy was just instant on base. Oh, really?

He was such a hard out. Him and Tony Gwyn. Oh, yeah. The 90s? The 90s were the shit. Baseball's the sport, too, where I think you can get away with the most. Boozin. Booz and, yeah.

Yeah, but that's got to be, like, the stories he claims that, I mean, it's fabricated, obviously, but he says, like, he drank 100 beers in a flight, which is like, there's no fucking. No, there's no way, dude. There's no way. But Chrysher hasn't drank 100 beers, right? And I feel like he may have. Yeah, it's a bad example. I've flown with him, but he's scared of flying.

Extra on flights. We left the Super Bowl in New Orleans when we did a show there, I guess it was last year. And he did an arena show and it was myself and Shane and Nikki and Tony and Guy Fierry. And so we're leaving on the, Bert got a plane with Howie Long and how he bailed. So he's like, you guys want to come on my plane? And we're like, yeah, so it was my wife and buddy and I. And we had to get up though at seven and drive three hours to the airport. So I was literally like.

And some private... Outside of New Orleans. Oh, interesting. Is Lafayette? Yeah, that's about three hours. Great, that's where it was. There you go. Kids, you can't smoke weed

and have a short-term memory. There you go. Every time I remember somebody's name from the show and some crowdwork and they come to the meet and greet and I go, Dave, right? And they're like, dude, how the fuck? I'm like, that gives me another two years

of smoking pot. Yeah. Do you smoke a lot of weed? Not a lot, but enough to... At night, I can't smoke when I'm on... I can't be high or drunk when I'm on stage because I just... Even if I'm not doing anything in the crowd,

I just need to have my wits about me. It blows me away. Like, I see Big J. Just smoke a joint and then he's so fucking quick. I know. Totally. Some people are born different, but I can't do it. It's all a personality thing.

Like, some people take an Adderall and they feel calm. I take an Adderall and I'm like, you know, shalacking the roof. Yeah, yeah. I'm buzzed up. I love those fucking pills. Yeah, well, but you're pretty ADD. Do you go up or down when you take it? I could just fucking listen.

Wow. I mean, I'm not on it right now. I'm on it now, but like, because. which is exactly what a drug fiend would say show us your pockets but no but I love it I mean I'm locked in you don't smoke at all

I don't like it man I don't like it either I hear no edible fuck I hate edible I used to be the guy that was like when people would say that I'd go oh you just haven't smoked with the right people or like you fucking you probably took one here you say that it doesn't jam with you but then I've also had

the terrible edible experiences I was once in my same one with Josh Wolf and Josh Wolf would do like I mean, he does shows where he does a Friday mushroom show. Jesus. And Josh is so funny, and he tells these great stories, but his Friday show on mushrooms. On all the mushrooms.

And it's like, but he's another guy where he can still be locked in and people, it's advertised. People come to the show knowing he's shroomed out. And so we did probably, you know, I'll do a 2.5 milligram edible. We saw the show last night, the All Out show with all the rotating cast of comics. Oh, yeah, yeah. I said Sarah Silverman, Craig Robinson, Heidi Gardner, and Jason Matzook is super funny. and so a little edible for that to where I can still be in control

and like when I see Craig after I'm not going to be like what's up man I'm like great job because I don't want to embarrass myself but I definitely took probably close to 80 milligrams

with Josh and he didn't tell me and it was this big brownie and so I get home to my apartment in LA and I start having a freak out and there's a game that sometimes when you smoke too much or ingest too much that you play and potheads will know this

a little game called if I do this my heart won't explode And it's a real fun game where you just psych yourself out and have a fucking freak out on your patio. And so I was like, my heart was beating really fast. I was about to drive myself to Cedar Sinai and I go out to the little like shitty patio I had in our apartment. And in my head I was like, just fucking keep moving.

Just keep moving. So I'm out there going like, just fucking like tap dancing. And our apartment was set up like there was a pool in the middle and almost like Melrose Place. So there's apartments all the way around the pool. And so ours was looking across to another guy's apartment. And after about six minutes of fucking stepball changing on my patio, I hear this guy just go, hey man, are you okay? And I go, yeah, I'm just rehearsing.

Because I, like, got nervous and like didn't want to be caught being high, even though I should have been reaching out for help. So I go, I'm just rehearsing, man. In L.A, that line works. In Kansas, you're getting your ass kicked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In L.A., everyone's like, oh, he's probably in, you know, the nutcracker. And so I retrieved back to my inside and, like, somewhat calmed down. And then I was like, I was like, I'm never doing.

About 80. Which is crazy That's fucking crazy But Josh There's some people that can just like Do that many And just be like I know

Joe would be in I remember the guy Used to come to the cellar And just sell cookies And you just would like Not know how much was in it Was he dressed as a Girl Scout or no No it was a guy

That was a guy that was selling drugs No he was that was the thing And I remember like I see Nikki get And she's like oh you should get this Like really good And I'd be like Oh okay cool

And then I got it And oh I had like three roommates At the time A full on panic attack And they had people over I was just like rocking in a bed. I was like, this is crazy. It's a nightmare.

I ate the whole cookie. I had, I sold a show. The first, you know, you pitch a million shows. I finally sold a show. So they fly out to L.A. Because once you sell it, you got to pitch it. Yep. You know, to Netflix, Hulu, whatever.

So they flew me out. This is a big deal. This is years ago. I did a show at the comedy store, Sam Tripoli's show. They just hand you a bag of weed. It's like gummies and cookies and joints and all this shit. And I go, I'm not a weed guy. Take the bag back.

And he goes, well, at least take the CBD. And I go, oh, CBD. This will help me sleep. So I just guzzled the whole jar of it. It was THC. It was T.H. Of course. I don't know how much it was, but it was a full jar. I was like, I'm going to sleep tonight. I'm not a great sleeper. I'm CBD in my

ass out. And I get back to my hotel and I was like, oh my God. And it was like I fell asleep and I woke up high. It was one of those. So I'm in a dark room like and I fell off the bed. I'm laying on the bed and it felt like the room was vertical. It was. So I was holding on to the

the leg of the bed, like, because I thought I was going to slide into hell. My God. You know you went Titanic at the end? You're like, fuck. I'm falling. And then I made the worst mistake. I, like, army crawled to the bathroom, turned the light on, and I looked in the mirror. And when you look in the mirror and you're that high, it is just the Satan.

No, you're like, Ted Cruz and Vanilla Sky. Yeah, I was like, ah, melting. Dude, I happened to me, too. I was on the road. Missed all the pitches. I was with a day. Yeah, I missed them all. My manager dropped me.

No way. Well, he was the, he was a, uh, was he threatened to drop. me, but he was like, you're crazy, they flew you out first class, da-da-da, and I missed them all. You tell him it was an accident? Yeah, of course, but he was like, you fucked us. That's such a relatable accident, though. Like, that's not like you're just doing blow all night. You fucked up.

Trippily. My dad did that. He's 81, and he took, uh, by himself, uh, and he took about. Eighty-one? Yeah, it took about, uh, now he's in a home, but two years ago, um, he took about, yeah, 60 milligrams of T-HC because he thought it was CBD. Yeah. And I'm like, and he, and he goes, I got, he was, I got stuck trying to take my home.

hoodie off for four hours, I was going to die. And he's like, I watched, naked and afraid is one of his favorite shows, so he just, like, played on repeat. He's like, I got to listen to a bunch of new episodes I hadn't seen, but he was, like, caught in his phone, he couldn't get, so he couldn't call anybody. So he was, like, caught in his hoodie freaking out high.

Oh. At 7980, I mean, like, that's terrifying. He was naked and afraid. Yeah. By the end of it. Giraldo used to always, I remember he had a great bit about doing all the drugs, like, later in life or something.

Oh, I love that bit. Yeah, because it was something about, like, You know, when you're looking up with a hand that God, that's when you want to be doing all the drugs. Right. Yeah. You want, you want to, PTA meetings? That's when you want to be a little fucked up. God, Gerald.

