We Might Be Drunk - Ep 65: I Donated

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

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We might be drunk, we might be drunk, as long as we are hanging out, you know we might be drunk. Raise a glass, let's talk shit, pep heaps, wrecks, and a bit, maybe drunk. We might be drunk, yeah. Hey, hey, we're here, we're doing it folks folks. We're about to have a nice drink midday. We might be drunk. This is it, folks. How are you? We're doing it, man.

The day drinking, it's starting to hurt. Oh, yeah. I'm not, I was never a day drinker before this podcast. I was always like, I called it a nightcap. Oh, yeah. I like at the end of the night, it was kind of like helps you cruise right into bed. I get a lot of like nighttime hangovers now. Yeah, so do I.

And they're a bitch. They're a lot of nighttime hangovers now. Yes, so do I. And they're a bitch. They're a bitch. We've got to perform. I know. You've got to perform. Or you go, do I keep drinking? And then you're in that whole boat. Well, this helps the career.

This ain't helping right here. No, no. But we're doing it for you, folks. We're doing it for you. We're hurting ourselves for you. We hope you're enjoying it. Literally, yeah. Punishing our bodies for the fans at home.

So get on board. This is like low-key jackass right here. Yeah. Very low-key. Yes, exactly. Yeah, I used to day drink a lot as a youth. Same. Well, when you're young, it's different.

Yeah. And I was just an alcoholic. So I was just drink. I was day drinking and night drinking. Yeah. But yeah, big deal. I just love drinking in the sun. In the sun?

I love it. What's your summer drink? Well, I mean, we would just go get a case of Natty Ice. Yeah. Not bragging. Awful. You do Milwaukee's's best i don't know why that was a go-to but a lot of a lot of 40s when you're a kid like oes oh yeah it's something there was something fun about holding a 40 too yes exactly you ever do edward 40 hands i never did it but i've seen it you'd make through a bottle cap of beer, I bet, with your urinary tract. But yeah, that was hard because you had to drink them all. You couldn't piss until you.

And then one kid, one of my friends was like, I can't take it. He smashed them both and then pulled his dick out. He got shards of glass in his hands. Let's get him to the ER. He circumcised himself. Thank God. Yeah. But yeah, day drinking. There's something about it.

You ever drink on a beach? I'm not a big beach guy. I don't like the beach. I don't love it, but I'll do it once a year, and I'll make a meal out of it. You get the Mai Tai. You got the floral board shorts and the white cream on the nose and really drink it up. The beaches in New York are terrible, so you didn't grow up with the beach either. No, no.

And they were right there. That's crazy. They're not great beaches. I had to drive to Florida. It was five hours when I was a kid. Yeah, that's a lot. Oh, yeah. But we would make a weekend out of it.

I mean, what do you go? Brighton? I've never even been to Brighton Beach. I kind of want to go just to try the Russian food. I do go to Coney Island once a year. Yeah. Yeah. But it's for rides.

And you're a Brooklyn guy. Hot dogs. It was right there. Nothing. It's not close. No. No, it's not close. It's like an hour on a year. Yeah. Yeah. But it's for rides. And you're a Brooklyn guy. It was right there. Nothing. It's not close. No. No, it's not close. It's like an hour on a train.

Yeah. All right. All right. It's so weird to take a train to a beach. It is. Not even a train, a subway. Yeah. Then you're vulnerable on the way back because you got your shorts on, the flip flops, you're

tan, you're like burnt. It's not a good look. You got your umbrella and you got the duck around you you know i'm park over beach all right all right i know that's not popular we just every woman on this fucking podcast women love beaches they love the beach what do you think that is beach i think just i'm used to it no what do you think it is about a woman that loves a beach they want to get undressed they want to be sun-kissed they like the waves they like it's romantic the park is not really romantic the park is where you get a jogger gets assaulted you know

it's not really oh there's a hobo shitting it's not one of my defenses people get assaulted on the beach no but i i'm with you but there's something about i don't know like you're right it's the beach for women it's almost like a bubble bath yes if you're a man and you choose beach over park it's kind of weird. Yeah. And park is great because there's no commitment. Beach is like, ah, I'm going to get sun on my ass. I'm going to get sand in my crack.

It takes forever to get there. The park is so close. Yet the beach is sexy. Everything you just described is like sand in your crack. Your feet are sandy. But like Baywatch, there's no park Baywatch. No, that's Parkwatch. We got to shoot it.

There's the peeping Tom. There's the rat nest. Is that a raccoon? God damn it. Sandy Hook. That's when I pulled out of the sand. But yeah, we got to crack these. You said Sandy.

I don't know. That's where my brain went. I donated. There we go. That's the new I fuck up a joke. It's the new I gave money to it. That's the save line. That's a good one.

By the way, what are these ice cubes you got here? This is not equal opportunity. You got the big, nice, round one. I got Brad Williams over here. You got Ralphie May. What the hell hell this is just fresh right out of here that's how you do it this is uh someone sent us this is the negroni craft cocktail the bottled craft cocktails are making hey man once our whiskey comes out i say we do

this but with an old pal hey i like it i think we make the old pal we do a push for that as our drink that's our drink i like it we make we bring it the old pal. We do a push for that. It's our drink. That's our drink. I like it. We bring it back. Yeah. I'll tell you, paper planes are taking off. They're everywhere now. I hear the name, paper planes around. Yeah.

We really hijacked that one. Hey. Unlike Malaysia, you know where it's going. I don't know if that made sense. I donated. We'll call this one I Donated. So where were you this weekend? I was in Sacramento, California.

I saw you did seven shows. I did see that. Sold out seven shows. Unreal. I love that room. Classic. I was talking, I had a couple great guys opening, Joey Avery and this guy, Daoud. And they had some good points

they said the best clubs are either in a red state blue dot so like you're in the liberal part of the like lexington kentucky exactly perfect perfect example um maybe philly yeah and in pennsylvania so that that's like a uh you know you know it's uh what's the word fuck why did i just go blank ohio florida also swing state swing state yes or like even you know madison wisconsin right perfect perfect example so those are fun or a town outside of the big town you know like la not not great to headline but sac, great to headline. L.A., you don't think they're going to show up. Exactly.

It's like you sell out a show in L.A., and it's like 60% of people show up, and you're like, we get it. I'm not the—there's too much in your mind to do. What is that in L.A.? Well, there's so many things to do, and they're such celebrity whores over there. They're star fuckers, and we're not really stars. So there's not a lot of of like, I respect the arts in LA. It's more like, hey, I've heard of that guy.

Right. What do tourists do at night in LA? I know like tourists here will go to Broadway or go to the improv or the comedy store. You don't really do that in LA. A little bit. Well, there's so many good restaurants. Is that what it is? Yeah, there's a big restaurant culture in LA. I mean, what else? Well, i don't know about at night but they do the stars homes

that's big that is fucking sad what are you doing and talk about creepy you know like hey you're looking into burt lancaster's house you know some some old lady lives there now like get out of here it's like that's that's how they reboot Sunset Boulevard. It's some fucking weirdo who's looking at a star's home. Yeah, right. Then they got the Walk of Fame. Then you got Man's Chinese Theater. You got the Tar Pits.

You got a great Chinatown. Chinatown is there. Great Mexican food. What are the nighttime activities? I'm always at a friend's house. All I do is, yeah, I feel like they have bigger homes there. We don't have people over in New York. Good point. I mean, in L.A., you go to each other's house. I don't know. All I do is, yeah, I feel like they have bigger homes there than we do. We don't have people over in New York. Good point.

I mean, in LA, you go to each other's houses, I think. And you can go clubbing. They go clubbing. You know, it's like, this is Ashton Kutcher's club. You know, it's like there's a hot club every 10 minutes. It stinks. What a horrible. Can you imagine?

We're going clubbing. I mean, I remember the last couple years I did shit like that. Yeah. I was like, what am I? What am I doing? Even as a youth, I hated it. Same. Same.

Give me a dive bar. As Bill Hicks would say, under a beer light, I look pretty cool. Well, I'm not going to do it with like a stare. I might do it. I might win you over with like a joke or some shit. I'm not going to go home with a woman based on being like. Totally. Or dance moves. I'm like'm like at the club it doesn't

work everybody's doing blow in the bathroom it's so loud the bottle service you feel like you can't afford anything i hate clubs you see people waiting in that line in the winter and you're like you should be in a mental hospital yes you deserve to be put away like if you're there for more there should be a timer if you're there for more than 20 minutes and it's 20 degrees or lower, just swoop them up, toss them in a van. They're never to be heard from again. Totally. That's Shutter Island 2 right there. We did it.

Agreed. And I have these people who have GEDs. I'm like, you can stand out here in a fucking mini skirt in 12 degree weather. Go to school. This is very good. This strong? Yeah. Do you want to try it? Yeah. It's got a kick.

And what is it called? Bene? What's the brand? We should give this a shout out. I think it's Homeschool. Negroni made with small batch. Bene. I don't know what the actual brand name is. Chill on ice, bounce rocks. Negroni is one of the best cocktails.

You can't do much better than a Negroni. You know what's in it? Sweet vermouth, Campari, and gin. Nice. There you go. I make them at home a lot. I mean, we did Ari's podcast recently, and he had the Monkey 47 gin. That shit is super expensive, but it's incredible.

Yeah. I've never actually bought a bottle, but I've been around a lot of people who do. Yep. It's very nice. Very nice. Is he a finer things type of guy? You know what? He's specific.

