We Might Be Drunk - Ep 70: A Couple Of Salty Dogs

Episode Date: April 11, 2022

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hey folks here we are we might be drunk we're doing it we're back i haven't seen you face to face i saw you on the street the other day and we talked for a minute but i haven't actually yeah yeah we're walking down moneta lane and boom you pop up and then now we're on the sidewalk doing a podcast i heard your voice and i was like what it's so weird to hear your friend's voice that you also like yeah it's just i don't't know. Yeah. Because you have such a recognizable voice. Sure. That's really what I get at like airports. Some guy's like, comedian?

So I got so much to talk to you about. And then you go into the next men's room. Yeah. Stall. Damn it, I messed that joke up. And I tap on the floor. You know, a little gay code. Yeah, Republican.

Salicuse. Good to see you, Tony. Oh, Google bitch. Good to have you. Are you okay with that name? I don't want to offend you oh google bitch good to have you are you okay with that name i don't want to offend you all right all right i like the theme of shirts you got going on it's all i wear i like it hawaiian is cool it came back for a minute yeah now it's bad i think it was like a proud boy movement where they kind of co-opted for five minutes really yeah they were called the boogaloo boys but they wear kh khaki pants, and I don't do that.

No. You kind of look like Kramer's weird friend. Bob Sacramento? Yeah. Proud Boys in Hawaiian shirts. I'm like, no one is less laid back than the Proud Boys. They're like, we're gonna kill you! They're shaking an AK-47.

That's wild. Now we got the beer juke cooking up a hot concoction over here. Those look like summery drinks. What do we have here? They're pretty summery. They're old New York drinks as well. So here today we have the Salty Dog. I love a Salty Dog.

I figured you would. I forgot about the Salty Dog. This is Artie's drink from Larry Sanders. Yes, it is. Ripped torn. Ripped torn. He wants his Salty Dogs. I love it. That's what Davido, Anthony Davido, when we do the road, he wants Grip Torn. He wants his salty dogs. I love it.

That's what DeVito, Anthony DeVito, when we do the road, he wants a salty dog. That's a great term, too. That guy's a salty dog. It sounds like it's something you'd say about a guy

in an old bar. Oh, boy. What is that, a grapefruit on there? Yeah. That is really good. Not bad, right? What is it,

just grapefruit and vodka? Basically, it's just grapefruit and vodka. If you're using store-bought grapefruit, it's going to be a little sweeter, so add a little bit of lime juice because the salt will make it sweet. It will accentuate the sweetness as well.

The original Salty Dog is just the Greyhound with salt on the rim. The Greyhound was just this drink that was invented in the 30s or the 20s or the 30s. Yeah.

That's who you ask. Funny that that used to be a classy term. I'll have a Greyhound. Now you're on the Greyhound. You're like, oh, fuck. My life is shit. I'm on the Greyhound. Yes.

I'm on the Bolt bus. I'll have a Chinatown bus on the rocks, please. All right. That's a great call. That's a great call. That's a great drink. This is perfect. I love that you're mixing it up. You're getting creative.

It's great. Nailed it. Also, when I smoke a weird joint, I call it Spear Airlines. There you go. I got a crazy story for you. Please. I was in Columbus over the weekend. I just got over COVID yeah well enough to uh

this is my first drink oh hey by the way yeah good to have you back good to be back but um you know i'm in columbus ohio with gary vita we had great weekend the crowds were great great club columbus funny bone great great crowds yeah and uh we're leaving gary starts to feel crummy not covid he just you know he already had it but he had a cold and we're coming back Gary starts to feel crummy. Not COVID. He already had it, but he had a cold and we're coming back Sunday morning, early flight, not a lot of options. It was like a 10 a.m., not brutal, but early when you work the night before.

We get there. We're in the clear pre-check line. We're both pros from the road. There's a woman in front of us, the worst human being I've ever... Just one of those people that you like she's a problem she's she's an angry white woman yeah it's the fits the stereotype big loud louis vuitton bag two kids yelling at the woman yelling at her and it's the clear line she goes miss you're so

bad at your job she starts going she goes you're so and it's like the morning shift so i'm like pretty angry for this woman yeah and she goes you're so bad at your job. She starts going, she goes, you're so, and it's like the morning shift. So I'm like pretty angry for this woman. Yeah. And she goes, you're so bad at your job. How are you so bad? How are you so bad? Like,

well, like goes on for like at least two minutes where it's like nonstop. She was, what's your name? What's your name? I'm going to complain about you. And the woman's like, Carmen,

my name. And she just keeps hammering her to the point where finally Vito and I are looking at each other like, is this for, she's got two kids with her. Probably 12 years old or so. They could tell they're humiliated. Yeah.

And you could also tell she does this a lot. Just one of those people. And she didn't even know. You know, it's the thing where you have to line up your eyes to get on clear. And she didn't know what she was doing, but she's yelling at this woman. Jesus. For at least two and a half minutes, which is a long time for someone to just be berated. Totally.

So finally gets to a point where I go, hey, lady, enough. Ooh. I love enough. And she looks at me shocked. She goes, what? I go, stop talking to her like that. And she goes, this doesn't concern you. I said it didn't.

Now it does. Yeah. I said, and everyone in the whole area hates her. Yes. And the ticket guy is looking at her like, she's complaining to him. This is what I interrupted. She's like,

who do I complain to? And you can tell he's rolling his eyes. Like, what do you want? And I go, I go, enough. And she goes, this doesn't concern you.

I said, now it concerns me. And she goes, security on me. On me. And I go, I don't work for you, lady. I'm like, and they all hate you.

And then Veder goes this is hilarious veder goes he goes this isn't the movie of your life you're a nobody whoa veder coming in with the assist veder calls her a nobody and then she goes she panics she goes you're short and gary goes you should see me without my shirt on i'm like yeah he kind of blew it there he kind of blew it we had it we had her on the ropes and you it was like when you tag in the guy in wrestling and he's like and he runs in and then immediately gets like knocked out oh but uh and i was just like i was like let gary and he's like all right sorry sorry and then i was like and and then i say i say you know she's still

rattled though because she's not used to people talking back yes you can tell she needs it though she might have wanted to blow you. I mean, I'm not a guy who said that to her in 10 years. Well, maybe when he did, he finally left because it seemed like a single mom situation. Right. But, you know, finally, we fly through. She's getting a full body pat down. Yeah.

And I get a look from the ticket guy, like a nod, like, thank you. Random search. Yeah. Random search. Fuck her. gary and i were energized after yeah you got that right we left and we were like that was like a second cup of coffee it's like batman and robin you two in there you're fighting crime that's awesome i mean you see those videos and i you know your instinct goes to go for your phone and shame this

person but i'm glad we just did it you karen the karen i karen the karen hell yeah i did wow karen and sharon all right but that reminds me one time i was at shoney's with my dad remember shoney's you know shoney's it might be a regional thing i've heard of it but i've never i don't know what it is it's like a ruby tuesday kind of shit box family place yeah i had a salad bar with the pink and the salt here i'm licking this like at the vagina oh yeah let me get my nose in here real quick what happened so i must have been seven or eight years old i'm out with my dad whenever my dad had no when my mom was not around he would just take us out to dinner he's like i don't want to cook so we'd go to

shoney's i love shoney's and this lady is like hitting her kid. The kid is screaming. He's like a two-year-old. And she's like, shut up. And she's like hitting him. And the whole restaurant's like, oh, my God, this is brutal. And my dad stands up. And I'm like, oh, geez, here we go. Anyway, my dad's a nut.

And he goes, lady, if you hit that kid again, I'm calling social services. And the whole restaurant, you could hear a pin drop. And she goes, bitch, sit down. And he goes, hit him again. And even the kid was like, I'm like a two-year-old, he's in a diaper. And I was like, oh my God, it's like a Mexican standoff. And she's like, don't tell me how to raise my kid.

He's like, do it again. And then we paid the bill and left and everybody went. That's the only time these people, by the way, these terrible parents, the only time they are mad is when someone else tells you they're a shitty parent because they know they are right right that's the only time they're actually upset yeah it's it's very similar to a heckler you know when they get thrown out they're like oh what was i didn't do anything i was laughing like now you have you're so clueless you have no idea that the whole room hates you he took away your dad took away her power because that kid never looked at it the same way oh right after that she was like yeah well you're lucky that guy's not here yeah fucking

lay into you right right he hit it with a nice lady yes throughout throughout that white male privilege well it sucked for us because now the kid lived with us for a year that's the sitcom that's the show yeah see my dad has a little karen in him so like i've seen him chew people out before and i'm like uh older people older people do sometimes have it yeah exactly because they're used to like customers always right i'm paying you so you have to act a certain way that i think they have a little of that old school mentality hitting the airline employee it's like dude okay we've we've all been the victim of people who treat us like shit at the airport we've all but like when it's not warranted you can't do that shit no no i've definitely i remember i missed i this was like early in my career i was just trying to save

money and i did a website called cheapo air oh i know cheapo yeah it was like the alternative to kayak it was or expedia whatever it was if you're trying to get ao yeah it was like the alternative to kayak it was or expedia whatever it was if you're trying to get a deal and it's like if you're a gambling man which we were oh yeah you would do um you get frontier maybe a spirit yeah you would get connect flight sometimes on different airlines yeah so this is the game you're playing you're like all right i got a flight for 150 but uh it's it's frontier two spirit like i gotta i gotta so here's what happens when herpes to gonorrhea you know it's two horrible things but when you but when you get like you miss the flight neither airline is accountable right that's

the problem it's like if you miss a delta connection they're like we'll get you on the next one sir you miss two they're like go fuck you you're an idiot yeah you're a cheap idiot i know and every time you get on that plane you're like it wasn you you're an idiot yeah you're a cheap idiot i know and every time you get on that plane you're like it wasn't worth it the seats are wicker you know there's like cigarette butts in the handlebar and they had an armrest and there's like a cage of chickens next to you you know you're like what am i doing i should have just paid the 40 extra and got a normal flight the flight attendant has an snm whip what the hell yeah no we missed i remember i missed the flight i was so upset i had to buy i think a 583 ticket to a festival if i would and remember i

told the guy what happened by the way cheapo air when you say that you won't admit that's the airline right it's the only website that sounds like an insult you're a cheapo you're an idiot so i told the guy i was like oh well you one of you guys has to be accountable. And he just, I remember the guy just laughed in my face. He was like, you're a fool. He was mocking me. And I remember I go, fuck you. I just lost it. Damn.