It's like, I can tell the drugs that I was younger. You know, you got to be, yeah. Dude, yeah, no, I had a full-on panic. I didn't understand anxiety. I didn't understand. I mean, I have anxiety, but not, like, to that level where you're, like, having a panic attack. You're going to die. You're going to die.

I was like, I'm going to die in a fucking Baltimore hotel room. You can control your, I think your buzz with booze a little better. Totally. Totally. Totally. Oh, yeah, we know what we're consuming. Yeah. And it feels like it ends.

When you're on edible, you're like, am I going to be like this forever? Totally. Even when I took that two and a half before the show last night, I was like, that's probably fine. But it was a new brand of gummy. So I was like, I don't know that I'm not going to go up on stage right now and start talking to Craig, like, you know, if I get inspired enough. You start hecling?

Like, is that fucking Adam, right? Yeah. Do something from the office. So, uh, crazy question. Yeah. So you're doing this stand-up tour. Yeah. I assume you got a hot hour cooking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've always been an improv guy. I've been a character guy. Now you're full on 100% stand up, selling out everywhere. Do you get people going, do this. So funny, yeah. I mean, I've been doing, that's what's so funny. Even people that come out to shows.

You've been to stand for 20 years. Even during the Phil, this is why I probably also stopped doing Phil is because I wasn't, I didn't want to just, if I was three years in and found Dr. Phil, you probably wouldn't have seen me again. Because I would have been like, I found something. Bye-bye. And it's a hit. I'm going to die in the woodcap. But, you know, I'd say, I don't know, three, four years into stand-up, I was just like, yeah, I think I'm going to, the drug and the grind of it, obviously,

it hits you early, but I just was like, oh, I'm never going to not do this. And then the Phil thing, it was like the only, it felt like a reward, honestly, because it was like so different. I just needed something else always, like just doing stand-up all the time, even though shows different, different cities, whatever. But that wouldn't have hit in three years, because the reason Phil worked. to me is that you had the improv chop from the road. I've been honing all my skills for podcasting and interviewing and doing a model and the crowdwork

and being comfy to go into a 5,000 seat theater and just walk through the crowd and buck and man on the street shit or sing stuff with a band or whatever. But no, I've been doing, so like we had like during March, I think it was like we had like five Phil shows on a weekend, which was too many. And then literally the next weekend five shows like at the Philly Punchline. and then the next weekend four more fill shows. So every time there was a free weekend, it was stand-up. So every month would be like three or four fills

and then three weekends a stand-up. So there was no... So it was just, you know... But again, no one's making me doing it. It was killing. So that's why I never complain. It's like, nobody said you better fucking get... But the Mool-Lah.

I mean, agents a little bit. Yeah, but you feel... Yeah, and you also feel like I don't want to lose my fastball with stand-up either. Sure. That's exactly why. I didn't also want to go back to, like, any club and have... I wanted to...

to feel like when I walked on stage, they're like, oh, cool, I'm still working on stuff, and this is what I, this is first. And that thing is just like a fun thing that's in addition to. But I also didn't want people, you know, for my, you know, people are going to think what they think. And people finding me doing standup through Phil or whatever is great, because however people come to your shows is awesome. But I didn't want to go to the clubs and have people being, uh, I didn't want to not have anything to be working on and not to be still looked at as a standup because that's why I am first, you know. So I didn't want to. people but also you can't control

there's some people who just go oh yeah the doctor food thing so and you're still doing stand-up I was like obviously yeah but I don't take offense it's another gear to me it was always just like another but it's smart I think it's smart that you put us because you're like I don't want to yeah and also we did for two and a half year like and I don't know but it probably brought so many people who like I mean we talk about this all the time like with us were like so many people like you

guys have a podcast together I know they just know us from stand-up or vice versa yeah so it's like yeah you do other things too but and it really the coolest thing is that like you know you just want like respect from your peers so much and it's like being in LA and throwing so many darts and then like you're just like all right you just got to at some point go control you can control you know just trying to get up all the time right and just keep pushing yourself creatively

and so to find the coolest part of it obviously all the joy that hopefully we that people found from it and the fun obviously like you guys both think God you know wanted to jam on it which was just so fucking fun but people that I've looked up to and am fans of, it was like something that I, you know, kind of did that put me on a level where people were like, oh, cool, like you did something that we think is funny and fun.

And that was like, because, you know, and another reason to hang that wasn't, I mean, like shortly after that, people that wanted me on their pods that maybe hadn't asked before. And it's like, it wasn't, it didn't feel like a too soon thing. It was like, yeah, I've been doing this 20 years. So like, oh, cool, I can pop into a here or a Rogan or wherever, and be comfy to chit-chat because it's not like too fast.

Well, it's fun for us too because we get to do a different muscle to go on the show. Yeah, totally. Because I know I heard you and Joseph List talk about how, you know, I guess terrifying. I think the first one Joe went on in Milwaukee was like, yeah, and Phil's just up there talking about this and he said this. And he's like, and he said fucking, you know, fucking, and then he said the N-word and then I said the N-word. And I'm just like, I don't know what was happening, you know. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, I feel it.

But he also, you know, I guess in the moment it does feel nerve-wracking because Because it is a different muscle. Well, we rely on our act. And then you're just like so. But you guys are also such good. Funny people are funny people, man. And you wouldn't have said yes to it if you didn't think you could serve. For sure.

I was pounding some booze backstage in his show. You and Corolla. Oh, he had me in a fucking headlock at the end of the night. Oh, yeah. He was fucking, tell me his life story. I was like, holy shit, we're fucked up. I didn't realize how much Adam drank, too. Oh, yeah.

Went to this little bar called Carri-on in Arizona. Yeah. And it's basically. Oh, it's the fly bar. The plane bar. Yes. We got hijacked by these terrorists. Yeah.

And we went there. They kind of held it open for us to, after the show, and we were there until maybe three. And, like, they just gave us everything. And so, and Adam, you know, I got there after a while after the meeting, greet, everything. So I was like, oh, whoever's there will be there to say what's up to. But Samu was still there and Adam and Ariadhi. I couldn't leave. He had a hold on me.

I walked by Ari Mati and five, who else? Someone else. He's a strong guy. And I walked by, they were like, what was that? I'm like, I mean, I was enjoying talking to, but I was pretty fucked up, you know? Wow. You got to have the same. Oh, he looks like my illegitimate father.

He does. He really does. Do you think when your kids are older, like Mark for you, like, do you think you'll get into like the, I don't know, 60s, 70s and just be like, all right, I'm going to fucking turn things up a notch on the booze train because I've done my job with the kid. Yes. Right? Yeah, and I'm so good at drinking now and I'll only be better by then.

I know, dude. And maybe there'll be some magic cure all by there. There will be. You know, no hangover, pill, whatever it is. I want to ask you about the Dr. Phil shows. he was telling me Sidney Sweeney's at one of the shows Who are some people that showed up That you were just like

What the fuck are you doing here? Oh bro Well Sidney Yeah so I With the With the Scooter Braun At a Scoopy

At a show Yeah I saw you guys talking about that And I do listen to you guys All the time It's always really funny And you know I love to I just like

Like I don't know Fun silly You guys going tangents Oh yeah You're goofy You're like You can talk about some seriousness

But nothing's too ever heady But so yeah Scooter Braun I met doing a show with Schultz, and he was like, yeah, I showed Sydney, she'd never seen, I guess, any stand-up. Shultz she saw, and then he showed her Dr. Phil, and she was like, I want to go see that live.

And so he hit me up, he was like, when's the next one? I go, the next one is the last one. And so that was like in July, and they marked it on the calendar. And then a few days out, he was like, we're going to come through. Is that cool? And I was like, she doesn't want to come up and do a bit. She has two movies coming out. And he's like, she just wants to watch.

I'm like, that's cool. She's so normal and little. You're like, oh, my God, that's her. this woman I've stared at. Just a big movie star, yeah, pretty crazy. And she's just standing right there. And you know when you see an NBA game and there's like horrors in the front whatever? And they're like, all right, I got to do a 360 dunk and a backflip through my legs.

