We Might Be Drunk - H. Foley & Kevin Ryan w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Garbage Podcast

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Are You Garbage hosts H. Foley and Kevin Ryan join Mark and Sam for a hilarious and unexpectedly honest episode. Mark reveals his new hair transplant, Foley opens up about relapse, recovery, and rebuilding his life, and the guys get into Shane Gillis, Billy Joel, celebrity kids, weight-loss drugs, bad plastic surgery, and the questionable choices that make someone truly garbage. H. Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/Kevin Ryan: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/Are You Garbage: https://areyougarbage.com/Are You Garbage on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AreYouGarbage Sponsored by: Prepare for a night out with ZBioticshttps://www.zbiotics.com/drunk — code DRUNK for 15% off Make your picks with UnderdogDownload the Underdog app Start your free Shopify trialhttps://www.shopify.com/drunk Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com@GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #AreYouGarbage #HFoley #KevinRyan #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We get a sneak peek here? Well, I'll show you off. It's so gnarly. We'll get deleted off YouTube. We monetized. Yeah, it's not as bad as you're saying. Faces of death. Yeah.

So for the folks at home, got the hair surgery, got the soda, the Mateo, the Hamilton, the list goes on. But nobody's doing pods. Are they all out? Yeah. Oh. For the hair thing? I know, I know Mateo and... Mateo came out twice.

Wait, Hamilton. It could come out one more time. Good question on Hamilton. Maybe bleep Hamilton. No, he doesn't care. I'm sure it's fine. Did this come of the Joel McHale episode? Because we had Joel McCale on the show, and Joel, Mark asked him about the hair transplant.

Oh, I saw. I get all bald content. My algorithm knows I'm thin, maybe. Shaneo Connors is background. It's our most viral clip ever. You're not going to like? Weird. We just wrap it up.

We can always edit. Go weird. So, I'm 41. Uh-huh. And I am going to do the hair. Just touch me when you said. Sorry. It's going to be a weird question.

He kind of hated us. He touched my shoulder. No, that's his body. Okay, okay. All right. So, I'm going to do the hair transplant. Why? How weird?

Well, we have the internet. We can see Kimmel. We can see Seth McFarlane. Everybody. Everybody. And your hair looks amazing. Yeah, I'm fully bald. This is, yeah.

Okay. I didn't want to broach it. Four. Four? Yeah. I did it way back right when it was a string. Got a kidney, too. Painful.

Yeah. Don't do this work. Okay. The back of the hair strip. You're talking. So that's where they totally from? No. There's two ways to do it.

They can just go from the shave. You shave the side in the back, which I did, as you can see. And they put it up here. This looks like your Make-A-Wish podcast. And then, or you can do the strip. Ladies you gentlemen, Michael Jackson. Yeah, so they took it all from the back. Eight-hour surgery, in a dentist chair.

They watched Emily and Paris the whole time. They did it. What? What? They don't knock yet? They knocked me out. They gave me two Ambien and two Xanax, and I was out. We had to rewatch Emily and Paris. Would you get this under the barber's shop? That's what they gave you, two Ambien?

I know. It's great. I was in and out the whole time. I caught a little bit of Emily. Damn. Great program, by the way. Fun show. Is it a good show? Yeah, why not? Yeah, she's cute. She's hot. She's cute. Yeah, yeah. But the upkeep is way worse. What's upkeep? Two Epsom salt baths every day. Two shampoos a day. I got to massage the back with a cream. I got to put an aqua gel in there. I got to sleep on my back. You're like a real housewife right now. It's a nightmare.

I've never seen you like this. I feel bad for... You're very deep poofed. I'm not Moved. Norman. Norman? I'm not Norman. Yeah.

This is a different year. This is crazy. I'm in hell. The upkeep. I don't shower. I rarely shave. I don't wipe my ass. I don't wash my hands.

So this is a nightmare for me. I don't know what the ass wiping had to do with that. I was just, I was adding stuff. I was heightening. Buddy. But yeah. That's hell, man. It's hell. You're gorgeous.

How many days out are we? Third day. Whoa. Were you in Turkey? No. Guy in New York does it. Really? It ain't cheap.

Right by the Guggenheim. Can I get a number? Sure. You got a good here. No, no. I know how much. I know how much. Oh, I see.

I see. A number? I don't know. $4.50? 325, baby. You're down. You're down. You're down.

A little. Are you on the needle or now? No, I'm just working out in Eaton right. Yeah, I'm on the fucking needle. What are you nuts? This is all bone marrow I lost. Are you kidding me? I told the doctor I was doing.

He's like, you're doing podcast? And I'm like, well, wait, I got eight sold-out shows in Pittsburgh this weekend. He's like, that's insane. You got to cancel, but I'm going. Was there like that? Well, are you a lot of like sweating something? No, can't, can't sweat. Can't cry.

You're going to be up there shucking and jiving. I don't shuck. I don't juck. Never shucks. I know. Keep the AC real load. Yeah, I'm going to go black guy stool. Why can't you, why do they say not to be active?

Because you can't sweat. You can't sweat and you can't get the heart up. You better do well on stage. Oh, my God, you're right. The pilot's not in the audience. Doctors in the audience. I was a real turkey out there. Were you able to, knowing you,

did you try to finagle a little free ad? I did, yeah, that's why I'm talking about it now. I'm wearing that. I'm wearing the hat. His name is Carl. Oh, let's go. Carlos Wesley. He's great.

He did Mateo and Soder. Did you really get a deal on this? We're working on it. I came up with a car. coupon. But if you get a back end. If you get a reference,

you get a cheaper deal. Let's go. Well, hit me up. All right. I can't do it. Just take time off. He said it sucks. This part sucks.

Yeah, which I'm like, I'm sold on. It's hell. It is hell. Dude, I'm fucking pretty successful. I'm married. I got the kid. I got, it's like, I don't know.

You wear it well. I got curly hair. It's different. I'm a youthful guy. You're an old commodgum. This has been happening a little while. Right. Well, you're like you, you, you work with it well.

Sure. I like this. You, you're ugly. I'm attractive. I could be in the movies. Can I say this? Please. I never, I'm shocked.

I never noticed anything. He's complained about it for like 15 years to me, and I never noticed. When it's wet, it's bad. Oh, yeah. It's bad. Again, curly, you can do some fluffing. Yeah. But if I was straight, wait a minute.

Were you doing the pills and stuff in the create? Like, were you doing any? I'm doing fanasteride. The pill. The pill, which keeps it. Sounds like a roller coaster. It doesn't grow a fact, though. Yeah.

I was shocked when you sent me the photo. Did you know anything about this? No, he told me, Peters was like, Mark has an elective procedure, and I was like, what? I was like, is he getting fake tits? What the hell? I don't even know what's going on.

So then I reached out, you okay? So, yeah, I didn't know. He's talked about it for years. I had to wear a turban. They give you a bandage because your whole head's all bleeding. Don't fly with it.

that. And I got an Uber and the guy gave me one of these. Never forget? There it is. That's my driver. Holy shit. Did you plan that?

No, it's Uber. That's Doug Key in a turban. The Setsuan candidate. Look at you. You should have this procedure on 9-11. Also, you have the same shirt on in the picture.

I know. I've got to wear a button down. I've been wearing this for three days. Why do you have to wear a button down? Because you can't pull over the head. You have to dress like a Turkish guy? I'm trying to grab an ice cream. I'm selling Cologne.

Wow. That's fucking... Your head was fucking red. Oh, it hurts. You look like a Native American at the end of a John Wayne film. Can I say this from... You look good with a high and tight.

You look good. I've never seen your hair that close. Oh, thanks. Yeah. I had to buzz it. But it hurts. So what's the timeline? About 10 days, I'll be all right.