Here's Ari. I went to his house. I showed up before you. He's got a record player going with the who on the blower, which was cool. And then he was making coffee in one of those beakers. So you're like, you're that guy. You know, he's swirling it, and it goes in the funnel and all that. He's a hipster.

That's exactly what he is. He's like. He's a hipster doofus. He's Kramer. But Kramer's act is better. Just a later phase. Kramer was called the Amazing Racist too. Yeah, he took the title.

Ramari. Sacramento is great. And that's such a weird club because it's a great room, but you're right next to a mattress shop. I know. And you know they've heard it all. Like, oh, I'm performing next to a mattress shop. Totally, totally.

I had to make that joke as well. And it's just a cute, sleepy California town. Yeah. We played ping pong all day. Like, one of the features, he's like, oh, my friend lives here. We're going to go meet him, have lunch, and play ping pong at his house you go there the bike's in the front lawn the door's unlocked it's a cute neighborhood we played ping pong in his shed it's just so california living then i checked the news snowstorm in new york everybody's bunkering

down it's ruined and the hobos are frozen outside they're holding their dicks how weird was that so we i got the same reports obviously i'm in baltimore my show it's cold but it wasn't that i mean yeah took a walk on the on the water with my uncle and you're like oh this is fucking cold oh wow but what were you doing a mob hit what were you guys couldn't have any uh i'm a consigliere i was like all right just tell me what you need i uh, we did that. And, of course, it snowed a little bit there. But New York, I'm watching like Chris DiStefano, Sal Vulcano, Adrian Iapolucci. They're all like, my show is canceled. And people are messaging me, is your show still happening?

I'm like, looking around, I'm like, yeah, it's happening. Yeah, right. But there's some kind of community love with the New York snow. I feel like the city comes together. There's always that video of the one guy skiing on Broadway. you know there's something about it i love it that's great it's great the whole city comes together the after effects are sad though and it's just like the ice everywhere it is like it does have the feel of a hangover the slush the slush it's dirty it's gross you gotta throw these on oh i got the boots on this is our first boot episode yeah we're getting booted yeah my lady

that was that was the uh the term getting thrown out of a bar the boot get the boot that was a bar in uh in new orleans yes pull up the boot it's weird to be called it's weird to call the place the worst case scenario well i think it was based on it used to be a country bar so it was like the boot like big cowboy boot but they had nickel shot night they had quarter beer night i mean i would i got all you can drink i think it was like five bucks all you can drink yes and push is like college kids dude this is a fucking mess it's and it's literally across street from two lane literally across the street and that's it yeah i, I've spent so many nights there. Great pizza. Dino's Pizza next door.

Big, big pizza. Like a slice this big. Look at that. Crawfish Fridays. Come on. This is bringing me right back home. Yeah. I got thrown out of there once because I was 17 and all my friends were 18.

So they went and they were like, you got to get in. I'm like, I can't. You can get in at 18? But back, yeah, back then you could. You could get in. I don't know if you could drink. What a weird thing to be allowed into a bar but you can't drink. Maybe I'm wrong.

No, I think, I mean, some places must do that, right? Yeah, maybe, but maybe I was 20 or something and I couldn't get in. Either way, I was one year short and I found a wristband.

It was all about wristbands back then. I found a wristband on the ground. It was stepped on, peed on. I picked it up, I blew it off.

You just look, you're like, Livestrong. I put it up. I blew it off. You just look like you live strong. I put it on with some gum, literally gum, and I clamped it together. And I walk in. The guy goes, you got your wristband? I go, come on. What am I, a fucking newbie?

I got you. And it literally fell off as I lifted it up. Oh, no. And the guy grabbed me, slammed me against the wall, and then threw me out. Wow. And it was so embarrassing, and it hurt, and my nose was bleeding, and I was on the sidewalk like, all right, I'm cool, I'm okay. And then I just had to wait for my friends.

Damn. Good times. New Orleans is amazing. Oh, yeah. You just did a show there recently, right? I did the Howlin' Wolf, yeah. My parents came out. How big a venue?

It's like, i don't know 400 seats why don't you go bigger there you could probably sell it a huge venue there we did two of them they gave us a good deal and it's the first place i ever did comedy so it was like some kind of sentimental bullshit sweet yeah but it was it was so new orleans the first show was amazing it was like the best night of my life i got my mom was standing oh and then the second show was like you suck remember in high school when you got uh pants to your pussy it's gonna be humble i'm right back to life it is good every once in a while yeah i mean i was really starting at two lane when i did comedy i remember

bill burr was like i i kind of weaseled my way in to the uh you know i was like i'm a comic i had like a bringer tape from caroline's a, it might've been a VHS. That's how long ago. Maybe it was a DVD. And I remember I was like, can I just open for whoever you bring? And they said, it's that fan.

I was like, please, I'll do anything. Yeah. 500 Cedar. I went up and I had a great set. I killed, they were like mediocre college jokes.

And it's like, you know, when you're with your guys at a bar, they were all dumb jokes, but they hit. And, and I think when they said this guy's a two lanes to, and everyone it's like, you know, when you're with your guys at a bar, they're all dumb jokes, but they hit. And I think when they said, this guy's a Tulane student, everyone was like, they actually were pretty cheering me on. Hell yeah.

And then the people who booked the comics were like, you can help book the comics. So they're like, who should come down? And I remember I said, bring Bill Burr down. Wow. And they brought him down. I got to open for him. And what year are we talking? I was probably 19.

But so what 19 means? 2006. So even at 2006, Bill Burr was not a huge comedian. I thought he was great. He had already done the Philly rant. Oh, he had? Okay. I'd seen him at the comic strip.

I thought he was such a great comic. What a purist. You could have brought any big hot shot. Get David Brenner out here. Well, it was weird because it was like a big, huge theater, probably 1,200-seater, and Bill wasn't as big as he is now. Yeah. and i'd say like 100 people showed up in it and they were scattered and he kept making jokes about it and he made it hilarious oh and uh he was so nice i remember it was like the week that forgot what's the name of the yankee reliever who flew a

helicopter into that building in midtown yes you can look it up but i remember uh it was like the day it was maybe the day or the day after that happened, and Bill was like, did you hear about that? And I was like, yeah, but you're a Red Sox fan, right? And he goes, not that big a Red Sox fan. Wow. If I was Bill, I would be. There it is.

Corey. Corey Lytle. Yeah, good player. If I was Bill, I would be forever indebted to you. What? You brought me down to that college. No, are you kidding? I was indebted to him. What are you talking about down to that college. No, are you kidding? I was indebted to him.

What are you talking about? I don't know, but now you're a real estate comedian. You know what's crazy? We were on Conan together. I think it was like 10 years later we were on Conan together. That's wild. And he didn't remember, obviously. What?

That would be my first. Hey, remember Tulane? I got in. I mean, I'm sure he was doing gigs. That's true. He was working. Think about how many comics you work with. Yeah. He gave me like, I think I remember that, but I sure he was doing gigs. That's true. He was working. Think about how many comics you work with. Yeah.

He gave me like, I think I remember that, but I was like, I think he was being polite. I don't think he remembered. Sure, we do so many gigs and you get drunk. Look at this. Doesn't Burr fly helicopters? Oh! Yeah. Oh!

Good connection. Don't even put that fucking energy into the world, man. Good connection. Don't even put that energy into the world. My uncle flies helicopters, too. I was in Baltimore, and he's like one of those like just does everything guys. He's a doctor at Johns Hopkins. He flies a

helicopter. Your family is very impressive by the way. I know. It's fucking brutal. It must be rough for you. I know it's rough because I'm like, you know. He's on TV. Yeah, I'm on TV but you try sitting at that dinner table. He had a WGN show

MSG WGN would have maybe been bigger I think I think that's multi-state MSG is tri-state Yeah What are you gonna do? Try it hard

I saw I went to a Tulane show Because I was like Getting into comedy It was in the Like a It was in the quad It was like 20 seats

Yeah I remember It was Finnegan Christian Finnegan Wow Joe DeRosa And Chuck Nice getting into comedy it was in the like uh it was in the quad it was like 20 seats i remember it was finnegan christian finnegan wow joe de rosa and chuck nice i think was the lineup de rosa uh we might be drunk alum yeah exactly i should have told him that when he was here i forgot but i remember i only remember his joke about being adopted everything else everybody was great ever but yeah that stuck with me what was the joke if you said, you know, people always ask him when he's here adopted, do you ever try to find your real parents? And I said, no, you know, I took the hint, actually. It's a great joke.

Great joke. And I saw that in 07 or whatever that was. Yeah, I opened for Tay Alexander as well there. Another great one. Another great one. He was awesome. He had a great opening line. It was a year after Katrina.

It was right after Katrina. And he goes, ever since I, this is opening line, crushed. Ever since I heard what happened with the hurricane, I've been dying to get down here. Whatever it takes, I'll get down here. And then he paused. He goes, it's been a year now. Huge pop. He had that great joke, too.

He's like, what's up with these natural disasters? I can't, it's like mudslides, hurricanes. There's another one. Oh, yeah't it's like mudslides hurricanes uh there's another one oh oh yeah much uh hurricanes is this a natural disaster or this the tgi friday drink menu and you're like oh how did we all miss that that's great hurricane mudslide there's another one yeah car bomb i can't remember something like that yeah i saw that you're playing the deep south i saw it on your Instagram. Alabama. You posted something saying you're looking for someone to shoot 4K for you. Or like 3Ks.

Sorry. You knew it. 3K, did we lose that? That was pretty good. I'm going to reset it. Hey Matt, I'm going to reset the joke. Oh, we can't redo it. I stepped all over it. I thought you were setting me up. I'm going to reset it. Hey, Matt, I'm going to reset the joke. Oh, we can't redo it. I stepped all over it.