And they kick it up. I kicked it up a notch because she was there. And I totally got in my head and I felt like I really struggled. No, oh my God. It was all because of this fucking cooze. She got in my head, this blonde bitch. With this sweet. She was sweet.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But very nice lady. She was sweet. But she got in my head and I couldn't think of anything funny. I was like, sweetie's watching, you fucking loser. I know, yeah, trust me.

McConaughey was at our Austin show. We did the Bass Concert Hall, which is on the UT campus. So it was 3,000 pack. We had Big Jay and Thomas Lennon flew out from. He flew out and he's funny. He's so funny, dude. If he's ever around here, you guys should bug me to have him come on here because he's a great. So he hits me up and goes, do you want Lieutenant Dangle?

And I go, I wasn't even thinking of that as an option, but that would be a awesome. And he's like, yeah, I'll bring the outfit. And then you let me know last minute. The short shorts? Bro, it murdered. And we had did a whole surprise video when he came out. And people went nuts. And he murdered. We had Pete Holmes and Casey Rocket and grace. And so after the show, I'm doing the meet and greet. And somebody goes, uh, hey, McConae was in the show. And I go, shut the fuck. He left about an hour and a half in. And I'm like, I'm like, fuck. The show goes like, someone's two and a half hours. Oh, okay. But they, uh... With his family. Yeah. And I'm like, so maybe his kids were, you know, kid. Dude, even 14. and 15-year-olds are watching all our shit on YouTube. You can't have Lieutenant Dangl around a bunch of kids.

Dude, totally. But that was cool. And then I, like an asshole, got real fucked up that night and sent him a message on Instagram the next day being like, heard you wrote the show, blah, blah, blah. Thanks, man. Just left me on scene, baby. I got, oh.

At least he saw it. Well, he's a mysterious. Yeah, he's a mysterious guy. I got wrecked after your, because I felt bad about the bomb and Sweeney hating me. Oh, in the L.A. I got wrecked at that after party, which is a badass bar. He messaged Sidney, you bitch. Yeah, you ruined me, you cut.

But, yeah, we got fucked up at that bar. And I had a 7 a.m. flight. That was the worst flight of my life. You were a rock star, man. He did a great night. I mean, dude, you've, I mean, the Chicago one you did was great. That was killer. Chevy Chase.

Did Chevy come out? Yeah, that was crazy. Guy, he's at, like, so many opportunities to not be a cunt. And he just can't help it. Oh, really? I haven't watched the doc. I mean, I just saw clips, but it's like, you know, there's a woman is like, she's editing it, and he's like, you're an idiot.

Yeah. And it's like, you're calling the person who, who's editing the thing. Like, you've been in showbiz, what, 80 years? I know. You don't know that maybe to be nice to the, I mean, to the fucking editor? It's like being mean to the chef.

He's got a jizz and your shouter. Exactly. Oh, you were asking Mark too about people screaming shit out and like, you know, look, you know, I remember when I saw Chappelle, second season of Chappelle show, I saw I'm in Vegas at Mandalay Bay at the House of Blues,

and he paused the show because people were screaming out Rick James bitch so much. That's a nightmare. And it was just so like, fucking up flow, fucking whatever. and I most of the crowd is upset at these people

for doing that because you're like dude it's obvious like Yeah we're all here from that but like stop It's also not clever You're breaking up all his

Totally And so Yeah I know it I wrote it bitch Exactly And so I'm getting a little bit of that Of like Oh we'll be right back

Or whatever But like this past weekend In Maine somebody just stood up One guy was like Roast me And I was like What he's like

Fucking Fucking Roof me man you should fucking roast me man and uh and so then i just kind of took some time and talked through some stuff tried to gather some info and then and then ended up roasting him pretty good and then he stayed standing so i just tried to ignore him usually i tried to include the distraction to squash the distraction is kind of how i view it where it's like you can't just sometimes ignore you got to like oh yeah welcome it and use him to go into a bit maybe about drinking or something and uh and then

another guy was just like dude biden face and after i done a few bits about biden he was like do the Biden face. I go, you want me to do more? They bring their shit to your show. I got something. Don't worry. It's going to work. And I just like, you know, I've done both sides of the coin where it's like I try to now kill it with kindness not lose my cool because like I've done

that and it's just nobody wins. The crowd, even people that are on your side, in my eyes I'm like you want to keep them on your side as long as possible. And so like to even though it might be justified to just be like dude shut the fuck up. There's still a chunk of people that might be like, well he was just trying to be a fan.

You kill him with kindness. Kill with kindness. And then you keep the crowd on your side for when you have to. Sometimes I just had my last Instagram as a guy going, I did a puzzle today. So I'm doing the whole like, is he autistic or is he a dick? And I had to like walk that line. That happened with me too. And he was autistic.

And he was kind of charming once I got to know. Favorite clip of 2026 so far, dude. Oh, thanks. Oh, man. Yeah. You just, because you were so like everyone was like, yeah, like waiting for you with Bade a breath to like comment on what was happening. I had to. He was like, hello, hello, I did a puzzle.

And I'm like, okay, he goes, can I get a cake now? And I'm like, oh, this guy's a half a tart. But you don't know if he's fucking with you. The Q-tip line, my buddy, speaking of Urkel, Julia White, sent me a video of that video. Oh, good guy. And he was like, he was masterful. Oh, wow, Erkel. Shout out.

Yeah, dude. But the Q-tip line was so funny, dude. He sent me a video of Sidney-Sweeney and wrote Master Bage. Here's a new internet show idea. The drunk heckle guy, film that, then. find that guy two days later and have an interview with him and go, what were you thinking? Let me show you were like in a blackout, ruining a show.

You know what? They're either going to be a dick or they're just not going to be interesting. It's like when Tosh did those web redemptions, right? Oh, yeah. People would do something fucked up. But yeah, those guys, most of the time when people... There's not a lot there. They always...

And then they usually end up, if they sober up, they're like, man, it's either sorry or they double down and it's like, dude, I was just laughing and the security kick me out. You should be able to have. Handler. You're a comedian. Professional comedian. Totally, dude. You should be able to handle me throwing a beer at you. I had a weird one in DC, too. It was just like, he was just weird. He just kept

heckling and that was like, oh, what's it? And he was just lie about everything. I'm like, all right. Cheez. I had a guy throw a wine glass at me once. I was doing a brewery show. Maybe three years in a stand-up. That's not a drink that should make you belligerent. Totally. You're throwing shit from wine? It was in Paso-Robles

and it was... Is that California? Yeah, like wine country. Like maybe, probably two, three hours, like northeast of L.A. and a buddy of mine had worked up there. She was like, I'm going to produce a show up there. Upstairs of this brewery. I'm about three years in, so most of my material is about working at Universal Studios at the time,

doing Wolverine and all that. And so I'm talking about that and how, like, you know, some of the jokes about how I didn't know shit about Marvel comics. So kids would be like, you know, you know, Wolverine, what's your favorite food? And I was like, potato salad, fuck off, you know. And just dumb shit.

And then there was a woman in the corner by herself. And I'm kind of like looking down, thinking of what I'm going to do next. And she goes, she's like, Kim, boy, you give me a kiss. And I was like, oh, should I give her a kiss? So I walk over. And she just licks the side of my face. And I just go, like, all right, what are the three most, like, aggressive STDs?

I can say she just gave me. So I'm like, oh, she just gave me gingeritis, herpes and AIDS, you know? And everyone was like, yeah, dude, this guy's killing it. We're in a brewery. We don't know comedy. We don't get it. So this guy must be great. And then a few minutes later, I'm looking down.