But then how long you were in a hat? They're scabbing. It's like, it's a pretty brutal process. What are you doing that? It's bad. It's bad. You already did it. Well, I'm not wearing a hat at home. You're not really supposed to wear a hat.

That's why I got a high hat because I got to keep the... Did they give you the high hat? They give you the high hat with the sides open. Is your head completely shaved right now? No, no. The top still has some hair. Okay. But it's all wonky and wet and gross.

It's got chemicals in it. But I took the hat off with the kid and he gave me one of these. That's like when the dad shaves his beard. That's got to be 10 times worse. Way where hopefully he forgets, blocks it out. But he ran away. He's pretty young. Yeah, yeah, he's young.

Damn, dude. You got another one on the way? Yeah. Graduation. Gratz. I just saw a picture of you down the beach somewhere. Yeah. That was Nantucket.

Went to Dan Tucker for the week. You said it's unreal. It's unbelievable. I get it now. You go into water? Yeah, I went in the water. I don't go in the water up there. You don't go in the water?

Jaws. That cold Atlantic? No. You're finding sharks everywhere. You beach. They just put... You don't swim. I got to blow me up.

They just found a shark in the Hudson. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, geez. I was on a wave runner. Mennican. It's a lone shark. Yeah, the sharks are going crazy right now. I'm out of there. How many sharks do people kill people a year? Take a guess.

It's like five. It's crazy. It's single digit. It's less than police. I'd rather it kill me than have to go through that experience and then... Are you kidding? You get the story. I'm more scared of the gators than the sharks. Gators are no joke. Where are you hanging out? Well, I have a gator bit. It's like an eight-minute bit.

So if I died the hands of a gator, it's ironic. Good point. I don't want that. Good point. You're even going out with a joke. That's pretty good. That's a true comedian. Saltwater crocodiles.

I don't like them. The United States averages roughly one shark attack fatality every two years. That's nothing. That's half a death of the year it says. That's all stigma. That's bullshit. I guarantee that's a lie. Remember the mayor in jaws?

He wanted to keep the beaches open. I'm telling you right now, that's a fucking cover up. It's way more than that. People just disappear in the ocean. They say, oh, a riftide got him. Shark. For sure. Give me that?

Give me that. That's a closed case. And that's deaths. How many people get like a? bite you see people like missing a little chunk here right a thousand human deaths each year whoa but that's wrong why yeah but where yeah where is this happening yeah that's in africa and shit that's in tallah house that's that's town they're people where is it I'm saying there's still people and when they showed up with a raft around full and we're gonna need a bigger boat

how many shark attacks annually worldwide fatal crocodile attacks are not occur in the United States and don't think we have crocodiles we have alligators right we got gators we got gators south America they're probably getting those Floridians left and right. Yeah. How many alligator deaths? Dozens over the last several decades. They end up in the pool and shit.

You never see a shark in a pool. Shark in a pool. See a lone shark in a pool. There you go. Loper pool. That's a lot of wordplay. Dolly! By the way,

R. IP, Dolly. Let's get it out of the way. Good shout out of this. Beloved by everybody. Beloved. Belove. Yeah. Legend.

This is how you know Dolly was beloved. She's a big-titted, blonde, hot chick, and women still like her. Wow. Classy broad. Classy. Gave a lot of money away. Could have had way more money. Could have had to the book club.

What a nice eulogy. Well, she was a great singer too, Salish. Let us build. Let us build to this. Yeah, we're building. Great songwriter. So many bangers. Jolene?

Jolene, 9 to 5. 9 to 5? So many bangers. The best tweet I saw was it was that rap bitch Jolene who did it. I don't know who posted that, but hold that up. Give the person credit. Really good.

I saw great. 80's not old enough. I know. I can't believe she was only 80. I didn't Biden beat her. And Trump. I don't know when this goes out. Tim Curry just died.

I saw that too. What a day. A lot of the Home Alone 2 cast. Oh yeah. That guy ruined the lady. You know what this sucks for is Haley Hayden Pettieri. She was the dead hot lady for a while. That's the third.

But not the guys that. These things come in threes. Oh, geez. You're right. That's the third. You should name be the vacuum At Henry underscore sucks S-U-X. All right, good tweet.

Good tweet. You got to get in right when it's hot. That's the key. Comedy's all about timing. Thank you. So I've heard. Speaking of comedy, you killed it in tires. Oh, thank you, buddy. Dude, it got like 600 million views. Thank you.

You're a good actor. Thanks, buddy. You've always been a good actor. Thank you. Habitual liar, so. He's been acting his whole life. Because I'm playing a scumbag. Definitely the best season. and Sodor has a great role.

You kill it. Pope kills it. Stavi. Stavi's on five. The whole squad. The boner in the van. I mean, it's killer. We were just talking earlier. The monologue that Kyla Fox delivers in that scene

where she's yelling at the old volleyball team. Oh, yeah. She's incredible. She's incredible. She's great. Everybody's amazing. Gervin, the chemistry between Gervin and Gilly, amazing, McKeever, everybody.

McKeever's become this, like, serious comedy director. Oh, yeah. We were just talking about it. He had it when we were in open mics in film. Yes. Dude, he was shooting stuff that we were like, and we were like, we always said, we were like rubbing two sticks together

to come up with like a fucking bad Mentos sketch. Yeah. And then he would put these things together that would go viral in like a weekend. Well, he and Tommy Pope were this close to having that Comedy Central show. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

What was that called? Delco proper. That's funny. It was good. It was amazing. Yeah. I did the funeral with the kid in the lacrosse thing. Yeah.

I did helium back in. I don't know, 2016, and he was my opener. And I was like, who's this fat, bearded pussy? Killer. He came in with a track jacket on. He looked like a wrestling coach. Murdering. Every night, I couldn't follow him.

And then he just doesn't do stand-up. Yeah. He's one of those guys that's, like, so good. And then he's just like, yeah, I just don't like it. And I remember being like, what? Yeah. Brilliant actor, brilliant comedian, brilliant director. That's great.

Yeah. Yeah. Triple threat. Shout out to the dancer. I could see that. I don't know. Okay. What did you say?

It's a hell of a dancer. He could move. Johnny Mac's a great-looking kid. Yeah, he's underrated-looking. Pull him up if you can. John McKeever. Johnny Mac. Yeah, how's that feel?

I mean, are you getting DMs? You're getting hit up by the ladies? No. What? D-Ms? There he is. Look at him. Yeah, rugged guy.

Yeah, rugged masculinity. He's got like a Slater vibe. Christian Slater or something. He's the best. We all started together. Isn't that crazy? Philly. Well, Shane told me, you know, he was very famous.

getting a lot of nice ladies swarm in the DM. But he said once tires came out, it was like here to here. It was just crazy celebrities, athletes, you know, you name it. Angel Reese, whatever. Britney Griner. And he still responds to text. And he does respond. Shane's a good text responder.

He is. A lot of your friends, some of your friends get a little big. That's true. And they're like, and I get it. He doesn't call me back. But Shane's a good text responder. The only problem is he quit drinking hard. he got it with something

you ain't got to pull it in a little bit everybody's X she's a psycho he's pushing he's pushing 40 you can't do it forever man hey it was all my I'm 42 I got a heroin of a 20 year old what are you talking about

yeah but he was going on another level get them Yeager bombs back in here he was going hard that's the thing is like you and I always kind of connected over the fact that like I never want to have to quit sure he's drinking at it

like there was like 18 bud lights in a sitting well we did protect our parks and we all went out for DeRosa's celebration because he got a Netflix special shout out to Shout after Joey DeRosa. Great special.

Amazing entire as well. Yes. And Shane was like 12.30. He's like, all right, boys. I'm packing it in. We're like, what? You're paying for everything. The check hasn't come.