I thought you were setting me up. I am. Oh. Well, now we have to lose it, Peter. All right, all right. So I hear you're looking for someone to shoot 4K. Should we do it again? Because you're laughing.

All right, too soon. So I hear you're playing the Deep South, Alabama. And I saw on your IG, you posted you're looking for someone to shoot 4k video Yeah, I don't think they really do that down there. They do three K's Thanks guys Fucking catchphrase catchphrasing. This is his get her done.

He can't just tell a joke anymore. He's got to push merch. I see people in the front row of my shows in a comedy shirt. I have a joke about wearing your belief on your shirt and mid joke a guy points to his shirt and I was like I see ya. That's great. I see ya dude. Alright keep wearing that merch.

But yeah I'm getting my ass kicked that show is because i'm like i do the the dramatic pause to set up a punchline and someone asshole goes comedy right in the middle of it the silence and i'm like you're killing me man i know you're trying to be supportive but you're it's brutal they want a moment i know and they wait they snipe right in that silence another great tale alexandro joke yeah is not an album or anything i remember we did a show was the day that uh farrah faucet and michael jackson died and ted opened the show goes man what a day and people were like shack to the calves can you believe it

huge pop god he's good great misdirect such a pro yeah ted alexandro if you don't know him you should he's got like six specials and a couple half hours. He's out there, folks. You can find him. Give him a goog. Yeah, we love you. You had good taste back then, even. You knew the guys.

Well, you did too, didn't you? I don't think I knew as well as you. I was definitely deceived by hacks, too. I mean, there were comics I knew were great, like Ted and Bill. But I remember I brought up ted or bill burstead like who else came down here and i said alexandro and he goes oh he's a great comic oh oh wow so it was nice that they all you know were in that world back then but uh no i was seduced by hacks like anyone is i remember seeing comics like you know walk a room and being

like whoa rock and roll meanwhile you're like no the point is to entertain people yeah not to burn a hole that's a last resort right right completely but you i feel like living in new york you saw david tell at carolines we're in super young i only knew david tell as a new orleanian from insomniac so i was you know uh restricted a little bit to tv you were the guy from night court right harry anderson yeah yeah he was a New Orleans guy. Yeah, he lived there, and I think he eventually died, but he was such a bad drunk. He had a bar in the

corridor, but he would wake up on people's lawns. That'll do it. It was like, oh man, the guy from Night Court loves New Orleans. How great is that? A couple celebrities fall in love with New Orleans and never leave, like John Goodman bought a house, and Brad Pitt bought a house. But Harry Anderson went all in, bought a bar, crazy drunk, and he became like the town nuisance.

That's the show. That's the show. That's the show. He's got a guy like, Harry, here's the show. You know how you fell down the other night? We're thinking three cameras, CBS. What do you say? Yes, exactly.

I'm sure he ended up at night court. Wow, Brian Denny. have you ever seen Harry Anderson's magic no I heard he's amazing he's amazing do you want to watch yeah let's see can we are we allowed to show this Peters hold on hold on pause it I feel like every every podcast is showing this clip

you know this is hack now look at that dressed like a 40s You know, this is hack now. Look at that. Dressed like a 40s gangster. Yeah, what is this? The Big Heat? What the hell? No, he's like a swing guy.

Like my suit? Huh? See ya? Yeah, it's new. See ya? It's like if Rick Moranis were going to rip you off. I'm the chair in the bedroom last night when I got home. I mean, jacket's big, TV. So much dead air.

It's a different time. Can you imagine trying to pull this off today? They would cut it up for time. Lady, you got a purse? You got money? Give her a hand, a big hand. Give her a hand. Seems like just our show on the road now.

Yeah, right? Hi. Watch him dazzle us in the next minute, though. Watch us turn around. Judy, I'm Harry, but then aren't we all, really? Judy, you got a bill? Trying. Any kind of bill will do.

And I have your red pen. What you got there? Five? Five will do. This Judy lady, she was the biggest gal in town for ten minutes after this. Everybody will recognize the bill if they ever see it again. Got one? All right. Give me the bill. You can see it again. You got one? All right.

Give me the bill. You can keep the pen. That's how I got it. Here we go. Okay. We got a bill with a big red X on it. He tore it in half. Oh, that's right.

People are just listening to this. Yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. Trying to fill it in. Oh, I thought people would watch. I mean, a lot of people watch, right? Yeah, yeah. Wait, he put the bill back together. I skipped ahead because I felt bad for fill it in. Oh, I thought people would watch. I mean, a lot of people watch, right? Yeah, yeah. Wait, he put the bill back together.

I skipped ahead because I felt bad for all the people. You can't bring up a magic clip and then skip around. We have to follow the trick, Matt. Jesus. All right, all right. Man. Nice job, Google bitch. This is like a Dana Carvey character on SNL.

I know, I know. The slow-mo. A lot of people watch this, right? Peter, what's the percentage of people that watch this? What? I'm not good at percentages. Oh, jeez. Okay.

It's our producer, folks. He's not good with numbers. I'm just joking. I'm not going to leave your side. Once. Twice. Over. Okay, twice, over. Okay, he's folding the bill that was torn.

He just yells out, the Jews will not replace us. You're like, oh my God. I'm clean as a whistle. All right. This is a basic trick, though. Yeah, it's a street trick. I guess. I thought if you mixed it with comedy or something. All right.

Is this SNL? Yeah. Wow, man. That's on Saturday Night Live? They haven't gotten much better. Sorry, guys. It'd be hilarious if he was just slamming like the hot chick of his day. Oh, I'm sure he had a couple of roadies.

He wasn't banging the Kim Kardashian of his day. No, no, he wasn't Pete Dave. No. Harry Anderson dating cousin. That's the first thing that came up. Oh, really? Well, Louisiana. No Anderson dating cousin. That's the first thing that came up. Oh, really? Well, Louisiana. No one moved there.

His first trick was, is this your birth certificate? Let's get rid of that. Yeah. Wow. Harry Anderson. R.I.P. R.I.P. The bar's still there.

Harry's bar. It's still there. We haven't given him a hell of a pitch so far. We pull up his magic and we're like, eh. Anyway, he's got a bar. I remember Andy Dick was in the news, I don't know, two years ago. Before COVID, he went to Harry's bar, got drunk, made out with a guy. The guy wasn't looking for it.

Then he punched Andy Dick and Andy Dick went to jail. Sounds like Tuesday, like every day for Andy Dick. This is my impression of Andy Dick's publicist. Is it ever good news? I know, right? You ever lose your fucking keys? No. Is it ever an appearance in a show where you just do

well and don't lick someone's face? Yeah, what happened to news radio? Remember we had a good run? That was a good show. Good show. Pull up the Andy Dick I think TMZ covered it, but face yeah what happened to news radio but we had a good run that was a good show good show pull up the andy dick uh i think tmz covered it but i just want to be i want to be uh made whole here it's just andy dick drunk in a bar someone give me a dollar not for a marker i need a dollar really badly yeah yeah i always wonder how these guys have money how do they pay the bills you know he did a lot of he did a lot of stuff. I guess the residuals.

Yeah, that's New Orleans. I don't know what street that is. Maybe Royal or who knows, Toulouse. Is this the camera Joe Mackey films his sets with? There it is. Oh, he just got walloped. Oh, the guy dropped him. Yeah, you can't fuck around out there.

That's a big dude. Yeah, that's not cool. No, no. And Andy Dick's a bit of a tw out there that's a big dude that's not yeah that's not cool no no and andy dick's a bit of a twink that's that's that's a hate crime that's fucked up yeah and that's a big dude with a sucker punch on andy dick fuck yeah watch this here comes a haymaker bam oh he went down who knows this he didn't feel it yeah Yeah, that's true. He's a shit-stirrer like Ari is, though. Poor guy. Yeah. He's a rabble-rouser. I think he's got stuff going on, though, too.

Yeah. Very funny guy. I mean, great comedic actor. The blowjob scene in old school. Oh, my God. He killed that. Yeah. What a great movie.

Todd Phillips. Todd Phillips. Todd, I heard you're making Joker 2. Here's my pitch for Joker 2. Joaquin just walks into a comedy club and then watches me do an hour special. Joker 2, what do you think? That's not bad. I like it.

And then at the end, he's like, you know what? I'm going to give comedy another shot. Joker 3, perfectly set up. Beautiful. Oh, wow. Look at this shit. It kills this. That haircut is perfect.

You got the same hair as Gillian Anderson from fucking X-Files. Yeah. Who's the girl in the red? She was a smoke show. Are we allowed to show this, Peters? I don't think so. Okay. Oh, we got the banana.

Yeah, this is a podcast. We shouldn't be doing too many clips. Sean Murphy has a great bit about how women take blowjob classes. He's like, that just shows how much nicer women are than men i don't know any guy who's like i'm going to an eating eating clam class you know a bunch of guys with oysters oh wow that's a great bit damn that's funny man yeah he's good check out sean murphy he's around he's around. I think he's got an album out called Neil. Yeah, give him a real plug. He's around is not a plug.

I don't know what to say. He's around. Sean with an S-H-A-W-N, the real Irish Sean. But yeah, Sacramento, though, killer. Just one of those magic weekends. Every show was great. Sold out of merch. Great openers. Hot shows.

Got a little work done, too. Good times. Yeah, I was at McGooby's in Baltimore. It's Timonium, but, you know, stayed in Baltimore. Great. Man, I had a weird thing happen to me. Oh, please. In the hotel.