And I see, in my peripheral vision, her holding up her wine glass, because everyone was laughing at me making fun of her. and I didn't have enough time to like clock like as I just see this and as I'm like in my head looking down I'm like she's picking up her wine glass and before I can like totally turn to look I just see that whoa and so I swear to God dude I just like I kind of put my hands up like that to go like no and the base of the wine glass I swear to God hits my palm and it's just sweaty enough from being hot up there to where like like the it almost suction stuck for like hit my palm in the perfect way that it's just sweaty enough from being hot up there to where like like the it almost suction stuck for like hit my palm in the perfect way. And I can probably 10, 15 feet away to wear it kind of like inside the inside of my fingers, whatever, it stuck just enough for me to wrap my fucking hand around it. So I fucking palm the wine glass out of midair. And then when I did it, I turn, I look at it, and then I just went, ha!

And everybody goes, ha! And then I walked over, set it on a table, and I go, I told you, bitch, I'm Wolverine. Don't fuck with me. And bro, bro, after that, and I get off after that. I probably had 10 more minutes, but I was like, good night, Pat, Mr. Blase. I get off stage, immediately, dude.

dude, shoot, shots, shots. Now I'm like a fucking local hero. Yeah. And like, I'm getting shots. And I haven't really yet, like, drank on the road. So this is my first taste of like, you know, having a good set. And then, you know, it's usually open mic.

So I'm like, fuck, man. Like I did, you know, 15 minutes and like ended on that. And then I went down. This one couple was like, dude, you want to smoke weed? I was like, hell yeah. I go down. I'm in the back of their little like two door soup or something. And I'm in the back.

They get in a big fight. So I'm trying to like squeeze out. But there was no extra door for me to, so they were fighting. So they were fighting. I'm in the back just high and drunk. And he was like, you fucking, this is why I fucking hit you. I mean, he was just saying crazy shit. He pulled the gun out.

You're like, we're trying to catch this bullet. I'm trying to get out. And I end up getting out. And I go back to the, I think we're at a Hilton Garden Inn. And I was so fucked up. And I grabbed like a couple of stovers, lasagnas from the hotel snack lounge. And I go upstairs. And I was rooming with the other comic.

Will Clifton was his name. And he was in the military and super funny dude. And we're sharing a room. And he was still out. And I am so fucked up. that I like get into the shower fully clothed because I was just like, it was a bad night where I was like, I need to just like,

maybe just get wet, but I didn't have the energy to take my clothes up. So I get in the shower and I'm leaning up against the shower like this. Eyes closed. I wake up with my legs getting undercut from the tub hitting my head on the ground. What the fuck?

Will at this point is in the fucking room and he's got this deep Kansas City accent and he goes, he goes, oh shit, brother, what's going on there, man? And I go, and again, shame, like I said from earlier, of just like the guy catching me dancing in my patio. Instead of being like, I'm fucked up

coming and help me. I was like, I'm just shaving, man. And he goes, and he goes, brother, there's water coming underneath the fucking door. And I'm like, yeah, I'm just shaving, man, mind your business. He's like, all right, man, I get back in the shower. Mind your business. Leaning up against the shower like I lost a big game. Fall asleep again.

Fall out of the shower. I mean, dude, that probably could have been the enemy. Dude, that's how William Holden died. The actor from Sunset Boulevard. Hitting his head on the... He was a 60-year-old fucking drubing. drunk and he just slipped on a rug, hit his head, and bled out. Oh.

That's how they fucking... By the way, huge wreck. Billy Wilder, Cameron Crow book. That's where I found that out. Oh, there you go. Wow. Yeah, dude. So that I fall out.

Crazy. That's dangerous as fuck. And then I get up and then I, uh, I, yeah, open the door, sopping wet, just fall asleep. No, then I tried to open one of the stovers. Microwave wouldn't work. So I just threw it against a window, smacked the window. So the window is cracked. And then I go down the lobby next morning.

and I'm checking out and I'm like hey thanks a lot guys and then I go up by the way shower's great you know whatever he's trying to make a comment and then the guy goes whoa Mr. Ray right he goes yeah he goes he needs you go ahead and pay for the stofer's that you stole last night for a hotel snack on I was like oh really he's like yeah yeah he's like I don't know if you want to see the security footage

of you walking and fucked up just grabbing like nine lasagnas and go in your room and then he goes oh and then he goes yeah totally and then he goes and the window you're going to have to put a load deposit for it's like you threw your fucking casserole at the window Oh my Lord. Well, hopefully this story gets longer. That's fucking crazy.

Just do long pause. I was trying to fill the dead air. And you kiss that fucking crazy. This night had so many beats. I know. You have the best night of your life. That's what's weird about God. You have this amazing night with a catch in the bottle, the drinking, and all you want to do is blackout.

Isn't that weird? You should be sitting there remembering it and enjoying it. Were you riding the wave, the adrenaline? Like, there's nowhere for that to go. So you're like, I'll just keep fucking rocking. You're right. Yeah. That was my point with the, I know, it was a long story.

I'm sorry. But people probably tuned out as soon as I said That's a great story Hey guys, happy to be here But no, but just My point was like Getting, writing that high of like people The adrenaline of people being like

You're the man So then you're just like Dude whatever you want me to do I'll do it now You know, you want me to steal lasagna From the Hilton Garden Well as much as we bitch about content You gotta have clips and filming

Imagine if that was on tape You'd be Fluffy Oh, catching the You'd be the biggest comic in the world That's some superhero shit Yeah, wild dude That is bad.

And you know, it's so funny. And then the yin'yang of it all is in like, you know, that was on a Saturday. And then Monday I'm back wearing the claws. Oh, that's hilarious. And he's like, you know, why, why you have to wear fake ads, you know? It's funny that your superhero identity is the boring one. The real you is fucking catching wine.

What was her reaction when you caught that? I mean, she was black out. Yeah. She was just blackout. There's probably a picture of me. That's fucking dangerous. In the Wolverine suit online. I know.

She could have cut your face open at you on stage? I've had a bottle thrown at you on stage? I've had a. a beer mug, like a pint, but never a bottle. That comic Ariel remember that was cool as fuck. Kimmo put her on like shortly after that.

Yeah, they threw a beer at her and she picked it up and drank it. I was like, oh, I love that. That was pretty badass. Very cool. That went crazy. Such a crazy thing to even still be in a time where, and I guess with the amount of wild shit that happens on a daily basis,

nothing should surprise anyone, but like to be in a crowd and to throw... Unreal. I remember when I first started getting into the same, but the idea of like, they'll throw a tomato at you or something. But, like, to actually throw something from the crowd is crazy. To the person who's trying to entertain you on a show you paid for, you know, psycho.

But it's usually a heckler who's added responses in their shit face and that's all they got left. Yeah. Damn, Will Smith, we're talking about you. He's got a new show going out called, like, North Pole, Pole, or Plug My Bud. Oh, pole to Pole, which is the gayest title of all the time. Now, Plug My Bud is his wife's show. Hey, there is. I can't tell if that was me or him.

I got blended together. Look, he's got jizz in his mustache. Fall to Paul. He's just jumping old, dude. Look at Will Smith. I'm not a fan. I don't like seeing that. This is crazy.

It happens. Do you know Will Smith? No. Seems like that you would know. No, I mean, I guess Neil Brennan knows him well. That's probably my closest connect. Yeah, yeah. He knows all the blackness.

Neil was at the store after the Oscar thing, and Neil was like telling stories about talking to him. I think he. Yeah. I remember exactly what he said, but he was just, yeah, he was kind of, Will was kind of reaching out to Neil being like, did you see it? And like, what do you think type thing? And Neil was like, very bad. Like, you, oops, should be.

Are you not hearing from anyone? And he loves Chris Rock, too. They're friends. Yeah, dude. Yeah, totally. And it's also, I mean, it does suck that, like, I remember pre-Oscar slap, too. He was, like, getting into YouTube a lot. I know.

And he did a really cool thing. And he was having Alfonso Ribero, like, do a lot of things with him to where I was like, just as a fan, you're like, hell yeah, they should be fucking trying to jam on some content. And he did a thing where he bungee jumped into the Grand Canyon. Do you ever see that? No, pull it up. And it was a whole live stream thing.

