We Might Be Drunk - Ep 273: Jack Whitehall (The Burbs)

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

Mark and Sam are joined by Jack Whitehall. They get into British pub culture vs. American drinking, darts legends who need vodka to compete, ultra marathons by accident, filming awkward sex scenes, reality show meltdowns, food influencers drowning everything in gravy, and why Shawn Michaels might be the greatest performer of all time. Jack’s new show The Burbs is now streaming on Peacock. Inspired by the cult classic film, the series follows a couple who move into a seemingly perfect suburban neighborhood that quickly reveals some very dark and very funny secrets. It’s a twisted murder-comedy with a stacked ensemble cast, sharp writing, and that perfect mix of suburban paranoia and absurdity. If you like mystery with your jokes and chaos behind white picket fences, The Burbs is for you. Sponsored by: Cancel the stink with BoxieCat Enjoy 30% off with code WMBD https://boxiecat.com/WMBD Start investing with Acorns and get your $5 bonus investment https://acorns.com/wmbd Get simple, online access to personalized care https://Hims.com/DRUNK Start your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today https://shopify.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #JackWhitehall #BoxieCat #Acorns #Hims #Shopify #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Geez, we're talking about the weather. Hello. Hey, everybody. We're here. We're queer. It's we might be drunk. We got Jack Whitehall, everybody. Hi.

What is that? Cashmere? A little cashmere. That is scrumptious. Hold on. Get it. Get it. Oh, get it.

That is lovely. It's nice. Boy, oh, boy. I like that. A threat count on that. Man, oh man. Any point. Feel this.

We've tried to get you on the pod before. Wow. This is a little coars. This is sandpaper. That's a sandpaper. Feel that. Oh, fuck. This is our self-esteem's coming out.

You're going to keep a great parmesan with that thing. That's terrible. I think I got this at a thrift store in 88. But into slacks. They're nice, too. Thank you very much. Yeah, what else you got today? I'm a bit overdressed for a podcast, but I took off some layers.

You're not overdressed. We dress like shit on you some of guys. What else you got today? I just did the Kelly Clarkson show. Oh, nice. She was cool as hell. Yeah. She was very nice.

And the Today show in the morning, which was kind of wild. Al Roker? So Al Roker. Nice. Love you. Yeah. A little bit of roker. Yeah.

Thin roker. Thin roker? He's a big. Oh, I didn't know. Big roca. Oh, really? We were scared for him. Oh, I'm God, I didn't know that.

Yeah. Pull up roker. Boca on Seinfeld, remember that shit? Wow. That's fat. I mean, he was like, it's like an Eddie Murphy character.

Yeah. Look that. Phoenix, like he ate Al Rosetta. I remember him farting at that dinner table. Yeah. Look at that. This is Prios Epic, by the way. He lost it the real way.

I think he got surgery. Ah. I think we got surgery. I think you have. I think you have to. Yeah, yeah. Fucking, oh.

Quitter. Well, this will all be great for the next time I go on. Yeah. I had no idea. You never told me you to be fat. How dare you? But you know what no one ever talks about? You grew up with a fat guy and then they lose weight and it's kind of a bummer.

I know him as fat road. I'd be glad he's not dead. Well, sure. I don't want him to die. But I think when Oprah lost weight, I was like, ah, I like fat Oprah. And Lizzo is now losing weight. I like fat Lizzo. Yeah, but he seemed to still have a sort of evuncular chum.

Tom, despite the fact that he had shed the pounds. Some people lose the high jolly. Fat man energy. Yes. Which is good. FME. Yes. I do like when a woman used to be fed.

Lava used to be fat woman. The personality is definitely, it's better. Agreed. We're hitting it hard for the holidays month, the Black History Month again. Yeah. We're doing Oprah fat, our ok, fat.

You should mention Kirsty Ellie. What the hell? Come on, Mark. You're only mentioning me. That's true. That's why. I wish you said fat, Mark. She did.

She passed away. Well, Kirstiali, kudos to her. She was a fat Coke head. That's hard to pull off. She was a great, great. Because you've got to eat through it. What? Eat through it.

Exactly. You're not really hungry on the blow. That's impressive. Chris Farley as well, fat co-kid. Yeah, but he was doing other shit. True. Hachimachi. He's not that fat.

She's just an actress. So it's like... Right, right. But that looks like most women in, like, Kansas. Oh, my God. That's true. Yeah, yeah, that's true. It's amazing how instantly feels more inappropriate once they're dead.

I was fine. I was so on board with. I'm shocked. Sorry, Kirsty came up. Cheers, dude. Oh, my gosh. She's unbelievable. She was very sexy.

She was in Star Trek. She was hot. Yeah. So pull up a hot, Kirsty, if you don't mind. Just to cleanse the palate a little. There's a whole article on famously overweight celebrities that show the pounds. Wow. Oh, yeah.

Cute. Weirdly, this also feels disrespectful. There's no image of Castiali that we can look at. You can't win with the ladies. She looks like Paul Gasol in that picture. What the heck? Who? The basketball player, pull them up.

Oh, geez, we're going down a whirlwind. This is why I can't watch internet porn anymore. All of a sudden, I'm on a basketball player. Does she not? Oh, yeah. Wow. He's got that peacock look a little bit now? Well, he was really fat as well.

No, they have the same face. No, his brother was. His brother Marcusol was fat I'm sorry I'm not a fat Inception By the way This is like me on my phone late at night

I'm Marcusole He was fat Let me keep going here Same Yeah Why aren't I writing more jokes Exactly Holy mother

The J.D. Vance meme He was fat But he was a beast He was really good Wow Look at a gut on Grizzly Yeah dude Good golly

Yeah but he lost it Well Luke is pretty fat In the NBA Yeah, he was big. That's even cooler to be. Yeah, I have so much respect for, like, elite athletes that are able to do it when they look out of shape. Definitely. There was a soccer player called Thomas Brolin.

Pull him up. Who, again, like, just was not an athlete, but an unbelievable footballer. And he played with a beer guy. Oh, look at that. Red-faced Irish. Was he like a tough guy, like a glue guy, or was he more finesse? Yeah. No, yeah, finesse.

Real finesse. But he played in that era where he was. playing against defenders that were like active alcoholics. Right. So it was probably slightly easier to play with a little bit of carrying a bit of timber. Yeah. Well, John Daly. I mean, golf is a little.

And baseball. There are a lot of fat pitchers. Yeah, the famous one is David Wells who just... Look at that. That's crazy. Wow. My God, that's a problem. But then again, even looking at that, you're like, a lot of momentum is going to go to that.

I swear. That's true. Like that ball is going a long way. That's true. And help with the torque on the way back. But he's a type of guy that if he sobered up, he might suck. Yeah. Like he might need that.

Yeah, yeah. Right. It's like how Rodman was like, I need to go to Vegas. Yeah, yeah. I get fucked up for 72 hours. No, like, just let him go. Darts players as well. There's a lot of darts players that need to be drunk to be able to perform.

I once went to a darts championship. Can we pull up Andy Fordham? He was nicknamed the Viking. And I saw him backstage in between going out on. to the Oki to, like, perform in a Darts match, very high level. And he was drinking from a bottle of Evian water. And I was like, oh, I heard that, you know, Darts players drink beer. It's like crazy to see you actually drinking mineral water.