I'm in the hotel room, and it's late night, Baltimore. You're hearing gunshots. So I'm like, you know, Baltimore's still Baltimore. Like, I'm in a nice area, but, like, six blocks down, you're hearing gunshots so i'm like all right you know baltimore still baltimore like i'm in a nice area but like six blocks down you're like this is kind of shady still right it's on brand and uh i mean that's what you want when you go to the baltimore right you want to hear a few gunshots yeah but uh i'm in the room it's like 2 a.m my hotel phone rings never a good sign wow you know anyone who needs to reach me they've got my cell yeah yeah that's so true we're good when the phone rings i'm like what at 2 a.m i pick up i go what i'm angry

2 a.m i'm up but i'm like why are you calling me you know yeah and the guy goes oh uh wrong number oh shady casing the joint for chicks maybe maybe. Feel shady. Feel shady. Guess what happens 10 minutes later? My room door opens with a key. Someone has a key. Fuck out of here. I got my deadbolt on. I got my deadbolt on because I'm not a rookie. And that noise is no joke, that clunk, clunk with the deadbolt.

Oh, I'm fucking angry. Yeah. I'm angry. I go, what? What the fuck? I'm screaming. I'm angry. And the guy goes, oh, my mistake. And I call the front desk. What the fuck i'm screaming i'm angry and the guy goes oh my mistake and i

call the front desk what the fuck dude you gave a guy my room key and the guy goes it was a mistake sir i made a mistake i go is this some sort of fucking robbery you're trying to pull on me i said do you think there's some fucking do you think i'm some like rookie uh-oh this is like this is a robbery setup. They know you're in town, maybe have cash on you, working a show. I don't think it's that. But that's where my mind's going, very paranoid. New Yorker.

I don't get paid in cash. That's not what's happening. I'm not Kat Williams here. I think we talked about that. I'm not getting a suitcase after my show, or in my case, an envelope. You're damn right you're not, Kat. He would be sitting at the door with a knife.

Just waiting. I had my mace. I was like, what, motherfucker? What? But I was this close to going to the door with a mace

and just spraying saying, get some, motherfucker. That's why I'm a knife guy now. Put the fucking knife away, Matt. Easy. The Hawaiian shirt with the knife doesn't work.

Yeah, who are you? Crocodile Dundee? I'm a knife doesn't work yeah who do you crocodile dundee apparently yeah you should be a knife guy too i'm not a knife guy 2 a.m knock on the door no the maze is better than the knife i'm a i like throwing star yeah i keep one in my boot but wait so i have nunchuck yeah so the guy the guy's a dick at the front desk i'm like hey man i get it like i didn't say this in my head i'm like i get it like it's a shit job it's it's late at night no one wants a night shift at a hotel in baltimore graveyard no one wants that shit i get it like i work at night and i i like my life i can't imagine if i didn't like my job. You know what I mean? That's a tough, it's a tough gig. So the next day, I kind of, you know, I'm pissed. But I bring, you know, I bring it up to the guy the next day.

Next day, the guy couldn't have been nicer. They comped the night at the hotel. Oh, shit. They couldn't have been cooler. Same guy, different guy. Different guy. Of course. That guy that night was like, it happens, dude.

That's why they put him on at 2 a.m. I hate to say it because he's got an attitude. You can't put that guy on during the day. He'll get some Karen up his ass and just light him up. Yeah. Well, shit. The shows were killer. J.P. McDade opened, crushed, great jokes, and great shows, man.

Just like I had a great time. What's the most charitable excuse for this guy's behavior what is could have gone on that they claim the guy had a similar name checking into me but to me that's like okay but you know i'm in that room so you're just giving him called up minutes earlier that's why it's shady that's why the call up is weird sorry i'm taking my breath control. I don't like that call up. And this is a nice place.

It was nice. I wonder if he's in cahoots. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't like it. I don't know. My guess is he was trying to sell a room on the down low to someone else. But why call?

Nah, I think it was a mistake. It wasn't. I think it was a shady mistake is what I think. And I think it was just like, I'm not paying attention. Interesting. But I don't get how a guy's checking in with a similar name to me and you just give him, like, well, you see the room is taken. Yeah, exactly. Shady.

I don't do the deadbolt. Now I will after hearing this story. You don't do the deadbolt? I never even think about it. You've never had a guy walking on you jacking off? No, I leave it open. No, I've never had that. I mean, it's one thing when you pay for it,

but when it's unexpected. I've had the lady go, hello, housekeeping. And I'm like, no, thank you. No, thank you. You're like, wait, keep saying housekeeping. Just keep the door closed, but keep saying it. And then she'll come in and I'll throw the covers on. And I'm like, ah.

Rabe. Rabe. Exactly. But I've never had the. What is with the watch? I don't know how to turn it off. I don't know how to.abe! Rabe! Exactly. But I've never had the... What was with the watch? I don't know how to turn it off. I don't know how to... I set it once on accident. I can't fix it.

It's a timex. You say on accident instead of by accident. Oh, yeah. What do you say? Well, it's on purpose and by accident. All right. Well, you say on purpose, on accident. You don't want to go by accident because it's not by purpose.

I did that by accident. I did that by purpose i did that by accident i did that on purpose i'm on sexual yeah what uh what peeves you got going on oh oh shit hold on let me pull up the old peeve i got some fucking peeves dude hit me with one while i while i get mine ready i wrote so many down i've got too many this week oh please i'm just like because of this pod now i write them down that's what you got to do you know what peeving me and this is this might be too inside baseball the guy who hits you up going uh you get the dm or the email from a rando and it's like hey man are you available on april 3rd and i'm like for what well that you don't answer that you're too successful to answer that. Oh, I always go, yeah, sure. But then he's like, well, we got a three-ring circus.

We need an opener. There's eight people. It's in Wuhan. I'm like, what? Ah, shit. How much does it pay? It's $40, flight not included, and you need to clean up horse shit after the show. People think if you're available, you're just like, I'm in.

But I'm like, what? You've got to give me information. Don't just ask if you're available you're just like i'm in but i'm like what what you gotta give me information don't just ask if i'm available ask if i'm available for this particular gig with this amount of money it's even that for me that doesn't bother me it bothers me when it's like a friend because you you don't have to do that sure when it's a friend they're like tom mccaffrey used to have a great bit about they're like uh what are you doing wednesday and you're like uh i need some help moving you're like like, oh, I actually have a doctor's appointment Wednesday. I'm like, oh shit, I'm wrong. It was actually Thursday

and Tom's turn was, he goes, the doctor just told me to come in whenever you have to move. Man, that's great. But dude, yeah, it makes me, the asking for the availability

before the thing, lead with a good thing. I mean, that should only be done if it's a really good thing. Yes. What are younesday night what's up nick's tickets that's the only time it should never be a favor with that way that's a fucking that's trickery that's trickery yes so i'm just sitting there like am i available i am but am i being dishonest if i'm like uh no what the hell but then now i go for what and then put it on them but it's it's a bitch of a move are you available it's a fucking it's it's the bait and switch of people i know because then

if they go are you available and i go uh for what oh i got a gig for you and i go well how much money is it then they go geez oh i thought you were an artist you got an agent you have like a power agent what are you doing with this shit? I go under the table quite a bit. Mark's answering Facebook messages at 2 a.m. about gigs in fucking Singapore. Hey, I went to Philly last week. I'll go to Jersey. I'll go upstate.

I'll go behind the agent's back all day long. You're saying this on your podcast. Your reps listen to this, I'm sure. Yeah, they do. Well, I mean, it's like $250 here, $500 there. I mean, this is small potatoes. These are all lies. Mark is making much more money than this.

It's peanuts. But I'm just saying, hey, look, we got our lives to live, too. What, are we going to just suck at the teat of William Morris all our lives? Come on. We got to mix it up. Matt, we have more stuff to cut. Oh, no, no. What the hell are you doing, Mark?

Sorry, sorry. This Negroni's getting me right where it hurts. You did seven shows in Sacramento. You're doing $200 gigs. This makes no sense. Well, sometimes I go, hey, I got 38 people who are willing to watch you. I'll give you $200. You can do an hour.

A workout show. It's a workout show, so I can work it out. He just taped something. I hear that. That makes sense. I'm dying for new material. I'm do a workout show. It's a workout show. So I can, I can work it out. He just taped something. I hear that. That makes sense. I'm dying for new material. I'm floundering here. Yeah.

So, and it's just fun. You go to some saloon in Albany. Nah, that's too far, but you go to some saloon and wherever, and you drive back that night. It's pretty great.

Remember phantom power? Oh, I did it twice during the pandemic. There you go. Did you tell your agent? Yeah. Ah, they brought it to me. really yeah oh geez mine never heard of phantom they booked me every week what am i gonna like they're gonna get me more money than if i did it oh good point okay maybe

i'll do it that way you've got a power agency behind you and you're doing your own negotiating well they got there they'll give me seven shows at the SAC punchline, but then this is, you know, I don't want to give them 20%. Oh, because you have a manager too. And an agent, yeah. 10%, 10%. I haven't had a manager in years. They don't do shit.

They really don't. Well, mine's pretty good, and I'm an idiot when it comes to, I had a Philly Amtrak and I booked it myself. I was so proud of myself. I patted myself on the back. I gave myself a gold star. I get to the Amtrak at 6 p.m. The train's at 6.30.

I booked AM. So I had to like pay a bunch of money to get it and I lost my whole profit margin. So go inside baseball a little bit. What is a manager for specifically? What does your manager do for you? Organization mostly. Like itinerary. They get the hotel shit going.