My wallet's gone. I didn't know that. I know he's pulling back. Well, he's still drinks. He's just not a psycho like the rest of us. I'm off the booze. Yeah. Sobies.

Big man's off the sauce. You too. Still on the French fries, though. All right. You don't say. Yeah, I'm done. You get older. You get to choose.

I guess so. He's got a. Unhealthy food. Yeah, and he's busy as fuck. Yeah, that's true. That's true. You make me want to drink the most. Why?

Because you're a good drinker. Thank you, man. Yeah. I try. I'm, I, I, I, I take pride in the fact that I'm a good drinker. Yeah. You don't want to be bad energy when you drink. You're the one that says being in a New York bar in the winter.

Yeah. Walking outside and feeling that cold, crisp air hit you. I romanticized it. I romanticize like a good cocktail, a good drink. You see, even say cocktail good. Yeah. There's something good to it. around the winter.

They got bar like patties or something. You pile it. It's already buzzing, but like there's enough place to, it's crowded, but you can still move. You're not waiting for a drink. And then you, like, bundle up with the crew. And you go, like, oh, let's go. We're walking to the stand or whatever. You all, like, mozy on that way.

It feels like that good fella scene. They're all hanging out. Lafanza. Lafanza. Sorry. Talking about the coffee company? I've never seen the movie. Is it an airline?

What is it? Lufanza. What did I say? Bavanza. It's the hair plugs. I want a lot of medication. Take an ambient like a fucking rosanne over here. Really?

You give any pain pills? Yeah, I went through them in like 10 minutes. My man. Are you really out of pain pills? I'm out of pain pills. What did you? Perkinsed? Just those crazy Tylenols.

You know those... Tadolin with codeine? Yeah. That's what they gave you? I know! What the fuck's going on in here? Should you have like perks or something? Yeah.

At least. At least. Something. Viking and something. Give you a light bulb and a bag of meth. Something. Fucking. the edge of what are we doing this Alex you guys had fucking eight hours surgery you give me a fucking tunnel all with Codine took the subway home baby

oh yeah well and who was that guy the taxi driver that was a different ride that was a good couple of beers you took this subway home yeah no you did now I'm joking must have been an expensive procedure you ever see the pictures from the flights from Turkey yes there's like 50 bald guys all all the Viter's got a great bit about it yeah he's on he's on the plane he's to come back through Turkey, and he looked like the only guy who, like, went there and got cold feet. I don't want to do it, man. My friend of the turkey came back swollen.

Dude, they swell up to, like, it looks like you look like Megamind. It's crazy. Yes, exactly. I'd be so afraid of swelling up, and then I panic. All right easy. He's right here. If you swell up, take the SATs again. See how you do.

They're calling it Turkish hairlines. Hey. That's a good bit. Who's saying that? Who's saying that hot chicks? What do you want from these guys? You're trying to get fucking their shit together. That's bullshit.

That's gold. That's... Dolly could have thought of it. Dolly, we miss you. Only in Turkey. Full flights. Somebody offered us. The flights out, put up, and his, like, dad owns the biggest one in Turkey or something.

And he's like, I'll do the hair for free. Wow. They just want it. They're just fans. They want to do that. I guess. And I think if you probably say, you know... I'm going to stay to the Middle East for a little while.

I know. Yeah. I'm like, I can do it in now. I do want to go to Turkey, though. Go to his time. DEM Bull. Sure. That's crazy.

I would, I would, oh my God. If you woke up like that. Are you still doing Pittsburgh? Yeah. Yeah. I got to make this hair transplant.

You just got to commit to being a super villain. That's like when you put the rubber bands around a watermelon to see if it blows up. I know, right? Jesus. You got to walk around doing a lot of these. I got a pet a cat. I'll get you, Morrell. And you too, Soutak Hughes.

He's wearing a cock ring. Look at that. That is. It didn't get better. Oh, my God. It's crazy. It looks like his son. glasses are under there somewhere.

Look at that shit. They sewed them in there. That is brutal. The doctor's in the parking lot going, wait it. My blue blockers. That is crazy. Wow. They seem rough in Turkey.

Yeah, what, I mean, how much money are they bringing into Turkey? They must be killing it just because of the hair thing. Oh, yeah. Because didn't, what's his face? Adams. Did he go to Turkey? Who's Adams? Mayor Adams?

Isn't he bald? Isn't he still bald? Maybe he went for some other. nefarious. What? Operations. He got in trouble going to Turkey. Oh, never mind.

I think it was using city. It did not undergo. Laser hair removal. Oh. Laser hair removal. Put turkey. And Turkey? You get that done on Long Island.

I used to do laser hair removal. Really? Yeah, I was a driver for them. Whoa. What does that do? The forefront of the industry. This is back fucking, this is before 9-11. Are we talking vaginal?

Yeah, the girls the broad would get it done. This guy that I worked for, he sold fake boobs, and he had ends with all the high-end plastic surgeons in the tri-state area. His wife worked for a laser company. They had just come out with this laser hair removal and varicose veins laser. They were too expensive to buy if you were a doctor's office. So they came up with the idea to own a company where you rent them into a doctor's office, do it once a month, knock everybody out. Fucking cleaned up. He did so well.

He got his face painted at the palm because they ate there so much. Oh my God. Yeah. How do you get rid of a very cross? That's a lot of Mughey-Eanino. I have a lot of shrimp cocktail. Yeah, you got that right. But yeah.

I have a whole new respect for fake tit ladies, nose job ladies, all that shit now. BBL? BBL, included. How many women are dying from these BBLs, though? I don't like them. I feel like there's an infant who are dying once a week from this shit. Well, they get them done in like a back alley. Yeah, that's not where you want to get a discount.

No. Your ass? Let me ask you this, Mr. Mark Norman. Please. Few things are watching somebody who's really good at stotherapy. This is actually an FDA-approved detergent and safer veins. That's AI! It provides pain relief.

I have old lady legs. I got varicose veins. Do you really? I'll get them one way to bingo. Pull them up. Yeah. You won't be able to get them too bad, but they're not great. You're like a science teacher.

I'm not going to be able to get them down now. Those poor pants. Get a, get a scissor. God damn it. Oh, boy. I can't believe you. did it, man. I know. That's a big stuff. How long were they contemplating?

Years. Years. And it takes so long, this guy's got a list like Epstein. I mean, it's just so many names and I had to wait a good two years to get it done. Really? Yeah. No shit. Finally, my number came up. So I had to take it. You were on a list for two years. Yeah.

Holy shit. Maybe a year and eight months or something like that, but it's been a while. Why is it so hard to get on? He's in demand. This guy's the best, Jerry. Is there anyone else in the city who does it? Is this who Mateo went to? Is this who? Mateo's guy. Does he carry himself like a rich doctor? He does, yeah. Good, good. A little bit of flash.

Good head of hair, nice watch, couple of rings. Tan, is he tan? An earring? An earring? No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, he's tan. What are the broads in the office like? Very high end. Let's go. And I had to make a joke after I had my bandage on. I go, all right, now time for the penile implant. And they went, we've heard that one.

You're right, ax. So on our shows, Pittsburgh. Let me ask you this. Sure. Now, this is, you did this for you to feel good, this career thing? Is this? I think career, I think I'd look bad, bald. I'd like to.

You know how good looking of a guy you are, right? No. You're crazy. Oh, get out of you. I will say that the curly, I've always said, curly and bald is a rough look. Thank you. It is. Name one dude other than Kelsey Grammer who's pulled it off.

Larry David. He's not curle. Yeah, but bald is he's whole thing as I'm a bald guy. You got to make it your thing. Yeah, you got to be the thing. It's also... David Berkowitz? I mean...

He had a comb over, I think. He was famous. He was famous. He's got to see himself every day. Larry David didn't have to see him. I got to see myself every day. I know. I know, but I'm just saying that you're aware of it more.

