We Might Be Drunk - Ep 276: Fluffy w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

Comedian Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias joins Mark and Sam this week as they get into touring stories, fan encounters, and how Fluffy built one of the biggest stand-up audiences in the world. They also dive into cat ownership chaos, the never-ending litter box problem, late-night spending habits, and honest talk about health, relationships, and staying disciplined on the road. Sponsored by: Start investing in your future with Acorns https://acorns.com/wmbd — get a $5 bonus investment when you sign up Tired of the litter box struggle? Try Boxie https://boxiecat.com/WMBD — get 30% off with code WMBD Build your business with Shopify https://shopify.com/drunk — start your one-dollar-per-month trial Take control of your health with Hims https://hims.com/DRUNK — get your free online visit Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #Fluffy #GabrielIglesias #Acorns #BoxieCat #Shopify #Hims #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How cute. This, yeah. Holy shit. This is, this is Roca. This right here's Roca. If you're gonna just start petting it from the back? I know about the back. You have consent.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Get up. Like, see. Snip, sniff, uh, she's scared. Why a chihuahua? I've always had a chihuahua. So like, when I was 12 years old, my first dog ever was a chihuahua.

And then I got a couple, you know, after that. And I've just always, since I was 12 years old, I've always had a chihuahua. And you both love Taco Bell. Nice. Yeah, yeah, that's funny if you're over 40, right? Yo-Kiro. I'm over 40. There you go.

But yeah, she's just, look, I just, Oh, that's great. That would be great if you actually ate her right now. Nice. Here you go. Just the most violent opening to the episode. Thank you. That's a cute dog.

Yeah. Oh, you think she bites. You ought to see what the white girl does. Oh, shit. That's my girlfriend. I haven't, I haven't. I've never been able to publicly put that out there. Like any relationship I've never been, and I've never been public.

I've never posted photos of why I was dating. I always kept it really private because I figured, if I put it out there, then people are going to start reaching out. I get it. I told her, get ready, because, you know, I put it out there. Wow. This is your first public? First public.

Hey, public honky. First public. Well, white women love the public. They go, hey, you've got to post about me. Hey, you got to put me out when it's our anniversary. And you go, oh, you've got to ruin my feed. bitch. Well, the worst one is when you're in the toxic relationship and they're still mad.

You're not posting and you're like, we're going to break up any day. Oh, yeah. And you still post and then you're fucking, you're miserable. You know who you are. You know those groups, those friends who are like, the bad marriage. They're like, my fucking, my honey bear. And you're like, you cheated on her. The more you post, the worst a relationship is.

I've noticed. You know, the guy's like, I love her so much. And a week later, they're done. You know what? Yeah. Over compensation. I got some friends that are doing that right now. Yeah?

Oh, I got a roses. Oh, this and that. Oh, my love. And I'm just like, oh, God, this is so just gross. Are you crazy with gifts? No. I think that's a good sign. That is. I think too many gifts is scary. Yeah. I feel like you're trying to overcompensate for something. Yes, exactly. My time is the biggest gift. Here, here. My time is the biggest gift. Because I could be doing some, you know, other things. But if I'm there, I care. There you go. Make it rhyme. If it rhymes, it's good, right? I don't buy my wife shit. We're having a hit.

There you go. I got an interesting stat here based on people professing their love. Best actress winners are 63% more likely to have their marriage end within four years. Really? Oh, man. Because you're moving on up. Sacrifice. Drop that dead weight.

Well, maybe also you're probably just working a lot, too. Oh, that's true. Yeah, things are different. But I think they're thinking, hey, I'm hot shit now. You said best actress Actress winners I believe it Maybe the Duke can't handle it

Always trying to upgrade Right Always trying to upgrade That's why women get hotter And then they dump their fat piece of shit And then they go get some hot Hunky guy

All right Yeah there we go Some of those dudes Like you ever feel a breakup Coming on You're like I better hit the gym No no

You know I get right That dog does The dog's like Preach Preach Yeah No sometimes you feel it

coming on, you're like, I got to get ready to be single again. Right. So I did a gig in, you ever done Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle? Classic. In Royal Oak, Michigan? No. Oh, it's a great club. But they, I couldn't sell tickets back then, so it was like they'd give away, like a charity would come in and do it. So you'd have like Thursday be women's, women, battered women night or whatever.

Oh, my God. But one of the You guys better laugh. Yeah, right? Oh my God. I give you a taste of the back of my hand. But one night I had service dog graduation night. So it was just a bunch of people with their dogs at the show. You had an entire audience with people with dogs. Full of dogs. Oh, I've never had that. That's pretty cool.

And so I'd be like, I'm bombing. You know, so I was at the grocery store the other day. And, you know, I was getting some grated cheese for my pizza. And I was like, God damn it, because you can't tell the dog to shut the fuck up. You take your keys out. You're like, come on. Give me something. Throwing treats out at some point.

That happened to me once though. Way back in the day, Comedy Zone in Warwick, Rhode Island, in a movie theater, a piece of shit club. But the whole crowd was breast cancer survivors. Best crowd of my life. Oh, okay.

They've been through hell. They've seen shit. So they wanted to laugh. So I was like, I've never killed this heart of my life. That's a good point. I think people who have been through real shit, like no one's writing a fucking,

no one's going to Karen comment card you in that crowd. Yeah. Lapped my tits off. But no, I'm with you. You do those benefits show, like for addicts, drug addicts and whatnot. They're the best crowds because they've just... They've been through it all. And it's like, how are you going to offend someone?

Like, the things I used to do for... To get high? Like, really? Like, really? I'm going to offend you? Exactly. You know? And I think that's awesome, though, that you did a show like that for breast cancer

survivors. It was awesome. You know, once you go through chemo and stuff like that, it's like nothing's going to phase you. Exactly. Nothing's going to phase you. You're just... happy to be alive.

Right. And I think more people need to appreciate life. I know. Cop audiences are pretty good too because they see dead bodies. They go shootouts and all this shit. Well, the things they say, come on. Yeah, that too. You get some PBA cards that night.

Oh, yeah. You always want to be like, give me one of these. I'm just like, all right, I got a few of them. Yeah. I get a little good-out-jail-free card. Yeah. Yeah, what is that? Show this to, if you get stopped, just show, show this to.

I think I got one of those. Those are those. Those work. Hey, man, hey, balling over here. Look at that. Oh, that's spot pay. I love that. Yeah, I'm a hooker.

Hold on. I think I got a PBA here. If I wasn't a comic, I'd never have cash on me, ever. It's all comedy. Yeah. It's just those seller spots. Yeah. I'm impressed with the amount of cards you carry.

Yeah, well, I'm old school. I stopped carrying a wallet a long time ago. I just used my little, the little tiny wallet that goes on the back of the magnetic that goes in the back of the phone. So three cards. That's all I got. There it is. PBA. 23.

Do they expire? I think after a year After a year? Yeah That's fucking brutal You gotta get one every year You gotta read out Tim, good old Tim, all right

All right Yeah You got the wallet on the phone That guy? Oh, that's good stuff It's the one where it's just You know, it's on the back of the phone Oh man

But no cash No, well, you know I keep cash on me I see I don't have any cash on me right now But you need some Usually nice Okay

But you're like You gotta be a trillionaire at this point Oh stop it Stop it. Two shows at Dodgers Stadium? I'm doing all right for myself. How crazy. So you did a show at Dodger Stadium and then you added a second show?

Yes. That's got to feel insane. It was very much insane. So I was selling more tickets than the Dodgers at the time. And now they're killing it. So now they're killing it with Otani and the rest of the team. Right back-to-back champion. So, yeah, I feel like I was the catalyst for that.

Yeah. I kicked it off. Damn. Wow. That is cool, man. So where do you stand? Like at home plate? How does that work?

You know, I've seen many concerts at Dodger Stadium, and the stage is set up in the outfield. It's set up over by the bleachers. And so roughly, you're sitting probably right around, what, second base? Oh, okay. So the seats come all the way out and stuff like that. Wow. They try not to have seats actually on the bases and stuff like that because I don't want to mess up the mound. Sure.

They have like a thing they put on the floor. There it is. They put a thing on the floor so it kind of protects the grass. Oh, my God. How was the show, though? Because I feel like comedy outdoors always kind of sucks. You know, as somebody who does a lot of fares, you're always dealing with the elements. You're always dealing with, oh, you've got planes and helicopters, you got bugs, you got the weather.

Sometimes it's humid. Sometimes it's raining. Right. And I've had to perform through all of that. The scary one is when it's raining. And I'm like, I probably shouldn't be out here. Yeah. And they're like, we can't get our deposit back?

And I'm like, no, I'm out there freaking kicking water like Tatee, right? But luckily, yeah, that's a real picture. it looks fake, but that was, man. That is unbelievable. Yeah. If I had a Tinder, that'd be my picture right now. That'd be it. This is this guy.

Damn. Imagine that, all those people laughing coming back at you. That's a beautiful thing. Incredible feeling, you know. And I thought that I was going to have to adjust the show. Because anytime you perform for a big crowd, you always, you know, you slow down a little bit to allow for the timing and everything. But in a situation like that, it was almost like a comedy club because the sound was so good.