And it was a big, and it was. But Will Smith was just so fucking fun and cool to where I was like, this isn't him doing, climbing the skyscraper with that guy's doing on Netflix, but it's. That's, I mean, well, that's fucking Alfonso Rivera is one of the most talented guys ever. He doesn't get into it. So likeable, dancing, singing. He's a phenom, that kid. So he, like, he was, and just the fact that he was, yeah, I mean, this was, as a whole family here.

And then, so now I just see a preview for pull to pole. And my head immediately goes to the Oscars. And I just kind of go like, yeah, you know. Yeah, poor guy. Well, he fucked up. Isn't that crazy? He didn't want, like, what are you? I remember watching, and I know he probably talked about this.

I was watching it live. You were watching live? Yeah, with the wife. And we were like, what? He thought it was a joke, right? Remember they, like, tried to edit it and shit, but Twitter picked it up. Well, you know, it's so funny. I was on speakerphone with my wife and I was getting ready to go meet.

them and and I'm watching and she goes uh I go wait I go can you just be quiet for one second Chris Rock's on and this is the only part I really care about the show because it's here's a comedian probably about to make jokes yeah and and so uh mom's speakerphone with her and listening and then it happened and then I was like huh that's a weird bit and then I was like I think will Smith just hit Chris Rocker she goes what and I go go online so like I don't see anything and then when it cut back to him and he was like screaming and like you're what my my fuck I'm not. Then I was like, oh, this is not a bit. This is probably, and then literally like 10 seconds later, she's like, oh, yeah, this is everywhere.

Yeah. The speed of that, too. Isn't that crazy, dude? Crazy. And Schumer was hosting, and she went on after. Oh, yeah. Did I miss something? It was like some, she had some line. Oh, yeah. That's funny. Man, that form is immaculate.

It's a perfect slap. The form, slap and the follow-through. It was like royalty, you know? I wonder if, you know, how the way that, you know, whether it's on a podcast or a show, you're like, oh, I wish I had said this. Like, do you think Chris Rock, Chris Rock definitely did that. Oh, yeah.

Well, he know he got his comeuppance. When Dave Chappelle got tackled at the Hollywood Bowl by the trans guy, and he goes, was that Will Smith? And the place went nuts. Yeah, that's right. And he had a bunch of great jokes about it in the special. When he said he wanted to watch that slavery movie with Will Smith again just to see his ass get whipped. That was hilarious. That was a great joke.

That's fun. Poor guy. Poor guy, I know. Come on. Gave us so much to be happy about. What a bummer, dude. Tickets were, you know, it's like a $100 ticket to see Chris Rock, but after that, there was like $500 to see Chris Rock.

It's also like, think about the things you have to do to, like, to go out of your way to fuck your image up. Like Robert, Robert Downey Jr. Only harmed himself. And so the comeback, I think, was warranted, right? Because he wasn't, like, you know, doing pedophilia shit. He was just, you just fucking himself up. And, like, right?

And then so people were, like, rooting for him to come back. But, like, it's like, Will Smith. Like, maybe he would have had an Alec Baldwin screaming at your daughter voicemail or a Hasselhoff burger on the floor. He just shoot a lady in the face. Don't forget about that. Bro. He's a nice.

Another crazy story. Wow. That woman, so the apartment complex I was telling you that with the pool and the thing, there's a girl who lived in my apartment who worked at the comedy store for a little bit. And after that happened, she goes, she goes, it's so crazy about that shooting. Right. I go, yeah, it's fucking wild. She goes, yeah, we would see her every day.

And I go, what? We would see her every day. I forget her name, unfortunately. Oh, the Rust lady. Yes. Oh, wow. So her, and then I go, wait, the woman and blah blah, blah, and I'm putting together, I go with the little kid and the husband, they were in the pool like every day.

So then I go, I saw them for fucking five years every day, tons of like, hope you don't get shot by Alkbal? And, you know, like, I wouldn't do that. That's so fucked up. But I would see her a lot. And I was like, no fucking way. Like, why? They were like the sweetest, like they had a little kid and like always in the pool and like, oh, man. Epstein jogging all around Manhattan.

be like, he's a nice man. Yeah, he's working out. That's not true. Do you think someone's got some stories like that? Dude, I once was at a Burger King, and they had just run out of Whoppers, and Epstein had two, and he gave me one. Do you think there's any of those going around? I saw Cosby at Sleepy's.

He was trying to make. I mean, if it was a 12-year-old at Burger King, he might have given her a Woffer. You want to see my crown? All right. Burger King came in hot with the crowns for a bit. McDonald's didn't have an answer. No. True.

We can move on from this. All right. All right. I love it. Man, we got three good improvisers here. What are they going to talk about? That Burger King Crown, we've got to tackle that real quick. What have you guys not hit on the pod?

We hit it all, baby. I did love that crown. Saliskees wants to direct. How about some peeves? Hey, he enjoys it. I got a few. I got some peaves. Please.

Oh, you start us off then. Ooh. Pet peeve, man. Well, this is probably one that's pretty common and shared amongst most travelers. but hey man um getting off the plane if you're rows behind you wait your turn you don't crush i literally just told a story about veter with this wait wait wait wait see the people you're getting you get out by row i'm row seven someone's in row nine that's horrible and they unless there's a connect flight that they're going to miss then you give them the but now i'm getting real suss and i was on a

flight recently and a guy and a gal said they had to make a connection and they rushed off and i see him getting coffee right when i get off the plane and i walked by and i go look making a connection because I'm a dickhead. Good for you. And the guy turns around like this and I just going Like, wow. It's like I got to do something. Like citizens arrest, what am I going to go up and go?

Hey man, that was fucked up. But like, you know, you pulled a fast one because you didn't think anyone was going to call you out for it. It's also like you did it for airport coffee? Yeah. That's your fucking end game? Yeah. I have to stick my leg out in the aisle now

because people are trying to come up quick and you got to stop them. You tripped an old lady. Yeah. Fuck her. Also pet peeve. People that don't say thank you when you hold the door for. one. That's a big one. That's a small one, but

to me, it's like, there's two types of people. Manners. People that say thanks and people that don't. Then it's just like a, even if you're on the phone, give me a hey, you know, give me something or a you know, give me the fucking Kramer. And, well, the Kramer, but give me one of the thank you, yeah. Point at me. And

but it says a lot about you if you just like think you were, I don't know, deserving of the door hold or whatever. I agree. But just like, it's a small, it's also a quick way to just show your gratitude to another human being. It's easy, it's free. Kindness is free, dude. Yeah, here, here.

Where you at with letting ladies out of the elevator first? I think out of the elevator first. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I do that too, and people kind of like, give me like side eye for it now. What? Yeah. Ordering first at restaurants, I'm big on that too.

He just wanted to show off what a chivalrous guy he was. I just, the type of guy I am, I let him off. Oh, my God. I just let them off. What's ordering first? I don't know that. Letting the gals order first. I order four women.

That's what a gentleman. Oh, there we go. I say you'll have nothing. She'll have nothing. She'll have the ice cube. Yeah. How about, here's a peeve. Ooh, this one got me.

The hotel check-in call. I'm my do not disturbs up. I'm trying to nap. I get the call. How you doing? Oh. What are we old friends? Oh, the W does that.

Hello, hello. How's it? We just want to make sure everything's good for you. I'm trying to fucking sleep. Why do you call me? I just assume it's fine. And if I call to complain. Exactly.

I'm a Jew. hear from me. Something's bad. I will say, I stayed in Miami at a hotel recently and they would say, if you need anything, just text us. And you know, you get these random text, like, whatever. And then you go, you know what? I need a towel. I need a coffee maker. And they would bring it right up. So the text wasn't bad.

But it's that disturbing. But, dude, the landline. Because like, when's the last time any of us had a fucking landline? That hotel's the only time you have a landline. That's true, yeah. What do you guys ask for? Like, mini-frids? Is there something crazy that you've asked for? You called down for? No, I just say, can you clean the room? It's crazy in here. That shit. I don't want to be disturbed.

