We Might Be Drunk - Ep 73: Aida Rodriguez w/Kombucha

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

Hilarious Aida Rodriguez joins us on this episode. Don't miss Aida on the road https://www.funnyaida.com Also watch her HBO Max special "Fighting Words" Support the show and get 20% off with the code DRUNK at https://SheathUnderwear.com Support the show and use promocode DRUNK at https://DietSmoke.com for 20% off your order. Support the show and get up to 34% off some sweet new metal art with the code DRUNK at https://displate.com/wmbd?art=6247414ceddb3 Visit http://marknormandcomedy.com/ and https://www.sammorril.com/shows for more details! Join the Patreon for bonus episodes weekly and more bonus content: Patreon.com/WeMightBeDrunkPod Send us emails [e-mail]  

Hey folks here we are we might be drunk we're really doing it good to have you we got a hot guest special guest how the hell are you I'm good all right good to see you it's good to be called special yeah and not in the other context exactly exactly well no we're excited I as I was saying I rarely look at the cellar line. I was like, oh, you're in town. This is nice. Yeah. Yeah, you're bi-coastal.

Ida Rodriguez. We didn't say her name yet. Oh, sorry. My bad. But yeah. Are you bi-coastal? Pretty much. But you're mostly LA, though.

When it comes to stand-up, I am. But I come here to do my stand-up. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I bombed last night and it was at um i heard at derrick shirt show you did it if you would have it would have it was so funny because whose show derrick um gains has a show in brooklyn oh okay and i did the show um we're in brooklyn at the

brooklyn comedy club oh that's a tough room where is it it's on uh bedford yeah i'm in williamsburg oh yeah everyone bombs in williamsburg no that's that's where you're supposed to bomb that's where the cool kids they don't they don't do comedy but they look at us they're like we see what you're trying to do yeah right judge those are the worst people ever but i had my i have i was at the i did the cellar and then i did the fat Black and I had two really good sets. Yeah, I was on the show you were on at the cellar. They were hot. I should have just gone back to the hotel.

I should have ended there, but then I was like, nah, I'm rigged for destruction. So I went over there and I just had, I had a really bad set. And you know, when you have a bad set in a black room, it is intensified, right? Yes. Cause then Derrick went on stage and like killed me after I just bombed. Bad said in a black room, it is intensified, right? Cause then Derek went on stage and like killed me

after I just bombed. So it was funny though. That's the worst feeling when you, I remember I did New Year's in this awful old room called CB's Comedy Club. Do you remember? It was like the alt to the seller back in the day. But I remember I went on,

I was there with my girl for the time, it was like many years ago and I bombed so hard and I was like, well, for the time. It was like many years ago. And I bombed so hard. And I was like, well, no one's going to get him. It's New Year's. Literally like three words up, Yamanika starts crushing. And I was like, it's just me. Man, I saw Yamanika the other night at like a tough room. And she just talked about shit going on.

Like not even like written stuff. Killed. And I went up and bombed. With like my tight material. It happens to the best of us. And you know what it is, no this to anybody, Yamanika is one of my really good friends and I adore her. But the comedy audiences now are mixed in

with like pop culture people who don't know what standup is. Sing it sister. You know what I mean? So they're like, they go there and they think you're gonna dance. Right. They wanna know you got a gimmick.

You know what I mean? Are you gonna have a prop? Are you gonna bring somebody on stage and roller skates? Like this is comedy now, right? I mean, I was just in Miami Improv. They're like too hot. It's all tits. It's all cleavage.

It's all sexy. And I'm the opposite of sexy. I'm like anxiety, huh? You know, and I bite my shorts. They are hot. Whenever you see a crowd that's too high, you're like, I'm gonna bomb. Yeah, it happens at Irvine all the time. Oh really?

I'm going there. Yeah, and then they go, can you do the skit about the, like you can do anybody's joke, like can you do the skit? And I'm like, no, I you can do anybody's joke. Like you can do the skit. And I'm like, no, I don't do skits bitch. I know it's tough.

You've been on the, you go hard in the road. I have been, you know, like I go in and out from the road. Cause the road is, it's different now. It's really different in terms of like, I was in the, at the punch line and two people two tables were asked to leave because they were they were told sacramento to be quiet and they didn't want to be quiet and so it was funny because the first table was a table it was a white guy and his white girlfriend and they were both um they were like you know acting up they want talking

they didn't want to pay for their drinks it was all stuff so they get kicked out and then the mexicans said hold my beer and then they went there because the people there was somebody in the audience that was like white privilege right and then the mexicans were like, nah, let me show you that we about this life too. Hold my cerveza. And they got, exactly. Damn. They got, they ended up getting escorted. Which show was it? It was the Friday Night Late Show, of course.

The classic. Yeah, absolutely. That area too, you can kind of hear like motorcycle gangs going around at night. You're like, it's weird to be on stage. Oh my God, how you know? It was that night. And I was like, the sons of anarchy are outside. Don't join them.

It was a whole thing in the parking lot. It's not good. Yeah, that's not a great area. I hate when you can hear the outside in the club because it just takes you out of it immediately. I'm up here because I'm insecure. You're doing that because you're insecure. It's too much. It's too much. Exactly. Yes. Like if I'm up here because I'm insecure. You're doing that because you're insecure. It's too much.

It's too much. Exactly. Yes. Like if I'm jerking off and I hear my girlfriend in the other room crying, I'm like, hold on, you're taking me out of it. We're helping. It's always about you. Yes, exactly.

That is a great club though. I mean, the other shows are great. No, they were. I mean, all the shows were great. And you get your people now. Yes. And the audience was the one that went off on them i didn't have to say anything i love that that was the beauty of it all this guy was like if you

don't want to be here shut the f up get out he was like don't worry ida we got him i was like oh man it was that white on white crime was beautiful beautiful we go hard at each other we're scared to get called racist but we'll go out of each other i feel like the road for a female comic is just hard it's just harder i think it's just yeah in addition to having to be worried about rape and murder yeah you also gotta get worried about yeah i did uh i did a show in corpus christi texas and they put me in like this motel that was next to a truck stop oh boy no sleep deliverance in they called it yeah yeah it was so this dude that was so they had a flyer of the show at the desk the front desk yeah and this guy ended up knocking on my door he was

banging my door down drunk he was a baseball farm league baseball player the girl in the front desk got scared and told him what room I was in cause he was harassing her. And yes, and he started banging my door down asking me to bet. Did you have the deadbolt up? Yeah, always, always.

I put a chair behind the door. I mean, I'm paranoid, so. That's not paranoid. That's like, you have to, that's crazy. And so then they- You called the cops? They called the cops and they got him. But it was just, he was just like i

just wanted to talk to her i didn't know him but that's how weird yeah he was super drunk man tough time see if that happens to me i'm like come on in you know some some softball lady well she's probably not into me but uh yeah no it's that is fucking horrible did that happen a lot mm-hmm no I wouldn't say it happens a lot but those are things that man's probably don't have to worry about you know I walk home late I got earbuds in yeah you don't do the earbuds not in public no can't even look down on your phone damn I have a friend who is she she's actually a person a public figure she was in la walking her dog and a guy and she was bending over to pick up the the dog's poop and a guy just

walked up to her and started humping her from the back what damn she's little she's small so there it's just out of control like right now Sorry, Ellie Wong. I had no idea. She's little, I assume. Yeah, I know. I know. That's crazy. But yeah, that's why I always say, Mark and I are on the road every week. But I always think, you're a female comic who does the road hard. You go hard with it.

So I'm like, oh, man. I respect that always because I know it's a different thing. Yeah, even when we went to Bermuda. I remember that. What? You guys dated no sorry no um we went we were at a we did a show at bermuda yeah but the relief was that he was there so i didn't have to be by myself right but like when you go out of the country i went to dubai and um i i had them change my flight. I was there for 24 hours. I did the show and then I went back to the airport

and I wanted to leave. Really? Yeah, I didn't feel safe there. Well, they got women's stuff over there. It's a different world with the ladies there. Yeah, I remember there was like weird dudes in Bermuda too. That was a weird gig. That was like a shady gig actually.

I just remember that now. Holy shit, I forgot we did that. That was like, Jesus. It was just, especially when you go overseas. That was like, Jesus. It was just, it's just, especially when you go overseas, like we went to South Korea, April Macy and I were on this tour and this Korean man tried to lock April in his store so he could beat her. What?

And we had to physically, Julia Lillis and I had to physically. I almost said why, as if there's any good reason. He was mad at her because they hate white women because it's the epitome of privilege to them, right? Because in those places, women walk behind the men still. Like, they're still- So April wanted to try on some dresses. Mind you, April is shorter than I am. And if I wanted to try on a dress, he was like, yes.

And then when she was, like, trying to try on a dress he said he was like yes and then when she was like trying to try on a dress he was like no you too big like and didn't want her so she was she was she went in the dressing room to try on a dress and he was waiting for her he took the hook from the thing and threw it at the door and i was like i think it's time to go yeah oh my god and then when she came out he tried to like he was trying to we had to physically grab him jeez kim jung-ho it's about time these white women uh you know they have they get everything so it's good they get a little hardship that's hilarious i'm trying to bring some levity to because it's all such dark shit yeah but you've been like i mean But you've been like, I mean, you've been killing it lately.

You know, you did the Netflix. Were you touring because of the Netflix thing? No, my HBO Max special. Oh. No, but you were with April from the Netflix. Oh, we did that. We started. No, this was a military tour.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, and you know, and then we were going to call the cops. And thank God we didn't because we don't speak Korean. So he could have said anything he could have said she was stealing right you know it would have been in that vince vaughn movie in jail forever oh yeah like that was his version of midnight express right remember that yeah yeah damn but yeah but you know what it's still there's still nothing like the road when you call yourself a comedian you have to to. It's a necessary evil.

Mark and I were just talking before you got here. We love the road. Like, I really I'm not on the road this weekend and I'm bummed. I mean, I want it's like the only weekend I'm on the road coming up. And I mean, I was just in Rochester, New York with Gary Veeder does a road with me a lot. And even the worst part of it, like for whatever reason, I saw Jim Norton at the Cellar on Wednesday the night before we went. And he goes, You're flying to Rochester. It's the worst part of it like for whatever reason i saw jim norrent the seller on wednesday the night

before we went and he goes you're flying to rochester it's the worst flight ever it's like a shaky plane for whatever reason the next day it's it felt like we were on a paper plane the plane was shaking we're landing they had he doesn't say anything they just take back off what because the wind was so bad he goes and then 10 minutes later he goes i'm sorry about that guys we had to go a different angle we We're literally, we're freaking out. Because there's a woman, by the way, Gary's supposed to be window. And we were going to switch. But this woman wouldn't switch with him.

But like, but I'm also like, Gary's like, that's my seat. But he didn't want to argue with her. She took his seat and then wouldn't switch. But then now he's sitting next to this crazy woman who wants to play and does that. She goes, ah! She's just screaming. And we're just like, ah, fuck. And then, of course, then we get to Rochester.

And we're like, you know, we try to make the road fun. Gary's a great hang on the road. I said, find a good restaurant. Let's go there. We start walking there. We're going through what is clearly, like, not a safe area. There's dealers on every corner. And Gary's like, we can make it.

And I was like, dude, we can't. We're going to get robbed. And then as we're walking through, literally, we're waiting for an Uber because I didn't want to walk it. A guy gets in our face and starts fucking with us. And I was like, we're New Yorkers and we're still like, no. And Gary goes, you know, we almost died in a plane a second ago and I'm more scared just being alive here in Rochester. Oh, wow. Because we're in all these new cities and we don't know the areas, you know.

I know. Colorado Springs was kind of scary. Really? That happened to me there too. it sounds so nice colorado springs it is it is like it's like greenland and iceland like yeah you know what i mean that's right you think it's beautiful yeah and i mean it it has beautiful scenery but it's a different like oh they were they were they were a kind group of people that came out to the shows but walking loonies is that what you played that club loonies with two e's i remember playing there wow sounds rough yeah it was i remember i was there at loonies uh colorado springs first off i have a joke about how the it's like a joke obviously but i say with the

most anti-semitic thing that ever happened to me was you know i was in a store and i said do you have any seltzer and the woman goes we don't sell seltzer here that was as bad as it got but that happened in colorado springs where they literally looked at me like jew right but uh i remember being in the condo i'm literally there for five minutes a jehovah's witness bangs on my door i'm like this fucking sucks you can walk around at night it was i was in a sketchy part of town, but that club, for whatever reason, they all week,

the bartender's like, you can have a beer, you pussy. And I was like, all right, I guess I'll have a beer. And then I'm, of course I'm getting,

I'm pounding beer. End of the weekend, he hands me a bill. Look, you egged me on. Wow. That's, that's the shadiest of the shady right there.

I love how it is. Like, oh, this baseball player is banging on my door. Sam's like, this Jehovah's witness. Well, they're almost as bad yeah that's true they're more persistent maybe yeah i mean i come from well it's not a cult because it's bigger in numbers so they consider it a sect but my family was seven-day adventist whoa what does that mean that means they they practice like jews like they

um they observe the sabbath so on friday nights the lights go out all electricity is off until sun the sun down on saturday and as you worship and you go to church and they don't eat pork like very similar to very similar interesting and and you don't drink your family was no i don't eat pork, like very similar to. Very similar. Interesting. And you don't drink, your family was. No, I don't drink because in spite of all of that, they chose alcoholism. And so I don't drink. I come from drug addicts and alcoholics,

so I just don't drink, I'm not a big drinker. It's weird to be okay with drugs, but you're like no pork. Yeah. That's a weird choice. But with most religious people, well, not well, I don't give a fuck. Many religious people are like that. That's why they need religion because they need to be controlled.

Structure, yeah. Yeah, they need that structure because I'm not religious. I don't do drugs. I don't drink. You know, I don't live a wild life. Most of my religious friends are the biggest holes I know. I mean, look at the pedophile priests, you know, all that

shit. It's all you go hard one way you got it's got a, you got to come out the other end. Those pedophile priests are hoes. Yeah, they are. Absolutely. When we say hoes, we are being inclusive that men, women and non binary. Yeah. Well, my priest only liked the boys.

But yeah, he wasn't very inclusive. Oh, yeah. Your priest was a pedo? I went to a Catholic school, and he got popped years later. I was unscathed. As long as you didn't get popped. No, no. He didn't go for it, but he went for some of your friends?

Oh, yeah. And I was a little hurt. No. But yeah, he was out there. That's crazy. He got in trouble, yeah. Wow. That reminds me of a story. My attorney was a child actor.

Oh, I think I know who your attorney is. Was he from Goonies? Yeah, so. Wow. But I was telling him that, I asked him, I said, what about all these allegations about the people getting molested and stuff? He said said the advantage

of being the fat kid is that nobody wants to fuck you. They stepped right over Chunk and went to Corey Feldman. That's what happened. So he was like I don't know any of it because he said nobody wants to fuck me. Wow. Oh my god. He was great. That kid ruled. He was great. Yeah. He's still great. When I'm a parent, I want to be fat kids all day. Your lawyer is Chung from the Goonies. Yeah. That's great. And he's a good guy? He's the best. I love him.

He's my friend, too. He was here. He came for my taping. He did not come for my taping, but he was at my premiere. That's my friend, though. I've known him since I started doing stand-up. He is my favorite person in this industry because he does not have a problem telling somebody to go themselves and i like people

who are transparent like i don't do the phony stuff like he's like he'll tell me he's like you know that you'll listen to everybody on your team and then like hey you know you should do this because nobody knows who you are you should do this and then it'll get to him and and then be like, hey, you should do this because nobody knows who you are. You should do this. And then it'll get to him and he'll be like, I say fuck these guys. You really gonna do this for this amount of money? Like, uh-uh.

And I love him for that. I do. That's the breath of fresh air because in this business, it's all, how you doing, sport? What's up, kiddo? Or how about this one? They love you,

but they're passing. How the hell do they love me? What the fuck? It's all sugarcoating. every meeting you walk into first off we're big fans i'm like well you passed in my last seven ideas so you're kind of huge people they're like we're huge fans you own a network they love you know what they love to tell you they they it's a script right and i learned it more from when you actually work. Remember when you do a show, people are like, we are so happy to have you.

We love you so much. We're so glad you're here. And then your friends will tell you, hey, they said that to me too. You can't love everybody. I remember Lou Ferranda at Caroline's, you know, the Booker at Caroline's, back in the day, he literally, in front of us,

there'd be like eight comics on New York's Funniest, the lineups, and he would go, you're a star, you're a star, you're gonna be great. He'd turn literally two feet away, you'd overhear him go, you, you're the best. He would do it. He goes outside, there's a pigeon, you, you're the real king.

No, he would like literally everyone, yeah. I mean, everyone does it. None of us are special. You're right, it's a script, it's all. Although HBO clearly believed in you. I mean, and Netflix, I mean, everyone does it. None of us are special. You're right, it's a script. Although HBO clearly believed in you, and Netflix, I mean, HBO, that was big for you, right? The HBO special? Was that the biggest one you think for you?

Yeah, that's the biggest special. Yeah, because it was an hour, because Netflix was a half hour. Though, the next special I do, I want to do a half hour. Really? Yeah, because I think that the attention span of the average person now, because people not, only the connoisseurs are the ones that watch for quality that are like, oh, that's some good writing.

This is a good comic. This is funny. The average person now, they just consume all of their entertainment. Bites. And so I think Aziz was brilliant for doing that half hour you get in and you get out. I think you're right. I think you're right because Sebastian, as big as he is, somebody showed me his numbers and it's like a chart

that just falls off a cliff after about 38 minutes or so. Wow. And these are his fans. Well, you know, David Tell told me that he's like, I want my next special to be a half hour. Like so many people are just like, they want, it's a great way to get new fans too. You leave them wanting more as opposed to, as opposed to, as you said, even a huge comic like that.

The inevitable fall off. And as comic, as road comics, we get to give them a half hour and still have some new shit, you know, tucked away that they haven't seen. Yeah, for me, that's important too. And you know, like I did a documentary for my special because I wanted to include this documentary.

I wanted people to see how people like me mine our jokes. Because, like, I met my father, and I did this whole thing with my dad in the documentary, but I roasted his ass in the special. But I wanted people to see how the jokes come to be because they don't realize that we're just a bunch of insecure people like I'm like I'm like if I was a pastor you could hold me to this standard like if I came to church and say everybody fuck everybody in the room yeah then you could be like hey man I went to this church and this Puerto Rican lady

said right everybody but I'm a comedian and I I'm like, you guys don't understand. Don't hold me to the same standard. We're flawed. And we're telling you we're flawed. Anytime you see a comic who's self-righteous or anytime you feel that they're holier than thou, you're like, you're the one with the skeletons. You're the problem. But no, I agree with you completely.

And it's funny because some of the white girls who are the woke white girls, they write skeletons yeah you're the problem but no I agree with you completely and I'm you know it's funny cuz like some of the white girls who are like the woke white girls you know they write think pieces about me like I they they shit it on me and yeah well cuz they asked me I was at the cellar and Hollywood reporter asked me about Louis CK and I said they they said, do you think he's coming back? I said, absolutely. Right. I don't, his fan is not, his fans are not through, he's not a machine comic. He has a built in fan base that comes from all over the place. But I was like, look, if you want guys not to pull out their dicks on girls, nobody better than Louis CK to tell them guys. Cause he should,

he should be, if I say, Hey guys, don't pull your dicks out on girls, they're gonna be like, fuck you, here's my dick. But if he says it, he's the only one that can feed his flock. So my point was, hopefully he'll come back and address it and say it's not cool to do this, right? You know what bugs me about this though too?

Wait, wait, I'm sorry. Were you finished? No, no, but what i'm saying is that so i said that and then i became a rape apologist and then they wrote all these people slayed jezebel and i'm like all you bitches are fake yes you are performative you act like you don't have any black friends you don't give a fuck about women and it's only because of you because if you actually cared about women that you be on the front lines for action, not words on, you know, and they came for me and I'm like,

they were demanding that I stopped performing at the cellar because Louie was performing there. I'm like, how many people you think not going to come to the cellar cause Ida doesn't show up. Y'all stupid. And now you're attacking a woman woman like how is it to come full sort of the irony is so ridiculous was this interview in promotion for your special as well this was before the special came out um but i i was really salty about it because in the name of women empowerment they came they used their whiteness and weaponized it against me

and that was racist right now. And I didn't, I didn't say that. I didn't go out and say you racist white bitches. I just said, all of y'all can eat a dick because at the end of the day, I really believe that this is all performative. Yeah. It's all fake. And it was just, um, name of clicks.

Yeah. In the name of clicks and also to demonize me. That's like when people, that's why I said I don't wanna talk about Joe Rogan or when people ask me, I just say, why don't you ask Conan? Oh. Why don't you say, why don't you ask me about me

if you're interviewing me? Yeah. Right. That's kind of my issue is that you have specials coming out. You're on the road. You have stuff. I think it takes away from you to make everything about a dude i mean or about any other comic why are we talking about another comic i i always resent that when

they're like what's your i heard bill burr have the best response to a guy uh asking about louis when it first broke a guy goes what do you what do you think about louis goes what do you think about louis and the guy was like oh he goes yeah that's how i feel and i was like that's the best way to just fuck you here's here's what you sound like like that's the best way to just you here's here's what you sound like right yeah let me hold a mirror up to you exactly i know you're too scared to talk all right we'll stop trying to ruin my career so you can get it don't ask us go ask the people who have equal or more power those are the people if you want to take ask conan right you know ask jimmy fallon what he feels about Joe Rogan saying, I guarantee you, you won't write you want clicks. And then I don't want that kind

of fame. That's not how I'm with you. That type of fame is short money. It's, it's you're going for something very short lived. Yeah. And I don't that doesn't mean that I am in favor of sexual assault, or whatever. But at the end of the day, a lot of this stuff that comes from one person's word against the other, and you get caught up in it, and then you end up being the one

that suffers the consequences for speaking about it, and you don't even know what happened. Like for me, I didn't even have the information. I was like, well, you know, if he comes back, he should tell people not to pull the dicks out. That's all I can say, right? Yeah, I agree. You know what I mean?

Who better to tell the people, you know, than their hero? Why would they listen to me? And they said that I was trying to, I was being an apologist and I was being moderate and I needed to take the side of women. And I'm like, it's so funny when you hear people say that. I think your side is actually very feminist, what you're saying.

You're saying this is on him to do this. Why is this on me? Yeah, exactly. And the other thing is, is like, I've been sexually assaulted. So when I talk about it, I'm speaking from a place of experience, right? So, but I'm not gonna,

I'm just sitting here listening to these people and I was like, I hate it here. This new wave of where we are now, it's like all is lost because we are operating from listening. Everybody has a voice and nobody has sense. And that shit is scary. You know what I mean? The need for content has outweighed reason. We're talking more than we're thinking, and that's bad for anything.

But that's what happened to journalism. There's journalists now. Think about the range of journalists. There's journalists who are like, who's influencing Putin behind the scenes? But then there's journalists who are like, look how ugly this woman got from the 1980s. How many articles do you see like that? Like, this woman ran Hollywood in 1980s. How many articles do you see like that? Like, this woman ran Hollywood in 1980s. Here's what she looks like today.

I'm like, you're a journalist too? I know. You get the same title? Yeah, no, it's crazy. And they just started doing this when it got popular too. It wasn't like they were out on the front lines back, you know, 10 years ago. This became a thing and people jumped on board. And now they act like heroes.

And it's funny because you can see the monsters grow, right? Like you watch people that you never heard of before. And then they say, fuck Chinese bitches. And then people are like, ah, and they're like, oh, they like fuck Chinese bitches. Eat Koreans out. And then it just grows and grows. And by the time it's over, they're a fucking monster. That happened to Donald Trump. At first, Donald Trump, people were, Donald Trump talked about running for president before. People just laughed at him.

And then we got to idiocracy. And listen, the Trump people, I hate them them all so don't think that i'm riding for biden i hate that we have to say that now yeah i do feel like you do because i'll make biden jokes and people will get upset but like i make trump jokes they get upset i'm like hey guess what it's the job of the comedian to make fun of the president yes exactly i hate that we even have to preface it with like hey i don I don't like this. Guess what? We're comedians. I know. We got to put everybody in a bin now.

Like if Biden shits his pants, I'm going to make a joke about it. And they go, oh, you're anti-Biden. I'm like, I'm a pro shit joke is what I am. Stop trying to put me and figure me out and then judge me accordingly. Is it funny or is it not funny? Yeah, I got trashed in Florida. I remember one of the reviews was he made fun of our president. I was like, it's a comedy funny. Yeah, I got trashed in Florida. I remember one of the reviews was, he made fun of our president. I was like, it's a comedy show.

Yeah. But those are the people that were shouting to shoot Hillary Clinton. You know what I'm saying? So it's just, it's not about you making fun of the president. Well, people get mad if you shit on Hillary too. Yeah, but you have to shit on Hillary.

You can't, tell me, show me a politician that's clean and i'll show you a cartoon because that shit does not exist no they all get checks they all got interests and and it's so funny that people have been there's a ruse like and everybody has a mic so you see these people dumb as hell she attacked our president she doesn't even understand you know what she wants all of the immigrants to come and take all of our jobs all they do is repeat all the talking points and it's a lack of education you know what i think it really got bad is when remember the guy threw the shoe at you at george bush and everyone and everyone thought it was funny that was the beginning of us being like, fuck the president.

But also, I don't get why you can't make fun. I mean, it's like, I do feel a little resistance when I make a Biden joke in New York, or I do make a Biden joke in, you know. Sure, yeah. Everybody's scared. And they might even agree with you. They're just like, I'm in New York.

I can't be seen laughing at this. It'll get worse for the next election cycle, too. If Bideniden runs again i don't know how the hell he will but if biden runs it's gonna get worse it's just it continues to get worse because we spend more money on bombs than school and so you have a whole bunch of people who the fdr said the greatest threat to democracy was a threat a lack of of education. And so you can see it now. And people don't realize how bad it is because they think, oh, you know, this is always happening. It has not always happened. No, this feels new.

This is very new. It's crazy he said that before TikTok because it's gotten worse. We're getting dumber. I really feel like I'm getting dumber. So you remember facebook was a lot of words yeah right and then they went to twitter and condensed the words now we went to pictures yeah and then from pictures we've gone to videos but the videos have gotten shorter shorter uh-huh we're gonna go back to vine vine is gonna come back yeah but you know six seconds i watch

like a lot of i watch a lot of this shit and a lot of games and stuff kids are playing now are very simple it's almost like there's kind of this movement to go back to interacting duck duck goose type shit and like i'll watch these kids play these dumb games like they flip a bottle and it lands on the table and they're like ah it's almost like they're getting away they have to get away from the screen and we watch this shit like that's so entertaining i'm like that's what we did in our basement we were at seven because we had fucking no wi-fi yeah but now they're doing like eight things at once so i think it went from like that simple game and that was all you did right then it went to like oh this is a really intense rpg i'm playing and then it turned into like i'm gonna

watch a movie while playing the simple game right while uh on the phone with a friend like you're doing a ton of things true i watched the gerard carmichael special i had a my phone going i had an ipad and a computer gun i'm like i should just watch a comedy special now i got 38 things open and i was jerking off you know what so yeah wow i know he looked good he's hot yeah he's a hot gay man. No, really? We Might Be Drunk is excited to welcome our new sponsor, Diet Smoke. Most of us have had a, I don't think this edible is working moment. Then 10 minutes later, you're on the couch and you can't remember the word cat. I've been there. Edibles can hit you when you least expect it, and their dosage can be very uncertain. That's why when we need the perfect medium high,

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It feels good. Look, I think it comes with some minis too look at that magnet there super cool thank you display it get on it get your own thing the real you want to see some scary stuff go to youtube to the kids section and they have these videos where they're like all they do is just stack something right and? And then it's 30 minutes of stacking, you know, balls, and they have millions of views. So somebody sits there and watches the balls get stacked in order. Weird.

I do that on a different website. No. But you look at it, because my niece, she watches the kids' stuff. And I was like, has's just been watching like. There you go. It's mad, oh, I didn't. But why not go stack the balls kid? Why are you gonna watch the ball stacking?

But they sit there and it's like, look at that 7.5 million views. Wow. Hilarious. That's more than all our specials put together. I should close with this on my shows i'm bombing here it's unbelievable like and it's it you know and it's like other stuff too like um you know like slime and then what's the slime one what is that the slime one oh boy it's not real

slime no but remember when people used to get slimed up? Was it Nickelodeon or something? Somebody playing with slime, right? That's it? 3.1 million. Look at the one above it. 74 million views. You see that? What is that?

What is he actually playing with? It's just playing with slime. This is the video. Holy shit. 74 million views. Is it supposed to put you at ease? I don't know. Is it supposed to calm you?

No, it's just supposed to keep you dumb so that they can raise taxes and replace teachers. Yeah, wow. Look at that. Is it maybe that it's just such a lack of... Interaction? I mean, you don't really have to expect anything from it 74 minutes you know how

sad it is to watch this with your niece yeah and then move over to your page I'm like how do I get these kids over here well when I was a kid I remember my parents being like get out of the house like they would push me out then they would be like you can't come back for whatever and it was weird but you made it work yeah I feel like that now there's just so many options that it's why would you go outside it's making you lonelier like kids are going to be much lonelier now because that forced interaction that forced discomfort it made us better listeners yes but then you see now on the phone it's like we've all done the phone stuff too much you never feel good after it no no i put this when you do you have the screen

time thing where you see i can't i'm terrified to look painful it's so the other day i was like no wonder you don't have anything in life this is it right here you dedicated your life to the internet the worldwide do you really feel that way you have really there's a lot of screen time. I could have written two movies in the last year with all the money, all the time that I spent on the internet. It's addictive. It is.

And they make it addictive. They know how to program it to where you keep watching. It's no different than a video game. You ever just play a video game too much and then when you're done, you're like, that was nothing. Zilch. I just did nothing. Yeah.

I rotted my brain. And look, sometimes I'll like do it when I'm drunk or something, get home. Like at 2 a.m., what else am I going to do? Am I going to sleep yet? But when you actually, you ever play the video games during the day and you're just like, why? I just feel so unproductive. You can't even touch it during the day.

Yeah, you can't. But if you have gym weights, you know, versus phone, it's just so much easier. Ah, fuck it. It's too right there. It's just boom. It's open. Everything in here, almost everything is a bad decision. Yeah.

When you think about it. Isn't that crazy? Whatever social media app I order, whatever food delivery service, a dating app. Everything is going to lead to me just being sad. Everything they told us not to do when we were kids. Don't get in cars with strangers. Right. You know what I mean? Don't eat food from everything they told us not to do.

We do. Look how you date on the internet. Yeah, it's all digital now. Yeah. Facebook is you talking to people you don't know. Like it's unbelievable. Talking to strangers. Don't you talking to people you don't know. Like, it's just unbelievable. Oh, talking to strangers. Oh, they don't talk to strangers.

Do you ever respond to DMs? No, because you know what? The DMs are too unpredictable. I'm waiting. I'll get it. So I used to, right? So then it'll go from, hey, I really like you. I think you're funny.

To, oh, I don't really like women comedians, but like you right then there's a guy who sent seven pictures of his dick seven different angles damn if you weren't sold on the six-pick here's an aerial shot it's like Fast and the Furious is all I had to go I tried my best not to because it's just, you never know what you're going to get. Somebody put on Facebook, do you still live on Magnolia Boulevard? Whoa.

What? Yeah, it was crazy. That's creepy. It's creepy. It's bananas on the internet. It is. You ever have that thing where you check a text? I'm just going to look at a text.

And then before you know it, it's 48 minutes have gone by because you check the text then you open another thing and it's over it's sad like you know in that adam sandler movie click yeah or like there was this movie called sliver back in the day where i love watching like old movies from the 80s and the 90s and then this movie that sharon stone was in and it's like somebody that's watching everybody in the building and they have all these monitors and you see everything that's happening in the building. And you look at that stuff and you'd be like, wow, this is crazy. That's where we are now.

Like, if you ever like go through the reels and then one part, it seems so desperate, right? Like somebody's like doing a makeup tutorial. Then somebody's twerking. Yeah. Then somebody's giving you a motivational speech. Then there's a new dance. And you just scroll and you're like,

God, we are monkeys that can talk. It's over. The dancing to me is the worst. I mean, at least the motivational speakers like trying to put something positive into the world. The dancing, I'm like, this is just for you. This is you hoping for people to be like, you're amazing. Yeah, This is you. You're hoping for people to be like, you're fucking, you're amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. What a weird mindset to think I'll dance and I'll, people will like it. No one, I would never assume people would want to watch me dance. I'm not a good dancer. It's a good assumption. Yeah. Yeah. When a white person can dance.

Oh my God. They go viral. Cause they're like, you know, like you had a big white lady who was, could get down like, and everybody was posting her videos. Yeah. Like they're impressed it's you know like you had a big white lady who was could get down like and everybody was posting her videos yeah like they're impressed that she can dance and i'm like god this is it's we all is lost well do you think that's why podcasting is insanely popular is this why because people are interacting we're having deep conversation no one does this anymore well i think talk radio for a long time was only geared towards a certain group of people.

And a lot of people want to hear your perspective. They love you. They want to hear what you have to say about other things. And now podcast gives talk radio to everybody. Not just that specific group. I used to feel like talk radio was just for like older men that were maybe over 35 yes wanted to hear about what's going on in the world like that's where the smart people used to

listen to the radio right they would be like i don't listen to music i only listen to talk right my mom was like that i was wanting to kill myself as a kid i'm like put on music it was npr all things considered yeah brutal that now i'm older i'm like, put on music. It was NPR. All things considered. Brutal. But now I'm older. I'm like, I love fresh air. I know. Same. I think it's like,

fresh air is like my favorite. Yeah, but at the time. Yeah. No, the New York Times podcast is a good one. Like, they have a really good one. The Daily? The Daily one.

It's great. It's in the top 10. Damn. You know, the top 10 podcasts in the world, four of them are about crimes. Yep. Rogan is one. They call her daddy is two. Wow. She's huge. Well, I remember that New York Times had one I particularly like called The Argument and it's different host now, but it used to be two, three people with all different opinions and they were pleasant about it.

Oh, you don't see that anymore. It's so rare to see people, because you turn on cable news, it's like, you idiot, and the, let me finish, you know, it's all that, which is just shut up for adults. Let me finish. But they were friends with different opinions where you're like, you can have that still. You can still be friends and like, you know. Yeah, we have different, you know, you think you're funny.

And you think you're funny. It's true. Exactly. So what would this podcast, oh, it's called We Might Be Drunk. Yeah. Yeah. So have you done it drunk? Many times. I mean, we have a full bar here.

I mean, yeah, but we're doing two today. So we're like, well, let's pace ourselves. Okay. Because we're on the road a lot. So when we're together, sometimes we'll do two in a day. Oh, yeah. Nice. We don't get, like, hammered.

You know, that would be bad that would be bad it's happened it's happened but it's always towards like the last 10 minutes you can tell we're slurring and kind of that's fine not mark says the n-word and i uh you know yeah exactly i worked for rogan but yeah it did it didn't affect nobody every all the stuff that happened and they were like we're gonna instead of uh taking his money we're just gonna give some money to people of color and give right right so it felt like all right you guys will get your chance to get on a podcast and say cracker cracker cracker cracker yeah cut that up will you that'll be the trailer

no we don't get really drunk. I mean, it would be terrible. I mean, it's the same when you're on stage. I mean, Mark and I have. Do you drink at shows? I used to more. It's very hard to crank out. Yeah, after I can do it.

But to crank out new material and your drink, it's very hard. And sometimes the crowd's hammered and they want you to be on their level a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And they'll send you drinks and you kind of want to be like, hey, man,. But it's like, and they'll send you drinks and you kind of want to be like, hey man, I'll have like one, but the show is going to get bad. Yes.

Oh yeah. What I do is I have the bartender send me shots of water. So they don't know. Nice. Cause they, you know, like I was doing a show with the majority of the audience with, they were all white and Mexican and Corpus Christi. Yep.

And they kept sending shots. So I just told the bartender that night, I said, listen. This is the worst gig of all time, Corpus Christi. And they kept sending shots. So I just told the bartender that night, I said, listen. This is the worst gig of all time, Corpus Christi. Yeah, just tell, put water in the shots and just say it's like a white tequila, the clear. Right. Cause I couldn't possibly.

But you look like a badass just popping those waters back. You're like, damn. Yeah, you just looking at them like, you really are idiots. Like, I fucking hate you people. You ever hated an audience? It's tough. Yeah, someone's toward the end of the show, they're shit-faced, and you're just like, I got to wrap this up. Like, there's something so delicate about the balance.

It's like that Jackie Chan movie, Legend of the Drunken Master. When he hits the perfect drunk level, he's great. But then that one, 20 minutes in, you you're like they're drunk and they're amazing but i know at like 47 minutes this is gonna turn you just know you don't want that you already know you feel it when when it's already starting oh yeah to make that turn and you're like yeah i'm gonna get out of here yeah i had a crowd in uh fort lauderd last week, and every show was great, but one show was older, rich people, and they hated everything, but they'd go, that one was good.

And that fucking drove me crazy. I wanted to snap. It's because they're calling you mediocre. It's worse than saying you suck, because then you're like, well, you're wrong, but mediocre, you're like, that could be true. Yes, you're validating every thought I've already had. And as if you need their validation.

I know. It's like, why do you come? I know. And why didn't you look me up before you came? They never do. But have you ever walked into a music venue and said, I don't know who's playing tonight. Exactly.

I'm just walking in here. It's so weird. Why do you do that with us? I know. You get Andrew Dice Clay or you can get Nanette. Yeah. Comedy's a big umbrella. I want to see Andrew Dice Nanette. That's the show I want to see.

Hickory Dickory. I had a tough year this year. I did a show. One of the Rochester shows. I was doing really well, but there's one guy in the front row and all I could think was this guy fucking hasn't smiled once. It'll drive you crazy, right? And the rest of his

table is laughing. I'm like, why is he so unhappy? I'm killing. I know. It's so funny how we focus on all the, we don't focus on all the positivity. We focus on the negative. Like we're just like that one person. That's how insecure we are.

We're like, why don't you like me? Yeah. You know, my father left me when I was six. And that's your dad. You see, I feel when I was six. And that's your dad. You see it. I feel like it. It feels like that's your dad. But statistically,

if you break it down, you're like, this is a 300 seater. There's one person here who doesn't like me. If I, if 299 out of 300 people like me,

generally, I'm doing pretty damn good. Pretty damn great. Too good, you would say. But you want to crack the nut. You're like, why,

what is wrong with you? Yes. Why aren laughing but we don't we don't remember this guy could have gotten divorced yesterday or this guy could have uh you know can't get it up or whatever he's thinking about that but we make it it must be me yeah or you could hate you though or you could hate you that's true too i hate me same we're what what uh any any venues you're playing like uh coming up that you're looking forward to yeah so that's the question right there i heard the first part i'm in san antonio at the end of the month i like lol i have a good time also san antonio is an underrated city great for great mexican i agree i have a good time in San Antonio. I'm going to Kansas City. I'm going to Detroit.

And I'm going to Peoria. Home of Richard Pryor. Yeah, and Sam Kinison. Yeah. Richard Pryor's statue. And the KKK. Are you playing? Is this Jukebox you're playing?

No, we're playing. It's a two-person show. Me and D. davis are doing it's like uh he's doing the civic center the civic center he's he's been selling out a lot yeah he's killing it i just saw him i watched the kanye doc and he's in it quite a bit oh how'd you like the doc i loved it yeah i gotta watch i love anything with an origin how did you get from here to here i love how determined he he was. And it's great. And then seeing him kind of get weird.

And they kept it all in. It's really, have you seen it? No, I'm going to watch it. It's great. I was told that when I watch it, I'm going to really learn how bad my mother was from watching it. Because he had the best mother ever. That's what I heard. Are you not close with your mom?

No, I am close with my mom. But my mom is not renting a U-Haul no to take me across country to do stand-ups i felt in love with his mom there's a scene where he's you know still a young guy and they're rapping his lyrics from a sky a school talent show he did when he was like six and his mom is she knows every lyric i'm like my mom couldn't name one joke that i've written over the years. Your mom doesn't watch it. They've come to see you though. Yeah, but they couldn't do a joke. Does your mom know?

Yeah, my mom could definitely. Oh, you and your mom know. My mom's a very good mom. She definitely knows. No, I can, you always talk about her. Yeah, no, my mom, she talks about the old jokes. Like she doesn't realize that it's a rap. Like that's not my thriller.

Don't you hate that when people yell out like old bits and you're like, I don't remember how to do it. about the old jokes. Like she doesn't realize that it's a rap. Like that's not my thriller. Don't you hate that when people yell out like old bits and you're like, I don't remember how to do that one. I don't wanna do it anymore. Totally, I've moved on. I burned that, I'm trying to write a new hour. Yeah, exactly. They don't wanna let you go. And it's an interesting place to where the audience feels

like they have so much power now. I know, I know. Well, they're more sophisticated. The audiences are more, because of podcasts, they just know comedy in a way where older crowds didn't really, because back in the day, you want to hear like inside comedy. It was like, you know, one of the, it's like on a disc.

Yes. You had to buy it at HMV or something. Yeah, that was huge. You know? Or for us. I think LA is probably one of the worst places to do standup when you're doing like the Hollywood crowds. Like if you go do the outskirts where the people are

that go to work, I hate getting off stage and somebody says, just a regular person will say, I loved your set. I got a tag for you, bitch. Ew, why? Why do you know what a tag is? I know't come to the shows no they're the worst they don't do that at hamilton either like hey aaron burr should have died i'm just in the play what so you're doing like the outskirt club not like you're talking about like laugh factory and

the improv it's like the people i mean that i think the improv more than the laugh factory has an audience that really thinks because of the wednesday shows i don't know what it is comedy juice those people were there every week yeah and they love comedy in a way where they think they they know the terminology right they're just it's they don't some of them don't they're not laughing that's funny and i'm like when you scared, do you ever say that's scary? No, you just get scared. I hate those people, right? But they're, they think they know comedy. They just, they really do.

So I like going, Long Beach has, the Long Beach Laugh Factory always has like a working class audience. They come there to laugh. They don't come there to, you know, write a bit for me. Right, right. But I like those off places too. I do too. In LA. I mean, the outskirt cities, people are always like, why are you in that city?

I'm like, because they fucking laugh. Yeah, and they like jokes. Because to be only doing certain markets, then you're only connecting to that type of person. And our job is to connect. Our job is to be entertain entertainers so why are you limiting yourself to who you can entertain it's it's an insane thought process and a little elitist it's very elitist but also it's like yeah yeah also some of those smaller cities have the best clubs yeah oh yeah madison wisconsin's not a huge city that's a great club i was just in rochester that's a great club yeah rochester new york well i'll tell you comedy was sad when uh people who didn't believe in vaccinations and masks couldn't come to the

shows because they're the ones that laugh i know they're the best laughers am i am i right they're not in their head like was that funny or problematic i can't tell no they just be right they just fucking laugh yeah they're they're like, fuck science. Those are the people. That's why I said I need balance. I can't just have a bunch of people who love that. It's an elitist. It's a lot of people who've gone to college, have opportunities, have learned a lot of things, and then they come back and judge the people who haven't had the opportunity right that level of education and expect you to

catch up and that's a hard thing like you want me to be right where you are when you just went and spent half quarter of a million dollars on an education and I was working at a financial firm as an assistant like how do you how do you expect me and you I got, people got mad at me because I said, I can never tell my grandmother about pronouns. She was illiterate. She didn't know what a pronoun was. You know what I mean?

Like, I could never tell. In Spanish, you tell your grandmother, I'm not Aida anymore. I'm nosotros. You know? She would be like, call the doctor. This bitch is schizophrenic. Like, we gotta get it, it's the truth. We could never like, and for me to, I'm not gonna throw my grandmother away

because she has issues. Like she, that's the time she grew up in. We do have more in common. And it's like, we talked about the phone before, that you see, we gravitate toward negative comments. But then when you're in person, sometimes we do it with that one guy. But when you really look at the the grand just everything around us it's like no we're more connected than we're not like we do it more in common

and entertainment like laughing together is it's the best it's really awesome i know but that that pronoun stuff bugs me because they're like hey that's insensitive and i'm like well so is calling me a racist or a bigot like that's insensitive and you can ruin my career also yeah so it's weird that they're like all about sensitivity and empathy but I'm like you're the meanest person I know you're ruining my life you know it's funny cuz um I was I did Bill Mars podcast oh wow it was cool you know know, Bill is Bill. Big pothead. Bill is 66 years old. So he has a very different perspective than a lot of us.

And that is an excuse. You know, he's also rich and I can relate to him on a lot of things, but I can still have a conversation with him because I mean, I like to think that I'm able to have a conversation with a person that doesn't want me dead. You know what I mean? I'm like, I don't. And I think Bill, he's cool with me, but we were talking about like the differences of,

you know, where you are in your life. Like how, you know, I have no idea what it's like to be Will Smith, Chris Rock. You know, I don't have that kind of money. But it's like, we were talking about how ageism is the one acceptable ism. So true. Right, like nobody defends older people.

Like, shut your old ass up is what they do on Instagram. Or for me, like I'll block you if you call me auntie, cause I'm not fucking related to you. And that's a microaggression. That's you trying to tell people I'm older than you and trying to call me old on the slide. And a boomer or some shit. But then you look at their pages, and those are the advocates.

Those are the ones. Exactly. Words hurt. That's what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. But you can call me old, right? But I can't call you soft?

Yeah, your thing's okay, but when I do it, I'm a dick. But you're not a dick, you know? So we do it all the time. We go, hey, Lena Dunham's fatham's fat as hey that's fat shaming well chris christie's fat as you got that right it's like well if you care so much about fashion you gotta you gotta go all the way with it you can't just pick and choose not that i'm a fan of either of them yeah but they're equally as funny you know what i respect the people that can say that. Like, who was it? They were shaming somebody the other day on the internet.

And I was like, uh-uh. You got to stand up for that guy. Like, you can't have it both ways. If you saying that this is not okay, then it's not okay for the person you don't like either. Right? If you don't want to fat shame, you don't want to be homophobe, you don't want to be homophobe you don't want to be transphobic you can't just it can't just be the people you like right and that you see that a lot online yes for sure that's why it's fun to agree with someone who you normally wouldn't agree with when you see someone on the internet and you're like i have not a lot

of common with this person but we're on the same just finding one because then you're like oh well we are when you focus on the things we have in common, you just feel better about life. You know what I mean? But nuance, we're devoid of nuance. The thing is- Yeah, especially on the internet. Yeah, you can't be, so even like now your team, and I said I don't know what I was gonna talk about it,

but I'm gonna talk about this. You're the team Will or team Chris. And I saw people use that terminology. I'm team Chris. And I'm like, what are y'all gonna do? What'd you say? I used it for Chris. No, but what I'm saying,

what are y'all gonna do when they make up though? Like the people who are like killing each other on the internet, like what are you gonna do? You can still say what he said was insensitive to her, whether he knew she had alopecia or not. We know that it was insensitive. And at the same time, say it wasn't cool for him to slap him

on. But you can't do that anymore. Yes. That's what I'm saying. It's got to be a bin. That's two sentences. That's tough. Yes. Two sentences versus two words. Two words is bam, quick, right? No, I agree with that. And it gets to the point where it's like

you don't want to say anything anymore if you're intelligent. It's the dummies who's, ah! You know, fuck babies in China. Like, those are the people that you, but if you're smart, you're like, there's no winning in this situation. Yeah, I'm staying out. It's fanaticism.

It's me versus you. It's pretty much the same as me going, fuck the Celtics, which I do. Yeah. You know, but I mean, it's like, go Knicks, fuck the Celtics. Like, that's the, it's the versus you it's it's pretty much the same as me going fuck the celtics yeah which i do yeah you know but i mean it's it's like go nicks fuck this like that's the it's the same mindset but now with everything but that's what's great about sports is we've we have those tribalism in those qualities in us but sports puts it on like a surface level it's all fun every now and then a guy will get beat up for being a jets fan fan at the whatever game. But it's like, you watch a game, it's three hours, you go home.

You know, it's not, this is like, this whole shit now is like so, it's like tribal, all in. This is my whole personality, this is my whole life. The sports thing, you're in, you're out. Yeah. Yeah, I think having a black president in this country really messed people's heads up.

Really? I think, yeah you you guys are the thing about comedians is that we're like the blue collar workers of the entertainment business until we make it so we have this camaraderie because we all join each other and struggle yes no matter where you come from comedy will humble you yeah right because they'll be like all right you know you got money you got got a trust fund. All right, but here's where you sign up for the open mic. But when you are not part of something like that, it's very different. But when I know people who were white that were like, they could not accept the fact that they never thought it was going to happen in their lifetime. And they were

like, the thought of a black man being above them just messed their heads up and there was just it and it was people of color who felt that way too that were like wait a minute what we we know everybody kept saying though why do you think they felt that they never be because nobody believed that that would ever happen chris rock had a bit you ain't never gonna see a black president yeah not in not in my lifetime. And that was like, what, 1998, he said that? Yeah, people didn't believe it would ever happen. And then when it happened, that's when people started assembling their crews. Right.

You know, where everybody was like- Well, that's where it started with Trump. It was the birther stuff, right? That's where Trump really started his campaign. So that's an interesting point. Yeah, because they wanted, they needed a reason to invalidate him because he would, and a lot of people felt like that. People were like, he's not supposed to be above me.

Right. You know, like how, how is that possible? Like that was the, you know, it was just, and that's when it really started getting crazy. That's funny. I hear him speak and I'm like, he's way above me. I know. That's not my reaction at all. Yeah.

But you know, it's the, it's, it's. And the fact that he could play basketball too. I'm like, oh, this is a no. Like, he's way above me. I know. That's not my reaction at all. Yeah, but you know, it's the, it's, it's. And the fact that he could play basketball too. I'm like, oh, this is a no. Like, he's like really cool. It's not fair. But it's not us though. It's the people like, the people that you're talking about are the people who are mad that they couldn't finish high school.

And he went to Harvard. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And it just, it just messed people's head up. And that's when it really started. Donald Trump just put the icing on the cake. Oh, yeah. Well, I take comfort in the fact that Obama's half white.

Well, it definitely was like a total swing. We talk about how everything in this country is like it swings one way, it swings the other. I mean, you can't swing any further from Obama to Trump. Right, right. So then you look at entertainment. Mark and I were talking about sex comed comedies how like they there's a where they can be like you know filthy and then they swing to being like you know culturally a little more buttoned up right everything swings and like you know and then you swing and now we're back to we're biden we're like

well that's not i don't know what to make of this this hasn't swung all the way back yet so which worries me is like maybe it's going to swing really hard in the next election. It was the country was desperate, though. That's why Joe Biden got everybody. And it wasn't because I think the average American was exhausted. Oh, yeah. Because it was all we talked about was Trump and not Americans. And it was all day long. And that's why people didn't show up and vote for him

that would normally vote for the Republican Party because they were like, this is, people who have dignity, you know, like average people, you know your families that are, they have good sense. They were like, we can't do this again. This is a clown fest at this point. I think January 6th was like really the icing on the cake. Yeah, I shouldn't have done that.