He was like, it's vodka. Oh, wow. And he worked out the exact amount of alcohol he needed to steady his hand so that he could go and throw out. He looks like that guy. Remember the million-dollar man from wrestling? He looks like Ted DiBiase. Yeah, he does look like DiBiasey, but he died. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. These stories are really cool, and then you're like, he died at 46. Wait, wait, let me see that guy again. That is unbelievable. Wow. Who's that? I bet he got laid, too.

The actor that could play him. That's our body, H. Foley, if you're a garbage pod. He could play Andy Fordman. Yeah. The rise of the viking. Look at the wrist, the poor watch. My God. Who does he look?

He's kind of got like a meatloaf or something going on there. Also dead. Ah. Damn. With the name Meatloaf, you shouldn't have that long a life expectancy, though. That's true. Look at that chubby. Wow.

That's fucking insane. He gets there. Yeah. Oh, my God. Wow. Now, look at the hair, too. That guy got blown. That's what's incredible being a man.

Did the darts guys get laid a lot? Yeah. They can find the clit. They get it every time. It's a bullseye, baby. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah, the darts players.

There's a guy called Bobby George, who was like, he was like, Like, there's sort of the big shagger in the world of Darts. Paul of Bobby George. Bobby George, he's got a great look. Oh, look at that. Classic. Money. This guy.

Yeah. Wow. He's a real showman. He was like, yeah. The sort of Michael Jordan of, of darts. He's like a, like a, what he, gaudy is the word. Yeah. Is that a game you can play forever or does your wrist start to like, you know, eventually you have to.

So there is like a, yeah, there's a sweet spot, but I think eventually you do have to retire. because the wrist gives way or you you get the shakes too much. Yeah, yeah, well, bowling is the ultimate disgusting guy sport. I don't know if you, you get a bowling over there, do you? No, no, no. Okay. We got some bowlers, and they are, I'd say, the ugliest most out-of-shaped athletes on the planet. Well, you can be eating grilled cheese while you play.

Well, this guy... This is the guy, Pete Weber, yeah? Yeah, yeah. He's the man. Yeah, yeah. What's the famous, this is the best quote in history. He shouts at the... Here it comes.

This is like Bill Murray at the end of fucking Kingpin. Yeah, exactly. Here comes. Dude, do you think you are? Oh, that's so good. God, you could not write that line. No. That has got to be sheer adrenaline pumping, just elation.

That's amazing. Do they make a good living at like a world-class bowler, you think? I don't think so. I think they do okay. I think like a WNBA player, I bet. That's not a good living. All right, well, then no. Yeah, wow, that was a great little athlete,

ugly athlete run we had there. Well, David Wells for the Yankees said the famous one, because he went out drinking all night, pulls an all-nighter, and then throws a perfect game, which you just don't fucking do. He was a wild guy, this guy. He bought Babe Ruth's hat on auction,

and was like, I want to wear Babe Ruth's hat during the game, and baseball was like, you can't do that. And he was like, I'm doing it. And they just find him, good for him he's like I don't give a shit I want to wear this hat yeah what's it's a hat what's a difference I mean it's a yanky hat right yeah but it's like old I don't know I see and he would play like intoxicated I don't know he played intoxicated but he was hung over he was hung over and an all-nighter is that ain't easy no that is yeah man what a bad but it kind of

takes baseball down a peg if you can do this hung over and on no sleep and do a perfect game maybe it's not that hard of a sport no it's hard I mean, you know, but, you know, they were all on Coke in the 80s, too. I mean, they were, but that might help you. It's focused. It's adrenaline. Good point. Probably good for like one innings.

It's quite a long game. Yeah. They used to start telling stories in the outfield. It's terrible. We should write a movie. It's like Bull Durham meets fucking Major League, man. By the way, we watch Major League. Fucking great movie.

This is our mascot. Don't mind him. Welcome to Epstein's Island But wait, I was I going to say shit Oh Speaking of drinking and playing games all night We've both done London many times And the UK, Wales, all that

It's a real beer culture over there Yeah, yeah And I'm a liquor guy Yeah And I found I got a little People got a little snickery With the like The vodka sodas

And the tequila soda and all that And they're like, Just drink a beer, you dweeb Yeah, yeah it's a lot of it's a lot of lager yeah i think that's just because it's they want to elongate it as well just just full capacity drinking all day sessions got it maybe it also feels more acceptable to start with beer good point doing it in the day or you're doing it in a week but yeah it's a lot of but there's something fucking cool about a martini at lunch yeah there's something epic

we're just going to get fucked up at 2 p.m this is crazy yeah i don't know but yeah i'm the same way I would drink beer over there I'll do it because I was like oh okay like Liverpool I was like holy shit These people are the best I love Liverpool Yeah But yeah it was a lot of beer

It's a lot of beer And one of those shots They always want to do in Liverpool What those fucking shots called again Yager bombs? Wasn't Yeagerbombs There was something like that It was like a

Oh fuck I wish I I don't know But yeah Do you not drink? No I yeah I drink What's your drink Not on stage though I'm all drink anything

And everything I have cocktails I'll have whiskey like a martini you love red wine so there's no way this guy doesn't drink because of that bad teacher shows like I feel like you definitely a sober guy's not playing this guy no I definitely drink not on stage though I'm terrible

me too stage so sloppy same I just uh so I always think I'm good and then I hear the recording I'm like that was not that was yeah you're a little step off you're a little slower but I watched your Fallon it's a big drinking chunk oh yeah yeah yeah yeah but I do that is definitely something that I feel when I go to, well, L.A. in particular, everything is

sort of geared around, you know, going for coffee or going for lunch. And in England, everything is just go to the pub. And it's every meeting is drinking, drinking at lunch. It's still like we have a great drinking culture, which I, yeah. We used to. We've lost. New York's still good. Still good, but, you know, liquor sales are down.

I think everything's down with young people with the new generation. So you guys are hanging in there, like five o'clock at a pub. in London. Yeah. It's just they're like pushing out into the street. There's so many drinkers. Oh man. That place Devonshire.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Shoulds to shoulder. Shoulders. Shoulders. Great. And they got that great restaurant upstairs too. That's a cool spot.

Yeah, that's great. And the pubs look good. Here you got these dumb ass bars with the neon lights and all that. You guys are like old fucking wood and brass bar and the gold rail pubs. Yeah. Horrendous bar snacks as well. Yes. Like weird potato chips and pickled eggs.

I like a pickle egg. I like that. It's just like all feels like a proper throwback. Yeah. I love sitting in a pub and just drinking all day. And there's a crest. There's always a crest of like the sheep's taint. You know, it's always some old, the Lord Zanis or whatever.

And it's like a, you know, two swords and a, you know, a fat lady or something. I just watched this movie last night, which is like, I'm told a British classic. Have you seen With Nail and I? Oh, I love With Nail and I. I love it. It's great. Yeah, it's a real drinking movie. It's the best.

Yeah. I love with Nel and I. That's always my barometer if I, like, want to test out how much I'm going to like an American friend. It's a good flick. It's amazing. I had a friend tell me how much she liked it. And then I saw just randomly Will O'Nette being like, that's my number one favorite movie in an interview. And I was like, oh, shit, I got two in one week.

Let me throw it on. I loved it. It's so good. What's the... One to you, terrible cunt. Oh, Richard Rivers. I've seen him before. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a good. It's a really good drinking movie. Yeah. It's so good. Two really down and out. The amazing story. about that is that Richard E. Grant plays the best on-screen drunk of all time. He's tea total and he never touched a drop of alcohol.