They get the flights. They get it all going. But my manager. That's more annoying than anything. How'd you get on a 10 a.m. train then? Shouldn't your manager fix that for you? Because I booked it. I was being shady.

Karma, man. I guess so. Well, you know, the booking the flights i used to imagine you then like i'm paying you 10 to book flights like you're still running the options by me i can just book the flight and then uh that makes sense as for booking hotels like i don't know my agents i they do all that i don't see the value in a manager i don't i don't get like i i'd much rather spend money on people editing together clips or shit like that sure but you do have a good manager i think most of them are you know

whatever i think my managers have gotten me stuff i wouldn't have gotten without well that's different that's different that's what i'm saying so it's case by case sure but an agent is really the one who gets you gigs Finds stuff Sets it up Hey you gotta do this weekend Hey we got you HBO whatever My agents do a lot for me You got a great agent

Yeah they're great You're doing the beacon Because your agent believed in you Which is huge Well I gotta pee for you Alright please I went to see a doctor About my neck

I have these neck problems These herniated discs Oste to see a doctor about you know my neck I have you know these neck problems these herniated discs osteoarthritis all this bullshit in my neck and I'm seeing a guy

and he doesn't speak great English and I have no problem if you don't speak great English I know you still probably know

what you're doing but the way he's saying shit is making me more anxious like he's like you have neck disease and I was just like I have a disease in my neck he's like you have neck disease and i was just like i have a disease in my neck he's like no not disease i'm like well you said that yeah he's

like what is the word i'm looking for i'm like you're the doctor i don't know this is a bit this is crazy he's a medical professional he can't get the words right he passed the medical hold on let me get out a thesaurus for you doctor yeah what the hell this ain't uber driver this is a doctor i had a bad haircut because a guy had a language barrier and uh that was i was i cried over that you don't want that on your kidney yeah exactly exactly damn that's bad yeah and look stress me out foreigners are great doctors you know i walk and i see an indian guy i go thank god or a chinese guy we never talk about racism working uh positively positive racism is big yeah but it's still kind of weird for an indian guy to walk in you go yes thank god well how do you think the high school

basketball coach feels like oh the black guy showed up thank god we're in we're gonna make the playoffs there's a story charles barkley told about larry bird cursing he talked a lot of shit and he's cursing and barkley's like what the hell man he goes you're disrespecting me putting a white player on me larry bird said that oh wait larry bird said that to barkley yeah because this i guess it was the sixers of the suns they were playing each other and uh whatever team barkley was on at the time and he goes i think it was the sixers and he goes why are you putting a white defender on me? Bird was pissed, being like, that's disrespect.

Celtics? Yeah. Okay. It is a little disrespectful, yeah. But he's a hell of a player. Well, that's the point. He's like, I'm great. Why don't you put a black player on me?

That was Larry Bird. Wow. Pretty funny. And Larry Bird, I mean, legend. Oh, man. Hideous man. Not a handsome man. No, bad look.

Kind of looks like an ostrich. Yeah, he does. He's a bird. He's a bird. So good, man. What is he? He's got to be Irish. Oh, I mean, if you're a Boston sports fan, that's like the dream.

You're like a blonde Irish white guy. And for Boston, it's like the white hope. For sure. Yeah. What is he? 6'8", you think? 6'10". Wow.

He was a fucking phenom, man. He's from French Lick, Indiana. And he'll talk shit to anybody. He's a Hoosier? Yeah. How about that? Oh, dude, he was ridiculous. Ambidextrous.

Look at these. Great passer. Oh, man. Great shooter. Do we have another great honky out there on the court? Right now? Yeah. Well, Steve Nash was great. Oh, Nash was great. shooter do we have another great honky out there in the on the on the court right now yeah well steve nash was great oh there's a great white player right now i'm trying to think there are there are but i can't think off the top of my head right now yeah i mean we had dirk

novitsky oh dirk was incredible yeah there's fine yeah luka donchik is great yeah but i want an american yeah i'm trying to think of an American white guy. Yeah, we got Tom Brady on the gridiron. Well, there's a lot of white quarterbacks. That's true. You have to look at this pass real quick. I have never seen anything like this. Two white quarterbacks in the Super Bowl.

That's right. You know, he was an insane passer. People compare him to LeBron or LeBron to him. But I got a bunch of peeves, dude. Oh, I mean, there's another one. Light it up. What do you got? Yeah, peeve me. Let's rather. But I got a bunch of peeves, dude. I'll fucking peeve you. Light it up. What do you got? Yeah, peeve me.

Let's see what else I got. I had another one in my head and I lost it. Oh, guy nearly walks into me on the street because he's crossing the street today reading. Not looking at his phone, reading a book. That's the time to read a fucking novella at an intersection what the hell are you doing at least be up to date rude you know you're reading a fucking get a kindle

exactly or a phone well yeah that's what that's when an audiobook is for when you're walking you don't you don't just do the book yeah while you're walking because texting you can only do with a phone so i get it it's still rude but rude, but I get it. But the book, come on, man. Maybe at the funeral they can say he died doing what he loved. He loved reading. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, he's also Amish apparently. Come on.

That's a beef. The walking and reading, I'm with you. I got another one for you. People who keep hitting the same button on the elevator. You're not doing anything. That's so true. And you're just like, the button's pressed, dude. You're right. If it That's so true. And you're just like, the button's pressed, dude.

You're right. If it's door closed, you can press it once, but like, it's not the clitoris, dude. Take a break. It's so true. And the elevator

is the last bastion, maybe flights, but the elevator is the last bastion of like, I have to be with other people. They get off the floor before me. I just have to wait. Because everything is so, what's the word?

Cultivated? No. Curated. Curated for us. We take our Uber. We got our Facebook. We got our profile. The elevator is like, people get on, they get off.

That's it. Small public space. Yes. Everything's kind of very personalized now. This is how I do it. Get away from me. I got Uber Eats coming. I got my order. I'm gluten-free. I'm this and that. The elevator's the last bastion of this is all public. Anybody can get on, and anybody can go on any floor they want and hold you up, and that's just how it goes. Yeah, there's something too but you're right ubers dude i had a cab driver talk to me the other night and i was like oh shit this is what we used to do yes you forget about that right exactly i'd rather talk to a cabbie than an uber driver any day of the week and uber

driver's like you ever take an la uber driver and they're just like will you read a scene with me and you're like what you you out of your fucking mind? I want to hear you complain about the guy. I want to hear you. New York cabbies are the best. Every sentence they say is like a fucking New York Post headline. Yeah. They're like, den of thieves.

And you're like, what was that? Hell yeah. Bozo in Queens. Yeah. I think that's a Mulaney joke. Dude, I love. I had a great New York cab driver. You know, and we've

talked about in the spot before i'm a new i go yellow cab over uber if i can help it every time because you know it's just it's more new york i love the yellow cab it's quicker the rhythm of the city the city is not meant to be like waiting yes for 10 10 minutes it's like a wave you catch it you can't it's a it's the energy you you don't even stop walking i love it i love the look of it i love and they got done dirty by you know the they weren't protected by the city and like that's part of the city they should have protected new york i know and now they're all gone and when you need one you notice it you're like damn i used to be able to get a cab any day of the week any time of the day and now it's like catch as catch can with a cab yeah i mean you

could watch the show taxi and enjoy it but just know that jud-catch-can with a cab. Yeah, I mean, you could watch the show Taxi and enjoy it, but just know that Judd Hirsch and all those characters, when they grew up and they got older, that medallion wasn't worth a shit. So that's a sad ending to that show, if you think about it. Totally. These guys would move here from all over the place and just be like, I got the medallion,

and now it's worthless. I wasted my whole life getting this medallion. Bullshit, man. Yeah, they should have done more. But you're so right but you ever get in an uber pool you're like this is not not in a while but yeah i've done them a bunch that's in the day that's one of the let's like an elevator where you're like i don't know you you don't know me and you're like oh we used to be more communal we used to be talking to

strangers more and hanging out more and interacting more and now everything is so uh just personal this is mine this is yours i've talked to guys who like hook up in uber pools and i'm blown away i'm like that's almost like not cool that's almost like a hostage situation where they're just like yeah i talked to a woman and we hit it off and the thing and i'm just like jesus i mean like i would never have the balls to be in pool to make a show make a show. Hey, I like it. That's not bad. Ben Bailey, he drags a cab. No, but there's something about it.

Yeah, there is a show there. That's good. That's like tax cab confessions in a way. The woman in the car, next. You just drop him off, pick up another guy. I had a, there was an LSU, Louisiana State University, there was a drunk bus because they didn't want everybody driving. So there was a drunk bus that if you didn't get a ride home,

they would go around a bar after bar. And we would get on that drunk bus, and it was the easiest place to hook up because we're all drunk. You got the young gal who lost her friends. I lost my friends. They were like, oh, what bar were you at? Oh, yeah. And then two minutes later, you're like, ah time it was super easy and then you just get off

at her place and uh that's how i met my wife how i met your mother the theme song just played all right but there's something about your father oh yeah oh my god looks like dog shit i know who says hollywood's out of ideas how i met your mother we flip it that's the souls spider-man 19 who cares i got an idea spider woman anybody spider woman i guarantee it's coming i guarantee it but they're gonna try to mix it up and be like she's a she's a beetle. Go the other way. Friends, enemies, book it. Yes. That's the show. Enemies is coming out.

That'd be a better show, maybe. It would be better. It's all Rappaport. What about what else? What other shows would you do? Let's see. Saved by the Bell. Taxi, Uber.