But you look good in the paint. Thank you. I didn't think it was real when somebody sent me a link. I know. I saw somebody scaling the building, and I was like, they look so good. I knew it was real because I get all my news from Kevin Sorbo. Hercules. No, it was crazy crazy wasn't he there no

but uh yeah no it's been a crazy few years but uh i heard a comic mike roland have a great joke the other night about how people would trump's followers would literally die for trump they would and then like think about biden's followers if he asks you for a ride to the airport, you'd be like, Oh, that was such a great turn. It's funny. It's a truth. It's a cult. Like you see those people, uh, what's his name?

Um, what's the guy that was on the daily show that would go out and interview the Trump people. Yeah. The funniest videos ever. Like when Obamacare, they were like, he was like, how do you feel about Obamacare? And the man was like, I hate it.

I think it's un-American and it should go. And they were like, what about the Affordable Care Act? And he was like, yeah, that's what we need. It's the same thing. And he did a great video.

They didn't even know. They just hated Obama. Right, exactly. You know what I'm saying? But it was the same thing. But it's just, multiply that by a great majority of the people. And it sounds bad, but it's true.

It's like they don't have good textbooks. Teachers don't get paid as much. They got 45 kids in a classroom. That's where we are now, right? But we got all the bombs that we need. All you need is one to end the world, right? Yeah, yeah. Or what we know, but that's, and these are the people now who are weighing in on politics.

Obama made people who, white people who never cared about voting, they're like, we not letting that happen again. And they showed up. They were like, we're gonna get that. So maybe in the end, it's good for the country, right? Cause it's like, well, more people are gonna vote. More people voted than ever. Maybe it's good for the country, right? Because it's like, well, more people are going to vote. More people voted than ever.

Maybe it's all this terrible stuff is actually long-term good for America, right? But should everyone be voting? More people voting sounds good, but that's also more psychos voting. So it's tough. It's tough to say. I think we just need better politicians. Our politicians aren't great. I think this will be like our dark ages.

I think so too. They're going to look back and they're going to be like, there was a time when- Until we wrap up the podcast. I think everything's going downhill and we're all going to die. No, I think it'll get better. But I think they'll look back at us. Because I think technology, we haven't reached a balance with technology

where we're thinking for ourselves. And we're going to have to, at some point, find balance because we've gotten advanced technologically. But as human beings, we've gone backwards. Agreed. And technology is going so fast. We can't keep up. We're trying to keep up. And we're really embarrassing ourselves.

Oh, the thing about the politicians we're going to have in 20 years is going to be videos like, this douchebag is not one of you. He was doing TikTok food challenges on his. I know, right? Like think about the footage. There's too much. There's footage of like there's a blackface photo of Trudeau. Yeah. Like 20 years ago when there weren't that many photos.

Think about the ammo there's going to be on politicians in 20 years. This lady's running. I have your butt all on OnlyFans. 10 years ago. And you've got my vote. It's a good butthole. Yeah, yeah. Some great buttholes out there.

You got to do what you got to do, folks. I didn't even think about that. But the TikTokers. Oh, yeah. It's all over. It's all out there. Yeah, because everybody's got a page or a profile. It's over.

It's over. And then we need to forget. We always forget or act like that everybody... We forget everybody's got a page or a profile. It's over. It's over. And then we need to forget. We always forget or act like that everybody... We forget everybody's flawed. We've all done dumb shit, said dumb shit. So to hold somebody to one dumb thing they said, oh, you said retard in 1999. We can't have you around.

You're like, I don't know. Is that the end of the world? Is he going to judge my whole character based on that yeah they even they even called me a retard in 1999 yeah are you going to go get those people like yeah exactly it is it you know you know who's evil you know who hates people you know who's hateful and that's why i say that there are some people that make mistakes and we didn't how many times have they changed the word right it went from retarded to developmentally delayed oh wow that's the term to open micr it's an excellent one no but uh you know it's interesting i saw this uh local news story this woman her son got murdered and then she forgave

the murderer. Like she was like, there's nothing more. And by the way, I guarantee this woman's not on Twitter. That's not that's not a person who's on Twitter. This is someone who like went deep inside themselves to really be like, oh, my God. Like, you know, this is horrible. I hate like I but like letting go of that and like and we're fighting over words. I know.

I know. Like people can. It's been said to death, but people can bounce back, I think. I think forgiveness is a good thing. It's for you. It's for you because you're the one walking around harboring. And the thing about us when people come for us is they don't give a shit. They just trying to get retweeted.

They want to get likes. They, a lot, they are making money. Like a lot of people who are, I'm here for the cause. They got shirts. They're selling merch. That's true. It's become, you know, like they are entertainers online. A lot of them are performative.

And they're making money off of it. Oh, yeah. They have on their bio for booking inquiries emailed this person. Right. Then you go see them and they suck you're like oh yeah because i only knew about them because they they tweeted about some shit and why you want to hear that person talk for an hour right what do you have to say but that's the world we live in now i know i know i hate it ronnie chang had that great joke he's like hopefully twitter will look

back at it like cigarettes you know like you used Twitter while you were pregnant? Holy shit. That's such a great bit. It sums it all up. He's got a new Netflix special. Look out for him. Oh, does he? I mean, by the time, this is out in a couple weeks,

so it should be out by then. Yeah, he's great. Oh, he has a new one? Yeah, yeah. He's funny. We should probably wrap up, right? Oh, geez. All right. Dude, great to have you here.

So happy. Oh, that's so much fun. That was great. Plug some road dates. You got, as you said you have uh san antonio coming up san antonio um i'll be at the san jose improv uh the dc comedy loft so um i have the ontario improv improv punchline san francisco july 27th love that room me too because the people who are woke do not come to the show.

But you can go to funnyida.com. And then on May 6th, I have an animated movie coming out. Whoa. That's great. So I'm excited about that because I've never done anything on a larger scale than a comedy set. That's great. Well, they'll take that away from you when you control it. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, no.

You know, every week I just tell on myself. Every week I tell people oh I said this In 07 I let people know in advance now Cause I'm tired of people coming for me I should also say when I was 16 I fucked a 16 year old girl So I just want to make that common knowledge

Both 16 Girlfriend It's over for you dude I know I'm fucked Alright I'm all over the place as well my website's a little wacky uh who knows where the hell i'll be by april 24th keep going oh you went back up there we go keep going keep going hey the addison improv denver colorado calusa california all kinds of good stuff. That's Dallas,

basically. Bricktown in Oklahoma City and San Jose. Stand Up Live in Huntsville. That could be tough. Minneapolis, Minnesota, Chicago. You know it. MarkNormanComedy.com. Cleveland, Irvine. Where are you going to be at, Fetty? Brea Improv.

LA, I'm doing. What else? There you go uh nashville uh albany uh toronto added a show there uh what else we got uh providence special taping in chicago come on out tampa cleveland you get the gist houston all that shit west palm rescheduled because of my covid from orlando sorry about that uh yeah buffalo san jose all over love you guys we might be drunk pod.com for merch all that they got the koozies got the glasses uh patreon patreon.com slash we might be drunk pod we love you and check out all right is uh hbo and netflix hbo max fighting Words. Yes. And then episode three

on Day Ready on Netflix. There it is, folks. Awesome. You heard it here first. Thank you so much for coming in. No, thanks for having me.

Great talking to you. This was great. Sunday's the day for my neck spender. A bit of Pivorette. You know the beer juice close. I've had a little too much bourbon

and Norman's talking shit about the fucking pump And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like the cops are coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way

We might be true