They had, I think they call them delayed towers out in the crowd. So they were, everybody was getting it immediately. Oh my God. So it wasn't like a thing. That's incredible. And did they do any baseball? No, no. And I was terrified at first because it's like I've done the intro at Dodger Stadium.

I've done the, you know, and now it's time for Dodger baseball. And you would hear it and it would sound now, now, time, fine, five, five, you know. And I'm like, oh, God, I hope it doesn't sound. Like that. Were you the first comic to do a ballpark? I know Byrd did Fenway, right? Yes. I was the first one to do Dodger Stadium.

Bill Bird did his a few months later. All right. You beat them. I mean, no, yeah. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, right there, you know. Totally, totally. And that's your team, too, the Dodgers? Dodgers, yes.

That's crazy. That's amazing. So to do a show that size at home was freaking awesome. Did they give you any cool swag as like a little gift? I get perks. I get perks. What kind of perks? Any of the swag.

I make my own merch so I can make whatever I want. Right. But, you know, whether it's a bat or something signed and stuff like that, you know, show up on a special day, it's like, ooh. But I haven't really asked for anything. You know, I think if you ask for it, they'll give you more. But there was no, like, well, now we want to present you with this and present you with that. But you don't get tickets for life and shit?

I mean, you should be able to just walk in the stadium now. I'm pretty sure if I asked to go, you know, again, I think it's just if I make a call, but I haven't. Okay. And I don't want to be that guy either. Hey, you know who I am, right? Yeah, that's true. You know what I did here. Right.

No, no. Right. So, damn. I'm just happy that it happened and I can talk about it and it's, you know, there forever. It'll be on my tombstone. So when I'm, you know, born this day, died this day, and on the bottom, Dodger Stadium. Hell yeah. That's your number one, you think so far?

Biggest show, yeah. It's pretty good. I mean, just achievement. Just achievement, yeah. And then two of them. What's that Hollywood Cemetery? The Hollywood Cemetery? You know what I'm talking about?

They have, like, Melville. They'll have movie nine and stuff like that. But they have like Mel Blanc who voiced Bugs Bunny in on his tombstone. It says, that's all folks. Hey. That is the best. That is the best. You can't top that tombstone.

That's great. It's either Carlin or Dangerfield. You got to look it up. But he was here just a minute ago. Ooh. That's a great tombstone. Can't remember who was. It was like Jack Parr might be, he won't be right back.

Hey. That's great. Yeah. I like that. Maybe mine'll be a, you're dead to me. Okay. Sorry. It'll just be the dog

Whoop Yeah, there you go Rough Yeah That was a hell of a show That was really bad That dog show Brutal

And then I lady heckle me And I said, Ma'am, you're less well Behaved than a dog And that did well You, ma'am Are the true bitch Yes

So if it was a graduation For dogs That you know Like was it like Obedience school Service dogs Well shouldn't they Have not barked then?

I feel like that's part of the deal, you know. You'd think, but I think I was bombing so bad that they were like, Yeah, you were being heckled by a dog. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the dog's like, I'm on the clock, but this is ridiculous. This is horrible. Yeah. Nothing worse of getting heckled by a dog with a vest.

Right. Yeah, and I can't pet it either. The working dog. Yeah, nowadays all dogs are service dogs, I feel. Like, everybody's, you know. It's a scam. Look. If you have a note, you can get your dog.

Yeah. The blind guy, all right, go nuts. but this guy's got a fucking doxin on a plane. Like, get out of here. The dog's jappier than everyone here. The dog's giving me anxiety. I don't buy it. I've heard about people having different animals too, like a peacock.

I heard of peacock parrot. And I'm like, okay, that's different. There's a woman in my neighborhood. She's got a bird on her shoulder, and you can tell she's doing it for attention. Because there's like, it'll be at the coffee shop outside. You're trying to work, just zone out. And she's just got this bird screaming. And everyone's just looking at her like,

you know what you're doing but she just does it but you know it's fun you walk past her you don't even say anything because she was dying for you to say something and you just go nope I got up and that's her icebreaker right yeah that's her icebreaker

exactly I want to play for an audience full of birds and uh look at that there's an ostrich a horse a peacock this is ridiculous

it's kind of like a weed card if you let somebody a pig If you let somebody, that's me and my wife, if you let somebody or if you let somebody cut corners, they're going to do it, basically. If you give someone a loophole, they're going to abuse it. That's always going to be the case.

That's the term. There you go. Now we're getting somewhere. So now what do you go from Dodger Stadium? Are you back in arenas? So after Dodger Stadium happened, I actually contemplated retiring because I'm like, I just jumped a shark.

What am I supposed to do now? Exactly. The craziest goal. And after you do it, it's like, okay, like, what am I supposed to do now? So it's like, all right, I still had an obligation to do another special. So I'm like, all right, well, I'm going to go back on the road and just, you know, go back to the routine. Yeah, what's your process, right? Do you go smaller venues to build back up, or what do you do?

A lot of times I do like going back to clubs. And that's what I did. These last couple months that I was getting ready for SOFI, I just wanted to get in as many. That was the new goal, by the way. That's amazing. In order for me to get excited about wanting to go out and tour and just build up a new set, I needed to set a goal. And so that's when I approached Joe Koi about the idea about teaming up and said, hey, man,

come on, man, look, this is where we're at in our career. And I did the math. I said, okay, you sell out these many shows. This is how many tickets you sell. This is how many tickets I sell. This is the biggest market we have. All the boxes were just like, if we do this, it can't fail. Just based on the math alone.

it cannot fail. And, you know, I was right. And you're doing it? And we're doing it next week, next Saturday, SoFi Stadium. So that is, on Sunday I'm going to find myself in that same situation. Wow. Now what are we supposed to do? It's funny because you achieve your goal and then you're just like, do I just kill myself?

What do I do now? My thing is that I just always, I never want to be a shell of myself. I never want to fade. That is my biggest fear. I do not want to fade. If anything, I'd rather end on a high note. Of course. And then that's the way you should go out.

Go out on a high note. Go out Seinfeld style. But what would you do if you retire? Like, what's your days looking like if you just retire? I would find other things to get into that I might not be as passionate about it, whether it's voice acting or acting or, you know, maybe radio. Maybe I'll start my own podcast. There's so many different veins I can go into.

Porn? And so it's just, you know, believe it or not, I've been approached. Really? Oh, yeah. I've been a proff. I've been, yes. Who's talking to you? It's not a matter of a company, but I've been offered money to do things.

Whoa. From Fluffy to Fluffer. Well, you know, that'll be the name of the book. I can write a book. So I definitely want to be involved in comedy in some fashion. I thought about buying a club multiple times. I came close to buying the Ice House recently. Recently, that was very close.

Came really close to it, and unfortunately, it just did not pan out. The owner, Johnny Bus, from the Bus family, the Lakers, we had worked something out where it's like, okay, this is the, you know, this is what they want. I agreed to it. I came up in the conversation because it was two people or companies in the running. It was this company, I want to say it's a stand-up something in New York out here. There's a club. There's a club that's got a chain. New York Comedy Club.

Something's stand-up. Oh. They have multiple locations. New York Comedy Club? I think it's New York College. They bought Stand-Up, New York. I think that's... So there's three of them and there's one in Connecticut now.

So there was a club out here that was in the running for it. And then they approached me because they knew I had a history with the club. Yeah. And they figured where I'm at right now, it might make sense. Because they know I'll take care of it. I'll continue the legacy. I'll make sure that I cherish it and take good care of it because that's where I started. Yes. And once we agreed on it, everything was all set. We're supposed to take a meeting. And what happens? They sell the Lakers for $9 billion. And all of a sudden, my phone stops ringing.

stops ringing. No more emails, no more replies. That's it. It went away. Aye, yeah, yeah. It's a lot of money. If I become a billion, there's a lot of people I'm going to stop talking to. Just FYI. I think they know who they are. Good point. Yeah, so that was the last one. So I think either I'm going to get. get into owning a club or, you know, mentoring, man. There's a lot of comics out there that, hey, man, I can help you. I'm not going to do it for the money. It's just to stay in the game. But at a certain point, I'm like, man, how much longer can I do this at this level without

falling off? But the fact that you're conscious of it is a good sign. A lot of guys are like, I'll be huge forever. No, that's no, that's unrealistic, man. And I agree. All it takes is one bad tweet and you're deuces, you know what I mean? So, yeah, but your crowd's, what, pretty Hispanic? It's a little bit more than that.

I mean, you know, I don't think of wrong. Like majority. That's, if we're talking to L.A., California, absolutely. Yeah. Texas, same thing. But you got to figure, I go to freaking 30-plus countries where they don't even know what a Mexican is until I get there. Well, if you got Joe Koi with the Filipino crowd, you got a Mexican crowd. That's the hardest working crowd in America.

Right. Yeah, it's Jolly B meets King Taco. One Night Only, man. He got to come to that show. Jolly B. I figured I beat you to it because I knew you were warming up to it. I see it coming. I didn't know it was Filipino.

That's great. But yeah, that's incredible. But yeah, you got to stay in the game. Like, I used to open for Seinfeld. And he was like, hey, comedies and cars. I love that show. He goes, thank God for that show. Or I wouldn't be relevant.