Wow. But the director Bruce Robinson insisted on getting him drunk once. And Richard E. Grant talks about this night where Bruce Robinson took him out and forced him to drink so he would experience it once before he started filming. And it's the only time to this day he's ever drunk. But it's honestly the most perfect performance of a drunk. I like a kind of down-and-out poor character who's still kind of like Debenair. in a way.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like Arthur. Yes. Well, he's not down and out. He was rich as well. But he was degenerate.

But there was something very sophisticated, like fake sophisticated. Yes. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. He's living in Squalor, but he's still got this like, that grandeur about him. It's such a funny. It's so good.

The scripts is amazing. Well, you got, I mean, we love British comedy. You got me in the peep show. Yeah. And I've watched it twice now, just through and through. It's so good. It's so good. Yeah, it's probably like my comfort watch on the road.

There's like that. that sign fell 30 bucks something i just know will make me feel good yeah yeah yeah i did um a show with uh sam and jesse who wrote peep show they wrote a student show after this which i was in with them uh and the the script's always so good and then obviously jesse went on to write succession what yeah yeah yeah he's amazing but the mind you didn't know that yeah the guy that came over a peep show no no no no no sorry oh sorry sorry the guy who peep show wrote succession i did not know that I love Succession. It's fucking great.

He wrote loads of, they basically exclusively wrote comedy, and then he had this show idea, which I think was originally just about the moment. But Succession's a comedy, though. Yeah, exactly. A comedy, like, disguised as a drama, but it's so funny. Yeah, they're great. Was that cool working with those guys? Yeah, amazing.

So, so good. And, like, just every script was hilarious. Yeah, Jesse Armstrong. How did they know about that world? How did they know about the, you know, that, you know, rich kind of wealthy family? That felt like a combination of the, yeah, that book. right there no no god it looks like the cover that's why I thought there was that that was the show I was in there on Freshme that's on oh really yeah okay wow and

then and then succession but I think when he originally wrote it he wrote it and it was just about the Murdox and then they had to change a load of stuff was Murdox and then it was like that mixed with there was that book about the Viacom Sumner Redstone yeah it's a really good book yeah it's about Sumner Redstone and his daughter and like how fucked up so I think it was like it was those two books mashed yeah mm-hmm wow What a talent. But, yeah, I mean, you've been all these things. And this new show, The Burbs, it's on Peacock.

Yes. And it's like a drama. It's like a comedy, but like kind of a murder comedy, right? Yeah, yeah, murder comedy. I like a murder comedy. Yeah, murder comedy. Yeah, I like that one on Hulu they did with Steve Martin and Martin Short. That was a murder comedy, right?

Yeah, it's that. It's like, it's got, you know, the Burbs. Kind of, it's off the movie. It's off the movie. Horror as well. Yeah, it's the Tom Hanks movie. from the 80s and then it's like taking the sort of premise of that of like this family moving back to the suburbs and they're being like a weird secret on the street and uh yeah it's got a really

great ensemble cast and paulipa is really funny and uh julia duffy mark proch uh it's yeah it's great it's um we filmed yeah filmed it on the original set in the universal lot where they've you know the monster's house and desperate housewives and all those so you went to work every day you were going past like the jaws bit where it's scaring all of the tourists and drive up past the psycho house and then yeah they just keep that up the psycho house

just in case like we're bringing it back I know the remake didn't work we're trying to another remake. Vince Vaughn Vince Vaughn and Norman Bates that was wild baby your money come on you're not dead your money mom

wow look at that but that's fun that real Hollywood shit it was cool yeah and Those trams with all of the tourists. Every now and again, you'd be going up to set in a little golf buggy, and they'd slow down as they went past you, and you'd see all of the tourists looking out, and then being really disappointed that it wasn't The Rock or Kevin Hart. You did that movie with The Rock, though.

Yeah, yeah. Was that fun? I think they'd rather have seen. But you're acting some big shit now. How was it working with The Rock? Yeah, good. Yeah, he was great. I mean, I love wrestling.

So on day one, I sort of started asking him about, you know, WrestleMania and which wrestlers he like, you know, working with and which ones he didn't like work. And he opened up instantly because he loved talking about wrestling because I guess that's, you know, his passion. Sure. I instantly turned myself into a fan. But that was like safe terrain to talk about and trying to get him to feel beans. Yeah, that's a tough transition to go from Smell What the Rock is Cooking to movies. Yeah.

It's dead. is it though it's all it's all performing like he became popular in wrestling because it was he was the best on the mic yeah yeah he was funny he was so good he was a good performer you know and then he tested it out he was also in that like yeah that amazing era where they could just get away with so much shit what some of the clips from attitude era you're like yeah there was a whole there was a faction of degeneration x their their tagline was suck it yeah i was in seventh grade like you have the tension i'm like suck it we just get to be like suck it and be like get out I was my high school mascot.

I did that the first game. I got fired. But it was like right in that 90s era. So I was like, come on, the kids love it. No, he was the man. I mean, that era was crazy. That clip of Sean Michael's doing the air falation. You're like, that was so...

Sexiest man alive. That was like the product back. Whoopsie. Oh, Jesus Christ. You've got to be careful. with that. That was a screen saver. You've spelled Sean wrong, so I think you might have a different

Sean Michaels. Put the word wrestling in there. On TV. You put BBC. There we are. There we go. That's a meme now. Yeah.

Yeah. He did it very well, too. Yeah. He really nailed the ball tickle and everything. There's a lot to that. There's an arch to that. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. The skin flute. Holy, holy, look at this guy. I think he's blowing the big show.

That's a big deal. Jesus. Oh, my God. Yeah, wrestling, I haven't watched it really in a while, but, like, growing up, that shit was so fun. Super fun. Send that clip to my wife. It's just send the other Sean Michaels one to mine, please. Oh, God.

We play this every week. I'm not a fan of this. You got to get some new material. This is literally He's like a morning DJ now It's like I'm doing it for our guest

Wow He's fine He doesn't care We're trying to get on heated rivalry How about that Kiki Palmer She's a She's a sight of sore eyes Yeah

I remember seeing her in Akila in the B when she's a child actor It's a great movie Yeah Yeah yeah Did you have to lou about for that? Mark it's a fucking heartwarming tale About a spelling bee.

Heard was this keel and the bee. Lawrence Fishburn. Yeah. It's about a child doing the spelling bee. It's a good movie. I went and did a like a chemistry test with her. They flew me out to Atlanta to do a screen test. And I'd never met her before.

And I was just being a little bit nervous. And went into the room. And I thought, you know, a little ice breaker would be that I tell her that I loved a keeler and the bee. And, you know, really moved me. I was, you know, floods of tears by the end when you're doing the bit of the end. You seriously, if you don't chew up a little. that movie, you're kind of a cut. Yeah.

Did she lose to an Indian kid? Because that would be the only realistic ending of a spelling being. I haven't seen it in a minute. I think she wins. She wins. All right. It's fiction. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I'd watched it on the plane on the way over. I think she was smart. I was talking about, like, watching it as a child, but I was watching it as a grown-house man. Yeah. The day before and in Flood of Tears on an airplane. Did she appreciate it? Yeah. No, it was on TV recently.

I was watching parts. I was like, yeah, you tear up. It's like a feel-good movie, for sure. Yeah. I don't want you on. It's a good one. They don't watch it on a plane. No, I won't.

Because the Lola jet you were on? Low Lila. Come on. I've been drinking. Low Lila. Lola. I couldn't get it out. Lillela.

I'm never put on the plane. I don't know. That's good. Oh, is that what it's called? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I didn't know. I haven't been on it. Not an expert on the jet.