Oh, that is me. Son of Sam. Oh, my God. I know what's the back of it? Son of Sam Rill. Look at that. Yeah. Where does this stop?

He was not a looker. Huh? Where does this stop? 20 years from now. Yeah. Are we getting... A face-huck. He'll get the rear.

No, no, just hair. I'm not going to go surgery. Dude, Michael Jackson started with, I'm just going to get the nose. He died a white lady. Well, he also fucked kids. Yeah. It'll start fucking kids. All right, fine.

It is also, yeah, it's facial, like anything facial with comedians. You're losing expressions. I agree. I'm already embarrassed enough by this. I don't want to go. Don't be embarrassed. Are you crazy? nose and cheek and all that shit.

What you say now? It's a slippery slope. I thought about my under eyes from my, uh, drug use Okay They're noticeable I never had that Now they're

I don't see I might get a little Botox Don't Definitely that penal implant I'm gonna give that a couple of years Get a hog on me Fucking go back I bang a bunch of ex-girlfriends

Be like see who's scrawny now Are you single No I'm dating somebody Hey Who is he Kelsey Grammer All right

You can do worse It's going to tell me why. I love you like I do. He was a party of your back of the day. To sell it. Yeah. I don't know if it was partying, though. It was demons.

I'm chasing a demon. I don't think it was fun. No. No, no, no, no. It's seldom a thing. Dark Kelsey Grammer at a bar would be something. Did he have a bad, like, voicemail go out or something? Or is that Pat O'Brien?

A Pat O'Brien. How'd the hell do you confuse those two? Well, they're both raging alcoholics from the 90s. Yeah, but I think it was Pat O'Brien. Kelsey had trauma. That's Belty's charm. Oh, hell yeah. Wow, that's a full flip there.

He had trauma though. His sister was like murder. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, horrible trauma. And dad, I think. He's like fucking Billy Joel. Tiger Woods.

Doesn't somebody do a bit? Oh, no, that was in the Charlie Sheen documentary. Dude, the Billy Joel story about how he came up with. You know, in the dock, he's driving back drunk on a motorcycle. And his wife's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're a lunatic. And that's when it hit him like, you may be right. I may be crazy.

Get the fuck out of it. just might be the lunatic you're looking for. And it's like, oh my God, in a blackout, he's coming up with song lyrics. Killers. And then she said that when she heard the song and she heard the line, turn out the lights, don't try to save me. She knew it was over. Wow.

Crazy. You're ready to hit like that. I'm sticking around. I know. The piano man? Yeah. Also, he made it sound so chipper. Yeah.

Maybe right. She's packing her back. I killed a homeless guy. They're playing at a weddings and shit. I ran over a kid. Damn, all right, Billy. That was a great doc. That was a great doc.

Yeah, when he's going out in the Hamptons and he's paying for bills and they're like, hey, that was a nice house you bought there on the lake. He's like, huh? I love that Ferrari you got there. He's like, who? I'm like, oh, that was a great yacht you had. And he's like, huh? His accountant was stealing everything?

Yeah. That's scary. Yeah. I have a theory about this, though. Please. It might be an unpopular opinion. Billy Joel was Billy Joel, obviously, in the 70s and 80s. right that's about the time when that happened right wasn't it like in the 90s where this guy ripped

them off the 90s blow my whole thing yeah cds were becoming big everybody was going out and getting their tapes and their records on cd okay billy joel's greatest hit wanted to double album i don't care if you were 14 years old or you were 90 years old that was getting bumped everywhere yeah that guy ripped him off he went on the that he tored relentlessly and became billy jrille Sure. That's right. So if that didn't happen, he might have kicked it in neutral. Interesting.

Same thing happened to Leonard Cohn. In his 70s, his manager ripped him off for like 5 mil. Who? Leonard Cohn, the singer. Five mill manager rips him off. And he was like, I guess I got to go back on tour. I don't have any money left. And in his 70s, he toured.

And it was like the best shit he ever, best shows he ever did. But he was very, you know, he was like living in a monastery, Leonard Cohn. He was very zen. He was kind of like, oh. See, it's good. I blew it all. We're going to be together for a long time, baby. Yeah, but it's your money you should get to blow it.

It's your money, you should get to blow it. I did. But it goes to show you, when your backs against the walls, an artist, that's when you do the best shit. That's why when you're a young comic, you're pumping it out because you're broke. Einstein did his best work as a patent clerk. What's that from? Salacuse. Ghostbusters.

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That's Shopify.com slash drunk Suckers, I'll see you guys later You either do your best work when you're backs against the wall Or you kill yourself True It's a fine line It's a fight or flight That's a top reason people commit suicide

It's relationship, it's money troubles Yeah. Yeah, because, you know, I got the deck stacked against me. His lady left him, too, when these money got stolen. Who? Pretty fucked up. Christy Brinkley?

Yeah. I think she left out on him? Uptown, girl? Uptown. She left over other shit, probably. Yeah, maybe the drink-in's probably there. A little coincidental. Mark goes off on Billy Joel.

Did you guys see that? No, what are you getting hit pieces? I made one joke about Tom Segura, and this guy made a whole of video, a 10-minute video about how I went off. Cut that. Cut that. That's funny you pull up this young lady.

I just saw her walking in the U.S. Open. You saw her? No, no, no. I saw her on the Internet walking to the U.S. Open. I thought it was her mom. With Richard Gears son. Is that who that was? Yes.

We're wearing a regular jeans. They're both in a show called Shards right now, which I just recommended to you. I'm loving it. They're both on a show? They're both on a show called Shards. It's a Brett Easton Ellis thing. I like the jeans that kid was wearing. They look like old school jeans.

Let's see. I'm writing a show called Sharts. That's about far. on celebrities of this pun. So at the gerbil that was living inside him. Yeah. We ruined her dinner one time. She is stunning.

She's beautiful. Oh, Randy Gerber and Cindy Crawford were behind us at dinner. We had no idea. How did you ruin the dinner? We were just loud, drunk assholes. Elbowed, Austin Butler. Yeah, pulping into their chairs.

But I got beef with Gerber. Gerber and I don't get along. Is that? The baby food? That's her daughter. Yeah. Jesus. And that is Richard Gears.

How tall are we talking? That's a cool pair. I like that. See, that's the kind of look I'm talking about. You got this guy, Jacob Mallorty, wearing all these fucking crazy and Timothy Shalamey, no shot against him. They're wearing all this fashion stuff. This kid's walking around a pair of jeans and a crisp button up, and he looks fucking great. He looks like gear.

Yeah. That's a throwback. That's what we got to get back to. Look at that right there. That's a classy kid right there. Yeah, yeah. Sharp. Jerry.

That's probably a pair of fucking Levi's. That's the 90s all over yet. There's no way it's Levi's. Wrangler Ligine jeans I don't like Randy Gerber We got to Me and him got a thing

Who's Randy Gerber? He's a cunt I watched the doc on him Is that true? Yeah well He's very cocky He's one of the He made Casamigos with Clooney

Wait he's the music guy No Oh who am I think of a restaurant guy He's a restaurant guy I'm thinking of burger Who's the king The music guy He does all the

Randy Newman The producer I love Randy Newman Rick Rubin Now he's a hot guy He's tall He has a guy a documentary.

Michael McDonald. She came from somewhere. He's a producer, not a singer. Maybe he's a piano. Phil Specter. Similar. He was a play. He was a bad guy.

No, white guy. Norman! He was banging a hot lady. They're all banging hot ladies. He's a music producer. Leonard Bernstein. Is he young? It's probably 55-60.