And I'm like, your TV show is on forever. Forever. Your show is on forever. But that's how he thinks. He's like, I got a new show. Thank God. I'm backing the zeitgeist. People don't know sign.

I mean, sometimes these shows come on Netflix and they're like, oh, what? I don't know this. Or they don't know that he's a comic because, you know, the show's big, but he's an actor in this situation. Right, right. It's crazy how clueless people are now to old stuff. And it's insane considering that information is right at your fingertips. You can find out anything in two seconds. And we know less.

Back in the days, like, you had a thesaurus or a frigging encyclopedia. You had to really research, newspaper. Yeah. You had to really work for the info. Right. That's true. We watch an HBO special that would come up every six, seven months. Yeah, I know.

They felt actually special. Yeah. Because it was, you know, once or twice a year. Whereas like now it's like, man, all right, every Tuesday, here's a new comic. There's probably, do you think over under 4,000 comedy specials a year? What do you think? There's, God. Yeah.

You figure between Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, and, yeah. Oh, especially on YouTube. YouTube, changed the game. Anyways, there's no gatekeeper. You just throw something up there And call it a special Which is great But then now it's like

There's so much shit They are like oh my god It's just like more and more and more And it's like where do you land I get annoyed when there's like I gotta download like peacock For like fucking for one sports event I know

There's so many different things You know But that's true That's where we're at now Yeah That is annoying But how many special you got now This next one will be number 10

Where else have you been in the world where you're just like, this is crazy? Like what other parts of the world? Because you've been everywhere, right? All over the Middle East, definitely. It was always an experience, and I'm just like, wow, okay. Like my first time in the Middle East was in Jordan. I did him on Jordan.

I went there with Russell Peters. Russell, I credit him a lot because he's one of the guys that inspired me to start traveling more outside of the U.S. Him and Dunham. They were the first ones to really start going and doing that. But as far as culture shock for me, I think maybe Japan. Japan was very like, oh, Oh, okay, it's different here.

Now, that was for military. I did a U.S.O. tour there, but I was there for a week, and I got to just see how people live there. And I'm like, wow, it's a culture shock. You know, when you're loud, that's a form of disrespect there. So silence is literally golden in Japan. Good place to break up with a woman. Nice, right? Just real quiet.

Super clean country. Yeah. Incredibly clean. I thought Singapore was really clean. Japan is spotless. Like, they don't even have homeless people. Whoa. I talked about high side.

I think they kill them there. I think if you're unemployed for a week, it's like, hood, and they're freaking sushi. And then there's no waste there. I believe it. Many places, I mean, I'm trying to think the one that really stood out to me. Definitely Saudi Arabia was just one for, you know, for the books. You go on Iran?

I've not been to Iran. It's a cheap thing. Right now, you can probably get a good deal. Yeah. I have a lot of friends that went to South Africa. I want to go to South Africa. That's one of the countries that I haven't been to yet, but I've been to over 25. Woo!

Wow. I did my honeymoon in South Africa. It was amazing. But I've never rid of Japan. That's next on my list. Japan has been on my bucket list for a very long time, so that happened recently. It was a lot of fun. Damn.

You know they got a birth problem over there. What do you mean? Like their birth rate is through the floor. No one's fucking. And China through the roof. Is that right? Well, China, they got a big population in China. It's overcrowded.

Yeah, through the luf. How about that? It's where they make Viagra. I don't know. Who knows? They make a lot of stuff over there. Mark, that prior joke about Chinese fucking... Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you give your money a chance to grow.

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Oh, my God. I learned it from you. Oh, no. Chinese fuck like this. Wah-ha! I don't know. I don't think that's me. No, I said it's prior.

I know, I don't think I told you that. Oh, my God. Oh, sorry. You definitely didn't do that act out. That was pretty good. Whatever happened was tequila, by the way. I was hoping to taste the tequila. Joe, did we get that tequila?

Oh, he's got it. Okay, sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to call you out. Just, I want to try it. Just give me a little neat. Just a little shot, splash. Oh, you already had it. There we go.

What do you call it? Pocho Fino. Pocofino. So this is your tequila. This is my tequila. We have a whiskey and you have a tequila. I've been approached. This is the bottle right there.

There you go. Since you guys are all about it, let's look at check it out right here. I'll show the different cameras right here. So on the bottle, Pochofino is the name. I came up with the name. I designed the label on a napkin. And then the real artist took over and did that.

these two dogs were dogs that I had before and they're no longer with us so I wanted to honor them on the bottle because they were there when I drink a lot. So basically I was approached multiple times over the years to do a tequila because I do drink but it just didn't feel right because you know you like what you like you like and why deviate from that and plus you know fans are going to know

and man he's full of shit. He doesn't really drink that and so it's kind of like eh I'm good But in this case, I was involved from day one. So it wasn't like someone just said, here's the bottle. You want to freaking, you know, put your name behind it. Yeah. I was literally involved with the entire creation of it. So the name, the design, the tasting.

Oh, the tasting was so much fun. Yeah. Because I told them what I liked. And they're like, well, I guess we could try to make something like that. And they showed up to my place with like 30 bottles. And the whole day was just dedicated to test. testing and tasting the tequila. That's exciting.

We had one of those after, on an old episode, I guess, about whiskey, and it turned into like March Madness style. Like, all right, you two now have to go head to head. You know, it's fun. We got after it. So that was a good time. And, you know, totally involved with the company, next century spirits. They've taken exceptional care of me.

Really, really good people to work with. And so we feel really good about it. This is damn good tequila. So, I like, what does Pochereufino mean? So, sorry. They said, well, Gabriel, you know, we think that, you know, all these different people with tequila's out there. We got the rock, Kevin Harden, multiple people with their tequilas. But they're like, culturally, we think there should be a Mexican that has his own tequila.

That's fair. And I'm like, you know, I agree. And they're like, well, you're from Mexico. You should have one. I said, I'm not from Mexico. I said, I was born in the U.S. My family's from Mexico. And so that's the story where it's like it's a Mexican-American tequila.

So it's like the best of both worlds. It's legal. So that's the story right there. It's like it's both. Nice. I heard that. I like it. It goes good with ice.

Oh my God. I'm joking. This is damn good. That was funny. Have they pulled up to your shows outside, ice? Or no? You know what? To my knowledge, I don't know.

I don't know. Those cults didn't go through, I guess. It sucks what's going on, man. But, yeah, I try not to be too vocal. Kokoky to want. No matter what you're saying, someone's going to disagree with it. That's true. Here, here. So we do this thing. I got Tourette's. Sorry, what? I was going to say. We do this thing on the show called Working on Any Bits, where you like test out or talk about bits you're working on with these guys and see if, uh... There you go. I think it was they fuck fast. Wukah. I fucked up. I fucked up. I literally have a tape of you telling me that.

Is that right? Anyway. So, you're working on any bits? I mean, I don't know. Let me. You got a prep us for this. Yeah, you don't fucking... When did you become the setup guy? What the hell's happening here? We're never ready for this shit. Wait, I had a question. Now I went blank.

You threw them off. Oh, do you still have your VW collection? Oh, yeah. That is a hell of a collection you got there. 30, 30 buses. 30 buses. Wait, what? Yeah, he collects the old VW, the cool 70s ones.

Mm-hmm. Where do you stock all these? I have a building in Long Beach. Holy shit. There's him with Leno. Yeah, there you go. 30 of them. Lennel's been in my place a few times.

He's actually the one that inspired the car collecting. I did an episode. There you go. Jesus. It just keeps going. Wow. Wow. Yeah, that was a fish tank.

The TV show tank came over and they built a fish tank out of Volkswagen. It was pretty cool. So the goal is to just make an entire Volkswagen museum there. And it's already set up. So when I'm dead and gone, that'll be a place where people can visit and Wow. Because anytime I do tours there, people are like, oh my God, all these Volkswagen.

And no, I don't drive them all. Yeah. From time to time, I'll take one out. But at the end of the day, there's still 50-year-old cars. So, you know, you're not very reliable. Sure, yeah. And if you scuff a rim, it's like, it's not like a hubcap. Yeah.

You got to replace it. Really, it's expensive. So what is it about this car that hits you? It was my first car. Oh. When I was hanging out with Leno for one of the episodes, his guys that are the ones responsible for getting him his cars. They said, well, if there's anything you're looking for, let us know.

We're good at finding cars. Yeah. And at the time, I had gotten my ex-girlfriend back her first car. Not the actual car, but her first car was like a transam, and they found one that looked just like it. Uh-huh. So I got out of the car. And they're like, if you think of anything else you want, I go, well, maybe I want to get my

first car. I go, and then I gave him the year and model of a Volkswagen bus. And like that, they found it. They brought it, and I'm like, oh, wow. And they're like, well, if you want anything else, let us know. And I said, well, if you come across anything else, you think I might like, you let me know. And we played that game for two years, and next thing, you know, the building was full of cars. Whoa.

And I wound up making friends with a gentleman who does restorations and his, you know, his thing is Volkswagen buses. And so he's done the restorations on all the buses. All those buses are pristine. They're beautiful. They're beautiful. So. Do you ever drive them at? or no?