And of course I had to buy it. And then I moved over and this woman saw it. She was like, come over here. And she was like, but I still have to buy the ticket. That'd be great if you were like, fuck you. And some lady's like, that's enough. You crossed the ticket. That'd be great if you were like, fuck you, and some lady's like, that's enough. You crossed the line. No, he was mocking me for like 10 minutes when I was panicking.

I was like, you can't. But if someone's just doing their fucking job. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Stav told me he was in Vancouver recently, and he missed. They were, for whatever reason, just kicked him off the Connect flight. And he just missed it. So he got home.

Instead of like 2 p.m he got home at midnight oh and the person and stav is like yeah i had a meltdown on the person oh but they had no reason to kick him off the flight no yeah that's crazy when they do that sometimes it's warranted sometimes and they just give you that shit eating grin with their vest and their wings behind the desk so i get it your blood's boiling so if we're talking flights i gotta lay a whopper on you all right so i was going to cincinnati on friday yeah not a great flight situation with cincinnati but i found a two o'clock that lands at four o'clock two hour flight so risky i'm doing one of those in a week and i'm nervous everybody's like it's a little late i'm like and i get there

you know four o'clock the show's's at 7. I got three hours. It's risky. It's risky. I get there, and they go, right when you get through security, you get your phone back. Ah, delayed. Shit. Delayed an hour. All right, so now I'm getting there at 5.

Show's at 7. All right. Delayed again. Now I'm getting there at 6, and now we're calling the club and doing the whole, like, okay, you're going to have to land and come straight here with your bags, and you're like, all right, that sucks, but I'll make it work. Boom. Hey, now that it's delayed okay, you're going to have to land and come straight here with your bags. And you're like, all right, that sucks, but I'll make it work. Boom. Hey, now that it's delayed again, you're going to miss the first show,

but we'll get you to the second show. You know, whatever it is. They'll stretch. And eventually. The anxiety. The anxiety. But the glimmer of hope, the silver lining, the ray of sunshine. I took your advice. I got the American Express card. i'm in the lounge yes nice

i didn't even want to get the flight i had to feed up i had a hot cocoa i had a beer i had a buffet going on i had a dessert buffet i mean i was i was the asshole in there i always get that cookie that caramel cookie i'm dipping in the coffee it was great i had a face mask on and i had uh what are you kiwis on my eyes or whatever i mean i was milking that place and they kept being like delay it again delay it again i was like great fuck it who cares i was looking up at the wall like push it back so then eventually it was like 11 o'clock so i landed at one but that lounge i mean it saved me but here's the problem i missed both shows friday which is always a bitch i don't know if that's ever happened to me oh it's the worst i think i missed

one i don't think i missed two is brutal two is bad because you lose the money and then i would cite all my merch there so you lose the merch sales so the whole thing sucks but either way i got there finally at two in the morning now everybody on the plane is cranky because they weren't in the lounge so they're all just been waiting in the morning. Now, everybody on the plane is cranky because they weren't in the lounge. So they're all just been waiting in the airport, pissed off. Yeah. So I watched a big fight. Not fist fight, but so this lady sitting next to me, she's probably a 60-year-old blonde woman.

She's in the aisle. The plane finally lands. It's 1 in the morning. Everybody's annoyed. She gets her bag down. And then she goes to grab mine to be nice and she's pulling him down i got a fat bag so she's trying to get it out i'm like ma'am i got it it's heavy don't worry about it she's like no i'll get it i'll get it now there's a

lady behind her with two kids and she's like my kids have seizures you're bringing other people's bags down i gotta get off this flight she's like ma'am the door's not even open like what's the difference let me bring this guy's bag down. She's like, fuck you. Don't talk back to me. So now they're fighting. He said, fuck you? Yeah, it got ugly. Oh, my God. And there's two kids behind her.

He's got a big Louis Vuitton bag. It's the same woman. Well, this one was a little different. And she's just like, fuck you. And the other one's like, what's your problem? So now the door opens. And the blonde lady is just like getting out of there. She's like, this lady's a little volatile.

I'm getting off this plane. So then the lady with two kids is like chasing her. And she's got her two kids in tow. So it's slowing her down. But she's like, fuck you. Yelling in the airport now. I'm like keeping up with these people because I want to watch. And she's like, I got two kids with seizures.

Fuck you, bitch. This is why we don't like white people because people like you and the blonde lady's like what the fuck is going on here she started this with a kind gesture i know no good deed so i'm just like whoa and i'm getting too close to the crazy lady this is at 11 or so when you this is about one in the morning oh my god so there's people in the airport sleeping and looking up like what the fuck guys are on their video games like what's happening and you don't want to get too close because then now you're in the wake. And she'd be like, what are you looking at?

You know, that whole thing. So eventually she chased her out there and I had to go to baggage claim. But pretty wild. I mean, the tensions are high these days at the airport. Kids have seizures is a weird complaint. I think she's given these kids seizures with these outbursts. Yeah, what the hell? I don't get it. What does that mean? Is it so they can just have a seizure it's like yeah but what's

three more minutes exactly you just want to take these people and hug them like what's really going on what's the problem what do you need should i fuck you well what is it will that help what do you want a cookie do you want a massage what is the deal should have bought some cookies from that lounge dude hand out some cookies everyone's in a good mood yeah that would help so you landed at 1 a.m and you made up the shows or no i made up we added one on sunday but then it's like a mix of people exactly did it sell out it did but they were like i did a q a at the end and every question was like where the fuck were you it's one of those things where you get in trouble i'm like the flight was yeah it's not a fun day for you it happened to vito on th Thursday when we were in Columbus.

He was going to do the Thursday and headline that. And it opened for me Friday, Saturday. And he lost his whole day at the airport. So same shit. 11 a.m. flight. He's there until 7 p.m. It got canceled. But is he in the lounge?

He is. Okay. That helps. That helps. You should see him with his shirt off. One of the worst comebacks. I've never heard gary he is shredded i'll give him that he's ripped but you can't we had her on the ropes yeah you can't it's funny how you can make fun of a man's appearance but if you make fun of a woman's appearance it's like times 10 oh we could have exactly we really were holding back

yeah because your short is like a that's a dig that's you know he could be like your fat gary is a bit about how you can he's a lot of material and how you can say a guy sure but yeah yeah it's there you're hidden right into his i'm like gary you got so many bits about this you couldn't hit it with one of those weave that into your act get people in the whole airport on board right you shouldn't because the shirt off i don't even know what that means like what are you gonna fight her i shouldn't, because the shirt off, I don't even know what that means. Like, what, are you going to fight her? I have seen him with his shirt off,

and I will say he's very strong. He looks very good, but the fact that we're talking about this, it was too out of nowhere. Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, I'm girthy downtown. Like, what else are you going to say? He should have been like,

yeah, I'm short, but I'm tall enough to see that you're a cunt or something. Something like that. This is a real jerk store moment. I know, I know. But yeah, the airport, man, it's a tough sledding these days. It's anarchy out there. Anarchy, man.

But you had a good weekend otherwise? Great weekend. Cincinnati's cool. Went to Go Bananas to drink with the locals. Had a fun time. Oh, that's afar, isn't it? It was about 20 minutes, you know. Oh, that's it?

But the funny bone is in Liberty. It's in the mall. I know. So I had to get out. Yeah, the staff there is great. It's a great, really well-run club. It is. But it's in the middle of nowhere.

It is, yeah. It's in the burbs, big time. It's like a 45-minute drive from the airport just to get there brutal that was my opener every night it's good to be in almost cincinnati i know i said something like that too something along the lines of like uh where the fuck are we yeah what is this yeah you're in one of those fake towns where they have a little square you have grass and then they have a sephora an apple store uh chipotle it's all the same shit funny you get to these these mall areas like you know gary and i were at a Funny Bone Tour in Columbus.

And the second you get there, you're like, this is kind of great. We have, like, all these stores we can just walk to. And literally within 15 minutes, we're like, get me the fuck out of here. Yes. Malls suck. I know. I hate them. I have nothing.

Like, how long can you spend in the lids? Exactly. You walk in the lids. You're like, I can get a hat. You're like, I don't want a fucking hat. I don't need a hat. I don't need this. It's all shit I don't need.

I'm like walking around Pier 1 like, oh, maybe I will buy this vase. Like, what the fuck am I doing? I don't need any of this stuff. Gary's like, they have cool jackets and cotton on. I'm like, all right. You know, like, I'm like, this fucking sucks. Yeah, let's check out the REI. Why?

I have a coat. We went to a Cheesecake Factory, and I like a Cheesecake Factory. It's the best chain. They're solid. Yeah. But it's this fucking mall. So, of course, we go there on a Saturday. We're only there Friday, Saturday.