Yeah. There you go. Family doesn't matter. Just some mob boss that got cursed by his own son. Hey, hey, We Might Be Drunk is brought to you by Sheath underwear. I won't even look. I bet

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Diet smokes, Delta 8. THC gummies are not for use or sale to people under the age of 21. Please use responsibly. Diet smoke isn't light. It's just red. How I Met Your Father is the laziest reboot. Pardon me, when I saw it got bad reviews, I was like, good. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's a laziness. What are reviewers doing who are these reviewers how did they get that gig i guess you just i don't know because now i guess like they don't really have the power because i i'm care more about the audience score for the most i agree although sometimes the audience gets it wrong true me i i like some weird shit sometimes but for sure like i don't know like although i was looking at rounders the other day on rotten tomatoes it's got like 65 percent critics for it in like 89 audience i'm like

i'm with the audience man i love rounders love that movie great movie but yeah yeah like who are these critics are how do they how do they get paid who decides like you know your shit it's not a great job anymore i hope It's got to be a hard one. Good. I feel like they're worthless. I think the people can review. Critic going in for job opportunity. The guy's like, yeah, well, I found you to be lazy, wooden, and not very good.

Review the critic. Great show, the critic. The critic was fucking amazing.... I don't know. Great show, The Critic. The Critic was fucking amazing. So fucking stinks. Yes. Ahead of its... That was like the cutaway before Family Guy. Yes.

Yes. Every episode's on YouTube. The Critic. James L. Brooks, I believe. It was. And Al Jean and Mike Reese from The Simpsons. One of the best pilots of all time. Oh, really?

You can tell, man, a good pilot. Ooh. I gotta go back and watch that pilot watch that shit what other what other peeves uh yeah you got a peeve sally not yet the wife bothering you kids did she make you mad not enough to kill got the knife that's that's the next episode we might be drunk sheunk. She's dead, and Matt's like, you gotta trust me. It wasn't me who stabbed her. You confessed last episode before you did it, though.

I don't know what it is about my lady, but somehow she'll start, she'll be like, and another thing, and I'll be like, oh, and I'll pause the show, and I want to listen, try to be respectful, and you're like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Fuck that bitch. I'm totally with you. I think she's done. Play.

Wait, I wasn't done oh shit okay oh yeah no that's a good point you make a good point there play and i'll tell you this thing you're like come on get it all out on one burst you ever watching like a youtube thing and it's not synced up properly that's his girlfriend exactly she's going yeah she's asian it's kung fu we're synced up i was watching that jackie chan movie uh police story the other day what the stunts are incredible how'd that come up you're just watching jackie chan he's incredible dude i mean i'm a fan he is i mean he's incredible i was watching like tarantino's favorite movies of the last 30 years is Top 20 and Supercop. The third one was in it.

So I was like, I'll watch all three. The third one. Well, the third one is apparently the craziest stunts. I mean, the stunts are incredible. The problem with this movie is it's not good. Like the humor is just dog shit. It's weird as hell. It's not good.

Jackie Chan is. It's like a man on another level. Incredible. It's weird as hell. It's not good. Jackie Chan is He's the man. on another level incredible. He's like a superhero. And he's so likable. Yes. You just love him. Yes, completely. I saw an interview

with Jackie Chan once. By the way, he has to come up with all these this is choreography as well. It's not just death defying body movements.

Yeah, he's the stunt coordinator too. Yeah. That guy's a beast. It's hilarious that he's just like the way we work out jokes. He's like, car, lamp, backflip. Right. He's like a Buster Keaton, almost.

He is, yeah. But I saw him on an interview once, and they were like, how do you do this to your body? And he goes, well, who am I? Who the fuck am I? You know, I'm just a character. I'm an actor. I can sacrifice my body for some good movie and I remember being like what a cool guy

he's like willing to push it for the movie everybody else is like hey I'm a special person I need bubble wrap he's like nah nah who the fuck am I I'm nobody I'm a sucker to get older though cause you see those outtakes when he misses a stunt and you're like

that has gotta hurt the next day. But he handles it like a pro. He's always giggling. He's always smiling. There's a couple where I think he's in the hospital. There's a clip of him drunk as shit at some awards show. Really? Yeah, it's pretty funny to see him drunk as hell.

Sally, look up Jackie Chan shit-faced. Now we're talking. Here's a Jackie Chan gag reel. Oh, nice. Everybody loves Jackie Chan. Here's a Jackie Chan gag reel. Oh, nice. Everybody loves Jackie Chan. He's so lovable. Lovable. I want to see failed stunts.

That's what I'm looking for. All right. So Jackie Chan shit-faced? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jackie Chan shit-faced. Maybe just drunk is a better thing. I don't know.

Drunk. Yeah. It's funny to see an amazing acrobatic guy just like yeah yeah he's like if bruce lee maybe it got scrubbed fucked well he has like six movies called drunken master so it's gonna be hard to award show maybe there we go now there's one of harrison ford drunk at an award show oh really yeah i think we got a theme here gotta be like this should be a celebrity drunk segment we should be segment that's a great idea drunk in a world

he's getting the Nickelodeon award there or the MTV one it's not up there, you passed it already? was it Oscars, was it Emmys? I don't know, he's pretty old, it was a few years ago aha he looks pretty hammered there I don't know

maybe it got scrubbed. I mean, he's pretty big. Oh, no. I wanted to see it. Is that it? No, this is him getting fucked up. Injuries. Damn.

Ooh. I saw a leg break there. Oh, my God. Poor bastard. Oh, face to face. You ever clunk foreheads with a friend? It's the worst feeling of all time. Oh, my God, dude.

Oh! Jesus Christ. That leg snapped with the ankle. Look up Harrison Ford drunk award show. There's some drunk. Is he wearing the earring? Oh, you better believe it. That earring definitely hurts.

That's when I lost all faith in Harrison. Because we're so into Han Solo and Indiana Jones. You see that earring, you're like, oh, come on, dude. Apparently he's a real dick at Comic-Con. Because Indiana, he's like, it's fake, you fucking losers. Get a life. Get laid. Go out and do something.

Get laid. I mean, Get Off My Plane is one of the greatest. You can't tell me there's a funnier scene. Like, pure Americana. That was like when we respected the office of the president in the 90s. That's so true. You would never get a movie like that. Now, that was the 90s when no matter who was president, we're like, we accept this.

Now both sides are like, fuck you. Yes. But the president is the hero. Can you imagine that now? Like, Trump, like, fuck you. Poop, poop, poop. Biden, biden just like ah my fucking neck yeah he's like where are we whose plane is this pull up the last scene get off my plane uh it's one of the funniest action scenes of all time can we play this peters or no hold on one thing at a time where's the drunk for yeah but it's not important this is

all right all right get off my plane is big. That's fucking one of the funniest scenes of all time. I had this movie on VHS, Air Force One. Oh, you better believe it. I think Gary Oldman was the lead Russian bad guy. William H. Macy's in it. Oh, yeah. This is the last scene?

Yeah, this is back when the leader of the free world was still... When we respected our president. We believed in him. Like a president could actually do this. Fist fight a guy. Get off my plane. He's got to sit. He broke his neck.

The music, too. That's hilarious. That's perfect. Imagine Jimmy Carter doing that. Dude, the peanut had a fucking left hook. The peanut. Maybe Obama could swing at a guy. Yeah, I don't know.

Like that, though. Obama's good at basketball. He's like a finesse guy. He's not going to do a slugfest. Maybe Prime McCain, but he was never president. Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe Bush. He was a co-cad, Bush Jr.

He probably got into a few bar fights. I don't know. He was a cheerleader, wasn't he? Yeah, they're fit. Some terrorists come on, he's doing backflips. Give me an I. I mean, this was badass. Give me an S.

I'll be honest, it was cool to see a president be able to sink three. That was hot. I mean, this was badass. Give me an S. I'll be honest. It was cool to see a president be able to sink three. That was hot. I got wet on that. That would be hilarious if they made Air Force One, but just like Trump and... I don't know. Biden would be funnier. Biden would be funnier. He's like, fuck, please.

Every scene, he's like, I'm scared. Although Trump being like an out of shape badass would be pretty hilarious. Like beating the shit out of people and then being like loser. You could kind of redo that with a Trump type president. If I'm elected, I'll bring back peanuts. I do miss the peanuts. On the flights, you miss the peanuts? You get almonds now.

Yeah, I like an almond. I'll take an almond over a peanut. But you know me, I hate the Biscoff. You're a Biscoff hater. And I hate a pretzel. My two biggest enemies are on the plane with me. How do you hate pretzels? I hate a pretzel.

It's just dried cardboard carbohydrates with a couple of sprinkles of salt on it. It's a good snack. You don't like a pretzel? I like a pretzel. I don't give a damn about being bamboozled. Well, it's a good snack. You don't like a pretzel? I like a pretzel. What about... You're being bamboozled. Well, give me a wreck. All right.

Now we're talking. Okay. Hang tight. Here we... Oh, my nose went to hell. I'll give you a wreck first. All right, please. Pickles.

Oh, I just had one the other day. When are pickles... When are you not happy to see a pickle? That's a great wreck. I threw some sliced pickles on my shawarma the other day. My chicken pickles, when are you not happy to see a pickle? That's a great wreck. I threw some sliced pickles on my shawarma the other day, my chicken shawarma. Game changer.

I throw some on a burger, I'm thrilled. Yes. When are you not happy to see a pickle? Great wreck. Pickle even worked their way into the booze world

with the pickle back. Yes. Pickles are fucking good, baby. What's your favorite episode of Rick and Morty? Pickle Rick. Pickles are fucking, people love them. Love a pickle. He's got favorite episode of Rick and Morty? Pickle Rick. Pickles are fucking people love them. Love a pickle.

He's got the jar outside even. Sandler's going for it. Love it. And they got a pickle and a Bloody Mary. Pickles are great. Love a pickle and a Bloody Mary. You know what? They're good at soaking up the booze a little bit. Also, a term for being drunk. I'm pickled. Is it? Ah, pickled eggs.

Yeah. Yeah, that's not that's any food pickled any pickled vegetables damn good yeah i agree sick greg i don't know what that means i wrote a that's your cat greg right yeah i don't know whether i wrote wreck sick greg oh your cat was sick no it wasn't even sick i don't know what that's supposed to mean something. Damn. Sorry, everybody. Well, we can't crack this code, Mark. No, I have no idea. How about a scarf?

A good scarf? You ever throw on a good scarf? I'm not a scarf guy. I'm not either. I'm trying to get something going here. You came up with that that quick? I saw a scarf on the TV.

I don't like scarves. You know, if I'm going to wear something around my neck, I get one of those like, you know, things that just go all the way down.

Oh, yeah. I like those better. If it's that cold. What do you call that? It's kind of a name. What is it? A neck warmer. It goes all the way over your head and hits the neck.

I like those better. Scarf I always lose. Baklava? Baklava? That's a fucking Greek dessert. Baklava? What are you talking about? What are you?

Does that look like he just looks like a relative right now in the i know the shirt he's wearing i'm sorry but i'm right you're right no not that that's the one with that overhead thing yeah no over i just like the thing that goes like just your neck ah a baklava baklava baklava i'm fucking it up now. Baklava. Okay. Hold on. I had a wreck. Oh, I got it. Turkey meat. Hold on. A turkey burger.

He's grasping his straws now. My pickle wasn't a home run either. No, no. Pickle's good. Hear me out here. Don't get the ground beef. Get the turkey meat. I'm talking like you mix it up. I made turkey meatballs today. Incredible.

How do you prepare your turkey meatballs? You just make them. You put them in the skillet or the oven. You don't season it? I'll season. I put some steak sauce. I have the steak seasoning on there. Very good. But turkey meat is better than

beef. He's Michelle Obama all of a right. But turkey meat is better than beef. He's Michelle Obama all of a sudden. He's trying to cure childhood obesity. Kids, get off the red meat. Turkey meat. I'm with you. I try to go for the leaner meat if it's available. Thank you.

Turkey meatball. Because we're married to ground beef, but ground turkey is way better. It tastes better to me. It tastes better. It's leaner. It goes down easier. The beef sits in you. The after effect is better to me. It tastes better. It's leaner. It goes down easier. The beef sits in you. The after effect is better.

Yes. It's like drinking a vodka soda versus one of these right here. Right. There's a little bit of sugar in here. Yeah. But yeah, turkey ground. Ground turkey. Get on it, folks.

That's good. All right. We turned it around a little. I made it today, so that's why I pulled it out of my ass. I don't know what sick Greg meant. I don't know either. You got a bit? I got a bit idea.

Hold on, let me look at it. Let's see what I got. A little bit action. Ground turkey. Get on it, folks. All right, here's an idea. I saw they're doing a documentary, I think it's on CBS, about the Holocaust called Undeniable. Why are we even placating these idiots?

That's like if you made a slavery doc, like, this was not at all cool. Don't try to tell me slavery was cool. Undeniable. Undeniable. Damn. But that's not the main focus on this like i guess they're trying to hit uh non-believers right i don't know i mean why we why are you even opening this up to discussion i agreed it should be here's the holocaust it was horrible let's watch it not they're focusing on uh the the the den're focusing on the deniers.

You're giving the deniers a seat at the table. That's the problem. What were the shut down titles? Seriously, guys, this did happen. Right. Yeah, this is the real deal. Whether you like it or not, this was a thing. This was a thing.

It's just hilarious to make it, to even include Holocaust deniers in your title. To, like, be like, guys, it's not deniable. Yeah. That is wacky. Yeah. Who did the marketing there? I don't know. Julianna Margulies is, like, the host, I think.

Jewish? I don't think so. Is she? I'll look it up. I think you'd get a Jew to host it. Well, they never do. They never get Jews to play Jews. That's true. Maybe she is. I don't think so. Is she? I'll look it up. I think you'd get a Jew to host. Well, they never do. They never get Jews to play Jews. That's true.

Maybe she is. I don't know. I bet she's got something. Hold on. Anyway, she's a very attractive lady. Would you? Oh, would I? Come on.

Let's see. Here we go. Come on, Jew. I'm hoping for a Jew. Let's see I'm gonna go with mom Jewish She's got the clavicles She's got the shoulders

New York We're getting there Her mother Jewish I knew it Her parents were both Jewish Immigrants from Romania That's undeniable What about the name though Her parents were both Jewish. Thank you. Oh, okay. Immigrants from Romania. Oh.

Well, that's undeniable. What about that name, though? That name feels friendly. Margulies? Or something. Italian or something. Something's going on there. But yeah, all right.

So she's a Jew. Thank God they got a Jewish person to rep this thing. But yeah, yeah, you're right. Undeniable is a crazy name. You're right. You're putting them at the table. You're putting them at the table. You're bringing them in. them in i think there's something here yeah yeah for sure undeniable that's what you say about lebron james you know like people always say that you got to be undeniable you're gonna be a comedian gotta be undeniable but yeah weird to say that about uh

six million people getting genocided yeah i saw whoopi goldberg got in trouble for that shit on the view what'd she say she she whole thing was like it's not about like racism it's about it's not about race it was white people killing white people it's people it's about like yeah it was like i was you know the problem is what does that matter you know the problem is people are talking too much so it's like you get attention by being contrarian and that's how these hosts because i don't think she's anti-semitic whoopi i mean i don't know her but i don't i don't her last name is jewish but uh and her first name is sex i think she's probably oh yeah but whoopi you know but i think people are just talking too much yeah you're right as i say

as we get drunk on a three-hour podcast ground turkey you gotta do it i think that's the problem is like the need for content is kind of overtaken common sense i think you're completely right because at a certain point you're like you do this long enough you don't say something crazy that's the person i'm kind of worried about well said that might be the angle Whoopi's been around for fucking ever. I know, I know. And who made her in charge? She was just a comedian actress. And I don't think what she said was bigoted. I think it's just incorrect.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think it's like... Well, you've got to have an opinion on everything, and you can't go, I don't know. She's the host of a talk show, literally. It's called The View. It's not called The Truth. Right. The View. Yeah. So called The Truth. Right. The View. Yeah. So.

A show I've never watched anyway. I mean, it's like, who cares? What do you got for a bit? Well, that's the beauty of podcasts. You can go, oh, I don't know about that, and move on. But they have to have something to say. They have to have a soundbite. What?

So I'm with you. What do you got? All right, this joke's going to get weird. But I'd like to try it out, see what you guys think here. You just do it. Well, the Holocaust, deniable, right? I got some problems with it. No.

This is a big idea here, so bear with me. Please, this is a half-baked, I'd love your input. You too, Peters. I'm trying to wake you up. All right. So I'm doing this whole thing on immigration. And my grandparents are immigrants from Sicily. And all they would do is talk about how great America was.

I feel like immigrants like America more than natives, like people born here. We don't give a shit. We don't think about it. We're just born here. We're spoiled. We don't know anything else. Yeah, exactly. So they're like the freedom the

opportunity the american dream and i'm just like where's uber eats you know like what's going on it's taking too long all we do is the natives all we do is bitch because we've had it so good we're born here they got here and they're like this is amazing and it almost feels like when i was a kid my friend had this big house he was like a spoiled kid and they adopted a kid because if we have so much money we're gonna adopt a kid and the adopted kid was like an immigrant because he came into the family and he was like this house is incredible there's a fridge full of food there's video game big tv air conditioning and the other kid was like i hate you mom and that's what it felt like he was the american well you americans he's thinking about what he's losing the immigrant thinking about all he's gaining yes hey that's good way to simplify and so yada yada yada and

eventually he was like i need money dad and my and the guy's dad was like why don't you go mow the lawn and he's like i don't want to mow the lawn and the adopted kid was like i'll mow the lawn and the uh the kid was like these adopted kids are are taking our jobs. That's kind of the message there, the symbolism. Maybe it could be even funnier if he mows the lawn and the adopted kid does way better. Because it's hard to complain about a job

that you turn down, right? Yes. It's almost funnier if he does and then the object, he's like, oh, that's how you mow the lawn. Then the object is like, I'll try it.

And then he's like, he's fucking taking our jobs. Right. That's funny, yeah. All right. It's a big idea. It's a high concept. like, I'll try it. And then he's like, he's fucking taking our jobs. Right. That's funny, yeah. All right. It's a big idea. It's a high concept. No, I think it works.

I think it's something funny there for sure. All right, all right. They're taking our jobs. They're taking our jobs. There's more there too. I mean, he's like, the idea of coming here and being grateful. I mean, adopted is similar to immigrant. You're in a shitty foster home.

You come into a real home, a real family. And, you know, my friend, he was kind of a cunt. He'd be like, isn't mom annoying? He was like, your mom's awesome. What are you talking about? And he's like, you don't get it. And he's like, you don't get it. Your mom's awesome.

And it's kind of like America. Adopted is similar to, you know. To immigrant. You know, we're just like, everyone's racist. We're all fat and and spoiled but it's like yeah yeah you are maybe but the adopted kid this kid was from africa and he was like your mom's not racist i'm here something there you never hear kids sneaking out of uh foster homes like where are you going i'm looking for a better life something like that oh yeah

yeah i don't know like there's something here, though, for sure. Something here. We've been drinking. These pack a punch, by the way. Yeah. It's really strong. I had this much, and I'm, like, dizzy. Come on.

Yeah, it's really strong. You've been quiet. Google bitch. He gave himself that name. I'm just trying to call back to it. I don't want to be mean. But, yeah, all right, all right. These adopted kids are taking an orange.

What else do you say about immigrants that's, negative they're dangerous yeah not me but i mean that's what people that's what people say what people have found on my phone and uh what yeah what else they don't appreciate america or they're coming illegally this is a big one they're illegals the main angle with the adoption and uh immigrant is that they're they appreciate yes their new life more yeah my grandparents would never shut up about america they were like america's amazing it's great you have no idea and i was like all right whatever can i watch tv now because i was young you know i didn't give a shit and that really cemented in me how much they loved it here oh think about what people in other countries do to vote they're going to like dirt

roads or do whatever they can here we're like uh the election was today yeah yeah we can't get that online yeah we can't get it going on uh the internet we got to go down there and wait in line come on yeah there is there is maybe the adoptive thing is the angle. Well, it's like America, people say we're the best. And it's like, yeah, we are. But when you're the best, you raise a lot of shitty people. Yeah, good point. Because there's a lot of people that are just used to the best. Yeah, right.

Right, yeah. And then the people who love America, they hate immigrants. But most immigrants, like Phil Handley, our friend from Canada, is technically an immigrant. And he had to pass all these tests. He had to pay a bunch of money. He probably knows more about America than we do.

I don't know anything about the Senate. You know, I've barely voted. I've voted like a couple times in my life. You're right. They do more... They have to prove how much they love america to live here basically yeah get a lawyer paperwork it's a whole thing and same with adopted we can just have a kid we can just get we can have a kid on accident you know by accident adopted kids have to or people who want to adopt they got to do all this fucking background check shit. Well, how come that psycho can have a kid on accident

and we got to do all this? It ain't right. It ain't right. Maybe I'll add that in. It ain't right. Don't look at the screen. I'm going to ask you a question from the citizen. Okay, this is the citizen test?

Yeah. This is good. Don't do this. Now I want to be proven. What is the supreme law of the land? See? An immigrant has to take this test. This is something.

The supreme law of the land. Don't murder? I don't fucking know. What is it? The Constitution. Oh, okay. Now you know. That was a layup, I guess.

I didn't get it. I didn't get it, but yeah. What do we call the first 10 amendments to the Constitution? Ten commandments. No. First 10 amendments to the Constitution? Ten commandments. No. First 10 amendments to the Constitution. Ten amendments. What do we call them?

This goes to, like, you not appreciating being an American citizen. They have to take this test, and we don't. So the bit has legs, but it's a lot to unpack. It's the Bill of Rights. Oh, my God. How did we fucking miss the... How are we missing these? We both missed this. I blame the Negronis. pack it's the bill of rights oh my god how did we fucking miss the how are we missing these we both

i blame the negronis uh what is one right or freedom from the first amendment okay a free speech there's four or five of them here right to bear arms no it's the second that's the same oh i think it's the first fourth there are some things in the First Amendment you're given. Free speech? Yes. I said that. Oh, I thought you said the first five is what you said, no? Oh, it says there's five. Speech, religion, assembly.

Oh, I thought you said one of the first five. I'm sorry. My fault. We're bad in 300. Yeah, I did say free speech. But all right, keep going. Keep going. Okay.

What are two rights in the Declaration of Independence? Oh, say what you said. Bear arms? Keep going. Okay. What are two rights in the Declaration of Independence? Oh. Say what you said. Bear arms? No, this is different. This is the Declaration. These are not amendments. So you have the right to do this, this, and this.

I just helped you. I see. The right to... Fuck. To make kids, a family, a job. And to start a business. A life. business life a business yeah there's another one opportunity liberty life liberty and happiness okay okay we're getting there if we take this test together mark and i are almost a citizen yeah exactly that's what i'm saying and they

come here and they got to take this shit and then we give them shit yeah uh this is fascinating what stops one branch of government uh from becoming too powerful insurrection no uh let's see uh votes a petition we have a specific term for it it's something and something oh Oh, fuck. Checks and balances. Yes, sir. Yeah. Thank you. Who's in charge of the executive branch? AOC? No. Let's see. Who's in charge of the executive branch?

Huh. Man, we are fucking failing this. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to give you an easy one. It's the president. Oh. We should have known that. You should have known that one.

Jeez. Get off my plane. Get off my website. Get off my pod. All right. All right. So here's, should be a layup. Name your U.S. representative.

Our U.S. representative? Yeah. Who represents you? Mark Cuban. No, I'm kidding. Congress. In Congress? Our state representative?

I think it's your local, like, I think ours is Jerry Nadler. in Congress our state representative? I think it's your local I think ours is Jerry Nadler Westside I don't even know who that is I should know that? I don't know That was the layup? Are you fucking kidding me?

I thought we were doing a state representative here I was going to say like Kathy Huckle or whatever her name is We asked these immigrants to figure this shit out and we're like we don't know if we studied for this we could do this that's true that's true but you got like one right i know we're fucked like i got like two i'm like the i get the i'm like a nigerian i have no idea that's not helpful i'm a polish guy was that better i'm basically a guy from another place who's clueless and yet i live here and was born here that's all i'm saying i took i took a little tip

out of your playbook what do you do well i uh you're gone for a lot of february so i said well while you're gone i'm taking the lady and going on a vacation. How long are you going? I'm just going to go three days, something like that. Three days, four days. Virgin Islands. Wow. It's not a bad flight.

It's right there. Newark direct. Why only three days? Four days. Sorry. Short trip. Short trip, beach, B&B, the good stuff. Palm trees stuff palm trees hammock my tie the whole thing uh yeah what else uh what what gigs you got mark oh yeah i'm in uh let's see coming out this will

be at fort wayne indiana la jolla california where you're playing in fort wayne uh there's a new club called summit it's the same guys who do Tacoma, Bricktown. Oh, nice. Yeah, they open a club there. So we'll give it a whirl. I'm in Indianapolis. I'm in Addison, Texas. I love that room in Dallas.

Dallas, by the way, is about to pass Chicago as one of the biggest cities. People are loving Dallas. Dallas is nice. I like it. I like Dallas, too. Fuck Kennedy. And, yeah. I don't know if this nice. I like it. I like Dallas too. Fuck Kennedy. And yeah. I don't know if this is after I'm at...

This might be after I'm at Sacramento. So San Diego, Orlando, West Palm, Columbus. You tell me. I can't see that, Matt. So we got... Orlando on March 4th and 5th. Salt Lake City, whatever the hell that was

before that. Oh yeah. Salt Lake City, whatever the hell that was before that. Oh, yeah. Salt Lake City, Brea, California, Beacon Theater, New York City, May 7th, all this. But you can... National, May 12th. Albany, May 20th. We got it. Now, who...

Can I ask who's gonna... Do you have an opener for Beacon? I got people in mind. All right, all right. That's gonna be a big get. What, you doing New Orleans? No. Oh, I thought I saw New Orleans there.

I've been drinking. But yeah, I'm so glad I've been doing these cities before you. Why? Well, I would hate to have to go out there. They've already seen you. They're not going to come see me. Well, then come see me then. Well, they'll see you.

You just said they're not going to do it the other way around. What the hell? Well, I'm just saying I got lucky. I got the prize first. You got sloppy seconds. Oh, gosh. Whoa, Dick Down in Dallas. What the hell is on your browser there, Sally?

I was going to play this song. Play us out with Dick Down in Dallas. Oh, please. Hit it. Well, yeah. MarkNormanCon.com, SamRill.com. Check out the rooftop special. Check out the documentary i got this

check out i got this out the lunch sat in the city is oh yeah oh yeah sat in the city great numbers by the way yeah in the city and then uh what else uh email us at we might be drunk pod at gmail.com and uh what else That's the ladies. We were at Risky Business and out to lunch. Sally, you want to plug your website? No. Alright, this is why you're not getting any gigs.

And yeah, Gotham Studios. Okay, it's Dick Down in Dallas. What is this? A guy you photographed? The fuck is this? Oh, we're both going to Dallas. What is this? A guy you photographed? The fuck is this? Talking about his girlfriend getting fucked by a lot of different women.

We're both going to Dallas or you were just there. I think this is there. Fuck fucked in Boston. All right. We love you guys. And yeah, patreon.com

slash we might be drunk pod. Email us at we might be drunk pod at gmail.com. New merch. We love you. We got merch. Should I grab a shirt? Grab a shirt. We got these koozies.

These are the hottest tickets in town. You want one of these when you're day drinking? You're a female listener. There's only a few more of these left, so get on these. And we have different designs. We have the Rick and Morty design. We have all kinds of stuff. Yes, true.

That's true. Chickity-chick it out. We might be drunkpod.com to buy merch. Get on it. Send us some liquor. Send us some booze. Send us some Rex peeves and drinks. You know what it is.

Thanks a lot. We love you. Bye. We've been drinking. We've been drinking. Sunday's the day for my next bender. A bit of fever, and you know the beer juice close. I've had a little too much bourbon, and Norman's talking shit about the fucking pump.

And I get down in the same way. Up on the roof like the cops coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be true