Do you ever have to read with someone where you watch them in there in and you're like, this was a piece of shit? What is in going to work with someone? Yeah, yeah. Well, every rock movie, baby. What are we doing here? I like the rock. I'm saying.

He's a great performer, though. He is, he is. He's a beast. I think the first black wrestler pro? No. No, that's not true. He broke some record. His father was a wrestler.

I know, but maybe first WWE? I think he broke him color barrier in some way. Cocoa Beware was a restaurant. in the 80s. Coco B. That's the movie with Kiki Palmer. All right. Look up, the Rock, Black, Breaking Barrier.

I swear to God. I saw his documentary. Rock, breaking. Oh, God. It was going to be porn again. You've not been the same since they brought on that clip of YouTube making out. It's set you into somewhat of a tailspin. Shut up.

I'm right. First black champion. Thank you. All right. See, you guys are quick to white guilt me. I fucked up, dude. I've seen the. All right. First Black Champion.

That's big. That's big. That's big. All right. That's pretty cool. But yeah, Kiki Palmer was in Aziza's movie, which is, I think, pretty good, actually. It's called Good Fortune with Seth Brogan. I got to watch that. I ran into him. I'm embarrassed. I haven't seen it. No, I saw it on a plane. But it's fun, right? But it's fun. It's like, it's deep. Giana Reeves. Yeah, it's funny. Keanu Reeves steals it, by the way. He's so great. He's great. But it's a great premise. It kind of breaks all the, breaks the mold a little bit. very good but she's the she's the love interest so she's now hooking up with an indian guy

then a white guy so she's uh all over the place with the male leads called being an actor good point yeah being an actor is just professional hoeing yeah i am do you feel any vibes i'm said ever you're like oh this is this could be something no i don't it just feels so on like even when you're you know doing the scenes where you have to make out it just feels so unsexy. Sure. Tell me about you. See us before those brutal. Yeah. You know, it's weird, right?

Yeah. On the last thing I the show I did, I had to film a gay orgy, which was I mean, bring it up. What show is this? I did a show called Malice on Amazon where I played this sort of like psychopath who was into some really deviant, like, sexual stuff. Oh, so you're not enjoying it.

Sorry. You're not enjoying the energy. No, no. He's just sort of there, like, zoned out. So I didn't have to like, yeah, I didn't have to enjoy it. Yeah. But I did have to film it. It was at a strip club in Watford.

We filmed at sort of 8 o'clock in the morning. I don't know whether there's going to be any seat. Oh, no, no, that's David. Oh, get that right side out of there. That's a shot of me in my house. But, oh, what the fuck did you do it, man? There's so many dicks on this podcast. He's got a problem.

It's a lot. They auto fill for him. They start typing. Yeah, that's what he's doing at 8 o'clock in the morning usually. Right. Well, they edited out the most graphic stuff. So it didn't actually end up in the show. Well, the most graphic stuff is there's a sequence where I'm like watching some people

participate in sex and this old dude comes and takes me by the hand and leads me off. And then it hard cuts to him, shoving me up against the wall and fucking me from behind. Oh, wow. Yeah. Love a hard cut. So you'll film 8 o'clock in the morning. guy who had like he had like a sort of cushion like duct tape around his his waist and the weirdest bit was not the actual like you know bombing the park is like yes yeah i went to morning school you know

shut your eyes and go to a happy place but it was like that sort of small talk in between and at one point he was like oh i was just wondering whether at some point i could get a selfie and i was like maybe we wait till like post-aulgy for the selfie because i suspect you having got your phone on you I hope you have. He was like, oh, it's just that my son's a big fan of yours. I was like, I don't think he's going to be a fan after he sees this, mate. Wow. Were you naked in the scene?

Yeah, I was naked. Fully naked? I had a, like a cock sock on. Oh, yeah, that's me entering the Orchie. Wow, looking good. Oh, yeah, you're going to see the guy. You know what the greatest invention of all time is plumbing. You flush, it's gone.

That's it. Problem solved. Meanwhile, cats are still living in 1840 with a sandbox in the corner. That's true. And they don't think women are people. I can't vote. Here's the thing. The worst part about having a cat

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$1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash drunk. Go to Shopify.com slash drunk. That's Shopify.com slash drunk. Touching. He was called Jeff. He was called Jeff. They were really pounding away. Yeah, they really were.

And yeah. You signed up for one day to be an extra. This is. Oh, man. Oh, you got some tits. That's Jeff. That's Jeff. That's the guy who wanted the photo because his son was a fan.

See, look, I'm not enjoying it. I'm just there. I think he's banging a lady, though, right? So, yeah, he's banging a lady, but then what's about, well, it, see, look, and then I check him out. And I'm like, yeah, that'll do. People listening on audio are really missing out. This is wild, yeah, you should be watching this one on YouTube. Now, were you nervous?

You're reading the script. You go, all right, I'm going to go out for this role. I got it. Here we go. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I just become a bit, I've done a lot of sex on camera. Oh, is that right? On us two, we just don't act. So, yeah, I guess I've been just sort of desensitized to it.

Sure. And then in the background, it's craft services, there's grips and lighting people. They were grips onset, too. It was really, Gives Onsen. They gave me a little, the posing, or the cocksock, which they left in my trailer. And I picked it up, and it had a little label on the inside with an S on it. I was like, surely you take that. Or just put an L to make me feel better.

Yeah, come on. That's hilarious. It's really sad. Wow. That is hilarious. I'd be like, give me a Christmas stock. Well, just behind you, you're like, Jeff, what size did you get? Jeff's X-L.

Just find that in my ass crack at the end of the day. Now, you had the show with your dad. Oh, sorry, sorry. That's the only thing I haven't done any sex scenes. Oh, my God, imagine his cock sock. Like a rugby sock long and thin. My dad was huge, by the way. He would sleep naked, huge hog.

Oh, yeah, he fucked the shirt and no undies. Exactly. He would roll over it. It was like a delay. Like it flopped. Is that from a kid's perspective? Maybe. Maybe, but I have photos.

No, no, no. That's the way to do as a dad. You just show your kid your dick when he's like really young and that way it becomes a legend. Oh, yeah. Charlie, get in here. Charlie, stay a while. I got a one-year-old. He's wallpaper.

Just being naked. Just so he can really soak it in. No. But my dad has like constantly makes jokes about how I didn't inherit his, you know, blessed appendage. Wow. That's his bit that he'll do anywhere and everywhere on our show. Every time we go and, you know, go on a podcast or a chat show,

it's his like root one, first point of call, make a joke about how he's insanely hung and that I didn't inherit it. That's hilarious. That's a cool dad. Or maybe traumatizing. I like how your dad's dressed. Oh, he's British, baby. He just doesn't that all the time. Yeah, yeah.

Now, where's a suit? Because this show is very popular. I think they did a couple seasons, right? Yeah, yeah, we did. Yeah, yeah. So how do you pitch this? You go, do you think, all right, I'm a comic, but my dad is fucking hilarious for an old guy who's not a comic.

Yeah. And you go pitch this to what? Netflix or whatever? Well, no, the weirdly, the way that working with my dad started is, it was always completely sort of accidental. because I used to talk about him on stage and he was like a big character in my stand-up and eventually I got to the point

where I was just like, I can't keep doing jokes about funny shit my dad said. So I'll try and write a show about something else. But then he was up at the festival and then someone suggested that we do like a little like chat show up there at the Edinburgh Festival where I interview other guests at the festival and he would just sit on stage as like almost like a flesh prop.