He's been around. He did all of Taylor's Rift. He does all of, you know. Oh. You talking about the guy that she sued? What's his name? It's dating. Sidney

Not Geffen Not Geffin Not Geffin The other guy I bombed in front of it Shultz's show Yeah Oh I can't think of this guy Scooter Braun

He's got a whole documentary on him He's older than that What songs did he made? Give me one song I don't know Neil Shadakis No no The comments are going crazy

Rock Stewart What the hell who is this Berber Berber Burger I think he's dating a supermodel I think you're getting dementia from that fucking train Maybe you're right

Maybe you're right You're the Tornish in here right now I can't think of the guy's name, sorry. Damn. He's a hunky guy. He's tall as David Foster. He's a M.

He's a M.C.D. Sound machine, isn't he? No. Why don't you like him? I don't know. I watched the dog. He was just a cocky asshole. But he's put out some good music. That was it.

But I think he was dating. He's a billionaire music producer. What do you want to be humble? Well, go to the dating history. Go to the wives. Sorry, I haven't seen anybody for three days. I've been alone. Dental chair.

Fouse is B.J. Cook, Rebecca Dyer, Linda Thompson, Yolanda Hadid. That's why. Adid? Yeah. She has daughters that are supermodels. He has a young guy to be married that many times. He's not young. He's a prick.

He's born in 49. Those high people seem like down-earth people. I'm being serious. The Hadid, the daughters. I saw they got caught like paparazzi or somebody caught Cooper and her going. going in somewhere and she seemed like super cool. All right. And we know Cooper's cool.

I just saw a guy on the subway on my way here and he kind of looked like very handsome, older guy, like really together and you're like, oh shit, he's like, you're like admiring an older man being handsome. And then I got a good look and he had a little soul patch. And I was like, oh, you were so close. Soul path, flavor saver. A soul patch is really just, it's never been good. It's like a Hitler on the bottom.

It is. You got to be a rusted root to pull that off. Yeah. We need a soul patch guy to pull a genocide so we can stop that. But yeah, sorry to go off on Foster, but yeah, that Gerber, she's, she's all right. Five, nine. Oh, if she looks taller in the picture. Yeah, at the heels.

It's also probably that all these people around are probably short. All these daughters are getting hot. I mean, Johnny Depp's daughter's getting hot. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. You're going to be back on that list.

These are of age. Who else got a hot daughter? Next episode marks like, these kids are fucking hot, man. How old is Joe Lee Pitt? probably 18 Oh, all right You never want to We're clean

Hats down on that one I don't even know what this is Oh Maddox he's 24 Jolie Pitt is 22 Thank you It's too young Mark All right

I'm not dating her I'm just saying How would you not be You're in a holiday Would you go to Airwant every day You got a trainer You're working out Yeah but the bones are there

Fatty I mean it's more than just I know Airone Oh oh Michael Jackson's daughter Don't scroll back too far Too far, Jesus Christ.

Is that a diaper? Your yearbook picture. All right. Try growing up in Wilkespray, Pennsylvania on a steady diet of Detroit-style pizza. Woo! What is that? The cheddar? No, where is that?

Altaicuse. When are you ease up there, Christ, Jesus Christ? He said, bring up Michael Jackson's daughter. All right. She's beautiful. How old is she? Uh-huh. Let's see.

Shouldn't she be African-American? Oh, she's stunning. Kevin. Genetically? Kevin. 28. 28. Dump it.

Bernie. Take it from the top You hit the quoth button We're older fellas Let's go 26 up I love how we're sitting here Looking at 23-year-olds

And Norman has fake hair I'm like You're gonna turn that beamer in for a corvette buddy It's getting rough Six weeks I'll be cruising by fit How old are the Olsen twins now Oh they gotta be 30 Gross

No they got to be a countdown clock This is me outside Equinox Can I say this? I walked by a Pilates class that the big window Jerking off. Did they wave you in? Come on, buddy, come on.

Man. They got a cheeseburger under a box. I felt like I should have put a dollar in the window or something. Oh, it's unreal. This was crazy. Unreal. I went like this real quick and kept it moving. I don't think I was like creep.

Hot women are back. I crawled back. Hot women are back. We had a rough eight years with the biggest beautiful, the Lizzo's, the whole thing we all have to pretend, but it's back, baby. Big is beautiful. All right.

Right? Sure. I'm attracted. The guy on Ozzypic. How's that? Would you go needle or pill? I like the needle. Is it fun to put it in?

Yeah. Yeah, I like the active. Where does it go? I use the salad dressing. Salachuse. I don't get it. That's the clip. It sucked.

Oh, okay. It's a bad joke. But you go, you go. side, anal, thigh. You go here. Yeah, I go... I'm shooting up to... You're doing it too?

You're shooting up? You are down a lot of way. Once the baby was coming on, dude, I was so unhealthy, and I was just like, I have to... Yeah. That's when I put the weight on when the baby came.

Biologically, men hold weight when a baby comes. Yeah. Give it a good... So wait a minute, it's a lifetime thing, and it should be honest for the rest of your life?

No. No, it also, like, you're supposed to use it to... Change your, like, lifestyle, you know? I started working out more, and, you know, Are you going to the gym more? Yeah. That's good.

Oh, he's not. Oh, he's going to a lot of his window. I'm walking. He's out of curves. I'm just walking a lot. And my lifestyle has changed. What, like, how is it changed? What are you eating differently?

Hey, you'd be going through a divorce. I live in Ian's basement. I got to walk to the subway, this and that, those kind of things. Wait, you're living in Ian's basement? Things aren't great. Whoa. Ian Finance? Yeah.

Oh, no. No. Ian Fleming. Yeah, Ian Fleming. I know. What? Nothing on that? I'm not saying another world.

I love it. I love him. Salkees has hot Pilates pictures We know what that is. I don't know what that is. I thought it was a rowing machine. I was living in Ian's basement.

Isn't that what the podcast is? Yeah. You're sleeping on the podcast? I'm next to the set. I'm right in the action. You're waking up to Jordan Jensen, calling him a bitch? They have a respectable recording schedule.

Wow. Is that a big... It's awesome. Are you stretched out? You're making, why don't you get your own place? You're doing well. On TV. I'm doing well.

How to show in town. How to show in town. But I do my best work with a gun to the back of my head. That's what I tell him not to kill himself. Yeah. You may be crazy. No, I blew a lot of that last summer. On what?

And a little bit. This summer on blue. Where are you been? Does you crack a newspaper? What do you mean? I'm a goddamn drug addict. What the hell? What have you been to Hantons all week?

Come on. What newspaper? All right. Gaileney's a piece of shit. What the hell? Damn it. He started the Penn State Coke ring. No, I didn't.

Okay. But I put a lot of those kids through college. How cool is that story, by the way, huh? Yeah. I mean, look, it's not ideal, but better than kid rape. Of course. Is that what drove the... I'm sorry if I'm prying too much of you.

No, please, pry. Is that what drove the marriage apart? No, it was... That actually brought them closer together, believe it or not. that was wasn't the problem it was a bad solution that's what they say in rehab

drugs weren't the problem they were a bad solution oh I see I see yeah yeah no I did that all on my own I'm in the relationship part so how much how much of that went up your nose financially what's a patron do a month

a good amount yeah I had to work through some stuff but I was in I moved out and I was living in house kitchen and Ian's in recovery I'm in recovery and it was a good idea for me to stay with him for a little while. Shout out to my buddy, cousin Ian Fidance.

All right. And if you got a relapse, you could do better than, you could do worse than Ian. Of course. He's a fun dude. I already got my one relapse. Oh, you did? Oh, yeah. When was it?

Austin, Texas, March 6, 2006. Everybody at the Creek in the Cave, I apologize. Still pretty good show. Did you get a bad report? Some people tell stories? Yeah. Any highlights, low lights? It wasn't the best show in the world, I would say.

Well, I don't worry about eight minutes. Kevin had a rough weekend. It was a bumpy ride for everybody. You babysitting? Well, yeah, I mean... I got busted cold. Foley, can I ask you about that moment? What moment?

That you were like, I'll just do this drug, or I'll just do this thing. What was that? Yeah, what brought that on? So Kevin said? This guy stinks. A mean, a Dominican guy in the back. Austin is it evil in Austin, right? When I landed Austin, you just want to...

It was pretty Austin. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. was pre-Austin. We got to the air, we've never really discussed this publicly. We got,

we got to the airport for like a 7 a.m. flight. Yeah. And in New York. In New York, JFK. And he's on the phone with somebody at 5 a.m. Bad sign.

And I was just like, whatever, I've never, we've met at the airport. You've either got a great agent or an even better dealer. I'm like, well, the other five people you know are here. Right. You're like, oh, just give me a minute.

Like you were like conducting business at the fucking. Could you hear it? We all locked in. We're like, this is. this is bad. Did you say anything to him or what? No, what do you...

They're... They're roper dope me. What? They said they wait it. No, we... Okay. I mean, this is all... Let's go.

This is all real... This is typically stuff we... He's a change man. Yeah, and then... It was... That first show was... The vibes were... It was also kind of funny.

On the flight down there, we had a conversation. We were up front of... Great conversation. Everybody else is in the back. And I swear to God, this is how I know my fucking... and cones are all screwed up. We land. I'm talking to one of the producers.

I go, he seems really fucking locked in right now. And they were like, are you fucking crazy? Like, he's all, he's out of this world. Did you just talk yourself into that? I don't know. Yeah,

it was also just like, that wasn't, like this wasn't the first thing. You know? I think I was drinking. Oh, no, I wasn't. Because I wasn't supposed to be drinking.

You got to break this out. So you landed and got right to your Coke guy. I think, I don't know. Or you got at the airport. No, I didn't get at the airport. That would be a federal crime. Nark.

Sorry. Hunter Biden's on next week Knowing that's not great if you're not a cop That's good point That's a Rico Statue 621 Yeah it started in New York I was I was re-going through You didn't fly with it though did you?

No Oh good good In my system maybe but Yeah Little in his nose still I don't know a dog that can smell that eye That sucks too Fuck

I got that They gotta get this guy back on blow tank it over here So you get there and what happens Yeah it started in New York and continued there It was about a 48 hour to 72 hour relapse Wow How much do you sleep during a binge like this?

Zero hours Fuck He came in and we left the show At that point we were all kind of We were just like well like what do we You know What do you do? You could tell it was yipped up all day

And then the show comes My yeah so like I had friends I had friends in Austin who were you know They part take They dabble in, you know, a good time. Devil knows his own. They, like, walked out. They were like, what's that?

Like, that's, you know, I was just like, yeah, you know, we're, I don't know. I can't be happy. Yeah, I just went. And then, yeah, you were like, I'm going to go meet. I can't be happy. How much did you spend to be happy today? Yeah. Then you left under some real bad story.

I don't know, you know. Yeah. Pre-show or post-show? But, like, right after. Okay. I'm not red fox. She was like, all right, you know. Disappeared before the show.

And he was, he was, he's like, well, we're going. We're good? We're good. Oh, and you knew. You never seen Fully Run. That's when you knew something was up. His legs were moving. I got to go, guys. Yeah. Puff of smoke. Yeah, and I disappeared off end of the night. Showed up at the Airview. So did you do the show together? So we did two shows at the Creek. We did two shows at the creek and then he fucking... I'm sure you killed it. You're like prior up there. No. No. Oh. I was on fire. He lives on fire. Did you did you know it was going badly at the moment? Not that first one. Yeah.

The second one I knew it was pretty bad. Sweating. Sweeting. Off kilter. Yeah. And what do you think? There's one guy in the crowd of relapsed. Do you remember that?

I do. He's like, I'm clean. You're not relapsing right now. We're all like, well, this is pretty bad. Projecting. At one point, the woman's like, we're like, oh, what do you do? She's like, I'm a nurse. She's like, how do I look right now?

Do I look okay? She's like, what? I'm like, oh, me. She was hot. I liked her. So did you hit the strip club? No. Where'd you go?

those files are See that. Okay. He said torches tacos. What did you say? Torchy's tacos? It wasn't a donut pub. And then I rolled back in

around 9 o'clock in the morning. Okay. Yeah. Pretty reasonable time. You know, I had to get a fresh start in the day. Sure. I was in my room for about a half an hour. And then there was a knock at the door.

It was more than a half an hour. Okay. Time moves quick. It was voodoo. Donuts are like you owe us $1,200. Yeah, and then I walked out to some long faces in the living room. Damn. Yeah.

And what, it was like the screening room of a bad movie. At this point, this was, yeah, my, you know, full. Are you okay with this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you? I didn't, I didn't. Yeah, I was okay. I was, I had, this was not the first kind of incident we had,

specifically on the road. in Austin. Well, you used to open for Mullaney. Okay, cut that. Which endeared me so much, so much to him. I agree. Yeah, I agree. That was fun.

When did he start using again? That's like, was like new in town? I'm right here. Ask me. Hold on, hold on. We're fascinated with you. We're one Coke out of the time. Yeah, I was kind of resigned at that point.

Like there was, you know, the whole team was there and I was just like, I mean, we had this is stuff we said to them obviously it was just like hey man you got this is the second conversation a handful of months where it's like the product the shows are like we're not I'm like I have a kid we're all flying down here we're spending a shit ton of fucking money to put like

we're living like we're blowing the whole fucking check in like a $5 million house with a cold plant like you know I'm like we're doing this for fun and to like shoot content yeah now you're not shooting we can't do you know you're tanking the shows there's no fucking content being made we don't need to fly six guys

around for the fuck of it. I'm like, we're coming home with no money, no fucking episodes, no nothing. If you want to go to Austin, get all fucked up, by all means, but the irony is that this would be great content. If you could film this fucking, put a body cam on this motherfucker and it's a big body cam.

Your mind is going to get a Patreon. He's killing himself. I'm trying to kill myself. I'm not promoting. I'm just, he's doing it anyway. Put a GoPro on the bastard. You sound like one of the demons that fucking CAA or something. Like, okay, if you're gonna kill yourself, we need,

we need a camera crew. Let me call Mr. Beast. I'd be lying if we didn't try to hook one up while he was sleeping. Thank you. Thank you. He kept falling out. He didn't sleep.

Foley, how do you respond when he says this to you? What? Like, yeah, the shows aren't going right. I think it would be funny if you... Oh, we've had long discussions of what I've put them through. It's fucking, yeah, the guilt

and all that stuff is brutal. Which I'm in that, you're in, you're in that now in recovery of, you know, like I said, the drugs weren't the problem. they were a bad solution and now you're figuring out what the problem was and going through all that and I was just at a I was it just um yeah it was the was the worst time in my life and I'm glad you're sober now. Thanks now.

Huh? About a year ago. It ran for about 18 months and then went in a rehab, outpatient rehab in October. I'd heard you party down the road. I didn't know it was this serious man. I'm sorry. We didn't party on the road. We didn't party in the road.

We have a very strict business. Yeah. Was it the divorce? Is that what sparked it? No, it was my marriage was falling apart. We got to pay for that, you cut. Yeah, we can't use this. We can't use this.

That was great, though. It's funny. Yeah, my life was just falling apart. I was incredibly sad and depressed. And I'd lost my father. I'd never processed that. I didn't know that. I'm sorry.

Yeah. And childhood trauma and shit like that. I was just fucked up. and I thought what we had achieved would save me. And I realized, and you have all of this stuff and it's like not. Right. I'm still, you're still putting your head on the pillow at the end of the day of like, well, the success and sold out shows and whatever doesn't make you happy.

Which we appreciate. Yeah, of course. If it fills you, like from a creative standpoint and stuff like that. That was the thing. It's why aren't I happy? But can we just say that moment where you go, I'm doing it. That's a great feeling. What are you doing?

I'm just saying. Doing what? When you're kind of going down that hole and you're like, I'm already, I'm three lines deep. I got seven whiskeys in me. I know it's wrong, but woo, baby, let's live. That's no better feeling. Don't remind him that it's great to fall off the wagon, Mark. No, no, he knows.

He knows. He knows what he did. Well, another thing that day. So you were sober. You have one May, it was March this year that you fell off? Yeah. Yeah. So but other than that, you've been sober for how long?

Since March. Since March 6 was the last time that I used. Okay, that's good. Relapse. Now lap band. They give you one or whatever. That was a mistake. Not their mistake, but I heard that in rehab.

They were like, you know, relapse can be a part of it. And in back of my head, I was like, yeah. So no sauce, no, obviously no drugs. And Ozempic. And Ozempic. Walking and all that kind of stuff. Big 180. Group therapy, therapy.

meetings Wow Wow And finance's couch will wake you up too That'll snap you back He's been He's been awesome Yeah

I mean Kevin has been He saved my life I'm so happy that you That you didn't take it further man Not to bring this comedy podcast No no do we love you We don't want something bad to happen You know

We need you That's also like that's like the tough You're like talking to a guy where you're like You're so mad because you're like this fucking Like you're kind of making this all fucking suck Like no you know But you're like you're like It's like your best friend at the end of the day.

Sure. I want what's best for you. You get to a point. At one point I remember yelling, I'm like, dude, I'm not a drug counselor. I don't know how to fucking deal with. Like, I don't know. I don't know what the answer is, but like you can't, you know, you try to help them and try to be there. And it's like, it's a bumpy, you know, bumpy road.

Can't imagine. Well, you know, we have a lot of friends, you know, like Dan St. Germain is a close friend. I know he's had struggles and stuff. And working at night, being by a. bar like this does not lend itself to and we're like aware of that now like we like we're aware of like the triggers and stuff and not even like we just you know mine was all in turn sorry mine was all it was all internal it was all everything inside of me it wasn't i can fucking you know you guys could have beers and fucking hang out and stuff like that uh there was a bag here that might be a little whatever but

that wasn't a social i don't a social thing by any stretch of the imagination yeah we're just so far past all that now where I've played that tape all the way through and yeah that it doesn't do it for me anymore so what is the key because you know you're just saying you're trying to fill a hole internal trauma childhood trauma what is the

is it just leaning in and owning it and just accepting it and moving on what what's the move there um it's dealing with the issues that were below the surface that I never that I never dealt with and changing uh how I, well, first, learning what it was doing and why I was doing it.

Okay. You know, synapsies, the cycle of it, self-comfort, all that kind of stuff. You know, I didn't know anything about that. Yeah. Would you say, I tell me if this is insensitive, but most... It will be. It will most certainly be insensitive. It better be.

I don't want my money back. Classic Norman. Just trying to learn here. Now, as a fat pig. Well, as a big guy... Uh-huh. That was the biggest I was. Do you think most big guys are doing that for a healing thing?

Most fat guys are trying to push something down? What? Like with trauma. I've always been an addict. That's what I'm saying. Mark, there's different forms of addiction. You know, like some people, it's alcohol. Some people are chain smokers.

Some people do heroin. It's like every type of addiction, you're pushing something down, I think. Yeah, I mean, I have an addiction to everything. Right. I've never been content, happy, or at peace with myself my entire life. So I do think that, I mean, I don't know, is this anti-fat or whatever? But I look at bigger guys, not bigger guys, but guys that are fucking like, that are like me, you're chasing something away. You're not happy.

Not physically, of course. But, uh, no. No, but doesn't, does MEPIC help you with compulsives? behaviors. A lot of times I mean we were taught, Janice told us when we were talking about this and I've always like

kept it in the back of my mind of like it removes the overeating which you use to self-heal. And then you go, oh well fuck. Interesting. And so a lot of people start drinking and because you're like you're not solving.

But I put it was Zemba can kill your craving for alcohol too. And sex. Yeah. It can. And it's good for your heart. They say like if you're using it just to code completely, you then lose that tool. My butcher told me.

Yeah, so you're asking what, yeah, going, dealing with all this stuff, which is like a raw nerve now because there's nothing. Right. There's nothing to numb it or make it go away or whatever. And on the Zepam, the, you know, food that was comforting isn't comforting anymore. What do you look for for comfort now? What's something that can help? A hug from you? I'll give you a big hug, dude.

Get up there. Get in there. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Get out of. God. God. Yeah.

Jeez. There we go. Well, it takes a lot of real courage. Doing really impressed. Doing the work. Like Joe List when, you know, I knew him when he was. Shout out to Jolting Joe. Yeah.

You know. Oh, Joe was crazy drunk. It was a problem, obviously. Joe and I are so close now. And I remember drinking Joe and I was like, this is a bummer. Because I love them and I still love them. But that was like the only times we'd fight. Yeah.

We'd get in each other's face. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And to just deal with all that shit he went through and all this and then you just own it, swallow it and be a man about it. I mean, to me that takes serious. And soda, you know, so do. And so do you. Yeah.

Like, you know, killing it. Plentyer than ever. Is it amazing comment. Yeah. Dan soda. I remember how much Dan used to drink. Oh, yeah. You know, he's open about this.

But I remember we used to hit the bar with like Barcelona bar, any of those bars with them. Shot in a beer guy. And you're like, man. So, you know, yeah, I think they're, everyone's, you're chasing something for sure. Good news is. for Kipping and the boys I was always a tough hang when I was drinking So I wasn't

Is that right? I like it Yeah I mean it was like good It's like good till it's kind of not You know right right Tough on the hookers I mean you gotta go on the bottom Yeah

Foll with the strangler And on the flip side You know I think Nate Bargazzi Maybe I have a beer every now and then You tight son of a bitch I could use a hug And a high ball Yeah we in the boys

when we went through it this last year and they've been fucking unbelievable to me and fantastic. And then we turned around and did our special down in fucking Tampa. Yeah, shout out, we're plugging American garbage on our YouTube channel.

That also goes back to Austin. Austin was the fight, we booked a weekend at the Creek as like a tune-up game before the fucking we got tuned up. We're like, let's get on the same page. We'll fucking, you know, we'll get the,

Fort the Creek, we'll get flood. and we'll roll right into this special, and that's what I wake up to when you're like. Then we turned around and knocked that out of the parking true are you garbage fashion. Shout out to side splitters. When's that popping? September 13th on our YouTube page.

American garbage. Hell yeah. Check that puppy out. Yeah, this comes out September 13th. Oh! Go check it out! I could be gone by now. Check out the side.

In the morning. We're going to have to put in memory of 18. I'm not going anywhere. You better not, yeah. I can announce this too now. This is the day I can announce Netflix special September 29th

So I hope you watch it Yeah Everybody win it Samarelle incorrect Also filmed in Tampa So big month for Tampa baby Norman any plugs for you Get out of

Always back baby I'm back baby I'm doing a special called Dolly Farton Feat Featuring Nate Bargazzi I'm sorry if that was too serious That was amazing

That was we want to be around forever That was beautiful I'm glad you're okay. I mean, that's... Okay is a fucking stretch. We were literally fighting on the walk here and the guy's like, are you garbage in the living? And I'm like, shut the fucking.

Yeah, but you're on the road to being okay and you're gonna get there. He's making a lot of great, a lot of great, I mean, this is literally what I was saying, it's like, I'm in early recovery. You're facing all of this stuff and I'm like, I can't imagine waking up every day being like just getting hit in the head with a fucking shovel of you know, facing it. I've been

awful lot. You know, I could have done this in the slower process. But I've been off a lot But dude, you know You got our number Call us If you're like on the road And you're like

Want to get a beer or something? No seriously Go-Deg a cat Call us man Of course Of course I mean yeah All the boys

Jolt and Joe has been fucking amazing Yeah Of course And Ian Obviously Yep Yeah

And yeah And yeah Kippee and Yeah Ian was on the Brother The horse Right

What? He was on the age For a while I think No I don't think so I got some bad intel I talked to the wrong

trans lady. What the fuck? I thought he was on heroin. I'm thinking of John You're on Coedine right now. What's that guy's Jacked up on Ambien?

Who's the fat guy from Philly with all the tattoos? John Nunn. He was on... Yeah, none or he was on the age. Ian's losing club weekend. We heard you on heroin because of Mark.

I'm clean, you idiot. Well, either way. You're on the news. This guy's snapping pictures. What the hell is happening? What the hell's happening? What kind of setup is this? He doesn't even if I'm traveling

with drugs? This guy's working for the Turkish intelligence agency. For all we know. So let me bring it down even lower. September 11th is the 25th anniversary. That happened two days ago. Wow.

Yeah, guys didn't have any... You're a barrel fucking laugh, sounds like. Jesus. My kids are. Let me ask you, what was it like when your father died? I was at a minivan in Springfield, Missouri, on our way to the blue room. Yes. Whoa.

We're dragging. Yikes. I kind of like that room, actually. That's not bad. The old one. I don't know. I haven't loved the new one. We'll be there.

Tickets available. Let's go. The new room's great. I'm a garbage tour. I like it. I like it. Well, I did the one was like a theater,

a high theater. No, someone, oh, maybe they changed it again. The guy who ran it was helping Kanye's presidential campaign

get off the ground. Wow. I was like, weird thing to volunteer for. Yeah. But. Yeah. Just going full-blown crazy.

Today, the 25th anniversary of 9-11. Yeah. Huh. Quite a show at the garden they're putting on there. I saw that. Quite a line-off.

It's like John Stewart, uh, fucking Ronnie Chang, Gillis, Nikki Glazer, Seindbril? Pete, I think, is on it. Yeah. Yeah. Were you guys in New York for that? Yeah, I was. Yeah. 34th and second.

Oh, shit. I was sleeping because I was fucked up the night before. Which if I would have been awake, maybe. Could have done something. Could have done something. See something. Say something. There's a lot of guys who were too hung over to get that flight saved their life. Seth Macfarlane was one of them.

Seth Mac and Marky Mark. Really? You ever hear that? You know those guys chat? in J.T. Yeah. Fuck, I forgot. It was one of them.

I think it was J.T. had the joke about how, you know, Mark Wahlberg said, you know, if he was on the flight, it would have been different. I'm not going to lie. If I was on that flight and I saw Mark Wahlberg, I'd be like, we got a chance. Yeah, that's true. I love that bit. Remember that old Chappelle bit?

He's like, I think these black guys are going to save us. Oh. You don't remember that bit? No. Oh, from the old killed him softly. they were two terrorists on the plane and the lady goes she saw Chappelle and some other guy

and she's like, I think these black guys are going to try to save us and he went, mm-mm. I remember the bit. That wasn't it killing him softly? I'm telling you. I've been seeing a special in a minute. Oh man, normal ass ball in the surgery.

It's not my bit. My brother worked at the American Stock Exchange and he was. Yeah, he was down there. Whoa. It was fucking brutal. Yeah. But he made it out.

We lost contact with him for about five. hours. God, you don't know what's happening? Must be fucking awful. Yeah. Yeah, that really brought the country together. We could use another. Well, thank for the prom, Salacuse.

This was nice. Any other tragedies you want to freeze over? Katrina? Let's go with the COVID numbers. That's Alcuse. Well, shit, do you guys want any dates you want to plug? Well, we got the special. We got the special.

We're on tour. No, we just announced a tour as well. Everything's available. It's a new tour. Everything's will. It's not up yet. it goes on Friday, we'll be available on are you Garbage.com.

We're kind of going everywhere. Yeah, we are. You ever get guys trying to offer you drugs? Remember in L.A.? Just recently, right? Oh, yeah. It was like after the relapse, and I kind of had to step in.

Yeah. Well, you know, they like to re-relapse you. Like, Stevo, I open for Stevo once. I don't know if I'm supposed to say this. But he doesn't think it was, watch this. Hey, ladies, just letting you know, I'm a recovering sex addict, try to fuck me and then lines of women

wow not to re-up lines but they would they would line up to bang him and he would bang them all you know I'm also a sectatic hey there nice that is smart as well Hollywood improv right yeah but there were somewhere even we were just recently at a meet and greet

yeah we were the fuck were we I don't know no but yeah but I thought about it Henry in the back of my head was like Henry oh Henry yeah The Hollywood Improv The kid walked up And it looked Like it was fucking straight out of the tap

Fish scales Oh Baggy No It was in a thing And it had like a little straw in it too What? Yeah

It was all ready to go Was it here? Yeah What are you talking I'm picturing the pulp fiction case That's might as well wonder what it was Wow Kiffy was right there

That was before... That was way before anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can I get that ice pack? Oh. I got ice that every hour.

The head? Yeah. Man. Like Tom the Cat. Tom the Cat. What? Tom and Jerry? That was a stretch.

It was going to be a 12-minute podcast. We're keeping it all in, baby. I apologize. I'd have that Chappelle bomb. Can I crack it for you? Please. Love that. You love crack.

Here we go. Probably just What am I doing wrong? You don't pop it anymore. That's old school. Yeah, I'm old school, Janice. Squeeze to activate. I think you do got a poppin.

There you go. Richie Appreel, baby. Oh, yeah. Gun to the head. You got to pop it? Squeeze. I want to pop it. Closer to the mic, Mark.

People are loving this at home. Oh, sorry. Yeah. It's not getting cold, Peters. This is great content we're doing right here. What, are we live streaming right now? All right, yeah, so I'll be in Copenhagen, September 13th, Nashville, September 18th, and 19th. Then the following weekend, San Diego American Comedy Co.

Then Phoenix, this could all be moved if we get to shoot the movie. Yes. Phoenix, Pittsburgh in November. Then we got Cleveland, Madison, and Timonia, Maryland. That's enough for now. We have to go in a, yeah, we got like Miami and West Palm in January. And, of course, a special. Please watch a special on Netflix. Samarrell, Incorrect.

I like it. It's a good one. Incorrect. It's quite incorrect. I like that. I'll read your dates since your eyes are covered. It's marks in Winnipeg on September 13th, Minneapolis on the 24th of September. Then he's doing Denver, Colorado, a comedy works in October 1st. Great one.

Some of this might move with the flick. Then Madison at the comedy on State. Everyone says that's a great place. It looks like he just got beat up. Oh, yeah. Charleston, South Carolina, Portland, Oregon. like Rihanna over here. It's the San Jose Improv in November.

Austin, Texas, November 12th. Bethlehem, Las Vegas, Nevada, Charlotte, North Carolina. He's all over the place. Austin, Texas. All over the place. And do we have the, are you garbage tour days?

No, they're not up there. I'm sorry. But yeah, just check it. We'll be in like Fort Wayne. Pop it? I forget. San Jose, San Diego. Ooh.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Holy, squeezing bags again. That's cold. Feel that. You got it? Can't get that in turkey. That's nice.

Cold turkey. All right. Well, you guys are the best. Buy some Bodeca cat whiskey. We love you. We'll see you next week. By the time this comes out of a full head of hair. Sunday's a day for mine peeve-a-wracking shit about the fucking poke.

You'll lunch here in this woman doesn't...