Rare. Because, man, I'm telling you, as soon as you scrape one or something, you just, you feel it. It's so painful. Like, oh, it's just, because you know how long it took to get them that way. So it's more of like a museum. That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is, which is why you see the artwork on the walls. I commissioned an artist to come in and paint these, you know, really nice, beautiful

paintings. And it's nice. It really is. What do you think? I mean, look, I'm going into my accounting brain, but what do you think that total worth is on all these puppies. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. No, I'll tell you. My accountant told me, she says, you can keep buying these cars.

They're only going to go up in value. She goes, you don't do cocaine, so go for it. Yeah. That was the direct quote. You don't do cocaine, so go for it. There you go. She said, Volkswagen's and Rolexes. You can buy as many because they're only going to go up.

Okay. What, yeah, what are we looking at? About $5 million. Oh, mama. All right, see, you have that one tweet coming. out, then you can sell a few of these puppies. That's your parachute package. If the shit ever hits the fan, they're going to be a sale.

Damn. Oh, yeah. That's a lot of, he's getting triggered as a Jewish guy. That's a lot of VW here. Oh, I'm sorry about that, bro. We got over. I showed him my pizza oven once, he flipped. But yeah, that is, that's beautiful. You and Leno, Seinfeld, you always have a hanger of cars.

Yeah, so Leno's not really the biggest fan of the bus. What? Yeah. And Seinfeld, he's more of the Porsche guy. Sure. He's the Porsche guy and, you know, I'm the bus guy. So that's my thing. That's cool.

And that kind of fits all your vibes, you know? And it's chill. So if I do take one out, it's, you know, it's not like, oh, my God. You know, a lot of people, whenever, you know, putting gas in one of those, people come up and they'll tell a story, oh, my uncle and my dad had one of these. Oh, I remember we drove up the coat. There's always a cool, fun story attached to the ones. That's you listening to one of their stories. That's a dog there.

too. Oh, the dog made it. He's sleeping too. Oh, yeah, you can see it. That's Joe Coy going, well, I'm going to open. I'll do 20. Oh, yeah, how do you figure that out? Who opens and who closes that one?

Have you talked about it? Yeah, absolutely. So in that situation with SOFI, talking about, okay, who's going to open, who's going to close? I have no issue with being the opener, and I think it's a responsibility that I should take on, because when I did Dodgers Stadium, I broke curfew. I went way over. Oh, shit. So I know what that's like.

So I figure... And that costs you money? Quarter million. Because you wanted to go long. Well, because I did go long. Not because I wanted to. I didn't know that that's what they were going to find me. I think if somebody would have been on the side of the stage and be like,

Gabe, you're the reason they can afford Otani. You might want to cut it off. Jesus Christ. I've done shows before. That's like three VWs, dude. What the hell? Exactly. So I've done shows here in New York at Radio City, and there's another venue.

I forget the name of it, but I remember it was a thing where if you hit curfew at midnight, I think it was like 25K every like 30 minutes or something like that. And Union One here in New York does not mess around. No, they do not mess with them. Chappelle owes them $8 million right now. Yeah, I remember I was on stage and my tour manager at the time run. out and he yells, Gabe, you got less than a minute to get off the stage or they're going to find you $25,000. And I had a clock on the floor and I just remember looking and I'm like, I'm seeing the dial

and I'm like, holy shit. And the whole crowd heard it. So I said, thank you. Good night. And I just, he goes, run off the stage because you legally have to be off the stage by midnight or they tax your ass. Yeah, this happened to me in Philly. I think the guy screwed me because he's like, you got to be off the stage.

by 11. If you're on a stage at 1101, that's your ass. We're going to find you of 500 bucks every 30 seconds or whatever. So I was like, all right, no problem. We wrap the show up. I say bye, thank you everybody. I'm leaving. And the guy goes, can you do a photo with all the staff and all the grips? And I said, uh, well, sure, yeah, it's 1056, 1058, whatever it was. But I was like, he asked to do the photo. So if you want to do a photo, we can do a photo. And we did the photo with all the guys in the, you know, get the guys in the front low, the guys in the back tall, here we go. we got it and he goes oh 1102 that's bullshit

gotta find you swear to God no way I know we did a sketch about it you got suckered into that and I told me I told a guy and it was in the union he's like that's the oldest trick in the book you fell for that and I go he asked that's not real dude true story he was there oh my god how much they find you 500 bucks oh but it for like a minute and a half but yeah he screwed me Philly that was at the miller theater I still remember it damn I'm so glad no one asked me for a picture at that

Nice. Don't do it. Keep your eye on the clock. I remember Mark told his manager, he was like, and his manager was like, it's just $500. And he was like, then you fucking pay it. Yeah, that's true. So to answer your question, I'm going to go first on this one.

Nice. I'm going to go first on this one. And you know what, Joe's... Do you have another opener? Is it just you two? We plan on having some special guests and then, you know, we're going to do like a pre-show. So let's say the show starts at seven.

The pre-show started six, and that's where we put in the homies. You know what I mean? Yeah. His normal openers, my normal openers, to give him a chance to just warm up the crowd. And we're going to encourage the audience to get there sooner than later because it's not like a club where you could fill it in, you know, 30 minutes. Right. It takes a long time for people to park, walk from the car, to the door, check in, scan your ticket, go through security, find your seat. Right.

Get a soda. Go to the bathroom. I mean, it takes a while. So let the openers. We're encouraging them to get there super early because. There's also going to be another concert happening right up the road at Intuit Dome and at the forum next door. Oh, geez. Who are you going against?

I think it's, I said, Pesso Pluma. Oh, no. Yeah. There's somebody that's somebody that's going to sell out for sure. Yeah. And that might eat some of your people. Yeah, nice. Poso Pluma.

Yeah, so, again, I got no problem going first on this one. It's not an ego thing. The two of us are good friends. and we just feel like, man, a show like this is something that has never been done, needs to be done. And, you know. I agree.

And going first is like a little more, you're done. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're done. You can chill. You close it. They're up there. You're having a cocktail. You're like, enjoy.

Yeah, but in my situation, I either got to deal with people still coming in. Oh, that's true. And sunlight. Oh. You know. Yeah. So there's, there's pros and cons to both slots. But can you have the openers, eat that sunlight, eat that people coming in?

And, you know, that's what an opener is. And originally the plan was we were each going to do 90 minutes. So to make it a three-hour set. And which case that probably would have been a, you know, we would have been cutting it really close on that one. So we had a conversation and he's like, dude, we should really keep it closer to an hour this way. I agree. We keep the people still excited, more engaged.

And I'm like, I get it. Let's do it. Yeah. I think that's fair. So that gives us a little bit of an extra buffer just in case. you know, I go a little bit over or Joe goes a little bit over. Right. But I already know.

Like, if I do go over, I'll own it and I'll cover whatever that is. Yeah. If I do that. But I don't want to do that because I just, you know, I've been working on my set for the last couple months. And I've only been doing clubs. So I went back to just straight up improvs and levity and freaking, you know. Funny bones, heliums. It's great.

It feels good, though, man. It gets you tight. It cuts the fat. It does. Because on average, with the regular shows, I'm doing three shows a week. doing the arenas, going back to the clubs, I can do six shows. Exactly.

You get the reps, and it's hard to work out in an arena, obviously. You know, the clubs, you can tweak the jokes a little better, I think.

Yeah, the arena, there's a certain expectation. And if you're trying out shit at the arena, they're like, I don't know. At the club,

they're forgiving. Yes. They're more buzzed. Right. So, there's a... I do want to see a hipster comic in an arena.

Like, what else? Oh, I hate that. Notes. I hate that. Yeah. Are you seeing I think that a lot of comedy shows are going viral, the guys that are just pull out their

phone and read their jokes on the phone. Oh, no. And I'm just like, oh. I don't love that either. That better be a new material night. Yeah. We do new material night to sell it. But I feel like those jokes aren't even like, it's not real bits.

It's more like jokey joke. Oh, like tweets or something. Yeah, like yeah. Yeah, like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now, how the hell did you come up with a 25-minute story? That, I've never had a 25-minute bit in my life.

When you do a bit that that is that long, do you, do you write it out or do you just keep talking and you do know the beats and where it's going to end? So I've never written anything out. I cannot just sit and it's too structured for me. You don't have like emails or word docs or anything? No. So what I do is all my shows are recorded. Audio.

Audio every single show. And one of my openers, he's really good at structuring and he helps me out whenever I do specials. He'll break down the sets, time codes, so that when we go into editing, we present the, you know, the editor with, these are how long the bits are. These are the time codes. We want to take time off of, you know, so that he's really structured and I appreciate that. But me, I can't do it. Yeah.

You can't sit and write up. Okay, here's the premise. And you know, they teach the whole, and you do the circle and then you do the line. And then you're building on this premise. I just can't do it because it's work and I fucking ate work. I hate work. I want to have fun. I'd rather go out on stage and just start venting and telling stories.

And whatever gets to laugh, cool. I keep. Whatever doesn't get the laugh, that's where I start trimming. I go back and listen. All right. There's this a minute gap where there's no laughter. That's too long. We've got to shorten that.

So cut to the chase. Right. And so I've done that over the years. You will not find a single notebook, a single thing where I wrote anything else. That's wild to me. That is fucking crazy. I have a really good memory on stage. Offstage, I can't find my fucking keys.