I want to just chill. Yeah. Well, I just leave. I get coffee and I go, can you clean the room? And they do it. Ooh, here's another peeve. It's a minor one.

It's not that big a deal. But the hotel is where it takes two elevators to get out. Oh! I got to go to three for the fucking front desk. I'm going to take another one to get out. I'm like, what is this? The fucking escape room? You got to start staying at Lakeinta ends, man.

It's just one floor. Do like a lake in a lot of fucking homeless. I'm a stairs guy. I can do the stairs in a hotel. Love this. Who are you, Swartston? Swartson? If you're on the third floor,

he took the stairs. He's more on the 16th floor. Swordson walked, he took the stairs. He's scared of elevators. He won't take elevator. No way. Yeah, it's hurt his career. I got to peeve for you. The guy who suggests something in the moment and waits for you to do it.

Like he's like the aggressive suggestor. So I'm eating tortilla soup with a couple of people. And one guy goes, oh, dude, you know what's great with tortilla soup. You got to put the sour cream like a dollop on the top. And I'm like, oh, okay. I'm not a sour cream guy, but he's like, dude, it's so good. And I'm like, I like the soup.

I'm good with the soup, and he's like, yeah, sour, let's get some sour cream in here. And he gets like a cup of sour cream. And he's like, okay. And I'm like, what are we doing here? I don't want the sour cream. I'm trying to be nice to like, oh, yeah, one day I'll try that. But he made me try it.

So I had to go. You caved. I caved. You caved to this fucking pushy guy. It was getting awkward. I was like, okay. Yeah. And people let me eat how I want to eat.

I know. You got to try it like this. Oh, yeah, maybe I will. Then he's like, no, no, no, you've got to do it. And then he's waiting for me to be like, right? Right? I hated this guy. How about TSA going through your bag?

Do you ever bring food on the plane or no? Are you guys against that? Food? Yeah. What do you bring? Food? What do you bring? What do you got out of?

One of those bags from the grocery store? I love those. I'm saying those are terrible. Oh, is that right? With the plastic bag. That's fucking gone. One time, every now and then, I'll bring a breakfast breedo if it's super early. Not like a tuna sandwich.

That's not too crazy, is it? Tuna's aggressive on a flight. Tuna's aggressive, but it was a brito. And the guy opened my bag and held it up in the sack and he was like, who, somebody's hungry? And I was just like, all right, dude, I know what was going to get fat shamed of fucking security checkpoint. Somebody's hungry. I think it's okay to bring a breakfast burrito. I mean, if you look like that still, you can't bring shit on a plane.

Yeah, the TSA is like, let me walk you to your gate. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's a question. Sure. You're a chosen one? Yeah. A he?

a Jew, Jaime, whatever. Maybe the most hidden of the comedian Jewish-Sounding Jews. Well, Ray is not a Jewish sounding name.

Wait, who? Who's the most hidden? She was funny. She was good. We go, hey, ding, ding, ding, we got one here. You know, other people,

hey, Seinfeld, whatever, obvious, David Tell. By the way, the worst games for the Holocaust. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Fuck! They got me. You win a train ride.

Oh, man. But you kind of, you're from Seattle, last name Ray, you're a big sports guy, you drink heavily, you hide it well. By the way, I'm all these things too, except Seattle. Yeah, good point. Yeah, I don't know. Well, Ray's not.

And your hair is straight. Yeah. Yeah, you're pretty well hidden. Ray's not, that's my dad's last name and he's not a Jew. You could have Kaiser associated your way out of a concentration camp. Totally. I think Josh Wolf is up there as a hidden Jew. Wow, but Wolf is usually a Jewish name.

Oh, is that right? Not always, but I mean, Michelle Woolf. not, but... Right, right. But he's got a trucker hat on and, like, you know, a country band shirt. Yeah. So he hides it.

I should probably be trying to use it more to my advantage of that. No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying... You don't have to point like that when you do. No, no. Jesus Christ. Who else is a hidden Jew?

I love my opinion. Like, you haven't used it enough. Paul Rudd. Great one. Wow, yeah. Let's go. Californac has called him out. No, I mean, it's a joke.

As a joke. Yeah, yeah. He wasn't called the police. Yeah. The Gestapo. Yeah, just saying. Have you guys been to a apartment forever? Did you go to one growing up?

Of course, I had one. I've never been to one. I just went to my nieces a few weeks ago. It was fun. It was fun, right? It was a party, yeah. They are. Not a lot of chicks, though.

No. They're all very young. Yeah. Yeah. The, I remember going to the first one. The one I had was fine. Like, I remember my, you know, I just, my mom was like, you can't invite. Yeah, that was the kid.

I mean, that kid's Asian. He looked Filipino. I don't know. Is that crazy? There was a girl named Jamie, I'm going to say her full name, Jamie Davidson, and she wore, she pressured me into inviting her. My mom was like, you can't invite everyone in the sixth grade class. We had three sixth grade classes.

And so I, you know, invited the people. And there were two girls that made fun of me for being fat all the time. And it turned into like this end of the year party. It was like a big thing. It was Adam's Bar Mitz in the sixth grade because there was nothing going on. And it was like right a week before school got out. And everybody kind of one day, we didn't have parties. So it was like, oh, fucking party and barmen.

It was like, we're going to this fucking Jew. They're blowing lines off Lachkas. Yeah, dude, yeah. The rabbi is going to cut everyone's dick for free. And so these two girls got in front of me and were like, why aren't we going here by my mens fat? And I was like, you guys fucking make fun of me for being fat. And they were just like, we were joking. I was like, well, I'm not about you coming.

And they didn't go. And then Jamie Davidson, though, cornered me and was like, where's my invite? And I go, oh, it must have gotten lost. And she was so sweet. And I think on the spectrum. And I said, you know, for sure, she showed up in a, this is a sixth grade, 95. Everyone's wearing, like the guys are in these fucking cheap men's warehouse suits or fucking Timo or whatever. You wear a suit to that?

To a barmets for yeah. Oh, damn. He should. Or she's a sport coat. And the girls were all like in like, you know, just like a hometown buffet dresses from the gift shop. Sure. And then Jamie Davis shows up in a fucking Jessica Rabbit fucking like silky. And my aunt Shirley, RIP, Shirley was a gangster.

She goes, who invited the whore? Whoa. And I remember like, yeah. And she was out there dancing by herself a lot. ripping it up and like a little like she was putting on a show and like some of the dads probably were yeah we had a character artist but that was about the extent of the activities and then I went to a bot mitzvah for a kid I met from a different temple in an area of Seattle where there was a lot more money and dude I mean they go all out it was wild dude I mean like it's like a sweet 16

yeah it was like the member MTV sweet 16 when you see these like rich person kids and like usher's what yeah yeah that was a great show Wait, what did you say? No, not the matter. Well, dude, plug some fucking dates. Where are you going to be? So the theater tours off and rocking and this, whenever this comes out, Adam Raycombe.com for all the tickets.

YouTube.com slash Adam Raycom for all the Dr. Phil's. And doing a little Netflix pod stuff is happening. I'm going to do like a 26 episode, I guess Adam Ray. Basically be the Adam Ray show, but it's going to be characters and me doing pods. So I guess that'll be out soon. How did you get that? them to do the Dr. Phil? Who? Netflix? Because they're pretty

tight-lipped. Oh, yeah, dude. I mean, yeah, I paid them. But no, it was, I mean, it happened very fast. It was like two weeks out. We basically Phil's son hit me up on Instagram and was like, hey, I'm Phil's son. Phil's my dad. And I was like, yeah, I got that from the first thing he said.

And then he was like, my dad, we should get him on your show. And we went back and forth a bunch. And then I was like, what about, I just kept throwing him dates. And I was almost like, fuck, we only about five more on the calendar for the comedy store. I was like, what about September? And we had Fluffy and Jay Farrell and Pat Nosswell for that.