He would just be there and it would be funny that I got my dad up there with me and he would chip in every now and again. Anyway, he was up on stage. obviously then, like completely took over, undermined me, threw me under the bars, was asking his own inappropriate questions. And then someone was in the audience from the BBC and they said, oh, we'd love to do this on TV. And he was like, no, no, I'm not a performer, not an actor.

I've never done anything. And he was in his late 70s at this point. But I guess he saw the check that they offered him and was like, oh, might as well. Then we did like, yeah, we did three seasons of a show on the BBC. and then from that Netflix were like, we have an idea for you to do a travel. So they pitched it to us. They were like,

we would love you to do a travel series where you take him around the world. It's amazing he did one gig. Like every comic stream. He just one gig and he's like, oh yeah, yeah, I'll do a show. Yeah, then break through in his late 70s. Right.

That's like what you see in a movie. You're like, that's not how it fucking happened. And then that's actually, wow, that's amazing. But you get to spend all that time. Like, you're his dad's dead. My dad's fucking ice cold. Like, I can never see a show. My dad who raised me is alive.

That day. Yeah. Step dad. whatever but yeah my dad my dad could never do that if I was on that show he'd just be like but that might be funny that might be funny that might be funny that'd be going hey dad so how was your childhood huh shut up I'm listening to music like I couldn't I get nothing out of yeah but your dad was like a natural yeah he was really good and really funny well yeah but then the problem is you sort of you know you create a monster because it was an opening pandora's box and then

I mean I put him on TV I realized he was the funny one and I He's the straight man. Oh, hilarious. You're probably guiding that. I mean, you have to kind of guide it that way. Yeah, yeah, a little bit. And I can work out like a scene. And, you know, obviously, it's an element of it is constructed to put him into a funny

situation and then, you know, orchestrate a world in which he's going to say something inappropriate. But he always gets the punchline. So we did all, you know, five seasons of the show. And I'm doing all the work sort of behind the scenes. But he's getting all of the credit. And then every time I'm all down the street now, we were like, oh. yeah, how's your dad?

He's so much funnier than you. And I'm like, okay, great. Yeah, thanks very much. Man, did you get annoyed? Because, like, you know, family gets old after a while. I'm at my house three days in New Orleans and I'm like, I get the fuck out of here.

Was it ever like... I had a rat in my apartment last year, and my parents were like, stay with us and I was like, I'm going to chance it with the rats. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Give it a shot.

So on set with your dad for five seasons, there's got to be a little grading. Yeah, it was, it was quite, They got shorter and shorter. Like the first time we went away, we were filming for like two months. And by the end, it was like three weeks. Oh. Because it was quite a long time to sort of be together, like living in the same hotels,

having breakfast, lunch and dinner together every day. Sure. But I would say the one advantage of like filming something with, you know, a sort of snob in his 80s is that you get to do like a filming schedule. But like through his lens. So you can have all of these demands. that are, because we're having to work with an 80 year old. That's great.

That doesn't want to be here. So like, you'd have to, wherever we were in the world, even if we're in like the middle of like, I don't know, a fucking minefield in Cambodia, we'd have to stop at one o'clock to go for a lunch. And it would have to be a cook lunch and they'd have to be like proper wine. And he'd have to have an hour at lunch to have like a nice, decent, civilized luncheon. And then he'd come back at two. He'd work for two or three more hours.

And that would be the end of the day. And it was just like, it ran like clockwork because we had to. to be like, oh yeah, he's very old. That's amazing. It's like dating a woman in a wheelchair, best table, you know, you get to board the flight first. It's incredible. Wow, good little life hack there. I just bring an elderly man with me now everywhere, just to make sure that I get cheated right.

How did your mom deal with this? What does she think of it? Well, she used to sort of tag along. She was like there in the background to sort of manage him because he needed quite a lot of man marking in a lot of those situations. Did he ever go, thanks, son? forget me this famous he complained the whole time

I don't want to be doing this and then he got a degree of notoriety then he got my mom involved in it as well so then she ended up being on camera and then as soon as they could they ditched me and now they have their own podcast they just

this year went on tour for the first time ever you know aged 85 he's doing his first ever tour I'm not even involved anymore because they have their own podcast and they have their own fan base you're talking to PR people can they get me on He's like, yeah, he's like, man, I know.

I'm good. So, yeah, they've caught me lose. He's kind of dead weight. I'm the funny one. He doesn't fucking use me. Damn, that's hilarious. Just be careful, you know. Him and Jeff, your dad and Jeff in the fucking, in the orgy. Same thing.

Power corrupts. All right, well, we got some peeves from Whitehall over here. I love when people come to peeves. That's a big part of our show. Oh, I don't know when I do these. Okay. Peaves, people who don't cue properly. That's like a translation.

Get in line? Get in line. Yeah, standing in line, people that aren't able to line up properly. It's unacceptable. It's, yeah. The diagonal cut in, it's like, come on. That's a big one. That I really don't like.

And people, like, when I can feel like an incorrectly formulated cue occurring, I get very on edge. Yeah. When you feel people just joining from the side and it's just there's no, and no one's doing anything to stop it. Right. That gives me anxiety. Have you been to China? Yes. It's exactly like that.

It's a big ball of people and one little interest and it just funnels in whenever it can. Well, they'll literally hit them with a broom. Have you seen it on the subway and I'll put them with a stick? Like wedge them in there. Crazy. We have obviously in Britain, it's sort of, I think it's like a point of pride that we're quite good at queuing. Yes. And we, I think, would say that that's a much more sort of national sport.

Yeah. But like David Beckham, I genuinely think got his knighthood, which he'd wanted to get for years because he stood in a line when the queen died. And there was that, the long line of people to pay their respects. He got so much cudos for the fact that even as a high profile celebrity, he stood in line with everyone else. And there was other celebrities that were busted, cue barging. And they were like canceled.

There were these two television presenters that went straight to the front of the line, canceled, taken off air, lost their show. David Beckham just stood there with everyone else. Which is what you're supposed to do. Yeah. Someone took a picture of it. he got a knighthood, not for all of the charity work or winning football tournaments. How about that stuff with this kid?

That's pretty wild. Are you allowed to talk about that? As a countryman? No. Okay. So what happened? Is wife dance with their kid too sexually? I don't know.

At a wedding? Well, I saw that and I'm like, I think of all the embarrassing shit my mom and dad have done to me, often on camera on that Netflix show. I'm like dancing during a wedding. I mean. Yeah. And look, you could do worse than Victoria Beckham with a sexy dance. Yeah, but if it's your mom, it's still your mom, dude.

Ah, I'm from the South. Well, is it this can't be it? That can't be it, right? That's nothing. No, that's, I think there's another dog. There's no video of it. Oh. When I did my, uh...

Oh, boy. No, that's AI. Doing too much. AI. No, is AI? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

All right. All right. All right. I don't get why this is, this was like a big deal for a hot minute. When I did my show in Vegas, when I took my mom and dad to Vegas for troubles with my father, I tricked my dad into going to Magic Mike. And I told him it was a magician. And he was sat there in the front row.

And then my mom was there and she ended up getting up on stage and was being, you know, lifted up. Oh, no. Tossed around the stage by some topless dancer. No, thank you. That happened to me. I did a gig with an ex of mine. And she went up there. and we were kind of having problems

at the point where it was at a point in no return already and then I was just watching a guy like hump her on stage I was like this isn't helping no thank you this isn't great and a mom though that's even weirder because you're like this is a nice sweet lady here don't defile her she's wearing big red glasses

that's what they do they defile they defile they defileers don't ruin this experience for me didn't help that she came I mean I don't know what these are parents who screen shams what? So that's like you're looking

to your phone too much. Yeah. Or like showing your screens are amazing. That's so good. Thanks for watching us, guys. No, we're just like, I mean, the amount of sort of social situations recently that I've been saved

by the presence of an iPad or a phone that I can just bit of pepper pig and just get my toddler to just stop causing chaos and like embarrassing me publicly. Yeah. The idea of not being. able to do that would just horrify me i don't know how parents did it before but you can't go 24

seven screen no just a bit of screen a bit of screen but yeah does i get over there i get that yeah like i do movies with my kid yeah i don't i don't get them on iphone but i'll do a movie with them yeah yeah i feel like that's a little better yeah yeah it's a lot of amount of time there's an ending to it yeah but sometimes i feel like here you go kiddo play with this it's you'll never get it back yeah yeah gives him there's a ipad you're gonna watch the mule with clinn eastwood today Is that Jeff? The strange choice. Maybe with some of the stuff that you Google, that's quite dangerous.

Yeah, yeah, good point. Who's this Sean Michaels, that? Shit, it's not the wrestling clip. Oh, no. It's a different time. People who get too keen on running? Oh, that's a January thing, I guess. Oh, like, I'm going to turn my life around.

It's January. Yeah, I just think running is interesting. Yeah. I like running. I run. I run a lot. But anyone that wants to talk to me about how far I've run or where I've run or how fast I've run. It's not good conversation.

Oh, it's terrible. If you're going to do it, do it. But no wants to hear your fucking jog stories, you know? Yeah. And I don't want to sign up for your marathon either. All this sponsor me. You go run. Or a half marathon.

You'll ask for that. Come on. They want a whole sponsorship for half a run. And also, by the way, not 12 miles, whatever, 13 miles. Sure, sure. Not easy, but also, like, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit either. It's one foot in front of the other.

It's already free. Just exercise and just do it. You don't need to. Unless it's your job. Like, if you're like one of those fitness influencers, yeah, do that. But if you're not that, I don't give a fuck. No, no, no. Even like ultramarathons and endurance events and things like that, I'm like, yeah, just go

do that. Go do that. Go do that. By all means, but don't tell me about it. Yeah. If I last eight minutes in bed, I'm not bragging about it. You just do it. Yeah, because it never happens.

No. No, but that is the thing that you realize, like, that is so much work. If we did it, it probably would become our personality. Yes. Yeah. I mean, a fucking Iron Man, like, what is that? That's crazy, right? A tough mutter?

What do they call them? Yeah, tough mutters. That's actually shit. That's what Norman Bates had. Tough mother. This is a lot different than the Rachel Ray show, I assume, just from the videos we've seen alone. So, Iron Man is 2.4-mile swim. Wow.

112 miles on a bike and then a marathon, a 26.2 mile run. That's insane. Wow. Yeah. I did an ultramarathon once by accident. What? My friend was doing this like. By accident?

Well, yeah, no. Well, the ultramarathon element was by accident because my friend was doing this insane challenge where he was like setting up from London and then they were doing three marathons back to back and then rowing across the channel and cycling to the Alps. And they were like, can you do some of it? And I was like, absolutely not. And they were like, please, you just come for one, like, leg of the journey. It's like, what would be the easiest bit?

And they said the third marathon, because everyone will be exhausted, because they would have just run two marathons. And you don't have to run it. You can walk it. So I was like, fine. I'll do that. So I just sneak in. So I just sneak in.

But then I start the marathon. And then about halfway through, they were like, oh, yeah, by the way, we got rerouted yesterday. So we had to take off a couple of miles. So we're having to add them to this marathon. So then they added an extra, like, three miles to this marathon that I accidentally said that I would do. So you did. Yeah, I had to do like 29 miles. What'd that take?

I mean, my time was like six hours or something because I was walking a lot of it. But again, and also I felt too awkward to ask anyone for any sponsorship or talk about it. 29 miles. That's insane. It sucks. Do you have an iPod going? I mean, our iPod, what year is it? Do you have an air pod?

Airpod, yeah. Yeah, like a podcast. Give me a couple of a... People must have listened to this pod while running a marathon. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably gotten through that final couple of hours. Yeah.

You know? There you go. Sean Michaels. I just realized they should do that to get in the country. That should be the new immigrant. Citizenship. Citizenship. Like, you swim through the channel, you know, run 12 miles, get on a bike.

If you get into America after all that, we'll take you. We'll take you. Because it shows that you're fit, you're young enough, the stamina. What if they already swam here from Cuba, though? I'll count it. I'll count it. Yeah, that counts. That's part of it.

I think we got something here. That should be the admission process. When you said that, usually I thought you were referencing the Sean Michael's thing. And I was like, yeah. You have to suck a good dick. You suck a good air dick. That's not bad either. That'll be the women and the men will be the Iron Man.

I don't think I'll try that immigration the next time. It'll be an amazing country to live in. If you got to leave the country, why not? You didn't air tickle the balls. Yeah. Ah, that's good stuff. Good stuff. What else we got for any more peeves?

I had no more peeves. Well, you had to toast, you had a toast or something. That was a, go back to, Jesus Christ. Go back to G-Bel. Rex. That's what I meant. With Nell and I. Movie.

Whoa. Wow. Holy shit. That's crazy. That's crazy. Wow. I was literally going between that and a couple of other movies last night. I was like, I got two people saying this is good this week.

Let me give it a shot. I'm not a third. I liked it. Yeah. Wait a minute. British food influences? Oh, yes.

You can't convince me that British food is good. No, this is great. Well, no, it's not. And this is what I've become obsessed with you. You know the way, like, you watch one thing and then suddenly the algorithm is all at sense. Yes. Yes. And there was one guy who was like a British food influencer.

He's called eating with tubs. And he went viral because he had this gravy that honestly looked like cement. And he was pouring it over his roast dinner. And, I mean, it. absolutely gross but now all I get is like these sort of anti-food influence not anti-food influences

they are food influences but they're just British food influences so it's British oh there's Tom there's tough oh look at that gravy it's like two girls one plate holy hell

it's insane it looks like chocolate it looks like chocolate was this dude in that bathhouse with you is a Jeff oh my god that is nasty dude

wow that's looks great. I love gravy. He's too thick, dude. I'm on it. Thick of the better. You would like that gravy. I would love it. I would love it. Put that right in my ass. But there's... Oh yeah, that's... This guy drives me mad. That's Bevo. He's the one that eats it with... What does he do?

Oh, yeah, he eats food without chewing it. Oh, I don't care for that. No. Yuck. I've got crazy veneers. What the fuck? Who else do we have? We have eating with Todd, who's massive in the UK.

He's just a glut. He's like the biggest food influence in the UK. Like he goes to a restaurant and then it's just, you can't book a table for love to money. Really? You just, it's a glutton. That must go to your head too. Yeah.

He's got some power now. Do these guys have any background in food or they're just people who like food? I think they're just people that like eating food. I don't. Yeah. Oh, I've seen this guy. Yeah, this guy is massive. Wow, he looks like he's doing the legwork.

He's going to these crazy places. He's traveling. Look at this guy. He's out on the, he's boots on the ground. You're meeting the cow you're going to eat? That's kind of a bummer. It works at a brothel. I don't need to break bread with the fucking lobster I'm about to eat.

I don't want to see that. Wow. Remember Richard Jenny's joke about that? The lobster tank? He goes, they all have that look on their face. Like, any word from the governor? Great joke. What's the guy?

My takeaway, I think he's called. He sets up a table outside kebab shops in England. Oh, fun. Rate my takeaway. Rate my takeaway. Rate my takeaway. He was like the OG.

In London is the kebabs. Yeah. But this guy, he does it in the north of England and he sets up a table outside like a fish and chippy. And then he, yeah. He's amazing. So I'm about to do this award show when I go back, like our version of the Grammys.

and one of my ideas, because it's gone up north for the first name ever, is just to get this guy and stick him in the room, like, next to, you know, Bruno Mars. Oh, yeah. That's great.

Like, he just sets up his fault up. And he's, people would know him. He's huge over there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's only kebab? Or does he do everything? He'll do a kebab or a fish and chip shop or a pie. Love it.

And he'll just set up his table. Wow. I love this because, your takeaway. Look at this. This is great. Suck it, Portnoy. That's a lot of chips. But this is my algorithm. It's just all this. Me too. It's this guy eating kebabs outside.

I get a lot of this stuff. Or the man with the really thick gravy. A lot of people, a lot of burgers that have an egg on them and they're like, they're swiping and the yokes goes over. Like, all right. A lot of dudes eating sandwiches in the car. I get a lot of that. See, that's the American. influencer with the food. We're too lazy. These guys are going out there. They're doing the work. Our guy is sitting in the car or just like... The guy who eats at lunch? Have you seen that guy? He's like, this is my lunch today. And it's just a guy who just eats food. Oh, just in the car? Yeah, yeah. We have a lot of those.

There's a lot of those now. I don't like the car. They pay those people right. Oh, yeah. They launch a new product now. Every once in a while you can tell they're like, man, fucking KFC is really good. And you're like, oh, this is an ad, I think. They're shit on everything else. They're like, no, but this fog, this is real chicken, dude. But in a way, like, those food influences that I watch, I think are quite, I mean, it's like online as MPEC because they just make me not want to eat food ever again. Good point. I see that gravy and I'm like, I think I'm good to ever. But when it's like good restaurants, the same with the pizza, I see those port-noir things pop up

and I'm like, I want pizza. They look damn good. Yeah, that's why I'm saying. Just watch the British food influences. But isn't food in London kind of taking a big step? Bob? I think so. Well, the Indians helped it, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's the

advantage of being colonizers is that we just went around the world and mount spices. What are those Vietnamese sandwiches are so good. The French, that bread? Hell yeah. That's true. What's a spice bag? A spice bag is That's what I'm a Scottish.

The spice bag, I think, that's Scottish. The spice bag, I think, is like chips with car i think it's everything in there yeah the other ones there are meat in there too google it's meat in oh yeah yeah yeah i think that's your job yeah exactly no i've seen these though the spice bag yeah that's become it's french fries with uh oh yeah like chinese oh that looks amazing on it they're pretty good

the munchy box as well is pretty incredible that's a scottish one uh very popular in glasgow where it's just like everything in a pizza box so you go to a cabab shop and then they just shove in like all of it. What do they call this one in Rochester, man? Garbage plate. Yes. That looks fucking incredible.

Imagine you were drunken high. Oh my God. That's like seeing. Curly fries are salterated. Oh, the best. Especially with the seasoning on there. Look at it. You got coleslaw wings, pizza fries.

Looks like some halal meat on the left. That's a Super Bowl. Oh, yeah. For a party off. But I mean, you're going to have a miscarriage. Yeah, for sure. I made a snackadium once I come again

A snack adium I was an American thing Snack adion I don't know that Type in Jat Whitehall snack adium I think I posted it online I was told that this was an American tradition that you do for the Super Bowl

What I made a stadium out of All I know about it Oh all I know is Just wings and pizza Images images yeah I think it'll be on images Yeah there I made that This year

Uno A couple of years ago That holy shit You made that? Yes That's incredible Yeah it's like got the sliders and deep-fried tater tots and that's an avocado.

You threw a real party here. Well, no, it was just me. It's just me at home at like 4 o'clock in the morning. Oh, Tubbs going to ruin that thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that is Tubbs-esque. So is that lettuce in the middle for the field? No, that's avocado.

Wow, this was to cost $10,000. It looks like it, right? Yeah. It's pretty impressive. And then those were like the pepperami sticks that I fashioned into the posts. Wow. This is why the terrorists are angry, because we're doing this shit over here. That's America.

Hell yeah. Look at that. I mean, I could feed a family of 100 people. Yeah. And we're just taking photos of it. Making it for fun. Wow, good on you, Whitehall. Pretty impressive.

How do you spell? You look like Jack Skellington here. What's the, you're drinking ale, you're eating snack adiums. You're watching food videos. You have a good metabolism? He runs, you said, though. All right. Okay. I just do an ultramarathon every day.

I just do everything go on about it. And gay sex. Oh, yeah. That does burns in Calais. Yeah, yeah, and it burns. Yeah. But yeah, you're in hell of the L.A. must have gotten to you. You're in good shape.

Yeah, how do you deal with L.A. of coming from London? What do you make of it? I think sort of less is more. Yeah. Dip in, dip out. The driving, the phony. Well, I don't drive. Oh.

Can you not drive? I walk around L.A. as well, which is insane. What part of town are you on? Well, last time I was there was in Venice Beach, which is not an area you want to wander around. No, a lot of wackos. Yeah, a lot of RVs. Yeah. So, no, I don't know.

Would you, you know, like a... I don't hate it, but I think extended periods are tough for me there. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a real place, you know. Like, it's all built on showbiz. No one's actually from there. There's too much going on. but it's fun for a week

yeah fun fun fun to dip in and dip out of yeah what's this charlie in the chocolate oh sorry I was doing four in a bed I was anticipating four in a bed well this sounds like another orgy but

what is it I don't know what is it this is just like British TV daytime television that I really like four in the bed oh that's a show with me

they're both sort of similar shows and they're just like like shows that are just orchestrated for people to be like dicks that four or in a bed is like four sets of people that all own like little hotels or like a bed and breakfast and then they all go and stay in each other's bed and breakfast.

But then the premise of the show is that you're meant to like mark down each other's bed and breakfast or hotel. But they're all like small like founding run businesses and it just encourages everyone to be a real like cunt. Oh, fun. Because you have to go there and just like dig around and try and find things to complain about. And you know, they always find like a little bit of dust in the cupboard. And then mark them down for that or say that the breakfast.

So they get rewarded for bringing them down. Yeah, they get rewarded for bringing down someone else's like small business. And then at the end, you're given like a little tray of cash. And then the same is true with come dime with me, which is the same premise. But for like dinner parties where you go around to a different person's house each night of the week. And then at the end, you have to score them down. And then, but it just encourages people to be a horrible guest. Wow.

So this reality. It's reality. It's so cheap. But it's just like a real fixture. of British television and you go around and you've just got to be really snipey and rude about like an evening out and then you you score them at the end oh my wife would love this it's interesting because like great British bakeoff I feel like they're so nice yeah that's really warm-hearted and really nice but then you see chopped in in or not chop but what's the other way you always think

of British people as like a Gordon Ramsey a guy who's gonna like carry the shirt yeah yeah yeah now this just encourages like just really there's a really famous clip of a guy getting really annoyed because his dinner party had been like torn to shreds by everyone else and someone else wins the tray of cash at the end oh it's such a Heather shocked no wait wait go on maybe videos or images and I'll find it I wrote crashes out see though it no no no that that that's the man there I think we put angry man on a come dime with me and it's like one of those it's like a famous at a viral clip that man yes you won jane oh shit you get so he's come last

you want jane oh my god enjoy the money i hope it makes you very happy dear lord what a sad little life jane you ruined my night so you could have the money but i hope now you spend it on getting some lessons in grace and decorum. Damn. ...the reversing dump truck without any tires on. Ooh! Wow. Wow.

Damn. Oh, they looked at camera as well. You've got a young John Oliver in there. So... Well done, Jane. You won, Jane. Those were some good insults. I know.

Some good decorum of a back-up dump truck without tires on. Out tires on? Wow. He kept going with the... Who was he, Nick DePaul? That was like one line after another. Yeah. Wait, before you go, do your tours, but what do you hate about America?

Real quick. This is Jack White. Jesus. You were really slipping, Salaf. Between the gay porn and... No, that was intentional. We got a real boomer back there. What do you hate about America real quick?

Come on, give it to me straight. I'm just curious. What's the zing on us? We zing you guys the bad food, the bad teeth, the weather, you know, the royalty sucks. London doesn't have bad food anymore, though. All right, all right. I think it's gotten good. I don't know.

I feel like right now we're just very thankful for you. What? Really? You're taking a lot of heat. It's just like, you know, no matter what's going wrong. Like in the UK, just turn on the news and look at what's going over here. It feels great. Good point.

Because we had like a bit of a moment with Brexit where it felt like, you know, So our country was just sort of a bit of a laughing stock and carnage, and then you guys have gone to hold my beer. Yeah. Good point. Really great. All right, I'll take it. What does it say? Every cul-de-sac has a dead end.

There you go. Oh, yeah. All right, I'll pull those dates up. Sorry. I thought we'd get something more vicious about America. Okay. Sorry. Yeah, after seeing what you like to watch, I thought you're going to be like, your country's like a reverse dump truck.

reversing dumpsox. See Jack Live. Oh, God. Yeah, that is. Not currently on Torrance us. No, I might do at some point. Oh, okay. Well, keep checking.

Keep checking every day, folks. Maybe I will do it. And watch the burbs on Peacock. You can watch the Burbs, though. That's definitely coming out on Peacock. So you could watch that. All right. Very exciting.

And you've got to get picked up for season two, right? That's the goal? I guess so. Okay. Hopefully. Hopefully, yeah. They leave it open at the end, so there could be more. There's my face.

There he is. Yeah. Do you want to spend more time in America? Are you like, this is good? Good question. Yeah, no, I would like to spend. I'd like, yeah, if it got picked up again, a couple of months in L.A. in sort of January, February, it would be pretty nice.

But yeah. Sorry about Ellen. She moved out there. She came back. She came back. I think she'd like. I thought she's in the English countryside, isn't she? Pull it up?

Yeah, I saw her in the English countryside. Oh, no. When you see it. Yeah. I was in some random hotel in the Cotswolds and I walked past. I swear that's Ellen. Did you say what's up to her? I didn't.

I did do a show once when I was very young. I was one of those like sort of people that they'd like plucked out of obscurity. I'd only been doing stand up for a couple of years. And I was like, I guess this sort of interesting anomaly because I was, I don't know, 1920. And I went on the Ellen show. And I remember I didn't have many bits, but I did have one routine about KFC. and I was really excited to do that.

And then they said, oh, no, you can't do that because she won't have any mention of meat products on the show because she's a vegan. Right. I was like, I don't think that's how veganism works. She is aware that, like, chicken exists. Yeah. I'm not going to be the one that, like, lets her know about KFC

and then that's going to be what, you know, you know, bumps her off the rails. Yeah, you can still talk about men. She doesn't eat men. Well, no, they also said you can't talk about lesbianism. Oh, you can't bring. That's a long bit about cock, though you can't. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, she lives in the British countryside now. Sorry. How was she on the show? Was she nice to her or no? Yeah, she was nice, yeah. But, you know, I was like, I only met her, like, when I walked out onto the, onto the set. She was a kid, so I think she was probably caught.

She walked off set and kicked the dog into a green room and smacked an assistant. Yeah, she did a lot. Comfort ate a bucket of the AFC. She used to have a lot of shit. She had Schumer on really young. She had a lot of young comics on back in the day. I don't know. Yeah, well, you were on Fallon pretty young, weren't you?

Yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah, that was my next TV appearance on US. What about American comedy? Sorry? What about American comedy? You guys hated? No, I love American comedy. All right.

American comedy's great. This guy. Oh, sorry, sorry, my fault. I didn't know you had to go. My bed. All right, where are you going to be there, Sammy? Well, when is this coming out? We'll do these after release?

Yeah, we'll do my afternoon. Oh, get the hell out of here. Yeah, get out of here. You got to go do this show. I can plug it. What? I can plug your dates. Oh, all right.

Plug away. Yeah, I'll tell you. Sam's going to be in Stamford. Yep. It's all sold out. Those are all sold out. They're sold out. So if you're lucky, if you are,

East Providence, these can't all be sold out. They're sold out. It's a small venue. Early show and late show? Tampa, Florida. You know what it's probably here in Tampa. Well, yeah, that one I think February 26, I think we're still good.

February 26. February 26. February 26. 26th, there are still tickets to the third show. Special taping, baby. That's a special taping as well so you could be on Netflix. Tickets available for L.A. Tickets are available for L.A.

May 7th with Joe List, Rachel Feinston and Jordan Jensen. And then Lisbon, August 30th. And I'm adding a bunch of European dates. That's just the first one to go on sale. Lisbon, the prettiest city of urban two. Really? Yeah, so look forward to that one. I can't wait.

That's a great little town. Legal drugs and prostitution. Is that right? Really? Wait, I think that's right. I missed down. You should definitely check. Check.

Can you do marks now? Yeah. Good luck with these names. Mark, you can see in Flagstaff, Arizona, the Orphium Theater. You can go to another venue in Arizona. Swaharita. Swahita. Indianapolis, there'll be two shows there in early and a late one.

And a third and fourth show. I like the way he does this. Very popular in the Buffalo area. You come along. to Buffalo, New York. He'll be in the wonderful city of Portland. Portland, what? Memphis.

Maine. Portland, Maine. Got a lot of Portland's. Providence as well. Rhode Island. This makes our show sound more dignified, too. It's a masterpiece theater. In Lexington, Kentucky.

Dania Beach in Florida. We love Dania Beach in Florida. I do like it. Raleigh. Raleigh. Raleigh. Sir Arthur Raleigh. Raleigh.

Raleigh in New Cross. New Castle. New Castle, don't in North Carolina. North Carolina. Also in Los Angeles at the world famous comedy store. Moncton, Nebraska. We don't know that one. We don't know where that.

Brunswick. It's in Canada. Well, no, nowhere. Spanky? Yeah. Spanky. In what state? In Washington.

You'll be there in Philadelphia. You're a busy man. Philadelphia. He really doesn't want to see this kid. Yeah. Got to get out. You got to get out. just do it like harry stars just do you 30 nights in new york and let them come to you yeah at this point

you don't want to go to brookfield wisconsin or or or orvin california yeah irvine irvine improv that's a good um club tempea i're off in the june we're good we're good we got enough you they can read the phone book it sounds fun so yeah thanks jack that was great yeah and i'll check out a show on peacock the bar thank you I've had a little too much bourbon and Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope and I and Russ. I'm out to lunch here in New York.