And so it's crazy that I can work like that. I will use bullet points. So like let's say I'm doing the Tonight Show. All right. There's Q card or whatever. I appreciate the bullet points. Yeah. You know what I mean?

And also, too, when you're doing a set like that, you're taking your, you're not doing your normal routine that you do every night. So you already know it. You flow. What you're doing a tonight show, you got to, okay, we're taking this four minute piece right here. And here we go. This is this long. This is this long. This is this long.

And go. And then you got to hope that the audience either is with you or not too much with you where they give you too much applause. where you're like, you're taking away my couch time. Stop clapping. You know? Yeah, yeah. You just want to do your thing. Damn.

But I cannot sit and write stuff out. So when I have comedy friends, I go, hey, man, let's sit and write. I go, yeah, no, I don't. I don't do that. When I was in high school, I was on the speech team. Same thing. Like, I would just go up and talk. That was my thing.

I go up and talk and whatever, whatever worked, worked, and whatever didn't work, all right, we'll just, we'll scrap that. Yeah, yeah. But that's where I got my bones, was in school on the speech team. Just getting up, be comfortable talking in front of people, comfortable with silence, comfortable with just people staring at you. And once I started doing stand-up, it was just like, okay, we're good. I just can't remember everything.

I have to look at my paper before I go on just to be like, okay, oh, don't forget the dog joke. Don't forget the shoe joke. Don't forget the couch joke. But if I go up there, I'll go, oh, shit. Yeah, what would I miss? Also, too, like the stories that I'm telling, I tell stories that things that happen. So it's a memory thing. I'm like, and then I did this, and then I did this.

And then I did this. So it's like, it's based on a true story. But it blows my mind that you can't. But even if it's a true story, it blows my mind that you don't, like, there's like a beat that I would have to write out. Just saying how I would do it. I was like, I would need to write out a beat, you know, in a word doc or in a notepad and be like, this is where I say the joke this way. This is this laugh. When I do a set list, it's almost at first, it's like every laugh.

And then it kind of, I'm like, I got it. and then it becomes more like every topic. It becomes smaller. But it starts with like, this is every laugh when I'm building, you know? Yeah, yeah. But maybe that's fucking insane. I know Bill Burr's same way.

He doesn't write anything down. He just goes out. I think Jim Jeffrey's same way too. There you go. Because he would tell me it's like, he said it's like, oh, my story's 25 minutes. How could I write it down?

I was like, man. Yeah. I would at least start with it. But you know where you're going. Like when you tell a long story, you know what the ending is usually, right? If I were to write something down, For me, it almost feels like it's a script.

And whenever I act and I got to follow a script, I have a real tough time memorizing my lines. It's just like, because I'm not enjoying it. I'm not enjoying it. And so I sit down with someone and then we just go over the lines over and over and over. And I'm like, I fucking hate this. So the idea of having to do that with my set, with my material, it's like I don't feel like it's going to come out the same way. It's going to be very mechanical with a deluxe. delivery like you know every show if you

I've listened to multiple shows and the wording changes the delivery does change every single time I do it there's a high there's a low I forget to do a a minute in there somewhere and it's like oh shit I forgot to do it like I missed this part right here because I'll have my guy who goes hey by the way you forgot this whole chunk like oh shit hey it still worked so

but isn't the part of you missed that chunk I think like that's that's why I'm shocked you don't write it down because I think I'd be like Oh, fuck, I forgot. There's always one word I forget. I'm like, fuck, I should have said this word instead of that word. The only time I get stressed out about it is when I'm doing a special. That's why I refuse to do a special live. I will never do a special live.

Crazy. Because I don't need that stress. No. And if you mess up, it's just like, oh, really? So always do two. For me, I always do two. And the first one, I'll flub a few things. That second one, I'm always down.

Yeah, yeah, totally. Always dialed in on that second one. Yeah. For any reason. Like one time I was, when I did that special, I was telling you about Aloha Fluffy where I talked about the story about the Middle East, I was going through like a bad cold and you can hear it. You can hear my nasal like I was just messed up. I probably had like, I forget what my temperature was.

But I was struggling and I did forget a big piece. And that's the only time I had to go back and pull from the first show. Oh, wow. And then insert it. And then when you watch the whole thing, you're like, you could, you can hear it. You don't see it because the editor was so good, but you can hear the difference in my voice where I'm good, but then it cut back to the night before,

and all of a sudden you hear the voice change. You can hear it. Yeah, yeah. Anything like that. Like if I have a couple too many drinks, I feel that slur coming. I'm like, oh, I suck. Yeah.

It's like, it gets in my head. Or if I'm stuffed up, I get to my head. Anything that fucks with my voice kills me. Yeah, but as far as notes go, Only during specials, that's when I feel the neat. Okay, let's go over some stuff and just kind of like, all right. Yeah. Feels good right now to set list before specials because you're like,

that's the last time I have to do it with this shit. Yeah. There's something nice about that. Once it's out there, then it's just like let it fade. Yes. And then I start incorporating new material on top of that old stuff. And then you just kind of phase it out. Exactly.

That's a great feeling. Yeah. Especially that one joke, you're like, I never really even liked that joke. I'm so glad I can drop that one. But it helps to support whatever the next bit. Like there's bits that I hate, but it sets something up so that I can call back later and slam it. Exactly, exactly. So you need that.

Totally. It's like a little boost for the new bit. Yeah, yeah. But movies have that too. You're like, what the hell is this scene? Then you're like, oh, right? I mean, sometimes you've got to do that. Man, I find this was, I guess, in Hawaii.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, there we go. Aloha Fuffy. I do not do well in Hawaii because I think they're, I feel like the crowd's like, I live in Hawaii. And I don't need a laugh at your bullshit. I already got it made. I do think there's some truth about when your life is too easy. Like there's something about laughing in like a city like this.

Everyone's just like in a fucking mood and pissed. And like I need a laugh. I'm like there's built up tension in Hawaii when you're that like you don't laugh your hardest on vacation. Yes. Like their life is like peaceful, I feel like. I don't know. Maybe there's this is crazy. It is such a chill vibe there.

It is. But I think about Chicago. Great crowd. There's like a fucking intensity of that city. But there's drama there. Yeah. stuff you can address. Boston.

S.F. The city's a fucking mess. They laugh. Yeah. Buffalo. Yeah, Buffalo. Seattle. There's a fucking needle on a foot.

But you go in that room. They're going to be fucking laughing. Yeah. So the fact you killed here is a testament to your stand-up. It is a good time. And they have their own issues and problems. You just have to do the research to find out. True.

True. I saw the descendants with Clooney. Nice. I did one joke there that got a huge laugh and a huge groan. the same time. I love that. And basically I was talking about how... Maui fires?

No, not even that. Not even that. Why are we laughing to this? I guess at the time that had just been an earthquake here in California and so I was talking about the earthquake and I was on the news and stuff like that. And I says, yeah.

So I'm talking to my friend about the earthquake in California. I go, did you hear about it? And he goes, no, brother. I didn't hear about it. I go, you didn't hear about our natural disaster? He goes, no, I brought it. We have an own natural disaster here on the island. I go, well, you have earthquakes?

He goes, now brought out worse, Micronesians. And I guess there was a thing where the government was blowing up Micronesia. They gave him a bunch of money and said, go ahead and move to Hawaii. And so that was their version of Hurricane Katrina, where all the people from Louisiana came into Texas. And so it's kind of like the same thing. People were displaced and they came in, you know, crime and all kinds of other stuff. So it was a huge laugh because they're like, ah! But then people are like, oh, you're saying bad things about the people.

That is our life. So it was, you know. What the hell's a Micronesian? I've never even heard of that. There you go. Google that one right there. Is that a country? Yeah.

Oh, wow. Jeez. It's pretty, but yeah, America kind of went in there and started messing it up. Oh, shit. So that's why they give them a bunch of like, hey, here's some money. Move to Hawaii. Forget about this. Got it.

Okay. Oh, it's off by Australia. All right. Damn. But yeah, so that joke got a big. And then you can hear the groans in there to it. I'm like, ooh. A couple micro-needians in the crowd.

It is possible to offend Hawaiians. Yes. Although suicide rate is quite high in Hawaii. Is this? Yeah, believe it or not. No kidding. Yeah, you know why? Because if you live in Hawaii and you're depressed, you're like, well, I got nowhere to go from here.

You know what I mean? Like, this is it. This is the happiest place on earth. And I can't be happy here. I'm fucked. I had a friend who just went to Hawaii and like fell in love instantly. It's beautiful. Yeah.

Yeah, something about, I don't know. I think you need perspective in life. And if all you've ever known is Hawaii, then you don't look at it at the same way where somebody that lived in, I don't know, Albuquerque and you're like, blah, you go from Albuquerque to, you know, to Maui. And you're like, oh, my God. Yes. If all you've ever known is the ocean and the palm trees and the beautiful sand and the beaches. Exactly. There's no way for you to do the comparison.

Where do you go from there? It's only down. Yeah. I went to Maui, did some shows. Unbelievably beautiful. The air, it's not hot, it's not cold. It's just perfect. The air tastes good.