And he was like, yeah, I think I can do that. So then we hit up Netflix and it was about two weeks out. And we just quickly did the paperwork and got the cameras. Fluffy bailed out because I think it was just, you know, Netflix, I think maybe he wanted, because you know, just give like a whatever the pay is for that. And you didn't want to do it. And but Phil was super cool about it. And I mean, to improvise the special, I guess, was wild.

But like, you know, I trusted myself enough. to be able to hang with him. Oh, yeah. And he was a good sport. God bless him. I mean, he gets, he shows up and he's like, yeah, I've watched a lot of this on YouTube. It's pretty funny.

He goes, now it's your show, but I'm going to fuck with you. And I go, well, I know you better than you know yourself, motherfucker. And, you know, he was, yeah, he was just silly, dude. I mean, I love it. I've never even seen, like, a full, I've probably seen five minutes of an actual Phil episode. So, but everyone, I think what everybody, you know, overall probably, like, connected with it is like, he's enough of a guy where you go, all right, I've

seen him like he gives advice he's a little abrasive you know he's got sound bites where it's like you know you're kind of a you're i didn't come 90% of the way to get 10% of the information sam he's got enough of those like there's two sads to a pancake but then he's also kind of a twat where it's like he'll kind of like chop you out in front of your family and like embarrass you because you need to be humbled so having that i think in the in the you know in the uh at the forefront i think people were like uh you know receptive to least me fucking around but he was a good sport man yeah they were nuts when he came out which was like that's the other thing too it's like what if we get him out and everyone was just like we thought it was going to be fluffing what

if he just phoned it in you're like yeah I'm relying on him bringing the heat what if this was his way of being like I'm going to shut it down yeah he's like you think you're fucking funny dude yeah hey Adam stop you know we won't be rub back that would have been great too yeah yeah well we like to see celebrities be able to take a joke you know man that's the thing too is like who was I talking to him I've been Santino early on he was like yeah dude enjoy it like I can't see this guy having a good sense of humor about it. And then, you know, thank God. Because, you know, yeah, you don't fucking know.

Like there's, it's also he's not, this is a new thing. It's not like he's been paired. He's been parrity on, I think, like on SNL, Mad TV, but not, you know, in a way like this. And in a way, you're hocking the book. You got the book on the stool and it's, uh, my eyeballs. I would always go to, you know, it's like a running bit if somebody would say something like, you know, I think we did it on your episode too. It was, um, uh, in Chicago when, or no, the first time you did the L.A. one with Pimple

Popper and Bert? Yes. Where you thought the pimple pop was real and you walked off stage. Yeah, it was so gross. That was incredible, man. That was a great show. She was back there taking shots with everybody. She was super going pretty hot.

Come on, man. Yeah, Slaving it. You know pimple popper? I don't know. Pull her up. Find that clip actually, too. Tight scrubs. It was it was pinballper on Phil, but it was

Sandy Ganto. Can we pause this for one sec? I'm going to fucking piss. Yeah, go, go. Sorry. Sorry, you guys are trying to wrap up. Uh-oh. Oh, you should add that

to your impression. I'm dying. Oh, yeah. He's buzz real quick. I got a fucking bitch real quick. You make him full New York, like, Abby in the 80s. Well, here's the thing. It's like when someone's regular, his regular voice is just, you know, we went to the Knicks game.

Well, Vita, if Vita said, you know, there's a way just to talk, like, down the link, but it's more fun to put, like a little more charactery, like. Sure, of course. Yeah, of the Knicks game. And we forget a little bit of Rodney in there, too, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, there it is. Do you mean this or the actual? Yeah, no, that was it.

This is the scene, but we're talking about the lady, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. What's that guy's name again? Sandy Danto. Sandy Danto. Yeah, Mark. You were, bro. We were drinking hard.

I mean, I was hung over. It was a crazy weekend. Bro, that fest, this was like, I think, towards the end or the middle of the fest. Yeah, two years ago. Yeah, look, you put the mic down. You were like, fucking, I'm out. There's Bert. Mark walked off, dude.

I couldn't handle it. Because the goo is what got me, that pus. And you didn't see this. Oh, come on. It was macaroni. Oh, macaroni. What was the goo? Cheese?

Yeast? I don't know. Yeah, it was something. Oh, that's a great. That's a comic right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Celebrate. Yeah, dude.

The real field can't kick like that. Yeah, dude. Yeah, he was slow moving when he came out, too. I think he was 74. Really? Whoa. Does that Dr. Pimple Popper should take that from the Seinfeld reference? Is that?

Oh, good question. That's in a Seinfeld episode. Probably. Good question. You guys are going to come out for the Netflix Fest, right? Oh, hell yeah. We're all going. We're going to do some pods out there, try to get some real handisters.

Wow, yeah, good call. Yeah, there's people out there that, I guess, I mean, that's the crap shoot of doing the pod, right? It's like trying to book and scheduling and whatever. But if you're out there for, hopefully you guys stay for a few weeks. Eh, a few weeks. A few days. What are you crazy? I got a kid.

Try to get Letterman, Jim Carrier or something like that? Oh, Letterman would be amazing. Rachel Ray. Tony Harding. Yeah. Paul of Dean. Who knows? Jim Carrey is like, I mean, when people always say like, who did you want to feel?

I mean, Conan and I tried so hard to get. His assistant son I went to college with, so I had a direct line. He seems like you would love that. That's so shocking. Just the timing. It was just every time I hit her with a date, it was like he's got his own show or function or something. But yeah, the ultimate. But Jim Carrey too.

Or Sandler fucking. Oh, yeah. Or Jamie Fox or like, you know, just guys that are like. Great. Bit guys, you know. What about you guys, dream guests for the pot? And then I'll go to do it. We got a Charlie Sheen we want.

He hasn't done it. No, we'd love to get a... He'd love to come and he. Yeah, we just... I don't know how we missed that shit. He didn't do Theos, did he? I don't know. Who?

No, Sheen, no. I think we scare a lot of people away with the title, whether, like, I'm sober. I don't want to drink on here. I don't know if you show that documentary. Yeah. I'm not really anymore. That dog was wild, though.

Wild. It was weird. You don't like it? It was entertaining, but part of me was like, I feel like it went like a little soft on him. Yeah, that's what, that's the new way now. You wanted them to go harder on his what? Like they had to Eddie Murphy dock.

They didn't bring up the trans hooker. Yeah, I feel like the docs, yeah, they're just, they're clearly produced by the people. Right, right, right, right. So the questions aren't as hard hitting. Yeah. I thought, what's Denise Richards saved it or stole it. She's a fucking, she's a cool lady.

Classic. I like her. She's like, oh, these hookers are hungry. Stanford will add a show. in Stanford late Thursday and we'll add a show in Providence late Thursday and then I'm fucking, I'm done, dude. I'm taping a special and fucking. Oh, yeah, Mazel.

Oh, yeah, I'm doing Rosemont and I think that's sold out. Maybe not. I don't know. But then I'm doing a special Tampa Theater, February 27 sold out. So please buy for February 26. Tampa, baby. Gonna be fun. New special.

Mark States. Hey, hey, New Jersey. We're adding a show on Thursday. So come on out to that San Antonio, baby. L-O-L-L almost sold out Tulsa. Never played there. Great club. Really?

Shout out to the Bricktown. Yeah. Great club. You're going to love it. You're going to rip. I'm pumped. It's got a great setup for all the shit. You're not jammed up.

Cool green room. Oh, I can't wait. All right. Great room. Flagstaff and Swarita. Thanks for the shout-out Doug Stanhope. That was nice. Indianapolis, Buffalo, and Lexington, Kentucky, Providence, Rhode Island, all kinds of good stuff.

Mark Normancombe. Go to punch up. Get some bodega cat. Where are you Ray-Ready? When does this come up again? 25. This episode drops on the Sunday? Yes, sir.

Great. So Albany, if you haven't come out to the show, hey, thanks for... All right, Seattle. Yeah, Seattle, I'm doing a show with Cal Raleigh in Seattle. Whoa. You're the fucking sports guy out there, dude. I presented his breakout star of the year. Yeah.

I went to Vegas to present the Sports Illustrator Award for him, and we just played Blackjack and drank all night, and he was like... And I roasted the Mariners last year, so I got to know him and some of the other guys, and he was like, we got to do a show. You know, these guys, they want to... You become their connection. to the biz. And so I hit up

the 5th Ave in Seattle and we're going to do that on Wednesday. And it's all going to charity but it's me and him and like I said hopefully a few other music guys that he better might pop through

which I think I said. And then yeah the mothership and then Detroit and then Minnesota, February and then we got South Carolina, North Carolina Vegas first time in a theater in Vegas.

The win. The win is nice. Have you guys done it? Yeah, very sexy. So what up to Dylan for me, man. Good dude. Let's go.

And then yeah, Chesterfield. what, Denver, Paramount, Carnegie and Monhall, Pennsylvania. All these new spots. Man, you got the Netflix Fest. You are cooking. A few clubs in between. Then doing some hard rocks in Florida in July, and then probably tape something around in.

Hell yeah, Fetty. Got to go, yeah. Wow. Then we got Australia. Australia and New Zealand is all June. Wow. And that's three fills and then a bunch of stand-up. You're going to tape this puppy?

We tape what? This is our at some point. Yeah, probably June or July. Okay, great. I'd like to see this stand-up. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's... And you post it.

a ton, by the way. Your clips are great, the heckle stuff. Yeah. I mean, it's so funny, like, the, you know, topical bits I'll maybe put up. Like, I put, like, there was a moment when Caroline Levitt, you know, was saying, and it was, I guess at the height of the Epstein files, too, so I was like, oh, if something pops up to, like, riff on, maybe put it out there, or even just do. It's one thing I learned from Gerardo, too, when I hosted for him once in Irvine improv. Favorite comic of all the time. He's one of the best time. And he was just so, I just was such a, I was always trying to get people on his stand-up train because everybody was just like, oh, great

roast guy. And I was like, he's fucking brilliant. Yeah. And he was able to kind of just hit the right angle. He never got like pandery or preachy. Yeah. It was joke. Yeah. Good joke. And he, but he told me he was like, I was like, do you got any like writing tips? He's like talking about how like he'd read the paper a lot and try to write topical stuff because, yeah, it might have a shelf left, but it got

him to form an opinion and a point of view quicker because he was like, oh, I read a new story and then go, oh, what do I think about this? Yes. Like he had that one joke that it was kind of Evergreen where he'd do the, you know, he's like, there's a new story. A guy fell off a cruise ship, or a guy jumped off a cruise ship. He'd been struck by lightning 17 times, then got married, got in a fight with his wife, and jumped off the cruise ship. He goes, even God himself couldn't kill this man. And he was like, send in the experts. But it was like a joke that he could do all the time, but it was based on something that he really read. And so I definitely

tried to apply that for a little bit. That's an Evergreen. Yeah. I mean, I think from Good Day to Cross the River, which is one of my favorite albums. Oh, unbelievable. Yeah. But yeah, So putting up like Crowler clips, so that's the thing that always sucks too when I guess I got to find a little bit more of a balance between some bits and Crower because I'm just like, I don't want to burn the bit. I'm like, I'll just put the Crowler clip up and come to the show. Some people are like, is this all you do?

I'm like, no, come to the show to see the hour. I know, seriously. I was like, no, not giving it all away for free. Yeah. Come see the show. Yeah. Oh, I had another great Gerald. Then we'll get out of here.

He had that great bit. Another news story. He's like, he's reading the news story. And he had a guy, he burned his genitals in the shower. He's like, hell of a way to test the water, huh? Yeah, yeah. Or, uh, what's it? Um, uh, I was on the subway there a day,

and the sky screams across the tracks. Yo, Monica! You got age, yo. He goes, wow, that's how they tell you. Yeah. And then the tag, that Michael Moore is right. We really do have the worst health care in the fucking world. I love that you guys know that, dude. Oh, I was at that, I was in the fucking front row of that taping.

No way. Yeah. We loved Gerald, dude? I remember Mark and I were in the back of comics watching him headline once, and we were just like, we were like high five and after the jokes. for like young ass comics. What would he be doing right now? Podcasts or...

Oh, he'd have the best political stuff. Right? He'd be going on all the shows and just ripping it. He was phenomenal. He was phenomenal. He'd be on this pod. We wouldn't be able to keep up with him. I get it probably because he did so many pilots that I guess didn't work out.

But now because with pods and touring, that could maybe be enough for him, right? Oh, yeah. Definitely. He'd be a legend. Yeah, he was a legend. But, you know, I think he would have just kept... He had that show. Remember that newsy kind of show with Lewis Black or what was that as a root of all evil?

That was Lewis's show. He was just always on. Oh, he was always on. Okay. Yeah, he was great on that. Well, he was a lawyer, and you had to be a lawyer on that show. Yes, you had a debate. Yeah.

Yeah, he was a beast. So I want to leave us on the table here before we go. Yeah. Have you been working on your Sam impression? Oh, good question. So I was just talking with Mark when you were off, I got to pee real quick. I just get a fucking pee on it. So the laugh I was doing that you guys...

I have a little move from The Simpsons, I guess. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I was saying, like, your regular voice is so deep, so it's like, so a Initially, I always want to take something in, like, you know, getting the voice perfect is fine or whatever. But it's, like, if you can, like, heighten it a little bit. So that's why my, my, my, my, my, my, my, I, uh, my, uh, my, uh, my, my, uh, my, uh, my, my, uh, my, uh, my, uh, my, uh, my, my, uh, my, uh, my, uh, my, uh, my, uh, my, uh, the, uh, you, do this, do, you do do, you do do this, you know, you go, you go, you go, you go, well, I mean, son, you know, a, You go like this, you go, you go, well, I mean, you know, a carrot top has never eaten a carrot, you know.

Like, you do have like the, like, but it was a pretty good. Gary Vee, it is white, you know, or, you know, Gary V does have HPV. But there's, but the laugh, Tino would break it right now. But the laugh, the laugh I was doing, too, your laugh, I think you're actual, you do have like that. That's dead on. But it's more, it is a little higher, I think, too, when it's a genuine, like. Wow. Like, it's a little.

But it's a good laugh, too. I flattered. It only stuck out because it's infectious. When I was watching some episode, Jurganov, it was, you know, that's the thing, too, is like, man, you see pods, and that's another reason, you know, last compliment, but you guys are always, like, goofing and making each other laugh. And that's, you know, and Mark just going, oh, yeah, oh, man, whoa, you know, you're always fucking chimery chew and then, like, leaning back, and then.

Ever since the Rizzler's been doing it. That shit. Oh, man. That was so fucking funny. when he sat on your lap. Jesus. Oh, yeah. Great comedy instinct there, Salak.

He's getting the fucking studio shut down. Who suggested that? Fucking dip shit over here. Nice, dude. Of course you did. Maybe get on his lap for a clip. Oh, man. I ran a C-Fabricant outside Steve from the cellar and he goes, that was a bad idea.

Yeah, we know. Dude, Fitzsimmons looked like Billy Bush on Trump's bus when he said grabbed him by the pussy. He was like, okay. I guess you can do that, you know. David Tell was unfazed. He's like, who the fuck is this? I saw him last night we were talking about it. He goes, I want to bring him a basket of bull.

Brett, what do you say? I'm going to bring him a... He goes, another... What's the next mountain to climb, Twizzler? Yeah. And when he was on your lab doing this, he goes, he's risling. He's risling. He's rizzling. This mouse, son, dis-oh, God. That was a warm buttocks.

I'll say that right now. Don't say that right now. Well, buy some bodega cat. We love you. See Adam on the road. See you next week. Love you guys. Hell yeah, comedy. This woman does a