It's got to be a 40-minute wait to get a table. Oh, yeah. And it's, like, Saturday morning. So it must be, like, 9 to one kid ratio to adult. And I'm just like, this is killing me. They're just running around us. Gary and I still don't feel 100%. We're fucking losing our mind.

I've never been more pro-choice in my life. That's not true. I was on that flight from Orlando, that one too. You're the opposite of Jared Fogle. You see kids and you hate them. You're like, ah, this sucks. Fogle gets in there. He's like, this is great.

And I'll never try to sell you on Subway either. The sandwiches too. They're terrible. Yeah. like, ah, this sucks. Fogle gets in there. He's like, this is great. And I'll never try to sell you on Subway either. The sandwiches too. They're terrible. Yeah. So I'm with you, though. The kids are rough. But you get back to New York and they're like, some lady was pushed on the track. You're like, all right.

We're back, baby. I'm back. It's so boring over there. It is funny when you think the city is losing its edge. And then I was like mad. You go every block. It's like Starbucks, Walgreens, Rite Aid. And then I was out late at night and there was a guy just in clown makeup on a scooter.

And I was like, hell yeah. This city's still got an edge. Yeah. No one's fucking with that clown guy. I know. I catch myself in Liberty, Ohio. I'm watching videos of the homeless guy who put shit in the woman's face. And I'm like jerking off to that.

I'm so bored out here. I'm like, yeah, rub it in. I'm like that poop. The city is going down the toilet. Am I right? No, that is really what a story. Oh, yeah. The poop smearer.

He was released and arrested again. What? Yeah, that's actually one of the stories we're supposed to talk about today. Oh, yeah. Bring up some stories. There it is. You don't want to hear that guy releases ever. That's not a good sign.

No. He says. You know what it's like? It's like in, remember in The Dark Knight when Heath Ledger is like, this city deserves a better class of criminal. And you're like, oh, maybe this is the criminal New York deserves right now. Maybe this is what we get. Wow.

Listen to this quote. He said, don't let me out again. What? He said to the cops after he was arrested in Washington Heights self-storage facility for going berserk on a worker. Whoa. And then he said, what am I going to do next to shock the city? He's like a super villain.

He is. He's Shitty Riddler. Shitty Riddler. Shittler. Shittler. Adolf Shittler. Holy moly. What a psycho. Shittler's list. Leave him in. He wants to be in. Shittler. Shittler. Adolf Shittler. Yeah, holy moly. What a psycho.

Shittler's list, yeah. Leave him in. He wants to be in. Shittler's list. He's got a list he's working on. He's got a shit list. Damn. Yeah, this city is, they say they're cracking down, but who the hell knows. That's a pretty horrible crime.

Yeah. You walk in on someone taking a shit you feel violated think about how violated you feel someone smears their own fecal matter what's what's nuts is he realized he went viral for this so he's like looking for the next hit yeah they want attention he's an influencer damn sadly but there's it's it's weird that there's viral for good and bad i mean it's like it doesn't mean that oh wow oh poor lady it's like six in the morning just minding her business probably going to some shit job no pun intended and then boom smash in the face with a turd how do you get over

this how do you because you shit every day too what you do is you go on dancing with the stars next season you try to turn in a positive press the smears look i know he smears he's not doing that anymore he's trying to clean up his image yeah that is tough yikes oh wait i just had did you see batman i haven't seen it yet i haven't i want to see it i want to see it i want to see an imax but it's three and a half hours or something crazy so long i've heard our buddy ron on says it stinks yeah and and he's such a hater that i didn't but he's three and a half hours or something crazy so long i've heard our buddy ron on says it stinks yeah and and he's such a hater that i didn't but he's like no i love the nolan ones i love the nolan ones i do too they're hard to follow yeah what i mean do you have you

seen it yet no beer jew matt peters damn wow we are disappointing white men yeah it's breaking records at box office although it's not doing as well as spider-man did right didn't spider-man kill it i heard that was great i don't know super no way yeah people love it i haven't seen any of the new spider-mans but they're supposed to be pretty good i i only have one spider-man in my heart so toby toby yeah the cartoon growing up was pretty damn good that was good yeah it was funny it had good he had he was witty the batman cartoons were fantastic batman beyond and stuff like that oh yeah incredible yeah i never knew about that until like three years ago that that

was mark hamill the whole time yep and call me a boomer but i like the old pow bang boom i love i like a light there's some levity to it now it's like i got diarrhea it's too serious now some studio execs like this poop smear guys hot pattinson you're out boob smear that's a good name the poop smear i think my girlfriend's getting one of those. I know. The Poop Smear's guy's parents got killed. And now he rains havoc on the city.

They died of constipation. Never been the same since. This is the dumbest episode we've done. Oh, see, look at the colors, the technical. It's so 60s. Oh, I love this shit. Holy superlatives, Batman. It's really exciting. Soon, the technical, it's so 60s. Oh, I love this shit. Yeah.

Classically trained actor. Yeah, Burt Ward. Oh, how cool is that? I like that he's got his fucking eyebrows drawn on him, too. Yeah, he's like that chick at the airport. He went to a beauty parlor in Crown Heights or something. What the hell? Oh, that Batmobile's badass, though.

Look at the bat copter. Adam West fucking ruled. Look how cool the villains are. They look like comic books. That Catwoman was so hot. Yeah, dude. What was her name? Julie Newmar. Mm-hmm. Oh, so cheesy. Look at the Dutch angles.

Mm-hmm. Oh, Lee Merriweather. Sorry. There's two of them. You're right. Oh, I love it. Have you heard this one? Now, here's my theory. Now, feel free to kick me in the balls here, because I like to get grandiose with my theories.

I think life was a little harder then. Vietnam War is cooking, race riots, civil rights, yada, yada, yada. Things are cool now. Well, hold on. But I think people worked hard jobs. would did labor you watch the news yeah all right hold on maybe the theory is no no no you already you don't want to stay prove good prove me wrong here but everything back then even james bond was a lot lighter sean connery is uh you know making out with a hot lady on the beach, and then he has a gadget, and he punches the bad guy, and everybody wins. Now Bond is fucking sad and tortured.

Batman is tortured. But I think people have it easier now. I know we have the news, and we have Corona and BLM. We still have some things cooking. Ukraine. But everybody's a graphic designer. Everybody works from home. Everybody has an iPad and a laptop.

And I think we got to make problems now almost, whereas then you had problems. So the shows were lighter. Now everything's dark and sad and evil. Maybe because we have less struggle. I think there's truth to that. I think when all the great film noirs came out was post-World War II, which is like, right,

where people wanted that darkness, right? Yes. But then I also think it moves in cycles because, like, remember, I think the Batman movies, the Nolan one started with the dark Batman, right? The other one before that was a little sillier. It was like Batman and Robin and Batman Forever, which kind of of sucked but then it kind of went back with iron man which is like

he's kind of silly yes and yeah he's like it's a more fun superhero movie yes than bat batman's dark yeah that's true parents are dead but even bob kane i think we talked about this even bob kane the inventor of batman is like i don't like Batman now. It's a bummer. I had a fun guy. So he created the fucking thing. That's fair. Well, I think also, like, there's at some point in order to make the series run, like, its course, you can't have it be, like, happy-go-lucky. You got to reinvent.

Funny the whole time. Exactly. So, like, what I'm thinking is, like, now, like, we have, like, for example, Deadpool is, like, our funny guy. He's sarcastic. Which is fucking amazing, by the way. Funny, funny the whole time. Exactly. So what I'm thinking is now, for example, Deadpool is our funny guy. He's sarcastic. Which is fucking amazing, by the way. Yeah, he's great. The first one's great. So in what, 20, 30 years, are we going to have the actual downfall of Deadpool?

I don't know. Even though his story is already chaotic as fuck. Yeah. But what you're saying is absolutely right, because they only will remake the same shit. Yes. So they have to remake it differently, right? Yes. Like, End of the Spider-Verse was a great movie.

So these execs are so uncreative. They're like, well, this is a proven commodity. Yeah. Spider-Man will do well. We're not going to try a new super. Or if they do one, a new one, it's got to be a Marvel one or a DC one. It's got to have some existing IP. Yes.

Or they won't take a chance on it. But like End of the Spider-Verse was a great movie, and that was different. Yeah. You see with Madonna, material girl, you know, long gloves, stockings, sexy. And then it goes to like weird Madonna. Then it goes like techno Madonna. Then it's like kind of urban Madonna. We all like Madonna, so she's proven. So you got to change it up. Madonna, then it goes like techno Madonna, then it's like kind of urban Madonna. We all like Madonna,

so she's proven. So you gotta change it up. Madonna, new ass, then she had an old ass, then she got another new ass. There you go. Keep it fresh. You know, I followed her at the garden. Yeah, you told me. That's amazing. Crazy. Do you talk to her? I think I said, good set, and she went...

Not much. Oh, so I gotta tell you, went and saw sebastian van escalco on monday at the garden how was that it was fucking great and i'm never i'm not like a sebastian head i'm not one of these guys who's obsessed with him i got nothing against him i think he's a cool guy but i was never a sebastian guy you know and i i got free tickets with the same agent i went sal volcano mateo lane rosebud great crew and we all went and saw it and we got some free drinks and open bar and food and pat mcgann opened sold out garden i'm talking i got to walk in with everybody people are speaking italian it is like guido in there it's full of the old country and godfather too yeah yeah exactly it was wild there it is and uh oh my god what can you imagine performing to that many people that they're

your people insane that's insane by the way last time he did the Prudential in Jersey, which is like their garden. Where the Rangers play. Or the Devils, rather. The Devils. And then. Rangers play here. He's doing Barclays tomorrow. Wow.