It's wet. But the locals there are the toughest people I've ever met in my life. I saw a fist fight between a white guy and a Hawaiian guy. Best fight I've ever seen. Throwing each other through fucking windows and shit crazy. And we all jumped off a cliff, just a couple of honkeys. To get away? Yeah, just being silly, jumping in the water.

And then you walk out in the sand, go back up the mountain, and jump off the cliff again. The local guys would climb the cliff. I'm talking wet rock climbing, and then they would do like eight backflips off. And we were like, ah, good to meet you. You know, and I was like scared to jump off. I had floaties on.

Yeah, I'm not about that. Oh, really? No. Oh, yeah. That sounds like something my manager who's in the room right now would do. He would jump off with some shit like that. Oh, it was like that. Yeah.

Like, nothing crazy. That sounds like a fucking assing to be paralyzed right there. A sea urchin? That's a great. What was he stepped on? Reality show. It was a sea urchin, right? The new show.

He stepped on a Seergeon. On NBC. Yeah. Damn. The thing was like that long and it broke off in his foot. Oh. He's a gangster, dude. He left it and he didn't even go to the doctor, okay?

So I don't know if you want to call that being tough or just like, dude. Avoidance? Yeah. So he still went out and partied and we hung out and I think a week later he had it pulled out of his foot. Hell yeah. Yeah, but he stepped on one of those right there. Ooh. Yikes.

That's long. That's more than a micronesia. Yeah. That is a little bit longer than Micronesia. Look at that vagina, though. Jesus. That's quite a bush. but yeah

my God well that seems like hell I would not want to step on one of those but yeah I ain't jumping off a cliff or a rock or nothing man I'm not not much for the sand are you an outdoorsy guy no I mean if I'm in a car

or some Polaris or something fun like you know what I mean but I don't like going to the beach what on the road is like your thing if you're traveling how do you do it booze yeah my kind of guy Yeah. What's your, what's your, besides tequila, what do you drink?

Whatever it is that somebody's handing me. I'll drink anything. So are you like a, what kind of bar guy are you? As far as, uh... You like a tavern, you like a dive, you like a lounge. I love a dive bar. Me too. Yeah.

When the wood floor has that layer of film on it, you're like, oh, this... Yeah, yeah, some stuff happened here. If they have a jukebox or one of those pull tables with the quarters. Oh, yeah. Yeah, if you see that, that pool table with the quarters, We should love it All the balls come out Yeah that's great

There's money Like dollar bills on the wall Or panties Pictures or something Yeah that's great That's a small little hole in the wall I love a wall Fake IDs on it too

Oh that's a good one too Don't let this go in Yeah Yeah With stickers everywhere That's a big one I don't like clubs anymore Like a night club

The music's too loud You can't talk I'm just like They're taking away Our only ability As comedians Right How's it going

You gotta just text the group Yeah Yeah Yeah, that's the worst. You lose your voice in there. No, I prefer a nice... I like a bartender that looks like that. Oh, like a January 6th.

Yeah. That guy's name is C-Urchin. Yeah. This is good tequila. It's going down easy there, Gabe. A place that plays like 70s classic rock music. Yes, yes. Early 80s.

Yeah, that's what I like. So, wait, where did you grow up? Did I miss that? Long Beach. Oh, Long Beach. Okay. Wow. Long Beach is cool.

Yeah. I mean, for the last, God, what, 20 years? Now I've lived everywhere, so it's like, you know, done all 50 states, and then just always on the road. So now I spend time between California and Texas. That's where I have two houses. I have one there. Where in Texas? New Bronfels.

Where is that? So it's in between Austin and San Antonio. Oh, no. So if I want to go mothership, I go north. If I want to go LOL, I go south. There you go. I just did LOL. It's a great room.

Great time. San Diego is underrated comedy town. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, San Antonio. It is. They just added a new club called I want to say it's called a mic drop. They just added a club called a mic drop.

Oh, really? And they built a club in the old comedy condo building. What? Because I remember I used to perform at the River Center Comedy Club and then they would put you at a hotel They put you at the Comedy Condo

And the Comedy Condo was a... God, how bad were the condos? It wasn't that bad. This one was good? Most of them were bad. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The carpets are like eight different colors. Did they change the sheets?

Did Joe De Rosa jack off in this bed last weekend? Who knows? Yeah, that smells like Kirk Fox in here. I love how specific you were with those names. But, yeah, they built a comedy club in the basement, and it's called the mic drop. It's a sick club. The room holds maybe 150 people. They got a sick little bar, and it's just really, really cool.

Oh, nice. They just opened it maybe two months ago. Wait, is it in a hotel? It's inside the old building that the comedy condo was in. I think I popped in there after our LOL shows, and it was, It was great. Low ceiling. Yes.

Yeah, that was killer. Yeah. I thought it was called The Riot. No, no, no. You're right. You're right. The Riot. I'm sorry.

Sorry, I haven't played the mic drop, but big shout out to the mic. You know why I thought Mike drop? Because I have a mic drop in San Diego. Then I said San Diego. I fucked you up. All right. There you go. The Riot.

All these fucking great comedy towns too. Yeah, that's another one. Another great. That's the club. There it is. Yeah. Yeah. Great little room down.

The riot. The riot. I'm going to hit it up. Worth popping it on. And they have one in Houston there. Right. I think there's another place they have a riot. I like that you still pop into the little rooms, man.

That's good. You know what? I think once you feel like you're too good for those rooms, that's where you're going downhill. So always stay hungry if you can and try to work your set out. And I mean, you got to eat it with the new shit somewhere. Yeah, you got to fail. And also it feels good to, feels good to bomb. A small room like that, it's the most real honest room.

Because if your material is good, you're going to know. And if it's not. It's one of those. It's a reality check because in an arena, it's always going to sound good. It's always going to sound like that. At a comedy club in front of freaking 80 people, you're going to know if that joke is good. Ain't that the truth? Yeah.

So it feels good to pop in like that. And, you know, I'm excited to still do it. Yeah. And it's so funny because, like, the manager after it comes up to me, he goes, listen, we only got a, like, I can pay you like $200. and like, bro, don't try to fucking pay me. Keep it. He's trying to pay me money. I go, dude, I'll drink more of your alcohol than what you're about to give me right now.

Totally. I mean, I took the money. But, yeah, yeah, I'm with you. I appreciate that they still try to break me off, you know? I'm like, I'm doing okay. You know what those rooms feel like? You ever hear those stories about the sorority girls where they make you take your clothes off and they highlight all your wrong areas?

Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, I've never played that game. It feels like they're doing that with your act. Oh, they're small crazy. Yeah, you're like, that sucks, this sucks, and you're like, oh, shit, I feel like, okay. Right, right. I was in new jokes the other night at the cellar, and you're just like, it's great. You get a couple new things going, but it's funny.

You know when you're like gearing up for a special and you're killing and you feel like, you're like, who gives this shit? Right. I don't fucking like this anymore. Who cares? I'm sick of this. And then you go on the first few times with new shit and you get like two new jokes to hit, the rest of the sets of wash, and you actually feel good. You feel great. Because you know that those bits, you got.

two new ones. I got two new ones. Yes. That was, yeah. Because the win is that you can still write. You know, it's killing with old shit, you already proved it. You know, when you write a new one, you're like, all right, I still got it. And you know, you're in editing mode. So you're like, I know this works. Right. I just got to cut out the weak parts, but the new shit, you're rebuilding. Yes. The hardest thing to do is to sacrifice your ego for the sake of trying something new. Yeah. Because most of the time, you just want to go in and you want the high of the laugh and the kill and But to take that, you know, like pull back and then go, all right, we're just going to try this new thing and see how it goes.

Yeah. And not intentionally kill. Right. That's a hard one because you're risking it to try to build this new thing. Exactly. You know, a lot of times guys don't want to break away. They want to stay comfortable. Exactly.

And by the way, the seller, I finally got to perform there. I've only performed there one time, and that was very recently. I had always wanted to perform at the seller, but I could never get in. What? I swear to you, I could never get in. Physically? Oh, fuck, I was waiting. Anyway, I could never, I could never get up on that stage because for some reason, I had no issues getting up at Caroline's, no issue getting up at Gothen.

When was this? And they wouldn't put you up. Stand up New York. I could just never get into the club. What? It was this. Was this like 20 years ago? It's been, not 20 years ago.

It's been for like forever that I've tried going up and I could never get in. Wow. And so I did a set at Gotham a few months back. And my tour manager made a phone. I found out that one of the guys on my show was going to go over there. And I go, oh, really? You're going over there? And so I asked my tour manager to reach out to the club to see if maybe there was a possibility hanging out or even getting up for a spot.

And they said yes. And I guess when I got there, it's like it was so clustered with comics in the hallway. and somebody got bumped. Somebody got bumped and then I went up there and I did my 10 minutes set. And I heard somebody talking about why is he here taking away sets from other comics? And when I went up there, I was a few in. And so I said, for all the comics in the back, talking shit about what is this guy doing here taking sets away from these comics? I said, understand now, I had to bust my ass for over freaking 20 years to finally get this opportunity to perform here once.

So right now, know now that I'm marking my one-time appearance here at the cellar. I go, so like it or not, bitches, I had to work for this. I go, I don't know what is he talking about? We didn't hear the comments. So understand it's a fight I was having with myself, only with myself. And it was one dude who probably was like, I shouldn't have said that. Whatever should have said nothing. But then afterwards, the staff invited us upstairs to the restaurant, and they took care

of us like kings, and we just had such a great time. Yeah, that shouldn't be your only time there. It felt awesome. I'm there tonight if you want to hang. I was very happy to finally get set at the cellar. Hell yeah. I think you always feel that there's always like one club that's kind of your blind area, you know. Like we always felt that way about the comedy store in Atlanta.

But it's like, you know, it's a foreign thing to you. Every few years, that place goes through its phases. So it's like it's sometimes it's toxic. Sometimes it's like, all right, it's more corporate. And right now I feel like it's in a place where it's really good. I want to say, is it Rose who runs? The one's the comedy store? Yes.

Yeah, she's incredibly awesome. She's just been nothing but like any time you want to come by, just, you know, you just very welcoming. And just had a baby. And yes. She finally did. She was pregnant when I saw her a couple months ago. Mazeltoff, Rose. Congratulations, Rose.

There you go. But yeah. But yeah, she's cool. The comedy store was not a place that I ever enjoyed going until recently. There you go. Look at that. So where were you a laugh factory improv guy? No, I was on the road.

Oh, okay, there you go. So you didn't work in town. You were just burnt out on the road. I was always, I'm gone. Once I started getting work, I'm gone. I'm going anywhere. I'm going to Dayton, Ohio. I'm going freaking, you know, Mississippi.

I'm going anywhere. I love it. Are you a tour bus guy or you a flight guy? Both. Oh, wow. So I'll fly, let's say, if I'm in Long Beach, I'll fly out of Long Beach to wherever the bus is at. And then for the next three days, we're on the bus. And on the last day, we fly either to Texas or to...

Do you sleep on the bus or no? Yes. I prefer the bus. I had the bus customized for me. What are some fluffy custom things here? For the guys I get it, they're bunks. But I got the big room in the back. Hell yeah.

But what did you soup up that are like, that's like totally you? Let me see. I have a, on the tour bus, I have a full-sized toilet. so I don't have one of those RV toilets with the foot pump where the thing So you can take a shit on this tour bus? I do. Good for you!

I do. That is crazy that that's the most luxurious part of a tour. The number one rule is you don't shit on the bus. Of course. Totally. Tell him that. But when you own it, yeah. I eat shit on a bus.

No, that was a green room. Sorry, by bad. No, when I did the tour bus, my camera guy, pounding hot chicken and Nashville, be careful on a tour bus tonight. And he's like, I got this. He had three hot chickens. I was like, all right, dude.

Fucking hotbox is the, the, I'm like, dude, the guy's got to throw it away. You got to, you got to tell him to pull over. So right now that you said that, I know what you mean. Yeah. Tell everybody what hot boxing is. Well, I mean, you put it in a... Hot bag. Hot bag.

Hot bag, sorry. Hot box is when you get in a car. He hot bagged it, which is when you shit on the toilet but in a garbage bag. Yeah, so you line. You line the toilet, you put a trash bag in the toilet and then just line it and you sit. and you sit on the bag. Oh, my driver, is it anyone else ever hot bagging? And he's like, don't get me started on Segura.

Oh, shit. I was like, Tom. Yeah. So I had a few guys hot bag out on the bus, but I do not hot bag on my bus. It's nasty. So my bus, before I got it. Where does the shit go? It just goes to the, where is it going?

Like in the street? It goes on. There's a whole tank and everything. And so my bus driver, Dave, whenever we hit a truck stop or something, you know, fill up the bus with water with the tank, and then drain whatever's in. You're just to siphon out poop. No, well, you know what I mean? It's a whole system.

You just lock it in and it sucks it out and puts in the new stuff. So it's pretty easy. As far as customizing my bathroom on the tour bus is like a full-size bathroom. I have a massive bathroom on my bus. My shower is huge. You can extend your arms all the way out. I have a shower or bench and everything. It's badass.

Yeah. So I basically took out space from the closet because I don't have a huge wardrobe. I just got all my, you know, shirt. I just have, you know, and I only need three shirts for the weekend, so I don't really need that much closet space. So I use the closet space to build out my big shower. And then I have the bathroom, the toilet, and the huge sink, mirrors and stuff. So, yeah, it's pretty pimp. Damn.

Axel Rose had my bus before I did. Whoa. Damn. Yeah. So every time I got on the bus, I'm like, yeah, some evil shit happened. Yeah. Put a flashlight up to that. There used to be a pole in the front lounge room.

from the bus, the ceiling would slide to the side and then a pole would come down and then you'd lock the pole down into this little, little hole. And it was like an acrylic pole that had like water in it and glitter. Oh, fun. And, yeah. Like a stripper pole. Yeah, basically it's a stripper pole. And then there was, there's mirrors in the corners where it would reflect a laser beam.

So the line would just create this laser show on the front lounge. Now here's the question. What has more jizz in it? That bus or a comedy comedy? Oh, comedy condo. Yeah, you're probably right. Comedy condo. And it's sadder gist. Yeah, it's solo jizz. Tourbus jizz is party jizz. Yeah, yeah, tourbuzz. That's cool. It's a sad jizz. Yeah. When you're across the street at that sad condo in Cleveland. Yeah. Every single one, dude. Oh, so many memories. Even the happy ones, there was a sadness to them. I don't like when there's no one you can be like, hey, dude, the fucking thermostat's broken. They're like, yeah, I'm a fucking, I'm a waiter. I don't give

of shit. Right. That's like your contact at the club. They're like, yeah, I don't know how it works. Yeah, and you know

it's even sad it when I was broke I would eat the comedy club condo food because they would always have a guy left food in there and I would eat all of it.

Bro. Because I was so broke. I was like, oh, there's a free... That there is the cure for COVID. Get that in your system. Get that opinion.

Well, it'd be like a box of powdered mashed potatoes. I was like, I'm making that. And it was from like, you know, Bill Marr, you know, an 88 or something.

And I would eat it. I was like, oh, I don't have to go buy a food? This is great. Old waffles, there'd be like a bag of, like, chikitos or something. I'd eat all that. There'd always be something left over. Always. Big peanut butter.

That's true gambling. There's, you know. I mean, if it was like, there's Vegas. And then there's like, do we do this? Oh, yeah. There's a couple hot pockets in there, all that shit. You look at the schedule where you were like, what fucking asshole got the, you didn't even stock the fridge.

Right. Right. And they always tell you never touched the mayonnaise. Uh-oh. Never touched the mayonnaise. Oh, no. That's that's that jizz right there. Manez.

They're like, yeah, Polly Shore was just here. Yeah, you never want to follow the Polly Shore weekend. No. Ever. One time I did improv in Miami, they were like, don't sit on that couch seat. And I was like, why not? They're like, he jizzed on that one. So sit on the two, and I'm like, you can't get a new cushion.

He jizzed on the couch. Polys Shore jizzed on it? Was he aiming for someone or was it? I think he was getting blown and it was like, oh, or something. And they were like, don't sit on that cushion. So I was like, all right, so every, every show I had to sit off on the edge of the couch like this. God. You're just looking at it.

Yeah. Well, he's in the juice. You're pointing at it. Like, buddy. Hey, buddy. Exactly. That is fucking nasty. Yeah.

He had to run that, that Pauley. God damn, you got a nice jizz on a cushion. And how about get a new cushion? Yeah, that's really the truth. Yeah. You got to get a new couch. A hot bag to couch. A hot bag the couch.

Exactly. So, yeah, so the bus is pimped out. Hell yeah. That's pretty sick, man. So I sleep on the bus. I prefer to stay on that. Plus, I got my girl, I got my dog, so it makes it easier. We don't got to worry about the hotel because staying at the hotel with the dog is.

Yeah. She hears everything and everything is a... Ooh. But she's okay with the motion. On the bus, it's different because it's just consistent noise. Right. And if you have consistent noise, she's all good. But if it's a new sound or any little, you know, like what?

Let's see. I'm surprised she didn't rid you off right now. Yeah, usually they think she's the door. She is. Oh, okay, okay. There you go. Yeah, but normally that would be a thing right there. Not a good sign for the episode.

We're knocking dogs out here. No. You got a urinal on your bus. Oh, yeah. Whoa. A urinal. That's a good idea. All right.

So in the front lounge, the bus had a toilet seat with the pump, like the RV pump. I had it taken out and I figured there's no girls on the bus. So I said, let's put in a urinal. And they're like, the bus company was like, that's, no one's ever done that. And I'm like, well, it's about to be done. So let's put one in, make it a waterless one, because I have a waterless urinal at my building. And so I have one of those. You're breaking records at stadiums and with urinals.

Dude, you know how cool it is? Every time a guy sees the urinal, they're like, there's a fucking urinal right here. I go, yeah. Whoa. It's a dude bus. And so, you know, and my girl should use my bathroom in the bag. And there's a glory old dude, all dudes all the time. That'd be funny to put a glory hole in the door.