He sold them all out. So when he's taking that picture, does he turn around to the crowd and say, everyone turn your phones on, your camera lights on, and face them towards me? Does he say anything else? Well, he did his set. It was a great set. Seventh the way wow all these people have heat and are hip and are cool he's just writing material and then performing it to his fans he's i don't want to say he's under the radar but like you never hear about him as like in the top five burr louis attell chapelle you never hear about sebastian and i think And I think it's kind of cool.

I respect the fact that he's just out there working. And he's like, I don't need to be the hot guy. It's not about the accolades. It's about the work, right? I agree. That's what I'm saying. I think that's cool about him. Yeah.

And so he did his whole set. I mean, that's insane. Look at that. It was insane. That is massive. And he did his set. It was great. Ended on a big story, big ending.

And then he did a whole like, it's so great we can come back out. This show is rescheduled 50 times. And I'm glad we could all make it work on a Monday. And he did a whole act out like, we got to go see this fucking guy on a Monday. You know, that was funny. And then he goes, why don't we do a thing where we get the phones out, do the light. We'll all get photos. It'll be great.

And it was a nice moment. That's nice. Yeah. So great night. I like stories like that. That's me get photos. It'll be great. And it was a nice moment. That's nice. Yeah. So great night. I like stories like that. That's me as my aunt. Yeah, yeah. That's a nice story.

But it was cool to see. I'm sitting next to Sal Volcano. Matteo Lane's in front of me. Everybody's, ah! You know, comics laughing. I love it. Just silly stuff, relatable stuff, observational, no politics, no divide the room just fun pro entertainer yes total pro shiny jacket big movements good good uh good angles hard to do arenas as a political

act i would think a political comedian that would be tough hard to move tickets like that i know because then it becomes dangerous for your comedy because it's like if you have that big an audience then you're you're probably pandering if you're doing unless good point i comedy because it's like if you have that big an audience, then you're probably pandering. Yeah. Unless. Good point. I can't. It's hard to think of a political comic that.

Chappelle. Whether. I guess he does issues, but he's not. You don't think of him as like a Jon Stewart type. Yeah. Jon Stewart was never doing those arena. You know, he was doing a show. But it's hard to it's hard to be a political comedian because part of being, I think, a good comedian is them not always knowing your take. I agree.

And once you kind of align with a party, it becomes dangerous, I think, for your comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Because then you got to pander. And then that's what I never got. Like, if Trump does something stupid, if Trump shits his pants, I'm going to make a joke about it. If Biden shits his pants, I'm going to make a joke about it. My mom gets upset when I do biden jokes yeah mommy's the president

this is my job exactly this is i'm gonna make biden joke i'm gonna make trump jokes it doesn't make sense to split it down the middle like well i can't make fun of that it's it's the left side or it's the right side and you're like well now you're you're ruining your whole act yeah it should be the funniest thing yeah i won't make fun of pudin but uh seems like a great guy but uh i heard some model said uh i'm against pudin in russia and she she's missing yeah but that was yeah but her boyfriend killed her it wasn't yeah it wasn't that was a misleading headline i saw that headline too and i was like wait that's a classic new york post headline where they're like what could have happened i'm like just click just tell us in the headline yeah don't make me read this whole fucking article when it's clear that's what

that's all their stuff they're like person missing in russia and they're like it was a suicide confirmed i think i might have to pull out of this podcast because you're a part russian all right i'm like that they're doing some of that shit now like i should be the one pulling out then but there's people like uh he's a russian singer we we can't let him perform here and you're like what why are you punishing him it's not yeah it's putin doing the bullshit exactly it's tribal uh obviously protesting which is pretty dangerous there sure uh you want to hear what my 23 and me is not that it's i'm all over Europe. I'm an Ashkenazi Jew. Okay. Okay.

I like how insecure I just got. Guys. Yeah. In Yugoslavia, you're a Nazi, though. Also, I like that you think an Ashkenazi Jew is helping you. So Putin is doing something insanely sinister. He's taking people and arresting them at the anti-war protests and conscripting them into the army wow that's such a fucking psycho brilliant sitcom yeah but wouldn't they have no incentive to fight how about a gun to your back saying go fight or

we're gonna put you in jail or kill you. Also, the guys who first invaded Ukraine had no incentive to fight either. They were told, you can see these interviews online where they captured the first Russian soldiers who invaded Ukraine. They were like, why the fuck are you doing this? They told us we were just doing exercises on the border.

And then they told us to walk in. We signed up for a P90X class? I don't know why you're invading a country. It's called Barry's Boot Camp. Get out there. Damn, that's wild. Yeah, the news is so. I was wondering why they're stealing.

Farmers are towing Russian tanks. Ukrainian farmers are towing Russian tanks out. And they just captured russian missile system like some ukrainian farmer with a tractor just wait you're russian i'm i was born ukraine and i'm russian oh geez you're you're born there yeah well you're you're like divided within yourself i mean yeah do you have family there still yeah that's crazy are they alive so yeah yeah all right but uh did they evacuate uh well i have some i was born in the crimea so in 2014 that was a big problem you're russian now then oh yeah i've been russian yes exactly

cry when i was born i was born ukrainian but now i'm russian again real pain here mark when i was born i was born ukrainian but now i'm russian again real pain here mark sorry sorry venti this is this is a sketch venting to mark mark is a terrible therapist the guy's pouring his heart out mark's like pun here's the pun but like uh what's it called like like you know how how shitty is it that like they have like the largest weapon systems in the world and some random ukrainian farmer just drags it away with a tractor yeah they dragged away a missile system with the train it's insane it's ridiculous and why because fucking these people don't want to be there like yeah yeah i mean that is really it says a lot when people are fucking scrappy and angry and this is everything to them they're fighting for their country these people don't want to even be there fighting anyway no they got a farm

that's crazy yeah it is crazy you see the attitudes of people there and then you you'll watch the news and people are like yes we were displaced and it's just me and my son and i you know i lost my job but you know we'll be okay and i'm like wow you should see how much i complain like i would kill for your outlook on life i know i know see they need to get i need to get better at that it's a reminder to be grateful that's my wreck there you go we all do the whole country needs a little of that yeah we all do because you know uh you ever do that here's another wreck if you and i might have done this in the pop before. You ever feel low or angry and you have to catch yourself and you're like, playlist that's cheerful, pick me up music.

That's big. What's on your playlist? You made me feel like dancing. I love that song from Slapshot. Great song. I'm so excited. Pointer Sisters. Fun shit. You get the power.

Who's this guy's name? Don, fun shit. Very fun. You've got the power. What was this guy's name? Don't play it. Don't play it. Don't play it. The rights. Easy. Great jacket, though. Yeah, it's a cool jacket.

Can I sing it? You can sing it. You know what mine is? Ace Frehley. I'm back. Back in the New York. I always play that when I land in New York

and I'm like, I am back. And then I'm like, fucking Uber. I do. That's a good song. It, I am back. And then I'm like, fucking Uber. I do. That's a good song. It's a great tune. Yeah.

Kiss is like another like a Sebastian where I feel like they're kind of underappreciated. Agreed. They kind of got like made fun of corny, maybe because Gene Simmons seems like he's nuts. Yeah. But I mean, they got some great songs. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They rocked.

I mean, they sold out arenas for years. Also, Alice Cooper's cameo in Wayne's World is fucking amazing. So good. Milwaukee. That's such a brilliant move, too, of these Alice Cooper types who are just like, I'm going to write a song called School's Out for the Summer. It'll be a hit. It'll play every summer in every school.

I'm huge. It's kind of like Queen has a bunch of those. Like, We Will Rock You and all the songs they play at baseball games. Brilliant. You just get all the royalties. We Might Be Drunk is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Relationships take work. A lot of us will drop anything to go help someone we care about.

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It's a good song. It puts you in such a good mood. I have a lot of songs like that. Mr. Blue Sky. Love it. Electric Light Orchestra. Oh, yeah. A lot of great...

You've got to have your mix of feel-good songs. I'll tell you what, though. Ukraine. I bet they're watching old Batman and old James Bond. Levity. They need levity. Mark won't let this go. Yeah, he just got it.

It's through the bootleg. They're just beating up one of the Russian military guys. Pow! Boom! Yeah. What about a peeve? Oh, I got peeves. You know that the Ukrainian president is a comic, right? I heard that, yeah. Oh, of course. Yeah, Zelensky.

He did the voice for Paddington in their version. What? He is a comic, right? I heard that, yeah. Oh, of course. Yeah, Zelensky. He did the voice for Paddington in their version. Yeah, he's a comic. I mean, this really is like, stand-ups in America are no longer to refer themselves as brave. That's over. Yeah, we're brave if we gain weight. They're brave if they go to war. He did a one-man show in a turtleneck.

He's so brave. Really? Is he talking shit to putin as he's invading i know right and not leaving his office yeah um there yeah that's pretty good man i made that i like it he also played a show where he became the president right ukraine and then and then his friends became the president his friends were like his friends were like you should run for i'm sure right now he's like, fuck these friends. Why didn't you tell me to make a second movie?

I know. We could have done a sequel. I didn't have to actually become president. Yeah. Yeah, but it was like the corrupt politicians, right? And he was like, oh, I can oust them. And he did. Whoa, I didn't know that.

But, you know. That's wild. I think they're releasing that on Netflix now. It's been a big push to get that for people to see it. Really? What it takes for a comic to get on Netflix. Exactly. You got to fight Putin.

That's the audition. But back to what you were saying about you got to be grateful. We got to soak up the good stuff. Oh, shit. I lost my point. Oh, I had something. Just come up with a pun. Damn it.

No, it was something what's your wreck my wreck oh i don't know if i have a wreck all right give me a peeve my peeve i got a peeve and we gotta do the rest of the news right oh yeah we didn't get to the got it here i had this one you ever have the guy who won't stop reading your texts on the train or in public he's looking over your shoulder looking over my shoulder and i'm you know i'm texting some funny stuff and whatever, you know, with comics. And this guy's like...

Friend or stranger? Stranger. Completely stranger. And I catch him, so I give him one of these. Like, you know. And then I kind of slide back in my seat, and he's doing it again. He couldn't stop reading it.

Damn. He couldn't put it down. Yeah, that's pretty annoying. Brutal. Brutal. Just annoys me. It feels... It feels violating. So violating. So many of our peeves are on the subway, I realize. Because that's pretty annoying. Brutal. Brutal. Just annoys me. It feels violating.

So violating. So many of our peeves are on the subway, I realize. Yeah. My peeve that I was thinking is also, I was on the train today and I'm walking up the steps and there's a guy just in the middle of the steps standing on a laptop. Wow. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your home office here.

Yeah, right. Oh, a laptop. That's bold. It's insane yeah all right i got another one how about this guy the guy who asks you a question and then answers it while you're answering it you know you go he goes uh what are you drinking i'm like oh i'm having a salty and he's like salty dog like yeah yeah i was gonna get to it just let me get to it how impatient are you i know you're like five's like, you see any good movies lately?

I'm like, I'm looking forward to seeing Batman. Batman. I'm like, yeah, what is this, Family Feud? This isn't fast money. Just let me answer it. You fucking with me lately? Your mom. Ah, shit.

You got to get him back that way. Yeah, you didn't see that coming, did you? Threw a curveball your way. Ah. Piece of shit. Yeah, so that's annoying. Whose joke was that where he's like, you know what i hate when people are like you know what i hate potatoes you gotta give me a second to guess

mitch hedberg yes yes yes brilliant colin quinn had that brilliant joke where he's like some guy's like all right i gotta go do my laundry then i gotta take the kids to school and he's like oh sorry i'm just thinking out loud and quinn's like yeah that's called talking thinking out loud it's a good name for a special thinking out loud yeah that's true i had i have another good wreck uh please it's another shout out to a boy ronan hershberg it's a classic i don't know i never read it he told me to read in cold blood the capote book yeah it's insane really one of the best written books i've ever read in my life it's like it's so well written that you're like holy shit non-fiction right it's about a murder yeah it's real it's a real story invented a new genre true crime yeah but it was called something else it's called like it mixes prose with uh non-fiction it's written like a story almost yeah yeah it's incredible interesting and it's like man it's

it gives you like so many waves of feelings where these people are despicable these murderers but also you're like man some one of them had a really horrible life but still fuck him yeah like kind of up and down and the way it's written there's that famous line in it where he goes you know he kills a guy and he goes he just casually says you know i thought he was a nice man i you know i thought he was a really soft-spoken nice man up until the moment i slit a throat says it like very calmly and you're like you're fucking crazy whoa did you see capote i did but i i must see it again i gotta watch it again now that i read the book because i wasn't it was one i think i had a few drinks and i was like this is good but i and i think i made it like halfway

through and fell asleep. I got to do a whole- It is one of those. It is one of those. It's slow. It's a hard one when you've had a few in you. Right, right. There's real drama in it, though.

The what? There's real drama in it, though. Yeah, no, I mean, and he was the best actor. I love Kelvin Keener, man. Oh, I love Keener. Great, great movie, but I could tell it was a good movie and i and i should have gone back to it yeah yeah i remember seeing it too and not i don't really remember it but i was in and out but i remember thinking the guy is nailing it yeah he was such a good capote what uh any racks

damn i've been watching you watching severance i i gotta watch it yeah i'm still a director right i heard it's really slow though It's slow but it's shot beautifully It's got a great look great aesthetic And Adam Scott is good but it's It's a churner You know you gotta really sit with it Cause it's one of those that just Puts you right in the middle of it and then you're kinda trying to piece it out

Over the show So I did the first two episodes And it's coming together slowly But it's heavy it's very Malkovich-y. He's in it, isn't he? Is he? Oh, maybe not. I didn't see him, but I'm only two in.

Oh, maybe I'm thinking of someone else. No, I do want to watch it. It's eerie. Torturo's in it. He's great. Yeah. He's a good guy. Good comic.

Good comic. Good actor. Yeah. I've been watching like I watched that. I watched like the first two episodes of that bad vegan thing on Netflix. Oh, boy. I was like, fuck this shit. Yes.

I got two episodes in. I was like, this is the same thing over and over and over again. It's the same. It was repetitive and not well made. Make it one episode. Make it one episode. They won't do it. Too much of this shit.

Making a murderer could have been three episodes. I know. It's why I just want to watch a classic movie. Yeah. Even when a movie is slow, at least they did it. They got it. Certain shows, like I love Succession. There's some shows like that, but I'm watching these docs and I'm like, get to it.

I know. I know. We got it. We don't need this much exhibition. Is that the word? Expository? Yeah, exposition. Yeah, we don't need

this much exposition. Well, I don't know if that's the right word. Well, they have to tell you the backstory. Yeah, yeah, I guess that is exposition. Yeah, it's too much.

It's, dude, and it's the same shit over and over again. And then I was like, let me just look up what happens. I'm like, that's it? That's it? That's it.

Exactly. They got to milk. They milk. They milk. Yeah. Ford Exposition. There you go. He's back. Yeah, it's too much.

What other news is there? I got a news story for you. Oh, hit me, baby. Google bitch. Westside, sorry, question mark. The Academy is facing harsh criticism after West Side Story lead Rachel Zegler revealed she wasn't invited to the Oscars. Despite her film having seven nominations. So it was nominated a lot.

Isn't she the lead? She is. She's Maria. I just met a girl named Maria. Sorry. I love that movie. Tonight, tonight, I'm staying home tonight. I don't know if we're going to get sued, Matt.

That's crazy. I heard the movie's great. I haven't actually seen it. It's beautiful. I saw a frame. Someone posted it. It was like a two and a half minute frame and it was like one of the most beautifully shot. Spielberg really is incredible. Incredible. He's so mainstream that I think he gets knocked for that but he's great it's like sebastian he's mainstream so everybody's like ah but spielberg's killer incredible what uh indiana

jones has so many classics i i want to see i should watch it it's on hbo i think yeah and this was like her big break oh i look just a. I love this is the one that's the one Who is that guy that's his cousin that's him Ah Do you see him at dinner and never I don't talk family dinners talk to Bob Cena He's a really nice guy don't talk to that. I don't talk to Bob. I've seen him. We've hung out a couple times. He's a really nice guy. I don't talk to that. I don't talk to Bob, really.

So, what are you going to do? This movie was, I've seen this movie, the original, like 800 times. I love that movie. And it looks, this looks even better. It looks gorgeous. It looks. I'm going to watch this this weekend. Yeah, me too.

Wow. The lyrics are killer, too. It's incredible. Is it a Hammerstein? Yeah. Sondheim? One of the Heims. It was Sondheim and who else?

It was Sondheim and someone else. And he was a kid. He was like 28 when he wrote it. Whoa. Dude, yeah, they just did like a CBS segment on Sunday in the park with George. And it was the other guy he wrote it with. And then it was like, what's her name? Bernadette Peters and the other guy who is

you know who I'm talking about, the famous Broadway actor. Oh, the red-headed lady. Yeah, it was Bernadette Peters, but it was a guy too. What's his name? Just look up Sunday in the Park with Mandy Patinkin. Ah, Patinkin I love. Yeah, some great songs in that too, but you know,

she was like 28 when he wrote West Side Story. Unbelievable. It fucking makes you feel like shit. Officer Krupke is incredible. So good. Great lyrics. When you're a jet, you're a jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day. You're never alone.

You're always protected. So good. It'd be great if he just sang the whole song. I would have listened. That's how good the music is. It's tonight tonight it's incredible the romantic parts are boring but yeah no but the killing hell yeah yeah no uh also uh oh you know what i watched belfast is really good i liked it i haven't seen it i'm down it's a good movie okay what. What happens in that? It's about the- Love story?

No, it's a coming of age story. Oh, okay. In Belfast. It's good. It's a good movie. That's the name of the Jared Fogle book. Coming of age. I've got to stop.

Get off Fogle. I know who pedophiles. I've got to update my pedos. Who's the new pedo? Art Kelly? Oh, Epstein. There you go. Perfect.

I need a new pedo. Huey Lewis' Lost Album. Yeah, I saw there was a headline that said Epstein's Pedophile Island on sale for $125 million. I was like, maybe change the name. Maybe you'll get even more than $125 million. Sounds like a reality show. Pedophile Island coming on after Fuckboy Island. It's like how they do that

in real estate they're like it's prospect park east now that's fucking crown heights shut up what other what other news we got one here the nose nose it says bella's mother bella hadid i guess yolanda allowed her 14 year old daughter to get a nose job is that too young for cosmetic surgery oh i mean i know you're trying to sneak this into a trans debate right now uh here's my thing no i mean i think if you're a kid do whatever you want but you know if your parents are okay with it right but at the same time uh sometimes the thing that you don't like about yourself as a kid is going to be i mean mean, what if Owen Wilson got a nose job? I mean, that's like, you know, you know, like sometimes it's the thing that you're known for.

It's like, like, like, it's true. I hate my eyebrows, but people like recognize my or the fact that Matt's a pedophile. Like, you never know what people are going to like about you. That's true. That's true. When I was a kid, I had big curly hair and I got made fun of. And now I'm fine with having curly hair. You know, it's.

You also accept things about yourself. 14 is pretty young. I think it's a little young. You should allow your body to fully grow before you make these decisions. Because like, what if her nose keeps growing after 14? You got another one? I almost got a penile implant. So glad I didn't.

Because, you know, it's too big. It's too big. Yeah. What is too young? 14 is pretty young. Too young, I think. You're still in high school. You're a freshman in high school.

It's too much. Yeah, you're barely in high school. Yeah. That's young. That's crazy. Crazy. You could get hotter. Like a lot of people grow into their looks.

That's a hilarious thing for a parent to say. Look, you might not always be an uggo. We don't know that. Yeah, you might change. We don't. Your body is changing. I don't your body is changing i don't know who she who is she bella hadid yeah oh hold on big model i know she's famous but what is she famous she's a model she was married to someone until very recently and they got well she her dad was a big mogul of some kind i think she was married to one of the guys from One Direction And they recently Harry Styles?

No Don't act like you don't know Matt We all know you know all about One Direction Oh my Jared Fogle? Yeah she's good looking But now she's saying Hey what if I had kept the nose Maybe I'd be even better or whatever

So you can't take it back Oh I'm sorry she dated The Weeknd Her sister married the other guy The Weeknd? I had kept the nose. Maybe I'd be even better or whatever. So you can't take it back. Oh, I'm sorry. She dated The Weeknd. Her sister married the other guy. The Weeknd? Yeah. Oh, he's good.

Yeah, I like him. He's big. Yeah. What else? What other news? Hold on. Stand by. Snoozy news.

Yeah. Brittany Griner? Is that her? Oh, she's in jail. Still? Yeah. She's detained, right? She at moscow airport for drug charges hash oil yeah that's a strange one you know what happens with these wmba players is they they play

overseas because they get paid so little in america and you gotta buy drugs there so uh so she makes like four times what she makes in the WNBA in Russia. But then I'm sure she, my guess, I don't know the story enough, but my guess, like, if you have hash oil, you're probably smoking. Every player smokes. Not every player, but a lot. Inflammation, maybe you're doing that to like relax your joints or something. Or maybe you're just fucking or chilling. But either way, it's like some Midnight Express shit. Totally.

And I read that her family was like they don't want this to be politicized or something but also because it is it's clearly being politicized but she's considered i don't know like top three best female players ever is she the one that dunks i think she's like six nine i think she's done yeah yeah wow that's wild it's it's crazy also it's like it's kind of fucked up that it's such a big story the leah thomas thing is such a big story people are so angry it's like you're angry about that but not about britney do you actually give a shit about women's sports because this person's and she's detained yeah somebody had an interesting take on the leah thomas thing they

were like i know a lot of people are up in arms, but I never knew anything about women swimming. And now I know a lot about it. So it's like bringing light attention to it, which is interesting. I think the truth is the other way that people don't really give a shit about it. I have a bit about it that I'm going right now. Oh, I don't want to step on it. I think I ran a bite. I might have ran a bite. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sorry, go ahead. Where I say I was talking to a guy and he was like, he said, you know, this is, there should be an asterisk on those wins. And I said, I call bullshit. He goes, exactly. I was like, no, that you care about women's sports. That you care about women swimming. You don't give a shit.

And the bit was basically like, I've never heard you talk about it. You've never shown me that you give a shit. And then he was like, well, what if I have a daughter who becomes a competitive swimmer? And I was like, you won't. You're 55 and you have a roommate. If you have a kid, I have a feeling it's not going to be a winner. Yeah. You know?

And in that case, if it is, you know. But it is one of the things that annoys me just because it's like, this is the issue. This is the one-ish time you give a shit about the issue. Right, right. You know what it feels like? And feel free to kick me in the balls here i got another theory it's batman in the 60s well it feels like i think this kind of went down in the 40s with the black players you know they're like hey can i get another one thank

you sir this could be a funny bit okay in the in the 40s the black guys started playing integrating with the whites players and they were kind of i'm sure they were saying the same thing like we'll never win again they're they keep beating us they're mutants this is a bit this okay maybe i got something here i would take out the mutants line but uh well that's what they said but there's a good premise for that yeah like hey these guys uh it's all dick we'll never win again is a funny line yeah it's unnatural they should stick with their own people it's the same argument oh yeah they're saying they should make a class just for trans athletes make a the negro leagues negro leagues there you go well i guess they already had you have to admit but it's like yeah

it is as you said bringing more attention and it's like if you're gonna watch it don't you want to watch it now of course that was his point yeah but uh spicy now but the britney grinder shit is so crazy to me because it's like all right here's here's what we need to do with this it's you make air force one but with a six foot nine black lesbian as the lead she's beating the shit out of puddin in the movie. That's the movie. Talk about a place that doesn't understand like our culture in that way, but still pays them more. Yeah.

I mean, it's pretty crazy. I'm actually surprised because, you know, Russians are always competing with us. You know, space travel, all this sports and shit. So I'm shocked that they want our players over there to show them up. Maybe they just don't have a female basketball team, but I assume they would. Russia. Yeah, they must.

I don't know the specifics of it. Are we just that good over here? The American players are really good. Yeah. I think America's just the best at basketball. Yeah. I mean, they're great foreign players now. Well, don't we get blown out in the Olympics?

We won the last one. Last one. We had Durant, dude. Yeah. They're not beating the Olympics? We won the last one. Last one. Because we had Durant, dude. Yeah. They're not beating the USA when Kevin Durant is playing. We didn't look amazing, but we still won. Yeah. KD is unstoppable.

But there are great foreign players now. Yeah. There you go. All right. What else? What other news? Yeah, you got another one there. Yeah.

Jalopy, jalopy. Let's see. 9-11 tribute museum's closing. Oh, what? The smaller of two museums built to honor the victims of September 11th attacks. With businesses down more than 80% due to the coronavirus pandemic, the institution simply couldn't survive. So it's closing. Whoa.

They couldn't survive. So now the cashiers call themselves survivors. I guess they forgot. Yeah, never forget. That's crazy. There's still one that's open, though? I guess it says one of two. Whoa.

I mean, how many do we need? That's true. I mean, how many museums? I mean, yeah, two towers. Two buildings. Wow. That's crazy. I mean, I went, but you don't go more than once.

I never went. Right, don't get a lot of repeat customers. Exactly. You got it. Yeah. All they need is a mural, a statue, and they got that pond down there, that fountain for 9-11 Remembrance. The reflecting pool.

Reflecting pool, yeah. So what else do we need? We need a gift shop, you know? What's in the gift shop? What do people buy? I don't know. I got a button that says there were no Jews in the building, so I don't know. But it was 50% off.

It was going at a business sale. What the hell? That's crazy. I have another story. It's not here, but Elon Musk threatened or challenged Putin to a fist fight for the rights of Ukraine. That's adorable. The winner takes Ukraine.

That's fun. Yeah. How great. That's like, that's fun. Can he fight, Musk? I don't know. Putin's kind of old, but he does know jiu-jitsu. He's KGB.

Thank you. I still feel like Putin would kick his ass. Yeah. It'd be a big turnout. I mean, fuck Logan Paul. This is a show. I mean, the numbers. Although, Logan Paul would kick his ass.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No doubt about it. But what about, damn, Musk? I didn't know he could fight. Who knows? Yeah, you know, he's got the best trainer, obviously. He's probably going to be ready. Yeah, but that trainer might, he's got the best trainer, obviously. He's probably going to, you know, be ready.

Yeah, but that trainer might be blowing up his ego a little too much. That's right, probably. You're paying him, what, $600 a session with that kind of money? Oh, yeah, you got him. You got Putin. He's a judo master, but you got him. He's over the hill. Just, you know, like.

Yeah, he's a cord. Although Putin's got a bad back. I think he's like, there's a lot of wear and tear well there you go yeah but he also he has been a judo master for the last like 20 years like he's

he's scary he's a scary guy his black belt was recently revoked though yeah he's been what? yeah the jujitsu society whatever said we're taking back your black belt

because of this Ukrainian business ah so he's not a black belt anymore uh oh but he's got the belt i don't know that's a little that's a little tough i think he's gonna be okay with it i mean he's he's sleeping in a 1.7 billion dollar compound uh is that right yeah so i think he'll be okay with losing a piece of uh cotton damn did you do did you ever do martial arts not really did you i did judo for like a year are you good no i got beat up too many times i had to leave so i think i got to like yellow belt or orange belt do you can you fight at all uh i can hang in i'm like cool hand

luke i'll get beat up but it's so long that the guy's like Alright we're done here Same same I just hope Like that episode Where Homer just gets Punched in the face Yes exactly I just hope they get tired Yeah I can hang in But I'm not

You know I think What we just revealed Is Mark and I drink We can't fight Yeah But we will not Feel the pain Until the morning

Right Yeah There was a fight I don't know It's a UFC fight With Sean O'Malley where he's like this great fighter and he's beating the shit out of this one guy but the guy wouldn't go down so the ref was like i don't know what to do here and he's just punching him in the face the guy's

face is mangled bloody pulp and they just had to call it like all right we gotta stop and he was like i'm so good he was like wow i just can't let you do this to your face. That's pretty badass. It was pretty badass, and the guy became famous just from that fight, even though he didn't win. That Cool Hand Luke scene is so cool. I mean, watching that growing up was like hell yes. That big guy who beat the shit out of him, I forgot the name of that actor, but he's from Naked Gun.

Naked Gun, yeah. That guy's great. Kennedy? George Kennedy? George Kennedy. Yeah, there you go. Cool Hand Luke is, man, Paul Newman was the shit. That's my top five.

I know this podcast, because of us, it always will turn into a movie talk. I know. But fucking Paul Newman, dude. I think what, Hud blew him up, I think. Yeah. Hud is a great movie, and then the Hustler, but like Kuhan Luke is like, is he ever cooler than in Kuhan Luke? The best.

Yeah. He's in The Sting. Sting is good. I love Sting. It's a good heist movie. Yeah. He's in The Sting. Sting is good. I love Sting. It's a good heist movie. Yeah. Road to Perdition was the jury one.

The Verdict is The Verdict. That's his best movie. Great movie. You think so? It's incredible. He's not powerful and virile. He's sort of like

pathetic. Pathetic. And I can't make that my favorite film of his. It's not the coolest movie, but I think it's the grittiest. It's the best. Mammoth, dude.

Yeah, it's great. Yeah, no, Cool Hand Luke is great. And so is Butch Cass. He's pretty good. Oh, Butch Cass. That was a big one. It's not as good as Cool Hand Luke. But it was big.

By the way, we talked about Ronan speaking of movies. We should say that his special is recording on the 11th at the Village Underground will this be out by then? yeah Ronan Hirshberg comedy seller Matt's directing it he is one of the best stand ups he really is killer

he's a machine dude such great jokes and guaranteed this will be a killer special. He's been in Europe running it. Oh, yeah. He's touring like crazy. He was already a good comic.

It's good he's going to finally put that hour down and you guys get to go see it at the cellar. The comedy cellar at the Village Underground. Two shows. 8 and 10. 8 and 10 p.m. April 11th. If I'm in town, I'll be there for sure.

Yeah, I'll pop into that. Do you know it's like a monday i think it's caitlin lufo oh fun perfect this is so good i know i can't put it down well done sir ukraine so you got any bits yeah what do you got mark you got bits i forgot about bits i like it all right i got too. I haven't seen you in a while. Here we go. Okay. Oh, that's not good.

Shit, I had a big one. Now I can't think of it. Is this anything? Everybody, mental illness is very popular now. It's like fashionable. Like, hey, I have anxiety. I'm depressed. I'm OCDd but no one ever

claims narcissism that's the one mental disorder that no one's like you know i'm a narcissist like you don't see anybody say that like oh yeah sorry i'm inconsiderate and don't think about you but i'm a narcissist well the thing is a narcissist would never think about themselves as having a negative attribute ah too good to be a narcissist yeah right it would be hard for a narcissist to identify that themselves a great point but it's also it shows that it's an uncool one to have exactly because if if you say like oh i've you know i'm depressed like depressed people get attention you're the victim you're the victim right but the narcissist makes you you're the victim you're the victimizer yeah that's that's a good

see narcissism others suffer yes great right yeah the bit smart that's the bit that's the meat of it it's the rise of dominant narcissism yeah narcissism i think it's up like like everything others suffer who's who is the first narcissist you think of? Trump. Yeah. Others suffer. Right. He's having a blast. Yeah. His wife. Right. His kid.

His kid, right? Us. Us. But like, you know. But you know, you see a guy. Any politician is a narcissist for the record. No doubt about it. But like, you see a guy doing the locks five times.

Like, what are you doing? I'm OCD. They're very quick to tell you. They're proud of it. They're proud of it. Oh my God. Did you just do Rick Glassman's podcast yeah exactly

but they'll never go oh sorry I never call you back or I whatever you I fucked you over I'm a narcissist because it's inconsiderate yeah it's it's it's weird when your disorder has the same has the same attributes as someone who's

just a shitty friend right right yeah but it would actually be growth to admit it yeah but narcissists don't really have growth yeah i'm yeah i'm a narcissist i'm sorry i'm a narcissist although they don't apologize either yeah they say i'm a narcissist you really have got to get better friends this is on you i actually have a bit where i say yeah you've heard that bit yeah i love it i was in i'm in uh i say uh you know i was dating girls always mad at me i told my therapist goes well she picked you she has to accept you and i was like that's good stuff i'm gonna use as a weapon you know and i come home shit face where were you i go this is a you problem you gotta work this out but uh different bit though but it's just uh

you think i could use this yeah absolutely yeah it's absolutely a German board uh what do you got i have a lot of Ukraine jokes a lot of Russia jokes and i had one i was trying to work on about how um you know this is really the first major war with uh camera phones which really it's really a different war like thank god we didn't have that for other wars like you think like vietnam you just look at footage like oh my god turns out grandpa wasn't a hero this guy this guy's a terrible person you know not only not only did he uh you know turn in one of his own he you know he impregnated three locals something like uh it's also harder to respect your your war grandpa when he's like hey everybody we're out here with the chopper uh that's that's the chief over there he's taking a shit you know

we got opium over here we're having a good time you know the selfie video yeah we were yeah we we were in it man we were in it looks like a pretty nice uh tent right that's funny that's great the camera phone is big yeah it's like the what was the war that serious if you're if you're on snapchat yes yes you know we're out here in saigon like and comment uh subscribe don't forget to subscribe yeah the one guy is like yeah grandpa yeah he he gave away our position because you couldn't stay off TikTok. That's great. That actually happened. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Some guy in Ukraine was at the mall and said, oh, there's tanks parked here on his TikTok. Mall got blown up hours later. And now he's under arrest. Whoa. But he got a lot of followers. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's actually pretty good. And how many views? And that happened during like the actually in

2014 where they first took over crimea there was a like i think it might have been like a vice reporter or someone who followed a russian soldiers because they wouldn't say that there was actual russian soldiers in ukraine they followed a russian soldiers like facebook pics oh shit and follow them all the way across the border and into the crime game like clearly they are here that's crazy pictures with them with his pictures like align them clearly this is happening like you're an idiot for tagging yourself technology and social media it's like it's it's gonna change history books it's so fucking weird crazy fuck up history books because then you're gonna have 18 different history books with like basically it's gonna be like hashtag this hashtag that those are the

classes that you're taking your attention span is it's my attention span i feel already at bad at abd but it's like even when i'm reading a book i'll like put it down for a minute i'm like let me look at this let me put on the tv first i have like a basketball game on it i'll be reading a book i'm like peeking over the basketball score. How much do we need? I know. I know. I'm in the shower with a podcast playing and then I get out and I'm drying off with the TV and

the podcast still playing. It's sad. It's horrible. And I have the news on all day on top of it and I don't know why I can't. It's like part of my routine and I can't break the habit and I should put it off. It's so negative just coming at you so negative there's nothing good on the news there's no more of that squirrel skiing that'd be hilarious if they're like we have some bad news in ukraine but first uh

charlie the squirrel right here pull him up into the water i love that little guy fucking rule dude oh great squirrel that that was brightening people's lives. Dude, I long for the day of Pizza Rat. You kidding me? Exactly. Totally. They're like, we have breaking news. Bagel Rat, the new rat, is on the scene. There he is.

This is the note we're going to end on. Oh, no. What, what? I got a commercial. Here it is. Oh, he climbs on the skis. He's adorable. He's just trying to live.

Hell yeah. He's living his best life, as they say. Is this animal abuse? No. He's got a rope around his neck. I'm going to go with yes. Wait, he does? Yeah.

Remember Robert Schimmel's joke about the animals at SeaWorld? They're like, how does he pedal? Easy. They nail his legs to the fucking, to the bike. What do you think? Woo. That was shimmel. I love how it's sponsored

by GoPro because it's like from squirrel, from humans in squirrel suits to squirrels in fucking Oh, right.

Well, they don't have to pay the squirrel. All right. I found the joke I really wanted to try, but I could save it because I kind of do it all right all right all right so doing this whole chunk about women are sexier than men because

men don't want to be sexy we're only sexy on accident you know women could just turn it on you know uh that's why there's i get annoyed when guys bitch about women's feelings like women are so emotional they have all these feelings and i'm like yeah but thank god because if they didn't they wouldn't be with us you think they're with us for our looks they can see through it you know they can they can see other shit in men because of those feelings like he's ambitious or he's funny or whatever and then i have this whole act out about like i know a girl she's obsessed with smart men and i'm like i get it but how does that play out in the bedroom because a lot of the shit men find sexy you can do in the bedroom you know like legs or tits but the shit women find sexy like intelligence is some guy like uh hypotenuse

and that hits but it's shaky the feelings are what women like that's the only reason they're with us it's not it's not my uh thin dick and and 5 10 you know there's something about there's something about like saying something very observant you know like you're saying something like uh you do you show how informed you are while you're fucking her? Oh, yeah, yeah. You're just like, what's happening in Ukraine? It's horrible right now. Yeah.

I don't know if you saw the news story. She's like, oh my God, turn me over. There's also a lot of like, you know, geometry, trigonometry going on. So maybe if you can do the math right, the G-spot's easier to find. Right. Physics.

Yeah, if I put the leg like this. I don't know if you remember when you lost your virginity, but the angles are weird. Of course, yeah. You're new. You know? You're green. So sometimes I wish I had the calculus education to make that right the first time. They really teach you everything but the shit you need.

Can we get one class on how to angle yourself in the push-up position? Yes, please. Can we get one? Taxes, c yourself in the push-up position? Yes, please. Can we get one? Taxes, cunnilingus. There's all kinds. I don't need algebra. I had a great coach who would do the health class, and dude, he was so funny. He had George Carlin's voice.

He was a bearded, cranky Jew who played college baseball for Memphis, and he would just say fucked up shit and then be like oh i'm racist he goes i went to memphis 14 black guys 10 whites one jew i would be like yeah no one called you racist but he was just fucking he would just like pick fights or he'd do like he'd do the thing where he'd like put his finger through the oh my god he was such a classic uh he was so funny that's great that wouldn't fly now in gym no no dude he got he got laid off i mean he got another job he was great but i mean the guy who was in charge hated him he was so funny i mean he was legitimately a funny dude i hope he's all right he's all right he's doing

well all right he sent me a message recently he's doing he's doing well oh wow you keep in touch good to keep in touch i agree i agree i don't i don't know anybody from uh any teacher i mean i had a teacher come to my show in kentucky i was shocked that's crazy i was with ron on yeah what was that like my teachers hated me yeah yeah did they know they were coming to see you yeah how fucking weird would that be yeah holy shit i taught this guy english in seventh grade yeah yeah of course he lives in kentucky and he saw i was gonna play there and he's like wow it was nice it sounds like you went to a good school i did yeah yeah i went to public school and it was a lot of like fuck you sit down down, you know.

Well, there was that too. But yeah, I think also it's like they didn't like me, a lot of them at the time, and now they're like, ah, he's all right. Oh. I think it's a lot of like, he grew. Right. I guess I never grew. I didn't like you then, I don't like you now. I had a teacher, Miss O'Dwyer, and one time she was like, we were talking about something,

and she goes, what does that mean? And I go, Miss O'Dwyer, you got time she was like, we were talking about something, and she goes, what does that mean? And I go, Miss O'Dwyer, you got to get out more. And she was like, that's it? Detention? I'm like, what? That's it? One time I said, up yours. I didn't know what it meant.

I just saw Bill Murray say it, and I got in trouble for that. Detention's really changed. Because we deal with detention now. Brittany Griner's in detention. Right. She's in the detention center. Detention back in the day, it was fucking- It was an hour. an hour an hour after school no talking to your friends that you can go home it wasn't you're in russia and you're gonna be politicized it felt like it though you're like oh

detention this is brutal a whole hour and you of course we all saw the jed nelson scene in breakfast club so you're like come at me teach oh this summer let's go and the second it's over you're like fuck I ruined my whole yeah all my plans are shot

I was trying to be Judd Nelson in Breakfast Club you see this that's what you get for spilling paint in the garage I've seen that movie

too many times he was the fucking man he was the coolest Judd Nelson for life dude remember when he shoved his head in the crotch that was big. Oh, yeah.

Molly Ringwald. Oh, yeah. She was one fine piece of ace. What about the scene where he's walking through the ventilation duct or crawling, and he tells a joke, but he never finishes it? Oh, let's hear it. I don't know. You got to pull it up.

But as a kid, I was like, what's the punchline? Because he falls through the vent. Too busy looking up the crotch shot here. Hold on. Oh, yeah. All right. Let's do the joke. That's assault, brother.

Yeah. Let's do the joke. That's assault, brother. Anthony Michael Hall. Yeah. Who was a really hot goth chick? Ally Sheedy. She was hot.

Yeah. She was hot. She painted or drew a picture of snow and then used her dandruff. That was the thing that I remember most from that movie. Yeah, she was hot. She drew a picture of snow and then used her dandruff. That was the thing that I remember most from that movie. Yeah. The principal's so good. He was in a ton of shit.

He was in Money Talks with Chris Tucker. He was in Die Hard. Okay, girl in a bar with poodle under one arm. And a two-foot salami under the other. She leaves the poodle on the table. Bartender says, I suppose you won't be needing a drink. And then the lady says,

Okay. See? I suppose you won't be needing a drink. She's got a poodle under one arm and a salami, a two foot salami. And what did he put on the bar? Put the poodle on the bar.

So now she's just holding a two-foot salami. Yeah. And I'm guessing it's going to be a dirty joke. Yeah. So immediately salami, we think, cock. Sure. But is this a well-known joke that everybody in the audience is like, oh, I've heard that. And we just were too young?

Or you got to Google it. We're going to the comments. I don't know. Can someone finish this unfinished joke? Thank you. God, this is why the internet comes in handy. I believe it's never intended to be finished, but I'm curious.

Ah. And it starts with, all right, we just saw that. I need an answer, Reddit. Blonde says, anyone want to read that? Blonde says, I definitely do after what just happened to me.

Bartender says, I'm so sorry, what happened? The blonde says, well, my boyfriend and I were just about to make love when out of nowhere the crazy bastard says i'm gonna pound my favorite bitch with my giant sausage so i grabbed them both and got the hell out of there okay he was she was afraid he was gonna fuck the dog with the salami right so this it's not a great joke. Not a great joke. But it's a great setup to a joke

like you would expect. Like if you were to say give me the front half of a joke. Right. It's pretty good. It's a pretty good setup. I'm nervous

when the setup's too big. It's like the windup's so big then you're kind of it's just building it's building expectations. Agreed. The simpler the better. A midget walks into a bar

says ouch. Yeah. You know you're like alright that's a joke midget walks into a bar, says, ouch. Yeah. You know, you're like, all right, that's a joke. Horse walks into a bar. Why the long face? Okay. Boom. Comments are saying.

Yeah, that was homecrafted. Comments are saying that guy came up with it himself. Oh. It recently revered in Premier Magazine that there was no punchline. According to Judge Nelson, I made the joke up. Oh. My line was to fall into the room. Did you call him Judge Nelson?

Reinhold. All rise. Order. They had that on the animated clerk show. Did you ever see that? It was the Honorable Judge Reinhold. He was an actual judge on the show. So he says, so we were trying to work backward from that.

What the joke would have a punchline. Okay. All right. Well, I feel better that it has no ending because that was my whole life. I didn't like the favorite bitch line anyway. Not my favorite. No. All right.

Well. Had a lot of salt today. Yeah. What was lunch? I just had like snacks. Uh-oh. Light stomach. Could hit you hard.

What did you eat? Me and him got a barley soup and a half of pastrami on rye. Where'd you go? Ben's Delicatessen. Good? So good. We've gone there 10 times now. Is that Chinese place closed down for good?

I think so. Fuck! Yeah. All right. Well, we got a Patreon to do. All right. Well, you guys have been great. Make sure to subscribe to the Patreon.

Patreon.com slash WeMightBeDrunkPod. Email us. Rex, jokes, whatever. Peeves. WeMightBeDrunkPod at gmail.com if you want to send us shit. Gotham Studios on 39 West 38th Street. Mark, you're hitting the road, man. I'm on the road every weekend.

Coming to a town near you. DC, Raleigh cleveland chicago uh denver phoenix irvine california um you name it i'm all at dania beach indianapolis i'm all over the road it's gonna be a fun year uh what else we got there addison improv great club austin paramount theater for moon tower uh what else you got phoenixison Improv. Great club. Austin Paramount Theater for Moon Tower. What else you got there? Phoenix, Arizona. Phoenix.

Colusa, California. It's some casino. That should be interesting. Addison Improv in May. That's Dallas. Yeah. Bricktown. Does that say Bricktown?

Yeah. OKC. That's good. Good club. Good room. Good crowd. San Jose Improv. Santa Blanca.

Yeah. So a lot of fun dates. MarkNormanComedy.com. Check out Out to Lunch. Check Jose Improv. Santa Blanca. Yeah, so a lot of fun dates. MarkNormanComedy.com. Check out Out to Lunch. Check out the stand-ups on Netflix. And the merch is cooking. We got koozies. We got those glasses.

People seem to be enjoying the glasses. I love the glasses. I love the koozies. They're great. Yeah, what do I got? Salt Lake City coming up. What else? Brea.

Brea Improv. Just added an L.A. show, but that's the small room small room so it's gonna go fast is the beacon sold out i think it is but they might just release some new tickets because i some people are asking like one by one so there might be a couple a few tickets left um what else nashville zanies albany funny bone toronto uh providence chicago tampa cleveland all over that shit houston west palm we got a makeup date in july really glad i missed uh west palm in march and moved it to july to july that's exciting right when you want to go to florida uh all over the place so yeah san jose improv as well so all over the all over the states baby samorelle.com slash shows pumped loving it so uh yeah you got a new hour to put

down on wax oh yeah we're ironing out the kinks so go see it now when it's hot it's like bubbling bubbling over and then you got to put it down like a dog with rabies. So yeah. Sally, you good? Sally's got some gigs finally. He's back. I'm back, baby. Beer Jew, you still working at Say Less? Am I allowed to say that?

Yes, you are. I'm still working at Say Less. I've finally got my own recipe book coming out soon. Whoa. Called Bodega Bartending. Whoa. That fits with us pretty good.

You know what I mean? Yeah, we'll teach you how to make real nice drinks with anything you can find at your local liquor store and corner store so you don't have to get too fancy and you can follow along with us here. Hell yeah. And our whiskey should be coming out within the next couple months, Christian. Maybe sooner if we're lucky. If we're lucky.

Christopher. Yeah, Christopher. What did I months, Christian. Maybe sooner if we're lucky. If we're lucky. Christopher. Yeah, Christopher. What did I say? Christian. All right, well, he's a religious man. But we'll see you guys. Thank you. We love you.

Thank you, guys. Keep drinking. Thank you. A bit of keeber-reck, you know the beer juice close I've had a little too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking pub And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like the cops coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans

This woman doesn't look like I remember her and I get down in the same way we might be true