I'm like, why do you do this? It's just, you know, you never know. You got a low one for Brad Williams. Oh, God. But yeah, so I had a urinal put in, and now they got a second bus, and they put one in that urinal, they put a urinal in that bus, too. And I heard other people found out about the urinal, and now that's becoming a thing. Oh, good.

So I feel like I've pioneered the urinal tour bus thing. That's, it's more efficient than a toilet by far. It's easier to clean. Yeah, exactly. Easier to clean. So much easier to aim, too, when you're going for a 70-mile. an hour. There's some ice in there?

Yeah. Love when there's some ice in there. Oh, that's the best. You zap it out. It's fun. You melt it. Nothing like hearing the smell. Not the smell, but the sound of the ice just...

Yes. You feel like a superhero. It's like a superhero. It's like. I'm killing icees. Well, where are you going to be? You're back on tour? What's the story?

Well, let's see. Next week. Well, this weekend I'm going to... Tomorrow I'm going to Canada. I got two dates in Canada. Then off to Montana. I think I'm doing a fair. Whoa.

And then next. week. I got two days in Bakersfield, then SoFi Stadium. Hell yeah. And then after that, it'll take off a week and then we're back on tour. I love it. And does the fare pay well? Fares pay incredibly well. Wow.

We think he's doing a fair for the love of the game? Well, that's what I was confused. It's a bunch of toothless yokels. You think, you're not going to make any money, but you're a big ticket. Fares and casinos, they pay very, very well. Good to know. I don't think a lot of comedians are able to do fairs, which is why I think there's also a better pay for that, because you've got to be

very family-friendly. There's kids in the crowd. There's older people in the crowd. So they want you to have a show that's friendly to all. Right. And yeah, we'll have 10,000 to 15,000 people out of fare. Wow. Yeah, the pay is really, really good.

Okay, good to know. For a while, I wanted to just be the king of the fairs because it was just, there's so many. Yeah. There's every state's got there, you know, you could stay busy. all year just doing fares. Damn. That's cool. I had no.

Nate Burgossey did a lot of things. Yeah. But, you know, it's a thing where you're outside. You've got to deal with the elements. Sometimes there's people running around. There's kids running around. Sometimes you've got to start during the day. Right.

Not the worst than trying to be funny during that. I don't feel like you're as funny when there's sun out. Definitely not. When it's in your face. No, it's brutal. I mean, outdoors and day is a tough combo. Yes. That's two strikes against you.

Yeah, but when you're out there and you're just kind of, you're doing this one. Ooh. And you're sweating. You start off, your set starts off with sunlight and you finish and it's night time. Weird. That's crazy. They take really good care. But, you know, you just got to be flexible with it because it's not going to be a comfortable gig.

Casinos are a lot more comfortable. Yes. You're inside. You know, everyone there is over 21. Right. At the fair, you got kids. You got kids. You got to follow the goat race.

You know, there's always something weird bobbing for whatever. Yeah, yeah. The hate ride. He had to be squeaky clean at casinos, and then they changed that rule. Oh, yeah. Who goes to a casino? Like, you know, who loses their ass and says all shucks? You know what I mean?

Come on, you got to let up on that one. And you're still clean. That's impressive. I woke us. Oh, okay. In the course of an hour, I'll drop maybe three F bombs, but it's like, that's impressive. It's, you know, not even a tick because some comics do it as a tick where just every other word. But they're very specifically well-placed.

Yeah. So I don't, you know, I'm very, very selective with the, the, you know, Cussing. Yeah, remember Bill Cosby himself. He says asshole once, it gets like a three-minute applause break because it just, it's so powerful. Yeah, and it's even bigger when you don't do it. So when you save it up and all of a sudden it comes out, it's like, oh, yeah, exactly, exactly. Kind of like his roofies, really thick of hits. Nice. Yeah. All right, well, what else you got us? Sam? Where was, uh, we got you? We got you, we got you. I got, I got just, uh, yeah, I just got May 7th. First of all, I'm impressed you guys

can read that. I'm like, look, I'm like, I know what I'm looking at, but I can't see the... Englewood, Raleigh, Atlanta. Oh, state farm arena. Oh, okay, these are wild. Wow, Moody Center and Austin. Geez, Louise, Corpus Christ. Oh, those are over.

Sorry. Beaumont, Texas, wow. No, none of those have happened yet. That's May. That's May. Sorry, Oakland, Sacramento. A couple nights in Vegas. Woo, Tucson.

Do you ever think you'll like that? ever do the sphere? So I had that conversation already, and it doesn't make sense. The sphere is probably the most expensive place to perform just because of like, you know, you got to create the content to fill the screens. It's not like a regular thing where you just turn on a camera. It's a music place. It's definitely more music or film.

Like, I went to go watch Wizard of Oz there, and it was insane. Was it awesome? But they had to format it and create. you know, around the original content. And you can see it. They digitally created to expand the vision of whatever that is. So let's say you're looking at that. Wow.

They digitally duplicated what you see on the screen to fill out this whole area. Oh, my Lord. And so it looks awesome. And what they add is like, let's say during the tornado, there's giant fans that turn on. Whoa. There's a confetti that they blow into the crowd. and when the trees are shaking, apples actually fall. They have a thing where apples fall.

Wow. They're like the little, like little styrofoam. Yeah, yeah. It's cool when it says Wizard of Oz. That's amazing. It was a lot of fun. And they shortened the film by a little bit, but, you know, they cut to the chase on. It was a good time.

I've seen multiple shows there, and for music, it definitely makes sense. The Eagles and Backstreet Boys were my two favorite concerts there. Joe Koi and I talked about doing The Sphere. and I go, it doesn't make sense, dude. Visually, you know, talking and comedy just is not going to fit. It takes away from it. It takes away from it. Mineralists is better for stand-up.

True. So, no, so we will not be, I will not be anyway doing it. All right. But you can put the VW buses up there or something. You know, I remember talking to AJ from Backstreet Boys. They had to do so many shows before they even broke even. Oh. And then you're making money after that.

So to do one or two shows would not. not make sense because it's just so expensive. Yeah. Like Dana White taking UFC in there, they didn't make money. Wow. You know, you really, I mean, maybe from the pay-per-view and stuff like that, but you're not going to, you're not going to get that from being in that building. That's a bummer.

It's not a good building for that. Got it. Definitely music. Oh, and movies, too. I'm planning on going to see, I already got the suite for Metallica. Woo! So I'm going to go see Metallica. I was there for Wizard of Oz and I was just so fucking sick.

I had to rest up for the show. I was like, I wanted to go so bad. I heard it's unreal. I saw two girls one cup there. It was phenomenal. I mean, dropping shit on you. It was crazy. Don't look up.

Just don't look up. Trust me on this one. Just stay focused. That show is the shit. All right. Yeah, so we're going to be all over. You know where to find us on Punchup. Get some bodega cat.

Punchup. Dot live slash mark norman. Punchup. Not live. Poncho Fino. Thank you. Ponceofino and bodega. of these together. This looks good together. Hey, get them both to your bar. I've seen that movie.

Interracial. Look at that. That's fun. That's good stuff. That's a fun night right there. All right. Yeah. Great to meet you. I appreciate you guys. This is really nice to finally meet you both. It's an honor. I honestly thought you guys lived out in L.A. No, no, no, no. We're funny. All right. Okay, really quick. Really, really quick. Do you guys feel like there's been a thing over the years where it's like almost like rappers with comics? Like, East Coast, West Coast. There's a lot of great ways. I don't mean, like, the fighting as more of, like, a certain style.

Definitely a style. I think Lally, L'A. is bigger. You got, like, a Sebastian and guys like that where I think New York is more Dave Attell, you know, more jokey, more written. That would be my assessment. But both, you know, you got Jelzelnik over there, you got Bill Burr over there. You got a lot of great comics. Bill Burr's from out here, though. That's true.

I was trying to throw your bone there. And Jesuitary and Pete Jameson is from Chicago. All right, well, you got nothing out there. But, no, of course. course, you know, isn't a... So I've always felt, I've always felt like, who's actually from here? I know I'm from out there, but... Yeah, you're from there.

Most L.A. people are not from there. Like Adam Carolla's from L.A.? Yeah. Yeah, who else? See what I mean? Yeah. Well, we got George Carlin, Woody Allen, Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Jerry Seinfeld, yeah, they're all from New York.

David Tell, Amy Schumer. So I feel very special that you guys can't really name anybody, but... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. So you're the LA guy. I'm the L.A. guy. You've got to hold it down for the city of angels. The Dodgers, the Dodgers guy solidifies you as that. That's true.

Now let me ask you, when you pay taxes, I hope you're paying Texas taxes. Soon enough. Soon enough. Soon enough. Don't let them take your fucking shirt off. It's a lot of UWs right there. VWs. Man, I really don't know cars. I don't drive. I don't even drive.

UWs. Trying to stick the land You had a bunch of unwanteds Yeah, that says UW A bunch of unwanted So my dad used to call me Ah, there we go We might be joking

We'll see you guys later Thank you, Fluffy Thank you To the dog Sunday's beer juice Close Urban And Norman's talking shit

About the fucking Pope And I'm in rows I'm out to lunch Here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look Like I remember her Getting ready for a game

Means being ready for anything like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline. It's good to know, just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder any time. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada.